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zeemczed · 2 years ago

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You know about homestuck? Man I don't wanna sound demanding but I would really to know what you think of a EGS/HS crossover. Because I really like the idea, either the EGS cast dealing with sburb and troll bullshit or the HS cast dealing with magic. Of course if you don't have any that's fine.

I was there DAY ONE. I got into Hussie's stuff vis-a-vis Team Special Olympics and And It Don't Stop, I was reading Problem Sleuth live through the last 500 or so pages, and I was STOKED to see Homestuck start. BUT YEAH I have extensive EGStuck thoughts. FIC IDEAS POST-BREAK.

So I have two ideas, one leaning EGS flavor, the other leaning more Homestuck flavor. The first is THE UNIVERSITY.

Sburbless. The game constructs (IE Sylladexes, Strife Specibi) are a kind of magitek, same as the TF gun. The EGS crew and the kids knew each other via the internet through their formative years (Rose was Ashley's internet girlfriend), and arranged to go to college together at ANDREW HUSSIE UNIVERSITY (home of the Fightin' Weasels!). The trolls landed the year before, refugees of a broken empire that was in its death throes... oh, and they used the same magic. Publicly. Though some forms of transformation (EG bloodcaste alteration) were punishable by death before. The Uryuoms (who ARE interdimensional space aliens, same as the Alternians) had tangential contact with them and were able to sort of guide first contact so it didn't end in immediate war (and the Uryuoms come out of concealment at that point).

The story is mostly a slice of abnormal-life, with Tedd's magic lab trying to get to the core of what makes magic tick, Rose writing treatises on troll culture and how it's adapting to earth, and Karkat inadvertently (or possibly deliberately?!) flirting pitch with Justin (spoiler: they do, and it's messy and weird and awesome).

Other loose ideas for this setting:

Vriska is WAY more comfortable with human culture than troll culture after a very small amount of time. She's part of a small and vocal "fuck Alternia, we're earthling trolls now" movement.

Grace's origin is almost unchanged, BUT they used troll genetics for some of her brothers. Damien had tyrian-based mind control abilities that he used to make the researchers submit to his will.

Terezi decides she's going to be Sarah's friend five seconds after she meets her when Sarah slings Dresden-level snark back at her.

Sarah, meanwhile, is part of a WEBCOMIC CLUB... that only has her and Dave in it. She does The Wizard Sarah. Dave does Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. The club does very little.

Elliot and Nanase take over the college STRIFE! club. They need to get a prof to be the official head of the club... and Tensaided isn't doing anything...

The JUST/HEROIC rule applies... to any fight with strife specibi involved. Hence why there's a STRIFE! club. You can't die in a college club sparring session. That would never be heroic, and if it's just you must be an INCREDIBLE piece of shit.

Vriska steers clear of the club. She knows what she's done.

No god tiers.

Idea two is a lot less... structured right now. Basically, the EGS crew sit down to play a game at the same time as Egbert and company. Things change dramatically from the Homestuck we know.

Tedd - who is really good at speedrunning - manages to save the Earth by functionally captchaloguing the entire planet before more than a few meteors hit. It's safe in his sylladex the entire story.

Ellen is Elliot's alchemized ecto-clone. It shouldn't have happened. It did. She's irritated about that, but... y'know... EXISTENCE, can't be too pissy.

TF happens via alchemization. There is a LOT of human alchemization in this timeline.

John and Tedd are the heads of the "Totally Cisgendered 100% Men Yup Totally Club Also This Isn't A Club". This goes about as well as you can expect, with John becoming June less than halfway through the story and Tedd realizing their genderfluidity.

Grace is TECHNICALLY Gracesprite^2, but ain't no one gonna remember that. She's Tedd and Sarah's sprites.

The looming threats in the background - Lord English and Lord Tedd - obliterate each other before they can become more than lore and signal noise.

By all means, GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS.

#Homestuck #el goonish shive #askbox open #crossovers #EGStuck

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jadedragoness · 4 years ago

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Battle Ground 1st Read Through Reaction

Can I just start off by saying, Holy crap. Chicago got curb-stomped hard. So freaking hard.

