#youre the expert in The Character™️here- not me
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kits-ships · 3 months ago
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ppl always strive to be canon-accurate w/ their selfships or ocxcanon but who cares ! it's YOUR f/o whether you hit them with an OC beam or not. headcanons already exist and people will always interpret a character differently. love them however you want.
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mylittleredgirl · 2 years ago
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i always sing the praises of having a beta reader if you want that sort of thing, but actually there are two separate fic-editor types:
alpha reader: just fucking uncritically loves your work. #1 fan. fully obsessed with the pairing you're writing to the exclusion of all good sense. might correct a comma or two but they are there to tell you that you are amazing and that you have never done anything wrong in your life and you should post that shit immediately. you ask them "does this part work?" and they say yes before the question is fully out of your mouth. the golden retriever of writing friends. every writer 100% needs one of these in their back pocket.
pros: THE best preemptive defense against the gaping chasm of self-doubt between "post work" and the first kudos.
cons: this is the reason why sometimes you see a fic that has eight beta readers thanked in the author's notes and the main character's name spelled wrong.
beta reader™️: these friends also fucking love your work, but the way they want to love it is to stick their fingers in your fic like a fruit bin at the grocery store and gently squeeze your characters (and commas) to see if they're ripe.
a good beta reader will copy edit your fic, notice if you've used the same sentence three times, and let you know if your sex scenes seem to contain the intended number of dicks per person.
a great one will highlight for you what's unique and wonderful about your writing, will help you problem-solve and plot through long fic, and will lovingly bug the shit out of you with how did she get here? and would he really say that? and is this what you meant? and when you say "oh shit no it isn't" their eyes light up and they go OKAY! let's figure this out!!!
more of a border collie kind of situation.
pros: the best way to polish your fic and grow as a fic writer. in my experience, it's also an incredible way to work through impostor syndrome. knowing someone you respect has been all up in your fic's junk and still says "it's great and you're great, now post it!" is a game-changer.
cons: if they show you what's not working, you're probably going to have to take time to fix it :/
caveats: not everyone who wants to give constructive feedback can deliver it in a way that works for everyone, so if the experience ends up making you feel bad, this is not a good match! it's also VERY helpful to tell your beta reader what level of editing you're looking for. if someone asks "can you give this a quick once-over before i post?" i know they want me to look for obvious mistakes and reassure them that it's post-worthy. if you ask me to "rip it apart" i'm going in there with a fine tooth comb.
(the primary motivation of both of these editor breeds is, of course, that they want you to write more and they want to read it before everyone else.)
bonus mode:
specialty reader: sensitivity readers and subject matter experts! if you are lucky enough to find and motivated enough to use one of these, their job is not to look at commas or to tell you that you're great, but to give advice on something specific in your fic.
edit: check the reblogs for a correction! turns out “alpha reader” is a pre-existing term in some circles for someone who helps you during the process, a lot like the great beta-reader i described above. taking suggestions for renaming my version of the alpha reader above. i’m thinking “hype man.”
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liz-allyn · 2 years ago
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sugar and vice, pt. 20 [mob!tasm!peter x fem!reader-oc]
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summary: no more running. no more cages.
words: 10.7 k
chapter warning: heavy chapter warnings for S&V John Walker (it's a warning), SA, death, violence, gore
series warnings: mob-typical bang bang violence, hurt/comfort. Spicy smutty situations. spousal abuse. family trauma. Drug use. coercion. manipulation. kidnapping. gore. blood. toxic/yandere!peter (maybe, sorta), negative self talk, shameless forced proximity trope. ‘only ten one bed oops’ trope, imprisonment. slowest burn. a dash of questionable and/or morally grey intentions. extremely toxic relationships.
This version of TASM Peter is not canon. The relationships and characters here are not healthy.
Don't date a mob boss.™️
18+ You’re responsible for your own media consumption, but if you don't know these TWs by now, then don't go here.
Back to Part 19.
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Note: your comments and notes keep me alive, but please be careful to use section breaks and spoiler tags!
Part 20
Once when she was a little girl, she cut her baby sister’s nails. She had to. It was something that their mother would have done—should have done—but she hadn’t been home in several days. Her older sister had the most experience, but she was stuck working a double shift. Rebecca had been sick with a cold for days, and Selena was just a toddler. 
After all, it was her job to look after her younger siblings.
So that left Honey in charge. 
Poor Gabriella. The infant couldn’t stop scratching her face. Red lines marked up her round cheeks like tiger stripes. Honey knew if any of the children had too many marks, people would start to notice. Then something bad would happen, her mother assured her. People would come and take Gabriella away.
She tried everything to prevent the baby from digging her tiny claws into her own skin. She tried rolled socks as makeshift mittens. She tried using a bath towel as a swaddle, but that turned out to be an awful idea once the infant realized she was stuck and didn’t like being restrained. 
By contrast, being tied up wasn’t something that ever bothered Honey.
The obvious solution was to trim her nails. She had to. It had to be done. They didn’t own a pair of nail clippers, Honey knew that. But it was on her to fix things. She was in charge. So she took a pair of kitchen scissors and tried her best. 
After that, she was never okay with the sight of blood.
It used to bother her tremendously. She’d become agitated for a few days out of every month. Her other sisters would joke about it. ‘She must be on her period.’ They were right. 
As a teenager, the smallest knick from shaving her legs in the shower would send her into a dizzy spiral. Over time, it got better. John changed that.
Mrs. Walker became an expert at cleaning up blood. She learned to ignore the smell or at least put a dab of Vicks beneath her nose to block the stench. 
The only helpful thing she learned in high school chemistry was how blood cells expanded when coming in contact with warm water. Thus, her teacher told her, cold water was best for removing blood stains. 
“You know. In case you ever have to hide a dead body.” 
It was a joke. Until it wasn’t.
John changed that.
She sat on the tiled floor of her bathroom, shoulders slumped and expression blank. Now, it was impossible to get rid of the blood on her hands. She could strip off her clothes and burn them, but she felt it on her skin. She could shove an entire eucalyptus tree up her nose, but the scent would linger.
She was stained in rust colors, starkly contrasting the pristine ivory of her bathroom. Silently, she gazed at how the blood crusted on her skin, following the ridges of her pores like brush strokes in oil paint. The cotton hoodie and joggers she’d been wearing were soaked through. There had been so much carnage and death she didn’t even know whose blood she was wearing.
Helen’s. Johnny’s. Her own, probably. Blood from ‘that’ guy, whose scalp was torn off.
Eddie’s blood.
All that was left of his life stained her skin. She should be nauseous by now. She should be at least a little woozy. But, instead, the thought of just washing him away made her want to die inside. 
She would wear it, then. Needed to wear it—she had to. On her arms and face. On her neck. On her chest, like a scarlet letter. Irreversably stained.
Is this what it means to be desensitized to gore? 
Indeed, she felt nothing at all.
What happened, happened. The Bunker was in shambles. It would take months to repair. Would have if Peter hadn’t instructed them to burn everything left.
Every piece of incriminating evidence, every tool at their disposal, and every chapter of their history was on fire underground. Nothing would be left, no matter when the fire department showed up. Johnny had re-routed the gas lines years ago. With the flip of a switch, everything would go up in flames. Nothing could be salvaged. It would be an empty cave filled with useless, charred artifacts from an irrelevant time.
On second thought—she considered—that’s what she felt.
It was as good of a description as any.
After that morning’s attack, she was dropped off at the Penthouse. Peter would follow soon after, they told her. She shouldn’t wait up.
She had limped into her bathroom to clean off the remnants of the massacre. There she remained, for over an hour. Couldn’t get up off the floor. Couldn’t force herself to get in the shower.
At this rate, she may never be clean again.
Her eyes wandered to the smartphone beside her, tucked near her thigh. 
John’s phone.
This was the weapon that killed Eddie Brock. 
The second she had entered her room, she pulled the cursed object out from the box spring. She wanted to hand it over quickly so that Peni could analyze it. Could... study it, or whatever it is that tech nerds do. Honey would do anything to fix things.
But nobody cared about the phone. It was as good as a gun without bullets. A time bomb, two seconds too late. It was of no consequence.
She picked up the smartphone, glaring down at it with contempt. Sticky red fingerprints covered the cracked screen. Her blood. Their blood.
Eventually, she came to a stand. Then, bitterly, she dropped the phone into the toilet bowl, submerging it in water. 
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Peter was finally home. But it didn’t feel like home.
His home was on fire, riddled with bullet holes. Just like the home he grew up in.
He stood before the full-length mirror in his wardrobe and wiped the blood stains away with a damp, pink-tinged towel. His flesh was now rubbed raw. The cotton fabric felt like sandpaper against his tender skin.
The obvious solution was to take a proper shower. But he didn’t have time. He only needed to get enough blood off to pass in broad daylight without someone calling the cops if they saw him. He wouldn’t get very far if he looked like an ax murderer.
With all the rage he held inside, an ax was unnecessary. Overkill. And yet, not enough ‘kill.’
He had redressed in clean clothes, wearing a pair of midnight-navy trousers with creased edges that were sharp enough to cut. He paused midway through buttoning a crisp, white dress shirt, momentarily taking in the gruesome sight of himself. 
His torso was a canvas splashed with deep purples and reds, stretched over a frame of broken ribs and pinched nerves. His eyes rested on the delicate box chain around his neck, which held two gold wedding bands near his heart.
Ben and May’s wedding rings. Tarnished. Stained with blood.
