#zer0 please take care of our lanky boi

[mikelaarts]

Am I Gonna Be Your One?

Summary:  Long black suit    Sleek black mask    They’re so sweet    With their get back stare

Inspired by the song “Are You Gonna Be My Girl?”

Words: 3002

Pairing: Rhys x Zer0

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Mentions of Abusive Relationship

Read On Ao3

“Why is there so much singing going on tonight?” Rhys looked up from his work, finally noticing his surroundings making Fiona let out a long groan. They were sat in the corner of Moxxi’s bar, the usually crowded place flooded with people. There was a makeshift stage set up near the back entrance where some would perform a song or play an instrument. Occasionally Moxxi would switch out the singers or players for different people, each one handing her various bills.

“Like I said when we sat down, Moxxi is having a little competition tonight. If you perform a good enough song you get to take one of the vault hunters out for the night. You gotta pay fifty per person to compete though, and I’m pretty sure the hunters are getting paid for this too. Lucky bastards are gonna make a fortune with the talent we have tonight.” Fiona watched as a singer received a chair to the head after his god awful singing.

“Why aren’t you over there Fiona? Aren’t you a vault hunter?” Fiona turned red at Rhys’ question, looking away from the table. Sasha slid into the booth with another round of rakk ale.

“She’s not over there because it’s a little intimidating don’t you think? I mean these guys are like the real thing, everybody knows them. There’s Zer0, Brick, Lilith, Mordecai, Maya, Gaige, Salvador, Axton, hell even Krieg is there.” Sasha continued talking, not realizing that Rhys had completely zoned out after hearing the first name she said. Zer0. Zer0 was here, in this room, waiting to be won as a date. A date. He could date Zer0. Zer0. Unfortunately his brain had short circuited after that revelation and failed to inform him that he also had to win a singing contest in order to date Zer0. Hand under his chin, Rhys stared at the wall of the bar, living in one of his many fantasies of how it’d be to date Zer0. He was just about to kiss his knight in shining armor when someone knocked the arm from under him, making him kiss the table instead.

“Hey! What gives!” Rhys glared daggers at Fiona as she laughed loudly, high-fiving her sister.

“Vaughn was talking to you, you dingus! Why does your face look like that anyways? Are you daydreaming about Claptrap again?” Fiona smirked towards him, taking a large swig of her drink.

“Wha- First of all I do not dream about that psychotic little robot!” The table fell into a fit of giggles as Rhys huffed loudly, crossing his arms. Once the table calmed down Vaughn spoke once again.

“I was saying we should join the competition, we could easily beat everyone here!” Rhys sucked in a deep breath, already feeling the pressure start to build in his throat.

“Hey yeah you’re right! I can’t play any instruments really but Fiona knows how to play the drums! Please tell me you guys have some hidden talent Vaughn.” Sasha leaned over the table enthusiastically, shaking their drinks slightly.

“You’re in luck cause we do! Rhys can play the guitar and the man has some vocals! We actually had a band back in high school up until our first year of college.” Vaughn was leaning into the table now too, the air buzzing with their excitement.

“Oh my god we can totally do this! You can get your date with Axton, Sasha can get a date with- er whoever she wants, I can get Maya and Rhys can finally live in the billion fantasies he’s had of Zer0, isn’t that right Rhys! ….Rhys?” Fiona turned to her friend, noticing that the man hadn’t spoken a word during the entire exchange. Rhys stared at them, his hands tightly clamped together as he tried to get his breathing under control.

“I-I can’t guys. I’m sorry.” Vaughn and Sasha’s faces instantly fell as Fiona grimaced.

“And why exactly not?” Fiona stared at Rhys expectantly, waiting on the excuse he was coming up with. Rhys cursed her inside his head, knowing that his friend just wanted to help him but she never knew when to quit.

“…..My singing voice isn’t that good.” Rhys flinched as Vaughn slammed down his drink, standing up in his chair.

“What on earth are you talking about?! Your voice is amazing! Why would you eve- Oh, it was Jack wasn’t it.” Vaughn sat back in his seat, a knowing frown on his face. Rhys shut his eyes briefly, not wanting to see the pity in his friend’s eyes. They wouldn’t force him to tell them what happened. They wouldn’t want him to remember the torture he had to endure with Jack.

Pumpkin if I wanted to hear the equivalent of cats fucking while scratching a chalkboard I would go out and kill something. Stop singing for me will ya?

Sweetheart I’ve told you before, you are so much cuter when you just keep your mouth shut.

Rhysie baby, I wouldn’t have hit you if you would have just stopped the first time. See what you made me do? I don’t like hurting you baby, you know that.

Since you like to sing so much how about I keep you locked in a cage? Would you like to be my little songbird Rhysie? No? Then shut the fuck up.

Really kiddo this is all your fault. I warned you didn’t I? I’ll come let you out in an hour if I remember, think about what you did.

