#your fate was written long before he came to visit you the first time

[zhoudadudugongjin]

[cultofdixon]

Haunted by what is forever told on our skin

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • When the group found the prison, no one expected the past to come and haunt us all even if they don’t understand until life is re-written • ANGST/SFW • TW: PTSD / Past Abuse / Domestic Violence / Scars / Injuries / Past Attempt Mentioned / SH Scars

Requested by: Anon

“We found a place that we can make into our new home” Rick started. “We obviously need to fix a few things for the immediate future. But it’s got good walls”

“What is it?”

“It’s a prison, which I know sounds unsettling at first but once we take care of the walkers…it’s pretty golden” Rick finished and went to check on his family while the others started to pack up the vehicles knowing they will be leaving once he’s ready.

Daryl noticed Y/N stand still for a really long time for unknown reasons that started to concern him. But when she noticed him looking at her, she quickly picked up her pack and went to join Glenn and Maggie.

Odd…

They weren’t going to tackle the main prison just yet given the time of day. All they did was take out the walkers in the yard and get their cars within the gates before making camp for the night.

Y/N watched Carol go over to Daryl to give him what accounts for dinner with what they’ve got before turning her attention back toward the prison. This time catching the attention of someone more curious and willing to speak up.

“Have you been here before?” Beth questions Y/N, snapping her out of her thoughts as she gave her a concerned look.

“Like what, a prisoner?”

“No, just. Well yes and no”

“Not as a prisoner…more like. Visiting…loved ones…” Y/N frowns squeezing her hands together to avoid an anxious harmful habit that she knew she wouldn’t be able to do in front of them anyway.

“You think we killed them?” Glenn suddenly blurts as Maggie smacks him in the arm. “What? You’re telling me people survived the outbreak in that prison?”

“Don’t mean you have to ask somethin’ like that when you don’t know the rel—-“

“I haven’t…seen him in years. He could’ve been released or…executed for all I know. Only have seen him twice and the second time wasn’t…pretty” Y/N got up from the group, going to take a walk and clear her head on the matter. All while Maggie lectured Glenn about pushing boundaries.

When Daryl came back to the group with Carol, he noticed her absence immediately but as he scanned the surrounding area for her…he watches Rick make his way over to her given he hasn’t stopped walking the perimeter since they’ve gotten inside.

Y/N stared at a walker gnawing at the fence from the other end trying to reach for her. She stepped closer to the fence rolling her sleeve up and testing fate when the voice in her head told her to stop, as well as the voice behind her.

“What’s wrong” Rick asked with a concern look on his face when she turned toward him. With the light from his flashlight he noticed the scars that littered her arms making her instantly cover them. He knows as a cop not to trigger the situation further, even if most cops tend to do that anyway. But he’s not like most. “You want to scout with me? Don’t have to be in the mess of people for a moment”

“Mess of people?” Y/N laughs slightly. “You know you’re including your wife and son in that mix”

“I do…” Rick frowns, now walking with Y/N around the place. “Honestly we’ve all done something stupid and yet I’m paying for it the most given the silence I’m receiving from Lori”

“…You know, don’t you?”

Rick didn’t utter another word but gave her a look that confirmed it all.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner”

“Well, I still don’t know you. Not a stranger. But still not enough to share something like that” Rick shrugs. “I’m not mad at you”

“Right…still. I feel bad. No one should have to deal with that. End of the world or before”

Something about what she said only drew the concern to a higher level. Rick gestured with his head to return to the rest of the group and as he went to sit with his family, Y/N went to sit alone outside of the group facing away from them. The only time she was addressed was when T-Dog dragged a blanket over her shoulders, the flinch that came from her caught Daryl’s attention even more.

When the morning came, which meant time to progress inside the prison grounds…they were careful taking out the walkers in the courtyard before taking the risk of entering the building. Rick, Daryl, T-Dog, Maggie, and Y/N took care of being the first to sweep the cellblock they entered. Taking out the few walkers they came across, including seeing a few prisoners that have met their fate to the undead or found a quick way out of the mess before they met that end.

Y/N lingered too close to a locked cell on the second story not seeing anything immediately until the walker forced itself against the bars causing her to stumble back.

Rick quickly came over taking the walker out as Daryl brought himself to her checking her person.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Uh…yeah” Y/N frowns stepping past him returning to the first floor to help Maggie in any way.

The group started to make home of the cell block for now and will progress further into the place in a bit. Just for now they were taking a break. While others claimed cells as their new “rooms”, Daryl took the catwalk not liking the idea of living in a cell and he wasn’t the only one to think such.

“Need help?” Glenn asks Y/N if she needed a hand pulling the mattress out of the cell and into the main walk way on the first floor.

“Oh uh. Yeah sure” She frowns letting Glenn help her move the mattress and before he left, he quickly grabbed one of their many blankets handing it to her. “Thanks…”

“Of course” Glenn smiles leaving to check on Maggie and her family.

Daryl leans against the railing watching Y/N sit on the mattress bringing her knees to her chest and hide her face. Her whole body tensed and hasn’t relaxed since they’ve entered the prison.

The group hasn’t relaxed like this since the farm and they were getting used to the temporary quiet.

The next morning a few took inventory of the gear they’ve found in the prison, then came to the decision of checking the rest of the prison. The men plus Maggie and Y/N. Daryl took lead while the rest followed through the darker parts of the prison.

Maggie getting spooked by Glenn after he marked the direction they came from only stressed the others and Y/N did her best not to scream as a trigger response to hers.

Then it became a game with the walkers coming from every direction, even where they came from. Resulting in being separated from Maggie and Glenn. But when Hershel retraced his steps, he unfortunately gotten bit. A bit of scrambling resulted in T-Dog and Y/N holding the doors to their only entrance and exit while the others held down Hershel so that Rick can cut off the infected part of his leg.

But it wasn’t long for them to realize they weren’t alone.

Y/N felt as if she was struck down with the realization that she recognized one of the prisoners that Daryl and T-Dog were currently holding their stand with.

“We gotta go!” Rick shouted resulting in Y/N pulling away from the door ignoring who she had just saw and helped Glenn with holding the makeshift gurney to get Hershel on.

Everything seem to escalate while a good chuck of their own focused on Hershel then Daryl took liberty with T-Dog to keep the prisoners in check until Rick came to break the news about the reality the prisoners are now living in.

It wasn’t until they stepped outside to see for themselves when Tomas, the one with the gun, turned to the three with one question that led to a million internal ones.

“The woman with yea, where the hell you find her?”

T-Dog gave Daryl a questioning look as to who he’s referring to. Maggie or Y/N. Because they were the only women they saw.

“Who are you talking about?” Rick questions keeping his hand hovered over his gun. Tomas took note of such and decided to drop it.

Meanwhile inside the prison the chaos died slightly, all they could really do is keep an eye on Hershel and check his dressings. Y/N stood by the cell with Glenn to keep an eye on him in case you know what happens, orders by Rick of course. Glenn couldn’t help but get more anxious just from being in Y/N’s vicinity.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers to avoid alerting the rest. “Do you think he’s—-“

“It’s not about Hershel. Don’t…worry about it”

“How can I not when we just learned we’re not alone in here? What do you think the prisoners have done to get in this place?”

Y/N clenched her fists trying to fight back the anxiety induced tears or more so the PTSD she’s trying to avoid reliving but the sheer knowledge alone of him alive was driving her insane. Carol from the corner of her eye couldn’t help but have concerns for her because she understands.

________

“It’s…not the best, Sophia. But at least we’ll be safe until he calms down…” Carol reassures her daughter as they were directed into a room they were gonna have to share given how many people the facility has in that moment.

The woman on the other side of the room hugging her knees to her chest avoiding looking at them when they entered. She had just arrived there for the first time and wasn’t used to how many people. Granted the amount of people only made her feel worse that so many in her shoes need to find this escape instead of leaving the relationship they were in.

“Hello” Carol started, letting Sophia get comfortable on the bed as she hesitantly approaches. “I’m Carol. This is Sophia, my daughter” she frowns watching tears roll off her cheeks. “I guess we’ll be roommates for a while. We won’t make a fuss—-“

“You’ve been here before…the way you’re talking…you’ve been here before”

“Unfortunately” Carol frowns watching the woman finally face her to notice the swollen black eye and her wrist in a cast. “You’re new aren’t you?”

“…Unfortunately” She scoffs. “I should’ve known…sooner…before the cops got involved”

Carol brought herself to sit on the bed with her giving her a look asking for permission to rest a reassuring hand on her knee which she granted.

“We like to believe that they will get better. Some just. Go too far and need the intervention…”

The woman frowns only nodding to her words as she held herself close again feeling her hand slip away.

“Do you have a name?”

“It’s—-“

________

“Y/N” Carol frowns finally having a moment away from the mess, being handed a towel from her because of the blood all over her person. “Y/N are you alright?” She whispers to keep this conversation between themselves but all Y/N could do was show discomfort in her expression and try not to let the tears fall.

“We can’t let them stay here. They aren’t good people. He’s not a good person” Y/N wanted to let go but they were soon interrupted by Rick.

“Y/N I need your assistance with clearing a cellblock for the prisoners”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Carol questioned immediately and for her.

“We’ll kill them if they go too far but for now. We made the deal so we can get half of their supplies. We need to hold a front for a short while longer or until they’ve proven—-“

“Rick” T-Dog calls for him outside their block as he nods indicating they’re on their way.

“I’m sorry. I need Y/N. Glenn is watching Hershel and Maggie is out of commission for now. I need a good fighter and she’s one of them” Rick states, taking Y/N’s arm only for her to shove him off before walking toward T-Dog. The smallest action made Carol smack him in the harm.

“You push her and you won’t hear the end of it” Carol threatened before returning to Hershel’s aid as that left more suspicion with Rick.

When they started to go over the plan with the prisoners, Tomas instantly locked onto Y/N who made herself known finally.

“Baby—You’re alive” Tomas declared about to make his way over to Y/N when Rick stopped him. Daryl instantly looked at her as the tension and anxiety from her all made sense when they arrived. “What? There’s no prison laws anymore. I don’t have to wait for visiting hours to see my girl”

“She’s here to help. Not rekindle anything from the before” Rick stated pushing him back as that only angered the man but before he could even retaliate, Y/N quickly pulled Rick back blocking the way resulting in hesitation from Tomas.

“Just listen to him Tomas” Y/N struggled to keep a steady speech but the way he relaxed and nodded. This was only going to put her in a position that Rick will hate himself for later. Hell, the hate will come from more than him.

As Y/N steps back she felt Daryl’s gently tap her arm indicating for her to stand with him. Which she did. Tomas had her attention all on her while Rick explained how they are going to handle the walkers.

As the group watched the prisoners take out a handful of walkers in their own creative way. Daryl turned to Y/N watching her struggle to get a deep breath in given being in the same room as the man who hurt her was only making her suffocate.

“Hey…take a breath. C’mon” Daryl whispers keeping his attention on her, lifting his hand and lowering it then repeating to show he’s trying to get her to follow the breathing pattern. “There. You’ve got it…I’ve gotcha”

When they were alone in a room for a more controlled way of taking out the walkers, Tomas brought himself close to Y/N but enough for her to hear him given Daryl was hovering.

“Miss me?” He smirks watching her step away. “Aww come on baby. I’ve been good. I was going to get out in good behavior if the world didn’t end”

“Oh yeah, which guard did you bribe into helping—-ow!” Oscar snapped as Tomas smacked him in the arm.

“I have a restraining order. You wouldn’t—-“

“Baby girl. You’re right here. Right now. It’s the end of the world and the laws don’t apply—-“

“Focus” Rick snaps and then one of the prisoners got scratched right when the wave calmed down.

The other prisoners were trying to argue in saving their friend but right as the arguing got to a point, Tomas suddenly took the crowbar he had to killed the prisoner. The action put Y/N in a frozen state of mind as she tried to get herself out of there but she wasn’t moving. Then when Tomas decided to put all his anger toward the prisoner when he really wanted it toward another, Daryl forced Y/N to look away but she wouldn’t move so he blocked her view.

“You see the look on his face?” Daryl asked Rick as they hung in the back covering Y/N from Tomas who was in front of them.

“He makes one move…”

“Just give me a signal” Daryl stated as they all entered the laundry room from the looks of it.

One door.

One door was what Rick told Tomas to open.

…

Everything just has to go to shit huh?

Tomas tossed the walker at Rick directly and while he did and the others took care of the rest. He instantly went for Y/N. He heard the two of them talking and it doesn’t take a genius to understand that one wrong move and he’ll get killed in the process.

“No—No no” Y/N instantly thrashed against his grip only for Tomas to pull her into him wrapping his arm around her front but have his hand on her throat. “Please——“

“I tried to be buddy buddy for this pig bastard. But I know the only reason I’m in here in the first place is because of you” Tomas whispered angrily, tightening his hand around her throat.

“Let go of her” Daryl snapped readying his crossbow but before he fired, Rick stopped him as the gun Tomas had pressed itself against her throat.

“Lower it or I won’t hesitate” Tomas threats putting his finger on the trigger as Y/N couldn’t help the tears in that moment. “I know you’re just going to kill us the second you have a chance because of what we were in the past—“

“Right now you’re just provin’ you haven’t changed” Rick stated keeping his attention on Tomas as well as Daryl but he also took note of how Y/N was doing and by her body language, she wants this to be over. “The fuck do you want in order to let her go unscathed…mostly” he watches his grip on her neck lessen but not enough for her to free herself.

“Let me go. Like that one said before. Let me try to fend for my goddamn self out there with the stuff I’ve got” Tomas pressed the gun into her neck more when he watched the two move. “You have to lower your weapons entirely…or I will kill her on my way out”

I’m not losing her Daryl instantly lowered his crossbow, even set it on the ground and that action led Tomas to glare at Rick to do the same along with T-Dog who had a different vantage point.

Tomas slowly stepped back, dragging Y/N along with him before tossing her to the ground keeping his gun pointed at the few. He waited a moment then turned on his heel making a break for it but before Daryl could grab his crossbow, Rick stopped him as Y/N took out her holstered gun aiming it at Tomas and taking the shot. He dropped instantly and his death led to another prisoner losing it and making a break for it.

As Rick grabbed his gun chasing after the other prisoner, T-Dog kept the other two in check while Daryl quickly brought himself to Y/N’s aid assessing how bad the bruising was on her throat and noticing the return of the frozen state she was in.

“Has she spoken to anyone since it happened?” Lori questioned Rick as the two were at the entrance to the prison watching Y/N sit in the field alone.

“No, but I know for a fact Daryl ain’t gonna leave her out there alone for much longer” Rick referred to the archer who couldn’t keep his gaze away from Y/N when he was helping T-Dog with more walker burn pits.

After some time, Y/N flinch hearing footsteps as she turned around to find Daryl holding his arms up in surrender. She relaxed turning herself back around as he brings himself close taking his poncho off and carefully putting it on her.

“If you’re gonna stick around out here might as well have that” Daryl sat himself down beside her leaning back on his hands.

“You wanna know don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“What he did. How he got there…I can’t explain why he was the way that he was but I can try—-“

“We all have our scars. You don’t have to share yours…we all were just. Scared for yea even when we didn’t know” Daryl frowns watching her get comfortable with the poncho on her as she kept her bruises hidden the best she could.

“He hurt me. The first time was…or I thought it was an accident. Then it kept happening every time I did something wrong or he was mad at something else.” Y/N frowns hugging her knees close to her chest. “He even got mad when I tried to get out of it…”

“Get out of the relationship, right?”

The look she gave him was full of sadness and even when the threat being permanently gone, there was still the anger toward her past self for letting it happen for so long and not ending it sooner.

“Oh…well, uhm. I’m glad you’re still here” in some way, that was him telling her exactly how he felt about her.

Y/N finally let herself break with the tears starting to stream down her cheeks. She held herself while she sobbed, gripping onto the poncho reminding herself that she’s safe now.

“I won’t let anyone hurt yea…ever again” Daryl promises then…

and will promise forever.

[confused-since-birth]

Shape of the unknown pt.1

Hi!! First, I want to say that (disclaimer) I’ve never written before, more so a fanfic. Also english is not my first language, so I may have some mistakes. Second, this is a work that doesn’t really respect everything that is canon (some things yes, others not so much) .

Sylus x reader (not MC), MC is also present though

Warnings: kinda angst, kinda fluff, suggestive, a little bit of stalking ig??

(written on artemas - how could you love someone like me, if you want the whole vibe I had writing this :) )

Tarus was the place for many kinds of people: thieves, traitors, murderers, so on and so forth. That doesn’t mean that everyone was a criminal, most people were just poor, therefore vulnerable.

You knew very well what it meant being vulnerable, used for transactions as if your life or death meant nothing more than a few coins. First years of your life were spent being a slave until one day a woman appeared before you. She was the epitome of beauty and calm. Her eyes scanned through the lines of slaves until they fixed on you. It might have been fate, might have been pure luck, but she took you under her care. This way Tarus became your home.

The woman was the Oracle of Tarus, teaching everything she knew: astrology, science, art and healing arts. However, the one thing that was not taught to you, a natural talent that brought her to become your protector and teacher: the gift of understanding what there was not to see and knowing what was to come.

The Temple of the Oracle was the only place where Tarus people would trust to be safe and taken care for. Sometimes you would see some that had a skin too clean, without the blemishes caused by the burning sun, lack of food and numerous fights. Their poor clothes looked too intentional. Those were aristocrats that hoped to get answers for their dilemmas, own diseases or to try and buy an oracle for themselves. They were usually welcome as the money from them played an important part in helping those who needed it.

Then the time came, yours became the title of Oracle.

Sylus didn’t care in the beginning about the new novice, even though he saw her many times. He had a strong bond with the precedent Oracle. When it was the time he promised to keep protecting the Temple and help the new priestess, if needed. He offered most of the funding, believe it or not.

With time, he got maybe even closer to you than anyone else before. Even though the veil you wore as a custom that marked you as a woman of the Temple, didn’t completely hide your face behind it, it’s soft opacity didn’t allow them to be clear – which sometimes, in the beginning at least, stirred something in him as he couldn’t read your reactions, nor feelings.

Sylus would request quite often for you to spend the evenings at his cave. Time would go flying as you two would chat on different subjects. Your presence was much appreciated by him, giving him an almost sense of peace.

Eventually, the visits didn’t happen so often. Your duty calls, as he did not. No-one needed to tell you why, as dreams came months before to whisper of the future and as objective and cold as you tried to be, your veins felt like they burned of anger?... sadness? broken heart? Maybe all of them? Needless to say, it’s no surprise when one afternoon your presence is requested to his cave. But you know it’s not him, but her.

The dark mauve veils that your dress was made of flowed like liquid around you. A headband made of woven metal kept in place the veil of your head, making you feel heavier than you already felt. Breathing was a hassle. Once you entered the cave, long silver locks welcome your eyes. A pair of blood red eyes welcome yours, but they were not his, your heart’s restless desire. The Sorceress’s lips form a smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. As beautiful as she was, you could swear she could at any time start hissing like a viper.

“You called for me” rolls of your tongue in a calm tone.

“I did. I have a question”, her voice is beautiful too, has something upbeat to it.

It is easily noticed that Sylus is not here. For sure she is in no way a stranger to your closeness to the dragon, which means that you can easily be called a foe. It's quite plausible that she would want to talk to you alone.

“It is said that your words ring only truth - “

“My words are the truth for a moment and a place, as future obeys no rules. Ask me a question and I might give you the best I can in the moment” the words fall from your mouth, trying to control your tone, not knowing if you succeed or not.

“Then tell me what you see in my future” she proceeds, getting close to you. So close that you feel her breath on your face.

