#zilla's yakkin'

[zillabean]

If you follow me here on tumblr and want to see my Hannibal art, I strongly suggest you allow Mature Content to be visible. Tumblr ALWAYS censors my stuff and throws it behind a Mature Community Filter despite me censoring all the 'naughty bits' out of all my work, so half my stuff doesn't show up for folks. It's very aggravating but I understand this is how their policy works, so just make sure you allow Mature Content visibility if you wanna see half of what I do, haha.

[zillabean]

Sandman is like if Zak Bagans and Twilight Robert Pattinson had a baby. This is just ALL I see anytime he's on screen.

[zillabean]

I'm sorry I don't talk much on here, it's just so hard to interact with people without any sort of natural comment/reply and thread-style conversation capability.

Tumblr is designed for reblogging and the sharing of posts, so proper conversational interaction sort of takes a backseat in that regard, and that's fine.

I'm far more active over on twitter, so if any of you wanna hop in on the crazy nonsense us Fannibals get up to in there, you can find me as beanyzilla over on blue bird app.

I'll always pop by here to check-in though, post art, and peep at the silly reblogs that @tea-eyes always graces my timeline with :3

[zillabean]

Thank you to EVERYONE who has shown me love on all my latest Hannibal pieces! I'm fairly new to Fannibalism, but I'm just utterly enthralled with the show and its characters. Thank you, Fannibal Family, for welcoming me so kindly! Apologies for being poor at responding to tumblr -- tumblr never really lets me know if I've gotten notes or replies or whatnot so half the time I never even see them until much later after the fact, and I can barely reply to them properly. It's not the greatest website for commenting, but great for sharing and reblogging, so thank you to those who have loved and shared my art! It's really wonderful for us artists!

[zillabean]

Good Heart > Good Art

It's easy to idolize folks who create beautiful work, but not all of them are very friendly to their fans & fellow creatives. Whenever I am treated poorly by someone whom I admire, it's a terrible feeling but this is something I try to remind myself of.

[zillabean]

In which Zilla talks about Shiro, her stupid passions, and her fears for the upcoming season(s).

Let me first preface this all by saying I am fully and openly admitting to my status as a huge, HUGE Shiro Stan, and as such I understand that while I might be trying to be as objective as possible, I do come from a standpoint of being very passionate about Shiro’s character, and admitting that bias is important. I also want to emphasis that everything that follows is my own personal opinion alone, and I do not expect others to necessarily agree or disagree, but know that this is just me talking about My Feelies and not me trying to push my opinions onto anyone else.

If you’ve followed me for long enough, you’ll know that Shiro is my absolute favorite character in VLD. So much so that he’s really my sole reason for being so obsessed with this series, so invested am I in his story, his character, and his interactions with his team. The team and ALL the characters as a whole are incredible, and while I absolutely appreciate the story and writing for each personality, Shiro is MY favorite and always the parts I look forward to the most.

That being said, I am once again dreading what’s going to happen to him in the upcoming season(s). From what Barlee said about S6 being extremely divisive (see her twitter @barleedraws), my old fear of them potentially killing off my most favorite character once again has bubbled up to the surface. Project Kuron has been taking a terribly long time to build up and pay off, and I’m honestly really quite tired and anxious to see the REAL SHIRO once again. He arguably has been missing from the series since the climax of S2, and only until that One Scene in S5 when he calls out faintly to Lance in Voltron’s astral grid do we see a glimpse of OUR Shiro since his disappearance from the cockpit of the Black Lion.

