#your daily dose of cring e

[hg-aneh]

Read a fic in which Crowley's brain (or lack thereof) stopped working whenever he got a nice angelic cuddle... got inspired

[elysiaheaven]

"Pure Insatiablity"-[𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓-𝟏] 𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐍 𝐗 𝐆.𝐍 (Yandere) 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 (𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓)

Words:6078

Genre: Yandere

Summary: It’s been almost eight months now, hasn’t it? Eight months of being wrapped in this obsession, this love that’s taken root so deep inside you. Eight months of loving him—so much it hurts, so much it feels like you're suffocating under the weight of it.

And when you stare at the screen, when you think about that character—the one your fans can’t get enough of—what you really see is him. Your love. Your darling. The one you’d do anything for.

( Reader is a g.n!)

TW: Obsessive behaviour, Lovesick, Blood, Violence, Crazy! Your daily dose of cringe! (He's crazy ><), (Reader is obsessive in love with him) Mentions of disturbing poetic lines?

EXTRA: He's a character from a game named Killer chat! Please play it! It's so good! I think I need to do more research on him, If what I wrote doesn't really scream him! I'm sorry! I'm still learning abt him! I KNOW IT'S BAD I'M SORRYY!!

I think you’re getting a little too in love...

C'mon! Tell me what you want. Do you hate me? Do you love me? Are you going to kill me? I've got a knife right here. Or are you kissing me, darling? How much do you feel?

Oh, you're so pretty when you're rotten and mine. I think you're divine.

Oh, Writer… How’s your relationship with the infamous butcher?

"Bad," you whisper under your breath, eyes glued to the blank page in front of you. The clock ticks, the hours pass, and nothing. Not a single word for days. And it stings, doesn’t it? Because your book—it’s your baby, your obsession—your masterpiece. It was an instant hit, loved, adored, and devoured by everyone who touched it. Fans left comments, raving about how perfect it was. Especially… him.

The e-emo killer. Your devil, wrapped in leather and shadows, blood-stained hands that still look so gentle. They called him cruel, twisted—yet oh, how they love him. Adored him. Fawned over him. The simps flooded your inbox, begging for more of him. That beautiful, wicked boy who haunted their dreams.

And let’s be honest—you love him too, don’t you?

After all, isn’t he just a reflection of someone else? Someone you know all too well?

Didn’t you mold the character from your darling’s essence? That man you can’t stop thinking about, the one who holds your heart in one hand and your throat in the other? The one you’d bleed for, die for—kill for?

Ah… you’re getting a little lovesick, aren’t you?

It’s been almost eight months now, hasn’t it? Eight months of being wrapped in this obsession, this love that’s taken root so deep inside you. Eight months of loving him—so much it hurts, so much it feels like you're suffocating under the weight of it.

And when you stare at the screen, when you think about that character—the one your fans can’t get enough of—what you really see is him. Your love. Your darling. The one you’d do anything for.

Isn’t that the truth? Isn’t that why your heart races, your fingers tremble when you write about the killer’s knife, the way it gleams in the dark? Because you imagine him—your love—doing the same to you, don’t you?

After all, isn't that why you can’t look away, can’t stop thinking, can’t breathe without feeling like you need him more than air?

Ah, calm yourself, love.

Eight months in, and look at you…

You want him. God, you want him so much it hurts. It’s like a sickness, spreading through your veins, consuming every inch of your soul. It’s the kind of need that claws at your heart, gnaws at your bones, turns your very breath into poison if he’s not near.

How did it get this bad? How did it go from quiet glances to full-blown obsession?

It started small, didn’t it? Little things—his voice in your ear, the calls, the games, the way his fingers brushed against your skin. The way he’d laugh, low and dark, as if he knew exactly what he was doing to you. He’s always known, hasn’t he? How to bend you, break you, make you his.

But it’s more than that now. It’s an ache, deep in your chest, that never goes away. You crave him. You crave the way he looks at you like he sees every part of you—every ugly, twisted piece of your soul—and he loves it. You crave the way he owns you, how his presence alone makes you tremble, how just the thought of him drives you mad.

You can’t stop thinking about him. He’s there in every corner of your mind, lingering, waiting, watching. And you want him to watch. You want him to see every broken, desperate part of you. You want to lay yourself bare before him, beg for his touch, for his gaze, for his breath on your skin.

It’s pathetic, isn’t it? But oh, you’d fall to your knees for him. You’d give him everything. You already have.

You think about him late at night, when the world is quiet, and all you can hear is the sound of your own heart pounding, heavy and relentless. You imagine him with you, his hands on your neck, his lips hovering just inches from yours. You’d let him take you apart, piece by piece, until there’s nothing left but his name carved into your bones, his scent burned into your skin.

You want him like fire. Like a storm. You want him with the kind of madness that doesn’t make sense, that drowns you, suffocates you in its wake. Every breath you take without him feels empty, incomplete.

He’s in your blood now, a part of you, and nothing will ever be enough. No touch, no kiss, no word will ever fill that void.

And the worst part? You love it. You love this sickness, this hunger, this desperate, gnawing ache. Because it’s him. Because it’s all for him.

He could ruin you, break you, destroy everything you are, and you’d thank him for it.

Isn’t that what you want? To be his? To be consumed by him, devoured until there’s nothing left of you but the pieces he chooses to keep?

It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? This love, this madness, this obsession. You, the writer, trying to put words to something that can’t be explained. Trying to capture this wild, violent need that swells inside you every time you think of him.

But how can you? How do you describe something so raw, so feral? How do you put into words the way your heart skips a beat every time you hear his name? The way your entire world tilts on its axis when he’s near?

You want him. Need him. More than you’ve ever needed anything in your life.

And you wonder… Does he know? Does he know how deep this goes? Does he understand that you’d do anything—everything—for him?

You think he does. You think he knows exactly how far you’ve fallen. And that’s what makes it so beautiful.

Because you’re not afraid of falling.

You understood him so much! Yet, you still...wanted him..?