You do not really know what game she plays at. As you close your eyes for moments, images start flowing from your dreams, others new appear, morphing into timelines and possibilities and most of them leave you choking on air. Your head starts spinning and a sheer layer of sweat appears on your skin.

“War is in your mind, leaving your hands dirty in blood that you can’t wipe off. Eons may come and go and blood will still be pouring, as it’s spoils your heart and the gem that you so much want will be forsaken in the thick, red liquid”, escapes out of your mouth almost unwillingly.

Her eyes fall to the floor for a second then she doesn’t even care to tell anything more, a sign it was time to return. As the thoughts of her stare, your mind seeks an answer for why must she do this. Why try and find out the future if she knows already what will happen? Why talk to you? Does the Sorceress want to be sure you won’t interfere?

Little did you know, another pair of ruby eyes follow you coming out of the cave. He heard your words. Sylus notices how your steps are hurried, breathing heavy, hands trembling. Something coils around his heart almost painful. The voice in which you delivered your prophecy, was not something he was used to. He thought how he wanted to see your face clear, look deep in your eyes and find out answers for his unasked questions. Sylus’s mind wanders to you in so many ways. At first he wanted to keep you close as it was no lie that the ability you possessed was much more cultivated than anyone’s. The ability to shape the unkown in different timelines, from the least to most possible and see time like a living and breathing creature was nothing short of breathtaking. Just as you.

In the end, in the middle of the night, something pulls him to the Temple. What he didn’t expect was finding you bathing in plants with such alluring smell that his eyes closed for a few moments. However, he opens them as curiosity peaks in his chest. Your eyes shine so beautiful, even more than the jewels in his cave. Your hair is sleek on your head and back from being wet. Your skin looks so soft and delicate. Sylus can’t move. In his head, he knows it’s not right, he should leave, at least wait for you to be done… but hidden behind one of the drapes that decorate your room, the urge to watch is more powerful.

His mind becomes preoccupied by thoughts of touching the skin, hair, looking at your eyes up close.

As you are too caught up in some inner monologue, a dragon awaits a miracle to move away or closer.

[librababe99]

Vigilante's Lullaby |Part Five|

cw: MDNI, 18+ ONLY, Jason Todd, Gn!Reader, themes of trauma, ptsd, implied smut, HEAVY ANGST, NO HAPPY ENDING summary: In the devastating final chapter, Jason and Reader share one last night together before he makes an unthinkable decision. After a brutal attack that left Reader scarred, Jason knows that staying in their life will only cause more harm. word count: 2.0K

a/n: Hi loves! I've finally gotten around to finalizing the last part of Vigilante's Lullaby🙌🏻 I'd like to thank everyone for their support on this series and following along--I really wanted to create something that was different compared to other things I've written, especially with something as angsty as this. As always, feel free to comment, like or reblog! - Libra * .♡ *:･ﾟ✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

(Synopsis) | (Part One) | (Part Two) | (Part Three) | (Part Four)

(Main Masterlist)

The recovery had been slow, painfully slow, and the scars—both seen and unseen—ran deeper than anyone could have imagined. The physical wounds healed with time, but the mental and emotional aftermath lingered like a shadow, haunting every corner of the underground clinic. The attack had fractured something inside, something you couldn’t quite name. There were nights when the memory of blood and pain would surface, clawing its way back into your mind like a cruel specter. The panic would come, unbidden, suffocating, and there were times when you still flinched at the sound of a door opening too quickly or footsteps approaching from behind.

Jason had been there, at first. After that brutal night when he found you lying in your own blood, broken and fragile, he had stayed by your side. His presence was both a comfort and a weight. You didn’t blame him for what had happened. You never had. Despite everything, despite the danger that clung to him like a second skin, you loved him—irrevocably, without question. But Jason couldn’t see it that way. He couldn’t absolve himself of the guilt, couldn’t shake the belief that everything terrible in your life stemmed from his existence.

Months had passed since that fateful attack, and though your body had healed, the nights were still long and sleepless, filled with the kind of restless tension that never fully dissipated. The clinic had returned to a semblance of normalcy, the wounded trickling in and out, seeking the quiet solace of your care. But the weight of what had happened lingered, a silent testament that came with loving Jason Todd.

Jason hadn’t spoken much since the attack, not about his feelings, not about the guilt that was eating him alive. But you could see it in the way he looked at you, in the distance that had begun to stretch between you. He had become more reserved, his visits more infrequent, each time tinged with an unspoken finality. You knew him well enough to see the signs, to understand that something was shifting. He was pulling away, retreating into the darkness that had always been his companion. And though you didn’t want to believe it, deep down, you knew what was coming.

That night, when Jason arrived, there was a heaviness in the air that neither of you could ignore. His steps were quieter than usual as he slipped through the window, the familiar routine now laced with an unbearable tension. He stood there for a moment, his tall, broad frame silhouetted against the faint glow of the city outside. His face was cast in shadows, but you could see the tightness in his jaw, the way his hands flexed restlessly at his sides.

"Hey," you whispered softly, your voice barely above a breath, as if anything louder would shatter the fragile peace of the moment.

He didn’t respond at first, just moved toward you in that slow, deliberate way that always reminded you of a storm gathering on the horizon. When he sat beside you on the bed, the mattress dipped under his weight, and for a moment, you just sat there, side by side, in a silence that spoke louder than words.

You reached for his hand, your fingers brushing against the rough leather of his glove. He flinched slightly, the motion so subtle that you might not have noticed if you weren’t so attuned to him. But then he relented, his hand relaxing in yours, though you could still feel the tension coiled beneath his skin.

“Rough night?” you asked, the words a quiet echo of a conversation you’d had so many times before.

Jason exhaled sharply, a sound that was more a sigh than anything else. “Yeah,” he muttered, though there was no bitterness in his tone this time. Just exhaustion, and something deeper—something heavier.

You turned toward him, your fingers still curled around his gloved hand. “Talk to me,” you whispered, searching his face for the answers he wasn’t giving. But Jason just shook his head, his gaze dropping to the floor.

“I’m leaving,” he said, the words slipping from his lips with a finality that knocked the breath from your lungs.

For a moment, you didn’t understand. Your mind refused to process the meaning behind his words, refused to accept what they implied. But then, the weight of them sank in, heavy and cold, and your heart twisted painfully in your chest.

“No,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Jason, no.”

He finally looked at you, and the sight of his eyes—those stormy blue eyes that had always held so much—nearly broke you. There was pain there, yes, but there was something else, too. A kind of quiet resignation, as if he had made up his mind long before he’d ever stepped foot into your apartment that night.

“This isn’t your fault,” you said, your voice growing more desperate with every word. “What happened—what they did to me—it wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you… I never did.”

His jaw tightened, and he pulled his hand away from yours, rising to his feet in one smooth, fluid motion. He paced to the window, his back to you, his fists clenched at his sides. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice rough with barely-contained emotion. “I should’ve known. I should’ve known they’d come after you. And I can’t—” He paused, his shoulders shaking with the effort of holding himself together. “I can’t let that happen again.”

You stood, crossing the room to him, your hand reaching out to touch his arm. “Jason,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Please.”

He turned to face you then, and the look in his eyes was one of pure, unfiltered agony. “You deserve better than this. Better than me,” he said, his voice a low, harsh whisper. “Every time I’m near you, I’m putting you in danger. And I can’t—I won’t do that anymore.”

You shook your head, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “I don’t care about the danger,” you said, your voice trembling. “I care about you. I love you.”

The words hung in the air between you, heavy with the weight of truth. Jason’s expression softened for a moment, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his face. But then, just as quickly, it was gone, replaced by that same steely resolve that had been building inside him for months.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “But that’s why I have to go.”

The silence that followed was deafening, punctuated only by the sound of your own ragged breaths. Jason reached for you then, his hands trembling slightly as they cupped your face. His thumbs brushed away the tears that had begun to fall, and for a moment, you leaned into his touch, savoring the warmth of his hands against your skin.

But then he kissed you, and it was like everything else faded away—the pain, the fear, the darkness that had always loomed over the two of you. The kiss was slow, tender, filled with all the love and longing that neither of you had ever been able to fully express. His lips moved against yours with a kind of desperate urgency, as if he was trying to memorize the feel of you, trying to hold on to this moment for as long as he could.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, refusing to let him go. But deep down, you knew this was the beginning of the end. You could feel it in the way his hands tightened around your waist, in the way his breath hitched when he pulled back to look at you.

“I’m sorry,” Jason whispered, his forehead resting against yours. “I’m so sorry.”

Before you could respond, he kissed you again, and this time there was no hesitation, no restraint. His hands moved to your hips, pulling you flush against him as the kiss deepened, growing more intense with each passing second. There was a kind of desperation in the way he kissed you, like he was trying to pour every ounce of his love, his regret, his sorrow into that one moment.

And for that night, you let yourself believe that everything could be okay. You let yourself forget about the darkness that lurked just outside the window, about the danger that had always been a part of your life with Jason. You let yourself get lost in him, in the heat of his touch, in the way his body fit so perfectly against yours.

But even as you lay there, tangled together in the sheets, your bodies spent and your hearts heavy, there was a gnawing sense of dread that you couldn’t ignore.

Jason held you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you as if he was afraid you might disappear. His breath was warm against your neck, and for a moment, it felt like everything was normal, like nothing had changed.

But you knew better.

When you finally fell asleep, Jason stayed awake, his eyes fixed on the ceiling as his mind raced. He could feel the weight of the decision he was about to make, the finality of it settling over him like a suffocating blanket. But he knew—he had always known—that this was the only way to keep you safe.

--------------------------------------------------

You woke the next morning to an empty bed. The spot where Jason had been was cold, the sheets rumpled but vacant. Panic surged through you as you sat up, your heart pounding in your chest. “Jason?” you called, your voice hoarse with sleep and fear.

But the apartment was silent.

You threw the covers off and hurried toward the window, hoping—praying—that you’d see him standing there, that this was all just a horrible misunderstanding. But when you reached the window, there was nothing. Just the faint hum of the city below, oblivious to the storm that had just torn through your life.

It wasn’t until you turned back toward the bed that you saw it—the note. A single sheet of paper, folded neatly and left on the nightstand, right where you would find it.

Your hands trembled as you picked it up, unfolding it slowly, dreading the words you knew would be there.

---------------------------------------------------

I love you. I always have. But I can’t stay. Every moment I’m with you, I’m putting you in danger, and I can’t live with that. You deserve a life without fear, without the constant threat of violence and pain. You deserve better than me.

I’m sorry for everything—for the pain, for the hurt, for leaving you like this. But this is the only way I can keep you safe. Please, don’t try to find me. I won’t let you.

Jason.

--------------------------------------------------

The words blurred as tears filled your eyes, and you sank to the floor, the note crumpling in your hand as you sobbed. The ache in your chest was unbearable, like a piece of you had been ripped away, leaving a hollow, gaping wound in its place.

You had always known this day might come. You had always known that loving Jason Todd meant living with the constant threat of losing him. But knowing it didn’t make it any easier. It didn’t make the pain any less suffocating.

He was gone.

And this time, he wasn’t coming back.

Far from Gotham, Jason walked alone. The city’s skyline faded into the distance as he disappeared into the shadows, leaving behind the only person who had ever made him feel like he could be more than the darkness that defined him.

His heart was heavy with regret, with sorrow, but he knew this was the only way. He had made his choice. And now, he would live with it.

Alone.

Always alone.

Because that was the price he had to pay for loving you.

And Jason knew, deep down, that he was never meant to have happiness—not in this life.

Taglist: @arisa191 @leo-lvr @stormz369

[vixen-tech]

if you want to -- maybe AUTO with a botanist reader? i just think it'd be so interesting how it would play out !! u dont have to, so only do it if u want to!!

🩹 anon

To be Loved, To Maybe be Changed (Auto x Botanist!Reader)

Oh that certainly is a concept!! It's a great one for Auto to, this put an entire storyline in my head that I think justifies breaking out the oneshot format rather than headcanons. Which works out great because I think out of all the Ai's I've written for, he would need the most 'set up' from how not-sentient he's protrayed in Wall-E. Anyways grab a snack floks this is a long one

It had been many generations since the Axium returned home to earth. Humans, robots, and the all important plant finding themselves back on soil, populating the deserted planet once more.

Things have changed since then. The human body began readapting to earth's gravity, the majority of buildings around the landing site have been fixed up and inhabited, and most importantly: the city is covered in plants. Grasses sprout between broken walkways, invy weaves its way up repurposed skyscrapers, gardens spill out of every available alleyway, a gaint tree stands where that first plant took root all those centuries ago. Each year it seems the sky gets a little more blue.

The ever diversifying flora had captivated you ever since you first had the words to describe it. As soon as you had a say so, you began studying it. Dispite the flourishing growth, any sort of plant husbandry was still something of a lost art. You lived off of the ancient manuals and beginners guides that eventually made their way out of the Axium's archives.

Yet even those could only do so much for you when most of the crops that had evolved from that first seedling had taken forms a far cry from their original pre space-age forefathers. It became your life's mission to learn how to best take care of these new cultivars and of course, spread the knowledge (and hopefully passion) for botany that you had gained throughout your life.

That was what fueled your visits to the Axium. Still parked at the foot of that monumental tree, it had been transformed into something of a community center. With most of its facilities still running and new services offered everyday. You often came to drop off your experimental findings, teach classes, and check to see if other botanists had done the same. Why you began exploring the depths of the halls that one fateful day, you still don't know.

The spaceship was massive, clearly a crowning jewel of its time. To this day many rooms remained unused and largely blocked off. The bustle and warmth of public spaces giving way to dust and insect nests as you roam through areas no longer needed. Bathrooms too far from the people to warrant upkeep, storage rooms that were once filled with replacement parts for the robots that now walked side by side with humans. And at the end of your journey, the captain's quarters.

The door was practically sealed shut with age, and the room behind it was hardly any better. The air attacked you with a cloud of dust once you finally managed to shove open the door, and no matter how much you rubbed your eyes there still appeared to be an almost foggy looking quality to the room.

That's when you found Auto.

He was still dangling from the ceiling above a control panel you doubt still worked. You had seen and befriended many robots before, they were just as common as humans in the city nowadays with remarkably little tension between them. Recognizing that the innert steering wheel in front of you was once one, your heart ached. You were no mechanic, but surely you had to at least try to get him up and running again. What can you say, you were always a bit of a bleeding heart.

After carefully detaching him from the ceiling you carried what was essentially an inanimate hunk of metal all the way back home with you. People stared, sure, but they kept any questions or judgments to themselves as you made your way home.

Your residence was rustic, to say the least. A fairly rundown shack renovated into a makeshift greenhouse. Produce and flowering plants alike overflowed from their neat rows of pots on benches. Some were for you, more were to sell, all were part of research in one way or another.

You loved walking through your own little botanical garden to get to your living quarters. The moment you pass through the front doors you're always hit with a wave of earthy freshness. The smell of petrichor and pollen greeted you (and your new... friend?) just as it always did. Never once failing to make you feel at home.

Your living quarters themselves were similarly homey. Not drastically bigger than a hotel room, it's a modest living area with a kitchen tucked in the corner and two doors along the wall. One leading to a compact bathroom, the other your bedroom. Some may call it cramped, but to you it's cozy. You spent most of your time in the greenhouse anyway.

That might have been the only day you mourned your lack of space. As if he were a friend you had to drag home after a night of drinking, you placed Auto on the couch. Promising to yourself that you'd do your best to fix him up. You'd probably have to give him some wheels to, since you ripped him from the ship. Well, your life could always use some more excitement.

--------------------

Your knowledge of machinery had definitely improved over the past few weeks. On all accounts you were extraordinarily lucky that he was in such good shape. Age had rendered most of his circuits unusable, but isolation kept them from becoming unrecognizable. Night after night you would come home with a new part and with surgical delicacy, swap it out for its damaged counterpart.

You had heard stories from the time of the Axium. You knew of the 'evil autopilot program that tried to trap humanity in space'. You knew that you were probably trying to fix said evil autopilot program. It may have been the weeks of one sided bonding, but you didn't buy it. Surely at worst he was just following orders. And who knows, maybe with some free will he might be able to turn over a new leaf.

--------------------

"What happened?" His voice was striking, deep and inhumanly regular in a way that was still seen a trademark of artificial speech. He was upright on the wheeled body you attached him to, the red eye (camera?) at the center of his face seemed to scan you up and down before doing the same to the room around him.

The cocktail of pride and anxiety had yet to leave your chest. You attempted to explain, "Well I fixed you-"

"Before that." He interrupted. Slowly wheeling himself to the living room window, still unsure of the new addition you had made to his body. "Where are we?" He added.

You should have been prepared for that one. "We're on earth, in my house." You watched with apprehension as he stared out the window. The steering wheel that made his outer body clicked back and forth as if he were swaying in thought.

"Earth is habitable." His voice lacked strong inflection, you were unsure if he was asking you a question or stating the fact to himself.

"It has been for a long time." You said as gently as you possibly could. "You were... on that ship for centuries, a lot has changed since then."

If he was listening to you, he made no effort to show it. Instead continuing to look outside as if he were zoning out in thought. "There are plants", he observed.

The view out that window wasn't remarkable by any means. Just some grass and a few odd trees before the city's skyscrapers blocked your line of sight. But the mere mention of plants was always enough to get you excited. "Oh if you're interested in plants you should see this." Gesturing for him to follow you as you opened the door to your greenhouse.

He paused for a moment before trailing behind you.

--------------------

Auto made for a strange guest. With no astro-cruise to run he spent a considerable amount of time staring at you while you worked. It was only as you were measuring the pH of your plants' soil that you began narrating your work to him. It started as a way for you to simply diffuse the tension and explain why you were so invested in the vegetation.

He made for a good wall to rant to. You didn't have many close friends and certainly none as into botany as you, most other botanists spent as much time with their garden as you do. But thankfully, no matter how much you asked if you were being annoying, he would repeat that "The information is important, please continue." All while focused on whatever orchid you made the subject of your newest lecture. You did make it clear that he was free to leave at any time.

He never did.

--------------------

Your first trip to the Axium since Auto's reactivation was an awkward one, at least on your part. When you announced that you needed to go to drop off your latest batch of research he requested to could come with, one of the first things he asked of you since waking up.

Perhaps you shouldn't have been surprised, Auto had barely took a step outside your home. Relying instead on you and whatever books or documentaries you had to fill him in on what the world had become. Who were you to deny him some fresh air?

Although you had grown much more comfortable around him you were still anxious to hear what he thought of everything. And as always his judgment came in the form of definite reports. It was all "Humanity is stable." Or "Plant life is flourishing." If he had any semblance of opinion, he didn't tell you about it.

He didn't behave much differently on the Axium, continuing to trail you like a lost duckling and thoroughly scan the surroundings. It wasn't until you met up with a fellow herbalist that he spoke a word.

They asked you about a specific project you were working on, a new crossbreed of a medicinal herb of particular interest to them. However, as it wasn't the purpose of your trip you didn't have any of its records on you. You were about to apologize and tell them so until Auto informed them, "The crossbreed has shown accelerated growth but a greater sensitivity to sunlight." The herbalist thanked both of you and walked off.

Even though you shouldn't have been shocked to learn that he was actually storing the information you spat at him, it was still nice to know that he cared to some degree.

"Thank you, Auto."

"You're welcome."

--------------------

The days have gone on much the same since then. You had never sought out an adventurous life. Often you go out the greenhouse in the morning and find Auto observing the various moths and flies that had evolved as pollinators alongside the new flora. "Morning Auto!" You would cheerfully greet.

You never fully understood why he stayed, but it didn't matter to you at this point. He was here and he made no effort to go. You had more than enough room in your life for him anyway.

"Good morning."

And so another day starts.

