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ridingtorohan · 8 months ago

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How the shifters react to you having a high body temp, knowing that it represents your platonic/romantic attraction to them

Goofy headcanon time!

Each titan shifter can recognize how another shifter feels about them based on their body heat. This includes all attraction: familial, platonic, aesthetic, romantic, so on.

SPOILERS for shifter identities AND events up to Season 4 Special Literally everyone has some spoilers for the anime to some extent. Older shifters like Kruger and KSaver is excluded, but there's 11 listed. It's in order from oldest to youngest.

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ZEKE YEAGER

He feels it for a second, when your knuckles brush against his wounded shoulder, fastening his restraints tighter, making sure he's secure while transporting him out of Marley on the blimp

Blue eyes darting to you, tracing the features on your face, lingering for a second on the titan marks beneath your eyes

Then he focuses on the task at hand, filing that away for later

He has a lot of time to stew on it, the simmering heat under your touch. Low but steady. Lucky for you! You're assigned to his guard detail in the forest with Captain Levi

Shifter to shifter, you're able to relate on a different level than he does to Levi.

Also makes note how you drop to ice cold when the horrors of Shiganshina. Probably realizes that's where you snagged yourself a titan ability.

Listen... if you saw him coming out of the Beast........... you're smoking, iykyk?

Because he's a little shit, he uses it to his advantage. Makes full eye contact with you during conversations, leaning forward. Which makes it interesting when you or Levi nip off his arms to restrain him and you have to give him a drink.

Leans in nice and slow, eyes staring directly into yours, letting you watch him as he takes a long, slow sip. Licks his lips, knowing you're watching him, leans back, eyes lidded. "Thank you, I was terribly thirsty"

Levi kicks his teeth in

Lord have mercy on you for when it's time to bathe

He literally will always use it to his advantage if you let him but will never clue you in unless you already know

Zeke will tease you about this, pressing a cigarette to his lips, his arm or leg brushing yours. "Are you cold? I can help you feel warmer" (Levi is murdering him with his eyes in the background)

Y'know maybe he does warm you up later 😏

Probably starts warming up to you shortly before his jailbreak, though it's hard to tell in what way.

After this point, it's a little too late to do anything else about it.

LARA TYBUR

Bro you hardly even realize that she's a titan at first.

As a titan inheritor, the Marley Gov't requires that you and your fellows play nice with the Tybur family whenever they visit.

She's tepid temperature at first, your thoughts and ideas making you a little colder to the touch.

You brush against each other at some fancy schmancy dinner party. She act very much like an Eldian at the party, silent, refilling your cup and you thank her.

Later, you're just feeling soo awkward with her family, with watching Willy dance around his family, laughing and jesting.

Some of the Warriors keep trying to make guesses as to who the Warhammer is but ultimately you don't figure it out

You try your luck at befriending all of them, painfully aware of Willy's eyes on you every time you talk to his sister

But something about Lara keeps drawing you in. Her quiet demeanour, the sleek attire, her proper figure. Dutiful and classy, voice quiet but confident.

Telling her about books and the latest movie, offering tea and biscuits from your Zone whenever you visit.

She never says anything about your body temperature and honestly you don't touch her often enough to notice a difference

But you do notice that she talks to you a little more, lingers by your side more than she does anyone else

During the attack, you do everything you can to defend her crystal - so painfully, carefully aware of how it burns under your titan's hand

REINER BRAUN

Sorry, he's made to suffer. Nothing in his life is ever easy. Isayama decided that. (And so did I.) (There's a happy ending, I promise.)

Things would be simpler for Reiner if everything went well, if he became a great warrior, if his father noticed him, if he did well on his missions. The first thing that goes wrong is Marcel.

When he meets you for the first time, a memory tickles at his mind. Something familiar in the way your skin touches his. Then he gives you a smile, introducing himself and Bertholdt.

Something about you always drew him in. He'd watch you across the training yard and smile whenever you looked at him. Always glad to help you out, shedding himself of the warrior skin and so much easier into the soldier one.

Sucks as a sparring partner btw. Always checking to make sure he didn't go too hard on you.

At some point you probably made mention of him working up a sweat during the training. His body temp is not much warmer than normal but noticeable. Everyone in the Cadets is his pal but there's something special about you

You, who feels like they've had a bit too much sun, but still comfortable.

With time, it may increase to a warmth that lingers in his bones, reminding him of his mother's teas and fresh bread.

He really likes wrapping his arms around you for this, a big bear who just holds you tight to his chest. Big squish!

Likes to clap his hands to your shoulders from behind, feel your warmth in his hands

If you are this warm, he'll always do a little start when you touch him, caught off guard. With as often as he's thought about you, he'll become a bit flustered at times - he begins to entertain a crush and/or getting to know you better.

However, a part of Reiner always remains..... apprehensive

Lays awake at night wondering about you, your tale of being orphaned, family long dead. Something not quite settling

This is what stops him from actually getting close-close to you

At Utgard Castle, it's obvious why something niggled inside him at the sight of you. Because one day, when his dreams were shattered by a boy, a titan lunged out of the ground. That's how you inherited the Jaw

It explains everything, in the end. He may not have recognized that you were a fellow shifter but he did recognize the body heat

You, unfortunately, are either kidnapped or agree to go along with Reiner and Bertholdt in the forest.

You are, either, an unfortunate soul cast out of Marley or a former warrior candidate who was cast out alongside your family thanks to Zeke's efforts years prior. If the latter, Reiner does mention it to Zeke in hopes of him sparing you because, technically, you are on "their" side. It's not a positive outlook either way.

Knowing your fate in Marley, Reiner spends time with you. Painfully aware of how broken his betrayal meant to you (if you're colder) or how you still believe in him (if you remain the same/increase)

Above all else, Reiner considers you a friend and he's so sorry.

If, by sheer chance, he leaves you unsupervised or your chains a little loose to "let your blood circulate" and you accidentally escape, he won't be upset.

And if, he saw you, years later, doing recon work in Marley.. and your eyes caught, he would make the conscious choice to turn away.

Marcel may have been his first mistake but he doesn't regret these two.

Very awkward when you join forces with him to take down Eren.

Reiner remembers the last time he saw you, what your touch felt like.

But the thing about Reiner isn't that his soldier personality was a persona - it's still him. He still cares for you. At this point you know what the touch means, can't blame it on the campfires. You may or may not have trusted him before but you trust him now.

Your hand slides in his, reminiscent of your first meeting, letting him know. "I trust you, Reiner. We'll work with you"

He'll still be withdrawn from the Paradis group but ... his feelings about you never really stopped. Time, distance and circumstance may have changed it, but never stopping it.

He thinks of your touch, even now, even during the final fight.

And, when everything is said and done, when the titan blood doesn't linger in either of your veins, Reiner knows how you feel by the look in your eyes.

BERTHOLDT HOOVER

Whatever you do, do NOT think about Bertholdt touching a non-Marleyan shifter after he escapes beyond the walls. Do NOT think about your touch burning under his, with Bert pleading for Zeke's mercy. Because despite everything, you still thought so highly of him.

Real talk: THIS GUY IS THE REASON YOU BECAME A TITAN SHIFTER

Unfortunately, despite being a fellow warrior candidate, you weren't chosen. Your score was a smidge below what they were looking for.

Bert was one the first to shift. In the practice field where this is done, he, unfortunately, steamed the heck out of you. Bad enough that it was a matter of getting medical attention asap. Fortunately, thanks to your score, the generals decided that you would be swapped out with one of the candidates and inherit a titan!

This is Bertholdt's first memory as a titan, by the way. :) He feels beyond terrible for what happened.

But having grown up together, helped each other through the trials and training... you two wind up being friends. Decently close, because he winds up telling you about his family, what he's doing for his father.

Bert looks up to you a lot. Always staying by your bedside when you got injured, kept a Band-Aid in his pocket for whenever you tripped during the training. (Or if he does. As gangly-limbed as that boy was, that happened often too.)

He knows but also doesn't about the significance of the warmer touches. It was probably one of those tidbits that was filed away for later and then forgotten. It doesn't matter when you're in bed injured and recovering from the heat damage he literally inflicted on you.

Super caring. Always having to talk both of you out of trouble when you wind up in it. But Bertholdt finds himself admiring that anyway, how different you are to him. (He's actually so thankful that you're a warrior with him, even if this was the worst way for it to happen.)

The other warriors clue in that you two are close but don't really comment on it. "Good for them" stance.

Bertholdt likes sitting next to you! Thighs brushing, his leg touching yours. Just small intimate moments that mean the world to him.

Then Marcel gets attacked and all Bertholdt can think about is 'thank god it wasn't you'. He'll stay wide awake watching you sleep at night, only nodding off when/if you let him sleep beside you, his palm on yours.

During training, Bertholdt finds a lot of comfort by sleeping next to you. Even if he ends up sprawled all over your body.

Thing is, Bertholdt doesn't really quite piece together the heat thing. Just knows that you're his, in some shape or form, that you're what's making this mission bearable. He doesn't miss Marley, he just misses you whenever you're not around.

Gets fidgety if you elect to join a different faction from him. But he understands. (But when you walk past him during the scouts enlistment, his hand catches yours for just a moment. Just for this. Because no matter what you mean to him, he wants you to stay.)

Fake dating trope because how else are you supposed to inform Bertholdt about the information you gathered while in the interior?

Everybody believes the ruse lmao

And, the thing with him is, there always feels like there's going to be more time. Sitting at tables, talking about your days. Reminiscing about Marley and campfires.. it's easy to think that you'll get those days back. That it's just another year, another season, another "one more time" before you get to go home.

