#zeb just playing the ‘NOPE’ card

[better-call-mau1]

@jessicas-pi honestly I wasn’t sure if I was hoping you’d read all the tags or not (because Sabezra Remote-Conceived Midichlorian Baby might be the crackiest thing my brainrot has ever produced 😅) but I am very very happy you did — not least of all because of THESE tags!!! 🤣🤌

After several polls of coming in second or third or fourth or whateverth place, Bo-Katan's Obitine Flashbacks finally won!

Bo-Katan doesn’t know specifics, but she does know it hasn’t been more than a month.

She lowers her voice. “I’m sorry for your loss, Wren. I know you and the Jedi were… close…”

And Sabine Wren drops her face into her arms, bursting into tears and then apologizing through her hysterical sobs, which tells Bo-Katan exactly how close they were.

Bo-Katan is hit with a feeling of deja vu, like she’s done this before.

Wait.

No.

She has.

Ha ha. Fun.

This is just exactly what she needed right now, another woman brokenhearted over a Jedi.

And she thought the time with her sister had been awkward.

Wren is still rambling, half-incoherently as she rubs her eyes and tries to pull herself together, a mix of excuses and explanations and aching, soul-deep pain.

She says enough to give Bo-Katan another realization.

Unless Bo has entirely misheard—not only did Wren have feelings for the Jedi boy—not only did the Jedi boy have feelings for Wren in return—not only did they confess to each other—they also said the vows, which is, Bo is pretty sure, farther than Satine ever got with her Jedi, and then the thought of Satine and Kenobi gives Bo-Katan the most horrifying notion yet.

“Oh, my gods, are you pregnant?”

Sabine sits up, eyes huge, mouth hanging open in speechless bewilderment.

“Am I… no!”

Her answer is entirely sincere, and Bo-Katan slumps in relief.

Manda be praised. We don’t need more Korkies.

[intergalactic-padawan]

We know that he looooves you

Requested: nope

Warnings: teasing from the Ghost crew

A/N: That audio from Carnaval del Barrio plays nonstop in my head, so since I don't have a tik tok or editing skills to pretend that actually happened with me and the Ghost crew, here you go.

Pronouns of reader: they/them. It's how I'm feeling today.

.

x

.

-"guys, please, I beg you. Me and Ezra are sweating and dying in there." - you storm into the cockpit of the Ghost, where the rest of the crew is trying to survive the immense heat of the star burning right in front of you.

-"Just a few more minutes until our contact shows up" - Hera promises - "then, we can turn the cooling systems back on"

-"I thought you two were playing sabaac in there?" - Kanan asks while fanning Hera's neck

-"We were. But turns out playing cards with a friend doesn't really stop the heat. He sent me here to ask for just one minute with the fridge open."

-"Oh, please, don't even start to pretend that Ezra is 'just a friend'" - Sabine interrupts annoyed, immediately being followed by chopper warbling in her support.

-"what? Chopper, he doesn't 'looooove me', where did you even get that from?"

-"wait, now that you mention" - Zeb joins in - "the tension between you two is easy to see"

-"What was that Orellios?"

-"yeah, haven't you noticed?" - Kanan continues, throwing you a knowing smile - "he can never concentrate whenever they're in the same room."

-"Ok, that's it! I did NOT come here to be mocked like that!" - you punch the door panel, an excuse to hide your blushing face and get out of there.

-"See, they didn't even try to hide it!" - is the last thing you hear Sabine shout, just before the door closes.

[waveridden]

gloria and pedro + clinging to each other

The Crabs come back in latesiesta, which means Gloria is working.

“You don’t have to do this,” Valentine says. She’s on the phone, standing at the edge of the field, not far from third base. Gloria can see her from where xe’s perched in the stands. She looks nervous, more nervous than Gloria’s seen in a long time. “You can just be down here and say hi like the rest of us.”

“Nope.” Gloria cradles xyr phone between cheek and shoulder and lifts xyr camera, angling for some shots of the empty field. “I’m the official photographer of the ILB—”

“Nobody gave you that title.”

“I gave myself the title, and nobody’s around to tell me it’s unofficial.”

“That’s not how it works,” Val says, as though they haven’t had this conversation a thousand times. “And besides, your job isn’t— did you hear that?”

Gloria frowns. Xe actually can hear something. “Is that… running water?”

