#yullen week

[yullen-week]

Yullen Week (s) in Spring will be hosted by xerbreaks!

Submit to tag: #YullenWeek2024 (all one word)

Insta/other platform entries or questions, please send to either xerbreaks (twt only), here, or Discord!

RT | Yullen Week (s) twitter | Discord

[m-kyunie]

starting off yullen week w/a screencap that I choose to over-analyze for my agenda. episode 17

[a-sad-writer]

Written for Yullen Week 2024, prompt: reincarnation

Title: songs

Summery: Sucessful musician Kanda has memories of a past life. In that life he was deeply in love with a young man named Allen. Kanda still loves Allen and he misses him. One day at a concert, he spots him in the audience.

[yullen]

yullen week 🦋 2024 || soulmates

"You're merciless. I want to help them." "Enough of your selfish bullshit! At the cost of your own life?! Don't you have anything you love at all?!"

Loveless-insp AU (many changes)

Your soulmate brands you with a name once spoken. (This name may not actually fit you and may be ironic), but in a way it can be like a curse. → Allen's name, Loveless, later changes to Dearest (the D. in DGM means Dear, lol). Kanda's name, Merciless, changes to...?

The Sacrifice fighting alongside the Battler isn't unheard of, but less common, since the sacrifice generally eventually gets restrained too much to fight. It is more common among same-gender pairs. This pair battles using wordspells to imbue and enhance physical attacks (since they both use weapons).

Kanda and Alma were actually both Zeroes (artificial + feel no pain). Kanda suddenly getting a pair was an unheard of possibility.

At first Kanda resents Allen for this, but even from their first mission, he starts to fall for Allen until eventually Allen Walker becomes the dearest to him. Kanda becomes precious to Allen, too. Was going to lose most everything to save and is overwhelmingly touched by the lengths Kanda would go to save him in turn.

[retweet]

[saint-end]

brother... i just wanted to come in and say that i have been absolutely insane about the kanda/allen/johnny redraw you did in ref to the AW chapters for a week now. the first time i saw it i had to put my phone down and go for a drive. you have risen to my favorite dgm artist and as soon as i have the money i cannot wait to commission yullen from you. have an absolutely wonderful day

brother!! this really made my day!! we are the same, it took so much longer to finish simply because i Had To Go On A Walk to think and ponder and consider. I cant wait to cook up some yullen with you, i'll look forward to it!!

[faery-snow]

My submission for Yullentide! Happy Yule (almost), lovelies. I’m doing the 7 prompts as a single mutlichap for @yullen-week‘s event. Enjoy–here’s the first installment.

Chapters: 1/7 Fandom: D.Gray-man Kanda Yuu/Allen Walker Additional Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Yullen, Make the Yuletide Gay, Angst with a Happy Ending, angsty beans falling in love, friends get involved, Healing, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fight-Flirting, Kanda Yuu makes some very good points, Allen is a very good actor, god help them

Kanda is learning to pull himself out of the darkness, while Allen is falling deeper into it. And deeper in love with Kanda, a feeling which is mutual–not that either of them can see it. Lavi and Lenalee decide their two friends need a push of the romantic kind. A very strong push. Trauma cannot be an excuse to avoid love forever.

~

Lenalee saw black hair whip around a corner and hurried to catch up.

“Kanda!” She said, then yelled, from right beside him.

He begrudgingly glanced at her. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he said. Expression as dead and neutral as always.

“Because of what happened,” she said, panting a little as he sped up and she had to jog. He’d had a growth spurt and his legs were too long for her now. Unfair.

“On the mission,” she said, and his fists tightened. “Everything…I just thought it might bring up old memories. Are you okay?”

Kanda turned suddenly and pushed open a door, Lenalee nearly crashing into the frame as she hastily followed.

Read more.

[simply-m-a-d]

*hands you somft yullen at 4am*

[bnerdler]

WIP Wednesday! 7/14/2021

Here is an excerpt from chapter 2 of the Yullen soulmate AU that I'm working on. Enjoy!

