#your parents are designated Good People so they will replace you and you'll be fine with that bc you recognise your replacement's

[emdotcom]

I've been quietly cooking summat that I've not mentioned to another soul. I have no plans to do much of anything with it, other than stew, so, here goes:

Tw for themes of ableism, lobotomy, child cruelty.

If you could have all the difficulties & strifes in life just snipped away, & get everything you've ever wanted for free, delivered on a silver platter, would you want that? If I told you that with a few simple operations, I could take everything you don't like about yourself -- your bad habits, disorders, the things that makes other people shun you, anything like that -- & just take it away, wouldn't you want that? No matter how much it costs?

The idea is that, in this little world I've set up, humanity has been able to nail down exact portions of the brain that cause all those foul, undesirable traits that make like harder for everybody, down to being able to just pluck them out. &, Better yet, we've been able to find the exact parts of the brain that give us those good traits that make you valued & desired & loved, enough that they could just... Stitch those in, in the place of all those nasty things they just cut out.

We know these things, down to an exact science. But we don't know how to replicate them.

No matter what you do, no matter how perfectly you recreate & integrate, there is some intangible spark that prevents artificial brain matter from working as intended. So, of course, you'd need a brave volunteer for those shiny new good traits -- a donor.

For the amount of money you get for more desirable traits, there's always going to be somebody willing to sell these things away. Of course, wouldn't it be more efficient to just cultivate it?

Did you know children pick up new information far faster than adults do? There's theories on why, a sort of necessity that demands you pick things up quickly, so you can survive. Here, though, it serves our purposes just fine. They've very malleable -- you can mold kids into honor students, then just clip that knowledge out of their head & into the skull of the highest bidder. What happens to the kid? Well, they've just lost a considerable amount of brain matter that you're certainly not replacing, so you just... Send them back to school again, have them develop a new skill you can take, again & again, until there's nothing left to steal away.

That's the setting. A sort of boarding school used to cultivate young minds, marketed as a home for troubled & abandoned kids to be turned out into proper adults, but really just a slaughter house full of spare parts.

I've got ideas, yeah, mostly about a teacher -- a machine designed to turn out as many excellent students as fast as possible, but one that's cottoned on to the fact that they're slowly sending these kids to their doom. They work hard to teach & parent these kids & make them as good as can be, & then the kids disappear for a little while. When they come back, they're missing a few pieces, & all the work they & that child just put in has been robbed away, leaving a broken & upset child behind. &, Still, they have to teach -- you can't go against your basic programming. If you teach too many too well, you'll lose them, & if you teach too few you go in for a recalibration, & then you'll lose pieces of yourself. You're trying to work around your limitations, all the fail-safes etched into every line of code to just remember what is happening & try to help as much as you can without being noticed, but it's never going to be enough. You have a limited memory, when it comes to your students -- when you meet a new one, the oldest entry gets deleted. You're etching down faces & names onto scraps of paper, what their favorite colors were, how fussy they were when it was time to sleep, anything you can remember so that this little bit can't be taken away, too, but you come back to this paper & you don't know any of these kids. Even though it's all your hand writing, you've never seen any of them before.

I have idea about a student, a new one, one that notices how often their classmates have "episodes" & come back different. One that notices their teacher acting strangely.

No idea what I'll do with this, though.

[frumfrumfroo]

Thankfully the story around this movie is shaping up to specifically be about JJ’s terrible storytelling and the way this movie betrayed The Last Jedi, so I feel like the long term conversation around it is going to be more like “Hey remember when Lucasfilm fucked up a completely good trilogy in the last movie?” instead of the ROTJ discussion where people just accept the retcons as canon now. Because frankly the Luke/Leia sibling reveal was as foreshadowed as and made more sense than Reypatine

Yeah, that’s what I think too. It’s still going to be accepted by a lot of people, unfortunately.

The sibling reveal ass-pull is the worst thing about the OT, it instantly shrank the universe and will always feel disjointed (I don’t remember seeing any part of the OT for the first time, it’s been on a loop since i was born- I still don’t naturally think of Luke and Leia as twins even though I’ve always known they supposedly are), but it doesn’t break the story, it doesn’t destroy anyone’s character arc. It leaves Leia hanging as far as resolution with Anakin, but that wasn’t something she needed until the retcon. They do at least acknowledge that it’s missing and try to address it (’tell your sister you were right’).