He quickly reached for the towel.
Minutes later, he carefully shrugged on a matching double-breasted blazer, wincing as he pulled it over his shoulders. Every part of him felt broken, in every possible way. But physical pain hadn’t stopped him yet, not when something more important was driving him.
He regarded his reflection with tight lips. He didn’t wear this jacket too often. It was a tuxedo cut and hung looser than he was accustomed to, making his frame appear boxy. A little too retro, maybe. 
Perfect for concealing weapons. After all, he was dressing for a funeral. 
His skin prickled. He was familiar with the sensation. He recognized it instantly, like an earthy scent before a rain shower. Honey’s reflection came into view as she approached the doorway behind him.
The sight of her covered in blood made his stomach clench. He reminded himself that it wasn’t all her blood, and only then did the tension in his chest release. But not entirely.
“Thought you were getting some sleep.” Peter’s tone was flat. His eyes flicked back to his reflection as he tugged on the lapels of his blazer. 
He didn’t say it as a question; rather, he stated it as an expectation.
She stared back, unfazed, wearing a stone expression. “What are you going to do?” 
Similarly, it wasn’t a question. More like a demand.
He briefly glanced at her before returning to the mirror. His jaw set firmly. “You don’t wanna know.”
She marched into the room. “You’re going after John. I want to help.”
“Help me?” he repeated with a scoff. “I don’t think so.”
Her forehead creased, offended. “Look, I can help—”
“Just what do you think is about to happen right now?” he snapped. He squinted his eyes, turning on his heel to face her. “Ya think we’re just gonna pull up on ‘em and that’s it? Ya think he’s just sittin’ around at home watching TV?”
“No,” she said. Her tone was unwaveringly resolved. “I think he’s expecting you to come after him.” 
“No shit,” Peter sighed with frustration. “I’m expecting to be expected.” He fixed a stern gaze on her, tension pulling at his vocal cords. “Only difference is I don’t care if he knows I’m comin’, or how many cops are in my way. There’s only one way this ends, and it ends bloody. And you don’t want any part of it.”
He brushed past her and stomped towards his bureau. Her eyes followed each movement, crackling with lightning bolts. “Fuck you, telling me what I want!” she hissed. “This is my mess, too!”
He pivoted toward her. “And what, ya think killing him is gonna fix it?” His face went grim, sorrow etched into his features. Remorse welled in the bottom of his eyes. “Think it gets easier after that? Ya think it’ll make you somehow feel better—?”
“I don’t care about feeling better!” she barked back. He neatly flinched at the sharpness of her tone. Fury bubbled beneath her skin. “The only thing I care about is that he suffers.”
Peter contemplated her for a quiet moment. “Well,” he said, voice soft. His melancholy briefly overshadowed his rage. “You don’t need to worry about that.” 
He didn’t meet her eye. Instead, he studied the grain of the wood beneath his feet, letting his shoulders deflate. He looked beyond tired, deep lines creasing his features and flecks of gray in his beard. Yet, when he lifted his chin, his eyes were resolute. He arched his path to avoid her.
Unsatisfied, she trailed him with fire in her eyes. “How will you know where to find him?”
“I’ll figure it out.”
“Who’s going with you?”
“Stop asking questions, Honey.”
She grasped him by the shoulder and yanked him around to face her. “Jesus Christ! The phone is gone, you unbelievable asshole! Do you really think I’d tell anyone—?”
“You’re not getting involved,” he stated firmly.
“Not involved? Are you fucking serious?!”
“Too many people have already gotten hurt.”
“Holy shit,” she blanched, freezing in place. Her eyes widened in horror. “You’re not telling the others, are you?”
He paused, for eons, she thought. Peter tried to keep his face neutral, but it was useless under her scrutiny. His eyes were ablaze with stubborn resolve, lips in a line. He turned his back and continued down the staircase.
Blinking rapidly, she watched him walk away. She felt dizzy, but not from weakness. Instead, rage pulsed through her veins, each blood cell embedded with fear. She rushed after him, hot on his heels. 
“You’re going in alone?” she growled, her nose crinkled. “That’s your fucking genius plan? Go in, guns blazing, and hope you don’t get yourself killed?!”
“I have no intention of getting killed,” Peter said. “Not unless I’m taking him with me.”
His reaction enraged her further as they approached the base of the stairs. “Who does that work out for, huh?” she spat. 
Ignoring her, he marched on. Peter spotted one of the guards standing watch outside his office door. “Rollins!” he ordered, voice booming. “Bring the car ‘round.”
“Yes, sir—”
“Rollins, don’t you dare bring the car around!” she commanded, blocking Peter’s path and skewering him with a defiant glare. It was as if she dared him to move her. His dark eyes flashed angrily as he clenched his jaw. He looked as if he was considering it.
Rollins stared at the two of them, back and forth. Frozen with indecision. 
Enraged by his sudden hesitancy, Peter’s nostrils flared. He shot a dangerous glare at the guard before glancing down at the young woman with ire. 
He lifted his gaze back to his man, narrowing his eyes. “Rollins...” Through gritted teeth, his guard’s name sounded more like a declaration of war. 
Rollins sprang into action. “On it, sir.”
As his guard disappeared, she kept her feet rooted to the floor like a mythical beast guarding a castle. She breathed flames from her mouth and conjured curses and plagues with her gaze.
“You asshole—you’re in such a hurry to kill yourself!” she said viciously. “Who for, huh?! You think this is about the others? For Miles? You’re not doing this for us, Peter! And you’re not doing it for Eddie, either!”
“You’re damn right, I’m not!” he snapped indignantly, jabbing his finger into his bruised sternum. “I’m not doing this for anybody but myself!” 
Heat radiated from him in waves, like steam from a hot spring. He bent his neck, leering over her. Volume dropped low, his voice thickened into a threatening rumble. “If I were doing this for Eddie,” he said, “I’d make ‘em watch me kill everything he ever loved, ya feel me? ‘Course, I highly doubt you were ever on that list, so you’ve got nothin’ to worry about.”
She barked a bitter laugh. “So this is, what, payback? Your stupid, dick-measuring way of defending my honor?”
“This isn’t about you, Honey,” he said, dark as night. He leaned down until his lips were inches from her forehead, eyes as cold and sharp as a jagged iceberg. “If it was—knowing what I know now,” he added breathily, “I promise you—it wouldn’t be anything like this.”
A misleading smirk formed on his lips, betraying the brutality staining his thoughts. She felt the heat of his rage in each whispered word. 
“No,” he said, deathly grave. “For what he did to you—I would keep him alive for as long as I possibly could.”
The unabashed, murderous smile on his lips sent a shiver down her spine. Her discomfort didn’t faze him this time. He didn’t care how scared she was of him. If anything, the more afraid she was, the better.
“He’s a disease,” Peter ranted, directing his frustration back towards himself, “that I’ve allowed to spread. He’s a threat to everything I give a damn about! And I will not let him hurt somebody else I lo—”
Blinking, he cut the sentence short, just millimeters from a leap he wasn’t willing to take. She stared intently up at him, unaware that she was holding her breath.
He pursed his lips, eyes heavy with regret. He looked away, avoiding her gaze while he composed himself. Finally, he took in a slow, tense breath. “I need to do this, Honey,” he whispered ruefully. He had calmed slightly, swallowing back his rage. 
The only thing left behind was a tiny, heartbroken remark. “It’s the only thing I’m good at.” The corners of his mouth turned down sharply. 
She didn’t hesitate. “Even if that were true, you don’t need to do it alone.”
He shook his head in frustration. “Why are you so desperate to know what it’s like to kill somebody?”
A vicious yell burst out of her mouth. “I already have killed somebody!” she shouted, as if it were obvious. Her voice echoed off the walls while anguish pooled in her eyes. “It’s my fault Eddie is dead! I know it is—”
He shook his head again. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine—”
“Of course, it’s your fault!” she roared. “It’s both of our faults!” 
The comment stunned him, only slightly less than the bitterness of her tone. He snapped his mouth closed, taken aback. 
Despair twisted her face, and anger lit up her eyes. “Don’t you get it?” She was green with sickness, spitting out words like they were poison. “This is what he does! He turns people against each other!” 
Peter stayed quiet as he observed her intensity. Her feet were rooted while her whole body raged, “He turns you against yourself! He twists you up until you can’t even trust your own instincts! Until you hate yourself enough to feel like you had it coming!”
A dam had broken, and a river of acid spilled through her lips. Resentment from years of abuse writhed in her chest like a tsunami, threatening to flood every street in New York. Her fingers itched to wrap around the collective necks of the city and drown it in her devastation.
She pointed at Peter, eyes flashing furiously. “You’re willing to get yourself killed because you feel responsible for every bad thing that’s ever happened!” She jabbed her thumb back at herself. “I’m willing to suffer in silence because I feel responsible for every bad thing that’s happened!”
“Meanwhile,” she added, with a livid hiss, “John Mother Fucking Walker—who is actually responsible for all of this—feels Nothing. At. All!  Because he is a fucking psychopath!” 
Peter blinked, contemplating her in silence. Her firm eyes narrowed on him. “That’s how he beats us, Peter!” she exclaimed. “Fear! Guilt! That’s how he wins!”
The frustration in her voice reverberated off of the walls, sending a tremor that penetrated the bedrock. Peter observed her, stoic save for the sorrow in his gaze. 