The thing about Ronin is that his love is a poison wrapped in sugar, sweet to taste but deadly beneath the surface. He treats the same, as if they’re fragile toys in his hands, waiting to be bent, broken, and reshaped into something more. They’re not people to him—they’re puzzles to solve, games to play, and he plays them masterfully. Not out of cruelty, though. No, Ronin’s twisted mind justifies it as something deeper, something almost… noble.

He believes, with every fiber of his being, that he’s doing what’s best for them. That through the trials, the manipulation, the pain, they’ll emerge better—stronger. In his distorted way of thinking, he’s saving them, guiding them through the fire so they can burn away their weaknesses and be reborn into something new, something better. It’s not just a game to him—it’s a transformation. A test of endurance, of strength, of who they really are underneath it all.

This is how he shows his love. Not with tenderness, but with torment. He pulls at the strings of their souls, slowly unraveling them, watching them fall apart, believing—hoping—that by the time he’s done, they’ll thank him for it. That they’ll see what he sees: a person made whole again, remade into something that can survive in his world.

he’s doing the same with you, thinking that they’ll understand in the end, that this suffering is love in its purest form. To Ronin, it's not just affection—it's salvation.

It’s not enough for him to possess them; he has to break them. Only then can he feel secure in his love, believing they’re exactly who they’re supposed to be. That’s the only way he knows how to love. By tearing them down, by forcing them through the darkness��� he thinks he’s giving them a gift.

A gift wrapped in shadows.

It’s been six days.

Six agonizing days without him. No messages, no calls, not even a single “Hey.” He’s not replying. He’s not talking. He’s … online tho. Why? Why is he doing this to you? You want to see him, you need to hear his voice again, but there’s nothing. The silence is eating at you, clawing at your insides, making your mind spiral.

Control it. Control yourself, you keep telling yourself. They don’t need to see it. They don’t need to know how much this is wrecking you. But it’s getting harder to hide. Everyone’s worried. Even they’ve started to notice how quiet you’ve become. How different you are without him.

Except for Ronin. He doesn’t care. He never does. In fact, with that stupid ego of his, he’s been trying to make you jealous these past few days. And you can feel it—every little jab, every smug comment—it’s uncanny how well he knows how to hit your nerves. But no matter how much Ronin gets under your skin, it’s not him you care about.

It’s him.

And it’s not just Ronin. V and Angel have been suggesting things, too. Methods to… fix things. One of them even had the audacity to suggest separating from him. A clean break. “Maybe it’s for the best,” they said, as if they understood. As if they could possibly know how much you need him.

But you hate the idea. You despise it. The thought of being separated from him—it’s like a knife twisting in your gut. You thought he wouldn’t want that either. He wouldn’t, right?

But to your shock—right there, in the middle of the voice chat, without any hesitation, he said it.

“Yeah, I can stay away for six weeks. That’s fine.”

Six weeks. You could barely process it. Your heart stopped. The number felt like it was mocking you, taunting you. Of all numbers, six? It was so… him. The devil’s number, the one he always played with. You almost smiled, almost thought it was cute—almost. But there was nothing cute about this. No, this was pure torture.

How could he say that so casually? Like it didn’t even matter. Like he wasn’t tearing you apart inside.

Because you need him. You really need him. And you thought—no, you were certain—he needed you too.

But here he is, agreeing to stay away. Six long, suffocating weeks without him. How are you supposed to survive that? How are you supposed to breathe, to think, to function without him? He’s your everything, your entire world, and now he’s just… gone?

You hate it. You hate every second of it. Every second without him feels like a lifetime, a slow, agonizing descent into madness. And you can’t help but wonder—what if he doesn’t miss you like you miss him? What if this is easier for him than it is for you?

But no—no. You know he feels the same way. You have to believe that. He’s just playing his part, the devilish role he always slips into so easily. After all, isn’t that what he is? Just a stupid guy who roleplays as the devil. That’s all, right?

But then why does it hurt so much? Why do you feel like you’re unraveling, coming apart at the seams without him?

And without him, you feel like you’re losing a part of yourself.

Six days. Six weeks. Six months. It doesn’t matter. Time feels meaningless when he’s not around, when you can’t feel him, can’t hear him, can’t touch him.

You miss him.

To help you cope, the entire server of serial killers—now your closest group of buddies—created a separate group chat. One without Ronin. It was for your own good, they said. To keep you distracted, keep you sane, while you waited for him.

Angel didn’t want to include Luca or Feli, though. You knew why. They’d just gotten into a relationship, and seeing them happy together might upset you even more. The jealousy would gnaw at you, and Angel, despite her sharp edges, was too considerate to do that to you.

So now it’s just you, Angel, Misaki, and V—the four besties. Well, they’re worried, no doubt about that. You can feel it in every message, every forced joke. Everyone’s trying to keep things light, but the concern bleeds through.

Just like Vince said… it’s destructive and toxic, right? This obsession you have with Ronin. But then again, Feli said it best—it’s not just toxic. It’s all three. Passionate, chill, horrific—a twisted cocktail of emotions that you can’t escape from. It’s suffocating, it’s addictive, and you know it.

But it’s so you, isn’t it?

Angel—the elegant femme fatale.... Some even say she’s a cannibal just for fun, and she plays along. She’s the type that captivates hearts effortlessly, pulls you in with a glance. If you were with her, maybe you could’ve seen the light, stepped away from this madness. Maybe you’d be happier, calmer… safe.

But no. Your heart is too far gone. Your ideals have shifted, haven’t they? Now you’re lost in the darkness, enthralled by your own version of the seven deadly sins.

Misaki, the cute, chaotic mess. The drunken assassin for hire, always too hyper for her own good. She kills with a smile, pays her rent with blood money, and somehow makes it seem so… effortless. But beneath all that bubbly energy, you know she’s just trying to survive, like the rest of you.

Then there’s V. Rigid. Just. Moral, in his own twisted way. The boomerang uncle who believes in his heart that his justice comes through killing. He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t flinch, and somehow, that moral code of his feels strangely comforting. Like if you were ever to lose yourself completely, he’d be there to rein you back in. Or at least try to.