Whereas this Reypatine Skyusurper shit defeats the entire ST narrative. And no, it is not about found family.

1. Rey's whole problem she needed to grow out of was her delusion about her long lost family who totally loved her and living in a shitty desert by herself with their imagined ghosts instead of getting off her ass and having a life of her own, she needed to stop looking for parents in every authority figure she met, she needed to accept her past and move on and forge her own identity. That was her entire character arc and the whole thematic basis of TLJ was confronting her with it. With this ‘um actually’, the story now says she was right to sit around in a graveyard waiting for her parental daydream to come true and to have a ready-made identity handed to her on a silver platter with no character development or hard work necessary on her part whatsoever. She's back in the fucking desert on a dead planet with a delusion family of ghosts, but now the ghosts are literal. Her love is entirely barren.

2. Rey is a grown ass adult who ‘adopted’ herself into a dead family. They didn't adopt her. This is infantilising and creepy. She doesn't need a mummy and daddy, she needed to grow up and be her own person and start her own family. Now she never will, she's completely subsumed any stirrings of her own identity she started to have. Ben was the only person who pushed her towards adulthood and actualisation, without him she settles back into her bad coping mechanisms surrounded by enablers who don't know or understand her well enough to help. This is a horror film on at least three levels- Rey as the cuckoo changeling who steals the place of the true child, the Skywalkers as a cursed family of sociopaths who are haunting this bystander now that they’ve wiped themselves out, and Rey as mental patient who retreats completely from the real world into her fantasy.

3. Good Victim/Bad Victim replacement child bullshit. All of the Skywalkers and Han are such gaping fucking assholes they reject Ben but love Rey for the SAME reasons. Because she's just inherently better than him and there's nothing he can do to be worthy. There's no moment in his life he could have done something differently to be accepted, he's just a garbage child no one wants. He was doomed from conception. He dared to be traumatised by being preyed on, abandoned, and betrayed, so he doesn’t deserve to live.

4. Terrio said in an interview that the 'original sin' of SW was separating the twins. So adoption is bad, actually. Never mind that Luke and Leia were separated for their protection and both went to loving homes where they were raised well by good parents. They didn't get to grow up together on Tatooine so that's terrible?? And he says they were never reunited there so we all wanted that. a) No we didn't, Chris, everyone hated Tatooine and no one wanted to live there, Luke says 'if there's a bright centre to the universe you're on the planet that it's furthest from', Anakin was a slave there, his mother was murdered there, it's a DEAD PLANET where BAD THINGS HAPPEN and every character wanted to escape from it b) Have you seen RotJ? Because Luke and Leia were together on Tatooine in the movie, my dude. Leia got to be a slave there for a while too. How fun for her to get in on the family tradition.

5. You made it 100% about bloodlines, Chris. This disingenuous bullshit that it's about rejecting that is the most hollow fucking nonsense I've ever heard.

Rey’s power came from her bloodline, her ‘darkness’ is biologically inherited and isn’t her fault and disappears with no effort from her, you turned the Skywalker name into a fucking superhero mantle and had all the legacy characters anoint her as their heir because she was just born worthy. You made her ‘heir of all the Jedi’ and they’re her ‘chosen ancestors’. Hey, dumbass, the Jedi don’t have heirs. Anyone can have the Force, anyone can be a hero without the Force- you have destroyed that by making Force sensitivity the sign of the elect. F/nn shouldn’t be Force sensitive and making all the defected stormtroopers Force sensitive robs the characters of agency. You have rewritten a story about the deathless hope offered by the eternal possibility of choosing differently into a story about predestination.

This was never about ‘the Palpatines’ vs the Skywalkers. The Emperor was just one evil guy whose backstory and bloodline were irrelevant, he stands in for all selfishness and callous ambition, for the temptation to choose power and control over love. It’s a personal story about individuals and individual struggles- how to be an ethical adult. Lineage didn’t fucking matter, it was so important that Vader was Luke’s father because of the personal relationship it gave them, because of how it challenged Luke and his worldview. The connection it gave them which would radically redefine the stakes and ultimately give the OT its meaning. Rey has no connection to Palpatine and being related to him does nothing but implode any meaning her character ever had.