Her chest heaved as unshed tears dampened her lashes. Exhausted, she sighed heavily. “I am tired of letting him win,” she said in exasperation. She was more composed but no less grave. “And if you think you’re gonna do what I think you’re gonna do—which is go after him alone—then that’s exactly what will happen.”
Peter’s eyes glistened, red-rimmed and raw. His silence stretched on forever until she was nearly inclined to  choke him for a response. Eventually, he simply bowed his head, casting his eyes down.
“What if fear and guilt are the only things I have left?” It was a meek, feeble reply from someone so powerful. She blinked up at him, watching as he chewed on his lower lip. “Wish it wasn’t that way. I wish I had—” 
He stopped, leaving the thought unfinished.
“Doesn’t matter what I wish, does it?” he said. “Doesn’t matter what coulda been.”
A crease formed between her brows. Her face softened. “Peter—”
“Just let me say this, please,” he blurted out with urgency as if the words would claw their way from his chest. “I need to.” She regarded his desperate gaze, and eventually, she bobbed her head gently.
He gazed down at her. His lower lip twitched for a moment. “I had my suspicions about your past,” Peter explained mournfully. “Knew something bad happened, but... bad shit happens to everyone, though. First, I thought it was your mother. Then after Pym, I... I figured it was some old boyfriend, some jerk who treated you like trash.” 
Her face flushed red. When she looked back at him, his glazed eyes were fixed on her. Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. With shards of glass on his tongue, he murmured, “I-I didn’t know... wh-what he—”
“I don’t blame you, Peter, if that’s what you think—”
“I didn’t wanna know,” he firmly replied, silencing her. Guilt weighed down his features. “Didn’t wanna ask, if I’m bein’ honest.” He gulped, nearly choking on his words like a razor blade stuck in his throat. “I was afraid of what I would do if I knew the truth.” 
She felt warmth sting her eyes, tears budding at the corner of her lids. 
“I thought, I guess—” Peter’s voice tremored before he pressed on. “I-I thought I could save you. From what, I didn’t even know. Maybe that was my mistake all along.”
He raked his fingers through his hair, eyes heavy with shame. “I was so stupid. I’m the one that let him in. I let this act—this dance between us—I let it go on.” He sniffed with a bleary gaze. “He played me against me,” he declared with finality. “My fear. My doubt, self-hatred—whatever you wanna call it. Whatever voice in my head that tells me... th-that you... You could never love somebody like me.”
She flinched at that. Her resolve to remain stoic buckled under her feet.
His eyes dropped to his feet. “I told myself this was just business, and that if the Feds could use you, so could I.” Vulnerability poured from his eyes as they met hers. “I pretended it didn’t kill me every time you looked me in the face and lied.” 
Despite his apology, her stomach twisted with shame. 
“And each time it happened,” he explained, “I couldn’t figure out what they had on you. Something awful, I figured. Something that scared the shit out of you.”
Peter looked at her somberly, lower lip wobbling and eyes dark with regret. “I thought it was me.” 
Her face crumpled at his admission, grief seizing her at last. She bit down on her lip to keep a sob from escaping. 
“It’s like he already won,” he said, with a broken soul. “I thought I was the one he wanted.” He sniffed, peeking down at her through wet lashes. Deep, raw heartache thickened his voice. “Turns out, it was you all along. And I led him straight to you.” 
Her vision flooded with tears at his admission. It sounded like a confession from a dying man. After a few gut-wrenching moments, Peter lifted his chin and met her eyes, resolved. “That’s why I’m doing this without you, Honey. This is my mistake to fix.”
Overwhelmed with grief, she stared up at him in a daze. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gently shook her head to protest. 
“I’m sorry, Peter,” she said. It sounded like a eulogy.
His eyes glistened as he nodded, love and loss in their depths. “Me too.” 
He gazed at her, the coffee color of his irises shining bittersweet. She stared up at him in adoration and agony. She debated whether she should wrap her arms around him and cry or kiss him dizzy. 
He paused, letting his eyes linger, then turned away and trodded down the hall. “I’m gonna fix this, Honey,” he said. “I promise. You’re free.”
Perplexed, she darted after him. “Wh-what—?”
“No more running, no more cages,” he resolutely replied. She followed closely as he approached the oak doors to his office. “Won’t hafta be afraid of anyone comin’ after you. Not Fisk. Not me. And not some asshole ex. ‘Cos win or lose...I’m ending this. Tonight.”
She fluttered her lashes with concern, following him blindly into the room. 
“Why wait?”
Honey stopped short in her tracks like her feet had been fused to the floor. Peter froze. Swayed dizzily. The tiny hairs on the back of his neck didn’t just prickle, as they had been since the beginning of their conversation. It inverted, the sensation feeling like his skin had peeled off and been turned inside out.
John Walker coolly watched them come to a sudden stop. He lounged back casually in the executive desk chair with a devil-may-care expression and his leather oxfords up on the tabletop. Stunned, they stared at the lithe man with growing alarm. The icy blue of his eyes twinkled with delight at their fear, fixing them with a Cheshire smile. 
“Why don’t we do this right now?” he shrugged nonchalantly.
Each bruised muscle in Peter’s body went rigid. In a matter of moments, he was hit with a surge of emotion that he barely managed to contain beneath his skin. Pupils dilated, fingers shaking, heart pounding—fury washed over him, and all Walker had to do was smile. 
Over the sound of blood rushing, Peter registered the fluttering palpation of her heart.
His Heart. 
His Honey.
She was terrified. 
It reminded him of the moment she walked in on the meeting between him and “Steve,” only this time it was worse. 
An arctic chill surrounded her from the ice running through her veins. She paused mid-breath, rendered motionless, eyes wide with horror. For a moment Peter worried if she would ever start breathing again.
His palms began to tingle. He kept his attention straight ahead, while he fought between the urge to comfort her and the visceral need to tear John’s face from his skull. 
Before he could do either, another warning sensation—sharp and jagged, like his name being carved into a chalkboard with a steak knife—sliced through his brain.
After having been suppressed, ignored, and nearly incapacitated by the Symbiote, his senses were in overdrive. Every cell in his body alerted him to impending danger, which came in the form of footsteps.
He turned quickly, dragging Honey behind his back, as he laid eyes on the new threat. Three of his guards, Malick, Ward, and Rollins—fucking Rollins—stepped into the room. Ward and Malick were vigilant with their weapons drawn, but Rollins sauntered at a leisurely pace. He glanced over at his boss, unworried, and a malicious grin widened his lips. 
Peter’s shoulders slumped as he realized that their bullets were meant for him. He frowned sourly, betrayed. “Jack,” Peter coldly muttered, hiding his disappointment beneath the threat in his tone. “Wha’cha up to?”
Rollins simply shrugged. “Sorry, Boss,” he smirked. “‘S’just business.” 
Peter’s eyes darkened as he observed Gideon Malick aim his pistol at Honey, while Grant Ward slammed the office door closed, locking them in. With Rollins drawing his sidearm, three guns were now trained on him and the shaking woman behind him. 
Peter couldn’t see her face but didn’t need to. He could feel her fear radiating through his fingertips. Her body became both lighter and heavier as if her bones had turned to water. He sensed her increasing dissociation, barely tethered to the Earth and dangling at the end of his reach. Only terror cemented her feet in place. She was sluggish as he pushed her closer into his back as if he could somehow hide her there.
“I have to say, Pete,” John called to him matter-of-factly. Peter split his attention between his backstabbing guards and the monster seated behind his desk. “At first, I was impressed with your organization. But it seems like you have a few serious issues with staff retention to sort out.” John spoke with a self-satisfied smirk, kicking his feet off of the desk and coming to a relaxed stance. “You should think about setting up a meeting with H.R.”
“Believe me,” Peter glowered at John, briefly glancing at Rollins with clenched teeth. “It’s a priority.”
John took an unrushed stroll to the front of the desk before leaning back on the corner’s edge. He moved through the office as if it was his home. It was unnerving for Peter to consider how many times he might have been there without his knowledge, with his treacherous guards granting him access to anything he wanted.
“‘Course, I always thought you shoulda gone into human trafficking,” John said, with a mockingly sincere tone. A crease split Peter’s brow, his face twisting with revulsion. “You would’ve made a very lucrative pimp.” 
Peter glared at him, disgusted, as he chuckled softly at his own joke. The laugh faded, as did the humor in John’s ice-blue eyes. They narrowed with contempt, looking beyond Peter to the trembling girl behind him. 
“Lord knows you got the world’s biggest whore right behind you,” he sneered maliciously. “With a mouth like hers, you’ll get anything you want. If you throw in an extra five-thousand dollars, of course.”
Peter felt her bristle at the jab, and he reached back further to steady her. 
“Don’t look at her,” he ordered coldly, never breaking eye contact. “You don’t get to look at her. Ever.”
The blonde snickered, licking his lips scandalously. “Oh, I’ve done a whole lot more than just look.” 
Peter’s jaw tensed at that. 
John’s humorless gaze turned into a cold glare. “I don’t know if you’ve heard,” he added vindictively, “but that’s my wife you have behind you.”
Despite his own outrage, Peter kept a straight face. He listened intently, studying how Walker’s nostrils flared and how his pulse sped up at the sight of the couple embracing. 
Good, he thought. He needed every second of time he could get. 
Peter took a step backward with her, slowly approaching the wall. 
His eyes lightened, and a callous smirk formed on his lips. “You mean that’s ‘your wife’ I’ve had beneath me,” Peter sneered lewdly. 
