#youngblood enthusiasts rise

[allhereincolour]

youngblood really is just a beautiful fucking album for like no reason at all

[be11atrixthestrange]

Step 12: Asking Her To Marry You

From 12 Fail-Safe Ways To Charm Hermione Granger

(Which is now complete!!)

Check it out on Ao3 or FFN!

————————————

Asking Her To Marry You

At this point in your relationship, you’ll hopefully know her well enough to plan the perfect proposal. But don’t worry too much about perfection— if you’ve followed our advice, she’ll be charmed enough to say yes to an imperfect one too. So alas, this is where our guidance ends, your future together begins. Best of luck!

————————————

Ron chuckled at the book’s irritating, yet unsurprising lack of advice. Annoyingly, the book was right— he no longer needed its guidance. What he needed was sleep, in fact, his body was now begging for it.

He set the book on the table beside him and curled up behind Hermione. With his face in her hair and his arm around her waist, he closed his eyes and was asleep in no time. Any anxiety about the next day was appeased by his dreams, in which his elaborate— maybe slightly exaggerated—  plan to propose went off without a hitch.

xxxxx

In his dream, Hermione was the first to rise— as usual, and Ron woke to the sound of the shower. Ron watched himself stumble out of bed and into the steam to join her, where she enthusiastically embraced him, jumped into his arms, and wrapped her legs around his waist. He pinned her to the wall and kissed her lips, her cheeks and her neck before working his way down her body. Dream-Ron moved his mouth between her legs while Hermione gripped his hair and slipped her thigh over his shoulder. Pleased with his own technique, Ron smugly watched on as Hermione unravelled, and he hoped that it wouldn’t be the last time that day Dream-Ron would invoke such an enthusiastic exclamation while down on one knee.

Almost too suddenly, the shower scene morphed and shifted like a memory transition in a pensive. Dream-Ron was in the kitchen, and Hermione was curled up in the living room with a book. Pots and pans sizzled on the stove, and the scent of a hearty breakfast filled the air. The tea-kettle whistled and he poured two cups before piling their plates high with food. They sat cozily on the sofa, eating breakfast and confirming plans for the day.

The walls of their apartment then faded away, rematerializing into what appeared to be a blend of a nearby bookstore and the Hogwarts library. Ron and Hermione were quickly engulfed by the maze of bookshelves. Hermione’s mind was always turning, looking for problems to solve and puzzles to complete, so she didn’t protest when Ron handed her the first book— Wuthering Heights, and told her he’d set up a puzzle for her to solve. In that book he’d dog-eared a page, and circled letters that named the title of the next one. Ron saw a smile spread across her face as she began her hunt, excitedly flipping through each novel until her stack included Wuthering Heights, as well as Iliad, Little Women, Life of Pi, Year of Wonders, Oliver Twist, and Utopia.

Hermione became so engrossed in the scavenger hunt that she didn’t notice Dream-Ron leave the bookshop. She had no problem finding the rest of the books, and was soon holding a stack of blurry titles which Ron knew to be Moby Dick, Alice in Wonderland, Robinson Crusoe, Rabbit Hill, Youngblood Hawke, and Mansfield Park. There was just one more to find— Jane Austen’s ‘Emma’, which happened to be a portkey enchanted to bring her to Grimmauld Place.

It might have seemed like a random assortment of books, but it wasn’t. Ron had spent significant effort locating these exact titles, and he could list them in order by memory, and as a result, they’d been swimming in his dreams for quite some time now. He knew Hermione was clever enough to figure out the pattern, possibly too clever— so much so that she might miss the connection entirely. After all, she frequently overlooked what was right under her nose.

As soon as she laid her hand on Emma, the walls of the Corner Books—Hogwarts Library hybrid started spinning, morphing into the drawing room of Grimmauld Place as if it had taken a long swig of polyjuice potion. Soon enough, Hermione was standing face-to-face with Harry and Ginny.

“Hermione!” Ginny said excitedly. “You made it!”

“Where’s Ron?” she asked excitedly.

Harry answered by handing her another scrawl of paper.

Meet me in the place we first kissed. You’re clever enough to find out how.

Hermione looked up at Harry and Ginny, letting slip a little huff of annoyance. “That would be the room of requirement.”

Ginny shrugged, as tight-lipped as Ron had told her to be.

“The only way to get there is with a house elf—“

“Keep reading,” said Harry.

Hermione glanced back down to the note.

Ps: Remember what I said to earn that kiss!

Hermione scowled at the note.

Harry nodded. “I can summon Kreacher if you want—“

“No!” she said, and Dream-Ron smiled. Just like at the battle of Hogwarts, he would never force house elves to be part of his proposal plan, and he understood her well enough to assume she knew that. “There’s another way.”

Harry smiled and gestured to the rest of the house. “Have fun.”

The world spun around her once again, shifting into another room upstairs. Hermione was suddenly standing in front of one of the Vanishing Cabinets that the Aurors had confiscated from an ex-Death Eater months prior. In his dream, the cabinet was a bit more obvious than in reality. It was tall, colorful, and bursting with energy as though it were alive, unlike the dull, dark, and sinister version that actually existed. Even though the cabinet looked fun and enticing in the dream, Dream-Hermione was still a skeptic, so she stood in front of it with her arms crossed, her face scrunched up as though it had called her a dirty word.

Ron had pulled some serious strings to set the second one up in the Room of Requirement, but luckily, McGonagall was as much of a hopeless romantic as he was. Hermione continued to study the cabinet from a distance, as if checking for dark magic, and he understood her hesitation of course— she had no way of knowing where its sibling was. She gingerly opened the door to find another note scribbled inside.

You found it! See you on the other side.

Hermione beamed, and then to his confusion, dropped her bag to the floor, hastily removing books. When her bag appeared empty, she piled two books back in— Year of Wonders and Emma.