[writteninkat]

vii - stargazing idiots

word count - 2,854

warnings - reader goes through what is caused by past trauma, mentions of death, mentions of murder

"Angels like you can't fly down hell with me. I'm everything they said I would be."

index

Right after All Might showed up, your body gave up on you and Tsuyu and Izuku had to help keep you up. Your eyelids felt heavier than ever and your head felt like it was going to burst. Your breathing is ragged and the last thing you see is Aizawa's bloodied body before darkness swallows you hole.

It's cold. So very cold.

You open your eyes only to be greeted by a never ending darkness. You feel like you're floating in water.

"Y/n." You hear his all too familiar voice. It's deep, if you could feel it it would feel like rubbing against sandpaper, it's also very cold and a sound that's void of any emotion.

"You did this to me." All of a sudden, Aizawa is standing in front of you, face bloodied and brusied, arms broken and turned to numerous directions. "Why are you so weak?!" He yells as tears begin streaming down your face.

You curl your body, placing your hand on your ears to try and block out your teacher's voice, but it's as if they're everywhere. They're around and inside you.

"I died because of you!" Aizawa yells, gis voice echoing inside your head. "The nomu didn't kill me, you did! You are a murderer! It's because you're so weak that I died!"

You scream, your body feeling immense pressure as hot tears stream down your face. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You yell.

"You killed me. You can never be a hero. You are a murderer, you hear me! I murderer!" You open your eyes, your body shaking as you watch his hand about to grab you.

"I'm not a murderer!" You yell, your eyes opening to the sight of a white ceiling. "Y/n! Calm down! It's just a nightmare!" You hear his gruff voice beside you, it always managed to calm you down. As you turn your head to face him, Katsuki can't help but feel his heart break at the sight of your cheeks wet with tears and eyes red and puffy.

"Suki..." You sob, your body immediately being pulled into a warm hug as Katsuki whispers shushes into your ear. His hand strokes your hair as his arms tigten around you. "It's okay, just let it all out. Cry to me. I'm right here."

Your loud sobs and yelling fill the rooms, even alerting some of the nurses but Katsuki motions for them to leave you two alone.

Your heart feels like it's being crushed and it feel difficult to breathe. Despite this, you don't want Katsuki to let you go. You don't want his familiar warmth to leave your side, not now when you're feeling especially vulnerable.

When your sobs quiet down, Katsuki slowly pulls away, looking into your eyes. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here." He shushes, wiping away your tears as his eyes analyze yours.

"You're okay. What made you cry out like that?" He asks, thumb caressing your cheek softly. You place a hand on his wrist, melting into his touch as you closed your eyes, letting your tears fall.

"Aizawa sensei... He... I killed-"

"We heard Y/n was yelling. What's wrong?!" Midnight barges in, making you immediately turn to her. Behind her she has Present Mic and someone else who's wrapped up in bandages.

Your eyes widen, "Aizawa... sensei..." You mutter, the bandaged-up person tilting his head to the side. "Yes? Are you okay, Y/n?"

Tears fill your eyes again, but this time, there's no longer weight on your shoulders or heart and it feels much easier to breathe. You start sobbing once again, Katsuki looking lost and confused as to what he's supposed to do.

"You're not dead!" You sob, "I thought I killed you- hic- because I was too weak!" You cry out, using your knuckles to wipe away your tears only for them to be replaced by new ones.

"I thought I became a murderer-hic-because I was too weak to protect you, and you died because of me!" You don't even notice Aizawa walking up to you. Despite his bandaged state and the casts he has on both arms, he pulls you into a slightly awkward hug. You wrap your arms around his torso, careful not to hurt him with it.

"Why are you carrying such a burden? Why do you have such thoughts, little girl?" Aizawa asks, his tone hurt. "I have these injuries because I chose to protect you, my students. If I ever get hurt, never, and I mean never blame yourself for it."