The remark splintered beneath John’s skin. Peter watched with satisfaction at how the blonde’s brow twitched. He could smell the agitation leaking out through his pores. 
“Yeeaah,” Peter chuckled mockingly, fueling John’s anger. “She told me all about you. Short story. If ya catch my drift.”
Peter took another step backward, bumping her along, teeth flashing with amusement. “In fact,” he parried, matching John’s sardonic tone, “maybe you should talk to a doctor about your little problem. You know, instead of torturing women.” 
John glowered with his lower lip curled. “Well. Since we’re sharing.” He tilted his head with a predatory grin, while his eyes shot daggers at them. “I wouldn’t trust everything she says. The girl’s a freak. She tell ya about all of her filthy rape fantasies, too?”
Her breath hitched. A tiny shiver racked through her body. It was barely noticeable to the other men, but to Peter, it felt like a tectonic movement. He could hear the way her stomach shifted, her nausea roaring in like a rising tide. 
“She likes it rough,” John snarked. “It’s practically the only thing that gets her off. Pretty fucked up, if you ask me.”
“I didn’t ask you.” Inwardly, Peter seethed, resentment darkening his gaze.
“‘Course not. Why take my word for it?” John laughed, having momentarily taken the upper hand. He glanced around at the other traitors mirthlessly before turning back to Peter. “Why don’t we just find out for ourselves?”
Peter’s anger spiked at the insinuation, rage stuttering his heartbeat. He watched as John glanced at Rollins and the other men with a menacing grin. Cruel laughter trickled from the traitors that made his blood boil further.
He took a measured breath. “I know you boys don’t know me that well,” Peter remarked calmly. “But lemme be very clear.” He slid his eyes over and leveled a threatening glare at the men behind Rollins. “Anyone touches her, and I’ll send ya back home to your families in garbage bags.” 
Peter’s men dropped their smiles suddenly. He heard a stutter in the heartbeats coming from that direction as they attempted to suppress their reaction. “Don’t take my word for it,” he said directly to Rollins with a murderous gaze. “You know what I’m capable of, Jackie.”
“Is that what you did to Gwen?”
Peter’s anger spread through him like epinephrine as John carelessly spat out his deceased wife’s name. His shoulders tensed, and the cords in his neck pulled tautly. 
“You send her back to her daddy in a body bag?” John snickered. “Sure—Call me a shitty husband. But at least my wife never took a swan dive off of the Brooklyn Bridge.” 
The fresh swell of rage in Peter’s belly twisted him into knots. A gentle press from a tiny palm on the middle of his back was the only thing that anchored him. 
“Oof. Hit a nerve, did I?” John grinned with satisfaction at how the color drained from Peter’s eyes and complexion. “What else did you two lovebirds talk about?” he said. “She tell ya about our little talks late at night?” He grinned salaciously. “Lotsa juicy stuff.”
Peter swallowed hard, unflinching. 
“She told me everything,” Walker continued. “Her plan to seduce you. To pretend she cared about you. How much she despised you.” John tilted his head, musing. “How’d you put it, Peach? You could ‘never love a monster like him’?” 
He heard a soft gasp from behind him. As strong as their resolve was, the remark punctured its armor. Honey clenched the fabric of his jacket, her touch pleading for forgiveness. Steadfast, Peter took another careful step backward, keeping her close.
“‘Course, that’s no big surprise,” John continued ruthlessly. He could see through Peter’s indifference, knowing each word cut into him like a jigsaw. “‘Everyone that ever loved you is dead.’ Ain’t that right?”
Honey gripped Peter’s shoulder tighter, a swell of nausea creeping up her esophagus. Her vocal cords were paralyzed, with nothing but a whimper escaping her lips. “No...” she muttered breathlessly, stunned and enraged by the twisting of her words.
“Poor, pitiful Peter Parker,” John said in a sing-song voice. “Sad, psychotic little orphan boy. No mommy. No daddy. His aunt and uncle both turned into swiss cheese.” He punctuated each word with viciousness, spitting them out like curdled milk. “Clinging desperately onto the memory of his dead whore.”
Nostrils flaring, Peter glowered at John, dipping his chin. Another step backward nearly had the woman behind him up against the wall, backing her carefully up to a marble-top bar. “Gloat all you want, asshole,” Peter mumbled with disdain. “She still dumped you.”
John’s eyes flashed red with a serpentine hiss sliding off his forked tongue. “And yet, I’m the one that finger-fucked your girl while you were on your little date! Greedy slut was wetter than a swamp when I touched her—”
“Liar!” she screamed, voice cracking like shattered glass. 
She lunged forward but Peter blocked her. He practically shoved her back, her spine hitting the edge of the bar. A chorus of chuckles erupted, with Rollins, Ward, and Malick joining in on John’s amusement. She stumbled backward, using her hands to steady herself until she came in contact with a metal object on the bar top.
A camera.
Peter’s old camera. On top of the box disguised as a book.
Both items were out of place. 
Presented out in the open, where they shouldn’t have been.
Honey’s eyes darted back up to the front. 
“S’okay, Honey,” Peter muttered, his glare still trained on Walker. He held his arms behind his back as if to hide her from view. It formed a ‘cage,’ concealing her movements as she stealthily shifted the camera, keeping her eyes forward. “The longer this clown talks, the more desperate he sounds.” 
John’s eyes flashed with malice. “Oh, you wanna hear what desperate sounds like? How ‘bout I push your little bitch off the roof, huh? Have your men make you watch me turn another woman you love into Humpty Dumpty. She’ll be runny eggs on the sidewalk in a matter of seconds—”
“Why are you all still smiling?” Peter sharply cut him off. He shifted his glare from John to his snickering accomplices. “Is it ‘cos you're scared? Or are ya just that stupid?” The laughing ceased immediately as Peter fixed John with a cold gaze. “Either way, you’re about to be a dead man.”
With her hands behind her back, she blindly fumbled to lift the lid of the box. Her fingers scavenged across the bottom, expecting to find a weapon of some kind, or a knife, or perhaps even—
“Lookin’ for this?” John said. The bang of a gunshot deafened her. 
A splatter of wet, hot liquid covered her cheek and she flinched at the sound of an agonized cry. She screamed. At the gunshot. At the blood. And at the sight of Peter dropping forward to his knees in excruciating pain. 
“No! No! No!” 
She could hear her own shrieking in the distance as she grasped at him. Groaning, he writhed in agony. His hand, once again bloody, clutched a bullet hole piercing his upper right shoulder. She threw her already-stained palms over his, adding his blood to the fresco decorating her flesh.
Tears spilled down her cheeks. Lip wobbling, she glanced up with wide eyes as John pointed Peter’s pistol at them menacingly. 
“Did ya really think I wasn’t gonna search this place for weapons?” he scoffed in offense, glaring at them through slitted eyes.
Nostrils flaring and teeth clenched tight, Peter breathed through the pain. He scowled up at John feeling like a flaming sword had severed his arm at the shoulder. His heart hammered as he watched John raise the pistol again, this time aiming between his brows. 
“Please, don’t!” Honey sobbed. “John, please! I’m begging you!” She wrapped her arms around Peter as if she could shield him. 
The smile faded from John’s lips. Contempt radiated from his blue eyes, turning them into blackened sapphires. “C’mon, Peach. We both know you can beg better than that.”
Peter shoved her away from him, jumping to his feet. He charged and knocked John’s aim off target. Another shot rang out and pierced the wall next to her. 
Shrieking, she dropped to the floor and cowered down. 
With one bloody hand on John’s wrist, Peter smashed him in the abs with his injured arm. He put his back muscles into the punch, snarling as the bruised flesh burned like his body was on fire.
His rage partially numbed the pain as Peter advanced forward. He shoved John back into the desk. The injuries made each move sluggish, but Peter managed to land another hit, this time to John’s face. With his other hand clenching the gun, he slammed it into the tabletop, loosening John’s grip. With another vicious whack, the weapon fell from his hand and clattered out of reach. 
Amped with adrenaline, Peter reared his uninjured arm back. Balling his fist into a cannonball, he drove it down hard enough to break through concrete. 
Right into John’s palm.
He blinked, stunned. Looked up at John. His face twisted with confusion, as the supposedly weaker man grinned smugly up at Peter. 
“Oh, yeah,” John smiled with red teeth, slowly crushing Peter’s hand like an empty aluminum can. “And then there’s that.”
With a flick of John’s wrist, he inverted Peter’s arm and tossed his body like a garbage bag. Peter collided with the wall and toppled to the ground, sending plaster and drywall raining down. 
John straightened up, taking labored breaths as he adjusted his light blue collar, now dotted with tiny spots of crimson. He fixed Peter with a wry smile. “I know about your little science experiments, too,” he smirked. “Your buddy Eddie stole the outdated model. Say ‘hello’ to Anti-Venom.”
John rolled his shoulders, tipping his head to crack his neck. As his joints popped, he rolled his eyes back into his skull—literally. Honey gaped with horror as she watched her ex-husband grin at them with a demonic stare, pure white engulfing his eyeballs. The milky, opaque clouds in his eyes seemed to part in the middle, like a crocodile opening an inner set of eyelids, revealing the dilated pupils of his sadistic stare.
