#your art is the best thing to ever grace this earth btw

[florenceisfalling]

AAAAAAAAA

happy holidays from sir glitch bitch. also new art style!

this anti belongs to @florenceisfalling ( @from-mister-madness )

[giorno-plays-piano]

Soooo first of I'm really REALLY happy that I've found your blog and your writing is AMAZING ❤️ And I wanted to ask for a Yandere! Loki x Reader maybe? Were the reader just has a normal life but then Loki sees her while the battle in New York and he can't get her out of his head. And he decides to kidnap her and bring her somewhere nobody can find her. (Sorry if there are mistakes English is not my native language 😅)

Thank you so much, dear! I'm so sorry for being slow with requests. I hope you will enjoy this one! Btw I’m not a native either, but I think your English is totally good 😌

Of gods and monsters

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, implied stalking, kidnapping, allusion to non-con.

Words: 1165.

P.S. Of course, I just had to include one of those overused quotes 🙄

____________

Watching you sleep became one of his favorite things a long time ago, but watching you sleep on a magnificent, enormously big canopy bed meters away from him gave Loki a very different kind of satisfaction: he thought the feeling of owning you could explain it, but there was something else to it, something he couldn’t quite comprehend.

When he first saw you, it was barely the time to get distracted: Chitauri were flooding into New York, and he was fighting Avengers to complete his glorious mission. Yet that was the moment when Loki spotted a lone woman sitting on a bench near a small fountain, a book in her hands when she stared somewhere in front of her, not moving yet showing no great distress. You just sat there, in the heat of the battle, with Chitauri flying over your head on their vehicles. Strangely, you were unharmed while everything around you was promptly getting destroyed.

You reminded Loki of a sacred statue, an ancient deity carved in stone, silent and cold. You cared little for destruction and death surrounding you, deaf to sharp cries of pain and screams. Frozen in place, you were staring into the abyss, and the abyss didn’t frighten you.

Of course, much later, when the Avengers were defeated and Loki gained control over the Earth, he learnt that time you were under heavy medication, indifferent to the world surrounding you, but he didn’t change his mind, watching you secretly from afar. No, you were exactly who he saw you were, and the more he watched, the more Loki knew he couldn’t just leave you among those pathetic human beings surrounding you.

When you shifted slightly beneath the silky rose blanket, his gaze returned to your peaceful face, and Loki sensed you finally waking up: the sleep potion he gave you wasn’t a strong one, but, locked in a human body, you needed a gentle treatment.

Moving your head on a pillow, you covered your eyes with your palm, rubbing the skin a little before you slowly got up; the curves of your body now on display because of a shiny see-through fabric of the ivory nightgown Loki dressed you in. Enjoying the view, he smiled when he realized the potion was still working: your movements were slow and clumsy; you didn’t ever register waking up not in your own bed.

“Did you sleep well?” He raised his voice once he spotted you trying to stand on your shaky legs, and you slowly sat down, turning your head to him.

You were looking at him with almost the same eyes you looked at the fountain that day in New York.

“I did.” You muttered in a quiet voice, observing the man you saw for a first time in your life silently. “Thank you.”

Letting out a soft chuckle, he stood up from his place and headed to you nonchalantly, giving you a chance to look at him in all his glory: enveloped in warm, dozy light, he was that God the short-sighted, foolish humans had always been searching for. But you weren’t one of them, he knew, and he wasn’t surprised when he saw the blank expression on your face instead of adoration and fawning. You were above all that.

“Who are you?”

You were still quiet when you asked Loki a question, and he felt a strange satisfaction seeing you reacting with such grace. When he stayed silent, your eyes starting darting towards the room if you could call this space a room at all. Of course, you had never been to Asgard and could barely imagine what it was like: a place he brought you to looked like something in between a huge hall and cherry gardens lit with light as if Loki brought the sun inside. There was even a little pond surrounded by pale marble stones, and you could see something gleaming in the water. With a lavish, dark-wooden canopy bed, dressers and vanity, it all looked breathtakingly beautiful, but... fake, phantasmagoric, like a composition in an art museum, carefully constructed but having no connection to reality. It was as if this place were frozen in time.