You bury your face onto his chest, tears rolling at his words. "Heroes go through stuff like these every time. We sacrifice ourselves to protect the weak and also to keep the peace. In your journey to becoming a hero, you will encounter many situations like these, some are even more worse. But just remember my words-" he pushes you softly, looking down at your swollen eyes. "-have courage, have faith on yourself and the people around you. Trust in them to prevail through just like how you will. Remember that we are all strong because we are heroes but that doesn't mean we have to carry all the burden by ourselves. Be good to yourself and let go if you need to. You're only sixteen, it's okay to act like a child sometimes."

You never thought you'd hear those words from your homeroom teacher who always seemed so indifferent, but at the end of the day, he truly does care about his students from the bottom of his heart.

"Good evening, visiting hours ended five minutes ago. Only miss L/n's guardian if allowed to stay with her." A nurse knocks on your open door, catching everyone's attention.

"I'll be her guardian-" Katsuki cuts off Midnight's words, "Not so fast. I'm her guardian."

"None of you are my guardians." You sigh, "It's been a tiring day and I just want you all to rest. Especially you guys, Aizawa sensei and Katsuki." You move to lay on your bed, but Katsuki raises you a questioning brow.

"What do you mean long day? You've been out for two days." Your eyes widen at his words. You turn to look at the teachers and they all giving knowing nods. "Wait- so does that mean-" You point at Katsuki who rolls his eyes, "Yes, dumbass. I've been watching over you this whole time." At the realization of his words, Katsuki turns away to hide his blush and yet again, fails to notice the red tips of his ears.

"Anyway, the doctors say that you'll be discharged tomorrow morning so you can-" You cut of Aizawa, "Finally go back to school!" You sigh, stretching your arms out and then letting out a sigh.

"I was going to say stay home and rest but if that's what you want then I won't stop you. Bakugou." Katsuki turns around, his face and ears no longer flushed and is back to it's natural scowling state. "I'm not sure how or why your parents allowed you to stay here at the hospital but I'm glad at least someone is taking care of her. There are many qualified pros scouting this area especially at night so you two can rest easy."

With one last nod, the teachers all walk away, bidding the two of you good night. The door closes and you reach over to take your phone from the bedside table, unlocking it. Your eyes widen at the sight of forty-seven missed calls from your mom and just as many number of unread text messages.

"Your mom was called by the school about your situation and assured her that you were alright, but I guess that didn't stop her from blowing up your phone." Katsuki says, eyes on the apple he's peeling.

"Sorry about that, I bet you didn't get enough sleep with all the calling." Your eyebrows knit together in cringe as you force out a smile to which Katsuki shakes his head at. "Your mom is probably the one who didn't get any sleep at all. You should call her and ensure to her that you're alright." He points the knife at your phone before returning back to peeling the apple.

You call your mother in facetime and it rings twice before she answers. "Y/n oh my god! Are you alright, baby?! No, don't answer that. I'm on my way there right now-"

"Mom, what do you mean on your way- here in Japan?" Your eyes scan her background, heart falling to your stkmach as you recognize the airport.

"Hold on! Stop, stop! Mom! You have work back there in the states, you can't come to Japan."

"But you're hurt-"

"Mom," You sigh, "Look, I'm sorry for worrying you. But I swear, I'm fine. Just a few bruises and scrapes but what's a hero without scars, am I right?"

Your mom looks like she stopped walking as she sends you a wordied expression to which you smile reassuringly at her. "I'm fine, mom. Don't worry about me. I'll be able to take care of myself."

"But who's taking care of you in the hospital? I'm going there right now and-"

"Mom, even if you did come here now, I'll be discharged by the time you get here. Plus-" you look at Katsuki who's busy slicing the apples into little slices, designing them to look like bunnies. "-Someone's already taking care of me here. I'll be fine."

Your mother sighs, defeated as you watch her turn around. "Just- stay safe okay? I don't have anyone else."

"I know, mom. I love you so much."

"I love you more, my baby girl."

The two of you pucker your lips for a kiss before ending the call. You lean your back onto your now inclined bed, looking down at the bunny slice Katsuki is offering you. He still has that glare in his eyes, but if you look into them even more, they're much more softer. You take the slice from his fingers, letting out a soft thank you before taking a bite.

