#your exactly and my exactly are two different exactlys
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Pound Town | c.sc ěľěšě˛
tags + warnings: cowboy!highsexdrive!seungcheol x fem!reader, breeding kink, creampie, praise kink, riding, public sex (?), mdni 18+
synopsis: âsave a horse, ride a cowboyâ
a/n: we all NEED a man like cheol ughh, anywayss enjoy my first svt fic <3 love you mwahh
ŕ¨ŕ§ â masterlist â§Ëââ˘ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ˘â§âËâš
you weren't exactly sure how long you'd been riding. a horse? no. in fact, you were riding the hottest cowboy youâd just met in the west town. the man, who hastily introduced himself as "cheol," had offered you a ride when your poor Dodge Charger broke down, but it seemed the two of you interpreted "ride" in entirely different ways. so now, instead of heading to your appointment, there you were, straddling him in a deserted parking lot beside the western pub, his vintage car creaking beneath you.
the soaring heat of the day was long gone and mellowed into a dusky twilight, casting long shadows across the deserted lot, and yet,, cheol wasnât finished. the foggy windows and the ring of white cum forming at the base of his shaft might have been a good indication of how long the both of you might have been doing the deed but nobody seemed to be paying attention anyways.
âhahâŚ.fuckâŚsâgoodâ cheol was propped up on the backseat of the car, old-fashioned belt and jeans pooling around his knees, a sheen of sweat trickling down on both sides of his forehead, but amidst the sweltering heat in the car, his eyes never left yours. while you, on the other hand, were barely keeping up with the pounding. he had both of his huge hands wrapped around the sides of your waist, guiding you up and down his dick repeatedly, simultaneously bucking up his hips rhythmically to press sweet kisses on your cervix. of course, you were a moaning and whimpering mess, blabbering incoherently, tears forming at the brim of your eyes. ânnnghâŚcheolâŚcanâtâ you whine weakly. âslow down, pleaseâŚhah..â yet despite your protest, cheol seemed to be driving you close to your umpteenth orgasm. but this time, he was finally close too.
âfuck, fuck, fuck, thatâs it, attagirl, gonna fill you up to the brim, youâre all fuckin mine.â cheol pants, snapping his hip harder into yours, the squeaky sounds from the leather of the vintage carâs seats and your skin-to-skin slapping intensifying âhnng,,canât!â you wail, high crashing down as you tremble in his grip, sobs wracking your body as your cunt clenches down on his cock, white ring of cum thickening around the base of his cock as he rams into your pussy, swears profusely escaping his lips.
âso⌠fuck⌠going to breed youâ cheol groans, gripping your waist tightly and painfully as his high hits shortly after, slamming his cock deep as hot cum fills you to the brim, warmth spreading as you wail with the overstimulation, so full already of his release, but you felt euphoric. âsâfullâŚ.feels sâgoodâ you whimpered
cheol chuckled at your fucked out state, ânext time you need a ride, ride me instead, because cowboys ride harder and stay on longer.â
#seventeen fic#seventeen#seventeen ff#svt ff#svt smut#svt#svt x reader#svt imagines#svt fanfic#seventeen imagines#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol smut#choi seungcheol#seventeen seungcheol#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol scenarios#seungcheol hard hours#kpop smau#kpopff#kpop smut#kpopfic#seventeen smut#svt seungcheol#svt scenarios#svt scoups#svt smau#scoups#scoups fanfic#s coups smut#svt fic
711 notes
¡
View notes
Text
⎠What happened to hello | Lando Norris âŽ
Summary: Quick little drabbled based on all the speculation of Lando getting a bad haircut because he wore his hat so much at the Mexican GP
Warning: none :)
word count: 848
a/n: I haven't wrote in a long time so I'm pretty rusty, go easy on me! I also wasn't entirely sure how I wanted to wrap up the ending, so yeah, sorry for that!
âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ âŽÂ ⎠âŽ
âTake the hat off Landoâ You playfully demand with a squint of your eyes as soon as Landoâs face appears on your laptop screen.Â
Youâre currently on day 14 of being apart since Lando left for the triple-header and itâs eating you both alive. You havenât been apart for longer than seven days at a time, in almost a year. Everyone around you, even the fans, call you two codependent, but really, you were just in love and wanted to spend as much time together as possible.Â
Between the time zone differences and you both working so much, youâve found it difficult to spend much time together. Youâve found comfort in being able to keep up with Lando from all of the fan and official F1 content posted online.Â
Youâve gotten a giggle out of all the speculation surrounding Landoâs hair. It started on the first media day in Mexico, when it appeared Lando had gotten a haircut, but his hat stayed on the entire day.Â
The next day was when the rumors actually started, Lando hadnât taken his hat off again and every fan you came across was freaking out and cracking jokes that Lando got a bad haircut and was embarrassed about it.Â
Initially, aside from enjoying all the posts, you hadnât given it much thought, assuming Lando was mostly wearing the hat because of the heat; but then you realized Lando hadnât sent you any photos without the hat on, and the handful of late night facetimes you had, he was already in bed with his hoodie up and it was mostly dark.Â
Whenever you and Lando are apart, you always made sure to keep each other still included in the day to day parts of your lives; you were always sending photos, videos and voice notes until you could facetime or be with each other again.Â
Lando hadnât changed your familiar routine, he just never had hair showing, which was a little odd, but nothing concerning. You admittingly missed the post shower selfies or the sweaty, messy haired, tired post race selfies.Â
Youâre instantly met with a giggle from Lando âWhat happened to hello baby.â Landoâs sat in his drivers room, heâd got a couple hours break between practice and qualifying and wanted to make the most of your shared free time to squeeze in a quick facetime with you.
âHello babyâ You grinned cheekily. âIâve missed you so much, did you get a bad haircut?â You giggledÂ
Lando raised an eyebrow as another giggle slipped past his lips. âDid I get a bad haircut?âÂ
You nodded quickly âYou havenât taken your hat off the entire time youâve been in Mexico, so show meâ
âAnd how would you know that, hmm?â Lando asked with a smirk. Lando was initially confused, but now all he wanted was to play into the fun he was having.Â
A bright rosy blush crept up your cheeks as you briefly glanced away from Lando on the screen. Landoâs now grinning mischievously, enjoying getting to tease you. âDo I need to talk to Osc or have you been creeping on me?âÂ
Before you even get a chance to answer, Lando starts giggling again and shaking his head. You pout and cross your arms. âA bad haircut is the only explanation for the hat and not getting my selfiesâ
âYour selfies?â Lando questions, once again raising an eyebrow. He knows exactly what selfies youâre talking about, but one thing about Lando Norris is that he loves to tease his girlfriend.
âI want my post race selfies back LandoâÂ
Lando smiles widely, taking a moment to take in all of your soft sweet features. Lando hadnât intentionally been keeping anything from you, the few days he had been in Mexico had been busier than usual and it slipped his mind. âIâm sorry my love, I promise youâll get one after qualiâ
âI betterâ You murmur, arms still crossed against your chest. You did miss the selfies, but you werenât actually annoyed with him, in fact any feelings that even remotely resembled annoyance or hurt from the past few days all stem from a place of missing Lando.Â
Lando knows you better than you know yourself, so he knows that if he doesnât do something in the next few minutes, the call is going to take a sharp turn from playful and fun to somber and probably leave at least one of you in tears. Neither you or Lando were one to shy away from your emotions, but if Lando could hold off on it, until he could guarantee you his undivided love and attention, that's what heâs going to do.Â
Lando winks at you, before taking off his hat and running his hand through his hair. âIs that better my love?â
A small gasp passes your lips, before you break out into the widest smile that Lando had seen in weeks. âLando!â You squeal happily. âYou look so handsome, why have you been hiding your hair?â
âI havenât been hiding my hair, you doughnut,â Lando laughed. âItâs hot and I like my hatâ
#Lando Norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x you#formula one fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x you#ln4#Lando Norris fluff#lando norris
725 notes
¡
View notes
Text
â
WHICH COMIC BOOK COUPLE ARE YOU AND YOUR PERSON MOST LIKE?
NOTE â love and light my babies âď¸đ§ż take what resonates, leave what doesnât. for entertainment purposes only. your feedback is always so greatly appreciated, enjoy!
â PILE 1.
channeled couple(s) â batman x catwoman + jean grey x cyclops.
your person is a very hands-on, actively involved and dynamic individual who thrives in fast-paced environments. theyâre very resourceful and can turn a negative into a positive in the blink of an eye â a true problem solver if you will. they learn things/adapt quicker than most and i feel like a lot of people regard them as an amazing friend. your person is very inquisitive and always wants to know more. once they complete a task, theyâre on to the next; it can be hard to pin them down for long periods of time. they might move around a lot physically (could have OCD) but iâm more so picking up that theyâve lived here, there and everywhere.
theyâre always on the go! iâm also picking up that your person is a little bit of a control freak but gosh they can't help it; they truly love to lead and be of service. youâre gonna find this so hot lowkey lol which is funny because i think you typically go for someone that letâs you control things and have the upper hand but with this person itâs not like that. their sense of control is different though â itâs not possessive, like âyouâre mine!â or âno, you canât go out wearing that!â instead, itâs more about seeing you struggle with something and insisting on helping you with it. you might say, âno, iâve got it,â but theyâll respond, âhere, just let meâŚâ you get frustrated because you just said you could handle it, but there they go, taking it from your hands and easing the stress and pain you were carrying. wow, that was such a descriptive scenerio but it just randomly came to me lol. itâs giving 6H energy!
11:11 on the clock iâm blushing hehe your person is super sweet and chivalrous itâs very charming, pile 1. donât even get me started on their physique WHEW youâre gonna love their arms/bicepsâŚyour person might even have a lot of tattoos (iâm seeing sleeve tats) and i can just see you fighting the urge to playfully bite them lol. they could be very athletic and go to the gym a lot. now switching gears, the comic book couples that similarly mirrors your connection is jean grey x cyclops + batman and catwoman. some of yâall might be rolling your eyes at the mention of jean and scott (my wolverine girlies iâm talking to you) but HERE ME OUT and let me cook!
i feel like youâre more of a wanderer and donât care to be as involved as your person is, if that makes sense? gypsy by fleetwood mac just started playing in my mind. trials and tribulations throughout your life might have caused you to turn inwards, and you feel unsure about what it is your supposed to be doing/where life is exactly taking you. your presence is more calm and still and your person is again, more hands on and out there. like jean grey, you are very clever and passionate but thereâs a temperamental side to you. you might have strong air sign placements in your chart because i feel that youâre very rational about your emotions â sometimes to a fault. i think you hold back a lot of the times (especially when it comes to love) in fear of hurting other peopleâs feelings or just being misunderstood. some of you could have people-pleasing tendencies. your person gives that scott summers vibe because their actions are typically driven by a sense of duty rather than a desire to please others.
whether you know it or not, you wield a lot of power and sometimes i think people take your kindness for weakness. what your person is really going to admire about you is how intentional you are especially when it comes to giving/receiving love. you are so gentle and kind with your person â soooo doting and attentive. you two deadass have a telepathic connection cause when one person is feeling off, the other one can sense it. your person is also tryna be funny and say that youâre used to dealing with logans (wolverine) but theyâre coming to change that. LMAOOOO your person is funny as fuck if you couldnât already tell.
you both compliment each other so well, spiritually and physically. thatâs why i also channeled batman x catwoman because yâalls vibe just gives that. yâall know those crazy ass tiktok/IG comments when people are like i need to see the tape PLS yeahâŚyâall evoke that reaction from people. you both find each other incredibly sexy like the sexual tension between you both is gonna be insaneeeee. iâm also sensing a bit of a bratty energy coming from your end in terms of the attention your person gets lol they might be very sought after. itâs reminding of the ending scene of âthe batmanâ when selena is urging batman to come with her and part of him is superrrr tempted but duty calls. i promise you that your person only wants you, though. like iâm being so deadass when i say that theyâre literally gonna be devoted to you.
OTHER CHANNELED MESSAGES â
âi work aloneâ, you might be used to the wolverine types but what you really need is a scott summers, back to black by amy winehouse, spotless mind by jhenĂŠ aiko, maneater by nelly furtado, dylan, slayyyter, dua lipa, ESFJ, ISTJ, resemblance to callum turner, 333, sagittarius, 6H cancer, capricorn rising, 555.
â PILE 2.
channeled couple(s) â daredevil x elektra + rogue x gambit.
oooo right off the bat iâm hearing stand still by sabrina claudia. youâre so unaware that we're feeling, the same thing, the same damn thingâŚtime is standing still and why are we still here? interesting, pile 2. very interesting! you and your person are more alike than you would think. from the outside you both appear very different, but energetically you both are sooo compatible. iâm hearing âfrom different worldsâ and being drawn to the movie aladdin lol maybe thatâs one of your favorite disney movies or your personâs? i think thatâs why i was picking up on elektra x daredevil because itâs likeâŚyou and your personâs upbringing differed in a way but thereâs a common ground in terms of how itâs shaped you both. one of you is more forward and hasty while the other is more reluctant and calculated.
you feel very confined and limitedâŚlike your environment is just so repetitive and boring. youâve been hoping for something new to manifest â and you feel like youâre on the brink of it, itâs like you can almost reach out and touch it. for most of you, this is in regards to your connection with this person but for otherâs itâs a job/traveling opportunity of some sort. you could possibly live in a very small town or somewhere that doesnât have a lot to offer/keep you occupied. youâre about to see some progress sooner than you think, pile 2. give it about 1-3 months and watch how the magic happens! sagittarius season could be very significant for you.
your person is going to come into your life HOT and HEAVY, omg. youâre gonna be like wait wtf when did you get here?! nobodyâs supposed to be here by deborah cox is playing in my head now â iâve tried that love thing for the last timeâŚmy heart says no, no! nobody's supposed to be hereâŚbut you came along and changed my mind. LMAOOOO well pile 2 get ready cause your person is gonna sweep you off your damn feet. now it makes sense why i channeled rogue x gambit for you two because itâs like youâre taking of risk of some sortâŚthe risk being your heart. trusting someone romantically is like risky business for you.
youâre so used to being able to predict outcomes and know whatâs going to happen next, but with this person uhn uhn things are not so black and white. actually, thereâs a lot of grey areas and thatâs whatâs going to scare you yet intrigue you about this person. youâre so rogue coded, awww. rogue has the ability to absorb the powers and memories of others through touch, so that makes her very guarded and reluctant to form close relationships. gambit is intrigued by her, but she is wary of him. i see this being similar to you and your personâs interactionsâŚthere might be an initial hesitation on your end but thereâs an undeniable chemistry between the two of you!
your person is similar to gambit who is a smooth-talking, charming, and rough around the edges type of character. heâs very drawn to rogueâs beauty and strength (and similar to you) her self-imposed isolation and emotional baggage makes her hesitant to open up to him. iâm definitely picking up on the slow-burn trope for yâall, pile 2. although you really want this connection you might feel held back by self-doubt and fear intimacy/vulnerability. youâve gotta work through this slowly but surely, my loves. itâs not easy but itâs necessary because this person absolutely loves you, pile 2. theyâd put everything on the line for you if they had to.
just like gambit, this person will always be deeply in love with you no matter how much you try to shut them out or act like your feelings arenât as deep as they really are. i also just want to mention that your person has such a way with words like UGH the way they say things/articulate themselves is gonna have you going feral lol theyâre so knowledgeable and persuasive. it doesnât help that theyâre fine as fuck too lol youâre gonna be mentally shadow-boxing your anxiety whenever youâre around them because theyâre just soooo damn charming fr!
iâm also being drawn to one of the biggest themes of rogue and gambitâs relationship which is rogue not being able to physically touch him without absorbing his memories and abilities â which is something that frightens her, not only because it could harm him but also because itâs something that strips away everything from the person sheâs touching. now yâalls situation is obviously not that dramatic, but i am picking up that some of you that picked this pile could be virgins or celibate. i feel like the wait will make you both become even closer.
OTHER CHANNELED MESSAGES â
you make wanna by usher, âi never thought this was possibleâ, bit of a wild card (no pun intended), fiery personality, leo/aquarius placements, youâre their best friend, love on the brain by rihanna.
â PILE 3.
channeled couple â wanda maximoff x vision.
you and your person are too stinkinâ cute, pile 3. lmaooo i know that sounds so corny and cheesy but your person puts you in this kind of mood. the sun is shining sooo bright as iâm writing this. itâs like you light up their life and vice versa. you remind them of a warm summer day at the beach where youâre free to just roam around, have ice cream and relax. youâre like a breath of fresh air for this person. your person can be extremely sappy (in the best way possible) like i see them randomly just grabbing you and spinning you around or twirling you lol theyâre likeâŚalways in a good mood. they might like to sing or dance mhm i get the vibe that they have a CD collection like they really love music sooo much! they will love to cook for you as well awww theyâre so considerate, pile 3. you guys are definitely giving that old school cutesy romantic 60s couple vibe for sure, i could cry!
i channeled wanda maximoff x vision for a reason i see. i feel like when you first meet your person youâre going to be going through alot in your own life and iâm not necessarily getting that itâs anything bad but it seems like youâre either working through something or towards something. this could be you confronting some childhood trauma and/or previous relationship baggage. it might also be that you're not quite where you imagined you'd be in life right now, or maybe you're feeling a bit unsure about your current path. whatever the reason, your person will likely sense that you're feeling a little lost, and they'll pick up on that shift in your energy. you might meet your person while youâre traveling or outside of wherever you live (iâm hearing out the country for some) and i see you two forming a very close friendship first. infrunami by steve lacy is coming to mind â girl, you're the one i want, youâre the one i needâŚiâm beggin' you, please. can you come back to me? 'cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me. hm for some of you this person could be a mutual or you somehow know them through your friends? if not, there just seems to be a sense of familiarity between the two of you.
iâm hearing âwow what a small world!â so tbh you could meet this person through one of your friends lol now iâm hearing best friendâs brother by victoria justice PLEASE thatâs so random but on brand. also iâm picking up that your person could wear glasses? they are very inquisitive and can read you like a book, pile 3.
like vision, your person can pick up on your emotions, sensing when something is off even if you donât express it. though vision is a synthezoid, his close connection to wanda and his time with the avengers allowed him to empathize deeply with human emotions. over time, his understanding of these feelings went beyond his programming, and his love for wanda amplified his ability to sense when sheâs in distress. he offers comfort to her when she's struggling with her powers or grief. i feel like this relationship will be therapeutic for the both of you! you scratch their back, theyâll scratch yours.
you are similar to wanda in the sense that you can alter/create your reality â YOU have the power, but you have to believe it first. you doubt yourself a lot and create a lot of chaos within your mind because you canât decide whether or not you should do something or if youâre even making the right decision. i think this has a lot to do with your childhood/upbringing, you stay in the shadows instead of being in the spotlight. thatâs the problem, pile 3. i think youâre afraid of taking up space in fear of what others might say or think. thereâs this sense of imposter syndrome. in order to bring this relationship into fruition youâve gotta trust and believe in yourself, my loves. youâre an absolute badass â pop out and act like it! 10:10 on the clock. stop getting so caught up in the idea of what you think should be perfect. nothing and no one is perfect and ironically thatâs the beauty of life lol shit ainât always sweet and thatâs okay. the world keeps spinning. it might not seem like it now but you will be more than okay, trust me! your person canât wait to be in your orbit eeek iâm giddy at the thought of you two connecting. you donât even realize it but your spirit guides are working overtime to make this connection happen hehe it starts with you though, babe. buckle up cause your person is ready. are you down to ride?
OTHER CHANNELED MESSAGES â
michael, breakfast at tiffanyâs, NYC, month of may, one of the girls by the weeknd ft. lily rose depp & jennie, looks like MBJ, leo, 7H, 6H/virgo venus.
#pick a card#pac#pac reading#pick a pile#pick a card reading#tarot reading#p1utofairy#intuitive reading#text divider#by ioveartfilm
522 notes
¡
View notes
Photo
As a bilingual, all these happened to me. It's sometimes you forget the word, but much likely you use the correct word in your second language but with your first language grammar.
Czechs for example tend to mess the prepositions all the time. We don't differ between in and at, we use IN whether we're inside the building or whether we're partaking in the institution. So a Czech bilingual - and I believe all Slavic bilinguals - often tells you shit like 'yeah, I'm in school' while on a field trip. I think it's the most common mistake I came over during teaching.
Also, not exactly useful in a conversation but let me share my personal experience with you. Well, two bits of thereof. As I said, I'm bilingual. I'm not ashamed to say I'm better in English than in my actual mother tongue, Czech.
I'm learning Gaeilge on Duolingo. And every so often, I translate a sentence correctly in it's meaning BUT make a grammar mistake in English. I make a mistake I don't normally do in a conversation. I make a stupid mistake such as omitting the definite article WHICH I KNOW IS THERE but it's equivalent isn't used in Irish and it throws me off so bad I say a thing I wouldn't normally say in English just to make it analogic to Irish. It's stupid and I know it shouldn't be happening, but it is.
Another bit of experience is from the University. We were a bunch of friends suffering from the same problem - being so in English (studying it for so long, having most conversations in it, consuming most media in it etc.), we were thinking on English and casually went from our mother language to English and back during the conversation, like mid-sentence. Well, due to the University shenanigans (don't ask the details as they're not important for the plot and this thing is already too long for the attention span of today's youth), we had to choose one more language to study on like A1 level for two semesters. Dumb but mandatory. The options were Polish, Russian, and I surmise Bulgarian (my memory's a twat). Anyway, our professor was Polish and her Czech was about the level of average USinan's Spanish. So she was explaining us the meaning of the word 'zawaĹeny'. And as I said, we were casually moving from one language to another while needed, i.e. when we lost a word in one and needed a substitute. So, our Polish professor was explaining the meaning and we were like "Yeah, it's busy!" Like not the Czech word for it, literally 'busy' in English. Naturally, she was like the math formulĂŚ meme and we were thinking so hard how the fuck do you say 'busy' in our mother language.
SPOILER ALERT: We had to look in the dictionary.
im going to have a stroke
633K notes
¡
View notes
Text
My Boys' Girl (18+)
Pairings: John Price / Simon "Ghost" Riley / Fem!Reader / Johnny "Soap" MacTavish Content Warnings: Voyeurism, mentioned exhibitionism, she/her pronouns used for reader Word Count: 1.1k A/N: Shorter fic this time-I've got a longer one in the works tho! Also-If anyone has any fic suggestions PLEASE tell me and i'll try my best xoxo
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ âShe wanted to show off for you, Cap.â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
John Price knew what his boys got up to in their spare time. He didnât have to be told-he saw how they looked at each other, how theyâd cuddled up to each other in the back of the van when they thought no one was looking, how theyâd instantly look at each other at the mention of an âearly finish.â He knew what they got up to. Not that he cared-he loved his lads like they were family. Heâd shot enough evil glares at anyone who dared to criticize or gossip about the two. But what he didnât know was how theyâd managed to pick up you. The pretty little thing heâd seen clutching Johnnyâs arm when they went to the pub, with the most beautiful eyes. He was happy for his lads-how theyâd found home in each other, but God his eyes were drawn to you. Your perfect curves, your breasts (even if it made him feel like a dick), and your eyes. He could envision them looking up at him through those beautiful lashes, lips wrapped around his cock.Â
He felt terrible about it. The lads obviously liked you a lot, and youâd been nothing but nice to him. And here he was-fantasizing about you. Heâd often find himself getting off to you, wearing whatever tight little dress heâd seen you in. Cock in hand, imagining it was your mouth he was fucking. Nearly every night heâd flick through the selfies heâd gotten from MacTavish, nearly every photo including you.Â
And then another notification came through-a photo, as usual. But it wasnât the usual jokey selfie-which usually included you draped over the lads in some sort of way. This was different. This photo wasâŚnew. Evidently Ghostâs hands-based on the glove-tilting your face up by the chin, with your big, beautiful eyes staring into the camera. Eyes lidded every so slightly, with a blissed out look on your face. God you looked perfect.Â
He hadnât realized how long heâd been staring at that picture, his cock already stiffening in his trousers, until the next one came through. He exhaled sharply through his nose, gripping the arm of the chair a lot tighter than he had previously. It was like he could feel all the blood in his body rushing down, as he caught sight of you in the photo. Ass up in the air, face down in the pillow. Ghostâs hands were clearly holding your hands behind your back, and your pussy was barely covered by the lacy piece of string you called a thong.Â
âShe wanted to show off for you Cap.â The text read, and Price sucked in a breath. His hand swiftly reached down to palm his now painfully hard cock through his trousers. He could just imagine slipping his fingers inside you-finding that sweet spot deep inside you that would make your toes curl.Â
His fingers were pressing the call button before he knew what he was doing.Â
âEvening Captain. To what do we owe the honor?â Johnnyâs voice rang out, sounding slightly too amused with himself.
âPhotos, MacTavish. What was up with that?â Price asked, his voice catching in his throat slightly at Johnnyâs ever so evil chuckle.
Price swears he can hear the plot in Johnnyâs head as he spoke, the soft rustling of the duvet giving away where exactly he was. âWhy donât I put her on the phone for you?âÂ
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You could barely think-but somehow managed to pull yourself together enough to take the phone off of Johnny. âHe-Hey John!â You squeaked out, instantly covering your mouth to conceal the moan that dared to try to escape your lips. Ghostâs hands gripped your hips, fucking into you at such speed you wondered how his knees didnât give out, with his cock hitting that sweet spongy part deep inside you.Â
âHeard you wanted to show off for me, love?â His voice rumbled through the phone, dark and smooth like a good whiskey. That teasing tone, the soft chuckle in his words, it was enough to send a shiver down your spine. âGo on then. Talk to me.â
At that, Ghost picked up the pace, hands gripping the flesh of your hip so tight you were sure it would leave bruises. âIs he making you feel good, love? Making your legs shake?â You inhaled a strangled gasp, biting your lower lip slightly.Â
âAsked you a question.â Ye-ah-â You whined, bucking your hips back against Ghost. Something about having Price on the phone, with Ghost fucking you like his life depended on it, and Johnny watching from the corner-it felt so dirty. But so good. âNeed-need to cum-âÂ
âI know you do, love. Gonna cum for me?â Ghostâs hands found your clit, earning a string of moans out of you. âYeah she is-can feel her squeezing around me. So fucking tight-and wet-â Ghostâs thrusts grew staggered, his hips slamming into yours. You didnât care to be quiet anymore, there was no point.Â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
John already knew what was going on. Heâd known before heâd called. He knew when he called that youâd be on your back-but he hadnât expected to be listening. It felt dirty. But God the way your sweet little moans had him gripping his aching cock, and his head tossed back over the chair. Bucking his hips up into his hand, imagining he was fucking your soft little cunt. âGonna cum for me?â Heâd asked-and the gasps and moans he got in return had him gasping for breath.Â
âI know you need it, love.â He murmured into the phone, trying his hardest not to cum before you. âBe a good girl and cum for me.â He needed to hear you cum. To hear those gorgeous gasps as you came on his Lieutenantâs cock, imagining he was the one balls deep inside you. âCome on, love, cum for me.âÂ
And the shuddering moans he received was enough for him to spill over his hand. Panting heavily-he was barely aware enough to hear Ghostâs cursing gasps as he followed.Â
âEnjoyed the show then, Captain?â Johnnyâs voice was back, sounding equally out of breath as the rest of them. âShouldâve seen it in person-she played such a good girl when you got on the phone.â His words sent another shudder down his back.
âYou knew then?âÂ
âHad a hunch. Couldnât keep your eyes off of her.â Price groaned as his hand-the clean one-came up to cover his face. Heâd been that obvious. The whole time.Â
âDonât worry lad-sheâs already eager to see you again. Iâm always down for a good show-and Simonâs pretty interested in seeing how sheâd take both of you.â Well shit. The next pub meet was going to go very well for him.