Peter struggled to get on his hands and knees as John stalked towards him, feet heavy with malice. Honey screamed with almost no breath, “Peter, look out—”
In a flash, John was on him, jabbing his elbow into his back. Peter gasped at the stab to his spine, feeling another rib snap. The force slammed him chest-first back to the floor. With dazed eyes, he glanced blearily at the secret box, now tossed to the ground a few feet away. Photos of May and Ben were scattered about, among the shards of broken glass, chunks of wood, and twisted metal.
Weakened from the fall, the gunfight, and now the beating, Peter strained to reach for the box but was stopped short. Walker’s steel fingers clamped on his shoulder, yanking him to his feet. He jabbed a boulder-like fist into Peter’s sternum, violently ejecting the air from his lungs. 
Honey sprang to her feet, grabbing a chunk of wood and charging toward them. Rollins and Ward were there instantly, scooping her up and restraining her. 
She writhed desperately, screeching as they twisted her arms back. The sound of her attack vexed Peter, as he straightened his back, landing an upward thrust of his fist into John’s chin. 
“Get off of her!” he hissed at Rollins and Ward, but John intercepted him. 
Like thrashing wild animals, they pummeled each other until sweat and blood coated the floor. Yet, with every hit, John seemed unfazed. Whatever was running through his body was just as formidable as the Symbiote that had once possessed Peter. Both men tossed each other about, but Peter was at a disadvantage.
“Stop!” Honey cried out painfully in a shrill voice, which wrenched Peter’s heart. “John, don’t do this! Stop it!” 
Peter swayed with cloudy eyes as he felt John hook his fist into his jaw. It felt like being hit in the face with a brick. Right after, John landed another jab with the opposite hand. And then a third. And a fourth.
“No, John! Please stop! Just stop! Please!”
His vision blurring, Peter jabbed left, only to have his wrist caught in John’s grip. With a twirl, John wrenched Peter’s arm out of its socket. He doubled over and howled in agony, his dislocated arm hanging limply at his side.
“John, stop it, stop it, please, stop!” 
“When I’m done with you,” John whispered in Peter’s ear, “Fisk will have to scoop up what’s left of you with a shovel.”
Fighting to stay conscious, Peter met the man’s vindictive glare. John’s piercing blue eyes locked onto his. “Yeah. Wilson Fisk. I said his name. Wilson. Fisk. Meanwhile, you’re running around, afraid to say it like he’s Bloody Fucking Mary.”  
Peter was on the floor again, launched into a glass console table. Unable to break his fall, the glass and metal crunched under the momentum of his body, shattering in all directions. He rolled, coughing up blood, his face covered in bruises and cuts. His vision swam, gaze darting across the room until he spotted the secret box. 
With one arm limp, he dragged himself forward with the shoulder that had been shot, inching closer to the overturned box. He flicked the container away, his eyes landing on a delicate watch-like device. He reached for it.
John’s foot came down hard, stomping on his web shooter and crushing it beneath his foot. Peter choked back a frustrated scream, having another weapon fall short of his grasp.
“John, please! I’ll do anything you want! Just please don’t do this!”
John lifted his foot and slowly brought the sole down onto Peter’s wrist. He cried out, grimacing at the crushing pressure of the grown man standing on his forearm. 
“You know what else I call ‘em?” John said, ogling Peter as if to gloat. It was a victorious stance. He was like a giant about to crush an insect. A bloody half-smile hung on his chiseled face as he waited for Peter to make eye contact. When he finally did, John provided an answer. 
“Sir.” 
A crease formed between Peter’s brows as he gazed up at John, panting with shallow breaths. His face paled with realization.
“Yeah,” the blonde crooned with an evil smile. “That’s right.” A horrifying picture emerged from Walker’s self-satisfied expression. "Arrogant little prick. Did you think that you could beat the Kingpin?”
John crouched down low, leering over Peter like a vulture about to peck on its prey while it was still living. 
“Did you think changing your name and hiding underground would stop him from wiping you off the face of the Earth if he really wanted to?” Walker sneered in disgust. “You’re only still alive because he allows it!”
Honey sobbed with tears streaming down her face as John revealed his hand to them. Beside her, Rollins chuckled darkly, relishing in his boss’ despair. 
“You have the audacity to run your mouth all over town,” John hissed, pouring putrid waste into Peter’s ear, “like you’re gonna walk him right up to the Pearly Gates! Like you’re judge, jury, and executioner! The monster at the end of his book!”
Peter pressed his lips into a thin line, rage boiling beneath his battered flesh. John reached down, gripping him by his thick tuft of hair and wrenching it back. The action forced Peter to gaze up at him; his neck bent backward and vulnerable. The way Walker glared at him, he half-expected the man to grow fangs and bury them in his throat.
“Well, I got news for ya, Peter Parker,” John spat out each word mockingly as he narrowed his eyes. “Mr. Fisk doesn’t give a shit what you call yourself.” He fixed Peter with a beaming grin made up of pure, sadistic evil. “He doesn’t even know who you are.” 
He let the words hang in the air as if they were going to carve themselves into Peter’s headstone. For his part, despite his physical agony, Peter held himself steady. Kept his eyes fixed on John’s. Kept his jaw set firm. Anger pooled beneath his chest, cleansing him as it spread through his body.
“Guess you’ll have to explain it to ‘em next time you see ‘em,” Peter muttered, his lip curled into a snarl. “Might be curious to know who it was that killed him.”
The smile dropped from John’s eyes as a fresh wave of fury overtook him. He glared down at Peter, who fixed him with an insolent smirk. 
“And for the record,” the beaten man glowered in defiance, his gaze glittering with spite, “I’m not walkin’ him to the Pearly Gates—I’m takin’ him straight to hell. So you be sure to save him a seat... you pathetic... wife-beating sack of shit!”
John growled and pulled his arm back. Drawing on the power of the entity inside him, he envisioned putting his fist through Peter’s skull and not stopping until he hit the concrete beneath their feet.
“I won’t fight you.” 
The men froze at the tiny whimper, the voice carrying it shattered and frail. 
John glanced over to see his ex-wife hanging limply in the hold of the two guards. Her eyes were empty, her face colorless and ashen. The woman swayed like a bedsheet in the wind.
“You can do whatever you want with me,” she spoke meekly, her spirit detached from her body. “I won’t fight back. I won’t run away.”
Hopelessness marked her features as nausea threatened to choke her. She wished that it would. Drowning in her own bile was a better fate than witnessing the grin form on John’s face.
“Please,” she mewled desperately, eyes red and glossy. “You’ve already won. He doesn’t matter anymore. Let Fisk finish him off.” Her voice trembled, quivering in her throat. “You can have me. However you want me.”
The silence that followed was deafening. John leered, foaming at the corners of his mouth. Lecherous eyes appraised her from head to toe. His chest heaved with short pants, like a rabid animal in heat. 
“Atta girl,” he murmured with satisfaction before tossing Peter aside like a rag doll. 
Peter coughed raggedly, choking on his red-tinged saliva, and rolled to one side. Gripping his wrist and using his foot for leverage, he wrenched his shoulder back in place with a sickening pop. An agonized whimper squeaked out, despite his best efforts. 
John crossed the room in a few strides and gripped the woman by the throat. “No,” Peter gasped through bloody lips, exhausted and breathless from fear. “No...nono...please—”
“Where the fuck are you goin’, Boss?” Malick barked as Peter struggled to stand. The guard stalked forward, gun trained on him. 
Ward joined him, grabbing Peter by his wounded shoulder and kicking his shin out from under him. Their boss was on his knees again, held steady at gunpoint, with Ward pushing the barrel of his weapon into Peter’s temple.
When Peter looked up, John was dragging Honey by the back of her neck, scruffed at the nape like an animal. She stumbled as he forced her behind Peter’s desk, kicking the chair away. He shoved her forward. The veneer stung her cheek when she collided with it, and she let out a whimper.
“Let her go!” Peter writhed desperately. Ward whacked him over the back of the head, driving him forward. He put his foot on Peter’s spine while Malick twisted his wounded arm behind his back. With his chin scraping the floor, he peered up through the fringe of his lashes. “Don’t fuckin’ touch her! You hear me?”
“Get ‘em up,” John ordered coldly. “He’s gonna wanna see this.”
With a hand on his hair and his arms locked in place, Peter’s men yanked him to his feet. He pulled himself forward, only to have Ward dig his fingers into the bullet hole, tearing at his flesh. They pulled him back down on his knees, driving a foot into his calf. Helplessly, Peter writhed, thrashing against their hold a few mere yards away from the terrified girl. 
John sauntered up behind Honey, a smug grin plastered on his face. The woman lay motionless like a possum, bent over the edge of the desk. She stared at the mess of objects on Peter’s desk, shards of the battle. They shifted in and out of focus as her glossy eyes welled with tears. She let her mind take flight, drifting off to a cabin in the mountains. 
“No!” Peter felt his voice crack and a scream lodge in his throat. “I’ll fuckin’ kill you, Walker! Ya, hear me? Look at me, you sonuvabitch! I’ll rip ya apart, sweartogod—” 
John glanced at Rollins who kept careful watch over his boss. “If he makes a move, put a bullet in his back. That way he can still watch me snap her neck like a toothpick.”
Panic surged through Peter at the order, his amber eyes bright with terror. “I’m the one you want, yeah?” he pleaded, chest heaving. “Fight me like a man, you fuckin’ coward!”
John ignored him. He pressed his hips up against the seat of Honey’s joggers. He gripped the collar of her zip-up hoodie, tearing it down her shoulders.