The air was thick now with unspoken tension, only being filled with the bar chatter and occasional singer or band. Rhys looked over the bar, watching as more people signed up for the contest, Moxxi slipping the money into her cleavage. He turned his head towards Claptrap next, watching as the robot….danced with the radio. He quickly wiped that image from his brain as he looked over to the vault hunter’s table. They were occasionally watching the shows but mainly chatting with each other, clinking their drinks as they laughed loudly. His eyes caught on Zer0 and he watched the alien for only a moment before their head snapped towards him. Rhys sucked in a breath as he was noticed but the vault hunter only raised his hand in a small wave, shooting him a “:D”on his mask. Rhys gave a small crooked smile, waving his hand back at the hunter before turning back to his friends. He didn’t see how the other hunters began to tease the alien, nudging his shoulders and clinking his glass with vigor.

“Oh my god, you can hate me later but we’re doing this. Right now.” Fiona stood up, grabbing Rhys by the arm and dragging him out the booth. Sasha quickly gave Moxxi the money as Vaughn got their instruments together, obviously excited. Rhys gave some protests as Vaughn draped a guitar over his shoulders, putting on his own bass.

“Wait we don’t even know what song we’re playing!”

“‘Are you gonna be my girl’ and you’re dedicating it to Zer0.” Rhys tripped over his words slightly at Fiona’s statement.

“T-The lyrics won’t match up though!”

“Just change them bro, you used to do it in high school all the time.” Vaughn shot his friend an apologetic smile as Fiona got on the drums, her sticks in hand.

“Guys we can’t do this! We haven’t rehearsed, we haven’t thought it through, Sasha doesn’t even know how to play an instrument!”

“Just roll with it Rhys! I can at least play the tambourine part!” Sasha gave him a huge grin as she grabbed the mic briefly, “This song is dedicated to Zer0 from my good friend Rhys!” Rhys watched with dread as the Hunters all turned towards them along with the rest of the bar. Afterall, no one had been brave enough to dedicate a song all night. Sasha pushed the microphone back into place and took her spot. The three friends looked at each other, wondering how this night would end.

Sasha bit her lip as she started the song, watching Rhys carefully. After a few seconds Fiona and Vaughn joined her with their notes, looking towards Rhys as his part came up. The man was still frozen in place, the guitar limp in his hands as he stared dumbfounded at the hunters. The friends were suddenly regretting their decision to perform. Sometimes it was good to push Rhys into things that his anxiety would usually stop him from doing but other times they overloaded him, making him breakdown. If they caused Rhys to have an attack on stage he’d never forgive them, not that they would forgive themselves either. As they neared Rhys’s part they began to frown, getting ready to save the man from embarrassment.

Before Sasha could move Rhys gripped the guitar tightly, taking a deep breath. He strummed the chords when his part came in, leaning into the mic as he screamed “Go!” Smiles broke out across the groups faces as the crowd began to cheer them on as they all played.

So one, two, three, take my hand and come with me

Because you look so fine

That I really wanna make you mine

I say you look so fine

That I really wanna make you mine

Rhys fought against the dread in his throat as the crowd clapped along to their beat. There wasn’t a Jack in his life anymore, he didn’t have to worry about being trapped. No, he was only worried about one person’s opinion and he had their full attention.

Oh, four, five, six c'mon and get your kicks

Now you don’t need that money

When you look like that, do ya honey

Rhys pulled in every last amount of his old college confidence and sent a wink towards the table, smiling a little as Axton shook Zer0 by the shoulder.

Long black suit

Sleek black mask

They’re so sweet

With their get back stare

Rhys was sure that now his face matched the same shade of a tomato. The wink was a little much but now he had the lyrics perfectly matching Zer0. Facing the alien after this was going to kill him.

Well I could see

You home with me

But you are out of my league, yeah!

I know you

Ain’t got much to say

Before I let you get away, yeah!

I said, am I gonna be your one?

Well, so 1,2,3, take my hand and come with me

because you look so fine

and i really wanna make you mine.

I say you look so fine

that I really wanna make you mine.

Rhys mentally high-fived himself as he had yet to stumble over his words or miss a chord despite the fact that it had been years since he performed. The bar was completely engrossed in their performance as it was the first one to have a full musical set and actual good vocals. Somehow at some point Vaughn had lost his shirt and was back to back with Sasha as they bounced to the music. He smiled at his friends as he continued to sing through the song.

Oh, 4,5,6 c'mon and get your kicks

now you don’t need that money

with a face like that, do ya.

Long black suit

Sleek black mask

They’re so sweet

With their get back stare

Well I could see

You home with me

But you are out of my league, yeah!

I know you

Ain’t got much to say

Before I let you get away, yeah!

I said, am I gonna be your one?

Sasha led the bar into clapping along to the beat while Fiona smashed at the drums with such force that Rhys was sure it was going to break. Rhys smiled towards the hunters again as he went into his small solo before singing into the mic with renewed courage.

