#your dad will exhaust any and all possible options and ideas to ensure your safety and wellbeing

[fbfh]

Tony stark x daughter!reader where reader got SA'd and is having a hard time telling her dad?

usa/english/rainn hotline 1-800-656-4673 (also european hotlines, 46 countries listed).

first of all anon I want to give you the biggest most sincere virtual hug. absolutely we can talk about what an amazing dad Tony is, especially under these circumstances. (disclaimer that I don't have much if any experience writing about SA/SA trauma, I did some reasearch and as with all topics I don't have much experience in, pls take this with a grain of salt and feel free to send feedback if you'd like <3 /p)

Tony knows something is off with you immediatley. he's had a weird feeling he can't shake, but Pepper keeps dismissing it as more anxiety. When he first sees you after what happened, his stomach drops. He knows something is wrong, he knows his baby isn't okay, and he is going to make things right no matter what happened. You normally have such an easy time talking to him, but now you can't, and he knows it's serious. He doesn't press you for details right away (after asking if you're okay and doing all the usual dad check in stuff), but he knows you need him. He pulls you into a warm, comforting hug and rubs your back. You can hear the thrum of his arc reactor syncing with his heartbeat, and the white noise is so soothing and comforting and he's such a good dad who loves you so much it all makes you cry again.

"What happened?"

He asks so seriously, you know he understands the gravity of the situation. You try to tell him, but you get all choked up again, and you just... can't. He holds you and comforts you, rubbing your back and talking to you until you start to feel better.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It's okay." He says in that dad voice that snaps you out of your spiraling thoughts. "You don't have talk about anything yet if you're not ready. Okay?"

You nod, and he wipes your tears away. His hands smell a little like metal, and you know he's been working on his suits.

"Tell you what. Why don't we get some shwarma delivered from that place a few blocks over, we'll pick out a couple movies - what was that one you said you wanted to show me? The really bad one with the birds?"

You nod, but you don't laugh. He wraps you up in his blue hoodie, and has Jarvis call to order your food. He stays close to you, sending Pepper a message to cancel everything he has to do right now, the penthouse is on lockdown until this is resolved. He stays close to you, making sure you feel safe. He wants more than anything to know what happened, who hurt you, what was said or done to upset you like this. While your food is on the way and the movie is loading, the penthouse is quiet aside from your muffled sobs. Tony holds you, rocks you gently, comforts you. After a while, he pulls back enough to wipe your tears away and look at you. He gives you that dad look, the serious heart to heart one.

"I want to make this, whatever it is, better." He states, and you know he means it. He would move heaven and earth for you without hesitation, and he has in the past, and he'll do it again.

"But you need to tell me what's going on. I can't fix the problem if I don't know what it is."

Everything about your dad is so comforting, it makes your throat tighten up and your eyes well up with tears again. You try to explain through choked out, shuddering sobs, but you just can't get the words out.

"Okay, okay," Tony comforts you, bringing up one of his holographic screens he uses for work. A translucent glowing holographic keyboard appears in front of you.

"Why don't you try writing it out?" He offers, hoping that will be easier.

By the time you're done writing out what happened, you look over at him. You're almost scared for a moment, a part of your racing anxiety worried that he won't believe you, or he'll blame you, or-

"Thank you for telling me."

he pulls you into an even tighter hug, holding you close, and his voice shakes as he speaks.

"You did the right thing by telling me, okay?" He comforts you and reassures you that it's not your fault, that you're safe, and that he is never, ever going to let that happen again. Through every battle and alien invasion, you've never seen your dad this protective, this pissed on your behalf.

He gets a little more information from you, the location, the time, if you know who it was. He hacks into anything and everything with a camera until he finds the son of a bitch who hurt you. Then he sends out the drones. He has Stark drones, armed to the teeth, follow the bastard's every move, monitoring him while Tony gets everything together. He gets you counciling and resources, he calls you out of work or school or whatever so you have some time home to recover. If you want to file a police report, believe me he will get it filed immediately. If you don't want to, Tony has other ways of getting your attacker off the streets and away from you for good. Maybe he plants classified shield information on him and gets him thrown in a maximum security prison, maybe he pays someone to blast him into another universe. You don't really know the details, and you don't really want to. All you know is that your dad comes into your room after "making a few calls", and informs you that he's never, ever going to bother you again.

He does whatever you need him to do so you feel as safe and empowered as possible. Your suit gets upgraded, security systems get maxed out, and Tony finds a way to hook Jarvis up to keep an eye on your vitals.

"I'll get a ping if your adrenaline or cortisol spike, or if anything else looks iffy." he explains, hooking up the new system. "Even if it's just a stressful day, I'll know what kind of ben and jerry's to bring you."

You thank him again, and he hugs you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"I love you, kid."

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 205

205

Wolf. Human. Exhausted. Horny. Exhausted. Wolf. Exhausted. Human. Horny. Exhausted. For the next two moons, Keith was... very instinctual. Very, very, instinctual. He couldn’t keep his hands off Lance when he was awake, nor when he was asleep... Lance wasn’t sure what they hadn’t fucked on, only that thankfully they were locked away in one of the very many rooms of VOLTRON where no one ever seemed to go. Coran had skipped giving them a bed, instead they’d been gifted the use of what seemed to be some kind of storage room for ex-training equipment. Their “bed” a stack of old gym mats. Keith too horny to care about where Lance would sleep, and Lance kind of too horny to sweat the small details around the sleeping thing seeing he seemed to now have the talent for sleeping anywhere as long as there was a bathroom closish.

In the space of twoish days, they pretty much dissembled the room. Keith had boundless energy in his wolf form. Having him “work it off” during the day meant only one leg humping incident, and that was only very minor as Keith had been ashamed when he’d realised what he was doing. Trying to be proactive, it turned it to “How to train your werewolf fiancé”, with Lance building different obstacle courses for Keith to conquer and amuse himself with. No. He wasn’t above playing fetch with Keith... and Keith wasn’t above being bossed around if it meant head scratches for being a good boy. His fiancé mortally embarrassed to find that he’d walked all the way to Platt simply because he missed his vampire. Coran stepping in and giving them complete privacy for the duration of the moon, meaning no nagging from Shiro over Keith’s safety.