#cod smut#john soap mactavish#john price#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#johnny soap mactavish#soap cod#ghost cod#captain price#x reader#writing#fanfic
224 notes
¡
View notes
Text
TRY AGAIN â JJH
PAIRING: jaehyun x female reader SUMMARY: if you could have it your way, you'd never have to see, hear, or even think about jeong jaehyun ever again. a fortuitous blind date, and that same dimpled smile after all those years, is somehow enough to make you reconsider. maybe he was always meant to be by your side. GENRE: exes to lovers! au, slight coworkers! au, romance, angst, slow burn, humour, some pining, a touch of smut WARNINGS: swearing, alcohol consumption, too many descriptions of coffee and wine, mentions of sex, general mature content and themes, reader is not good at talking about her feelings, joy x doyoung, i try to write about the complexity of relationships and personal growth (i fail miserably) WORD COUNT: 32.4k NOTE: oh. my god. it's finally here! there's certainly something different about writing for your ult. office scenes inspired by the internship i did at a big 4 firm that ended up rejecting everyone from my department (yes i'm still bitter). i actually wanted to get this out back in august to celebrate jolo but alas, Life. i guess this is a parting gift? (jaehyun i am nothing and nobody without you.) i poured a lot of heart into this fic and posting it feels like letting my child go out into the world alone... be safe my darling xx
You shouldâve brought an umbrella.Â
The early evening sky was darkening faster than usual, ominous grey clouds hovering between the skyscrapers like an unspoken but imminent threat. Though the ground was still dry, you had a feeling it wouldnât be for long. Your haste to leave your apartment this morning had robbed you of the good sense to check the weather forecast, mind too preoccupied with tonightâs agenda to spare a thought for the possible torrential downpour that summer seemed to be so fond of.Â
A glance down at your feet sent a twinge of annoyance through you. Of course you picked the black pumps to wear today. They were pretty, which was why you had slipped them on in the first place, wanting to make a good impression even if you told yourself you didnât really care that much, but they were also expensive, and you did not want to get them wet. You said a silent prayer. Hopefully the impending rain would be kind to the leather.
âYou better not be flaking,â Joy warned, voice crackling through your phone speaker. âI donât really care what he thinks of you for not showing up, but itâll reflect badly on me, and I canât have that.â
You suppressed a smile. Ever the drama queen.
âI am literally walking out of the station right now. The Italian place, right?â you asked, pausing for a moment at the top of the stairs to gather your surroundings. The restaurant she had picked out wasnât exactly an unknown location to you, but it had been a while since you last visited, and the buildings seemed to look back at you with a dazed unfamiliarity.
She gave an affirmative hum. âTwo streets down from the exit. The reservation is under my name, but I think he might be there already.â
âYippee. How exciting.â
There was a loud sigh from the other end of the line, and you could almost hear her rolling her eyes at you. âYou do know I set this up with your best interests at heart, right?â
âAre you sure itâs not because you were bored and needed to use some poor soul for your own entertainment?â
âHey, Iâm not the one who put three packets of salt in Jungwooâs coffee,â she fired back.Â
Okay, maybe that one was on you. But it had been pretty funny seeing him spit it out all over the office kitchen counter and then meticulously clean up the mess with paper towels, all the while eyeing everyone on your floor with suspicion.
âIâm just saying,â she continued, âgive him a chance. I think you guys could really like each other.â There was a pause. âPlus, heâs super fucking hot. Like if I wasnât happily taken I would be climbing him like a tree.â
âGross. Iâm filing a complaint with HR.â
âReporting me to my own department? Iâll make sure that file never even makes it through the portal,â she cackled at your empty threat, and you joined in with her. âSeriously though, just give him a chance. At least stay until the mains come out.â
âFine,â you acquiesced, though you made sure she heard the huff that accompanied it. âBut if he starts talking about cryptocurrency I am leaving.âÂ
Joy only laughed, assuring you he probably wouldnât, and bid you goodbye with a parting command for you to enjoy yourself.Â
On days like these, you couldnât decide whether you were grateful or unlucky to have been placed on a team with her for your first project at the company. Technically speaking, Joy was your senior by almost two years, but even at that first daily stand-up half a year ago, filled with nervous smiles and clumsy introductions, you had the feeling the two of you would gel. By the time that first project wrapped up, the two of you had long progressed past mere co-workers, having bonded over 8-hour days of Powerpoint formatting and your mutual dislike of olives. You had never been more thankful for someone so vivacious to show you the ropes, and help you settle into the new environment with such ease.
However, Joy was a meddler.
Her meddling was what had you currently navigating the crumbly asphalt in your nicest shoes to meet the apparent hunk she had set you up with. You didnât know much about the guy since she refused to give you his name, afraid youâd search him up on social media and then make up some excuse to back out once you had seen his face â like you had done with the previous two that sheâd picked out for you.
Apparently, this one was from the Digital department, and had been at the company for a little over a year. Those were two out of the three pieces of information that she had deigned to bestow upon you, the third being that he had dimples, which she thought youâd appreciate.
Oh, and now the fourth one being that he was âsuper fucking hotâ.
Who knew? Maybe you would enjoy yourself. Getting back into the dating scene was pretty low on your priorities, with your career and trying to stick to a consistent gym routine taking up the majority of your time, but you were never opposed to a bit of fun.Â
Maybe Mr Super-Fucking-Hot could be a bit of fun.Â
Just take it easy, you thought to yourself, spotting the glass windows of the restaurant as you rounded the corner. Il Giardino, read the sign that hung above the door. Cute.
Hastily, you shifted your bag and cardigan to the other arm and smoothed out the creases in your black trousers. You had tried for something a little dressy, but also office-appropriate since you were coming straight from work, and not like you had tried too hard and spent an unnecessary number of hours thinking about what to wear on this stupid blind date. Another quick glance at your reflection in the window, just to make sure there was no food or lipstick in your teeth, and you pushed past the door.
Soft jazz filtered through your ears as you stepped inside. The restaurant was nicely decorated, a few vintage Italian posters hanging on the exposed brick walls, and an overall rustic feel that paired well with the warm, earthy ambience. Judging by the patrons already seated, this place was a popular date night location, with all but one table occupied by couples sharing soft touches and flirty smiles over half-filled glasses of red wine.
Joy certainly knew how to pick a spot.
You gave the smiling hostess Joyâs name for the reservation, managing a weak smile of your own when she informed you that the other half of your party had already arrived, and followed her through the tables further into the restaurant. Outside, the first few raindrops had begun to splatter against the asphalt, slowly darkening the road with wet patches that were sure to grow into puddles. It seemed you had arrived just in time to escape the rain.
The hostess stopped at a more private table towards the back, and gestured towards the empty seat with that same welcoming smile. Mystery man, aka Mr Super-Fucking-Hot, was sat with his back to you, leafing through what you assumed to be the drinks menu. His silhouette from behind was alright-looking, you supposed, if you really had to put a label to it, but there was something vaguely familiar about the shape of his head. Perhaps you had crossed paths in the office lobby before?
You approached the table, trying to sneak a peek of him out of the corner of your eye, just to see if he lived up to Joyâs oh-so-generous description, without being so painfully obviousâ
And froze.
âIs everything alright?â the hostess asked, still beaming at you.Â
You barely heard her through the cotton wool that seemed to suddenly fill your ears, hands instantly clamming up as you took in the man in front of you. His warm eyes widened a fraction of a millimetre with recognition, quickly followed by something else you couldnât place.
This was not happening.
âIs everything okay?â the hostess tried again. The corners of her mouth were beginning to slip, and she cast you a mildly concerned glance.
How strange you must have looked, standing stock-still beside your reserved table like a statue. The only things that could dispel the notion you had suddenly turned into stone were the light flush to your cheeks, and the deafening pounding of your own heart that you were sure the whole restaurant could hear.
âEverythingâs fine, just give us a minute please,â Jaehyun finally said, flashing the hostess a kind smile. She took her cue to leave, but not without another curious look between the two of you, hurriedly brushing away the waiter who was approaching the table and preparing to rattle off the specials.Â
Hearing his voice seemed to break the spell that had rendered you so immobile. You straightened, shifting your bag higher up your shoulder, and turned to leave. Whatever this was, you were not entertaining it.
Chair legs screeched abruptly against the floor.Â
âWait,â he pleaded.Â
Your eyes landed on his hand latched around your wrist first, before they moved to his face again. Slowly, his fingers loosened, but he kept you in his hold.Â
âWill you sit, please?â he asked softly.Â
You looked at him. Really looked at him, taking in his full, straight brows, the slope of his nose, the pinkness of his lips. His cheeks had slimmed since you had last seen him, allowing the sharpness of his jaw to really come through. Breathtakingly handsome as he always had been. A little older, a little more masculine, and yet somehow still the same.
And maybe because you still saw him, the boy that you loved, the first and likely only boy you had ever truly loved, you did sit, sliding into your chair like it was made of ice.
âItâs been a while,â he began, lowering back into his seat. You gave no indication that you had heard him at all, eyes focused on the flickering tealight candle at the centre of the table. The wax was a pinkish red colour, and the light scent coming from it was sweet, with a touch of tartness. Pomegranate, maybe. At your silence, he cleared his throat and tried again. âHow have youââ
âDid you plan this?â
He pulled back a bit, as if in genuine shock. âNo, I swear, I had no idea it was you. Joy only told me it was someone from her department, and that you were pretty, and she thought youâd be my type.â A pause. âDid you?â
Your reply was icy. âWhy would I plan to see you?â
He looked away at that, sucking in a breath through his teeth. You were probably mistaken, but something akin to hurt flashed in those eyes as he gave a short nod at your words. Likely a trick of the light. It was a little too dim in here. What reason would he have to be hurt? Why would he be bleeding when you were the one with cuts all over your hands from picking up the glass shards of your own broken heart?
An uncomfortable beat passed. âWell, Iâd say it was nice to see you, but you know Iâm not good at lying,â you said. Shouldnât have sat down in the first place.
Grabbing your bag and cardigan, you made to stand up again, regretting your decision to come here, regretting giving in to Joy so easily, regretting leaving the house this morning without a stupid fucking umbrella. The drizzle outside had turned into a downpour in no time, and the street drains were definitely going to clog up tonight.Â
Seoul and its fucking summer monsoon season.
âCan we justâplease, can youâfuck. Can we have dinner and just talk? As friends?â His hand shot out across the table, as if itching to grab yours again, but thought better of it, letting his fingertips rest against the edges of the linen napkin you hadnât even bothered to unfold.Â
A refraction of light from his sleeve caught your eye. His cufflinks. He was wearing the cufflinks you had gotten him for your high school graduation all those years ago.Â
They had been expensive. Four months of pay from your part-time job at the ice-cream parlour was just enough for the pale pearls set in sterling silver. You supposed it would have been silly of him to throw them away when they were so valuable. It wasnât like you had thrown away the gold pendant he had given you either. That necklace hadnât hung around your neck for a long time, but it still sat somewhere in the depths of your jewellery box, underneath all the newer ones you had bought for yourself or received from friends over the years.
âFine,â you found yourself saying. âSure. As friends. Why not?âÂ
Sinking back into your seat, you reached for the wine menu immediately. Enduring the next hour in the company of your ex-boyfriend without a drink? Unbearable. As much as you liked to convince yourself you were over him, from your behaviour tonight it was clear you most certainly were not, and only alcohol could soothe that blow to your pride.
Your eyes flitted down the page of reds, then the whites, then the sparklings. Christ, the prices in this place were not pretty. Joy would have to be in a completely separate tax bracket from you if these were the kinds of establishments she frequented.Â
For a brief moment, you thought about ordering the most expensive bottle on the list â a Penfoldâs 2018 Shiraz â just to be spiteful, but decided against it. If you were really going to be sharing a meal âas friendsâ, he would not be footing the entire bill. You wouldnât let him.
The waiter, under the impression that things had somewhat cooled down, finally approached your table, albeit a bit cautiously. Hearing but not really listening, you let him sing praises about the wild mushroom ravioli, ordering it just to save yourself the effort of reading through the rest of the menu. When he reached the beverages portion of his spiel, you settled for a more reasonable bottle, a 2021 merlot.
It was only once he had left to put your orders in that you realised that you had not even checked if Jaehyun was driving tonight.
âIâll pay for the wine, if youâre not drinking,â you said, fiddling with your napkin. You could probably finish the whole bottle yourself anyway. Maybe that would make it easier to look him in the eye.
âYou really donât need to do that,â he replied, voice soft but firm. The weight of his eyes on you was almost a tangible thing. âIâll have a glass.â
Your waiter returned, making a show of uncorking the bottle before pouring it out into both your glasses. You couldnât down the first one fast enough, draining half the contents in one long mouthful like it was your first taste of water after finishing a marathon. Jaehyun was more deliberate with his glass, taking only a few small sips before he set it down on the table again. If he noticed the speed at which you emptied yours, which it was pretty hard not to with the way you were gulping the wine down, he said nothing.
God, this was fucking awkward.
âSo,â he began, trying to mask the crack of his voice with a cough, âwhat made you agree to this thing?â
You reached for the bottle. âFelt like I owed it to Joy,â you said, pouring yourself another glass. âI flaked out of the last two she organised.âÂ
Maybe you should have just gone on that first one with Taehyung, or Taehyun, or whatever his name was. Then you could have avoided this situation altogether.Â
âSo you do this kind of thing a lot, then?â came his careful question.
You were curt. âNo.âÂ
He blinked a few times, the movements slow with confusion at the abruptness of your answer. You knew you were being difficult. You wanted to be. Five years could heal most things, but unspoken words could linger like splinters under your fingernails, festering below the surface. Calluses had hardened over the splinters of your breakup, tough and protective, but now it was as if they were pushing through to the surface again, your fingers newly tender at the sight of him after all those years.Â
A small part of you wanted to give him a taste of your hurt, wanted him to feel the prick of tiny wood chips in the flesh behind his nail beds. The larger part, however, knew malice would do no good for you. You had survived the pain. There was no reason to survive poison as well.
âNo, I donât,â you tried again, a little softer, a little less jagged around the edges. âI think she just likes to set them up for fun. This is my first time on one of these blind uhâŚâ The word date sat heavy on the tip of your tongue but refused to budge. âOne of these things.â Maybe another mouthful of wine would wash it down.
âHer definition of fun can be rather interesting,â he said, politely filling the silence.
You hummed in agreement, raising the freshly filled wine glass to your mouth again as you scrambled around in your head for something, anything to say. It had been a while since you had last been out on the dating scene, and you were well aware of it, but good grief, it was like your conversational skills had evaporated into thin air.
âHow do you know Joy?â was what you decided on after a deliberately slow sip.
Thankfully, Jaehyun seemed to still know how to carry a conversation. âSheâs one of the HR reps for Digital, so weâve spoken a few times before. And her boyfriend is a friend from university.â He paused to take a sip of his wine. âHave you met him?â
You shook your head lightly. âNo, not yet. Hoping to, soon.âÂ
âYouâll like him. Doyoungâs a great guy. Patience of a saint.â
âHeâd have to be to keep up with her,â you said, hints of a chuckle sprinkled in your voice.Â
Something about the fact that he was already privy to more of Joyâs personal life than you were had a sliver of jealousy wriggling in your stomach. She was supposed to be your friend, and yet you knew very little about Doyoung besides his name, while your ex-boyfriend across from you had been buddy-buddy with him for probably years and years. Not that it was a competition to see who held more information about their coworker outside the office, but the feeling that you were somewhat losing didnât sit well.
âItâs actually my first time on a blind date as well,â he said, allowing himself a tentative smile. âYou know how convincing she can be. I mean, I donât think Iâd ever go on one if she hadnât roped me in. It feels a bit silly meeting up with a complete stranger, you know?â He turned his smile to you, still tentative but coloured with a tinge of hopefulness, like he wanted you to understand, like he knew you would.Â
How could you not? There had once been a time where you believed that you and Jaehyun had been two halves of the same soul, carved into existence from the same stone. There had once been a time where you knew him almost better than he knew himself.Â
A time rather distant from now.
You kept your answer non-committal. âSure,â you murmured, wishing his pretty face wouldnât fall so quickly at your nonchalance, wishing you hadnât caught the slightest droop to the curve of his mouth. Everything about him was still too familiar. âIâm just a bit surprised to hear that, I guess. You were so desperate to meet new people back then.â
Three seconds passed in silence.Â
His eyes dropped to his lap, as did yours to your own. This previously reasonable bottle of merlot was loosening your lips rather unreasonably.
âSorry, that wasââ Unnecessary? Mean?Â
True?Â
âI didnât mean to say that,â you finally managed, the words spilling out of your mouth in a tumbled rush.Â
Or maybe you had.Â
Jaehyun could only flash you a weak smile. âItâs fine,â he said, though you both knew it wasnât really.
Frigidity returned to the air between you, stopped just short of freezing over by the reappearance of your waiter, along with a plate of goatâs cheese arancini. Jaehyun politely gestured for you to eat first, watching as you speared the crusty surface with your fork and moved it over to your own plate. For a few seconds, the only noises that could be heard from the table were the clinks and clanks of stainless steel utensils against ceramic plates. The arancini could not have come at a better time, affording both of you the opportunity to hide behind the guise of eating, and put off the need to make strained conversation, even if the time it bought you was fleeting.
Meet new people. Those were the exact words he had said to you all those years ago. Han River on a Tuesday night, cherry blossom petals fluttering through the balmy April air, the iciness of winter finally melting away into a distant memory to reveal fresh green carpets and vivid blooms â few things could have been more romantic. Spring is the season of love, they said.Â
But for you, spring was the season of loss. It was the season when love ended, when love could be taken back and snatched away in the blink of an eye. On a Tuesday night in April, you learned that your love was not just not enough, but that it was a burden, an obstacle between Jaehyun and living his life to the fullest. That time spent with you was time squandered. That you were robbing him of the complete university experience, and to an extent, his youth.
Jaehyun had always been a wanter. He wanted boldly and he wanted freely, never dwelling too long on how his wanting could appear in the eyes of others, never shy about his desires. When he was ten years old, he wanted a dog, despite the reddening of his nose and the watering of his eyes whenever heâd get within armâs distance of the bichon frisĂŠ. In tenth grade, he wanted you, with cans of peach soda and sweet little notes in your locker until you finally said yes to being his girlfriend after three days of public pursuit.Â
(You had arguably wanted him more, and for longer, though nobody had been none the wiser â you were rather good at hiding your feelings.)
Two months into your first year at university, his wants changed. He wanted more space and more freedom to meet new people. He wanted to be able to attend club social outings, and get to know his seniors, and play drinking games with his new roommates, instead of trekking to the other side of Seoul every week to see you, his girlfriend, who had now become his obligation.
It would have been a lie to say you hadnât noticed a shift in his behaviour in the months leading up to that fateful night. Smiles had become a little wearier. Texts had become sparser. You had chalked it up to the challenges of settling into the new routine and rigorous coursework, and the distance between your schools that occupied opposite sides of the city. Sure, the hour-long subway ride from his campus to yours wasnât the greatest asset to your relationship, but 18-year-old you had remained optimistic it would endure whatever curveballs your first year of university and the beginnings of real adulthood would throw at you.Â
You had survived the CSAT together and emerged in one piece. What else could be harder than that?
âYouâre right though,â he said quietly, eyes fixed on his own piece of fried goatâs cheese. âI guess I was.â
You let your fork drop with a soft clang. âLetâs not, uhâwe donât have to talk about that.â Pink petals were swimming at the edges of your vision.Â
Please, letâs not talk about that.
A flicker of something behind his eyes could almost convince you he wanted exactly the opposite of your unspoken plea. Maybe this was a conversation he didnât actually want to avoid the way you so desperately did.Â
And maybe he would have said something too, if not for the waiter who returned at that precise moment.Â
âThe mushroom ravioli,â the waiter announced, setting the plate down in front of you, âand the amatriciana spaghetti. Enjoy.âÂ
Four pieces of pasta covered in sage butter looked back up at you.Â
You made a mental note to never order ravioli at an Italian restaurant ever again.Â
The sound of scraping utensils returned to your table, lightly blanketing the stilted pause in conversation with idle noise. Without much enthusiasm, you sliced at one of the four pieces of your ravioli, throwing what you hoped were sneaky glances at the full plate of spaghetti sitting in an appetising red sauce laid out before your ex-boyfriend.Â
âDo you want to try mine?â
Sneakiness had never been your forte.
Your polite refusal came quickly, even if it was rather weak to your own ears, but Jaehyun was already twirling a portion out onto the share plate the waiter had kindly provided a few minutes earlier. He made sure to scoop some sauce and pancetta bits on top as well, before gently pushing the plate towards you.Â
âThanks,â you mumbled, though you made no move to dig in.
Everything wasnât supposed to feel this familiar. You werenât supposed to soften so easily at the sight of his dimpled smile. You werenât supposed to feel that strange tug in your chest at his thoughtfulness, at the way he could still pick up the slightest change in your expression. And maybe the bar was too low, and here you were fawning over nothing more than the bare minimum, because what guy would see his date enviously looking at his food instead of her own and blatantly ignore it?
But with Jaehyun, it was different. You knew it was. Within every action, there was familiarity and practice, there was thought and care, there were years of history that were unerasable, even with the passage of time. You werenât the same wide-eyed teenagers now as you had been then, and yet scenes from the rest of that excruciating first semester flickered in your mind.Â
A silent breakdown during a business administration lecture. Your roommateâs concerned expression when you decided to skip dinner again.
The tug in your chest was leading you back into dangerous territory.Â
For the third time tonight, you debated grabbing your things and walking straight out. You had only promised Joy that you would stay until the mains came out. If you were going to leave now, technically, you would still have fulfilled your end of the promise. Arguably, this wasnât the best time to make an exit â fifteen minutes earlier would have been much better so that the kitchen would have time to cancel your stupid ravioli before they started preparing it. Leaving now wouldnât be the most optimal, but it was still an option. A tad heavy on the dramatics, but you could live with that. Youâd just never be able to step foot in this establishment again.
A shame. The spaghetti looked good. Youâd have to search up if this place did delivery.
âYou can go if you really want to, I wonât hold it against you,â Jaehyun said quietly. His eyes were fixed on the fork he was twirling through his dish. You supposed you shouldâve been surprised at the way he could read your mind without even looking at you, but you couldnât find the energy in you to pretend.
âBut,â he continued at your silence, âif youâre willing to stay, Iâd really like it if we could just catch up?â At this, he finally met your eyes and offered a small smile. âIt has been a while, after all.â
Maybe it was the sincerity contained in those soft brown eyes. Maybe it was because you really did want to try the amatriciana spaghetti while it was hot and fresh off the stove. Whatever it was, you found yourself resolving to stay, despite all the reasons not to, despite the sound of them loud and clear in your head, ready at your disposal. Allowing yourself to indulge in nostalgia once in a while couldnât be that bad for you. Right?Â
So you stayed. And you ate (his spicy amatriciana scored a landslide victory over your mushroom ravioli). And you talked. As two friends would do, catching each other up on the things that had shaped your lives since you had gone on your separate ways.Â
Conversation was clunky at first, that was to be expected. Even the closest of friendships would encounter some choppy waters when reconnecting for the first time after five years. But conversation with Jaehyun gave way to smooth sailing much quicker than you would have expected. He still wore the face of the boy who would sneak an extra serving of fried sweet potato from the cafeteria because he knew you liked them, but he wasnât quite the same. Older, certainly. Maturity wasnât something that went hand-in-hand with age like you had thought when you were younger, but he was more mature too. Surer of himself, and his place in the world.
You heard of the summer he spent in the UK after graduation, visiting his uncle and their family, appreciating classical architecture and the leisure inherent to rolling green hills that he hadnât been able to find in the metropolis he had grown up in. (The food, however, was an entirely different story. He had never been so overjoyed to see a bowl of rice that wasnât covered in mushy peas or sitting in a puddle of questionable-looking curry.)
He learned of your semester exchange in Amsterdam, including the unfortunate incident involving you, a runaway bicycle, and the freezing water of the Dutch canals. Fortunately, a nasty cold and two weeks in bed over the Christmas break were the worst things that came of it. Those few months had been eye-opening, to say the least. Stepping outside of your own bubble had made you realise how much more there was to the world, and how little you knew of it.
Yes, Jaehyun had changed, but then again so had you. The realisation dawned halfway through dessert, slowly settling over you as you spooned at the tiramisu in the centre of the table. Perhaps it hadnât been fair to him that you had been harbouring this seed of antagonism towards him for all these years. He, so afflicted by youth, as you both had been back then, was only doing what he thought was right and necessary. Could you really fault him for that? You had seen enough of life now to know that sometimes, nobody was to blame.
There was a comfortable lull in the conversation before he spoke again. The sound of his voice drew you away from the window, where you could see that the rain had slowed from the earlier dramatic downpour to a lighter shower.Â
âI know I probably wasnât who you were expecting today,â he said, a little hesitant and gauging your expression.
âYou definitely were not.â You gave him an amused half-smile over the rim of your barely-filled glass, which he returned. The bottle of merlot sat tall and empty on the table.
âI just wanted to say,â he began, taking in a breath, âIâm glad it was you. It was really nice to see you again. And Iâm sorry if you were disappointed that it was me.âÂ
There was something sad in the curve of his mouth, you thought. It tempered the warmth in his eyes.
âIâm not disappointed,â you heard yourself say. âReally.â
It was the truth. You knew he could see it written across your face. Dishonesty and insincere flattery were not familiar weapons you wielded. He knew that. He knew you.
Jaehyun sat back, bringing his own glass to his lips and draining the lingering contents. Perhaps to hide the private smile that broke out across his handsome face, which you pretended not to see, turning your attention back to the raindrops pattering against the window.Â
The evening air was cool on your bare arms when you stepped out, taking shelter under the awning in front of the restaurant. You werenât the only one who had forgone a weather app consultation today. Jaehyun stood beside you, hands tucked neatly in the pockets of his slacks, a not unwelcome companion while you waited for your taxi to arrive. Heâd call one later, after he made sure you had gotten in the car and were on the way home.
âI guess Iâll see you around?â he asked, tone light.Â
You cast a sidelong glance at him. His profile was backlit by the warm light emanating from inside the restaurant, carving out the straight bridge of his nose, a soft shadow cupping the fullness of his bottom lip. Would there ever be a time the sight of him wouldnât take your breath away?
âMaybe,â you breathed. Letting him back into your life wasnât a decision you felt ready to make yet, and you had no intention of promising him anything you couldnât be sure youâd be able to deliver. Even if you would only be promising him friendship.
He didnât push it further and hummed in understanding. Then your taxi was pulling up in front of the restaurant, the splash from the tyres just missing the hem of your trousers, and you were bidding him goodbye, staring a second too long at the dimples that appeared, and trying not to step in a pothole puddle as you clambered rather ungracefully into the car.Â
But because realisation was never punctual, it was only when you arrived home, carefully kicking off the black pumps and patting them dry with a microfibre cloth, that you realised two things.Â
First, you had left your cardigan at the Italian restaurant.
And second, Jaehyun had footed the whole bill.
There was a reason the seventh floor was your favourite floor in the building.
It wasnât because of the little in-office cafe with the cute but ridiculously overpriced pastries that tasted even better than they looked, or the deceptively comfortable bean bag chairs by the far window that would always tempt you with a mid-afternoon nap every time you sank into one of them.
No. The seventh floor was your favourite because it had a Nespresso machine. Free use. Company-funded.