She was elsewhere. Watching Peter’s fingers dance across the ivory keys of a piano. She liked being wherever she was. It was always easier for her to go there. Always easier for her to run away.
John ran his greedy hands down her spine and back up again beneath the filthy camisole she wore. His touch felt like a centipede crawling across her skin. A shudder racked through her as vomit climbed up her throat.
“Somebody’s excited,” John chuckled sadistically. 
She breathed out a silent sob. She climbed the limbs of the maple tree in her backyard. Picturing the home she would make there one day.
John leaned down, pressing a rough kiss to the back of her shoulder. “Just like old times. Ain't that right, Peach?”
It was like being shocked by electricity. Letting her fingertips brush against the metal of a wall plug while still in the outlet. Every muscle in her body tensed. Her eyes darkened. Pupils blown wide.
“I don’t like that.”
John paused as his hands reached the waistband of her sweats. He glanced up at her, still amused, eyeing the back of her head. “What’d you say?”
She blinked. Her vision sharpened. “That’s not my name.”
His brow furrowed, his agitation spiking. “You’re gonna have to speak up.”
“I said ‘that’s not my name.’” Her volume grew louder, every syllable coming out sharper and more jagged. Her teeth ground together as she fixed her gaze forward, focusing on the grain of the wood. 
“My name isn’t Peach,” she hissed. Molten-hot fury filled her while her tone hardened like rapidly cooling lava. “I’m not your Peach. I’m not your Kitten.” 
Each word punctuated with a twitch in her eye and a tremor in her voice. 
“I’m not your Doll Face. Or your Whore. Or your Pawn.” 
Acid rolled off her tongue as she trembled with anger. Her rage was so thick she nearly choked on it, barely able to form words. Slowly, she pushed herself up off the desk, her spine turning to steel even as he towered over her.
“And I’m not your fucking wife,” she gritted her teeth, eyes black with hatred. “Not anymore.” 
She turned her head to glance back at John, leveling him with a vengeful look. 
“My name is Maricella Jimenez,” she hissed, sounding out each syllable carefully. “And you will remember it.” 
The hand positioned on the desk sprang forward at his face so fast that John could barely see it. His head whipped back and all he could register was white-hot, piercing pain shooting through his skull. 
John roared, reaching up with one hand to cover his face while the other hand dragged her off the desk to the ground. The guards jumped with shock, mouths agape, trying to discern what just occurred.
“Aggghhh!” John cried out with an agonized scream. Enraged, he clawed at his face, growling like a mildly-wounded grizzly bear. His thirst for blood compounded.
“Fucking bitch!” he roared, the creature inside of him twisting his vocal cords. When he straightened, half his face was covered in blood. His fingers shook as he struggled to see the damage she had done. 
His men gazed at him with dumbfounded stares. Which he could only half see. 
With a four-inch shard of broken glass from the console table lodged in his left eye socket, he’d never see anything out of that eye again. 
“You fucking bitch!” he sneered, practically drooling with outrage. “I’ll fuckin’ kill you, you fuckin’ bitch!” 
The sight of John’s face was nausea-inducing. Not only had the glass pierced his eye, but it sliced clean through, with half of his eyeball dangling from the nerve ending on his cheek. 
“Holy shit!” Ward gasped at the ghastly sight.
Rollins hissed at other men, their jaws still gaping wide. “Don’t just stand there! Do something, goddamnit!”
“You screwed up now, you slut!” John raged with ragged breath. “You know what you did? You assaulted a Federal Agent!” He wheeled around to spot her cowering on the floor behind the desk. He stomped toward her, murder in each footfall. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Do you have any idea who I am???”
John grabbed her by the forearm, wrenching her up. She faced him with fire in her eyes. In her free hand, her finger curled around the trigger of Peter’s gun.
“Who gives a fuck?” she sneered.
Looking John in the eyes, she pulled the trigger, watching as his forehead imploded. The bullet ripped through his brain, tearing it apart and exploding out the back of his skull. From there, his brain matter splattered like a microwaved tomato, spraying across the room.
“Oh shit!” The guards cried out in horror, swallowing back sickness as fragments of John’s skull rained down on them.
Rollins lunged forward, his weapon still drawn. He took three steps to the edge of the desk. 
“No!” Peter howled.
Another shot rang out. Honey held the gun firmly in her grip, shooting at the first human form that approached her. Rollins grunted, eyes wide with panic, as the bullet tore through his throat. He clutched his neck as hot liquid spilled out of his severed carotid artery. His look of agony was only matched by his look of astonishment.
Peter knocked Ward’s gun away from his temple, grabbing his wrist and directing the barrel at Malick. With Ward still clutching the gun, Peter pulled the trigger and shot Malick in the side. 
Malick doubled over, releasing his hold on Peter’s wounded shoulder. Ward strained to regain control of his weapon. They struggled briefly before Peter reached behind Ward’s suit jacket and yanked a combat knife out of its sheath. He buried the blade into Ward’s ribs, before ripping it out and plunging it in again and again. With a few quick jabs, the traitor’s torso was carved up into wet spaghetti.
Malick stumbled, struggling to recover from the bullet wound. Peter’s brain buzzed as Malick attempted to shoot him. He pivoted out of the way, using Ward’s body to block the shot. 
Honey fired the gun in her hand again, the bullet hitting the ceiling, but it was enough to distract Malick away from his target.
In a few blinks, Peter was on his feet and gripping Malick by the arm. Before the treacherous guard could fire his weapon, Peter skewered him with the hunting knife, driving it into the soft flesh behind the man’s chin.
Malick’s eyes went wide as the blade impaled his mouth, piercing his tongue. Peter snatched the back of the man’s head with a steel grip, even as his hands trembled with rage. He glared into Gideon’s eyes with bloodlust, pushing the knife up further—slowly—watching Malick squirm until the blade was buried to the hilt.
The man went limp in his hold. Once Peter watched the light fade from his eyes, he released him, finally sated. 
The sirens in his head quit blaring as soon as the threat was eliminated. The intense pressure dissipated as if a boulder had been lifted off Peter’s skull. 
He let out a long, ragged breath, his body broken and yet still pulsating with adrenaline. His eyes darted to the desk. He spotted the traumatized woman that held his heart standing behind it. His face softened. Took a step towards her.
She pivoted, still clutching the gun. Aimed it at him.
Peter went still. Fawn-hued eyes went wide. He glanced down the barrel, then back up at her.
She was astral. Her soul was only tethered to her body by a thin wire. She was a kite, tossed about the atmosphere, observing the scene outside the plane of time. 
She stared at him. Barely able to breathe. Her hand shook from the weight of the gun. 
“Whoa...” he whispered, his voice soft. He lifted his hands outward in a placating gesture. 
Her eyes were glazed over. Staring right through him.
He watched, heart pounding, as she turned her gaze downwards to the river of blood that leaked from Rollins’ corpse. Heart going cold, all that was left of his life leaked out of him like a broken faucet. No more damaging than a spilled glass of wine.
Lips sealed tight, her eyes darted over to the body closest to her.
John’s body.
Her monster lay slain at her feet. His jaw hung open in a disturbing grimace, a permanent final expression. The top of his head was now a concave shell. The image of him imprinted on her, burrowing in her memories.
She had never seen so much blood in her life. It was everywhere. Beneath her fingernails. In the tiny valleys of her skin. Dripping from her hair. It stained everything.
“Honey...” She looked only vaguely aware of Peter as he cooed gently at her, growing more apprehensive the longer her silence stretched on. “...Honey...?” he repeated slowly, his tongue going dry. 
This time, she brought her attention back to the front, her eyes finally finding his. Peter looked sick with worry, terrified of the irony that this was the exact same position they were in less than 48 hours before. 
Honey held her arm outstretched, fingers tremoring around the handle of the pistol, as she fixed Peter with an unreadable expression. He felt his heart thumping up into his throat. His growing alarm threatened to strangle him. 
Her legs were rigid even as she trembled like a tightrope walker stranded between skyscrapers. She gazed at him with a look of dread, shock seizing her body.
Peter mumbled her name desperately, chanting it like a prayer. “Honey, Honey, Honey, look at me. Look at me. Okay? Look—”
He took a step forward and she responded with a step backward, positioning him at the end of the barrel. He blinked, going still once again. His eyes misted over as he gazed at her with empathy.
“S’okay,” he softly said, closer to a plea. “Everything’s gonna be okay. You’re safe—”
“Stop telling me that.” She was firm, her eyes cold. 
Peter felt silent, eyes darting back and forth between her and the gun. Her breaths were short, nostrils flaring. His shoulders curved into a slump. Carefully, he lowered his hands. “I meant what I said before,” he delicately replied. “No more cages.” Her eyebrows furrowed sharply. “I made you a promise. You’re free.”
She blinked wide eyes, motionless in every other way. Warily, he glanced down at the gun. “You don’t hafta do anything—”
“Shut up!” she hissed, voice shaking. He shut his mouth immediately. Her gaze wandered, her mind spiraling out of control. She flicked her sights on the four corpses stretched out around them. Her tongue tasted like metal. The gunshot was still ringing in her ears.
“Get on your knees,” she commanded. Unlike the last time she said it, there was no sense of control in her tone. No sense of pleasure to be gained. Instead, she sounded desperate. 
Peter closed his eyes, heart sinking in his chest. “Okay.” Reluctantly, he slowly sank down until both knees were on the ground.
Her eyes flashed wildly as she glared, holding the pistol tighter in her hand. 