I really, really, enjoyed the story. I pretty much didn’t want to stop reading as soon as I cracked open the covers of the book but I did have to have periods of giving myself a break and just put the book down and go do something sensible like do the dishes instead of screaming or shaking my fists at the sky like a lunatic.

I do admit that as a story the continuous battle was draining and exhausting to read. But I think that was the point so I don’t really count it against the story. It is something important to know going in, and why I’d recommend breaks.

Let’s talk spoilers… just assume spoilers for everything Dresden Files related too. Ummm, also this runs long.

First Let’s Me Tell You About the Thing Which Exploded My Brain:

1. MARCONE IS FREAKING KNIGHT OF THE BLACKENED DENARIUS! WHHHAAAAT!!

...okay, I’m done screaming about it.

OF FREAKING THORNED NAMSHIEL!!! ...I lied, I wasn’t done. How long? What? When? I didn’t see this coming at all! And I’m so freaking torn about how to feel about it.

I am so damned (heh) relieved that Marcone’s didn’t die at Ethniu’s hands. I seriously freaked at the moment she snapped his neck that I went into instant denial and my eyes skipped several paragraph down out of the desperate wish to see if it was trick. I’m also very, very delighted that Marcone is now so much harder to kill. I mean, he was already pretty hard to kill being Marcone but this just takes it up to eleven.

On the other hand, a Fallen Angel is so freaking dangerous. *makes gargling worried noises* And while it looks like Marcone appears to have worked out a partnership with the coin I can’t help but remember that when we were first introduced to this Fallen he was called ‘Thorned Namshiel’ and not by the name of his bearer. So he appears to be the type to subsume the human who holds him. Which makes me worried that Marcone could be on that path and not even realize it. *goes back to making gargling worried noises*

I do find reassuring that the coin is on a chain around his neck and therefore easily removed and not buried in his body like some of the other Denarians will do.

However, I am feeling a little disappointed Marcone is no longer purely a ‘vanilla’ mortal who stood toe-to-toe eldritch beings and survived by simply being smarter, deadlier and amazeballs. I’ll miss that. I always thought that it was especially hilarious how much Harry would freak out about Marcone and how deadly Marcone is when even in the same room as scary monsters (like in ;Skin Game;, I mean seriously he was in the same room as Nicodemus and Harry was hardcore worried about upsetting Marcone… hilarious!) when Marcone was a vanilla mortal… but now he’s not.

And yet, now Marcone knows how to sling around magic and is incredibly hard to kill. *thumbs up at Jim Butcher* Yeeeessssss! *is so happy*

Although… if Harry doesn’t end up making all manner of ‘thorny’ jokes at Marcone I’m going to be very disappointed. =D

Things I Sorta Expected:

1. Murphy dying.

Now, I totally bawled at the scene after Rudolph shot Murphy. I especially lost it when Harry kept referring to her body as an ‘empty house.’ ARGH. But I wasn’t actually surprised that she died. I did feel like I got a very strong sense it was going to happen. Actually, from how often Harry’s thoughts seemed to be pinging in that direction I was partially convinced his wizardly ‘insight’ was kicking in and trying to warn him.

And he tried. He really did.

But ultimately it was Karrin’s own choice to be away from safety and be her badass self.

2. Hendricks’ dying.

I’ve actually have read the short story ‘Monsters’ from Goodman Grey’s POV and I’ve read it a little over a week ago and in it he notes Marcone’s bodyguard as a dumb Einherjaren. Which made my brain go: Whoa, wait… where’s Hendricks? Is Hendricks dead? Did Hendricks die and become in Einherjaren? Or is he off doing something and one of those guys is taking over for a bit? Fuck, Hendricks is dying in ‘Battle Ground’ isn’t he?

So I wasn’t exactly surprised, but I was still very, very upset. And when Ethniu picked up Hendrick’s corpse and smashed him into Marcone that’s where I lost it. Like totally lost it while also being worried about Marcone at the same time. Gah.

Curveballs I Did Not Expect:

1. Marva and Drakul. The deaths of Wild Bill and Yoshimo at the hands of Black Court vampires and the threat that we may see them again as Black Court? Did not see that coming. I expected to lose Wardens but not like that.

...and I may be in denial about Chandler (I like the guy, okay) being dead. Please. He’s a wizard. He’ll be back. Of course as soon as I wrote that I was instantly struck of by the thought of: ��Yeah, but will you like what you get back?”