"When you blamed yourself a while ago." He starts, making you flinch at the topic. "Don't do that again."

"Suki-"

He slams the knife onto the table, "Please. It's not your fault. Even the strongest people have weaknesses. Don't put all the weight on yourself, please."

Your eyes widen at how vulnerable his voice sounds right now. You reach over, placing a hand on his soft hair. You smile softly, "Alright. I'm sorry I did that. I promise to rely on you more."

Katsuki looks up at you, eyes glassy and face flushing. "I never said you needed to rely on m-"

"I wanna look at the stars." You cut him off quickly, hopping off your bed to saunter towards the window. You push the glass window open, leaning in and taking a deep breath of the cold night air, smiling. You look up at the stars, wishing you had access to the rooftop since the view would be better up there.

"You know, we are at the twenty fifth floor of the hospital." Katsuki says, folding the fluffy blanket that you didn't even realize you were using. You don't think it's yours given that you've never seen it before. Was it Katsuki's?

"What are you saying?" You ask, letting him put on a sweater on you. Again, this piece of warm clothing wasn't yours as well. But by the sweet caramel scent it gave off, you come to a conclusion that this belonged to the angry blond gremlin who is currently standing on the window why the hell is he standing on the window?!

"Bakugou! Are you crazy?! Get off the window now!" You yell, pulling at his pants. "Oh stop being a square." He pushes the warm blanket on you, pulling you with him off the window and out of the hospital room. Before you let out a scream, he uses his quirk to push you two upwards, his hand gripping your sides tightly as your feet land on the cemented rooftop of the hospital.

At the notice of you no longer in the doorstep of death, you resort to hitting Katsuki's arm, letting your mouth run as you lecture him about how dangerous that act was. He responds to your reprimanding with a loud, milky, genuine laugh. Your hand comes to a hault as well as your mouth and you just stand there, awestruck at how handsome Katsuki actually looks when he's smiling.

You place a closed hand on your chest, feeling as your heart thumps against it vigorously. Ah, there it was again. The butterflies in your stomach that made your body feel lighter than it usually felt and your drying throat as well as your sweating palms.

"Come on, I find stargazing relaxing." He says, the usual angry tone of his voice gone, catching you off guard. He wraps his hand around your wrist softly, pulling you towards the center of the rooftop. He places the soft blanket on the ground, folding it once so it isn't too thin before laying down, patting the empty space for you. You mirror his actions, laying down beside him as you gazed up at the stars.

"You ever wonder what the alternative universe us are like?" You ask, eyes staring up at the twinkling stars as Katsuki raises a brow, turning his head towards you. "You believe in that bullshit?" He chuckles, making you gasp. "Don't call it bullshit! What else are the stars for??"

Katsuki presses his lips together to stop his laughter, "I don't know~ What are they for?" He asks you, tone sarcastic and pushing you off the edge. "To tell us about the future, and to show us how many other worlds are there other than ours!"

Katsuki can no longer hold in his laughter, clutching his stomach as he laughs his heart out. You narrow your eyes at him, pouting and crossing your arms against your chest. "Let me guess, let me guess." Katsuki wipes a tear away, "You also believe in the red string of fate?"

"How could you not believe it when-" You stop yourself from continuing your words. How could you not believe it when it caused the two of us to meet?

"When what? Come on, tell me! I promise not to laugh." You turn away, sitting up. Katsuki is still laughing as he follows you, taking your hand in his. "What else do I not know about you?" He asks, curling his four fingers with yours as he stands his thumb up, preparing for a thumb wrestle. You follow his actions and the two of you start the game. "I can't swim." You start.

"I had a pet goldfish but it died after a week." Katsuki chuckles.

"I only ever had two friends growing up- they were my mother's bodyguards. Eliot and Andrew."

"I like to cook."

"I still have my stuffed toys from when I was young."

"I tried to learn how to drive but after almost running over a cat, I swore never to drive again."

"I was pretty popular in middle school."

You chuckle, "I was bullied in middle school."

Katsuki stops moving his thumb, allowing you to pin his down. Your face brightens up as you smile, "I win!" You look up at him, smile almost immediately falling at the sight of his grin expression.