A seventh floor coffee was one of the only things that could get you to leave the comfort of your desk and willingly walk up two flights of stairs. (The elevators always took too long.) On Monday afternoons like these, after an entire morning swimming through attendance and sick leave reports from the last quarter, the promise of a smooth and velvety cappuccino felt like your only hope for humanity. Unfortunately for you, it seemed like everybody else had the same idea, if the line in front of the coffee machine was anything to judge by.Â
âYou should have told me!â
You gave Joy an incredulous look. âRight. Because I definitely knew exactly who he was.â
âWell, you could have worked it out. Youâre a smart girl.â
âYou said a total of three sentences about him.â
She paused, fixing you with a contemplative stare. Her eyebrows were doing that weird lifting thing when she was running something through her head. âFive sentences,â she finally managed, tapping around the rim of her empty mug.Â
Why she came up with you at all when she wasnât a coffee person, would probably take two sips of the espresso, and then complain it was too bitter, was beyond you. Sometimes you wondered if she was really that good at her job, or if her workload was just so non-existent that she could take five coffee breaks a day. It couldnât be the latter, because you had seen that her calendar was full for the entire morning.
âLetâs not spend the next fifteen minutes talking about last Friday,â you sighed, already pushing thoughts of dimpled smiles and warm eyes to the far corner of your mind. Hopefully not to be revisited for a while. âI want my head outrageously blank while I enjoy this cappuccino. Swear to god Junmyeon is trying to drown me with those leave reports.â
âYou know he only assigns them to you because youâve never told him you hate doing it.â
âHe assigns them to me because Iâm the only one available who can get it done properly. Youâre always blocked out, and Jungwoo has that weekly coaching session. Jisung tried to help me do it this morning, and he didnât even separate paid from unpaid leave. The numbers looked like we were bleeding PTO.â
She gave you a sly smile. âYou know you can block yourself out too,â she said off-handedly.Â
âYou can what?â
This was new information.
âYouâre telling me someone else could be sifting through that 70-page file if I just schedule in a random meeting with myself?â you asked again, to which she nodded.
âHas yet to fail me. But make sure you name it something that makes sense, and donât do it all the time, otherwise itâll look suspicious.â
Corporate bullshitting was a fine art, and you were beginning to realise you were still but a novice at it.Â
âAnd lay off the intern,â she added. âHeâs just a child.â âHeâs taller than Junmyeon.â
âA child in spirit, then. You know what I mean. He sort of reminds me of a cute little mouse,â she mused, trailing off. If her apartment complex didnât have a pet ban, you had a feeling she would be taking in every stray animal off the street.
However, she was right. Jisung had been a bigger help than you had expected of a second-year commerce student. Even if it was just skimming through a finished presentation pack to fix up any typos and align text boxes, you couldnât deny that having an extra pair of eyes and hands had made your life a little bit easier. Maybe you would even miss him once his summer placement came to an end and the semester rolled back around. As long as there werenât too many more incidents like the one from this morning.
Speaking of this morningâŚ
âHey, does that mean youâve been making yourself unavailable so you donât have to read theââ
âOh look! The lineâs getting shorter. You should move up before someone cuts in.â
You shuffled forward, but not without throwing her a displeased look along with a grumble or two. Next time the quarterly attendance analysis rolled around, you were definitely making use of the trick she had just told you about. A quick glance up ahead. There were now three people in front of you in the line, but only one green capsule left on the rack.Â
Please, caffeine gods be willing, let that last one be yours. Â
âI canât believe I told you that I thought your ex-boyfriend was super fucking hot. I feel so icky, like Iâve betrayed you somehow,â Joy said, making a face. The dimpled smile fought its way back into your consciousness, and you suppressed the twist in your stomach that seemed to accompany every recollection of it.Â
âItâs honestly fine. Thereâs no way you could have known.â You shrugged, partly to reassure her it wasnât a big deal, and partly to shake off that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach.
The better part of your weekend had been spent trying to make sense of the night, after battling a merlot-induced migraine for most of Saturday morning and early afternoon. Three glasses had been a necessity to get through dinner, but it was ultimately overkill. You were no longer the girl from two years ago who took advantage of her afternoon class the next day by destroying a few soju bottles with your roommates. On a weeknight, too.
Joy gave your arm a soft squeeze. âStill, Iâm sorry I put you through that. Hopefully it wasnât completely awful?â
Completely awful, it was not. Awful at some parts? Maybe.Â
Truthfully, you hadnât been prepared to see Jaehyun again. Not to say that you had never thought about it â you definitely had, running simulations through your head about how you would run into him on the street, ignore his greeting and walk past him like he didnât even exist. But those were the musings of a heart-broken teenager, turning to spite and cheap endeavours at revenge to cope with the loss of her first love. Last Friday did have spite rearing its ugly head, but that spite was short-lived, and only one aspect that made up the whirlwind of emotions that came with seeing him again after all those years.Â
âNo, it wasnât all bad,â you were about to say, when your eye was suddenly caught by a movement up ahead.Â
A slender, veiny hand reached out to grab the last green pod from the coffee rack. You watched as the thiefâs fingers closed around the capsule and slotted it into the machine. He pressed the lever down â because of course, it was a man. Not only was he on the better side of the gender wage gap, but he also had to be ahead of you in the caffeine race as well.
The sound of the capsule being punctured was the final blow.Â
âMy coffee,â you lamented under your breath.
âHave some patience,â Joy chided. âWeâre nearly there. Youâre like a zombie when you donât have your little cup of bean juice.â
You shook your head glumly. âThe last Peruvian. I waited for so long. It was supposed to be mine, and he took it.âÂ
âWho did?â
âThe guy at the front.âÂ
Your eyes were still glued on the hand as it wrapped around the mug filled with your favourite blend, completely unaware that it had just robbed you of the only small pocket of joy you had been looking forward to all afternoon. Peering around the two people still ahead, your gaze travelled up his exposed forearm and the sleeve of the white dress shirt cuffed there. If only you could catch a glimpse of the face that had stomped all over your hopes and dreamsâŚÂ
The lady in front of you shuffled closer to the coffee machine and finally cleared your line of sight. Coffee stealerâs ear came into view before his face did, and he wasâ
âJaehyun?â
His name fell out of Joyâs mouth before you could even get your own to start working again and beg her not to call out to him. For a moment you were afraid you had conjured him out of thin air from the uninvited thoughts of him circling the outskirts of your mind. At least now you knew he wasnât a hallucination.
Jaehyunâs eyebrows pinched in confusion first, then surprise, before finally smoothing over with recognition. He offered a small wave, eyes flitting from Joy over to you, and then he was walking over, and you were fighting for your life trying to mask the panic that was bubbling away inside your chest.
You shot Joy a frantic look. Why did you do that?
I donât know! Sorry, said her returning one. The corners of her mouth were turned down in an apologetic frown, but she quickly schooled it into a smile at Jaehyunâs approach.
âIâve never seen you on seven before,â Joy said, the spitting image of friendliness, nevermind that you were beside her and desperately looking for an exit out of the incoming conversation. âYouâre always holed up somewhere on ten.â
You supposed you should have known this would happen sooner or later. Six months without running into each other when you worked at the same company, in the same building, was the exception, not the rule. You were just grateful Joy didnât try to bring up her clever little dinner setup that had been plaguing you the entire weekend, or try and rope the two of you into awkward and unnecessary introductions.
âSomeone told me I should come down and try the Nespresso machine. Apparently itâs really good,â he said, gesturing at the mug you had been staring at for the past three minutes.
âIt is,â were the first two words you managed. Both pairs of eyes shifted towards you, waiting for the rest of your comment to come, but you could only disappoint, the syllables hanging thick and dumb in the air.Â
There appeared to be some sort of blockage in your mouth-to-brain pipeline.
Joy cleared her throat lightly, throwing you a sideways glance. âWhich one did you try? They all taste the same to me, but she only drinks the green ones,â she said, ignoring the panicked twitch of your mouth. She knew full well that he was the one youâd been staring daggers into ever since he grabbed that stupid capsule. Your stupid capsule.
Jaehyunâs eyes flicked between your face and the steaming drink in his hand a few times.
âDo you want mine? I think I might have taken the last green one.â He offered the mug to you. âI didnât really know what to press, so itâs just a cappuccino. Regular milk. I havenât had any yet.â
âItâs fine, you should have yours. Iâll get another one,â you politely declined. No matter how much you liked the Peruvian blend, it was not worth the charity from your ex-boyfriend. Even if it was the only thing that could get you through the rest of the afternoon. Even if he was holding the exact thing that you had been planning on getting.Â
Hopefully the kitchen staff would restock those capsules by tomorrow.
The look he gave you was not a convinced one, but he didnât push further. With your dismissal of his offer, the three of you lapsed into a sticky silence. Even Joy, who was so adept at making topics of conversation out of nothing, had little to add, passing up the challenge of pulling meaningful sentences out of your mouth. The stifling tension between you and Jaehyun must have been more powerful than you thought.Â
âShoot, I think Iâm getting a Teams call,â Joy suddenly said, making a show of pulling her phone out and tapping the screen.Â
Liar. She didnât even have the app notifications turned on.Â
âI should probably take this, but Iâll see the both of you later.â She flashed a contrite smile, and then she was off, almost speed-walking her way down the stairs you had come up together, all the while pressing her phone to her ear with a little too much urgency for a mid-afternoon cold call. By the look on Jaehyunâs face, he hadnât been all that impressed by her impromptu theatrics either.
âAre you still in the line?â
âSorry, yes,â you muttered at the woman behind you. Clearly, you were not the only one impatient for their caffeine fix.Â
Finally, you were at the counter. You stared blankly at the rack of capsules. The empty space where the green ones were usually stored was glaringly obvious, jumping out at you while you skimmed through the other blends for a passable alternative. After many more seconds than would have been necessary to pick one flavour out of the remaining three, your fingers closed around a gold one. It would have to do for today.Â
Jaehyun watched as you dropped the capsule into its slot and made your selections. Why he was still here with you was somewhat of a mystery. You wouldâve thought that Joyâs hasty exit would have prompted him to do the same, saving the both of you from having to make bumbling small talk about the weather, or the weekend, or whatever else that two people working at the same company, with no other relational history, could talk about to fill in the silence.
Maybe he wanted to talk about the dinner bill. The fact that he had settled it, without you even noticing, had been weighing on your mind. It was less of a money thing â though you were pretty sure the total hadnât been a modest number â than a pride thing. Being indebted to others always left a smear on your conscience.Â
Being indebted to your ex-boyfriend was like someone had shit all over it.
Whatever. If he didnât bring it up first, you would. This was the 21st century. You were both financially independent adults. Splitting the bill on a first date didnât have to be such a contentious thing.Â
Although technically, it was far from your first. And it wasnât a date either, because you had refused to label it as such in your head.
The last few drops of milk and espresso trickled into the mug, before the machine stopped whirring altogether. You knew he was still there. You could feel his presence behind you. He had probably been waiting for the noise to stop so that youâd be able to hear him speak. Taking your mug off the stand, you turned to face him.Â
âYour cardigan,â he said.
âHuh?â
Confusion splashed over you. You werenât even wearing one today.
âI have your cardigan,â he amended. âFrom Friday. You left it inside the restaurant. One of the waiters brought it out, but you had left already, so I took it with me.â He scratched the back of his neck. âI have it now, if you want it back.â
âYou do?âÂ
âI mean, itâs at my desk. I brought it in today,â he added quickly, seeing the way you were looking about his person like you were expecting it to materialise into his hands.
You blinked a few times, trying to clear the brain fog that had decided now was the perfect time to strike. âYes, Iâthank you, um, for that. I can take it off youâŚ?âÂ
Had you meant to have it sound so much like a question? It seemed like your capacity for human speech was always afflicted by some sort of malfunction in his presence.
âOkay, uh, do you want to come up to my desk? Iâve got it there.â
The elevator ride up to the tenth floor was a short one. You could have taken the stairs just to get the extra steps in, but with both of you holding uncovered drinks, three flights of stairs combined with your clumsy fingers were a slip hazard just waiting to happen. Still, despite the short journey, the seconds inside the elevator seemed to drag on for much longer.
Before you could lose your nerve, you opened your mouth to crack the silence.Â
âLet me pay you back for dinner.âÂ
Good. It sounded good. Firm, but not overbearing. Hell yeah, you were getting the hang of this conversation-with-your-ex-boyfriend thing.Â
Jaehyun seemed a bit taken aback by that, turning to you slightly with surprise woven into the crease of his brow. âYou really donât need to do that,â he said after a beat.
The elevator dinged, and he stepped out through the sliding doors before you could form a coherent response. It took a second for you to follow, the coffee inside your mug almost making a dangerous appearance all over the elevator floor as you caught up with his strides.Â
âThink of it as me taking care of a junior colleague. I am your senior, you know,â he said over his shoulder, a smile gracing his features at the latter part.
âOnly by half a year,â you grumbled. âThat doesnât even count.â The light shake of his broad shoulders let you know he had heard your gripes over his attempts at enforcing seniority. His accompanying laugh was a soft one. You barely caught it above the noise of the tenth floor office.
The mellowed cosiness of the fifth floor HR department was hard to be found here. You were used to some chatter, with the occasional high-pitched laugh from Joy punctuating the air. On days he was feeling particularly jovial, Junmyeon could be heard humming from whichever desk he had decided to park at for the day (such was the beauty of hot-desking and hotelling). The few occasions you shared a table with him had allowed you to recognise the melody of The Beatlesâ Strawberry Fields Forever â always the same song, and he hummed everything except for the words âstrawberry fieldsâ, which he insisted on singing, albeit softly.
Nothing about Digital was soft or cosy. Except maybe the sofa in one of the open creative spaces. The floor buzzed with activity, from the influx of incoming call ringtones to agenda-packed meetings in conference rooms. A group of people were clustered around a floor-to-ceiling whiteboard covered in diagrams that were undecipherable to you, engaged in animated conversation while pointing at various parts of the board. Some of them greeted Jaehyun as he walked past with you in tow.
âI had no idea Digital was this busy,â you mused out loud, following him as he weaved through the desks.
He chuckled lightly. âWe like to talk a lot. And some of us can get a bit loud,â he said. The joking undercurrent to his voice had you thinking that the second part was said with someone in mind. âBut itâs more hectic than usual. Weâve just won a really big bid and Johnnyâs excited about his first time leading one of the streams.â He paused to wave and give a thumbs-up at the man standing at the very front of the whiteboard group (you assumed this was Johnny), who returned the greetings with just as much enthusiasm.Â
Jaehyun had always been a people person. That was one thing that would likely never change.
The two of you arrived at his desk, a quieter one next to the windows offering an almost unobstructed view of the city. He dug around his workspace, pulling out a Jo Malone gift bag.Â
âIgnore the bag,â he said, catching your wary expression. âI didnât want to stuff it in my duffel with the rest of my gym stuff.âÂ
You took it from his outstretched hand, with a quick glance to check that it was in fact your cardigan. The ribbed black fabric sat inside, folded neatly over itself.Â
âIt got rained on quite a bit, so I washed it. I hope thatâs okay.â
âOf course, thatâs kind of you, Jaehyun. You didnât have to.â For a moment, you wondered if he still used the same pine-scented laundry detergent. The smell of it used to cling to his school uniform, a burst of freshness you always sought during the muggy summer days.
âThank you,â you said, giving him a grateful smile. âI thought I lost it for good.â In your mind, you had already made peace with the fact that you would probably see the thing ever again. Yet all weekend, it had been taking up space in Jaehyunâs hamper, uncertain as to when it would finally be able to reunite with your closet.
You gave him a careful look.Â
âDid you plan on seeing me today?â you asked.Â
âNo. Yes. I meanââ The tips of his ears took on the faintest hint of a pink flush. âI didnât know if I would run into you, so Iâm glad I did. But otherwise, I was just going to give it to Joy and get her to pass it along to you,â he trailed off, gaze shifting sideways to the cityscape posted on the other side of the glass windows.Â
Neither of you had bothered with exchanging contact details after dinner, an oversight that was more deliberate than not on your part. His re-entry into your life was something you hadnât felt quite ready for. And yetâ
âDo you want my number?â
Stupid mouth. The words were out before you even registered that you had spoken. You prayed he wouldnât pick up on the unintended suggestion of the question, though judging by the quick raise of his left eyebrow, you werenât the only one who realised the other possible interpretations of your words.Â
âI mean, just in case something like this happens again. So you can contact me directly,â you added quickly. Heat slowly crept its way up to your cheeks. You hoped he wouldnât notice.
âSure,â he said, lips curling into a smile. âIf thatâs okay with you.âÂ
Considering you were the one who had said it out loud in the first place, it would have been strange if you suddenly decided it was not okay with you.
There was some fumbling with each otherâs phones, before you were typing your number to add into his contacts, and he was doing the same to yours. Would he realise yours was still the same string of digits as it had been five years ago?
âWell, Iâd better get going,â you said, handing back his phone. Now was as good a time to make an easy exit as any. You had planned on gossiping with Joy in the level seven kitchen for the rest of the hour, but back to your desk appeared to be the more likely destination this afternoon. 70-page files didnât read themselves. âThanks for the cardigan. Iâll see you later, then?â
Jaehyun looked like he had more to say, but you were already turning around, ready to leave the hubbub of the tenth floor. Ready to leave the presence of your ex-boyfriend-turned-friend? Acquaintance? You shook your head lightly. A drink was needed to unpack that box of worms.
A call of your name had you pausing mid-step.
âYour coffee,â Jaehyun said, tapping you on the shoulder to hand you your mug.Â
âThanks,â you mumbled, taking it from his grasp. You hadnât even bothered to take a sip of the non-Peruvian cappuccino, the surface still untouched. It was probably cold now. Maybe youâd pass it off to Jungwoo, this time sans the salt.
âYou know, if the dinner bill thing bothers you that much, you can just make it up to me later.â
You blinked at him a few times. âMake it up to you how?â
âAh, thatâs for me to decide,â he replied, a boyish glint to his smiling eyes. Both his dimples popped out, and you found yourself unable to choose which one to focus on.Â
Then he was moving, and you were left staring at the broad expanse of his back as he walked away. Head full of thoughts wondering what the hell kind of favour he would now hold over your head, you almost walked straight into Jungwoo as you came out of the elevator.
âHey, I got a Nespresso from seven. You want it?â you asked, offering him the coffee you stopped yourself from spilling all over him. He eyed the mug apprehensively.
âYou put salt in it again, didnât you?â
âNo? Where did you even get that from? Hang on, how do you know it was me?â
Jungwoo sucked in a breath through his teeth. âSo it was you! I knew it! You know, you really are a scary woman,â he grumbled. âWho ever would have thought an evil spirit lurked behind such a kind face?â
âSo thatâs a no to the coffee?â
âI donât trust you anymore, so no.â
âSuit yourself,â you shrugged, making your way back to your desk. The attendance reports stared back at you as you logged into the monitor, drawing a sigh out of you. You took a sip of the coffee.
And frowned.
You brought the mug to your mouth again. Like the first sip, the second was also lukewarm. But like the first sip, the second also tasted exactly the same as your usual Peruvian blend. Maybe there really was no difference between all the different coloured capsules, you thought, skimming through page 33 of the file.
That thing about realisation never being on time? Still true.
On the subway ride home, gripping the handle with all your might while sandwiched between two middle-aged men in stuffy suits, it dawned on you.
Jaehyun had given you his coffee instead.
âThanks everyone for dialling in today. Weâll chat soon.â
The screen reverted back to its default background as the call ended, and you let out a sound somewhere in between a groan and a whimper. Junmyeon did not look to be faring any better, head in his hands while his elbows rested on the meeting room table.
âCan somebody please tell Jackson and the rest of the Marketing heads that Summer Fridays doesnât mean they can just take Fridays completely off?â he groaned, the sounds escaping through the gaps in his fingers. âOur absenteeism looks like itâs at an all time high. Nayeon, youâre friendly with him, arenât you?â
The girl pressed at her temples. âI mean, we were in the same advertising and PR club back in university, if that counts for anything. But yeah, Iâll schedule some time with him and go over it.â
âGreat, thank you,â Junmyeon sighed, throwing his head back. âAlright, Iâll send around a debrief email later this afternoon. Thanks everyone for your time.â
You didnât have to be told twice. A second later and you were out of the eighth floor Marketing meeting room, already on your way to the Nespresso machine downstairs. Another coffee at 4pm was slightly pushing it, but you needed a pick-me-up urgently to wash away the gruelling two hours spent going through company policy with Marketing.
The buzz of your phone was a momentary distraction from your mission.Â
It was a message from Jaehyun. Something silly in response to a text you had sent earlier in the day.Â
jaehyun [04:07 pm]: in dire need of a fake mango right now jaehyun [04:07 pm]: mmm fake mango milkshake
The smile that crept up onto your face was almost like a reflex in the way it couldnât be helped.
Now that you were acquainted again, it was like you saw him everywhere. How you had managed to completely avoid each other for the last half a year or so was a fascinating mystery. Some mornings youâd run into him in the building lobby. Heâd hold the elevator doors open for you, and youâd exchange pleasantries on the ride up to the fifth floor, where youâd get off and bid him goodbye, or see you later. And see him later you did. Whether it was at the seventh floor coffee machine, or in line at the cafeteria on twelve, the sight of his face had become a nice interruption to the hours spent at a monitor, or in a call like the one you had just escaped.
He would come down to the fifth floor sometimes, stopping by Joyâs desk or yours to say hello and have a chat if you werenât busy. You found yourself wishing he would spend less time with Joy than he did with you â not because you wanted to see him more (because that was absolutely not the reason at all), but because he was steadily gaining a lead over you in the Joy friendship competition. The three of you had spent a few lunch breaks at the cafeteria together, granted that your schedules matched, with an odd appearance from Jungwoo every now and again.
You saw more of Johnny (loud) and Mark (louder), Jaehyunâs friends from Digital who youâd normally hear before youâd see them. Johnny was his âbeloved coffee mateâ (Jaehyunâs exact words) and possibly the only other person in the building who cared about the green Peruvian capsules as much as you did. Mark was⌠Mark, for lack of a better description. There was nobody the boy couldnât strike a conversation with. If he really needed to, you suspected he could probably get along with a wet paper towel.Â
You had been offered an invitation to join the three of them for one of their weekly lunches outside the company building. Johnny was more than happy to let you know he was somewhat of an expert at finding the hottest eats in the area, having put half his floor onto the cold noodle place he had sought out at the start of the month. And laugh as you had when he proudly told you about it, Johnnyâs influence was no joke. News of the restaurant had somehow trickled its way down to HR, with Junmyeon just the other day asking around the team if anyone had tried the place before.Â
Perhaps youâd join them next week. It was always nice to be ahead of the trend.Â
You arrived at the seventh floor kitchen and sighed. The rack was out of green capsules again. Although, maybe that was to be expected. It was nearing the end of the day, and the gold capsules were finished too. So much for a 4pm pick-me-up, you thought, though it might have been for the better â too much caffeine in one day always made you a bit antsy and had your resting heart rate up in the high 80s.Â
With empty hands and a pout on your lips, you made your way back to the fifth floor.Â
Joyâs eyes were glued to her screen when you walked past her. âJaehyun stopped by while you were in that Marketing call,â she said without looking at you, squinting at a spreadsheet.Â
âDid he?â you replied, trying your best at nonchalance despite the little flip of your stomach.Â
âAre you talking about her handsome friend from Digital?â Jungwoo peered around the table with a playful grin on his face.Â
You were back on good terms now, thanks to your promise to pay for his lunch from the cafeteria for a whole week to make up for the coffee incident. The look in his eyes right now had you thinking life was better that week where he had been afraid of you.
âYeah, thatâs the one,â Joy said distractedly in between clicks of her keyboard. âJisung, can you just double check these numbers for me? Iâm in the second tab of the Excel file.âÂ
The intern was quick to comply. You had a feeling she was his favourite senior.Â
âAnyways, I think he left you something.â
You made your way over to your desk, ignoring Jungwooâs oohs and ahs. Sure enough, there was something sitting next to your diary and the three empty glasses you hadnât had the chance to rinse out yet.
It was a coffee capsule. Specifically, it was a green coffee capsule.Â
There was a sticky note stuck to the back of it, which you turned around to read. His handwriting was still identical to that of the silly little notes he used to leave in the margins of your home economics workbook.Â
saved this last one from johnnyâs clutches. enjoy ^.^
Despite the jitters from the end-of-day caffeine fix, you smiled the whole way home.
âIâve found a way you can make it up to me.â
You pulled the phone away from your ear to check the screen. 9:34 am. The Saturday morning still had you in its clutches, and it took a few seconds to process the sounds you were hearing.Â
âWho is this?â you croaked, sleep lacing your voice.Â
âItâs Jaehyun.âÂ
You sat up a little straighter against the pillows. âJaehyun?â you echoed.Â
âYes, itâs me. Do you not check the caller ID before you answer?â
You grumbled something about it being too early on the weekend to have your head screwed on properly, to which he laughed, a vivid sound even through the phone.Â
âDo you have plans later today?â
You hesitated. Technically, no, unless a hot date with Netflix and whatever leftover snacks you could find in your pantry counted as plans. You were due for a grocery trip soon. The three eggs and single sprig of spring onion in your fridge would not last for long. Cooking had never been something you enjoyed, especially not after a full work day, and yet living alone required so much of it. You didnât want to make up a non-existent dinner reservation, partly because you knew heâd be able to tell the untruth just by listening to your voice, and partly because something unpleasant niggled at your insides at the thought of lying just to avoid him. Â
âWhy, whatâs up?â you asked instead.
âWell, you know that jazz festival?â You gave an affirmative hum. âI have tickets for today. Mark and I were supposed to go together, but he just called me saying he canât make it. Something about a leak in his apartment from all the rain. SoâŚâ
You stifled a yawn. âSo?â Your brain was still trying to catch up with the land of the awake and living.Â
âCome with me?â
The words took a while and a few blinks to register. When they did, your first instinct was to say no. Jaehyun was fine in small doses. A quick chat over coffee, sporadic texts throughout the day, conversation within the safety of a group setting â these were all fine. Manageable. Nice, even. But Jaehyun in the flesh, outside of the office, with nobody else around to buffer the strange sort of tension that seemed to always thrum between the two of you â that was an entirely different ball game altogether. Sometimes, a mere run-in was enough to have your heart going a little faster than usual, nerves lighting up at the unexpected sight of his face.Â
âI am not above begging. Please donât make me go to this thing by myself.â
And yet, there was a flicker of something pleasant and sweet, something akin to excitement that curbed the nervous flutter in your gut. You were fifteen again, waiting outside the movie theatre, a little too giddy at the thought of spending time with the boy whose sweet smile had become the cause of your stomach somersaults. And that was before you had even admitted to yourself that you liked him, as more than a friend.Â
âWhat time is it?â you found yourself asking.
So maybe you were seriously considering it. You had been meaning to put that new film camera to use. The thing had been collecting dust in one of your drawers ever since you bought it on a whim one night scrolling through Pinterest. Somehow, the rows of tables and monitors in the office didnât seem like the most interesting camera subjects compared to the scenes of concerts and beach bonfires that had driven your impulsive purchase.Â
âWell, the doors open at 11, but the first performer is at 12. And Lauvâs set isnât until later in the evening.â
âLauv is performing?â Your voice had gone up almost an octave, but you couldnât care enough to be embarrassed. This was a crucial piece of information. Now you had to be there.Â
He laughed. âSo is that a yes?â
âYes. Yes, itâs a yes.â The covers were flipped off your legs in an instant.
It wasnât that Jaehyun looked bad in slacks and a dress shirt. That was not the case at all. But you had grown used to them on him over the last few weeks, and the sight of his long legs in a pair of well-fitting trousers no longer caused a spike in your heart rate.Â
Jaehyun in casual clothes outside the office was uncharted territory.Â
The midday sun was strong outside the subway station. Clad in a black graphic tee over a pair of baggy green cargos, Jaehyun stood idly at the entrance, face hidden by the brown baseball cap on his head and eyes trained on his phone. How someone could look so gorgeous in something so ordinary was a secret only he knew the truth of. He caught sight of you from across the road, waiting for the pedestrian light, and raised his hand in a wave.Â
âItâs different seeing you out of your work clothes,â he said.Â
âDifferent good or different bad?â
A soft smile grazed his lips. âJust different. You look younger.â
âSo do you,â you replied.Â
You look like the boy I was in love with all those years ago.Â
âDid you taxi?â
âNo, I took the bus. Thereâs one that goes straight from my building. I didnât know you lived around here,â you mused to yourself.