“I can’t believe you can drink something so boring.” Allen says as he watches Kanda sip the warm green tea that he brought for him. Kanda sits in his chair at his desk and Allen had pulled over an extra chair to sit with him.

“Not my fault that you can’t appreciate something unless its syrup.” Kanda throws back eyeing the drink in Allen’s hand. He’s wearing gloves again. He’s curious, but not enough to ask about it. When Allen takes a drink, he fully turns away from Kanda to raise his mask just enough to drink from it. It’s making Kanda feel like a spring being wound tighter and tighter.

“I can appreciate things!” Allen says. “It’s you who’s too stupid and pretentious, stupid Kanda.”

“Me?” Kanda scoffs.

Just then there’s a loud crash from the Chief’s office. Lieutenant Reever comes running out of Komui’s office chased by a drone.

“Chief, stop! I didn’t mean it!” Reever yells, covering his head with his arms from the drones whizzing blades. Komui comes out of his office with a proud grin and the controller held firmly in his hands.

“You can’t take my drones away!” Komui laughs after his cowering Trigger. His beret is slightly skewed on his head. “They’re too strong, Reever!”

“Komui, that’s dangerous inside the office!”

“What the hell is going on?” Allen looks on the scene with wide eyes. Kanda sighs and puts his cup down on his desk. Then he grabs a pen. Turning to the drone as it menacingly nose dives down at Lieutenant Reever, Kanda lines up the shot. He throws the pen like a spear right into the spinning blades of the drone. The thing shakes in the air for a second, before falling to the ground right next to Reever. The man scoops up the drone and runs off.

“Reever wait! Bring back my baby!” Komui wails. Then the Chief turns to Kanda. “How dare you injure my child, Kanda”

“Don’t terrorize your soulmate, Chief.” Lavi pipes up from his desk. He doesn’t look up from their files he’s already working on. Hopefully they can finish editing the hundreds of pages long file by the end of the day. Komui pouts till his eyes land on Allen watching the whole thing unfold.

“Allen Walker? Is that you?” Komui says, coming over to Kanda’s desk.

“Yes, I’m just visiting, sir.” Allen says so politely that it makes Kanda’s head snap to the Beansprout.

“Really? What’s with the mask? Are you sick?” Komui asks in rapid fire succession.

“Oh, it’s because…” Allen starts, looking over to Kanda shyly. This sudden change in Allen is so jarring to Kanda he almost drops the cup of tea he’d just picked back up. Allen clasps his own drink in front of him with two hands and looks up at Komui with respect.

“He’s Yuu’s Trigger.” Lavi leans over his desk, files abandoned now in order to join in the conversation, obviously finding far more entertainment in this than their work. This reveal doesn’t stun Komui, no doubt because Lenalee told him already. Instead, he turns to Kanda then with a look on his face like he’s trying to solve an intricate puzzle or win a difficult game of chess.

“He is, huh?” Komui says. “That certainly is interesting.”

“Lenalee already told you. Stop giving me that look.” Kanda says sharply. Komui calmly holds Kanda’s glare for a second before checking his watch.

“Oh, look at the time! Allen, don’t you have a class to teach soon? Do you need a ride to campus?” Komui asks. Allen whips out his phone from the pocket of his pants to check the time.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Allen starts to gather his bag from it’s spot on the floor next to Kanda’s. “No, thank you for the ride, sir, I’ll just catch the bus from here!”

Kanda sits up stiffly. Bus? The Beansprout doesn’t drive?

“Will you make it in time?”

“Yeah, yes, sir. I will.” Allen says, getting up from the chair. He waves to Lavi before turning to Kanda once more. His eyes lock with Allen’s under his mop of white hair, and colors start to bloom in a halo around his head. The blue of the police insignia on the wall behind him, the bright yellow of his shirt, the pink of Allen’s ears, the red of his scar. Allen breathlessly says, “Bye.”

Once again, Kanda is left to watch him go, fingers itching with touch, want, keep. The colors that had so briefly been in view, fade out of sight as Allen gets on the elevator. When he’s left in just the black and the gray, he barely feels the warmth of the cup of tea in his hand.

“So,” Komui turns to him inquisitively. “You have another soulmate.”