His head drops, covering up his eyes. "Hey, what happened? Did I say something wrong? Come on Suki, talk to me."

"I'm- Do you hate bullies?" He asks, his head still hanging.

"Well, hate is a strong word..." You look up at the stars, as if they were going to give you the right word you were looking for. "But I dislike them. What's the point of putting down someone especially when they've done nothing wrong to you? I don't use the word hate because I don't want to use it incorrectly, but to me bullies are sometimes just misunderstood or something. They have that superiority complex and I like to think that they have it because of their past that we don't know about or the thoughts they have in their heads."

You feel him padding his thumb over your hand. "Hey, you okay?" You ask, cupping his jaw to make him look uo at you. The look in his eyes, takes you aback- he looks so sad and regretful which only stirrs up more questions in your head.

"You're so good. You're such a good person, Y/n." His words cause you to furrow your brows in confusion. What was going on inside his head?

He drops his head to your shoulder, "You're an angel, Y/n. People are so lucky to have you in their lives."

You don't even think twice before the words leave uour mouth. "Even you?"

It takes him a few moments to respond and you begin to think that you made a mistake asking him that, but you feel him nod on your shoulder. "Especially me."

[taylortruther]

My biggest concerns regarding Taylor are Scottish Folds and 50 Shades.

Scottish Folds look like that because their cartilage is so weak their ears fold over. Guess what cushions your bones? Guess what happens when your bone cartilage is so fragile that it can't hold up under its own weight?

I've tried to @ Taylor before, back when she was pretty active here, and either she didn't see it (likely) or she didn't want to hear it.

I'm glad she got a different cat this time because I'm really concerned. Thanks Brendon. Of course it's nice to have a cat that's not disabled from birth for once. Of course that cat likes cuddles more and isn't as grouchy.

...also she needs to learn more about cat behavior. Your cats don't hate you, you don't respect their space so they think they have to flee or act antagonistic to get it.

I don't find jokes about cat behavior funny anymore in that regard.

The 50 Shades callouts were not subtle or confined to one platform. Like I know it's kink, but people were pretty clear that it violates the rules of consensual stuff. And no, I don't think people are bad for consuming stuff like that, but she advertised that her song was in the movie to her fan base.

I don't find it cute for a baby to enjoy a song about drinking and having sex. I understand why my parents had restrictions now. They're not ready for that, you'll spark feelings too early. It's not the worst thing ever they're usually going to have the rest of their entire lives to enjoy this stuff. It's fine. They can wait.

It's not bad that Taylor's coming into her own and embracing her sexuality, but she's openly expressed delight when small children sing and dance along to her songs about alcohol and stuff. I know a lot of people think it's not that deep, but everything you hear has an affect on your psyche in some way.

If I were in her position I would be like, "My stuff isn't for kids! I'll be happy to welcome you when you're older!" But no apparently it's fine for kids to be small adults now I fuckin guess /s

I'm wordy because I'm thinking of every counterargument to my concerns that I've ever heard of 😝

Anyway part of the reason that's relevant is that I KNOW she led impressionable young women directly to a movie that unapologetically portrays an abusive, controlling relationship with dubious consent, and told them they should watch it.

So that's why if I were only able to discuss two things with her then it would be Scottish Folds and 50 Shades.

i think taylor is definitely of the mind that her music is consumed by different people in different ways and she shouldn't tell anyone HOW to interact with it. generally speaking, her song for 50 shades wasn't about BDSM or unsafe sex practices, so the song itself doesn't bother me... it did bother me that it was a blatant money grab though. but, idk, i'm conflicted about taylor's responsibility for how people consume her art. i totally agree that 50 shades was a shitty series, so i'm disappointed she's part of it, but i don't think a celebrity can, in any way, replace proper guidance in someone's personal life, you know?

as for the cats... yeah. i'm against designer breeds in general so i hear you on that.

this is a good thought though. if i could discuss 2 things with taylor, no holds barred, i'd probably ask her what she thinks about kaylor. i'm curious! and i'd want to know why she really quit tumblr.

like, there are more serious questions i'd want to ask but i don't think she'd be truthful, so... lol

[wp-yahoo-style-1042-yahoopa-blog]

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We love our furry friends, but sometimes, pet hair can take over the home. (Photo: Getty Images)

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It’s a time-saver — and ‘miraculous’

Forget spending hours using a vacuum, lint roller or adhesives only to be disappointed with the results. Users say the Chom Chom roller not only gets the job done — it’s also a time-saving miracle.