Interesting. Ron wasn’t going to pretend to understand that choice, even in a dream-state.

He shrugged it off, which was easy to do once distracted by the look of pure giddiness on her face as she disappeared inside.

Grimmauld Place faded away, and its place appeared the Room of Requirement. Not that it was recognizable as such— Ron had asked the Room of Requirement to look a very specific way, and of course, it had obliged, exceeding all expectations. Hermione stepped out of the cabinet into what appeared to be a train compartment on the Hogwarts Express, just like the one where he had first met her.

She looked around, and tears filled her eyes as the memories of their first encounter flooded in. On the cabinet door was another note, which she unstuck from the wall with a trembling hand.

This is where we met! It’s also where I first realized how much I valued the opinion of that precocious know-it-all, Hermione Granger. I still check for dirt on my nose everyday.

Hermione shakily laughed, and wiped a tear from her eyes with her free hand. Then the train compartment doors slid open to reveal another room. This time it was a bathroom, much like the one where she nearly lost her life to a rogue troll when they were eleven.

She shuddered at the memory, but grinned when she noticed the writing on the wall.

This is where I learned exactly how desperate I was for your forgiveness, and how far I was willing to go to earn your friendship. Thank you for teaching me how to pronounce Wingardium Leviosa.

Her eyes watered again, blurring her vision so that she nearly missed the door sliding open again to reveal the next room. Patting her sleeve to her eyes, she stepped out of the bathroom and into the Great Hall, which was all dolled up for the Yule Ball. The Weird Sisters playing loudly in the background was a stark contrast to the soft decorations and draping lights which looked exactly as romantic as they did in their fourth year.

This time, however, the lights spelled out a message.

This where I realized I fancied you.

Hermione laughed, clearly not as saddened by the memory as she could have been. Instead, she appeared grateful for the event that made Ron’s daft teenage self realize she was not just any girl.

A pair of doors appeared across the room, and Hermione continued her way through, admiring the decorations with a soft smile on her face. When she exited, she found herself in the Gryffindor Common Room— more specifically— the armchairs and fireplace where they had spent so many nights huddled up close to one another, studying, talking, or simply sitting in comfortable silence.

Her eyes paused on a message plastered on the wall, just above the fire.

This is where I fell irrevocably in love with you.

She looked longingly at those chairs, like she wanted to take a seat by the fire and curl up with a blanket and a book. He could clearly imagine her eyes scanning the pages, her fingers drifting over the words as if touching them would make them real, and her lips forming into a content smile as the day’s stress left her body. It was a beautiful image of her in her default state, a picture that was one hundred percent Hermione. He’d never seen her happier anywhere else.

Dream-Ron had appeared behind her. He cleared his throat, and Hermione turned on her heels to face him, her eyes instantly re-watering at the sight of him.

“Hermione,” he began, his voice shaking with nerves. “I know that you don’t like surprises, so I hope this doesn’t come as one.”

Her lips quivered and she brought a trembling hand to her face to absorb the tears that were now falling freely down her face.

“I even spelled it out for you in the bookstore, so I hope you’ve had time to think of your answer.” She softly laughed and her eyes sparkled when he reached into his pocket and took a step toward her, lowering himself to one knee. With a shaky inhale to prepare, he asked the question. “Hermione Granger, will you marry me?”

Dream-Ron’s voice cracked like he was a teenager asking her to a dance, and he half expected her to look at him in confusion, and ask “what?”

But that’s not what happened. She was lost for words, and answered with her head which bobbed up and down as she ran toward him. He opened his arms to embrace her, but she halted.

“Wait!”

She dug into her bag, and pulled out the two books she had purposefully brought with her, Year of Wonders, and Emma. She handed them to Dream-Ron, who looked them over with an amused grin on his face, while she dove back into her bag. She pulled out a third— one that was not from the bookstore. Pride and Prejudice— her favorite book, the one she always has with her. It all made sense now.

Year of Wonders

Emma

Pride and Prejudice

Holding all three books, Dream-Ron smiled up at her. “Is… this a yes?”

“Well, seeing as I don’t have an S, it’s a ‘Yep’,” she said, before finally diving into his embrace as the books tumbled from his arms like basilisk fangs.

He had forgone all effort to keep from crying, and so had she. He momentarily pulled away from the hug to slide the ring onto her finger. It took a couple tries with their trembling hands, but then she fell heavier into his arms and he tightened his embrace. He lifted her up and carried her to an armchair, and they sat intertwined by the crackling fire, hugging, kissing, and crying into each other’s hair.

Ron half expected the room to shape-shift again, bringing them to the celebration at the Burrow where their families were waiting, but his dream never got that far. Their embrace in the armchairs began to feel even more real, and soon enough, the Gryffindor Common Room was fading to black.

xxxxx

Ron awoke in his own bed, his arms still wrapped solidly around Hermione. The sun was shining through the window, sending a beam of light to the floor where Crookshanks slept, belly up, as if he was trying to photosynthesize. Hermione began to shift restlessly in her sleep, groaning, as the light knocked on her eyelids like an unwelcome solicitor..

Reality set in, and it would have been easy to feel sad upon realizing his perfectly-executed proposal was all a dream. But instead, Ron just felt giddy with excitement. This could very well be the start of the best day of his life.

As long as everything went according to plan.

———————————————

“To Ron and Hermione!” exclaimed Arthur, reaching his champagne glass straight up into the air.

“To Ron and Hermione!” echoed a chorus of Weasleys, Grangers, and a Potter.

Glasses clinked, champagne splashed, and a beaming Ron slipped an arm around Hermione to pull her close to him. She tilted her head up to his, and he leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss. He felt her arms wrap around his middle and vaguely heard a few whistles in the background.

