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femmmie · 10 months ago

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A little bit of madness

A retelling of the story of Smosh, through Shayne's eyes. And there's a lot of one-sided pining, internal turmoil and jealousy. I hope you like it!

read on ao3

It's so crazy. I am happy for them of course. But how do you come back from having your friendship so destroyed, so betrayed, to being best friends again?

Shayne got a notification. He sat in the lunch room at the Defy building after filming a Smosh sketch. He looked at the e-mail he just received on his phone. His colleagues were all gasping, yelling and some were even crying. Everyone had gotten the same message:

"Effective immediately, Defy Media has ceased business."

It's not like he hadn't seen this coming. Shayne knew enough of the entertainment business that the 'business' side of it was stone cold and creatives were pretty much at the mercy of the machine.

But it still shocked him. He was finally free of his own worst demons - telling him he had failed in Hollywood, that he wasn't trying hard enough - and had settled into the grind that was Smosh.

He had finally found a home.

But now, now everything, his whole life, was crumbling around him. He watched, helplessly, as people started to day-drink, attempting arson and generally acting like it was the Purge.

Who was he, what was he, without Smosh?

As Shayne stood there, nailed to the ground, he suddenly felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Hey man. This sucks, doesn't it."

Shayne turned around and saw Ian there. He'd almost forgotten about Ian. This must be so much worse for him right now. First his best friend Anthony left him and Smosh, now this...

"So, is this it for Smosh?"

"No. We will overcome this, Shayne. I will make sure of it, I promise."

Shayne saw a look behind Ian's glasses, that he hadn't seen before. A little bit of madness, maybe. But also a fiery determination. And Shayne believed him. Ian's vow moved him. He didn't know him like this, like a leader. It made Shayne want to follow Ian to the end of the world if need be.

"How can I help?"

"Well, right now, people are ransacking the whole building. I'd say we save as much as we can and then get the hell out of here."

"Already on it." Courtney passed them, arms full of office supplies.

"Are you ransacking or saving?" Shayne joked.

"Come with me to find out!"

Shayne grabbed as many supplies as he could and scuttled after Courtney. When they got outside, two large moving trucks stood ready.

"How can you think so fast, Courtney? This is amazing."

"You know," they said, raising their shoulders. "I have kind of seen this coming."

"Yeah, me too."

"So, what comes after this, you think?" Courtney wasn't their usual cheery self. They were probably just as stressed out as Shayne was, no doubt. Their face was a bit paler than usual, and they looked at him for answers.

But Shayne genuinely didn't know.

"Ian will get us through this," he said determinately.

The following months, Ian really came through. Apart from working tirelessly behind the scenes to save the channels, he also invited the cast and crew to his house, just to party but also to work. He paid them himself.

Shayne grew more and more fond of Ian, but he didn't quite know how to communicate with him. He was such a mystery. Ian was struggling though, that much was clear. Shayne would always be the last one around to help tidy up and try to talk to Ian. But it was usually in vain.

"Hey Ian, so, how are you doing?"

Shayne took a sip of his beer. They stood on Ian's balcony.

"Yeah, pretty great. Ya know, I don't have a life, love or any free time, haha. As per yoush."

It was this kind of thing that made it impossible for Shayne to get through. Ian always hid behind irony.

"Oh, that sounds just great," Shayne joined in. "And yeah, same here."

They toasted.

"Has.... has Anthony contacted you?"

"Yeah, he texted me."

No elaboration. Shayne didn't dare to ask further.

"Hmm, okay."

Time went on. Ian showed up so extremely well, he made a deal with Mythical Entertainment, and Smosh was saved. Even during lockdown, he still got the cast and crew together, via Zoom or somewhere outside on an L.A. property. He made it work.

And just like Shayne had, everyone put their faith in Ian. Ian himself though, seemed very lonely, however hard everyone tried to connect with him. Shayne was desperate to help Ian somehow. He did wat he could. He worked tirelessly, putting his everything into the videos. And it did have an effect. The audience loved him and steadily grew.