They’re all on the call now—talking, laughing, trying to pull you into the conversation. But you’re not really there. Your heart isn’t. You nod, give half-hearted replies, but all you can think about is him.

You just want Ronin. Already.

Their voices blur together in the background, but your mind keeps drifting back to him. That silence. Six days. Six weeks. Whatever. It’s driving you insane. You need him, need his voice, his presence. No matter what distractions they throw at you, nothing fills that void he left behind.

You sigh deeply, staring at the screen. They don’t understand. They can’t.

Everyone is talking at once, their voices flooding the call, trying to drown out the quiet chaos in your mind. Misaki’s high-pitched laughter cuts through the noise first, followed by V’s calm, grounding voice, and then Angel’s teasing but kind remarks, all woven together in an attempt to cheer you up.

V, always trying to keep things steady, eventually turns the conversation towards your writing. “How’s that new book coming along?” he asks, the one he’d helped inspire, no less. “The story about that ‘good man who kills for justice.’ I thought you had a pretty solid start.”

You blink, snapping back to reality. The new book. Right. The one with the protagonist who’s supposed to be a "good man" who kills for justice, fighting against corruption with a moral code as rigid as V’s. You want to write it, you really do. But every time you sit down to start... your thoughts drift. To him.

But you can’t help it—your mind wanders back to Ronin. The story might be about someone else, a character of pure moral code, someone who kills for justice like V had imagined. But all you see, all you feel as you try to write, is him. Ronin, with his smirk, his chaotic energy, how he gets under your skin and stays there. He’s nothing like the character in your new book, and yet, he’s the only thing you can think about.

He’s your muse, your obsession—your devil incarnate. And you almost laugh at the thought. Isn’t that just who Ronin is? A creator of chaos, a devil in your head, inspiring you even when he doesn’t mean to. A part of you is frustrated—he doesn’t even fit this new story, but somehow, he’s taken over anyway.

But you sigh, leaning back in your chair. "I... I just don’t feel inspired right now." You don’t want to admit it, but everything you want to write seems to tie back to Ronin, no matter how hard you try to focus on something else. He’s in everything you do, like an ever-present shadow.

Angel’s voice cuts through. "Of course, you’re not inspired. You’re too clingy right now, and it’s all because of him. You’ve gotta let it go for a bit; otherwise, it’ll just boost Ronin’s ego, and you know he lives for that."

You can’t help but chuckle weakly at that. She’s right—Ronin would love knowing he’s got you wrapped around his little finger, knowing you’re craving his attention this much. But you don’t care. You want to be wrapped up in him, and the thought doesn’t bother you one bit. Still, you don’t say that out loud. You don’t want to admit to everyone how deep your feelings run for him.

Instead, you steer the conversation somewhere else, tossing around random comments and joking with them. Misaki pipes up, practically bouncing in her seat as she talks about her latest commission. “So, get this—I nailed the shot perfectly. One kill, clean. And with that, rent’s paid for this month!” She laughs, but you can hear the relief in her voice.

You can’t help but tease her. “Next month’s going to come around quicker than you think, though,” you say, raising an eyebrow.

She whines dramatically, clutching her head. “Noooo! Don’t remind me! I’ll need another commission soon or I’m doomed!” Her pout is cute, and you laugh despite yourself. Misaki’s a mess, but she’s your mess (friend!).

Angel snorts. “I feel that. Work’s been tight, but I’m okay for now. Barely.”

Then there’s V,. “I’ve been busy taking care of my birds lately. They’re a handful,” he says, the warmth in his voice clear. He pauses for a moment before adding, “Still... I respect you. Always have. You’ve got this pure heart. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Ronin mess that up for you. Him trying to make you feel like this—it pisses me off.”

You smile at that, appreciating his words. But deep down, you can’t help but think, Pure? Is that really what you are anymore? After everything with Ronin, after letting yourself fall so deep into this twisted, all-consuming love, are you still that pure-hearted person V thinks you are?

Because honestly... haven’t you already started slipping? Saving parts of yourself just for Ronin?

Angel’s voice breaks through the light banter, her usual teasing tone softened with concern. “I’m worried about you,” she says, her words pointed, cutting through the surface-level chat. “This thing with Ronin… it’s not good for you.”

You don’t respond, just sit there silently, staring at the screen, your mind lost somewhere far from the conversation. V, ever the protective one, comes to your defense as usual. “Come on, Angel. They wouldn’t hurt a fly,” he says with a sigh, glancing at you. “Right?”

You don’t say anything, and V’s expression darkens just slightly. The silence weighs heavier than your words could. “Look,” V adds, more serious now. “If you ever killed anyone for Ronin, if you ever did it for some guilty pleasure, it’d be your first and last. Because I would kill you myself.” His voice is firm but caring, like a friend! trying to protect you from something you might not even see coming.

You snap out of your daze for a moment, glancing at V. “I just won’t let you,” you reply quietly, a ghost of a smile playing on your lips. There’s a defiance in your voice, but it’s laced with that lovesick longing. You’d do anything for Ronin. And V knows it.

Misaki, sensing the tension, tries to shift the conversation. “So! Uh, anyway, I’ve been thinking about getting a new place, but the rent’s—”

You cut her off, your mind too focused, too fixated on one thing. “What’s Ronin doing?”

Angel sighs heavily, her frustration barely hidden now. “He’s fine.”

But it’s V who answers. “He’s fine without you,” he says bluntly, though there’s a softness in his tone like he’s trying to prepare you for a blow. You flinch inwardly, but you manage to keep your face blank, pretending it doesn’t cut as deep as it does.

You sit there, frozen, but V doesn’t stop. “He’s… happy. I think he’s gone off to kill someone again.” His voice is cold, almost detached, like he’s telling you a fact that doesn’t matter. “Maybe you’re the only one who’s serious and clingy in this relationship.”

