#yvescent

[suddencolds]

finally filled out some picrews for vincent and yves >:) now they need not exist in my mind as a blank slate

picrew link

[illbetheresomehow]

this or that tag game

Sara tagged me in those posts two days ago i could not do all in one time. so here i am to finish it. Thanks @dragonsfire hdjkahdkaj <3

Rules: Bold in what you prefer and tag 10 people

well... let´s see about the ten people, hahaha

coffee or Tea

early bird or night owl

chocolate or vanilla

spring or autumn

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorms or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

Ivory or Scarlet

flute or lyre

opal or diamond

butterflies or honey bees

macaroons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent Van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaids or sirens

masquerade ball or cocktail party

So, as sara did i got freedom to do the same: some cases i bolded both or neither considering what i prefer.

For the tagging i tag the same people as usal since well, yeah @yvescent @hand-painted-stars @pandafeet @afoxthing

[suddencolds]

sending u a star!! ⭐️ sorry i wanted to go thru and pick a specific fic but im too sleepy lol but any yvescent piece u had thoughts on :D

[from Fanfic Writers - Director's Cut]

hello!!! THANK YOU N, IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO RECEIVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹

I also realize am responding to this like 2 months late :') I thought for a long time on which fic to comment on, and now that I've posted Atypical Occurrence pt. 2, I thought I might as well write out my thoughts on it while they're still fresh and bc it's close to my heart (I hope that's okay hehe)

—

⚠️❗️ Warning that I will be attaching snippets from my deleted drafts below!! Please read the published installment before you proceed to read this post. This is a little embarrassing... all I can say is that those drafts were deleted for a reason 🥴

—

There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment. 

I rewrote this scene... 3 or 4 times? It gave me sooo much trouble 😭 I think in the first draft Vincent actually tears up tasting Yves's cooking. (I know, Vincent, I want Yves to cook for me too 😭❗️)

Terrible (ugh 😭) first draft screenshot under the cut (screenshot = old draft, indented quote = current draft):

(Yves pulling up a chair at the end... you can tell he is totally at a loss on what to do 😭 and I, too, was at a loss on what to do)

I wrote this ^, and I was like... this moment just feels unearned? I personally despise outlining + I love going in (mostly) blind. Sometimes the first draft works out of the box, and in this case, the first draft (and the second draft, and the third draft) were all soooo bad that I literally had to take a month-long break to regain my confidence 😭

Anyways! I knew right away that Y was going to cook something for V (it's mentioned here and there throughout the series that he is a really good cook 😭 And in part 3 of Fool Me Twice, Yves promises to make Vincent something more ambitious than hot chocolate. He's finally kept his promise now, 12 installments later 🙇‍♀️ )

From draft 2, there was only one scene which I was sure I was going to include in the final draft, aka, spared from the recycling bin. (But I just checked the final draft and it's nowhere to be seen?? Interesting.)

I would have managed fine on my own.

On this (deleted) scene, and more broadly: I think it's important to me that Yves recognizes that Vincent is self-sufficient in many ways: when Vincent says he will be fine alone, he is telling the truth. Yves doesn't have to stay—he recognizes this too, when he heads for the door in the published draft.

Still, Yves stays, of course—initially, because he insists, and later, because Vincent asks :)

“…You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question. Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.

It was really, really fun writing the differences between caretaker!Vincent (in Fool Me Twice pt. 5) and caretaker!Yves 😊 I usually don't like to say too much on the end of character analysis, bc I like my work to be interpreted as it is: the text is canon, and everything I'm saying here is just me yapping on about my headcanons. (I have been roasted for saying this by a dear friend of mine, probably rightfully so:)

With that disclaimer: Vincent to me (I can only speculate, etc) is a very no-bullshit caretaker (he likes to enforce whatever will lead most directly to the person's recovery; he actually worries a lot, but his worry often manifests as frustration/snappishness), whereas Yves is a lot more permissive and, for the most part, manages his stress—he is the eldest sibling, after all! I think he does what he can to make it a more tolerable experience :)

“So this is just a Yves thing.” “What? Showing consideration for my friends?”  “Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.” “I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.” “Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.” Yves supposes this is true.