“I was using a vacuum and sticky tape and having a hard time doing a couch and love seat and it took over 30 minutes,” wrote a reviewer. “And it was aggravating. I didn’t look forward to the job. And we have 5 cats! I bought this thinking I’d regret it. Nope. Now I do the job easily in less than 10 minutes … I think I’ll get another in case they stop making it because I’ve never seen a product like this that actually does what it claims it does. No wonder there are so many positive reviews. They aren’t phony either. I found that out myself. If you struggle cleaning because of pets, just get one. You’ll be glad you did.”

Another happily surprised buyer explained: “I bought this miraculous contraption and my world has changed … It takes 2 minutes to quickly roll the sofa after the dog takes a nap there, instead of 45 minutes to vacuum. This is the best thing that Amazon has brought to my door all year! Absolutely recommend this to anyone with a pet. If you hate having pet hair on every surface, this will change your life. Seriously.”

It works better than vacuums

It’s a well-known fact that Fido isn’t a fan of the noisy vacuum — neither are humans. With the Chom Chom roller, you’ll get a quick and effective clean-up that rivals the bulky machine.

“This thing is amazing! It even got hair off of the carpet that our vacuum cleaner couldn’t get,” wrote one fan.

Added another: “Vacuuming worked alright, but it was not efficient and very loud. This product is so much more effective than the vacuum, with the added bonus of being virtually silent.”

One pet parent said it’s so good it can be used on carpets, too: “This product has saved my couch and my sanity … You don’t even have to vacuum up after you use it because the hair is all in there! It’s amazing. I’ve even used it on the carpet! The proof that it works is in the compartment, which is FULL after I do my whole couch.”

A closer look at the Chom Chom roller’s features. (Photo: Amazon)

It makes upholstered furniture ‘fresh’ again

Pet hair can have a dulling effect on fabrics and furniture, and this roller can make those feel new again, according to happy customers.

“I have a long hair German Shepherd aka ‘German Shedder’ and 2 cats so I live with animal fur … The Chom Chom is by far the best way to get rid of animal fur in my opinion,” wrote one buyer. “This thing is god-like, it makes fabric look so fresh, works perfectly on my suede couches and leaves that ‘soft suede’ look on them.”

Another wrote: “Works excellent on items like furniture and upholstery/car interior. Items like clothing or curtains need to be held down because of the rolling and back and forth motion of the Chom Chom. I think it would make an AMAZING gift to anyone with pets.”

“Holy grail for pet owners!!” wrote another enthusiastic fan. “I was amazed at just how much my new Chom Chom Roller was able to pick up from my upholstered furniture. It is able to pull those fine little hairs out from the fibers where they’ve managed to weave and take up residence … I didn’t even realize how dull the colors of the fabric had gotten due to all of the tiny hairs that had become a ‘part’ of the fabric, until after using this handy little device. The colors look vibrant and renewed! Love it!”

Bottom line: It’s the best $25 you’ll spend

“I was hesitant to purchase this product due to the price tag. $25 seemed like a bit much for a plastic tool,” admitted one user. “However, after the first use, I believe it was worth the money. This product has been a lifesaver. We have two dogs and a cat, who all shed like crazy. So, my couch is always covered in hair. It’s super easy to use and makes cleaning the couch a breeze. I would definitely recommend this product to anyone with indoor pets.”

Raved another: “It is the best $25 I’ve spent. Seriously, you cannot even tell we have pets in the house … And what I love about it — other than the fact it works better than an expensive pet hair vacuum — is that there is nothing to replace. Ever. So no more sticky rollers, rubber gloves, and multiple passes over the furniture with specially designed vacuum attachments!”

Shop the Chom Chom roller ($25) at Amazon.com.

The editors at Yahoo Lifestyle are committed to finding you the best products at the best prices. At times, we may receive a share from purchases made via links on this page.

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