“Komui.” Kanda warns, the alarms in his head warning him that Komui might say something that’s too far, too much.

“Does he know?” Komui continues despite Kanda’s warning. “Have you told him about Alma?”

The name coming out of his superior’s mouth sets his blood on fire.

“Allen doesn’t know, and he doesn’t need to know. He’s not my fucking soulmate.” Kanda seethes. He slams his cup down onto his desk. Some of the tea splashes past the lid and onto his hand. He ignores how it burns on his skin.

“Oh, Kanda…” Komui stares at him with sadness brewing in his eyes.

“If you don’t mind, Chief,” He emphasizes Komui’s title. “Go back to your office so I can get to work.”

Komui makes the smart decision to leave back to his office. Kanda goes back to the pile of papers on his desk, stewing in his anger.

“You’re really not gonna tell Allen?” Lavi says. Kanda cuts a glare up at his partner. “He deserves to know, you know.”

No. No he doesn’t. He doesn’t need to know anything.

[damn-scarhead]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. Learn to know your mutuals and followers! (This is only if you want to 🧘🏻‍♀️💙)

Awww Bani 🥺♥️

Okay in no particular order

1: Tea! All kind of tea, I'm not picky (tho I do favor black tea more)

2: My cat. The love of my life. Such a sweet angel.

3: Talking to my loved ones (family, friends, crush, etc..)

4: Interacting with fandom related stuff (writing, talking, reading, buying, etc...)

5: Music. Putting on some upbeat songs always lift my mood.

Bonus:

6: Being useful/helping someone. Dunno it makes me ridiculously happy when I've helped someone and they thank me for it.

[kitty-bandit]

I always say there are twice as many Yullen fics as there are Laven fics on AO3, but I cannot believe there are literally twice as many Yullen fics as Laven fics on AO3.

[josyuss]

*aggressively cares*

[yullen-week]

(tweet)

I've been super busy moving so the next one will be hosted by Zeph @xerbreaks & Mimi.... who don't use tumblr so I'll repost when I have time.

[aoimitsu]

It's been a while since I've actually written anything but I wanted to get something out for @yullen-week no matter how late.

SUMMARY: Allen remembers the pain of goodbyes, seen it with his own eyes. But he holds his memories close to his heart so that he never forgets.

RATING: T

[a-sad-writer]

Year after year I want to participate in these fandom events, royed week or sebaciel whatever or yullen stuff, but each year I either don't have time or I don't have any ideas for the prompts. Or both!

[yullen]

amelioration in yours truly

18-19th: Amelioration   » The act of relieving ills and changing for the better

AO3

The words that he had left never told to others, he wonders how, of all people, Kanda Yuu managed to spill forth from him.

He kept persisting, kept chasing, no matter how much Allen pushed him away, and when the words started to come out, they just kept pouring out like water out of a fissure from an already fragile and cracked vase.

He supposed he just never really had the opportunity. Nobody really sat down and really took the time to ask him; he’d never had the time to explain. His entire life, he spent running forward in one long, breathless sprint, never really having a moment to rest.

So naturally, he had been shocked beyond belief that Kanda Yuu, again, of all people, found the patience to do this with him.

Why?

And how?

He had a million questions. There was no way this had been the same Kanda Yuu he knew, right?

The way he had opened himself up to listen. It took Allen a second to realize he had still been holding in his breath. Even the way the man sat at his side was unbelievably elegant, giving him a look of inquisitiveness he had never seen on the other’s face.

When had he changed like this?

What made him change?

He opened his mouth to speak.

––—∞—––

The pain in his voice was audible in the pauses between memories and in the silence left behind, but this wasn’t something Kanda wasn’t already familiar with.

Past wounds and scars. Allen’s past was riddled with uncertainties, and he had to live with the dissatisfaction of not having many answers.

Allen thought it had been a miracle that Kanda didn’t simply say “Okay, enough,” or stomp off, or act like he stopped listening. He had reacted, and he had scowled and sometimes said “Idiot,” while scoffing while they bickered very briefly, but they stayed on topic until Allen was finished.