I am genuinely terrified that they’re going to kill him off, or somehow remove him from the Team. I’m terrified that they will take the Black Lion away from him. I’m terrified they’ll sideline him, and plop him into another role with less significance and meaning for his character. I’m terrified they will continue to harm him, as time and time again it’s been shown that he’s a bit of Dreamworks’ Paladin Pinata – the one character who is constantly, repeatedly, put through the wringer with no breaks whatsoever. He is the ONE Paladin we have absolutely no backstory about other than he was in the Garrison. We don’t know anything about his family, or who he was before the Garrison and his capture by the Galra, and we know nothing about his time WITH the Galra during the ‘Champion’ year. Every other Paladin at least has had some sort of mention or glimpse of family, except Shiro. He’s like a ghost. And he has not caught a break since. He went from being a tortured Galran prisoner to a lab rat experiment, to being harmed repeatedly by Haggar, to being forced into an Astral Plane fight with Zarkon, to being torn from his Lion at the end of S2, and now here we are again, with him being some sort of compromised sleeper agent/clone/android thing. He is quite literally the one character they’ve put through the wringer the most and hasn’t caught a single break.

This is devastating not just from the sheer amount of rollercoaster turmoil he’s been through, but because Shiro is just a really kind-hearted guy who wants nothing but the best for his team. He’s always been Team First, Self Last. He’s traumatized and suffering internally, he’s flawed and imperfect, but does his best to hold it together for his Space Fam because this Found Family gives him hope and meaning in a very painful life.

His bond with the Black Lion is probably my most favorite ‘relationship’ in Voltron. I would argue that nobody fought harder for their Lion than Shiro, who had to fight Zarkon for its soul in the Astral Plane and nearly died trying to earn its Trust the Right Way. He spent 2 whole seasons fighting for that Lion, for its trust, for its bond, for its connection – never through force, but through a mutual understanding of each other. Two whole seasons. Only to have all that hard work ripped away from him at the end of S2, after he won back the Black Bayard and unlocked those incredible Wings. He would have given his life for that Lion, and to see it all get taken away was devastating to me.

And now, with Project Kuron going the way it is, I won’t be surprised if the penultimate climax of it all is Keith being forced to fight Shiro and ultimately taking control of the Black Lion. While I understand that this is wonderful for Keith fans (and especially fans of the original versions of Voltron which ALL star Keith as the Black Paladin), for someone who came into VLD fresh and watched Shiro go through 2 whole seasons of pain for that Lion, the idea of the Black Lion being taken away from him and given to another is heart-breaking to me. Team Voltron, leading his team mates, earning the Trust of the Black Lion – these are all things that give his beleaguered life meaning, and to see him stripped of that is just devastating. Shiro is bonded to that Lion after all his hard work, and I sincerely feel that taking it all away from him is a massive disservice to his character and to all the fans who’ve watched him grow together with it.

Please understand that this is also not a dig at Keith. As mentioned before, Keith has historically ALWAYS been the pilot of the Black Lion, so it is very likely this is the way the story will go considering the history of the series and how Shiro had been grooming him for the role since the beginning. This is heart-breaking to me, a Shiro fan, but from a series’ history standpoint, it is a very likely possibility. I was always saddened by the whole Lion swap because despite it being a nostalgic nod to the original series, VLD is its own show now, and having spent 2 whole Seasons 1+2 emphasizing how important the Bond is between Lion and Paladin, to see that all get swept aside in favor of realigning the lions to their original pilot lineup for nostalgia’s sake was really disheartening. Lance bonded with Blue IMMEDIATELY and they were practically more friends than Paladin/Lion. He was a natural. And Keith... Keith earned Red’s trust when he showed him he would fight for him, and Red is the only Lion I recall ever seeing go after its Paladin without the Paladin’s impetus. When Keith was facing the Trials of Marmora, Red could sense him, and went for him. He rescued him from floating away forever in Space with Allura as well. Red KNOWS Keith. And Shiro and Black, well you know how I feel about their relationship. Each of these Lions chose their Paladin, and with how much emphasis was put on the whole Spiritual Bond between Lion and Paladin, seeing the Lions swap pilots so quickly at the beginning of S3 was really poor for me. It still doesn’t feel right to me, seeing everyone in swapped Lions. I don’t think it ever will.