Ron and Hermione. It always had a ring to it.

No time had been wasted before preparing The Burrow for the celebration. CONGRATULATIONS was magically written on the wall in capitalized, tinsel-like lettering that flashed red and gold. Jean and Molly had prepared an impressive spread, which rivaled Hogwarts welcoming feasts. Hugo was already mentoring Arthur in the art of mixology, while Charlie and George eagerly volunteered to taste test each new cocktail. There was a cake shaped like an engagement ring, and it appeared that Ginny had gotten to it, because the words “about fucking time” were scribbled across in icing.

“So, Darling,” said Jean, as she refilled her champagne glass. “Aren’t you going to tell us how he proposed?”

“Yes, dear! Please tell everyone!” echoed Molly.

Hermione, who had just taken an unusually large bite of watermelon, replied with a look of surprise, as if for some reason she hadn’t expected that question. She slowly chewed, buying herself some time, and sent a panicked glance in Ron’s direction. A silent conversation followed.

How much do I tell them?

That’s up to you.

They squinted at each other for a few more moments, finalizing the details of their abridged story. Then Hermione turned back to her mom. “I’d love to tell that story.”

xxxxx

Earlier that day...

“Good morning,” were the first words Ron mumbled at the start of the best day of his life.

“Morning,” she muttered back.

He snaked his arm around her and pulled her close. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, sending him a look of slight confusion at his eager confession of love. “I’ll be right back,” she added before hastily untangling himself from her arms, and bolting to the bathroom.

Ron groggily rolled out of bed to get dressed for the day. He opened the drawer of his nightstand to find the small velvet ring-box, and slipped it into his pocket before hobbling into the kitchen to make tea and start breakfast. He filled two mugs and set them aside to cool off while breakfast sizzled on the stove. His stomach twisted in a combination of hunger and nerves as he shuffled eggs around in the pan, planning out how he would introduce today’s activities. Luring her to the bookstore should be easy enough, but he hoped she was feeling up to the rest of the adventure.

He heard the shower starting upstairs, and turned the stove down to low. Remembering the colorful beginning of last night’s dream, he stumbled back into the bedroom, hoping Hermione wouldn’t mind a visitor. He presumptuously pulled off his shirt before cracking open the door to unleash a flume of steam into the bedroom.

Ron froze at the sight of Hermione. The shower was running in the background, but she was crouched on the tile floor, hovering her face over the toilet while she wretched. One hand wrangled her hair behind her head, while the other supported her weight on the floor.

Fuck.

“Hermione,” stammered Ron. “Are… are you ok?” He rushed to her side and knelt down, taking her hair from her hands. He cleared some loose strands away from her face while she gently shook her head.

“No,” she groaned. “Not okay—” her body interrupted her as she heaved again.

“Well, shit, Hermione,” he said softly, hoping his disappointment didn’t sour his words. Hermione rarely threw up. In fact, the last time he recalled had been during a panic attack in Australia before they found her parents. It suddenly occurred to him that this was the first time he’d held her hair on a bathroom floor while she vomited into the toilet. He felt a strange sense of pride, as if they had reached a new relationship milestone.

As his hopes for a smooth-sailing proposal started to fade, there was a part of him that considered asking her right there on the bathroom floor. It would have been the least romantic way to do it, and she’d probably hate him for it, but he doubted she’d say no. Something about seeing her in such a vulnerable state made his heart swell, and he wanted her to know it was that it was her humanity that he fell in love with.

Fuck, he’d marry her on a bathroom floor with vomit on her face, no question about it.

She grimaced and groaned, then leaned over the toilet yet again, and Ron gently held her close and rubbed her back as she suffered through the next wave of nausea.

He could maybe wait a little longer.

Eventually she stood up and wiped her face, revealing an expression of utter embarrassment. “Thank you,” she whispered, pointedly looking away from him. “I’m going to shower now.”

Ron scoured his mind for something to say that might make her feel less awkward. His randy brain landed on, “do you mind if I join you?”

Hermione paused, then laughed. “You want to shower with me?” she asked incredulously. “After that?” she added, motioning toward the bathroom floor.

“Well… always,” shrugged Ron.

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t exactly feel sexy right now.”

He wanted to tell her how wrong she was, and that his attraction to her was unconditional, but worried it would have come off insincere. “Ok. Breakfast is ready in the kitchen—”

“About that,” she interrupted. “It smells wonderful but…” she trailed off, motioning to the toilet where she’d left last night’s meal.

“Right,” said Ron. “Would porridge be better?”

“Yes.”

“Ok then. Porridge it is.”

“Thank you.”

Once in the kitchen, Ron scraped the remaining eggs and veggies into a leftovers box, and stored them in the refrigerator, before getting started on a gentler, blander breakfast.

To contrast the flavorless porridge he was making, Ron’s mind shifted into overdrive, trying to rework his proposal plan to consider Hermione’s nausea. Portkeys could upset even the strongest stomachs, and the Vanishing Cabinet was no walk in the park either. He had planned to floo to the Burrow from Grimmauld Place after returning together in the Vanishing Cabinet, and at the very least, they could always floo to the Burrow early…

Fuck.

Ron tried to keep an open mind about the day ahead. Maybe Hermione would be feeling better after her shower, and a trip to the bookstore would cheer her up. If that didn’t work, maybe his mum would be able to push the celebration back a day, and he could try tomorrow.

Everything was going to be fine.

He doubted that even more when Hermione never returned to the kitchen. Thinking he’d better go check on her, he left breakfast on the counter for the second time, and made his way back to the bedroom.

She had returned to the same place as before, crouched on the bathroom floor, head bowed over the toilet. She looked pale and sullen, and hadn’t bothered to change into day clothes or dry her hair after her shower. Her sopping wet hair stuck firmly to her towel which seemed to absorb enough water to save their neglected houseplants and she sat on the tile with the heaviness of a bag of flour.