After it all, he heard a breath of exasperation. Allen almost chuckled and laughed, just a tiny breath out his nose, as he combed his hair out of his eyes with his hand, and looked upon Kanda with a fondness he didn’t even notice he had shown.

“Shit doesn’t add up,” Kanda said.

And from there, the idiots talked it over as much as the idiots could and knew how.

But at least they knew in which direction to go from there.

Towards this mysterious manor in Allen’s memories, Kanda stepped towards, and Allen smiled and followed behind in step.

“Thank you, Kanda.”

“Don’t mention it. I mean it.”

Allen laughed.

“…Ah.” Kanda remembered.

“Hm?”

“I just… remembered what I told Tiedoll.”

––—∞—––

“I mean, it’s not really all that unbelievable,” Johnny said at the bar.

“But you were listening! He just sat there! And talked to me! Properly! He hated me, remember? I mean, I think he still really dislikes me, but…” Allen trailed off as he took another sip of his drink, milk seeping onto his tongue with the pleasant mixed bitter taste of coffee.

“You should have seen him as we were looking for you. One time when he was drunk, he had been ranting off about all the things he would do to you when he found you.” Johnny propped up his coke bottle glasses. “Oh, like how he would pin you down and make you explain yourself, or how dare you do all that for him and then be such a pain to track down. Or how…” Johnny continued to explain how Kanda would do this and that.

It was super embarrassing, and Allen couldn’t help but blush a little at the wording, as he thought ‘It’s nothing,’ and didn’t read into it.

“And then the next morning, he said, ‘How dare that beansprout give me this hangover.’”

Allen lightly slammed the counter and exclaimed with reddish cheeks, “How is that my fault!”

“My point is, I think he cares a lot,” Johnny claimed making a sign like ‘Eureka!’ with his hand.

“Since… when…” Allen asked, covering his face with one hand.

Johnny shrugged, deciding not to bring up moments in the past where he and others in the Science Department decided not to say anything.

“But I’m glad you guys had a proper talk with each other. Maybe the General said something, but after that… I feel like he had grown up a bit.” Johnny took another swig of his beer and took another bite of his burger. Swallowing, he said, the look in his eyes calmer and more serious, “Ever since he came back, he also surprised me with how much he changed! It’s like he’s walking around now free of the burden of what happened back in the East Asia branch.”

“…”

“In fact, let me tell you what he said when I asked him why he came back…”

––—∞—––

“Yuu-kun, I know you’re anxious to meet up again with the Walker boy, but he will be okay on his own,” Tiedoll consoled.

“For the last time, I’m not sad I couldn’t go with him!” Kanda yelled.

About ten metres away, Marie looked up at the shout and answered it with a silent look. Even he didn’t believe Kanda.

“I’m fucking serious!” Kanda exclaimed. Then he let out a loud breath of complaint. “I’m going to seek different answers on my own. We’ll meet up on the same path. It’s just more fucking efficient this way.”

“Mhmm.”

“Stop looking at me like that,” Kanda demanded irritably.

Tiedoll simply smiled.

“You two spoke, didn’t you?” Tiedoll asked fondly.

“So what?”

“I’m proud.”

Kanda was confused at that response.

“You two are learning how to communicate with each other instead of simply arguing, my boy. That’s a step in the right direction. You’re growing into an adult.”

Kanda let out a ‘tch—’ sound through gritted teeth. “I’m already an adult!” eventually retorted, to which Tiedoll only patted him on the shoulders as if he were still fourteen.

After all, none of them had the chance to live normal lives between all the battles and missions they were assigned. While it was true they had handled horrors beyond those of adults, it had only been natural some skills would have been more stunted than others.

Tiedoll had been unable to levy such heavy chains and burdens from the young man’s back. Such chains he had locked up on his past, Kanda stubbornly refusing to budge, reflect, or remember.

The anger tore at the edges of his mind, and hatred made his soul heavy.

The reunion with Alma…

In the end, Tiedoll was simply immensely glad Kanda was finally freed from those chains.

He was thankful to Allen Walker.

Hearing his dear disciple’s continued mutters, he grinned again as he wondered what there was here between these two boys. Much had changed, from the impression he had, and he had never seen his disciple act this way with another.