“You have always liked Greek myths, haven’t you?” Loki said, stopping only when he reached your bed and sat close to you, bringing his hand to the back of your neck and softly brushing his fingers against your warm skin. "I remember you had so many books about ancient gods. If I piled them up, they could reach the selling of your apartment."

For the first time, Loki felt you trembling just a little at the mention of your apartment and clear implication that he had been there. Funny, but the fact you were a little scared of him now gave him satisfaction, too, and the way you looked at him told the man you started being aware what exactly was happening.

"What was your most favorite myth, once again?"

Slightly massaging the back of your neck, he then set his hands on your bare shoulders, squeezing them tight until you tensed; he started rubbing them once he felt you flinching. Loki didn't need you to answer his question: he knew well you loved the story of Hades and Persephone. It seemed amusing, if not ridiculous to him that people find this barbaric ritual romantic, but maybe it was for the best: if you liked this odd tradition so much, Loki decided you would find his gesture sympathetic and even compassionate.

Despite the fact you were now aware the man close to you was not a human being, you looked at him with dignity, "Are you a god of the dead, then?"

"Sometimes I am." Tilting his head and letting his long black hair fall on your bare shoulder, Loki touched your cheek with his thumb, and you felt his breath on your skin. "You don't have to worry, I'm not dragging you to Hell, darling, though I won't let you return back to Earth either. This 9 to 3 months rule seems quite silly to me."

"Back to Earth?"

He saw the confusion and visible discomfort on your face when you realized you weren't even in your own realm, and a wicked, sadistic pleasure rose somewhere inside his chest; pure joy washing over him once the realization hit you. There was only one God in front of whom people of Earth were kneeling now.

"Why are you frightened? I expected more from a girl who didn't run from death in New York." You got up on your still shaky legs with Loki watching you with a wide green on his face when you grabbed the headboard, almost falling down: were you truly thinking of escaping him now?

Oh, he was enjoying it so much more than he thought he would. Maybe there was something in that silly myth you humans loved so much, finally.

"If you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

____________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[suhoerections]

OH MY GOD THIS BLOG TURNED 1 ON THE 21ST AND I FORGOT ASKDJFHASJKF BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUHOERECTIONS AND EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS I’M GONNA GO ON A RANT ABOUT MY MUTUALS UNDER THE READ MORE TAG OKAY BUT BASICALLY I LOVE ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS YEAR SO INCREDIBLE <3333

also shout out to all my followers i’m not mutuals with but enjoy my content and reblog/like my work, I really appreciate yall, keep up the good work you’re all beautiful

okay this isn’t in any particular order i’m just going off who i remember and i’m trying to not miss anyone so if i do feel free to call me out and also i’m sorry if i don’t write as much for some people asdfjkhasd

@ninibears-erigom

okay look,,, you’re literally such an amazing person and the reason why i didn’t straight up deactivate in january like you helped me so much during that time and also through so much other stuff and I’m so thankful for you,, you’re one of the most realist and most amazing people I’ve ever met. I love you so much you’re literally the best mother i could have ever asked for like i want to squeeze the life out of you god. I seriously cannot express how much i love and appreciate you like?? I’m tearing up writing this because you’re literally one of the most amazing people to walk this Earth like??? and even though i’m a shit head and i spam you with ‘ayla’ 20 times just to tell you i did a good shit,,, you still love me?? also like you’re literally the reason i write???? that sounds so dumb but you’re seriously my muse,, i genuinely look upto you as a person because you’re so strong, wonderful, amazing, genuine, beautiful, sweet, caring, kind and that’s all i can think of off the top of my head. I love you so much and I have to cut this short cause i’m gonna feel bad cause i wrote so much asdkjfh but you’re amazing and i swear if you say otherwise i’ll eat all the lactose in the world (i cried writing this stfu) also you are nini’s cheek spreader :>> 

@thesoondongiefiles

You’re like?? my literal best friend?? and probably one of the best people i’ve met on this hell site,, i really don’t regret randomly messaging you “hey i need aussie friends” asdkjfh but fr i love you so much and you’ve been with me through thick and thin and i really appreciate it so much like you’re so amazing and kind and your art is actually so beautiful like you’re such an amazing person you don’t even know the start of it you dummy. I love how we can be ourselves around each other even though we haven’t known each other the longest but still, you’re my favorite soondongie and i love you so much man,, like we talk so much you’ve literally just become the older sister i never had and i really appreciate that like man idek what to write cause i just really appreciate you,, you’re just amazing and i love you very much and i hope we can meet one day cause you’re not that far away from me and i really love you ehehe 