“Hermione?” Ron asked tenderly.

She shook her head, and covered her face with her hands.

“You’re not feeling any better,” he said.

Hermione shrugged.

Ron willed himself to emotionally detach from the remaining images of Hermione in a bookstore, the Room of Requirement, and the Burrow and sat down next to her. With a closer look at her face he realized she was crying.

Fuck.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, as he slipped an arm around her. “I’m worried about you. You’re never sick.”

She turned into him and buried her face in his chest, mumbling something incoherent.

“Sorry?” he said, pulling her close to him so he could hear her better.

Lifting her face from his chest for a brief moment, she said, “We haven’t been spending mornings together.”

She was right, their schedules had never lined up enough to enjoy waking up at the same time, and as of late that was even more true. “Hermione,” he whispered. “Has this been happening a lot?”

Hermione nodded and pressed her face back into his chest. She spoke so softly against his shirt that he might not have heard her, but the words demanded his attention. “Ron, I’m pregnant.”

The images that had been dancing in Ron’s mind were still there— Hermione gathering books, searching for the Vanishing Cabinet at Grimmauld Place, wandering through Ron’s memories, and embracing him by the fire in the common room. It almost felt that his mind was expanding so that those images took up less and less space, because they weren’t actually real, and this was.

In all that extra space, his mind cycled through visions of his future, playing memories yet to be made. For the first time since he had decided to ask her to marry him, proposing felt like a simple task because he saw far beyond that now. He wanted to ask her, but then he wanted to hold her hair if she got sick again. He wanted to run out at weird hours of the night to buy the food she craved. He wanted to go to that bookstore, not so she could partake in his scavenger hunt, but so he could buy all the books about pregnancy and parenting.

“Are you serious?” were the words that tumbled out of his mouth, dripping with pure excitement. She nodded affirmatively, and an involuntary smile spread across his face.  He reached a hand to her cheek to wipe away a tear, before landing his lips on her forehead.

He felt her grinning under his hand, seemingly pleased at his positive reaction. Her excitement gave her next question a melody. “Well...what do you want to do?” She asked it confidently, like she already knew what he would say.

But she didn't know.

“I want to marry you,” he stated, like it was the most obvious question in the world.

She pulled away and squinted skeptically at him as if he might be joking, but there was nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

He then reached into his pocket, pulled out the ring box, and popped it open to reveal a beautiful solitaire ring— simple, understated, yet timeless, just like Hermione.  Then a smile enveloped her face and she didn’t need to say anything at all. She leaned into his embrace, and he felt tears leaking from his eyes, elation on his face, and nothing but happiness.

They sat there intertwined and crying for some time until he realized she’d never actually answered. “So… will you?”

She responded wordlessly, with an enthusiastic nod against his chest, and he slipped the ring onto her finger.

It really felt like the rest of the world had disappeared and they were alone, the only people that mattered. When reality started to filter back, Ron had to chuckle at the sudden realization of what room they were in. It was almost funny how much effort he had put into planning out the perfect day, only to propose to Hermione on a bathroom floor.

“I had a better plan, you know,” he said finally. “To ask you.”

She shook her head and mumbled into his chest. “This was perfect.”

Maybe it was. Their friendship began in a bathroom, as did their relationship nearly eight years later, so it was quite fitting that he proposed in one too. He’d have to save his scavenger hunt for another occasion, but that was ok. He had a lifetime of opportunities ahead.

To outsiders, it might not be the most romantic story. Luckily, Ron didn’t give a fuck what outsiders thought, because he had Hermione.

xxxxx

“We had just woken up and were getting ready for the day. We got to talking, and I asked him what he wanted to do,” she said, wiping a stray tear from her face. “He said ‘I want to marry you.’ I... didn’t see it coming at all.”

Ron was thankful for the fact that his lopsided grin was pretty much stuck to his face, otherwise he might have winced. As he had predicted, Hermione had left out the most important piece of information. Without it, it all sounded rather unremarkable.

“Out of the blue?” asked Molly, her eyebrows raised.

In his peripheral vision, Ron saw Harry and Ginny exchange a knowing glance.

“Out of the blue.” said Hermione, before taking another big bite of her watermelon slice.

“I think that’s so romantic!” Jean had one hand resting on her heart, and her eyes sparkled with tears. “Ron, did you plan it like that?”

Ron inhaled sharply at the sound of his name. “Um, well no, actually,” he said, sending a reassuring look toward Hermione. “I had something more elaborate planned.”

“Then what happened?”

Ron grinned as he watched Hermione show off her ring to Ginny and Angelina who had appeared at her shoulder. “I just couldn’t wait any longer.”

Molly and Jean’s soft smiles and sparkling eyes suggested they were satisfied by that answer.

The celebrations continued into the evening hours, and sometime after dinner, Ron appeared at Hugo and Arthur’s makeshift bar to find that Hugo already had a drink waiting for him.

“Congratulations again, son!” said Arthur, before engulfing him in another hug.

“Thanks Dad,” he said.

“I’m going to check on my future daughter-in-law!” he said excitedly. “I’ll see if she wants a drink.”

Arthur scurried away, leaving Ron alone with Hugo.

“I already made you an Alexander,” Hugo said, sliding the drink across the table to Ron. “Made one for Hermione too.”

Ron felt his ears turning crimson, as if he’d been caught in a lie. Now was not the time to inform Hugo why his daughter wasn’t drinking. He would just have to drink for two today.

However, Hugo was quite observant. In a whisper he added, “there’s no alcohol in hers.”

Ron met Hugo’s unflinching gaze, and the two men stared at each other for an uncomfortable pause. The tension finally broke when Hugo smiled, and Ron felt a wave of relief. “How did you know?”