The words hit like a punch to the gut, and you can feel your heart breaking, shattering into tiny, irreparable pieces. But you force a smile, the kind that barely reaches your eyes. “It’s fine,” you say, your voice trembling just a little. “It’s perfect. He’s perfect the way he is.”

But your eyes betray you. They’re wide, filled with that twisted, lovesick devotion, like you’re drowning in your feelings and don’t even care. In your head, all you can think about is sinking deeper into Ronin’s world, letting him consume you completely, until there’s nothing left of who you used to be. You want it. You want him. You want to lose yourself in him, no matter how much it destroys you.

You sit there after the call, the silence enveloping you, but your thoughts still swirling around Ronin like a storm you can't escape. You sigh, running a hand through your hair as you open your laptop, telling yourself you’ll work on your book, like they told you. But your fingers hover over the keys, your mind already somewhere else.

“I just feel… fuzzy about him,” you had told Angel earlier, trying to explain this maddening, obsessive feeling in the pit of your stomach. But she’d only laughed, though not unkindly.

“Even I wasn’t this bad,” she’d said, smirking like she was trying to make light of it. “Maybe your love is just too strong.” Her attempt to cheer you up had actually worked, even if just a little. You had smiled, a tiny flicker of warmth in your chest.

“Cheer up,” she’d added. “And get back to your story."

“Yeah,” you had murmured, not really listening, already thinking about Ronin. Already missing him.

Now, sitting alone with your laptop open, you try to follow her advice. You start typing, the title of your story staring back at you, but… it’s not the story you’re supposed to be writing, is it?

You start typing, but the words don’t match the character V had wanted—the noble killer with a rigid moral code. No, the character that comes alive under your fingers is someone else entirely.

He’s dark, dangerous, with a wicked grin that sends shivers down your spine. His eyes are sharp, burning with mischief, and his laugh… God, his laugh. It’s him. It’s Ronin. You can’t stop yourself from writing him into the story, from turning him into the devilish figure you can’t tear your eyes away from.

And you? You slip into the story, too. Not as a secondary character. Not as an observer. No. You’re his love interest. The one who falls into his arms, who sinks into his darkness willingly. You let him consume you, wrap you up in his world of danger and chaos because you crave it. You crave him.

You don’t even realize what you’re doing at first. The words just flow out of you, like a love letter disguised as a story. A love note for Ronin. Each sentence is a confession, each scene a reflection of how deeply he’s burrowed into your mind, into your heart. It’s raw, it’s messy, it’s everything you feel but can’t say out loud.

You type and type, not caring that you’ve completely derailed from the plot you were supposed to follow. The good man who kills for justice? He doesn’t exist in your world right now. There’s only Ronin. The devil. The one who owns every corner of your heart, no matter how much he tries to push you away.

Hours pass, and by the time you stop typing, you realize you’ve written pages—an entire chapter, maybe more. But it’s not the story you were meant to write. It’s yours. It’s your obsession, your madness, poured out into words.

You sit back and stare at the screen, feeling both exhilarated and exhausted. You know you should be working on your real book, but part of you can’t help but smile at what you’ve created. It’s a mess, but it’s yours.

Angel sighed, pushing her hair back as she leaned over her phone, eyes narrowing. "V, why didn’t you tell them about how Ronin’s been acting? He’s not even talking to me, and you're just… brushing it off?"

V, sitting , didn’t answer right away. Instead, he smiled—actually smiled—something he rarely did, the corner of his lips curling in amusement. "I wanted to see how they were," he said with a shrug, his voice calm. "And you know what? They’re fine. I’ve been keeping an eye."

Angel didn’t seem convinced. She crossed her arms, a frown pulling at her features. "I’m worried, V. I mean… did you see them? They seemed slightly crazy—like, lovesick, obsessed. I’m telling you, I'm worried about them, I don't know...Suddenly I don't want to become whatever the hell we are."

V’s smile faded slightly, but his expression remained soft. "They’re not that type, Angel. You know them. Yeah, they’re obsessed with Ronin, but they haven’t done anything reckless yet." His tone grew more serious, though. "Ronin hasn’t corrupted them… at least, not completely."

Angel chewed her lip, her fingers fidgeting over her phone before she made a decision. "I’m just gonna text him, just to make sure he’s there," she muttered, quickly typing out a message to Ronin.

Moments passed before her phone buzzed, and Ronin’s reply popped up: Devil’s here!

She sighed in mild relief, rolling her eyes at his theatrics. "Of course… that’s typical Ronin."

But before she could relax, V picked up , sending a message to Ronin with a more pointed tone. "I’m not as patient as Angel," he said as he typed. "If you don’t start talking, there’s going to be consequences." He hit send, leaning back, expecting some sarcastic response.

A few seconds later, his phone buzzed with the exact same reply: Devil’s here!

V blinked, his brow furrowing as he stared at the screen. Angel glanced over, her own phone vibrating with a second, identical message from Ronin. "Wait…" she muttered, frowning. "Isn’t that…?"

Misaki, who’d been quietly sipping a drink, glanced at her phone too and snickered. "Guys, that’s his automated reply prank! He’s done this before!"

For a brief moment, the group shared a collective groan and laughed it off, realizing they’d all fallen for one of Ronin’s infamous tricks. He had a habit of setting up automated responses, just to mess with them.

But then the laughter died down as the realization settled in.

Angel glanced at her phone again. "Wait… if it’s just an auto-reply…" Her voice trailed off as her stomach dropped.

Misaki, the first to speak, sounded nervous now. "Uh, so, where’s Ronin?"

V realized. "Well, I guess he's just as clingy as them. God, I'm gonna kill him."

Your thoughts too clouded by the constant, gnawing ache inside you. You can’t shake it, can’t stop thinking about him. Ronin. The only thing that occupies your mind as you walk out the door, moving through the streets like you're in a trance.

It doesn’t take long before you find yourself wandering Uptown, your steps naturally pulling you toward that one alley—the one they call Purgatory. It’s notorious, the kind of place everyone avoids, where even whispers of its name send shivers down spines. The Butcher’s territory. People have seen the aftermath here—limbs and pieces of flesh strewn like discarded trash, blood painting the graffiti-splattered walls. It’s grotesque, macabre.