Still, Lance was happy to have Keith back to himself after the moon had passed. His boyfriend much softer and much gentler, taking into account that Lance wasn’t really feeling like having sex seeing how vigorously they’d gone at it during the few hours Keith was awake around lunchtime. Keith stupidly apologetic for his wolffish ways, with snuggles and pampering that Lance sorely needed. Despite ensuring him repeatedly that he’d be okay, Coran decided that they needed and extra few days with Lance resting and on fluids thanks to all the “mating” they’d done. Launching into a long story involving sex with a very persistent vampire queen who was set on wedding him, Lance completely mentally banned the word “mating” from his own vocabulary. He now knew how much of a kinky demon bastard Coran was, and he’d never be able to scrub the graphic descriptions of Coran being pegged from his mind.

Allura had been highly sympathetic towards the pair of them when she’d brought his precious Blue back. Her blue rhinestone collar had been replaced by a pink one with a little bow, obviously she’d been “pampered” by her aunt Allura and hated every moment of it. Cradled in Lance’s arms, she made sure to glare up at him, letting him know he was only allowed cuddles as she didn’t wish to be held by Allura or Keith. Lance felt as if he’d been the worst cat dad to his beloved princess. She not only had to put up with a vampire for a father, she also had to put up with a werewolf as her other father, and she was expected to rule her household with incompetent staff in his absence. Not that Lance would ever admit it, but he missed the days when it’d been him and Blue off on another adventure together. He missed taking her for her walks, and spoiling her rotten as she loved him simply for the fact he was the one who operated her wet food. He’d never tell anyone this, nor would he change how things were now, he just really missed Blue and everything crazy that came with owning a cat. Kosmo was bestest boy, but Blue would be princess forever.

Without a lot to pack, they nearly made it out of VOLTRON and into his bronco before Coran was calling Keith away. Kissing him on the cheek, Keith sent him on ahead, Lance trying to block out the conversation between the two men, not completely sure he wanted to know what was being said, but mostly out of privacy. Thanks to the talk, when Keith climbed behind the driver’s wheel, his fiancé seemed in a bad mood, Lance not pushing as he wasn’t sure he’d like the answer he’d get if he did. Still, they were finally going back home for the next two weeks, where he’d finally get a look at Rieva’s engagement ring, though he wasn’t supposed to know about it as he’d heard Curtis and Shiro being all mushy and no one had actually told him about it directly... or if they had, he’d forgotten it and thinking about that was far too scary a prospect.

*

Fucking fuck fuck. Keith knew that Lance knew that he knew that Lance knew he was angry. Fucking shitty vampires. Not Lance though. Never Lance. No. Fuck Lotor. Fuck Lotor and his big prick of an ego. Keith wasn’t sure what he wanted to hit, only that hitting the open road hadn’t calmed him down.

Okay. He was not the best werewolf. He was not the strongest, the smartest, the scariest, or even the biggest. His instincts had gone into overdrive over not being able to find his mate and he’d walked the whole goddamn way to Platt to find him. Not that he really remembered that night, but still... That was totally beside the point, because fucking Lotor was coming back. He was coming back and he’d oh so graciously volunteered to spar with Keith to hone his new skills before they worked on him shifting into a werewolf.

The wank stain couldn’t come back for Allura, noooooo. That’d be too easy. No. He had to come back right when Lance was nearing the end of his pregnancy and play some damn fictional hero like mentor to his dumb wolf arse. And Coran had picked right when they were finally heading home to drop this piece of news on him. All those times he’d wanted to punch Lotor in the face and restrained himself seemed for nought now he had to be nice to him. Yeah, he was grateful the vampire had “tried” to protect Lance. But there was absolutely no way he wanted another vampire cozening into his mate. Though it would have broken Allura’s heart, Keith would have been happy if Lotor just stayed away in Europe with those ridiculous suits of his.

Lance hadn’t said a thing. Keith didn’t know if he’d heard, or if his fiancé was simply trying to be polite. Knowing Lance, option two seemed the sure bet. He was too old and too fucking exhausted for Lotor’s shit. Then there were Lotor’s witches to think about too... The only useful thing in this situation Lotor could possibly bring with him was anything Honerva had on breeder pregnancies. Yeah, it’d be information probably too late, but if there were to be any complications, he’d rather know before hand so he could figure out how best to support Lance.

Home was a welcome sight. Blue bolting from the bronco the moment Lance had his door open. Matt and Rieva coming out to wait for the pair of them as Keith dragged himself out from behind the steering wheel. How was he supposed to tell Lance he’d have to make pretty much daily trips to Platt starting in three days time? He didn’t want to do that to Lance. He didn’t want to have to deal with sorting through Lenny’s files when he also had to cope with Lotor’s training. Ugh. Adulting sucked. Forced into a hug with the two werewolves, his ego made him growl at the pair. Rieva slapping him upside the back of the head as she scolded him for running off. He’d never be living that one down.

Inside, Hunk, Shay, and Krolia were waiting in the living room. Krolia holding back a very excited Kosmo who’s whole body was wagging

“Kosmo!”

Crouching down, Keith opened his arms, Kosmo bowling him over as he rushed at him, licking his face as Keith tried to push him down

“You’re a menace... yes, who’s a menace? You’re a menace!”

Chuckling at the pair of them, Lance sidestepped them. Keith mood instantly lifted by Kosmo’s pure joy at seeing him

“I’m not going to say a word... but if you’re going to cheat on me, I suppose you can cheat on me with our best boy”

Keith snorted

“As if I’m going to cheat on you... besides, Kosmo is best pupper”

“As far as I’m concerned you both are. Hey, guys. Got room on the sofa for a sleepy vampire?”

Lance had made it one to the sofa and into one of Hunk’s hugs before Keith managed to get Kosmo calmed down. Sitting on the floor, his idiot fur son was sitting between his legs. This was home. He was home...

“You guys didn’t have to come visit us”

Hunk had work and so did Shay, as did his who was clearly giving herself the day off. Kicking lightly vaguely in Keith’s direction, Lance then snuggled himself into Hunk’s side

“Says you. Don’t worry, Hunk, he’ll change his mind when he gets one of your sunshine cuddles”

“I have plenty of cuddles. I bet you’re happy to finally be released”

“Oh, man. You have no idea. I’m still tired as heck, but Coran said as long as I don’t start sleeping without eating, I should be fine to nap as much as I want to”

That wasn’t quite what Coran had said, but Keith didn’t want to be a nagging fiancé

“That’s great, dude. I’ve gotta say, you all had us worried when you ended up there again”

“It’s like a second home by now. Plus I got some quality time with my gremlin, which was nice. Now I’m looking forward to having a bath and sleeping in my own bed...”