@chanyeolol

KUKI MY FREAKING CHILD I LOVE YOU AND HELL YOU’RE SO AMAZING OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG idek kuks you’re just the best and you’re like the first mutual i made on this hellsite and damn you’re also like the best?? like i love how hyperactive you are you dummy you keep me on my toes and i love talking with you even if it takes me days to reply on instagram (sorry i’m barely active there askdjfh) but fr i love you very much and i really appreciate you and you’re so freaking BEAUTIFUL and i’ll bop you on the head if you say otherwise you dummy i love you

@letsmakeitforever

FUY MY GOD like i pray to you everyday smh i love you,,, like you’re amazing and cute and like you’re so NICE jesus christ i want to hug the shit out of you,, you’re sweet as fuck and istg you’re just great?? and i love that i can talk to you about sucking Jungkook’s dick cause like almost all my mutuals don’t stan bts so its nice to have an army friend,, i also really appreciate you and the support you’ve shown me and i always try and send you asks but i never know if they get through because my tumblr likes to fuck up but bottom line is i think you’re literally one of the most amazing people akjsdfha

@kyungseokie

OH BOY HERE COMES A TRAIN WRECK,, dia,, my child,, i love you very much and you always make me DIE with those freaking things where you just cut the conversation short and go “hey junmyeon would fuck you in a change room” LIKE JESUS CHRIST LET ME BREATHE but at the same time i sorta just drop like ksoo bombs as well so aksjdfhkj i guess its fair hehe but seriously!!! i love sharing ideas with you cause you’re literally so creative and you’re so amazing and have such a way with words like your writing is so magnificent no one can compare like you’re a poet with words akjsdfhkajs and you’re such a sweetheart too?? like i could write a whole ass page filled with positive words to describe you because you’re so beautiful and sweet and kind like gosH you’re such an amazing person i love you very much <33

@heonythighs

well howdy partner welcome to ram ranch askdfjhds gosh the horniest cowboy ever, 10/10 commentary, you’re amazing to converse with cause you’re just greaT and like idk you’re just super fun to talk to?? like i always laugh my ass off when we converse cause you’re a comedic genIUS i swear and you’re also the horniest chanyeol stan i’ve ever met oh god asdkfhasdkj but you’re jsut a really fun person and you’re also so amazing in general like fr fr your cowboy hat should have a label on it that says “i’m the best cowboy fuck all you bitches” like ugH i love you you’re so cool and just so chill i hope you have a fun time at ram ranch with your cowboys

@byunfirstlady

LAURE LOOK NOT TO PLAY FAVORITES BUT YOU’RE MY FAVORITE MUTUAL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ASDKFJHAS like idek how to describe it but i could write so much about how much of an amazing person you are like you’re so cute and sweet and you always tag me in stuff (i need to tag you in more bbh adkjfh) but you’re such an artist like your work is so amazing!! i always feel so inspired by your work and it never fails to make me write!! you’re also the sweetest person on this site and your tags make me  c r y   like Laure you’re just so beautiful and sweet and i just combust because you’re so adorable,,, i want to hug you you’re so amazing and you’re so sweet ugh i could go on forever about this because you’re such a cutie i swear and you’re so fun to talk to as well like i really like discussing my fic ideas with you, especially the bbh series i’m writing askdjfh anyways i better stop before i take up a whole thing of why i love you so much you’re adorable <333

@flowerline8

ugh my number 1 nini stan !!!! i love writing nini stuff for you because you’re just so amazing and i love your tags they always make me smile,, you’re also adorable and funny to talk with and you’re also super beautiful ??? like i think its illegal how beautiful you are btw like its just the law,,, you’re under arrest for being too beautiful, sweet and kind. Like ugh Pauline you’re so sweet i want to hug you bc you’re so sweet but then again you’re so chaotic it makes me laugh adskfjhas like idek how to describe it but its so funny but fr fr you’re so sweet and you deserve everything <33