Vincent takes things very literally (and I think he's actually quite aware of the social niceties around these kinds of things, which is in part why he is so skeptical to assume that Yves means anything more.)

There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging. Yves goes very still. When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned.  “Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”

This scene means a lot to me!! It took a loooot of editing to hammer into place (the doc I wrote it on is titled "fixing this scene would FIX ME" haha). I think this is the first time Vincent has actively sought out Yves's comfort 😭 And he regrets it almost as soon as he's said it, because he does not do things without a good justification, and wanting something—even wanting it badly—does not feel like a sufficient justification to him. But give Yves an inch and he will take a mile!! He will take a hundred miles!! That is just the kind of person that Yves is.

I was talking with some friends previously about how I wanted to write Vincent reaching out for Yves. How I wanted Vincent to, through the haze of fever, cross a line that he'd previously not allowed himself to cross :') I think it is a time-old trope to have someone, in their feverish delirium, utter something embarrassing and utterly uncharacteristic of them, or divulge something that has been difficult for them to say.

This whole time drafting, I was thinking, how can I set up a moment like that and have it feel earned? How badly would he have to be feeling? What kind of setup would justify getting past his 590859 mental defenses? (I do not like to outline, but sometimes I do have an emotional beat that I have in mind, and then I have to work backwards to figure out the setup. This took SO much working back from, and I really thought about it for very long). I was almost sure that Vincent would regret it immediately after too 😭

Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”

Ahh, so Y offering V a hug is inspired by a fic I read 6 years ago, where a character offers another a hug as a joke and then the other character surprises them by taking it. Yves is really offering here, but I think he recognizes that joking about it will make it easier for Vincent to accept 😭

Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.

I have nothing to say about this paragraph except that I edited it for like 40 minutes straight.

Last thing!!

“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows.”

The scene near the end (where Vincent tells Yves about his childhood) is actually the scene which came the most easily to me. I also did not write it last; I jumped around. It took me around 1.5 hours. (By comparison, simply editing the scene before it took 11 😵‍💫)

I did always intend for Vincent to disclose... well, /something/ about himself. (You can tell that when I plan, that's really as far as I plan LOL)

Anyways, when Vincent wakes Yves up (after Yves falls asleep at his desk), I initially wrote it so that Yves wakes Vincent from a nightmare.

But (as direct a link to vulnerability as that might have been,) Vincent would not talk about his nightmare 😭 So I switched gears.

I also specifically wanted to write about Vincent's experience being cared for growing up. I think something that's culturally resonant with me (as an Asian American, and the eldest daughter to immigrant parents) is like, the ways families can and cannot say I love you—the quiet things that are done in place of a more direct expression of it. The way that while unspoken consideration can speak volumes, it can just as easily be invisible. But even now, writing this post, I feel like it's difficult for me to untangle the feelings and experiences I've had into something that feels sufficiently multifaceted.

Vincent has a different childhood from I do (it is probably worth noting that I do not project onto any of my characters, nor do I use them as a vessel to get my own experiences across). I think I'm just drawn to writing tricky/non-straightforward expressions of love, in general :) Sometimes that is the kind of love that resonates with me most.

[suddencolds]

the way I just binge read all of your yvescent fics and all I can think of is WHY DIDN'T I DO IT SOONER?!!!! like...omg. hear me out, I am usually more into fandom content, OCs don't really draw my attention that much BUT that thought's definitely change thanks to yours. Idk, everything about them felt so well-built and their personalities are just captivating they just make you wanna get to know them more (yes, now I am attached and do not regret it one bit). Anyways, what I am trying to say with all that is that thank you for creating them, I think they're awesome and that I admire your blog :))) I came for all the g/enshin fics (which I think are one of the best out there) and found gold by discovering your Yves and Vincent.

ps: didn't get the chance to vote on the poll, but the option that won.... let me just say that I am living for it

Anon!!! Thank you for reading and leaving such nice thoughts!!! 😭😭❤️ It means a lot to me that you were able to enjoy my original content even though you followed me for Genshin - I definitely feel like it can be harder to overcome the initial hurdle of not knowing the characters when it comes to original content.