But to you? It’s something else entirely.

You call it your love birth!

It’s twisted, isn’t it? You can’t help the smile creeping up on your face as you step into the dark, narrow space. This is where it all began. Where you had your first kiss with Ronin, right here in the heart of chaos. The same place where bodies had been ripped apart, left to rot. That’s where you became his fallen angel.

The memory washes over you like a wave—his hands on your face, his lips crushing against yours with that devilish intensity. You still remember the taste of copper in the air, the blood that stained his hands… and the way it didn’t matter. Not in the slightest. That was the moment you knew—there was no going back. You were his, no matter what.

Your heart races as you walk deeper into the alley, your eyes scanning the area with that lovesick expression. Every corner, every shadow, you search with a strange kind of yearning. Maybe he left something behind. Maybe some small trace of him remains, something he forgot—something you can cling to.

You know it’s irrational, but your mind can’t help it. You want him. You need him. Every thought, every breath, is consumed by him. You’ve become addicted to the way he makes you feel—alive, wild, free. And now, without him, you feel like you’re floating, untethered, falling further and further into the abyss.

You walk slowly, your fingers brushing against the walls as you pass by, half-hoping you’ll stumble across something—anything that could be a sign from him. A discarded cigarette, a drop of blood, some trace of his presence that would prove he’s been here.

But the alley is silent. Empty.

Still, you don’t stop. Your heart beats faster the further you go, your mind racing with the memory of him. His voice. His laugh. The way he pulls you into his world, his darkness, and makes it feel like home.

By the time you reach the far end of the alley, your eyes have glazed over, filled with that lovesick haze that you can’t shake. You’re lost in it, drowning in the feeling. You want to see him, to feel him again, to fall deeper into that sinful connection.

You pause, standing still for a moment, the weight of the emptiness settling in around you.

He’s not here.

But God, you wish he was.

You freeze when you hear it—a faint, metallic scraping sound echoing through the alley. The unmistakable drag of a crowbar. Your heart skips a beat, and a rush of adrenaline floods your veins.

It’s him.

Ronin.

The sound makes your pulse quicken, your body tensing in anticipation as you spin around, trying to catch a glimpse of him. You begin to move, searching the shadows, desperately scanning every dark corner of the alley for any sign of him. Your heart pounds as your breath catches in your throat. He’s here. He has to be.

But then, the sound stops. Dead silence.

Before you can react, a sudden force slams into you, pushing you hard against the cold, graffiti-stained wall. Your breath is knocked out of you for a moment, and you barely register what’s happening before a strong arm wraps around your waist, lifting you slightly off the ground. You gasp, your heart racing, your body pinned between the rough brick and the figure in front of you.

And then… his lips crash into yours.

Ronin.

You melt instantly into the kiss, your body responding before your mind can even catch up. The intensity of it, the hunger—it’s like he’s claiming you all over again, pulling you back into his orbit. You can feel his fingers digging into your hips as he holds you up, his body pressing hard against yours.

When he finally pulls away, his breath hot against your skin, his voice is low, teasing. “Seems like you were pathetically sniffing around for clues, weren’t you? Like a lost little puppy darling?… so desperate to know if I was here.”

Your eyes flutter open, your head still spinning, trying to gather your thoughts, but they slip away in the haze of his presence. You can’t think straight, not when he’s this close, not when his scent fills your lungs, and his lips are still so dangerously close to yours.

You try to speak, to explain, to say something, but your voice catches in your throat. The words never come. He smirks, seeing your struggle, and presses a finger to your lips, silencing you before you can even attempt to respond.

“Shh,” he whispers, his tone dripping with amusement. “No need to talk, Darling. I know exactly what you want.”

Your body trembles, love-sick and overwhelmed. It’s like your whole world is centered around him, every fiber of your being drawn to him in a way you can’t control. You’re drowning in him, in this moment, and you can’t help but feel exactly what he’s accusing you of.

Desperate.

You don’t care about anything else. You just want him.

Your fingers clutch at his jacket, and your body leans closer, your lips parting as if to say his name, but no sound escapes. You don’t need to speak—he can already see the longing in your eyes, the way you’re losing yourself in him.

“Haha...” he murmurs, his breath tickling your ear as his lips hover near your neck. “So love-sick…I did it all Didn't I?"

Ronin sighed, leaning his head back slightly, his eyes narrowing in amusement. "That fucking V," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as a low laugh escaped his throat.

You blinked, still trying to catch up with the intensity of the moment. "What… what did V lie about?" you asked, your voice soft and shaky, still lost in the feeling of him so close, his presence overwhelming.

Ronin’s laughter deepened, the sound dark and teasing as he looked back down at you, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "He told me you were completely normal," he said, the grin spreading across his face. "That you didn’t even miss me." His fingers grazed your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine.

Your heart skipped a beat, a wave of exhilaration surging through you. "He told you that?!" you gasped, eyes wide. "He said the same thing to me! That you were fine without me, that you didn’t care!"

Ronin’s smirk grew more sinister, his eyes narrowing as he spoke. "So much for his precious 'justice.' Lying straight to both our faces," he said, his tone laced with mockery. "Maybe V thinks it’s all for the 'greater good.'" He rolled his eyes, clearly unamused by the thought.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. "Maybe," you teased with a grin, "he thought he was saving us or something." But before you could continue, Ronin’s hand shot up, gently pressing over your mouth.

His voice dropped lower, the playfulness fading from his eyes as he leaned in closer. "Stop talking about another guy when you’re with me."

You froze, instantly obeying, your hand instinctively covering your mouth, the playful teasing evaporating as you felt his gaze burning into you. The possessiveness in his voice sent a thrilling, electric charge through your entire body.

He chuckled at your reaction, clearly satisfied by the way you instantly silenced yourself for him. His other hand gripped your waist, pinning you harder against the wall as his eyes trailed over you, dark and hungry. "Now," he said, his tone softening into a more sinister purr, "how much did you miss me?"