âMy place is really close.â He pointed somewhere behind him. âFive minutes that way, tops. You should come over sometime.â
A slight pause. Jaehyunâs eyes flitted down to the pavement. You werenât sure if the heat in your cheeks was from the sun or something else entirely.Â
âAnyway,â he cleared his throat, âwe should probably go. It takes 40 minutes to get there, so if we leave now we should be able to catch the 1pm.â
The subway on the weekend was nowhere near as awful as it usually was during the weekday rush hours, but packed nonetheless. You definitely preferred being stuck in a carriage full of bright-eyed and chattering teenagers than the usual crowd of solemn-faced office workers. When a seat finally freed up, Jaehyun was quick to offer it to you, manoeuvring himself so that he could stand in front of you as you sat down. Toe to toe, the tips of his shoes grazed yours, and you were suddenly reminded of study periods at the library. The two of you could never agree on who first started the game of footsie under the desk.
âSee those girls over there?â you asked quietly, nodding towards a group of likely high schoolers down the other end of the carriage. Jaehyun turned his head to follow your gaze, catching sight of the girls who immediately erupted in whispers and giggles upon making eye contact with him. âTheyâve been staring at you for the last two stops.â
He was quick to turn back towards you, nose scrunching and slightly embarrassed. âKids these days are so weird,â he said with a soft groan. âWhy are they doing that?â
âYou know theyâre only staring because youâre handsome.âÂ
Despite the pinkness of his ears, he was smiling wide. âYou think Iâm handsome?â
You blinked up at him. âI didnât say that.â Did I? âI meant they probably think youâre handsome. Which is why theyâre staring. You know. Itâs nice to look at good-looking people.âÂ
The rushed explanations did nothing to shake the feeling that you had slipped-up somehow, and he had caught it. Jaehyunâs dimples only deepened at your backtracking.
âYou know what I mean,â you finally huffed, biting back a smile at the deep sound of his responding laugh. âWhatever. I think this is our stop.â
The festival couldnât have picked a better day to be held. The skies were clear and blue, and the air carried a light breeze that provided a welcome relief from the heavy stickiness of midsummer. It was a nice change from the sporadic rainstorms that had plagued the city over the last two weeks or so. Markâs leaking apartment was proof of the temperamental weather. If you had one bone to pick, the sun was a tad strong, but that was to be expected. You had come prepared, tugging the bucket hat down further to cover your face.Â
Alaina Castilloâs set was well underway by the time you and Jaehyun made your way into the venue grounds. A decent amount of people had already arrived, trickling in to fill up the gated area in front of the main stage. The two of you filed in with the rest, finding a place towards the back of the growing crowd where there was ample room to breathe without inhaling someone elseâs breath.Â
You had never been one for being stuck in a swarm of people. A harsh reminder of why that was the case appeared when, out of nowhere, a strangerâs elbow dug into your arm, knocking you sideways in their determined path towards the barricade.Â
The steadying hand around your shoulder was instantaneous.Â
âAre you okay?â Jaehyun asked, and you mumbled something affirmative in reply, trying not to dwell too much on the warmth of his skin on your bare arm. His eyes followed the stranger who was still pushing on through the crowd in front. âPeople really need to watch where theyâre going,â he muttered, brows drawn together in a frown.
The rest of the afternoon proceeded more smoothly. It was a little unsettling how normal and nice everything felt. Jaehyun kept close to you for the sets that followed, the distance between the two of you gradually shrinking as the crowd grew in size. The occasional brush of your forearms as you moved to the music was no longer something to jump at like you had the first time it had happened. You managed to snap a few pictures on your almost-new film camera, mostly of the artist performing, but there was one of you in there somewhere amidst the stage shots, taken by an insistent and smiley Jaehyun during one of the set breaks.Â
âSo this is why you wanted someone to come with you,â you said, sliding onto the bench and passing him one of the burgers from the food truck.
âItâs so much more efficient when you can line up for two things at once. If I was by myself, Iâd either wait for the beer and let my burger get soggy, or wait for the burger and let my beer get warm and flat. This way the food is fresh, and our drinks are ice cold out of the fridge.â
You cracked a smile. âAnd here I thought you called me because you enjoyed my company.â
âI do enjoy your company,â he said without missing a beat. âThe other stuff is just an added plus.â
You took a sip of the cold beer, hoping it would stave off the quick flush of your cheeks. Jaehyun said things so easily. Too easily. It was harder and harder to adhere to that invisible boundary you had been so adamant on protecting.Â
Why were you so reluctant to let him back in? Why all the walls? He made it too easy for thoughts like that to creep in and loiter in the back of your mind.Â
Evening had begun to settle, the brightness of the midday sky fading away to a twinkling twilight blue over your heads. The music was quieter at the picnic tables by the tents, where festival-goers sought respite from the main stage crowds with a cold beverage and something greasy. Between mouthfuls of an early makeshift dinner, you and Jaehyun sat in your own bubble, comfortably falling into conversation about the performances throughout the day, or whatever else happened to be on your minds. Â
âYour mouth opens so wide,â you said, watching as he all but inhaled half the burger in one go. His nose scrunched up as he tried to take the massive bite, and the sight of it was such a far cry from his usual cool guy image that you couldnât pass up the opportunity to snap a picture of it. The click of the shutter had him looking up at you mid-chew with a dismayed expression.
âThatâs not fair. You attacked when I wasnât ready!â
âIâd hardly call that an attack,â you said, not without a smile. âI was just getting a candid.â
He wiped his fingers on the napkin. âOkay, my turn then,â he said, gesturing for you to hand the camera over. You obliged, letting him point the lens at you and fiddle with the knobs along the top. His slender fingers navigated the controls with a practised ease.
âRelax,â he added softly, noticing your fidgeting. Twenty-something years, and you had made little progress in mastering the art of posing for photos. âPretend the cameraâs not here, and itâs just you and me.â
Right. Like that was supposed to make you loosen up.
âI actually used to be really into photography. Got pretty good at it too,â he said.
âReally? I donât remember that.â
âPicked it up in uni,â he explained. âHad all this free time on my hands and didnât know what to do with it. Besides drinking.â A pause. âHonestly, first year second semester was pretty rough after⌠you know.â
The last part caught you somewhat off-guard. After that fateful April night, you had always assumed Jaehyun was off living his best life, blowing through society events with the new friends he had made, maybe even letting a few of them warm his bed now that you werenât around. It wouldnât have been the biggest surprise. Even at nineteen, Jaehyunâs good looks were uncontested. His sweet and attentive personality was the cherry on top of an already delectable cake. Whatever he got up to when the sun set, you were none the wiser, having completely wiped his existence from your phone by the time your first semester exam period rolled around.Â
Though you didnât go as far as to block his number, he never reached out, and so Jeong Jaehyun became a relic of the past, embracing his newfound freedom now that he had shed himself of you, his unwanted baggage.
Or so you thought.
âBut yeah,â he continued, âI started getting into photography. Burnt a hole in my wallet trying out a bunch of different cameras,â he said with a chuckle. âI liked film the most though, I think. Itâs the only one I still use now.âÂ
âWhat do you like about it?â
He took a moment, pausing in thought. âThe colours, mostly. How itâs a bit muted, it has that vintage feeling.â You hummed in agreement. âSelfies on a film camera are fun as well.â
âYou must really like looking at yourself,â you teased, enjoying the sight of his ears flushing with colour from where they poked out above the camera.
âNot like that,â he said in reply to the raise of your eyebrows. âItâs more like⌠when you take a selfie on film, you canât see yourself, right? Whether the focus is focusing, or if the angle is right.
âOr if your whole face is actually in the shot, not just your right eye.â
âExactly. But then taking the picture anyway. Thatâs what I like.â He pulled away from the camera to flash you a small smile. âIsnât it funny, the way we try so hard to capture moments of time?â
Jaehyunâs attention returned to the viewfinder, leaving you to quietly dwell on his words. How else could one keep a piece of time stored away if not through photos? And yet, photography would never be able to capture the entirety of a moment the way a memory could. The sound of the bandâs bass guitar from the side stage in the adjacent garden. The smell of summer carried by the evening breeze as it ruffled through his hair.
The warm feeling in your chest as you sat across from him at this wooden picnic bench, surrounded by people, sharing wistful conversation and a basket of fries.Â
The feeling of coming home.
The shutter clicked.
âGot it. That last one is going to turn out so nice.â Jaehyun smiled triumphantly, cheeks dimpling. âIf you make this your profile picture you have to add the âphoto byâ. I need my credits.â
You blinked away the precarious thoughts. âAlright, mister photographer man, give it back now. Donât use up all my film before Lauv.â
He handed the camera back to you, looking very pleased with himself. The light from the nearby tents cast a dusky glow over his face. Jaehyun from Digital was sharp and polished. The Jaehyun before you now, with his hair dishevelled from taking off the cap earlier, was softer, more open, and more subtle in the way he had slipped under your defences and picked the locks chained around your heart.Â
The question now was whether youâd let him in further than you already had.
He tugged at his collar. âGod, itâs still muggy at night, isnât it?âÂ
âYou stay here, Iâll get us some more beers,â you said, already standing up.
If anything, you were grateful for the errand, a welcome distraction from the tumultuous battle between your heart and your head that always forged on at any thought of him. The line for the bar was no shorter than it had been half an hour ago, to nobodyâs surprise (this was a festival in Seoul, of course the queues would be severe) and it was a while before the two cold plastic cups were in your hands.Â
The short time away from him had given you the space to steer your mindset back onto the charted platonic course. A little voice in the back of your mind objected, and was making a damn convincing argument about why you should be more inclined to go beyond plain friendship with Jaehyun, but you chose to ignore it, suppressing the nagging with a deep breath and a smile that you hoped looked less conflicted than how you felt. Beers in hand, you carefully made your way back to the picnic table â only to be met with a rather interesting sight.
Jaehyun was still where you had left him, thankfully. But the two girls that now stood around him were a new addition.Â
âHey,â you greeted, tapping him on the shoulder to pass him one of the beers. The taller girl visibly deflated when he flashed you a grateful smile, taking the plastic cup from your hand. The shorter one, however, ran her eyes up and down your figure with an almost calculating gaze.
âIs this your friend?â the shorter one asked, question directed at Jaehyun.
âUh, yeah, umâhi,â you answered very eloquently, introducing yourself. You tossed a glance between Jaehyun and the two girls. âDo you umâare you guys friends?â
âWell, no, not really. Minjeong and Jimin just cameââ
âWe were actually going to ask if you guys wanted to join us up closer to the main stage?â the shorter one (Minjeong perhaps?) asked, flashing a sweet smile you suspected was more for Jaehyunâs benefit than yours. âWe have a blanket and a few chairs set up, so you can sit and watch the closing set. Itâs much more comfortable than standing inside the barricade.â
âJaehyun looked a little lonely by himself,â the taller one added.
Lonely because you left him for ten minutes to go get some cold drinks? These girls were unbelievable.
âWhat do you say? Want to join us?â
Maybe you shouldâve taken the group of highschoolers on the subway earlier more seriously as a forewarning. Not that you had any say in what Jaehyun could and could not do â he was his own person, and the closest thing you had to a claim on him had disintegrated years ago. If he wanted to go hang out with pretty strangers, he could go and do exactly that, and you didnât have to follow him either. The invitation had clearly been meant for him more than it had been for you.
So what if you had been looking forward to enjoying the last set together? You were a big girl. You could brave the main stage crowds by yourself if you had to.
Jaehyun glanced at you, searching your eyes while you tried your best to keep your face neutral and devoid of the uneasy thoughts bubbling away beneath your skin. He was his own person. He could make his own choices.Â
After a second or two, he seemed to find what he was looking for, and turned back to the two expectant girls with a polite smile. âWeâll take our chances with the pit,â he answered. âBut thank you for the offer. Thatâs kind of you guys.â
The two girls made their exit shortly afterwards, but not without a final look at him, and a decidedly less enthusiastic one at you. It was quiet for a few moments, the two of you sipping on your beers without a word, waiting for the other to speak.
âYou could have gone with them if you wanted to,â you finally mumbled, eyes fixed on the contents of your cup.
To your surprise, Jaehyun let out a soft chuckle. âI donât know if you noticed, but Iâm pretty sure Minjeong had an engagement ring on her finger.â
âOh, what?âÂ
You definitely had not noticed, too occupied by the saccharine looks she was throwing his way.
âYeah. It was a pretty big diamond too. I think she must have forgotten to take it off today.â
You turned to look at him then. Jaehyun already had his eyes on you, sporting a lazy grin. âCome on, you canât think Iâm the type to mess around with married women?â
âThatâs not what IâI didnât knowââ
âDonât worry,â he interjected. âYouâre still cute when youâre jealous.â
The quick heat rising to your face dispelled any of the remaining nonchalance in your expression. âI wasnâtâIâm not jealous,â you spluttered. âI was just worriedâI mean, not worried,â you paused, sighing. âI thought youâd leave me.â
His eyes sought out yours, keeping them captive once they grabbed a hold.Â
âI wouldnât leave you.â
The teasing brevity to his voice had disappeared. Somehow, you had the feeling he wasnât simply talking about the jazz festival. The sincerity in his gaze made it hard to look away, but you had to, in the name of self preservation. Too long staring into those brown eyes was an unnecessary test of the upper limits of your heart rate.Â
âMaybe she came with her husband. He could be up there on that picnic mat, waiting for her.â
He laughed, throwing his head back. âTrust me, if her husband was here, she would not have been looking at me like that.â
To their credit though, finding a spot to watch the main stage proved to be rather difficult now that everyone had arrived to catch the final act. For a moment you considered leaving the pit to take the two girls up on their offer. But with Jaehyun by your side, you were able to navigate the crowds with a bit more peace of mind, his presence a solid and comforting anchor within the sea of people. A few rogue pushes here and there had you stumbling â and perhaps the two beers on a rather empty stomach were coming on faster than you had expected â but he was there, steadying you with a gentle hand around your arm, or the light press of his firm chest against your back.
And maybe you leaned into him for longer than necessary to regain your balance, but was that really a crime? To enjoy the touch of a friend? Was it a crime for warmth to pool in the pit of your stomach at the sight of him swaying along to Lauvâs Enemies?
No, the little voice in your head denied forcefully. Jaehyun grooving to the music had always been one of your weaknesses.Â
As the closing chords of Paris in the Rain sounded out across the venue, you pulled out your film camera.
âWalking down an empty street.â
A gentle nudge of Jaehyunâs shoulder had him turning towards you, nose scrunched in a happy half-laugh from watching the performance. You moved to face the back of the crowd and raised the camera high, pointing it towards the two of you.Â
Was the stage in the shot? Was Lauv?Â
Were you?
âPuddles underneath our feet.â
Call it courage, or liquid courage, or just plain recklessness on your part. Rising up on your tiptoes, you pressed your cheek to his, and clicked the shutter button.Â
The final chord of the song struck, softly, like an afterthought, and the crowd burst into appreciative hoots and applause, marking the end of the performance.
You were beaming as you turned back towards him. âDo you think I got that one?â
Jaehyun simply stared at you, lips parted and turned up slightly at the corners. He looked more caught off-guard than he had when you had told him you thought all the Cigarettes After Sex songs sounded the same. You felt the glowing smile on your face slip, little by little, as you let his eyes roam your features, gaze indecipherable. They flitted to your lips, and for a second you were sure you stopped breathing.
Just do it! Just fucking do it! screamed that little voice in the back of your mind.
And perhaps you wouldâve done it too, whatever it was, if it werenât for the shove from behind that sent you almost face-planting into his chest.
âWhat the hell?â you yelped, whipping your head around.Â
What was with the people here today? You never thought jazz lovers could be so aggressive and insensitive to othersâ personal space. Trying to find the perpetrator was a futile task, since the crowd had started to disperse following the end of the performance, moving in all directions.
Jaehyun looked over you with concern, the earlier expression on his face now gone.Â
âCome on,â he finally said, fingers gently circling around your wrist. âLetâs get out of here before we get trampled by the crowd.â
Overhead, the blue-black sky that had been so cooperative for the whole day emitted a low rumble, as if to emphasise Jaehyunâs words. Sure enough, by the time the two of you arrived at the station, it had started to sprinkle. Perhaps the clouds had been holding back the rain until the very end of the festival. How considerate of them, you thought.
The ride back into the city felt shorter than the one to the venue, though it couldnât have been. Saturday nights were even busier than the weekday rush hour, with people young and old out and about, ready to tame the weekend with sheer determination and a bottle of soju in the stomach. This time, there were no free seats in your carriage, but you didnât mind. Standing with Jaehyun, your heads pressed together to go through the videos in his camera roll, made the time pass faster. There was something to his photos, you decided. Something in the angle, or the light, or the composition, that made them look nicer than the ones on your phone. Maybe you ought to take a photography course too.
The clouds may have been considerate enough for the festival to hold off dumping their contents during the day, but they certainly were not for the two of you tonight. Standing under cover at the subway station exit, you watched as the torrential deluge only seemed to worsen. Thunder cracked angrily through the air. It wasnât July without the threat of flash flooding.Â
âAny drivers around?â Jaehyun asked.
You gave a sad shake of your head. âNobodyâs picking up my request. Must be because of the rain,â you muttered. Overhead, the sky split open with a strike of lightning, startling you, and you jumped back a bit, further into the covered area of the exit.
âHow about the bus?â
âI think I just missed one,â you answered, checking the timetable on your phone. âIt says the next isnât for another twenty minutes. But with the rain, it might be delayed even longer.â
You flicked through the taxi app, then the bus timetable app, and then finally back to the weather app, which you always seemed to forget to check on days like this. Three consecutive 100% signs stared back at you, and you let out a sigh. The sky would not be clearing up anytime soon.
âMy apartment is only two streets down, if you want somewhere to wait out the rain,â he said.
You looked up at him. The smile on his face was guileless, but at the same time, there was something guarded about it, like he was expecting your rejection. Perhaps you had studied his face for too long, because then he was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and averting his eyes to the ground.
âOr you donât have to, we could justââ
âOkay,â you said.
His head shot back up. âOkay?â
You shrugged, a smile finding its way to your lips. âIâd rather not be soaking wet on the bus.â
âOkay,â he repeated, corners of his mouth turning upwards to mirror yours. âTo my place, then.â
The usual five minute walk to Jaehyunâs apartment from the subway station turned into a two-and-a-half minute mad dash under the downpour. Despite your attempts at keeping to storefront shelters and ducking under the cover of big trees, the short trip had ended up with the both of you drenched to the bone, teeth chattering as you dripped rainwater all over his lobby.
You said a silent apology to the building cleaners.Â
It was a relief to be dry again. Jaehyunâs sweats swamped you, the French terry fabric pooling around your feet as you sat on the couch in his living room. The top was no better, reaching almost to your knees, with the sleeves completely covering your fingertips. His clothes werenât always this big on you. At least he still used the same pine-scented laundry detergent.Â
The sound of the running shower blended smoothly with the raindrops pelting violently against the balcony window. You wrung your hands, unsure of what to do while you waited for him to come out of the bathroom. It was easy to feel out of place in a home foreign to you. The sleek furniture and minimalist colour palette of the apartment looked nothing like Jaehyunâs childhood bedroom.Â
Maybe you shouldnât have agreed to come to his place. While you were pretty sure he hadnât invited you up with any ulterior motives in mind, there was still something ambiguous about being in your ex-boyfriendâs home and wearing his clothes. And only his clothes.Â
You would have liked to keep your undergarments on, but they had also been soaked through. Going bare in these too-big sweats had seemed the less questionable option, compared to sitting with a wet patch around your butt and crotch. Heat flooded your face as you thought about your underwear and bra hanging on the heated towel rack in the bathroom.Â
Whatever. It wasnât like they were things heâd never seen before. And as for his clothes, of course youâd wash them before giving them back to him.Â
It was then that you decided that you had enough of sitting around in a puddle of fabric and your own thoughts. Jaehyunâs living room wasnât all that big, even if it felt roomier than your own, with enough space to fit a decently-sized couch and small coffee table. The tv on the far wall sat atop a rather large entertainment unit that, upon further inspection, also housed a record player and an impressive collection of vinyls.Â
You padded over, eyes flicking through the various titles printed on the covers. One of them had been taken out from the shelf and sat splayed on top of the cabinet. Maybe he had meant to play it, or just forgotten to put it away. Slowly, you let a finger trace around the edge of the jacket and over the black lettering of the title. Youâd recognise that white album cover anywhere.
Only you knew how much effort it had taken to source the thing, scouring auction sites and dodgy online stores until you finally bit the bullet and ordered it from a reasonable-looking seller with a 4.7 star rating. But it had all been worth it. The unadulterated joy on Jaehyunâs face as he undid the wrapping paper to reveal Frank Oceanâs Blonde was not something you could easily forget. Later, you found out that it had probably been a bootleg, since the official Blonde vinyls were a limited release, but he had hardly batted an eye when you broke the news.
âStill my favourite birthday present that anyoneâs gotten me,â Jaehyun said.Â
Dressed in a plain white tee and a pair of grey sweatpants, he leant against the bathroom door, surveying you with an easy smile. You must not have heard the shower turn off, the noise drowned out by the storm raging outside. His hair, still damp from the shower, hung over his eyes, and you watched as he brushed it back with his right hand, arm flexing with the movement.
The sudden flare in your lower belly was something youâd rather not feel, alone in these four walls with him, with nobody else around to witness or put a stop to whatever might follow. Youâd like to think self control was something you had a firm grip on, but it seemed Jaehyun was made to put you to the test.
âActually think it might be my favourite present ever,â he added, pushing off the door frame. He reached you in a few strides, maintaining a polite distance between your bodies.
âI didnât even realise you still had this,â you murmured, letting him take the record from your hands. You tried not to flinch at the brush of his fingers against yours. âYou didnât even have one of these back then,â you said, lightly tapping the case of the record player.
âI changed my mind, actually. The turntable is my favourite present.â
An unfamiliar twinge of dread zipped through you. âWho gave it to you?âÂ
Could it be an ex-loverâs gift sitting on display in his living room? That did not sit nicely in your stomach.
âMyself.âÂ
He was holding back a laugh, eyes squeezed into crescent moons and too busy appreciating his own joke to catch the quick roll of your eyes. Instantly, your chest felt a little lighter, and the dread vanished as quickly as it had come on.
âHere, let me put it on,â he said, shuffling over towards you to lift up the case on the record player. With gentle fingers and a delicateness you didnât see often, he unsleeved the record and carefully placed it on the turntable. A few fiddles with the side knobs and a precise adjustment of the needle arm later, the opening bars of Frank Oceanâs Pink and White filled the air of his living room.
For a minute, there were no words exchanged, the two of you simply content to enjoy the music as it filtered through the speakers. There was a quiet smile on Jaehyunâs face. You wondered if he, like you, was thinking of the last time you had listened to this album together.
The image of the two of you, sprawled out on his bed, sharing a pair of wired earphones, was hard to shake. It had been early evening, or nearly twilight. Sometime before sunset. The reflection on the ceiling of his childhood bedroom had changed along with the sky, until the only light left in the room was the dim blue glow from the laptop on his desk. At his motherâs call for dinner, he had gently shaken you awake, fingers light on your shoulder and against your cheek.Â
Jaehyun was undoubtedly handsome in the light. But there was something about dusk and the softness of the shadows on his face that made him all the more compelling. You usually werenât one to initiate, so the kiss you pressed to his mouth in the barely-lit room had surprised you both.Â
Even now, the thought strangely sent a flood of heat to your cheeks.
âSorry, did you want something to eat? I havenât been a very good host.â
The grumble of your stomach answered before you could. You bit back an embarrassed smile, but Jaehyun was not so frugal with his amusement, letting out a short chuckle. Your feet followed him as he made his way to the kitchen. Perched on the marble countertop, you watched as he rummaged through the fridge.
âI have eggs, yesterdayâs leftovers, and a shit ton of beer cans,â he announced.Â
You exchanged a glance.
âLetâs do ramen, actually. That sounds better.â He bent down to dig through the pantry, pulling out two red packets, before moving back to the fridge and getting two eggs. âI can crack these in too, andâwhy are you looking at me like that?â
It was your turn to laugh, the wide grin on your face a contrast to the cautious smile on his.
âAre we having ramen?â
His brow creased a little. âI thought you liked ramen?â The innocent tilt of his head made him all the more endearing to look at.
âI do, but⌠did you really invite me back to your place⌠to have ramen?â
It took a few seconds for the ball to drop. You held back giggles as his ears flushed hotly, as they always seemed to do on the occasions you decided to indulge yourself and tease him.
âCome on, thatâs notâyouâre doing it on purpose,â he said, bottom lip jutting out with the suggestion of a pout. Despite his grumbles, the shape of his mouth slowly settled into a defeated smile at your visible glee of having flustered him.Â
Jaehyun, soft-spoken and easy-going, was not the type to be easily ruffled. You excelled and enjoyed the challenge of it more than most.
âNo,â he said once your laughter had somewhat subsided, voice low and velvety. âBut I wouldnât be opposed.â
And suddenly it wasnât so funny anymore.
The silence that followed was a loud one. It was hard to ignore the way your mouth dried up at his words. Something warm and tingly spread from your stomach all the way down to your toes as you stood there under his level gaze, eyes drawn to his like magnets. He had to know. The effect his words had on you were surely plastered all over your face, obvious in the tight grip of your fingers against the countertop and the shortening of your breaths.
Jaehyun leaned in a little closer and you felt the inhale stick in the back of your throat. Then he cracked a crooked smile, pretty teeth all on display.Â
âDonât dish it out if you canât take it.â
He moved away then, busying himself with pouring water into a pot and bringing it to a boil while you tried to blink yourself out of the daze. âRamen okay?â he asked over his shoulder.
You cleared your dry throat, somehow finding your voice again. âRamen is fine. Thank you,â you added after a beat. You took a deep breath, waiting for the rush of blood to drain from your face.Â
Something sour settled in your chest â something akin to disappointment, though surely it couldnât be. Disappointed that what? Jaehyun wasnât actually sexually attracted to you? When you were obviously still attracted to him, despite all your attempts at convincing yourself you werenât?
You scoffed to yourself. As if.
A quick shake of your head was almost enough to clear your mind, save for the remnants of that sour feeling that lingered. You asked if there was anything you could do to help, not wanting to simply sit around on your thumbs and wait to be fed. He had insisted you do exactly that, warning you there was only enough space in the kitchen for one, and assuring that there was nothing he needed from you besides patience and faith in his cooking.Â
Patience you could give him. Faith was a little harder to muster, given your memories of the kitchen disaster from when he had tried to make okonomiyaki.Â
The questionable, half-burnt half-uncooked taste was one thing. You finding random pieces of cabbage on the tiled floor for days afterwards was another thing entirely.
However, it seemed Jaehyun had improved from his old ways. The steaming pot he brought over to the coffee table not only smelled delicious, but looked the part too. You helped carry over the small bowls and chopsticks, along with two cans of beer, despite his requests for you to just sit and be ready to eat.
You took the first bite, blowing on the noodles to cool them down before slurping them into your mouth. All the while, he watched you, an expectant expression painting his face.Â
âWow. Youâve grown up, Jeong Jaehyun. Who wouldâve guessed youâd become such a whiz in the kitchen?âÂ
He smiled, a bashful one at your compliment. âBeing able to cook ramen is nothing impressive,â he said, digging in with his own chopsticks.