@fairyyeols

SIENNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY OTHER MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!! gosh what a hoe i love you akdsfjhasjk you’re also too sweet like >:(( call me cute again i dare you like YOU’RE the cute one in this relationship smh,,, pcy agrees kdfak but ugh you’re just so nice i swear to the lord above god was making you in his little bowl and accidentally dropped all the sweetness in your mix cause you’re just so sweet omg,, like Enna you’re so amazing and your writing!!!! *chef kiss* exquisite just like you. You’re also hella funny??? like you’re sweet AND funny like that’s not fair, you’ve gotta have something else bad about you but no! cause guess what! YOU’RE ALSO SO BEAUTIFUL WTH!?!?! so you’re beautiful, literally the sweetest person alive, funny as and am an amazing author,,, like you’re too perfect for this world,,, you’re such an amazing person i hope you get everything you ever want <33

@multi-yeol

GRACE AKJDSFHKSJ i remember the first time we talked was such a mess jesus christ you’re so chaotic i love it and gosh you’re also so beautiful, funny and amazing?? like you’re gonna look at this and go ‘no i’m not’ but you are just saying asdkjf you’re so sweet and like a genuinely good person??????? like how can you be both that and super freaking beautfiul??? my tiny brain can’t comprehend your amazing-ness,, you deserve the whole freaking world you sweetheart asdfhkdh 

@cbxtual

Hope, my fellow weeb,,, we don’t talk as much but i do miss it! you’re funny and a great friend and i really miss all the times we’d say dumb shit with grace in the group chat aksjdfhak you’re also really funny and like?? idk you’re just great in general?? like your writing,,, god tier,,, your personality,,,, amazing,,, your looks,,,,, beautiful,,,, like Hope, you’re the full package man ugh and I HOPE you have a great time hehehe (sorry i couldn’t help myself) akdsjfhas but i’m still writing that yoongi fluff for you its just buried under all my other wips but i will get around to it adsfkjah

@naminalati

all i have to say is you’re the kindest person to ever exist and we haven’t talked much so i can’t really say a lot sorry but you’re just so kind and sweet?? like you’re the literal definition of a sweetheart and you’re the cutest person i’ve ever witnessed <33 I hope you have an amazing day because i really appreciate you and you’re just so amazing and beautiful and i have no idea how long you’ve been following me but you’ve been there for ages and i appreciate it 

@abunnycotton @khelmatic @yayitsjay @k-pop-trashx 

OKAY so i’ve never talked to any of yall but like !!!!! i see yalll in my activity a lot and i just want you to know that i really love and appreciate you all because you’re all beautiful sweethearts who deserve the world, thank you

[thedragonsexcalendar]

The Great Re-Branding (Logo) of 2019

Stupid Font

Back in 2015, when the first edition of the Dragon Sex Calendar (DSC) was released—I had designed the whole thing with zero anticipation of longevity. The calendar was simply a silly concept, yet one that might have a chance of succeeding, due to its stupidity alone. So I hired artists to paint gorgeous images of dragons banging, designed the calendar, built an accompanying Word Press website modeled after a Harry’s Razor’s website (LoL). I did all of this just to prove to myself that I could do it. Nike status. It was one of those ideas that if I didn’t follow through on I’d beat my self up for eternity about. Just like not telling that special someone you loved them, or not being able to apologize for something wicked you said to someone in your youth and you have no way of finding them now to properly apologize. I never anticipated that the 2015 Dragon Sex Calendar would sell out—elevated to cult status thanks to a post on Reddit in a subreddit called r/thisiswhyimbroke (thanks Adam at thisiswhyimbroke.com, BTW). So, all this to say that in that hustle and bustle of creating the first DSC I went with one of the first fonts I found on dafont.com that I felt worked. Times have changed. And I hate my current font. Sorry, "Motion Picture" font! I will always appreciate you.

Branding Crisis

Ever since the aftermath of the success of the Dragon Sex Calendar, I’ve had a branding crisis. I’ve been battling between two different "company” personas. How do I present myself? How seriously do I take myself? Do I position the calendar as a super-serious piece of art and market it that way? Or position it as a silly product, filled with subversive humor—marketing it under the guise of “seriousness,” (and everyone is in on the joke). These types of questions have had a big impact on the overall design over the years—everything from the printed calendar itself to the website, and especially the logo. The results have been a weird hodgepodge of both ideas. A deformed hybrid. This is what the homepage looked like back in 2015. Quite charming actually.