[vampireimiko]

Neuvillette and gn! reader, they became a couple but by chance of fate they broke up, reader after a long time returned to Fontaine and saw Neuvillette again, and even though they both tried to hide it, they both still felt something for the other OEJTOEJTJIS.

Echoes of Memories

warnings, NONE !!

note, ill def be up to make a part two to this if people want it😭 BUT OMGNNGNGNG this is my first time writing something semi deep and actually the longest i've written something so 🤑

"Y/N?" The sound of your name sliced through the cocoon of your thoughts, abruptly pulling you back to the bustling reality of the café. With a reflexive start, your eyes lifted from your table to meet the gaze of none other than Neuvillette. A gasp involuntarily escaped your lips, and you felt your words stumble into fragments, caught off guard by the unexpected encounter. The sight of Neuvillette sent a flurry of emotions coursing through you, ones you had carefully tucked away in the recesses of your heart.

In all honesty, the last person you anticipated encountering upon your return to Fontaine was Neuvillette. Your intention had been to enter and exit the city swiftly, without unwrapping the layers of the past that lay dormant within its cobblestone streets and pristine waters. The mere thought of facing Neuvillette again was a surge of conflicting desires — the longing to reconnect, coupled with the determination to keep your distance.

It had been exactly 3 years and 7 months since you'd stepped a foot inside of Fontaine. 3 years and 7 months that you hadn't seen Neuvillette. You and Neuvillette were broken up, reason being, you wanted to focus more on your education and Neuvillette, being the Chief Justice, he couldn't leave Fontaine. You both decided a breakup would be best, instead of having to travel through the Desert or Liyue to continuously visit back.

It ended on good terms, but you couldn't deny the hurt that came with it. Every once in a while, you'd reminiscence about the relationship you had with Neuvillette and what you two could've been to this day, had you not gone to pursue your studies.

Neuvillette had always been the pillar of justice and order in Fontaine, and you admired his dedication to his role. The two of you had dreamed of a future together, balancing your aspirations with his responsibilities. But life had taken you on a different path, one that led you away from Fontaine's enchanting waters and into the world of akademiya.

Returning to Fontaine now, a swirl of emotions engulfed you. The city's charm felt both familiar and foreign, just as Neuvillette himself might. What had changed during your absence? How had time sculpted the lines of his face and the contours of his heart? The thought of seeing him again ignited a blend of excitement and anxiety within you.

As you navigated through the streets, memories came alive around every corner—where you first met, the park where you shared secrets, and the café where you both reveled in each other's company. The weight of your decision to prioritize your education remained, but so did the undeniable connection you had with Neuvillette.

Truth is, you hoped you ran into Neuvillette but at the same time, you didn't. But back to the present now, that wish and semi- nightmare came true.

"I- Hello Neuvillette," you managed to utter, your voice carrying a mixture of sheepishness and a nervous yet giddy smile that tugged at the corners of your lips. Your fingers instinctively found solace in the back of your neck, as if the touch could somehow alleviate the rapid heartbeat that had taken residence there.

Neuvillette's presence before you was both unchanged and subtly transformed. The years had lent an air of maturity to his already commanding stature. His tall figure still held that aura of authority you remembered, but now there was a new layer to him, a depth that seemed to have emerged from the trials and responsibilities he'd shouldered. The way he stood, his posture both confident and welcoming, suggested that time hadn't eroded the essence of his character.

For a moment, the café and its bustling patrons faded into the periphery. It was as if the world had narrowed down to the two of you, existing within a suspended breath, a heartbeat's pause between the fragments of the past and the possibilities of the present.

"I didn't expect to see you here," Neuvillette replied, his voice a warm current that mingled with the ambient sounds of the café. A smile played at the corners of his lips, a hint of nostalgia dancing in his eyes. "Fontaine seems to have a way of bringing back memories, doesn't it?"

The familiarity in his words, the resonance of shared experiences, eased the tension that had clenched your shoulders. The weight of unspoken conversations and unfinished narratives seemed to hang in the air between you, waiting to be acknowledged.

You found yourself nodding, the nervous energy gradually giving way to a sense of connection that bridged the years. "Yes, it certainly does. It's... It's been a while."

A subtle yet understanding smile curved Neuvillette's lips. "Indeed, it has." He paused, his gaze holding yours. "I hope these years have treated you well."

A swirl of emotions churned within you. Gratitude for the experiences you'd gained, curiosity about the path he'd walked, and the undeniable longing to rediscover the threads that had once woven your hearts together.

"They have," you replied softly, the words carrying the weight of unspoken stories.

Now, after this encounter you decided to stay in Fontaine for just a bit longer. You swore it wasn't just because of some tall long haired fella. As the days past you could feel the feelings you suppressed for Neuvillette grow stronger and stronger, him the same.

As the days slipped by, Fontaine enveloped you in its embrace, offering a blend of familiarity and novelty. The streets you walked were imbued with memories, and every corner seemed to whisper the secrets of your shared past. The city had changed, and yet it hadn't, much like Neuvillette himself. But what had shifted the most was the landscape of your own heart.

With every fleeting smile, every accidental brush of hands, the feelings that had long been suppressed surged forth like a tide that refused to be restrained. And it wasn't just you; there was a tangible change in Neuvillette's demeanor as well. The way he looked at you, the moments of silence that carried entire conversations, spoke of a bond that had been preserved, untouched by the years that had passed.

It was in the lingering gazes that lasted a heartbeat too long, in the way his voice softened when he spoke your name, and in the laughter that held the resonance of shared experiences. The magnetism between you two was undeniable, a force that seemed to defy time and logic. The more you tried to convince yourself that this was merely a chance reconnection, the more the gravity of your emotions pulled you in.

One evening, as the city's lights began to shimmer and twinkle like stars fallen to earth, you found yourselves standing by the city's edge, the gentle lull of water nearby creating a symphony of its own. Neuvillette's gaze held a vulnerability that matched the shadows cast by the fading sun. He turned to you, his eyes searching yours as if seeking answers to questions he couldn't voice.

"Y/N," he began, his voice, which was usually calm and confident, carrying a mixture of hesitation and longing. "Do you ever wonder... what if?"

The question hung in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken emotions. You looked at him, your heart and mind colliding in a tempest of feelings. The echoes of what might have been reverberated through your thoughts, intertwining with the present that seemed equally uncertain and full of potential.

Your response, a mirror to his vulnerability, was a whisper that held within it the uncharted territories of the heart. You put your head on his shoulder. "Every day."

𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 🤓☝🏾𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐑𝐀𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐇𝐘𝐇𝐇 𝐍𝐄𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄 !! 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦 (𝐢𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥) 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 🫶🏾

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

[yourantag]

Rises the Moon (Ithaqua×Reader)

AN: 3 posts in a row? More likely than you'd think! The next is probably gonna be dropped on New Years since I heard if you post too much at once, you can get shadow banned. Still, gotta feed you guys the few things I've written before I'm dragged back to school. This fic was actually written in August for the Ithaqua server's Ithaugust. The prompt was "you forgot, but I remember." I was between hitting the reader with a car k-drama style or this, but luckily I ended up with this. Enjoy! Word count: 2.0k words TW: Mild violence, death, and yandere themes. Summary: The sun god has always loved the deity of the moon. Even as galaxies collided and the stars died, he has loved them. But fate is not kind, ripping you away from him. Again, and again, and again. So, even if you cry, he can only apologize. He'd rather confine you in these walls than lose you ever again.

"What do you think of mortals, my sun?"

"They're selfish fools who yearn for more than they need, so easily consumed by greed."

"My, such cruel generalizations. Not all of them are like that."

"Perhaps, but can you truly claim that most are innocent?"

"I suppose not, but I believe in it."

"Believe in what?"

"The good in humanity. I'm willing to bet my life on it."

-

The ebbing and flowing of time was as inevitable as the pushing and pulling of the tides, taking with it lives and memories of the past. With each rotation of the sun, the rise of a new moon, and the occasional visits of comets and asteroids from beyond, life continued. Regardless of the pain and suffering of those who lived on, the world continued to turn, just as time continued to march on. Sometimes, Ithaqua wished it would just stop.

Thirty million, two hundred two thousand, and twenty three years have passed.

Twenty five human lifetimes have come and gone, each one leaving him more grief-stricken than before.

Every encounter with you was as devastating as the last, leaving Ithaqua yearning to see you again while praying he didn't. Every time he met you, you'd steal his heart again, as if you could steal something that was already yours to begin with. Yet, still, he'd fall in love with you again and again, lifetime after lifetime, like a fool.

Each life only really started when he met you, held you in his arms, and loved you. Then, tragically, horribly, unavoidably, his life ended when you died.

The first life had been fine, the two of you born as commoners in some civilization long past. It was a hard life of surviving the elements, fending off wild animals, and trying to just live in a world humans had not yet adapted to. Still, however difficult it was, Ithaqua treasured the memories of that life as it had taught him so much about humans. 

Such resilient creatures, capable of persevering and creating. He saw just how brilliant they were, and just how stupid as well. They could take down animals twice their size and weight yet couldn't figure out how to navigate. 

Incredible. 

Regardless, sitting around campfires, singing songs, running in the fields and just living was invigorating. Ithaqua came to appreciate life and the small things within it; from the crunching of leaves to the chirping of birds, the blue seas and the cloudy skies. The views and experiences he'd never get to have as a god, the ones he'd never get to know or love as an immortal, even the very essence of fleeting lives became so, so very beautiful to him.

Humans were nothing compared to the gods, but when Ithaqua sat among them, talked to them, laughed with them, he came to find that you were right. Despite how difficult it was to live in this world, humans still held kindness for each other. They offered him food despite not having much for themselves. They offered him shelter despite not having much room. They offered him help despite needing help themselves.

Such complicated, foolish, yet oddly kind creatures they were, but that made them all the more charming. Ithaqua genuinely considered that the humans in this world were unlike the ones from the last, that they were truly good. They treated the two of you so well, and taught him so much.

The last lesson they ever taught him was just how far they'd go to ensure their own survival.

It wasn't something Ithaqua ever expected to experience, not when he had been a god his whole life. The rumble of the earth as it trembled under the stamping feet of hundreds of cattle shocked him. Fear bloomed in his heart as he saw animals he'd only ever regarded as sacrifices before becoming deadly, stampeding through the small village the two of you resided in.

He was lucky, or so many had said. Surviving such an experience by not being too close was a blessing. Yet, how could Ithaqua feel that way when you hadn't made it out safely? When he saw, from the cliff that watched over the village,  that a man pushed you in front of the charging cattle to save himself?

The bitter taste of betrayal lingered on his tongue for a long time, even after he had killed the man and everyone whose negligence led to the incident.

The next life was kinder, as though the world itself understood he needed time to process things and feel better. When he met you once more, you had given him a warm smile and a hug.

Ithaqua held you for a long, long time. He breathed in your scent, listened to the steady beat of your heart, and slowly started to compose himself. He hadn't even realized how distressed he was until he found himself calm once more.

The two of you caught up, explaining what had happened in this life, what you wanted to do in this slightly more advanced time, and more. At some point, Ithaqua had to ask you if you still believed in the good in humanity.

"Of course I do! Why wouldn't I?"

He wanted to say the obvious answer. He wanted to point out the fact that you died in the last life because of humans, because of their selfishness, their incompetence, their betrayal. Yet, when he looked in your eyes, seeing them clear of any feelings of hatred, Ithaqua let it go. If you forgave them, he would too.

Really, it should've been more obvious to him that it was a warning.

The gentle days of sitting in the sun, playing in the river, and feeling the pure relief of having you back had made Ithaqua blind to such a hint. He simply went on with this life, living happily with you by his side.

Though extremely wary, Ithaqua came to trust humans once more. Naively, he came to believe that perhaps, the humans of this time period were better. Perhaps, they were more civilized. With less of a focus on surviving and more so on improving the quality of life, things were more peaceful than before.

Ithaqua relaxed as he once more laughed among humans, sharing new jokes, reciting old poetry, and learning new things that had recently been discovered. You always smiled so sweetly when you saw him interact with mortals, so he tried his best to be more social.

"Talking with humans is crucial! It helps stimulate the brain and be happier. We're humans now, so we need to keep in mind what they need to survive."

Ithaqua would've loved to disagree, claiming that this vulnerable mortal shell was not who he was, therefore his needs were not the same, but his stomach would always disagree. Still, he vehemently denied being human, even as he ate whatever you had made for him. At the least, Ithaqua knew he didn't need to spend time with others. You were more than enough.

The moments he had with you were treasured more than any others.

He shared the first snowfall of his life with you, the soft specks of ice fluttering delicately in the wind. They swirled around you two as you danced, laughing as the surroundings became blanketed in white. Ithaqua thought, once again, that the world was beautiful. But, perhaps that was just because of you?

However, it seemed like only when the wounds of the past had healed that tragedy would strike once more. This time, it was a more targeted murder, one where they were out to kill you specifically. Poisoned to death because of jealousy, because of someone who apparently loved him and thought that, somehow, he'd love them if they killed you.

The first winter of that year was tainted by the blood on his hands, soaking into the snow. Red seeped into the ice and polluted the otherwise serene beauty of the frost covered land, painting it in ugly colors that seared itself into his mind. However, compared to the sight of your cold, lifeless, glassy eyes, the once comforting and kind ones that shined like stars in the sky, it was no travesty.

No words in the world could express the pain in his chest or the severity of this crime. Not even if the heavens fell or if the world itself turned its back on its inhabitants, nothing, nothing at all could be worse than the sin of robbing you of your life.

Ithaqua's heart ached more than his frostbitten fingers realizing that, this year, he wouldn't get to dance with you. Not this year nor the next, or the next, not until he died and was reborn to start the cycle anew.

Even after the first betrayal, the first death, Ithaqua felt incredibly hurt that he was betrayed again by humanity.

Still, he pushed on.

For you.

Yet, with each life that passed by, you recognized Ithaqua less and less. You forgot things about him, be it his godhood or the memories you shared. You were starting to forget yourself, not remembering that you weren't human, that this wasn't how you were supposed to be.

By the tenth life, you didn't recognize him at all.

You remembered nothing about your past lives, nothing about your godhood, not even his name, nothing, you remembered nothing.

You forgot.

Still, he desperately sought you out. In each life, Ithaqua tried to get you to remember your past lives, the happy memories, the bad ones, even just his name or the stupid bet, anything. It would be fine if you remembered that time he slipped and fell like an idiot. It would be fine if you remembered how he tried to drown a fish. It would be fine if you remembered anything, anyone, just as long as you remembered.

But you didn't.

And, every time, you'd die.

Again. And again. And again.

You fell for the trickery of humans time and time again. To their cunning, their cruelty, their evil. No matter how he tried to save you, how hard he tried to convince you not to trust them, it never mattered. Everything he did was futile, only ever allowing him to miserably watch as you died again.

Once upon a time, Ithaqua believed. He thought it was possible that, in another world, another place, humans could be kind. They gave kindness so freely, offering assistance and support with smiles, but in the end, the results were always the same.

Humans could never be trusted, not when he- you had been betrayed in every lifetime.

…

Twenty five. 

Twenty five lifetimes with you. Watching you get betrayed, watching you suffer, watching you die.

And yet, you remembered none of them.

It's no different this time, you see him and feel a connection, yet you don't remember him. You sometimes remember things about him like his favorite color, his favorite foods, even the things he hates, but it's always chalked up to instincts, nothing more and nothing less.

Ithaqua is tired. Tired of being forgotten, tired of being betrayed, but most of all, tired of losing you. So, there's really only one thing he can do. If you won't listen to his warnings, and if all of his efforts to protect you are futile, then the only logical option is to keep you away from humans.

It's not hard to get you away from them when you trust him with your life.

Delicately trailing a finger down your face, Ithaqua smiles. Blindfolded, chained, and trapped you may be, but you're still radiant in his eyes. Ever so brilliant and glowing, even within the confines of a dimly lit room.

"It'll be okay, my moon, all will be fine. Here, you are safe. No one can hurt you, and no one can take you away." Ithaqua drags his hand down your arm, watching you shiver. He pulls up the blanket on your lap to cover you more, humming lightly.

"You know, I'm quite a jealous man." He says off-handedly, rubbing a thumb over your knuckles, the chain around your wrist clinking at the faint movement.

"Death has had you for so long... would it be so selfish of me to ask you to stay with me for eternity?"

If you don't remember, it's fine. After all, he remembers, and that's what matters. Ithaqua can remind you as many times as you need. After all, you can't leave.

[crzyimp]

Another Sun Au: Tang Monk and Young Sun

Author's Note: Written for the discord JTTW server event! Ngl this is one of my guilty pleasures and one I often think about/daydream. This is a intro to hopefully more(when I have time to write) of my au. Also open for any questions(and requests if it sparks my mood) related to Journey to the west :3

Warnings: None

Words: Roughly 1.65k

Special thanks and shoutout to @sparrow-in-boots for being my beta reader! Check out their blog(s) and art!!

“Baldy monky! I'm here for the secret lesson!” A jovial voice shrieks, the voice bouncing and echoing in his cell. It wouldn't be a secret for long with how loud she's being, but then again, not a single adult yaoguai monkey stopped her yet, nor did the Great Sage make an appearance since that day. So much trust to allow her to roam free like this or how overconfident the ruler of the mountain seems to be, with no care that even children can come and go as they please.

He opens and closes his mouth, as if to say something, before calmly replying to her; “Young Sun,” he wants to keep his distance, at least emotional and personal, “Refrain from shouting, remember inside voices, less you draw six ears.” Especially when any day his head will be on a platter for the Great Sage and his sworn brothers as the grandest of grand feasts. “And please do not call me ‘Baldy Monky’, it's rude.”

Finally she comes into his view with a blank expression, but her eyes sparkle with innocent joy. “Sorry, shifu.” Young Sun whispers, crouching next to his bars. “I got excited about today's lessons.” Tripitaka sighs, tries his best to smile at her, only to falter when she flinches. “I'm really sorry for being loud. Please don't be mad at me.” He can only blink and look at her.

Mad at her? Sure, he was mad and frustrated, but at his situation rather than her; Tripitaka was meant to be journeying to the West to gather the scriptures to bring back to the Tang Empire, along with his small party. The travel was ruinously cut short after they were captured by yaoguai, with Tripitaka as the sole survivor who witnessed the others devoured. He would’ve met the same fate, but fate was crueler. The Heaven-Equaling Great Sage, the one who wreaked havoc in heaven and escaped from Budda’s imprisonment, happened to pay a visit to his lowly general's home. The look from those fiery eyes petrified his very soul that day, before the Great Sage declared that he will stay at the Flower Fruit Mountain for a celebration in the coming weeks, as the main course. “Dis….Young Sun, let us start with your lesson.” He shifts to face her, his beads - bless the Merciful Bodhisattva they didn't strip from him - cupped together in his hands.

“Okay, Shifu.” Young Sun mimics him, albeit clumsily, her thin and hairy arms shuffling her equally hairy legs to cross together like his. His lips twitches, as he fondly looks at her and reminded how at her age he did the very same thing: full of energy and wonderment for the world with a yearning to learn and to help; until the iron bars between them came back to his view and the bleak reminder of his future. Despite this, he begins the first teachings of Buddhism, blessed that at least this persistent, curious monkey wants to learn.

It wasn't even a day after his arrival that Young Sun met him for the first time.

“I am Sun Yángguāng, the youngest and first to be born in 500 years! Who are you, ape? And why are you bald?”

He was so terrified and shocked at their first, but short meeting together as the Great Sage and his four ape generals were there as well. Tripitaka can't recall if it was one of the generals or the Great Sage himself who whisked her away for a scolding. Not that it did much, as she found ways to visit him and learn much of the outside world and Buddhism through him.

