#zoe murphy drabble

[nothingunrealistic]

prompt 49

49. “Why do you insist on it?”

Dear Evan Hansen,

At the new facility. They took my phone at intake. So much for “tranquility.” I’m typing on my suitemates’ secret iPhone 6. They let me borrow it if I agreed to suck —

“Really?”

“What?” Jared pouts. It might work better if it wasn’t over FaceTime, on Evan’s secondhand iPhone, propped up against his thirdhand laptop. “I was going to say ‘suck eggs for their grandmas.’”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Whatever.”

Hey, before I go, I wanted to know: did you check with Jared Kalwani — the genius sound tech Jared Kalwani — to see if he can hang out? ‘Cause I have no doubt he’d be a great friend to me too —

“Okay, no, Jared.” Evan hits Ctrl-A and deletes the half-written email. “That doesn’t work.”

“That was a literary masterpiece. How does it not work?”

“Well, the rehab stuff is, it’s too depressing.”

“Yeah. It’s rehab.”

“The Murphys won’t want to read it. And you can’t keep trying to write yourself in. This is, like, the third time.”

“Why do you insist on it being all shiny happy codependency? Your friendship was so special and perfect that he didn’t even want to talk to anyone else?”

“Yes. That’s the story. We were best friends. I was his only friend.” Evan scratches his left arm, no longer broadcasting the best possible proof of that story. “You can’t just change it.”

“Uh-huh.” Jared’s eyes move over him, and Evan can tell he saw the scratching. “You do remember how this story ends, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Evan,” Jared says. “Dude. Connor’s dead. And it’s not because his life was going great. Everyone knows that.”

“So?”

“So people will expect to read the tormented musings of a guy in a downward spiral. Not rainbows and butterflies and tree facts to the very end. Maybe they haven’t thought of it yet, but they’ll get there.”

“That’s awful.”

“That’s the human condition. Rubbernecking and being glad it’s not you.”

“Just because you decided to put the emails online —”

“Because Alana told me to, after you begged me to run the Connor Project website —”

“It’s not that simple, okay? Things are messy and complicated, it’s, recovery is nonlinear —”

“Oh, good, someone’s reading the Mental Health Resources page after all. And here I told our glorious co-founder it was a waste of server space.”

“I just want to help the Murphys,” Evan says. That’s all he’s wanted to do, from the moment Mrs. Murphy first mentioned the orchard. It has to be. “That’s the point of all this. I don’t care what people online think.”

“You mean the people giving you all that money to build an orchard for Connor? You’re sure you don’t care what they think? Only about cheering up your fake family and your very real girlfriend?”

“I told you, we’re not — Zoe and I are just friends.”

“Totally. You’ve got a lot of friends these days.”

“Yeah,” Evan says. “It’s pretty nice. You should try it.”

Jared vanishes from the call, and Evan is left staring at the empty Google Doc on his laptop and his own reflection in his phone screen. Alone.

Until Zoe’s texts come in.

Larry is making dinner tonight

His cooking is actually edible

That sounds great

Not that I don’t like your mom’s cooking, but you know

Yeah, I know

See you soon

(prompts to write drabbles or longer stories)

[soursaiki]

Fluffy Zoe Murphy headcanons

Requested: anon

I completely forgot about this lmao

gender neutral

Requests are open!

-

Whenever Zoe plays at an open mic night she brings her s/o along with her

She takes her s/o to rock concerts and festivals

Makes bracelets

Bookstore dates

Collects geodes

Staying up all night reading books in her room with 80’s metal music on low volume playing through her speakers

Great at giving gifts

Spontaneous sleepovers

Shares clothes with her s/o

She takes her s/o thrifting with her

Cafe dates

Late night talks with her get real deep

Breakfast dates

Likes dying her s/o’s hair

Made her s/o give her a stick and poke on her ankle because she’s not old enough for a tattoo without parental consent

Wants a cat so bad

She has like 82637283837 steps in her skin care routine

Also collects dream catchers

Art museum dates

Literally so??? clingy???? This girl is touch starved

Forehead kisses

Wants a pixie cut so bad but Cynthia won’t let her :(

[reprisedpiece]

Empty Auditorium

Pairing: Zoe Murphy x Reader

Warning: nothing really. this is just a plotless fluff that i wanted to write bc :-( i’m lonely

Requested: nope (but someone should have)

Word Count: 1159

Note: THIS IS PURE FLUFF BASED ON THE SONG CECILY SMITH FROM FLY BY NIGHT (if you haven’t heard of this, listen to it right now. listen to will connolly’s version bc i based it from that.) you guys will understand my want for writing this when u listen to it bc it’s cute as shit, pals. one of paragraphs have its first word linked to the song so you can listen to it from there !!! 

| MASTERLIST |

It was hard to find moments like this – to be alone in a sanctuary that thrived in the cheers and joyous screams from the people who stayed in it. The school auditorium was empty with only three lights shining down on the center of the stage where you and Zoe were, legs crossed as you sat across from one another. You were facing the seats and Zoe had her back against this view.

Your fingers were tight around the ukulele’s fretboard, nervously tapping on the wood.

“You sure we can do this here?” You asked the brunette in front of you, voice echoing out to the hallow room.

Zoe gave a meek smile as she reached out to take one of your hands in hers. 

“I’m sure,” She said softly, thumb lightly tracing over your knuckles then your calloused fingertips. “It’s just us here. You wanted to practice, didn’t you?”

You nodded. “I do but what if I forget the lyrics or something?”

“So? That’s why it’s just the two of here right now. I, out of all people, would relate to being afraid of messing up.” She spoke as she comforted you.

You look up from your lap to face Zoe. Her hair was clipped down so you were able to drink in her beauty. She was smiling softly at you, eyes trying to meet yours.

“Anything I can do to make things better? More comfortable?” She asked you as she interlaced your fingers together.

You bit your lower lip. “Sit behind me? At least you wouldn’t have to see me if I do mess up. I mean, only if you want-” 

You were cut off with Zoe standing up from her position before making her way behind you, sitting down as she shifted closer until her chest was pressed against your back. You leaned back into her embrace as she wrapped her arms around your waist, resting her chin on your shoulder.

“Better?” She whispered. You simply nodded before sitting up straight, still is Zoe’s arms. You adjusted your ukulele before you started playing the piece.

Just like that, the auditorium filled with sweet melody.

Zoe watched as your dainty fingertips plucked at the nylon strings. You hugged the brown ukulele close to your chest as you played to the sweet tune of Cecily Smith.