“I don’t think it’s water,” Val says slowly. “But something.”

“Do you need to get to high ground?”

“How do you know what to do in a flood?”

“It’s called thinking,” Gloria says patiently.

Xe’s about to say something else, except then Valentine swears loudly, and then there’s a deluge of… something. Val’s right, it’s not water, it looks like nothing and also water and also oil and also rocks and also something impossible, splashing onto the field of the Crabitat. Val stumbles away, and Gloria can see the few other people brave enough to wait on the field do the same.

Gloria starts taking pictures. “Val,” xe says urgently. “You there?”

“I’m here.”

“What the fuck is that stuff?”

“I’m sure we’ll find out eventually.”

“I think it’s getting lower.”

“I think you’re right.”

Gloria keeps taking pictures, which means that xe can see the moment that the stuff subsides enough to reveal something beneath the surface. Something crabby and… mannequin-y.

“Oh my god,” xe says dumbly. Xe’s taking pictures, more instinct than anything else. “Val, it’s them.”

“You can’t be sure—”

“I can see Forrest.”

“You can…” Val sucks in a breath. “Holy shit.”

The next thing to breach the surface is something metal and shining. It looks like a wing. Gloria has enough time to frown before the rest of the stuff flows away, as smooth and horrid as it came, and then the Crabs are standing in the middle of the field.

“Pedro has wings,” Gloria says. It’s the only thought that makes sense, and even that doesn’t make sense, because Pedro’s here. Pedro’s here and he looks the same. Pedro’s here, with wings, and the rest of the Crabs, and that’s impossible, because Pedro doesn’t have wings, and the Crabs are gone.

“Pedro has—” xe can hear the moment Val’s throat closes up. When she speaks again, her voice is shaking so badly Gloria can barely understand it. “I’m going to go.”

“Bye,” Gloria says, and pauses in taking pictures long enough to slip xyr phone into xyr pocket. Xe gets to xyr feet, a little precariously, but it’s only precarious because of the height and definitely not because xe’s full-body shaking, and starts taking pictures. Every reunion. Every look on the Crabs’ faces as they look around. Val and Pedro the first time they see each other, and then xe respectfully takes some pictures of other things. And then, okay, a couple not-so-respectful pictures of them, xe can’t help it.

It’s easy to get into a groove. Gloria’s basically a professional photographer now. Xe has business cards. Xe has contacts outside of blaseball. Xe has a life of xyr own in a way that the Crabs… won’t be able to recognize. It’s something xe’s been worrying about since earlsiesta and the hints of the Crabs coming back: what if they don’t know xem anymore? What if xe’s changed too much?

Then again, Pedro has wings. So it’s not like xe’s the only one that changed.

Gloria takes pictures. And pictures, and pictures. Xe ignores xyr phone when it starts ringing; it’s probably Margo or Zeb or something, and xe can deal with that later. Instead xe keeps taking photos: Ken and Finn with their hands fastened around each other’s, Luis and Tot sneaking away, Dreamy and Nagomi and MoCo all rushing towards the Crabs. There are countless stories unfolding in front of xem and xe wants to catch them all.

“Gloria,” Valentine says.

Xe flaps a hand behind xemself without turning. “Busy.”

“Great,” Val says, sounding amused. “We’ll just come back later?”

“Five more minutes.”

“Five more minutes,” repeats Pedro.

“Five—” Gloria blinks and drops the camera, letting it swing on the lanyard till it thuds into xyr chest. Xe doesn’t turn around. Xe can’t bring xemself to turn around, because what if it’s not really happening? Xe’s dreamed about this before. Dreams are still hard to figure out sometimes.

“You shaved your head,” Pedro says, and there’s a strange note to it. “It looks good.”

“I don’t care how it looks,” Gloria says, and finally spins around. Pedro’s there and he looks — well, he looks like Pedro, maybe dressed a little different, maybe with giant wings now, but still like Pedro. Xe forces xemself to blink a couple times. “I— I shaved it because I like it better. Doesn’t get in the way.”

Pedro nods. His glasses are smudged. He’s looking straight at xem.

“Hi,” Gloria says, because there’s literally nothing else to say. “Val, take this.”

Valentine, standing behind Pedro, waits for Gloria to take the lanyard with the camera off xyr neck. She takes the camera, handling it like an expert — which she is, she’s played assistant for Gloria enough times to know what to do — and then takes a step back.