“Um…shifu..” Her voice was quiet and unsure, something that must've been on her mind for some time.

“We're not meant to talk during meditation.” He replies.

“I know but…” Young Sun sighs and Tripitaka opens his eyes to look at her. “...I'm conflicted, each day draws nearer to the King's grand feast with the other sages and your…” She bites down at her lip, her eyes move to the ground when they meet his. Ah, this topic again. He remembers how jovial she was at the beginning of the feast and the special occasion until she realized what it meant for him. A topic that is that left her more somber and haunted by restless nights, though this never stopped her from visits and lessons.

“I cannot be biased and say I wish to die, Young Sun. I wish to live so that I continue my journey, but if I am fated to die here, then so be it.” He accepted this, it breaks his heart that he'll fail before he even began,but he'll atone in his next life. He just never expected this would also break her heart, someone who only knew him for a short time. Tripitaka watches as she bows her head and her knuckles turn white with her colorful hanfu bunched up between her fingers; her body shakes with a sharp inhale. He doesn't say a word, nor comforts or cries, he accepts his death and so must she.

No words were exchanged between them after that, Young Sun collects herself and leaves with her head high, but her eyes clouded. Tripitaka inhales deeply and returns to his meditation. That was the last time he saw her, never returning for lessons or visits again; the small ray of sunshine made his lonesome cell dark and alone with his thoughts.

Days or weeks have passed, and Tripitaka wasn't certain how long he's been trapped, but none of that matter as today was his final day in this life. The guards came and announced it before they escorted him from the dingy dungeon to the opulent stone palace. So many twists and turns that made his head spin. It was like a labyrinth and only the residents would know the exit. It was hopeless to even attempt an escape. Before the guards arrived in a room with a tray of food and wine. So the Great Sage had some compassion to allow him one final supper, even if it was back handed to him.

The guards toss him onto the stone floor, the rugs his only means to dampen his fall and the cold before they turn and slam the door with a laugh. He can still hear them through the thick wood as he dusts himself off. If he listens more closely, he can hear the chattering of servants as he sits with his eyes closed.

“Today's finally here!”

“All the Sages under one roof like before the Great War. This will be the perfect mend between our alliance!”

“I heard the Demon Bull King is bringing his son, but not his first wife. I wonder if one of his servants has juicy gossip about that.”

“Grandfather Sun has picked such a perfect day to celebrate, such an auspicious day!”

“Shifu.” A hush whisper against his ear and hands quickly press to stop any sounds of panic slipping through his mouth. “It's me, Young Sun.” Tripitaka finally relaxes and opens his eyes as her arms slip past his head. “I meditated and reflected before I finally found the answer.” He shuffles until he can see Young Sun and softly gasps at the sight. “I decided to fully dedicate myself to be your disciple and helping you on your journey.”

The candle's lights shine beautifully against her freshly shaven head and just beyond, over her shoulder from his view, a hidden passage. “We don't have much time Shifu, we have to hurry before they find ou-”

Just as Young Sun helps bring her master to his feet, a scream bounces and echoes off the walls, cutting through all else and sending the whole palace in a flurry. “Yángguāng! Someone took our Yángguāng!”

Sun Yángguāng wastes no time as she guides her master through the secret passage and closes it behind them. She has to be quick and clever for them to escape. She hoped Aunty RinRin wouldn't check up on her for another thirty minutes, but she should've expected today's excitement that Aunty Rinrin wanted her to look her best for the guests. Her hands reach for his, and she presses a finger to her lip before navigating the secret passage; crossing one room to reach a new one without notice. One day, Young Sun will apologize for the fright she given to Aunty RinRin over the mess of her room, but not today.

The two pause and stop whenever footsteps drawing near are heard, only to go a different direction. She leads downwards, deeper into the stone palace, “Trust me, Shifu.” As if she knew his doubts, and gave a squeeze to the monk's hand. Tripitaka says nothing, but squeezes her hand back.

The smell of a salty breeze, cracks of moonlight dances on the small craven dock. “This is how the elders survived the burning.” Young Sun helps Tripitaka into the small boat, barely enough room for the two of them between boxes and jars. “Forgive me for my absence. I was getting preparations ready, and it wasn't easy to go unnoticed. It's the downside of being the youngest and only mortal of my kingdom.”

He watches her untie the ropes and use the oar to push away from dry land. “I hope the king was drinking his fill before that scream, I don't think I can outsmart him when his mind isn't dull with wine. Hopefully there is mercy and we leave without his notice.”

Gently, the oar glides and swishes in the water as the boat exits the cave and into the open; neither of them dare light a lantern nor talk as the sounds of shouting and soon fighting rang out from the island. They keep their eyes forward as the sounds are slowly drowned by the waves splashing against the boat on their journey to the west.

[fang-and-feather]

Masks Off

Ikemen Vampire - Sebastian x Pureblood! Reader

I had this with the last scene pending since February, but despite everything, I finally finished it!

Written for the Love Booth Challenge by @queengiuliettafirstlady, for Sebastian's prompts: Secrets and "My composure is an act."

Words: 1,714

Summary: Forced apart and then back together by twists of fate, you and Sebastian hold on to your secrets and try to ignore the past. But with old feelings that never went away resurfacing and your secrets on the verge of being revealed, you are forced to face each other, all masks off.

Tags: Fluff, Getting back Together, Canon Divergence

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / AO3 Link

Sebastian tried to work with you, like he’d been doing nearly every day since your arrival, but after what just happened, it was difficult with the way you were acting.

At first, you were blushing, avoiding looking at him, and jumpy when he approached. A reasonable reaction to an accidental kiss.

But through your attempt to continue normal work, he watched you frown and tense more, your breath becoming audibly heavier.

Sebastian wasn’t sure if he should go away or send you away. He could try to help, but you had gone so out of the way to be discreet about this that he wasn’t sure if he should reveal that he already knew.

When he decided it was better to be the one to leave and let you solve your problem on your own, he was distracted by you picking a glass a little too hard and accidentally shattering it. You jumped back, startled, before fleeing the scene.

Sebastian sighed and started cleaning up the glass shards before he could resume his work.

He had no idea why you made the effort to hide the truth. Not only from him, but from everyone else, too. Unaware that he already knew.

It was easy to find out as soon as he arrived in the mansion and started to learn about the vampires. Every strange thing from your past together started to make sense, including your mysterious move that ended the couple of years of your young romance.

Who would imagine two old sweethearts would meet again over a century in the past. Years had passed in your time too, and both of you had grown. Maybe way too much.

But Sebastian still loved you. It didn’t take him long after your reunion to realize that. But due to his problems, he had chosen to ignore it and pretend you were strangers again. He hoped you would return home.

And you had played along until he had a few sick days, which worried everyone. They came to visit and spend time with him, some even trying to give him gifts.

He’d never considered himself such an important presence in their lives to get that treatment. He was just a butler. Except for being a human willing to work for vampires knowingly, there was nothing special about him that they couldn’t get someone else after he was gone. He never meant to make himself anything important for anyone. Not after letting go of everything he already had in his old life.

Which wasn’t much, either.

The most worried, though, was the ghost of his past that accidentally chased him even across time. The one whose first sight of promised salvation. A salvation he’d tried to run from, but now was considering embracing.

He wanted to believe the others would soon let go of him when he was gone. But you? You had the opportunity to forget him. Sebastian thought you did, until then.

But you stuck by his side while he was ill. With whispers that he didn’t know if happened in his dreams, and were reflections of his desires, or if he was half awake and these were yours.

And he realized you had nothing to go back to. You held on to him because he was the only thing that ever made you feel alive and happy. The only one who made you feel at home. That’s why you never mentioned your family, or why you didn’t seem friends with the people who hung around you.

A part of him wanted to believe you could stay, even without him, though. You had made yourself a home with the others in the mansion, and he wanted to believe you would find happiness in here after he was gone. But it seemed unlikely as you looked at him, failing to conceal your worry.

And at the time, he wondered if you weren’t someone worth living for. You were back in his life. He knew who you were and that you could rebuild your relationship.

But was love enough to live on for? He’d so long abandoned any other purpose in life. Could he find one now?

He would talk to you about it as soon as you calmed down, even if he would not be able to make a decision about his future right away.

Comte came in soon to get you some rouge. The purebloods were the only ones you couldn’t really hide from, so it wasn’t surprising you relied on one of them in that situation.

Sebastian only saw you late at night, when he was finally done with work and you were the one to seek him out.

“Hey. Do you have a second?” You knocked on his door.

“Come in.”

You walked in with hesitant steps, only briefly looking at him.

“Sorry to bother you this late. I wanted to apologize for leaving you with all the work.”

“That’s not something you need to apologize for.”

“No, I do. I didn’t need to have taken that much time off. And the accident that caused it was also my fault. Sorry for that too.” you bowed. “Not that you care.” He heard you mutter, probably without realizing it was audible.

He did care. The past was harder to forget when it was this close to him. He was just good at masking his true thoughts and feelings, and apparently, even you, as perceptive as you usually were, couldn’t see through him.

In other circumstances, he would be happy, but at the moment, it frustrated him.

You startled when he took a step towards you, and stepped back when he took another, until you had your back against the closed door.

He had already decided to admit defeat and tell you the truth. To hold into that little hope you brought back into his life. And the moment couldn’t be better.

“Did you want me to care?”

“I… I don’t know. I just…” You looked down, a light blush coloring your face. “I feel so pathetic for being the only one who couldn’t forget the past. The only one for whom it meant something.”

He knew you had some difficulty accepting this arrangement, but you had always been so good at reading people and emotionally mature that he never expected you were hiding such negative thoughts.

But his behavior since you arrived at the mansion probably wasn’t the source of such thoughts. It was likely you had been alone with them for years before arriving here. He only accidentally fueled them.

He called your name, but when you didn’t look back at him, he cradled your chin and made you look up.

“Do you really think I would have wasted my time with someone who would mean nothing to me?”

“Well, pretending to not know me seems pretty easy for you.” You shot back, barely concealing the anger in your voice. Whether you were truly angry or just feeling cornered was hard to tell.

“It isn’t.” He sighed, and his voice softened. “My composure is an act. One that I thought would benefit you.”

“To push me away from here? Or away from you?”

“From me. I wasn’t prepared to face what your coming back into my life meant.”

“And what did it mean?”

He gave you a teasing smile.

“That depends if it was you whispering by my bedside that you could save me, or if it was my imagination.”

You finally properly met his gaze, a challenging glint that he hadn’t seen for years returning to them.

“Well, that depends on whether you were just tired or if I was right to worry.”

He sighed, but smiled back, releasing you and taking just one step back.

That was as much an admission as any. You always had good intuition. It wasn’t surprising he couldn’t fool you, even if you weren’t one hundred percent sure of what you thought you knew.

Which meant both of you knew each other’s secrets, and there was no point in pretending you didn’t.

And it also meant you were much more than he thought at first, and his choice of how to proceed from now on didn’t affect your life as much as he expected.

But it still made enough of a difference.

“You would worry even if I was just tired, anyway.”

“And would fix it at once, you wanting me to or not. But this… As much as I was tempted to fix this, the choice is entirely yours. And I can’t even say it is the best choice and you would have no serious reasons to refuse because I would be lying.”

“For someone who sounded so desperate to save me that day, you’re not being very convincing.”

“I’m being realistic. The only thing I can offer you besides healing, I don’t think I have the right to. I was the one who disappeared without a word years ago and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t change what happened.”

“It was your parents’ decision, no? For your safety, probably.”

“Or just to get me away from you. They seemed to think I was growing too attached.”

“And they were right, if the incident this morning is any indication.”

“Growing attached is different from truly loving someone. I guess it is no secret that my case was the latter. I was afraid to give away the truth, but it was hard to hide this morning.”

“Because I kissed you?”

“You make it sound as if you did that on purpose.”

Again, you blushed and looked away. Amused, he pulled you to look at him, but this time he kissed you.

You didn’t react at first, and only looked at him with wide eyes as he pulled back, making him chuckle.

“Now it was on purpose.” He whispered in your ear, finally making you jump.

“And why would you do that?!” you asked, voice almost too high.

“Because I still love you, too. And no matter where our paths will lead from here, while we have all masks and pretenses off, I wanted you to know.”

Although he had a good idea of where his path would lead. The remaining doubts would be assured in time, just like his masks slowly slipped away in front of you.

Tag List: @tele86, @nightghoul381, @natimiles, @bicayaya, @eventinelysplayground, @2-lines-and-a-circle

If you want to be tagged/untagged on future writings, you can reply to this post or send me a message

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Going To A Haunted House With Obi

Obi Akitaru X FemReader

Rating: T+

Warnings: Haunted house goodies galore filled with splatter filled dreams, suggestive themes

Word Count: 1.7k

(A/N:) Here it is folks my yearly Halloween Obi fic! This just became my own little tradition and I'm not gonna lie I look forward to it every year! I just adore this man! 💜 I can't lie either I enjoyed writing the haunted house part, because I am a sick and twisted person. I'm not sorry. I hope to get some more Halloween goodies posted throughout this month so keep your eyes peeled as I continue to work whenever I can. Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

Halloween was always you and Obi's special night. Date nights were always planned for October 31st and this year you both decided to miss out on the Fire Force's annual Halloween Party and have some much needed alone time. Things had been crazy around the 8th and it was beginning to finally slow when the fateful day finally came around. This year you both had written several different ideas down on strips of paper and placed them in Obi's helmet. You both were to pick one strip of paper apiece and those activities would be done on the date. Obi picked enjoying the downtown Halloween festival and your slip had you both a little nervous as it said 'visit a haunted house.' You both asked Shinra and the crew what house would be the best to visit and every single one of them picked the scariest one that existed in Tokyo. Now you both couldn't back down from the challenge as your crew would think you two cowards. You looked at Obi nervously but he just shrugged his shoulders.

Halloween came around quickly and with the team occupied with celebrating their night in their own fashion, you and Obi were free to enjoy yourselves. The day was chilly, a crisp breeze flowing through the streets. The giggles of children and parents keeping a close eye filled the busier neighborhoods. Obi took your hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm glad we don't have to go to that horrible party like we did last year," you spoke watching a group of children pass by with a struggling parent lagging behind. Obi chuckled squeezing your hand a little tighter. Being captain was a job he loved but it did have it's downsides.

"It wasn't that bad," he replied causing you to pout. "Okay it was bad."

"Keep doing that Obi and all you'll be getting on this hallowed night is tricks," you teased.

"Don't be stingy now," he purred.

You ducked from Obi's searching lips, escaping from his grip to trot down the sidewalk. Despite his large and muscular body, Obi was fast when he wanted to be. It didn't take long for him to catch up and catch you. Picking you up easily and pulling you into his chest, where all you could do was laugh.

Walking a little further you could smell the festival on the breeze. A mix of warm spiced apple cider, caramel apples, and popcorn tickling your nose. You glanced at Obi before giving his hand a squeeze and dragging him a little faster. Surrounded by various booths of food and games it was a Halloween wonderland that you never wanted to end. All the games that had to do with strength, Obi excelled in them. You felt a little bad for the people running the booth as they lost money to the large Fire Force captain. But once that cute fuzzy prize was placed in your arms, you didn't feel all that bad anymore. Before Obi could continue to clean out all the booths from their prizes, you both were ready for some food from the different stalls. Splitting up Obi wanted to grab the food while you went to a different booth for drinks. You were done first so it was up to you to find a table. You were getting nervous as it seemed like everywhere was took up, until a couple just finished up and left a table close to the entrance. You snagged it quickly, setting the drinks and your prizes down.

Obi found you a little later with a feast in tow. How he carried it all on his own was amazing and the food tasted wonderful. With empty food cartons and cups, the sun began to set. The temperature dropped lower causing you to shiver a little at a nippy breeze.

"Ready to go to the haunted house," Obi asked gathering up the trash.

"No," you answered honestly.

"Me either," he laughed. "But it was in the hat and I'm sure you were the one who wrote it down."

"I couldn't think of anything!"

"Don't worry," he whispered in your ear, "I'll protect you."

The haunted house was about a five minute walk from the festival and you both found that the line inside was even closer due to the amount of people waiting. The haunted house didn't open until later that day and unfortunately you both hadn't planned on a big line starting early. Now you got to stand in line and dread going in more as the echoes of screams pierced the night. Obi squeezed your hand as you flinched at every high pitched blood curdling scream. Despite being in line for almost half and hour it felt like a blink and you both were at the entrance. The outside workers with lights in hand waved you both through and shut the door with a loud boom behind you.

The darkness swallowed you both whole and you could feel Obi shivering. So much for protecting you from the ghouls in the house. You both faced Infernals on a daily basis but a haunted house was already proving to be too much and you both just entered. Taking a deep breath Obi stepped forward first keeping a tight grip on your hand, leading you into the eerily lit dark. The first room you entered was splattered with fake blood and severed limbs on chains dangling from the ceiling. Somebody was strapped to the table in a bloody gown, screaming at the top of their lungs.

"Help me! He's going to kill me help me!"

You jumped squeezing tighter to Obi when a large man leapt out from behind a curtain, chainsaw in hand running towards you and Obi. A scream left your throat and you raced from the room dragging Obi with you. Leaving the chainsaw maniac behind, a hallway was between this room and the next. Dolls sitting on the shelves and the only lights were directed on them. Some dolls' hands were waving, some of their heads were spinning. Majority of them were missing eyes, limbs, and only tufts of hair were left on their heads.

"Come play with us," the dolls giggled.

"Come," their voices were growing lower.

"Play," lower.

"With us," they finished in a voice that sounded like it belonged to a creature from the Underworld. It was that moment a ghoulish looking woman raced from behind a secret wall, screaming as blood drained from her empty sockets. You clung to Obi who also held onto you as you both screamed.

Escaping the hallway you made it into the next room. Jail cells surrounded the walls, rusty and dank. You could swear you could smell something cooking. A warden circled around the room, bloody keys jingling on his duty belt while the judge stood beside an electric chair. Zombie prisoners reached between the decrypted bars trying to grab a hold of you and Obi. One snagged the hem of your shirt and tugged roughly, pulling you down on the floor where rotten teeth reached for your neck. You screamed trying to tug yourself from the creature's grip. Obi was at your side yanking you up from the floor as the judge pulled the lever on the electric chair. The inmate screaming as sparks flew. That was the last straw as you both booked it from the room.

"This is not fun," you panted.

"I know when it's coming but it doesn't make it any less terrifying," Obi agreed keeping a better grip on you.

You both were only halfway through the house and there was several more areas to go through. You and Obi screamed and ran your way through a butcher shop, a devilish pet shop full of evil creatures for adoption, and a haunted abandoned school room, before the last obstacle loomed before you both. The Graveyard. There was the glorious glow of the exit light across the graveyard. Looking up at your brave and handsome captain, you both took the first step forward. That triggered the zombie apocalypse. The undead stepped from their foggy places, groaning and screaming at the sight of prey. A few were still stuck in their graves, reaching for your ankles as you stumbled by. Obi kept you upright, his chest heaving at the exertion and complete terror taking over his body. The movies always made zombies look slow, these were everything but. Rotten teeth glistening in the haunted sickly moonlight. It was beginning to feel like an eternity to that precious glow at the end, like a light at the end of a demented tunnel. You stumbled again and Obi took matters into his own hands. In one smooth motion you were lifted up again and pulled into the air. You had a moment of weightlessness until you landed in Obi's arms. He held you tightly gripping you to his well toned chest as his legs churned faster. He had kept his speed slower so you could keep up better, until he no longer had to worry about you tripping and falling. In seconds you both crossed the finished line. The zombies departed going back to their start positions to wait for the next victims through the door.

Though he carried you through the ending you both were panting hard. You looked up at Obi before starting to laugh. Despite still trying to catch his breath he began to laugh too.