For Bert, his feelings are... kind of a catch-all. Could be inferred as romantic or platonic. All he knows is that you're the most important person to him. He's just so glad that he gets to spend your thirteen years together.

And, when the mission goes wrong, when the attempts to kidnap Eren go awry and he has to pull your battered body from your titan, Bertholdt is right by your side, as he always is. There's always going to be another attempt, another chance. (Until there isn't.)

Bertholdt feels like home, his hand warm in yours. (He wants to keep coming back to you.)

Maybe those three simple words are whispered, right before it all goes to shit and you're captured/immobilized and Bertholdt grows desperate to get you back. Maybe you two never say them at all. But when it's just you two, the moments feel like they last forever.

(But you do. You know you have to talk about what this means for both of you, even if it meant defining your friendship in a different way. And he'll stutter and stumble over his words but listen intently, knowing that nothing is worth the cost of losing you. And he's secretly so relieved that you feel the same way, no matter what form your affection takes shape as.)

Bertholdt will cherish your friendship for as long as he lives.

PIECK FINGER

Whoo! Titan! Bes - ties!

Warrior trainees together, it totally sucked when you were passed over and Pieck inherited without you. She's pretty chill about everything, walking down the street with you while holding hands, throwing her arms around you constantly. Letting you ride atop her titan's back while she runs around the airfield.

Consider your relationship with her a mix of her squad and Porco

Legit you both are close before you even get a chance to inherit your titan, which you do! Eventually!

She's honestly not that great at explaining how titan shifting works or how to "focus" and "control" it but she'll help you get your bearings by walking around with you in titan form

Her body heat is like a heated blanket, warm and comfortable, ooey gooey melting cookie in your mouth kind of warm.

If you're ever on a long trek together, it's easy to doze off next to her, backs pressed together or her head in your lap.

Honestly she probably doesn't even think to mention how you feel to her, or acknowledge what it means. Pieck is happy with everything you are, how it feels with you.

actually tbh might comment about it everytime she springs a hug on you

"Incoming hug! Ahh... this is nice. you're so warm😊"

Your warmth is so comfortable to her. She's often nuzzling against you.

Honestly you guys would be borderline romantic, even if one/neither of you felt that way. It's just how you two are.

If you do cheek kisses, she'd be all up for that.

If you're romantically attracted to her, it'd be a seamless transition. Like you could invite her somewhere and mention it's a date and she'd just go "oh yay :)".

Otherwise at some point someone comments about how you two are always together on outings (calling them 'dates') and Pieck just goes "yes. :)" then later when it's just you two, "it really does feel like a date sometimes, doesn't it?"

Definitely respects it if you're not interested in her that way + just think of her as a sister or best friend. She won't change how she interacts with you at all (unless you mention that it makes you uncomfortable)

ANNIE LEONHARDT

A year (or a few) older than her, your family has warrior heritage; it’s a point of prestige and honour for you, moreso than for normal candidates. You have an expectation and responsibility to your ancestors to follow through. Of course you’d get a titan. Especially the one your family has meticulously trained for again and again; it’s not so much about the high esteem but keeping it in the family. Inheriting their memories. (For giggles, imagine it’s the attack or female titan.)

By the time Annie and the other warriors are partway through their training, you’ve all but confirmed your spot. It’s just a matter of establishing which one you’ll get.

You’re not exactly friends with Annie initially, especially with her aloof nature. But she’s companionable, sitting quietly if you ever approach her. Everything about her at the start is like that - withdrawn, solemn. Just as focused on her duty as you are. Either you find companionship over this fact or in spite of it - finding life worth living outside of being a candidate.

When you’re recovering from your inheritance, Annie is the one to tend to you. While you don’t remember a lot of it, amnesia getting the better of you, you’re almost certain that she was holding you.

Annie often watches as you continue your training, especially as a titan. She’ll gladly train in titan hand to hand combat with you once she inherits the female titan.

All the shifters are given books to learn about how to best utilize their titans. As they’re leafed through, it’ll mention the odd quirk of the shifters. Pieck is the most excited for this, followed by Reiner. It becomes a point of conversation, where everyone compares their temperatures - though Annie is quite reserved about the whole ordeal. She takes pity on Bertholdt who feels hot to her touch, though she does throw him under the ringer. You, though? She says not much at all, calling it quits at that point (if she hasn’t already).

She doesn't make a big deal of it at all, merely treating you like another candidate. One that she gets along with better than anyone else, at any rate.

In the group, you're dubbed "Annie's best friend". If Annie ever hears of this, you never know.

When it's time to leave for the wall, her knuckles brush against yours. The only indication that she's restless and has any qualms about what they're doing.

But as children honed for war, sometimes rivalries are hard to beat. Especially when the first tragedy strikes your group and Reiner takes the lead, leading you to wall. To mayhem. Murder is a different burden to bear, one that sits funny in your throat.

She sits with you at the refugee camps. While you've never seen her grab extra portions of food, she always seems to have some for you. She takes care of you (and you remember your first shift, how she had been the one to hold you).

Joining the Police is the only sane decision, the inner network so much like Marley. So much like home. You're relieved when Annie goes with you, even though you think it was for duty. (You never know if it was.)

Hitch gets added to the short list of Annie's friends. But nobody replaces you, nobody knows her as well as you do. You know each other's mood, the subtle raise of her brow or scrunch of her nose.

She takes her duty seriously - but she takes you seriously too.

You're the only comfort from home she has.

In the forest after she's hacked up by Levi, you're the one to grab her. To take her back, tending to her as she's cared for you so many times.

Unfortunately your close bond makes it easier to seek you out as a titan. Easier to goad you into advancing attacks, to defending her honour from horrors Armin promises she's enduring.

For you, Annie felt like home more than Marley ever had. Siblings, best friends, lovers. Whatever you felt for her, it was strong.

If you get a chance to see her chrystalized, you touch it desperately, trying to feel a sense of life inside. And you feel it, an echoing thrum beneath your hand.

She mentions it, later, when you two are alone on the ship. "I don't remember what you said, but I felt you." (She always has.)

And when you both go to fight Eren, fighting for something you want so desperately to keep now, you feel her knuckles brush against yours like they did so long ago. When you two were sworn to duty, marching to the walls. This time, you take her hand and never let go.

If you both survive this, she'll show you exactly how much you mean to her.

YMIR

100000% figured out you were a titan shifter because of this.

Her memories of the castle are hazy at best; initially she only remembers the heat and fog, the truth of Christa's real name.

While she knows quite a bit about her titan and its abilities, she doesn't know anything useful. The body heat memories? She knows it. Knows how her previous shifter learned about it, knows how he felt about his comrades.

She's hardly had reason to touch you before this, but like she figured out Reiner in the castle (they touched briefly) she also knows who you are. Knows the truth of your Marleyan roots.

Like Annie, you had been more distant from the group and more independent - you weren't as easily found out compared to them. At that point, it was only Ymir who really knew. Go, you. Clap yourself on the back for a job well done.

As well as you'd hide your identity, unfortunately the capture must take precedence. With Annie compromised, Reiner and Bertholdt outed, you have no choice but to pick up their slack.

Eren is fucking pissed that you're a titan and regardless of your involvement with the walls breaking, often voices his displeasure towards you loudly.

Ymir saw it coming so she takes it in stride and is dismissive towards you. You two really don't get a chance to speak, not until she's back in Marley and that's all that's left for her. Stone walls and iron bars, her complacency and feeling like a debt is owed is what keeps her there.

You sit with her most days, where she eventually opens up about the cadets. That's not to say you're best friends, but she's not dense enough not to take advantage of how you feel about her.

Listen, if you're not a woman, you stand no chance. If you are, she might confess her feelings towards Christa, how Christa helped her change as a person, how she felt like she could be herself.

How she could be herself around you, too.

While Ymir was never as buddy-buddy with you as she had been Christa, she had often roped you into being indebted to her, owing her favours one way or another.

She's back to her usual tirade even while imprisoned, using those unreturned favours to charter better meals or pen and papers. Most days you watch her write, rewrite, try to figure out what she wants to pen to Christa. Ultimately she writes her final draft with Reiner and leaves it in his possession.

Ymir is never quite hostile towards you, not when she learns of your service to your country, to the threat you thought Paradis posed. To the family and people you swore to protect. She understood it. Perhaps better than anyone bar Marcel.

You get a chance to touch her sometimes, changing the irons or giving her new clothes or meals.

There was a time when you were closer, as cadets. When she'd sling an arm over your shoulder, teasing about something or other. That's what it mostly was, her goading you into some tasks for her or taking the fall for things.

Back then, she used how you felt about her against you.

Unfortunately, facing death, she's mellow and more withdrawn. You don't learn much of anything during this time, not verbally anyway. But you learn about what kind of person she was, what role she had before.

And she asks for you to be there when she's eaten. Not directly, but something Reiner tells you later. When he's telling you that you've spoken more to her than she has, that she had tolerated your presence better, that you were the only Marleyan that she looked forward to seeing.

And when you go through her cell later, rifling through what meagre possessions she had, you find a letter addressed to you, hidden beneath leaflets of messy unfinished letters. Thanking you for not treating her as a monster, for not using Christa against her like Bertholdt had. That if she had a choice, she'd want you to inherit the jaw solely for your friendship with your fellow cadets and Christa.

She writes of other things too, little things she noticed about you, tips on how to get better at hiding or hitting. Advice on to living for yourself and not under the charade of the Marleyan government.