Hugo chuckled. “I’ve never seen her eat watermelon.” He took a dramatic swig of his own drink before continuing. “But Jean couldn’t get enough of it when she was pregnant with Hermione.”

Ron glanced over at Hermione, who was working her way through yet another slice of watermelon. He tried to remember the last time he’d seen her eating it, but was drawing a blank.

Hugo brought him out of his memories. “I guess our conversation about contraception was for shit.”

If Ron had just met Hugo, he might have put more effort into formulating a diplomatic answer. He might have interpreted his pursed lips as stern disapproval rather than a weak attempt to prevent himself from laughing at his own joke. He definitely would not have burst out laughing and answered the way he did.

“Total shit.”

Encouraged by a few cocktails, Hugo grinned widely and unleashed a hearty laugh. Then he did something surprising. He put down his glass, circled the table, and opened his arms to embrace Ron.

“I’m happy for you, son,” he said softly. “I hope you’re happy too.”

Ron saw no reason to hold back his tears, so he didn’t. He had always assumed his future father-in-law would consider Ron's happiness simply an extension of his daughter’s, but Hugo proved him wrong. This was a man who cared about him deeply, as if he was his own son and Ron could feel it. “I’ve never been happier.”

Hugo pulled him to arms length. Ron noticed a tear on his cheek and felt another wave of connection with the man. With a pat on his shoulder, he turned back to the bar and grabbed both glasses. “Now go have a drink. Have some fun,” he said before adding with a wink, “while you can.”

Ron found Hermione discussing wedding plans in the living room with Ginny and Angelina, and slid into a seat on the armrest of her chair. He pressed the glass into her hand and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “non-alcoholic.”

She looked up at him and mouthed, thank you, before leaning against him while he slipped his arm around her.

Ginny was smiling at them as more Weasleys piled into the living room. Seeing Ron and Hermione together ignited another toast from the group. “To Ron and Hermione.”

“To Ron and Hermione!” echoed the crowd.

Plus one.

He’d never been more excited about anything in his life, and it was clearly evident by his expression. When she clicked her glass against his and looked him right in the eyes, he saw his own elation reflecting back at him, and knew she felt the same way. They had come so far, but their story was only just beginning.

[legendsmag]

A COMPLETE RUN DOWN OF THE 2020 LEGENDS AWARDS PERFORMANCES

WINNIE KANE

Winnie Kane opened the evening with a double performance of “Lose You To Love Me” and her latest single, “Look At Her Now”. She started off a little shaky but that’s to be expected with a less experienced performer, especially on one of the biggest stages there is today. Visually she looked incredible. The black and white filter was a really nice touch. There were some timing issues, some pitch issues and I kept waiting for her to shake off the nerves, hoping that maybe something more high energy would help as she moved into “Look At Her Now”, it didn’t. Her dancing needs work, vocals need work, pretty much all of it needed several more days of rehearsal.

OLIVIA MARIE

The pick up in energy did take place once Olivia Marie took the stage to perform “Cool For The Summer” (very fittingly). She looked amazing, badass and much of that was reflected in her vocal delivery. The change of scenery was welcomed, she delivered her performance from the streets of LA, where the crowd seemed even more enthusiastic and loud. It was sexy, steamy and technically sound. This is how you deliver a performance.

RYDER TOMASI

The sole hip hop-rap performance of the night, Ryder Tomasi sings about “Stoner Girl” while clearly being inebriated himself. However it didn’t really distract from his performance. He did well for what it was, there wasn’t much expectation of anything better so Ryder did what hes known to do. Overall a fine performance. 

BELINDA BLANCHARD

Belinda Blanchard sings about how “California Gurls” are unforgettable while delivering one of the most forgettable performances of the night. Belinda, who is quite pregnant, pranced around in a metallic mini dress while doing half assed choreography with a set of backup dancers. You can tell her voice has some assistance, which isn’t uncommon during a performance, but it just made her sound fake and unenthusiastic. Not much else to say. She can do better, hopefully. 

MAXWELL HARPER-BENNETT

Maxwell Harper-Bennet never fails to be a crowd pleaser, even with a more mid tempo song like “Lights Up” he really gives his all on that stage. With very little production, mostly just him, a mic and a band backing him, he manages to shine and keep everyone invested in his performance. His little dance during the vocal break was very Max and you can tell that he honestly loves being on that stage. The audience backed him up on his last chorus continuing to prove he's a fan favorite. 

RYAN PRICE

Ryan Price mellowed things out with his performance of “Heart Out”, contrary to that of Max before him, but it works. His vocals were where they needed to be and he seemed to be having a good time up there, which clearly translated to the audience who joined in on the fun. Less spectacle, more music and it worked.

CALLAN DUFFY & MAIA KARIM

This performance was simply a beauty. Callan Duffy and Maia Karim are a duo that seemingly came out of nowhere but it works perfectly in the fact that it’s really a showcase of what happens when you bring two great talents together. Their voices blend so beautifully with one another, and Maia in a different stripped down setting was truly a sight to see. They suckered in the entire audience with this one, had everyone in the palm of their hands.

CHLOE ZUICQ & CARTER BLUE

Chloe Zuicq and Carter Blue were up next with a somewhat forgettable performance of their song “One Kiss”. Visually it looked really cool. The colors and stage production were lovely and, vocally, Chloe was near perfection but it just seemed rather low energy given the song they chose. It’s supposed to be a dance track yet Chloe, who we know is a great dancer, just kinda stood there swaying back and forth. Carter may have saved this performance just by live mixing it but honestly it was a bit of a low point in the show. Neither really put their all into it and it showed.  