“S’okay,” Peter whispered out a lament. “S’okay, Honey. You’re gonna be okay.” With every repeated phrase, he relinquished more of his hope. Her eyes may have been unreadable, but her position was not. 
They were on opposite sides of the room. A continent apart. He was exiled to the unfortunate end of the barrel, along with the other men who used her as a means to an end. This was where he belonged.
A lump formed in his throat as he gazed up at her with wet eyes. “Everything is going to be okay now,” he said with a bittersweet curve of his mouth. “You have all the power, remember? Always did.” His eyes landed on the gun, then back up to hers. “No one’s gonna hurt you again.”
He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. Fear weighed heavily on her, dragging her down into its depth. Her eyes shined like glass. The glisten in his gaze was a mirror reflection of her sorrow and regret.
“Whatever you gotta do,” Peter assured her. But it was more than reassurance. It was a gentle promise made to a frightened girl that the monsters were all gone now. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
He hesitated to speak the true meaning of his implication. Instead, his eyes shined brightly on her like rays of moonlight, as if he could illuminate her path through the dark. A sincere apology sparkled at the bottom of their bourbon glow, but also, he offered forgiveness. He fixed her with a look of compassion before closing his eyes. 
He let go.
Let go of his rage. Of his vendetta. Of his grief. Of his fantasies.
He let go of the idea of Honey.
From the depths of his bitter heart, he gave her his unconditional love.
“What I want...” 
He stirred at the closeness of her voice, his eyes snapping open to find her standing inches over him. The gun rested at her side until she let it fall from her grasp. She stared into his eyes, her tears cresting over the ridges of her heart-aching smile.
She surged forward in the blink of an eye, crashing her lips into his. Her arms crossed behind his shoulders as she collapsed into his embrace. Her tongue breached his mouth, and with it, he felt like his heart would leap out of his chest. She breathed him in, relishing in the taste of his devotion, responding to it with love letters written on her lips. It was like her whole body was on fire, and only he could control the flame.
His hands wrapped around her lower back as he worshiped each twist of her tongue. Her kiss was better than morphine, numbing his body and heart to every injury he’d ever suffered.
Only when they were both dizzy and out of breath did she break the kiss. She gazed down at him with eyes that could scorch. 
“What I want... is for you to touch me.”
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Continue to Part 21
[back to masterlist]
A/N: I want to say thank you for the incredible support you all have shown me in this last break. Part 21 is already finished and will be released this week. Real compassion exists even on the internet and I just can't even deal...
Part 23 will be the end.
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atlas-of-galaxies · 2 years ago
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Hi omg I adore your art (esp your yttd stuff) just. Everything about it is just so cool I’ve sent it to my freimds a couple times being like “YOO LOOK AT THIS COOL ARTIST” and I was wondering if you could/if you have given advice on how to diversify ur art? Like, I personally struggle wit the fact I can probably draw a total of 4 hairstyles and probably have a real bad case of same face syndrome, and while I’m really trying to practice I keep looking to your stuff as a prime example of good™️ amd was hoping you could give some pointers
Augh it’s late sorry if this makes no sense or is like single-handedly the most annoying ask you’ve ever seen
thank you so much for your kind words!! <3 I'd be happy to share some character design tips I've learned over time.
now before I start, I just want to emphasize that none of this is new or revolutionary by any means, nor am I an expert. I still have plenty of room to grow myself! I'll just be sharing my reasoning for specific character design details as examples of character design theory at large, utilizing my yttd designs as examples because I've had almost two years to get comfortable with my styles for them.
the two biggest things that have helped me in character design are to 1. emphasize the character's personality/identity/hidden agendas through their design and 2. draw fat characters. I cannot stress how important it is to get comfortable with drawing more body types. it is vital to character design diversity, and it sets characters apart in more ways than just color and hairstyle.
it is also the backbone of shape theory, which is an excellent, subtle way to clue the audience into what a character might be like. take my Keiji design for example:
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Keiji presents himself as an upstanding, reliable person that others that can depend on - hence, his form is big, tall, and solid, like a sturdy wall. big, blocky shapes make up his body. but his body language is conflicting, with one open, inviting arm and the other hidden behind his neck.
what sets the viewer off about what he's really like is the expression. shady eyes, never anything wider than a smirk on his lips, permanent eyebags - whatever has happened to this guy, it's taken a toll.
I'd also like to take this time to point out hair, since you mentioned it; I'm a big fan of bangs as a form of character expression! Keiji's are shaggy and messy, nearly falling over his eyes to add to the shady look. as for the rest of the shape of the hair, I like to start from the part (easy to spot in my Keiji design - just look for the brown hair!) and go from there in either direction.
don't be afraid to keep it simple! I used to be unable to end short hair in anything other than a mullet because I wasn't sure how to resolve it, but usually, all you need is just a single line to define the back of the neck. and again, shape language is your friend here! just look at the difference between Sara and Joe's hair:
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Sara's hair is easily parsed into angles and blocks - it is orderly and uptight, just like the image she projects as a star student. on the other hand, I couldn't even find regular shapes in Joe's!! the messy spontaneity of it speaks a lot to how he is as a person! Keiji's hair is somewhere in-between; it's got that blocky orderliness as a nod to his time as a policeman, but it's just messy enough to suggest something's off.
we'll look at Shin next. he's another character with lots to hide, but he goes about it a very different manner, hence the different build:
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Shin is one of my designs where I think shape theory especially shines. without his protective scarf and big coat, the guy is tiny. he looks vulnerable and weak, and he knows it - hence his hunched posture, as if he's curling in on himself to protect his vital organs. it's like how cats hate being pet on their stomachs, you know?
add the scarf and the jacket though - and he actually has a presence now! he's still a bit curled in, but for different reasons: the scarf is heavy on his shoulders, quite literally weighing him down.
focusing on his face though - I give Sara and Shin similar facial features (long noses, heavily angled profiles) to emphasize their nature as foils. it's especially obvious here, I think:
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despite being at such odds, they're very similar people - and small details in design choices can help clue the viewer into drawing these similarities, even on a subconscious level.
and I think that's all I've got for now! hope this helped just a little bit! good luck!
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mandi-cakes · 6 months ago
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In sharing more of my bg3 Tavs, let's start with my Dark Urge, Loth-sworn drow, Faeryl T'sarran... At level 1: Rogue Assassin
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And funny little rant... It's the night of the tiefling party. I finally get the 'cheeky little pup' line from Astarion. However However However Fae speaks to Lae'zel just before ending the night for the tryst in the woods, and she apparently low-key gets chuffed (imo) that my drow didn't acknowledge her githyanki 'you're a badass, please fuck me' energy. So, she talks about how she might share Astarion's bed after the party (cuz my drow 'failed' to seduce the mighty gith). And I'm like, bitch, not if I get there first... A few cheeky/sassy/flirty lines later, Fae bags the Twink™️. He and Faeryl meet in the woods. Shmexy times happen. Next morning, come to find out...Lae'zel did indeed seek out Astarion... This makes me think that he sought her out first, then met up with Fae... Um, how dare?! Outside the game I understand the meaning behind the 'you seemed distant during', however my drow would take it differently in the moment. So. Astarion... YOU DARE GIVE THIS DROW, FAERYL T'SARRAN, 'BETTER THAN THE REST, FUTURE RULER OF ALL', YOUR SLOPPY SECONDS?!
A silly narrative moment with Fae. (I'm sure I have screencaps of Fae's seggsual escapades but atm I can't get to them) To be clear, Fae is not a full-on evil Dark Urge, but not good either. Absolute bastard, if you will.
At one point they do a whoopsie, by having...accidentally...made a Cleric/Path of the Ancients Paladin Shadowheart break her oath by participating in what I guess counts as murder... hehe, good times, good times... After reaching Baldur's Gate, and in retrieving Minsc... Heh, I never realized you can just be granted a temporary bank pass, provided you talk to the available bank teller first and pass the appropriate checks...versus being invisible and sneaky the instant you walk in... Faeryl: -sees that teller is nervous- "Hey pal, you seem agitated... " Teller: "This big guy came in earlier with the boss, seemed kinda weird to me." Faeryl: -100% that rogue- "Hmmm, sounds like a security issue. I'm a bit of a security expert myself, you should let me inspect that..." Teller: "That doesn't sound sus at all. Here's a temporary bank pass, just don't mention my name." Faeryl: "Thank you, friend. You're not at all a terrible judge of character!" -proceeds to rob the place blind-
What a gremlin. By level 11, they becomes a Rogue Assassin/Eldritch Knight Fighter Vampire--after long establishing a romance with Astarion, and helping him ascend.
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So dastardly. I'm very proud of how not a good person they are, lol. They are also quite miffed that everyone is only focusing on how Astarion is now a true vampire, but paying no attention to how they're a vamp too. This is discrimination against Drows.
By the end of this run, Faeryl is planted firmly at Vampire Lord Astarion's side, ready to rule Baldur's Gate, and one day, the world--they are also more than happy to fulfill Asty's dark deeds and wants, so long as he's happy to fulfill Fae's.
I'll post more Tavs soon.
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nobodysdaydreams · 1 year ago
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The Glenns were probably fine (at least okay) people. They just didn't understand Nicholas and so they treated him like a "normal child" and hoped for the best
(Also I wonder if Curtain ever went looking for them...)