“What is it, General?” Marie had asked.

“Nothing. Just mulling over our dear Yuu-kun’s spring of youth.”

Marie had a question on his face. “Is this about Allen?”

“Ah, so it’s not just me.”

––—∞—––

Sometimes, Allen would feel Kanda’s absence. It was pronounced.

More pronounced than he anticipated.

Something was building. He wasn’t sure what. He huffed the cold into his hands, looking up at the sky.

It would be okay, they were all heading towards the same goal and direction.

It was difficult for Allen to not settle into what he had accepted would be his natural state of being alone. He feels it, consciously. He can tell himself that he isn’t, but it’s difficult making himself believe it.

He grew up in solitude for much of his childhood when he wasn’t by Mana’s side, after all. And General Cross was certainly family in a way to him, but he certainly didn’t know how to raise a child. In that respect, he can’t say Cross made him feel less lonely.

And now even Cross was gone.

But his family in the Order, Lenalee, Komui, Reever and the others in the Science Department… Miranda, Marie, all of them, would be on the other side.

Sometimes when he has time to breathe, he would worry about Lavi, too. He had no idea where he was or if he was okay, he can only pray the Bookman foresaw such a situation and they were simply secretly and safely tucked away.

He heard a step, and Link was walking up to him along with Johnny. Kanda had already revealed to Allen that Link was alive. He ignored Link with an exaggerated snub, still pissed at him for letting him think he was dead. Link sighed, but smiled as Allen looked away as he remembered how Allen had initially reacted.

Johnny tapped his shoulder with a bright smile, and a gentle warmth welled up within him with his companions at his side and his comrades connected to him by the sky.

Johnny was his constant reminder of “You’re not alone, you’re not alone.” He wouldn’t dare let Allen forget it.

To say that things were difficult were an understatement.

Allen was determined not to disappear. Even so… Even so, fear crept in his shadow. It was simply natural. Tragedy pervaded his life and he didn’t want to lose anyone else. But he never wanted to stop caring, either.

At least he was glad that Link was alive, but his worries were endless.

And he wasn’t at his side. He wasn’t sure if he felt less or more safe without Kanda. On one hand, he wouldn’t hurt Kanda. On the other, Kanda was reliable and…

‘Huh?’ Allen caught himself thinking that, shaking his had and trying to stop wanting for it, wondering why he did.

Link raised his eyebrows as he observed Walker looking into the distance again, and then shaking it off, and then doing it again later throughout the day.

––—∞—––

“Are you stupid?” Lavi asked.

Surprisingly, on their journey, Lavi had turned up out of nowhere with memories missing and he had no idea how he had turned up there. Link had been heavily suspicious to the point where even Lavi didn’t trust himself.

Allen saw Link’s point, but at the very least, at least Lavi was safe. Allen’s first instinct was to run, but he couldn’t make the same mistake again. Kanda would march right back and flay him if he did after the scolding he gave him.

(Or maybe it would be fine if he did.)

(Maybe they would let Kanda come back now.)

“What?” Allen asked indignantly.

“You explained all that, and you still can’t figure out why he changed?” Lavi asked with his arms folded behind his head.

“I mean. I can understand that I helped him back during the incident with Alma, but…” Allen said as he had his hands on his nose.

“I think you know, you just want someone to reaffirm it to you.”

“…” Allen couldn’t deny it.

“It’s because of you. There, I said it.”

Allen muttered a quiet thanks.

“Wow, I still can’t believe you’re talking about the same guy. Yuu? Really? You actually managed to pull the stick out of his ass? That is so impressive! I mean. Wow, I don’t even know where to begin. He sounds like… well.”

“Hn?”

“Well, this is going to sound ridiculous, but if it really was like as you say it was, he sounds like he likes you.”

“What???” Allen asked in utter disbelief.

“Hey, listen. Don’t shoot the messenger.” Lavi put up his hands.

Allen only sputtered. He chose to believe that what Lavi meant was what he thought was more likely. “I don’t know. I don’t know if we can become friends now.”

“You know what I mean.”

