#your company is not so bad as long as your a bunch of solar systems away

[i-will-always-love-the-jedi]

Happy Monday :DD

Elzar is forcing them to say one nice thing to the other one each day

He is very proud

…

[barnesbabee]

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ - ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀʟᴀɴᴅ

WONDERLAND MASTERLIST ⇜ ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ - ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ-  ɴᴇxᴛ ⟿

CHARACTER LIST: White Rabbit - Choi Jongho Absolem (Blue Catterpilar) - Kang Yeosang Cheshire Cat - Kim Hongjoong Mad Hatter - Choi San Haigha (March Hare) - Jung Wooyoung Tweedle Dee - Song Mingi Tweedle Dum - Jeong Yunho Bloody Red King - Park Seonghwa

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @myunvillage @mirror-juliet @jess-1404 @earth-to-leiki [Send me a DM, an ask or comment to be added to the tag list]

"Teach you what?"

"How to be a better man, how to have mercy, and compassion."

Unbeknownst to you, a little purple and pink cat watched every step you took. Of course, it wasn't because he cared. Cheshire (unlike many other Wonderland villagers) genuinely wasn't affected by your presence, or lack there of, but the Hatter had asked him, in exchange of a hefty reward, of course, to keep an eye on his beloved Y/N.

While watching over you Cheshire just did a whole bunch of growling and nose scrunching. He hated the sight of the King, and even worse, was the sight of such a man in love.

"Such a shame to be the bearer of bad news dear friend," Cheshire said, not at bothered by the fact that he had bad news to tell "but it seems as if Y/N will be our new Queen."

The cat twirled a strand of his coloured hair around his index finger, as he fell down onto one of the many chairs along with the Hatter's never-ending table.

The Hatter's eyes widened and so did his toothy smile.

"She's carrying on with the plan! She will decapitate him herself and become our Queen! Oh but I'm so happy I could dance the Futterwacken again!"

He clapped feverously and suggested a toast, clearly missing the meaning of Cheshire's words.

"I'm afraid you missed what I meant, Hatter. She will be our Queen, because she will be marrying the King."

The atmosphere suddenly became silent, eerie even. The Hatter's green, sparkly eyes transformed into an ugly, rage-filled, yellow. The man gripped the teacup on his hand so hard it broke, but the rage, disappointment, and growing heartbreak fogged his brain to the point where he didn't even notice the pain, nor the blood trickling down his palm.

The Hatter was rarely angry, but when he was, it was enough to scare poor Cheshire, who didn't hesitate in disappearing into thin air. Or he tried to. Before every bit of his body could be gone, the Hatter grabbed Cheshire's hair, making the cat groan in pain, and threw him on the ground.

"What has he done to her!? Was it a curse!?"

Cheshire caressed his head and stood up to look at the Hatter.

"It wasn't a curse Hatter, she fell in love. After you deceived her and the King showed her nothing but truth and love, the choice was pretty evident."

The reasonable explanation seemed to calm down the Hatter, whose eyes morphed back into their greenish colour. However the dread and panic in his face were still evident. Cheshire, still quite upset at Hatter's tantrum, could see on his friend's face an expression of someone about to spew a terrible, terrible idea.

"We must get her away from the Palace. It's gotten into her head. Let's get her back to us!"

The man-like cat floated back to his usual place in the air, twirling in the process. He chuckled audibly, showing his sharp canines in the process.

"Hmm yes, let's steal her away from the man she's come to love, so she could be with us, the people who lied to her for our own benefit. Sounds like a party if you ask me..."

"A party!?" Haigha exclaimed, his left eye twitching as he smiled widely at the mention of his favourite hobbie.

"That's where the King's behaviour comes in our favour," the Hatter said, patting Haigha's head so he'd sit back down "once he sees her take her beloved Queen away, he will show his true colours, Remember how scared and freaked out she was last time we saw her? She said he seemed really sweet while talking to her until he eventually snapped. Once he snaps, he will freak out and bring out the tyrant's behaviour and scare her away."

It was hard for Cheshire to admit, but his mad friend's plan wasn't so mad after all. It was possible to accomplish what the Hatter suggested, and there was nothing to lose, you already hated them anyway.

The Hatter slapped his thighs and stood up, fixing his big top hat in the process.

"Shall we go?"

Haigha was already standing up from his seat when Cheshire stopped them.

"Perhaps we should discuss the plan further... Something tells me we might need some help from Absolem and Bayard..."

Sneaking you out past the Card Knights would take a lot of help, and Cheshire had already worked out in his head the escape plan. It would take a little pressure on Absolem, as he managed to care even less about the people around him than Cheshire did, but the cat was sure he could get a shrinking cake out of the blue catterpillar. After shrinking you and hatter down to the size of a strawberry, Bayard (the loyal dog friend of Hatter's, that Cheshire tried his best to keep a distance of) would bring you to the White Rabbit's house, as it would be too obvious to come back to the Hatter's cabin.

The cat had no intention to help you, but he did like to see some drama and commotion in Wonderland once in a while, and this was his chance.

Whilst all of the furious planning went on on the greenlands of Wonderland, in the Palace you and the King sat opposite of each other on his bed, gossiping like two high schoolers.

"And then my best friend at the time, Anna, slept with my boyfriend and said it was 'because of a dare'. I forgave her because we had been friends for so long but then she told my crush that I smelled so I stopped being her friend."

The King nodded along and listened attentively (trying his best to cross his legs just like you, but failing miserably) to your story.

"Hm yes, yes, I understand. My best friend ate one of my tarts so I cut off his head."

You couldn't help but scoff at the way he compared the situations, although you reprehended him right after for the heartless act.

He had asked to know of your previous life, how it was back in your world, and so you sat there reminiscing your past for hours on end. Most people in Wonderland came from other places, but Seonghwa had never been elsewhere, as he was born in the Kingdom.

"So this establishment you call 'school', was it like a club you went to where you reunited with your peers?"

"No, no. School was a mandatory thing for all kids, we went there and a bunch of teachers taught us about different things."

"Hm, but all you've told me so far were anecdotes about these friends of yours, what were these classes like?"

You blushed slightly, realizing that in fact, you didn't remember shit from school, aside from past dramas.

"Well, they told us many things about earth, about what makes the world move, about how society works, and what makes things work. We learned about gravity, about numbers, about stars-"

"Stars!?"

The King's eyes lit up as if he was a child whom you had promised ice cream to.

"Yes, stars. Why?"

Seonghwa stood up from the bed in such a violent manner, he nearly fell. The man ran over to his closet, from where he retrieved an old book. The hard cover was beginning to tear, and the once white pages had become a weird mix of brown and yellow, but you took it in your hands nevertheless.

"This book once fell into the Wonderland when I was a child. I was alone most of the time, so it kept me company. I can tell from the images it talks about the stars, and I think I learned a lot from it since I stared at them a lot, but I cannot comprehend the alien language."

The King leaned against the headboard, and you laid beside him, placing your head on his chest, so you could hear his now nervous heart beating fast from the contact. Out of instinct, the King placed his arm around you and pulled you closer, as you opened the book.

You chuckled slightly, after seeing the author of the book and opening its pages.

"Seonghwa this isn't an alien language, it's Italian. Well, I guess it's an alien language to you, but it was funny that you said it that way... The person who wrote it was very influential back where I'm from, he taught the people of Earth many things about our space."

The male listened carefully as you tried your best to explain the things in the book as best as you could.

"This here is what we call the Solar System. It has nine planets, but only one of them has people, this one, where I live." You told him, pointing towards Earth.

Seonghwa noticed how your posture changed, after you remembered once more that you would never return home again, and panicked for a second. He disliked many things, but your tears had definitely gone up to his number 1 on the list.

"How about I ask for a picnic to be arranged in the garden, and at night we can watch the stars."

You turned to face him and smiled as you nodded. Seonghwa's thumb caressed your arm, and you couldn't help but to place a soft kiss on his lips, as a 'thank you'. No matter how many times you did that, the King never seemed to get used to it. He would always feel butterflies in his stomach and fireworks exploding on his chest. Sometimes you felt perverted, thinking of how he'd react if one day you decided to take it... further. You imagined how pretty he'd look... But you decided to take your time. Baby steps...

The King couldn't wait for dinner time, and you could tell from the number of times he had gone up to the window and pushed away the blinds to see if the sun was finally setting.

As he was staring out the window, you came behind him and wrapped your arms around his figure.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

Seonghwa looked around, to make sure no one was nearby eavesdropping. He wouldn't want your secret to being known.

You tiptoed so your lips could be leveled with his ear.

"You're adorable."

Once you got back down and looked into his gleeful eyes, you smiled.

"Let's keep this secret between us!" He joked along.

"Yes, I wouldn't want the other ladies to know and steal you away."

Seonghwa held your face and lovingly placed a kiss on your forehead.

"The other ladies don't stand a chance next to you princess."

Your cheeks heated up and you slapped his chest out of embarrassment. The King's face grew worried and confused.

"Why did you hit me? Have I done something wrong? It was meant to be a compliment I'm sorry I compared you to-"

You grabbed his face and squished his cheeks, making him form an adorable pout with his red lips.

"Seonghwa, it was a good thing. I slapped your chest because I was embarrassed, I was really touched by your compliment."

Once you let go of his face, the King tapped his chin with his index finger, in a pensive manner.

"I have much to learn about our future interactions, I do not understand many things."

You just chuckled and took his hand in yours.

"We have many years ahead of us, you will learn someday."

The small acknowledgment of your future made Seonghwa very happy. Never in his pitiful life had he even thought of being this happy over small actions... Last week the only thing that brought him joy was the sound of a traitor's head hitting the concrete floors of the palace's main area, but since you arrived, a smile was all it took for his cold heart to start beating again.

It didn't take long before one of the frogmen knocked on the door to inform the picnic was ready. Seonghwa didn't let go of your hand as you walked outside, to sit among the red roses.

You had finally come to terms with Wonderland's weird food. You had no choice really...

"Have you never been attracted to anyone, Seonghwa?" You asked as you munched down on a sandwich of... whatever it was.

Seonghwa's expression faded a little.

"Once. I had just become King and I thought that the next step would, logically, be the find a Queen. Every woman displeased me. All but one. She was beautiful, hair as dark as the night sky, tanned skin from the sun, and a beautiful mole under the eye. But she was cold, evil... I thought that it was a perfect match. After all, I wasn't the most caring person. But she would treat me like a servant. Our relationship was purely to serve a purpose to the Kingdom, nothing else. We slept in separate rooms and spent the day apart. We only dined together, but since I saw the same behavior from my parents I thought that that was love. Our wedding had been scheduled long before she moved into the castle, we were simply waiting for the preparations to be finished. Everything was custom made, from the clothes to the flowers on every table. The day before the wedding I walked to her bedroom and found her laying with a servant of mine. You know, back when they weren't... Frogs. I had them both decapitated, of course. And I swore off love forever. That is until you came along."

You flashed him a sad smile and set down your food. He looked awfully confused as you climbed onto his lap, but he didn't protest.

You brushed his dark hair away from his eyes. Both of them. He suddenly felt very exposed and insecure, but you kissed his cheek, reassuringly.

"Ever since I came down here you've shown me nothing but love, and honesty. You didn't try to sugarcoat who you are, or what you've done, and I appreciate your honesty. My place in Wonderland is with you."

The male smiled, and kissed you, a little more passionately than all of the previous times. The male's hands trailed down your ass, and pulled you on top of his growing erection.

"For someone who has never been with anyone you're quite good at this."

"Well I... I lied. I had a fiancé after all, and we laid together but we didn't get far. There was no kissing involved, she just wanted to get it over with since I was the one who suggested we should... do it. But she made fun of me for not being good at it and I became... insecure. I was insecure and for the longest time I've wanted to try it with you, because you give me those special butterflies but I was afraid I'd disappoint you."

"What a cold, heartless bitch!" You thought to yourself. No wonder he was so bad at human interactions, every relationship he had was a trainwreck!

You grabbed his face and placed a long kiss on his lips.

"Well then, let me lead at first. If you start feeling more confident, you can take the lead, if not, I'll stay in control, okay?"

The King simply nodded and kissed you once more. This time deeper than he had ever kissed anyone. Tongues fighting so intensely the King nearly missed the way your hand expediently undid his trousers. Your hand slipped inside his boxers and took out his length. You looked down at the dick in your hand and widened your eye.

"Well aren't I a lucky girl."

You spat in your hand and kissed him again, as your hand worked up and down his shaft. The King was surprisingly very vocal, and he didn't try to hide or suppress any of his pretty moans (and for that you were thankful.

You stopped your hand, right as he was getting riled up.

"Ready for something better?"

The King watched you strip from your panties, and he cursed the frilly dress that covered your womanhood, but as soon as you sunk down on his cock, all of his worries and anguishes washed away. It was automatic, the way he gripped your hips and made you bounce on him as he snapped your hips against yours was something he did naturally as if he truly knew what he was doing. You brought out something different in him, and the King was simply doing was his body was telling him to do.

You gripped his shoulders, overwhelmed with the feeling of having him inside you.

"S-shit Seonghwa, you're good, r-really fucking good."

"Oh yeah?"

He flipped you two around, so he could pound into you with all the strength he had. Your words of encouragement were all he needed.

Your consistent (and loud) moans got him on the edge quickly, and he knew he wouldn't last long.

"Y/N forgive me, but I don't think I can last much longer."

Your hand reached down and began circling your clit, so when he came inside you, filling you up with his cum, you came right after, with a loud cry for his name.

Seonghwa laid on top of you, his face nuzzled on the crook of your neck, trying to regain his breath. You ran your hand through his hair as you did the same, looking up at the sky.

"The stars sure look beautiful today."

[codevassie]

Canonverse VLD Fic Recs

[***Let me know if I’ve missed anything on the Content Warnings!]

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[*Leave these authors Comments, please and thank you!]

Keith’s Type by AmbitiousSkychild

Status: Complete

Summary: “How would anyone notice what anyone else’s type is in the middle of all this?!” Matt demanded, laughing. “What’s Keith’s type?” Lance blurted out like an idiot. “It’s… obvious,” Pidge said. “He gets all flustered over shitty puns and most physical comedy. And have you seen the way he stares at Hunk when he’s going on about the mechanics of something? Like how the lions work? I’ve literally seen him blushing when Hunk goes into explanation mode.” “So, you think he has a crush on Hunk?” Lance squawked. “No. You bonehead,” Pidge laughed. “I’m saying any dad-joke-telling, klutzoid with good grades has probably got a pretty good shot at Keith.” Or: It figures that after years of getting it hilariously wrong face-to-face, Lance finally gets good at talking to Keith through a screen, which is, like, one of his biggest accomplishments. Then, Pidge makes the comment that Keith has a type, while heavily implying that it's Matt. But, listen, with everything going on with Voltron, the coalition, the Blade of Marmora, and Coran, Lance isn't going to get distracted worrying about it. Ask anyone, he's always been great with measuring levels of importance....

Relationships: Klance

CW: Jealousy, Referenced Suicide

My thoughts: As disappointing as canon can be, the canon universe has so much potential that authors take full advantage of. When canon posed the problem of Keith being apart from the team for oh so long, our wonderful authors simply took it as a challenge. This is one of the brilliant fics that roll with the long-distance thing, and it takes place throughout season four. I love fics from this season because A Lot happens and I thought there was so much more to it than what canon gave us--the team breaking apart was a big deal to me, so focusing on team dynamics, Keith’s time with the Blade, and--gosh--the end of this season, just means a lot to me. It focuses on a klance relationship in the heat of utter turmoil, and Lance’s jealousy was a cute and humorous aspect, especially with how harmless it was through Lance’s personality and the realization that he likes Keith.

The Loverboy Trials by PM_Writes

Status: Complete

Summary: He can tell Shiro is struggling to remain collected. “And why do you think Keith is your…sex…god?” And geez, that would be so much funnier if this wasn’t so disturbing. The representative leads them to the back of the council room where she pulls aside a large curtain. Behind it, a huge mural stretches to the ceiling. It looks exactly like Keith.

Relationships: Klance

CW: Referenced Suicide, Violence, Talk of Dubious Consent and Sex, Suffocation, (Alien) Alcohol, Injury

My thoughts: Another #FuckNaxzela2017 fic. This takes place after season four and Keith stays with Voltron for a bit after what happened. The team goes on a mission and things get weird--so, like, a regular canonverse fic, but when the war is getting really serious and we most need a bit of that Voltron normalcy (discretion: Voltron “normalcy” is missions going wrong and wonky). It’s really cool because the team is sort of back together, but Keith is still separated from them for the majority of the fic--just not with the Blade. It’s really weird circumstances, but Keith and Lance still interact throughout the fic a lot, so don’t let that discourage you. Its absurdity is hilarious; there’s excellent klance banter, and great fluff and angst.

Of Escorts and Espionage by hisboywriter

Status: Complete

Summary: Lance preened. Escort? That sounded kind of sexy and badass. “Why, of course, Princess,” he said, standing up to offer his hand at Allura. “I would escort you to the most Galra-infested reaches of the galaxy if you asked.” Allura’s arm rose but the hand she placed in Lance’s palm was not hers.It was Keith’s. ~ AKA I just really wanted klance blossoming through an adventure

Relationships: Klance

CW: Sexual Content, Blood and Violence, Vehicle Crash, Injury, Alcohol, Jealousy, Nightmares, Hyperventilation, Attempted Kidnapping, Fainting, Torture, Death

My thoughts: Remember this one? No? Seems like you’ve got an exciting read ahead of you. This is one that I read pretty early on in the fandom, so it’s a big nostalgia pick. It really emphasizes that enemies to lovers trope, and there’s secrets across the freaking spectrum. Lance and Keith are keeping secrets bc they’re undercover, but there’s also a whole bunch of shady stuff going on at this planet, and Keith is getting those Bad Vibes constantly. It is exciting and breathtaking and so beautifully written. 

and, we dream of home by mothpoem

Status: Incomplete, Continuation Not Determined

Summary: “Then come see me,” Lance murmurs, and it makes Keith’s heart pound behind his breastbone. “Us, I mean. Once a week or something? Like mental health check-ins. We can just hang out, or...or go on low-priority, low-stress missions? Scouting, or flower-picking for Coran, or supply runs. Dumb stuff. Just...so we know how you are. I don’t want...I mean, we all miss you. And I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but...it feels like you’re not...not okay, Keith.” Well, Keith thinks, a little weakly. He never really stood a chance, did he? “Okay,” he says, right away. No fight. No refusal. His life is a hell of a lot easier when he lets himself cave under all the ways he wants Lance's luminous attention, and company, and friendship. All the ways he wants Lance, full stop.

Relationships: Klance

CW: Swearing, Immature Teen Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol, Dream Major Character Death, Referenced Suicide, Death Mention, Self-Deprecation, Bullying, Injury and Blood, Miscommunication

My thoughts: This fic makes me. So Happy. It’s another one after season four--really, during season five--because I have a problem, but oh my gosh look at how happy these boys are and tell me your heart isn’t full of joy. I’ll wait. Really, that’s the point of the recs; go read. Stupid teenagers in love stuck in the middle of a war, but they really need a freaking break and I support that. They deserve a break. They’re like fucking twelve. This fic just is so cute and so soft and so funny; it gives me life every time. 

Crossroads by manamune

Status: Complete

Summary: When Keith crashed his Lion into a Galra warship in order to stop it from destroying a solar system, and more importantly, his friends, he was fully prepared to die for it. What he didn’t prepare for was to wake up in an alternate universe where he and Lance were dating.

Relationships: Klance

CW: Panic Attacks, Dubious Consent, Referenced Suicide, Blood and Violence, Injury, Coma, Medication Mention, Sex and Sex Tape Referenced, Trauma, References to Hallucinations

My thoughts: Another throw-back! The Naxzela of its time, if I may say so. I'm joking. Sort of. It really kind of predicted that shit, though, didn't it. Anyway, this was another fic I read early on in this fandom and can I just tell you how blown away I was? It's labeled as a murder mystery, and, you know what, it is. You are absolutely trying to figure out what's going on the whole time, and it keeps you on the edge of your seat. It doesn’t... technically... take place in canonverse the whole time, but the main Keith is from canonverse. So it counts. Absolutely enthralling read.