Thank you for giving them a chance regardless!! And I am so happy to hear that you like them!! 💖 It's actually been a year since I started the series as of... last Monday, haha. (I also apologize for any waiting you'll have to do in the future 😭) Hearing that others look forward to reading more brings me so much joy!!

(Also, to your P.S. - that option was a winner from since right after I posted the poll and hasn't changed since 👀 I feel like the people who voted for it are split between like... allergy enthusiasts and the Vincent suffering enthusiasts haha (or maybe both at once?) Rest assured, I've taken note of it... ✍️)

[illbetheresomehow]

Bold Tag

Rules: bold the statements that are true (italicize for somewhat true) and tag 15 people.

Again, @dragonsfire tagged for this. With this i finish the tagg spam hdasjkhdasjk

★ appearance ★

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses/contacts / i have blonde hair / i wear sweatshirts a lot / i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / i have one or more piercings/ i have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have gotten plastic surgery / i have or had braces / i sunburn easily / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / i am pleased with how i look / i prefer nike to adias / i wear baseball hats backwards

★ hobbies and talents ★

i play a sport / i can play an instrument / i am artistic / i know more than one language / i have won a trophy in some sort of competition / i can cook or bake without a recipe / i know how to swim / i enjoy writing / i can do origami / i prefer movies to TV shows / i can execute a perfect somersault / i enjoy singing / i could survive in the wild on my own / i have read a new book series this year / i enjoy spending time with friends / i travel during school or work breaks / i can do a handstand

★ relationships ★

i am in a relationship / i have been single for over a year / i have a crush / i have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / i have dated my best friend / i am adopted / my crush has confessed to me / i have had a long-distance relationship / i am an only child / i give advice to my friends / i have made an online friend / i met up with someone I have met online

★ aesthetics ★

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell / i have watched the sun rise / i enjoy rainy days / i have slept under the stars / i meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / i enjoy the smell of the beach / i know what snow tastes like / i listen to music to fall asleep / i enjoy thunderstorms / i enjoy cloudwatching / i have attended a bonfire / i pay close attention to colors / i find mystery in the ocean / i enjoy hiking on nature paths / autumn is my favorite season

★ miscellaneous ★

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / i am the mom friend / i live by a certain quote / i like the smell of sharpies / i am involved in extracurricular activities / i enjoy mexican food / i can drive stick-shift / i have memorized an entire song in a day / i believe in true love / i dream up scenarios to fall asleep / i sing in the shower / i wish i lived in a video game / i have a canopy above my bed / i am multi-racial / I AM A REDHEAD / i own at least three dogs / i am lgbtq+

@yvescent @pandafeet @afoxthing don’t hate me for the spam tag. feel free to do if you want to.

[illbetheresomehow]

Sara dear, thank you so much! Tagged by the amazing @dragonsfire she pulls me from the deep everytime. 😍 anyway

Here's my lockscreen, homescreen and last song.

Seems like i am and always will have shinee world as my lockscreen hahaha

Jinyoung on real thai is the homescreen

And breathing underwater is just A PERFECT song, please listen to it.

I am tagging @pandafeet @afoxthing and @yvescent to do if you want to...

😊

[illbetheresomehow]

Get to know me tag

My dear and amazing Sara ( @dragonsfire ) tagged me for this. thank you, hon. I think tumblr wouldn’t be the same without you, girl. always thanks <3

Recent selfie: So, i am not good at these, BUT, my cousin married last saturday and i was so beautiful i took some. hihihi 

Name: Luiza

Hair color: Well, i fail everytime i try to name colours. dark blonde? brown? anyway, that one from the picture.

Favorite fruit: banana. but that is NOT news. hahaha

Favorite flowers: roses. they remind me of jjong, and that is all the reason there needs to be. :)

Favorite season: winter. always winter. coats and coffee and tea and blankets and socks. yes, winter.

Favorite animal: dinossour and unicorn.

Favorite fictional character: Jem Carstairs. I really like nick from demon’s lexicon. But yes, Jem and Tessa, always. 

