#zorg headcanon | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 18 days ago

Text

Meeting and Dating Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(Apologies for the meeting scenario being massive. Zorg is just that kind of guy.)

- Zorg is nothing like what you’d expected. For a man whose name strikes fear into the hearts of his employees and onward, you’re surprised to find that he is simply a man: a scrawny, almost goofy looking man with the most unassuming face you’ve ever seen. You expected an intimidating stature, perhaps a dark sleek suit or a multitude of facial scars: and while you take notice of the faintest of marks in the space between his eye and eyebrow, none of those descriptors seem to be very accurate at all.

- Zorg is, for better or for worse, a bit of a disappointment: though it certainly makes dealing with him a hell of a lot easier. You’re well aware that he could maim you at any moment yet the image of him limping about your studio space while inquiring about your skills as a futuristic freelancer makes answering him without stuttering a whole lot more feasible.

- Regardless of your personal feelings towards him and his almost insultingly approachable exterior, you find yourself being hired to work for him; at least temporarily, by the time he makes his way out of your front door, leaving you with only a few fleeting directions and a business card with the address of your new place of employment printed plainly on the front.

- For the most part, Zorg pays very little attention to you besides the necessary check ins to monitor your progress with work. Frankly put, you’re nothing special to him, though being nothing special to a man like Zorg; someone who believes that life itself is hardly a precious thing, is not that much of an insult in comparison to the other sorts of things he could potentially regard you as. Nothing of note is a hell of a lot better than useless, expendable, or scum of the Earth.

- He regards you with his usual indifference, up until you manage to impress him with your expertise, proving yourself to be far more useful than he’d initially anticipated. You’re entrusted with more tasks and it becomes commonplace for him to call upon you at odd hours or pay you lone visits; oftentimes without warning. It’s during one of these visits that your relationship takes a bit of a turn….

- Admittedly, you’re a little tipsy when he knocks on your door, tipsy and tired and a little annoyed that you have to deal with work at such a late hour. But you let him in anyway, letting him look over your work as you stand against the wall near your desk, the level of familiarity that’s formed between the two of you making the interaction far less uncomfortable than it probably should have been.

"Don't you have anyone else you'd rather spend time with," You question, glancing at the clock hanging on your wall, sighing and rubbing at your forehead as you read the late hour displayed on its face. "A family, friends, girlfriend?

- He pauses, the gadget you've been working on still held in his hand and lifted towards his face, positioned in the way he was inspecting it mere seconds before. He glances at you for a moment and you wonder if you’re finally going to meet the ruthless businessman you’ve heard so much about. But after a long pause, he turns his attention back to your invention and answers you in an almost matter of fact tone.

"There's more important matters I'd rather spend my time dealing with. You for instance. You and your lovely little creations." The smile he sends your way is the type of smile you usually see from him, somewhat pursed and insincere; tight lipped yet loose at the same time.

“You never get lonely?”

“I’m a busy man. Far too busy to be lonely.”

“You never get horny?” That one gives him pause and, in a way, it gives you pause as well. You hadn't really anticipated voicing the question that had, against your will, crawled its way into your brain yet it had fallen out all the same. You stayed silent, stupidly feeling as though you had to double down.

"Now why would you wanna know about that?" He questions, sounding almost amused as his hands fall down from their raised position, the gadget in his grasp following suit as his fingers absentmindedly fiddle with it's different functions.

"Just curious." You answer quickly, hoping to move on from the topic, your eyes refusing to look him in his face.

"You almost make it sound like its a proposition." He replies, not letting you dismiss the conversation.

"I'm a little drunk." You say, half an excuse and half an apology.

"Ahh." He replies quietly, the sound of understanding feeling teasing in it's delivery, which you're almost certain is what he was aiming for. "Now is that a common thing for you to think about when you're under the influence?"

- You rub your face, taking in a deep breath before looking at him, his eyes twinkling as they watch you, crinkled slightly as though he's having the time of his life. You stare at him for a moment, weighing your options as best as you can before deciding to just go with it.