[theheartchoice]

Lonely Is The Word 

teen  |  2k  |  canonverse s6  |  ao3

for @profoundnet's bi-weekly Bot Stat challenge. prompt issued: April 30th 2019 

Dean needs a beer. Cas is listening to angel radio. S̸a̵m̴ ̸i̶s̵ ̸f̵i̵n̵e̷.̸ ̷E̵v̵e̵r̵y̶t̵h̷i̴n̸g̴ ̵i̶s̵ ̷j̵u̶s̶t̵ ̷f̸i̴n̶e̷..̴.

Sam knows about his soulless gap year and Bobby's having a hard time trusting the resurrected version. Even without monsters, their lives are still a shitshow. Add in warring Angels and friggin' Purgatory-seeking Dragons and Dean just needs a second to breathe.

Dean only leaves because Sam is safe. No safer place than Bobby's. He just needs an hour or two to wrap his mind around things.

With Baby back to rights he drives 'til the sun dips below the wheatgrass horizon, no destination set in stone but half tempted to find a bar just south of the border. It's the best combo there is to clear his head: just the open road, whatever's on tap wherever he pulls up, and the right kind of company for just long enough to sate this desire to scream his lungs out - at crappy circumstance, at the Winchester family curse, at his own bad choices. 

He just wanted his brother back, is that so bad? Sam didn't deserve to be left behind - not in that place; no one does. He shudders to think how Alastair's torture might pale in comparison to Lucifer's. For Sam to go through that again - to re-discover whatever's left of him? Forget calling in Death for a quick-fix favour, because even Dean knows some things can't be fixed, can't be undone, unseen. 

Dean lives with his memories from the pit every day. Avoids 'em, as much as it's possible to do so without some magic mind-block, but he's changed forever because of 'em. And Sam might not've been the one dealing out damnation, but if time works in a similar way down there then he was Lucifer's chew toy for over a century. And if that doesn't shake anyone to their foundations just to think about then they're either a lunatic or a goddamn liar. 

Cas spelled out Dean's fear in no uncertain terms: Let me tell you what his soul felt like when I touched it: like it had been skinned alive. 

But was he right? Had Dean doomed Sam to a fate worse than death by trying to do the right thing? Trying to save him?

If you wanted to kill your brother you should have done it outright. 

Sam's fine - for now. But how long before his wall crumbles into Hellfire? The structural integrity's already been compromised, and no matter what Sam promised, Dean knows his brother: if Sam wants to right his own alleged wrongs then he'll do it and nevermind the cost to himself.  

And while Dean holds fast that whatever Samdroid did while his soul was MIA isn't on Sam, Bobby's less convinced. Just to throw another wrench in the gears of the 'better life' that was 'spose to finally be possible after the Apocalypse was averted. Not that that was really ever gonna happen. 

No Armageddon, but the tradeoff was Sam jumping into the pit. Sam gets resurrected, but his soul gets left behind. Dean gets a taste of the Apple Pie life, but hunting is his bread and butter. There's a civil war up in the clouds because (as everyone well-knows) Angels are dicks. And as if the self-crowned king of Hell trying to rip a hole between dimensions wasn't enough, apparently that little adventure is now on some dragon-dude's bucket list. 

Crazy as it sounds, Dean kinda misses the ol' days. Y'know, when all they had to do was take down a couple of overzealous Archangels. They've got shit stacking up on so many spinnin' plates right now it's impossible to tell which one's gonna be the first to topple and shatter, that crap raining down on 'em in a mess of blood and pain and one gruesome smear of trouble after another - and it'll soil a bunch of innocent people too, if they're not careful. 

Knowing their luck it probably won't be just the one plate, either. 

But when it comes to this sorta thing all they can really do is.. wait n' see. Try to be ready to divert whatever mountain of crap avalanches at them - or try to outrun it, sidewind it before the risk catches up with them and the goddamn consequences bury them alive. 

    Some small-town city limits come into view just as the clouded night kisses down the last of twilight. Dean knows this place. He can get what he needs here, on a lucky night. Hell, two out of three ain't bad. Booze? Check. Distance? Check. Company?.. Guess he'll have to wait and see. 

He'd kinda like some answers, too. Some goddamn direction to point himself in when he hits the road again. And there is a certain someone who might be able to help with that - or might not. But whatever the case, Dean wouldn't turn his company away. Maybe what he needs right now, more than anything, is a friend. 

Baby slows to a stop in the vacant lot across the street from the bar, Black Sabbath cutting out with the purr of her engine. 

"Hey, Cas.." And where the hell does he go from here? Honesty, or a passable lie? Maybe somewhere in between. "I know you think what I did for Sam was the wrong call, and.." Yeah.. okay. "..honestly, I dunno. I dunno if what I did is gonna make things better or worse in the long run. All I know is that I had to, man - I had to." There's really no more to it than that. Except maybe just, "I could really use a friend, right about now." Reckless little brother, uncle who lied to him for a year; seems he can't really go wrong seeking the advice of his Angelic best friend, right? Even if he has been out of sorts since their little reunion. Better than the alternatives at least, even if there is a year of space between them now. 

Dean'd be lying if he said he didn't wonder what Cas got up to during that year. Caught himself before shooting off a prayer more than once. Maybe just to check in, maybe to brainstorm ways to save Sam. His spirit - already struggling to dry off from the shitstorm of their lives - was dampened to learn that Cas wasn't the one who saved Sam from The Cage - or tried to. Cas did try though, so maybe that's somethin'. 

In the time it would take for Heaven and Hell to play out the last few bars of track seven and most of the closing number, Dean sits alone in the driver's seat, headlights lighting the way to nowhere, waiting. 

Turns out to be just another mistake in a long line of dumbass mistakes, another mark on the board for his tally of bad choices. Baby purrs back to life half only half a minute before she's put to sleep again and Dean's stalking away into the bar. 

    "—Castiel?" Rachel's voice pulls him back before his wings denote a telltale stretch - still a reflex he must wilfully deny. "Is something wrong?"

Yes. "No, I was just.. listening." 

Her eyes harden, and Castiel has been made accustomed to that look over the last mortal year as she nods. "Raphael's soldiers think blocking our channels with their rhetoric will hinder our efforts, but his numbers are not what ours are. And they can't affect our communications for much longer." 

Of course. It is a tactic only effective in the short-term, for the amount of energy required to interfere would significantly drain the Angels pervading the etheric communicative transference. 

She proceeds to inform him of their recent losses in battle along with how many of Raphael's soldiers were presumably wounded or killed. 

Castiel dreads such knowledge perhaps most of all; knowing the extent of Angelic grace being spilled in a war that would not be waging if not for his actions, his choices alone. The only reprieve he finds from the guilt is in the belief that Raphael would have spilled more - and destroyed the Earth, as well - if Castiel and his brothers and sisters had not taken up arms against him. 

He manages a tight-lipped smile, something enough to satisfy that he understands. "Have we any more news of the missing weapons?" 

"Not yet." 

"Then I suggest you get back to it." 

In the very least, being the Commander of garrisons affords him seniority, and with it the propensity to not have to explain himself further. 

She takes her leave, and once he feels her grace reach an adequate distance in the aether, in her absence, he takes flight. 

The familiar silhouette of one 1967 Chevrolet Impala is almost indistinguishable from the night sky, if not for the gleam of street-lamps off the polished metal belying an impression of the sun. 

The moon is hidden tonight, as are the multitudinous stars of this galaxy - a favourite among many Angels throughout the eons. However, given the events of recent times, Castiel suspects he may be one of few Angels who prefer it over other galactic creations primarily for its housing of one particular solar system, which bears one particular planet, upon which a very special species makes its home. 

Dean is gone. 

The bar seems his likely destination, and if Castiel concentrates, allowing his Grace to reach out and survey the atmosphere.. yes. He can feel him near: warm and alive, though not at peace. He has never known what it is to feel Dean at peace in the mortal realm. There was a singular moment - fleeting and seeming so long ago, now - when his Grace touched Dean's soul raw and exposed; it seized his fear, incentivised Dean to feel safe, to trust in Castiel's intentions.

It was something akin to peace, perhaps relief. At the time, Castiel had thought it might be resignation to God's plan. But as he came to know Dean, he came to interpret that feeling as something intensely personal and not at all connected to The Grand Plan. 

Perhaps, once Castiel completes his mission, once he stops Raphael and prevents the Apocalypse for all good, Dean will know peace. He deserves that much. He deserves much more. 

The inside of the Impala is cool. Not as cold as the night air outside, but enough that Dean wouldn't be comfortable if he were to emerge from the bar this instant. Castiel places a hand on the dashboard, and while the engine remains silent, the interior comes alive in light and sound and air-ventilated warmth. 

The music is not familiar, despite having listened through much of Dean's collection during his time with the Winchesters. Over the past year Castiel has not regretted safeguarding Dean's chance for peace, his life away from supernatural beings and the chaos and destruction they wrought. Although, he will admit to a certain discernible ache for their foregone time together; on the road within this now-familiar vehicle, or in whatever capacity Dean would have allowed, in any way that he might have needed Castiel's help. 

The war in Heaven is not going well, despite Rachel's assurances. Without weapons at their disposal, Raphael's forces will soon diminish their own and all will suffer because of Castiel's failing. Which is precisely why he cannot fail.

Castiel always knew the chance of defeating an Archangel on his own was impossible, and therefore anything that could afford him victory in this war - to end the graceshed, to save Humanity, and the Earth, and Heaven from itself - then he must take it. 

But even against all reason, all dangers considered, there are times when Castiel, too, does want for a friend.

For one friend, in particular. 

..been higher than stardust 

I've been seen upon the sun 

I used to count in millions then 

But now I only count in one 

Come on, join the traveler 

If you got nowhere to go 

Hang your head and take my hand 

It's the only road I know.. 

If only Castiel could pray to Dean. 

..Yeah, Lonely is the word 

Got to be the saddest song I ever heard.. 

But the want of a friend is selfish, dangerous. 

Drawing Dean into the skirmish of Angels would further remove him from any chance at peace. And that, Castiel decides, is not worth the win. Even if Dean wants to help, he cannot allow it. He must keep Dean safe, and far away from the destructive reach of Heaven's current state. 

..Yeah, Lonely is the name 

Maybe life's a losing game. 

[scope-dogg]

Invincible Robot Tryder G7: Final Thoughts

This was one of the series in the SRW T still-to-watch list that I wasn’t especially looking forward to. A lot of these old super robot shows tend to be really dated both in terms of plot and presentation, and this one in particular only has one fansub available with that being of dubious quality. However, while the subs aren’t good and the show does stick to a very formulaic episode structure like a lot of similar shows, I actually thought it had a lot of things going for it, including surprisingly strong art and animation by the standards of its time and a charming cast of characters, and above all else themes and ideas that were ahead of their time in many ways.

The plot setup is that mankind has entered a true space age and has expanded its industries into the solar system - however, a threat to this age of plenty has revealed itself in the form of the Robot Empire, a race of androids from beyond the stars who now seek to enslave the Earth. The first and last effective line of defence against their incursion is the fighting robot Tryder G7, owned by the Takeo General Company, who take on contracts from the Earth’s space forces to fight off the Megarobots sent to destroy mankind’s vulnerable installations. The catch is that the Takeo General Company is a small family company that’s now run by 11-year-old Watta Takeo, who has taken up the reigns as CEO and Tryder’s pilot following the death of his father. Watta’s daily struggles as a young man and Takeo General’s struggle to keep afloat are challenges just as great as any that an alien war robot can bring.

The entire aspect of the namesake robot being a corporate asset that needed to budgeted and accounted for was something I thought was more or less unique to 1997′s Dai-Guard, but this did it a lot earlier. In addition to that, this is a series with a child protagonist that was really well realised, with realistic little-kid problems, like butting heads with his rich asshole classmate, trying to avoid the ire of strict teachers, helping out his mother and two siblings, and still trying to find time to have a nice time with his friends between everything else. With that said, while he could occasionally be a bit of a brat he still has a strong sense of duty to his friends and family, to the company he now technically runs, and to the people he’s charged with protecting, and he ended up being a protagonist you want to root for, not only in battle but in his private life. In fact, that’s almost the chief focus of the series, with the threat of the Robot Empire almost playing out entirely in the background. While the viewer gets shown what they’re up to and gets to understand the scope of their plans, to Watta they’re just a job to do and a contract to fulfil. The battles that take place are arguably more important as life lessons, with the things he learns in them often being applicable to whatever personal struggle he’s dealing in that episode (although, sometimes the reverse is true.) Both this slice-of-life aspect and the practical take on piloting a super robot would have been something I would have expected from a more modern series, not a vintage super robot series from 1980.

The supporting cast are another great aspect of the show. Each of the characters that Watta interacts with on a daily basis are all really distinct characters, whether it’s his friends, teachers, or Takeo General’s staff - the standout was probably Kakikoji, the company director, a mustachioed 65-year old with 14 kids, who always comes charging in on his bicycle to fetch the boss whenever a new contract comes in and starts sweating bullets whenever anything happens on a mission that might cut into the already tight profit margins. On the other side of the coin, the villains from the Robot Empire are a colourful and dysfunctional bunch as well, with each new commander brought in to try and save their failing campaign being more ridiculous than the last. Their fighting robots were really distinctive and imaginatively designed as well, and it was fun to watch Tryder smash them up. The chief mechanical designer on this show was Kunio Okawara, who’s known for designing a ton of famous mecha like the original Gundam, the Scopedog, Gaogaigar and many more besides, and I think his work here stands up with some of those, both for Tryder and its adversaries. The animation work is also pretty solid as well, at least by the standards of its time - I thought it easily surpassed the animation work of contemporary Sunrise mecha shows like Gundam and Zambot 3 by quite a way, though that’s tempered by the use of a lot of stock footage - they use the same animation for Tryder launching and its Bird Attack finisher in virtually every episode, probably killing a good two or three minutes of episode run time each time.

With all that said, I have to address the elephant in the room, those being the subs. They’re not that bad... but they’re certainly not good either. It looks like they worked from the Italian sub of the show, adding another layer of translation, and in other places they just guessed. They’re never so far off the mark that you can’t tell what’s going on, but it’s not strange for you to hear a line of dialogue, look at the subs, and conclude “whatever they just said, it definitely wasn’t that,” even if your knowledge of Japanese is the very rudimentary sort that you pick up by just watching lots of subbed anime. I can’t complain too loudly, because at the end of the day it was a fansub and it beats having no subs at all, but it definitely makes it tougher for me to recommend people watch this, unless you’re fluent in Japanese. The subs aren’t even particularly good in English either, with a lot of odd language and screwed up grammar, though it never really reached the point of incomprehensibility.

With all that said, I still do think this is a recommendation from me, even with the bad subs. Again, I burned through 50 episodes in about a week, and not just because I’m trying to work through a list of shows to watch, it was a genuinely enjoyable time. If I had to recommend an old super robot show, it’s probably still be this one rather than Zambot 3 or Combattler V. Maybe one day I’ll get round to Daitarn, Voltes or another one that trumps this one, but for now, this is my favourite.

As for how this show will play out in SRW T, I think it’s a good addition that makes sense and adds some variety in the cast, and Watta and Tryder are already SRW veterans anyway so I’m sure they’ll be implemented well. It’s a little disconcerting that the Robot Empire and their Megarobots have been absent from the trailers so far, as I think it’d be a shame not to include some of the more distinctive designs as enemies to fight. However, even if they’re absent from the final game, I think Watta and the Takeo General staff will be colourful additions to the roster by themselves - not to mention that there are parallels with the Tiranade, this game’s original, and the VTX corporation that owns it.

Anyway, speaking of corporate robots and crabstick subs, it’s time to move down the line to the next show. This one’s been one I’ve been wating to give the green signal to for a long time, and I’m hoping I can work through it at the same express pace.

[welcometothepenumbra]

JUNO STEEL AND THE DRAGON’S DEN (PART ONE)

SOUND: RAIN. TRAIN ARRIVES, CREAKS TO A STOP. DOOR CLANKS OPEN.

CONDUCTOR: Ah, good evening, Traveler. And welcome… to The Penumbra. Take your seat, please, take your seat.

MUSIC: STARTS.

SOUND: DOOR CLANKS SHUT.

The junction lies just ahead, Traveler. If you'll allow me just a moment.

SOUND: TRAIN WHISTLE.

(CHUCKLES) Well, next stop? Hyperion City.

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING.

The Proctor’s final words have haunted Detective Steel ever since she died on her devious riddle. “A place of heroes, as far as the stars but as close as the heart of every child.” And apparently, the home of Ramses O’Flaherty, in some way. But where is that home, you ask? Well, Detective Steel is just about to find out. It’s unfortunate that he didn’t do earlier – if he had, perhaps nobody would have had to die.

SOUND: TRAIN BRAKES. DOOR CLANKS OPEN, RAIN.

Our next stop: Juno Steel and the Dragon’s Den.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

***

MUSIC: STARTS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): An election makes a lot of noise – and, after months of the rallies and speeches and the fights in the street, it’s nice to escape to the quiet of the Martian desert for a while. Because the history of politics in Hyperion City is loud: a bunch of corporations in a bidding war over the Mayor’s office, with enough money changing hands that it’s not a question of whether your candidate’s in some big corporation’s pocket, just – whether this pocket is cozier than the last one.

My name’s Juno Steel. I’m a private eye, and I never thought I’d be helping one of those corporations’ candidates win, but… Ramses O’Flaherty seems like the first politician in a century who might care about people more than profit margins.

And even if he is funded by Northstar Entertainment, a company that mostly sells kids’ movies and cheap T-shirts? Compared to his competition, Ramses sounds like a saint.

VOICE (FROM RADIO): In a move that analysts have been calling “inevitable,” Nadia Bellevue announced this morning that she will be dropping out of the Hyperion City mayoral race, citing poor polls and a drop in Armada Firearms and Fine Liquors’ stock price over the last fiscal quarter. That leaves only Ramses O’Flaherty and current mayor Pilot Pereyra on the ballot when the citizens of Hyperion vote just five weeks from today. Mayor Pereyra had this to say about their opponent:

PILOT PEREYRA (FROM RADIO): Ramses who? (LAUGHS) Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard of Ramses. And I mean, he seems like a good guy. You don’t get as far as he has, doing all that philanthropy, and kids’ movies, and whatever without having some good rub off on you. And I respect that, to a point.

RITA: Ooooooh, Mista Steel, are we there yet? I can’t wait another second!

JUNO: Shh! I’m tryin’ to listen!

MUSIC: ENDS.

PEREYRA: But the fact is that Hyperion’s a tough town, and it needs a firm hand. And all this junk I keep hearing about police reform, criminal rehabilitation? We don’t have time for that. In a city this covered in crime, we need the HCPD more than ever, and we need someone who knows what they’re doing more than ever. So, leave it to the Pilot, eh? I’ve gotten us this far, haven’t I?

RITA: Mista Steeeeel? Are we there yet? Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet—

PEREYRA (IN BACKGROUND): And let me tell you, guys like Ramses… they think they know everything.

JUNO: How the hell am I supposed to answer that? I don’t even know where we’re going!

PEREYRA (IN BACKGROUND): But as soon as it gets time to actually do something?

RITA: Oh come on, that riddle was so easy, boss! You gotta know!

PEREYRA (IN BACKGROUND): All that talk shows exactly what it was: just talk.

JUNO: Hey, driver? Just turn the damn radio off. My secretary’s decided she’s all the audio entertainment I need.

SOUND: RADIO CLICKS OFF.

Why did you come along, again? You have the day off, Rita.

RITA: And that’s why I came! You’d understand if you’d solved the riddle, boss. It’s so easy: “A place in the heart of every child”? You don’t have to be a detective to solve that.

JUNO: Brain’s full of about six hundred other mysteries, Rita. Who’s tryin’ to kill off Ramses O’Flaherty, for example. So just knock it off, and tell me where—

RITA: Nuh-uh-uh, no way, boss. I ain’t tellin’ you until you figure it out yourself– WHOAMYGOD WE’RE ALMOST THERE!

JUNO: Just tell me where we’re going!

RITA: I can’t take another second boss I feel like I’m gonna burst! Just figure it out already!

JUNO: Is that a gate?

RITA: C’mon, I’m gonna EXPLODE! Pleaeaeaeaease?