âThere was no way you could have made this for me when we were 17. Look at this egg!â The centre was perfectly soft, not too runny, but not rock hard either. Just the way you liked them.Â
You took another mouthful. âYouâre a changed man,â you said. âHonestly, your place is a lot cleaner than I expected it to be.â
âThatâs what living with four other guys will do to you. I had to learn how to clean out of pure survival,â he chuckled.Â
âWas it really that bad?â
He grimaced. âYou shouldâve seen my dorm room. Basically a biological hazard.â
âThey didnât let non-students into the building. Your building RA was crazy scary, remember?â Even now you could remember the perpetual scowl of the law major when Jaehyun brought you into the dorm lobby.
âIt was probably for the best. You wouldâve broken up with me on the spot the second you walked through the door.â
You shared a laugh. Strangely, jokes about your break-up were light-hearted in their landing, the words leaving much less of a prickly uncomfortableness than you had been expecting. Perhaps it was still an event of importance in your life, but that cloudy unpleasantness you had come to associate it with had dissipated. It was a turning point, certainly. But so was graduation, and moving out, and travelling overseas for the first time.Â
Your feelings about those things werenât all bad. As you shared the pot of ramen and sipped on your beers, you realised, neither were your feelings about Jaehyun.
âIâm telling you, I was drinking Taeyong under the table. And I do mean that literally. He was passed out and laid across the stools.â He grinned, proud at the memory of beating his senior even five years later. You couldnât help but grin too, amused by the sincerity of his expression and the way his shoulders set in accomplishment.
âOkay, okay. So now youâre a better drinker, youâve gotten good at cooking, and youâre cleaner too.â
âAnd funnier,â he added.
âThat one is still up for debate,â you joked, and his eyebrows furrowed together in mock offence. Digs at his sense of humour were not taken lightly.Â
âJust because you donât get my high quality gags,â he sighed, shaking his head. âYouâre missing out.â
You nodded, making a noise of agreement if only to appease him.Â
âWhat about me? How am I different?â you asked, voice curious.Â
Jaehyun didnât miss a beat. âHmm, I think you got older?â
âCome on, Iâm being serious!â
His laughter subdued then, surveying you thoughtfully. A quiet smile tugged at his lips when he spoke again.Â
âYouâre more outspoken than you used to be.â He paused, taking a sip from his can while trying to find the right words, all the while keeping his eyes on you. âYou prioritise yourself more. And youâre more sure of who you are. You shine brighter, I think.â
Strange, how a personâs gaze could strip you down and make you feel so naked. There was nothing but earnestness in his eyes, plain and absolute, and the intensity of it was almost too much for you to bear. After all your time apart, Jaehyun could still see you, and see through you.Â
I think you still know me inside out, and that scares me, you wanted to tell him.
Instead, you looked away first, tearing your eyes away from his with considerable effort. The pot of ramen on the coffee table, lukewarm now, was almost finished. The music had also stopped playing a while ago. Neither you or Jaehyun had bothered to get up and flip the vinyl to the other side, too busy eating. All that was left was the rain, and even that had faded to a soft pattering against the glass, following its own rhythm.Â
Hastily, you stuffed a piece of kimchi into your mouth, for lack of anything better to do. The crunch of it in your mouth was loud, and you fought back a cringe.
âDid your mother make this?â you asked, hoping your attempt at diverting the conversation wasnât so obvious.
If Jaehyun noticed, he didnât show it, only nodding in confirmation.Â
âShe dropped some off last month,â he replied. âRemember how you told me herâs was better than your own motherâs?â
You let out a scandalised gasp. âAs if I would ever say such a thing! Donât let my mother ever hear something so blasphemous about her favourite daughter.â
âYouâre her only daughter.â
âAnd you care too much about technicalities. Just because Iâm the only one doesnât mean I canât still be the favourite.â
The crisp crunch of another piece of kimchi punctuated the end of your sentence. There was certainly something different about Mama Jeongâs recipes. If there was one thing you missed besides Jaehyun himself, it would have been his motherâs cooking. The woman knew her way around a stovetop better than a Michelin chef, at least in your eyes.Â
You thought of her warm smile, and her even warmer embrace. Jaehyun had inherited many things from her, kindness being the greatest of them. Back then, she had been so sure of your future place in their family, welcoming you into her home as if you were her own daughter. You wondered where she stood on that now.
Still clinging onto that idea, perhaps, or were her sights now set on someone else?
âYouâve got somethingâŚâ Jaehyun murmured.
He reached across the table, over the pot and the small bowls, the movement quick and almost instinctive. Soft fingers found purchase on your left cheek. His thumb was gentle as it brushed away the stray chilli flake from the corner of your mouth.
Just the lightest touch against your bottom lip. And the warmth of his hand cradling your face.
Then he froze, as if to catch himself, but the damage was already done.
Jaehyun pulled his hand back with a start, an inscrutable expression across his face. He spilled a quick apology that you smiled away, putting on a composed front. At least, you assumed it was an apology. It was hard to hear anything above the buzzing chaos of your mind. The air filled with idle noise as the two of you shuffled in your seats.
âI should umâI should probably get going,â you mumbled, avoiding his eyes. The meal had long been finished. Your hands were already beginning to gather up the bowls and utensils into a stack for easy carrying.Â
Jaehyun hummed, something akin to resignation in the noise. âYeah, uh⌠I guess so.â
âLet me help you clean up first, and then Iâll be on my way.â
Despite his protests against you assisting with any kind of housework, there you were at the sink, helping him scrub everything nice and clean within the small space of his kitchen. Maybe he was right about there only being enough space for one person behind the counter. The aluminium beer cans went into their designated bins, and you made sure to wipe down the coffee table too.
This time, your half-damp, half-dried clothes found their way into a Byredo shopping bag â Jaehyun would rather die than not smell good â though your shoes still squelched rather uncomfortably when you slipped your bare feet in. By luck, you were able to book a taxi and could pass on the wet walk to the bus stop.
You thanked him again for bringing you along, noting that you probably got more out of the alleged âfavourâ than he did.Â
âTrust me, going with you made the whole thing so much better,â he said, both cheeks dimpling in your favourite smile of his. âAnd let me know if you need to get the film on your camera developed. I know a place.â
The ride home was flavoured by a sudden loneliness. Maybe it was the view of the city at night, or the absence of people out on the rainy streets, that had an empty feeling settle in your chest.Â
Perhaps you should have delayed leaving his apartment. Perhaps you shouldnât have left at all, and instead weathered the night away with Jaehyun on the couch, some slasher flick playing on the television while you shook under the blankets and tried not to scream at the jumpscares, like you used to. You never did understand why he liked horror films as much as he did.
Perhaps heâd slot his fingers between your own and give them a reassuring squeeze, and gaze at you with the kind of amused fondness he only ever reserved for you.
Heat flooded your face. As if you were entertaining the thought of spending the night at your ex-boyfriendâs place. And getting butterflies at the thought of holding hands?Â
How embarrassing.
One thing was for certain. The walls you had put up were cracking, and there seemed to be little hope of patching them up.
âWill you stop messing with that thing?â
Jungwoo clicked his tongue against his teeth, fingers still fiddling with the ribbon on the gift bag.Â
âItâs not straight,â he grumbled, pulling at the bow.
âYouâre so pedantic.â
âItâs called being detail-oriented,â he fired back, leaning against the backseat of the taxi with a sigh.
You raised an eyebrow. âYou say that like Iâm not.â
âWell,â he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. His mouth formed the shape of a smirk.Â
You flicked a glance towards the rearview mirror, checking to see if the driver was paying attention to the two of you in the back. After verifying he was not, you landed a few (softâŚish) punches on Jungwooâs upper arm, revelling in the shocked little noises he made, along with a few mumbles of âthat actually hurtsâ and âcrazy womanâ.Â
How nice it was to let your hands fly without the threat of some other fifth floor witness reporting you for physical harassment.Â
âIâm telling Joy the present is entirely from me,â you warned, turning around to face the front again.
âRight, except the card inside says my name too. So thatâs not going to work.â
You reached into the gift bag, pulling out said card before rolling down the window. âLet me just throw this out.â
It was Jungwooâs turn to deliver a light smack to your wrist. You dropped the envelope back in the bag, not without tossing an eye-roll his way. He knew just as well as you did that there was no real substance behind the threats â banter with Jungwoo was more for amusement than anything else. Deep down, you were quite fond of him, even if your actions tended to say otherwise, and youâd like to wager he quite enjoyed your company too.Â
You couldnât wait to get a few shots in him later tonight. Word had it he was a notorious lightweight.Â
âHopefully nobody vomits. Iâd hate to be cleaning that up in my own house.â He shuddered at the thought.Â
âOh, donât you worry about that,â you smiled sweetly, patting him on the shoulder. âYou just focus on sticking to your limit, okay? I heard what happened at last yearâs wrap up event.â
He bristled. âNothing happened! It honestly wasnât even that bad. Iâm getting unfairly slandered,â he sulked. âI think you should stop hanging out with Joy so much.â
âYeah, alright. Should we just skip her birthday party and turn the car around then?â
âShut up.â
The taxi pulled up in front of Joyâs apartment complex, a tall modern thing with much bigger windows than your own building. And so much more glass, too. After splitting the taxi fare with Jungwoo, the two of you stood at the entrance, waiting for the intercom to connect.Â
âAre you sure you pressed the right buttons?â Jungwoo asked, peering over your shoulder.
âYes, of course. Apartment 814.â
âMaybe you should let me try.â
You let out a sigh. âItâs three numbers, Jungwoo. How is it going to be any different if itâs you pressing them instead of me? Do you think the keypad is going to magicallyââ
âHello?âÂ
An unfamiliar male voice crackled through the intercom. âAre you here for Joy?âÂ
âYes,â you and Jungwoo answered in unison.Â
âGreat, Iâll come down to get you guys now. Will only be a minute!â and then the line disconnected.
You and Jungwoo exchanged a glance. âIs he going to let us in?â you asked.Â
âHe literally said heâd come down to get us,â he answered flatly. âDo you not listen?â
âIt was hard to hear him clearly with all the noise in the background,â you grumbled in defence. Hopefully Joyâs walls were thicker than your own, and her neighbours would not lodge a complaint halfway through the night.
The elevator doors slid open to reveal the face of the intercom answerer. It wasnât detective work to match up the real thing to the pictures Joy would sometimes show you, though he looked taller in real life than he did in the photos from their weekend Jeju trip.
âSorry about the wait, it was a bit hard to hear the doorbell,â he greeted, ushering you both inside with a warm smile. âIâm Doyoung, by the way.â
You and Jungwoo both introduced yourselves as you stepped into the elevator after him, to which he responded with a hum in recognition, and a knowing grin.
âAre you on door duty for the night?â Jungwoo asked.
Doyoung nodded, pressing on the button for the eighth floor. âIt appears I am. She has her hands full with guests to entertain, so,â he trailed off, eyes glazing over for a split second, âyouâll see what I mean when we get up there.â
You had never imagined that a 2-bedroom apartment could fit so many people. Granted, it was nothing compared to the kind of parties you frequented during your university days where cheap spirits and green soju bottles lined the counter, but it was quite a distant cry from the gathering you thought it would be. Judging by the look on Jungwooâs face, he had not been expecting this either.Â
There had to be at least forty people. It almost made you wonder why she didnât just book out a space instead of letting everyone invade her and her boyfriendâs shared home.
Doyoung made his exit rather quickly after letting you in, probably off to tend to one of his many other duties as unofficial host â poor guy was likely in for a very busy night â leaving you and Jungwoo to fend for yourselves in the entryway of the apartment. There was barely any room left in the tiled space for you to put your shoes.
How did Joy even know this many people? was the thought at the forefront of your mind as you helped Jungwoo stack his sneakers next to yours on a rack further down the hallway. Her present was left on a table near the entry piled with gift bags and wrapped boxes that you assumed was the designated drop-off area.Â
Speaking of the birthday girl, you spotted her mingling in the living room and pointed her out to Jungwoo, though it was no easy feat finding her. The number of people, coupled with the dim ambient lighting, made it a challenge to recognise familiar faces. Joy, champagne glass in hand, was swept away in conversation with one of the most beautiful women you had ever laid eyes on. The gorgeous lady held a matching champagne flute in one hand, while the other was wrapped around the arm ofâ
âJunmyeon? What the hell is he doing here with that beautiful woman?âÂ
Jungwoo took the words right out of your mouth, a somewhat displeased noise making its way past his lips. You couldnât help but echo the sentiment.
âCanât believe this turned into a work function the moment we stepped through the door,â you all but groaned. âAnd here I thought having you around was bad enough already.â
You expertly dodged the elbow he jabbed into your side.
Joy spotted the two of you then, lingering by the kitchen, and quickly excused herself from the conversation to rush over. The champagne wobbled precariously in her glass as she approached, engulfing the two of you in a sweet-smelling hug.
âMy little children! Iâm so glad you could make it!â she cried, resting her chin in the space between your shoulder and Jungwooâs. You exchanged a glance with the boy amidst the chorus of âhappy birthdayâs.Â
There was a 77% chance she was drunk already.
âHad a little too much fun tonight?â you asked, helping to prop her upright again.
Joy only beamed in response. âAll the more fun now that you two are here. My favourite fifth floor prisoners.â She gave your cheek a soft pinch.
âQuick question,â Jungwoo began, âwhy is our manager in your house?â
âWith his arm around a beautiful woman way out of his league?â you added, swatting her fingers away from your face.
âThatâs my sister Irene,â she said, like it was common knowledge.Â
You raised an eyebrow. âSince when did you have a sister?â
âOkay, well not my real sister,â she amended, hurriedly waving off your words. âShe was a senior in my department. I was really close with her back in university, so, basically my sister. I think we look pretty alike, honestly.â
âAnd her relation to Junmyeon isâŚ?â
Joy threw a conspiratorial glance around before leaning in, beckoning the two of you closer. This time, a few drops of the champagne did manage to escape via the side of her glass, narrowly missing Jungwooâs white socks.
âI set them up. On a date!â she whispered, eyes glinting with pride. Why she chose to whisper when it was already hard enough to hear her above the noise at her normal speaking level was beyond you.
You blinked at her a few times. âYou set up a goddess like that⌠with our manager?â
Joy waved another hand dismissively. âOh, please. Like Junmyeonâs not handsome too. You only think that because youâre too used to seeing him frown and squint at a monitor.âÂ
You cast a glance in his direction. Maybe she was right. Junmyeon did look somewhat more like a human without his glasses and the semi-permanent lines etched into his forehead. He even looked (dare you say it) quite nice. But maybe it was the poor lighting that made it seem that way.
âAnyways, itâs been about⌠two months now? I think they look pretty good together,â she mused, following your gaze.Â
Junmyeon must have said something funny â a rather loose use of the word by your standards â because Irene had her lovely face scrunched up in a laugh, the pitched sound of it ringing out clearly above the noise of the apartment. In her amusement, she even threw a hand out to slap him lightly on the arm, which he appeared very pleased by.
Sure, you laughed at his jokes too, but it was more out of corporate self-preservation than actual amusement.Â
âHe kind of has been in a better mood recently,â Jungwoo said thoughtfully.
Joy grabbed his hand with fervour. âYes, exactly! See? Thanks to my sacrifice, we can all enjoy a nicer, much more pleasant office environment.â
âIâd hardly call that a sacrifice,â you chuckled. âYou take too much pleasure in playing matchmaker.â Joyâs response was nothing more than a guilty smile, followed by her emptying the rest of the glass.
It was then that you heard it â the deep, reverberating laugh that always bordered a little bit on breathlessness. It was slightly unnerving how quickly you could pinpoint the sound of his voice without even seeing him, or knowing that he had entered the room.Â
You turned around first, eyes drawn to the entry hallway in search of the face to which the laugh belonged. Of course he was going to be here. You knew that. He had said as much two days ago, bidding you farewell across the cafeteria table with a promise to âsee you on the weekend at Joyâsâ.
Lunch with Jaehyun had recently become a rarer occurrence. From what he told you, and the bits of information you gleaned from Joy about Digital, Johnny had pulled Jaehyun onto his team to try and get a firmer grip on the reins not even two weeks ago. Already, the intensity of the new workload was obvious.
You certainly saw him less, much to your disappointment â you could admit that to yourself now.
Jaehyun emerged from the hallway then, midway through another laugh with an arm slung around Doyoungâs shoulders. Funny, how all the other faces were so murky and hard to identify under the dim lighting. And yet, the shape of his dimpled smile was unmistakable to you, as bright as the beacon of a lighthouse on the midnight sea.Â
Doyoung scanned the room, catching sight of Joy with you and Jungwoo. He gestured at his girlfriend, and Jaehyun obediently turned in your direction, likely wanting to give his greetings to the birthday girl.
Your eyes locked, and your heart gave a woeful little squeeze in your chest.
âIâm just going to do a quick check on the drink inventory,â Doyoung said as they approached, âIâll be right back. And please take care of my favourite guest.â With a final friendly pat on Jaehyunâs shoulder, he was off, ducking into the kitchen.Â
âHappy birthday!â Jaehyun beamed, arms circling around Joy in a hug which she enthusiastically returned. He grabbed Jungwooâs hand, pulling him in for one of those man greetings. (Since when were they close?) Their apparent friendship was an unexpected development.Â
And then it was your turn. You wondered if it was as easy for others to find solace in a mere gaze as you did with Jaehyun. His eyes did not stray far, wandering around your face, something tender and comforting in his appraisal of your features. A hand came up to brush against your lower back, a gentle and quiet greeting against the excitement of the previous two. His lips pulled into a soft smile as he called your name in greeting.Â
âYou two are ridiculous,â Joy scoffed.
You inhaled sharply. Was it really that easy to tell? The depth of your attachment?
âYou planned this, right? I mean seriously, matching outfits?â she asked, gesturing at you and Jaehyun.
You blinked a few times, looking down blankly at yourself. The dark wash denim and white silk that you had picked out yesterday looked back at you familiarly. Then you glanced at Jaehyun, taking in his white t-shirt, half tucked into a pair of jeans that were exactly the same wash as yours.Â
The coordination was completely unintentional â you had no idea what you were going to wear tonight the last time you had spoken to him â but the look on Joyâs face told you there was no use in trying to convince her of the truth.Â
(You wouldâve argued that the cowl neck of your white silk top elevated your outfit above Jaehyunâs plain white tee, but you digressed.)
âOkay. Iâm done with this,â Jungwoo said, throwing his hands up in defeat. âIâm going to do what single people do, and that is to get a goddamn drink.â
âMe too, another bubbly,â Joy chimed, grasping onto Jungwooâs arm as he turned to leave for the kitchen. âSee my success rate? Let me set you up with someone. My hairdresserâs daughter went to Korea University Business School and graduated not too long ago.âÂ
The rest of her appeal to play matchmaker for Jungwoo was swallowed up by the music and chatter of her guests. And then it was just you, and Jaehyun, and the thirty other people filling up the living room.Â
The two of you shared a glance before dissolving into a few light giggles.Â
âI do think I pull it off better,â you teased, giving Jaehyun another once-over. He was as handsome as always, the white cotton draped picturesquely across his lean frame while the dark jeans made his mile-long legs look even longer. He could wear a garbage bag and make it look couture.Â
âI wouldnât be so sure about that,â he said with a crooked smile.Â
He raised his arm to reveal the denim jacket draped across his arm that you hadnât noticed before, too busy making sad little googly eyes at him that you hoped other people couldnât see. The jacket was coloured in the same wash as his jeans, and your own.Â
You gave a scandalised gasp. âNo, a matching set? How am I supposed to beat that?â
âYou canât. You can only admit defeat to the double denim. I out-Justin-Timberlaked you.â
âJustin Timberlake is not a verb.â
He only grinned in response, teeth pearly and eyes sparkling as he took in the slight pout of your mouth.Â
âWhatever,â you conceded with a wave of your hand, though a smile crept its way onto your face. âYou win. Letâs get something to drink.â
Jungwoo and Joy were nowhere to be found when the two of you made your way to the kitchen. What you did find was an impressive selection of bottles atop the marble counter, a selection that easily outdid the ones from your university days in both quality and variety.Â
At least one thing was the same. Green soju bottles were always a dependable presence.Â
âShall we go for your favourite?â Jaehyun asked, holding up what looked to be a bottle of wine. You moved a little closer, peering at the label through his fingers.
âI do enjoy a good red,â you replied, accepting the glass he offered you with a quiet âthank youâ. You took a small sip â because tonight, you felt no need to gulp down alcohol like a camel to ease your nerves â before adding, âMerlot is far from my favourite though.â
âReally?â He raised an eyebrow. âI do seem to remember how you pretty much finished a whole bottle by yourself. At dinner, that time at the Italian place.â
You held back a wince at the recollection of that fated blind date. Of course heâd remember that. It would be hard to forget the way you all but sculled down three full glasses in the time it took him to finish one. A quick sideways glance revealed the slight upturn to the corners of his mouth, paired with a telling glint in his eyes. Jaehyun was teasing.
âIt was honestly quite impressive,â he said, lips curling into a full-blown smile now.
âThat was different,â you said. The next sip went down a little faster than you would have liked. âThat was out of necessity.âÂ
There was no way I couldâve made it through that night without alcohol in my system, you almost said, but caught yourself just in time.Â
A few seconds passed before either of you spoke again.
âWere you really upset to see me?â
Gone was the playful lilt to his voice. This question was asked softly, carefully, the sound of it so delicate you were afraid it would shatter in the air at your clumsy reply. Slowly, you turned to look at him, seeking the reassurance you were sure you could find in his eyes, but they had moved to the contents of his own glass. You followed their path, watching as he gave the liquid a few absent-minded swirls.
âMaybe. A little, I think,â you admitted. âI donât know. There was a lot going on in my head that day. When I realised it was you.â
A pair of giggling women â Joyâs guests who you didnât know â approached the counter, one of them tentatively reaching for something in front of you. Noticing her struggle, you shuffled slightly towards Jaehyun, trying to make some space around the counter. The one with her hand outstretched flashed you a grateful smile, which you politely returned, although with far less vigour.Â
Perhaps the bustling kitchen in the centre of all the foot traffic wasnât the best place for a conversation like this.
There was some fussing with the bottle cap, or whatever it was that they couldnât quite get to work, followed by a considerably clean pour for two people who were clearly not quite sober. Then they were gone, giggling the entire way out of the kitchen and freeing up the space around you.
If you wanted to, you could have stepped back and returned to your original spot before their arrival. Put some more distance between you and Jaehyun again. Not that you were seriously encroaching on his personal space, but it was enough for you to recognise the proximity.
Instead, you took the smallest of steps closer and placed a hand on his forearm. His eyes flitted down at the touch, taking in the way your fingers lay feather-light on his skin, just above the ridge of his wrist.Â
âIâm glad it was you,â you said. The words were true, but the honesty of them still tasted odd on your tongue, and you fought back a cringe. Jaehyun finally turned to meet your eyes, some semblance of hope, or maybe it was relief that coloured his expression. âAnd Iâm glad weâre here, now,â you added.
You hoped he knew you werenât talking about the far right corner of Joyâs kitchen.
Jaehyun smiled, and it was like the sun had finally risen up over the stark mountain peak, bathing everything in a warm, golden glow. It was the kind of warmth you didnât realise you craved until the full force of it spilled over you, washing away the blue and the cold.Â
âMe too,â he said softly.
Even if you hadnât fallen victim to Joyâs schemes, you would like to think the two of you would still end up here, only via longer and slightly different routes. Perhaps an unexpected run-in in the lobby on a Tuesday morning, or the eventual and excruciatingly awkward introduction through Joy. Whatever it may have been, youâd like to think you wouldâve found your way to each other again eventually.Â
Curiosity tickled your mind. âWhat about you?â
âHmm?â
He was still smiling, the lines by his nose just visible, and he had his eyes on you, though there was a faraway look about them. Something about his gaze reminded you of the way youâd regard a painting, framed and hung up on a wall in some art museum â carefully examining the details of the brushstrokes against the canvas, yet all the while trying to hold the whole piece in your mindâs eye, and let it touch the surface of that primal emotion somewhere inside of you. The depth of his gaze was enough to make you self-conscious, and you quickly averted your eyes, taking another sip from your glass. It was a good excuse to school your features before you spoke again.
âHow did you feel when you saw me? Were you upset?â
Jaehyun regarded his own glass wistfully. âNot exactly upset, no,â he began, though a movement in his peripheral had him trailing off.Â
Another of Joyâs guests had appeared, hovering beside the two of you with his eyes set on the bottle of whiskey directly in front of you. Politely, Jaehyun side-stepped away from the counter and wrapped a gentle hand around the bend of your elbow, guiding you out of the hectic buzz of the kitchen. It stayed there, warm and comforting, until you found your way back to the open space of the living room, and even then he was slow to let you go, fingertips lingering a just second too long before they retreated back to his side.Â
âI think I was surprised, more than anything,â he continued. âDidnât really know what to expect, not that I was expecting much. I never even thought Iâd get to see you again after university. Thought you were gone for good.â
He paused, one side of his mouth quirking up slightly. The movement was small, and you wondered if you were supposed to have caught it at all.
âYou stood there, with your bag in one hand and your cardigan in the other, looking like you were waiting for me to spontaneously combustââ
âOkay, Iâm sure it wasnât that bad.â
ââand all I could think about was how you were even prettier than I remembered. And back then I already thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.â
At that, you were quiet. Whatever silly rebuttal or attempt to defend yourself died quickly on your tongue as you let his confession settle beneath your skin, warming it from the inside out. Jaehyun was not even one bit fazed, looking like he had just said something trivial about the weather, or stated some objective fact like âgrass is greenâ. For him, honesty had never been the heavy, cumbersome challenge it was for you. Judging by the resigned smile on his face, he wasnât expecting some grand response from you either, which was all the better, because god, what were you supposed to say to something like that?
âOh, there you are,â came a voice from behind you, followed by a hand on your shoulder.Â
Joyâs timing was impeccable, as always.
âSorry, this one is coming with me,â she said to Jaehyun, looping her arm around yours with half-drunken determination. âUs fifth-floors have some business to settle. With darts.â
Your eyes followed the direction of her outstretched arm, where sure enough, there was a dartboard hanging on the wall by the balcony. Jungwoo was there, standing obediently with his hands crossed in front of his stomach as he politely nodded along to whatever Junmyeon was animatedly saying. The beer bottle Jungwoo cradled, now forgotten, seemed more like an accessory than an actual beverage. He caught your eye and sent you a frantic look.
You whipped your head back to Jaehyun. âPlease donât let her take me.âÂ
Surely, he could see the pleading, the desperation in your eyes.
Jaehyun, having witnessed the whole exchange between you and Jungwoo, only grinned. âIt does sound like some serious business,â he said, cheeks dimpling. Joy made a noise of agreement and gave your arm a little tug.
âYouâre more than welcome to come and spectate, Jaehyun,â she called out over her shoulder as she herded you towards her destination. His only response was a hearty laugh. You stared at him in despair as you were towed away by the birthday girl. Next time youâd invite his boss to the function.
The game of darts (or seven games, if you were being precise) was decidedly less awful than you had expected. Junmyeon had promised not to speak about work and by some miracle, actually stuck to his word. Maybe you even got to know the guy a little better, outside of his office habits like the specific order in which he drank his three teas everyday (yuja, then chamomile, and lastly peppermint). Like you, he was somewhat of a wine enthusiast, though his knowledge of French vineyards was far superior to yours.Â
By the third round, the game had clearly left your little work circle. Jaehyun joined in at one point, competitiveness getting the better of him. Doyoung tried his hand too, and he was honestly abysmal, but smiled the whole time and seemed to be enjoying himself, even if he had to pick the darts off the floor on every turn. Out of all the players over the course of the seven games, Junmyeonâs date Irene had been the most unexpected hidden card, scoring three bullseyes in a row.Â
Oh, to be a goddess and have perfect hand-eye coordination.Â
âYou feeling okay?â you asked a rather blank-looking Jungwoo. His eyes were beginning to droop, and so was the rest of his body, long limbs sprawled out against the leather. You could swear he only had his initial bottle of beer and the two celebratory soju shots Joy had forced him to take (from which you were not exempt either), and yet here he was, half-asleep on the couch.
