#your britishness is safe with me 🫶🏾

[kulemii]

i gotta have some british people following me. SHOW YOURSELVES! i got an english question lmao

edit: done, thank you <3

[rayasland]

⌗ HASHIRA ICKS ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁

➜ a/n ; my apology for being off for a while 🤭 also, HAPPY LATE NEW YEARRR!! i cant believe its already march MASTERLIST WILL BE REOPENED SOON 🥲 part 2 when i decide to get my lazy ass out of bed [TYSM FOR 200 FOLLOWERS ILYSM 🫶🏾🫶🏾]

➜ warnings ; swearing, not proof read so expect some mistakes

➜ genre ; crack, fluff(?)

★ MITSURI !

she would DEFINITELY act like those vsco mfs. like you would be meeting up for a study date or something and she'll bring out the largest water bottle known to man and all while you stare at her struggle to lift it out her bag. to this day you wonder how she's able to carry that around everyday.

her nicknames get progressively worse. she goes from "hey my love!" to "i love you so much my beloved pumpkin kitty kat sugar boo boo!!"

i feel like she'd also be those mfs that make it so obvious someone is talking about them. except she does it by accident. "babe," you whisper, "see that dude behind our table? he's my ex. you remember elijah right?" and then she's turning right around, pointing and saying out loud, "elijah? ohhh your ex!" you just facepalmed as your ex turned around, giving the two of you a dirty look.

she'd try way too hard to seem intimidating (canon) but no matter how much she tries, as soon as the person she's arguing with says something rude back, she's sobbing on the ground. "ugh your lipgloss is soooo outdated." she says rolling her eyes at the person that insulted you. "you're one to talk about outdated. you have fucking scrunchies and a huge ass hydroflask that you never really even drink from anyways. also, those bracelets you're wearing are the presents i got for my 5 year old niece. on top of that you act like regina george from wish.”

you best know the next day she came into college looking like a whole other person. soon she got really popular for having the “glow up of the year” (i am having way too much fun with this 😭😭)

★ TENGEN !

overuses the same jokes to the point where its so cringe you have to cover your face out of second hand embarrassment. "why did the cow cross the road? to-" "-go to the moovies. i know," you say rolling your eyes. “how did you know!” he asks and you just stare at him like 😃

also texts like a he came straight out of youtube comments. "No one: Absolutely No one: My dog: Me: *laughs at a fish dying*" "HAHAHA BABE UR SO FUNNY HAHAHA" while in real life you’re texting that with a face straighter than drake (friends suggestion bc i literally asked her who’s the straightest person she knows)

he talks and acts like a british dad😭😭 “hey darling me and the rest of the lads are gonna watch the new chelsea game against arsenal.” and u think nothing of it until u start hearing them shout “PASS THE BALL YOU FUCKING TWAT!” and cheering as loud as if he were at a concert when his team scores.

he’s terrible at thirst traps ☠️ you were at an important work meeting when you heard a ding from your phone. it was a message from your husband. “Hope you enjoyed the show baby girl 😻🥵🍆” and you try your absolute best to not start bursting out laughing when you see the video of him thrusting his hips into the camera like ricardo milos. and to make things worse, one of your co-workers looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at and immediately started laughing. then everyone wanted to know what you were watching and the whole room erupted in giggles. safe to say everyone would make references to the video whenever uzui was around while the guy himself kept wondering if they were talking about him or it was just inside joke he doesn’t know about☠️

★ RENGOKU !

speaks really loud for no damn reason... (canon)

like you would be talking shit about someone in the cafeteria the he would be speaking so loudly basically the whole world could hear him. "babe, you know jessica from class 2?" you whisper, "yeah apparently she was caught fucking Mr Wilson to get a higher grade in chem.."

"i always knew jessica was a slut!" he practically screams, earning a few turned heads. "i could tell just by the way she walked up to me on wednesday!" you facepalmed as he continued to ruin not only his reputation, but yours as well. "and did you see the way she was practically begging for sir to screw her! like this girl would do anything to get laid!" by now the whole cafeteria (including the dinner ladies) turned to look at rengoku. some laughed and some gave him the nasiest look they could muster (her friends).

you were NOT surprised when an angry jessica made her way to your table.

he leaves the bathroom door open after he’s taken the most stomach-churning, revolting, nauseating, egregious, execrable, beastly shit so whenever he leaves, the horrible stench of shit makes you want to vomit your dinner out. and to make things worse, he always and i mean ALWAYS forgets to flush the toilet.

the smell was so bad you considered if it was a good idea to let him live with you.

“kyo.. do you mind closing the door after you do your business in the toilet and flush the toilet?” it was like talking to to a kid “or at least use the air freshener so i don’t have to smell it.”

and you almost rejoiced to the Lord when he immediately agreed and promised he’ll remmeber to close the door behind him (he still forgot a few times but it’s fine i think 😁).

all his clothing from socks to even underwear are fire themed. your friends always wonder how you manage to walk out standing next to him, who’s wearing a fire hoodie, fire trousers to match, and trouser nike’s. you once took him shopping so he can actually find another fashion style he likes instead of dressing like a 13 year old boy from 2015 but he resisted and continued arguing about how fire is like his own watermark. you eventually just gave up and suck it up when people on the streets laughed at him or gave him weird looks. he’s lucky you love him so much.

* RAYASLAND … 2023