Hunk chuckled as Lance closed his eyes

“I’m glad my shoulder makes a good alternative”

“Mmm. You have great shoulders. And great arms for hugging. You’re the best cuddly Hunk in the universe”

“Aw, Bud, you’re not too bad yourself”

“I know. It’s my gift and my curse. Anything new to report while we were gone?”

“Ummm... Shay and I are looking at renting a place of our own”

Lance shot up, beaming as he wrapped his arms around Hunk

“I’m so happy for you guys!”

Keith was happy for them too, supposing he was being a tad anti-social staying on the floor rather than getting up and sitting in one of the recliners. He couldn’t let his Lotor problems bring the mood down

“That’s great, guys. Are you going to house share with Pidge or are you striking out on your own”

Shay giggled, Keith assuming she was happy to talking about it, otherwise her giggle made no sense

“Oh, definitely on our own. It just feels the right time. You guys are having twins. Matt and Rieva are engaged. Work’s been going really well, plus our parents both want to chip on the bond... I don’t think Pidge would like living with a couple...”

Keith noticed the way Lance’s smile wobbled. He’d mentioned that Pidge had been kind of feeling down about her friendship with Hunk drifting. People grew and changed, it sucked but it was a fact of life, and unfortunately for Pidge she was surrounded by couples. Matt came up behind him, ruffling Keith’s hair hard enough that it felt like his brain was being shaken

“Don’t worry about, Pidge. She’s been coming home from work to crash here. She’s never been one for love. All the kisses and the cooties, she’d rather be coding”

Matt only served to make Lance frown, he must have set his ego off

“Pidge is perfectly fine the way she is. I’ve already told her we’ll start looking for somewhere nice sufficiently haunted once the twins have come”

Hunk groaned deeply at Lance

“Man, you’re not still going to go ghost hunting, are you!? This is change to get out of going to creepy buildings in the middle of the night”

“Someone’s got to keep our little Pidgeon safe. You know how over excited she gets”

“But, dude. I’ve got grey hairs... I’m getting grey hairs thinking about going back”

Lance and Hunk would never fight, but Lance had said Pidge was upset. His fiancé would do whatever it took to make her happy again... and Lance did have a point about Pidge needing a babysitter... aaaaand Pidge chasing after ghosts was a hell of lot safer than her pursuing her interests in werewolves and vampires

“I don’t mind. I mean, I’ve already been there before and it wasn’t that bad”

Lance nodded quickly

“See! The gang is totally getting back together, even Keith agrees it’s going to be just like old times again. You split up the band”

“Yeah... but that... I mean, we know it’s real now...”

Matt chimed in with a scoff

“Yeah, really mostly explained by science”

Lance didn’t take too well to Matt’s unwanted addition to the conversation, snippy in his retort as he moved himself to shoot Matt a deathly scowl

“Ghosts are real. I know you werewolves don’t see them like vampires, but they’re there. They’re not something to just go poking out. If Pidge wants to go, I’m going with her”

Matt released Keith’s head, Keith feeling the fellow werewolf’s ego flaring. Matt had no right to be shitty towards Lance wanting to be there for Pidge

“Dude, you can’t let her boss you around forever. There’s a time for moving on”

“She’s not bossing me around. At the moment this is what she’s into. Running around the occasional haunted place was kind of fun. She’s fun. Yeah, death feels absolutely horrible. Shadows on the edge of your vision. Body so cold your breath comes out in puffs of condensation. But it was fun. Watching how into it all is fun, and when she started making connections in her cases I couldn’t have been prouder at the time and effort she’d put in. I want to be there and I want to support her. Yeah, she took her job at VOLTRON because she was already a firm believer in the paranormal, but she also did it so she could understand us better. Forget it, I’m getting cranky and we all know that’s Keith’s job, isn’t it, babe?”

Keith had wisely kept his mouth shut, yet he had been cranky all morning and Lance was owed an explanation

“Lotor’s coming back”

Maybe a better explanation than that. Keith cringing at his own bluntness. The cringe turning into a wince as Matt yelled, hurting his ears

“What?!”

Unhappy about his sore ears, Keith huffed

“You don’t need to fucking yell about it. I’m going to be training with him in Platt starting next week. Coran dropped it on me this morning as we were leaving”

Casting his gaze entirely to Lance, Lance smiled at him, rather looking freaked out like Keith thought he might. Cocking his head, Keith was confused

“Babe?”

“He’s... well, he’s him. But I think it’ll be good for you”

What?! No. Lance was supposed to support him staying at home... or maybe even say he wasn’t ready seeing he’d only been through two moons

“How is this a good thing?”

“You need someone to help you hone your skills now you’re a werewolf. You already hate him, so you’ll also get a lesson in how to rein your ego in for when you go hunting actually bad vampires. Plus, you don’t have to worry about hurting Lotor seeing he’s already dead so you can go all out”

Lance and his damn ridiculous logical approach

“But it’s Loturd...”

Whining only earned him a chuckle from Lance

“I know. I’m going to have call Allura later and scold her for not telling me about it. She’s supposed to be my adopted sister and she kept her mouth shut”

“Maybe she can distract him so I don’t have to put up with him?”

“Or maybe I’ll come along and kick your arse if you’re not training. He’s not my first choice of teacher, but I do think you need someone right now, and until I’ve given birth, I can’t help you train”

“You know I hate it when you’re right”

“But you love me”

He couldn’t argue with Lance’s logic there either

“I do. I don’t really want him and you in the same place”

“Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m might be fat, but I can break through an ego now. He tries anything funny and I’ll neuter him”

“Not if I get there first”

If Lotor so much looked in Lance’s direction, Keith would kill him. Lance was his mate and as painful as it was, vampires probably belonged better together than a werewolf and vampire. Lance might not have any feelings towards Lotor... yet Keith couldn’t keep his jealously at bay. He deserved to be fucking happy, no matter how selfish it was, until he’d worked out how to interact with Lotor, Lance wouldn’t be going anywhere near him.