“The war was over, I was living with my folks..” You started to sing and Zoe tilted her head to face you, eyes fluttering close as she listened. A warm smile immediately spread across her face. Zoe’s ears were attuned to the sound of your voice. She felt a tingle in her cheeks as she listened to you sing. She could never get tired of hearing you.

“To see a brunette, who I'd never met but I'd never would forget, how she looked in that dress.” Zoe chuckled quietly as you sang this line, mind wandering to the fond memory of how she met you. 

You did the same, fingers running up and down the fretboard. Your giggled at the thought. You started reminiscing back to when Zoe complimented on how cute your dress was and you almost instantly shot her back with “You’re cute too.” You nearly ran away from her but she placed her hand around your arm before you could. You remember melting at the sight of her just gleaming down at you.

You strummed downwards as Zoe placed a soft kiss on your temple. 

“She laughed and said, ‘Well lucky for you, that you're with Cecily Smith,’“ You felt Zoe tuck a piece of hair, that was hanging in front of your face, behind your ear.

You turned your head a bit to face Zoe, eyes filled with pure adoration. 

“Who cares what you are listening to, it's who you're listening with." You felt a smile creep your face as your mind immediately went to Zoe Murphy, the girl who caught your heart at first glance, the girl who you love right here and right now, the girl who became your first love and who you hoped to be your last.

She blushed under your gaze, running her lips by your ear as you continued to pluck the strings of your ukulele. Zoe ran her hand up your arm as her fingers traced the marks, connecting them with her touch.

“And the hair on my neck was rising. A feeling new and surprising,” You continued to sing as you melted back into Zoe’s touch. 

“But it wasn't the sound that made my heart pound. No, it was because I found her hand is in mine.” You felt Zoe’s other arm tighten around you.

“Remember our first kiss?” She asked quietly while you continued to sing, a smile lingering on your faces at the memory as you nodded, listening to your own voices bounce back into the walls of the empty auditorium. 

It was in Zoe’s room. You sat on a desk, legs swinging as you watched Zoe practice with her guitar. It happened rather quickly. She moved close to the desk, looking for a specific music sheet. She grinned up at you as she listened to you ramble. The sunlight was hitting her hair just enough to highlight her brown locks. Your eyes flickered to her pink lips and you couldn’t help it. You grabbed her face and kissed her. The feeling was indescribable. It wasn’t perfect but you wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

“And a rental where I still can hear her laugh, when I play the phonograph,” You continued, turning your head back to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“So I let the music guide me,” Zoe couldn’t take her eyes off you. She strayed away from cliches. She never expected to be so smitten for someone like you. She expected someone else. You weren’t exactly a perfect match to Zoe’s dream significant other but boy, what she felt for you was something she knew she could never find again in another person. 

“Feel her head begin to lean as the melody soars,” For most of her life, Zoe wasn’t sure about anything. She wasn’t sure if she would turn out to be the daughter her parents wanted her to be, if she was ever going to make amends with her brother, if all she was doing right now was going to guarantee anything about her future. 

“It’s sad but true, how much I miss you,” You sang, fingers strumming. She watched as you neared the end of the song.

“God, I’m so in love with you.” Zoe whispered softly, her rosy cheeks starting to hurt from grinning at you. 

Behind all her uncertainties, you were the one sure thing that she had. She was sure about you.

You smiled down to your ukulele as you sang the last part, eyes shifting lovingly to Zoe Murphy.

“Life is not the things that we do, it's who we're doing them with.”

[connormurphy98]

MATCHMAKER CONNOR

// Hi! I received the following request. :  maybe you could do zoe and evan, like an au where they have a chance and get to be happy? could be like a fluffy movie date or watching netflix or whatever, just being cute. oh also connor lives!au cause connor is alive and well in my heart

I had a lot of fun writing this and I made it more about Zoe and Evan getting together than their actual date but!! I hope you enjoy!

Word Count 1069//

MATCHMAKER CONNOR

I got my letter back from Connor. He had ran to the senior parking lot and started smoking a cigarette. "My sister. Seriously?" Connor asked when he noticed I had followed him. I nodded fast. When he did didn't say anything in response, I decided to speak up. "I've liked her for a long time I didn't just write her in to make you upset." "Why don't you just ask her out?" Connor asks me. My face goes red and I can feel the sweat building up on my palms. "Well you see it's not- I can't just - someone like Zoe wouldn't want to be with someone like me." "What? A nerd" Connor flicked the burnt ash of his cigarette away from me. "Loser, I was going to say actually. But, nerd works too." Connor takes a long drag from his cigarette before taking another read through of my letter. I cringed watching someone read my words. My harsh words written on the page. "I'm going to help you. By the end of this week, we are going to make sure you have a date with her. Live, Evan. I get it. It's scary but if you don't at least... try, you'll never know. 'All my hope is pinned on Zoe, who I don't even know and who doesn't know me.' So go out and get to know her. I'll try if you do." I stare at him confused "You'll try to... date your sister...?" I ask cautiously. Connor stood up "No! God I just meant talk to her more. Jesus christ. I just don't know her either. Do you want my help or not Hansen?" He put his butt into the ashtray and pulled his phone out. "Here. Put your number in. We can text more about this. I've got to get home." I did as Connor asked. I put my phone number in and then we went our separate ways. Me to therapy and Connor, home. I hope Connor was being serious. I might get a date with Zoe this week! /Connors POV/ I got home from school , still holding onto that stupid letter but.. that Evan kid was hurting way more than he was letting on. I only went to talk to him in the computer lab to make up for pushing him like a total asshole that morning but now , after reading his letter, I feel I need to help him out. I see how much he's going through. Nobody should have to feel that way. Not alone at least. I go and knock on Zoe's door. "Hey Zoe can you repaint my right hand? I tried but failed miserably." I've never seen my sister look so dumbfounded in her life. "What?" I ask annoyed. "What's weird about me asking for help?" "Um... exactly that? You never even talk to me-" I cut her off frustrated. "Yeah, well I'm trying to make the effort now so can we at least try?" She said yes and after an hour of us doing each others nails, and talking I finally crept up on the question. "Sooooo.. do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or …..whatever. I don't really know what you're into." She laughs and shakes her head no. "I think I'm destined to be alone forever at this point. There's nobody that's even interested in me." She says dismissively as she takes a handful of m&ms and leans against her head rest. "What if there was though? What if I potentially knew someone that really likes you but is too nervous to do fuck all about it." Her face turned a shade of pink and she leaned forward " Okay. I'm listening. Who is it? Do I know them?" My mind instantly went to Evans letter 'who I don't even know and who doesn't know me'. "You might? Evan Hansen. He's in my year so I don't really know if you've ever talked to him." Zoe nodded and pulled her phone out. "I know I've probably said hi to him once or twice-- actually? I talked to him this morning after you pushed him." She scrolls through his facebook "He’s kind of adorable? He doesn’t post much but I mean from what I've seen he seems to be okay? Are you friends with him or something? Why’d you push him if you’re friends with him?” I shrug “I got pissed ‘cause his friend called me a school shooter. I took it out on him. I’ve apologized though. I really do want to try to be better.”