"We survived," you joked.

Obi nodded pulling you in for a deep kiss.

Back at the station your friends were waiting for your return. They hounded you both with questions before Obi held out tickets for each one of them. After the torture they had caused making you go to the scariest thing in Tokyo, there was no way they were going to get away with it. Giving them the tickets and shoving them out the fire station door, Obi led you to your shared bedroom. He closed the door firmly turning the lock as his gaze darkened.

"Am I still getting nothing but tricks this evening," he purred nipping at your neck.

"Well you are my hero of the evening," you hummed, threading your fingers through his hair. "And you carrying me through that graveyard was pretty hot. I think you earned yourself a treat."

Obi chuckled, "Happy Halloween."

"Happy Halloween," you replied pulling him down for a sweet kiss.

[chaotic-on-main]

Chapter 8: June - Part 4 [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff. SPEAKING OF...

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

 That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’  You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.  

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

 ‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you. 

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.  

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

 “You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☆ Taglist ➼ @averysmolbear @humanitys-strongest-bamf @youre-ackermine @spaghettiyarns @notgoodforlife @roseofdarknessblog @missamity @icansmellsouls @dkbktk420 @romantichomicide95 @janey-stempy @sckerman @secretmoneybearvoid @sujiroses @jadam724 @e-riellaaa @kamyru @highgoon69 @kingkonoha @nube55 @missyasma

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☾ Previous Chapter: June Part 3

☾ Next Chapter: June Part 5 [Final]

[spicerackofblorbos]

Chapter 8: June - Part Four [NSFW]

☾ Pairings ➼ Levi Ackerman x fem!mute!Reader (she/her pronouns), set in a modern semi-fictional world

☾ Summary ➼ Due to childhood trauma, you find yourself an adult without the ability to speak. After years of working on it, you have found ways to live without a voice. Now here in your late 20s, you are 5 months in getting used to a new town. On a fateful day in late November, you and your adopted sister visit a local bookstore-café, unaware of the friendships about to blossom. Throughout the months, one friendship in particular develops into something more.

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, slowburn, oblivious feelings, romance, angst, mention of minor character deaths, trauma, illness, adoption, mentions of fire, disabilities, alcohol use, very light nsfw mentions, references to child abuse, smoking and alcohol abuse mentions, domestic violence, light assault, uhhh- sex? idk how to tag this kind of stuff.

☾ Author's note ➼ Hehe, hi! I bet y'all never thought you'd see this tag OR BANNER on here ever. Tbh, I thought I would never see this tag or banner on any of my writings. But uhhhh- here we are! If it isn't obvious, this is my first time EVER writing smut. I've never even written self-indulgent smut before because it is REALLY HARD FOR ME TO DO. That's mainly why this chapter took so long (I'M SORRY); I wanted to make sure it was perfect. If you're a minor and read the smut I will find you and cut you! Hehe. Anyways. Again, I am so sorry this chapter took so long!! I've hit quite a rut in my life and I'm just really glad to have gotten it done in the first place. Let me know what y'all think!! ALSO CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE PART LEFT HOLD ME I'M CRYING

☾ Word Count ➼ ~10.9k

The visual of Levi’s bewilderment haunts you just as much as the feeling of his lips on yours does. You’re not sure why you thought kissing your friend would be a good idea at all. Regret gnaws at you as you find yourself in a vicious cycle of rumination.

But it wasn’t all regret, was it? You wanted to kiss him. And you liked it.

Maybe it wasn’t regret at all, actually. What you really felt in your core was disappointment. At yourself for not thinking before acting and at him for not responding the way you inwardly hoped he would. If Levi’s cold shoulder this morning wasn’t proof enough, you don’t know what was.

“Love?” Hange’s voice cuts through the white noise reverberating through your skull. Slowly, you turn to where your sister currently sits with light green paste smeared all over their face. You blink the glassiness away and raise an eyebrow at them – which is a little hard to do as you have the same paste smudged on your face that is in the process of drying.

“Were you listening at all?” Concerned eyes bore into yours. You’d say you were thankful for the green tea facial that covers the dark circles under your lashes, but you knew Hange had noticed the moment they laid eyes on you today. They click their tongue and sit upright in your direction.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

‘What do you mean?’

“You look like you didn’t sleep a wink last night and you have been out of it all day. What are you thinking about?”

‘It’s nothing. Just had trouble sleeping.’

“You’re only restless when you have something on your mind.”

You stick your bottom lip out. In truth, you really did want to talk about it, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to say. Hange wasn’t the type to let things go when it came to you though, especially when you’re distressed. You’d need to say something now whether you liked it or not.

‘I like Levi.’ You sign quickly, averting your gaze from the piercing light-brown eyed stare burning holes in your face. You sigh softly and tuck your chin in the white fluffy robe that wraps around your body, ignoring the fact that you’re wiping the face mask off into the fabric as you do. It takes them a moment to realize you’re not planning on saying anything else.

“And that’s upsetting?” They laugh and relax back into the plush cushions. “That’s nothing new. I’ve known for a long time.”

Your eyes cut over to Hange again at that, wide in shock.

‘You knew? How? Since when?’

“I know when someone’s smitten. And you my darling? You are smitten like a kitten.” They roll their head in your direction as they speak, eyes sparkling. “Probably since February.”

Was it that early?

‘Can you be specific?’ You feel your face heat up from under the thick mask.

“If only you had a mirror. You should see the way you look at Levi. It’s so obvious, even Nanaba picked up on it.” They smirk as they twist in your direction, resting their chin on a hand that sits propped up on the armrest. A wide smile carved up and into their eyes.

“What happened last night anyways that made you discover this known secret?” Hange already knew, they had to have. Their demeanor changed from worried to curious in the blink of an eye.

‘Nothing.’ You sit back in a huff, closing your eyes.

You hear Hange sigh softly but doesn’t press for the next half hour. Your body sinks deeper into the plush massage chair as your head sits back on the head rest. Off to the side, you hear the soft babbling of the fountain piece that pairs wells with the gentle spa music that floats from the ceiling speakers down to your ears. Your brain wanders and you feel the heaviness that comes with sleep about to settle in.

“Excuse me?” A sudden voice startles you. You pop an eye open to see a spa employee in mint robes standing in front of the chairs you and Hange were relaxing in. “It’s time to move on to the hot pools, are you both ready?”

“Oh yes!! I’ve been looking forward to this part.” Hange exclaims, practically throwing themselves out of the chair.

.

The steamy mineral water stings your skin upon first contact. It wasn't uncomfortably hot, but it was close. It takes you a few seconds to get used to it and before you know it, you’re sinking low until your nose is submerged. Only your eyes and up show, like a crocodile floating as it hunts. You had put your hair up so that it wouldn’t get wet, but a few loose strands decide they want to get wet anyways as they float around your face.

Your sister, on the other hand, does not take the gentle approach. Before you know it, they’re running down the ramp ass naked. They throw themselves into the water when they get deep enough, throwing water straight in your face. Luckily, the pools are slotted out by appointments so it’s just the two of you in the small, enclosed room. They disappear for a second, submerged in the water leaving only ripples behind that float across the top.

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” Hange’s low voice comes from right next to you, causing your heart to skip a beat. Despite the unnerving crawl of your skin, you side eye them and shake your head.

Their words bounce around in your skull. If even Nanaba picked it up, that would mean Levi knew too, right? Is that why he brushed you off this morning? This wouldn’t be the first time that he’s held things back from you, but you hoped that had changed in the last handful of months. A fleeting thought of going to him first zooms through your mind and disappears just as quickly.

“Did he kiss you?” Hange’s voice is so close that you feel the heat of their breath blowing right against your ear. You push back from instinct, swatting the water and subsequently splashing them in the face.

“Oh my, he definitely did. Look at your face!” Hange muses as they tread up closer to your face and there’s half a foot between noses. You shove at the tops of their shoulders and blow them a raspberry. They were ever persistent.

‘If you must know, he didn’t kiss me.’ You’re suddenly focused on the waterspout sitting opposite of you on the wall.

“Damn. I was rea-“

‘I kissed him.’

“Wha-?! You?!”

Without another word, you turn your back on their open-mouthed stare and head for the sitting ledge in the back corner. Steam rises off your warm skin as you do, merging easily with the rest of the hot air. Hange follows, mumbling under their breath as they process the news. When you twist to sit down, you’re face to face with Hange as they squat into the water across from you.

“I’m guessing by your reactions, it didn’t go well?”

‘He pulled away and gave me a weird look.’

“What did he say after?”

You don’t answer that, instead you slide into the water until you’re halfway submerged again. The hot water tingles against your raw face, making you wince until the uncomfortable feeling subsides. A few bubbles burst on the surface from your released huff.

“You didn’t give him a chance to, did you?” They raise an eyebrow at you. The amusement that tugged at their features melted away to reveal concern. You raise your hands out of the water, water droplets falling back in with little splashes.

‘He pulled away quickly and gave me a look that didn’t really scream “yay”. What was I supposed to do?’

“Sit and talk to him like the adult you are?” More bubbles pop at the surface as your eyes narrow at them.

‘What if he doesn’t want to talk? Or even see me? Or be my friend anymore?’

“Well, did he kiss back?”

‘I don’t know. I can’t remember. A lot was happening.’

“I imagine he did. He likes you too, you know.”

You roll your eyes at that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. But that doesn’t change the shocked expression that he stared at you with before you ran off for the night. You feel the pressure of his lips on your mouth again and it makes your heart skip a beat. How confusing this all was.

“Want me to make him talk to you?” Hange says with a smirk on their lips.

‘Don’t even think about it. He’ll just kill both of us.’ You flick water in their direction at which they chuckle at it.

“Just give it some time, you’ll figure it out. But probably not too much time because this was a friend group before you both decided to catch feelings and I will not have this group break apart because you both want to be teenagers about it all.” They shrug their shoulders at that.

‘What happens if we never talk again?’

“Not allowed. I’ll lock you two in a room if I have to. Oh wait, maybe I should do that? Then you’ll either talk, fight, or kiss again.” They ramble on, tapping a forefinger on their chin as they think. Their eyes shoot over to yours, wide and full of excitement.

“If you both start dating, it’s for the long run by the way. Marriage or nothing. I can’t risk the friend group falling apart.” They joke. Part of you thinks there’s a bit of truth in their words but you let it slide. The prospect of marriage though? Was it your face heating up at the thought or the hot water?

You give them an exasperated look despite it all, offering them a thumbs down as well.

“I’m only half joking. You and him will figure something out eventually. Who knows, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding! You’re shy and he’s… well. Him. Maybe you just need to make the first move.” They offer you a small smile, their eyes softening again.

 That fleeting thought from earlier comes back. Again, Hange’s words held some truth as they always do. You already made the first move and that didn’t work out the way you planned. But If Levi didn’t know to come to you, maybe you would have to open that door for him, granted he doesn’t slam it in your face. You decide you’ll do what you can to pull him aside tonight.

.

Much to your dismay, the appointment ends too quickly. Fortunately, Hange kept up with their promise of taking you shopping since there were a few hours until it was time to meet up with the boys who were no doubt still out golfing. You laugh at the idea of Levi standing on the greens with a signature bored expression, but then you remember you were supposed to be anxious. You don’t know what you’re going to say to him.

After a while, you forget your worries for a time. Hange finds a really nice pantsuit that frames their tall body well. You found a simple sundress that frills out on your waist in a color that your sister exclaimed matched your eyes so well. And it was nice being able to chat, that feeling of dread that coursed through your veins like ice forgotten.

That is until you’re standing in front of Levi with your hands twisting in each other – a nervous habit you picked up just recently. The fabric of your dress feels like it’s digging into your skin as you stand awkwardly, your heart feeling as if it might explode. He doesn’t even look your way, eyes glued to his phone as he mindlessly scrolls. The idea of getting him to talk to you falters.

He's wearing a slate gray dress shirt in a complementary shade for his eyes. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows neatly. The rest of his outfit is clean yet casual and perfect for the place Erwin had reserved. Some of his hair falls in his face as he continues to look down, ignoring the fact that Erwin was calling everyone to attention.

“Are we ready to go? The taxi is here.” Erwin gives you and Hange a once over when he looks up from his phone. “Wow, you both look like you had a good day - practically glowing.” He gives you a beaming smile and you force one back in return, feeling the quivering of your muscles as your lips pull back.

Levi glances up finally and his dark eyes scan the room. When they land on you, they linger for a second longer before he looks away as he pulls himself up from the barstool. You did not miss the subtle surprise that flashed across his face as well as his eyes flickering down to the sakura necklace you put back on for this evening. You had taken it off the last few days to keep it safe, something you were not used to doing before. You almost sighed in relief when you felt the familiar and subtle weight around your neck again.

The car ride to the restaurant was fortunately short but to you, it was agonizing the whole time. Erwin opted for the front seat to help direct the driver so that left you, Hange, and Levi in the back. Your sister forced you in the middle and they claimed it was for safety reasons but you knew better.

Your almost bare thigh sits against Levi’s after you all piled in, snug as can be. You pull your arms together so that you’re not squishing into Levi any more than you have to. He’s facing the window, arm propped up and leaning against it as he looks out. You spend the whole ride rehearsing what you wanted to say to him.

When the taxi parks in front of the restaurant, you take a deep breath. It was now or never, you tell yourself. You force yourself out of Levi’s side after he slides out, having to push the door as he almost shuts it in your face.

You’re able to reach far enough to grab his wrist to make him stop and he spins on you quickly, eyes flaring with annoyance – barely softening when he notices it’s you. It takes all of your strength to keep your fingers latched on to him despite the look on his face. After a moment, he helps you out of the car with that same hand, making sure to keep you steady as you almost trip on the curb.

‘Can we talk?’  You sign quickly.

He considers you, eyebrows pinched the way they do.

“Tch. We don’t have time, Hange and Erwin are waiting for us.” He finally grumbles back, eyes aimed at the retreating figures now walking through the double glass doors. He turns on his heels and leaps up the stairs, leaving you and your hurt feelings at the bottom.

So much for trying.

Even in your sour mood, you still appreciate how beautiful the restaurant is from the outside. It’s very high end with a large crystal chandelier peeping out of the tall windows that make up the majority of the front wall. The railings of both sides of the stairs are adorned with growing vines and colorful flowers. A simple sign in neat cursive hangs above the front doors, reading ‘La Crevette’. You raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing before making your way into the air-conditioned interior alone.

The inside is even better. The gold inlay that decorates the white marble adds a delicate and elegant tone. On the walls sit ceiling high mirrors that you can’t help but stare in as your eyes scan the new surroundings. You catch Levi’s eyes in the reflection before he turns away to follow the hostess who is now leading you all to your designated table.

To say that the atmosphere at the table was so tense you could cut it with a knife would have been an understatement. You find yourself sitting across from Levi - at least 5 feet away. The chill emanating from him makes you shiver and you wish you had brought a jacket with you.

Orders were already taken so now you sit in silence as Hange and Erwin compare the activities they both did today. Levi’s fingers drum against the clothed table as he stares out the window to the left of you. It looks out into the ocean, the setting sun painting the sky, those beautiful oranges and pinks that you liked so much. You fidget with the napkin that sits across your lap in tight fingers as you stare. Erwin calls your name.

“So how did you like the spa? Did they take care of you as well?” His clear eyes stare into yours with interest.

You smile politely and nod, signing along saying ‘They did, it was quite luxurious. Thank you for setting it up for us.’ He smiles back and chuckles.

“Hange said the baths were really nice. We might have to stop by one before we leave town, huh Levi?” The attention is now diverted onto a very bored looking Levi. He only hums in response, shrugging his shoulders as well.

‘You look like you got quite a bit of sun today.’ Your smile wavers as you eye him. There’s a soft flush across his cheeks as well as his nose and forehead. His gaze flickers up to you and you think you spot conflict in his steely eyes.

“I forgot a hat.” He says back, his curt tone a little too sharp for you. You pretend to not hear it. Your eyes fall onto your water glass after that, Hange and Erwin going back to talking about the other things they did today.

By the time dinner comes and disappears, the tense atmosphere barely stagnates. You sense Erwin and Hange can feel it too, but they don’t say anything. The only things you’re given are looks, ranging from curiosity to what you imagine is understanding. You don’t blame them though, this is really something that you and Levi need to hash out. Anxiety gnaws at your chest as you continue to pull on the thin fabric of your dress.

Eventually, the waiter comes with the check and hands it over to Erwin per his request - you all knew better than to argue with him about it. When Erwin hands the black book back with his card of choice, the waiter takes it and leans over to start gathering dishes out of the way. As he reaches from behind you, the feeling of his sleeve brushing against the side of your neck makes you stiffen up. When he pulls away, a small pop resonates by your ear.

The lack of weight around your neck is instantaneous. You watch in silent horror at your favorite necklace plopping into your lap softly. Everything goes quiet as you pick up the chain in shaky fingers, almost losing the sakura pendant as you do. The sight of the delicate golden chain now broken in a place that would not be an easy fix makes you feel like someone is stepping on your chest - crushing you.

You feel hot tears rolling down your face and you blink hard a few times. You’re in too much shock to make a sound. The waiter’s incessant apologies come muffled as realization dawns on you. You should have kept it tucked away and safe. You shouldn’t have kissed Levi. This necklace is you and Levi right now. Broken necklace, broken friendship. Your fault. All of it is your fault.

Placing it on the table gently, you force another sweet smile, one that closes your eyes and you feel more tears pressing out as you do.

‘I’m going to get some air.’ You sign.

Before anyone can protest, you push your chair out and away from the table, bumping into the still apologizing waiter. You sign a few hard apologies yourself before running down the ramp to the host station and out the front doors. Your feet take off down the street in the direction of the condo, tears streaming still but not a single sob escaping your lips.

A hand closes around your wrist, the force of your speed almost knocking you back as someone holds you still. The firm grip is telling enough that you don’t have to look around to see who it is, but you do anyway. Levi is out of breath from running after you, chest heaving and hair windswept.

“Where are you going?” His voice is stern and laced with annoyance.

You only shake your head in response, still feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks and off your chin. You have no energy left for a fake smile and his subtle annoyance feels like another knife in the chest. You’re not sure if it was the exhaustion, the necklace, or Levi, but you feel inexplicable rage boiling over. Ripping your arm out of his grip, you start signing roughly.

‘Why are you here?’

“I’m worried about you. You’re upset.” His steely eyes cut into yours, narrowing.

‘You could have fooled me. It seems to me you want nothing to do with me, ignoring me the way you have all day. What do you want?’ He flinches at that, surprised by your less than normal aggression.  

“I-I’m sorry. I just don’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and out of his face. He stumbles through his words, something you’ve never seen him do. But you can’t think about that right now, your patience is thinning and you can’t face him if he still refuses to acknowledge the hurt he’s dealt to you even if he didn’t realize it.

‘‘I can’t fix it.’ You sign shakily, fingers fumbling over each other.

“I’ll take a look at it. And if it’s not fixable, I can just get you a new one.” It dawns on you that Levi doesn’t understand, and you’re not certain if he ever did.

‘I’m not talking about the necklace, Levi!’ You’re in the middle of the sidewalk slamming your hands together as people rush past you two. As always, it feels as if it’s just you and Levi and everyone else are blurring streaks in the background. This time, it doesn’t feel as pleasant.

He doesn’t say anything back, choosing to stare with his lips parted as if he wanted to.

‘Why won’t you just talk to me? I thought you trusted me with yourself.’

“I do. Trust you, I mean.”

‘Then talk to me!’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘Right.’ You don’t give Levi a chance to refute as you turn around swiftly and start off in the direction of the condo, head hung low as you do your best to sniffle quietly. Fortunately, no one looks your way as you shuffle down the sidewalk.