2. Also Drakul is a starborn? I get more and more curious about what it means! I’m with Harry in frothing in frustration over how people won’t tell him already! *screams into the void*

Also Kincaid worked for this guy? *shudders*

3. Marcone and Thorned Namshiel. *gurgles*

4. Justine had Nemesis in her! And for years?!

How in the hell are they going to save her? Mab barely saved Lea and she’s Mab!

Also I thought Nemesis was very infectious. Is there anyone else around who has been infected? Maybe among Harry’s friends with Justine as the vector? *is worried*

5. Not getting a resolution on the situation with the Svartalves. Or did I miss something? Seriously, the ending of the book felt like it was missing about 30 more pages to wrap up and work a bit more on characters.

Things I Did Not Like or Was Disappointed By:

1. Rudolph getting to live. Fuck that guy.

Okay, I understand that his not getting murdered at Harry’s hands wasn’t really for Rudolph’s sake but for Harry’s own soul. I just want him dead. Dammit, is it too much to ask for him to have been shot by a turtleneck or stomped by a Jotun or splattered by Formor acid that slowly ate away at his guts as screamed until his internal organs slowly dissolved?

I have may have a bloodthirsty vengeful streak. And yet: want.

2. I also may have narrowed my eyes at the end of the book there after Harry said that Marcone was dropping off the keys and then it turned out Lara had picked them up instead. I may have also said aloud, “Butcher, are you Marcone-blocking me?” And he was, dammit, because I didn’t get to read more Marcone.

… I do not have a Marcone-addiction.

3. This is more disappointment than dislike but I didn’t get nearly as much Goodman Grey as I thought I’d get. Aw.

4. Harry not getting to talk to Ivy. *grumbles*

Things I Really Liked/Loved

1. Harry got his home back! And it’s the castle! The castle he all but swindled out of Marcone. Yes, I love it! I love Marcone but doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it when Harry get the best of him too. Anyway, I just love the fact that Harry is claiming parts of his life back from the traumatic heart-stomp events which occurred in ‘Changes’. *bounces in excitement* Now he just needs an office!

2. Marcone. Always. Actually I was a little afraid when he vanished after the battle started that there would be very little Marcone in this book too because Butcher is so Marcone-stingy.

3. That Harry is no longer a member of the White Council. I mean, they’ve been pretty useless to helping Harry out. And honestly, Harry has gotten so many headaches from them that I can’t help but think this is a weight he needed to shed.

Although, it really feeds my ‘Harry needs to become a member of the accords in his own right’ thing again. Seriously, he’s the Warden of Demonreach. He bound a Titan. It needs to happen. Ooh, or the Paranet can see about becoming an Accorded organization in their own right and then Harry can be with them. Yeeeessss.

4. Bob is back in Harry’s hands! Freaking yes! Whoohooo! About time! Oooh, wait, has Bob meet Bonnie? Can we read this happening? OMG, I want it so much… or would Harry be too horrified to let Bob influence his spirit-kid? LoL.

5. Seeing Toot-toot and Lacuna again! And when Harry pulled his ‘Za Lord’ maneuver and got the Guard and a ton of other fairies to help in the defense of… well, pizza in Chicago, that was great I punched the air.

The I gloated even more over how Mab then explained Harry had scared some of the others with that move. Heh.

6. River Shoulders was so damn badass and amazeballs and like Wild Bill said, I’ll take two.

7. Michael and Charity already knowing that Molly is the Winter Lady and being the best parents and loving and accepting and… so much love for those two.

EVERYTHING MARCONE… yes, he’s getting his own heading

1. Gah, I love him. I have mentioned this before. That one of the first things he says to Harry when Harry is staring at him as he changes clothes is to paraphrase ‘did you forget how to get dressed or is this an awkward sexual reconnaissance’ nearly killed me. I was caught between giggling and choking on my own spit and then I nearly fell off the couch. Just remembering about it now, has me giggling at the computer screen.

