#ziir posting

[jackals-ships]

Bal is also on my list of Siblings I'm Blowing Up With My Mind-

[autistic-council-spectre]

hmmm thinkin bout ziir and she probably. has some very conflicting feelings about the dark brotherhood? and the whole thing™ with aventus Absolutely sets her off tbh

Initially she hears about the Arentino boy attempting to summon them but thinks nothing of it, people are always looking for the Brotherhood. It's what they do when they have a thirst for blood but don't want to handle the guilt of doing it themselves. But weeks go by, week and weeks and she grows confused as she hears that he is still at it.

Where are they? If the boy (of which she doesn't at that point know his age) is performing the sacrament where are they?

The house is old and the lock too easy to pick, it comes right open after just a moment. The first thing she smells is blood, then nightshade and deathbell so well he at least got that down. She hears the chant faintly coming from up the stairs, stairs that she has to be careful to not have creak and moan. And he.

Is a child.

He is a child, he is a baby, he must be around thirteen at the oldest but she places him as younger and she. She is filled entirely with rage in that moment.

Why did no one check on him? Why did no one come by concerned about his well being when a child wanted to summon assassins?

(The guards don't even have time to stop her when she slams open the door. Ulfric doesn't have a chance to tell her to get out before she's on him, snarling and screaming that he abandoned a child what was wrong with him?)

But there's a child who's looking so pleased to see her, who's going on and on and nothing she says can make him stop. So she listens. She learns about his families death, the things Grelod did and she. Has no desire to take a contract from a child but FUCK. Fuck her heart is melting and she does anyways.

He doesn't allow her to leave without taking that damn plate.

(the whole time there's a nagging in the back of her head. why did no one come to the boy? why did the sacrament not work?)

She gets the letter and something about it screams further that something isn't right. But regardless she takes the boy and deposits him at the orphanage, assured that things were better and if not well. People can be replaced.

Days later she wakes up in the shack, annoyed at that happening, annoyed further at the grand standing, the demands. (We're it any other situation she would have been amused but she was kidnapped from her own bed. Who does that?) (and how. that that was a deeper concern.)

Kill one of them. Why? Because I'm telling you to. Do you need another reason? You mistake me for a hound to be ordered around then.

But. Begrudgingly she does, she kills all of them and the woman laughs, calls her an overachiever in the most affectionate tone and fuck it reminds her of Ocheeva. It's a stab right in the gut and she's caught too off guard to snap at her that she killed them because if she hadn't the other woman would have and presumably worse.

So she's given an offer of a family with a code and directions.

It takes her only a month to cave in.

She missed the Brotherhood. She left not entirely by her own accord and fuck her but she missed it deeply. It was an ache she kept prodding at and maybe this would stop it, maybe she could heal.

But this one was wrong.

There was no structure, there was no order, there were no tenants. She wanted deeply oh so deeply to feel rage at Astrid, frame it as her fault. Make her an outlet for all the anger she felt at the deep wrongness this place was.

But. Someone taught her. Someone taught the others, someone took the family structure she had known and turned them into a group of cut throats instead.

(distantly she entertained the idea of purification. but no. never again, gods blood never again)

So she would have to change that, lead by example. Love her new family with an absolute burning passion fueled by all the anger she felt towards it's collapse and so help her she would beat the tenets into them if necessary.

It didn't really work, not really, until after the betrayal which she understood. It ached and it burned but she understood.

[jackals-ships]

actually wait hold on

jokes that are only funny To Me

[jackals-ships]

Bedtime At Long Last......but also jackals was Very Brave today and explained. many of the brained worms to momther bc we were slightly on the topic and i had a brief spur of lack of sleep induced Courage (she took it v v well tho i was struggling to Get It Out Right + commiserated a little bc she had Not Quite but to the Left brainworms as a kid)

[jackals-ships]

girl hep we've gotten into sleep deprived zones of a) there is not A Single Thought In Here (it reminds us of being on the ADHD meds. Quiet Brain. Too Sleepy To Think) but also b) chat. the squid is here (mora)

[jackals-ships]

listening to TESLore while doing things again, this time jyggalag, while also Ziir aka me going

[jackals-ships]

Tumblr didn't wanna post bc of the gif which i feel is a sign But 😌 i Am ignoring it. bc im listening to TESlore in an attempt to motivate myself to Clean aka listening 2 a vid about Hircine and staring at him with my Big Ol Eyes. turning into The Autism Creature and following him around