She smiles at me. “Well, I like ‘wanting to be better’ Connor already. Should I try it? Like try to talk to him." I shrug "I mean give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen? We just started talking. He seems nice enough though. Message him, let me know what happens." I smirk and start to leave her room. "This was nice. Thanks Zo".

The next day at school Evan ran up to me. “I don’t know WHAT you did but Zoe and I haven’t stopped talking all night!” He was grin was so huge I couldn’t help to think of how much that probably hurt.

We keep walking to my locker as he talks all about Zoe. “Messaging someone is so much easier than getting to know them in person for me too? ‘Cause I get to- I don’t have to- I can say my sentences without tripping up on them because I have actual time to think things through. I didn’t feel pressured to respond instantly either, I could just.. Take my time to figure out how I could word something. Thank you thank you thank you.”

Evan then surprised me by hugging me tight. My whole body went tense and I know I clenched my fists together because Evan pulled away so fast. “Shit. Sorry. I’m just so excited and you made this happen? How can I repay you? Um… I don’t really do much like you did… but I could like… have you over for pizza one day or something?”

I waved my hand at him. “Listen, you don’t have to pay me back. Helping you talk to Zoe was me repaying you for being a total dick so… we’re even. You don’t have to hang out with me. But I do expect to hear how the date goes with Zoe.” I smile.

I was actually able to make someone this happy? Maybe I could do something right after all.

[a-simple-gaywitch]

Murphy!reader and family trying to take a family pic? *Cue u arguing w/ Connor and Zoe and Cynthia trying to calm down everyone

Connor and Zoe started arguing about something. Maybe Connor stepped on her foot or she elbowed him, you didn’t know. But you knew their fights lasted forever, so you pulled out your phone and started playing a game. 

“Kids, can we please just try to take this one picture?” your mother implored, pinching the bridge of her nose. “One picture and then you can go do whatever.”

Unfortunately, her plea was unrecognized by you and your siblings. 

[coltonthelizard]

connor x reader drabble

9. “Quit it or I’ll bite.”

Connor pulled his finger away and made an exaggerated sad face. He’d recently realized how cute you looked when he booped your nose, and he’d started doing it every thirty seconds when you were cuddling. “I know you’re trying, but I can’t be intimidated when you’re just so-“ He interrupted himself to poke you again, and true to your word, you snapped at his finger. “Ow!” “I warned you.” He wiped his finger on your shirt and kissed your forehead. “Shut up.”

14. “Take. It. Off.”

You giggled and pulled the mask off, smiling at Connor, who was shakily laughing. He hated clowns. The fact that this particular clown mask had fangs and fake blood dripping down it probably didn’t help. “What, you don’t think it’s cute?” He grabbed it from your hand by its orange hair, looked at it for a second, then tossed it aside. “We’re gonna burn that thing and send it to hell where it belongs.”

1. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

“Really?” Connor was staring intently at your ass. Not that that was uncommon, but he was more quizzical than usual. “Yeah. It’s Halloween. I get to dress like this.” He stood up and started walking towards you. “Babe?” “Yeah?” At this point, his hands were around your lower back and his face was inches from your neck. “Not right now.” He pouted. “Why not?” “Because we’re not having sex in a Party City dressing room, babe.” You kissed him demurely on the cheek. “Okay,” he sighed, turning to leave. He stopped himself. “Do me a favor?” “Yeah?” Connor smirked at you. “Turn around?” You rolled your eyes. “When we get home, babe.”

29. “Come over here and make me.”

You didn’t think he was actually going to. It was a school night, so you were easing your way into a session of sexting Connor when he told you to take something off. And, playfully, you’d dared him to come over, and instead of his usual “damn I wish” he replied with “be there in 15.” That was twelve minutes ago. You sat in your underwear on the bed, watching him roll down the street, headlights off, and park silently. He didn’t speak until he’d crawled in through the window and stood, taking in your state of dress. “Take something off.”

[snakerdoodle]

We Have Chemistry (Kleinsen)

Summary: Okay so honestly I just love Kleinsen and basically this is just me rambling about them, the story isn’t exactly coherent but hey, it was fun to write

Word Count : 1,013

A/N : My birthday is in three days holla ;)

        Jared knew he had the dumbest look on his face, his mouth turned up into dopey grin. Evan Hansen had sat next to him all semester and Jared couldn’t of been more grateful, it was probably the only thing that made AP Science bearable. Not because it helped Jared pay attention anything, but it certainly made it less boring. Besides, Jared knew that he at least had to make a decent grade in order to retain his spot next to Evan, which definitely had its perks. While science was never quite his forte, it certainly was Evan’s. The anxiety ridden kid next to him was always on the edge of his seat, jotting down notes and hanging onto every word the teacher said.

      This was where Jared’s attention laid. Evan was writing down notes with an almost determined expression, his tongue barely sticking out of the side of his mouth. His normally curly blond hair gelled back, freckles from working outside dusted his cheeks. Jared barely furrowed his eyebrows.

                                      Holy hell he was gay. 

      He was just about as gay as you could be. He wanted to kiss every damn freckle on his face. The things he wanted to do to Evan were- Shit. He had looked over at him, his face contorting with panic. Jared could almost hear Evan’s panicked thoughts,

“Oh gosh is there something on my face, why is he staring at me? Was I doing something? Oh god he’s still staring what do I do?”

      Jared met his eyes and motioned him to breathe. Evan nodded, doing as instructed and slowing his breaths. Jared offered a smile which Evan softly returned before he mouthed,

                               “Why were you staring at me?”

         It wasn’t abnormal for Evan to worry, it was kinda his thing. That’s where Jared came in. Always being a grounding force for Evan whenever he needed it. Evan would panic, Jared calmed him down, that’s just how it worked.

          Jared just shrugged, turned in his seat and smiled to himself.