Shooting him double finger guns, his fiancé was trying to make him happier

“That’s my boy. Now, I don’t know what you’ve all got planned, but I want to take a bath. Growing babies is exhausting. Your amazing shoulder is going to have to wait, Hunk-a-roonie”

“That’s okay, Bud. We only really came to see that you guys got back safely. We’ve actually got a house viewing at 12 o’clock, so we’d better head out. It’s so good to have you guys home”

Lance smiled at Hunk

“It’s good be home. Don’t forget, you’ve got a team of werewolves to help you move. I’m happy to volunteer them”

“Yeah, we’ll keep that in mind. Right, we’ll see you guys later”

Leaving them, Keith dragged himself off the floor and into the space Hunk had vacated. Matt leaving them to join Rieva in the kitchen where she’d been making lunch before they’d come home. Lance not moving for this bath he wanted, instead kissing Keith on the cheek, before snaking his arm around him with a content sigh

“No bath?”

“Not yet. Honestly, I feel really bad, but I keep thinking about Pidge and it’s setting me off”

“Why don’t you invite her over?”

“I’ll send her a message. I used to get jealous over how close she and Hunk were, but we were always the “Garrison Trio”, you know. I know I can’t cling to the past, but it hurts that she feels on the outside”

Nosing into Lance’s hair, Keith nodded

“I know that feeling, but she’s got us and she’s got all our other friends. We’ll make sure she’s okay”

“I know. Babe, I know you’re upset about Lotor. If it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out. Both of you have egos and sometimes you’re just not compatible with someone. No matter what, I’m proud of you”

Hauling Lance up into his lap, Keith hugged his fiancé tightly

“Thanks. I’m kind... pissed off, but this is for the best, right?”

“Yeah, babe. I want you to finally feel safe as a werewolf and think this is a really good step. You’ll always have me in your corner”

“I’d rather have you in our bed”

Lance groaned at him, slapping his arm lightly

“That’s enough, Casanova. If I spread my legs anymore, they’ll fall out”

“We can’t have that. I love your legs”

And Lance’s arse... and his tummy... and pretty much every single bit of him...

“I know... God, it’s so nice to be home”

“Yeah, it really is”

[quibblesticks]

spread this for the bad adults to see

i don’t know if there are a ton of bad adults on tumblr, but i just want to say, for the record, that there are a lot of things you should not do to your kid!

from experience, here are some of the things you might not realize you’re doing that really make your child want to distance themselves from you:

- you don’t respect their space i cannot emphasize this first point enough. i get super uncomfortable when people get too close, so i tried to set boundaries with my mother. they got ignored literally moments after i tried to make them. this kind of thing makes your child stay as far away from you as possible so that you can’t invade their space as easily.

- you talk to them about things that make them uncomfortable if you do this to them, they will purposefully spend as little time with you as possible. at least, i know i do. while there are some things that people have to learn, making them uncomfortable should be for safety and education purposes ONLY, and not done unreasonably often. if you make your child uncomfortable, your communication will your child will almost undoubtedly suffer from it.

- you do complete 180s on them my mother constantly goes from smiling at something her friend said on the phone to downright glaring at me the second i say something she doesn’t like. it’s frustrating, unnerving, and it makes me feel like i can’t talk to her. 

- you only complement them for your purposes this one doesn’t make a lot of sense at first glance, so let me explain. you might only complement your kid when they did something you wanted them to do or if you’re about to ask them to do something you want them to do. for example, my mom wanted to get pictures taken of our family, and had a clear idea of what she wanted me to wear, even though I didn’t want to wear it because it made me uncomfortable and wasn’t well-suited for the weather. i ended up wearing it, and the second she saw me in it, she complemented me on how pretty i looked, and then asked if she could do my makeup (which i have established many times that i don’t like). you should obviously complement your kid if they feel uncomfortable and you think it’s the right thing to do, but you should always give them an option to change the thing that’s making them uncomfortable. you should also make many efforts to complement things just because you want them to feel good about themselves, not because of any personal motive. 

- you project onto them as i’ve grown up, i’ve noticed how badly my mother projects onto me, and mainly me. she constantly talks about how “fat” she is (i kid you not, she’s probably under 120 pounds) and how she needs to eat less (she eats very little at breakfast and lunch), among other things. i’ve noticed that she tries to limit my food intake as best she can, and constantly tells me that i’m going to “get fat” if i eat a decent amount of food. (for the record, i am like stick thin and constantly hungry. my friends can attest to this, since i’m always carrying around candy). it’s so frustrating to see my mother ignore my needs for fear that i’ll get fat, which is not even something that i’m concerned about. in addition, her fear has caused my siblings to constantly joke about how i’m supposedly going to get fat if i eat lots of junk food, which i’ve never taken to heart, but is still very toxic behavior. (projecting is part of gaslighting!)

- you take away their choices, and you never let them have their way in my opinion, this is one of the most common things i see my mother doing to me, and it’s one of the worst. she’ll constantly ask me if i want to do things, and when i say no, she’ll berate me for not wanting to do it. if i insist that it’s not something i want to do, i get punished for it. my only other option is to just go along with it, causing her to believe it’s something i actually want to do. even though, at face value, it looks like she gives me a choice, i really have no say in the matter except for what the consequences are. please bear with me for this part. it’s a long example, and requires context which i give, but it reinforces my point. for example, i once was made to do some volunteer work in a combination of my least favorite circumstances (forced to interact with people i don’t know and like in the middle of a sweltering summer filled with bugs, outside, doing yardwork). i didn’t get a choice in whether i went or not. my mother was talking to the mother of a girl in the group who she wanted to impress. (for context, i had told my mother multiple times that i don’t really like her daughter and don’t want to do activities with her. my mother kept insisting, saying that it was polite since they had invited us over.) she asked me if i wanted to get ice cream with the girl afterwards (i had been planning on going home and taking a shower). i said no, and she insulted me and asked me why. i told her i didn’t really like the girl and that it was really bad timing, since i just wanted to go home straight afterwards. my mother then proceeded to call me a spoiled brat, and it led into what was pretty much a screaming/crying match. it was awful. i still constantly think about it. she took away all my devices. (this was early quarantine, to rub salt in the wound). when she left the house, i had to ask my brother if i could use his phone to call my dad just so he could hear my side of the story before my mother got to him. after my mother got back to the house, i tried to communicate to her that if she insisted i have ice cream with this girl, i’d like to do it at a different time. at least before i got all sweaty and exhausted (mentally and physically) from yardwork. she continued to insult me and tell me that i should have said that sooner, and when i tried to tell her that i was getting there before she started calling me a spoiled brat, she got mad at me.  later, when things had calmed down, i had not gotten so much as a compromise. i even tried to ask my mom not to call me a spoiled brat in the future, and she told me it would only happen when i stopped acting like one. whatever trust i had for my mother is now long gone because of it. 