[jackals-ships]

hm hm i think for ease actually ill use '#shaziira roukar' for The Character vs '#ziir posting' for Everything Else

[autistic-council-spectre]

anyways im gonna. do some designs on post!db quest line veezara bc ive decided him+most of the others live in ziirs canon

cuz god damn it todd stop killing my fucking families

[autistic-council-spectre]

this is another scheduled post to remind myself i wrote a thing+to see if it makes sense later:

like,,,i am not the best at allegories and never have been which is shown a lot via tiny niblet esp w the ziir is a slave=abused niblet thing. that im still debating on whether or not to keep bc it is a lil???? +her timeline is fucky anyways

ANYWAYS THO uh where i was going w this,,,oh ya shivering isles=abused niblet again but mostly via memory loss

in every incarnation of ziir that has existed she's gone to the shivering isles and sorta become shegorath but after that her timeline was always ???? without fail, even when i saw ways other ppl made it work i made her timeline still ????

and yknow that's a mood kind of. there's all this big dramatic shit going on for years and like. i don't remember half of it, i got bits and pieces but my timeline is ???? and idk if ill ever get that timeline back or in some semblance of order bc ive repressed this shit so much+im p sure the others are holding onto things to keep away from me

okay i swear i was going somewhere w this but also it's like 4 am while im writing this so,,,,yknow that's why im scheduling this for later to look @

[autistic-council-spectre]

okay now so distract from lingering aaaaaaAAAAA we're gonna discuss my main bastard, the devil kin, local disaster shaziira valtieri

most of this will be listed facts bc that's easier for me i guess???

full name: shaziira valtieri (lachance/septim just kinda. depending on what pops out first)

she's aroundddd 330? vicente was the one who turned her so shes part of the valtieri line+gets all the unique stuff accompanying that

Which. i have no actually sorted out yet

but generally speaking vampires are much faster+more agile than most(ziir even can out match some other vampires simply by being older and having more practice) they have a sort of pheremone that can force younger vampires to Listen™ and it causes non vampires to be more easily swayed by whatever they're saying

there's more on them but that's a whole other text post

disaster pan. absolute fucking dumbass doesn't register sometimes when she's being flirted with especially if they're a woman

has all the partners

all of them okay. lucien+vicente+ocheeva and martin when they were all yknow. alive

along w some characters that will show up later

maybe schizophrenic? idk i base her off me and idk if that's Actually Properly what i have so it's kinda softly aaaa don't wanna be a dumbass and fuck it up

definitely: depressed+traumatized yeet, dissociative disorder, autistic and some mild ocd

has a kind of stitled/formal way of speaking? and a bit of a stutter especially when she's upset

uhhh my brain has died™ I'll add more later

[autistic-council-spectre]

i think i only posted this on my self ship blog (@jackals-ships btw) but all of my self inserts have done various crimes

Ziir: murder, theft, crimes against the state and god

Zan: arson (probably) and the whole. got turned into a weapon for a terrorist organization thing which wasn't technically their fault but also oof

so that means Xavier needs a crime™

so anyways xe accidentally committed tax fraud

[autistic-council-spectre]

also ziir joins up with the DB post oblivion crisis on the basis of her feeling extremely lost an distressed and well. here's Lucien offering her a family an what does she have to lose? a lot actually

an i want to write something with her initial joining of the DB bc i hc them as being very. friendly, open, touchy, affectionate etc like yes they Are a murder cult but like. they're nice to their members still

nicer to her than the Blades were definitely bc they always looked at her with a bit of distrust (their job ofc but that's gonna grate eventually) so the first few weeks ziir is just e.e every time someone casually shows affection towards her

[autistic-council-spectre]

also where is. my all vampires have PTSD post im thinkin about ziir again and that's still one of the few valid posts i made

[autistic-council-spectre]

also what if. i gave ziir kinda redish purple eyes. like i don't have a solid idea on what color her eyes were pre vampirism (green maybe?) bc i focus on her so much post vampirism but i just remembered a lot of albino cats have blue or red purple eyes and i went eyes emoji

[autistic-council-spectre]

also if y'all ever wanna see my just elder scrolls posting/ask ziir some questions my side blog for that is @gold-and-silver-crown