                Evan always had a hard time staying awake during movies, Jared knew this. However that didn’t stop him from inviting him over for a Star Wars marathon. It wasn’t as much viewing as it was Jared passionately explaining every characters backstory with exaggerated hand gestures while Evan watched and listened with a smile on his face as he best friend carried on. Jared always got like this when they watched Star Wars, or Marvel movies, or read comic books, or video games. Evan always enjoyed watching Jared immerse himself in things he enjoyed. Evan was just happy to be there. Just as Jared flung his arm up to demonstrate Boba Fett’s fighting techniques he knocked his own glasses off. This only phased him for a second before he continued his rant. Evan saw them and carefully picked them up. As per usual Jared’s glasses were far from clean. Evan gently cleaned them with the hem of his shirt before carefully putting them back on Jared face. Jared stopped mid sentence and stared at him, his face becoming bright red. Evan gave him a small smile and Jared took a shallow breath,

“So yeah.. That’s why.. Yeah.” “Why he was so cool?” “Right!”

         Jared went right back into his tangent and Evan smiled softly as he listened, ignoring the flush that’d start creeping onto his face. Jared was loud, stubborn, and maybe insensitive at times but god was he passionate and Evan had always admired that. He himself was always in the back, cheering him on. Even when they were younger Jared would speak on Evan’s behalf, knowing fully how much the blond hated speaking in front of the class or introducing himself to classmates. They were both oddballs, but they were oddballs together, secret handshake and all.

        Jared wasn’t the best at expressing emotions. But Jared knew around freshman year he was in love with Evan. And to his dismay it only got worse with age. He found himself getting jealous at the simplest things, not getting to be his lab partner or when Evan would ask about a girl he saw. The summer after their junior year Jared was sick of his stupid pining and decided to completely avoid avoid any feelings he had for him. He spent most of his summer at camp. Though he’d never admit it, he was miserable. He’d purposely talked Evan out of going and it was possibly the worst decision he’d ever made. It certainly didn’t fix his Evan issue either, that time away from him just made him realize how much he depended on Evan. He was Jared’s

         He didn’t do anything about it until senior year however, specifically during homecoming. Both of them had agreed not to go and instead hung out at Evan’s house. Jared had sneaked them beers and the duo were a little passed tipsy when Jared made a self deprecating joke about his love handles. Something that wasn’t out of the norm for him. But what was out of the ordinary was when Evan had turned and looked at him with the softest expression, eyes seeming to sparkle and murmured, “I don’t think that.”

      That’s all it took for Jared to take Evan’s head into his hands and kissed him with all that passion Evan so admired. Evan was completely shell shocked. His childhood friend, his BEST friend was kissing him. But then he wasn’t and Evan’s heart was in his throat. Jared pulled away with an almost shocked expression, his mind swimming with intrusive, angry thoughts before he felt Evan’s lips back on his.

    It was sloppy and Jared’s glasses got in the way but for them it was perfect. It was theirs and that’s all either of them could ever wanted. They melded together in a way that made sense because the two of them always had. Jared was Evan’s rock, Evan was Jared’s. They made each other feel safe and loved, something both of them struggled with. But at least for the moment as long as they had each other, and everything’s okay.

[princedrewwrites]

♫ LET'S GO

Vagabond - Misterwives

“It’s been three days,” Jared told her softly, his hand on her shoulder, pressure fair but firm, as she stared out, out of the cottage window. “He’s not coming back.”

“He is,” she had replied then, twisting and twisting her shawl in her hands. “He will. He has to. He will.”

He didn’t. Not that night, nor the next night, nor the one after that. There was not a sign of Evan, even when seven days had passed, and Alana still sat there, at the cottage window, watching, counting.

“We should look for him,” she said as he set the table. “And we should bring him home, and then we could move to the coast, where he’ll be happy and we’ll be away from people and -”

“He’s gone,” Jared replied, and he was looking away from her, at the bread. “It’s been a week, and he’s not back here. He’ll have returned to the sea by now. Where we found him.”

“But it’s not safe for him there,” Alana replied. “Don’t you remember? How we found him -”

“We found him with a broken arm but alive,” he replied. “Don’t you remember? How we took him to the city, because the fishing was poor at the coast, and how he fell deathly ill? Don’t you remember? How we moved here, because he was dying, and we were away from people, and how he seemed to improve? Do you remember that, Alana?”

She had lowered her head, and said nothing. Even when Jared had apologised, his voice low, and rough, and a little wrong, she did not look at him nor reply.

That night, as he slept, she left the cottage, leaving a note on the table apologising to Jared, food in her basket and shawl wrapped tight around her, and she began to walk, along the shore of the loch, listening to the waves lapping against each other, with no one but herself.

This loch was connected to the next one over. From there, it was a short journey to the sea.

She could find him. She would find him.

The journey to the next loch did not take as long as she thought, but she could not shake the feeling of being watched, even when she looked around to see no one else for miles.

It was a strange, isolating feeling, but one she was used to.

The other loch was large. Much larger than she had thought, stretching out and far beyond the horizon. A stone lodged in her chest as she looked over the water, clear and smooth and deep.

Splash.

Alana looked down, and there, in the water, was perhaps the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, her hair fanning out behind her in the water, eyes wide and unblinking, her lips soft, and smiling. For a moment, Alana wanted to fall into the water with her, beneath the waves, and kiss her until they both ran out of breath, as if they would die if they resurfaced.

But there was something off about her. Like that horse Evan had said was a kelpie.

“May I help you?” the girl in the loch asked.

“I’m looking for someone,” Alana replied. “I think they passed through here.”

The girl in lake raised an eyebrow. “And is that someone a selkie?”

Alana remained quiet.

“I thought as much,” the girl said. “My brother said you might follow him. He warned me about you.”

So. She was one of them, then.

“Is that so?” Alana asked, and they fell into silence.

She knelt down by the loch shore, and gazed out over the distance. The girl just watched her, eyes gleaming as she did, until at last, she spoke, a soft song underpinning her voice.

“My name is Zoe.”

“Alana.”

Zoe nodded.

“You’re lonely, aren’t you?” she asked her, her head cocked to one side, resting on her arms. “To say you’re going this far for one person. You are aware that he isn’t here, aren’t you?”

“But he will be, and I’ll wait for him until he is,” Alana said, as she stared out over the loch. There wasn’t even a cottage on the other shore. “He’ll come back. I know he will.”

“You’ll be waiting a long time,” Zoe told her.

“Well,” Alana said, smiling at Zoe, “isn’t it lucky I have you for company?”