"All the time. You're a ridiculously desirable man," You state, watching him smirk at the comment, his hands moving to put your work back down onto your desk. "You never did answer the question."

"Maybe I'll indulge you some other time," He replies lightheartedly. "Unless that really was a proposition?"

"Until next time then." You conclude with a small smile, kicking off the wall and leading him back to your front door....

- Now, for reasons you don't care to admit are at least somewhat justified, Zorg kind of has an inkling that you might have a thing for him. And while that may not necessarily be the case at this point in time, it's enough to make him consider the thought of being with you; in one way or another, and the thought of it really doesn't seem all that bad. Zorg is, at his core, just a strange, kind of submissive little loser, so having a woman be into him is definitely a bit of an ego boost; especially when the woman is as attractive and talented as you are.

- You don't help your case when you decide to indulge in his banter. While you're under the assumption that he's teasing you, he's under the assumption that the two of you have a bit of a cat and mouse thing going on: that you're flirting with each other and that you're teasing him by acting all hot and cold. He finds it …alluring; at least at first.

- All the while you're just sort of confused; maybe a little purposefully blind to it all. You're not all that interested in him so when he's suddenly dropping in on you 10x more or coincidentally running into you in the corridors of the office or going to you with things he could very easily be asking his other "employees" about, you're either somewhat confused or just trying to brush it all off so as to not seem presumptuous.

- Though there's no denying that there is something going on, what with the way he looks at you, the random close proximity and the way he reacts to your teasing whenever you decide to return the same energy that he sends your way back to him. He almost seems flustered, seems like his throat goes dry whenever you're in his personal bubble or grin at him over your desk; like he's not used to the attention even though he's very adamant on trying to garner it.

- He's arguably an irredeemable monster, but now that you're thinking about it …he's actually kind of cute.... in a weird, cold, pathetic kind of way.

- Though the minute you start thinking that way, that's when you know it's all over for you....

- Luckily for you, Zorg has it ten times worse. He's wrapped around your finger whether you fully realize it or not. He's good at playing it cool; mainly because he has a somewhat unreadable face, but the minute you ask him for anything, it's already yours. Need a weapon? Simple Appliance? Time off? All you have to do is ask and endure the minute long stare he fixes you with before he finally agrees; sometimes with a teasing question of what he gets out of the deal.

- That being said: the best way to get what you want is to butter him up a little. Flirt, tease, maybe even touch him a bit and he's putty in your hands; no scary stare or nothing. It's a lesson you learn when you really need to leave work early and unluckily run into him in the elevator while trying to make your "secret" escape. You lay it on thick, smiling at him and praising him and clutching at his arm until you both make it to the lobby where he waves you off and lets you go; his heart beating rapidly after staring at your imploring and hopeful little looks.

- Though with this skill of manipulation comes the next phase in your relationship, one where he's much more blatant and open about his advances. This is the point in time where other people start to notice his interest in you; whether they're willing to risk their lives by speaking about it or not.

- Do his assistants understand why they're being shooed out of the room so he can be alone with you, or why he's getting them to deliver flowers or things of the like to your door, or why he's touching you, or speaking so lowly that it's obvious he doesn't want anyone else to hear him but you? Of course they do; at least on some level, but nobody is willing to open their mouths in one way or the other.

- To think of his affections for you as something lighthearted is a mistake: inside of him is a devotion that's almost suffocating; the sort of devotion that neither words nor actions can ever truly express. It becomes palpable in the way he stares at you, the way he speaks to you and the promises he makes.

- It's in those moments that he actually manages to fluster you, your heart and mind unable to process how earnest he's being in his statements. Some of the things he says just seem so implausible, his promises seem so impossible, yet the way he says them makes it seem as though there's no doubt in his mind that he can fulfill them. However, you should already know that there's a difference between everyone in the world and him.

- It's after he fulfills one of these promises that the two of you share your first kiss. You're called into his office, walking in on him sat at his desk, a small smile pulling at his lips. He reveals an object you've desperately needed/wanted for a long time and watches you stare at it in shock and amazement, pleased with himself as he hands it over to you.