QUINTON HARPER

Quinton Harper can sing! Vocally this was a huge stand out moment for the show. It wasn’t the radio version of the song everyone was expecting but honestly, this was way better. He did the entire first verse with minimal backup, proving to any of his haters that he really is that talented. Even when the band and backing vocals kicked in you couldn’t help but feel the passion Quinton brought with flawless vocal execution and the dance break on the rising platform was spectacular. 

LYNN SAWYER

The sole country performance of the night delivered by Lynn Sawyer did not disappoint. Her voice was on fire from start to end. Not shying away from the country roots and highlighting the banjo was a bold move, but that’s exactly what this entire performance was. Lynn brough the fire and owned that stage in a way no other performer that night had done. This performance felt straight out of a broadway show with it’s theatrical delivery and it was perfect. The choir was a delightful touch and really filled everything out beautifully. The lighting was stellar as well. The representation of country music was important and who better to deliver it?

ROMAN

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Roman deliver a performance, and it fit nicely into the program following Lynn’s fire. He kept things simple, but it was the unique nature of his voice that won over audiences. It’d have been nice if there was a little more energy kicked into him, but his voice emoted the song, “Take Me To Church” perfectly. The performance would have benefitted from some sort of spark or change of pace, but it served its purpose. The band sounded amazing, and that was what mattered here.

PENNY LANE

Penny Lane was next to take the stage and boy was this a performance you did not want to miss. She is simply THAT performer. We got the two sides of Lane we love and adore and the first side came through the flawlessly belted out “Imagine”, the title track of her latest album. It was clear she felt this one, and the feeling bled through to her vocal. She looked beautiful and the accompanying orchestra was a beautiful compliment to not only her voice but to the aesthetic of her performance. This part was short and sweet as she quickly dove into the classic “Favorite Things” as a transition into her most recent hit single “7 Rings” This triggered a loud audience reaction in addition to a costume and set change. Now we got the second side of Lane we love… the bad bitch. Featuring probably the best choreography of the night, this 7 Rings rendition was on point, featuring an impressive split moment to be remembered. She closed off with the final bridge and chorus of “Thank You, Next” which was delivered emotionally yet triumphantly as a grand finish.

KYLIE BLUE

I mean, really. Did anyone think that Kylie Blue would be anything other than mind blowing? From her wardrobe, to the stage, the features she included in her performance, to the choreography, it was everything you could want in a performance and then some. She kept the energy up with “You Need To Calm Down” a fitting choice given it being Pride month, however, it was her premiere of her new song “Lover” that stole the show. After a very quick wardrobe change, Kylie walked downstairs to the applause of the audience and delivered what could arguably be one of her best performances to date. Between showing Kylie the camera flashed around the audience highlighting some of the couples including a very sweet moment between Olivia Marie and Maxwell Harper-Bennett slow dancing but it was very clear Kylie only had eyes for one man as her attention kept being drawn back to sing lovingly to Callan Duffy (was that a tear, Callan?). Vocally she was flawless, proving once again that she can sing her heart out and we can already tell that this will be a fan favorite track off her upcoming album. 

YOUNGBLOOD

Youngblood, about to take off on tour, stood as the sole band to perform and, as always, did not fail to deliver. Levi’s vocals were on point, Zeus didn’t miss a single moment, Saint pulled double duty with piano and later on in the song bass and Benjy showed why he’s one of the best drummers in the game by not only keeping the rhythm steady but also providing major backing vocals with near flawless delivery. However it seemed like the chemistry was slightly off? The boys typically play off each other a lot more and this performance felt like four separate guys playing their roles but not really vibing? Hopefully it was just an off day. Maybe they were just a little tired from all the tour prep? 

ESSENCE WOODS

Closing out the show, Essence delivers a keen to the ear rendition of “Summertime Sadness” a song that has quickly taken the world by storm. There’s not much to the performance, just vocals and Essence taking up all of the attention but that’s pretty typical of an Essence Woods performance. There’s a wish for the show going out with a bigger bang performance wise, especially following up some of the nights earlier grandiose showcases, but the name Essence Woods is a pretty big thing in itself. She managed to keep the audience entertained however, as this served as one of her more vocally charged performances. It was also very beautiful to see the quartet of violinists accompanying the piano is a simple sonic setup that elevated the sound quality of the performance. The final chorus felt like a climax and a good send off to the show. Though we wish she had gone a little bigger, the performance was good on a bill of great showings.

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The Best: Quinton Harper definitely leaves tonight the golden boy despite only taking home one trophy. His performance is the one moment of the show people will be talking about for years to come. He proved his star status and talent.

The Worst: Belinda Blanchard/Winnie Kane both ladies could’ve given us much more here or much less and we would’ve been better satisfied. Both rookie performers here so the hiccups are expected.

[disndatradio]

It’s A Good Time To Be Bad Bunny

The name Ocasio derives from the Spanish ��ocasión,” which means what you think it means: an occasion, a time. According to Ancestry.com, most people named Ocasio are Puerto Rican, in heritage if not in residence, and the word’s “meaning as a surname” is unclear.

What is clear is Puerto Ricans named Ocasio are living up to their names by having a moment in 2018 — or at least two of them are. There is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the 28-year-old Democratic socialist who upended the incumbent in the New York primary this past spring and appears to be a lock to win a Congressional seat next week. When you Google “Ocasio,” the results are all about her. But another Ocasio is taking the world by storm this year, maybe even more so than the presumptive Congresswoman from New York’s 14th. His name is Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, but the world knows him as Bad Bunny.

Many English speakers had their proper introduction to Bad Bunny this past spring, when he featured alongside Cardi B and J Balvin on “I Like It,” a song from Cardi’s Invasion Of Privacy that flipped Pete Rodriguez’s Nuyorican boogaloo classic “I Like It Like That” into an unstoppable hip-hop club crusher. “I Like It” went to #1 on the Hot 100 and was deemed by many (including the readers of this website) the song of the summer. It also, in the wake of hits like “Despacito” and “Mi Gente,” continued to firm up a lane for Spanish language in the American pop mainstream, with both Bad Bunny and Balvin, from Colombia, delivering their verses in their native tongues as usual.