[watch-the-whole-world-disap-blog]

Apple (Zoe x Reader)

A/N: This fic idea came into my head and I couldn’t get it out so I had to write it. Sorry for these random uploads, hoping to get back into some sort of scedule, also expect some fluff to come out tomorrow (hopefully)! Thanks for dealing with me guys!

Word Count: 829

Warnings: crying, breakdowns, cussing, angst, slight verbal abuse

You and Zoe have had a code since before you two started dating.

It began when Zoe had a panic attack the first time since you two had become friends. She had texted you a string of words that didn't make much sense, and then just the word "Come" to get you to speed over to her house.

You two decided it would be easier to just have a symbol, something that when one of you sent it meant that you needed the other and typing wasn't much of an option, usually due to panicking. The symbol was an apple.

It had been a few weeks since you two had used the symbol, the last time being when you had failed a test and your parents had gotten mad at you and you had a breakdown due to all of that. Zoe had rushed over and helped you calm down.

Today you had just been watching something on tv when your phone buzzed and you saw just an apple, from Zoe.

Without even hesitating you grabbed your keys and rushed to Zoe's house, letting yourself in with the spare key they kept under the welcome mat.

Neither of her parents were home, and it seemed as though Connor wasn't, but he could have just been hiding in his room.

You entered Zoe's room to see her curled up, head in between her legs and her hands covering her face. She was shaking and crying, loudly, meaning Connor probably wasn't home or she would have been silent.

"Zo? I'm here now. It's me." You spoke softly and sat next to Zoe, she was positioned on the floor with her back pressed against the side of her bed.

She lifted her head just slightly to see you through tear-filled eyes and let out a sob.

She tried to open her mouth after a few seconds but another sob cut through her and she just shook her head.

"It's okay Zo, I understand, just let it all out. Talk when you can. It's okay now."

Zoe moved her hands so now they were pulling you closer and she shifted to press her body against yours. You wrapped your hands around her and pulled her closer, letting her head rest on your chest and not caring when it started to get soaked through.

Zoe kept mumbling, the only thing you could really understand was "sorry" and "I" though you didn't know why she was saying those things. You slowed your breath and instructed Zoe to breathe in and out with you, hoping it would help.

Eventually Zoe had calmed down slightly, her breathing becoming more regular, and her sobbing turning into just small tears.

"I'm sorry. He..." Zoe could speak again, this was a good sign. Though she trailed off you knew exactly who she was talking about.

"Whatever Connor said to you, it isn't true." You whispered into her hair. She pulled away slightly to look you in the eye, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath before she opened her mouth again to talk.

"He said I was nothing. He said I was useless and mom and dad don't care about me like I think they do. He said no one cares and he knows it. And h-he..."

She trailed off again and you grabbed your hand with your own, letting her squeeze it tightly to ground herself.

"He brought you into it. He's never done that before." It was barely a whisper, like Zoe was scared to admit it.

"He's lying to you." I said, slightly loud than how I'd been before.

"Connor said you don't love me. He said you don't really care because no one does. He said you're just using me or some shit like that. He's never said that before. Why would he say it now?" Zoe was staring into your eyes, you'd never seen them look so intense and so... broken.

"Why would he say it now?" Zoe's voice broke as she repeated the question, and tears started flowing down her face again.

"I don't know. Connor is a dick and he's using you to make himself feel more powerful or whatever the fuck is his deal. I don't know why he said it. But I do know that it isn't true. I could never hate you Zo. I care about you, more than I've ever cared about anything else in this world."

Zoe stared at you, speechless. Then, without looking at you, she asked, "What if he is right?"

You wiped a tear from your eye that you didn't even realize had been there.

"I would never, ever lie to you. I-I love you Zoe."

Zoe finally looked at you again, with complete and utter helplessness in her eyes.

"I love you too." She said it barely above a whisper, but you heard it. You grabbed her close again and held her as tight as possible, not knowing if you'd ever let go again.

[johnny-simpson]

Lashing out!Connor x reader

Connor seemed to be off today. Which wasn’t weird, but you, as his partner, were worried. He had been fine the past week. You wracked your brain for anything that had happened today or this past week, anything that could trigger him.

    Usually, if he was set off by Larry, his mom, or someone at school, you would be the first to know. He always, always told you. He had been getting really good at telling someone, and not keeping it in. You thought that he was feeling better.

   After school, you drove to the Murphy house, because Connor was most likely there. He was also most likely at the house alone; for Zoe was at jazz band practice and Connor had told you one time that when he felt angry, being alone made him more mad.

   As soon as you arrived, you ran up to the door. You knocked loudly a few times. No answer. You knocked again, no answer. You huffed loudly, and grabbed your key to the house, (Mrs. Murphy gave it to you on your two month anniversary with Connor.) and unlocked the door.

    “Connor,” you called, disrupting the peacefulness of the house with your shout. You started to walk up the stairs, hoping that your boyfriend was alright, hoping that he just was tired, and that’s why he seemed off. That’s why he skipped the rest of school.

   You reached the top of the steps, and you smelled the weed, which meant it your worry was real. You sprinted the ten feet it was to Connor’s door, and knocked. Why you were surprised that he didn’t answer, you don’t know.

    “Connnor,” you spoke. “It’s me, its only me. Open up, please.“

   “Fuck off,” he retorted. Your heart dropped, he never told you that. That’s how you realized it was bad.

    You jiggled the doorknob, realizing the door was unlocked. You opened the door and right in front of you was your boyfriend, Connor, looking pissed off.

    “I told you to,” he started. “Fuck off,” he said, walking towards you.

   “No,” you argued. “You’re mad and I want to help. I’m staying here.” He let out a dry, sarcastic laugh.

    “Wow, there goes (Y/n) always there,” he jeered. “Always saving the day. Always the fucking hero.”

   You felt every word jab into your heart, you knew he was doing this to make you leave. That he didn’t really mean it, but it still hurt.

   “I don’t you to be alone, Con. I want to be with you right now.”

     “Wow, they can’t trust me,” he shouted. “They’re turning into my mom, my dad, my sister, basically, literally person who I don’t actually love.”

  “Connor, that’s so not true,” you interjected.

    “Oh,” he said, a taunting grin on his face, taking steps closer to you, and he stopped when he was a couple feet away from you. “No, no, my dear. I don’t actually love you, mom, Larry, Zoe or anyone. It’s just for show, like it is the other way around. People don’t love, fuck, LIKE people who are the same as me. They know we’ll die, that we won’t be along forever!”