JUNO: “Northstar presents”– what the hell?

RITA: It’s Polaris Park boss! Oh gosh oh gosh I can’t wait! I’m so excited!!!

JUNO: Polaris… that Northstar amusement park?

RITA: Mista Steel, you gotta be kiddin’ me! Did someone kill all’a the magic inside’a you or somethin’?

JUNO: Yes.

RITA: Polaris Park! The Place That Fun Calls Home, TM! You gotta know about Polaris Park!

JUNO: I try not to pay too much attention to Northstar movies, Rita.

RITA: Act tough all you want, boss; they might be kids’ stories, but they got all kinds’a things for adults, like jokes, and deep themes, and sometimes advice, like how to kill an evil goat-wizard if you meet one and—

JUNO: Not kids’ stories. Just Northstar. (SIGHS) Let’s get this over with.

RITA: Boss? Is everything—

SOUND: CAR DOOR OPENS. CARNIVAL NOISES IN BACKGROUND.

(GASPS) We���re here we’re here we’re here we’re here!!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Polaris Park was, I’ll admit, a masterpiece. The greatest minds in the solar system had come together to build ‘The Place That Fun Calls Home, TM,’ and the faces of the people we passed said they’d succeeded. They were smiling, every one of them, kids clambering all over their parents with sticky fingers and… stickier voices.

It made my stomach turn. Places like this have always given me the creeps. What people forget is that manipulation is always manipulation, whether you’re being duped into a big debt or a big smile.

RITA: Oh, oh! There’s Orion’s Tower, they sell all kinds’a belts, Mista Steel – also insurance for some reason – and that ride is the Frozen Spinner, they make you put on real mittens before you get on and everything, and that’s—

JUNO (NARRATOR): We walked down the park’s main drag, surrounded on all sides by bright buildings and cartoon robots and foot-long ice cream bars. I was ready to go home by the fourth step in.

That wasn’t on the menu, though. Before we left the parking lot, our driver gave me an entry pass and a letter which said, in Ramses’ rushed handwriting: “Keep an eye out for Lorenzo Vega.”

Whoever the hell that was. Thanks a lot, O’Flaherty. Just tryin’ to save your life over here, no big deal, really.

RITA: I wanna go on a ride! No! I wanna have a hot dog! No! I wanna go on two rides, and have two hot dogs, just for me!

JUNO: Rita, we’re here to work.

RITA: Come ooooooooon, boss! What job could you possibly have to do here?

JUNO: That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Ramses gets a lot of his campaign funds from Northstar. If someone wanted to really hit him where it hurts, they could try to strike here… or dig up some dirt here, at least. Security Office might not be a bad place to start.

RITA: Well… if Ramses sent you here, that must mean security ain’t caught ‘em yet, whoever they are. We probably won’t find anything there.

JUNO: Not a bad point. Might be worth snooping around a little on our own first.

RITA: And while we’re at it, I was just thinkin’… a good place to snoop… might be… on… a ride?

JUNO: You’re really not gonna drop this, are you?

RITA: Never.

JUNO: Alright, alright. One ride. Then we get to work—

RITA: Got it Mista Steel okay thanks byeeeeeee!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

JUNO: Rita! …Lousy theme park. Lousy rides…

JUNO (NARRATOR): At the end of the street stood a mountain. A big, red, craggy thing with molten lava holograms flowing down its sides. It was the centerpiece of Polaris Park, and everyone on Mars knew what it was called.

RITA: Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak.

Mista Steel, I’m gonna ride that ride six hundred times today.

JUNO: Good luck with that. Sign over here says it’s closed for repairs.

RITA: What over what says it’s WHAT?!

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

Oh, you gotta be kiddin’ me, it can’t be closed! Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak is the whole reason to go to Polaris Park! It’s got everything, Mista Steel, music and big drops and real fast and everyone’s favorite chainmail warrior Andromeda and—

SOUND: CROWD SCREAMS.

JUNO: That’s coming from the Dragon’s Peak, isn’t it?

RITA: Y– yeah. But maybe, it– maybe it’s just some people havin’ fun, y’know? Screamin’ on the rollercoaster and—

SOUND: SEVERAL SETS OF RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

VOICE 1: Oh God, it’s horrible, it’s horrible! They’re all dead!

JUNO: Sounds real fun. Rita?

RITA: I’m comin’, boss!

JUNO (NARRATOR): I shoved us through the crowd, up the long line to the Dragon’s Peak, until it all stopped at a wall of security two guards thick. The park cops had big grins across their faces, but the smiles were all a little too uniform and a little too green to be real. Whatever they were keeping us from wasn’t gonna be pretty.

VOICE 2: I’m so sorry, sir, but you can’t come through here.

JUNO: Pretty sure I could if you’d get that club out of my gut.

RITA: Mista Steel…

VOICE 2: No, I mean, um… visitors do not have access—

JUNO: I work for your boss. Let me through.

VOICE 2: I’m… fairly certain that I work for my boss?

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

VOICE 3: Is there a problem over here?

VOICE 2: Uhhh… I… uhhhhh…

JUNO: No problem, I was just giving Officer Dental-Plan over here some orders from the top. Who are you?

VOICE 3: The top.

JUNO (NARRATOR): The woman in front of me was equal parts strong jaw, sharp eyes, and grit. Her badge said ‘Chief of Security,’ her eyes said that she didn’t have time for this, and her smile said that Northstar customer service training really was the best on Mars. The only times people smile that genuinely at me are right before they hit me.

But she didn’t. Instead she turned to her toadie and asked:

VOICE 3: Who is this guy and why isn’t he out of my park yet?

JUNO: Ramses O’Flaherty sent me. I have a hall pass, I promise.

SOUND: PAPER RUSTLING.

VOICE 3: Ramses?

(SIGHS) Of course he did. Let him through, Rick.

VOICE 2 (RICK): But—

VOICE 3: Did I ask?

RICK: Of… course not.

Have a fun-filled day.

JUNO: You don’t sound so happy to see us, Chief.

VOICE 3: Simple reason for that. I’m not.

My name’s Yasmin Swift. I’m chief of security here at Polaris Park.

JUNO: Juno Steel. And this is my secretary, Rita—

RITA: (HIGH-PITCHED GASPING)

JUNO: Who’s… maybe… deflating?

RITA: Why, hello there, Ms. Swift. I like coffee, and squid cream.

JUNO: Rita, what the hell—?

VOICE 3 (YASMIN SWIFT): Breakfast, huh? I’m more of a dinner gal myself.

RITA: (GIGGLING) Oh, Yasmin!

SWIFT: I’m sorry to rain on your day at the park, but, Ramses had pretty bad timing, sending you here this morning. We’ve had a little bit of an… accident. Come on, I’ll show you.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

RITA: (GIGGLING)

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO: …Rita? …What was that?

RITA: She’s preeeeeetty.

JUNO: (SIGHS) I don’t have time for this. I do not have time for this. Come on.

RITA: (GIGGLING)

SOUND: DOOR CLOSES. CARNIVAL NOISES FADE.

JUNO: (SNIFFS) The hell is that smell? I thought all the food carts were back on the main path, but… it smells like jerky or something in here.

SWIFT: Yeah, about that. If you’re at all squeamish, I’m gonna recommend you close your eyes now.

JUNO: Oh, no.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

RITA: OH MY GOSH, THOSE POOR PEOPLE GOT COOKED!

JUNO (NARRATOR): We found them in the loading area for the ride, sitting in a cart on a track facing a dark tunnel. The cart was looking nice and toasted around the edges, and inside it sat three charbroiled shapes that probably used to be people.

SWIFT: I’m guessing this isn’t how you expected to spend your day.

JUNO: I generally try to assume the worst, but somehow the galaxy keeps finding ways to surprise me.

RITA: Who are those people? We gotta help ‘em, don’t we?

SWIFT: That’s sweet, doll, but I think they’re a little past help. This was bound to happen one day. I’ve been saying that to Vega for years.

RITA: Oh, it’s just too horrible! Somebody hold me!

JUNO: Oof!

RITA: (MUTTERING) Not you, boss!

JUNO: Bound to happen, you said?

SWIFT: You know anything about this ride, Juno?

RITA: No, he doesn’t. Mista Steel said all the magic’s dead inside of him.

JUNO: Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak is a roller coaster that tells a story about Chainmail Warrior Andromeda trying to find her way home through Lion Village, has to go through Draco’s mountain for some reason, almost gets roasted, doesn’t end up going home. Just like all her other stories.

RITA: Wha—? But you said– you didn’t know anything about it—

JUNO: I said I didn’t want to know anything about Northstar’s junk. But sometimes not wanting to listen to stuff just makes you listen harder. No offense, Swift.

SWIFT: Hey, to each their own. We don’t all have to enjoy the story, even if it is a modern classic and you’re a moron for not liking it. Want to take a guess where the barbecue went down? Because I have a theory or two.

JUNO: I’m guessing the part where Andromeda gets almost-roasted dropped a word.

SWIFT: The ride’s needed repairs for years, if you ask me. The carts on this thing barely outpace the fire by half a second. All it’d take is for one of the brakes to flip early and, boom. Instant fricassee.

JUNO: Why was anyone on it if the ride was closed, though?

SWIFT: One of the carts started acting up yesterday, so I shut the whole thing down this morning, sent the engineers in, and then… this happened. On their test ride, I’d guess. With a bunch of guests watching from the line, too.

RITA: There are people who get to test roller coasters for their jobs?! Lucky!

JUNO: Rita, are we even looking at the same crime scene right now?

SWIFT: Crime scene? Honestly, Juno, negligence is the only crime I’m seeing here. (SIGHS) Why don’t you take in the park for a little while and I’ll find you later? HQ’s gonna have me behind red tape for a long time. They didn’t like me shutting down the ride for a few hours this morning, and I doubt they’ll like closing it for good.

RITA: You’re closing the Dragon’s Peak?! You can’t do that! That’s the reason everyone comes to Polaris Park! And also I never got to ride it!

SWIFT: Security’s got to be my number one concern, doll. Should’ve shut this ride down years ago.

SOUND: MECHANICAL, RHYTHMIC NOISES.

VOICE 4: Over my soggy corpse, Yasmin.

JUNO (NARRATOR): There was a man walking toward us on two metal legs ending in rusty boots, and his nametag said “Doctor Lorenzo Vega, Head of Resmirks and Developgrins.” Despite the title, he looked like he hadn’t smiled in about a century: age and anger had carved deep enough wrinkles into his face that I could barely make out his eyes, but from what I could see they looked about as greasy and mean as the rest of him.

VOICE 4 (LORENZO VEGA): Yasmin. I see your attempted murder continues apace.

RITA: Murder?! Not my Yasmin!

SWIFT: He doesn’t mean the engineers, doll.

VEGA: I don’t. If anyone mourns my staff it will be their own fault for leaving someone behind to mourn them. Marriage, children, friends… the Northstar work ethic has rotted off the bone. No, it’s not my staff I’m concerned about. Sir, I’d like you to arrest this woman, for the attempted murder of Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak.

JUNO: That’s, uh… He knows you can’t murder something that’s not alive, right?

VEGA: For all of Polaris Park, then.

JUNO: Yeah, also, not alive. You… a little confused, doctor?

VEGA: Perhaps not murder, in that case. But much is on the line here, detective. My life’s work, and probably someone else’s, somewhere, if you care about that kind of thing. This park won’t last a month without that ride.

SWIFT: Maybe so, doctor, but the park doesn’t stand much of a chance if its star attraction’s deep-frying guests, either.

VEGA: You’d best zip up your ego, Yasmin. Your ignorance is showing.

JUNO & RITA: (IN UNISON) Eww.

VEGA: The Dragon’s Peak could not have burned my engineers for one very simple reason: there is no fire on this ride.

SWIFT: I hope you’ll give Dr. Vega the benefit of the doubt here, Juno. This might not be very Northstar behavior he’s demonstrating, but he’s a good guy at heart. Probably. If you’re willing to dig down a few hundred meters.

VEGA: Attempting to turn them against me. It won’t work for two reasons, Yasmin. First: I am naturally charismatic, and second: Ramses sent these two for me.

JUNO: Ramse– what?

VEGA: I received the message earlier – direct orders that I’d receive a private investigator to do whatever I say for one full day. Ramses spoils me so. Now tell me: what is your name?

JUNO: You expect me to buy that Ramses gave me to you without even telling you my name?

VEGA: I don’t need you to buy it, detective. Only lease it. (CHUCKLES)

JUNO: What the hell are you even saying?

SWIFT: Look, do you have those orders on you, Vega?

VEGA: Of course not. Do you carry all of your mail everywhere you go?

RITA: I mean, it should all fit on your comms pretty easily—

JUNO: —yeah, Swift, he actually has a pretty good point.

RITA: Oh. Nevermind. Forgot who he was talkin’ to.

VEGA: These deaths cannot have been caused by a malfunction, because the Dragon’s Peak couldn’t burn a fly, and I should know: I built it. Sabotage, detective. This must be sabotage. And you are going to prove it.

JUNO: Sabotage… that’s a pretty serious claim. Should be worth looking into, Swift.

RITA: Really, boss?

SWIFT: Worth looking into? We’ll see about that. Hey, doctor? Can you prove the ride doesn’t generate real fire? Do you have the plans anywhere?

VEGA: Of course I do. And it’s written into the most reliable storage available to humankind.

RITA: Oh, I always wanted to see the plans to the ride! Might be some nice readin’ for bedtime or snacktime or—

VEGA: My cranial fluid.

RITA: Actually nevermind, not gonna take that anywhere near my bed or snacks.

VEGA: I have the plans memorized. In here, no prying eyes can see them.

SWIFT: Welcome to our argument for the past two years, Juno. I say this is a deathtrap; Vega says it isn’t. I try to close it down; Vega tattles to the managers of Polaris Park, they have a tantrum about ticket sales, and then the thing’s back on its rails again. This could’ve been avoided. It could’ve been avoided twenty times over.

JUNO: But, I mean… come on, doc. You can’t really expect us to just take your word for it, right?

VEGA: I can expect that, actually… but I’m beginning to suspect I’ll be disappointed if I do.

(GRUNTS) There’s one other place I stored the plans for the ride: in its brain. Follow me.

SOUND: MECHANICAL STEPS.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Vega led us over to a monitor on a stand overlooking the ride’s track. He flicked the monitor awake, tapped out a hundred-digit password in a second and a half, and we were in.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEPS.

VEGA: The full ride is too complicated for any human mind other than my own to control it, so I designed it to handle all its own functions. Completely automated. The computer has uplinks throughout the track that my engineers can use to access and interact with all data gathered while the ride runs: power levels, terminal activation logs, security feeds of every room, roaming snack bar—

JUNO: Wait, wait, hang on. What? You have security footage for every room in this ride?

SWIFT: Yeah, doctor. This is the first I’m hearing of it, too.

VEGA: The security footage wouldn’t be very secure if I gave it out to every Tom, Dick, and Yasmin who asked for it.

SWIFT: I’m your Chief of Security!

VEGA: Then I’m sure I told you at some point. I don’t bother remembering details like that.

SWIFT: If I knew that, do you really think I’d have waited this long to shut down your stupid ride?

JUNO: Just bring up the footage already, doc. If you’re so sure the ride’s innocent, your video should prove it.

VEGA: (SIGHS)

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKING.

I’ll have you know that the last time someone ordered me around like that, they died.

RITA: You– killed someone?!

VEGA: Of course not. The two events were unrelated. It just means I have terrible associations with being told what to do that you should be sensitive to.

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEP.

What? The footage!

SWIFT: What is it now?

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEPS.

VEGA: The data! It’s– it’s disappearing!

JUNO: Disappearing?

SOUND: MORE BEEPS.

VEGA: Self-deleting! This is impossible! My baby! My giant, metal, highly-intelligent baby!

JUNO: How long has this been going on?

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKING.

VEGA: How should I know? I don’t check! If it’s flawless, there’s no point in checking, because there are no flaws to check for!

SWIFT: Well, what do you call this, then?

SOUND: BEEP.

RITA: It looks like it just ate another video.

SOUND: BEEP.

And that musta been dessert.

VEGA: It’s gone. The schematics, all the footage from the past ride, and assorted footage from the past week. Gone.

SWIFT: Deleted? And you didn’t even do anything?

VEGA: What do you think I was doing?

SWIFT: Deleting it, maybe. Covering your precious baby’s tracks.

VEGA: You—!

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKING. MACHINE POWERING DOWN.

JUNO: What are you doing now?

VEGA: Shutting down the ride.

There. Everything but the audio cues and lighting, off. And now, Detective Whoever-you-are, you’re going to go in there and figure out who’s harmed my creation. Who has attempted to murder Andromeda and the Dragon’s Peak!

RITA: He… is?

VEGA: Ramses gave orders that you are do to whatever I say, didn’t he?

JUNO: I don’t know. Did he?

SWIFT: Hang on, doctor. If you think I’m going to let anyone run an investigation in my park without my say-so—

VEGA: Then you go with him. Someone has to take care of my ride. I don’t care who.

JUNO (NARRATOR): I remembered that letter that Ramses’s driver had given me: “Keep an eye out for Lorenzo Vega.”

If Ramses was suspicious of Vega, this might be the only chance I had to figure out why. Especially if he was trying to push the blame onto someone else.

SWIFT: I’m sure Detective Steel has better things to do than—

JUNO: I’ll go along. Rita, you stay out here and enjoy the park.

RITA: Nuh-uh, boss! If you think I’m lettin’ you take a behind-the-scenes tour without me, you’ve got another thing comin’!

JUNO: Rita—

RITA: No buts!

Now come on, Yaaaaasmiiiiin. Do you wanna show me all the spookiest parts of the ride?

SWIFT: If… that’s what we’re doing, I guess I don’t mind doing it with you.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.

Y’know, you don’t have to hold my hand so tight, doll…

RITA: (GIGGLES) Yeah, I do.

SOUND: METAL STEPS.

VEGA: Just a minute before you go, detective.

JUNO: Yeah, yeah, you want me to keep an eye on her. I heard you the first time.

VEGA: It’s not that. What did she just call you? Detective Steel, was it?

JUNO: Juno Steel, private eye. Finding it kinda hard to believe Ramses didn’t tell you that.

VEGA: He did… it just didn’t sound familiar until I’d heard it.

JUNO: Y’don’t say.

VEGA: Steel… why does that sound familiar…?

JUNO: Uh… probably because you build your rides with it?

VEGA: No, no, that isn’t it. I was thinking about that name just this morning… but why?

JUNO: Okay, well, have fun figuring that out, doc. I’m gonna go get murdered by your ride now. Bye.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS.

VEGA: (DISTANT) Steel… hmmm… Juno Steel…

JUNO (NARRATOR): We walked along the tracks for a while because riding the cart seemed dangerous. After all, the last couple of people to do that were currently being scraped out of their seats with a spatula. After walking through the first tunnel, we found ourselves, weirdly, outside – in a big green plain, surrounded by stone huts and yawning lions lounging in the grass.

SOUND: DISTANT ROARS.

RITA: Oh my gosh, look at all this stuff! It’s gonna take forever to explore all this! Hold my hand, Yasmin, I’m worried I’m gonna get lost!

SWIFT: I’m already holding your hand.

SOUND: TRUMPET BLARING FROM SPEAKERS.

RITA: (GASPS) What was that?!

SWIFT: Just the ride going through its cycles. Vega said he left the audio on – he’ll take any chance to show off.

NARRATOR VOICE (OVER SPEAKERS): And so, after years of searching for a way back home to Polaris, Andromeda the Chainmail Warrior found herself in the Lion Village, where it was said a portal to her home opened once every thousand years.

SWIFT: If we want to get onto the main track without a cart, you’re going to need a retinal scan from a high-ranking employee. Just give me a second.

JUNO: Rita, what’s your read on Vega?

RITA: Huh? Oh, I ain’t barely read any of him, boss. I been a little distracted today. (GIGGLES)

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEPS.

JUNO: Yeah, I can tell. Come on, doesn’t it seem a little convenient to you?

RITA: Hmmm?

JUNO: Vega gets warned for years that someone’s gonna die on this ride; then, someone dies on this ride, and who does he send into the deathtrap but the people sent to watch him, and, the woman that’s been trying to shut him down for years? This is gonna be dangerous… whatever roasted those engineers could get us too, and with him at the controls, this one might not be an accident.