Sad Interlude

Short interlude. I’ve had a rough 2019. My wife and I miscarried twice. In May of this year, my brother Philip died in a car accident. He left behind a pregnant fiancée, who gave birth to my nephew Sullivan a month ago (he’s the spitting image of his dad BTW and I’m going to spoil the fuck out of him). The grief around the loss of my brother and our miscarriages has drained me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It’s impacted my relationship with everyone in my life. I’m quicker to anger than before. Things stress me out easier. I’ve had trouble focusing. But, I’m getting better. I’m aware of my grief and my “new normal” and am trying to forgive myself for setbacks but also work harder on loving those around me. All this to say I haven’t able to focus on the calendar or put much energy into it at all. For the last few years, and during all the heartache this year, I’ve known that I’ve needed to fully dive into the Dragon Sex Calendar as a brand. I’ve been ignoring it and taking it for granted. And in a way, refocusing on it has been a bit healing for me. It’s a place to put all this energy. And the first step in diving back in has been to get some professional help.

Re-Branding

Yes, I’m seeing a therapist but I’m talking about a BRANDING therapist. Enter Seafoam Media out of St. Louis. One last thing—my brother left me some money when he died. His best man speech at my wedding he spoke about how proud he was of me, at the man I’d become, and how I’d always followed my dreams, no matter how stupid. This was a direct reference to the Dragon Sex Calendar. The only way I could have ever afforded to work with a creative agency was through his grace. Thank you, Philip. I love you.

I’ve met with the agency, Seafoam Media, a few times now—most recently this last month. I a 4-hour brainstorming session with their team of experts; the social media person was there, along with the google analytics person, the copywriter, and mega supervisor who knows everything. They gave me some insanely solid advice. I’ll go into that in another post. Needless to say, the Lil’ coal in my heart was ignited by the kindling of creativity. (Barf-worthy analogy).

I’ve been making updates to the website over the last month. Which, if you’re a regular visitor you’ve probably noticed. This will continue to be updated as I come up with more and more ways to optimize and bring you guys value. Because that’s the whole point. To build a community of people who love this stupid-ass calendar and return time and again to look at my content. I can’t wait to engage with you people.

via GIPHY

On to the crux of the branding crisis. In many ways, the logo IS the product. It IS the company. "It is known." (said like Ygritte from GoT).

A good logo adds an extreme amount of value. Knowing this and not doing anything about it is something I’ve been struggling with for 5 years. And it’s finally time for a change. So this font is what I’ve been using since 2015. I want to take this “logo,” wood-burn it into a baseball bat, wrap the baseball bat with barbed-wire, and pay someone to shove the barb-wire-wrapped baseball bat up my ass 3X.

Although I’m an Art Director by day, I’m shitty at logo design. Super shitty. And tbh, sometimes the last thing on earth I want to do when I get home from designing things all day is to do more design work. So….I’ve hired an amazing agency to design a new logo for the Dragon Sex Calendar. Check out their website https://coldcastlestudios.com. This shit is amazing. Here are some samples of their logos:

My direction to them in this process was literally, "We realize how stupid the product is but we're positioning ourselves as if we take ourselves completely seriously.” With that in mind, here is a sneak peek, guys, of the preliminary look and feel of the logo. I put a bunch of ridiculous watermarks over the logo for some reason. The next round is going to include a design with a frame around the logo, a la the World of Warcraft logo—to see if that looks good and serves the logo.

I simply cannot fucking wait to reveal it to all of you. I will finally have a brand. This brand will live across all print and social media. It’s the next chapter in my company. And I couldn’t be more excited. This logo will provide the base for future, ridiculous calendars, pins, coloring books, electric cars, personal spacecraft, and dolphin tattoos. Let me know what you think of the preliminary design in the comments below. I love you all!

