#zastarcove

[zastarcove-blog]

IMPORTANT NOTICE -- OOC !

yes, this blog is still active! will return on the 24th, due to religious observation of Pesach (Passover). Chag Sameach! 

[zastarcove-blog]

Confessional Diary || March 1st, 2019

The tape starts out just like last weeks -- filming the chair unoccupied. Somewhere, you can hear Anton talking, and by the cadance in his tone, he’s happy. There is a brief moment of silence, before the sound of footsteps are heard heading this way. 

When Anton enters the room, he takes his spot on the chair, and its clear from his appearance alone that he’s had a good night. His hair is disheveled, clothes a mess, and his smile is sleepy and permanent. Once settled, he waves at the camera with a laugh. “Sup guys! My name is Zedd, and this is my confession.”

He leans forward, humming a note of contentment as he does so. “Is it obvious I’ve had a good night?” he asks, laughing when he catches a glimpse of his reflection within the camera lens. “I bet youre looking for me to spill some juicy details on why I look like this...but I think thats best saved for myself, dont you think?” He smiles when he pulls back. His gaze appears almost distant, like he’s there, but not really. He’s happy, wherever he is, and that much is apparent within the glazed, crystallized glow upon his features. When he looks back at the camera again, its almost with a kiddish manner. “I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend! Me! A real, actual, flesh and blood, boyfriend!” The blush that pools in his cheeks is immediate, with his laughter so nervous that its clear he’s trying to hold back his excitement, despite failing. “He’s so...god, I dont know. I mean, I know that, when you compare this with last week’s entry, Im sure whatever Im doing appears rushed, but really, this was a long time coming. I always felt...I dont know, this...connection? To him? And now he’s here, we met up, and we decided that so much time was wasted, it was best to just...hop on and go for it!” 

Playing with the rings on his fingers, he smiles while he continues. “So needless to say, my heart has been really full this week. I’ve been the happiest I have been in ages. Not to mention I moved up quite a few slots on the Billboard charts, so thats something to be excited for too!” He beams up at the camera now. “I’m a very blessed, very grateful man.” 

He ends up getting lost within himself for awhile, as if he’d forgotten the camera was there. But when he snaps out of whatever delusion he’s in, he removes the paper shred he always has out of his jean pocket. “So, this week, I was asked if I have ever questioned my sanity.” A pause, followed with a quick nod and a furrow of his brow. “Oh yeah, who hasnt? I mean, granted, the context you could use the word ‘sanity’ could be vastly different for everyone, but I think no one has been spared from thinking their level of awareness isnt quite where it needs to be.” 

He nods at this, agreeing with his own point, shamelessly so. “I think its the people who feel like they havent that you need to watch out for. They’re the ones who are calculated, and as I’ve found, often cold. Not like they’re bad people, really, but they seem to fail in humility. And why wouldnt they? After all, they think they’ve got it all together.” He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Its important to keep yourself in check. Always make sure where you is where everyone else is...or, in some cases, make sure you’re nowhere close to where they are. Does that make sense?” 

He removes his cell phone out of his pocket, resting it in his hands for a few moments, before biting his lip with a small smile. “...speaking of which, how insane would I look if I texted him right now?”

[zastarcove-blog]

Confessional Diary || February 19th, 2019

The camera feed starts off with just a shot of the chair, unoccupied and seemingly untouched. A few moments of silence pass, broken only by the sound of a door swinging open, and the distant sound of music playing. It gets louder the closer it gets to the camera, and when there is finally some movement in the lens view, it reveals no one other than Anton, donning some sort of interesting outfit. Its a blue lit pair of goggles, his hair slicked back, outfit completely black outside of the blue stripes on his shirt, hidden only by the black dress jacket around his shoulders. He’s dancing, swaying to the music that is now loud enough to be heard by anyone watching. Outside of the...almost painful dancing (if one could even call it that)...his whole demeanor is very futuristic in nature. 

He shows his phone off to the camera, still dancing, mouthing the words silently. His phone screen reveals that his Spotify is playing, in fact, the song he’s just recently released. Of course! After all, if someone was going to watch this tape, why wouldn’t he use it as shameless promo time? He was proud, after all, of his newest creation. Might as well flaunt it.