Favorite TV shows: i love korean dramas, does it count?

Favorite color: black, aqua pearl and green tons. also pink.

Dog or cat person: when i was a kid i had a big rotweiller called athus. but now i want i cat. i think i can say i am a dog person. but...

Tumblr crush: mine.

Biggest dream trip: asia.

tagging @yvescent @hand-painted-stars @pandafeet @afoxthing

[illbetheresomehow]

I was tagged by sara @dragonsfire to do the bias name playlist. Last time i think i did Jonghyun’s. but today i am doing jinyoung’s. yes, i finaly accepted he is the one. well, for now anyway.

J - Juliette - Shinee

I - I am me - GOT7

N - N/A - Jooyoung

Y - Your number - Shinee

O - One and only you - GOT7

U - Uneasy - 2pm

N - Night Rather than day - EXID

G - Gashina - Sunmi

okay, that was dificult i had to look it up for some songs otherwise it would be only got7 e shinee playlist 

anyway, i am tagginf @hand-painted-stars @yvescent @pandafeet and @afoxthing if you want to do it

[illbetheresomehow]

¦URL TAG¦

Aaah thanks Sara (@dragonsfire ), do not know how i would cope tumblr without you 💚

So, i should spell my url using only kpop songs. I love this 😊

I - in my room - shinee

L - look - got7

L - let me out - jonghyun

B - Band boy - red velvet

E - El Dorado -EXO

T - the chance of love - tvxq

H - hot pink - exid

E - error - vixx

R - roleplay - luhan

E - everybody - shinee

S - shangri-la - vixx

O - officil - lee hi

M - my turn to cry - exo

E - excuse me - aoa

H - heart stop - taemin

O - only one for me - btob

W - who's that - got7

Wow i tried to put what i losten the most, it was hard cause i could not remember all the sons and had ro look it up. Hahaha but i loved it!!! I am tagging @yvescent @hand-painted-stars @afoxthing and @pandafeet if you want to do it.

Tks again sara 😍

[illbetheresomehow]

Soooo Sara ( @dragonsfire​ ) tagged me. thank you sweetie, also, give me some time to answear you. i am sure you had a GREAT time last night <3

The rule of the game is to add a song to every letter of your bias name.

I actually got confused on wich bias to do. I am not on my good days to do Jonghyun’s, but i also cannot do for Jinyoung. SOOOOOOO, i will do for Lim Jaebeom. I will try to make everything GOT7, since it has been a week from the concert in Argentina <3

L - Let me 

I - If you do

M - Meet Me

J - Jibberish

A - A

E - Eveyday

B - Be my girl

E - Eveybody - Shinee

O - On & on - JJ Project

M - Moon U

I am tagging @yvescent @hand-painted-stars @afoxthing @pandafeet if you want to do it, of course.

[illbetheresomehow]

Oh shit i forgot to tag hahaha here it is: @yvescent @afoxthing @pandafeet and @hand-painted-stars feel free to do if you want too 😊

So sara @dragonsfire tagged ne for this. My other biases are seolhyun from AOA and leeteuk from suju. I used to have a type of leader bias… but since i keep changing my biases, there seems to be no type…

Thank you sweetie 💚

[illbetheresomehow]

get to know

no one tagged me. but i feel... anyway i want to do it to boost my mood. 

Rules: Tag 15 people to get to know better.

I am tagging my friends, but you do not need to do if you do not want to...  @afoxthing​ @yvescent​ @pandafeet​ @dragonsfire​

Relationship status: i married to got7 4 years ago.

Lipstick or chaptick: what’s the diference?

Three favorite food: cake, coffee and pasta.

Song stuck in my head: This life - Key

Last movie: does it count drama? it was the smile has left your eyes.

Top three tv shows: W, while you were sleeping and ruler of the mask.

Book i am reading: Through fire, through blood by cassie.

Last thing i googled: dolar currency. (when you buy kpop albuns dolar becomes your second money, unfortunatly)

Time: 2:42pm

Dream tip: japan and shangai.

Anything you want: just get through this year.