Since then Bad Bunny has popped up on a brisk reggaeton-house banger called “Está Rico” alongside Marc Anthony and Will Smith and released “Mia,” a Drake duet on which Drake performs entirely in Spanish. Now, Drake is a champion wave-rider who will seemingly hop on a song with any rising star he thinks will score him some cool points. I’m sure he’s accomplishing some serious brand expansion with his turn on “Mia.” Although I must admit he sounds quite fluent, hearing him rap and sing in Spanish on a Latin trap star’s song gives me the same awkward feeling of watching white American tourists attempt to show off by speaking the local language in a foreign country. On the other hand, imagine the triumph for Bad Bunny: The biggest star in music is guesting on your song, and he’s the one caught in your gravitational pull.

Bad Bunny, 24, grew up skateboarding and watching pro wrestling in Almirante Sur, Puerto Rico, the son of a truck driver and a retired schoolteacher. He famously started posting songs to SoundCloud a few years ago while working as a grocery store bagger and studying communications at the University of Puerto Rico at Arecibo. His single “Diles” (“Tell Them”) got him signed in early 2016, and by the end of the year he had a breakout hit with “Soy Peor” (“I’m Worse”). In the ensuing two years, he’s piled up hits and become one of the biggest names in the Spanish-speaking music world. Although he has yet to release an album — his official debut The New Religion is supposedly well underway — the Bad Bunny Essentials playlist on Apple Music is 50 songs long, spanning three hours and 35 minutes.

As one of the defining figures in Latin trap, Bad Bunny operates within a young tradition, combining reggaeton (and its Dominican cousin, dembow) with the Atlanta trap sounds that now rule American hip-hop. In various proportions, hip-swinging Caribbean club beats are paired with moody keyboard patches and heavily Auto-Tuned sing-rapping. The sound is as rampant within the Spanish-speaking diaspora as Migos ripoffs in the English-speaking rap world, and Bad Bunny has mastered it. He deploys his deep baritone with a rapper’s rhythmic mastery and a singer’s ear for melody — repeatedly hammering on one or two notes, suddenly spiking upward in dynamic flourishes, his voice subtly fraying at the edges when he dips into the bottom of his range.

Bad Bunny’s music helped to codify the sound of Latin trap, but he’s also a bit of a wild card within that framework. He’s definitely a live wire on the mic, known for unfiltered emotional outpourings and explicit sexual narratives. Both impulses were on display in his first two big hits: “Diles” errs toward the lascivious, with Bunny instructing his lover to let the people know how effective he is in bed, while “Soy Peor” finds him lashing out against an ex in language that — oblivious English speaker beware — is not so different from Juice WRLD’s toxic emo rap. But what really stands out is his idiosyncratic personal style. If his fluid low-register vocals and tendency toward dark rumination put him in parallel with Future’s digital codeine blues, his colorful visual presence marks him as Latin trap’s answer to Young Thug, Atlanta’s eccentric-in-chief.

This is a man with a personal aesthetic. He refused a stylist for his Fader cover story, dressing himself instead and looking better than most people in a glossy magazine feature. He recently showed up on the American Music Awards red carpet with a third eye painted on his forehead and kept it there during his performance. Like Thugger, he often subverts gender norms in fashion via elaborately painted nails or pink hair. His collection of tiny glasses probably makes Kanye jealous. I can’t wait to see what he looks like at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade three weeks from now.

Watching this iconoclastic Puerto Rican superstar waltz into one America’s most sanitized holiday traditions — at a time when the president and his affiliates are working hard to dehumanize and erase Hispanics in this country — will be a trip. It also might generate whiplash when compared with the current predicament of Puerto Rico, which remains in a state of prolonged recovery following last year’s Hurricanes Irma and Maria, partially thanks to that same president’s denial and neglect of the catastrophic damage.

It’s a cruel twist of fate that Bad Bunny’s rise has coincided with a period of deep struggle for his homeland. According to the Fader feature, as of last summer his parents’ home was still without electricity, and he personally showed up back in Almirante Sur to distribute food, water, and generators in the aftermath of the storms. In his celebratory summer hit “Estamos Bien” — which translates loosely to “We Good” — he acknowledges his fortunate circumstances in context. Translated from Spanish to English, the chorus reads, “Don’t worry, we’re fine/ With or without one hundred bills/ But having them is not bad.”

He seems on track to keep piling those dollars up. Continued domination of the Latin trap scene is close to inevitable. Furthermore, “Mia” just debuted at #5 on the Hot 100, a wildly impressive feat for a song performed entirely in Spanish. With a foothold from that song and “I Like It” he may be primed to start landing singles in the American rap mainstream without assists from bulletproof hit-makers like Drake or Cardi. It will be very interesting to see how far Bad Bunny and his Latin trap peers can burrow into pop culture. Lord knows trunk-rattlers like “Chambea” and trap ballads like “Dime Si Te Acuerdas” hold their own against the latest from Tyga or Post Malone. There’s rarely been a better opportunity for a full-fledged crossover, and Bad Bunny is rising to the occasion.

CHART WATCH

For the third week in a row, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s A Star Is Born soundtrack is the #1 album in America. Per Billboard, it’s the first soundtrack to spend its first three weeks at #1 in 11 years, since High School Musical 2 in 2007. For theatrical movies, you have to go back to Bad Boys II in 2003.