The stronger Shayne felt about Ian, the more he started to resent Anthony. It seemed like Anthony was still there, or his absence was there, very tangibly. Of course Shayne joked about it all the time. It was a way for him to vent.

Anthony had always been nice to Shayne. When he first came to work for Smosh, he'd been perfectly pleasant.

But Shayne knew how to read people. And while Ian was impenetrable, Anthony was extremely easy figure out.

Anthony didn't like Shayne. He didn't want him to be there at the time, him or any of the other new cast. But he didn't just leave the company, he also left his best friend. Because at first Ian believed Anthony would still be in touch. When that appeared not to be the case, Ian had faded into the background. That is, until he saved the company from the brink of death.

Lately, something was different. But Shayne didn't know what it was. Ian seemed extremely happy, very out of character, or maybe back IN character, whichever it was. Even though he still didn't communicate well, Shayne was happy for him. To see him be so funny, to see him finally doing something about his wardrobe and fitness. Maybe he'd met someone... Shayne didn't quite know why that thought annoyed him.

"Can you believe how good Ian looks today?" Tommy whispered. They stood at the coffee corner.

"Yeah, it's amazing. He's transforming before our eyes. What is happening?"

"All I know is, I'm in love."

"You're always in love with everyone," Shayne joked.

"Yeah, I am still into you too, mister Topp, don't you worry," Tommy joked back. Then he looked at Ian again, who was talking to Courtney across the room. Shayne looked as well. Ian was talking animatedly, making jokes. Courtney was losing it laughing. They kept fixing their hair unnecessarily. Flirting behavior.

"Well, that's the end of Let's Do This."

Ian gave a speech for the cameras, and everyone who worked on the show came on screen to say farewell to the successful format. Why it had to be axed, Shayne didn't know. It was a lot of work to make, but the final product was so cool, so fresh and had such a high production value, it was totally worth it in his mind.

"This show is ending for a very good reason," Ian continued.

Shayne had no idea. Just that every show on the main channel was getting axed and they were given a holiday after this shoot. Was he still gonna have a job after this?

Shayne fell into a hole again mentally, during the break. He was overthinking everything, overanalyzing. Was Ian happy because he was going to use Smosh main to do his own show and break away from Pit and Games? Was he selling it off for cash? What was he up to?

Shayne went to work out to get his mind off things. When he got out of the gym, he saw Ian had called him. He called back.

"Hey man, how's the holiday?" Ian said in a cheery voice.

"Yeah, it's pretty good. How about you?"

"I'm really good! In fact, do you wanna come over?"

Shayne's hart suddenly raced. Was Ian inviting him to a private dinner?

"Um, I don't know, uhh," he stumbled over his words.

"It's about Smosh, I want to talk to you about some stuff, it's pretty important."

Oh. So it was just work. Was Ian going to tell him he didn't have a job anymore? Suddenly, Shayne's appetite had vanished.

"I'm sorry Ian, I'm on vacation right now, I will talk to you when I get back. Okay?"

"Yeah, no worries man!"

"Holy shit."

Shayne stood nailed to the ground once more. What had just happened? The room around him was erupting in cheers and claps. People were laughing, some even cried. Ian and Anthony were hugging and high-fiving. They just bought Smosh.

"What are they gonna do? What do they think of me and Courtney, and Keith and Noah, and Amanda and Arasha and Angela and Olivia and Chanse and... what are we gonna do?"

Shayne's rambling thoughts were disrupted by a warm hand on his shoulder. It was Ian. And Anthony.

"Dude, your face!" Anthony joked and laughed. Apparently Shayne had worn a shocked expression.

"Wow, man, I'm just processing this, haha! Congratulations! Ian, this is amazing!"

Shayne hugged Ian, maybe a bit too tightly, too greedy. Anthony's negative micro-expression in his peripheral vision. Or did he just hallucinate that?

Ian though, smiled widely, and patted his shoulder.

"So, this is what I had wanted to talk to you about," he said.

"Yeah, I get that now, hahaha!" Shayne boomed. He was slowly settling into this new reality. Everything seemed a bit different. A little brighter, a little more intense. Exciting, sure. But it was very new. Very uncertain for Shayne.