There's scrawled out ink, too, of things that she crossed out. She writes in that familiar, knowledgeable but closed off way that she does. In those sentences, under candle light, you can make out her thoughts on the heat exchange, moments from your cadet days. Once, what she would've done if you both had stayed on Paradis. Even a list of favours that she wanted to bank on, teasing remarks written in margins of paper and belittling comments that felt only praising coming from her.

Strange, how you only know her better in death, where you can no longer speak to her and hear the words left unsaid.

PORCO GALLIARD

the biggest baddest boldest guy who will LATCH ONTO YOU SO FAST MAN. I'm half joking

But he zeroes in the second your temperature spikes whenever you touch him. Turns his head towards you, gesture a little quick, eyes watching you, half-lidded. Aware, aware, aware of what this means

He's always always watching you after this, smirking softly to himself, just nodding along

You're so lucky he feels the same way because otherwise he'd just wrinkle his nose and turn his head away, "ew, you're hot" like the turd he is /affectionate.

Once he notices, Porco will always be hovering over you, in your personal space, raising his eyebrows and smirking when you turn around and bump into him. Gtfo Porco. Always casual about leaning against you, your arms brushing.

Porco doesn't really do cuddling but he'll be annoying about this, lightly touching. all. the. time.

Porco knows what it means. And if you don't say anything about it, he will. Just casually drops the fact about shifter body heat before shoving his hands and walking off casually. Leaving you guessing about his intentions.

Eventually it culminates in frustration because this smug mf won't tell you JACK.

Honestly you're going to have to confront him about this at some point unless one of the others point out the weird dance you two are doing.

(If you get frustrated with him enough that it affects your temp towards him, he'll knock it back so fast. Rubber banding it like a pro. He may be a dick but once it's clear he's making you uncomfortable he'll back off.)

Raises his eyebrows, leaning back. "You know what it means, don't you?" All smug. Leading into him talking about his own temperature, "Well, what do you think it means?" Literally makes you guess about how he feels about you. If you guess romantic, he'll lean his arm up against the wall, getting close to your face, eyes half-lidded. "Yeah."

Free boyfriend.

If you don't do teasing, he'll be more upfront. “You know what it means.” He's reciprocal so even if he didn’t romantically like you if you guess boyfriend, he’ll be like “yeah”.

Again, free boyfriend.

If you're strictly platonic, he'll do a little sigh, expression smoothing and go, “You're my best friend, dumbass.”

Free best friend.

Will become the bitchiest bitch to ever bitch if your temperature ever lowers.

Possessive possessive possessive. Competitive af. “Well, the other shifters don't feel hotter than I do, do they?" Glowers and sulks if anyone teases that your touch feels scorching hot to them.

Other than these instances, he actually NEVER mentions your temp or asks how you feel when he touches you. Would listen intently if you ever decide to describe in detail what his body temp feels to you.

Gets super smug if you mention it in front of the others.

EREN YEAGER

Sorry, there's no happy way this can end at all. :(

Eren straight up does not know about the heat thing until he inherits the attack titan's full memories.

But he's always kind of ... known in a way too. Every time your hands slap together or you pull each other out of danger, he feels it. The warmth lingering under your skin.

Grisha learned it during his studies with Zeke and Eren inherited that memory. Eren remembers then forgets in that same instant when he inherits his titan as a kid. So he knows, by pure instinct, that it's good. It feels right

He emotionally warms up to you more because of this.

Does not get touchy feely over this, although his hands often linger a little longer on you

There's two paths here. One where you're a Marleyan warrior and one where you inherit it after (jaw or in Shiganshina).

As a warrior, your betrayals burns worse than anything else. He's always suspected Reiner because of his cold+hot flashes but you? You who always burned like a star under his fingertips, who sent a wave of comfort through him?

It stings like nothing else has ever before.

It stings when he's in Marley, bandage to his face and leg, watching the people walk past.

He either waits for you purposefully or has Falco grab you a day/hours before the Marley exhibit. (Conveniently, this would be when Reiner is busy and he has an excuse to talk to Reiner later)

Or you come along with Reiner

It's such a small moment, in the end. His palm meeting yours, or your shoulders touching when you pass him by.

But it's a supernova, lit under his touch. And it settles the idea inside him that Marley and Paradis are the same, that there are people he cares for both in and outside the walls.

As a non-Marleyan, in the end, it doesn't change anything. He's still Eren and you're still you. Despite everything.

He's like a comet when he touches you later, after the rescue from Marley. Even when his knuckles are bruised from Armin's bones, when there's a fire in his eyes and death on his lips

But he's still Eren and you're still you.

And there's never enough time

(There's a memory that you only get later, after Everything. Where you sit together, toes on the beach, shoulder to shoulder. Where his skin is warmer than the sands. Where he tells you in what way he thinks about you. Where he asks you about yours and you answer. And you will remember this with a heat in your throat knowing that you'll never feel his touch again)

ARMIN ARLERT

I'm absolutely losing it just thinking about going to a sauna with Armin and after he finds out about the body heat thing he accidentally exclaims, "wait why'd you gET COLDER?" (if you do it's def because you went through the mental gymnastics of respecting his body and not getting thorsty)

He honestly didn't even realize there's a difference between normal people vs shifters because he actually hasn't touched the Warriors trio a lot prior to his shifting (so he has no baseline to compare it to). And Eren always ran hot

He really only clues in when he notices that your body temperate is a lot higher than normal and he freaks out a little, thinking you have a fever. Except everyone else assures him that no, you feel perfectly fine to them, what are you on about Armin??

Hange knows jack all about it; it's not a normal titan feature. Armin eventually has to ask Eren, Zeke or Annie about it directly

Gets flustered and comforted by the realization that you care so deeply for him. If you run crazy hot then it'll be like making him face his fear of fire (rip Armin)

If you don't know what the body temp means, he'll be all too glad to inform you! He won't ask you what temperature you feel his touches at BUT would be all too willing to test what influences the increase/decrease!

Turns super red if the experiments get a little too handsy and you both feel each other's temperatures spike

He's actually super touchy feely! Always reaching for you, giving you lingering hugs or brushing at your clothes/hair. He'll take your hand when its just you two, thumb stroking over the skin, basking in your warmth.

Will cuddle if you let him/ask him. Absolutely adores it. Always happy to indulge

If you're crushing on him, this is the thing that tips Armin off! He's so studious and acutely aware of each minute change so he notices when you get a little warmer, esp if you're reacting to him grabbing your arm or brushing something from your cheek

Probably noticed how you act around him too

If you're not crushing on him the it's just an awkward fiasco BECAUSE:

He confronts you about this. You're both just sitting down somewhere, him across from you, knees drawn up as you're talking or enjoying the silence. Eyes downcast as he brings up, "Do you have... feelings for me?" Voice soft, skin even hotter than his tomato red face. He takes your hands in his and looks up at you earnestly, "this is how I feel about you", letting you feel his emotions

In the case that Armin thinks of you strongly as a friend/ally only, he'll let you down gently. By directly referencing his newfound knowledge. Purposefully going "It's interesting that we can tell so much about the other person when you touch them like this" and he grabs your hand, looking right up into your eyes, smiling gently, "Like this. See? You'll always be my best friend" Emphasis on 'always' and 'best friend'. #friendzoned #ripyou

FALCO GRICE

Sunshine baby, baby boy, my literal son in another universe

He's always holding your hand. You're so cool! A warrior who trained with Reiner, he looks up to you immensely, although your term being close to being up stresses him TF out about Gabi

Listen, you're stuck with little brother Falco who always follows you around, tugging on your sleeve or running off on errands for you. Give him the time of day and you'll have a new dog. I mean child

If you're close to Reiner at all he'll latch on even harder. You're both his parental figures, although he gets so flustered if anyone mentions it.

He's deadset on inheriting the Armour but if you have the choice of who you can give yours to and you pick him, he's gonna cry.

He doesn't remember a lot about his first shift or the events surrounding it, except the smell of burnt flesh and fire in his arms. If you touch him at all when he immediately comes out of his titan, he'll dissolve into hysterics, crying without knowing why, because your touch reminds him immediately of the memory he's almost forgetting

Fortunately, he does forget

When you finally get to touch him after the amnesia period is over, Falco absolutely melts in your arms. Also immediately cries. Because he does know what this means, has studied this in his books, knows it from Porco's memories. Sobs and wails in your arms, feeling so secure and loved. Because you love him and you care for him. After everything he's been through, he needs this

Hugs you so, so tight every chance he gets, getting red-faced whenever Gabi teases him. Hovers by your side a lot, knowing everything will keep being okay so long as he can feel your warmth.

Always touching you, probably gets a little anxious when you leave him alone but eventually comes around.

For the kiddos out there who are crushing on my son, I raise a counter scenario. Just for you. You're now my child-in-law

Training together!! Yay!!

Your grades will vary, though you're definitely behind Gabi on the roster. Sorry, I do make the rules.

Falco excitedly told you about body heat when he read about it in a book!! You two excitedly try to figure out how you'd feel to each other.

Unfortunately, this is about the time he gets a crush on you. So Falco gets so flustered the next time you mention it to him and he ends up blurting that he hopes he never finds out what temperature you'd feel like to him.

Wants to protect you forever and ever, taking a similar route that he does with Gabi in canon.

You became shifters together! Terrible news!

Except when you're both pulled from the napes of your titans. When you have to ride with Connie, forgetting everything except the press of his hand in yours.

Falco may not remember the meaning behind the warmth but knows that it's good, that he can trust you.

Once his memories come back, avoids you to high heavens because he is so acutely aware of the flipside of this scenario. That you can feel how hot he burns because of his crush. He doesn't even think about what your hot touch means for him

You have to chase him down.