Anon, please know you have my respect, because you are BRAVE for this one. I have posted polls that have been (jokingly) like "pick an mbs character to hit with a golf cart" and I'll get at least 2-3 reblogs of people aggressively demanding the Glenns get flattened. So coming in my ask box with this take was a choice, but I'm very glad you did it because oh boy do I have some thoughts™️. (ESPECIALLY YOUR THING ABOUT CURTAIN LOOKING FOR THEM!)
Forgive me but I'm about to rant like crazy.
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I think some just assume the Glenns were abusive parents and that Nicholas suffered a lot as child, and that's a perfectly fine head canon to have if you want it. However, we don't really see direct evidence for that. It is true that Nicholas' parents aren't mentioned again in the show, but if Nicholas is in his 40s/50s and his parents were in their 30s/40s/50s when they adopted him, they would likely be very old or deceased by the time the show takes place, it doesn't necessarily mean Nicholas cut contact with them.
Now, the one thing I do agree with you on is that they are flawed parents. The most obvious flaw we see is them only adopting one twin and never taking Nicholas to even visit his brother. However, there are a few things about the scene of them meeting Nicholas that stand out to me. And honestly? I think we as a fandom need to be giving the orphanage director a lot more attention then the Glenns, because evil or bad-but-well-intention, people barely mention her. And I'd be happy to explain why they should.
In the scene of the Glenns adopting Nicholas, the orphanage director originally leads them to Nathaniel. Obviously the parents are uncomfortable with the way Nathaniel introduces himself and his monologue, but looking back on it, I don't just think it's because they found his monologue cringy and decided right then and there to adopt the other twin. I think the Glenns were uncomfortable because when they heard Nathaniel's name, they realized the orphanage director had accidently led them to the wrong twin and this wasn't the one they were planning to adopt, and they didn't want to seem rude. But then Nathaniel started doing his pitch to them, and asked them to take him and his brother, which likely made them feel really guilty. Why do I think this? Because despite leading them to Nathaniel, the orphanage director immediately goes, "oh he's right over here" and awkwardly saves the parents by leading them over to Nicholas, and the parents introduce themselves by saying "hello. We've heard you like to read." This means that the orphanage director A) can't tell the twins apart, because she knew they wanted Nicholas from the beginning, but initially led them to Nathaniel on accident and B) spoke to the parents about the twins earlier, and told them about Nicholas.
Now the question becomes: why would the orphanage director recommend Nicholas to a set of parents who can only take one child? Was it because they both loved reading and were such a good match that it just made sense, and people back then just didn't understand the importance of keeping siblings together? That's one possibility. It's also perhaps the most plausible. If the Glenns were told that Nathaniel was stifling Nicholas (as evidenced by the orphanage performance), and that it was best for Nicholas to be separated from his brother and have his turn in the spotlight, then who were they to argue with the experts?
There is however a darker possibility. In season 2, Nicholas (under the happiness) and Curtain are reminiscing about the science experiments they used to do and the chaos they would cause (they mention making a volcano that exploded everywhere and made Nicholas and likely countless other children sick for weeks). If they were known for causing disruption, the orphanage director might have been trying to get rid of them by any means necessary as quickly as possible (especially since the older they got, the less likely they were to get adopted). She might have done so by trying to push them individually on families that could only take one, but there's something else she might have done.
It's possible that the Glenns were actually initially open to taking both twins, but the orphanage director discouraged the parents from adopting both boys, because she worried that if they got into mischief together and the parents complained, the orphanage would gain a bad reputation. Since Nicholas was the "easy" twin, and his personality matched with these parents, she told the Glenns that it was better for the twins to be separated, because Nathaniel was controlling and it would be healthier for Nicholas to have his own family. It was what was best for him. And the Glenns might have been skeptical of this, but the orphanage director is the expert. And it's not a total lie, Nathaniel did stifle him. And surely Nicholas would say something if he was unhappy with the situation? And Nathaniel had said that it was okay if they could only take one and that they wanted what was best for each other, so surely this must be fine right?
Look, in the scenario where the orphanage director comes out looking the best, the twins aren't getting adopted because there just aren't a lot of parents looking to adopt sibling groups, and they're getting older and there also aren't a lot of parents that want to adopt teens. So she's trying to get them into homes as best she can and separating them was a last resort, or perhaps she genuinely believed it was better for Nicholas to be on his own where Nathaniel wasn't controlling him all the time. Unfortunately, she's overwhelmed, has more kids than she can handle, and can't tell the twins apart, which is what caused to her to accidently introduce the Glenns to Nathaniel before she realized her mistake. Which isn't great, but more understandable. Worst case scenario? She found the twins a nuisance and wanted them gone by any means necessary and was pushing for them to go to separate homes and using the fact that Nathaniel was stifling Nicholas to support her reasoning, even though Nathaniel was only 12 years old.
But there's one thing both of these possibilities have in common: the Glenns would go into the adoption believing they were doing the right thing. That it was better for Nicholas to be separated from his brother. That they would better parents for Nicholas then Nathaniel, because Nicholas shared their love of reading and they had similar interests. That if Nicholas missed his brother he would have said something (obviously they're his parents, they should have just known, but the "expert" told them otherwise, and they're flawed people). They also figured that if Nathaniel said they wanted what was best for each other and the orphanage director said this was what was best, then there was nothing to discuss. It doesn't excuse what they did. They should have seen their son was upset, and should have done more to investigate the problem. Nicholas shouldn't have had to say anything. But I also don't think they necessarily did it maliciously (but they certainly could have, and if you want to have that head canon, you totally can).
Sorry for the rant. I'm not trying to excuse the Glenn's or the orphanage director (she needs a shorter name)'s actions, but I do respectfully think the "Nicholas' adoptive parents were abusive and terrible and the evidence is right there" takes should also consider the way the orphanage was being run. Overall, it was just an awful situation for both twins. They needed to go to home with parents who would teach them proper boundaries and respect their individuality, while also understanding the importance of them being a family. Nicholas admits that he didn't come back because he needed freedom, but the sad part is he could have had freedom and his brother if the twins had parents who would have stepped in and said "hey Nathaniel, we love you, but don't treat your brother like that." But no one at the orphanage ever did that, and Nicholas had no reason to believe his parents would be more hands on and involved than his teachers in that regard, because he'd never had parents before (and probably assumed parents just acted like teachers who gave you room and board and would just allow Nathaniel to continue to treat him like that, because what else is he supposed to think?). So he always thought he could never have both things. And that makes me sad, but in the best way, so thanks Anon.
FINALLY. Your statement on Curtain looking for them. OH BOY.
I haven't gotten to this part in my fic yet (and I don't know if I ever will) so possible mild spoilers I guess, but here's the thing: I think he did.
Because Nicholas promised to come back. And then days turn to weeks turn to months turn to years and he doesn't. At which point Nathaniel can assume two things. The first is to immediately assume that Nicholas didn't come back from him because he decided he was better off without his brother OR to assume that the people that adopted him are bad or abusive and that Nicholas might have tried to come back for him but failed, and he needs to be rescued.
I think you see where I'm going with this one. Nathaniel waits but Nicholas doesn't come. He thinks this is because his brother is in trouble. He runs away to find him. And eventually he does find Nicholas and discovers him living happily with his new family. Without him.
And the rest of the story writes itself from there. Well, actually it doesn't, and that comes later (why must my fic ideas be so long gosh dang it...) but I hope you like this.
Thank you Anon. Sorry this was so long.
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mariska · 2 years ago
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i am literally nothing if not a person who has been on this site for 10+ years and loves partaking in Games And Trends™️ so here is a specific scenario situation poll for things that have occurred in my life. thank u 4 ur time.
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biitchcakes · 7 months ago
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@mastcrmarksman sent: Positivity party time. AURORAAAAAAAA THE MOST DARLING OF DARLINGS I LOVE YOU FIRST AMD FOREMOST You bring an absolute joy of Jessica Drew to life everything I read of yours is just That is HER. That is the girl. You are someone who gets her characters, and I just could just gush about Jess and Clint to the moon and back; gonna give these two the character dynamic and relationship they deserve 💖✨️ secondly you are one of my favorite writers and I just love all your thoughts on the marvel universe. And just big inspiration for me. And you spoil me sometimes I am so happy to know you and consider you one of my dearest friends met through here 💕 BIG HUGS AND KISSES TO YOU 🦭
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IIIZZZZZYYYY 🥺🥺🥺
First of all, I LOVE YOU TOO 💜✨ OODLES AND BUNCHES !! I am SO happy we've gotten to be friends through our lil hobby on here, you're absolutely one of my nearest and dearest on here too. I adore your muses, fully cradle and smooch them all, and I get so excited over everything you and I write together. We ARE giving Jess and Clint what they deserved, what they both weren't ready for at the time, and I love how we've gotten to develop and explore their relationship together.
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Second of all, I'm sobbing HGDKSG 😭 what do you MEAN I'm one of your favourite writers ?? A big inspiration ?? My heart bursts Izzy, I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me. Especially since I very much consider the same about you !! You KNOW your babies, the way you talk about them is just amazing to me. I love learning more and more about Clint, getting deep-diving insights into the man. Jess never fails to poke her head out when Clint and Greer come knocking - you always give me major muse, big time.
And please, I always love hearing from you and your Marvelous ( ha ) opinions. I love yappin' away about our babies and getting direct insight from The Clint Expert-in-Chief™️
Mwah, a dozen chef kisses, big bear hugs and smooches, thank you for the message 🥺💜💖✨
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