Different layers of pain pile on your shoulders and you’re not sure how you’re going to get out from under them. The worst of them all seems to seep into your heart in a heavy way, weighing you down so much that you’re surprised you make it back to the elevator of the condo without collapsing. When the doors shut in front of you, you allow yourself to finally fall apart like you’ve been wanting to all day, sobs racking from deep within your chest.

.

The moment you get into the bedroom, you slam the door behind you and prep for bed. The lingering sunlight filters through the room, painting the room gold. You didn’t care what time it was, you just knew you were ready to pass out from the day.

As you loosen your hair from the multitude of pins sticking in it, you stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot, the skin around them puffy. At least you don’t have to do much since your tears broke down most of the makeup already, only needing the gentle swipe of a cloth. The moment after you slip on your sleepwear, you toss yourself into the soft sheets of your temporary bed and curl in on yourself.

The hurt from last night comes back tenfold. Only this time, frustration burns under your skin. Before you know it, nightmares come to you in the form of dark slate grays.

The next time your eyes open, they’re met with darkness. You’re not sure if the moon decided to stay away or if the clouds had rolled in during your slumber, but regardless your vision is pitch-black. Soft snoring to your right indicates that Hange had made it back and is currently deep in sleep. You vaguely recall hearing them calling out to you when they came back shortly after you fell asleep.

Rolling onto your back, you are greeted with the dim red light from the alarm clock illuminating the ceiling. You imagine it’s quite late in the night considering how refreshed you feel despite the lingering melancholy from dinner.

With a huff, you sit up and swing your legs off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cool, hard floor and you make quick yet quiet work of sneaking out of the bedroom. You know Hange could sleep through anything, but you did not want to suffer on the off-chance they woke up – you were not prepared to face them right now.

After closing the bedroom door, you pad over to the fridge and pull it open. The only drink options were a couple of beers and a handful of caffeinated sodas. You wish you had a cup of Levi’s tea in your hands, but instead you opt for water from the filtered pitcher. After taking a tentative sip of it, you decide that going back to sleep was not an option for you. You kick yourself for potentially screwing up your sleep schedule for the rest of the trip but that was a problem for future you.

With a cold glass in hand, you step over to the plush couch and sink into it. Grabbing the remote in the other, you turn it on and flinch as you’re met with a loud commercial about an action movie coming out soon. Quickly, you turn the volume down to one and sit still as you listen for any sounds of your roommates – luckily it stays silent. You sigh softly.

You pull over a blanket from the other side of the couch and tuck yourself in. You let your mind wander for a bit as a random movie starts to play, the low volume buzzing in the background. Thankfully, your thoughts stay away from Levi. That is, until you watch as a teacup is placed down on the glass coffee table in front of you with a clink as well as delicate fingers pulling away from the handle.

Blinking the glassiness from your vision, your eyes trail up the muscular arm that belongs to a weary-eyed Levi. His gaze shifts away quickly as he lowers himself on the other side of the couch as far as possible from you. He lifts his own teacup to his lips and takes a small sip, eyes forward on the movie ahead.

He doesn’t say anything to you, which you’re not certain if you should be grateful for, or annoyed. You were thinking about wanting some of his tea earlier, but now that it’s here, you’re torn between indulging him or not. As your eyes narrow on the steam that rises off the amber liquid, Levi pipes up finally.

“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He mumbles. You flicker your eyes over to him, but his gaze stays glued to the TV in front.

You let out a soft huff and reach for it, taking the handle in between two fingers and pulling it up to your mouth. Upon the first sip, you withhold a sigh of content. Levi always knew how to make a mean cup of tea. But you won’t say that to him right now. You’re still fuming, tea or no. With that thought, you down it the best you can despite the scorching heat of it as it burns itself down to the pit of your stomach.

You stand when you’ve finished, placing the cup back onto the saucer and then turning around to fold the blanket back up. The space is turning tense by the second and you don’t want to deal with this right now. After placing the blanket on the armrest, you reach down to grab your tea set as well as Levi’s, but his hand stops you as his fingers close around your wrist once again.

“Stay. Please? I want to talk.” You side eye him, noting the nervousness in his eyes. If it wasn’t for that, you would have stormed off. For once, it seems Levi is ready to talk, and whether you were ready or not, you needed to listen.

Setting the saucers back down, you sit on the other side of the couch again, facing him with your arms placed over your chest. Only now do you realize you’re still in a nightgown that barely covers your ass and no bra. Trying to be natural about it, you grab the pillow that sits in the middle of the cushion and pull it to your chest to cover up.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” He rubs the back of his neck as he watches you. His anxiety looks like it’s about to overflow.

‘Is that really all you want to talk about? Small talk?’

“No! Of course not.” He grumbles. He mirrors you, folding his arms across his chest. He’s getting defensive again.

‘Then what do you want?’ You click your tongue in annoyance.

“I don’t know wha-…” He falters.

‘You do know what you want. You just won’t say it.’

“It’s not that simple.”

‘But you know, don’t you? What is holding you back? What is making this so difficult for you to talk to me?’ Your signs come out more forceful than you meant.

His arms fall into his lap as his focus darts to the tv off to the side. You eye him warily and purse your lips while you wait for him to continue, which he does after sighing heavily in frustration.

“I’m afraid, okay? I’ve never felt so conflicted about stuff like this before. But I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you all day. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, I just didn’t know how to face you. Or what to even say to you.”

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, shifting his gaze back to your face.

The look in his eyes is chock-full of anxiety and panic. Your fingers are flying before you can stop them. The strong walls of anger you had put up for protection start crumbling away, making room for disappointment as well as regret for making him feel this way.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m sorry to have caused you so much strife.’ You bite the inside of your cheek.

Levi scoffs at that, his gray eyes cutting over to you, narrowing. He doesn’t say anything right away, instead using this moment to shift on the couch until his knees are against his chest as he faces you a couple feet away. 

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispers finally, dark eyes piercing into yours.

‘You’ve been brushing me off all day. It’s because I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. You hate me. And you regret it even now.’ You feel the tears from earlier start to well again, but you refuse to let them spill in front of Levi.

“Why would I hate you?”

‘I just feel like I ruined our friendship with my actions, and you wouldn’t talk to me about it so I also feel like you want nothing to do with me because of it.’

“I don’t hate you.” He mutters, eyes shifting away before jumping back to yours. “I could never hate you.”

‘Then why won't you talk to me?’

Levi gets up abruptly and starts pacing back and forth in front of you with his shaky fingers raking through his hair. The anxiety radiating off him is palpable.

“It’s hard to put into words.” Levi says simply. A scowl appears as he pinches the bridge of his nose between fingers. He continues to pace, eyes half closed as he mutters to himself. You hear something about ‘not being used to this’ and ‘being blindsided’.

You lean forward and grab his pant leg with tight fingers. His sweatpants’ waistband slides down his hip from the sudden force of your grip, immobilizing him unless he wanted them pulled down any further. His steely eyes snap to your troubled expression and he softens immediately, hands dropping to his sides.

‘Just try.’ You give him your best pleading eyes, bottom lip jutting out as far as it can go.

Levi side eyes you as you hold him in place, his lips pinched into a thin line. He opens his mouth as he attempts to figure out what he wanted to say next. It takes a few tries but eventually, he settles on the last thing you’d expected him to say. It’s like his naturally stoic demeanor melts into something completely unrecognizable – not like you were complaining.

“When you kissed me, it was like I understood everything and nothing at the same time. I was so confused.” Levi mutters under his breath, sitting back down on the couch but this time on the cushion closest to you. His thigh brushes up against your knees, sending tingles up your spine from the sudden contact.

“Ever since you’ve stumbled back into my life, I couldn’t understand why you were always on my mind. I think I do now.” He continues without missing a beat. “I think I’ve always cherished you in some capacity, just in different stages.” Levi places his face in his hands that were propped up against his knees. After a few seconds, his head turns to you with a familiar expression. The way he looks at you reminds you of the little boy next door all those years ago.

“Leeeeeviii!!” You yell as you bound down the front steps without a care in the world. Your brother and Levi currently sit on the lawn, messing around with their action figures who were currently in a heated battle. In your excitement, you completely miss the bottom step and stumble down onto your hands and knees, rough concrete digging into your skin.

The wails that come out of you are loud enough that the dogs across the street start barking. A pair of hands are on you in an instant, helping to pull you up and onto the bottom step that had caused you so much trouble in the first place.

“I’ll go get some bandages.” Your brother says in a panic, running up the stairs and back in the house you had just come out of.

“You’re okay, it’s just some scratches.” You look up through blurry lashes to see Levi staring at your bleeding knees. You’re not going to bleed out, but crimson is trickling down your legs and it’s enough to make you cry harder.

Levi takes your little hands into his slightly bigger ones and inspects them. He brushes off the small gravel that had embedded itself into your skin, his tongue stuck between his teeth in focus. You observe him as best as you can despite the salty water obscuring your vision. Levi’s eyelashes flutter across his cheeks as he turns your hands over to get a better look at them.

“Not cut, just a little dirty. Nothing that can’t be fixed.” He says softly to you. Blue-gray eyes look up into yours and you realize you stopped crying. He offers you a lopsided grin as he squeezes your hand a few times.

“See? Not broken. You’ll be okay.”

He was always so calm with you. You shoot him a toothy grin while squeezing his hand back a few times. So calm. So safe.

“Levi, I’m never letting you go.”

You laugh at the sudden memory that flashes before your vision. You’re grateful for Levi in many ways, despite the fact he made you mad sometimes. Memory recovery was one of the reasons why. Levi’s eyes widen at your sudden outburst.

“What?”

‘Remember when I ate shit outside of my house when we were kids?’

He hesitates as he thinks.

“Which time?” His lips twitch at his comment and you realize it probably wasn’t the first time you had fallen. You appreciate your resilient nature as a kid, taking note of the small scars that probably decorated your knees even to this day.

‘Levi, I think there’s always been a part of me that’s always felt safe with you. And, I think having a future without you in it, no matter what that means, isn’t something I want to see. So, I think that’s why I was so torn up about this. The idea of you leaving just tears me apart.’

Levi sits up at your confession, staring at you in curiosity. There’s a new look of assurance on his face as he eyes you. A pink flush creeps up his neck and into his cheekbones as he focuses back on the colorful screen ahead.

“I don’t have any plans to leave.” He mutters.

There’s more silence, only cut up by the voices on the television and distant crashing of waves from down below. You watch him closely as he blinks slowly, propping his chin up in both arms that sit against his thighs. Before you can sign again, he speaks softly.

“I don’t regret it.” He side-eyes you, as if he were afraid to face you for such a statement.

‘What do you mean you don’t regret it?’

“It means I don’t regret that you kissed me.”

‘Did you want me to kiss you?’

Silence.

“You should probably get some sleep. I’m sure tomorrow will be just as exhausting. We can talk more then.” Levi says quietly, changing the subject.

You narrow your eyes at him, annoyed he would close up after so much progress. But then a yawn so big escapes your mouth and you shove your face into the pillow you were still hugging until it’s done. When you look back up, you see Levi watching you in amusement before his expression changes into indifference quickly. Maybe this would be best saved for the next day when you were both awake.

‘What about you?’

“I don’t sleep much, you know that. I’ll be okay.” He shrugs his shoulders as he gets up from the sofa. He reaches for the remote and turns off the tv then carefully places it back on the coffee table. Then he turns around to offer you a hand which you take, still hugging the pillow to your chest. He raises an eyebrow at that but turns on his heel to head to his bedroom. With a soft sigh, you place the pillow back and follow him down the hallway to your room.

The need to figure out what was going through his mind was strong, but your exhaustion hits harder. As you pass the kitchen, you note the time was about to hit five in the morning which means you have been up for a while. Despite the amount of sleep from earlier, you feel your body giving in to the heaviness of fatigue – no doubt a consequence of having such a taxing day.

You watch as Levi stops outside of his door, right hand gripping the doorknob in white knuckles. As you pass him, you reach over and place your hand on top of his. When his eyes fall on you, you offer a small smile.

 ‘What’s wrong?’

Before you can pull away, Levi says your name and stares over at you with longing.

“What am I to you?”

With shaky hands, you sign back, ‘What would you like to be, Levi?’ Adrenaline courses through your veins like lava at the sudden question.

“Yours.” It’s so soft, barely audible. And yet so full of conviction.

Levi looks down at your lips quickly before jumping back up to your eyes. In a swift motion, he releases the doorknob and grabs your hand, pulling you in closer to him with sudden force. His gaze is as firm as the grip on you, holding you in place. When he speaks again, his words come out measured.

“You’re right, I do know what I want. My answer is yours. I want to be yours.”

Your eyes widen at the sudden confession, and you stare at him with your lips parted in surprise. As if time slowed down, just like in the elevator, Levi tilts your chin in his direction - pinching it gently between his thumb and index finger. He leans in slowly, his eyes staring into yours as he wavers inches away. Levi is so close to you that his hot breath hits your face, and you smell hints of his black tea and traces of pine.

“And I want to kiss you. Is that okay?” You nod, dazed by his proximity.

Carefully, his mouth meets yours and you instantly distinguish the difference between this kiss and the one in the elevator. This one is hesitant, nervous. But traces of ravenous hunger linger as an aftertaste.

That same heat blazes from your face all the way down to your toes. Levi’s fingers move from your chin to right under your jaw, tilting your face into him even more. After a moment, he breaks away granting you a moment to catch your breath. His face is still inches from yours, gray eyes fluttering closed as your forehead rests against his. Your name tumbles out of his mouth, almost like a beg.

“I need to know.” He pulls away from you, the air around you instantly turning cold from the lack of his presence. “Will you let me?”

‘Let you what, Levi?’ You know what he wants, but you just want to hear him say it again. And again and again and again.

“Let me be yours.” Your smile would have blinded the whole world.

‘Mine.’

He leans in again, cupping your whole face in his calloused hand and locking his lips back over yours. The hunger intensifies just like the buzzing throughout your whole system. You open your mouth slightly to let his tongue in to explore and it does, eliciting a quiet moan from you. You swear you hear Levi growl in response. Oh, how touch starved you two were for each other.

As if in sync, Levi opens the bedroom door and you both stumble still lip-locked into his room. He pushes you up against the door, shutting it behind you. If you weren’t so lost in the kiss, you would have been worried by how loud the slam must have been. Levi presses up against you more, sandwiching you between the heat of his body and the cool wooden door behind you. You already feel how hard he is under his sweatpants.

You’re more inexperienced than most so there’s hesitation in your kiss – something Levi picks up on quickly. He pulls away but leaves his hands on your face as he looks at you with apprehension.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight.” He whispers to you. His voice is as sincere as it always is, albeit husky. You place a hand over his that sits on your face, leaning into it as you do before signing back.

‘I want all of you.’ You offer a loving smile, wide and full of adoration for the man in front of you. Levi’s eyes bounce back and forth between yours as if searching for something. He finds nothing but pure truth.

Levi’s lips crash back onto yours, careful but just as heated. As his marred lips leave and make their way down your neck, one of your hands slides up his chest to his undercut until your fingers find what they were looking for, tangling in his raven hair.

The moment you feel his teeth pinch your soft skin, another moan comes out louder than before. Having him pressed up against you like that, the outline of his cock pressing into your stomach, you start to feel your patience slowly unraveling.

Your nervousness flies out the window. This was Levi, you had no reason to worry. Levi is safe to you. He would take care of you as he always does. And you would do the same. The thought makes you smile up at the ceiling. Before you know it, your hands push against Levi’s soft skin, and he pulls away quickly. Worry pools into his dark eyes as he watches you carefully.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs hoarsely.

Instead of signing back, you force him to step back towards the bed with your palm pressed against his chest until the back of his knees hit the edges of the mattress. The force alone makes him lurch back so that he falls back onto the soft duvet, catching himself on his hands so that he’s sitting up.

In a swift motion, you straddle his hips, and your lips find solace on his mouth yet again. You don’t hesitate to push your tongue through to taste him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him more.

You don’t mean to, but you find your hips grinding on to him, the only barriers between your already soaked self and Levi being the clothes you wish were off. The pressure and friction against your very sensitive core make you pull away for breath. Levi’s soft grunts are music to your ears and his lips start trailing back down your neck, his teeth finding purchase in your soft skin yet again. His fingers slide up your back, pulling your night dress up with it.

Then a groan comes out of his clenched teeth, full of frustration.

Levi pulls away again and stares up at you with heavy-lidded eyes full of impatience. You note that pink flush of his that you love so much, deeper in color and painting across his cheeks. As you stare down at him, you come to love this version of Levi and you want nothing but to see his face contort at the way you grinded into him. But he places his hands on your hips to keep you still, much to your dismay. You watch him carefully as he speaks, his voice husky.

“I-uh. I want this, I do. But we need to be safe. And I didn’t bri-“ He averts his gaze, staring at the corner of the bed. You were so lost in the exhilaration of it all, you didn’t think about it. A thick appreciation for him crashes over you because his cautious nature, even if it did slightly kill the heat of the moment.

‘Give me a second. I can help with this. Stay here.’ You give him a chaste kiss before sliding off his lap and out the door quickly. You tiptoe your way back to your room, making sure the only sounds that can be heard are the clock ticking on the wall and the muffled continuous crashing of waves just outside.

When you slip into your room, you see Hange flat on their back with their hair tousled everywhere. Soft snores escape their lips, a telltale sign they are out like a light. Hange wasn’t promiscuous in the slightest, but they weren’t closed minded either. And with that, it meant they stayed prepared.

You creep over to their unorganized suitcase where clothes were strewn all over the place. Reaching into the top compartment, your fingers feel the sharp edges of a foil package and slip it out. You blush to yourself as you think back to Levi’s outline as you make sure it’s the right size.

A snort from behind you makes you freeze in place, breath hitched as you sit crouching in silence. A moment passes. Another minute. Hange’s snores fill the room again and you let loose your held breath, shoulders sagging. You’re sure this conversation would come up again later, but you didn’t want to deal with it right now. Especially with Levi waiting for you.

It takes you next to no time to slip out of your room and back into Levi’s, closing his door with a soft click. Turning around, you show him the condom in between pinched fingers and smile widely to Levi who was still sitting on the edge of the bed for you.

“Did you come prepared?” He raises an eyebrow at the glittering foil.

‘No, but Hange do-‘

“I don’t need to know any more.” Levi blurts out, hands up in defeat. A silent laugh shakes your shoulders as you make your way back over to him. You fling the package onto the bed before straddling him again, noting how hard he was underneath you still.

‘Now where were we?’ You sign with a small smile. Levi smirks and places his hand against your cheek, his thumb tracing your bottom lip gently. You playfully nip at him, and he huffs in amusement.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, you know that?” He asks you softly before pulling your face into his and locking his lips on yours. It’s a saccharine-laced kiss. His hands find your hips again, lowering until they are fully on your ass, and they squeeze. A squeak escapes into his mouth as he does, and it just makes his grip on your skin tighter.

Pulling away, you grip his t-shirt from the bottom and start tugging it up. Levi leans back so you can pull it up and over his head, discarding it on the bed next to him. Your hands trail down his toned chest and abs, his skin burning under your touch. It’s soft despite the hard muscles underneath them. Your mouth finds his again as your hands explore, not hesitating to slip your tongue into Levi’s already parted lips.

Your hands find their way back in his hair, fingers entwining through the fine strands. You can’t help it – you tug gently, and a small whine comes out of his pouty lips as he’s pulled away from your mouth. Something inside you burns and again you feel your razor thin patience cutting at you. 

As if Levi reads your mind, he wraps an arm around your back while leaving his other hand cupping your ass and stands up effortlessly. In a mere moment, he turns around with you in his strong arms and then gently tosses you on to the bed. A soft laugh escapes you as you land. Everything around you smells like Levi.  