Rita, are you even listening?

RITA: I mean, yeah, it seems convenient, boss. But you’re the detective and this is my day off, so you figure it out, alright?

JUNO: (GROWLS)

SOUND: BEEP.

SWIFT: Alright, we’re in. Should be the last lock.

SOUND: MECHANICAL DOOR CREAKS OPEN.

NARRATOR: And so, after years of searching for a way back home to Polaris, Andromeda the Chainmail Warrior—

JUNO (NARRATOR): The door led us into one of the lion’s huts. The lion it belonged to was musclebound and gray-maned and sitting on his haunches next to everyone’s favorite chainmail warrior, Andromeda.

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): —found herself in the Lion Village, where it was said a portal to her home opened once every thousand years.

RITA: (GASPS) Andromeda!

NARRATOR: “Andromeda!” said Leo, the lion-chief. “Our portal opens in one short hour, and then only for a few minutes. But if you want to use it, you will have to pay. On that peak lives the dragon, Draco, with all of his treasure. Bring me a treasure from Draco’s hoard, and you will have your way home!”

RITA: She’s real! I always knew she was real! Mom said, and Mista Steel said, and even I said sometimes – but I always knew, Andromeda was real, even when I knew that was impossible, and, and, and, and—

JUNO: Real, huh?

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BUZZING.

RITA: Oh. It’s a hologram. I knew that. Mostly.

SWIFT: Everything here’s a combination of robotics, practical effects, and holograms, doll. Here, touch Chief Leo if you want. A mechanical skeleton covered in real lion fur, grown in a real lab.

RITA: Wow, he’s so soft. Can we see him roar? And maybe pounce on Mista Steel?

SWIFT: You can’t turn on the robotics without turning on the carts, too: they run on the same power source.

JUNO: Sounds and lights on the same breaker? Robots and carts– this doesn’t exactly sound up to code.

RITA: I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, boss, that’s basically how I got the office hooked up.

SWIFT: I think being unsafe is part of the thrill for Vega. He’s good with holograms, but he doesn’t like them. He says they’re cheating. Anything safe is cheating with that guy.

Hope you’ve got hiking shoes on: this next part’s supposed to be the mountain, and the doctor went for authenticity.

SOUND: GATE CREAKS OPEN.

RITA: Ohh, it’s so dark and spooky in here – how do we know where to go?

SWIFT: I haven’t been on these tracks since my first trainings, but I’ve ridden it enough times to know the way. Just stick close to me, sweetheart, and you’ll be fine.

RITA: Hmmmmmmm.

NARRATOR: Andromeda said:

ANDROMEDA: You’re making a terrible mistake, Leo. Anger Draco, and all the lions will pay for it.

NARRATOR: But Chief Leo only laughed, and called her a fool. And so Andromeda climbed the mountain with a heavy heart.

JUNO: So what’s up with you and Vega, anyway? Hell of a feud the two of you got going on.

SWIFT: How do you mean?

JUNO: I know you’ve got safety reasons for wanting this tilt-a-whirl closed, but he seems to think it’s personal. Granted, he seems to think most things are personal, but still…

SWIFT: Just… different eras of Northstar butting heads. Call it a family squabble.

Vega’s old school – from back in the days when Northstar was just a little movie studio over in Hyperion City. Used to work on building fancy new cameras, now he works on ways to shoot people through a block of ice without hurting the ice. Back then, Northstar was cutthroat: scrappy little movie studio with scrappy little ideas. Great tech, great talent, but no investors. It meant everyone who worked there was… out for blood.

JUNO: And they had plenty of ways to get it, I hear.

SWIFT: Yeah, actually. How did you—

JUNO: —doesn’t matter. You said you’re different. What’s the new era of Northstar like?

RITA: Yeah, Yasmin! Tell us aaaaaall about you. Every teensy weensy little thing.

SWIFT: Either of you have any kids?

JUNO: Eugh.

RITA: No, but I’m… very suggestible.

SWIFT: Well, I do. A little lady, only five years old. Too young to remember the war. Too young to remember all the stuff humanity showed it could do to itself. And when I think about her growing up in a galaxy capable of all that… (SIGHS) Let me just put it this way: the old Northstar was all about making something great. But now? Most of us now… we just want to make something good. Something that the kids can look up to. Heroes that’ll risk it all for what actually matters… not some dumb new camera.

JUNO: You sound like Ramses now.

SWIFT: O’Flaherty might be an old-timer, but I always felt like he was one of us. (CHUCKLES) Call me a sap if you want, but… I think my Esta’s better off with Andromeda around. And I’d do anything for her.

RITA: That’s so beautiful and perfect.

SWIFT: Definitely makes getting up for work a little easier. It’s leaving her in the morning that’s the hard part.

(CLEARS THROAT) Uh, just be ready. Next part gets a little loud.

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES OPEN.

NARRATOR: Then, at long last, Andromeda arrived at the Dragon’s Peak!

SOUND: THUNDERCLAP, RAIN.

RITA: Ahh!! What was that?!

JUNO: It’s just the stupid ride.

SWIFT: The noise was, but… did either of you see that?

JUNO: See what?

SWIFT: In the lightning, that—

SOUND: THUNDER.

NARRATOR: Then, at long last—

SWIFT: There’s someone up by Draco’s lair!

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): —Andromeda arrived—

JUNO: What? I don’t see anything—

RITA: Yasmin, save me!

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): —at the Dragon’s Peak!

SWIFT: You two, keep up with me! If someone really is sabotaging my park, I’m not gonna let them get away with it!

SOUND: RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.

JUNO: Swift! Swift!!

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): Then, at long last—

SOUND: THUNDER.

NARRATOR (IN BACKGROUND): —Andromeda arrived at the Dragon’s Peak!

JUNO: Yeah, yeah, we get it! Come on, Rita, let’s go!

RITA: Okay, boss!

JUNO (NARRATOR): While we ran, I held onto Rita as best I could, but I couldn’t save her from her own clumsy feet…

RITA: Oh!

JUNO (NARRATOR): …or, uh, mine.

JUNO: Oof!

RITA: Get offa me, Mista Steel, get offa me! I wanted this day to go like this with someone but it sure ain’t you!

JUNO: Damn it, where did Swift go?

RITA: That’s what I said! She was followin’ the tracks, so hurry, boss, hurry!

JUNO & RITA: (PANTING)

JUNO (NARRATOR): So we ran up the rest of the way into the Dragon’s Peak. A set of big stone doors parted, and a set of big glowing eyes stared down at us.

SOUND: HEAVY SCRAPING.

NARRATOR: And there, in all his rage and glory, stood Draco, the mighty dragon!

RITA: OH NO OH NO! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME MISTA DRAGON DON’T KILL ME– oh hey would you look at that he listened.

JUNO: Huh. …He did.

SOUND: SLOW FOOTSTEPS.

RITA: Careful there, boss! You don’t know what that dragon might do! They’re tricky! Probably.

JUNO: They’re not real, Rita.

SOUND: ECHOEY CLANKS.

This is just another robot puppet, like the lion at the bottom of the hill. Deactivated like everything else. …It looks like the track hugs the wall for a while – come on. Swift can’t have gotten that far ahead yet.

SOUND: DEEP WHIRRING, MACHINE POWERING UP.

What the hell?

SOUND: METAL SQUEAKING.

MUSIC: STARTS.

RITA: M-m-mista Steel! The– the dragon, i-it’s—

JUNO: —moving, I can see that!

NARRATOR: Andromeda grabbed a sparkling crown as Draco unleashed its fiery breath!

SOUND: ROAR, FLAME CRACKLING.

RITA: Boss!! That’s SO much fire! And boy, is it hot!

JUNO: Step back! Hopefully that’ll be the last of—

JUNO & RITA: (YELP)

SOUND: ROAR.

RITA: Mista Steel! It’s coming closer!

JUNO: And faster than I’d like, too. Rita, there’s a control panel on the wall by the tracks. Do you think you could hack into it?

RITA: Okay, boss!

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEPS.

The password– I was watchin’ Dr. Vega’s hands when he was puttin’ the password in—

SOUND: ERROR BEEP.

Oh no, oh no!

JUNO: Rita, we’re running out of time, here!

RITA: It’s like a billion-digit password, boss, you’re gonna have to buy me some time!

JUNO (NARRATOR): So I did what I do best: I bought time.

SOUND: BLASTER SHOTS. METAL CREAKING.

RITA: Did it work?

JUNO: Made its head snap back a little, but it’s coming back. It’s getting kinda warm in here, Rita!

RITA: You think I can’t feel that?!

SOUND: BEEPING. ERROR BEEP.

Arrrggghhh!

JUNO (NARRATOR): The fire was close. We were backed up onto the tracks, now, and I swore I could feel the huge workings of the mechanical dragon rumbling in the walls and the floor.

Or… was that the dragon?

SOUND: SUCCESS BEEP.

RITA: There! I got us into the terminal, boss.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And suddenly it hit me. I put my hand into the fire…

SOUND: ROAR, FLAMES CRACKLING.

RITA: Now I just gotta– Mista Steel, what are you doin’?! It’s gonna roast you alive!

JUNO (NARRATOR): But it didn’t. I was fine – the fire was just hot air and holograms. The rumbling, though… that got bigger. And then, I remembered what was on the same circuit as the robots.

SOUND: WHEELS CLACKING ON TRACKS.

JUNO: The cart.

RITA: The what?

Hey, let go’a me, you– oooooaaahh!

SOUND: THUD.

JUNO: Oof!

RITA: Ah!

SOUND: CLACKING GROWS LOUDER. DULL CRASH, CLACKING STOPS.

MUSIC: ENDS.

NARRATOR: And there, in all his rage and glory, stood Draco, the mighty dragon!

SOUND: RAIN.

RITA: That rollercoaster cart… almost splattered us, boss!

JUNO: Yeah. It got real close, didn’t it.

SOUND: ROAR.

NARRATOR: Andromeda grabbed a sparkling crown as Draco unleashed its fiery breath!

SOUND: CLACKING STARTS AGAIN, FADES OUT.

RITA: And now– it’s… gone.

JUNO: Sticks around just long enough for you to think you’ll get roasted, but there’s never any real danger.

It’s not fire. Just like Vega said.

RITA: But… then how did those engineers get all burnt up?

JUNO: I don’t know.

Rita, didn’t Vega say the computer kept a log of whoever accessed it last?

RITA: I think so.

JUNO: Check the log, then. Hurry!

RITA: Okay, okay, I don’t see what the rush is. First, I just gotta deactivate the carts…

SOUND: ELECTRONIC BEEPS. POWERING DOWN NOISE.

There. Now I’ll check the logs…

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKING.

It… doesn’t say who used it, but… it says it was in the next room. D’you think it’s whoever Yasmin saw?!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Aaaaaaand that’s when I figured it out.

JUNO: Turn on the security footage for that room.

RITA: Mista Steel—

JUNO: Now, Rita!

RITA: Oh, alright, alright…

(GASPS) N– no… The one who activated the carts– was– Yasmin?!

JUNO (NARRATOR): Yasmin Swift. Security Chief of Polaris Park. The camera feed showed her inspecting the cart that failed to crush us, and I saw Draco’s controls up on the terminal in front of her. Vega was right. Swift had been briefed on the security footage before, and in fact, she knew how to use it better than he did. She proved that about two seconds later when she deactivated the camera we were watching her through.

SOUND: BEEP.

JUNO: What the…? Rita, bring it back!

SOUND: KEYBOARD CLICKING.

RITA: I’m tryin’, boss!

SOUND: BEEPS.

But… it’s just… deleted! Everything that camera’s recorded in the past twenty-four hours is gone!

JUNO: So we have no proof. Great.

SOUND: DOOR OPENS.

SWIFT: Oh…! You’re alright!

JUNO: You sound surprised.

SWIFT: Relieved is more like it. I’m glad you two are so hardy. Surviving what even our engineers couldn’t… I could’ve sworn you’d be charcoal briquettes by now.

RITA: Y-y-y– Yasmin…

MUSIC: STARTS.

SWIFT: What’s the matter, sweetheart? Aren’t you happy to see me?

JUNO (NARRATOR): If she knew we knew, she wasn’t saying a thing; and unfortunately, it was going to have to stay that way.

She knew this ride better than we did. If we let her run wild in here, I’m sure she’d know a hundred ways to roast us, crush us, and fun us straight into our graves. But we couldn’t take her into custody yet, either, because we didn’t have any evidence, and unless she slipped up right in front of us, we’d never get it.

So for now, the safest place was just where I didn’t want to be.

SWIFT: Did you see anyone come through here? I was chasing after someone, but they slipped away…

You two alright? You look a little pale.

JUNO: I’m ready to keep goin’ if you are.

RITA: What?!

JUNO: If you want to go back, Rita, I’ll bring you back first. But we still have a saboteur to catch. And I’m staying in here until I catch ‘em.

SWIFT: Like a dog with a bone, Juno. I like it. What do you say, doll? Coming with?

RITA: I– I…

Yeah. I’m n-not gonna leave you alone, Mista Steel. Not again.

SWIFT: Alright then. Let’s go, ladies.

JUNO (NARRATOR): Yasmin Swift had gotten me, with that strong jaw and that bright smile. It costs nearly twenty creds to get a bottle of water in this stupid theme park, but the smiles, they say, are always free.

Ma wouldn’t’ve agreed. Good old Sarah Steel always said that there was only one thing in life that came free – and that was death.

SWIFT: Keep your eyes peeled. We don’t want to let the murderer get away.

JUNO (NARRATOR): And from the look of things, the alternative was getting more expensive by the minute.

MUSIC: ENDS.

***

SOUND: TRAIN MOVING, MUSIC.

CONDUCTOR: If you've enjoyed this tale, please consider donating to The Penumbra on Patreon. Our artists work tirelessly to bring you these stories, and if you have the means, we hope you will support our efforts. Every dollar helps. You can find that page at patreon.com/thepenumbrapodcast. If you support us on Patreon at the $10 level or higher, you'll receive access to commentary tracks like this one, from actors Kate Jones, Joshua Ilon, and Sarah Gazdowicz:

SOUND: TRAIN STOPS, DOOR SLIDES OPEN, RAIN.

SARAH: …to be manipulative, but I don’t think that that is true. I think that she thinks Rita is very cute.

KATE: How—

SARAH: And—

KATE: —can you not?

SARAH: I don’t– I don’t know.

JOSHUA: You have to be around her all the time. [unintelligible mumbling – speak up, Joshua]

KATE: Alright.

JOSHUA: No that’s what we’ve seen! We’ve seen what overexposure to Rita does. That’s what this episode has shown us, more. It’s-it’s beginning– before and after. It’s ‘oh, that’s charming!’ and then, now ‘I can’t get rid of it.’

SARAH: No, but you couldn’t live without Rita.

JOSHUA: No, you couldn’t.

SARAH: You can’t. Rita’s one of a kind.

JOSHUA: Yeah. You can drown in too much water, though…

SOUND: DOOR SLIDES SHUT.

CONDUCTOR: You can also support The Penumbra by liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter @thepenumbrapod, following us on Tumblr @thepenumbrapodcast, telling your friends about us, telling your friends to tell their friends about us, and especially by rating and reviewing our podcast on iTunes. Every rating, comment, and kind word spreads our stories further and inspires us to keep creating more and better tales to come.

We would like to give special thanks to all who support us on Patreon, but especially to Lynné Herman, Gray, Jaimie Gunter, and the Princess and the Scrivener for their incredibly generous contributions per episode. Thank you.

This tale, Juno Steel and the Dragon’s Den, was told by the following people: Joshua Ilon as Juno Steel, Kate Jones as Rita, Sarah Gazdowicz as Yasmin Swift, Bob Mussett as Lorenzo Vega, Simon Moody as Mayor Pilot Pereyra, and M. Sutherland as the narrator.

On staff at The Penumbra: Kevin Vibert is our lead writer and recording engineer. Sophie Kaner is our director and sound designer. Grahame Turner is our script editor. Noah Simes is our production manager. Alice Chung is our designer and financial manager. Original music by Ryan Vibert. Promotional art by Mikaela Buckley.

The Penumbra is created and produced by Sophie Kaner and Kevin Vibert.

I'm afraid this is the end of the line for today, dear Traveler. We hope you will ride with The Penumbra again soon.

ALL SOUNDS: FADE OUT.

[sae-you-sae-me]

HI, can I request one with RFA+Saeran+V, like moments that they would have with their kid/kids? Maybe taking their kid/kids to work, coming home after a long day but even though they're tired, they still play with their kid/kids. These are just some examples and the kid/kids could be any age(as long as they count as a kids.) Thank you for all the Headcanons, some of these have helped me got through my depression and I am way better now because of you guys. *BIG HUGS FROM MY SIDE OF THE WORLD!*

So glad we could make you a little happier! *GIVES BIGGER HUG FROM OUR SIDE OF THE WORLD* Hope you enjoy these~

Zen:

His daughter had been spending way too much time with Jumin’s son

So, Zen wanted some quality time with her, at least for one day

He wakes her up one morning and takes her out for breakfast at a little coffee shop

They have a cute little breakfast while they talk about life and school

Zen pulls out his phone and takes a bunch of selfies

His daughter may have picked up some traits from him and joined into his selfie shenanigans

They use so many filters, and her favorite one is the wolf one, since Zen makes so many jokes about him being one

It’s all going great until her friends from school happen to pass by

“You didn’t tell me your dad was so…hot.”

Thankfully, Zen had been paying for the  meal, so he didn’t hear, but his daughter was mortified

She hurried Zen out of there when he was done

For most of the day, they visited different shops and walked around town together

When they got home at night, they put on masks together and put on a movie–that Zen wasn’t in

Zen fell asleep in the middle of it, and his daughter took the advantage and took a bunch of pictures and selfies

Zen looked ridiculous with the mask on and his mouth hanging open

She sent several to her mother for both of their amusement

Yoosung:

He had a day off and it was a rainy day

Thankfully, he had an entire playroom for his little boy

Yoosung had recently bought this huge foam blogs and several packs of them

So the two of them spent the entire afternoon transforming the room into the boy’s little house

There were walls that separated off a tiny living room, dining room, kitchen, and bedroom

He dragged Yoosung along in all the rooms

The first stop was the kitchen, complete with fake food and fake pots and pans

He made Yoosung a plastic omurice before serving him in the dining room

Yoosung plays along for the whole hour, even though his knees are killing him from being on the floor the whole time

The kid gets really excited and tries to run into another room

Unfortunately, his excitement causes him to run into one of the foam walls

A domino effect later, the whole foam house is on the ground and the kid is crying because he messed everything up

Yoosung tries to calm him down, “No, no! You’re just super strong. Like Spiderman!”

To cheer him up, Yoosung changes his son into a spiderman onesie

He then lifts him up in the air and lets his son pretend he’s flying

The kid is doing the spiderman thing with his fingers while Yoosung jumps from place to place around the house, the kid in his arms

Eventually, the kid gets tired and so does Yoosung, so they just take a nap together

Jaehee:

It was bring your kid to work day at C&R

Jaehee really didn’t want to bring her seven year old daughter, but there was no school that day and she couldn’t find a babysitter

So she brought her along

Her daughter was in awe by the place and kept asking Jaehee questions about what she did

Jaehee didn’t want her to get bored while she was doing paperwork, so she gave her little tasks of her own

She took a big pile of junk paper and set beside the shredder, teaching her daughter how to use it

The girl was fascinated with watching the paper shred into little tiny pieces

“Mom, this is so cool!” 

“Yeah, honey, it is–No! Not that paper!”

After that, Jaehee gives her the job of putting stamps on envelopes to be mailed

It killed her pride, but Jaehee wanted to do something special for her daughter

So she asked Jumin to award the little girl with a certificate

She didn’t expect Jumin to give an entire speech in the conference room about how there has never been a better paper shredder in the company

What made it worse is that her daughter has this huge admiration for Jumin now

Jumin: 

One of his business deals went through and the client gifted Jumin with this huge Lego Star Wars ship

It was an odd gift, but Jumin thought his ten year old would like it

So, he gave it to him that night and promised to build it with him as soon as he got home from work the next day

The son was so excited

He opened the set and separated the legos by color and type and waited patiently for Jumin by the coffee table

As soon as the keys jingle from the door, the son is darting forward to greet his dad

Jumin keeps his word and they get to work

He didn’t expect it to be so complicated…

Jumin is so confused by all the instructions…and why they are pictures instead of written words

“Hey, Dad! Look!”