Keeps making excuses until you almost fight him trying to get him to settle.

He's definitely heartbroken if you tell him you only see him as a brother/best friend. Probably gets teary eyed and red-faced but accepts it before running off. He'll stop avoiding you after this.

Gets so red if you tell him you romantically like him too.

After the confession or when he's calmed down from the rejection, he comes back around. He's pretty constant at your side and will hold your hand if you let him, reassured by your warmth.

No matter what happens, at least you have each other.

552 notes · View notes

cioud-berries · 12 days ago

Text

The Autobiography of a Sinner || Chapter 2

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My favorite Reiner fic finally updated after months so I finally go the motivation to finish this chapter! I'm excited to write the next one now that we're getting into the main storyline! Idk if the next chapter will be big as these last two were.

Please join my discord!! discord.gg/SPNmyV8qJR

ty for the support!

Summery:

The retelling of events that led to The Rumbling and the aftermath from the perspective of someone who was a cause of it.

~ (written as an autobiography so "reader" is more like "writer".) The perils of being in love with your comrade. Going from childhood friends, to finding yourselves in a strange land completely alone, will cause anyone to grow close. After certain circumstances, they become more distant than they ever had been before. Being forced to come back together again to save the world would seem more challenging than either of them would think.

Category:

Reiner Braun x Gender Neutral Reader

Chapter Warnings:

War, Depictions of violence, child indoctrination

Word count: 10,904

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<- Previous Chapter || TAOAS Masterlist || Next Chapter ->

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843-845

To the People I have Killed in War:

I know most soldiers prefer to die with honor. Dying under my feet isn’t honorable. Dying in my mouth isn’t honorable. Dying by my claws isn’t honorable. I am sorry I couldn’t give you the honorable death you deserve.

↭

I listened to my doctor, taking the full two weeks off. Even though this caused me to be behind. Not physically of course, but after everything that had happened with Viktoria, then with Reiner. I needed that time.

I had hoped he would come to me, at night like he normally would, and apologize for the way he spoke. That was merely wishful thinking.

Unlike Reiner, Pieck visited me a few times, wanting to check up on me. We started to become closer friends due to this. She would come to catch me up on what I missed. Courses were only a small part of what we would discuss. A main talking point of our discussions was how different we felt, now having the ability to change at will. Even though we haven’t tested that ability yet.

It was the second time of her coming over, I was truly expecting the first time to be the last, so it was nice for her to knock at my door yet again. I would be lying if I said, I didn’t hope it would be Reiner when my father called for me.

She came in, filling me in on the lessons quickly. After she finished, things went quiet for a moment. “Reiner got the Armored Titan.” She explained shortly. She obviously didn’t know how I would react to this.

“Really?” I asked excitedly, already forgetting about his words towards me. I shot up from the couch rushing to the door, “I should go congratulate him!” Peick got up too, she obviously didn’t expect me to be so enthusiastic, but she was ready to go along with it.

I had only taken one step out of the door before I remembered the fight. I stood still, my feelings fighting one another. I was truly happy that he had gotten it. But I just couldn’t get over how he treated me.

Peick already seemed to know that the fight happened, but not the contents of it. “What happened between you two?” She asked softly, now walking to stand next to me. “Reiner had said you two had fought, but nothing else.” She seemed worried for me, already knowing how attached Reiner and I had been.

I sighed out of tiredness. “I had always been there for him. Always willing to lend an ear when he needed it.” I sat down on the steps, not wanting to go back inside. “I tried going to him when I needed it, but he yelled at me and told me to go away.” I put my chin on my knees, looking forward out into the streets.

She too sat down next to me, but didn’t say a word. I don’t think she knew what to say. I was so vague she had nothing to go off of. But I couldn’t explain more, I would be risking both of our families. “Did he at least seem remorseful when telling everyone?”

She sucked in air between her teeth and had a weird expression on her face, from that I could tell he wasn't. I looked away, but she quickly tried to reassure me. “The wounds of the fight are still fresh. He’ll understand soon enough.”

❃

I truly dreaded going back. Not for the classes, nor training, but because of Reiner. It had been so long, in the eyes of a child. But I had no way of knowing how he would react. If he hadn’t gotten the power of the Armor titan, it would’ve been easier. If I wanted to, I could never have to see him again.

I went into class early, wanting to talk to my commander about all I missed. I knew Peick had already caught me up on most of it, but I wanted the military to see that I was willing to work hard for the position I had been given.

Peick, surprisingly, was the first person- besides me- to show up. I had chosen a seat against the wall, encouraging her to sit next to me. I didn’t want to be anywhere near Reiner. The two weeks gave me time to stew in the feeling of loneliness, which only made my anger towards Reiner grow.

A few more of my comrades filtered in. Marcel, followed by Annie. When Marcel noticed that I was there, he smiled and welcomed me back. Annie, on the other hand, said nothing, seemingly ignoring my presence.

Even though I knew it was inevitable, Reiner finally arrived. When he walked into the room, his eyes immediately locked onto mine. He wore his big goofy smile, acting like nothing had happened at all.

Lifting his arm, he pointed at his now red armband. “Look! I did it!” he happily told me.

Dramatically, I turned my head away from him. Not wanting to give him any attention. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I knew that he was pouting. “Aren’t you proud of me?” His tone held deep sorrow.

Even though I was upset at him, of course I was proud of him. The dreams we had been working so hard for, together, had been achieved. I couldn’t tell where our friendship stood though.

I couldn’t tell him that I was proud. I refused to give him that satisfaction. I turned back to him, seeing the saddest, heartbroken expression I had ever seen on someone. I opened my mouth to say something. I don’t even know what I was about to say. Our teacher walked into the room, cutting all conversations off.

“Good morning. Today we will be discussing transformation.” The man said. Reiner scurried to a seat, knowing he’d be in trouble if he interrupted.

The seat he found just so happened to be behind me. I was uncomfortable the whole lecture as I felt his eyes on me the whole time.

When it was time for lunch, I got out of the room as quickly as possible. I made my way to the spot where I had seen Viktoria staring into the sun. It had become my hiding spot away from the military, and that day I was using it to hide from Reiner.

When I arrived behind the building, I spotted the crate that Viktoria would sit on. I did the same as she would. I climbed onto the crate, back facing the wall. I then looked into the sky, watching the sun.

It was weird at first. This was the first time I had ever used my regenerative abilities. I thought that all the pain would’ve disappeared, but it felt as painful as it would without the power of the ten.

I wanted to look away as it began to hurt. It was my instincts. But I pushed myself to keep looking, trying to see what she saw, trying to figure out why she did it.

I know I was doing it to feel closer to her. To pretend as if she was still here. Pretend that she would walk around the corner and cover my eyes, telling me that I shouldn’t do something so stupid.

Deep down I knew she was gone. My eyes began to hurt more as the tears began to build up behind them. I wish Viktoria was there to wipe them away like she had always done.

Instead, I was interrupted by none other than Reiner. “What are you doing?” He asked, seemingly worried.

I don’t know how I didn’t notice him sooner. I snapped my eyes away from the sun onto him. There was a black blob that blocked my vision, making it very hard to see him. I could feel my cells repairing itself as my vision began to come back.

“Nothing.” Was all I said to him. My tone was harsh and standoff-ish. Things went silent. I decided to look back up at the sun, preferring it over the sight of Reiner.

“Hey don’t do that!” He said in a panicked tone, moving in front of me to block me from the sun.

“Why not?” I glared in the general direction of his face, not being able to see the details of it. “It’s not like it’ll cause any damage.”

His frame wavered. Seemingly forgetting that we now can heal ourselves. He then went silent again. Everything about this was awkward, and I was hoping it would cause him to leave.

My vision was completely repaired by the time he spoke again. And I was glaring into his soul. “What happened?” He whispered softly.

Frowning, my brows knit together. I pushed him away from me, not being able to handle being in his presence. With everything going on. All of the emotions of that night were coming back and I was not about to have him see that. “Don’t pretend like you did nothing.” I mumbled as I got off the crate, walking past him.

“I don’t understand! Tell me what I did!” Reiner basically cried out.

He began to follow me as I attempted to get away. My rage was at its boiling point. I snapped around, and shouted as loudly as I could “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

It stunned him. He froze as he looked completely shocked. I had never talked to him, or anyone, like that. I took his confusion as a chance to get away.

Turning the other way, I ran until I was out of his view. As I began to slow down, I realized how tired I was. I thought it was from all of the emotions I had dealt with in a short amount of time.

I slowly made my way back to class, the fatigue beginning to take over. When I arrived back at the classroom, Peick was already in her seat. She looked over at me with a smile.

“How did the conversation with Reiner go?” She asked. I looked at her confused, not understanding how she knew. I made my way to my seat when she saw my confused face. “I overheard Reiner tell Bertolt that he was going to try to talk to you.”

Now understanding, I responded. “I yelled at him to go away.” I sat down in the chair next to her. I crossed my arms on my desk laying my head down on them as I stared at her.

“You’re never going to make up if you don’t talk to each other.” She tilted her head down towards mine to see me better. I knew she was right, but part of me wanted to disagree.

“What if I don’t want to make up.” I mumbled, looking away from her.

“I know you do.” She stated matter of factly. Yet again, she was right and I still didn’t want to admit it.

I refused to answer her, which gave her the answer she was looking for. I looked back at her, even though I had nothing to say. Her face turned to concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired is all.” my face also contorted in concern noticing her. “Why?”

“You look sickly.” She started to stand up, motioning for me to follow. “We have some time. We should go see the clinician.”