- You gush over it for a few moments, thanking him profusely as he teases you about how difficult it was for him to track down. "But I did make a promise, didn't I?" He tells you, watching as you nod along to his words and inspect the object closely. You're only interrupted when he stands and closes in on you, quietly telling you that he thinks he might deserve some compensation for all of his trouble and asking what he's going to get out of this little deal of yours.

- It's a half joke that he makes quite often, one you usually write off with a promise of your exceptional work or expertise in the future, but this time you can't help but fall victim to the excitement and the heaviness in the air. The heat of his gaze bearing down on you in full force as you turn to look at him, scanning his face before leaning in to kiss him for a long moment, feeling the way his surprise slowly melts from his lips and is replaced by reciprocation.

"Well," He starts as you both pull away. "I think all that trouble was well worth it, if I do say so myself."

- Good thing for you, the trouble has proven to be worth it to this day....

- Zorg prefers to keep an air of professionalism whenever the two of you are out in public together, so while he's no stranger to touching you in the presence of others, he has a tendency to keep his affection to a minimum. This is, due in part, to the fact that he prefers keeping the details of your relationship somewhat vague: knowing how dangerous it could be for both of you to go public and show the entire universe just how much he cares for you. He's a man who's made a lot of enemies and if you're going to be with him, you'll have to understand that.

- That being said, he does like to make it known that the two of you are; at the very least, very familiar with each other. Sometimes it's purposeful, like setting a hand on your thigh when you're sitting in on a meeting with him, while other times it's just organic, like how easily the two of you dance around each other while gathering your things to leave or demonstrate a new product. They're typically done whenever he's a bit jealous or feels people are paying too much attention to you. A sort of "she's off limits" warning that no one dares to disobey.

- In normal situations, he's much more prone to staying in close proximity and murmuring quiet comments to you; typically somewhat flirtatious ones that are meant for your ears only, rather than being very touchy feely; though he might occasionally caress your skin in a fleeting gesture while passing you by.

- Hand kisses. He typically gives them to you just as the doors to his office closes: a snippet of affection that his secretary cranes her neck to try and catch.

- Slow, prolonged kisses. You usually lean in with the intention of sharing a quick kiss, yet almost always find yourselves hesitating to pull away; Zorg is especially guilty of this "habit" since he's usually the one asking for the "quick" kiss and then subsequently getting carried away.

- Being gently pulled down onto his lap. He'll take you by the hand and lead you to sit down as he speaks, hooking his chin over your shoulder as you continue your conversation. Sometimes he'll tease you but other times he'll simply listen, relaxing as he listens to you speak and/or explain something in front of you.

- Zorg is a little spoon and you can't convince me otherwise. It doesn't matter if you're taller or shorter than him: he's perfectly content having a backpack or a cocoon depending on the height difference. All that matter is that you're willing to hug him from behind.

- Zorg almost exclusively uses sickly sweet terms of endearment: things like my dear, darlin', sweet pea, honey bunch, buttercup, etc. You have half a mind to think that he's being sarcastic or mocking whenever he uses them, but when you take into consideration the rest of his vocabulary, you quickly realize that it's simply the way that he speaks. It wouldn't feel right being called "babe" by someone like him; you probably can't even imagine it coming out of his mouth.

- Speaking of his eloquent way of speaking: the way that he pronounces things might baffle you at times; or even get on your nerves, (*cough, cough* "corezes" *cough, cough*) but you'll definitely end up saying it the same way as him on accident at some point and it will make you momentarily question your entire existence. He probably won't even realize it but you will, and it's almost worse that way.

- Letting him ramble at you. I say "at you" because he isn't really expecting an answer. He's a very 'string of conscious' kind of talker so all you have to do is look at him and nod along; even if you don't fully understand or agree. He simply likes talking and knowing you're; at least partially, listening. He also just has a tendency to think aloud so sometimes when he's speaking, he isn't actually trying to tell you anything, rather, he's just trying to process his thoughts.