[fictionfreakazoid]

Klance dance headcanon

because who doesn’t love a dance headcanon? (it’s totally ok if you don’t, respect)

So, the first episode of season 3 where Allura was worried about appearance and diplomacy and how they really didn’t have that much to worry about with that because the aliens were barely making it and had bigger concerns than clothes and stuff makes me wonder if the team will ever encounter a place that refined to where they would have dancing and feasts, but one can hope. Assuming they free a place that has those kinds of luxuries and they actually do have to be diplomatic and have to attend a feast and dance/gala, here’s how I think it would roughly play out:

Pidge could be like Haruhi from ouran high school host club (a quality anime that you should totally check out if you haven’t seen) and would be surrounded by lots of girls who wouldn’t know (and, since it’s space, wouldn’t care either) that Pidge is technically a girl (with the whole bathroom scene and people referring to Pidge as she, I’m kinda confused on whether she’s nonbinary or if she’s just a tomboy) who think that Pidge is cute and charming. Pidge gushes about tech and all the girls try to bring their coolest tech and try to impress Pidge with it and they’re all lowkey fighting for Pidge’s affections and Pidge is eating all of it up

Coran is just going all out, dancing flashily with his extravagant energy and amusing everyone around him and having a blast

Allura is beautiful, graceful and courteous, dancing amazingly and discussing politics and strategies with the diplomats and is an inspiration for all

Shiro (forgetting all the clone stuff for a minute) is probably killing it in an amazing tux, chilling lightly in the background, also discussing strategies with diplomats and courteously accepts dances when they’re offered to him (though internally he’s hoping desperately no one asks him, he’s a stud so of course plenty of people ask him to dance)

Hunk and Lance’s parents made them take dancing lessons among many other things (sports, academic camps, arts, you name it) as kids so they’re both great dancers. Hunk, of course, has to thoroughly analyze the food, but he also has some fun dancing and just goes around the place, making jokes and chilling out and chatting with various people. Lance definitely has gone to plenty of parties before (and probably dragged Hunk to some of them) and is completely in the zone at the gala. He goes around dancing with girls and guys alike, learning some new alien dance moves and showing other aliens (what is the species neutral plural? is there even such a thing? idek) some “Earth” dance moves and they’re all exchanging their alien cultures (alien is a relative term, it’s all about perspective, to every planet’s species all other species from different planets are aliens). 

Keith hangs out with Shiro at first. Not one for parties, he feels really out of place, a wallflower (btw, here’s a great book recommendation: perks of being a wallflower). He talks with a few diplomats, but he’s awkward and can get uncomfortable with talking to strangers. He walks around and watches everyone having fun from a distance and soon feels really depressed and alone. Everyone is caught up with what they’re doing so no one notices him. He sees Lance dancing with another alien guy and that he looks like he fits so well there. His competitive feelings for Lance make him jealous that he’s doing so well here and sad that he just doesn’t belong anywhere near here. Keith knows that this isn’t what he shouldn’t be worried about and that he’s just there to do his best as a defender of the universe and the leader of Voltron, but he just can’t escape his social anxiety. It’s boiling up inside him and overwhelming him with sadness when suddenly Lance catches his eye. Their eyes are locked together for a moment, but then Keith just looks down and leaves the room. Lance, realizing how Keith must feel about the party, stops dancing, excuses himself and goes after Keith.

Keith is against a wall outside the ballroom, wiping his blade. 

Lance, walking up to him, sympathy in his eyes: Keith?

Keith, finally looking up: Yeah?

L: Are you ok?

K, hesitant: Yeah, I’m j-just not a party person...

L, in a playful and comforting, reassuring tone: Well you also said that you weren’t a leader, but you’re turning out to be a great leader. *in teasing tone* And as leader of Voltron you should be diplomatic and join others in their customs. We’ve fought crazy aliens in dire circumstances, are you really afraid of a party?

K, breaking down: I’m just not normal like all of you. I’ve never fit in at these sort of things and I’m just a loner.

L: Keith, the universe doesn’t need a “normal” person as the leader of Voltron. It needs you now, and you’re special. And you’re not alone anymore, we’re all here for you and *blushes* care about you. We’re all a family now and we’re gonna stick through this, together.

K, soft smile: Thanks, Lance. But I still don’t know how to do this whole party thing - 

L, smiling deviously, taking Keith’s hand and blushing: Shut up and trust me.

Lance quickly takes Keith back to the ballroom before he says anything and they’re on the dance floor. 