“Hi,” Pedro says, which is stupid, because Gloria’s already flinging xemself at him. He seems shorter than xe remembered — or maybe xe’s taller? — but he accepts the hug with grace. His arms wind around xyr back, and Gloria has to struggle to do the same, because there are giant mechanical wings in the way.

“Your wings are dumb,” xe mutters petulantly. “You have to make me some.”

Pedro laughs, a startled burst that makes Gloria grin into his shoulder. “I’m not doing that.”

“I could take great pictures if I could fly!”

“You would be a menace.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

Pedro squeezes xem even tighter. “It’s good to see you again.”

He’s already crying; Gloria can feel it against xyr cheek and shoulder, damp and a little gross. So it’s not embarrassing when xe starts crying too. “You, too,” xe whispers, and xe hopes he can tell how much xe means it.

[jessicas-pi]

@better-call-mau1 dude. crack is my lifeblood. every single fic i've ever written is either crack or started as crack and got serious that one weirdly sad togruta vocalizations fic i wrote is an outlier adn should not have been counted i THRIVE on crack

and your tags continue to be gold

#I will never again hesitate to unload my tag rambles on your posts#it’s the least I can do to show my appreciation (and indulge myself tbh 😆)#that reblog maxed out at the 30-tag cap which was a bummer because I could’ve kept going#but the “Who’s The Dad” game???? 😂😂😂#everyone’s reactions/stances are so on-point#zeb just playing the ‘NOPE’ card#Kallus as that meme with Charlie from It’s Always Sunny#Rex freaking KNOWS because at some point he and Anakin discussed their odd paternity situations#so he’s like “ah yeah it’s another Force baby but without the ‘there was no father’ shenangins”#of course he would have to kill whoever he told that to as you said#can’t have Force users running around remote-conceiving babies#(although that’s considerably less bizarre than the way they explained Snoke in Rise of Skywalker)#anyway anyway anyway then of course Hera the Good Mom is trying to draw attention away from Sabine’s…ambiguous situation…to the task at hand#but Alrich — MY MAN!!!!!!! he freaking gets it#he’s an artist and he sees things that others don’t and he trusts Sabine’s instincts#and trusts that the Bridger boy would totally be a good enough son in law to give him a grandkid from fifty thousand parsecs away#ah…and Ursa…the Mom Who Is Trying…I appreciate her attempt at coming up with a rational explanation lol#Qui-Gon has been waiting like 25 years to dunk on Mace for questioning him after finding the Chosen One#oh wait no 35 years!#huh…wonder what Plagueis would say? “this kid better be careful or he’s gonna come back to 100k credits worth of overdue alimony payments”#something like that I’m sure#anyway thank you for exchanging tag rambles with me#quite a pleasant way to spend this Sunday while also writing Sabezra#jessicas-pi#sabezra#sabezra fanfiction

After several polls of coming in second or third or fourth or whateverth place, Bo-Katan's Obitine Flashbacks finally won!

Bo-Katan doesn’t know specifics, but she does know it hasn’t been more than a month.

She lowers her voice. “I’m sorry for your loss, Wren. I know you and the Jedi were… close…”

And Sabine Wren drops her face into her arms, bursting into tears and then apologizing through her hysterical sobs, which tells Bo-Katan exactly how close they were.

Bo-Katan is hit with a feeling of deja vu, like she’s done this before.

Wait.

No.

She has.

Ha ha. Fun.

This is just exactly what she needed right now, another woman brokenhearted over a Jedi.

And she thought the time with her sister had been awkward.

Wren is still rambling, half-incoherently as she rubs her eyes and tries to pull herself together, a mix of excuses and explanations and aching, soul-deep pain.

She says enough to give Bo-Katan another realization.

Unless Bo has entirely misheard—not only did Wren have feelings for the Jedi boy—not only did the Jedi boy have feelings for Wren in return—not only did they confess to each other—they also said the vows, which is, Bo is pretty sure, farther than Satine ever got with her Jedi, and then the thought of Satine and Kenobi gives Bo-Katan the most horrifying notion yet.

“Oh, my gods, are you pregnant?”

Sabine sits up, eyes huge, mouth hanging open in speechless bewilderment.

“Am I… no!”

Her answer is entirely sincere, and Bo-Katan slumps in relief.

Manda be praised. We don’t need more Korkies.