   His words became as loud as a machine gun. He had a maniacal look upon his face.

   “Connor, we love you. Your mom loves you, your dad as well. Zoe loves you. And I love you so so much,” you said desperately.

   “That’s just a lie that you’ve said so many times, that you’re actually starting to believe it,” he shouted at you.

  You shook your head and stood your ground, knowing that he wasn’t being truthful. You Your eyes  were watery, you didn’t know what caused it to happen.

  Between the words just spoken to you and your boyfriend’s feelings, it was painful, but you stayed. Because he didn’t mean it, he didn’t really mean that he didn’t love you.

  “Connor,” you spoke softly, looking into his bloodshot eyes. Once you did, he looked away and he crumpled to the ground.

   He fell down and curled up in a ball, his face was hidden in his knees, and his arms were wrapped around his legs, and

    “Can I come over now, Connor,” you asked, hesitantly. Here was your boyfriend, small and vulnerable.

   “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said in a small voice. You walked across the room, and wrapped your arms around him.

   He let go of his legs and hugged you back, he gripped your shirt and started to cry while your hands found his hair and carded them through it.  You let some of your own tears fall and mix with his. You held him and rocked him sideways.

    Here you two were, holding each other and swaying back and forth on the floor, in the middle of his room.

    “I’m sorry,” he confessed softly, after a long while of holding each other. “Why are you with me, (y/n)? You should leave me. I’m toxic, I’m awful.”

  “I am not going to leave you. I’m with you because you make me happy. Because I love you.”

 His head rose and looked into your eyes. His eyes told you that he loved you too. He didn’t need to say it. He loves you so much.

   You brought your hands down from Connor’s hair, and brought  them to his face and held his face. You brushed your thumbs along his splotchy cheek bones. He closed his eyes and relished in the feeling you gave him.

  This was enough for right now, and he was content. You both fell asleep like that, and that’s how Zoe found you, cuddled tightly in the middle of the room. (She took pictures)

==============

Requested by @whale---then

[nogooddeetz]

lol this is my second request, do you think you can do Connor driving Evan and Zoe to school? like just like all of them interacting and like Connor dealing with his bf and sister? yeah idk i just thought it could be cute

the more the merrier! thank you!~“Connor I swear if you’re not ready in 5 minutes I will leave your ass home.” Zoe threatened through the door. Connor rolled his eyes. Zoe was all talk. She was tough as hell, for sure, but she liked to threaten more than she liked to act. Connor had gotten into the habit of ignoring her threats, which of course resulted into more threats.“Connor!” She screamed again. Connor pulled the door to his room open.“Calm your tits, I’m almost done.”“What could possibly be taking this long!” Zoe demanded to know.Connor sighed. “My nail polish is still drying.” He explained.Zoe threw her hands in the air. “Oh my god, who cares! You’re not even driving! They can dry on the way! Just get your ass in the car, I don’t want to be late! We still have to pick up your boyfriend!” She exclaimed and went out the front door. Connor rolled his eyes and picked up his bag, careful not to fuck up his new coat of black nail polish. Ever since he crashed the car and lost his driving privileges, Zoe had been the one to drive both Murphy siblings to school. Since Connor would rather swallow shards of glass than take the school bus, he was forced to play by Zoe’s rules. Fortunately, Zoe had taken quite a liking to Evan and didn’t mind him tagging along. According to her, Connor was easier to deal with ever since Evan came into the picture.He made his way to the front door, ignoring his father and giving a quick forced smile to his mother, just to make her feel better.When Connor reached the car, Zoe already had it running and Katy Perry blasting on the stereo.“Can we please listen to something else? I’m so sick of this pop princess crap.” Connor complained as he got on to the passenger seat.“Driver picks the music, that’s the rule. Besides, Katy is not pop princess crap!” Zoe replied. Connor sighed. “Make sure Evan’s on time, I gotta meet with my lab partner before class.” Zoe explained.“When has Evan ever not been on time?” Connor reasoned. Zoe raised her eyebrows. “True. He’s very responsible. What he sees in you is beyond me…” She teased. Connor flipped her off, which only made her laugh.As expected, Evan was waiting in the driveway when they reached the Hansen residence.“Hey Ev!” Zoe shouted from the driver’s side window. Evan gave her a quick wave. Connor got out of the car and made his way to Evan.“Hey you.” He said as he approached Evan. Evan blushed. As usual. “Hi Connor.” He replied.Connor gave him a quick kiss, which earned an impatient honk of a car horn from Zoe and another blush from Evan. Then he took Evan’s hand and lead him to the car. They took their regular seats in the backseat.Connor always sat up front with Zoe when they left their house, but always moved to sit with Evan in the back when they picked him up. It took a long time for Zoe to stop teasing him about it.“So, Evan,” Zoe said once they made it out of the Hansen’s driveway, “did you do a paper on the electoral system in the United States last year?” She asked.“Uh, I-” Evan began, but Connor interrupted.“Are you seriously going to get Evan to do your assignment for you?” He asked.“No. Reading his would just help me do mine.” Zoe reasoned.“Same difference.” Connor replied.“I could check if I still have mine. I don’t mind.” Evan assures. Connor sighed.“Of course you don’t.”“Oh thank you so much Evan!” Zoe exclaimed. “You know, once you get tired of my brother, be sure to ask me to set you up with someone nice.” She told Evan.“Fuck off.” Connor said.“I- I’m not, I mean, I wouldn’t, you know, get tired of Connor? He’s g-great. Wonderful.” Evan rambled.Zoe giggled. Connor sighed.“She’s just fucking with you. Or well, she’s using you to fuck with me.” He explained. Then he put his arm around Evan’s shoulders and grinned. “Good to know though.”Evan blushed once again. “Shut up.” He replied.Connor chuckled and leaned in to kiss his flushed boyfriend, which said boyfriend happily welcomed.“Awh geez, you guys are so sappy it’s making me sick and jealous at the same time. Cut it out.” Zoe complained.“Make me.” Connor challenged, placing another kiss on the embarrassed looking Evan’s lips.“Hey, I drive you to school every morning, the least you can do is refrain from sucking face with your boyfriend while I do so.” Zoe reasoned.“She’s got a point.” Evan said.Connor gasped dramatically. “Brutus!”Evan giggled.“Fine. No sucking face in your car if I get to pick the music.” Connor said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.“No way.” Zoe replied. “I’m not listening to your teen angst crap the whole drive.”“Fine, then no deal.” Connor said, folding his arms across his chest, until he remembered his damp nails and settled them on his lap instead.“Fine, have fun taking the bus to school.” Zoe said smiling sweetly.Connor opened his mouth to argue but Evan beat him to it.“Or w-what if Connor gets to pick the music twice a week? That still leaves you with three days, uh, since you’re the driver and all.” He carefully suggested.Zoe considered this for a second. “That sounds fair enough.” She finally replied.Connor sighed. “Fine. But I won’t promise to keep my hands off Hansen.” He threatened. Evan blushed again.Zoe laughed. “Fine, just don’t make me puke while I’m driving.” She teased.“You just said you were jealous?” Connor teased back.“It was a moment of weakness! Shut up!” Zoe exclaimed. Connor laughed.“You’ll take turns picking the music and Connor will behave. Problem solved.” Evan decided to jump in again. Zoe turned the car off as she settled into a tiny parking spot in front of their high school.“Deal.” She said, offering Connor her hand to shake from the front seat.Connor glared at her for a second before taking her hand and shaking it. “Deal.”Zoe grinned.“I sure am glad to have you around, Evan.” She said.Evan blushed. Connor sighed.