Keith, starting to panic: Lance what do you think you’re - 

Lance, smiling as he takes Keith’s hands: You might be the leader of Voltron, but you’re gonna have to let me lead this.

Keith, begrudgingly accepting that he was stuck doing this: You know I don’t trust you doing this.

Lance, flirting: Neither did I when you took us off a cliff, but I survived your craziness, now it’s your turn.

Lance starts slowly leading Keith. Keith nervously tries to follow his lead. Lance whispers while looking into Keith’s eyes, “I’m right here with you.”

...

Every time Keith stumbles, Lance smoothly gets him back into step. Keith starts getting the hang of it a bit. They’re teasing (flirting with) each other quietly throughout. They eventually become the center of the dancefloor and everyone stops and watches. But at this point, Keith has trusted Lance and stays focused on staying in sync with him and is *secretly* enjoying himself dancing (thanks to Lance of course). When the song ends and they stop, everyone claps for them and they’re both just blushing and smiling embarrassedly and Keith’s and Lance’s hearts have melted from dancing with each other. Then Lance takes Keith (as in Keith holds on to his arm because he’s still nervous) and they dance and have fun at the party with the other aliens. 

[maevelin]

Acowar Review

So now that time has passed and I can view it from a distance time for me to review A Court of Wings and Ruin.

However there is a lot of salt. I can’t help myself.

So...Acotar was a difficult read for lack of a better term but Acomaf was a great improvement. However Acowar was by far worse than Acotar and that says it all. While Acotar had a more or less simplistic story Acowar was convoluted and chaotic. It aspired to be something that it never became.

But before I get to that let me start with the things I actually liked. The book continued the story of characters I love so there had been certain emotions that made the whole journey worth it. There was humor in the dialogues. Certain interactions were amazing. The mythology. The species. The universe. The world building. All interesting, Some descriptions made your mind create great pictures. Most of the imagery was beautiful. Rhysand's introduction in the old war was great and promised greatness. There were certain meaningful phrases inside the book that were amazing. I am admittedly also emotionally compromised with many characters ever since acomaf and I just adore them and nothing with change that. In fact I am not ready to let go of these characters so i will stick around with all the art and fanfiction and discussion.

But in general the whole book was a hot mess. Especially structurally.

It was messy. Sloppy. As if the writer wrote without coherency and just wanted to get out a story no matter what but without any care for the outcome. The pace was wrong. Reading at a point became a hard slog. The book didn't need to be so many pages. It could -should- be at least two hundred pages less. There were no layers. You were being hit over and over in the head with heavy exposition and explanations and repetition. Over and over and over again. It was exhausting.

The exposition was really heavy. This was more of an awkward narration at times and more telling than showing.

Technically wise certain use of vocabulary at times felt wrong. As if the writer was using a thesaurus but not in the right way. And then certain words that sounded nice were being repeated constantly (resplendent much?). But that was a constant theme for more parts than just nice words. The editing was truly terrible. I honestly cannot wrap my mind around the fact that this draft actually got the green light for publishing. It needed more work, more smoothing, more refining. There were glaring mistakes and a constant repetition of words and phrases. This happened in the previous two books too but in this was completely out of control and there is no excuse for it.

Eyes that kept shuttering along with my patience. Star-kissed and night-kissed and wind-kissed and all the -kissed and on top of that all the -flecked. Constantly. Feyre could have sworn so many times.  The former and the latter kept going back and forth. More hands in pockets and a lot of purring. Not recognizing enemy from...foe! (seriously!) At some parts I actually yelled frustrated.

This was like the first draft that someone went over quickly and ...published. Even fanfics get more attention than what I read.

Talking about fics. I am all for smut. I really am. Give me all the smut. Hardcore. Romantic. Hot, steamy, slow, fast. Whatever. I am here for it. My mind is already a gutter anyway. But even the sex scenes were a bit awkward at times here.

Now as you kept reading the writer kept hyping and hyping and hyping and then the actual climax of the story was...anticlimactic. Infinite use of deus ex machina resolutions. I found myself rolling my eyes many times and there were many cope outs in general. Melodrama and ridiculousness all around. The solution to many problems was childish and explained sloppily.