Your breath hitched, your heart racing. "A lot," you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. "I missed you so much… I couldn’t focus, couldn’t think. It even messed with my writing… I just kept thinking about you, obsessing over you—"

His grip tightened, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Obsessing, huh? Sounds like you’ve been going full yandere on me." He chuckled, his fingers brushing through your hair as he leaned in closer, his lips barely an inch from yours. "Say it," he commanded, his voice dropping into that dangerous, addictive tone. "Say that you love me."

Your heart pounded as you looked into his eyes, the intensity of his gaze swallowing you whole. "I love you," you whispered, breathless, the words slipping out like a confession. "I love you… I love you…"

He raised an eyebrow, his smirk growing as you kept repeating it like a broken record, your voice desperate, lovesick. I love you, I love you, I love you.

Ronin let out a low, mocking laugh. "Pathetic," he teased, his voice dripping with amusement. "To think that I like this." He watched you, entertained, as you kept whispering the words over and over, your voice trembling with devotion.

He leaned in, his lips grazing your ear as he spoke. "Keep your attention on me… forever. Don’t even think about anyone else. It’s me you belong to. Got it? Darling?

Your heart felt like it might burst as you nodded, utterly consumed by the intensity of his words.

Ronin chuckled darkly, his lips finally crashing against yours once again, sealing you completely in his world. There was no escape. There never would be.

[creepy--claws]

[● I see a lot of people misunderstand what it means to be emo and I think I have a good enough understanding of it to properly summarize it as someone who sort of lives that emo lifestyle and always has since they were a young boy. Emo isn't just dying your hair and dressing alternatively. It's a lifestyle. Yes I'm aware how cringe that sounds.

Emo is a lifestyle for the broken, the beaten, and the damned to reside in and find comfort in. They thrive in the darkness and reject the light. It's not a constant spew of "I slit my wrists and wanna kms" no no no, it's more just being more angsty and edgy than the typical e-girl or whatever. Emos are unapologetic and typically more closed off or more snappy than most people. They're dark in nature and probably grew up on the internet most of the time. They probably ended up on a goresite accidentally when they were young. Of course that doesn't apply to all emos and it doesn't apply to specifically emos, but it's a common occurrence with emos.

Fuck it, literally if you want to see characters that properly represent emo culture, look to like the edgiest warrior cats characters you'll find on Tumblr like Scourge or Ashfur, or even fucking Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

Another thing is not all slightly sad music is emo music. Same goes for alternative music. 2000s rock is what is considered emo music.

Scene is sort of like- a subgenre of emo that's stricter on the guidelines or whatever

Like you gotta dress a certain way and there's lots of factors to take into account. It's very media-related and focuses on being bright and cheery and colorful. I don't think scene=emo immediately because there's a fine line, but they're both within the same alt category.

I stopped making sense a long time ago. Preach anime hair warrior cats amvs with Linkin Park songs and don't forget to drink your daily dose of blood.]

[mightbewriting]

So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here. 

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you! 

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today. 

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

[shintaibee-blog]

Dornier Collaborates With NUH To Initiate New Clinical Study

Hormone therapy lowers the male hormone levels that are responsible for the growth of prostate cancer. Among the treatment group, 17 babies developed lung conditions that reportedly caused high blood pressure in the lungs and may have been the result of reduced oxygen levels. When the heart muscle receives insufficient oxygen it produces lactic and pyruvic acids and these produces the tightness in the chest known as angina the type of angina which occurs during exercise is termed Angina Pectoris. On a treadmill exercise test these patients may develop changes on their cardiograph, which are diagnostic of myocardial ischaemia. It is this irregularity which may lead the heart to chaotic beats and finally fibrillation and death. As well as increasing the heart rate adrenaline may cause cardiac irregularity, increased blood pressure, or palpitations. But there are many natural ways to improve your overall heart condition. Research shows when taken for 3 months, a combination of natural products (rye pollen extract, saw palmetto, B-sitosterol, and vitamin E) compared to placebo can significantly lessen nocturia and frequency and diminish overall symptomatology of prostate enlargement. This chakra also vibrates with the frequency of the note “D”. In research studies, only up to 4 percent of people stopped taking ramipril because of side effects. There are many effects that bring about health issues for people who are alcoholic. Embrace your sexuality and take pride in who you are and in what you do. The asparagus nutrition qualities are comparable with any first dish. First Trust Ltd Partnership has 281,754 shares. Eli Lilly and Company. In January, 2017, the Eli Lilly Company was awarded as world’s most ethical company. In doing the cleanse, you’re detoxing all of your major organs including the lungs putting your overall health into a better state. Increases the blood sugar by increasing breakdown of glycogen to glucose, important food for the muscles to contract better. Surgery. Colon, prostate, bladder, and rectum surgery may damage erectile nerves and blood vessels. The damage was similar to that seen in animal models of hereditary retinal disease such as retinitis pigmentosa or cone-rod dystrophy. Did you know that we also offer Custom Research? Now, off label prescribing does happen all the time but since the same ingredient is available on the market, canada drugs online there is really no reason medically to prescribe Revatio for anything other than pulmonary hypertension. Seeing as how the same active ingredient IS available for erectile dysfunction (as Viagra), it doesn't really make sense for the doctor to take a chance to prescribe Revatio off label. The Food and Drug Administration warned an e-cigarette manufacturer Thursday to stop putting the key ingredients of an erectile dysfunction drug and an anti-obesity drug into vaping liquid. Hence eating even further greens, end result and fibrous food items are what the medical professionals talk to oneself in the direction of comprise alternatively of pink meat, oily food items and in excess of-salty meals. This again depends on the severity of the medical condition. Affecting both men and women, the pain varies in severity and duration, and can be triggered while performing activities as simple as sitting for a long time, urinating or having a bowel movement. Chronic PainKidney Pain vs. The Effects of DHEA on Men What Are Side Effects of Lisinopril on Men? DHEA doses of 50 to 100mg once daily improves bone mineral density in men with pre-existing osteoporosis or osteopenia, but not in otherwise healthy men over 60 years of age. Men diagnosed with erectile dysfunction often require changes in other minerals and vitamins or even prescription medication. The promo aimed at blokes suffering from erectile dysfunction claimed the former England striker used it to help with his performance in bed. Not to mention, one can’t help but cringe (or chuckle) at the surprise some users hoping to lose weight might have had if they actually took an inadvertent puff of sildenafil. It is carefully produced by taking the crystals of barium carbonate that have already been chemically prepared. Barium was discovered and proved within homeopathy centuries ago and is utilized by the homeopathic remedy baryta carb. Shark Cartilage - This became well-liked back again in the early 90s when somebody stated that it could be a remedy for most cancers. That stage is andropause.Andropause: Is it Male Menopause? Or if not, write, sing a song, or draw what you’re feeling. Symptoms such as sweating, nausea, vomiting, palpitations, faintness or a feeling of wanting to faint (presyncope), or even syncope are common. Cushing’s syndrome has neurological symptoms as well, which include having difficulties with memory and neuromuscular disorders. Careful planning and strict adherence to dose constraints to organs at risk are essential. Today there are many different kinds of ailments and health problems. Are you taking your vitamins? If you have trouble dieting, then give it a try. Trintrins have no effect. HelloCig Electronic Technology sells an e-liquid containing tadalafil, the active ingredient in Cialis, and sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra. It also said that HelloCig was illegally marketing some products as FDA-approved when they weren’t. DO NOT hit link & DO NOT give them credit card details,' she tweeted at the time. I’m shifting towards start off off by way of inquiring yourself all a wonder Palms up if on your own’ve at any time favored diet program soda for the reason that it’s the “wholesome” possibility.

