#youshouldnthavethiseffectonme

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

The thing is that when people tell me they really care about me and think professional help would help me, all i hear is his voice telling me i need help. It’s nice that people care and i can’t blame them for not knowing since i’ve never told any of the about him, but i don’t want help because then he has won. All he ever used to tell me was i was disgusting, no one liked me or loved me, and that i needed serious help. If i get help, even though he is gone, he has won. 

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

I'm sitting out in the dark wishing you were here.

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

Person: a person shouldn't have that much of an affect on you. Me: believe me I know

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

I know most people would say I'm dramatic or I'm fine but the truth is I'm broken. I am way more broken then I ever let on. I've slowly been breaking more and more over the years, but I always keep it in because that's what I've learned to do. My feelings haven't mattered in the past so why should they now? I'm broken and you are the only one that can keep me together and I'm pretty sure you don't know.

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

I'm only human 😭

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

I think I should stop these so this will be the last message about this.....hopefully. Why does it have to be this way? Why can't I be enough? Why can't it be simple?

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

If its the right thing to do why does it hurt so much?

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

I saw him again today after like 8 years of not seeing eachother. He looked at me and smirked. He makes me want to hate myself. Just after i was getting somewhere with moving on he comes back and sets me right back at the beginning. I couldn't function properly all day or breath properly. I was terrified of seeing him again. My day was horrible yet you made it seem so much better just by talking to me. You made my day seem less horrible just by spending a few hours with me. His face still remains in my head but your calming voice is slowly making it easier to breath.

[wewill-meetagain-oneday]

It's not fair