As for the hype thing. Now there is the GRRM kind of writing where everyone dies and then there is the twilight saga pattern where no one dies. SJM falls to the second category. It was completely unrealistic. Commit to the nature of your story and the building you actually made throughout three books and actually give a pay off. But...nope. And yes I would be devastated to lose some of these characters but at the same time it would be a compliment to the story.

Moving on. Unfortunately I felt that Rhysand had lost a lot of his charm and became a bland character except from the moment where he screwed over Morrigan which was okay I guess since all his feminism begins and ends with Feyre. But it is also okay because Feyre in her inner monologues keeps reminding us over and over and over again why Rhysand is perfect. And even basic human decency (like postponing sex for a few minutes in order for Feyre to visit for the first time in months her sisters after the traumatic events in Hybern) is elevated in his case and romanticized because obviously no other person can act that way so it is compare and contrast. It became a constant. For Feyre to praise Rhysand for everything even when he was coddling her when she was messing up.

And mind you that Rhysand is one of my top three best and most loved characters in the Acotar Universe. He still is. But still some of the things in this book irked me the wrong way. Less is more. Yes we get it Rhysand is perfection on earth (well ...yeah lol) but we don't need to be told constantly and his flaws do not need to be presented as character strengths.

Then on the other hand Feyre kept thinking at so my parts of how great she was. What great spy she was. How much of a powerhouse she was. It was annoying. In Acomaf Feyre had become more tolerable for me (I am generally not that fond of the classic YA special snowflake -Mary Sue- heroine with everything in her arsenal that is so damn powerful and special and unstoppable and perfect and can do fits no one else can without any logic or foundation for being able to do so) but here she irritated me again.

And it was as if all the character development for Rhysand and Feyre ended in Acomaf. The fell into a stalemate in Acowar. No progress. No continuation for their growth.

I found Nesta and even Elain at most parts of the book to be the saving grace of the story along with Azriel and Cassian and Lucien (which btw we get that he is Hellion’s son no need to keep reminding us with every sentence! We got it the first 100 times). Secondary characters were far more interesting like Kallias, Viviane etc.

Nessian was also one of the best if not the best parts of it (due to their chemistry in their dynamic and how their interactions complimented their strong traits along with their flaws too) and of course Nesta's character development was incredible.

And then...there was Morrigan. Dear Morrigan. Well Morrigan was there. Or at least a version of her. But THE Morrigan had taken a leave of absence (at this point my salt actually freaking intensifies!!)

Morrigan's characterization took a major hit in this book and I am still in mourning for that. There were offensive aspects when it came to how she was treated here (along with the general LGBT+ representation in general). No grace or class at all. I have many issues with how many parts of Mor’s characterization were handled in this book. And even though I liked the backstory with Andromache there were things that I did not like at all considering the way Morrigan's story was build in Acomaf. Also as I have said THE MORRIGAN has been MIA and if anyone finds her please contact me asap.

On another note the lack of names also irritated me while the use of religious mythology was over the top. We got the Moses parallels and just had the nameless King of Hybern and Lucian Vanserra but any last names were too much to ask I guess.

Other parts in general were simply introduced in the story only to set the foundation for the next spin offs of the series but they felt way out of focus and place in this book here.

Now on a more personal note when I had finished Acomaf I was completely devoted to Feyre’s and Rhysand’s relationship. And I got in Acowar with the same excitement for them and ...I turned into a frigging salt factory! The magic was gone. What made them tick in the first and second book was toned down. They did not push each other. They did not challenge each other. They communicated by only patting themselves on the back. They kept screwing up over and over again and then they were congratulating themselves. It was such a saccharine annoyance. And while their bond was really strong something felt amiss. But I still loved them. I still rooted for them. Until the last three pages of the book. Where I wanted to take it and throw it out of my freaking window!

The last bargain between Feyre and Rhysand was just so horrible. In Acomaf they pushed through all the shit and tried to balance themselves into a healthy dynamic and all of that progress WAS GONE IN TWO STUPID PAGES THAT WAS THE CONCLUSION OF THEIR WHOLE STORY. It left a bitter taste in my mouth and I am so sorry their journey in the books that centered around them ended in this way. It was problematic and toxic and a big no no for me. That was not romantic at all. It was enabling a sick codependency that leads to suicide for one of them in the end. Thanks no thanks.