Shayne was at home. He was watching the interview Ian did with Anthony.

"And if we burn it to the ground, I'm happy to do that with you."

Shayne's heart broke.

"Wow, he really loves him, doesn't he." Shayne replayed that sentence a couple of times. So that's why Ian had been so much happier lately. He was going around scheming with Anthony for the big reveal and their purchase of the company. It had nothing to do with him. He had been utterly unable to help Ian, and was now just a spectator to his joy and happiness.

"I guess that's how it is, huh."

At the office, Ian and Anthony - when he was there, as he also still had his own channel to worry about - were like two puppy dogs, playing, prancing, obsessed with each others' butts... Shayne had never seen Ian in this mood. What was it? Ecstatic?

"Hey, Shayne." It was Tommy.

"Hey. So, this is incredible, right? Anthony is back."

"It is like the conclusion to a great epic, like, what the hell. Have you ever seen Ian like this?" Tommy smiled at Shayne. "I didn't know he had it in him. I thought he was depressed, like me," he joked.

"His energy has completely changed, hasn't it?"

Tommy put his hand on Shayne's shoulder. Why did people love to do that?! Shayne didn't mind too much though. But he rather it be Ian.

"Our dads are back together," Tommy said dramatically. Shayne laughed.

"It's so crazy. I am happy for them of course. But how do you come back from having your friendship so destroyed, so betrayed, to being best friends again?"

"It does take a little bit of madness, I guess," Tommy philosophized. "And a little bit of love. Look at them. They are so into each other."

"Yeah, they sure are," Shayne said, a bit loud.

#smosh #shayian #one-sided pining #shayne topp #ian hecox #anthony padilla #fanfic

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asma-al-husna · 24 days ago

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Allah calls Himself An-Nur—The Light, The Illuminating— on one occasion in the Quran. He is the one who is the light and from whom comes all light. An-Nur is the light of the heavens and earth, and His light clarifies and reveals, both physically and spiritually!

The Light, The One who reveals and illuminates

An-Nur comes from the root noon-waw-raa which points to four main meanings. The first main meaning is to give light and illuminate and the second to make visible, reveal,, and clarify. The third main meaning is to be flaming, blazing, and apparent to the senses, and the fourth main meaning to enlighten or give advice.

This root appears 194 times in the Quran in three derived forms. Examples of these forms are an-naara (the Fire), nuruhum (their light) and muneerah (illuminating).

Linguistically, nur is used to indicate anything that gives off light, in the form of rays for example, and is that which makes things visible. Referring to Allah ‘azza wa jall, He is the one by whom everything is made visible, whose attribute is light, and He is the One who illuminates (munawwir) and the One who guides (Haadi) the heavens and the earth!

An-Nur Himself says: Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. [Quran, 24:35]

The essence of Light

In the Quran and Sunnah we can find that Allah ‘azza wa jall has a nur (light) related to Him as an attribute of His essence. This is the same as His other attributes, for example sight, knowledge, might, etc. An-Nur says: And the earth will shine with the Light of its Rabb. [Quran, 39:69] This refers to the magnificent moment Allah ‘azza wa jall will come on the Day of Resurrection to judge mankind.

The Prophet salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam stated about Allah’s attribute of nur: You are the Light of the heavens and the earth.[Al-Bukhaaree] He salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam also said the very weighty words: Light is His hijaab (veil), if He uncovers it then the subuhaat (brightness and splendour) of His Face would burn His creation so far as His Sight reaches. [Muslim]

A beautiful comparison

The scholars mentioned the light that is a part of Allah ‘azza wa jall and His attribute and the light given to the creation, both perceived— like from the sun and the moon— and spiritual. In surah An-Nur, ayah 35, Allah ‘azza wa jall describes His Light: The example of His light is like a niche within which is a lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire. Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and Allah is Knowing of all things. [Quran, 24:35]

Ibn al Qayyim rahimahullah explained it as a spiritual light bestowed by Allah ‘azza wa jall upon the heart of His believing slave [Ijtimaa’ al-Ju-yoush al-Islaamiyyah] The niche is compared with the chest of the believer; inside the niche is a glass, of the most crisp and clear kind, and this glass resembles the heart of a believer. It sees the truth by virtue of its clarity and, similar to the olive oil, is the substance of the believing heart;it is from the “tree” of Revelation (that which Allah ‘azza wa jallrevealed in His books). [Ibn al Qayyim’s al-Waabil as-Sayyib] The stronger a believer adheres to the revelation, the stronger the roots in his heart are!