âHmm,â was his eloquent reply.
The party was slowly drawing to a close, the living room much emptier now than it had been when you first walked in. Junmyeon and Irene had made their departure some twenty minutes ago, and there were only a handful of guests left, most of them getting ready to leave as well. Grown adults didnât gamble with their sleep schedules.Â
Doyoung emerged from the hallway, running a hand through the mess of hair on top of his head, already tousled from the fifty or so times he had repeated the action throughout the night.
âOkay, sheâs knocked out,â he sighed. On his face, you glimpsed the first sign of relief you had seen all night. âI donât think sheâs going to puke, but I left a bucket by the bed just in case.â
You flashed him a grateful smile. âThank you for tonight. I canât imagine it was easy having to wrangle all these people for so long.â
âOh, itâs no big deal. As long as Joyâs happy and had a good time.âÂ
Even though he was clearly exhausted, Doyoung smiled, and the fondness held within it felt like a private thing you shouldnât have witnessed. Your mind went, now as it always did, to a certain dimpled smile.
âIâd better get this one home,â you said instead, gesturing at Jungwoo slumped on the couch. You turned towards the boy, patting his shoulder gently. âCome on, time to go.â
âMmffh.âÂ
Another brilliant and enlightening response.
The owner of your favourite dimpled smile stepped out from the bathroom to the sight of you struggling to get Jungwoo upright enough to loop an arm around your shoulders. The half-asleep boy was lean, but definitely heavier than he looked, or perhaps the few glasses of wine over the course of the night had sapped some of the strength from your body. Jaehyun was at your side in an instant, shouldering most of Jungwooâs weight as the two of you dragged him to a standing position.
âIâll come with you,â he said, no room for discussion in his tone. You had no mind to protest anyway.Â
Doyoung was already busying himself with clearing plates and glasses from the living area when Jaehyun bid him farewell. The guy seemed to have formulated a detailed plan of attack to get his apartment back to the no-doubt spotless state it had been prior to tonight.
âI sorted out most of the empty bottles so you should be able to just throw them out in the morning,â Jaehyun said over his shoulder. He crouched on the ground, guiding Jungwooâs disobedient left foot into the correct shoe, carefully doing up the laces once both feet were inside their corresponding sneakers.Â
You tossed a glance back at Doyoung whizzing around the place like a Roomba, feeling a pang of guilt for not having done much to help him clean up. Even though you had been a much more gracious and tidy guest than other people in Joyâs company, you couldnât help but feel like there was more you couldâve done, apart from babysitting a very not-sober Jungwoo and making sure he didnât crack his head open on the corner of the coffee table.Â
âItâs fine,â Jaehyun said softly. You turned to look at him, half-surprised, and he only flashed you a small smile. âDoyoung likes to clean. I think he finds comfort in it.â
He was fluent as ever in your micro-expressions. Maybe one day youâd learn to stop being surprised by it.Â
The taxi back to Jungwooâs place was shorter than you had expected. His head lolled between your shoulder and Jaehyunâs in the backseat, before finally finding a home in Jaehyunâs lap. Even when you finally tucked the younger boy safely into his own bed â after going to great lengths to extract his building code which involved a series of profuse apologies to his neighbours who you had mistakenly rung in the middle of the night â there was an impressive imprint on his right cheek that exactly matched the side seam on Jaehyunâs jeans. You couldâve sworn there was a small, wet patch of drool left behind on the denim, and you were sure Jaehyun himself had noticed it too, but he gave no indication of complaint.
âAre you far from here?â Jaehyun asked once the elevator had brought the both of you back down to Jungwooâs lobby.
âIâm actually just a fifteen minute walk away,â you answered.
The invitation in your voice was silent, and you knew he wouldâve accompanied you home even if you lived on the other side of the city. Still, some achingly pleasant emotion settled over you when you heard his footsteps fall in with yours against the pavement. He took his place between you and the open street, shielding you from the bustle of late night delivery bikes and club bound taxis.
Though the days still resembled summer, nights were when the beginnings of autumn could reveal itself. The slight chill in the air was not unbearable, but still noticeable against your bare arms, and just enough for goosebumps to spring up on the skin there. Before you could even bring your hands up to wrap them around yourself, Jaehyun shrugged off his jacket and wordlessly draped it over your shoulders.Â
âThanks,â you mumbled, drawing the collar close around your neck. The stiff denim was a little rough, but warm from his body heat all the same, with faint traces of his woody scent lingering on the fabric.
Jaehyun thrust his hands in his pockets and grinned. âNow you out-Justin-Timberlake me.â
âStill not a real word.â
You supposed there was something about night-time that made it feel all the more forgiving to the emotional afflictions of the human condition. Perhaps it was only against the muted palette of the midnight blue sky and the dimly lit city streets that you felt brave enough to face the truth of your feelings, without agonising over the consequences of acknowledging them. Even so, you found yourself wishing the night would stretch on for just a little longer. Honesty always seemed to wear off faster than it came on.
âYouâve been crazy busy lately.â
Jaehyunâs responding laugh contained little amusement. âCrazy busy is one way to put it. I canât believe Johnny has had to deal with all of this the whole time. This client is so,â he paused, trying to find the right word, before finally settling on âdemanding.â The look in his eyes gave you the feeling there were many other more colourful adjectives he wanted to use instead.
The two of you passed the convenience store corner of your street. Your place was not too far up ahead, the glass building doors almost visible if you squinted. The night was coming to an end, and something cold and heavy settled in your chest to accompany the realisation.
âThey want us in New York working on the new client site as soon as possible, so weâve been running around trying to get visas and everything sorted,â he sighed.Â
Your footsteps faltered.Â
âYouâre going to New York?â you asked.Â
He nodded.Â
âWhen?â
âWithin the next week, if everything comes back approved.â
You hadnât even noticed that you had come to a standstill until Jaehyunâs footsteps also slowed to a stop. The both of you stood like that, under the dim glow from the streetlights, in the middle of the sidewalk.Â
âWeâll probably be there until the end of the year, at least until the design piece is done,â he said.Â
Did your face betray the sudden drop of your stomach? Did the sound of a fissure cracking through your chest escape through the slight parting of your lips?
It was silly, really. That one small piece of information could turn your entire world on its head. International travel on a project wasnât a rare occurrence. And you supposed you wouldâve found out sooner or later, even if he hadnât told you, because he had no obligation to update you about every development in his life, even if they involved crossing continents. Even if you wanted to know every little detail.Â
Jaehyunâs eyes moved from his shoes to your face. The shadows cast by the streetlights made it hard to decipher his expression, but you thought there was a pleading look to his handsome face. What he was pleading for, you werenât entirely sure.Â
You cleared your throat and finally found your voice again. âThatâs really exciting, Jaehyun,â you managed, trying to keep your tone light. âI hear New York is gorgeous this time of year.â
The smile you pasted on your face was a flimsy one, and you could feel your top lip begin to tremble when he didnât quite return it. Before it could turn into a grimace, you let the corners of your mouth fall. There had never been any use in putting on an act in front of him. Unsure what else to say without sounding insincere â though you were excited for him, truly, this little fit of sadness was a silly thing that would pass surely and quickly â you turned and resumed your steps towards your apartment.Â
Another few minutes and youâd be in the safety of your own home. Free to let your top lip tremble and quiver, and let the inexplicable lump in your throat force its way out, rather than try to swallow it down.
It only took a few steps for you to realise that Jaehyun had not followed. You looked over your shoulder to find him standing there by the streetlight, eyes fixed on the ground again.Â
âI donât want to go,â he said, toeing at a crack in the concrete. âIf I didnât have to, I wouldnât. I donât want to leaveâŚâ
You.
He may not have said that last word, but you heard it all the same. Your chest squeezed with emotion you couldnât quite place.
âBut you have to,â you said softly. A gentle breeze blew through the early autumn air and you briefly wondered if your words had been carried adrift.
He looked up at you then, eyes burning into yours with unspoken sentiments. A thousand words were conveyed with that one look, those few seconds in which you understood everything he wanted to say, and nothing he wanted to say, because he hadnât said much at all. Just like how he could read your emotions with a simple glance at your face, you saw his reluctance. You saw the irresolution in his resolve, and how it wavered as he turned over in his mind the things he wanted to say to you, and how much of his heart he was willing to risk.Â
âBut I have to,â he agreed.Â
Jaehyun still knew you inside out, yes, but you knew him too.
Your feet dragged over the last few hundred metres to your apartment complex, until you finally reached the door and there was nothing left you could do to delay the inevitable.
âHere,â you said, handing his jacket back to him. âThank you for walking me home.â
He took it from your outstretched hand, fingers just brushing your knuckles. âOf course.â
And maybe Jaehyun was just as unwilling to let you go. His feet stayed firmly planted on the concrete pavement in front of your building, even though you were pretty sure no harm would befall you across the five steps into the lobby. The two of you stood there for a while, neither quite knowing what to say, or how to ward off the odd melancholy you knew he felt too.
There were so few guarantees of forever in life. You knew that. And even if you had never really gotten him back in the first place, you couldnât shake the feeling that you were losing him again. Except this time, he wouldnât just be a 67-minute subway ride away. This time, heâd be a 14-hour flight away, on the other side of not the city but the world, with 7,000 miles and the entire Pacific Ocean separating you.Â
And yes, heâd come back eventually, but who could promise that the feelings between the two of you now would be the same upon his return? You knew that you were in no position to demand he refrain from exploring other romantic pursuits, to deter him from making new connections in the diverse metropolis that was New York City, and all the excitement and energy that came with it.Â
You had unknowingly gotten in the way of that once.
âWell, Iâd better get inside,â you said quietly, gesturing at the building behind you. Jaehyun only nodded.
This was it. All things must come to an end, you thought as you walked up to the lobby door. Even if they never really started. Perhaps you and your hesitance to let him in had played the biggest part of all, and whatever it was between you and Jaehyun wouldnât be ending before it began if you had only been more forgiving at the start. Less pointy and disagreeable. Perhaps then you would be parting now on more certain terms, and youâd carry some peace of mind knowing heâd be coming back to you, instead of the crushing weight of disappointment currently lodged underneath your sternum.
And yet, what difference did it make? Youâd be losing him anyway, no matter what you did. In two weeksâ time, heâd be sitting in a conference room on a different continent, regardless of whether you said nothing or cussed him out to his face right now.
Your hand froze on the steel handle for only a second before you turned around to face him again. Three determined strides was all it took to close the distance between you.Â
âWhat is it?â he asked.
There had been few occasions where you had seen Jaehyun drunk, or at least not sober, in the years you had known him. Your split early on in university had not afforded you many chances to witness his supposedly high tolerance in action at weekend benders. Nothing more than a few underage sips snuck from his dadâs glass at the dinner table. You took a second now to look at him, really look at him, taking in all the details of the face you knew almost as well as your own.Â
Pink. Everything about him was so pink, from the slight tinge around the whites of his eyes, to the lingering flush in the apples of his cheeks.
To the pretty colour of his soft, full lips.Â
They parted with confusion when you approached. Carefully, you reached out a hand and placed it against his cheek, feeling the way he leaned into your touch almost immediately. His eyes fluttered shut for the briefest of moments before they were searching your face again, almost fervently.Â
âI justâŚâ you whispered, trying to commit this picture of him to memory.Â
What difference did it make?
It was hard to tell who moved first. Youâd like to believe it didnât matter.
The rhythm of your lips against his was unfamiliar at first, clumsy from years of disuse. Through slow and careful movements, you reacquainted yourself with the shape of Jaehyunâs mouth, the pillowy swell of his bottom lip as it gently slid in between your own. It fit there perfectly, like it always did. His hands came up to graze the curve of your waist, resting lightly on your skin as if he was afraid youâd crumble like sand in his grasp.Â
You tilted your head, parting your mouth ever so slightly to let the tip of your tongue brush against the underside of his top lip. The kiss changed immediately. You felt his surprise in the small puff of air that escaped through his nose and landed softly against your cheek. His fingers gripped at you with a newfound strength, pulling you flush against him. Even through the fabric of your shirts, the outline of his toned chest was unmistakable. Your hands found their home in the softness of hair at the nape of his neck, revelling in the throaty sound that left him as you ran your hands through it.Â
How had you denied yourself of this for so long?
Jaehyun must have pulled away first, because suddenly you could breathe again, shaky gasps coming in and out through your mouth. He fared no better, pressing his forehead gently against yours while he tried to catch his breath.
You couldnât think. You felt electrified, as if every nerve ending in your body was simultaneously firing, as if your blood was laced with dynamite. Hell, you had half a mind to invite him up to your room and finish off what you had so brazenly started.
âItâs late,â he finally managed, voice rough. âYou should head in.â His hands, however, stayed firmly in place around your waist. You watched as his Adamâs apple bobbed up and down with each swallow.
Right. Perhaps it was best to let the night end here, before you could do anything else that you might regret.Â
âYeah, I should probably,â you murmured, catching the way his eyes followed each movement of your mouth as you spoke. The sound of your voice seemed to break the daze he was in, and you felt his grip on you loosen, slowly and reluctantly. The arms you had looped around his neck made their way back to your sides. You were released from his warmth far too quickly.
Impulsive decisions (like inviting your ex-boyfriend to spend the night in your one-bedroom apartment with nowhere to sleep except in your bed) seldom ended well. You shouldâve known better than to make those rookie mistakes.
You had barely turned around to walk up to your building doors when Jaehyun wrapped a warm hand around your wrist and pulled you back into him. He pressed his lips to yours, swallowing the small noise of surprise that left your mouth. This time, his kiss was softer, surer, and in it you tasted the sweetness of unspoken promises he was determined to keep.Â
âIâll see you when I get back,â he said, dark eyes fixed on you with conviction. Your lip colour had smudged by the side of his mouth, leaving behind a faint pink stain that only added to the pretty hue of his now kiss-swollen lips.Â
He was still the most gorgeous person you had ever seen.Â
âSee you when youâre back, then,â you echoed.Â
Some odd emotion, neither happy nor sad, settled in your chest as you pushed open the door to the emptiness of your home. You had rushed to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Jaehyun before he left, only to find he had gone already, and the sidewalk outside your building was as vacant as to be expected for this hour of the night.
No matter. Youâd wait for him to come back.Â
âOne more prosecco before he disappears to the bathroom for the rest of the night.â
You cast a glance at the catering table and clicked your tongue against your teeth.
âHalf a prosecco,â you concluded, taking a sip from your own glass.Â
Joy raised a shapely eyebrow at you. âYou know it doesnât hit until at least twenty minutes after he gets the munchies.â
âTrue, but he specifically told me he skipped lunch today so it would hit earlier, and heâd have the energy to mingle.â
âWell,â she shrugged, âI guess thatâd do it.â
The two of you turned your gazes back to the catering table, where Jungwoo was doing some serious damage to the salmon ceviche tostadas. The glass in his hand was empty, and you watched as he asked for a refill from one of the waitstaff.
âSomeone should really stop him,â Joy sighed. âBefore we get a repeat of last year.â
âSomeone should,â you agreed.
Neither of you made a move.
As far as year-end wrap-up events went, this one wasnât too bad, even if it was your first at the company. This year, HR had managed to book one of the smaller function rooms at an upscale hotel, with an open bar and hors dâoeuvres menu to match. It was a nice chance to celebrate the yearâs achievements, and get to know the other people in the department a little better. Already a year in this place, and youâd be lying if you said you knew the name of every person on your floor.
September to November had flown by in a blur. Recruitment for the companyâs graduate program next year had been an intensive few months of screening, interviewing, reviewing, and then interviewing again. As hectic as it had been, the fruits of your teamâs efforts had been warmly recognised with smiles and praises from the senior managers and higher-ups youâd had the chance to speak with tonight.Â
Traditionally, each department hosted their own event, though from what you gathered, HR and Marketing were the only ones that put in any real effort. While HR liked to keep things classy, Marketing liked to go all out.
âDo you think itâs true that Marketing rented out a yacht this year?â you asked. Surely their budget wasnât that excessive.
Joy made a face. âGod, I hope not. Itâs the middle of December. Iâd be surprised if the Han River wasnât all frozen over.â
Winter had come early this year, sinking its cold fingers into November and staking its claim. Yet, there had been no snow, even though it was only a few days out from the holidays. Though it was nice that your clothes stayed relatively dry all day from the lack of precipitation, you couldnât help but miss the sight of the city covered in a blanket of white softness.Â
âThere he goes,â Joy said, nudging your arm. You turned to see Jungwoo excuse himself from the conversation, setting down a barely-touched glass on the tablecloth. He made a beeline for the menâs restrooms, or as close to a beeline as he could manage in his current state, face flushed and a little queasy.
It was a good thing the companyâs holiday closure started tomorrow.
âOkay, you win. Want to come and get a refill with me?â she asked. âWe can say hi to a few of the directors over there.â
The thought of having to network with more seniors, when you had already spent the last hour and a half donning bright smiles and laughing politely at their lacklustre jokes, was not a pleasant one. You knew it would be a good thing for you to go and introduce yourself, but your battery for social interaction had long since been depleted. Perhaps you shouldâve taken a page out of Jungwooâs book.
Still, you flashed Joy a grateful smile. âYou go ahead. I might grab some air, actually.â
âOkay,â she replied, eyes warm with understanding. âBut make sure you put your coat on. Itâs freezing out there.â
She was right, of course. The toasty interior of the function room was a completely different world from the frigid gust of wind that greeted you as soon as you pulled the sliding door open. An upscale hotel needed to have a matching upscale view of the city. You leaned against the balcony railing, blocking out the icy sting of the metal against your hands, and took in the sight of the not-quite-frozen Han River below, and the sparkling Seoul Tower further away on the skyline.
Youâd only be out here for a little bit, you told yourself. Just a few minutes, and then youâd head home.
Truthfully, you could have left half an hour ago when your reserves for socialising had just run out, and be within the warm and familiar confines of your own bed right now, doom-scrolling to your heartâs content. But these days, the solitude of your apartment that you had once found comforting had evolved into a loneliness that youâd rather avoid.Â
The empty echoes of your own footsteps across the tiled floors didnât bounce against the walls like deep laughter did.
Absent-mindedly, you thumbed at the pendant sitting at the hollow of your throat. You had turned your jewellery box inside out, almost fully convinced that you had lost the thing entirely until you finally spotted the milky pearl set in white gold, underneath all the other chains. It was gorgeous when you had first opened the velvet box all those years ago, and it still was now, even if you hadnât seen it for quite some time. Jaehyun always had an eye for beautiful things.
You werenât the only one who endured a few packed and chaotic months. Johnnyâs team had flown out of the country the Wednesday after Joyâs birthday and had been sequestered in New York ever since. Between your swamped schedules and the 14 hour time difference, conversations with Jaehyun were intermittent at best, and sparse and uncoordinated at worst. Sometimes heâd message with silly little things, like the time he sent you a picture of a doll sitting in the window of an antique shop.
this reminded me of you, the accompanying text had said.
He was due back soon, and there was still much left to be said, but above all, you only hoped that he was well, and that the New York winter was much more forgiving than it was here at home.
The cloudy wisps of air formed by your breath floated upwards before they dissipated into the night sky. No wonder the balcony was empty â who would want to be out here when there were mozzarella stuffed mushrooms and central heating on the other side of the glass?
You heard the doors slide open behind you as someone else equally as crazy decided to step out into the cold. Just as well. It was time for you to head back anyways. You turned to make your way inside, only to freeze in your tracks.
âThey told me Iâd find you out here. You really know how to pick a spot, huh?â
A soft gasp left your mouth.
âJaehyun?â
He gave you a smile, your favourite smile, where his dimples were only just visible, and there was the hint of a pout to the shape of his lips. He was here, and he was in front of you, looking at you like you were the most wonderful thing in the world that he would ever have the good fortune of knowing. Your chest swelled almost painfully at the sight of him.
âWhen did you get back? How did you even get in here?â
âWe landed in Incheon earlier this afternoon. I had to pay the door guy outside a hundred bucks for him to let me in.â
Your eyes widened. âHe canât make you do that!â
âJust kidding,â Jaehyun chuckled. âI only had to show him my company ID.â
He walked over to where you stood by the railing and rested his arms against the metal. His profile was sharp against the darkness of the night sky, and you took a moment to study the details while he took in the view.Â
âAre you tired?â you asked. âIt canât be easy adjusting to the time difference.â
âA little,â he admitted. The bags under his eyes were dark and purple now that you could see his face up close. He must have been exhausted. Nobody ever slept well on long haul flights. âYou should see Johnny though. He would have come tonight, but jet lag is seriously kicking his ass.â
You shared a laugh, traces of your breaths mingling in the air. Beside him, you settled back into your original spot, mirroring the way he leaned against the metal railing. Jaehyun was close, but not too close, your elbows only a few centimetres apart. A mellow silence settled over the balcony as you gazed out at the river, watching the never-ending stream of cars as they circled the waterfront.Â
With even this, you were content. His mere presence next to you was a remedy in itself, regardless of the words shared or touches exchanged. You felt more at home in this moment now than you had in over 3 months.
âIâve missed you,â he said, still gazing out into the distance. The gravity in his voice hinted at circumstances beyond the recent season he had spent on the other side of the world. And yet, he had said it so simply, as if the words were an immovable truth that would withstand the corrosion of time.
âIâve missed you too,â you replied.
Maybe it was just that simple, because it was the truth. The nights weathered away in your own apartment were only lonely because there had been an absence of him, an absence that was known to you, even if you had not felt it for many years.
He turned to you, taking in a shaky breath. âI should never have let you go.â
âOh, Jaehyunââ
âI was young, and foolish, and I thought I knew what I wanted. And I had you, but I thought I wanted more, because I wanted everything. I wanted the whole damn world.â
Something sharp pricked behind your eyes as you listened to the honesty pouring out of him.
âAnd then I lost you, and it wasâgod, it was⌠like someone had sucked all the colour out of my life. And I had no one to blame, because I was the one who did that to myself. To us.â
It was so hard to not notice the pain etched into his beautiful features. The tight set of his jaw. The redness that rimmed his eyes. Your fingers ached to reach over and smooth out the crease between his brows.
âThere were so many things I could have done to make things right between us again. Even if you wouldnât have me back. But my pride, and my ego⌠I did nothingââ
âYou canât pin it all on yourself, Jaehyun,â you said, shaking your head. âI had no idea what I wanted. And even when I did, I never actedâI never stood up for myself. I couldâve fought for us, but I didnât. I just accepted everything. Hell, I never even told you how I felt.â
You flashed him a watery smile. âWe needed the time away from each other, donât you think?âÂ
There was a moment where the two of you simply stared at each other. A hurricane of repressed emotions swirled in your chest, finally breaking the surface five years on. Jaehyun must have felt the same, reliving all those memories now. You could see it on his face.
Youth was so beautiful, and precious â even the heartbreak, and all the other foolish things that came along with it.Â
âI let you go once, and maybe that was meant to happen.â He took a step closer. âBut weâre not dumb teenagers anymore. Iâm not⌠I wonât make the same mistake twice.â
His eyes locked on yours as he gazed at you with reverence. âDonât you still feel the same? Even after all these years?â
I do, you wanted to say.Â
You would have too, if it werenât for the small speck of white that landed in Jaehyunâs dark hair. It was visible for only a few seconds before melting away. You looked up and sure enough, the night sky was dotted with white.
âFirst snow,â you breathed, watching as the snowflakes fell from the sky. âDo you know what that means?â
Jaehyun gave you a small shake of his head. Of course. He never believed in superstitions.
You reached for his hand, feeling his fingers respond to yours immediately. He was so warm, and his touch breathed life back into your frozen body.
âIf you see the first snow with someone you love, it means that your love will be true and long-lasting.â
A few seconds passed as he took in your words, trying to make sense of them.
âYou⌠love me?â
âI do,â you admitted. A teardrop finally spilled out from your waterline, leaving behind a wet track on your cheek that stung in the cold. âEven when I thought I hated you, deep down, I think I still loved you.â
One of his hands came up to wipe away the trail of moisture from the escaped tear. The action sent a shiver through your entire body.
âI never stopped loving you,â he confessed softly, stroking your cheek. You felt it then, that deep, aching feeling that had threaded itself into the very marrow of your bones.Â
Longing. You longed for his presence, his smile, his touch. You longed to hold his heart in your hands again, and give him yours in exchange. You had missed him more than you could bear, and here he was, telling you his heart was where it had always been, sitting in the centre of your palm.Â
Perfect moments didnât exist, but damn did this one come close.
âCome here,â Jaehyun whispered, pulling you into him.Â
His mouth was just as sweet as you remembered. His lips were a little rougher, slightly chapped from the cold. His kiss was slow and patient, taking his time to explore the shape of your mouth and mould to it again. You felt his smile, the slight tension in his bottom lip giving him away, and you couldnât help but reciprocate, a quiet giggle bubbling in your chest before escaping through your lips.Â
âI really fucking missed you,â you mumbled against his mouth, another giggle accompanying the words. âYou kissed me and then you were on a plane to the other side of the world.âÂ
âI told you Iâd see you when I was back, didnât I?â he reminded, giving your waist a small squeeze. âAnd for the record, you kissed me. Not that it matters.â
You swatted a hand against his chest. âI see you still care too much about technicalities.â
Jaehyun only laughed, that deep and familiar sound you had craved to hear for the last 3 months. He pulled your hands into his warm ones, and pressed his lips to your knuckles.Â
âYour hands are cold,â he murmured, wrapping his fingers around yours.Â
âWell, I was about to head back inside when you found me. Itâs nice and toasty in there.â
âDo you want to go in now?â
You looped your arms around his neck and buried your head into the crook of it. âLetâs just stay out here for a little bit longer,â you said, words muffled by the fabric of his coat. âYou always run hot in the colder months anyways. Enough to keep me warm.â
He hummed in agreement, holding you flush against him as the snow fell around you. In his arms, you were the most at ease you had been in years, and the thought was almost enough to bring a fresh new wave of moisture to your eyes.Â
âWhat is thatâsomethingâs digging in,â he suddenly said, pulling away from you. His eyes landed on the pendant that had slipped out from underneath the lapels of your coat. Wordlessly, he reached for it, running his thumb across the pale pearl that hung from your neck.Â
âYou kept this?âÂ
âOf course,â you answered. âYou kept yours.â
He smiled, a big one, dimples marking his cheeks. âOf course,â he repeated.Â
âWeâre lucky, arenât we? To have found each other again after all this time?â
Jaehyunâs reply took the form of another sweet and unhurried kiss. It warmed you from the inside out, all the way down to the tips of your toes.
âSo weâre really doing this, right?â he asked. âWeâre giving us a second chance?â
You raised an eyebrow. âAre you telling me you said all that earlier just for shits and giggles?â
âOf course not,â he chuckled, squeezing your sides again. âI just wanted to make sure. I think I might lose faith in the world if you tell me you donât want to be with me.â
âYou have nothing to worry about,â you reassured. The snow was sticking to his hair, and you took a second to run your hands through it, brushing off the half-melted pieces. His eyes fondly followed your every movement.