I got up to follow her. “I’m fine really! I’m just a bit tired.” I was complaining the whole way, but I still followed her as we walked down the hall.

We made it to the clinic, and the nurse began to look over me. As she did so, she asked me questions about what I was doing. I told her how I looked into the sun and my eyes fixed itself. She then asked me which titan I had inherited. When I told her, she immediately stopped, backing away from me.

“Your stamina is too low.” She told me. Even though she was trying to help me, I took it as an insult. “The Feline Titan requires a lot of stamina from its holder. Since it naturally has a low amount of stamina, small things such as healing your eyes, will take a lot out of you.”

I nodded my head, still upset at what I was being told. She dismissed us, saying I would be fine to go back to class. On my way out, she told me to get a good amount of sleep tonight.

When we arrived back at class, everyone was already there. Reiner still sat in the spot behind me, but he kept his head low, not looking at me. Even though it was what I wanted, it hurt me. I started to regret my harsh words to him.

Zeke entered the room alongside our teacher. He was there to explain transformation in more detail, as our professor could never experience such a thing. They mentioned how we would be performing our first transformation in a week's time.

Though they talk a lot, I couldn’t help but doze off. I could barely keep my eyes open. By the time we were dismissed, I was on the verge of sleep. Luckily no one other than Peick noticed, or I would’ve been in trouble.

She was the one to walk me home, making sure that I got there safely. The second I entered my home, I made my way to my room. I fell asleep the second I hit the bed.

I awoke to my sister knocking at my door telling me dinner was ready. I was groggy but I felt better. Dinner was mostly silent aside from my dad asking what I had done today. I left out everything with Reiner and what the nurse said. If I had told him that I needed to work on my stamina, he would’ve forced me to spend all my free time working out.

After I excused myself from the table I went to my room. Not having anything else to do so late at night, I began to work on my stamina myself, doing any kind of exercise I possibly could in my room.

Push ups, curl ups, planking, I did everything until I couldn’t move anymore. I had lost track of the time as I laid flat on my stomach on the floor, thinking I could do one more push up. I stayed like that for a while, not knowing how much time had passed.

The only thing that snapped me out of my trance was the sound of something hitting my window. I jumped up and ran to it. For some reason I thought it was Viktoria, even though I knew she was dead.

I frowned when I pushed my curtains aside to see Reiner at my window. Reluctantly I opened the window, planning on yelling at him to go away yet again.

“Why are you here?” I aggressively asked, keeping my hands on the rim of the window, ready to close it any second.

“I had to talk to you.” He kept quiet, not wanting to get caught. He inched closer to the window. “I don’t like not being friends with you.”

“Do you remember why I’m mad at you now?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow at him.

“No,” He put his fingers on the rim of the window, about to force his way in. “But I can’t figure it out unless you tell me. So I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

I saw him grip the inner edge of my window, as he pushed himself up. I quickly slammed the window on his finger. I felt, and heard, a crack. Reiner yelped in pain as he pulled his hand back, pulling them close to his chest as he tumbled back onto the alleyway ground.

I opened the window again, leaning out of it. I was not expecting to hurt him so bad, but that's what he gets.

“You broke my fingers!” He shouted at me in pain, no longer worrying about being heard. It didn’t take long for steam to emerge from the skin of his fingers.

“They’ll fix themselves soon.” I rested my arms on the edge. “Don’t try to break into my house.”

He walked over to the window again, looking up at me. “Let me in.” He demanded.

“No.” I simply told him.

“Please.” He asked another time.

“No.” I repeated.

“Please. Please. Please. Please…” He repeated over and over again. He was determined to get me to talk to him.

“Why should I?” I have been very clear on my intentions to unfriend him, but yet he persisted.

“Because we’re best friends.” He was so absolute about his answer it shocked me. Even though I was giving him the same treatment he gave me, yet he wanted to try and fix the issue. He was stronger than me in that way.

“What if I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.” I hoped he would leave after that heartbreaking line.

His determination only wavered slightly. “Then tell me why.” He stared me directly in the eyes. “And then let me explain myself. If you still don’t want to be friends after. Then I’ll leave you alone.”

I thought for a moment. It was pretty hard to deny him, especially when he was looking at me like that. Plus, I could just say I don’t want to be friends after, and then I’d be free. It was truly a win-win.

I took a step back to let him in. With his still broken finger, he struggled to get through the window. He fell to the floor of my room with a loud thud, quite the opposite of Viktoria.

“Be quiet!” I quietly yelled at him. “My family will hear.”

“Sorry!” He whispered back.

I held my hand out to him, telling him to stop all movements. I don’t know how I knew, but I could tell my father was already making his way to my room.

I quickly motioned for Reiner to get into the closet. He followed my orders as I rushed to my door. I stood right in front of the door so my father would have no reason to look around.

He swung the door open, looking at me curiously. “I heard a bang.” He loomed over me, trying to get answers out of me. It was always hard for me to lie directly to him.

I played with my hands behind my back, not wanting him to see my anxiety. “I was training and I fell.”

He still didn’t believe my story, taking a step closer to me. “I also heard some yelling.”

“Oh yeah.” I tried to think of something quickly. “I think some kids were fighting in the alley.”

He looked past me to my open window. He walked over towards it, looking out of it. “If you think there’s people fighting in the alley, don’t leave your window open.” He scolded as he closed it and locked it. I quickly moved in front of my closet, trying to protect it but not seem suspicious.

“I know how to protect the family from an intruder.” I smiled slightly, thinking of how I protected the house from Reiner.

“You’d kill us too if you transformed right now.” He said, rubbing the top of my head. Walking past me, he headed for the door. I followed.

“I can do it without the power!” I protested. “I’m still a soldier.”

He smiled softly down at me. “You still have a long way to go.”

“But I’m doing better than most! I got the power of one of the ten!” Now it became more of me trying to prove myself to my dad. I completely forgot about Reiner in my closet at this point.

“Now you have to become the best out of the ten.” He told me with finality, closing the door on me.

I frowned at the closed door. I knew he was proud of me for getting this far, but I felt the dreaded weight of not being enough. He seemed to be softer with me now, but the expectations always loomed over that.

I felt like if I did anything wrong, this new persona of his would be ripped away in a second. The thought of doing something wrong drew my attention back to my closet. If my father had found Reiner in the closet, I don’t know what he would’ve done.

Walking to the door, I opened it. Whispering, I told Reiner. “You have ten minutes.” I had a new wave of anger thinking of my father not being proud of me.

“What did I do?” He asked.

“You pushed me away when I needed you most.” I said plainly.

Reiner sat there in thought for a moment, still in my closet. It seemed like he was trying to remember exactly what I was talking about, which made my anger with him grow.

His eyes widened in realization as he looked up at me. “When you came to my window?” He asked for clarification.

I only nodded my head in response. He stood up, trying to get closer to me. I backed away from him. “I was going to come and talk to you.” He tried to plead with me, still stepping closer.

“Why didn’t you then?” I continued to ask questions, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to keep him out.

“I was chosen to inherit The Armored Titan. Everything after that happened really quickly.” He waved his arms around as he tried to explain, trying to show his genuineness. “My memory of the days before that became foggy.”

I thought for a moment. I knew it was normal to forget things after transforming, even though I barely experienced much of it. But that still didn’t answer all of my questions. “Why didn’t you visit me while I was in the hospital? Or even after?”

“I was told I was not allowed to.” He said plainly.

Looking confused at him, I asked. “Who said that?” It was strange that Pieck was allowed to, but not Reiner.

“I went to visit you in the hospital and your doctor said you weren’t taking visitors at the time.” He began to ramble. “And then I mentioned visiting you in front of our professor and he said we weren’t allowed to visit you as you recovered.”

I was still confused as to why Pieck came to see me then. “Pieck visited me in the hospital and at home.” I told him.

“Well I don’t know then!” He raised his arms in defeat. “That is just what I was told.” He paused for a moment, walking close enough to me to grab my arms and pull them away from my chest. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m sorry for ignoring you that night. What did you have to say?”

I pulled my arms out of his grasp, turning around. “That doesn’t matter now.” I didn’t want to open up to him like that anymore.

He walked around me, trying to get a look at my face. “It does if you’re still mad at me.” I continued to spin around, trying to avoid him. He walked around me until he got fed up, grabbing my shoulders to get me to look at him. “We’re friends, remember? I can be here for you now. So tell me what’s wrong”

It was funny that he already knew that I would forgive him. The soft smile he had on his face while looking at me, made me break. All of the emotions of that night resurfaced as tears began to stream down my face.

“Viktora was like a mother to me.” I said in a sob. Reiner stayed still, giving me a sad look. “She didn’t deserve to be eaten.” The amount of saliva in my mouth doubled as my nose became runny.

Reiner pulled me in for a hug, just as I had done with him the first time he came knocking at my window. I didn’t have to explain anything else to him as he soothed me.

Even though I told him ten minutes, I believe he stayed for a few hours as I uncontrollably cried in his arms. He didn’t make one complaint, which made up for him ignoring me.

I don’t even remember him leaving. I woke up curled in a ball in the middle of my bed and a blanket lazily thrown over me.

Before heading to training, I made sure to stop by Victoria's house to feed the cats. I was told I had a week to clear out her belongings before the government took the building back. I only filled up a box full of small sentimental items. Such as, the note she left me, some jewelry that was in a small box, and the cardigan she would always wear. Aside from that, I could care less about everything.

I didn’t want to walk back into the house, but after clearing things up with Reiner, I felt better. The cats meowed at me angrily as I hadn’t fed them in a few days. They were more than fed well enough by the neighbors, but they knew that I would feed them more if I was coming around. I grabbed some of the cat food that was in a crate on the side of her house.