2. Also, I find that ‘Excellent’ response from Marcone after they exchange threats to be fascinating. This was one of those points were I put the book down and wondered what Marcone meant by that. Then I had the thought that maybe in his own fashion, Marcone was doing the same thing that practically everyone had been doing with Harry since he got back from being shot. He was checking to see if Harry was still the same man he’d been before. And from Harry’s response, Yup. He was. So: “Excellent.”

Having also read ‘Skin Game‘ and how cold Marcone is in the end there? The difference with this Marcone versus the one where Mab was listening? I find that interesting too!

3. When Marcone showed up to the fight! So freaking badass! Love how he led the fighters.

Also I find it significant that both of the guys who are obsessed with protecting Chicago were the ones who manifested ‘banners’ which drew humans to the fight.

Really cool. And it reminds me all over again that for all their different life philosophies Marcone and Dresden do agree on the mantra of: Protect Chicago.

4. This book, especially the lake beach scene reminded me so hard why I love the banter between Harry and Marcone so much. When it just seems to be the two of them and they aren’t actively threatening each they have such a great rapport! Loved reading it! Wished we got more of it in the books.

5. Okay, with Hendricks’ death I’m rather worried for Marcone. ‘Even Hand’ gave the impression Hendricks often acted as a very gentle conscience to Marcone. Losing him has got to be hitting Marcone hard. And that I now know he only has a Fallen angel on his shoulder?

Yup, growing more worried for Marcone at the time.

6. I’m also wondering about what was said in that exchange between Mab and Marcone on the roof when Harry called out Marcone for about being the Lord of Chicago needing to be more than talk. Okay, I can guess. I just really, really want to hear the words because I bet Marcone was badass.

7. The Lord of Chicago giving Harry the title of the Wizard of Chicago? Freaking loved it.

8. Also Marcone freaking purred. Purred. “Prove it,” he purred. “Hero.”

I think Jim Butcher is trying to give me a heart attack or cause me to crack my skull on floor because I nearly fell off the couch again.

9. With Marcone now outed as a magic-wielding Denarian does that mean we get more of him in the future books? Because I freaking hope so... I say this even knowing I’d have the exact same wish even without him being a magic-wielding Denarian.

Things I Found Completely Hilarious

1. Marcone’s opening lines to Harry. Heh. Forever Lol!

2. Is Lacuna a tooth fairy? Her obsession with teeth cracked me up so much.

3. That Mab smacking both Lara and Harry with those wedding plans. *snickers* I mean, I find it totally hilarious because of how gobsmacked both of them were about it. I don’t expect Harry to go through with it at all, not with how we know how seriously he takes relationships. So either he’s going to get out of being the Winter Knight or find some other way to defy Mab. Or hell, maybe Lara gets them both out of it by marrying someone else first. Honestly, I can’t see her agreeing to marry someone who’d burn her with a touch.

Pure Speculation or Things that Just Excite Me for the Future:

1. Now I bet you’re all wondering why I’m not more upset about Murphy or Hendricks dying. Simply put, I’m 100% convinced that when both Murphy and Hendricks wake up in Valhalla, in drinking (with quaffing I bet) halls full of grunting, fighting obsessed Vikings and they will go ‘Nope, I’m out!’ three seconds later. Those two? Especially knowing how much trouble Harry and Marcone have got to be getting up to without them? They’d probably join forces and stage a breakout to get back.

This is what occurred to me the moment Gard explained what happened to their bodies. The whole not come back until everyone who knew them was gone, yeah, right. Not happening.

Or, jeeze, I can’t image Marcone not thinking this was a possibility and then not having made plans to bust Hendricks out and you know Murphy would demand to come along too. And with Thorned Namshiel providing help? I can see this happening.

...okay, this idea sneaked into my head but now I’m seeing Murphy (having busted out of Valhalla with a bunch of Einherjaren) and learning about the upcoming nuptials between Lara and Harry leads a raiding party (what else, with Vikings!) to bride nap (groom nap?) Harry away before he says “I do.“ Heh. This would be hilarious.

2. I’m sorta vibrating with the possibilities of what the future will bring with a Chicago that is waking up to the dangers of the supernatural while at the same time having learned that it is possible to stand up to monsters and kill them. Especially, what this means when bad things go down in Chicago again, because of course they will. And there may be more people joining in the fight.