~if you have any ideas for dear evan hansen fics, so send them my way and I'd love to write them! my inbox is always open for prompts! x

[soursaiki]

Masterlist

-

My requests are always open for Dear Evan Hansen and Be More Chill!

-

Dear Evan Hansen

Evan Hansen:

License Plate Game

Fishnets

Connor Murphy:

Waiter

Jared Kleinman:

Peace and Quiet

A New Feeling

Double Trouble Au

All the characters:

Characters as school staff/teachers

Sincerely Three Boys:

How the boys found out you liked them

Their music tastes:

Their sections in marching band

Treebros

Homecoming

Be More Chill

Jeremy Heere:

Double Trouble AU

Michael Mell:

I wanna dance with somebody

[ritingsandwramblings]

A Little Bit Of Light Part 2/2 (Connor Murphy Imagine)

TW: suicide, overdose.

•••••

/The missing pills from the medicine cabinet The missing kid found passed out in the park All those demons that he wouldn’t let up, that kept dragging him through the dark/

Connor slammed the bathroom door, not caring about the damage or if it pissed off his family. He wouldn’t ever have to worry about pissing off his family again. His shaking hands grabbed either side of the sink to steady himself. He looked up, seeing his sunken-in pale features and bloodshot eyes. His eyes looked as if he’d been smoking, which is what his family and everyone would assume, when in reality he’d been crying. He slowly opened the medicine cabinet, the mirror on the other side moving away so he wouldn’t have to see his own reflection. He searched, finding Advil and Tylenol, until he found a couple leftover pill bottles, from old expired prescriptions. His parents really should’ve thrown these out years ago, why hadn’t they? He was stalling, did he really want to do this? Yes, he didn’t have time to lose, he couldn’t fuck this up. Stuffing the pills in his pocket, he went back to his bedroom, slamming and locking the door with fury. He walked quickly so his family wouldn’t catch him in the halls. Deep down he hoped they’d catch him, see he’d be crying, ask what was wrong. See down he also knew if they ran into him they’d accuse him of smoking again and yell at him. He pressed his back against the door, another tear fell as a shaky breath escaped. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved the letter.

/Lets face it, would anyone notice if I just disappeared?/

No, nobody would, Connor decided. He folded the letter carefully and put it in his pocket, double checking he had the pills before climbing out his window and running as fast as he could. He didn’t know where he would go, he just knew he had to get away. Go somewhere far enough that no one would find him in time to stop him. It was dark, nobody would be at the park at this time, so he went there. He knew his body would be found eventually there, a part of him hoping that it wasn’t found my any children. He went to the small duck pond near the park, and sat on the grass around it. He grasped the pill bottle, looking into the water. This was Zoe’s favorite place. He remembered her coming here a lot when things first got rocky, before she started hating him. Connor uncapped the pills and downed them, as many as he could dry.

/But there’s Zoe, all my hope is pinned on Zoe, who I don’t know and who doesn’t know me. /

His stomach felt funny instantly, cramping up and making him want to be sick. He fought the urge, knowing if he got sick than this would be pointless, he’d vomit out the pills and would wake up tomorrow with nobody knowing a thing. He looked at his reflection in the pond. The reflection stared back, seeming more pale than ever before. A splash hit the pond, the cold water bouncing back up. Connor wiped the tears from his eyes, thinking of how happy everyone would be now, and how maybe things could’ve have been different, better.

It took less than a day to find his body, passed out in the pond. It was Zoe that found him, walking to the pond to destress after another failed traditional Murphy breakfast and a day at school. She sighed, setting her guitar case down by a tree and taking off her bag, suddenly noticing the limo black figure asleep on the other side of the pond. She recognized the hoodie and the mess of brown curls.

“C-Connor?” She called out, already fearing the inevitable, “oh my god.”

/But there were moments…/

[loading-sideblog-posts]

Recently watched the Panic TV Series. Couldn't help myself and wrote a DEH crossover drabble. Might continue it at some point.

Ghosts

"If even one person sees you," Natalie says. "You don't count as invisible anymore."

Dodge Mason's biggest fear is one he hasn't even realized. That he was a ghost himself.

It starts in the second period, English class, middle of the school year. Andrew Dodge Mason is a name nobody knows. He walks the hallways unseen, unnoticed. He walks the halls with only one path, forward. He walks and people scoot over, realizing he's there for a split second and the next he is gone. He feels like a ghost.

He sits down at his seat in the classroom, a row from the back and nearest to the windows.

"Well, I heard he died…"

Someone sits down at the seat behind him, talking to someone else he doesn't see, and utters a name barely audible, the chatter almost drowns it out.

"...a kid named Connor Murphy-"

And his world caves in.

The lighting grows dark, the voices of conversation disappear, and he is standing on nothing.

Suddenly, he is not Andrew Dodge Mason. Suddenly, he does not have a sister named Dayna. Suddenly, he is not in the nowhere town of Carp, Texas.

Suddenly, he is a ghost.

He looks at the front door, polished and pristine. A quaint house on a mundane suburban street. It is quiet. Something was here, something he couldn't quite place.

He wanders into an empty house. People live in it, they talk and they fight, but it is still empty.

He stares at the dinner table. Four chairs, one pushed inward, the others left pulled out. A bouquet of flowers sits there with the tag, "My condolences for Connor, he was a good son."

Connor. Connor Murphy.

The dead kid? He thinks.