- Random stories about his youth. He doesn't purposefully keep things from you but he does have a tendency to tell you about inconsequential things rather than telling you stories about what others would deem "important moments" in a persons life. He only realizes that he's never told you about certain things when he offhandedly mentions them and you look at him all bewildered. "I didn't tell you about that?" Like?? No, no Zorg, I think I would have remembered you telling me about being in a war??

- He'll go from rambling energetically to being completely silent and that just something you're gonna have to get used to. It might be somewhat alarming at first but once you realize it just means that he's thinking really hard about something, it's easier to relax whenever it randomly occurs. Just give him some time to himself without any disturbances or bring up the last thing that he said to you and he'll work it all out and/or start talking again.

- Sometimes he tells you all of his business, other times, he tells you not to worry your pretty little head about it. It really just depends on the situation so don't take it personally or internalize it if he's being tightlipped about something or acting a little suspicious.

- Getting familiar with his secretary. He always insists that you should tell him the minute you arrive, but you still feel weird interrupting him whenever he's stuck in a meeting so you choose to talk and gossip with her instead. She's usually the one who spills the tea and warns you if there's something's going on whenever he's in a bad mood or the rest of the building is acting like chickens with their heads cut off.

- Accompanying him to galas and office parties. He simply loves having you on his arm.

- Having your own personal driver. Sometimes you'll walk out of your apartment or a random a store and find a car waiting to take you to him. It's just something that becomes normal for you.

- He lowkey has a tracker on you but when you're dating someone who has so many enemies, isn't it kind of reassuring to know that he always has an idea of where you are? ...Don't answer that.

- Though he might not always go with you himself but he always makes sure that you never miss out on something that you're excited about. If he's too busy to attend or if it's really not his cup of tea, he'll pay for you and your friends and/or some of his closest confidants to go so that you're not alone and that you're safe.

- He occasionally has some of his more trusted employees deliver different things to you and/or escort you places whenever he doesn't have the time. And while it's initially a bit awkward for them, they don't mind handing you an expensive bouquet of flowers if it means you'll be able to persuade your boyfriend not to kill them whenever they manage to "disappoint" him.

- He might be good at pretending that he's an extrovert but he isn't actually all that social. He usually just prefers staying in with you after a long day and relaxing by your side, watching the city buzz around you and the stars shine in the sky. He isn't against going out on dates but he prefers having you all to himself and not being bothered.

- Getting to play with Picasso; his little pet Souliman Aktapan. Consider yourself lucky, he doesn't trust just anyone with the colorful little guy.

- Giving him back massages. It's a good way to loosen him up a little and ensure that he isn't about to blow up an entire city whenever he gets a little too tense. It's also an easy way to butter him up whenever you want to ask him about/for something.

- Getting your hair and nails done together. He has people who meet him wherever he is so the two of you don't even have to leave your house whenever you feel like you need a quick trim or a new set. You're dating someone who wears clear gel polish, alright. Don't act so surprised.

- Dates to different types of shows. Operas, ballets, movies: he can get any ticket you could ever want with a couple simple calls.

- Cruises and vacations. Whenever he has to meet with someone somewhere other than his building, he'll bring you along with him and make a trip out of it: promising to handle his business as quick as he possibly can and enjoy the rest of the get away with you doing whatever you'd like.

- Art museum dates. I advise you not to gush over one particular painting too much or else you run the risk of owning it in the very near future: he is the art dealer after all.

- The weirder you look the better. He enjoys the uniqueness of your face, parts of your body, etc. It's like you're a collectors item and as an art collector, he cant help but love it. After all, art is full of subjective opinions and varying ideas about beauty and his idea of beautiful is the thing that stares back at you when you look in the mirror.

- He genuinely gets offended whenever you show signs of being insecure. Like, why are you trying to change yourself? You obviously don't feel comfortable? He chose you for a reason and he's sort of insulted by the idea of you thinking that there's something wrong with the person that he chose to love.

- That being said: as much as he loves your usual sense of style, he can't help but buy you things that fit his aesthetic. He isn't trying to change you or anything, he simply thinks you'd look good in them and finds the idea of you matching with him to be kind of sexy. They're also comparably high quality, expensive outfits as well, so it's sort of like buying you Vivienne Westwood when you usually just thrift.