Using the cup that had been left in the bag, I scooped out enough food for all of the cats, putting it on the ground. They all scrambled to the food, beginning to feast.

When I made my way to the classroom, Reiner and I greeted one another like nothing had happened. Everyone saw the display I had shown him yesterday and seemed shocked by the sudden change. But no one questioned a thing.

As I sat next to him, our drill sergeant walked in. He told us that we would start that day with physical training and we needed to change.

❃

A week had passed by so quickly. I anxiously sat in the blimp as they flew us to a location far away from Liberio. This was the first time I had ever left the town, let alone been in a blimp.

I held my eyes shut as hard as I could, gripping onto my straps.

They were taking us to a remote location to practice transforming for the first time. They did this to make sure we wouldn’t cause any casualties in the compact town.

I whimpered as I felt us descending. I liked nothing about flying. The feeling of hitting the ground was rough, but it meant that we were finally safe.

Even though I knew we were on the ground, I still kept my eyes closed, not moving an inch. I heard my fellow comrades begin to unbuckle their straps, and I still didn’t move.

Theo Magath, our commander, started instructing everyone to line up and prepare to exit the blimp. That was when Reiner noticed that I still hadn’t moved.

“You have to get up,” Reiner whispered to me “Before he notices you.”

With Reiner’s words, I finally opened my eyes. The room was dark, aside from a small red light that stood high up on the wall. I quickly, but quietly unfastened my restraints. Grabbing my bag, throwing it on my back, I lined up behind Reiner.

Right as I stepped behind him, the metal door began to open. The bright light was blinding to us all. We groaned and covered our eyes, trying to protect them from the sun.

Commander Magath spoke up again. “These next few weeks will be tiring. You will be expected to push yourselves to your limits.” We all responded in unison with a “Yes Sir.”

In line, we exited the blimp. We were in a large field. On the other side was a small log cabin. Magath then told us to run to the cabin, threatening that the last person would not be receiving dinner.

Without another word, Marcel began bolting to the cabin. Everyone else followed behind. I didn’t even think to look back as I ran. I knew that my abilities would wear me out quickly, but I needed that food more than anyone else.

By the time I made it to the cabin, I was fourth to arrive, assuring my dinner. When I turned around, I found Reiner falling behind. I gave him a sympathetic look as he arrived last.

The door to the cabin opened, revealing Zeke Yeager . He seemingly arrived before us. Since he had already mastered his transformation, he would be the one helping us.

I did not know what to expect of our sleeping arrangements, but I didn’t expect for all of us to be sleeping together in one big room. We all had our sleeping bags laid out on the floor. There was barely any floor space.

The room was plain. There was only one door, aside from the front door. And it led to a bathroom. There was only one small shower that all seven of us would have to share the upcoming weeks.

As we waited for further instruction, we all sat on our sleeping bags talking. “Where is commander Magath staying?” Bertolt asked.

“Him and the others are staying across the field.” Zeke replied plainly.

“I bet their accommodations are much better than ours.” Annie commented.

“Of course they do. They’re our higher ups.” Reiner defended them.

“It would’ve been nice if we at least got one more bathroom.” Peick complained. I nodded along in agreement.

“If you’re so upset about it, you can just use the woods and the river near here.” Zeke shut our conversation down, not wanting us to say anything that could be considered treason.

Things went silent until Marcel spoke up. “What does transforming feel like?”

Zeke went silent for a moment, seemingly in deep thought. The only way he was able to describe it was “Power.” The word sent a shiver down my spine.

I looked over to Reiner, who had settled his sleeping bag next to mine. He looked at Zeke with a shimmer in his eyes. I could tell he was excited to have this opportunity, and I know he worked harder than everyone else to get here.

“I’m worried I’m going to hurt someone when I transform.” I admitted, bringing my knees to my chest and hugging them. The images of Viktoria’s first transformation flashed in my mind.

“I will be transformed, so I will stop that from happening.” Zeke replied.

“I’m super excited!” Reiner chimed in. I glared at him slightly. He just brushed over my very valid concern.

Commander Magath burst through the door. We all immediately stood to attention. He had all of us stand outside before beginning our training.

❃

Our training over the weeks was grueling. We would be pushing our limits before the sun rose until long after it set. The food was the worst. It was basically slop. But we all were too hungry to care. Shoveling it in our mouths, we treated it like it was the best meal we have ever had.

I didn’t mind sleeping on the ground as much as I thought I would. The only thing that annoyed me was Reiner waking me up. Bertolt slept on the other side of him. Throughout the night, Bertolt would sprawl out, getting into Reiners space, waking him up. Reiner would push him away, loudly telling him off at the same time.

This too woke me up. It was a routine that would happen at least once a night. One night, it happened over and over again. I’d be on the verge of sleep and Reiner’s complaining would wake me up. By the third time it had happened, I got up, taking my sleeping bag with me.

Carefully, I stepped over everyone’s sleeping body. I left the cabin, deciding to sleep outside under the stars. That night was the best sleep I had the whole trip. But I got bitten a lot by bugs. So I slept inside for the rest of the time, dealing with Reiner and Bertolt.

After a while, Reiner got used to Bertolt’s strange sleeping habits, being able to sleep through them, letting me rest peacefully.

By the end of our second week, it was finally time for us to transform for the first time. We were all told to stand in the woodline with Magath.

First to transform was Zeke. He stood in the middle of the field. After a short amount of time, a red lightning bolt came from the sky, striking down on him. In a blink of an eye a large creature emerged. A gust of wind soon followed, almost blowing us all away.

The sight of him was unsettling. It was the first time I witnessed one of the ten with my own eyes. I had the instinct to run when it started to walk towards us. The closer it got, the more details I saw. I wanted to throw up. But I knew I couldn’t move, or I’d be in trouble.

Zeke finally stood close enough to us. He kneeled down, extending his hand out to show a knife that seemed so tiny in his hand. Magath turned to us. “You’re up first, Leonhart.” He commanded.

Annie walked up to Zeke’s hand, climbing onto it to grab the knife. While Annie was in his hand, Zeke stood up. I watched her fallback from the unstable surface.

He carried her to the middle of the field, placing her back down. After she got off, he stepped back. There were a few minutes of nothing. Suddenly, a lightning bolt, just like what happened with Zeke.

Annie looked closer to a human than Zeke’s. But it still was unnerving. Her head looked around. She looked lost until her eyes locked on our group. In a moment’s notice, she began darting at us.

I grabbed Reiner’s arm out of fear. He stood still. Zeke tackled her to the ground. The ground rumbled. The sound of her crashing down sounded like a bomb.

Annie let out a terrifying shriek, trying to get out of his grasp. He grabbed the back of her titan’s neck, ripping a chunk out. The titan body began to rise in steam, quickly decaying.

The doctors began to run out from other places in the tree line. All going to Zeke, who was gently placing the chunk of flesh down. Magath followed along as well, going to see how Annie was doing. We all looked at each other in horror. All except Reiner of course. None of us dared to say a word, scared of speaking what we saw into existence.

They carried Annie off on a stretcher. I thought Magath would cancel the rest of our transformations. Yet he came up to us like nothing happened. “Braun. You’re up next.”

It was for the best that he chose Reiner. Everyone else was too scared. He happily made his way to Zeke, a little too excited for this.

Just like Annie, Zeke took Reiner out to the middle of the field. We waited for some time. Then some more. At one point we started looking at each other, wondering what was happening.

Zeke finally moved back to where Reiner was dropped off. He held his hand out. Reiner obviously said something, because Zeke told him. “It’s not going to work.”

A few minutes later, Zeke was walking back. When Reiner got off of Zeke’s hand, I could see all of the cuts Reiner inflicted on himself. Steam emerged from them, blood still dropped down his body. A doctor was slowly making his way over to the group.

Reiner looked devastated. When he stood next to me I whispered to him. “It’s okay, you’ll get it soon!” He turned to me with an angry face. Before he responded, he just nodded his head, looking back down at his healing wounds.

Magath Called out my name. I looked over to him. “It’s your turn.” I hesitated, looking up at Zeke. Magath called my name again, a bit angrier than before.

I dragged my feet over to the giant hand that laid before us. Reluctantly, I touched it, beginning to climb. It was a lot warmer than I had expected.

When I got to the top, there was a knife in the middle of its palm. The same one Annie and Reiner had used. I grabbed it and sat down. Zeke began to move. With my free hand, I braced myself, trying not to fall over from the dramatic movements.

It only took a few seconds to reach the middle of the field. On the way down, I felt as though I was going to fly off. I made sure to dismount Zeke’s hand as quickly as possible.

I held the knife close to my chest as Zeke began to walk away. I knew what I needed to do, but I was too scared to do it. I saw my reflection in the knife. Even the blood that Annie and Reiner had coated it in was gone.

With a deep breath I gripped the blade in my hand and closed my eyes. But I didn’t move from there. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. A defeated sigh left my lips as I went back to looking at the blade.

I put my pointer finger on the tip of the blade. I pushed my finger into the blade. It hurt, but I knew it wasn’t as bad as slicing my hand. I saw my blood come out around the tip of the blade.

Even though I was bleeding, I hadn’t transformed. I looked up to Zeke’s horrid titan form. I remember hoping that I didn’t look like that. Then everything turned black.

❃

I woke up in the makeshift clinic, confused. The nurse immediately got up from their desk and made sure I was fine.

They explained to me that when I turned, I immediately began attacking Zeke. They said that he struggled for a bit to get me off. I blinded him, going straight for his face. In the end, Zeke obviously prevailed, removing me from my titan.