Allen opened his mouth, and then blushed. “It’s definitely not like that.”

“Uhuh. Also, you told him everything, but not the rest of us?”

“I… He just asked.”

“He influenced you too. He got you to open up,” Lavi pointed out. “Tell us later too.”

Allen nodded after a moment. “Of course.”

Lavi then chattered and then continued to ask for more gossip with the Order, and asking for more information about the others, and if anyone else would know anything about where the old man was.

––—∞—––

The sky continued to change.

As Kanda looked up above, remembers the same sky he saw back then, when he first broke through to the surface.

He wondered what Allen’s side is doing. His hands grasped the first key, and he made his way back to find him again.

Under those changing clouds from far away, the light flickered in silver eyes to and back from gold.

Kanda refused to get there too late.

He chased the unending sky.

[chomesuke]

Hey @emoqueee!!! I’m your dgm secret santa!

@dgmsecretsanta2k17

Prompts: "subtle yullen fluff writing omg. But also just a cute portrait of a single character would also be nice (i know this is the number one spot i dont mind either!) "2 characters interacting!"

I think I managed both subtle yullen and fluff?? I don’t know. I’m too tired to tell right now. Also, I hope you like dogs. Because I gave them a dog.

Allen was sitting on the back porch of Komui and Lenalee’s house, and watching Kanda garden while an enormous puppy tried to “help”, and for the first time in a while Allen was truly content.

The sun was shining brightly golden in a sunset glow. It made the scene feel like something from a fairy tale, if fairy tale characters were in the habit of swearing loudly and viciously as they tried to stop a dog almost as big as them from destroying all the plants. Despite his language, Kanda was gentle as he repeatedly pulled the puppy away from whatever destruction she was wreaking.

It wasn’t long before he gave up and turned to Allen, who was watching them with a wide, stretching grin. ‘Your dog is a menace, beansprout. Take her away before I kill you for bringing her here.’

Allen waved his hand lazily. ‘You don’t mean that,’ he said. ‘And Muffin’s just trying to be helpful. You might as well let her.’

Muffin’s tail thumped against the ground when she heard her name.

‘Maybe her “help” is useful for someone you, you one-armed bastard, but these vegetables are supposed to be used for our food, not some mongrel’s playground.’ Kanda was glaring at Allen, but while he restrained Muffin it was also possible to see that he was trying to sneakily pet her.

It was cute to see someone as grumpy as Kanda being a dog person. It made Allen want to laugh at him, and leave her there because it was obvious neither dog nor grump truly hated it. But...

Food. He could not let her ruin the food. Allen stood up so suddenly that he felt a little dizzy. ‘Muffin!’ he called, holding out his hand. She perked up immediately, and bounded out of Kanda’s arms, her tongue lolling out into a sweet doggy grin. She was smart enough to realise that knocking into people was bad, so she slowed down just before crashing into him, and tried to wash his face in her excitement instead. The drool got everywhere.

‘Even now after all this time, when you don’t even have your parasitic innocence making you have to eat so much, food is still the most important thing to you.’ Kanda followed behind her, rolling his eyes. Apparently being close to the dog was more important than fixing the vegetable garden.

‘That’s not true!’ Allen protested, wiping dog slobber off his face with his sleeve. ‘Money is important too! And my friends!’

‘So what? Food and money are more important than us?’ Kanda flopped down next to him and Muffin, somehow making his casual movements look graceful. His hair was let down and he wore a smirk as his expression. He looked beautiful in the lighting. It really was only the lighting that made Allen think that. Probably.

‘Oh? You consider yourself my friend, Kanda? That’s news to me.’ Allen was smirking too, only stopping to pop a sweet into his mouth from the open bag he had on his other side.

‘Fuck you,’ was Kanda’s only reply. He leant back on both hands and stared up at the sky above their heads and he smiled just a little when Muffin dropped down and rested her snout on his lap, watching him imploringly with her big dark eyes.

Allen was close to popping another sweet in his mouth when Kanda smiled, and he froze instead, his hand with the sweet just centimetres from his mouth.

‘What are you doing?’ Kanda frowned when he noticed Allen staring at him.