- you only place worth on their achievements, and not their mental health i’m sure this is a super common one that adults do. this is so upsetting to children because it makes them strive towards an impossible goal, sacrificing their well-being in the process. i feel like i don’t really have to give an example for this one, since it’s probably happened to everyone. in my experience, this has led to me overworking myself and never being satisfied with “almost there.” by not placing value on their mental health, you are making your kid feel like they are only worth what they can give you. this is toxic. 

- you isolate your child this is actually a sign of gaslighting. your child doesn’t need to be completely isolated for this to be considered gaslighting. as long as you make it so that it seems that they can only rely on you, you’re seriously hurting them. your child will almost inevitably realize that you’re trying to manipulate them, and it will cause them to hate you. there’s a difference between this and fair punishment for bad behavior, to be clear. for example, forcing them to cut off all contact with the outside world for a long (at least a week) or indefinite period of time is isolating them. if you ground them because of something you did, but still leave channels of easy communication with people they trust open for them, congratulations! you’re probably doing it right. this doesn’t happen to me as much as i see it in other people, but it’s still really important to be aware of what’s fair punishment and what’s not. 

there’s a ton of other things, and if you have anything you feel like adding, please do because i know i didn’t get them all, but i couldn’t make this like eight pages long.

basically, doing these things to your child makes them feel uncomfortable around you. they feel like they can’t trust you, and that means that they can’t communicate with you properly. they can’t and won’t ask you for help. they will inevitably distance themselves from you. 

in addition, they will feel alone. their mental health and sense of self-worth will probably deteriorate if left unchecked. they will have lower standards for themselves than they should. that increases their chances of being stuck in an abusive relationship or just generally feeling unsatisfied. 

personally, i feel like my experiences with my mother have led to problems communicating-- with anyone-- as well as feeling on edge whenever i’m around her. i’m beginning to realize that, as much as i hate lying, i speak to her mainly in half-truths. i feel like she only knows her idealized version of me: a preschooler who adores her and clings to her every word, and who can’t and/or won’t have opinions of her own. it’s also become very obvious to me that i am not her ideal daughter, not even close, nor do i ever think i will be. i don’t talk to her if i can help it, and i make efforts to be near her as little as possible. i never volunteer to be alone with her, and even make special efforts to ensure that i am not left alone with her. i am entirely willing to allow my relationship with my mother deteriorate, and can’t wait to move out. 

here is a link to the 11 warning signs of gaslighting, in case you are worried you are being gaslighted or you’re doing it to someone else: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting

i’m sorry the post was so long (and i probably definitely overshared-- oops) but again, feel free to add to this as you see fit

[cyborgsquirrel]

Sanctuary: Chapter 3

Pairing: Wolfstar

Summary: The epic tale of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, from their first meeting until their happily ever after.

Link to Prologue

Link to All Chapters

July 6th 1971

In the highlands of Scotland, Professor Albus Dumbledore, newly appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, sat at his desk completing some paperwork. He was checking through the letters of acceptance prepared by his deputy to ensure every child on the list would receive one. Whilst comparing the pile of envelopes against the list copied from the book of admittance, he also sorted them into two groups. One for children with magical lineage; they would receive their letters by owl. The other for children with muggle lineage; a member of the faculty would deliver these by hand, ready to demonstrate their magic for any disbelieving muggle parents.

Albus frowned when he came across a discrepancy, a name on his list with no corresponding letter. He sent a note down to his deputy, Professor Minerva McGonagall, asking her to come to his office as soon as possible, and she appeared at his door within half an hour.

'Albus? What do you need?' she said, walking in.

'Good afternoon, Minerva. Would you like a lemon drop?'

'No, thank you,' McGonagall said, eyeing the muggle candy with distaste.

'Straight to business then?' Dumbledore sighed. 'As you wish. We have a missing letter. Is there a reason you have forgotten Mr Lupin, or is this discrepancy merely a mistake?'

Dumbledore unwrapped a lemon drop and popped the sweet into his mouth.

'There's no mistake.' McGonagall sighed, taking a seat. 'It's a sad story, I'm afraid. A werewolf bit the poor wee lad. He was four years old when it happened.' She shook her head. 'Such a shame. His father wrote to ask us to remove him from the list.'

'Well, he must still be alive or his name would have disappeared from the book. Why will he not be coming to school?' Dumbledore said, frowning.

'He's a werewolf, Albus! You can't be suggesting we risk everyone else here for one boy.'

McGonagall looked shocked at the very idea.

'Risk? No. There's no need for risk. Are not the teachers here all Masters in our chosen fields? Between us, I'm sure we can make arrangements to accommodate the boy's condition. But think, Minerva. How much could it assist the light in the coming war if we had a magically educated werewolf in our ranks, one indebted to our cause? No doubt Riddle will attempt to recruit all manner of dark creatures over the next few years. If we had a werewolf on our side, we could hide a spy amongst them.' Dumbledore's eyes gleamed with excitement.

'I admit the idea has merit, but how do you know the boy would side with us?'

'Simply by showing him the kindness and acceptance the rest of society does not. Werewolves are easy prey for men like Riddle, ostracised as they are. We must make him feel accepted, wanted and even loved.' Dumbledore leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful expression. 'Now, let's discuss how we can ensure everyone's safety on full moons.'

-o-o-o-o-

July 8th

With the full moon occurring that night, Remus was meditating in his bedroom to prepare himself. This would be his fourth in the torture chamber, as he called the hole in the garden. His first night in the underground prison left him broken and bleeding, worse than ever before. The injuries were so severe, Remus suspected the wolf of attempting suicide. That quest would always fail though, the regeneration abilities made death from blood loss impossible. He wandered around his mental fortress checking doors and making sure everything was locked up tight.