- The two of you are really in tune with each other: knowing where things are when the other doesn't, swapping things from each others plates without saying anything, dropping things blindly because you know the other will catch it, etc. It makes him happy to think about it whenever he realizes just how comfortable you've become in each others day to day lives.

- A gentleman™. Expect him to open doors for you, pull out your chair, help you up steps, etc. If he doesn't then his employees certainly do and that's entirely because of him so it's still somewhat flattering.

- Getting a tour of all of his creations and the various things that he's collected.

- Getting used to explosions and loud noises. It's part of the world he lives in and it's something you're just gonna have to deal with. He'll usually turn to you and nonchalantly tell you to "cover your ears now, darlin'", which gives you all of ten seconds to do so before having your ear drums blown out by the loudest "boom" you'll ever hear.

- Don't be surprised when he upgrades all of your appliances and fills your home with the newest of robotics; though he might just move you in with him before that even manages to happen. He likes having you at his disposal 24/7 so you're either sharing a home or he's making himself at home in your place; which you guess is just what happens when your boyfriend pays 90% of your rent.

- He immediately takes over and handles things for you whenever anyone is giving you any sort of hard time. Say what you will about him and his methods, he knows how to get things done. You'll never have to worry about any car dealership or landlord issue again.

- Zorg loves you to the point of creation. If you struggle with something, he'll invest thousands of dollars into an invention that'll make it easier for you. He'll then excitedly explain all of it's functions to you with the biggest smile on his face, waiting to see how happy it makes you and how many kisses he's earned by creating it for you.

- Speaking of investing thousands of dollars into something: Zorg takes it upon himself to fund you and your lifestyle. He likes seeing you happy and knowing that you're living carefree so don't be surprised when he gives you his credit card or makes it so that your bills are forwarded to him instead of to you. Also don't be surprised when he compensates you for the few times that he manages to miss one of your dates; which typically happens because he can't get away from work.

- Part of this urge also has to do with his insecurities. He knows that he's a very divisive person and that many people would; rightfully so, view him as a monster but he hopes that spoiling you might convince you otherwise; if all else fails. He's not purposefully trying to make you dependent on him; not for nefarious reasons, but he is hoping that the benefits will out way the negatives whenever you may or may not consider leaving him. You never have to work again so maybe just consider loving him?? Please?

- If you're talking to him, he's in a good mood. If you aren't, all of his companions suffer. His right hand man can tell whenever the two of you have had an argument or if he's worried about you through the way that he's handling his business; i.e. being trigger happy or firing double the amount of people he needs to "just because". Alternatively, he can tell whenever the two of you had a good time since Zorg will actually be kind of lenient. His mood depends on you so try to remember that the next time you forget to call and say good morning.

- It's literally agony for him to wait for your messages or for you to arrive for your dates; especially at the beginning of your relationship. He's constantly checking his clock and his messages and looking all around him whenever he's waiting for you to meet with him or expecting a call from you. He gets all anxious and/or moody whenever you don't reply quick enough for his liking or something of the sort. It's honestly kind of endearing to see how important you are to him; especially since he usually forgets about how upset he may or may not have been the minute you get back to him.

- You literally get away with so much, it's actually kind of funny. He simply can't stay mad and you and it's honestly a little frustrating for him since he doesn't know what it is about you that stops him from holding a grudge. He guesses that it has to be love, right? It's you and his little desk pet: the only two things he really cares about besides himself.

- Zorg likes pushing your buttons whenever he can get away with it; or even when he can't: playing the whole "it was just a joke" or trying to make it seem like whatever he did or said was actually for the best once he gets in trouble for it. He's the backpedal/excuse master supreme, able to talk his way out of anything once he's getting the attention or the opposite of the attention that he was trying to garner. He's a brat who thinks provoking you is fun foreplay so don't take it to heart whenever he's being bothersome.