[ashleyjacksonblog]

3 Differences Between True Love And Lust That’ll Tell You A Lot About Your Relationship

“And the sex was 100” is a phrase that I recently texted someone from my past. (Cringe city.) We were mid-conversation, and hadn’t caught up in eons. I had planned on eventually emailing him about the grad program he graduated from, which I am applying to. When his Instagram handle popped up as having “liked” my photo, I was tipsy and certain that 10 p.m. was a brilliant time for essay advice. (Oops.) The one great thing about those five words? Typing them out reminded me while I liked him, it soooo wasn’t true love. I had just been lusty AF.

My mind has a terrible time telling the difference between love and lust. If I had to define “lust” on my own, sans Google, I would say it’s that rush of physical and intellectual chemistry you have with someone who makes both the drinks part and the bedroom part of a date exhilarating. It’s definitely what I imagine crack feels like. “Lust” is more than just great sex, but less than “I will eventually pee with the door open when you are home.” (Which, while unromantic, I would say falls into the “love” category.)

Considering that I sent the aforementioned uncouth text just this past weekend, and that I have just admitted to you all that I confuse love and lust quite regularly, I decided to do some research in order to discover what the actual differences between the two L-words are. Here’s what I found:

1. Lust Is Driven By Different Hormones Than Attachment

How You Know When You're In Love.

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Let’s start with science: A team at Rutgers University led by Dr. Helen E. Fisher published an article about romantic love that breaks it down into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment. “Lust” is driven entirely by testosterone and estrogen in the brain, “attraction” is driven by dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, and “attachment” is created by oxytocin and vasopressin. Whew, that’s a mouthful.

You can think of it like this: Lust really is about the sex being 100. Estrogen and testosterone, the hormones that drive lust, are involved with reproduction and evolution, plain and simple. Think: a one-night stand.

While lust and attraction are closely related, you can actually have one without the other. Attraction has to do with “reward behavior.” Dopamine is released in our brains when something feels good to us, whether that’s sex, drugs, gambling, or donuts.  Think: the giddiness of the first few months of dating someone you really like.

Attachment, which is a prerequisite for true love IMO, is in fact not only present in romantic relationships. Attachment has to do with oxytocin, which is released during childbirth and is sometimes called the “cuddle hormone.” Think: your best friend or a family member.

I think we usually lump lust and attraction together, and consider the addition of attachment the piece that solidifies a true, loving relationship. Science says all three of these pieces together make up true, romantic love, so if you’ve only got the sex happening, you might just be in lust.

2. Lust Happens Quickly, While Love Happens Slowly

What Your Favorite Cuddle Position Says About Your Relationship

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This tidbit is less scientific, and more easily digestible. Dating and relationship coach Monica Parikh of the School of Love NYC told Elite Daily: “Infatuation begs for an instant relationship. Love understands that true intimacy is developed over a long time and through many seasons of life.” Pretty much a much more nicely-stated version of what I was saying about eventually peeing with the door open.

Lust is immediate, as is attraction. There’s a palpable chemistry that leaves you feeling quite frenetic and sometimes even obsessed with seeing your person as often as possible. True love only happens when you’ve spent a lot of time together and gone through the ups and downs of life that you’ll inevitably continue facing together if you keep dating. You know that friend who moved in with her boyfriend after a month? Are they still together and in love? Yeah, didn’t think so. Takeaway: Time is money when it comes to love, too.

3. Lust Is Physical; Love Is Emotional

Why You Can Never Be Just Friends With Benefits

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OK, so this seems pretty obvious. According to Dr. Judith Orloff in an article for Psychology Today, if you want to get black-and-white about the difference between lust and love, there are some actual behavioral signs you can look for. She states that the signs of lust are: being focused on a person’s looks, being interested in sex but not conversations, not wanting to cuddle the next morning, and being simply lovers and not friends.

Cool, sounds like a hookup. That makes sense, but feelings are tricky, even when you’re just boning. Dr. Orloff says that the signs of love include: wanting to spend time together outside of sex, getting lost in conversations together, wanting to listen to each others’ feelings and make each other happy, and meeting family and friends.

Uh oh. Now I feel like maybe I’ve been in love with everyone I’ve ever dated again. I’ve pretty much always had a healthy dose of emotional chemistry before doing the deed with someone I’m seeing. But before you, too, confuse yourself about whether you are in a lustful or loving relationship, remember that science told us that lust, attraction, and attachment are all part of true, romantic love.

