#your stewardess is not kidding about this containing spoilers

[irisbleufic]

...nope. Nope nope nope.

[firebirdsdaughter]

…

… I absolutely do not go there, but… I need to rant somewhere and I refuse to start discord on YT w/ strangers.

Well, spoilers for the new Amnesia game.

I’m sorry, but I will die on the hill that Anton had a valid point. Would never call it right, but the whole point of Amnesia is being in a situation where literally everything is fucked. Like, given the situation the man was in, what he’d just seen… No. I don’t blame him from resorting to that.

He wasn’t just trying to save ‘himself.’ Think about it. They crash land in the desert—okay. Bad, but disasters happen, you do your best. He tries to tend to the injured, they start moving.

Then, they meet this weird magical being who wants a baby in return for helping them. Now, I will say he doesn’t react the best to that, but the fact is, I think they kinda hint at the start that he’s not exactly prepared/fit for this kind of intense situation. He panics a bit bc he thinks that people are going to die, esp since a number of them have already died, but then the Queen does the magic water thing that allegedly heals them. Okay.

But then they get this weird sickness that’s horribly mutating them and making them turn violent and aggressive. They start forgetting who they are and start attacking others. He somehow gets away w/ one of the others, but the rest are left behind, descending into madness.

He may be able to deduce that it was from the water, he’s definitely trying to treat Yasmin, he knows laudanum works. But there must be other concerns surfacing in his head. What if it starts w/ the water, but can go from there. What if it’s contagious. If so, how contagious is it. This is a disease that causes people to regress and turn extremely violent. Right before Tasi arrives at the village, he witness Yasmin murder everyone there. An entire village.

From his perspective? This isn’t just a risk to them specifically. If they take this disease, mutation, whatever it is, back to civilisation? What kind of hell would that unleash?

I don’t think he’s weighing Amari against just the expedition. I think he’s weighing Amari against the possibility of starting a plague, of one of them making it out but then turning. He’s weighing making a desperate deal w/ a very powerful being bc he just watched a stewardess violently slaughter an entire village on her own, despite being apparently still in partial control, only stopping when he killed her.

So my point is:

1) doctors are fucking humans you arse, they are not perfect, they can feel fear, they can panic, not every single doctor in the world is cut out for crashing in the middle of the desert, and I’d say esp not for fucking supernatural entities to tear his coworkers apart, or watching said coworkers turn into said monsters.

2) he just watches Yasmin murder the entire village, despite still having partial control over herself, and she specifically says she killed them, he saw her go after Tasi and not stop until he shot her—honestly, like Tasi, he has seen first hand the effects of this ‘disease,’ he has seen it’s process, what it does to people, what it turns them into, I’m not surprised he’d be panicking.

3) there’s no known cure and he doesn’t know it’s not contagious—sure, the villagers didn’t seem to get it, but maybe it’s carried by blood, maybe it’s slow acting, additionally, if they get out w/out being cured, what if they regress, go on a killing spree back in civilisation? What if it is contagious and by going back w/out a cure they set off a horrible plague, the end of the world? He’s been waiting w/ Yasmin at the village the whole time, stewing, watching her deteriorate, Tasi lost her memories but he retained his. He’s not weighing Amari’s chances just for the crew, he’s weighing the world, or however many people one of them could kill back in civilisation before they’re put down.

I’m of the opinion that he was genuinely wanting to get out and run tests until Yasmin murdered the village and he cracked. I can’t think of many people who’d be able to hold it together after seeing that. Esp any kind of medical professional, who I think their first thought would be ‘what if we spread this?’

Was it right? Well, no. Also, they do make it pretty clear the Queen would never have honoured her word, not really.

But as above, everything was fucked. There was really no good choice. On the one hand, you maybe get out, but you’re still infected, you could still mutate, the baby will still die, heck, the mother could kill her. Maybe it’s contagious and you start a zombie plague. Other option is… All of you just die there, try to end the disease, keep it contained. But he’s a doctor, he’s got a mindset to save as many lives as possible. Also, baby still dies.

I actually like the doctor’s character, bc he’s a realistic depiction of an ordinary man who was not equipped for this kind of hell to start w/, was never cut out to be on this kind of expedition in the first place, had a nice private practice in the city, who has been dropped into hell, just witnessed a single young woman massacre the people trying to help them, doesn’t know what the deal w/ the disease is, if it’s contagious, if they’d ever been able to hold on long enough to find a cure, or if they’d just regress later anyway, there’s fucking supernatural shit going on… Frankly, I’m impressed he held it together as long as he did. He’s a regular man who cracked under absolutely unimaginable circumstances. No doctor wakes up in the morning and expects to be dropped into the middle of the desert to watch his companions die and/or mutate into murderous monsters bc some scary ghost lady wants a kid. After everything he saw… I don’t blame him.

Again, not a good or the best choice, def wouldn’t call it morally correct. I know protagonist centred morality is in play, I know the player sympathises w/ Tasi bc you follow her the whole story, know her past, and while Is ay this, I do also understand her reaction. I’m just saying I also understand his and think it was valid, given the circumstances.

I don’t think there were any good choices. They were both right and wrong.

[irisbleufic]

Bertie anon again

Then I hope it brings you comfort, anon *hugs*

The eeriness of seeing a message like this one in my inbox post-late-2013-to-mid-2015 (because at that point in time, I knew a disproportionate number of people upset about another relevant piece of media, and messages like yours were common) only adds to the distress. I was afraid of a lot of things, but Newt possessed by Precursors (or under kaiju influence, or whatever you want to call it) and a fiercely devoted, pining Hermann being all-around mistreated by him, it…really came top on my Do Not Want list. I’d seen it done, seen the damage that all-pervasive proximity to it did to so many friends in this fandom that I care for so much. That’s almost the entire reason why I took my unlikely little December 2013 one-shot and expanded it, kept going, and said, here, I love you, and I love them more than I’ve loved any fictional couple in a long time. And that is still true, even if post-2015 I wasn’t actively writing them anymore. Newt and Hermann still get an emotional rise out of me that’s only equaled by how I feel about my Good Omens crew (both the real folks I’ve met over the years and the fictional ones I continue to write about). Also, there’s the personal layer of triggered, re: knowing what it feels like to love someone beyond reason and have them suddenly start behaving like a completely different person, and have it last for years.

TL;DR, I agree: when you have that much encompassing emotional involvement in a pairing and/or writing project, seeing some version of a pre-existing nightmare become canon is cold, cold business. So is watching Mako Mori die for no fucking reason, and not even in a Jaeger.

[irisbleufic]

Alice can’t replace Bertie. No fucking chance

…I was doing okay on the not-crying front until

[irisbleufic]

...sobriety will not be happening this weekend. It is hereby cancelled.