Jumin slowly lowers the huge paper and sees his son one-fourth of the way done

Eventually, Jumin tries actual building, but his long fingers make it difficult to put the tiny pieces together

The kid crawls in his lap and helps his dad as they build certain parts together

Hours later and they finally finish

Jumin is so proud, since his son managed to figure out the foreign language of instructions and finish

He wants to take a picture, so his son stands on the couch and does a little peace sign next to their creation

Jumin goes out with his son and buys some more smaller lego sets

MC comes home with her living room full of Star Wars spaceships…

Seven:

His eight year old daughter came home from school a little pouty

She tells him that she has a science fair soon and she needs to build something for it

He suggests a solar system, and she responds by pulling a disgusted face

“Space is boring though!” 

Seven gasps loudly and promises to show her she’s wrong

Knowing he can get a little extra when it comes to projects, so she emphasizes that she only needs the simplest thing

He tells her to go draw a picture of the solar system and he would help with coloring or something

She brings it back to him and he just spreads it across the table, “Great! This is the blueprint.”

Knowing she can’t stop him, she just goes along with whatever he has planned

They spend the day building with whatever equipment he has in his house

He gives her a bunch of space facts as they’re building the planets together and putting together the rods

When it comes time to a snack break, he takes her out to the store and buys some HBC and Dr. Pepper

“I use to live on this when I was younger,” he told her.

He sees sparkles in her eyes when she first tries them together and he’s so proud

They finish the project together throughout the week, and both end up really liking spending the quality time together

And she doesn’t hate space anymore, which was a plus

But then he gets a call from a teacher the next day voicing their concerns

Apparently, a solar system complete with lights, moon phases, and a robotic orbit implied that she might have cheated

Seven didn’t care that she got disqualified, and he took her out for ice cream to celebrate anyway

Saeran:

Unfortunately, Saeran’s six year old son had the same health tendencies as his father

That meant he got sick pretty often and had to stay home from school

Saeran saw he was getting pretty bummed out about it

So he decides to make that sick day as fun as possible

He brings a bunch of books to the bed and lets his son pick one out

He reads as many as he can, but in the middle of one, his son requests a puppet show

Saeran is hesitant, but he can’t resist his son when he looks so pale and tired

So he builds a little theatre and draws faces on some old socks

He begins reading from the book again, this time with the puppets talking

“And then the king said–”

“No, Daddy, you have to do the voices!”

“Oh…sorry…Ahem.” He proceeds in a higher pitched voice

He actually does finish the story–voices and all–and the kid is laughing by the time he’s done

Saeran will put on his son’s favorite movies and move him over to the couch

He melts a little when his son snuggles up to him for warmth

V:

He takes his daughter to the playground since it’s a nice day

But she’s very shy so she ends up being alone on a swing at one end of the park

He feels bad, but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable and push her at the other kids

So he joins her

First he takes to slides, but she’s too scared to go down the really long slides

So he sets her on his lap and goes down with her–even if he hits his head a few times

He plays that game where he pretends he’s in trouble as he’s lying backwards on the slide and holding out his hand while she pulls him up

After awhile, she’s not scared anymore so she tries to impress him by walking up the slide

But she ends up slipping and going straight to the ground, and he has to get wood chips out of her hair

The other kids are attracted to the fun the two seem to be having

V somehow ends up as a jungle gym with children climbing him and asking to play with them

By the time they leave, his daughter has made quite a few friends, but she looks up at V and grabs his hand, “I had the most fun with you, Daddy!”

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

[rylanwduz380-blog]

Vivint Solar Panels Review For 2020 Vivint Smart Home

Vivint Reviews - Is It A Scam Or Legit?

The company possesses a big social media existence, with greater than 340,000 Facebook ases if, 7,100 Twitter followers, along with their very own You Tube network and Pinterest feed. Vivint secures no rating with the Bbb, though they perform have 2,556 shut complaints within recent 3 years. Based upon hundreds of on the internet customer reviews, the company appears to possess a mostly good credibility, with one of the most typical grievances being actually an incapacity to manage all modern technology within your property (as do much of Vivint's competitions), absence of Wi-Fi management, as well as bad consumer support experiences.

Power Monitoring-- Vivint's Energy Management package resembles the Property Computerization plan, except that it does certainly not include video surveillance or automated door locks. Home Security-- The Home Security deal is actually Vivint's most essential offering, as well as is planned mostly to safeguard your residence against breach. Solar Power-- Vivint is actually one-of-a-kind with their Solar Energy package, that includes photovoltaic panels, microinverters, an internet gauge, and also all important electrical wiring.

If you have a pre-existing surveillance device, your technician will certainly produce every effort to utilize the tools. If they are unable to perform therefore, you will definitely need to have to obtain Vivint's proprietary devices, which may be observed via cellular technology. Advertisement All aspects of your Vivint property computerization body are managed using their touchscreen panel, which may handle your AIR CONDITIONING, safety and security, home lighting fixtures, video clip, as well as extra.

Vivint Reviews 2018: A Complete Guide - Protect America

Particular attributes differ by package deal, however may include home health care, severe climate alerts, remote accessibility, digital door hairs, and also even more. If you're unsure which package is better for you, the company provides free in-home appointments along with a skilled service technician. Account activation costs start at $99 for home security, $149 for energy control, and $199 for property automation, though yours might be actually greater relying on your credit score.

If you have you Vivint unit set up yet are actually dissatisfied with its functionality, you might call off scot-free within anywhere from 3 to 1 month afterward, depending upon your age and the state through which you stay. For additional particulars, satisfy visit the Vivint Frequently Asked Question page . Lots of high-tech attributes that can easily bring in remotely monitoring your house a breeze.

DigitalTrends.com Vivint Security System Reviews - Digital ...

Solar Power as well as Smart Thermostat innovations may assist in saving amount of money on energy bills. Total client contentment seems to be to be actually quite higher. Simply assistance for hard-wired as well as cellular tracking (no Wi-Fi). May be much more costly than some of the competition. Some individuals have asserted they experienced unsatisfactory customer care. Promotion Create a Testimonial for Vivint! Portion your expertise to assist others store smarter & discover wonderful products.

Vivint Solar Reviews And Testimonials - Vivint Solar

To additionally make your residence safe and secure, Vivint deals surveillance cams. Presently, there are actually 3 video cameras on Vivint's sequence: a bell electronic camera with a minimalist design, a clever in the house electronic camera referred to as Sound, as well as an outdoor camera supported along with artificial knowledge. The outdoor camera is actually the most recent add-on to the Vivint body.

All 3 electronic cameras do not videotape locally, so a cloud registration, which is actually included in Vivint's highest-tier tracking plan, is actually required. However, the surveillance plan merely covers cloud storage space for pair of electronic cameras as well as merely celebration online videos are actually documented. Activating cloud storage space for every added electronic camera will definitely cost you $5/month. Yet another option is to purchase Vivint Smart Travel, a neighborhood DVR that can save up to thirty day of ongoing audio for 4 cams.

I want our team can provide 0 celebrities. This firm is just one of the much worse i've ever made use of! They do certainly not incriminate for there actions and they are here to oppress over each of there customers! WORST SERVICE EVER !!! Don't ever ever CERTAINLY NEVER ever before receive vivint. I submitted the other time, it took our company 5 opportunities speaking to client company, several times troubleshooting our Vivint thermostat along with client service before Vivint eventually relented as well as sent us a brand new regulator.

Customer Reviews: Vivint.smarthome

In traditional Vivint manner nothing on the temperature, console, or application indicates there is actually a concern. So we bite the bullet get in touch with out a HEATING AND COOLING professional since my residence is actually 50 * as well as my toddlers are actually chilly. Specialist emerges spends regarding 10 mins looking into the body to inform me Todd Pedersen CEO that the issue is actually the thermostat.

In the long run we placed on the aged vivint thermostat that at the very least performed good enough to switch the warm on yet won't deal with the board or even the app. I acquire back on with customer care in order that they can tell me they are actually pleased to repair the temperature along with me once more however that I'll need to hang around up until later on recently to get in touch with as well as talk with an individual about eliminating the solution from our strategy.

The Vivint Home Security prime package includes just about everything in the essential package as well as smoke detector, temperature change or carbon monoxide detector and flood sensor. Vivint's premier bundle will help you with confidence since carbon monoxide detection, power failure, or burglary is being monitored twenty four hours a day. To check out all the options, they can check out Vivint's website to view the Security System demos. A customer false alarm record can also be found with the useful information on the website, as a way of preventing false alarms. Todd Pedersen Vivint

Worst firm ever!!!! Our team vacated our rental home that possessed Vivint at the end of Feb 2019. Our team referred to as Vivint to cancel our account and also they enticed us to put the account on grip therefore that way our company can use it in our brand new spot. Our experts were informed that our team are going to not be actually demanded up until our profile was removed hold.

Vivint Reviews - Is It A Scam Or Legit?

I have actually been Vivint Reviews actually battling, on and off, for a refund for 8 months now. Since Nov 2019 I have called them regarding every pair of full weeks, considering that they mentioned they delivered a refund examination, and also maintain receiving told that the reimbursement was actually put in incorrect and they are declining to provide me my refund.

Vivint Smart Home Security Review

They are a bunch of criminals as well as phonies and are going to perform whatever they can to maintain your funds. Considering that I have absolutely nothing much better to perform I will be getting in touch with these people every day till I obtain my refund. My services certainly never functioned! I whined plenty of opportunities and also they would certainly carry out the exact same troubleshooting as decision before.

Whenever I got in touch with for support the reps were actually quite discourteous and will consult with people around them or place me on mute. When our team ultimately attempted to simply cancel companies they would certainly endanger our team with an agreement that I authorized. When I subscribed I was actually said to no deals but that if I left I would certainly be accountable for the remaining harmony of the devices! I disputed this and also they accepted to allow me pay for the continuing to be balance despite the fact that for flawed tools I should not have needed to.

Vivint Home Security Reviews For 2019 - Reviews, Complaints

When I doubted this they would certainly never ever tell me why, even when I rose to Todd Pedersen Vivint a supervisor. Then I received an ultimate declaration in and the added was for numerous months of company beforehand due to a deal that never existed!!!! Whatever, I more than disputing regarding funds given that they will certainly never perform everything regarding it.

Unbelievable. The professional individuals revealed up at 8pm and stayed till 11pm, and afterwards wanted to go in my children room. When our company went to uncover the door, it triggered the police alert twice. The cops were actually not satisfied at twelve o'clock at night. The salesman and also technicians were offering me cash money to balance bizarre invoicings and also make our team pleased.

Our experts terminated. This resembles a Russian mafia company or money washing operation. At that point when they must possess refunded $700 in equipment, they actually invoiced me the $700. It was actually thus dubious. I might possess been out $1400. Today, our team still have some hardware, however it isn't appropriate with Brinks.

Customer Reviews: Vivint.smarthome

BTW, zero celebrities is certainly not a choice. I merely devoted an hour and also a fifty percent on the phone along with an agent and afterwards the manager. I possessed 2 houses with the vivint protection device. One in NY and one in PA. I discontinued companies in June 2019 as well as sold my home in PA in October.

In Oct the vivint specialist slipped up and also eliminated the safety device that I assured the brand new proprietors, I must possess vivint return the products back to your house. Seemingly this might only be done if they revived the account so they can easily arrange the company telephone call. This was made with the assurance that the account would be shut the time after the technician service telephone call.

Along with that being pointed out, I now start to acquire automatic monthly money for the home that continues to be not being used as well as unplugged for June, July, August, September, Oct, November and also now December for $56.47. Hang around, it acquires much better. My debit card recorded for the PA property ran out as well as I told all of them I had not been visiting upgrade it considering that I no more have the profile.

[nationwidesolarprosinstall-blog]

Why Washington is Heating Up with Solar Power Right Now

However, Washington and some of the other darker states, like New York and New Jersey, have implemented rules and policies that encourage home and businessowners to turn away from fossil-fueled, environmentally unfriendly electricity and turn towards the clean energy that is solar power. In the race to see which state can top the charts for the most solar powered homes and businesses, Washington is determined to take the lead. To do this, the government and private companies are offering incredible incentives, updated solar-led policies, and multiple strategies to entice people to make the switch to clean, efficient solar energy.

Washington has a bad reputation for being too cloudy for solar panels to work well, but that is a badly held myth disproved over years and years of solar studies. Solar maps of the Pacific Northwest region show that the upper areas of the United States receive more than enough sunlight to effectively power both homes and businesses throughout the year, even factoring in cloud cover and dreary days!

So, to combat rumors and falsely held beliefs, Washington legislators have had to work extra hard to spread the word that solar power works. They have done a great job with this, throwing in extra incentives and policies that reward home and businessowners to go solar – and they even pay you for your electricity!

What Kinds of Rules Does Washington Have About Solar?

Not every state pushes the solar power agenda, although there are numerous widespread benefits to this type of clean energy. When there are favorable policies and rules set in place by the state’s government, more people are apt to turn to solar panels to power their home. Just because your state has a lot of daily sunlight does not necessarily mean the government is helping to make it affordable for you to use solar power. It doesn’t make sense, but there it is.

However, Washington and some of the other darker states, like New York and New Jersey, have implemented rules and policies that encourage home and businessowners to turn away from fossil-fueled, environmentally unfriendly electricity and turn towards the clean energy that is solar power.

Some of the policies that Washington has enacted that help with this agenda include the following:

Passing a Renewable Portfolio Standard (RPS), which mandates that at least 15% of the production of electricity from all utility companies be generated from clean, renewable resources by 2020. Even though 15% is a low target to be aiming for, the fact that it exists at all is a great step in the right direction, and Washington is one of only a handful of states that has an RPS policy.

This policy helps homeowners because it, in effect, tells utility companies that unless they reach that goal, they have to pay the state mega fees. These companies don’t want to do that, but they don’t want to pay you for your electricity, either. However, creating solar incentives to work with homeowners is a better option for them than the potential fees they face if they don’t, so on top of lower electric bills, you also can

make money off of your extra power.

Washington offers “performance payments” for you to use solar power. Currently, the minimum payment is $0.15/kWh, which means that for every kilowatt-hour that you generate with your solar system, you get money back, at least through June 2020.

Net metering is not available in all states, but Washington encourages this policy. This simply means that you get a credit for all of the energy generated by your solar panels.

Washington also has solid interconnection policies. These rules determine how easy it is for you to utilize net metering. While the two are similar, some states allow net metering but don’t make it easy for homeowners to actually utilize the procedures. Washington’s interconnection policies are simple and understandable, allowing any solar system, regardless of size, to connect to the power grid and send power to the attached utility company.

These policies show the country, and the citizens of Washington, that the legislators are serious about increasing solar power generation in their state and they will do what is necessary to make it happen.

Washington Proves They are Serious About Solar

Sure, it’s easy to adopt a bunch of policies and expect others to enforce them – anyone can do that. But Washington takes on their own aspect of the financial burden by adding solar incentives and rebates to help ease the startup costs.

Like any home renovation, there is an up-front cost that has to be dealt with when you make the switch to solar. Unlike other home improvements, though, this cost quickly pays for itself, even without incentives, net metering, and rebates. But Washington wants to help homeowners early on in the process, so you have multiple avenues of financial assistance.

Of course, everyone gets the Federal Solar Tax Credit, regardless of where they live in the United States. This credit gives you 30% of your solar system costs back on your income taxes the following year and it can be deferred in case you really just didn’t need to save 30% quite yet.

Additionally, some counties in Washington offer solar rebates. These work like any other rebate – you pay for the cost up front and you receive a check in the mail if you qualify. Some companies take you out of the picture as the middle man, reducing your cost right away and waiting for the rebate check themselves.

Rebates are a great way to entice homeowners to invest in solar power, which then creates new jobs in the solar sector, which then enhances the economy overall. It’s a smart move, and the government encourages this.

Not only do certain counties offer rebates, but if you work with your solar installation company, they may be able to help you determine if you can qualify for other rebates from private businesses and other entities. Nationwide Solar Pros stays up-to-date with the most current offers and discounts available to you.

Paying Your Way to Solar Freedom

Yes, there is always an upfront cost to any home improvements, but how many of your home’s renovations can you say have the ability to make you money, too?

Solar power does just that.

The return on investment for solar power is considered to be one of the highest that you can get with your home. Not only will you qualify for tax credits, rebates, and net metering money, but solar power also puts money back in your pocket and gives you other benefits in the following ways:

Your monthly electric bills are reduced or eliminated completely. By working with your solar installation company and evaluating your past year of electric bills, you can determine the solar system size that fits your family’s or business’s consumption needs best. If you get the right size and have an average month’s usage, you won’t see an electric bill at all, and any surplus power will go to the utility company if you are signed up for net metering.

This means that if you ever do get a bill (within the stipulated time period) it will be reduced based on how much surplus power you generated, or you will be paid for that excess power if that’s how your utility company’s net metering policy works.

Your home’s value will increase. No matter where you live, solar panels increase your home’s property value significantly. This amount varies by state and county, but you can expect to be able to receive thousands of dollars more – at a minimum – when you sell your house after you own the system. The average home with a solar system sells for $15,000 more than its non-solar powered counterpart.

Additionally, homes with solar panels sell much faster – up to 20% quicker – than fossil-fuel powered homes.

The upkeep is minimal. As long as you get regular roof maintenance and inspections, keeping up with your solar panels is not a costly project.

The environmental benefits are incredible. Like the butterfly effect, your choice to make the switch to clean energy will have far-reaching consequences beyond any that you can foresee. Fossil fuel reserves are depleting, and the use is causing global warming on an unprecedented scale.

Every person who turns to solar or renewable energy to replace their dependence on fossil fuels is making a significant impact. In fact, the incentive of simply reducing their carbon footprint is enough to make millions of people turn to solar power. The financial perks are simply a bonus.

Simply put, it pays in enormous ways to turn to solar – but staying with fossil-fueled electricity means that future generations will pay the cost for our decision.

There’s Never Been a Better Time to Go Solar  

Washington’s policy of ensuring at least 15% of the state’s electricity is generated from clean energy is coming to a head. That means that companies who haven’t met their quota yet are going to be scrambling to come up with new ways to entice users to turn to solar. That’s a great thing for you – there’s never been a better time for you to get on board!

Call Nationwide Solar Pros to see how we can help you start reaping the benefits of solar today!

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[chopperiv]

Alien Covenant Is Bad

I tried to think of a clever title. I failed.

I saw Alien: Covenant the other day and I figured I’d write up some of my thoughts, because holy hell this movie is bad. If you’re an Alien fan, this movie is going to piss you off. Hell, if you’re a fan of good moviemaking and horror films in general, this film will piss you off.

Spoilers abound ahead, so either see the movie first (please don’t, spare yourself the pain) or give up on caring about Alien: Covenant spoilers. Also this is going to be long, I’ve got a lot of shit to say and there is so much wrong with this movie that this is basically going to read like a plot synopsis. Here we go.

The movie starts with a short scene where the film’s main antagonist, the android David 8 from the previous film Prometheus, is activated for the first time. It’s basically just there to set up that David is in this movie. I have no problems with this scene, especially since David’s played by Michael Fassbender and I love that guy.

The problems actually start with the next scene, on the colonist ship Covenant. Walter, another android played by Fassbender (he’s a later model, more advanced but with less emotion), goes around the ship checking on all the colonists and crewmembers in hypersleep. Then he activates the solar sails to recharge the ship’s power supply, and we get to our first major misstep. For some reason, the star in this solar system...does...something? which causes a “neutrino burst”, which is basically a big wave of stuff that blasts the Covenant and fucks a bunch of shit up. The crew is awakened due to the emergency, but the captain (James Franco, absolutely wasted since he, well...) dies when the inside of his hypersleep pod explodes into flames. (Seriously, I didn’t even know it was Franco until a scene after this where the female lead, Katherine Waterston, watches a video message from him. That is all the screentime he gets. His hypersleep pod immolates him, and then he says hi to his wife while rock-climbing in a video.)