Hmm, can the Paranet be deployed as a means of bringing vanilla mortals in or educating them so they don’t go after the good guys? They do sort of stand in the middle, more so than Harry. *lost in thoughts*

3. While I’m actually a little surprised that Ebenezar made it out alive as I actually had him down on my ‘Will Probably Die List’. I was relieved as I hope to see him and Harry actually have that conversation which Harry wants. Seriously, if only for Maggie’s sake, who shouldn’t have her first and last memory of her Great-Grandpa be him being a total jerk.

4. Harry can bind the prisoners of Demonreach to do his bidding? *blinks* Ooh, the possibilities.

5. These Librarians, the Men in Black of the DF ‘verse, sound amazing and I can’t wait to see them show up.

#the dresden files #battle ground #Harry Dresden #harry blackstone copperfield Dresden #The Curbstomp of Chicago #spoilers #battle ground spoilers #dresden files spoilers #karrin Murphy #mab #review/reaction #formor war #formor #river shoulders #nathan hendricks #john marcone #gentleman john marcone #book spoilers

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nonlethal2 · 4 years ago

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Knobles

Went to Knobles yesterday. I really wasn't up for it but Dave was dead set on going there and honestly I think he wanted to go there more than Kaleb did because when we were at Turkey Hill Kaleb said he rather be here playing in the backyard. Plus Kaleb was not listening and being miserable and cranky. It was also very hot. Dave gets his money and we get ready to go to Knobles. Get there and I pull in the parking lot and I'm asking him where to go and right off the bat he's giving me attitude that he doesn't know since he always come in down there. When why didn't you say that and I would have freaken drove down there. See I hate driving constantly 24/7 and him just being a passenger. It pisses me off!! He will yell/ slash get excited at something or something that he sees and here I think something is going on. Like yesterday he is trying to show me as we are leaving some roller coaster that when Knobles first open had the park open for four miles. Meanwhile I am trying to drive, pay attention to my GPS in an area that I never driven before, there is a twist in the road and we have your kid in the car but sure let me take my eyes and just stare at this rollercoaster you feel is so important to look at. That's another I hate. Driving home yesterday. I brought up a restaurant that serves food and ice cream. Now keep in mind. I am driving, have my phone on for directions and he is a passenger in the car as well as his four year old son. Do you think he's going to pull out his phone and look the place up?? No, that's too much like work

He's going to just sit there being his normal hypocritical self smoking cigarettes with his kid in the car and have me do it all. So yup I am driving and have to look up the restaurant to see if it is open, that we can sit down, has ice cream. Do that and get us there.

Can't wait for him to drive and get a license and car so I can be a passenger and just act like him but I don't see that ever happening.

Back at us at Knobles. We get there and he goes to the bathroom and I am walking with Kaleb. We get in line for this train ride which seems to take forever. Do the train ride which was cute. Than they have this place with all kiddie rides. However, it's all the way at the end of the park so we are walking there which seems to be taking forever. Dave is charging ahead and I am the one looking after Kaleb who isn't paying attention to where he's going and tripping over himself. Okay sure I got your kid that you are still correcting to call you dad not Dave.

Take Kaleb and he does some kiddie rides and wants a drink. So have to hike in the heat to a place that sells drinks. Get the kid a drink who is still being miserable, cranky, tired and only listening somewhat but sure lets take him to an amusement park. We reward him instead sounds like a good thing. So he drinks and goes to the bathroom and wants to do more rides. We take him back down and he does more rides. He gets off these car rides and he is acting up and not listening and I tell him if he keeps it up he's not going to get more ice cream. So Kaleb picks up rocks throws them at me which hits me in the back. I tell Dave. He comes at me and hits me. I looked at him and said now you definitely aren't getting ice cream and we are going home. I had enough of his misbehavior, the heat, and Dave not disciplining that if that was my child and the minute those rocks hit my back he would have been smacked. This kid doesn't know the meaning of being punished. He sheds some fake crocodile tears says the words he is sorry which he doesn't know the meaning of and he knows he will get what he wants and that's exactly what happened. He got his ice cream while acting up in the restaurant.