That being said, yes, I am TERRIFIED of Shiro being stripped of the Black Lion and being demoted to a lesser role and eventually sidelined from his beloved Team. I’m terrified, once again, that they will kill him off. I’m terrified of seeing my favorite character be destroyed in one way or another, as that would likely end the show for me. I ADORE this show, but I openly admit I really am in it for Shiro and his adventures with his Team, and if he is removed or torn away, my enjoyment of this series will lessen greatly, if not completely. I know others with intense love for their favorites would understand, even if they wouldn’t admit to it.

.... I really honestly could go on and on and on, but I will cut it off here for the sake of not torturing you all with my Deep Shiro Conspiracy Theories. I really just had to get this off my chest as I’ve had it bottled up since I saw Barlee’s tweet about S6 being a wringer for fans. I’m a grown ass woman who loves a cartoon man so much that she’s been thinking of this day and night, and it’s pretty embarassing, but if there’s any place I can be myself, it’s here. So to those of you who’ve made it this far, thank you for that :)

I also want to emphasize something else. No matter what happens... whether Shiro has a wonderful fate or a terrible one... at the end of the day, I fully accept that this is NOT MY STORY. I hold no ill will towards the showrunners, the writers or any of the VLD staff whatsoever. They have a story to tell, they have jobs to do, and if this is the story they write, this is the story they write. They owe nothing to me or anyone else because it is not my story. Their vision is their own, and I’m sure fans will be divided no matter what, considering how divided they are when times are ‘good’! But at the end of the day I fully respect everyone’s hard work in creating this incredible series, even if it ends up not being for me any longer if Shiro is gone.

I also want say that, again, this is entirely my personal opinion, and it one coming from the viewpoint of a massive Shiro Stan. I don’t expect others to agree with me, and I fully appreciate that folks who prefer other characters will disagree completely. This is just me, needing to get something off my chest, as immature as it may sound. I thought I was long past the era of allowing cartoon characters to affect me this deeply, but I guess some of us just never grow up :)

Thank you for coming to my TED Whine :)

[zillabean]

As many horrible bad apples as there are on tumblr, and despite it's (deserved) reputation as a cesspool of fandom horror.... .... I've met some truly awesome folks here. You know who you are. Thanks for being you :)

[zillabean]

I really wish that some people would learn that you can LIKE SOMETHING without utterly lambasting ANOTHER THING that some other people like.

[zillabean]

Sorry I haven't posted more art lately, I have plenty, I've just been buried in projects and been trying to hit deadlines and produce merch. Thanks for sticking by me with your patience even when I'm seemingly creatively quiet :) Lots going on behind the scenes!

[zillabean]

To everyone who has supported my art and myself, no matter the subject or the series or the fandom, THANK YOU for your love :)

[zillabean]

What does "bloofy" mean? I keep seeing people tagging Shiro as a "bloofy boy" and in my head it means he's a stuffed animal plush and I know that's not right....

[zillabean]

You all need to follow @thingsonmydragon if you love cute lizards and a daily pick-me-up. Each day they post their loveable beardie Reptar and each day they make me smile :) Give them a follow! :D

[zillabean]

Sorry for all the Hannispam suddenly but it's been awhile since I've felt any sort of inspiration for personal art these days! It's nice, and I want to do more. But don't worry, I'll also be posting commissions I've been doing for others to break it up, too! Thanks for watching❤️

[zillabean]

Hahahah I found the perfect pet carrier for Shiro to transport Pillbug in XD

[zillabean]

Working slowly on a new Shiro pin design, since folks seemed to enjoy the last one :) Would folks prefer preorders this time around?

[zillabean]

What if Pillbug sneaks onto the Black Lion during a mission 'cuz he wants to be near Daddy. What if he gets space-sick from all the flying. What if he climbs into Shiro's lap for comfort, startling him, and now Voltron is flying funny because the Head is trying to comfort a space-sick alien bug while trying to clean up alien bug barf and STILL fight Zarkon.