Levi stands at the foot of the bed and stares down at you ravenously, a look you don’t think you’ve ever seen on anyone outside of the movies on your television screen. You sit up on your elbows and watch as he gets on the bed and slowly makes his way on top of you. He meets your lips with his own as his body hovers over yours, his fingers lightly trailing up your arms resulting in goosebumps following in their wake.

Slowly, you lie back down flush to the mattress, his knees digging into the sheets on either side of your thighs. Levi’s lips start to slide down your jaw which gives you some space to breathe but your breaths quickly turn into soft whimpers as his fingers lightly trace across your lower abdomen. His other hand snakes around the back of your neck, supporting it as he starts planting more soft kisses down it.

 “You can stop me at any time, okay?” Levi whispers, his hot breath tickling your neck. You nod, only wishing you had your voice to say his name and tell him you wanted him. As long as he was with you, you would always want him.

Levi’s hand that was teasing your waist makes its way back up to the lacy lining that adorns the edge of your nightdress, long fingers tugging down the thin fabric that holds your breasts in place. You’re glad Levi isn’t watching your face because you are multiple shades of embarrassment.

But Levi doesn’t say anything, instead he takes a breast in hand and massages it gently as his kisses start trailing down past your collarbone. Before you know it, his soft lips clamp around your already very sensitive nipple, eliciting a loud moan from you. You can’t help but dig your nails into the firm muscles of his back in response, dragging them down as Levi bites down gently. An exhale of hot air blows out of Levi’s mouth against your skin when you do that, a small grunt escaping with it.

You feel the absence of his lips immediately as his lips leave and the wetness left behind leaves your skin defenseless against the cool air. Levi softly kisses back up your sternum then pulls away, leaning forward on both hands that now sit on each side of your face. His tousled hair falls forward, creating shadows across his face as he stares down with that same hungry look, only this time it’s tinted with pure amazement.

“Still okay?” He whispers down to you.

You blink up at him and swallow hard. You were more than okay but as always, your words fail you. Instead, you nod and the hands that once dragged down his back are now trailing down his chest again. The feeling of his skin against yours sends electricity through your whole body, and you want more. You need more. Your hands flatten against right above his rapidly beating heart as you do your best to give him a look that conveys ‘more’.

“I’ve got you.” Those were the words he had muttered down to you the day before as you fell asleep in his arms on the beach. It wasn’t just cherishment that he held for you; it was deeper than that. Hange’s words from earlier flit through your mind, only briefly. How could you not have fully noticed until now?

He leans down and places his lips back on yours, soft and sweet. As your lips lock on to his, you feel his feather light touch trace back down to the elastic band of your underwear. But instead of teasing you like he had before, you feel his fingers dip under the cloth and further down to…

Any other thoughts racing through your mind cease to exist as his delicate fingers slide down your slick folds. You don’t mean to moan as loud as you do and fortunately Levi’s mouth muffles it for you. He hums in response to your reactions, smiling into the kiss.

Levi’s lips graze back down to just under your ear as his fingers rub small circles around your clit eliciting more moans from you. Your labored breaths fill the space as the white-hot heat from his touch reverberates throughout your whole body, tingling down to the tips of your toes. He whispers your name under a heavy breath, mutterings of how beautiful you are to him floating up to your ear. All sweet words mirror the moans you made.

You reach down to Levi’s hardened bulge that currently fights against the stretched fabric of his joggers. Your fingers close around him as much as they can through the thick cloth. Upon contact, Levi’s breath hitches. You give him a gentle squeeze resulting in a guttural groan that comes through his clenched teeth.

In response, his touch burns deep into your core as he carefully pushes a digit into your warm entrance, the palm of his hand applying pressure onto your swollen clit as he does. His movements are gentle as he pumps it in and out slowly, and you feel his finger curving up into a spot so good your toes curl. The euphoria turns into building heat, and you know what’s about to happen - but you wanted more. You wanted him now more than ever and this was not enough. More, more, more.

A soft whine comes out of you as your fingers tighten around him. A light huff tickles against your skin – Levi’s way of chuckling.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He mumbles, his lips finding your earlobe and nipping at it gently. Reaching over with your other hand, you place your hand against his cheek and pull him up to you, planting your lips right onto his. It’s a hungry kiss, one conveying you were ready for him. You love him, you want him. You need him.

With that, Levi withdraws his hand and slides himself off you and the bed. You sit up and watch as he tugs down his pants along with his boxers. You knew what was coming and yet you couldn’t stop the blood rushing to your cheeks in shy embarrassment. You look away, staring at the ceiling as you hear Levi pick his clothes up including the shirt you threw on the bed, and then place them neatly on the dresser behind him. Your name quietly tumbles out his lips for your attention.

When you look up at him, you see him offering a hand to you. Your eyes flicker down for a mere second before going back up to Levi’s soft gaze. You feel as if you could faint on the spot.

Instead, you push yourself closer to the edge of the bed and take Levi’s hand. In a delicate flourish, you’re in his arms again and he pulls you in for another deep, lingering kiss. His fingers bunch at the bottom of your night dress and start lifting it up. You let him, pulling away enough so he can get the soft fabric up and over your head. He folds it and turns to place it next to his pants. When he circles back on you, he takes a moment to observe your half-naked self.

Being in your thin bathing suit was one thing, but to be standing there as the cool air conditioning drifted across your unprotected self was in a whole other universe. You shift your weight awkwardly and twist your arms together as you avert your gaze to the piled-on dresser.

Levi steps closer to you and takes both of your arms in a gentle grip and pulls them away from each other so that you’re exposed to him. You force your gaze on him despite how nervous you were to be in front of him. Levi’s dark eyes trail down your body but not in an ogling kind of way – he watches you with wonder.

“You’re just so beautiful. Every part of you.” He releases your arms, and his hands are back on you, sliding down your waist and landing on your hips. His fingers leave a trail of tingles. “I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me. Is that okay?” He whispers to you, pulling you by the hips into him. The length of his hardened self presses against your bare stomach as he does.

You sign that same simple word, ‘Mine’.

With that, Levi gently pushes you down into the bed with a hard kiss, leaning into you until your back is pressed against the mattress. He loops his fingers into the sides of your panties and tugs them down your legs, pulling away from you yet again to place them next to the rest of the discarded clothes. At that moment, he takes the time to rip a corner off the metallic package with his teeth, the foil discarded onto the dresser once done.

He grabs your hips again, this time pulling you flush to the edge of the bed as he stands at the foot of it. His hand makes its way to your thigh and his perfectly trimmed nails press into your soft skin as he holds you close. The tip of his cock teases your entrance and if you had a voice, you would have begged for it. As usual, you didn’t have to.

Levi leans down to you and kisses you slowly, teeth brushing against your swollen bottom lip. He places his other hand on the bed next to your head, using it to keep himself propped up. His hair hangs low as he hovers, already moist with sweat from the proximity and building body heat between the two of you. You use one hand to grip his forearm while the other hand slides up the back of his head and into his sweaty hair, fingers digging into his scalp. As the kiss deepens, so do his movements into you.

Levi slides himself in gently, using his hold on your thigh to control his speed. He lifts your leg up against his hip for a better angle but the sharp gasp from you stops Levi in his tracks. He stays there, feeling your warm walls hugging tightly around him.

He pulls away from the kiss and hovers over you again, looking down into your eyes with worry. It's been a while since you have been touched like this, let alone this intimate. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this loved. Levi makes this all so easy despite the anxious knot in your chest. You realize it isn’t just this that he makes easy, though. It’s everything around you. Every issue, every solution.

You imagine you’re looking at him just the same, a small smile etching into your flushed and hot face. Before he can ask again, you move your hand up and under his fingers that digs into the bed next to you. Lacing your fingers in with his, you squeeze his hand a few times.

A way to say you were okay and that you trusted him. And always would.

He looks down at you curiously but then realization dawns on him. His concern washes away to reveal his own version of adoration for you. It’s one of your favorite expressions on him by far.

In a breathless moan, Levi pushes himself all the way in. He presses his lips onto yours, muffling your moans that rise in volume as he slowly rocks into you. The hand he had on your thigh tightens as he pulls you into him more, quickening his pace slightly. The new angle hits a spot that almost puts you at the brink of finishing right then and there.

Levi lets go of your hand and moves his arm under your neck again, giving him the opportunity to trail his now sloppy kisses and teeth down it. Those razor-sharp teeth sink into your skin as one of his thrusts hit simultaneously. You bite into the back of your hand to keep yourself from wailing out and waking the rest of your roommates. The other hand that now sits against his sweaty chest digs into his skin, burying deeper with every thrust. It feels as if every part of your body burns like wildfire from his touch. Your name comes out in a groan this time, husky and deep.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You feel so good.” He buries his face into your collarbone as he moans your name again, shakily.

Levi thrusts soon become clumsy, feeling him slam into you inconsistently and with every hit comes more pressure against your clit. Heat builds into your core, the same as before. You’re pulling at his hair, in an attempt to warn him you were close. Throaty curses leave his lips as you both feel each other tense up.

In an instant, it’s like the world crumbles around you as you hit your limit. The walls surrounding Levi clenches as each wave of pleasure rolls through your whole system. Your orgasm sends Levi over the edge and in one deep thrust of his hips, you feel his body shudder as his moan almost turns into a whine. His teeth bite into you again as he rides through his own climax, filling up the condom within you.

Levi releases your leg and lets it fall gently against the bed before collapsing on top of you. He uses an arm to keep himself propped up enough to not suffocate you with his body weight. You focus on the heavy panting emanating from the both of you as you come down from your high. His heart beats in sync with your own against as he lays on top of you, digging his face into the crook of your neck.

You wrap your arms around his head and hold him close, despite the heat and sticky sweat between your bodies. Levi nuzzles his nose into sweaty soft skin and chuckles, low and hoarse. You both continue to lay like that until the breathing slows down to a normal pace. The next time he speaks, his voice is so soft and barely audible that you almost miss it.

“I love you too.”

☾ Previous Chapter: June - Part 3 ☾ Next Chapter: June - Part 5 [Final]

[weirdgirljulia]

ABOUT ME!!

My name is Julia! I'm 18 years old, trans, use she/her pronouns, I'm autistic with symptoms of ADHD.

My main interests are Star Wars and Steven Universe, but there's always a lot going on so you may see me talking about things like LoTR, Stellaris, Fallout, Skyrim and many many other things.

I'm okie dokie with asks but be respectful and not a dick

#wizardposting for all my arcane studies

#personalstuff for all things about me as a person

#hornyposting you know what this is for

DNI: transphobes, homophobes, conservatives, if you are ok with hate against a specific group of people fuck off

\\---//\\---//\\---//\\---//\\--//

Behold! For below this cut lies my wizardposting lore

I am Julia, she who speaks the unspeakable!

I'm what you may call a warlock, for I draw arcane and eldritch powers from mysterious and forgotten Godlike beigns I have made pacts with

Along my travels I've met two beigns I've come to call my patrons, above there is a crude rendition of their visage, wich does not makes justice to their grandeur, along their names as pronounced in our mortal tongue and the symbols etched upon their followers and properties.

Before talking about my lords, I'll talk of how I came to knew them

THE LIBRARY OF INFINITE

When I first began my journeys of the arcane arts, I was a child stumbling mindlessly along the libraries and bookstores of my hometown, until one fateful day I stumbled too deep into the bookshelves, before I knew it the daylight lost its reach of me, and something drew me deeper, I knew I was no longer where I was...

What I've come to know of this plane of existence is as vast as the library itself, but to keep it short, therein lies everybook ever writen, authors long ago died who spoke in forgotten tongues, works never published, kept during decades in the diaries of amateur poets, therein lies too all written word ever written, aswell as all words to be written. Oh! To wander along the bookshelves rising high as the eye can see, and to gaze upon words wich no human could've ever wrote... such a horrifying thrill to expierence for the first time.

And most mysterious of all to me, were the inhabitants of the library, at the distance I could see, in my first visit to this place, figures as seen trough a thick, cloudy glass, dressed in garments not of my age, gazing along the books as I did, amazed and captivated, and looking back at me whit my same confused eyes. Dear reader, you may've tought the library has a single door, and you would be wrong, the library of infinite extents along time, like a tower rising along sheets of paper and existing in them all, every library our kind has called as such serves ad a doorway, be it if you know how to get lost, or if the library calls upon you, and just like chemistry dictates water and vinegar not to mix, so too the library obfuscates the other inhabitants that do not share your own place in time... all except for one

UHGLEIMAK, LORD OF ANCIENT KNOWLEDGE

Glorious Ughleimak! The eternal librarian, he who holds the knowledge of ages long forgoten and never to be, terrible Ughleimak, glorious Ughleimak

My lord Ughleimak, the first inhabitant of the library of infinite, who has kept it for unimanigable time, to us he appears humanoid, his body, unnecesary for his great works, covered in dark robes, from wich many arms rise and acomodate the bookshelves as Ughleimak sees fit, and his whole head covered in a featureless bronze mask, adorned with the crown of he who has studied all that can be studied.

And most mysterious of all, the bookshelves themselves rise many stories tall, and stairs rise from balcony to balcony, as if a bookshelf became a book unto another bookshelf, the tomes that fit in your hand would never suffice lord Ughleimak, yet when at the distance you gaze upon his glory, he grabs books he holds just like you do from the bookshelves, and you could run but never catch him, and upon finding where he stood would find the same towering buildings of countless books fitted for the size of your hand, truly the work of lord Ughleimak.

How I came to be blessed by Ughleimak's trust I must not discuss, but our agreement is quite simple indeed, I shall bring forward all knowledge I may find, and the eternal librarian offers me a fraction of his power, from wich I draw frequently

One of my favorite skills, however, is the inherent connection of the library of infinite with all libraries...

THE FIELDS OF FLESH

Once I wondered out of the library of infinite, and unadvertly I found myself in what I can only describe as an organic cavern, my curiosity drew high and I left, following a faint light I tought was sunlight.

Alas, I was wrong, for I found myself upon the most horrible gaze I've saw so far, laid bare upon me and below my feet, far and wide extended muscles, wet and bloody and twitching, by all measures living tissue, and at the distance I saw bones protruding from the ground, growing in rows of horrible ribs forming forests of calcium, along wich roamed beasts of twisted organic matter wich I cannot even beging to describe, dear reader, whatever you imagine it to be, the critters of the fields of flesh are more horrid, twisted perversions of what we call anatomy.

I classified many of the creatures I saw there, from the hummingpeaks, to the belchingsacks and the fracturecats, but my research was cut by the rattlemaws, horrid predators whose maws unhinge so loosely, not by means of cartigale but rather by constantly breaking apart and splitting open the bones in their maws.

I was triumphant in the end, perhaps a story for another time, and my victory upon those wretched beasts didn't go unnoticed, I was summoned by the artificer of the horrible plane of existence I found myself in

SESHYRA, GRAND LADY OF FLESH AND BONE

Seshyra, the monolithic monarch, inescrutable sovereign of the fields of flesh, horrid tyrant who revels on the blood of her subjects, the maniac monarch, the monolithic monarch.

Seshyra is inescrutable, unknowable, horrible and beutiful all at the same. Seshyra holds undisputed power over her plane and her subjects, those who serve her strip themselves of everything but their most core instincts and behaviours, along the eons mighty beasts, humble critters and some sentient beigns have bowed to Seshyra as their monarch, they seek the transformation and reformation of the body as a means to gain power, to be on permanent change and adaptation, the ultimate prize the grand lady of flesh and bone offers is to live in her domains, and to revel in her glory among her subjects, as she puts it.

I, of course, felt no draw to Seshyra's cause, despite the respect to wich I stood in front of her I made myself clear, I did not want her gifts. Seshyra did not care, she saw a powerful warrior, the embodiment of her ideals and one who found her domains on their own, so I was given a gift, of wich I will speak more shortly, and the promise that I would be recieved in her place of power, never to leave again.

Shortly thereafter I took upon my Journey, of wich I could speak at lenghts, but I must talk first of my tools, for any self respecting wizard must talk of their equipment

Seshyra's Polymorphic Tool

As promised, the gift of the grand lady of flesh and bone, and unasuming piece of living flesh with a restless eye, roughly the size of a hand.

The polymorphic tool can quickly shift into any tool I command it to be with just a particularly strong tought, my weapon of choice if things grow complicated, the tool feeds mostly on spilled blood, wich it uses to fix itself

Depicted above is my favorite form to use in combat, the scythe!

Staff

The unasuming staff, custom made activated manasteel, a crystal orb filled with twirling mist atop the shaft, useful for channeling arcane powers and smacking unruly individuals in the head

Tome of Research

One of many gifts from my lord Ughleimak, here I keep all notes on my research and investigations, and my lord the eternal librarian can read it as he pleases, sometimes he writes useful notes upon it, usueful to cast complicated spells too

Diogenes

My lovely Diogenes, what would be of a wizard without a familiar? I found him once in the library of infinite nibling a book of greek philosophy, he's the cutest little thing there is, and smart as rats come, too, a favorite trick of mine is to cast multiply or gigantify upon him for outstanding effects, he can perform tricks too!

[platonicyanderepanic]

Hii, sorry for taking so long to type this out. I had gotten busy with a lot of things in my life, and I only now realized I didn't send any ask. Also hopefully, your surgery went okay? Hopefully, it will heal fast too!

Okay, now last time I was asking who your favorite character from Demon Slayer was. Or Genshin Impact, or My Hero Academia. Let's focus on Demon Slayer for now though. Here are some of my ideas with platonic yandere Muichiro Tokito! Is that how his name is written, I don't know. But for clarification, the Mist Hashira, is the one I'm talking about.

1. Reader discovers an old book under a tree, not knowing that it's linked to a demon blood art. They begin to read it. Grown up with a lot of younger siblings, they are used to reading books out loud. This then catches the attention of the near by Mist Hasira. Noticing the book has a strong demonic presence, plus the sun is about to go down. The situation quickly become a threat to the reader, as the demon appears coming out of the shadows. Just before being wounded by it, Muichiro manage to stop the demon and safe you. Something which you are grateful for, and despite the annoying feeling that Muichiro was expecting to experience by your actions. He didn't feel much besides feeling warmth. Curious he comes back other time drench in rain, something that doesn't make you happy being concerned about his health. This happens, again and again and again. Everytime, you both begin to care more openly about each other. Something which comes to bit you back when the towns people have almost never seen the Mist Hashira. Branding you as a someone who is possessed, they try to kill you after thinking the spirit won't leave. Muichiro learns of this, and quickly becomes angry. Wanting to go on a killing spree after coming to the site, with you barely conscious from all the fire and pain around you. The Mist Hashira somehow manage to save you, beofe taking you to his estate. After waking up, you become painfully aware of the complex situation you find yourself in. With only burn scars, a chain connected to your ankle, and a forgetful boy keeping you company.

2. Being a reader who likes to garden more than finding a partner, you weren't the best person to ask for dating advice. Something which became more and more obvious to the town people. However, unknown to the entire town. You didn't want to date or marry you, for that fate would be too cruel even for the less nice people. Your last, and first partner was one you loved dearly. And despite their problems with talking, they sure talked a lot about their nephews. Nephews who had disappeared for a long time. After getting married, you hoped that everything would turn towards the better. Only for you to come back from a day at the market, and find your partner dead, with one of their dearly held nephew in bloody clothes above them. Muichiro knew that after looking at the paintings, he had just killed one of his family members. A part of him regret it, the bigger part argued they were a demon and no longer a part of his family. But you, married to them didn't know that. And despite Muichiro attempts at convince you of the truth, you ran hoping for someone to help whether it was you or him. Help did came, but by then it was too late. Your partner's dear nephew was gone, not even a body of your partner remained. This continued to happen, with every new you visit and fell in love they would soon be found dead. Or rather be declared missing as only a bloody room and no body would be found. Deciding enough was enough, you stop trying to find someone years ago. The day you regretted that decision, was the day Muichiro visited. With only a few words spoken to you, he made it clear you couldn't go anywhere else. After all, family sticks together, right?