The reason this is a misstep is because the “neutrino burst” is just...a thing that happens. It isn’t set up (it’s not even like it’s something established in any of the other movies), its only purpose it to get the plot where it needs to be, and it’s described as being “a completely random event”. This becomes important later, hold on to that.

So now that James Franco is dead, command of the ship is transferred over to Billy Crudup, who is a complete and utter moron. I cannot stress that enough. The only bad thing that happens in this movie that isn’t a result of his stupid decisions is the neutrino burst. He tells the crew they can’t have a funeral for the dead former captain because...uh...he’s an idiot, but they do anyway. This makes him mad. He whines to his wife (everybody on this ship is married to someone else on the ship, but that’s never mentioned) about how the company passed him up to be the ship’s captain and he thinks it’s because of his religion. That is garbage, you idiot. It’s because you’re a moron who couldn’t be trusted to competently lead a Boy Scout troop. This whole religious thing is mentioned one more time in the movie. It is just as jarring and out of place there too.

Anyway, a couple of the crew go outside the ship to repair the solar sails, when one of them, Danny McBride (who is named Tennessee. Really. I don’t even need to think of a snarky nickname for him, they actually call him Tennessee.) gets some kind of weird transmission from a nearby planet. When they get back in the ship, they decipher the transmission to be a recording of a woman humming “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver.

What.

Now, this is kind of silly, but in this movie this is just kind of the goofy icing on the cake. Of course Tennessee immediately recognizes the tune a garbled transmission is humming, because plot, and they decide it would be a good idea to go to the nearby planet and figure out where the transmission came from.

BUT WAIT. That isn’t actually why they go to the planet. No, that would at least make a little bit of sense. They decide to go there...because this planet is basically Earth But Better. The gravity is only slightly less than Earth’s and the air is breathable, so the ENTIRE CREW (except for Waterston’s character, who is our resident Not-Ripley) decides “fuck the original colonization spot, this place looks great. Let’s go check it out.”

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET BACK IN YOUR SLEEPYTIME PODS. This is not a negotiable thing. You have been sent on a mission by the series’ local Mega-Corporation. You are all trained god damn professionals. Mark the spot of this so-called miracle planet on your star charts, make a log noting it, and continue on your way. Now let’s bring back that whole “random event” thing: one of the reasons stated for the crew wanting to go to this planet rather than continue on is because they don’t want to risk another neutrino burst happening. WHICH IT WON’T. Two reasons: 1, the burst was a random fucking event, meaning it’s highly unlikely that a second one would be happening any time soon, and 2, if you keep moving towards your destination, you won’t be anywhere near the scary explosive star anymore! That seems like the more logical choice if you’re worried about star burps!

Oh yeah, and they try to explain why they hadn’t found the planet before. One of the characters says that the Mega-Corp scanned this area of space incredibly thoroughly. And he makes sure to stress they couldn’t possibly have missed it. So what’s the explanation for why this planet went unnoticed?

“THEY MUST HAVE MISSED IT.”

That’s it. That’s all they say to wave away this idiocy. That is stupid. Are you beginning to understand why I don’t like this film yet? We haven’t even gotten to the Aliens themselves.

But no. After a brief argument with Not-Ripley, which basically boils down to “This is a really fucking bad idea.” “It definitely is and I have no good counterarguments other than we are lazy and this film is lazy,” Idiot Captain decides to go to the planet anyway to take a look around. We jump to them about to orbit the planet, and they say that the ionosphere around the planet will make communication difficult. But you know what’s garbage about this? This comes into play approximately once. In a moment that, iirc, nobody would have been able to answer the phone anyway. Why have it even impede communications in the first place if you’re not going to do anything with it?

Anyway they head down to the planet in a dropship, with Tennessee and two randos staying on the Covenant. Now, riddle me this: if you were going down as the first scouting team on a completely alien planet, one with tons of plant life and possible animal life, and new microscopic bacterial life that could absolutely fuck you up, what kind of gear would you bring? You’d bring full protective gear, right? Hazmat suits, maybe. Protective breathers and no exposed skin at the least.

NOT THESE FUCKOS. They look like they’re getting ready to go on a camping trip rather than explore an alien landscape. Maybe my joke earlier about Captain Idiot commanding a Boy Scout troop wasn’t too far off.

And guess what happens. Right off the bat, they split the party, with the professional botanist grabbing some samples and a bodyguard sticking with her. The bodyguard goes off to have a smoke, and while he does so, he accidentally steps on some mushroom pod thing. They release a bunch of black spores, which...coalesce into a single tiny cloud, fly into his ear, and burrow into his ear canal. This would not have happened if you’d worn actual protective gear, morons.

Meanwhile, in the main group, they find the source of the transmission. It’s a broken up recording of some lady (it’s incredibly hard to see if there are any recognizable facial features or not) while she...does...something? I dunno, there’s a room full of stuff and she appears to be controlling the room, though I can’t be sure because it’s just a recording and nothing is happening in this room. This is all we get for the transmission. It is completely dropped after this point. Not even confronting the villain later, asking if he sent it out to try and lure people to the planet or something. Nothing.

Somebody in the group shoves his face into a bunch more of the pod things and snorts up a cloud of spores. Soon both he and ear-spore-guy are puking blood, and they both are rushed back to the dropship. Ear-spore-guy gets there first, and he’s rushed to the dropship’s med bay. The mechanic, who was working on something that apparently broke when they landed, tries to help, but then...

Surprise! Alien time! Our first alien creature of the movie pops out of ear-spore-guy’s back, and by god the CGI is terrible on it. There’s a difference between “moving unnaturally” and “movement that clearly shows this is CGI”. Anyway, the creature is weirdly adorable. It looks like a creepy little puppy thing. It kills botanist-lady, but mechanic-lady manages to lock it in the medbay while she grabs a shotgun. This is after slipping in ear-spore-guy’s blood like a god damn Three Stooges routine and crushing her foot in the door as she tries to close it. I should not be laughing during the first big action scene, movie. And then...

Ugh.

Mechanic-lady missed EVERY SHOT SHE TAKES AT THE ALIEN and instead BLOWS UP THE ENTIRE DROPSHIP, herself included.

THIS FAILS TO KILL THE ALIEN.

The main group gets back just in time to watch the thing blow up. Snorty guy dies when another alien rips out of his throat. It and the alien from the dropship then murder the shit out of a couple of the group and Walter loses a hand protecting Not-Ripley. One of the aliens is killed, but suddenly, the remaining alien is driven off by...

David, the android from the beginning of the movie! Firing a flare gun into the air! Which...wait a fucking second.

This thing doesn’t have any fucking eyes. Why did the flare scare it off? I don’t get it.

Anyway David has long hair now, despite being a robot and therefore unable to grow hair. I don’t get this either. He tells the surviving crew members to come with him, and they all walk through a massive necropolis filled with hundreds of dead people, frozen mid-death. Uhhhh...is nobody going to mention this? No? Just going to keep following the creepy robot man? OK then. You are all idiots. Especially the captain. David brings them to his cool science lab area where he does cool science.

David basically says “yeah, go ahead and hang out here for a while. It’s cool.” He gives himself a haircut to make himself look more like Walter, and you already know what’s going to happen from that one line, don’t you? He and Walter bond for a while, and he teaches Walter to play the recorder. (It’s not a flute, guys. It’s a fucking recorder.) As he’s teaching him, he delivers the immortal line: “I’ll do the fingering”. Now...Mr. Fassbender. Michael. Mike. Please tell me: how many takes did that line take? How many times did you have to say “I’ll do the fingering”? How many times did you say “I’ll do the fingering” without anybody - you, Ridley Scott, the second you acting in this scene - saying “Maybe that line is kind of dumb, we should change it because it is dumb”?

...”I’ll do the fingering”. Jesus.

They get a radio set up to talk to Tennessee on the ship, and he asks to talk to his wife, aka Mechanic-Lady. They tell him she’s dead. His response is basically “Oh no! That sucks.” Nobody in this film ever reacts to somebody dying in a realistic way except maybe when they watch the aliens burst out of people, and it’s really obvious and annoying. He just found out his wife is dead! He should be absolutely hysterical, or at the very least, he should be sobbing. Nobody in this movie brought their acting A-game, it seems.

Except Michael Fassbender. That man is incredible. I give guff to the whole “I’ll do the fingering” line, but the scenes between Walter and David are absolutely the best in the movie, and it’s really cool to watch Michael Fassbender basically playing off of himself. There were a few times where I forgot that both Fassbenders were only in the shot due to movie magic. And he made each character seem genuinely distinct from the other with just their expressions and voices.

But enough about my love for Michael Fassbender. Another character, Madame McDipshit, decides now would be a good time to wander off from the group to go wash her face. And while I can understand wanting to wash the blood and gore of your former co-workers off your face, this is not the time, and you chose the absolute wrong place to do it. She goes so far away from the group (despite Captain Idiot’s warning for her not to go too far) that nobody can even hear her scream when the throatburster alien comes back, now fully grown, and rips her to pieces. It even decapitates her! Though that may be why she didn’t scream. Doesn’t explain how nobody heard the alien’s loud pre-kill screeching though.

David and Captain Idiot discover the alien eating Madame McDipshit’s headless corpse while her head floats in the pool she was washing her face in. Lovely. David tries to make friends with the thing, and it seems like he’s about to succeed, what with the alien standing up straight and seemingly calming down, not attempting to kill David or his deliciously fleshy human friend...and then Captain Idiot shoots it a bunch. It gets mad, he shoots it some more, and it finally dies. David gets pissed. Now comes the other moment of Captain Idiot’s religiousness: he says to David that he saw the devil when he was young, and he didn’t look like David. Uhhh...thanks for sharing? What the hell does that have to do with anything?

Now, Captain Idiot has David at gunpoint. He’s already incredibly suspicious of him. And we know from both the original Alien and Prometheus that androids can function with only their head. Hell, in Prometheus it was David himself who was just a head. So what does Captain Idiot do? Does he shoot David, taking him offline so they can interrogate him later when he’s been made harmless? ...I’ve been calling him Captain Idiot, do you really think he’d make a rational decision like that? Instead Captain Idiot follows David down through David’s science chambers into some kind of underground tunnel. And guess what are in this tunnel? Facehugger eggs! And David, cool as anything, tells Captain Idiot “hey dipshit, stick your face in this egg. It’s totally safe. Trust me dude, have I done anything suspicious so far in this movie?”

So he does. And the audience laughs. And Captain Idiot gets facehugged. Congratulations you fucking moron. You had so many opportunities to avoid this fate, and you literally just walked into it. Congratu-fucking-lations.

Everybody who’s not Captain Idiot has decided “hey, you know what would be a good idea? Getting the fuck out of here.” And so they call Tennessee to get them out with a second dropship. Convenient! And while they’re...I dunno, playing solitaire? (I forget what they were doing, I saw this film a few days ago and all this has just kind of been stewing in me since then.) the chestburster in Captain Idiot pops out and it looks...nothing like the chestburster in the original. That thing was all pink and armless and weird and rather phallic. This chestburster is basically just an adult form - black, sleek, spindly arms - but...tiny.

And then it and David praise the sun together.

Yeah, they basically do this at each other. I guess David was making friends with it? It’s goofy and stupid and weird.

So you may have suspected it by now, but yes, this movie reveals that the Xenomorphs, the classic black aliens, the face of the Alien franchise (along with Sigourney Weaver)...are in fact NOT aliens. They are David’s creations. He took the black goo stuff from Prometheus, altered a bunch of insects with it, and they basically overran the planet until there were no animals left. He continued to refine his experiments into the spore pod things we saw in the beginning, and the facehuggers/xenomorphs we know and are terrified of.

This...

This is, without a doubt, the worst part of the entire movie.

Nobody was asking for the backstory of the Xenomorphs. Nobody. We watched Alien, and we all just accepted that there was a species of horrific black creatures that were really fucking good at killing things. Then Aliens gave us the Xenomorph queen, showing us how these creatures have a kind of insectoid hive structure. And that was fine. That was all we needed. Nobody asked any questions regarding how the Xenomorphs came to exist. We just kind of accepted that they do, and that’s all we needed or cared to know. But then this movie comes out, and suddenly, the title of this entire franchise is a fucking lie. If they were created by humans, or a human creation rather, then they’re not Aliens. Now, they’re Some Robot Guy’s Science Fair Project, which is a much lamer name for a franchise. That’s like if they made a sequel to, I don’t know, Titanic that revealed that the name of the ship in the original movie was actually the Bumfucker. Suddenly, there’s no reason for the movie to be named what it is! “Well, they’re still aliens because they came from another planet!” If a person was born on Mars, would they be an alien? No. It’s basically the same principle here. It’s a creation of Earth that happened to get started on another planet. They were Aliens before because everything about them was alien. They had no origin, no knowable motives, no thoughts or emotions, and they clearly didn’t look like something from Earth. But this movie gave them an origin. So now, they’re not alien anymore.

So David comes back upstairs, has another chat with Walter about how humans suck and robots are perfect and so much better. Walter, in turn, replies “Bitch, you thought ‘Ozymandias’ was written by Lord Byron when it was written by Percy Bysse Shelley. You’re not perfect, you don’t know SHIT.” Then David kisses him and stabs him in the neck, putting him offline. Walter doesn’t give a shit though, and reactivates as soon as David leaves the room. Then David finds Not-Ripley snooping through his stuff, and he kisses her. Neither Not-Ripley nor Walter are very happy about this, so Walter smashes him about the place for a little while and we get some sick Fassbender on Fassbender action. ...As in they fight. After the Fassbender-Fassbender kiss earlier I feel I should clarify.

Not-Ripley and the other survivors (one of whom nearly got facehugged while looking for the captain, but one of his buddies pried it off) make their escape to Tennessee’s dropship during the fight. Walter’s a newer model with regenerative capabilities (I guess his severed hand is more than he can handle though), so he basically no-sells everything David throws at him. He gets the upper hand and goes to smash David’s head in with a rock. David starts monologuing though, buying himself time to fumble for a knife out of Walter’s view. Walter lifts the rock as David gets his hand on the knife, and we cut away, not knowing who won the fight. Then Walter stumbles out of the science lab towards Tennesee’s dropship, so I guess that settles that cliffhanger. And hey! The Xenomorph shows up! It grabs onto the dropship as it’s taking off, and Not-Ripley fights it off while they try to get away. The Xenomorph is killed, they make it back to the ship ok, and everybody’s safe! Hooray!

Except the movie’s still going. It’s not over yet.

As Not-Ripley settles in for a good night’s sleep (you can sleep after all the shit that just happened? Damn.) the ship’s computer informs her that an unidentified life-form is roaming the ship. Turns out the guy that almost got facehugged got hugged long enough to get implanted with a chestburster. “Long enough” is apparently less than 5 seconds. Why did the thing stick around on John Hurt’s face so long in the original movie then? It was on there for a few hours. Argh.

Remember the two randos who were hanging out on the ship with Tennessee? Yeah, apparently they decided “all my friends and coworkers dying makes me horny. Let’s fuck in the shower.” The movie goes full slasher flick on us for a bit as the Xenomorph kills them. Those two characters could have been cut entirely and we would have lost practically nothing. Oh yeah, and for some reason we get some perspective shots from the Xenomorph’s POV while it’s crawling around in the ship. Remember my rant above about how the aliens are supposed to be alien? Yeah, this put the nail in that coffin. The Xenomorphs can apparently see just like we do! Though there is some weird goop in front of the camera. Still...it can see. Like humans do. It doesn’t have eyes. Rrrrgh. Long story short, Not-Ripley manages to eject the Xenomorph into space and all is well.

Until...omg! Walter was actually killed(?) by David and it’s David on the ship, not Walter! And Not-Ripley only figures this out as she and Tennesee, the only other survivor (yes, really) are going into hypersleep to continue their colonization mission (which they SHOULD have done to START WITH. Fucking Captain Idiot). David now has approximately 2000 colonists and thousands of human embryos to do his sick experiments on, and over 7 years before Not-Ripley is scheduled to wake up. Cliffhanger! Except...

How the fuck did David replace Walter? There was less than 30 seconds between the cut away from the end of their fight and the time when “Walter” showed up again heading towards the dropship. That means that in less than 30 seconds, David killed Walter, washed any of that white milky stuff androids in Alien have instead of blood off himself, stripped Walter, put on Walter’s clothes, and cut off his own fucking hand so that he could match Walter exactly. He even gave himself the battle damage Walter had sustained in their fight...which NONE OF THE CREW SAW. It was entirely for audience benefit. There is absolutely no way that David could have completely replaced Walter in that short amount of time. And it’s pretty much impossible to not see this coming. You can basically have David’s plan to kill and replace Walter pegged from the minute he cuts his inexplicable hair to better resemble Walter. Even if you didn’t have it realized from that point, the fact that they didn’t show David’s death would make the average astute moviegoer realize they’re going to reveal that David actually won the fight instead just to have the twist. It’s stupid and obvious and I need more words for stupid.

Anyway, since this is the end of the movie, that’s all I’m going to say about Alien: Covenant. I could probably say a lot more, especially if the movie was fresher in my mind, but hell if I’m going to go see it again. Do yourself a favour: Do not see this movie. It’s not even that good when viewed as its own movie and not part of the Alien franchise. I was able to predict four or five jumpscares in this movie down to the second. It’s really predictable. And they said “fuck” way too many times. I’m clearly not averse to foul language, but they were really flaunting their 18A rating and using the word way more than it needed to be used. This movie is not worth your time. I’ve already given you a basic plot synopsis anyway, so just reread this if you’re considering seeing the movie. Trust me, I’ve saved you money, time, and rage.

tl:dr: Alien: Covenant sucked and I hate it. Don’t watch it.

[thewalktranscripts]

Episode 7: A Game of Chance

A safe house at last – time for some rest, perhaps, as long as Charlie's prepared the way properly.

Good Mood

[birdsong, and the sound of Lawrence whistling]

STANTON: You seem in a good mood today, Lawrence. Keeping up a brisk pace.

LAWRENCE: Me? Well, yeah. Good night’s sleep, pleasant company, great breakfast. Stretching my legs. Doesn’t take much to make me happy, Elizabeth. Or does anyone call you Liz?

STANTON: They call me Wing Commander. Or Ma’am. And I suppose at least it wasn’t breakfast of endangered waterfowl.

LAWRENCE: I- [sigh] Yeah. How you doing, Emma? See you put your earpiece in again.

EMMA: Yeah. No, yeah, so I was thinking about this, I think I’ve got it all wrong. I was just a bit panicked yesterday.

STANTON: Yes. We noticed.

EMMA: So listen. I’ve worked out what’s going on here. Do you want to know?

LAWRENCE: Emma. If you really know everything that’s going on here, I think I might just marry you.

EMMA: Someone got there before you. Not sure where he is now, though. Anyway. Okay. There’s only one thing that makes sense. Those people that are searching for us, The Burn or whatever: they’re using extra-terrestrial technology. That’s how they keep finding us.

LAWRENCE: Hmmm. You’re saying the people looking for us are... aliens.

EMMA: Don’t be ridiculous. Just their technology. Alien life isn’t adapted to our atmosphere so they wouldn’t go bumbling around in public. Everyone knows that.

LAWRENCE: Yep. Yep, yep. Should’ve remembered that.

STANTON: You did have quite a shock, Emma. It can have a strange effect on the human mind. I remember when my mother died, I lost my short-term memory almost completely for a few days. Orders, advice, couldn’t hold anything in my head. And I didn’t even like my mother. Believing this kind of thing is probably a symptom.

EMMA: But I didn’t just start believing it. I’m a paranormal researcher. ESP, mostly. But of course you do learn a lot about the hidden truths of the universe simply by exposure. So obviously I thought the tech Charlie was using was alien too. That’s why I was suspicious. Most aliens aren’t friendly to the Earth, you see, and using their tech can corrupt us. But I can tell that Charlie’s been in contact with the Race of Light- that’s a race that’s become so advanced that it’s converted itself into pure light.

LAWRENCE: Oh, yeah?

STANTON: Where is Charlie? She was supposed to check in with us at oh-eight-hundred hours. 

LAWRENCE: Haven’t heard a peep out of her all morning. Charlie?