Oh yea. Oh yea. C'mon!

I could see,

you home with me,

but you were out of my league, yeah!

I know you,

ain’t got much to say,

before I let you get away, yea!

Uh, I’m the one.

I’m the one.

Am I gonna be your one?! Yea

The crowd cheered loudly for the group as they finished the song. The others instantly began cheering for themselves, already knowing that they had for sure won the contest. Rhys on the other hand was slowly beginning to realize what he had done. The lyrics of the song were coming on strong and they were very bold. Worst of all, Zer0 hadn’t taken their eyes off of Rhys once during the whole performance. But then again, Rhys hadn’t taken his off of Zer0 either. He was snapped from their little staring contest as Vaughn slapped him in the back, nearly sending him to the floor. He was going to have to talk to his friend about his strength again later, but for now he could celebrate with them.

“Well I haven’t heard a good performance like that until I shot my first-”

“Uh we’ll just take the prize!” Vaughn cut Moxxi off before she could slip into one of her innuendos. She huffed at the man calling him a buzzkill before leading them over to the hunter’s table. The hunters gave them a small toast as they sat with them at their already cramped table.

“Wow! I haven’t heard someone sing like that in forever! Are you sure Atlas is your calling?” Rhys laughed nervously at Lilith’s question, sitting on the very edge of the table next to Vaughn.

“I rather like working with the guns actually. In fact I’m working on a sniper rifle right now that could somehow ice the opponents in place-” The table let out a groan, Rhys being well known for talking about his guns for hours.

“Nope nope, we ain’t hearing all that. Come sit next to the bastard that’s been eye-fucking you all ni-GHT.” Axton’s voice rose a few octaves, the man whipping his head towards Zer0, staring him down, the alien staring back at the man in challenge. Before anything else could happen, Maya stood, pointing at both of them.

“No we are not having a duel here again. Nope, shut it. I don’t care if he stabbed your thigh, you started it.” Axton grumbled as he stood from his chair, walking towards Rhys’ spot, a small black kunai sticking out his leg.

“Switch with me, I’m not sitting next to Mr. Grumpy Pants over there.” Rhys opened his mouth to decline the offer but one pleading look from Vaughn had him getting up and walking over to the other chair. He gave himself a pep talk on the way over, after all it wasn’t like it was any day he got to sit next to the crush he’s had for almost a year. And it’s not like he just sang a song to them basically begging them to date him. No, it’s cool, it’s fine, it’s fine. Rhys sat in the chair quietly, watching as Vaughn offered to help Axton with his injury.

“An ice-sniper huh?/ I could have some use for that,/ Care to explain more?” Rhys perked up at Zer0’s words before launching into an animated conversation of how it would be just like any other elemental weapon except for it would freeze the enemy to the spot to make shooting easier.

“What about headshots?/” Zer0 tilted their head to the side with a bright ‘?’ shining on their mask.

“Some enemies don’t die when you shoot them in the head because of shields or because of other things like Goliaths. This makes it so that you can keep them in place for a second shot. If I utilize a liquid inside of the bullets to explode upon contact with the bodies it should work, but I would need a liquid that would automatically freeze upon coming in contact with oxygen. I could use Mercury because it freezes at room temperature but that would require the gun to remain hot in order for the bullets not to freeze themselves.” Rhys paused in his speaking for a moment, thinking long before launching into another tangent. Zer0 nodded along to him, listening intently as the man spoke.

“As much as you two are cute together you’ve been talking for four hours straight and I’m trying to shut down my bar so I can get some sleep. Would you be dolls and leave?” Moxxi tapped her foot impatiently, already changed into her night clothes. Rhys rose his eyebrows as he looked around the table, having not even noticed when the others left. He apologized to Moxxi and quickly paid his tab before walking out the door, alongside Zer0.

   “Well um, I guess this counts as a date huh? I’ll see you around sometime Zer0.” Rhys turned away to walk off, stopping only when Zer0 grabbed his arm.

   “Aren’t we going to your house?/ Or did I misread?” For one small moment Rhys could swear that his soul had left his body, threw a party in heaven before coming back down and bringing him back to life.

   “No, no you’re not misreading anything! Um we could go to your place if you want or we could head to mine, doesn’t really matter to me honestly, only I haven’t cleaned up because I wasn’t exactly expecting the night to go….like….this…..” Rhys slowed down his blabbering as Zer0 traced the line of his lips with their thumb.

   “Your place sounds just fine./ Can I spend the night with you?/” Rhys could only nod slowly at the request as their hand was now rubbing his cheek softly. A part of him wondered if he’d actually died back in the bar from the trauma of witnessing one of Claptraps pleasures. Another part of him was perfectly fine with it if this was to be his heaven.

   “Let’s go home now, Rhys.” Rhys smiled at Zer0 as he took their hand, leading them towards his Atlas building.