A Star Is Born is now Lady Gaga’s longest-standing #1 album as well, surpassing Born This Way’s two-week run in 2011. The soundtrack can thank strong sales for its continued dominance: Of its 109,000 equivalent album units this week, 61,000 are from people actually buying a copy of the record. By contrast, Future and Juice WRLD’s collaborative album WRLD On Drugs, which enters at #2 with 98,000 units, only did 8,000 in actual sales. It’s Future’s 10th top 10 album and Juice WRLD’s second following this year

Debuting at #3 with 87,000 units/80,000 sales is Anthem Of The Peaceful Army, the debut full-length by Led Zeppelin enthusiasts Greta Van Fleet. It’s followed at #4 by the debut of Disturbed’s Evolution with 71,000 units/65,000 sales. After Lil Wayne, Lil Baby and Gunna, and Drake comes the #8 debut of Khalid’s Suncity EP with 50,000 units/9,000 sales. Travis Scott and Post Malone round out the top 10.

Over on the Hot 100, Maroon 5 and Cardi B’s “Girls Like You” somewhat surprisingly holds on to #1 for a sixth straight week. Here’s a weird stat via Billboard: It’s now the longest-running #1 hit by a group (defined as three or more people) since MAGIC!’s “Rude” lasted six weeks back in summer ’14.

Hopping from #7 to #2 thanks to the release of its music video is Travis Scott’s “Sicko Mode,” which becomes Scott’s highest charting song as a lead artist — this after he went to #2 as a guest on Kodak Black’s “Zeze” last week. “Sicko Mode” also features Drake, who for some reason is not credited as a featured artist on the album but is credited in the video. Juice WRLD’s “Lucid Dreams” remains at #3, followed by Marshmello and Bastille’s “Happier” at a new #4 peak. It’s Marshmello’s biggest US hit to date and ties Bastille’s peak position with 2014’s “Pompeii.” It’s also the first song that has charted on Billboard’s Alternative Songs chart to reach the Hot 100 top five this year.

Post Malone’s “Better Now,” Kodak Black/Travis Scott/Offset’s “Zeze,” 5 Seconds Of Summer’s “Youngblood,” and Lil Baby and Gunna’s “Drip Too Hard” are #5 through #8. Another Post Malone song, the Swae Lee duet “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse)” debuts at #9. It’s Post’s fifth top 10 hit and Swae’s second following the French Montana collab “Unforgettable.” Khalid and Normani’s “Love Lies” rounds out the top 10.

POP FIVE

Carly Rae Jepsen – “Party For One” “Run Away With Me” this is not, but it’s good! Good enough that I’m not panicking about the long-awaited follow-up to E*MO*TION. It sounds like CRJ might be angling for radio play, like she did with “I Really Like You” ahead of the last album, before settling into her well-established role as a critically acclaimed underdog-juggernaut. Then again, will radio play a song about “making love to myself” at this point in history? I can’t tell anymore.

Mariah Carey – “A No No” All these new Mariah Carey singles have been fantastic. This one effortlessly infuses its late ’90s R&B core with jittery trap programming and brisk diva house without ever coming close to sounding like “trap house.” It slaps.

Imagine Dragons – “Machine” Coming from arguably the most consistent pop hit-makers in rock, “I’m not a part of your machine, I am the machine” is some kind of twisted spin on Jay-Z’s immortal “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man.” As a longtime Imagine Dragons antagonist, I gotta admit, these guys are finding stranger and more inventive ways to be infectiously obnoxious. In this case it’s kinda like “We Will Rock You” crossed with Mr. Big’s “Be With You,” but with an ambiguous message about being your own person, or something.

Mumford & Sons – “If I Say” I feel like Mumford & Sons are getting better at being Coldplay — or, like, Damien Rice fronting Coldplay. Whether I could withstand a whole album of this much melodrama remains to be seen, but this song really goes for it with the orchestration and it pays off.

Kiiara – “L*** Is A Bad Word” Kiiara was a bad word for a while there during her ill-advised post-Iggy rap phase, but this pop move is doing it for me big time. It sounds like they threw everything at the wall, it all stuck, and then they meticulously carved it from there. It sounds like wearing three or four clashing patterns that somehow cohere into a surprisingly pleasing aesthetic. I think the understated vocal amidst so much noise is what seals it.

NEWS IN BRIEF

That viral photo of “Justin Bieber” eating a burrito sideways was a prank. [Newsweek]

Here’s Ariana Grande singing “The Wizard And I” from NBC’s A Very Wicked Halloween. [YouTube]

And here’s Ariana Grande singing “God Is A Woman” backed by an orchestra and choir for her BBC Music special. [YouTube]

Iggy Azalea tweeted than she wants to leave Island (“I feel I would be better off if I could make my own timeline etc choices and I have the funds to do it”) but then she deleted it. [SOHH]

Panic! At The Disco covered Outkast’s “Hey Ya!” for Spotify. [Spotify]

Shawn Mendes remade Lost In Translation in the video for his Zedd collab “Lost In Japan.” [YouTube]

Alessia Cara revealed the cover and tracklist of new album The Pains Of Growing, out 11/30 via Def Jam. [Twitter]

5 Seconds Of Summer released a cover of “Killer Queen.” [YouTube]

Little Mix and Nicki Minaj released a video for “Woman Like Me.” [YouTube

Halsey released a video for “Without Me.” [YouTube]

2 Chainz launched his own weed brand, Gas Cannabis Co. [High Snobriety]

Clean Bandit’s “Baby,” featuring Luis Fonsi & Marina, is out tonight. [Instagram]

So is Katy Perry’s cover of “Waving Through A Window” from Dear Evan Hansen. [Billboard]

Diana Ross, John Legend, Bad Bunny, Kane Brown, Sugarland, and Ella Mai will be part of this month’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City. [Business Insider]

HOLD ON, WE’RE GOING HOME

What they don’t tell you is that they were rated out of a Maroon 10

— Julian McCullough (@julezmac) October 30, 2018

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