Finally, the German plops himself down in the chair, removing the goggles and placing them atop his head with a laugh. “Woooo! You can tell I’ve missed a few workouts recently...that, that shit hurts!! Goddamn...” He waves the pain away with a snicker, eventually sitting upright despite having yet to catch his breath. “Sup guys! My...my name is Zedd, and this is my confession.” Only when he’s gained the ability to speak does he even attempt to.

“I really have no idea where to start with how this past week went!” he begins, running his fingers through his hair. “It was fucking amazing! I finally was able to put my new song with Katy Perry out, and the reception was so much better than I thought it was going to be!” He laughs, holding up his phone to the camera to show off the concept art of the song yet again -- two humanesque androids, sleek and tender, embracing one another, one a sterling silver, the other a startling blue -- before taking his seat back. “Incase you didnt get to hear it yet, its -- its uh, called 365, and I’m absolutely thrilled with it! Katy and I had such a fun time shooting the video. She did so well, a-and I think I did okay too! I’ve never, yknow, seen myself as much of an actor, but I still think I might have pulled it off.” He grins. “Just maybe. You’ll have to go look at the video for yourself!” 

He taps his fingers along his phone, clearly so lost in his pride that he’s far too happy to think about anything else. “And...I really dont wanna get ahead of myself, but I had an awesome Valentine’s Day.” He pauses, blushing as he chews the inside of his lip, before speaking again. “I didnt get laid or anything, but I got a kiss! A real, actual kiss!” This is a much different tone than his previous entry. He seems...relaxed. Happy. Optimistic is probably the best word for it. “...and it was sweet. It was nice. The spontaneity of it made it all the better. I wasnt looking for it, it just sorta...happened! I made a joke, and then someone took it seriously. I got kissed, got invited over, we played video games and...!” But he can tell he’s getting ahead of himself, missing the point of this whole entry entirely. Who had time to actually answer a question between possible flings and shameless self promotion, anyway?

He slides his fingers into his shirt pocket, clearing his throat of the previous excitement. “Right, okay. So...this week, I was asked...” He looks at the paper, unfolded, reading the words over a few times before tossing the shred aside. “...what is one dream I have yet to accomplish. Okay, lets see...” He seems to ponder this for awhile, before speaking, carefully and with precision. “...maybe its haughty of me, but I’d love to be added into a musical hall of fame somewhere. I want to create a real life, long lasting legacy. Something so...powerful, that no one will ever forget me.” 

He seems humbled by this revelation. “Who knows how long the DJ scene is going to last? Its kinda like disco, I’d imagine. Hot right now, but one day, people are gonna look back and say...’did we really listen to all of that? Did we really throw parties listening to that shit?’” He relaxes, leaning forward in his chair. “I have yet to create something that will cement my place on this earth. One day, Im not gonna be here, and I want to be able to know that I’ve left some sort of proof behind that I’ve lived. That I was alive. That I had talent I didnt fucking ignore.” He smiles, sliding the googles back over his eyes. “One day! But for now...stream ‘365′!” 

[zastarcove-blog]

// IMPORTANT OOC NOTIFICATION

Hi guys! So, I think I’ll probably keep this up in my blog somewhere, just so no one loses it, but since we have common activity checks and stuff, I wanted to post this so everyone is aware.

I am a Lapid Jew. To define...

Lapid, as a movement, is defined as Yeshua-Centered Judaism. It is a return, restoration and revival of the original faith of Moshiach and His Talmidim (disciples). Lapid is a tradition with its roots in the Orthodox tradition and its soul linked to the Chassidic movement. We are distinct from so-called “messianic Judaism” in that we have a unique focus of being Torah-true and Messiah Yeshua centered. For the Lapidnic, the Torah is not just relevant it’s authoritative. The commandment is Divine and the fulfillment is a great joy. The Lapidic observes the Torah in the same manner that our Master Yeshua did, Jewishly. Our motivation is both to live as He lived (be faithful Talmudic) and to connect ourselves to the Divine by observing the mitzvot (commandments). 

As such being the case...I will not be online from Friday nights at sunset (EST) following up until Saturday night at sunset (although, in my family, we wait until an hour after, when 3 stars are visible in the sky). This is the observance of the shabbat, or Sabbath. Simply put, Sabbath has many, many rules that my family follows, one of the key ones being that we are unable to access electronics until Sabbath is concluded. Please don’t count Friday nights - Saturday nights as being inactive, as it is due to religious observation !! I’ll be back on Sunday, if not Saturday night, I promise! (Unless, of course, previously stated and admins are aware)

Thank you for your time, and if its a Friday when you’re reading this, shabbat shalom! 