After the nurse made sure everything was alright, they let me go. When I left the building, I realized the sun was setting. I looked around and saw that I was on the opposite side of the field. Instead of walking I decided to push myself, trying my hardest to get across the field faster than I had earlier in the week.

As I ran, I began to notice things. I was more in tune with my body movements. How my foot was hitting the ground, I even noticed a small mouse that was running away from me. It was weird, I was hyperfocusing on everything at the same time.

I reached the cabin in no time. I was out of breath, but I still opened the cabin door. Everyone was spaced out doing different things. Zeke and Reiner were missing.

I looked over to Pieck, who noticed that I had entered the cabin. “Where’s Reiner?”

Peick went to respond but Bertolt, who was playing cards with Annie, chimed in before she could. “He’s sulking by the river.”

“Could he still not transform after everyone else went?” I questioned, thinking that they would’ve let him try another time before calling it quits.

Pieck solemnly shook her head. I nodded in response, as a thank you, before leaving the cabin. I made my way to the river that sat not too far behind the cabin.

It didn’t take long for me to see Reiner’s blonde hair. He sat at the edge of the water. Knees curled up to his chest, he stared into the running water.

I moved to sit next to him. He didn’t move or say a word. We both looked into the water silently. I didn’t want to push him, so I let him speak first. “Why are you so gifted?” He asked, turning to me.

I laughed, before realizing that he was serious. “I’m not gifted.” I replied seriously.

“Yes you are.” He moved his chin back in between his knees. “You weren’t a last minute pick to become a titan shifter.”

“Neither were you.” I told him sincerely, moving my body to face him.

“Yes I was.” He responded sadly.

“No you weren’t!” I told him with a bit more authority. “You want to know how I know?” He finally looked back over at me, I can tell on his face that he wasn’t going to be amused by my answer. “When I went through the ceremony to inherit the Feline titan, I panicked.” I paused remembering that I killed Viktoria. Swallowing my sadness I continued. “One of the officers said that they should’ve picked you for the position.” I told him sincerely. “I was only able to proceed because Viktoria was able to calm me down.”

“Yeah but they still picked you over me for the position.” He huffed, looking back at the water.

“But they still picked you for the Armored position.” I replied, “Meaning you were thought of for two different titans!”

He didn’t respond to me. I tried to think of something else to say. “I think you’re more gifted than me.” I admitted sadly.

He yet again looked over at me. “How so.”

“You’re more determined than I could ever be.” Now it was my turn to start sulking. “I mean earlier today you came back with so many cuts. You were trying so hard to transform. When it came down to it. I hesitated. I could only prick my finger.

“You still were able to transform though.” He seemed to be getting fed up with the conversation.

“But that’s what I'm trying to say!” I expressed, scooting closer to him. “I know you’ll be able to do it soon. Because you’re so determined to do so. And I know that you’ll be better than everyone when you get it down!”

I finally seemed to get through to him as he softly smiled at me. “When will be the next chance you get?” I asked, curious.

“Tomorrow.” He responded. He looked back out to the water, but this time it wasn’t out of sadness. “They’re taking Bertolt and I somewhere else to do it.”

I tilted my head in confusion. “Bertolt couldn’t transform either?”

Reiner shook his head. “They didn’t let him. It apparently was dangerous to do so. So they’re having to take him far away so he won't hurt anyone.”

I hummed in response. A calm silence fell between us. Out of curiosity I asked “How badly did I mess up Zeke’s face?”

Reiner laughed at the thought. “Pretty bad.” He responded “It was like watching a feral street cat fight over food.”

“I looked like a cat?” I asked out of curiosity, not knowing what I looked like in that state.

“Oh god no.” He laughed again. “You looked horrible. Like a mix of a leopard and a rat”

I pushed him over. “I know you’ll look worse.” I said back to him.

“I highly doubt it!” He retorted, getting up, pushing me back. “Watch! I’ll be the best looking titan.”

“Nu uh!” I pushed him again. Even though it sounded like we were fighting, we had smiles plastered on our faces, and we were giggling between words.

“Maybe that’s why I haven’t transformed yet.” He cockily ran his hand through his hair. “My titan is too gorgeous to be looked upon.”

“Oh please!” I said, pushing him into the water. He was quick to grab my wrist, pulling me down with him.

We fell into the water giggling. It took a few minutes for us to catch our breath. Reiner got out of the water first, extending his hand to me. “We should head back. Dinner should be ready soon.”

I grabbed his hand as he pulled me out of the water. “I’m so hungry.” I complained as we began to head into the trees.

“I miss my mom’s cooking.” He added on.

We walked deeper into the forest. Even though I knew it was supposed to be dark, I could still see everything clearly, almost as if it were day, but everything was in a strange, different hue.

When we got back to the cabin, we were scolded by Zeke for being soaking wet. But we couldn’t care less. We were just happy to be together.

It was nice. It was the first time in a while that Reiner and I had fun together, without the looming of final selection hanging over us. I wish our lives could’ve stayed like that forever.

❃

The next day, Riner and Bertolt left before the rest of us woke up. As for the rest of us, we met with a specialist team. It was a team of two to three Marlenas that had studied the abilities of the ten’s abilities over multiple generations of use.

My specialty team was newer though. Since they only had old books of the feline titan over a century ago, and Viktoria. “Your abilities are more unknown.” The woman in the middle explained to me. “Which means you will also be helping us, telling us all that you have experienced that seems out of the norm.”

“The abilities that Viktoria had were: Nightvision, keen sense of surroundings, silent movements, heightened smell, and flexibility.” The man on the right stated.

“But we don’t know if some of those abilities are going to transfer over. We don’t even know if they were even caused by the titan, or if those were talents she was born with.” The woman on the left added.

The middle one nodded, bringing it back together. “Is there anything you’ve noticed different since your transformation?”

I sat in silence for a moment, trying to think of anything. “I definitely have been sensing things that I would’ve looked over. And I think I’m gaining the night vision ability, but aside from that, I haven’t noticed anything else.”

The next thing they had me do was transform. I was told that I would be in control this time, but I worried that I would lose control again, attacking the team.

They handed me a knife before stepping away. They all had clipboards, ready to start examining me. Again, I fearfully looked at the knife. I looked up at the team for reassurance. The woman in the middle nodded, telling me to go ahead.

I still didn’t have the strength to create a big gash to transform, so I stuck with the small cut. I took a deep breath before pricking my finger.

Just like they said, I didn’t black out. I could feel my body become enveloped in warmth. I couldn’t see for a few seconds, but when I opened my eyes once again, I was high up in the air. I could tell I was about the size of the cabin.

My body didn’t feel like my body. Well it definitely was no longer my body, but it still felt extremely strange. I tried to step back, but it felt even stranger.

Unlike most of the other titan shifters, I was walking on four legs. I knew that felt most right. When I looked down at my hands, they were closer to paw’s than human feet, but they didn’t exactly look like paws either. They were completely covered in white fur with black spots. When I tried to flex them, long black nails came out from under my skin. It didn’t hurt, but the feeling was strange. I became fascinated by it, retracting and protracting them while I watched.

The team walked back up to me once they were finished scribbling on their notepads. “Could you try climbing that tree?” They pointed at the thickets, the tallest tree in the area.

Mentally, I responded with a “Yes sir.” but the only thing that came out was a small roar. I was a bit taken aback by it. I walked over to the tree. My feet were unsynchronized, not used to having more than two feet to worry about.

After a bit too long, I arrived at the base of the tree. I had no idea how I would climb the tree. I attempted to stand on my back feet. I quickly lost balance, falling forward, face first into the tree. I gripped the tree with my claws to try and lessen the blow.

Once I regained my balance, I moved my front legs up the tree, still leaning the upper part of my body on the tree. I dug my claws into the wood, it was an uncomfortable feeling.

When I felt my claws were deep enough, I used the force of my back legs to jump up, putting my back feet on the tree. Instinctually I equipped my lower claws, perching myself on the tree.

Now that I was on the tree, I couldn’t figure out what to do next. I looked down at the team below, trying to figure out what I should do next.

“Try doing that again, now that you’re on the tree.” One of them shouted up to me. I looked up, trying to figure out how I was supposed to do that with no ground below me. I hesitated heavily. “Maybe try going faster this time!”

With that, I tried not thinking about it, hoping instincts would take over. That sadly wasn’t the case. My claws retracted once I jumped up, causing me to not grip onto the tree. My back feet couldn’t catch onto anything to save me, so I began to fall to the ground.

Although, my instincts kicked in before I hit the ground. In less than a second, I twisted my body around so my stomach was parallel to the ground. I kicked my back legs. They hit the tree, launching me forward and away from me landing on my team. I safely landed on the ground. When I turned back to my team, they said nothing, still scribbling their notes down.

They had me repeatedly try. Until I could reach the top of the tree. By the end of the day, they had me practice jumping from tree to tree. They said that I would be most useful in situations where I had things to jump off of.

When I was done for the day, I emerged from my titan form. Everything was hazy, and it felt weird to be in my normal body again. It took me a while to get the strength to fully get myself out of the flesh that protected my body.

By the time I arrived back at camp, Riner and Bertolt had returned. I immediately ran up to Reiner. My eyes held the question I wished to ask him. He smiled back at me, proud of himself. “I was able to do it.”

“I knew you could!” I happily shouted, hugging him. He tensed up in my arms, not hugging me back. I realized that this was the first time that we hugged where one of us wasn’t crying. I immediately let go, thinking he wasn’t enjoying it.