He walks up the narrow stairwell to a hallway upstairs. His sister's room is to the left while his is to the right. This was unusual, since his house doesn't have stairs and Dayna's room is on the right side of the hallway. His own room was at the end of the hall.

But, no. This isn't his house, though it is. It truly, fundamentally is but he doesn't feel it is. He's walking in a stranger's house.

There is a voice coming from his sister's room. Soft, mellow singing. The strumming of a guitar.

"Why," she sang. "Should I play the grieving girl and lie? Saying that I miss you..."

Right now, he is not Andrew Dodge Mason. Right now, he has a sister named Zoe. Right now, he is a ghost.

And it is bright again. The murmurs of students come back to his ears. He is sitting at the back of Professor Collins' classroom. He opens his eyes.

If you were to ask Dodge what happened that day, he would say he just dozed off.

[malcolmshearrion]

If I Could Tell Him [Dear Evan Hansen]

    There are a lot of things you could tell him.     You could tell him that you didn’t really want his twenty dollars. He’d expect them back, of course, but they’re right there in your breast pocket, so you know you could tell him anyway. You could tell him that you didn’t even care about the money — that you would have forged his stupid emails in a heartbeat, pay or no pay. You wonder if he’d believe it. You doubt he would.     You could tell him that you don’t actually think Zoe Murphy is hot, not even a little, that you think she’s fat and snobby and too short for your taste. That you never would have swooped in to cockblock him like you somehow know he was afraid you’d do, that you really had no desire to sleep with Zoe fucking Murphy and the thought makes you throw up in your mouth, just a little.     You could tell him about that time sophomore year, when his hand brushed your thigh on the way to third period and he stammered an apology and you brushed it off as just a mistake, not gay, it’s only gay if you make it gay. He must have forgotten by now. You could tell him about how you went home that day and fell against your bed, homework forgotten, and slid your hand down the front of your shorts. How you bit your lip against his name and your back arched off the mattress, just so, and when pictured his hand on your thigh again you came so hard you sobbed.     You could tell him that you’ve been paying for your own car insurance since August.     But you don’t. You flip him off instead and call him an asshole.

[coltonthelizard]

233: Connor Murphy x Reader

warning: pretty in depth descriptions of a suicide attempt and depression

———————————————————

You felt the entire class’ eyes on you as you walked out of the room. This was the third call in a row, and the incessant buzzing had drawn the everyone’s focus from the lecture, towards you. You were used to ignoring daily calls from telemarketers, but three in a row was unusual. Connor Murphy came up as the caller ID, accompanied by a picture of he two of you at his art show a few months ago. Your favorite picture.

“Hey babe.”

“Hello?” The voice wasn’t Connor’s. “Con?” He still didn’t answer. It was a woman on the other end. “Hi, I-I’m sorry, is this Y/N?” You suddenly got the sense that something wasn’t right. “Yes. Who is this?” “My name is—well, your number was saved in his, in Connor’s phone as the emergency contact.” You could hear the pounding of your heart over her silence. “Emergency?” Your voice cracked as you said it. “Connor, well, he’s in the hospital. He was found unconscious on a park bench. The address is-“ You could barely see the numbers as you scrawled them down on a scrap of notebook paper. They didn’t look like numbers. They didn’t look like anything. “I’ll be right there. Thank you.” The tears were audible in your voice. “Room 233. God bless you.” You didn’t press end; you waited for her to.

You slung your unzipped backpack over your shoulder and shoved the door open. The only thing you could hear over the buzzing in your ears was the sound of it crashing against the passenger seat of your car, the one Connor was usually in. The radio turned on when you started your car. You turned it off.

You knew what had happened. You hadn’t heard from him in a few days. He was getting worse and you’d known it, but you hadn’t done anything. It’d happened so many times before. You were so used to depressed Connor that it didn’t register when he was getting bad.

The hospital had music playing in it, and nurses in pink scrubs. It wasn’t right. You signed yourself in as a “guest” as calmly as you could and walked briskly down the hall, scanning. 233. Two three three. You repeated the numbers under your breath until they lost their meaning, and then you found it. Almost at the end of the hall. The door was creamy white with a cool metal handle.

Connor was either asleep or unconscious in the bed. His hair was tangled and in a damp wad behind his head. It was going to bother him when he woke up. If he woke up.

Connor’s nurse looked tired and sorry for you. “Are you Y/N?” “Yeah.” You replied shakily. She looked at you for a moment with raised eyebrows. “Relation?” “I, um,” you swallowed, “significant other.” She checked off a box and set the clipboard down. She was about as old as Cynthia, and you could tell it hurt her to be talking to you the way she was. “So Connor was found unconscious in the park. We tested some blood and it looks like he overdosed on hydrocodone. It’s a highly addictive, prescription-strength painkiller. People usually get a prescription after minor surgery.”

You knew they were from last month, when Zoe got her wisdom teeth out. Connor had joked about selling them for weed money.

“Now, because of the situation, we’re going to have to hold him here for at least a week. Once he’s cleared, he’ll be moving to our mental health ward for further observation.”

“Okay.”

You didn’t want to think about what was going to happen. All you wanted to do was take Connor home and stay under the blankets with him, away from the rest of the world.

“He should be waking up in the next thirty minutes or so. Hit the button when he does.”

You nodded and she left, so it was just you and Connor. He looked so small, sunken into the plastic hospital mattress cover, a patch of blood soaked gauze taped limply in the crook of his elbow. You reached for his hand, but it was too cold. He didn’t squeeze your hand back like he normally did. He did t do anything except lie there, barely breathing.

It was probably ten minutes, but it felt like days before his bloodshot eyes opened. He squinted at you, at the bright lights of the hospital room.

“Fuck. I’m sorry.”

His voice was barely audible.You reached for his hand.

“Don’t worry. Okay? I don’t want you to worry.” He rubbed his calloused thumb over your knuckles. “Of course I’m worried. You’re in the hospital. You tried to—“ you stopped yourself, “you didn’t even tell me. I didn’t even know anything was wrong.” You turned to look at him, and he was watching you weakly, detached from himself.

“I’m gonna be fine. You know that. I’m gonna be fine Y/N.”

You inhaled, holding the breath so the room would stay quiet.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You reached over him, towards the call button.

“I was supposed to hit this as soon as you woke up. Please don’t worry. You’re going to be fine.”

You pressed the button, kissed his forehead, and knew that he was going to be fine. You didn’t want to think about how you were going to have to call his family so they could show up and make things worse. You just savored the last moment of peace before you heard the nurse’s footsteps outside the door.