- He's a terrible flirt: not in the "he's constantly flirting" kind of way but rather in the "he's actually kind of bad at flirting" kind of way instead. He's an eccentric who's never really practiced talking to women before, so don't be surprised if he grows unsure of what to say or stumbles on his responses whenever you turn his actually successful attempts at flirting back around on him. Also don't be surprised if most of his flirting consists of somewhat odd statements that only really become romantic if you take his personality into consideration and think about them hard enough.

- Zorg is the type of person to want everyone but his significant other to fear him. At times, it might annoy him how little influence he has over you but he'd despise it even more if you ever showed signs of fear or uncertainty towards him. You're the love of his life. He likes when you scoff at him or bicker back or so on. He likes that you know he'd never hurt you.

- He literally hates being interrupted so much. You should see the glares he sends towards his employees or anyone else who walks in on the two of you whenever you're having a moment. It takes everything in him not to kill them on the spot and he's honestly, probably unsuccessful at times.

- Though he makes excuses for himself, Zorg still comprehends the fact that he's not a good person so a part of him fears that you might prefer someone who's much more morally correct. It's usually during these instances of insecurity that he tends to get more serious with his reactions towards his own jealousy: like making thinly veiled threats towards the other person or insisting that you shouldn't go somewhere; or sometimes even genuinely considering exterminating the other person.

- When the situation is less serious, he'll simply be jealous over the fact that you didn't spend as much time with him as he would have liked or that he didn't have all of your attention. He'll usually act a lot more petulant rather than malevolent: following you around and questioning you with a tone that resembles a whine the minute the two of you are alone. It's honestly kind of amusing to see him get so pouty.

- He's usually very eager to brush off anyone else that shows interest in him, fully willing to be blunt and occasionally even a little aggressive in order to get his point across. "Well my wife wouldn't like that very much." he'll say with a tight lipped smile before leaving the other woman the minute he sees her smile drop. Sometimes he'll try to make you jealous in order to provoke or get back at you but that usually consists of him simply not moving away whenever a woman approaches him; rather than actually returning any flirtation.

- He's literally willing to exterminate entire races for literally no reason at all. Imagine what would happen if someone were to bother you or possibly even put you in harms way. You just say the words; or don't, and he'll handle it. Please let him handle it.

- He can get a little over the top when he's upset, but you usually just have to tell him to calm down and he'll do so almost immediately. You might get a "don't tell me to calm down" but he'll still do it anyways; especially if you give him a look.

- He'll then dissolve into somewhat hysterical ramblings while he tries to explain himself and the issue he's having, or very calmly try to reason with you as he does his best to control himself. If he's on the calmer side, he might speak to you in a very purposefully sweetened and somewhat sarcastic, pointed tone: making those sorts of "now, I know you wouldn't do something like that, would you darlin" sorts of comments with a tight lipped smile which you typically return to him in full. "I would if you blah blah blah."

- He gets over things relatively quickly so it doesn't take long for him to shyly apologize whenever he's in the wrong or extend the olive branch whenever you are just so that the two of you can go back to being on good terms. He hates fighting with you and his mood really depends on how well your relationship is going so the sooner you make up the better.

- He doesn't say he "loves you" incredibly often but he will say it; usually in a slight mutter because he's a little embarrassed over how much he actually cares about you. He doesn't want to seem like a total softie but his softie-like actions speak louder than his words.

- Zorg would probably propose to you pretty early on in your relationship. He was sure about you the minute you agreed to be his girlfriend so he's pretty eager to move things along. As amusing as it may sound, he also seems like the type to want an almost stereotypical "white picket fence dream": the marriage, the kids, etc.

#zorg imagine #zorg headcanons #fifth element imagine #fifth element headcanons #fifth element imagines #jean-baptiste emanuel zorg imagine #jean-baptiste emanuel zorg imagines #jean-baptiste emanuel zorg headcanons #jean-baptiste emanuel zorg headcanon #jean-baptiste emanuel zorg x reader #zorg imagines #zorg headcanon #zorg x reader #fifth element headcanon #90s movie imagine #90s movie headcanons #90s movie imagines #90s movie headcanon

14 notes · View notes