#your honor they are so painfully deeply agonizingly in love

[aviel-the-trans-bucket]

Yknow I’ve thought a lot about how Alex and fenn figured out they were in love.

I like to think for Alex it was no big epiphany, it was gradual.

Butterflies when they first met, a sort of camaraderie after unhallowed grave from which fenn had to walk him home, he was very concussed. To that awkward wagon ride and tomb escape.

Small moments like them finally getting comfortable around each-other to stop being total awkward messes. A brush of the hand while they were in the library together, his laugh. At some point I think Alex was just consumed by the feeling of how happy he was to be around him, it kinda snuck up on him just how deeply he loved and cared for him.

I think what he said after markarth was just that final nail. Alex dissociated pretty hardcore after everything that happened, that conversation with fenn was one of the only things keeping him anchored for a while. He is completely and utterly agonizingly in love with fenn.

There’s a reason Alex described love as feeling like something trying to claw its way out of your chest, it’s suffocating and all consuming. He feels it marrow deep, and it terrifies him how deeply he feels at times.

For fenn I think while gradual and mostly attributed to their blossoming friendship I have one moment that sticks out for me.

Fenn is with him and gwendis when investigating both castle thorn and stonegarden. It’s late, Alex is exhausted from fighting lady thorn.

All 3 of them are in a cart bound for solitude. Alex without meaning to falls asleep agains fenn’s shoulder. It’s not much but it’s such a tender moment in this sea of chaos.

I think that’s fenn’s “oh” moment.