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Know what to follow for success.

An-Nur says: There has come to you from Allah a light and a clear Book. [Quran, 5:15] This light is the Prophet Muhammad salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.The first step is to really treat the Quran and Sunah as your guide and deeply realize that only they are your way to receive the spiritual light of An-Nur. Through them you can see the reality of things and you will learn to clearly distinguish between good and bad.

2. Strive for His light.

Strive for His light by making understanding the Quran a priority in your daily life. Each day at least read one ayah and its meaning and practise it. Learn to understand the original language of the Quran. The light which An-Nur puts in your heart when you submit is faith in Him, knowledge, and love and remembrance of Him. Make the Quran and sunnah priority in your daily life so An-Nur will guide you and bless you with spiritual clarity.

3. Increase your good deeds.

Do many good deeds for the sake of An-Nur so that He will put light on your face in the Hereafter: [Some] faces, that Day, will be radiant, looking at their Lord. [Quran 75:22-23] A beautiful way to increase your worship is to think about your intention consciously throughout the day and re-invent your intention by changing random deeds like cleaning, cooking, working, etc. with the intention of pleasing Allah ‘azza wa jall.

4. Think of the light on the Day of Judgement

The more your heart was responding to the light of the revelation (Quran and sunnah) in this life, the stronger your light will be on that dreadful day! So increase in doing good by seeing these deeds as a reason for light in the darkness of the Hereafter in shaa Allah!

5. Be thankful.

Each day realize that An-Nur has guided you from the darknesesses of disbelief to the light of Islam and thank Him from the bottom of your heart.

5. Ask An-Nur

Use this supplication from the Quran related to light: يقولونربناأتمملنانورناواغفرلناإنكعلىكلشيءقدير

They will say: Our Lord, perfect for us our light and forgive us. Indeed, You are over all things competent [Quran, 66:8]

And this beautiful invocation for when you go to the mosque:

‎“اللَّهُمَّاجْعَلْفِيقَلْبِينُوراً،وَفِيلِسَانِينُوراً،وَفِيسَمْعِينُوراً،وَفِيبَصَرِينُوراً،وَمِنْتَحْتِِينُوراً،وَعَنْيَمِينِينُوراً،وَعَنْشِمَالِينُوراً،وَمِنأَمَامِينُوراً،وَمِنْخَلْفِِينُوراً،وَاجْعَلْفِينَفْسِينُوراً،وَأَعْظِمْلِينُوراً،وَعَظِّمْلِينُوراً،وِاجْعَلْلِينُوراً،وَاجْعَلْنِينُوراً،اللَّهُمَّأَعْطِنِينُوراً،وَاجْعَلْفِيعَصَبِينُوراً،وَفِيلَحْمِينُوراً،وَفِيدَمِينُوراً،وَفِيشَعْرِينُوراً،وَفِيبَشَرِينُوراً

O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue light, and in my ears light and in my sight light, and above me light, and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light. Place in my soul light. Magnify for me light, and amplify for me light. Make for me light and make me a light. O Allah, grant me light, and place light in my nerves, and in my body light and in my blood light and in my hair light and in my skin light [Al-Bukhaaree]

O Allah, An-Nur, we know that You are Light and all kinds of light come from you. Guide us in following Your revelation, so it can be a source of light for us in this life and the next. Aid us in doing many good deeds so our faces will be shining with light in the Hereafter, light will emerge for us on the siraat so we can witness Your Light in Paradise, ameen!

Wallahu ta’alaa ‘alem.

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