A pounding on his bedroom door drew him from his mental landscape, and he knew it would be his dad coming to tell him it was time. He opened the door, and Lyall stood behind it, every inch of his skin covered in thick, puffy material to prevent accidental touch when he apparated Remus into the cage.

Remus hated this part. Human contact, but not quite. The almost touches felt unbearable to him. He could feel the pressure, but the bulk of his dad's coverings meant it was squishy. It didn't feel like human contact; it felt like wrapping a pillow around his arm. He held out his arm, and his dad gripped him hard, turned in a circle and pulled them both into the suffocating tunnel of apparition.

They reappeared inside the cage, and Remus sucked in a deep breath, waiting for the nausea to subside. Apparition always made him nauseous; doing it right before the moon made it so much worse. He was already ill before they apparated.

His dad tapped his foot, impatient for Remus to undress so he could take his clothes and leave. Remus disrobed as fast as possible, almost ripping his t-shirt in his haste to not make his dad angry, and handed him the bundle of material. His dad apparated away without a word, leaving Remus naked and alone in the garden cage.

A few minutes later, his mum broke the enforced solitude when she appeared above him between the bars and dropped a fluffy, purple blanket down to him through the gap. He wrapped himself in the material, feeling the warmth of gratitude flood him along with the warmth the blanket provided. It might be July, but he still shivered when sitting naked in the underground room.

They sat in silence for an hour. Remus was in no state for conversation so close to the moon, but her presence comforted him. When the first tingles of transformation fluttered through him, he pulled the blanket off and threw it up to the bars. His mum caught the edge and tugged it out.

'It's starting, Mum. You better go,' Remus said through a grimace.

He didn't want to scream until she left.

'Okay, sweetheart, I love you. See you in the morning.'

After she moved out of sight, Remus got down on all fours on the hard stone floor, knowing the position made things easier when his body morphed into a wolf, and tried to focus on his breathing. With his pain locked away in his mental vault, he maintained his calm for several minutes until the agony became too much for him to cope with, and he gave in to the screams.

-o-o-o-o-

The wolf awoke to the tiny space he had been imprisoned in for the last three days. He regretted escaping from his first world. This one was so much worse. Prowling around the cage, he wondered again how he got here. He remembered breaking out of the place that he had always lived in, and he remembered what he found Outside.

The beauty of the Outside overwhelmed him. So much space. With soft springy stuff under his feet and so many interesting smells. He ran and jumped, enjoying freedom for the first time. It was exhilarating. He met some other creatures out there. None were like him. They were much smaller, but they were friendly, and he played with them for a little while. When he grew tired, he had laid down to sleep, and when he awoke, he was here.

The air from Outside drifted in through the open-top of this unfamiliar place, torturing him with its promise of freedom, green spaces and open land where he could run and play. He spun around in a circle, whining, already knowing he would find no way out. He head-butted the wall a few times, understanding the futility of the action but needing to try. All options exhausted, he lay down with his head on his paws, defeated. Escape from this place seemed impossible. He would be trapped here forever.

He had reached the same conclusion for the last three days. The only way out was death. However much he injured himself, though, it seemed he would always be entirely healed by the time he woke up the next day. If he wanted to die before the healing began, then his injuries would need to be severe.

He scratched at himself, clawing deep into his flesh. The agonising pain ripped howls of anguish from his throat, but he didn't let it stop him. Pressing his fangs into his flesh, he bit down until they hit bone and howled again. He continued until the blood loss weakened him, and he collapsed on the hard, stone floor. As his eyes drifted closed, he hoped he had done enough damage that he would no longer be forced to endure this life, trapped, so close to freedom.

-o-o-o-o-

July 9th

The sound of a high-pitched scream woke Remus from his sleep. He groaned and rolled onto his back. The stench of blood flooded his nose, and he gagged as the odour overwhelmed his senses. Everything hurt. He forced his eyes open and immediately shut them again. The light coming through the ceiling bars burned.

'Mum?'

His voice came out hoarse and cracking.

'You're okay, Remus. Hold on, your dad's coming.'

She sounded worried. It's bad, Remus thought. It's really bad. And he let the darkness take him.

The next time he woke, he found himself tucked into his bed in his room. His mum sat in a chair next to him.

'How long did I sleep?' he asked, his words slurred with exhaustion.

'A little over twenty-four hours. How do you feel?'

'Awful, I just want to sleep more.'

'You can do that,' she said.

'Can you bring me a drink first?'

The doorbell rang.

They stared at each other. Both their faces showing identical expressions of wide-eyed fear. Who on earth would be ringing their doorbell?

'Stay here,' his mum hissed before almost running out of the room.

As if he possessed the energy to go anywhere, anyway. He listened hard, but only heard quiet murmurs coming from the direction of the front door. He waited an eternity for the mysterious visitor to leave and his mum to come back to tell him who it was.

When she did return, she was not alone. He stared with alarm at the tall man with the long white hair and beard. What was his mum thinking, bringing a stranger to his room?

'Remus, honey, this is Professor Dumbledore. He's here to make you an offer,' Hope said.

A Professor? From Hogwarts? What would a Hogwarts teacher want with him? He must want to give his students the chance to study a werewolf up close, he thought with a twinge of bitterness. Visions flashed through his mind of transforming in a cage in the middle of a classroom, his body tearing itself apart as he screamed. Groups of students watched and made comments to each other about how disgusting he was. He shuddered.

Dumbledore waved his hand at the chair next to the bed.

'May I?'

Remus shook the visions away and feigned politeness.

'If you like.'

'Thank you.'

Dumbledore sat down on the chair and looked him in the eye.

'Mister Lupin, it was recently brought to my attention that your name had been removed from the list of Hogwarts acceptance. When I inquired as to why such a terrible thing had occurred, my deputy informed me that you met with an unfortunate accident at four years old and now bear a tendency to howl at the moon once a month.'

Remus gasped, but Dumbledore continued undeterred.

'I see no reason such an affliction should prevent you from receiving an education, however. So, I am here to tell you that, should you wish to attend, there is still a place for you at Hogwarts, and we will welcome you with open arms.'

Dumbledore regarded him with twinkling blue eyes and a kind smile. Remus pulled himself to a sitting position, unable to believe his ears. The situation was surreal. He wondered if he was dreaming, or maybe it was some kind of cruel joke. How could it be true? He was a monster, unfit to be in the company of normal people.