âGood, because I plan on keeping you for a long time.â
You returned inside shortly after. The snow had picked up and it was clear that you couldnât stay out for much longer (unless you wanted hypothermia, which neither of you did). The function hall was much emptier now than it had been when you stepped out, and of the remaining faces, none of them were familiar.Â
A quick glance at your phone showed a few unread messages from Joy.Â
joy [08:32 pm]: hey, had to leave, doyoungâs still working tomorrow so itâs an early night for me joy [08:33 pm]: hope you and jaehyun work things out joy [08:33 pm]: iâm rooting for you guys!!
joy [08:37 pm]: also can you see if jungwoo is okay joy [08:38 pm]: i donât think heâs come out yet
âCan I ask a favour, just before we go?â
Jaehyun smiled back at you sweetly, devotion written in his eyes. âAnything.â
âPop into the menâs room and check if Jungwooâs still alive?â
Life was a funny thing.Â
âThere are so few things in life that are guaranteed. Death, for one, and taxes, for another. Sorry if that was a bit dark and killed the mood. You can laugh, by the way. But I think everyone here would agree, neither of those two are all that conducive to happiness.â
Roundabout.Â
âSo when the girl youâve been chasing, for what feels like an eternity, finally gives you a second chance, you absolutely cannot take it for granted. You grab onto that chance with both hands, and even your teeth if you have to. Itâs no guarantee for happiness, but itâs your best bet.â
Unpredictable.Â
âIâm not a God-fearing man, but Iâm a God-believing man. I thank God everyday for bringing such a magnificent woman into my life.â
He raised his glass.Â
âJoy, you make me the happiest person in the world, and I canât wait to be married to you.â
The crowd broke into warm applause as Doyoung finished off his impromptu speech by planting a kiss on his bride-to-be.
âHeâs so good at talking,â you mused, wrapping your arm around Jaehyunâs. âIf thatâs his toast for this, I wonder what his vows will be like.â
A year ago, you would never have believed that youâd be attending your co-workerâs engagement party, much less with your ex-boyfriend who you hadnât seen in 5 years. Spring had well and truly arrived, and with it came promises of love and new beginnings. The last rays of the April afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows of the riverside art centre. The venue was gorgeous, floating on the edge of the river with unobstructed views of the skyline and where it met the water â as always, Joy knew how to pick a spot.
âI didnât know she rejected him before they got together. He must have really liked her.â
Jaehyun gave you a crooked smile. âFour years of university, and he never gave up. Even when she started dating that blockhead from liberal arts.â
âI bet he wouldâve felt like the luckiest guy in the world when she finally said yes to a date,â you said, watching as the happy couple shared a moment, giggling about something nobody else was privy to. Jaehyun followed your gaze and made a small noise of agreement.
âNot as lucky as I am to have found you again.â
He ran his thumb across your knuckles. You couldâve sworn there was stardust sprinkled into those pretty brown eyes of his.
Life was a funny thing, for sure. It had a funny way of bringing back things you once thought you had lost forever. You knew now that you had to seize them before they passed by. Who knew if theyâd ever turn up again?
âOkay, thatâs enough.â
Jungwoo set his glass down on the table with a loud thunk, lightly startling you.
âIâm right here. You guys know that, right? I am right in front of you.â
A sheepish smile was thrown his way. âSorry.â You patted his hand once, softly. âYour time will come, Iâm sure of it,â you reassured. âHow did the date with the KU Business girl go?â
âI flaked,â Jungwoo said simply.
âNo! Why?â
He sighed. âBlind dates are really not my thing. Itâs too awkward. And it feels so superficial. Like, what if you have nothing in common, or thereâs no physical attraction, orââÂ
Jungwoo paused, cutting himself off. âActually, Iâm not talking about this with you people. Iâm going to get another drink.â With that, he turned and headed straight for the cocktail bar. You and Jaehyun gazed at him from behind as he walked off.
âIâm gonna be babysitting him again tonight, arenât I?â Jaehyun asked, the question directed at nobody in particular.
âPeople are going to start wondering if youâre dating me or him.â
His mouth curled into a smirk. âShould I give them a reminder?â
âMy boss is standing right over there, so no.â
Junmyeon and Irene were still going steady, to your surprise. Youâd probably be seeing more and more of him, since Joy and the rest of the Parks genuinely treated Irene like one of their own. The thought wasnât exactly a pleasant one, but not awful either. Maybe you were warming up to him.
âAlso, you should probably be careful about who you call blockhead,â you said to Jaehyun, holding back a smile.
He fixed you with a suspicious stare. âAnd whatâs that supposed to mean?â
âYou know,â you trailed off, gesturing vaguely at his head. The smile broke through, your cheeks lifting as you tried to keep the laughter from coming out. He, on the other hand, was thoroughly unimpressed.
âYou should really watch your mouth,â he said lowly, though he was smiling. There was a look in his eyes that sent a jolt straight to the pit of your stomach.
âOr what?â
His hands were all over you before you even made it through the door.
âMy beautiful, gorgeous, sexy girlfriend,â he mumbled, peppering your neck with kisses between each adjective. The keypad finally beeped and you pushed down on the handle, letting the door swing open as you pulled him in by the collar.
âStop talking and just kiss me,â you sighed, dragging his face back up to yours. He was all too eager to comply, mouth slotting over yours with practised ease. His tongue brushed along yours in the way he knew you liked, pulling your bottom lip into his mouth with just the right amount of pressure. Fire licked at your insides as he drew a light moan from you.
Four months in, the second time around, and everything with Jaehyun was still electrifying. Â
Your hands fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, finally succeeding with undoing the top one after a few tries. Hands came up around the back of your thighs, lifting you up onto his kitchen countertop. The marble was cool to the touch, and you felt it through the silk of your dress, a soft gasp of surprise flying from your mouth into his awaiting one.
âBeen wanting to do this all day, ever since you put this thing on,â Jaehyun rasped. The heat of his body radiated into you from where he stood between your parted legs. He was so warm up against you, and he smelled so good, you were positively light-headed with desire.
His mouth ghosted over the shell of your ear, sending a shiver through you. âYou look so fucking good,â he said, teeth gently grazing the skin of your neck. âMy pretty girl.â The quick press of his hips into yours pulled another moan out of you, and you braced a hand against the marble countertop.
Your fingers knocked against the edge of something sharp and sent it tumbling to the floor, where it landed with a heavier thud than you were expecting.
âWhat was that?â you forced out in between gasps. Jaehyunâs teeth nipped at your collarbone, showing no signs of letting up. âWait, Jae, something fell on the floor.â
You had smashed a mug in your apartment in the midst of it once. Better safe than sorry.
Reluctantly, Jaehyun detached himself from you and bent down to retrieve the fallen item. He was breathing hard as he picked up a thick, padded envelope, and flipped it over to read the details.
âPhotos,â he finally managed, tossing the package back onto the counter. âWe can look at them later.â
His mouth was on you again, working at the spot between your neck and shoulder that always had your knees weak and toes curling.Â
âWait,â you giggled, âmy film photos? I want to see.â He had sent the camera off almost two weeks ago, and you had been (im)patiently waiting for the developed pictures to be sent back.Â
Jaehyun looked up at you with hooded eyes. âReally? You want to look at them now?â
You nodded.Â
A beat passed before his face broke into a lazy smile.Â
âOkay,â he chuckled softly, reaching for the envelope again.Â
There was a good stack in there. The ones on top were more recent, with a few shots from his birthday that had recently passed. You had taken him ice skating at the outdoor rink atop Namsan Mountain. The twinkling lights that hung from the trees surrounding the rink were still beautiful, even through photos. Jaehyun was good at so many things that it was unfair â how could he be so talented and have a face like that? â but on that day, you discovered that ice skating was not one of his strengths, and the bruises on his tailbone could attest to that.Â
âThe colouring on these is really nice,â you murmured, flicking through the photos.
He hummed. âThey are. This place doesnât over-saturate the images, which is why I like them.â
A few more pictures from Christmas, where the two of you had set up a pillow fort â it had always been a childhood dream of yours â and stayed in watching movies for three whole days because it was too cold to do anything that required leaving the house. Funnily enough though, you had spent New Yearâs Eve out in the cold with a few thousand others, waiting for the annual fireworks. There were a few shots of those as well.Â
You neared the bottom of the stack, recognising the blur of colours that formed the crowd of the jazz festival from last year.
âAll of these are out of focus,â you complained, a pout adorning your lips. The shots of the stage, of the artists, even the one of Jaehyun and the cute face he made trying to fit the burger in his mouth. Only the two pictures of you were crisply defined, because he had taken them.Â
You flipped to the last photo. It was the one you took at the end of the show, during the closing bars of Lauvâs set. Miraculously, this one was in focus. You could see the press of your cheek against Jaehyunâs, and the slight surprise in his eyes as you had clicked the shutter. Lauv was nowhere to be seen, but maybe a clear shot of him as well would have been asking for too much.Â
âCan I say something cheesy?â Jaehyun asked softly.Â
âYouâll say it anyway.â
âI really wanted to kiss you. On this day.â
Strange, that it was these words which brought heat to your cheeks. Surely there were other things that would be more appropriate to blush about, instead of a months-late admission that was degrees more innocent than your current situation, where Jaehyunâs shirt was half undone, and the fabric of your dress was bunched up around your hips.Â
âI wanted to kiss you right there, in the crowd. And then I wanted to kiss you again, here, when you made that stupid ramen joke. And when you had that chilli flake stuck on the corner of your mouth.â
You set the last photo down on the counter and turned back to Jaehyun, who was still standing between your knees.Â
âAnd how about now?â you asked, the corners of your mouth lifting in a teasing smile.Â
He cradled your chin, tilting your face towards his, and let the pad of his thumb brush over the swell of your bottom lip.Â
âI think you already know the answer to that.â
The crescent moon was high and luminescent in the sky when you caught your breath again, the last few waves of euphoria ebbing away through your body. Jaehyun always indulged you.
Maybe a little too much.Â
You turned to him, nestling your face into the crook of his neck and breathing in the scent of soap and his skin. A finger lazily traced over the ridges of his stomach.Â
âThat tickles,â he mumbled into your hair. It mustâve still been damp from the shower, but he didnât seem to mind. Fatigue was already tugging away at him.Â
âDo you want me to stop?â you asked softly, looking up at him.Â
He shook his head, just slightly. âI like knowing youâre there.â
You resumed your movements, but it was only a few seconds before Jaehyun was shifting, soft laughs filling the intimate space of his bedroom. Â
âThat really does tickle,â he said, smile threaded into his voice. One of his hands reached for yours, pulling it up to rest against his chest. The gentle press of his lips on your forehead was a delicate thing.Â
You fell asleep like that, feeling the steady beat of his heart, quiet and sure beneath your fingertips. It was warm in his hold, and safe. There was no other home you needed to know.
#jaehyun#nct jaehyun#jaehyun x reader#jaehyun angst#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun smut#jaehyun fic#nct 127#nct 127 x reader#jeong jaehyun#nct jaehyun x reader#nct x reader#nct 127 fanfic#kaleidohscopic works
224 notes
¡
View notes
Text
What have I been up to?????
Hey all! I'm sure you're all cycling rapidly through the stages of grief like I am, but I thought I'd just check in and let everyone know what's going on with me and when they can expect more comics!
GOOD NEWS: I got a concept art job! I've been working freelance for a client for about two months now and things are going great! Honestly working on short assignments with weekly deadlines has been an amazing break from the slow, constant march of longform comics. I am surprising myself every day and haven't been this excited to learn and grow as an artist in a very long time. Moving forward, I would like to find a full time job in games and stay there, rather than continuing to hustle full-time in comics. I've paused my Patreon for the foreseeable future.
THAT BEING SAID: I will always be making comics!!!!!! I love them a lot, they've been good to me, and I have all these ideas in my head that NEED to be let out. I want to start making them in my own time, rather than as my main source of income. We'll see how long it takes to find true stability in concept (maybe never, lol) but in the meantime I will keep drawing my silly little guys and posting them online for everyone to see. I have to! I have to keep going and making the art I want to see in the world! We have to keep going!!!!
SAKANA: hoping to get back to the fish boys sooner rather than later. I've been stuck on whether to end the latest chapter right away or get a few more pages in there. We're moving into a HEAVY part of the plot, which will be trickier to write, so I've been procrastinating lol. Please don't take my extended absence as proof that I'm walking away from the story: I've just been busy with a new job and I don't know exactly how to get to the next chapter yet!! (also, jsyk, the Webtoon mirror is something I was doing for fun! not a priority!!)
RR: I actually have a few different projects started for RR! Chapter 2 is like 9 pages in, but then I paused and started work on a 20ish page minicomic, which is like 7 pages in. I'm going to finish the mini first and hopefully upload it to itch.io. For Chapter 2, I created this really elaborate environment in an effort to force myself to learn Blender, but then I got a job....so I have no time to learn Blender lol. Still trying to figure out whether to simplify or push forward.
OTHER: yeah...I am a comic artist at heart so obviously I have a million things I want to do. But SAKANA and RR are the highest priority right now!
UPCOMING: I am pursuing other freelance work for shorter, more manageable projects! If you need somebody to redline all your thumbnails, critique the first draft of your synopsis, or make a 20-40 page comic, please keep me in mind!
In closing: I'm locking my twitter accounts tonight and moving away from the platform for now. I'll be here, Instagram (@/mad_rupert), and BlueSky (@/madrupert). Thanks for sticking with me, let's hold onto and support each other in the coming weeks, months, and years! Let's keep going!!!!! I love you all so much!!!
183 notes
¡
View notes
Text
pretend | alexia putellas x reader
Alexia contemplates her feelings as you pretend a drunken kiss between you two never happened.
contains: angst, some making out, barçafemeni!reader, avoidant!reader, just a lot of angst tbh | word count: 2k+
a/n: not proofread, just wrote this cause i couldnt sleep and was listening to lizzy mcalpine's hate to be lame which gave me this idea
it's always on the tip of my tongue but i stop myself from saying it tell myself it's not the right time or something dumb
The last night of the Champion's League celebration was supposed to be just like any other victory partyâloud, drunk, messy. On nights like this, it was natural to make a fool of yourself.
Alexia was never immune to the drunken stupidity â the typical drunken dancing and singing, foolish antics that got the team laughing. (In one victory party, Alexia found herself dancing with someone else's sports bra wrapped around on her head.)
But on that particular, her drunken act of stupidity wasn't just loud karaoke or making a fool of herself. No, it was way different.
At some point, during the night, you two had gotten drunk and began grinding on each other at the dance floor. It was normal for teammates to get a bit touchy during parties so no one bat an eye but Alexia knew this thing happening between you two was different.
It started with playful dancing then you somehow found a way to plant a few kisses on her neck. Somehow, you two ended up stumbling into the vacant restroom, kissing each other desperately.
Some kind of tension has always lingered between the two of you before but Alexia always chalked it up to the two of you being newly single. She always brushed it off, thinking it might just be her reading into things. Afer all, you have always been her type and she figured she might be interpreting your dynamic through wishful thinking.
But that night, that small tension she felt burst into something more, and she understood that this meant it wasn't just her who felt attraction towards the other.
She felt your hands desperately cling onto her as you locked lips. Your tongue glided on her bottom lip before ultimately finding its way into her mouth. You took turns pinning each other against the flimsy walls of the cramped stall.
Alexia's hand has found it way to your neck, gently tilting your head up with it before pressing her mouth against your neck to kiss, lick, and bite at you. You gasped in satisfaction as the taller girl kissed your neck.
You grabbed her face again to kiss her deeper, more intensely. Alexia felt that this was the type of kiss that could lead to something more; the likelihood of you crossing that line increasing with every minute that passed.
You gently pushed her off of you, as you tried to catch a breath. Your eyes remained locked as you stayed within close proximity. After a while, you noticed the hunger in Alexia's eyes simmer down into something more... soft and intimate.
This time, Alexia gently touched your face and moved to capture your lips again but this time, you looked away and avoided her kiss. You sighed before hurriedly unlocking the stall, walking out the restroom, and leaving Alexia all alone without even a goodbye.
Alexia felt dumbfounded. She thought that this kiss was your way of addressing the tension, a way of telling her that maybe you felt attracted to her too. But with the sudden exit, she began to doubt herself.
She wanted to talk to you about it the next time you saw each other but it became immediately evident to her that you were set on pretending like nothing happened.
You still joked with her in training, still bantered with her, tell stories like normal. You acted exactly like you did before; it was as if she dreamt up the kiss.
She played along like nothing had shifted, like your kiss had been meaningless. She even laughed at your jokes during training. But every word felt like a lie, every shared laughter felt like a stab.
In her mind, she wished you'd at least act different. She would rather you hated her or avoided her, somethingâanything to confirm that there was something real, something more.
But you acted like it was nothing.
She felt like she was going crazy, even doubting her own sanity at some point. She spent the past few months trying to forget it ever happened. But the more she tried, the more it hurt her. Because how could you pretend that all fo that was nothing... when it felt like everything for her.
But then you kiss me like you do And we're right back where we started from
It was Pinaâs birthday.
Alexia initially didn't want to go. It was in the middle of the season and she knew that the team captain being there meant everyone would be too hesitant and shy to drink, knowing she was around.
But she knew how Pina was, and she knew Pina would pester her endlessly if she didn't at least make an appearance.
So, she did. She went to the place late and much to her surprise, most of the team was behaving. A few of the players were nursing a bottle of beer but nothing excessive. She figured she must have done something right for her teammates to be so well-disciplined even without her hovering around them.
Well... she thought that until she saw you.
Of course, she's drunk. She thought to herself.
You were already tipsy, practically glowing, and laughing too loudly. The sight of you sent a jolt of something unfamiliar through her.
You had your arms wrapped around Caro, who was trying too hard to help you sober up by making you drink from a bottle of water. Alexia sighed and made her way to save Caro from your drunkenness.
Caro gave her a thankful look as she took over in aiding to you. She let you drape your arms around her as she wiped the stray hairs that stuck to your face.
"In the middle of the season?" She asked you in a stern voice. "Really?"
You frowned at her. "You wouldn't get it."
Alexia just sighed as she continued what Caro was doing, desperately trying to get you to sober up. "Did something happen?"
You stayed silent but you were too easy to read when you were drunk. Your glazed expression gave away that you were going through something. You still had an arm wrapped around Alexia, as if to keep yourself balanced, but you were also trying to avert your gaze away from her.
Alexia sighed. "I should take you home."
You bit your lip but you nodded. Alexia sighed and held your waist as you kept an arm around her; she was afraid if she let go, you'd fall over.
The car ride was silent. She wanted to talk to you about why you were getting irresponsibly drunk, why you seemed upset and... why you acted like your kiss never happened. But instead, she stayed silent, and as did you.
Alexia pulled up to your apartment building. After she parked, you unclasped your seatbelts but neither of you made a move to exit the car.
Alexia sighed. "Do you wanna talk... about anything?"
You shifted your gaze towards her, taking in how pretty she looked tonight. She was wearing a leather jacket on top of a cropped shirt, revealing a sliver of her abdomen. Your eyes now fluttered to her face. You took in her warm eyes, her nose, her lips. She looked so besutiful even under the dim lighting. You thought, fuck, why does she have to be so gorgeous?
You hummed. "I'm sorry I took you away from the party... especially since you look so good tonight."
Alexia started growing anxious as you said those words. "Well, I didn't really plan on going anyway..." Alexia said.
Drunkenly, you reached out to cup her face and guiding it upward so she'd meet your gaze. You stayed that way for a bit, just looking at each other's eyes. Until finally, you couldn't take it.
You leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss. It was more gentle than before, more intentional. As you pulled away, you studied her expression but Alexia just looked pained.
She sighed and looked away, causing your hand on her cheek to drop. She took a deep breath as she gripped the steering wheel with her hands and rested her head on top of it.
Emotions were overwhelming her. This was the long overdue confirmation she wanted from you so bad yet... it felt so wrong.
After a minute, Alexia finally spoke. "Why?"
"Huh? Why what?" You asked back.
She lifted her head slightly and locked eyes with you again. "Just... why?"
You sighed. "I don't know... I just want to kiss you."
Alexia looked exasperated. She took a moment to think. Do you remember last time? Why did you act like it never happened? Why do you want to kiss me now? Why do you only want to kiss me when you're drunk? Do I mean something? Do the kisses mean something? Do you... like me like I like you?
She had a million questions flying around her head but she settled on one. "Tell me honestly. Do you remember the last time we kissed?" She locked eyes with you and this time, you could see pain behind them. She tried to be firm with the way she asked but the vulnerability seeped through.
You blinked at her. âI think about it all the time,â you admitted before you could even consider lying; your inebriation made you too honest.
Alexia chest tightened as she felt hurt by the admission. Am I not supposed to be happy... that she thinks about it too like I do?
Before she could react, you were trying to lean in again as your face cupped her cheek, trying to kiss her. And that's when Alexia snapped into clarity.
No. You were drunk. This wasnât... healthy. She couldn��t let herself do this again, not when everything between you was so confusing, so undefined.
âNo,â Alexia whispered, gently pushing you away, though her hands shook with the desire to do exactly the opposite.
You looked at her with an expression that could only read as upset to Alexia but she tried to ignore it as she unlocked your car door. "I think you should go."
You stayed steady for a minute, twiddling your thumbs then staring at her but she kept her head low, trying so hard not to look at you until you finally stepped out without another word.
Hate to admit but it might be true Hate to admit but I think you knew Hate to be lame but I might love you
After that night, as expected, you didn't acknowledge the kiss. But this time, you started acting cold.
No more joking around. No more banter. You'd be laughing it up with the other Barça girls but as soon as Alexia came over, you'd bail and make an excuse to avoid her.
It was killing her, just being like this. Mapi had taken notice and pulled Alexia aside to ask if she was alright, which Alexia just hesitantly nodded.
Mapi didn't believe it for a moment. "Is it because of..." Mapi trailed off as she discreetly turned her gaze towards you as you were busy on your phone in the locker room.
Alexia sighed and said nothing but that was enough confirmation for Mapi. She sighed. "You need to talk it out," She said. "It's kinda affecting your dynamic on and off the pitch."
Alexia knew Mapi was right. Not only was it taking a toll on her emotions to be dealing with this awkward tension and silent avoidance, it wasn't long before shit gets worse and the team performance is affected. If it was only affecting her, she would have dropped the whole issue but she knew this was beyond you and her.
She caught you before training the next day, her voice sharp but shaking as she confronted you. "Can we talk?"
You sighed and nodded. "Yeah, Capi?"
She winced at the nickname, knowing that it was your tactic to distance yourself from her. Just another subtle way of deflecting.
âI know you feel the same way,â Alexia blurted it out, her words tumbling out too quickly. She regretted being so outright but she also no longer wanted to waste time. She had to do what she had to do.
Alexia sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. âAnd... it hurt when you acted like nothing happened. Like it didnât matter.â Her chest heaved with the weight of everything she hadnât said.
You stayed silent which just forced Alexia into doing all the talking. "I don't know what's going on with you but... why me? Why are you roping me into this?"
"It's nothing." You muttered.
Alexia grew frustrated. "Bullshit."
"What do you want me to do, Alexia?" Your eyes finally met hers.
"I don't know." She groaned. "Admit you like me too... or even just admit you kissed me. Tell me why you did. Tell me if it mattered. Fuck, I'd settle with you telling me it was a mistake. I just... need to hear from you that..."
"Nothing happened,â you said firmly, almost as if to convince yourself as much as her.
Alexiaâs heart sank. She was there just begging for you to admit it did, even if you say it was a mistake; she just needed to hear it from you. Instead, you denied her again.
âButââ
âDrop it,â you snapped, turning quickly, rushing away before she could say anything more.
She watched you go, her hands shaking at her sides. There was nothing more she could do. She was left standing there, confused and hurt, unable to understand why it hurt so much. How could you pretend it meant nothing when everything inside her screamed that it meant everything?
Do I love her? Do I need her? Do I want her? Do I care enough to say That I love her, that I need her? 'Cause I don't but I wanna feel okay
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months and Alexia still couldn't forget what happened.
Your dynamic on the pitch suffered for a bit but it recovered. And pretty soon, you were acting normal again around her.
As if nothing, nothing at all, had happened.
For a while, Alexia had convinced herself she had moved on from it. It was just two kisses, she told herself on multiple occasions. You don't even like her that much.
But there were nights when she couldn't help but be consumed with confusion and frustration. She hated how it happenedâhow you treated her, how you pretended nothing was real.
On most days, she hated you. She acted normal around you, sure, but there was an added layer now. Everything was more guarded. Even if she asked you often how you were and laughed at your jokes, your relationship was hurt and it could never go back to how it was.
And even if she did despise you for what you did... she still couldnât stop the way her heart raced when she saw you. She couldnât shut off the part of her that still hoped that maybe, one day, you'd admit to her that it did happen and maybe that you feel a certain softness for her too.
But she knew it wasn't happening any time soon and now, all she can do is what you do best â pretend.
#Spotify#couldnt sleep so what do i do... write angst#sorry i know i promised fluff but WHAT CAN I DO WHEN THE DESIRE TO WRITE ANGST TAKES OVER#this is literally unedited unreviewer not proofread just me typing rapidly on the tumblr mobile app#hope u still enjoy#woso community#woso fic#woso fanfic#woso x reader#woso imagine#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas fic#alexia putellas fanfic
221 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Jac Schaeffer on Agathario, Rio as Nicky's dad, Rio' scar speech
Some highlights from the Jeff Goldsmith Podcast.
Jeff: That brings us obviously speaking of relationships to Agatha and Rio, you have a very interesting foundation and I know if stuff was cut, you wouldn't be able to speak exactly on some of it, but I'm curious, was there more there? It's good to leave your audience wanting more. And people have speculated as to whether or not there was more of a flashback between them and more of their history.
Jac: There was more in the writer's room. There was never any more on the page. We sort of, it was our story instinct, I would say, that getting too far into their backstory would sort of be too much of a counterweight to the Nicky material. And so we really included what we felt was vital to this chapter. But we, we certainly talked about it at great length of how they met and what their relationship was and what it looked like in happier times and all of that.
And I didn't anticipate that the shippers would be so fervent that there would be, you knowâ and Iâit feels foolish for not â you never know how anything is gonna land and you never know if people are gonna care.
And the amount that people care is staggering to me. And it's my hope that in the MCU there's more unpacking of the Agatha and Rio backstory.
Jeff: You were talking about the shipping group, like was there ever anything about Nicholas's father or is there any credence to the concept that it could have been born as the love child between these two?
Jac: Yes. I mean, we talked about a lot of different versions of who is the father of Nikki. And we ultimately decided that for Agatha's story, it wasn't relevant to the story we were trying to tell and we didn't really wanna get into the weeds of if it was magical or, y'know â that's again â it's sort of more rules.
We certainly considered the idea that Rio is the father. I wonder if I should ask the writers if they sort of still hold that in their hearts. It's something that I certainly thought about a lot and, and like to sort of contemplate. I enjoy that it is left to fan interpretation.
I also feel that I know how the MCU works and I don't think it serves anybody to sort of for me as the creator to emphatically tell you something that isn't on screen. Because, you know, like I said, it's my hope that these stories continue.
So, so perhaps there is a later chapter that will address this, but I, but I will say that, that when we were casting, sometimes we were like, "Does that kid look like Rio? Does that kid look like Aubrey Plaza?"
Jeff: So it's a path that, that is...
Jac: Fans and viewers, yes, areâ I think they're picking up on our brainwaves for sure.
Jac: [on the toughest scenes to do] And then Rio's like little speech by the campfire was really hard.
So Giovanna Sarkees wrote a beautiful monologue that was quite long. And then it was one of those things that on the day Aubrey was doing it, and it wasn't Aubrey's fault, but it just wasn't clicking. It didn't feel right for what Aubrey had brought to the role. There's so much economy in what Aubrey does, you know, like she accomplishes so much with her physicality and her very being, that this long speech just felt wrong to me.
And I changed it on the day âwhich is always a risk â I changed it in the moment and the "she is my scar" I came up with, watching her do that.
#agatha all along#agathario#agatha x rio#tv: Agatha all along#ship: vidarkness#here you guys go#enjoy
169 notes
¡
View notes
Text
"They didn't used to be like this."
Misha kicks his legs, swinging them over the edge of the rooftop. Sofia, next to him, swings more jarringly, even if just to keep the two of them in time.
They're talking about Helios again. It seems they're all the two of them talk about these days.