Got home and someone was parked in front of my house and tried to parallel park without hitting the cars and have Kaleb in the back jabber jaw, and mister as always just sitting there. Determined after 2 attempts that I wasn't going to be able to get into the spot so I whipped a U turn and parked across the street. I hear Dresden parking and honestly I been worried about my dogs with being gone for so long. I am wondering if Dresden got into something, did Zo have an accident and if so guess what??? I am the one cleaning it up not him. He can't even be bothered as I seen Friday to throw out his trash from the bedroom. Finding empty sushi containers, my pepsi cup and a spoon under the bed along with other garbage.

I just snapped and went off. He said not to yell at him because he didn't do anything but I remember saying Fuck you that he was to blame because he's the one that wanted us to go to that place and I truly believe that, Knobles was more for him then anything else. I just got out of my car and charged across the street and came into the house. Looked around and didn't see any accidents or any destruction. I got the dogs in the backyard and I see people in the backyard a guy and a girl who is staring at me but I only briefly make eye contact. I was focusing on my dogs. Now wasn't the time to be doing neighbor introductions especially with the mood I was in and they were working on the pool.

There was a bang and Zoe took off. Let the dogs in and Dave must have had Kaleb upstairs. I got the dogs there food. Sat on the side porch and wrote my mom an email. The person in tbe car left so went and moved my car. Dave and I haven't spoken. He's laid on his side of the bed and I have laid on mine. Last night I felt so sick. My stomach hurt, I was hot. Felt like I was going to throw up. I had diarrhea. I'm thinking there's a good chance that I have Covid-19. Because there's a pandemic still going on and he takes us to a theme park. Smart thinking. Shake my head.

I get in the shower and come downstairs and sit on the side porch for a few minutes. Had some ice tea. I take a pain pill because I am still having the pain in my right leg in the thigh and like I told my mom it seems to be okay but when I start doing a lot of physical work it's when I really start to feel the pain or being on it a lot because of it being my dominant leg. She told me I should stay off of it but knowing that won't happen until after the weekend. I go inside and lay on the loveseat and checking out Twitter. Dave comes down and comes outside. Smokes a cigarette and goes back upstairs. Hey why not go smoke in Kaleb's room just like you smoke in the car? Anyway, I fell asleep on the loveseat and woke up after midnight. Go up to bed and wrap myself up in the Harley Quinn Blanket that Mark got me. Dave gets up and leaves to go to the bathroom. Honestly I was hoping for Dresden to get in his spot because when he came back in and told him to move I would have told him no. He has more of a right to be where he's at than you do.

He came back in and got into bed. He hasn't said anything to me and I haven't said anything to him. I want to tell him to leave. I'm done. I am thinking he feels the same.

Got up at 4:30am and let Dresden out. Now I will see about Zoe. It's suppose to be hot today and I am not getting involved with Dave and Kaleb's plans that is on them. I will just be in my room taking it easy and relaxing. Have fun asshole.

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torrilin · 4 years ago

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Re: parasites

I have genuinely had actual serious allergic response to the sheer quantity of mosquito bites on me. Not to the point where I needed a hospital, but enough that I needed serious antihistamine drugs to function. This was despite every inch of me being covered in DEET. I have yet to have a similar experience in Europe. Not sure why there’s so many fewer mosquitoes here when the climate is so nice for them.

Since I am very very American, I avoid walking in even mowed grass most of the time. In the US, I expect to pick up regular ticks even if the grass only goes up to my ankles. Also, most “grass” in the US contains delicate native plants that I don’t want to hurt, so if there’s a path I try to use it. Maybe there is some secret place where you find ticks in Dresden? But I actually see people walk through grass often, so maybe not.

Also I don’t think of these guys as parasites most of the time. They’re wildlife. I don’t like them, but they’re wildlife.

Re: metric

Yup, I’ve seen a lot of fic where if they remember metric they use weird measurements. If you mean 6 feet, write 2m. It’ll be fine. Promise.

Also, when I got my Bosch food processor/mixer it was life changing to read through the recipes. Bread called for 1kg flour and all the other ingredients are ones that come in standard size packets in a German grocery store. Really, all the recipes were perfectly logical in how they used standard ingredients. I haven’t done a lot of comparing to French or UK versions, but it’s easy for me to compare a Bosch to an American mixer and for the most part I’d prefer the Bosch’s design in the US. But if I moved back to the US, I could not replace my Bosch with one wired for US current. Bosch only sells a much bigger one that doesn’t offer the features I actually use. I might be able to get a USian knockoff Thermomix or Cookit or whatever the Kenwood version is, but I can’t get a simple MUM5.