'But how?' he asked. 'What about the full moon?'

'We are arranging accommodations for you. The school possesses a place for you to transform, away from the other students. You must tell no-one, of course. There is an unfortunate amount of prejudice against those afflicted with lycanthropy. But I'm sure an intelligent boy such as yourself can keep a secret,'

'Yes, sir,' he said.

Remus couldn't think of anything else to say. Thoughts raced around his mind in a whirlwind, but he couldn't settle on one to voice it.

Dumbledore stood and turned to Remus' mum.

'Well, I must be getting back. Lots to do before September, you understand. If you think of any further questions, please don't hesitate to get in touch.'

Dumbledore turned back to Remus and placed an envelope in his hand.

'I'll just leave this here with you, Mister Lupin. Please let me know your decision by the end of the month. Have a wonderful day.'

With that, Dumbledore swept from the room, his purple robes billowing around him and Remus' mum following to show him out.

Remus examined the envelope. Emerald green ink spelt out his name and address across the front in elegant script. He ripped the flap open and pulled out the pages inside.

Dear Mr Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1st September. We await your owl by no later than 31st July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Remus hugged the letter to his chest and broke down in tears.

-o-o-o-o-

August 10th

The Lupin family discussed the possibility of Remus going away to school for several days following Dumbledore's visit. Remus' dad claimed that the risk to other students was too great. He might brush against someone in the hallway or at mealtimes and infect them. The dining hall got crowded. Remus appealed passionately for his right to an education. He promised that he would be careful. He would wear gloves and long sleeves at all times and avoid crowds by going to class early and eating when the hall was quiet. His mum argued on his behalf. She knew attending Hogwarts meant everything to him, and she wanted him to be happy.

Remus found it strange that in the end, while his lycanthropy was his biggest obstacle to his mission, it also turned out to be his greatest ally in this one battle. In a sudden burst of inspiration, he had the fantastic idea to casually mention to his mum that a trained medi-witch worked at Hogwarts. Someone who could give him top-notch medical care after every full moon for the next seven years. His mum had put her foot down, and the decision was made. Remus would go to Hogwarts. And that was final.

This morning, Remus was jittery with excitement. They were going to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies, and not only would he be getting everything he needed for school - school! He could scarcely believe it - but he would also get to see other people for the first time in years. Not counting Dumbledore. He had been too nervous that day to really enjoy the experience. He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace waiting for his mum to get ready to leave. When she walked in, after he had waited for what felt like hours, she laughed at his impatience and told him to stop wearing a hole in the carpet.

They headed to Ollivander's first. The wand was the most expensive item on the list. They could only purchase it new, and the prices varied depending on which wand chose you. So by getting it first, they would know how much money they had left for everything else.

The little bell above the door rang as they opened it, and they walked into a seemingly empty shop. The walls were lined with shelves from floor to ceiling, and the shelves overflowed with long rectangular boxes. There was a small waiting area in one corner with a table and two chairs, but nothing else except the counter and a door behind it.

'Good morning, please come in. I'll be with you in a moment,' a voice shouted from the back room.

Remus and his mum stood in the middle of the dingy room and waited. A few minutes later, a plump old man with white hair walked out from the door behind the counter.

'You must be here for your first wand. Wonderful! Just stand there a moment, lad. Put your arms out to the sides. That's right. I'll just take your measurements.'

He waved his wand, and a tape measure flew over and started measuring various parts of Remus' body.

'Which is your wand hand?' the wizard asked as he rooted through the shelves, picking out the odd box and piling them on the counter.

'Er, my left,' Remus said, seriously unnerved by the tape measure, which was now measuring the space between his eyebrows.

Ollivander turned around and saw his predicament. He waved his wand, and the tape measure returned to the counter. Remus breathed a sigh of relief,

'Right then, there are a few possibilities here for you to try.'

He picked up a box and pulled out a greyish-brown wand with delicate carving around the base. 'First is this one: apple-wood, 11 inches, dragon heartstring, pleasantly swishy. Exceptional for charms. Give it a try.'

He handed the wand to Remus, and the moment it touched his hand, it shot out a burst of light that blew up the small table in the corner.

'Nope. No. Definitely not,' Ollivander said, snatching the wand back.

'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. It was an accident, I swear.'

The shock of the explosion made Remus' eyes fill with tears. Maybe he wouldn't even be able to own a wand. What if they all reacted like that to his touch? Would life be so cruel as to dangle his dream in front of him this way, only to snatch it away again?

'Not to worry. That sort of thing happens all the time. Perhaps this one will suit you better, hmm?'

He pulled out a wand made from pale, almost white wood. It was perfectly smooth apart from two grooves either side of the grip. It was beautiful.

'Elm, 9 and ¾ inches, phoenix feather, quite inflexible, brilliant for transfiguration. Go on, don't be shy.'

Remus accepted the wand with caution, not quite believing the man would let him touch another after the disaster of his first try. The wand felt a little warm in his hand, and he gave it a wave. It sputtered, but nothing else happened.

'Hmm, that one's close but not quite right. Let me see.'

He rubbed his chin and eyed the shelves for a moment before jumping forward as if in receipt of some sudden inspiration.

'I know, try this one.'

He pulled out a jet black wand with runes carved into the base. Remus eyed the thing with distaste. Black? Because I'm a dark creature? Wonderful, he thought.

'Ebony, 9 inches precisely, unicorn hair, slightly springy. A nice all-rounder, this one.'

Remus took the wand, and warmth travelled up his arm and spread through his chest. The wand shot out red sparks, and the wand-maker clapped his hands together.

'Wonderful, a lovely choice,' he said. 'Ebony wood favours those who are not afraid to be themselves and those who are steadfast in their beliefs. The unicorn hair provides smooth, consistent magic. Combined, they make for a most powerful wand.'

Maybe black doesn't always mean bad, Remus thought, admiring his new wand while his mum paid.

Next, they stopped at Madam Malkin's for his uniform. They picked up quills, ink and parchment from the stationery store and, of course, Remus already owned all the books required. They saved the apothecary for last, not wanting to be weighed down by the bulky cauldron and potions kit all day. By the time they finished purchasing everything on the list, there remained just enough money to get Remus an owl.