Allen tore his gaze away and went back to munching, saying nothing.

‘The beansprout’s being weird,’ Kanda told Muffin, his voice gravely serious. ‘I’m sorry you have such a weird owner.’

Muffin let out a whine in response and snuggled closer to him.

‘Even after all this time, you can’t be bothered calling my by name.’

‘That’s because beansprout suits you better, beansprout.’

Allen wanted to punch Kanda for that, but didn’t for fear of dislodging or upsetting Muffin, so he settled on petting her instead. She was covered in dirt from playing in the garden, and Allen’s hand came away dirty. She wasn’t so dirty as to need a bath, so Allen decided that he would steal Kanda’s hairbrush and to brush it all out.

‘Where’d you even find her?’ Kanda wondered.

‘Ah.’ Allen frowned and didn’t look at Kanda. ‘I’ve said before that I tried joining a circus again for a bit, right?’

‘Huh? Yeah. Were they stupid enough there to mistake her for a circus elephant or something?’

‘I don’t think anyone would be that stupid,’ Allen said drily. ‘But no, she was the ringmaster’s dog. He didn’t treat her very well though, and…’ Allen shrugged his shoulders, and tried to keep any emotion leaking out from his voice. ‘It reminded me of when I was a child. Of the original Allen, and everything else too.’ Even now Allen didn’t like to talk about back then.

As if sensing some distress, Muffin stood up and licked his face. Her nose was wet and cold against his cheek and she ended up getting some of his hair in her mouth.

Allen scratched her gently behind her ears, and laughed. It was half genuine.

Kanda was watching them, looking even more annoyed than usual, but it wasn’t Allen or Muffin he was annoyed at. ‘I hope you punched him.’

‘Of course!’ Allen said, indignant. ‘He was a bastard. He even told me that I should be a part of a freak show instead of a clown because I only had one arm. And then I stole his dog.’ He smiled at Muffin who sat on him in response. Being a very giant newfoundland dog, she was very heavy, and her great big paws dug in hard.

Allen had trouble pushing her off with one hand, but Kanda came to the rescue and distracted her with one of the dog toys that had been left everywhere around the entire place in the few days that Allen had come to stay with the Lee siblings.

‘Pathetic, beansprout, and you used to call yourself an exorcist.’ Kanda didn’t look at him, too busy starting a game of tug of war with Muffin, who boofed happily.

‘Hey! I haven’t been an exorcist for years now! You try doing everything one handed.’

‘I have lost an arm before, if you don’t remember.’ Kanda’s face screwed up in concentration as Muffin tried to pull his arms out of their sockets.

‘Oh,’ said Allen, who had forgot. ‘Sorry.’

‘Whatever. So what are you going to do now, join yet another circus?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Then stay here.’

‘What?’

‘I said stay here,’ said Kanda, finally retrieving the toy and throwing it for Muffin to chase after. ‘Lenalee misses you whenever you leave, and it’s not like you ever look all that happy about what you do when you’re gone.’

Kanda was sort of right, but Allen didn’t want to admit that. ‘You’re sure you’re not the one missing me instead of Lenalee?’

‘What?’ Kanda’s eyes went wide, and his face was all confused and surprised and maybe angry and a bunch of other words Allen didn’t bother with right then. ‘Why would I…? Who the hell would miss you, beansprout?’

‘As you just said before, Lenalee. Oh, and also you. You’re not very in touch with your feelings, you know that, Kanda?’

Kanda grabbed Allen by his shirt, and Allen might be worried right then if Kanda still had his mugen. Luckily, he didn’t, so Allen grinned mockingly at him instead.

Kanda gritted his teeth and was about to say something, to turn their talk into a proper argument, when Muffin returned, bounding up the stairs and shoving herself between their bodies.

She whined pitifully and stared at them. Don’t fight, her big dark eyes seemed to say.

‘Okay,’ Allen said after a moment. ‘No fighting. Got it.’

‘I suppose I can stop myself from cutting the beansprout’s head off if it keeps Muffin happy,’ Kanda agreed.

‘What was that, bastard?’