If you don’t lust after your partner’s body, but love spending time with them, they probably are (or should be) your best friend and not your SO. (Hello, friend zone.) On the contrary, if you love your partner’s body, but also enjoy stimulating conversations with them before the sex over drinks, you don’t necessarily need to get married. (I’m speaking from experience here.)

The balance between lust and love is tricky, and I would say that maybe it’s not about defining your relationship as “lusty” or “loving” but identifying what you are looking for in your partner and making sure that both of your needs are met in an equitable way. Don’t settle for lusty sex sans sleepover if all you want is for your boo to cuddle you until the sun comes up, you feel me?

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

3 Differences Between True Love And Lust That’ll Tell You A Lot About Your Relationship

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[chadpetersondatingblog]

3 Differences Between True Love And Lust That’ll Tell You A Lot About Your Relationship

“And the sex was 100” is a phrase that I recently texted someone from my past. (Cringe city.) We were mid-conversation, and hadn’t caught up in eons. I had planned on eventually emailing him about the grad program he graduated from, which I am applying to. When his Instagram handle popped up as having “liked” my photo, I was tipsy and certain that 10 p.m. was a brilliant time for essay advice. (Oops.) The one great thing about those five words? Typing them out reminded me while I liked him, it soooo wasn’t true love. I had just been lusty AF.

My mind has a terrible time telling the difference between love and lust. If I had to define “lust” on my own, sans Google, I would say it’s that rush of physical and intellectual chemistry you have with someone who makes both the drinks part and the bedroom part of a date exhilarating. It’s definitely what I imagine crack feels like. “Lust” is more than just great sex, but less than “I will eventually pee with the door open when you are home.” (Which, while unromantic, I would say falls into the “love” category.)

Considering that I sent the aforementioned uncouth text just this past weekend, and that I have just admitted to you all that I confuse love and lust quite regularly, I decided to do some research in order to discover what the actual differences between the two L-words are. Here’s what I found:

1. Lust Is Driven By Different Hormones Than Attachment

How You Know When You're In Love.

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Let’s start with science: A team at Rutgers University led by Dr. Helen E. Fisher published an article about romantic love that breaks it down into three categories: lust, attraction, and attachment. “Lust” is driven entirely by testosterone and estrogen in the brain, “attraction” is driven by dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, and “attachment” is created by oxytocin and vasopressin. Whew, that’s a mouthful.

You can think of it like this: Lust really is about the sex being 100. Estrogen and testosterone, the hormones that drive lust, are involved with reproduction and evolution, plain and simple. Think: a one-night stand.

While lust and attraction are closely related, you can actually have one without the other. Attraction has to do with “reward behavior.” Dopamine is released in our brains when something feels good to us, whether that’s sex, drugs, gambling, or donuts.  Think: the giddiness of the first few months of dating someone you really like.

Attachment, which is a prerequisite for true love IMO, is in fact not only present in romantic relationships. Attachment has to do with oxytocin, which is released during childbirth and is sometimes called the “cuddle hormone.” Think: your best friend or a family member.

I think we usually lump lust and attraction together, and consider the addition of attachment the piece that solidifies a true, loving relationship. Science says all three of these pieces together make up true, romantic love, so if you’ve only got the sex happening, you might just be in lust.

2. Lust Happens Quickly, While Love Happens Slowly

What Your Favorite Cuddle Position Says About Your Relationship

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This tidbit is less scientific, and more easily digestible. Dating and relationship coach Monica Parikh of the School of Love NYC told Elite Daily: “Infatuation begs for an instant relationship. Love understands that true intimacy is developed over a long time and through many seasons of life.” Pretty much a much more nicely-stated version of what I was saying about eventually peeing with the door open.

Lust is immediate, as is attraction. There’s a palpable chemistry that leaves you feeling quite frenetic and sometimes even obsessed with seeing your person as often as possible. True love only happens when you’ve spent a lot of time together and gone through the ups and downs of life that you’ll inevitably continue facing together if you keep dating. You know that friend who moved in with her boyfriend after a month? Are they still together and in love? Yeah, didn’t think so. Takeaway: Time is money when it comes to love, too.

3. Lust Is Physical; Love Is Emotional

Why You Can Never Be Just Friends With Benefits

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OK, so this seems pretty obvious. According to Dr. Judith Orloff in an article for Psychology Today, if you want to get black-and-white about the difference between lust and love, there are some actual behavioral signs you can look for. She states that the signs of lust are: being focused on a person’s looks, being interested in sex but not conversations, not wanting to cuddle the next morning, and being simply lovers and not friends.

Cool, sounds like a hookup. That makes sense, but feelings are tricky, even when you’re just boning. Dr. Orloff says that the signs of love include: wanting to spend time together outside of sex, getting lost in conversations together, wanting to listen to each others’ feelings and make each other happy, and meeting family and friends.

Uh oh. Now I feel like maybe I’ve been in love with everyone I’ve ever dated again. I’ve pretty much always had a healthy dose of emotional chemistry before doing the deed with someone I’m seeing. But before you, too, confuse yourself about whether you are in a lustful or loving relationship, remember that science told us that lust, attraction, and attachment are all part of true, romantic love.

If you don’t lust after your partner’s body, but love spending time with them, they probably are (or should be) your best friend and not your SO. (Hello, friend zone.) On the contrary, if you love your partner’s body, but also enjoy stimulating conversations with them before the sex over drinks, you don’t necessarily need to get married. (I’m speaking from experience here.)

The balance between lust and love is tricky, and I would say that maybe it’s not about defining your relationship as “lusty” or “loving” but identifying what you are looking for in your partner and making sure that both of your needs are met in an equitable way. Don’t settle for lusty sex sans sleepover if all you want is for your boo to cuddle you until the sun comes up, you feel me?

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

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3 Differences Between True Love And Lust That’ll Tell You A Lot About Your Relationship

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