'The school keeps owls for the students to use, Mum. You don't need to waste money on that,' Remus said, juggling his new cauldron and trying to find a way to carry it that didn't make it bang against his legs.

'I know. I'm buying you one anyway,' she said, taking the cauldron from him and smiling.

Remus gave up, and he entered Eeylops Owl Emporium with trepidation. The stench would be so much worse for him than for normal people, and he wondered if the owls would react to his canine-ness.

The odour hit him in the face as soon as he pushed the door open. He tried not to breathe too much, and only through his mouth, but the droppings and the musty, animal scent were still overpowering and made him gag. To his surprise and delight, the owls made no reaction to his presence in the shop.

'Good afternoon. How may I help you?' the shop-keeper asked as they walked up to the counter.

'Hello, I'm here to purchase an owl for my son to take to Hogwarts,' his mum said, a hint of pride in her voice that made Remus blush.

Remus didn't understand what she was proud of though. The school had accepted him, it was true, but that wasn't an achievement. He might be useless at magic yet.

'Excellent, well, come along, son. Let's see if any of our feathered friends take a liking to you, shall we?'

The shop-keeper walked out from behind the counter and made to put his hand on Remus' shoulder, but Remus shied away from the contact. He didn't want to infect the older man. The man's eyes widened with surprise, but he took the hint, dropped his hand and, in a smooth recovery, stepped ahead of Remus to lead him through the shop.

'Follow me. This way.'

He led Remus through the shop. Some of the owls ignored Remus completely as they wandered through the maze of perches, a few opened a sleepy eye, gazed at him and went back to dozing. One owl though, a small one with greyish-brown plumage and a haughty expression, flew down from a perch in the rafters and landed on Remus' shoulder. Remus jerked a little with surprise and carefully turned his head to look the bird in the face.

'Hello there, little guy. You're just as tiny as me, aren't you?' he said to the bird, smiling a little at the sensation of physical contact with another living being. The owl let out a deep whistle in reply and nuzzled Remus' cheek.

'I reckon we've found you a match,' the shop-keeper said. 'You're a lucky boy. Scops owls are picky when choosing a wizard to bond too, but they are unerringly loyal when they do.'

'Thank you, sir. Is it a girl or a boy?' Remus asked, wanting to name his new friend.

'She's a girl, and she's only a year old, so she will be with you for many years. With magical assistance, she may live to be thirty.'

Remus ached at the idea of his new friend dying, so he pushed it from his mind. A girl, he thought, and wondered about what to call her; he wanted her name to be something perfect.

Chapter 4

[babyclothing589-blog]

Best Baby Strollers For 2019

Top 10 Best Baby Strollers 2020

There are two types of adjustable manages: telescoping and pivot. A telescoping deal with bar can be adjusted for taller or shorter people by moving in and out of the frame. The angle of the handle will stay the same no matter the height. A pivot deal with bar changes by moving up and below a fixed point on the frame.

If you are shorter a rotating deal with ought to fit you will as there will only be times where you will remain in taller or shorter shoes. But, if you or your spouse are taller you will certainly want to take a look at strollers with telescoping manages. The sun shade is the typically left-out feature (because all tones are created equivalent, best? Incorrect!).

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The 25 Best Infant Strollers Of 2019

Some featured everything you would potentially desire, others do not. So, what kind of devices are you wanting for sure and what can you live without? What is the cost of the them for one brand versus another brand? The stroller weight is a crucial factor for everybody, but particularly city dwellers, shopping center crawlers and joggers.

That's a lot of weight! When evaluating out a stroller, fold it up and after that lift it. If it is not too difficult for you then you need to have the ability to press it for long durations of time and put it in and out of an automobile no problem! Ask yourself: how simple is it to fold this stroller? A good quantity of full-sized strollers now have a one-hand fast fold.

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Hybrid tires: These tires prevail to higher-end full-size strollers. They have a hard plastic outer layer with a layer of foam on the inside. The idea is that these wheels will offer the same control over rough terrain as all-terrain without having to stress over the tire deflating. All-terrain tires: These tires prevail to jogging and all-terrain strollers.

Moms' Picks: Best Strollers

Best Travel Strollers And Lightweight Strollers

You will require to keep an eye out for tire deflation from time-to-time though similar to with a routine bike tire. Phew! That was a great deal of details! But excellent job, you made it through. Now, remember: for the majority of you will never ever discover that "best stroller" that has every single function you want.

10 Best [& Safest] Baby Stroller Brands

Picking the best travel stroller is essential for ensuring your child's comfort and safety on the road. It likewise needs to be as parent-friendly as possible, as well as simple to transportation, push, and maneuver no matter where you are headed. Prior to you devote to your next little baby kit, think about the benefits over your existing stroller or travel system to discover a travel stroller that completely fits you and your youngster's needs.

Discover the top-voted baby products, all picked by real mamas The 2018 Infant Center Moms' Picks include the most popular infant items voted on by more than 85,000 Child Center moms and dads. Usage Moms' Picks to inspire your infant computer registry checklist , a relied on resource for expectant parents attempting to determine the must-haves.

Moms' Picks winners are identified by online ballot on. Baby Center Moms' Picks are not recommendations. Child Center does not endorse any particular item.

The most precious cargo that a parent will ever bring is his/her child. It's not really surprising then that a baby stroller is among the very first things composed on a future parent's list. Strollers certainly make life much easier when you're going around running errands or meeting loved ones.

Strollers can also deal with carrying all of those items you require when going out of the home with your baby-- modification of clothing, diapers, milk, wipes, and whatever else you think the infant needs. Considering that we've currently established that a stroller is in order for any new moms and dad, how does one pick which are the finest child strollers? You can't actually select simply willy-nilly.

Best Strollers From Consumer Reports' Tests

Nevertheless, it can be an overwhelming job just looking at all of the options available in the market today. Not to fret, however, due to the fact that we have actually whittled down that exhaustive list to 10. Contents Things to Think About Pros: Several configurations Can seat more than 2 children easily Huge storage basket Cons: Costly Heavy/bulky Not for maneuvering tight areas Pros: Light-weight however durable Several recline positions (including lying flat) Easy to maneuver Cons: Wheels not produced rough surface Canopy is too brief Cup holder is lightweight The Infant Jogger City Mini is another light-weight stroller but one particularly developed for city dwellers, hence the name.