#your trauma isnt valid‚ you were excluded because your trauma wasn't the kind i was talking about

[gibbearish]

@blob-chan alright, a few things here.

firstly, i do not appreciate you speaking to me this way. these tags are deeply condescending and passive aggressive, and tacking "i'm sure you're reasonable and will agree with me though, right? 🥰" onto the end doesn't negate that. if your comment has the same tone and vibe as a kidnapper coaching their victim through a call to their family then you don't get to pretend you're actually being nice, we both know "i'm sure you'll agree" really means "you'd Better agree or else you'll be a bad person" and i am not interested in playing pretend that it doesnt. you do not know anything about me and did not know i existed before seeing this post, nor i you. you don't get to impose your beliefs and expectations onto me as if we are close.

secondly, yes, sometimes when a person is talking about their experiences, they will make generalizations, and occasionally there will be people those generalizations leave out. i do feel for you, but part of being an adult is learning how to recognize that like. that's a part of life. it is not physically possible to address all possible contingencies when talking abt a topic, and i'm sure on some level you're aware of that which is why you included the part saying "i'm not gonna come out the gate being the person who's mad their experiences weren't included because that would be weird and presumptuous". but you then go on to do Exactly That, you can dress it up in Totally Not Pressuring Languge all you want but that doesn't really change anything. so that makes you including that part feel less like you understand that doing that kind of thing is wrong and want to make it clear that's not your intention, and more like you Know That Kind Of Thing Is Wrong And Would Make You Look Shitty But Really Want To Do It Anyways so youre scrambling for plausible deniability.

third, no, i did not say "everyone raised christian had to think baptism was good for their religious trauma to be valid," and i KNOW you knew that part, you directly said "i'm sure you're a reasonable person and wouldn't think that," which really begs the question of why you then continued speaking to me as if i do? you knew what i actually meant and directly said so. as far as i can see there is no reason to act otherwise, unless you just wanted to punish me and were deliberately misinterpreting me to justify it. what this comment actually boils down to is that you are indeed /very/ upset that my post left you out, and you know that it isn't a reasonable response to place that on my shoulders, but for some reason you decided to just do it anyways and expected me to Politely Pretend it wasn't obvious that was what you were doing. condeming your own reaction as unreasonable while still actively doing it doesn't like. make it not be what you're doing.

my post was explicitly made in response to a trend of never-religious people being condescending towards ex-religious people because they automatically assume they would have been able to see through all of the conditioning and indoctrination simply by merit of how massive their brains are despite having no experience with the church to be able to judge that. your experience of having high church involvement but successfully seeing through it early was not included because That's Not What I Was Talking About, and while i can understand how that can come across as invalidating, that was your own interpretation based on your personal experiences and trauma, not based on what was actually said. there is a difference between someone saying your experience isn't real and someone just talking about other experiences, and it's important to learn how to recognize that difference, both for your healing and just for Not being a dick to people for no reason.

on that subject though, even if that had been what i said, this would still be an unreasonable response imo. if you have to pressure people into agreeing with you because theyre scared you'll get mad at them, that's. like. a really bad manipulative thing and you should stop doing that. it's shitty and hurtful even when you are correct, but in my experience there's a reason someone would have to use argument strategies like that and it's because The Things They're Saying Are Wrong And Therefore There's Nothing Real They CAN Use As Backup. and again like i really cant emphasize enough that that is manipulation, like. if thats something you find yourself using on friends you very much need to work on that because that kind of behavior will have them walking on eggshells around you worried youre going to blow up at them if they say anything that could in any way come across as disagreeing with you, i have had multiple ex-friends who would pull things like this a lot and we're no longer friends specifically because of that kind of toxic behavior. and to be clear this isn't me saying i think you do do that, just like. a forewarning.

anyways. tldr i am sorry you were left out but like. that's because the conversation wasn't about you. and you directly said you know that, so you then continuing to speak to me the way you did is bad arguing practice at best, and at worst an openly manipulative move used by liars when theyre lying and therefore have no real supporting argument. im glad youre aware on some level that it wasn't directed at you and it would be unhealthy to take it personally, but you kinda have to then also do the second part where you. actually work on not taking it personally, rather than being passive aggressive at a random stranger. you dont get to say it would be presumptuous and weird to take out your religious trauma on me based on your own incorrect interpretation of what i said while Literally Doing Exactly That and expect it to come across as anything other than denial. i wish you the best in processing your trauma but this isn't the way to do that.

kids who werent raised christian being like "lol baptising children is whack if they tried to do that to me i would start doing things to make it look like i was possessed" no you would not. you would bask in the pride and approval coming from the adults around you and you would quietly wait your turn because you were told from birth that sinning sends you to hell and baptism is The Promise that youre dedicating your life to jesus that youve had hyped up for years and watched other people be fawned over as they cry happy tears about it and you do NOT want to fuck up your One Big True Promise To Love Jesus Forever So You Don't Get Tortured For Eternity when you are literally 8 years old. im begging yall to remember its a thousand times easier to see the church's bullshit for what it is when you're not actively in the church. eight year old you is not thinking about trying to fight back against an oppressive religious group indoctrinating children because You Are The Children Being Indoctrinated. stop acting like you would've magically known better if it were you.