[zastarcove-blog]

Confessional Diary || February 5th, 2019

Anton is visibly more comfortable already, evident in his posture and the way he holds himself in front of the camera. He’s dressed comfortably, smiling wide, waving at the camera. He found that, if he acted as though the camera was really just him talking to  bunch of friends, it was less scary. Felt less like an obligation and more like a friendly conversation.

“Sup guys! My name is Zedd, and this is my confession.”

He tilts his head to the side, letting his shoulders relax as he speaks clearly, calmly, and with focus. 

“Whats new? Well, this week has been kinda quiet. I’ve spent alot of my time holed up in my studio, working on some new shit to put out. And...when I’m not doing that, I’m getting ready for the GRAMMYs. It’s the biggest night in music! Gotta make sure I look...” He holds his hand up, making a rather enthusiastic “OK” symbol with his fingers. “..irresistible! The absolute star of the red carpet!” His laughter is genuine, but slowly, it fades away, his smile melting away to be replaced with a look thats all too serious. 

For the next few seconds, he’s quiet, very much so lost in thought, before he slides his fingers into the pocket of his jacket to remove a slip of paper as he did last time. “...anyway, this week, I was asked if I would rather be loved or love.” He sits back, tapping his fingers along his thigh whilst chewing the inside of his lower lip. He knows the answer already, but the real question was how to word it in a way that didnt give away how much this tore him up inside. The German’s hazel eyes meet the camera again. “...in every scenario, I have always been the one doing the loving. And I think thats what Im used to, so I’ll keep it that way. Loving people brings about a certain kind of richness to it. It makes you feel, for a moment, bigger than yourself. Like you’re good.” His lips curl into a small, yet strained, smile. “Finding anyone to love me has proven impossible anyway. I’m not one of the few who is meant to be loved, and somewhere down the line, I became okay with that.”

  He taps his thigh again.

“Well...I’m trying to be anyway. I...I dont like this question, can I stop talking about this now?”

[zastarcove-blog]

Confessional || January 24th, 2019

The tiny German takes his seat in front of the camera, eyes already wandering to the red light that was flashing once, twice -- three times -- indicating it’s recording status. He’s always been awkward when it came to these kinds of things, and this was certainly no different. A confessional? What was he supposed to say? As he wrings his hands in his lap, he has to think back to the rules that had been stated prior -- he didnt have to say anything too “juicy” did he? 

No, just an update, and to answer a question. He looks straight into the camera, flashing an award winning smile, beginning as he did with every other interview!

“ Sup guys! My name is Zedd, and this is my confession. “ It’s awkward. Its kinda clunky. But its a start. 

“ So, I was told that I was supposed to start updating you guys on my life? Which is...new to me, sort of? I mean, I guess its not really all that different from Instagram, only now I have to actually be conscience about it as opposed to just going off the cuff. It’s different, you know? From like..showing off my meals and shit? This is the real deal here. “ He’s rambling, but thats always how he gets when he’s nervous. He’s sure, with time, this wasn’t going to be weird, but for the moment, it is. He absentmindedly twirls the rings on his fingers as he continues to speak.  “ So whats new? Uh...lets see. Well, for starters...I’m here! Star Cove! It’s exactly like I thought it would be, although, so far, I’m too new to make many friends. I’m trying though! Getting myself out there and trying to make plans with people. So far, everyone I’ve spoken to is...very inviting! I like it here. And I’m going to remain optimistic. “  Anton runs his hand along the back of his neck, thinking back to the next question. He knew that he would forget exactly how they had worded it to him, so he was thankful he’d taken a chance to write it down on a piece of paper. He looks away from the ever watching camera just long enough to unfurl the shred, reading it over.  “ So..I was asked... presented with the opportunity to be immortal would you take it? “ He sets the paper down, furrowing his brow in thought. “ Well...I dont know, really! Hmm, thats a great question. Uhm...well, I dont know! I want to say yes, because I’d love to see how far science advances, and the things we can accomplish, but then again, I dont think I would want to see my friends and family die. Thats the, uhm, the morbid part about this question, really. “ 

He smiles brightly, looking at the camera with a nervous laugh escaping the belly of his throat. “ Was I not supposed to look that deep? Haha! Sorry! “