"But they are now. Don't you think you deserve to have something more?"
"What, like you?" Misha winces as the words leave his mouth. "I didn't mean-"
"I know."
Their relationship is nothing like it used to be when they were kids, and that's probably for the best. But the line they walk now is uneasy friendship, with all the pitfalls that come from being bitter exes, then enemies, then allies, before rekindling into anything remotely friendly. They swing wildly between quiet, comfortable companionship shared on nights like tonight, and sharp comments that shine a light on the work they still need to do.
"I don't 'have' Helios, Sofia," Misha says, making air quotes around "have" in a way that suggests he's trying, very hard, to appear derisive and detached.
"They're in your life, though." Sofia turns to look at Misha, tucks one knee up under her chin. "And that's great. It's what you wanted. But I can't help but think..."
"Oh, not thinking's pretty easy."
He's aiming for lightness, for brevity, but even Misha knows the joke's fallen flat.
"I can't help but think," Sofia pushes on, "that this isn't what you wanted. Not really."
Misha says nothing.
"You said it yourself. They didn't used to be like this. You deserve better."
"You think this isn't better? You think better is when I knew, in my heart, every time they looked at me, that they resented me? You think better was living in secret because the one person I love is the one person who can never know? My relationship with Helios now is exactly what I deserve. It's what they deserve. It's not perfect, and it's going to take time, but it's not a lie. It's not seething resentment. It's..."
He trails off. Sofia doesn't reply. Standard, these days. Misha sighs.
"I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a chill night. I shouldn't have brought it up. I just... They're different. And I don't know how to... to... to be around them now."
"I don't think any of us know how to be around each other right now," Sofia says quietly. Misha knows she means it generally - that they're learning how to be friends, how to exist in the same space, but it still brings the sharp sting of rejection when she stands.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Mishka."
Writing Prompt #2867
"He didn't used to be like this."
"But he is now. Don't you think you deserve something more?"
#lost space debris#aka canon diverges into space debris#there's still room for angst in space debris#pre-space debris#post canon#post finding misha arc#oc#my ocs#writing prompt
252 notes
¡
View notes
Text
for understanding // leah williamson
a/n : everyone experiences neurodivergence differently, and this isnât an accurate representation of all neurodivergent people, this is solely based of my personal experience with autism, though neurodivergence comes in many different forms and not just autism.
leah williamson x neurodivergent!reader
part of the perfect universe
The restaurant is beautiful, with low lighting, flickering candles, and soft music drifting from speakers tucked in the corners. You know Leah wanted tonight to feel special. Sheâd spent the last few days excitedly planning, keeping the details a secret. And youâd felt her excitement tooâuntil you actually stepped inside.
Now, seated across from her, you can feel your pulse quickening in a way that has nothing to do with anticipation. The hum of voices, the clinking of silverware, the constant movement all around youâit feels like the walls are slowly pressing in, making it hard to concentrate on the menu or on anything at in all honestly. You attempt to meet Leahâs gaze, forcing a smile, but your hands are trembling slightly, and youâre sure sheâs noticed.
âHey,â Leah says gently, her eyes softening as she reaches across the table for your hand. She gives it a reassuring squeeze, her thumb rubbing circles against your skin in a way that usually calms you. âYou good?â
The words catch in your throat. You donât want to disappoint her, not when sheâs gone to so much effort. You know how much this evening means to her, and you donât want to ruin it. But every part of you wants to leave, to escape the noise and the lights and be somewhere quieter.
Leah watches you closely, her expression shifting as she seems to read the discomfort on your face. Her hand tightens around yours, and her smile turns soft, understanding. âYou know what,â she says, almost as if sheâs talking to herself, âI really canât stop thinking about those new pyjamas we bought, the really soft and warm ones, and sitting by the fire place? do you mind if we go back home?â
You blink, taken aback. Sheâs suggesting exactly what you wantâwithout you even having to ask. Relief floods over you so quickly itâs almost overwhelming, and you nod, unable to speak past the lump in your throat.
Leah smiles, her eyes warm, and she waves over the waiter to ask if they can pack everything up to go. Within minutes, youâre walking back out into the cool night air, her arm looped through yours. As you breathe in the quiet of the night, you feel the tension in your body finally beginning to ease. Leahâs hand squeezes yours gently, and she glances over at you with a reassuring smile.
Back at home, Leah quickly lights the fireplace and puts on one of your favorite playlists, turning the volume down low. She comes over with the takeout bags, setting everything up on the coffee table. The flickering glow of the fire casts warm shadows across the room, and you can already feel your muscles relax as the heat starts to fill the room. You settle down onto the couch, pulling a soft blanket over your lap, and Leah sits beside you, her arm wrapping around your shoulders.
She nudges a takeout container towards you, grinning as she unwraps her own. âSee? Much better,â she murmurs, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to your temple. âNo crowds, no noiseâjust us.â
You nod, feeling the weight lift a little more with every second in her presence. âIt is really really nice,â you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.
The two of you eat in comfortable silence, occasionally laughing over shared bites or nudging each other to try something new. Thereâs no pressure, no rushâjust the simple joy of being together. And as the fire crackles softly beside you, you realize youâve never felt so at ease.
After dinner, Leah suggests making hot chocolate, and you watch as she disappears into the kitchen, humming softly. When she returns, sheâs carrying two steaming mugs, the tops piled high with whipped cream and marshmallows. She hands you one, settling back onto the couch beside you, her fingers lacing through yours.
âYou know,â she says, her voice soft, âI donât ever want you to feel like you have to hide how youâre feeling. If somethingâs too much, you can tell me. Iâm here for you, I would genuinely do anything in the world if it meant you were happy and comfortableâ
You take a shaky breath, her words filling you with a warmth that has nothing to do with the fire or the hot chocolate. âSometimes⌠itâs just kinda hard to say it out loud,â you admit, your gaze fixed on the marshmallows melting in your mug. âI donât want to let you down.â
Leah tilts her head, giving you a small, understanding smile. âYou could never let me down,â she whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. âYour comfort is more important to me than any silly dinner reservation, and in my opinion everyone there seemed too posh and stuck up for my likingâ
You look up, meeting her gaze, and your heart swells at the sincerity in her eyes. She means it. Sheâs always been patient with you, understanding in a way that makes you feel like youâre finally seen. And sitting here, wrapped up together with the night stretching peacefully ahead, you realize just how deeply you love her.
As the fire begins to die down, Leah pulls you closer, tucking you into her side, your head resting on her shoulder. You feel her hand gently rubbing your arm, a steady, soothing motion that slowly lulls you into a state of contentment. The world outside feels far away, and all that matters is this momentâthis quiet, perfect moment with her.
âThank you,â you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.
âFor what?â she asks, her voice equally soft.
âFor⌠knowing me. For understanding me.â
Leah presses a kiss to the top of your head, her fingers still tracing gentle circles against your arm. âIâm just lucky I get to love you,â she says, her words a quiet promise. âAnd Iâll always be here for you, okay? No matter what.â
You close your eyes, letting her words wrap around you like a blanket. In her arms, with the soft glow of the fire casting warmth over the room, you feel a peace youâve never known before. And as you drift off in her embrace, you know, without a doubt, that this is exactly where you belong.
#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#woso#woso imagine#leah williamson imagines#leah williamson x you#leah williamson one shot#leah williamson fluff#angst#leah williamson angst
96 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Threeâs Company
This is just a lil blurb about Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan and you being in love! Based on the following Request: @satans-bitch Hi! Idk if you would be comfortable writing it, but I love the idea of Aaron hotchner x reader x Derek Morgan just all being so in love with each other. Thank u Xx â I took some creative libertiesâŚI hope you like it!
Hotch x BAU! Fem Reader x Morgan
Word count: 883
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, Fem reader, pet names, poly-relationship (Iâm not the most familiar with this lifestyle) canon typical violence, mantion of babies and pregnancy, Let me know if I missed any.
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
So, neither Derek nor Aaron ever and I mean EVER thought theyâd be in a polyamorous relationship. But let me tell you, when you arrived at the BAU, they both knew they had to have you. Aaron had gone to Dave time and time again seeking advice and Derek did the same with Penelope.
Theyâd both complain that there was no way you were interested, because clearly you like the other guy. Only, that wasnât quite the issue.
You didnât just like Aaron or Derek, you liked them both. They were so similar and yet so different and there was no way you could ever choose just one of them.
After many instances of the men fighting for your attention and affection, you pulled them both aside to have a serious conversation.
âI think I should leave the BAU.â You stated.
âWhat? No!â Derek blurted.
âWhy would you think that?â Aaron inquired. âIf our behavior has made you uncomfortable, I am so sorry. It was never my intention, and I would hate to see such a talented agent leave because of my idiocy.â
âItâs not your guyâs behavior thatâs making me feel this way. Itâs my feelings for you.â You said, gesturing to both men.
âFeelings for who?â Derek questioned.
âBoth of you.â You blushed.
That evening youâd explained to the men that you had feelings for both of them and had the situation been different youâd have suggested a poly relationship, but you knew that it was too much to ask of two alpha males whoâd never been in one before.
What you hadnât expected to happen was for them to give you a quizzical look and then ask you to give them some time to think about it.
--
It had been nearly a year since then and the three of you had developed something truly beautiful. Aaron had been so stoic at work but at home he was soft, and he always did everything in his power to ensure you and Derek were both cared for.
And well Derek, he was clingy at home. Always wanting his hands on you and heâd come to really enjoy having physical contact with Aaron.
Like when youâd watch a movie, Aaron would have his arm slung over the back of the couch while you cuddled up into his side, and Derek would be sitting as close to you as possible, practically sitting you in his lap. This position would allow for Aaronâs hand to rest around Derek as well and that warmth became a comfort for him.
There had been another shift shortly after that, pet namesâŚtheyâd been slipping out more frequently. And not just them men using them with you either.
âSweetheart can you pass me my phone?â Aaron had asked, looking directly at Derek.
âSure thing sugar.â Derek had replied.
You had been shocked initially, but it ultimately had warmed your heart to see them falling into this relationship more and more. Their comfort in this had been your main priority, you hadnât cared about anything else.
--
Work had been the toughest part of this newfound dynamic. When any of you got hurt on a case, the other two couldnât exactly hold it together. And with the team being out of the loop of your lifestyle, well they definitely suspected something.
The most recent had been Aaron, he had been shot while taking down an unsub. Thankfully it had been a flesh wound, but when you heard the shot and saw him go down, you couldnât help the wail that tore through you. The paramedics had requested you step away, and Derek pulled you into his embrace to get you to comply.
âBaby heâs gonna be okay!â Derek said while holding you close.
âHe was shot D! What if heâs not?â You cried.
âI know heâs gonna be okay baby. He has to be.â Derek mumbled the last part.
You looked up to see the tears falling from his misty eyes, and you held him tighter. The team sat by and watched the situation play out, fully convinced now that something was transpiring between the three of you. More than they had initially assumed.
--
The newest development had been the discussion of children. The guys had baby fever, they had seen you interacting with your sisterâs newborn and you swear you saw them both drooling over the sight of you.
SoâŚhave you ever thought about having kids princess?â Derek posed.
Currently you were lying on the couch, your head in Derekâs lap and him pressed against Aaron. The movie playing, long forgotten as Derek combed his fingers through your hair and Aaron traced shapes on Derekâs bicep.
âUm, yesâŚI have thought about it. Why do you ask?â You sat up.
âWell, honey, we had a conversation about it the other day.â Aaron clarified.
âYou twoâŚhad a conversation about me having a baby?â You questioned.
âAbout usâŚhaving a baby.â Derek said, gesturing to the three of you.
Your jaw dropped in shock. What had started as inappropriate flirting in the workplace had developed into a serious relationship between the three of you. One fueled by love, safety, and trust.
âI would love to have a baby with you guys.â You smiled. âI love you.â
âI love you.â
âI love you.â
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch hotchner#hotch#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds#aaron x reader#hotch x reader#hotch x you#hotch x y/n#criminal minds fandom#thomas gibson#aaron hotch x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch fluff#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotchner x you#agent hotchner#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotch#derek morgan#derek x reader#hotchgan#derek morgan x y/n#derek morgan oneshot#derek morgan fanfic
96 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I didnât know I wanted you (Until I couldnât have you)
Part 3/5
For the next 3 weeks, it had become nearly impossible for Buck and Tommy to have much free time to see each other.
And see each other, in Buckâs mind, is having one on one time with Tommy, without Eddie. Sure âhanging out with the boysâ was fun and all, but there was a lighter element in the air when Buck was alone with Tommy. He couldnât quite describe it, but sometimes, he preferred it, craved it, even. He could be sitting right next to Tommy during a beer and movie night with Eddie and still feel so far away from him.
The most interesting surprise for Buck was Tommy texting him during one of their movie nights.
They shared a glance, smiling at one another.
Thatâs really weird. I canât say that!
Buck tucked his lips in, trying to contain himself. Tommy was sitting close by and he didnât want him to see a big, stupid smile on his face.
When he briefly glanced up at Tommy, he was already looking his way. Buck shot him a half-smirk and a nod, and Tommy nodded back.
His heart was racing again.
Tommyâs really cool.
The next day, Buck and Tommy met for dinner and beers. They joked, they laughed, they had a great time.
âHowâve you been doing? I know you told me plenty about how Gerrardâs been treating you. You okay?â
âAs okay as Iâll ever be. I miss Bobby. The energy of the 118 isâŚdifferent now. I just hate it. I love my job. But I-I hate this feeling.â
Tommy nodded in understanding. âSometimes change can be good, but sometimes change can ruin your day-to-day life. Especially when itâs a person single-handedly trying to make your life a living hell.â
âExactly. Thatâs all heâs been doing for weeks.â
Tommy looked at Buck with soft, sympathetic eyes. His gaze felt like a comforting hug, and Buck couldnât look away. He couldnât resist the urge to just fall in.
âEvanâŚI know itâs not easy.â Tommy smiled. âBut youâre doing great. Youâre one of the strongest people I know.â
Buck broke eye contact, sheepishly looking away. âI-I just feel a little defeated sometimes.â
âIâm sure Bobby will get his job back sooner or later. Itâs just the natural order of things. The 118 belongs together, right?â
Buck nodded in agreement. âRight!â
âReady to get outta here and head to the theater?â
âUhâyeah. Letâs go.â
After seeing a double feature of two amazing films Buck had never even heard of, Tommy rode with him in an Uber back to his place and Buck offered him a cup of coffee.
âHey, so, Wednesday, youâre coming with us for drinks, right?â
Tommy sadly sighed. âSorry, I canât. I have a date.â
âA-a date?â Buck forced a smile. Why did this bother him so much? âWhoâs the lucky person?â
âJustâŚsomeone I met during my run.â Tommy answered dismissively. âBut maybe we can do something next weekend?â
Buck nodded. âYâahâyeahâyeah. Next weekend sounds great.â
âGreat!â Tommy looked down at his phone. âMy Uber should be here in 5, Iâm gonna head down. Text you when I get home.â
âOkay uhâŚsee you later.â
Buck held his breath until the door shut behind Tommy and he let out an exasperated sigh, shoulders drooping with disappointment.
He wasnât sure what was bothering him, until he remembered what Tommy said at dinner.
Sometimes change can be good, but sometimes change can ruin your day-to-day life. Especially when itâs a person single-handedly trying to make your life a living hell.
Not that whoever Tommy was dating would intend to make his life hell in some way, but just the thought of spending less time with Tommy made him feel a loneliness he hadnât felt in a long time.
Buck felt strangely about the way their conversation ended. He only had himself to blame for being so dismissive. He couldnât fight the nagging thought that he had to fix it somehow.
Buck didnât want the conversation to end. It was late, and surely they were both exhausted, but every second that passed, he felt like Tommy was slowly slipping away from him.
He hated this stupid thought. Tommy didnât belong to him. Tommy was his friend. He was Eddieâs friend. He was everyone at the 118âs friend.
He couldnât shake the feeling that they shared a special friendship. One unlike the friendship he shared with everyone else. Buck was the only one Tommy wanted to take on weekly hiking trips. Buck was the one Tommy texted late at night to just talk and distract him from what stressed him out. In a way, Buck felt like Tommy was his.
And he was going to lose him.
#i didn't know i wanted you (until i couldn't have you)#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#firefly.social#firebeast.doc
84 notes
¡
View notes
Note
I 100% agree with you that that was lazy writing. What was the point of deliberately picking someone the audience (and the 118) were familiar with to be Buck's LI when they could have picked some random. What was the point in delving into Tommy's history and his feelings, what was the point of showing him head over heels for Buck in the last ep, of getting a gift for their 6 month anniversary only to say "oh well, I figured we wouldn't last, so I'm gonna get out now before you break my heart". Why let him get that involved if Tommy's ideology was to never allow himself to move forward in the relationship because ultimately he thought it wouldn't last? It's whiplash for the audience after you saw how INVESTED Tommy was in the last ep! And how exactly is this Buck getting off the hamster wheel? This relationship has ended pretty much exactly like all his others - he gets invested, they leave! They had so much potential as a couple - seeing what it's like for two fire-fighters to date knowing they're both in risky jobs, maybe Buck having to meet/deal with Tommy's homophobic father, getting to explore a "new" character's back story instead of rehashing the same story lines from the mains as well as seeing more of how Buck deals with being in a same sex relationship. All wasted.
And since they referenced Glee, if the plan is for it to echo the Kurt/Blaine relationship in that show where they broke up so they could "explore" before getting back together, by doing so they ruined that relationship so much that by the end it wasn't satisfying that they WERE endgame - they weren't the couple we fell in love with. (And also, way to reinforce the negative stereotype of "you can't ever be long term with your first". I should let my sister, my cousin and my aunt know even though they've all been married for years to their husbands - all their first.) Even if they do decide to bring Tommy back down the line, would it even be the same relationship we fell in love with? Would we even trust the writers to stick with it and treat it well? Or if they did a final episode reunion so Buck doesn't end the series alone, how is that satisfying for the audience?
I have been watching 911 since it started, and I have always been part of the general audience up until S7 where I joined the fandom because I thought Buck/Tommy were adorable. It's the first time in years I've become invested in a couple on a show. It's the first time in years that I've dipped my toes back into a fandom. Like you, this ship inspired me to write fic again. I have a bunch of wip's waiting to be posted on ao3 and I honestly don't know if I'll finish them now. And if they have broken them up for Buddie to get together I think I'll stop watching. And not just because I never saw them as a romantic couple (I only ever saw a deep friendship) but because logistically I don't see it working. Besides the fact that I think that while they work as friends, they probably wouldn't gel as a couple, two people on the same team in a relationship? That will screw up the 118 dynamic, especially as this show looooves relationship drama. If they get in a fight, or worse, break up, then what? How would that work within the 118, unless someone transfers out, but then it's bye bye the 118 we love. And not to mention, in the only 4 months I have been in this fandom I have seen some VILE crap from the buddies, and from what I understand it they've been like that for years. And the show runners know about it, so if they go with Buddie, congratulations, you've rewarded toxic behaviour and given them a license to be worse (look at them already, going in the bucktommy tags and gloating).
I told myself after Glee ended and they royally screwed everything up that I wouldn't watch another Ryan Murphy show because he has a history of doing that sort of thing. When 911 came along I was cautious, but it looked like it would be different - more grown up if you will, especially since Ryan Murphy hasn't really been involved since season 1. I should have just gone with my gut. I just hope that, knowing these last two eps were filmed weeks before they aired, the showrunners see how popular they were and realise crap, we've made a BIG mistake. (Everyone should flood instagram and especially Facebook, whoch is more GA than most social media platforms, with RESPECTFUL comments about how devastated they are, and who knows, it might make them consider bringing Tommy back sometime in 8b - I believe they're still writing the back half of the season.)
Side note, I feel really sorry for Lou. Yeah he's going back to SWAT, and I love him in that (even though his character can be a dick sometimes) but he's said in interviews how he's tired of always being cast as "the muscle" due to his size and he seemed genuinely happy to get this role, which was exactly what he was looking for - the sweet, caring, romantic love interest role where he could show some depth, and they screwed him over (sounds like he even thought Buck and Tommy were doing well and wasn't expecting the break up until the end).
(Apologies for the long rant. But what you've been saying really resonated with me and I needed to share your sentiments.)
.
#I have nothing to add#this could have been written by me itâs literally my thoughts#bucktommy#911#tommy kinard
91 notes
¡
View notes
Text
But Two Though?
Summary: In which you're so in love with your boyfriend that you see yourself starting a family with him and you obviously had to sing about it!
Quinn Hughes x Singer!reader
Warning: romantic themes, kissing, pet names, mentions of children, mentions of parenting, and mentions of sex.
A/N: even tho it's a singer reader this imagine also has AFAB!reader(cause of the song lmao) I still use they/them pronouns, no need to worry about that.
Juno is literally so good, and since I gave Nico bed chem, I just HAD to give quinn Juno! Hope you enjoy. And I had this fun idea of embarrassing Quinn when he's with his family on stage last night soooooo
You were estastic when you found out Quinn and his family would be at your concert tonight.
You brushed your hair for what felt like the hundredth time as you calmed your nerves.
Your manager later called you to get on stage, and you rushed there immediately. Your fans cheered as they saw you with your guitar.
"Hi everyone!" You waved to them all.
The crowd roared in excitement as they saw you and sang along to your many songs till the very last one. Little did they know that you had a little surprise.
You finished your last set, and when you didn't go off the stage like you normally would have, your fans grew in confusion but nonetheless enjoyed it.
"You didn't think the show was over, did you?" You chuckled teasingly. "I just have a little special song."
Your fans gasped as the Hughes looked at Quinn for an answer that never came.
"I wrote this song but I'm like never gonna release it." You chuckled. "Might give it to sabs- Sabrina or something. She'll certainly know what to do with it."
Your fans cheered at the slip-up not nonetheless you continued.
"I can't say much about this song, but... it is different from my other songs, different from older and five seconds flat." You explained. You and Quinn were quite private about your relationship, so you didn't want to go overboard on the speech. "I don't know how to describe it, but it made me feel things I didn't even know I would ever feel. This song is called Juno, like the movie Enjoy."
Your fans cheered to your speech as you strung notes on your guitar.
"Don't have to tell your hot ass a thing, oh yeah you just get it." You sang. "Whole package babe, I like the way you fit god bless your dad genetics."
Your mind flashes to you and Quinn in bed, cuddling next to each other in the night. The love you two shared never fading only growing stronger after that night.
"Will this change something between us?" You asked, looking up at him.
"What? No, never. We're still us, you know that." He reassured you.
"Still us." You confirmed in his hold.
Quinn looked at you in confusion. He knew your songwriting, it was a shock that this song was more upbeat and not lyrical there was a hint of fun behind it.
"I know you want my touch for life. If you love me right, then who knows," You hummed. "I might let you make me Juno."
He knew this song was about him, but how? Unless... Oh... oh
You saw Quinn as he interacted with J.T.'s kids and how easy it was to do so. It made your heart swell.
Natalie came up behind you. "You want one, don't you?"
You put a hand on your heart, currently not expecting it. "What?"
"A kid," She clarifies.
Your face flushed as you realized you have been caught. "I mean sure one day but it's too early."
"Well it doesn't help to try now, talk to him." She encouraged.
"Believe me, we've been trying." You chuckled dryly, Natalie on the other hand laughed loud.
"What's so funny?" Quinn was in front of you two now, holding one of the kids at his hip and you couldn't help but wonder... what if that was your kid?
"Oh nothing, Y/N just telling me what an amazing cook you are." Natalie winks at you as she takes her leave with her kid in tow.
Quinn eyed her suspiciously. "Okay... what were you two really talking about?"
"Exactly what she said, how you're a great cook, an amazing one." You lied through your teeth.
Quinn knew you were lying, if anything you was a much better cook than he was but he decided to let it slide and hugged you from behind the rest of the time.
You continued on with the song, getting out of your comfort zone more and more with each line. "Adore me, hold me and explore me, mark your territory tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one."
Luke hums. "This song is definitely was not what I expected."
Jack exclaims. "I'm sorry, did they just say what I think they just said? They just said they're horny on stage."
"You don't have to repeat it." Quinn mutters, his face getting flushed as the song came to a close.
Ellen looked at her son lovingly. "Been together five years and you still get shy when you hear a song they wrote about you."
"Let's not tease him too much he still has yet to ask the question." Jim joked.
"Dad," Quinn groaned.
"You can borrow my ring sweetie, the replica that is." Ellen offers.
"No mom it's not that..." Quinn trailed off.
Jack being the first one to realize, gasped aloud, and shook Luke back and forth. "You already have a ring!"
"I'm going to wait for them backstage." Quinn began to walk away.
"At this rate, we're gonna have to propose for him." Luke mutters, Ellen hit him on the head as a response as they followed Quinn.
When the rest of the family got there, you was already in Quinn's arms looking at him lovingly. They decided to go into their own conversations, letting you two talk alone.
"Did you like the song at the end?" Your voice began timid, the more you grew vulnerable.
Quinn hums. "Yeah, it was nice. Didn't know you wanted a kid with me."
"Yeah, I've been meaning to tell you about that." You look away from his gaze but he quickly gets it back.
"I want to have kids with you too Y/N. If I wanted anyone to make me a father it would be you." Quinn admits.
"You really that?" You said hopefully.
"Of course I do, but I would want to do something first before we get started." He says.
You grow confused. "And what would that be honey?"
"I would like to marry you." Quinn says without hesitation.
Your eyes widened in size as you took in his words. "You want to marry me?"
"I don't have the ring with me right now and I love you too much to say just one speech but I do know that I see myself spending the rest of my life with you, if you'll have me." Quinn looks at you hopefully.
"I'll always want you Quinn, I would be glad to marry you." You caressed his cheek, his eyes closing at your touch.
"I love you guys but please do not make me an uncle tonight." Jack says.
You both glared at Jack who quickly back off, he mutters a sorry and says he'll meet them in the car, Luke joining him.
Once they're gone, Quinn looks at his parents with a shy smile. "We're getting married."
#nhl#nhl imagine#luke hughes#jack hughes#nhl hockey#nhl players#verycoolusername1#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes#qh43#vancouver canucks#canucks hockey#huggy bear#nhl x reader#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction#quinn hughes blurb
59 notes
¡
View notes
Text
the future of sound in 2020
JF: (singing) I - want to Hear - the Future - of Sound! I Want to he-ear - the Future - of SOUND! people put your hands together, for John Linnell and the future of sound! [audience cheering]
[JL playing random notes on sampler while crowd claps in beat]
JF: PEOPLE, PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER! FOR JOHN LINNELL, AND THE FUTURE OF SOOOUND! [more cheering]
JF: [JL playing the sampler in time with JF's voice] ladies and gentlemen! we're gonna break it down! and give you a preview of two thousand-twenty! when all your children! will be listening to music! that sounds exactly like this! that you really don't like!
let's cut the drums! [audience begins stomping and clapping a beat, JL continues playing the sampler under JF's voice] just break it down - to the people! the future children! and John Linnell! with the future of sound!
JL: [playing sampler in time with singing different notes] eeeeee! eee! eee! eeeooooweeeeeooooh! ohhWeeeeee! eee-awh! eeeoowweeeoohweeeeeeeeooooohh! ee, ee, ee. eeeooooooooo.
JF: in two thousand twenty! you'll be in your space car with your friends! sayin', "my kids turn me on to a lot of music, man! I love this future of sound!" John give another taste! of the music they'll pretend they like, twenty years from now!!!
JL: [playing sampler] eeeeeee! Eeeee! Iiih! Iiih! (voice crack) EEE! EeeooooohEeeeeee!
JF: this- this next part's my favourite part of the song - in the future. 'cause it sounds like it's old! in the future...
JL: which is what we're gonna be! [audience laughing]
JF: one! two! three! (singing) in the spaceship, the silver spaceship, the lion waves goodbye.
69 notes
¡
View notes