Charlie? ...Hm. No, nothing.

EMMA: We’re in a deep valley here. Maybe her signal’s blocked. If we get to higher ground it might be clearer.

STANTON: Worth a try. Without her to guide us-

LAWRENCE: We could walk straight into The Burn’s arms. Okay, let’s get climbing.

Altitude Sickness

[birdsong]

LAWRENCE: [gasping and panting heavily] I can’t breathe properly! Is the air thinner up here? I think I’m- I’m suffering from altitude sickness.

STANTON: It generally doesn’t start to kick in until you’ve climbed more than five hundred meters. Any word from Charlie yet?

EMMA: Still nothing. Charlie? Charlie! Where are you?

[loud static and feedback starts coming through the earpieces, and makes Charlie’s voice all but inaudible]

CHARLIE: Walker, Lawrence, Emma, can you hear me? Can you hear me?

EMMA: Thank god!

LAWRENCE: Is that you, Charlie? You sound like you’re on a really bad phone line. [chuckles] Hey, remember phone lines? Heh, remember phones? Remember when our iPods worked and we could listen to music whenever we wanted?

STANTON: It was only a few days ago. Ask her where on Earth she’s been.

CHARLIE: Listen. You have to listen. I- [cut off by static] guys, I’m going offline for a while. I don’t know if [static] I hope it’ll just be a few hours.

LAWRENCE: W- what’s happened? Charlie, w- why are you going offline? Charlie?

CHARLIE: My communication systems are using a lot of energy to push through to you. Could be solar flares, could be The Burn, I don’t know.

EMMA: So where are we going?

CHARLIE: Craigarren House. Manor. South. They’re expecting [static] I’ve called and told them you’re coming. They’ll think you [static] I’m sorry, guys, just go along with whatever they’re expecting. They don’t know who you are. Remember, Craigarren House.

LAWRENCE: W- Charlie, wait. Charlie, we didn’t hear what they think we are.

CHARLIE: You are [static] go along with it. I’ll be back soon. Keep each other safe.

[The static cuts out as Charlie cuts communication]

LAWRENCE: Wait! [sigh] They think we’re what? Dead? Enemies? Jehovah’s Witnesses come to share the good news? What?

STANTON: We’ll just have to find out when we get there.

Craigarren House

[birdsong and crunching footsteps]

LAWRENCE: Craigarren House. Says so on the sign.

EMMA: Long driveway. Huge grounds. Massive mansion house. Are those tennis courts? I could get used to this. Maybe they’ll think we’re lords of the manor.

LAWRENCE: Is this a good idea? I mean, Charlie’s not here to check stuff out for us. Should we just walk up to the front door?

STANTON: No. We’re going this way. Round the side of the house. We’ll take the lay of the land first.

LAWRENCE: Hey, i- it is really big. Probably, what, like, thirty bedrooms? Looks like it’s at least three hundred years old. Uh, maybe there’ll be some kind lord or lady of the house who’ll take pity on us, treat us to a slap-up dinner.

EMMA: Look, the crest of the lion. That’s a very strong spirit animal, you know. Maybe they’ve been in touch with the spirit world themselves.

LAWRENCE: In a place like this, you’d expect a good larder. And a cellar full of aged port. Those boxes there in the kitchen- see them, through the window? I bet they’re full of brandy.

STANTON: They’re not.

LAWRENCE: How do you know?

STANTON: Because the lid’s come off that one. Look.

LAWRENCE: ...Right. Yeah.

EMMA: That’s not very in-touch with the spirit world.

LAWRENCE: A massive crate of guns? Nah. No, nah, it’s not.

[sound of a gun being cocked]

MAN: Hands up, all of you. Don’t turn around. Just start walking out to the stables, over there. I’ve been expecting ya.

Turn Round

[birdsong and crunching footsteps]

MAN: Alright, turn round now. [footsteps stop] Turn round and face me.

EMMA: Hey. Hey, listen. Whoever you think we are you’re wrong, okay?

LAWRENCE: Uh, yeah. Yeah. We’re just tourists. On a- a walking holiday. Er, this is my sister, Emma, and, er, this is my Auntie... Stanton. Yeah, er, yeah, uh, we’re a very formal family. Uh. Sorry. I, er, babble when I’m nervous. I- oh, please don’t kill us, please!

MAN: [laughs] You won’t get far in paintball if you turn sissy like that at the first sign of trouble.

STANTON: Paintball.

MAN: Did you think it was real? It’s just my little joke. Look. [fires two pellets which splat on the ground]

EMMA: Hey, some of that paint splashed on my leggings!

LAWRENCE: D’you think we can trust him? I mean, maybe he’s just acting innocent, and he’s gonna shoot us with- with a real, working, lethal gun when we get back to the house.

STANTON: Charlie sent us here for a reason.

LAWRENCE: Yeah, in a message we could hardly hear.

MAN: Come on, guys, this way.

STANTON: We’ve got to trust him. We don’t have another choice.

Guests

[birdsong]

MAN: Here we are: the main entrance. You’re guests, so you really should come in the front door.

EMMA: I like those great big marble lions.

MAN: Bonnie, aren’t they? We’re very proud of those sculptures. Apparently, they were modelled on real beasts shot by the fourth laird. Of course, he didn’t use one of these paintball rifles to do it.

LAWRENCE: I wish you’d stop waving that thing around, it’s making me nervous.

STANTON: It isn’t real.

LAWRENCE: That wasn’t what you said before. I thought you were supposed to know a real gun when you saw it.

STANTON: I was just biding my time. I know perfectly well it wasn’t-

LAWRENCE: You didn’t look properly. Aw, you were probably just trying to work out how to kill him with your penknife.

STANTON: Maybe.

MAN: Our phone’s been out of action, but somehow your friend Charlie managed to get a call through to tell me to expect you for a couple of nights’ stay.

STANTON: There, you see? Charlie did talk to him.

LAWRENCE: A couple of nights? Wh- in a real bed? With, like, a duvet?

MAN: I’ll show you to your rooms, and you can get changed into your overalls. There’s a venison stew with prunes and red wine warming in the oven. Or would you like a little drop of brandy first? To keep the cold out.

LAWRENCE: Brandy! Oh! [tuts] Honestly, Elizabeth. Mistaking birdwatchers for terrorists and paintball for a real gun. You’re jumping at shadows.

STANTON: I’m jumping at shadows? [scoffs] What about you and-

MAN: And there’s your opposing team now. They do look like real guns from a distance, don’t they?

EMMA: Opposing team?

MAN: Very competitive bunch, looks like.

STANTON: Yes. 

MAN: They’re setting the course on fire. Hey! Hey, you cretins! Hey! No! 

Not Another Paintball Team

[birdsong and crunching footsteps]

LAWRENCE: I think those might... not be an opposing paintball team.

MAN: Only people around here are paintballers. Or the grouse hunt, comes by sometimes. But I send them on their way.

LAWRENCE: Maybe we should go into the house, Paul. Where the venison stew is, you know. And the brandy. The lovely, warming, delicious, golden brandy. And the beds. And the door. That we can barricade. Against the... opposing paintball team.

MAN PAUL: I’m gamekeeper here. It’s my job to preserve the estate. The owners come back in the winter. Fire like that could catch, take down one of the trees, even the house. Hey! Hey! Stop that!

STANTON: They’re setting up assault positions to the east and the south. They’re planning an attack on the house.

PAUL: They are not. Mansion is strictly out of bounds on paintball adventure holidays. Can’t get the paint out the carpets. And some of that carved wood is Grinling Gibbons.

EMMA: Paul, what if we were to tell you that those weren’t paintballers at all? That they’re part of a shadowy organisation called The Burn who’ve been following us for days because we’re carrying devices that are vital to the human race’s survival?

PAUL: The Burn, eh? Sounds like you’ve got quite an imagination there. Now, had a group here once who wanted to pretend they were dragons. And the other team were, what was it, the people of Winterfell?

LAWRENCE: No, that’s ridicu-

STANTON: Gun! Down on the ground!

[everyone but Paul hits the deck]

STANTON: Paul! Down on the ground, they’ve got a bead on us!

PAUL: Those aren’t real rifles, they’re just souped-up paintball guns that some of the young people like to-

[rifle fires and Paul screams]

EMMA: Paul! Paul’s been hit!

PAUL: That’s- that’s not paint...

A green and yellow seed packet showing an image of a large, lush lawn fringed by trees under a clear sky. In yellow text in a green oval at the top left of the packet is the word “NEW!” with the name “Suregro™ Grass Seed” in green text over the image of the sky. The bottom half of the packet is solid green, with stylised blades of grass at the top and a slope upwards towards the right edge. In yellow text on this part of the pack are the words: “Tired of uncertain weather destroying your lawn? Suregro is designed to cling on in extreme climates - even underwater for pu to sixty days!” Beneath this, in smaller print: “Suregro is a Sanmonte genetically-patented product.”

An extremely crumpled and frayed flyer, the paper browned and stained round the edges. The heading reads “NEW RECOMMENDATIONS FOR EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS”. A line separates the heading from the following section, which reads: “Given the increase in extreme weather events in recent decades, all households are strongly encouraged to keep the following on hand at all times, in amounts suitable for sustaining your household for 3-4 months: * Shelf-stable, dried and tinned foods *Bottled clean water, and/or a purification system *Generous stocks of torches, batteries and a radio for tuning in to emergency broadcasts *Baby food and formula *Critical medications *First aid kit, including dust masks” This section is then separated from the next by another line. The final section reads “Remember, in the event of a disaster, shops may be closed or out of stock. By the time an emergency arrives, it will be too late to prepare. Hope for the best - but prepare for the worst!”

[scullys]

Lets say the person overdosed on paracetamol/ibuprofen, freaked out and puket out as much as they could, sat there for hours scared for their life but also unfazed and then hours later started to doze off, got terrified they were dying and went into hysteria so bad their housemate called up ambulance and two of their friends had the person taken to ER to check up. Then one of the friends ditched cause she got triggered and made it all about herself. Just telling the context for narrative purpose

Reason for doing such a stupid thing - feeling like you destroy everything you touch - friendships, relationships, family, school, work - and every single thing you do makes people run awayand yiu dont even understand what you did. Only after doing such thing as almost dying they come around. Some forgive you and say they will stay. Some say they can't look at you like this cause it's on their conscience. You know. People drama. Stupid stuff

well, i think the person should’ve probably gone to the hospital right away to make sure that they were being taken care of by professionals and that they weren’t going to die. now, regarding the reasons behind this, i’ve felt all of this, feeling like i destroy all my relationships (happened just recently actually), etc, but i guess i stopped caring after a while. and it’s been a very, very long time since i actually gave a shit about what people expect of me and gave in to my feelings, which is why i can’t quite relate to these issues anymore and why i’m so bad at comforting people. it’s understandable that some people will choose to walk away because of one’s certain behaviors. but you have to learn how to look at your actions from outside and know when things are your fault and when they’re not. if you have a low self-esteem or just depression, you’ll probably think it’s always your fault. but i guess one way to know is to think of the situation as if it were happening to a friend or a stranger. i think this is something one works out overtime and most of the time with a therapist. i “worked it out” on my own because 1. i hate the way my family reacts to stuff like this, like when they found out i cut and they said everything they could think of to make me feel guilty about it, and 2. i’m poor so i cant afford that type of medical help. thats another thing, i’m waaaaay too aware ALL the freaking time of the bad things going on in the world. a fucking dog was raped by a couple of dudes last year in my city and it died in the hospital from how fucking broken it was, and i dont react to these news like a normal person that feels horrible for a day, maybe two, and then forgets about it. this shit fucks. me. up. which is probably why i’m so lazy and annoyed at people problems like these. if i were in this person’s position i would not give a shit about those people that ran away. they ran away? good for them, fuck them. my “friends” only care when i’m about to die? my “friend” ran away in my time of need because she felt bad for herself? i don’t need that shit, i’m gonna find better friends or just stay alone, i’m sure as fuck better company than a bunch of fake ass shallow people. you need strong people in your life. you need to surround yourself with people who know who they are and know what they want so you won’t have to go through shit like this because the person who loves you will fight for you no matter what. specially in times like this. “because it’s on their conscience” fuck that. if its really on their conscience and they’re decent people they’re gonna shut the fuck up, suck it up and then make it up to you. not say it in hopes of making you feel bad about it because that seems to be people’s natural reactions when someone’s in need. they feel guilty or they feel bad and suddenly the person who was originally in need of comfort becomes the comforter. fuck that. don’t do that. stay away from people who turn you into that. love yourself. everyone is as important as anyone else. aka not important at all. there are black holes that could swallow the entire solar system, not to say the entire fucking galaxy and everything else in the universe would remain the same. and honestly, i love that. some people would be even more depressed because of it, but to me it helps to give me perspective. bullies? what the fuck are they in comparison to the shit thats out there? who am i in comparison? nothing. and it’s fucking refreshing tbh. it’s easy for me to say it now because i respect myself a lot now. but that’s not something i know how to give advice about. thats a process you have to go through by yourself i think. but i also realize that my interest in science had a big part in making me realize these things and that not many people have the same. idk what the point of this is but just that.. you know.. learn to love yourself because it feels really good and when you love yourself no one can make you feel like shit without your consent

[michellelewis7162]

Automatic Security Gates

Automatic Security Gates

 Security gates are actually the quick and easy means to promise the security of your house or service. Though best for big regions, safety fencing as well as electrical security gates are actually additionally practical for tool and little sized properties. Using security gates, has actually located its particular niche out there today. For those who find the surveillance of their grounds to become vital (be it domestic or even business), electrical security gates are the way to go.

 Automatic/ electricity security gates make surveillance less complicated and also easier. These systems enable you to open and finalize your surveillance entrance without even needing to leave the comfort of you car. At journalism of a button, your safety and security gateway are going to open up or even shut behind you Business Gates

 No matter what type of protection gate you put up, there is an automatic safety and security gateway for you. Gates might either be swing entrances or even slide gates. Swing gateways available exterior or inward - moving. They can be actually one-sided or even double-sided. One-sided swing security gates are actually constructed out of a single part. A double entrance possesses two segments that swing in or out. Slide gateways, perform certainly not sway but slide to one edge to clear or obstruct an entryway.

 Some automated electric security gates have extra surveillance attributes including padlocks, deadbolt padlocks. You can open or even close these hairs manually along with automatically. This is actually to avoid breaking up at the end of the safety gate so as not to make it possible for small animals or even pet dogs to get in or leave the facilities conveniently.

 To install a security gate your own self, all you need to have is actually to buy a package that may to become set up on a currently existing entrance. If you have actually no gate put up, then you will have much more choices concerning what type of security gate you want to install. There are many security gates available on the market. What you choose would depend on the specs of your actually existing entrance or future functionality of the safety entrance. The measurements, size, body weight, and also product may concern what form of automatic electricity gateway set you might utilize.

 Exactly how do they work?

 Automatic electrical entrance sets ordinarily have technical components to affix on to your existing gateway. These are actually handled by electronic circuits than may be powered through a n umber of various approaches. Some security gates are actually powered through electric batteries while others could be solar energy. For automatic electric gates, a transmitter and also receiver are consisted of in the plan. These are the devices that enable you to control the electricity surveillance entrance from afar.

 Rise Your Safety through Installing Security Gates

 Gates have actually consistently been a general criteria than a deluxe to any type of house. Occasionally a simple entrance just is not nearly enough to always keep the threats out, and also one thing more is actually demanded to keep the property safe. That one thing much more is surveillance. An entrance outside a property delivers you with the additional safety, which will aid you copulate a comprehensive peace-of-mind. The good news is, nowadays, individuals may integrate protection along with significant artistic attraction through picking protection gate to guard their valuable factors as well as adored ones inside the home.

 This entire concept of installing security gates is actually one that has actually aided manies thousand to improve the degree of security all around the globe. Along with the enhancing crime prices as well as the lot of bad guys as well as burglary happening all over the world, having more safety for a house is actually important. A safety and security gate is the best means to permit thugs and burglars understand that your residence is actually a bad intended for a burglary. They let the burglars and also wrongdoers recognize that you are actually conscious of a prospective attack and also have actually prepped your home presently.

 Through securing your building with noticeable safety gate, you are placing a wonderful barrier between you and risks. Many people assume that buying and also putting up a surveillance gate is going to set you back massive loan. The good news is, you may offset your price through hiring a professional business that gives gateway setup solutions. A specialist business fulfills your actual specs by offering you with entrance styles. Besides setup of gates, a reputed agency strives to create your house far more guarded and distinctive. Such business have a large assortment of gateways to suit individual requirement as well as budget plan.

 Decorate your building with an ideal gate while guarding on your own coming from criminal offense. These gateways additionally keep your kids and also pet dogs protect at home. While you must spend a little loan, keep in mind the main thing this is actually heading to spare your prized possessions over the long haul. Simply think of the amount of would certainly you drop if any trespasser were actually to damage in to your home? Through installing gates, you can make sure that you do not need to work along with any type of primary complications later on.

 What makes a gate setup provider "The Stand Out Company"?

 - They custom style their safety and security doors depending on to the needs of clients and they are capable of creating an electricity gate to suit any kind of sort of residence, building or workplace.

 - Reputed companies make use of the most effective high quality products, which always keeps the gateway tough and also a lot better utilization.

 - Not only reputable providers produce very tough gateways, but they are actually likewise with the ability of producing gates that offer an appealing aim to the property.

 - The entrances of a trustworthy provider are actually both classy in innovation and also easy to use, as well.

 - The site of credible companies certainly not simply delivers appropriate product particulars, but also suggestions, and also assistance about what kind of gateway would certainly be better for you.

 Add extra safety to your house along with a surveillance gate. Is it best opportunity to protect residential property through installing a suitable gateway?

 Outcome: Check out reputable installation providers online that provide first class and budget friendly services.

 Why Should Anyone Consider A Steel Security Gate? Allow's Find Out

 After one has actually put up a residence, the next crucial point to take into consideration is property safety and security, and a steel protection gateway can be found in extremely handy. It is actually also necessary that one upgrades the simple preventative components around and also in the residence, and also look at featuring some superior high quality safety parts, which will certainly improve the home's security. One of the compulsory features that you have to consist of along with the protection gateway is a thorough alarm device, which simply enriches security over the steel entrance.

 A steel surveillance gate is actually steel made, which is difficult and also developers understand it for strength and longevity. This is the main reason that it is actually popular in development ventures, as well as numerous house as well as industrial property managers set up steel entrances predominantly therefore. The various other sort of gates that individuals get are actually just aesthetically enticing, but these do certainly not truly use complete safety and security as well as security in evaluation to tough as well as strong entrances.

 Ideally, security gates should to maintain undesirable people out and safeguard people inside, this implies that if your current gate is refraining from doing merely that, at that point it is actually very ineffective. Below are some of the perks that you receive along with a steel safety gate, and main reasons why you should create it a part of your home or even organisation security unit.

 Safety and security: Security is actually an obvious perk that you get along with a steel protection entrance, and this ought to be a crystal clear reason to get one. It is actually noteworthy that steel is solid and it is actually likewise incredibly tough to penetrate, as well as any sort of surveillance unit must create it hard for unwanted persons to go into. This kind of a gateway likewise permits you to put in CCTV video cameras because of their reliability, as well as strength.

 Cost performance: Metal is actually a lot less costly than lots of various other products for the long-term, which is due to the fact that it calls for low routine maintenance in comparison to hardwood or plastic which is actually likewise catching up in security gates. Obviously, you must prepare to invest a handsome quantity of cash to start with, however you recover the cost quite easily after that when you perform not possess to invest a bunch of money in routine maintenance.

 Aesthetic appeal: Not lots of folks regard metal to become eye-catching, nonetheless you are going to locate many concepts where you can opt for a perfect fit for your residence or industrial grounds, design and colour. There are lots of ordinary entrances as well as one of them are extremely aesthetically attractive ones, featuring modern-day gateways, rustic security gates unpainted entrances and also coated entrances. Undoubtedly, it depends on the area manager or lessee to decide what colour or look they desire for the entrance, as well as the product that they desire. Essentially, possessing a safety gate carries out not automatically suggest dullness, as well as the material carries out certainly not need to be unsightly regularly.