Sorry for the long texts, I may have gotten a bit out of hand explaining these ideas. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this? Take good care of yourself, and have a nice day or night!

omg, I love your ideas!!

I like how in the first you didn’t make them like each other for a while lmaooo

[casspurrjoybell-17]

HEART'S FATE - CHAPTER 50

*Warning: Adult Content*    

 "Prince Scyllian, It has been far too long."

A man with a black braid coiled about his head like a snake bows with a flourish and tries to kiss Skylar West’s hand. 

He barely deflect the attempt without causing a diplomatic incident before turning aside and greeting someone else, a woman this time, wearing a dress that makes her resemble an aged seahorse. 

Skylar murmurs something that he hopes sounds like a convincing combination of a greeting and her name, mixed with a suitable dash of royal ennui.

It was all coming back to him now... the tedium, the absurdity, the mounting desire to slip away and find some corner in which to hide. 

He had forgotten how liberating the surface world had seemed when first he found himself laid flat upon the sand, cast into a boundless realm in which not a single soul knew him from a lowly crab. 

The first person who came across him had mistaken him for a drunken sot, passed out upon the beach at dawn and ever since, it had delighted Skylar to be taken for a vagabond.

Now, with the weight of a kingdom threatening his  shoulders, he was already itching to be away again. 

Perhaps once his mother was free and the whole misunderstanding with his father cleared away, things might change.

Skylar’s father's idea of joining the Supreme Council resonated with him. 

If they were less focused on isolating and protecting ourselves and more free to explore and mingle with the wider world, their culture and way of life would be enriched, not diluted. 

Perhaps they might even move away from this ancient and outdated model of monarchy and spread the burden of leadership more equally among many.

The thought was as inviting as the promise of a soothing bath and a soft bed and as the meet-and-greet continues with no end in sight, Skylar indulged in a daydream of taking his sisters on a tour of the globe... from San Francisco to Tokyo, Paris to New York and everywhere in between. 

His bond-mate Martin West and his children would come along as well, of course... perhaps they'd home-school them for a year.

He is halfway through constructing a mental lesson plan on history and art when Martin himself reappears at his side, wearing a surprisingly contented smile. 

Skylar expected his mate to be miserable and ill-at-ease among so many strangers but he looks entirely at home. 

Anemone trails after him, a decidedly less happy expression on her face and slips away without meeting her brother’s eyes.

"Where have you been?" Skylar asks, as Martin takes his place at his side.

Martin smiles. 

"The library. It's magnificent. I don't suppose the books are written in English, though, are they?"

"No, most are in Mer. Our language uses an alphabet that predates early Greek and Phoenician."

"I wish I had Noah's acuity for language," Martin says. "I wonder if he could ever visit us here. The children, too."

Skylar casts him a glance. 

"I'm sure they can. When we've settled things and you are free of Elena, we can arrange it. I'm sure there will be innumerable royal balls and other uncomfortable affairs to attend once mother is free. My presence will undoubtedly be required and having you and the children along will make my duties far more pleasant."

"I shall be at your side, of course," he says and then smiles.

Skylar gives Martin’s hand a squeeze and sighs as the endless pleasantries continue. 

With every passing minute, the truth becomes more clear... this isn't where Skylar belongs. 

He’s glad Martin is enjoying himself but he’s already counting the minutes until they can go home.

********

"That was exhausting," Skylar says, crawling across the enormous bed and collapsing face first into a pillow. "I'd forgotten how much I hated those things."

It's nearly dawn, the celebration of Skylar’s return having lasted the entire night. 

Unfortunately, there really is no polite way to leave a party thrown in one's own honor but Martin had been true to his word and stayed at his mate’s side for the duration, unshakable as a shadow. 

In fact, he'd seemed content to do nothing else and his docility troubled Skylar, who worried it masked some state of inner shock.

Skylar rolls onto my back as Martin joins him, lying at his side and shutting his eyes with a gentle smile on his lips.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Skylar asks. "You've been... quiet."

"I'm perfectly happy," he says easily. "Thassos is wonderful."

Skylar frowns. 

"It's alright if you enjoy stuffy traditions and pompous displays for the sake of vanity. Oh, and blood-bound curses that all but imprison you. Honestly, I miss my classroom. I'd take a parent-teacher conference over another royal ball any day."

"But it's so peaceful here," Martin murmurs. "I never want to leave."

Skylar frowns and sits up. 

Martin's eyes remain closed and his face is the image of peace as he slips towards sleep. 

Usually, Skylar would love to see him so relaxed but Martin’s words trouble him.

"What about the children?" Skylar asks. 

Since the day he met Martin, he's seldom thought of anything without thinking of them first. 

Now, though, he seems to have momentarily forgotten they exist.

"Children? Oh, yes. Well, they'll be alright. They have their aunts and uncles to look after them."

"And their mother, I suppose," Skylar adds, watching for Martin’s reaction.

"And their mother, too. Yes."

A strange shock goes through Skylar... a wash of hot anger mixed with a tingling chill... as the truth hits him like a sleeper wave. 

Martin has been influenced by a Voice and the only person he was alone with for any amount of time is the person Skylar would least suspect. 

To use her Voice in such a way is not only a breach of etiquette but a serious crime and Skylar can't imagine why Anemone would risk it simply to change Martin's mind.

Skylar shakes him gently.

"Marrtin, wake up and focus. What did Anemone say?"

Martin sighs sleepily. 

"Hmm? About what?"

"Did she use her Voice on you? Tell me."

Skylar put the barest hint of power in his own words.

"She helped me see the truth, is all," Martin whispers. "Our place is here. Thassos is... wonderful."

"No, it isn't," Skylar snaps, grasping Martin’s shoulders and shaking him again, a little less gently this time. "If coming home has convinced me of anything, it's that my place is not here. I don't want to be king,and you don't want to be my 'consort.' You want to go home to Flora and Nico and Rio and Miguel... to your family. Think of them and remember, Martin."

Martin blinks at Skylar, his expression shifting from contentment to confusion and then he sits up and looks around.

"What happened? How did we get here?"

"Anemone took you to see the library. What did she say to you?"

Martin winced and rubbed the side of his head. 

"We were talking about your father and Natalis and... holidays."

"Holidays..." 

Suddenly it hits Skylar and he swears. 

"Fuck me with a whale cock." 

“What?”

"My father," Skylar snaps, rolling off the bed and snatching up his clothes from where he'd dropped them on the floor. "He's land-born. He doesn't have a siren's Voice like the rest of us. Most Mer-folk don't. It runs in the royal line."

“So?”

"So, if he'd revealed himself... showed up one day and revealed the fact he was alive... what do you think would be the very first thing any of us would do?"

"Er..." Martin squints at him.

"We'd use our Voice, of course and demand he tell the truth. He'd have no choice but to tell it. And if that truth happened to be that he really did intend to kill mother, put me on the throne and use me as a puppet for his own political machinations, well..." Skylar pulls up his trousers and buckles his belt rather violently. "You can imagine how quickly he'd have found himself on his way back to the depths."

"What about Natalis?" Martin asks, rising as well and dressing himself hastily. "Anemone said she's as powerful as your mom. Wouldn't she have asked your dad the same thing?"

"She's on his side, obviously."

“Oh.”

"And Anemone..." Skylar shake his head. "I don't know. She's young and impressionable. Maybe Natalis convinced her to help. At any rate, she was obviously supposed to convince you to convince me to stay and take the throne. Fat chance of that."

Skylar stalks to the doors and throws them open, ready to confront whatever might await on the other side but the corridor is empty. 

Martin scrambles to keep up with him as he strides off down the hall.

"Where are we going?"

"To the throne room," Skylar says, taking a sharp turn at a side passage meant for the serving class, another thing that could do with a modern overhaul. "I don't know what my father has planned but I'll break this curse on my own terms."

Martin jogs to keep up as Skylar trots through narrow and notably abandoned, hallways towards his destination, the map of the palace as clear in his head as it was in his childhood, when eluding angry tutors was the primary inspiration for such forays.

After a labyrinthine journey, they emerge, breathless, from behind a tapestry hanging from a wall of the grand hall. 

The doors of the throne room are within spitting distance to their left, flanked by two guards.

With a deep breath, Skylar steps into the passageway, straighten his posture and lifting his chin. 

The guards raise their weapons but upon recognizing Prince Scyllian, lower them halfway, as if uncertain.

"Apologies, my Prince," one guard says, holding her spear in a neutral position, "But no one is to enter. Orders of Lady Natalis."

Skylar adopts his snootiest tone and looks down his nose at her. 

"The last time I checked, I was next in line for the throne. I would like to pay my respects to my mother, if you please."

The guard purses her lips and shoots a sideways glance at her partner, who raises his brows in an 'I don't fucking know what to do' sort of way.

Taking the initiative, she stands aside and bows. 

"As you please, my Prince."

Casting her a nod of royal acknowledgement, Skylar links his arm through Martin's arm and marches through the doors.

Sweat trickles down his back as they traverse the length of the room, mounting the three steps of the raised dais at the end and approach his mother's cloth-covered, stone-bound form.

Skylar pulls the dust cloth aside and barely restrain a gasp.

She's as beautiful as he remembers her, every detail preserved in perfection.

He recalls coming across a man in a park, once, who had covered himself in gray paint and taken to posing as a statue in the name of art. 

He seemed to delight in scaring the shit out of people who failed to discern his disguise.

His mother looked just like that, like at any moment she might move,and prove herself a living being and not a figure cast in stone.

"Give me your amulet," Skylar says, pulling his own over his head. 

Martin complies and Skylar holds the two halves of the gem in front of him, back to back.

As it had when his father gave him the half he lacked, the gem fuses into a single whole, a three-dimensional heart lit from within.

Skylar places it around his mother's neck. 

The blood red gem glows, pulsing with a heartbeat rhythm that matched it’s shape and a corresponding excitement swells within his chest. 

In a moment, he will have his mother, his freedom and all the answers he desires.

The statue begins to glow as if heated from within and then, with a suddenness that makes Skylar gasp, the stone figure shatters and crumbles into dust.

The truth explodes like a bomb in his mind but before he can give Martin so much as a warning, a troop of guards bursts through the door amid a chorus of horrified shouts. 

Above all, Natalis's Voice rings out loud and clear.

"Seize these assassins," she commands. "They have killed the Queen."

[sakuraoora]

I love you (from afar, but do you love me back?)

Ships: Kazuha x Reader

Synopsis. You've cut clean from Kazuha. At least, that's what you think. Some days, you still long for him, his love, his affection, but you'd never go back to him. Kazuha, on the other hand, is falling apart without you.

Word count. 1.8k words.

Warnings. Major Character death (reader dies), angst, mentions of a bad relationship with your parents, reader is a writer, reader has a vision + can heal, mentions of Tomo, marriage is implied, sort of a continuation of My Dear Liyue Lover,

Notes. Part two of My Dear Liyue Lover! I highly recommend reading it before this one, for the sake of context. This was ALSO written at 1 AM in the morning, so it might be... scuffed. Enjoy!

ALSO !!! HERE YOU GO @xiao-xiao-forever AND @quazkers (good luck with that juicy angst) ♡♡♡

Everything was fine.

Fine.

It had been several months since you’d officially cut clean from Kazuha, and you probably shouldn't still be thinking of him on a day to day basis. After your breakup, you kept to yourself, and haven’t even seen Kazuha since that fateful day when he was at your door.

You were visiting your parents for the first time in months. They usually were alright when someone else (namely Kazuha) was there with you, but that wasn’t possible this time. Beidou was on another trip, probably to Inazuma again, Ningguang was busy with her affairs, Xingqiu and Chongyun were somewhere in the mountains of Liyue, clensing monsters, Xiangling was busy working at her restaurant, and you’d broken up with Kazuha for good- and it didn’t even end on pleasurable terms. You weren’t sure what feelings you had for him, or him to you, anymore.

Of course the only day you could visit your parents was on a day where nobody else could be with you. Totally fine.

As you walked down the path to the village where you grew up, watching the wheat sway in the wind on either side of the road. Looking up, you saw two cranes flying in the skies above, one white and one (color). Just like you and Kazuha, only… that didn’t end well.

You finally spotted the cottage you grew up in, which was in no better condition since you had last seen it. You took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Hello? Mom? Dad? I’ve come home to visit you!” you called out.

After a hot second. The door opened and your mother, her hair the color you had remembered it to be, but with much more streaks of gray. “Come in, and you better make this worth our time. I don’t want you to waste our time like you wasted so much of yours as a child, doing whatever that… thing it is that you call writing.”

She led you into the abode, and the first thing you saw was a sturdy, round wood table with your father in one chair and two empty seats on either side of him. “…Hello again, (name). How are you?”

You and your mother sat down, you on his left and your mother on his right. “I’m doing good, Dad. How about you?”

Your father let out a chuckle, his white hair shaking with his head as he replied, “I’m also doing fine. Now tell me, did you finally leave that awful job you had, writing… what was it again?”

“It was short stories, Dad.” you replied, watching your mom shuffle around the kitchen, making tea.

“Right. Short stories about blood, violence, and war. So, did you?” He asked.

“I have a job at the Adventurers’ Guild now. I don’t fight monsters, but I heal and support them. I’m essentially their doctor.” Yes, you did still write on the side, but no way in hell were you going to willingly tell him you still were a writer.

“Good, good. An honorable job, right (mom’s name)?” Your father chuckled.

“Yes, very. It was such a ridiculous thought you had when you were younger, to think you could truly be a writer and make a stable income. I’m glad you finally came to your senses.” Your mother poured tea into your china cup, and you nodded in return.

“Thank you for the tea, Mom.”

“You're welcome.” she replied, and poured herself and your father their own cups of tea. “Where’s that poet-boy? He was with you the last few times you stopped by. Wasn’t he your boyfriend? Where did he go?”

“I… broke up with him.” you replied.

“Good lord, you did? He was the only man in Liyue Harbor that could’ve wanted someone as useless as you, who can’t even make a cup of tea without burning yourself.” she scoffed.

“Mom-”

“You’re useless. All you do is waste time on writing those silly stories of yours, and never academics. If you studied harder, you might’ve had a chance at going to Sumeru Academia!” she rambled, and you tried to keep the tears from coming. “I was right to limit your access to fantasy books, and rip up that one prototype draft you had.”

This can’t be happening, you thought. Your past memories welled up within you, your passion for writing, how your mother had brutally ripped it into shreds without warning.

You didn’t want to relive that.

“I’m sorry I have to go--” you said, walking to the door and getting outside before your mother grabbed your arm, her grip stronger than a snake suffocating its prey.

“Where do you think you’re going, (name)? We aren’t done talking with you.” she said, her grip somehow becoming even stronger, which would probably leave an ugly purple bruise for the next few weeks.

“I- just remembered I have a job around now.” you mumbled, your fib easily detected by your mother. But anything to get away from this house sounded nice around now.

“Family first, right (name)?” your father’s voice boomed from the doorway, scaring away the birds that were trying to steal the chicken’s food.

“They’re clearly uncomfortable, sir, with all due respect. And ma’am, your grip is making (name)’s arm turn purple.” you heard a voice call out, and the hand at your side immediately let go, your hand dropping to your side. Wait a minute… you knew who this was.

Before you could stop yourself, you called out his name. “Ka…zuha? What are you doing here?”

Kazuha smirked, his smile lighting and sinking your heart at the same time. “At your service, (name),” he said, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. “I was passing by when i happened to hear your sign of distress.”

“Likely story,” you said. “You almost never travel the same place twice, and you’ve been here too many times to count already.”

Kazuha took at deep sigh. “Do you want to get out of here with me or not?” he asked with a playful smirk. “Because I could always just leave you behind, you know.”

“You’re obviously avoiding the question, but lets spring.” you said, “I can’t stand staying here a second longer,” and just barely after the words left your mouth, Kazuha effortlessly picked you up, bridal style, and pushed you both up into the air.

As you looked down, you saw that your parents had long gone inside after Kazuha had shown up.

“Why?” you asked him, as he carried you through the sky. “…Why did you stop writing back to me?”

“I… didn’t mean to make it seem like I liked the Traveler…” he replied, his eyes shifting away from yours. “It was just-” he cut off, before suddenly landing you at the edge of Liyue harbor. “I have to go,” he said, before giving you one last longing look and dissapearing in a swirl of red, white and green.

Heartbroken was officially your favorite writer.

How did they capture so much emotion, akin to what you were feeling at the moment, in a single sentence?

How did they convey heartbreak because of a misunderstanding with a single line on a page?

How did they remind you so much of Kazuha?

No.

They couldn’t be Kazuha.

After all, Kazuha had left you for the Traveler.

That’s what it seemed like to you, anyways.

Did he really though? You pondered as you walked along a familiar trail, the one to the beach with several ruin guards you and Kazuha had defeated together when you were still in a relationship with him. You watched the dead parts of the ruin guards which were carelessly littered on the beach, watching how where the water met the parts, it rusted badly.

Whilst you were so focused on the water, you didn’t realize one of the ruin guards had booted up partially and blew bombs at you. Too late, you noticed the projectiles heading your way and tried to dodge unsuccessfully. You crashed against the salty sea-water, and grimaced wherever the water touched the newly opened wounds and burns on your body. It’d be useless to try to overexert myself by trying to heal myself right now… but I should at least get out of the water to somewhere safe.

You crawled forward, your whole body groaning in complaint due to how injured you were. When you finally reached a little alcove, you sighed and attempted to use your vision to heal yourself, even if it was just the slightest bit, but you couldn’t muster the strength to call upon the power of your vision. “…Kazuha…” you said, your voice barely a whisper.

The last thing you saw was Kazuha plunging down onto the ruin guard, fully dismantling it before your vision started to fade. If you had stayed conscious a moment longer, you would’ve seen a fearsome look on Kazuha’s face before it melted into panic with a (terrible, honestly) mask of calm.

Kazuha leapt over mountains, praying that he was just dreaming about the fact that your body was growing colder and colder in his arms. He refused to look down and check to see if your vision was still alive; refused to see another one of the people he was closest to fade out of life, and into death.

When will you face your responsibilities, Kazuha? The back of his mind whispered to him, and he forced himself to look down.

Your face was covered with burns and blood.

He froze. What?

Before he could plummet into the ocean below, he landed you on a beach, stumbling after spraining an ankle in the fall. He stumbled to the nearest place he could safely set you down on, which happened to be a beach where you first took him stargazing when he arrived in Liyue.

The pounding of his heart in his ears being the only thing he can hear. He desperately placed two fingers at your neck, trying to feel a pulse, any pulse, before he lowered head down to try to hear signs of breathing, but his normally sharp ears couldn’t hear anything except the pound of his own heart.

Badump. 

Badump.

Badump.

Kazuha pried his head from your body and saw an electro vision, burning, flying towards him.

Tomo? Kazuha thought, his body convulsing, and he caught the vision out of instinct.

He looked down at what was supposed to be a burning and dying vision… to your vision, cold and limp in his hands.

“No…” Kazuha whispered, despair cracking into his voice. “No, no no no no no…”

They’re dead Kazuha, the back of his mind thought. You can never say sorry or clear up that misunderstanding now.

Kazuha held your body closer and closer, a box with a music box engagement ring jabbing into his side, but he didn’t care. He just kept holding you closer, as your blood painted the sunset a brilliant scarlet.

I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry.

I love you.

Reblogs help more than likes! Thank you for reading :)