#yourchildisnotapaycheck

[24stepmother]

Nightmares

When our child first came to live with us 4-5 months ago she was having nightmares that her sister would die, and they esclated. She would look out our front window for her because she knew something bad was going to happen she just wasnt sure what, and they dont even live in the same province as us. Of course thinking it would help console her I said its okay your sister is with mom, nothing will happen. This was an almost catalist, she immediatly started freaking out. I just held her and loved her. These are the moments that break my heart. These are the moments that make me hate the mother. It makes me feel like my child was protecting the little sister from something and now that shes not there she terrified.

[24stepmother]

Our child came home from christmas shouting to the roof tops that im not the mother, and to make it clear i’ve never said I am or asked to be called anything but my name. This idea I’m sure came from the mothers need to have only one mother in her life although my child is terrified that one day her actual dad will stop loving her because that is what her mother told about her “ex-step dads” that they dont love mom or us kids anymore so she has to find us a new daddy.(Quoted directly from the 4 year olds mouth) How can one woman (the mother) who clearly cannot take care of herself sufficently be so mean and manipulative? to use a 4 year old? my child is being used as a pawn in the mothers emotinal rollercoaster, but the worst part is that you cannot save your own child from their mother. My child proceeded to have nightmares that I was going to die, We had to console her at 3AM. I want to know what has been said because My child wasn’t having these nightmares before the visit with the mother. 

[24stepmother]

Backstory

My partner and I met just about a year and a half ago. My step child and I met about 8 months ago. More recently the mother decided to take her own life and she was the only guardian of our child within a day of travel. she pulled through after being hospitalized. This is the straw that broke the camels back. We researched and got the lawyer with the best reputation of winning costody battles for fathers, as the whole system wants you to think that the mother is always in the right we were disheartened but knew that we needed to change the trajectory of our childs life because if it stayed in the mothers hands we are fearful for the life of our child. Random men constantly paraded in and out of the house. Our child has had 4 “Step Dads” since i’ve been apart of her life. I am the only woman that has ever met my partners child and it was difficult for me because he kept me from her for so long but we both knew it was what was best for her. We needed to know that our relationship was strong and stable before including our child.