Re: French schools

Haven’t studied the French school system since I was in US high school French in the 1990s, but judging from Wikipedia and fountain pen fandom, a lot of it remains about the same. Less purple ink maybe, more freaking out about Islam. But the school divisions seem pretty similar to Germany’s.

Air conditioning... hrm. That’s a difficult one to explain because there’s a bunch of USian stuff stacking in ways that might not make much sense otherwise. So, there’s the bugs. Sensible people do not want malaria. Sensible people do not want Lyme disease. So US houses have screens. But there’s a lot of US land area where it is too cold to safely use those screens most of the year.

Most US housing is built with studs and wallboard and insulation. Opening a window for 10 minutes in the winter when it’s -15C means you let out all the heat and you possibly get hypothermia. The building just plain doesn’t have much thermal mass, it stays warm (barely) due to the windows and doors being kept carefully closed. And -15C is a mild winter.

Additionally, sensible people do not want a house full of mold. Or mildew. And even if you open up the windows, in large areas of the US there would still be Pilzeproblem in both winter and summer. The air just plain averages too humid, so all kinds of surfaces you wouldn’t expect will wind up with mold. Central heating can help mitigate this in winter. But in summer there’s not a lot you can do but use air conditioning.

I agree the sudden shock of overpowered US air conditioning in commercial buildings can be unpleasant. Wearing a wool blazer all summer long is not much fun. But having my asthma set off by mold is also not fun.

Because I’m cranky and trying to distract myself *gestures sadly at everything*...

Many houses in Europe don’t have front doors. The main entrance is in the back or at the side. Not, nobody uses the front door. The thing an American would call the front door physically doesn’t exist. If there is a front door, there’s a stoop, not a porch.

The kind of wooden porches or decks that are common in the US are very rare in Germany, and they’re never at the front door since as previously noted, there is no front door. Where you see them in Germany, it’s on the back of 4, 6 and 8 flat buildings, and only on the upper floors. If there’s a comparable area for a ground floor apartment, it will be concrete, gravel, or paving stones. As near as I can work out, Germany is Not Alone in this. A lot of Europe is incredibly deforested by US standards, so wood is comparatively expensive and stone or tile or brick are comparatively cheaper.

France and the UK are not thousands of miles apart, but more like 13. If you go 1000 miles south of London, you’re somewhere in Spain or the Mediterranean.

Roofs are thatch, slate, tile, or metal. The kind of asphalt shingles Americans are used to are something I’ve literally never seen here.

Many things an American would call an apartment building have shops on the ground floor, most commonly a pharmacy where you can get prescriptions. Many things an American would identify as a house are actually a 4-8 flat apartment building with... yup, shops on the ground floor. No, these two things aren’t exactly congruent. Many apartment buildings look like a fancy house to an American. Things that actually look like an apartment building to an American tend to be inexpensive post WWII housing.

Floors are numbered 0, 1, 2, 3 and so forth, with 0 being the ground floor.

There are trains. I can walk out of my house and over 2 blocks, get on a tram and from there go to the central train station and catch trains that will take me from Dublin to Hong Kong. Not joking. Yes, I am aware there’s open ocean between Germany and Dublin. There’s these things called ferry boats you see... It might not be the easiest thing to book a journey from Germany to Hong Kong, but it’s physically possible. Yes those ferry things mean you can take a train from Germany to Sweden.

Most European countries have shops like CVS that act as convenience stores. In German they’re a Drogeriemarkt. This is NOT a drugstore in the American sense. You can’t get a prescription there. An actual pharmacy where you can get a prescription is a different store, and they don’t sell cleaning supplies, toilet paper and groceries. It’s just prescription and OTC medications for the most part.

Window screens basically don’t exist.

It is very hard to find a laundromat. Normally people have laundry in their house, even in the smallest and cheapest apartments.

There are SO MANY flower shops. No you don’t understand. SO MANY.

If you live in a major city, you kind of have to work at it to live in a neighborhood where you’re more than 1km from a grocery store.

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