He then asked me how my training went. I explained to him how weird it felt to be in titan form and how having four legs was a big change, but I was able to complete one of the things they asked of me.

He simply smiled, nodding along as I ranted about how everything went and how exciting it was.

❃

After a week, we all understood our most important capabilities. The next thing they had us do was fight one another. At the time we thought it was stupid, thinking there would be no instance we would run into another titan shifter.

Bertolt went off on his own. They wanted him to focus on mobility. They had Annie and Reiner fight in fist to fist combat. For Marcel, Peick and I, we more-so had to play a strategy game.

Peick had to run around the forest and hide from Marcel and I. While Marcel and I would both have to chase down Peick, and fight each other to try to get to her first.

At first, I was overly confident in my abilities. Believing I could win it easily. But over time, Marcel was becoming a formidable opponent.

Our agility was almost matched, but he could cling onto trees better than I could, making him faster. My senses were better than his though, making it easier for me to find Peick.

Once he realized how quickly I was able to spot her, he would begin to follow me, knowing he would be able to get to Peick before me when we spotted her.

This would turn into us physically fighting. As the titan is named, his jaw was incredibly strong. But my claws are longer, thicker and stronger than his. I would focus on trying to tear his jaw off, knowing it would take some time for him to recover. So before I could get to his jaw, he would try biting my paws off.

While I had four paws, he only had one jaw. At some point, one of us would try to break free from the other, attempting to make our way to Peick.

After one of us had caught her, all three of us would emerge from our titan bodies, debriefing our fight. Sometimes, we would be fighting over any foul moves we did to one another.

The people conducting our training finally caught up to us. They all were impressed with our work, and decided to give us the rest of the day off.

We all happily transformed back into our titan forms, knowing it would get us out of the forest quicker. As we arrived back at the field, we heard loud crashes. When we emerged from the woods, we were able to witness Reiner and Annie’s fight.

They had always been done about the same time as us. Unlike them, we would still have to travel back to the camp. By the time that we arrived back, they were already done. So this was the first time I got to see Reiner’s titan. While I still have never seen what I looked like in titan form, I could already tell Reiner’s looked better than mine. I absolutely hated to admit it. He looked more human-like, while I knew I looked more like a monster.

❃

Almost immediately after training was finished, they sent us off to war. I thought my father would be happy. This is what he had always wanted for me. Yet the night before we were to leave, he took me out to our normal training spot.

I expected him to want to train, even though I definitely didn’t need it. Instead he wanted me to lay on the ground with him, staring up at the sky. I couldn’t figure out why he had wanted to do this.

We sat together silently, staring up. After a while he finally spoke up, explaining what we were doing. “Whenever I would go to war, watching the stars always made me feel better.”

I said nothing. I didn’t know what to say to that, nor did I really want to say anything. I had to wake up early the next day, so I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.

“I always knew that your mother was watching the same stars. It always brought me comfort.” I turned my head, looking at him, still not understanding what he was getting at. He too turned to me. “So if you’re ever feeling lonely out there, just look at the stars and know that I’m watching the same stars as you.”

Not understanding what he was trying to get at, I could only nod along. I knew that I wouldn’t feel alone out there because I was surrounded by my friends.

Some more time in silence went by before he finally decided it was time to get up. I followed him, heading back to the house. I didn’t get too far before he called my name. I stopped and turned to him.

Before I could do anything else, he embraced me. As he held me in his arms, I felt him shaking slightly. “Please be safe.” He whispered in my ears. “Don’t do anything stupid.” He paused for a moment, slightly chuckling. “Like stepping on a mine.”

I hugged him back, enjoying the feeling of being loved by him. “My leg will grow back if I step on a landmine.” I chuckled as well. “Plus I will be in titan form so it will barely hurt.”

“Yeah.” He mentioned, not really thinking of that. “Well, still don’t be reckless or do anything stupid.”

“I won't.” I reassured him.

He still wouldn’t let go for a few moments. I heard him sniffle a bit. When he pulled away, he used his sleeve to wipe his eyes and nose, confirming that he was indeed crying.

It made me happy knowing how much he cared, even though he was the one that put me in this position in the first place.

❃

I was transformed. Bertolt had just transformed right out front of the enemy's walls, completely destroying it and a few of their buildings inside. They had Reiner and I run in from a distance.

I was ahead of Reiner, my smaller titan form and powerful legs made me faster. I ran through the hole Bertolt had made. My goal was to take out any people I saw who manned the guns atop the wall.

The military base was small. It couldn't have had more than ten or so buildings. All the buildings had about three floors.

I made sure to get far away from my entry point, knowing Reiner would be bursting through any moment and I didn’t want to be caught in the crossfire.

As I began to climb the wall, digging my claws into the bricks, I heard a loud crash, signifying that Reiner had finally caught up.

I had already got to the top of the wall by the time Reiner began his mass destruction. His goal was to destroy any important looking building. Honestly the main goal was to destroy anything in our path.

Now at the top, I headed straight for the big guns. Many people were in my way. Using my paws and mouth, I imitated any obstacle. I remember stepping on them. Their bones cracked beneath me. Biting into them as their blood gushed onto my teeth. I remember my next victims, watching me with fear, holding their guns to their chest shakily. I remember being proud of my actions. Proud that I was protecting my country.

The thought of all of it now disgusts me.

When Reiner and I almost leveled the base, I jumped onto his shoulder, being too exhausted to run back on my own. When we arrived back to the launching point, we quickly emerged from our forms, running for the blimp ready to take us away.

The second we entered, I collapsed to the metal ground. Reiner ran up to Bertolt who had sat in one of the seats “Did you see that?” He asked excitedly. “We were so cool! We’re all real heroes after taking out such an important base of the enemy!”

Bertolt barely responded as he watched my limp body on the floor as I looked up at them. The nurse was already checking me out to make sure I was okay.

Reiner finally turned around to see me. “Oh.” he awkwardly let out, now seeing why Bertolt wasn’t responding. “Are you okay?” he didn’t know what else to say.

“Do I look okay?” I asked sarcastically. The nurse helped me into a seat as we needed to leave as soon as possible. I was already feeling sick, so flying on top of that wasn’t the best.

Reiner sat next to me. He held his hand out to me. “You can hold onto me if you want.” Thinking it would be the only way to help. I graciously took his offer, but instead of just holding his hand, I crushed it as I tried my hardest not to puke all over myself. I could tell it hurt with his grunts, but he never complained or told me to stop.

❃

It felt as though we were thrown into mission after mission with barely any breaks. War got tiring quickly, but there was no way I could escape it. I was stuck with this life until I died in 13 or so years.

Even though I was tired, I was happy to have my best friend with me. When we weren’t on the battlefield we were normally goofing off in some sort of way, often getting in trouble.

The same cycle continued for years until one day. We were on break for about a week. They called all of us in early. We all knew it would be some new mission, but none of us expected how big it would end up being.

Everyone was sitting around the table. Titan Shifters on one side while the Marleyn officers on the other side. Reiner of course sat next to me. He was excited to get a new mission, like always. Excited to kill evil people to protect his country.

They began to tell all of us about the island of Paradis. All of us had learned about it in our studies, but were never told much details. But as an Eldian, we knew we would be sent off there if we were to defy the government.

I was confused, not understanding why they thought to share this information with us, until one of them said. “Five of you will be sent there to infiltrate them.”

“Alone?” I accidentally asked out loud. They nodded their heads as they continued. I already didn’t like the sound of this mission. In every mission so far, there were always Marlyan soldiers waiting to support us in running distance. But any support would be an ocean away.

Not only that, they said that we would have to stay until the mission was completed. Meaning I could be away from home for years before returning.

Our mission: Exterminate everyone on the island and find the titan shifters to return to Marley.

Once they finished their explanations, the head General stood up with a piece of paper in his hand. “The people that will be sent on this mission are.” He started. I closed my eyes, praying that I wouldn’t be sent. Reiner prayed, for a completely different reason.

“Marcel Galliard.” He read off first. My eyes shut tighter, knowing that my chances had just lessened.

“Annie Leonhart.” He read the next name. My fist balled up in my hands, nails digging into my palm. My chances lessened even more.

“Bertolt Hoover.” The next name was read off. I bit my tongue harder. Only two more names needed to be read off and I’d be free.

The General cleared his throat before reading off the next name. “Reiner Braun.” My eyes shot open as I snapped my head at Reiner. His face lit up in excitement. I was saddened at the thought of us being separated.

But then I remembered. They never separated us. Everything moved in slow motion as I turned my head back to the General as he finally read out my name.

My heart dropped as it felt as though all the blood in my body left. Everyone around the table clapped for us, but it only distorted and meshed together.

After the meeting adjourned, everyone went to talk to each other. I on the other hand stumbled out of the building. Walking back home was a complete daze. I am pretty sure I ran into multiple people, most of them insulting me afterwards.

The second I opened the door to my house, I looked for my father. Once I found him, I threw myself at him, sobbing my eyes out. He didn’t understand what was wrong.

We were told to not tell a soul about the contents of this mission, but I couldn’t help the words spewing out of my mouth. Truthfully, I was expecting him to tell me to suck it up and that I should be happy to have such an opportunity. But he did quite the opposite.

He screamed at the top of his lungs about how idiotic they were for sending such young children into such a theoretical plan that left so much room for uncertainties. He was scared for me. He was scared for Reiner.

He threatened to march into their offices to tell them what he thinks. I grabbed back onto him, holding him down and begging him not to, knowing we all would be in trouble if he told anyone.

Stopping, he turned around to me, leaning down he hugged me back, trying his best to calm me down, not even having the words. I sobbed in his arms until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

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