‘Fuck off,’ Kanda replied. ‘And don’t think I didn’t notice that you ignored the second part of what I said.’

Allen wondered if dinner would be ready soon.

‘Hey. Don’t ignore me.’

Allen wondered what there would be for pudding.

‘Hey, Muffin. Do you think your owner died? I think you should bite him to check.’

‘Kanda! Don’t be such a bad influence!’ Allen slung his arm around Muffin’s neck and told her not to listen to a thing Kanda said, because it was all rubbish, okay? Muffin just panted contentedly.

‘So you were listening,’ Kanda said.

‘Shut up.’

‘Then tell me why you always leave even though it always makes you miserable. It’s not like you have to, idiot.’

‘Fuck off,’ Allen muttered.

‘Allen.’

Kanda’s voice shocked Allen. Hearing his name in Kanda’s voice shocked Allen. It made him shudder. He was a little bit relieved then, that Kanda almost never used it. Because it would be weird if he reacted like he did then every time it was used.

It also showed how serious he was.

‘Are you going to punch me if I don’t say anything?’ Allen asked dully, keeping his attention focused entirely on playing with Muffin’s shaggy black fur.

‘So you do have a brain.’ Kanda leant against the porch railing, and he watched him, his eyes level and never looking away. The sensation of being watched was strong and impossible to ignore.

Allen fidgeted, silent still before giving up.

‘Is there really a place for me here?’ Allen asked in a small voice.

‘You seriously have to ask that?’ Kanda stared. But it was a different stare than before. Like he was just baffled more than anything. Oh. That was probably exactly what he was feeling.

Allen fidgeted, uncomfortable.

Kanda’s confusion lasted a few moments more before he rolled his eyes and made that irritated ‘tch’ noise he sometimes did. ‘There’s already way too many people staying here and they all love you for some reason. There’s no way they wouldn’t want you here.’

There was silence while Allen digested those words. Then he started talking again, ‘I feel like I can’t stay still. Like I have to be out there doing something. But I can’t be an exorcist any longer, and for so long that was my reason to keep living. I don’t know what to do anymore.’ It was a small relief to say that out loud.

‘Why do you have to do anything?’

‘Never stop walking,’ Allen said. ‘Keep moving forward.’ He shook his head. ‘Even now I don’t want to abandon those words.’

‘Then stay here while you figure out what to do next, idiot.’ Kanda spoke like what he was saying was completely obvious. And maybe it was.

‘Huh?’

‘It’s not like you have to be moving around to actually do anything. And besides, after all that time we spent fighting, it’s all right to take a break, for a while at least.’ Kanda was staring at the horizon, where the sun was disappearing.

‘Do you want me to stay, Kanda?’

‘Everyone wants you to fucking stay, beansprout. Even Lavi misses you whenever he turns up.’ Kanda wasn’t looking Allen in the eyes now, and it irritated him.

‘No. Do you want me stay?’

Kanda said nothing, uncomfortably looking anywhere but at Allen.

‘If you tell me you want me to stay, then I will, for a while at least.’ Allen said it seriously. A break… time to relax, and laugh with friends… it sounded nice.

‘Stay,’ Kanda finally said, after a minute or two, his voice quiet.

‘What? Kanda, you might have to repeat that. I didn’t hear you.’

‘What, are you deaf as well as annoying now?’ Kanda scowled at him.

Kanda was still grumbling when Allen stood up. Muffin cocked her head, confused as he moved. Allen sat again, but this time right next to Kanda, leaving no space between their bodies. Kanda was frowning, obviously confused by Allen’s actions, yet he didn’t move away when Allen leant his head on his shoulder. Muffin padded after him and curled her large body against their backs.

‘What are you doing, beansprout?’ Kanda asked, voice wary.

‘Nothing,’ said Allen. ‘I was just thinking that the sun sets so early these days, and that it might be nice to spend whatever time there is enjoying myself.’

Kanda sighed, and didn’t offer any reply. Instead he curled an arm around Allen, and that was enough of an answer itself. Dinner would be soon, food to be eaten, and friends happy to see him, but for now Allen was content to stay still.