 The absolute most important thing to keep in mind is that a security gateway to a property is certainly not a need, yet it is a wonderful visual addition to a complete security body. This is simply another barrier that a thief will must endure if they insist on entering into the areas or even breaking right into a property. A gate is a very first protection series as well as might maintain criminal activity coming from happening to begin with.

 Security Gates

 Usually entrances have 2 reasons: mainly they need to be capable to protect as well as offer both bodily and mental security, then happens the attractive duty. Gates additionally broadcast powerful information about their manager and there are actually a selection of elements you may desire to take in factor when deciding on a gateway style for protecting your region. To start with there is the product. You can pick a wooden gate for creating a country or also fairytale environment around your home.

 There are actually numerous factors you must choose approximately, including the colour, the shape, the size or even the fiber of the lumber you prefer your entrance to be actually crafted from. However, timber gates ask for exclusive attention as a result of their level of sensitivity to environment or weather condition adjustments and to different pests and also pests. Definitely, wood gates are actually certainly not as efficient in supplying defense as steel gates for circumstances. Integrated with a black pet with slim and lengthy lower legs a double steel entrance is an ensured defense from undesirable visitors, yet in the very same opportunity may be elegant as well as when blended with an entrance hands free operation system, comfortable extremely.

 Nonetheless, if you need to have genuine security, decide on a safety and security entrance. There are a variety of providers that manufacture security gates not merely for domestic utilization, however, for office areas, schools or even healthcare facilities. Making use of a safety and security gateway allow you to momentarily block the gain access to in a specific place, however in the same time to be actually capable to go in and out in much more than two accessibility points. These gateways happen in different forms: they can operate as grills, shutters or even folding curtains. The safety grills from a gateway may either slide or even rumble, without wrecking the paint, permitting a lengthy phrase consumption of evictions. Safety grills are long lasting as well as could be put facing glass doors, considering that they permit great presence. Yet another plus to these gateways is that they are pretty cost effective and also perform not use up a considerable amount of room.

 Security gates work, not very costly, can easily be effortlessly manageable and carry out certainly not require a large space. Security gates frequently include various requests that produce you believe also more secure. They may incorporate accessibility management, correctional facilities or port authorization.

 When it pertains to your security, carry out certainly not create trade-offs and also perform not work out along with anything much less than the very best. Security gates possess to possess one thing added so as to give that plus safety that they are made for. Nonetheless, even security gates can easily have different layouts, various versions, and they may be produced of steel or light weight aluminum. They may also be garnished, can possess computerization systems and also accomplish a broadband working. This added that security gates offer in concerns of security does certainly not possess to be something expensive or something luxurious, however it is actually one thing essential for every residence, for each store, for every social area that needs protection on temporary or even lengthy term.

[k-zrant]

Why going to Mars is stupid

Most of my life people have been talking about going to Mars.  As a goal for a nation or the planet as a whole, to send people to Mars and take some selfies is not a bad idea.  It will require technologies be developed and people work on solving several problems that will be useful to the human race. However, it’s not the best idea if your goal is to build a colony and have people move there and start a life.  There are a lot of problems with going to Mars that have to be solved first.  No matter what you do, you have the problem of getting back from Mars, even if you make it a 1-way trip, you have to have some sort of exchange of supplies and resources. You will have to leave somehow and that would mean having the resources to escape the gravity and atmosphere of Mars on board when you land. You are taking everything you need for the return trip with you and that’s impractical on the colonial scale. 

We have many other issues with life on Mars, but the biggest issue I have is the waste.  Going to Mars and living on Mars is a waste.  The resources needed to get there and back will always be extreme.  Finding water and dealing with life on a hostile planet will be excessively difficult and costly. If the goal is to explore Mars and build a colony on Mars, then that’s the goal, but if the goal is to build a colony of Humans that live somewhere other than Earth, the solution is too expensive and there’s a much better solution. You can live on a space station. Maybe it’s in orbit around Earth, maybe it’s in orbit around Mars, maybe you put it between the Earth and Venus, while some locations are going to be better than others, in the end, you can put it anywhere you need it to be.  Getting too and from the space station will be relatively easy when compared to getting too and from Mars. Building the space station isn’t actually that complicated either. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not much different than going to Mars at this point in time, but over the course of development, building a space station is going to be a lot easier than you’d think. You don’t really have to take a bunch of stuff up into space, the way we do now.  In fact, you’d have to do something like build a starter space station, like the ISS, but you’d have to dedicate a lot of time and resources to mining asteroids. The asteroids will have the materials you need and you can smaller asteroids to your space station, mine the raw materials you need for construction, and you can hold on to the materials you don’t need, pulverizing it into sand, and use it as dirt for the space station. And you go out and collect asteroids and expand the space station.  You find asteroids that have ice and other compounds you can use and you add water.  And when you need to rotate crews, you launch a ship back to Earth and ships will come to the station from Earth.  You can build a bunch of these things, put them in close proximity and later on, connect them together.  This isn’t easy, it’s kind of a massive undertaking, but it’s also something that could be done on a private company level. Building a station on Mars isn’t really something that a company could do, or could profit from, mostly because of the amount of time it takes to get from Earth to Mars and back. We could do both, but the expense and complexity of building a colony on Mars require technologies to be developed and mastered before you begin. These are technologies that can be developed on Space Stations. You can build a station and mine resources and develop products in space and send them back to Earth or keep them for use in Space.  Maybe some go to Mars.  The thing is, you get better at building a habitat in space for human life.

Thinking more long term. The decade or so, we have had more than just our solar system to explore with astronomy. We have been looking at exoplanets and wondering if any of those have life like Earth. So far, planets and solar systems like our own aren’t really that common.  We are finding some, but we are finding different things more commonly.  A lot of the exoplanets that we are finding are large Gas Giants, like Jupiter and Saturn and they aren’t orbiting at the same orbits as Jupiter and Saturn, they are inside the orbit of Earth. That makes for a different kind of solar system. We are also finding what we call Super-Earths, rocky planets that are up to 5 or 6 times the size of Earth, with much higher gravities.  So if we are in the future to go to these places and build colonies out there, we have to think about what we are dealing with. Lifelike we have on Earth, the same gravity, the same conditions, that’s very unlikely.  Consider that since the dinosaurs have lived on Earth, we have had several Ice Ages, so realistically, an Earth-like planet will likely be Ice Bound.  We have warming at the moment, but over geologic time, the Earth is more likely to favor ice age conditions. And that’s the planet we come from. So while we can think of the tropical paradise of an island retreat as home, it’s more likely that it will be Greenland. This is what our home over the vast duration of its lifetime will be like. When we look at other planets around other stars, when we get there, we are likely to find frozen worlds over tropical paradise. When we go out to other stars, if we are set on building colonies on planets, we will always have to build around the climate, build for the new environment, and adapt to each planet we settle.  If instead, we master building stations, the stations will have the resources we need, they will be build to suit our lifestyles and will have what we want them to have.  They can be where we want them to be and they will have the life that we want them to have on them.  We will likely find someplace like Earth, but do we do more than study it?  If we adapt and develop a space aged civilization that focuses on living in space, on space stations and starships,  we can ignore the ethical and moral questions of what to do about contaminating other worlds or possibly contaminating ourselves with infections from other worlds. There is this same ethical question about going to Mars. Do we have the right to build a civilization on Mars? Is it right to shape and change Mars into the world we want it to be, especially in light of knowledge that we can build space stations?  What if we actually found out that there is life on Mars? Do we go then?  

I don’t know what the answer should be, it’s not one that needs to be answered in my lifetime.  But I would like to see humans in space, well on our way to being citizens of the cosmos, not people of Earth. The easiest and most efficient way to do that is to build colonies in space, on stations, using materials found drifting in orbit around the sun, and not building cities on other planets. It is a nice fantasy to think of life on a distant planet, but it’s far more practical to build something that doesn’t take huge amounts of energy to escape the gravitational pull and doesn’t have as many ethical complications as becoming an invasive species on another planet. 

Okay, so I was inspired to write this after I read an article about people who want to develop a grape so they can raise grapes and bottle wine on Mars. That’s when I felt the need to talk about this argument.  I know that further development of the Mars argument could blow my ideas, crude as they are, out of the water.  But the idea that someone wants to bread a grape that will thrive on Mars is novel, but to me seems irrational.  Solving all the problems to get a colony on Mars and bottling wine on Mars is crazy to me.  Not because the idea is so far out there, but because if you could raise enough money today, you could have a floating vineyard in orbit in about 5 years.  The first bottles of wine could be bottled in 6 years and the daring could drink it in 7, the snobbish could savor it in 15 years.  All the best conditions occur, all the ducks line up in a row, you could be drinking Martian wine in 25 years, but more likely 50 years from now. I don’t know that I’ll be able to drink martian wine in 50 years, I probably could drink Space Station wine in 15 years, and I probably could afford a bottle of it. 

[johnvonstach]

A Straightforward Analysis Of Identifying Aspects For Vs Products Inc

The Strategies To Know How To Find VPOWER ENERGY Solar Power Systems

The amount of cash that you’ll spend for the installation may also be a element.

You may save plenty of money in the future if you will get a portable solar power system.

They’re even hesitant due to the expensive startup price of this system.

The price of installation could be a bit pricey, but you must expect that the advantages will over-shadow the price. This is among the best advantages that you may acquire from solar power since if you are going to sell your home in the future, it will boost its value. Solar energy is recognized as a long term investment so you need to think about this fact very very carefully. The best thing about this is that the money that you’ll invest in the installation would actually be sent back in a few years from the savings. Solar power will likely be a sensible way to save lots of money over time. Home solar power has really become well-known over the years due to the various benefits that it may provide. By installing solar power, you may drastically increase the resale price of your home. Aside from increasing the resale price of your property and the savings that you will get, you’ll find other advantages that you’ll get from this.

Even though it is a proven fact that most folks don’t have any idea how to install this, you’ll find a lot of businesses out there that are ready to install solar power to your houses and companies.

It signifies that you can increase the resale price of your house and you may get the money that you spent for the installation.

Are yourself totannnlly mbesing about the health benefits of search solar power? Plus some people don’t decide much about for subject.Before but you decided to complete forward perform solar, execute a little research. To 60 seconds reading over to find consume better concerning solar energy.

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You you’ll also for position your daily solar panels very is implied by them tends to dig maximal sunlight. Whether you from juicing don’t decide where in direction of place them, take some your time so you can track where the that are sun’s method the leg that the as well as the consider the two seasonal change.

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To read more about vpowerenergy buy portable solar generator Sault Ste Marie visit https://www.johnvonstach.com

The post A Straightforward Analysis Of Identifying Aspects For Vs Products Inc appeared first on VSP North America.

from VSP North America http://www.johnvonstach.com/vs-products-inc/a-straightforward-analysis-of-identifying-aspects-for-vs-products-inc/

[businessweekme]

Nobody Is Ready for the Rise of the Killer Robot: Tobin Harshaw

It was another busy year for everybody’s favorite automotive-industry disruptor, space-travel visionary and potential James Bond villain Elon Musk. Tesla surpassed Ford and General Motors in market capitalization; the Gigafactory began churning out lithium-ion batteries; his neighborhood roofing company began installing solar panels that aren’t crimes against architecture; he’s sending two rockets to Mars; he started digging a giant tunnel under Los Angeles; and he dissed President Donald Trump over the Paris Climate Accord. (OK, he had a few misses too; just ask anybody on the Model 3 waiting list.)

Given all this, you may have overlooked another of Musk’s 2017 initiatives: saving humanity. Last summer, he and a bunch of other tech-industry A-listers — including Google’s artificial-intelligence guru Mustafa Suleyman — wrote a letter to the United Nations urging a ban on killer robots. The future dystopia they anticipate would make you nostalgic for Skynet:

Lethal autonomous weapons threaten to become the third revolution in warfare. Once developed, they will permit armed conflict to be fought at a scale greater than ever, and at timescales faster than humans can comprehend. These can be weapons of terror, weapons that despots and terrorists use against innocent populations, and weapons hacked to behave in undesirable ways. We do not have long to act. Once this Pandora’s Box is opened, it will be hard to close.

Meanwhile, the Pentagon was also writing a letter — its 2018 budget request asking Congress for $13 billion in science and technology money and another $10 billion for space-based systems. With all respect to Mr. Hyperloop, he’s going to find the military-industrial complex a much tougher foe than the dinosaurs of Detroit.

Nonetheless, as somebody who’s a tad nervous to be alone in the house with Alexa, I’d like to think there are folks involved with autonomous weaponry who share Musk’s concerns, if not his tired mythological metaphors. So this week I found one such person: Robert H. Latiff, the author of “Future War: Preparing for the New Global Battlefield.”

Latiff retired from the Air Force as a major general in 2006, last serving as the director of advanced systems and technology at the National Reconnaissance Office. Since then, he has worked in the defense industry and as a lecturer at Notre Dame and George Mason universities. Here is a lightly edited transcript of our discussion:

Tobin Harshaw: General, you left the military more than a decade ago, so why come out with this book now? Did your experiences in the private sector and academia inform your view of the “new global battlefield”?

Robert Latiff: Well, I’d actually been thinking of this since back around the time of the invasion of Iraq. When I saw some of the things that were going on, not the least of which was Abu Ghraib, they bothered me a lot. Then I went to work, as you might expect, as a defense contractor, and it was not a bad job. But neither there nor while I was in the military did I actually hear anyone ask whether we should be doing some of the research we were doing. You know, some of it was a little scary — I don’t know that it was necessarily unethical — but nobody ever asked the question.

TH: Can you give an example or two?

RL: Generally, some of the things that had to do with biology were a little frightening, things like synthetic biology where you don’t really know the ultimate implications. And some of the work with electromagnetics was a little scary, particularly as it had to do with humans and lethality.

TH: Got it. So you spent some time in the private sector, and …

RL: When I finally left and began teaching and doing consulting I had some time and these things were still bothering me, and I contacted the people at Notre Dame. They jumped at the chance of having me put together a course, which became hugely popular. Ultimately I was asked to write a book nominally but not totally based on the course I was teaching.

TH: And how did the students at Notre Dame react to the material?

RL: First of all it frightened them a little bit. I think they were probably more surprised than anything else. Many of them had never had any exposure to the military at all.

When you start talking to them about some of the newer weapons, it kind of blew their minds. For many of them the first response was, “Yeah we’ve got to do this.” But when I started asking them to think about the ethical implications, they sort of stepped back from that, and I think they really got a lot out of it.

TH: As long as there’s been warfare, there have been arguments about the ethics of warfare. Thomas Aquinas’s “just war” theory is probably the most famous. As we look at today’s technologies, which ones raise the biggest questions for you viewed in that long tradition?

RL: I think that artificial intelligence and autonomy raise probably the most questions, and that is largely because humans are not involved. So if you go back to Aquinas and to St. Augustine, they talk about things like “right intention.” Does the person who is doing the killing have right intention? Is he even authorized to do it? Are we doing things to protect the innocent? Are we doing things to prevent unnecessary suffering? And with autonomy and artificial intelligence, I don’t believe there’s anybody even in the business who can actually demonstrate that we can trust that those systems are doing what they should be doing.

TH: Well, we know that a lot of people are worried about this. Last year a bunch of tech-industry bigshots wrote a letter to the U.N. urging a ban on killer robots. There was a group that held a meeting in November, under the authority of the Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons that tried to get the ball rolling on a global ban. To me, this honestly sounds like a lot of do-gooder nonsense. But do you think an international effort can be made to limit the sort of apocalyptic level of things that people worry about?

RL: I do think that there is, and there should be. Incidentally, the people who are supporting this weapons ban actually contacted me at one point. And my response to them was that I don’t think it’s do-gooder nonsense. I think it’s the right intention but it’s the wrong approach. And let me explain. First, I don’t think bans ever work. And second, I don’t believe developed nations are going to participate in a ban. And so whenever you ban something, pretty much it just goes underground and you can’t police it because in international law there’s no policing.

I am a big fan of arms-control agreements and nonproliferation agreements. Countries like the U.S. and Russia and China, they’re going to do this regardless. And if we could create some kind of arms-control agreement where we could maybe limit the things that we do collectively and have some kind of verification regime — and more importantly, agree to try to at least contain the proliferation — that would be a step forward. Yes, places like North Korea and other rogue nations and ISIS, they’re ultimately going to get some of this stuff. But it would be a lot easier to police and verify an arms-control agreement than a ban.

TH: I’m also a big fan of nuclear nonproliferation agreements. But with that, we’re talking about major hardware and a vast industrial base that you need to build the stuff, and then actual nuclear material that is hard to produce and hard to hide. Whereas with AI and cyber weapons, production is pretty easy to hide. How do you do verification?

RL: Well, that is the question of the day, and I don’t have any pithy answers, other than to the extent that we can create some sort of verification agreements. The major powers are pretty good at that. With today’s agreements, we have overflights of Russia and they’ll overfly us, and we’ll take satellites over there and they’ll bring satellites to look at us.

So with new technologies, we’ll need to get some opportunity to just go into these laboratories and see what they’re doing, and we’re pretty good at projecting what their real capabilities are. I don’t know exactly what a regime would look like, but it would clearly be better than just having a ban and trying to find the needle in the haystack.

TH: A few months ago I interviewed former Deputy Defense Secretary Bob Work, who oversaw the Barack Obama administration’s cutting-edge Pentagon modernization..  He calls this initiative the “third offset,” and says it is necessary because our great-power competitors, Russia and China, are achieving parity with our “second-offset” guided munitions and integrated battle networks. Do you view the challenge of the future in that same way?

RL: I do and I agree with the secretary that they really caught up with us. Just look at the recent demonstration of Russian cruise missiles in Syria — those were pretty good cruise missiles. With things like autonomy and artificial intelligence and hypersonic weapons and electromagnetic weapons, if they have not achieved parity, they’re coming up really quite fast. So we won’t have the third offset for nearly as long as we had the second offset.

TH: Right — the advantages of the first two offsets, first in nuclear technology and then in precision weapons, lasted decades. This one is probably more short- to medium-term. So, given that, which of these new technologies should the Pentagon be focused on?

RL: I think we still have an advantage in autonomy and cyber. I think the one that worries me more than any of the others, and it isn’t clear to me that we actually have an advantage, is electronic warfare. I’m not necessarily talking just about huge nuclear electromagnetic pulses, I’m talking about everything from very small electronic warfare to great big electronic warfare.

TH: Such as jamming systems?

RL: Well, jamming systems is one. Or electronic pulses that could either destroy or interfere with some of our electronic systems. It’s a little bit like cyberwarfare, but it’s using electromagnetic pulses. And then battlefield weapons that incorporate microwaves and things like directed energy beams.

TH: So, not just killer robots, but also “Star Trek” phasers. Speaking of which, we know that outer space is, under U.N. treaty, supposed to remain unweaponized. But I think it’s on the verge of getting weaponized pretty quickly. China, Russia and even countries like India are putting a lot of money into space. Do you think we need a space nonproliferation effort?

RL: I would personally welcome a space nonproliferation effort. Again, I think the major powers are probably not anywhere near wanting to do that. When you say “Star Wars” or “Star Trek,” I don’t worry so much about that — battles going on in space. I even don’t worry about the stationing of weapons in space that might have an effect on the Earth. If you know anything about physics and orbital mechanics, that’s just way too expensive.

What I do worry about is that the U.S. — and increasingly China and Russia — is extraordinarily dependent on space systems. Everybody knows that. And so a ground-based anti-satellite system, or lasers or electromagnetics that might interfere with the functioning of our very critical space systems, or even on-orbit systems that might interfere with or ultimately perhaps destroy one of our satellites — these are all extremely worrisome.

TH: What else keeps you up at night?

RL: The whole approach that the DoD is taking to autonomy worries me a lot. I’ll explain: They came out with a policy in 2012 that a real human always has to be in the loop. Which was good. I am very much against lethal autonomy. But unlike most of these policies, there was never any implementing guidance. There was never any follow-up. A Defense Science Board report came out recently that didn’t make any recommendations on lethal autonomy. In all, they are unusually quiet about this. And frankly, I think that’s because any thinking person recognizes that autonomy is going to sneak up on us, and whether we agree that it’s happening or not, it will be happening. I kind of view it as a head-in-the-sand approach to the policies surrounding lethal autonomous weapons, and it cries out for some clarification.

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