#you'll find the balance

[ashtonsunshine]

hey carmo!! i'm wondering if i can ask you maybe a couple questions/for advice as someone who's on other social medias than just tumblr? (to which i have to say 1) you're so pretty omg and 2) congrats on ashton retweeting you and liking your poster) i've been off basically all my other socials for about a year now and i'm realising i'm much more able to be myself on here without the expectations of all the people i still have on my socials from school and uni and every part of my life, and showing this side of myself on say, instagram, is kinda terrifying me, but at the same time it's important to me to push through this and get to the point i can be more genuine on there, i know it'll feel good when whoever still follows me knows a version of me that isn't as fake and highly masking as i've been for most of my life.

kinda pressuring myself on this rn too because i've gone and made a parody of red line that's about protesting genocide and i know if i post it there's a nonzero chance ashton will see it and if he sees it he will absolutely love it but i've never posted any of my music online before and i've also never sung anything in public either. and these are just things that are scary but i can get through them, but in the meantime i did want to ask, how do you do it, how do you decide what to post on there vs here, etc, if you're willing to answer at all? anyway thank you so much <3

Hello! 😊

Thank you so much! That's very nice of you. 💛

I've been on Tumblr for so long now and I'm pretty sure that people on here who follow me from the beginning can attest to the fact that I'm not the same person I was back then. I've grown a lot here. More confident. More outwards. More free. More unashamedly me.

Back then, there were no relatives on my Instagram, which made it easy for me to just do whatever I wanted. I've always been very careful in keeping family away from me online (hence Tumblr) because, as you said, expectations. That's why my Facebook is dead. All of them are on there. I was never afraid of my friends or uni colleagues. At 23, I had stopped caring in a way. I just wanted to be me, but it still didn't come naturally. I was still in my shell and afraid of what people would think, but I kept posting photos I liked that I wasn't ashamed of.

However, as the years went by, relatives started migrating onto Instagram, and I couldn't just block them (I mean, I could, but, ya know, interrogation would follow), so I just let it happen. I did block them from seeing my stories, though, so I still have some total relative-free freedom on there. Now they comment on my pics online and irl and they just accept it. What are they going to do? Tell a (almost) 30 year old woman what to do? I don't think so. I'd tell them to fuck off. They know not to mess with me anymore. 🤣

I personally always used social media for the things and people I like, and not to please anyone but me. I created and upkept my own bubbly, happy and genuine bubble, and I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm still very awkward in person, though, but I'm embracing looking stupid and silly in order to be able to move on with my life. It's not easy, but we roll anyways. 😎

My point is: it takes time and a it's a constant effort. You don't need to go all out, just bit by bit. You'll reach a point where you don't care anymore. And if someone has anything unpleasant to say about you or what you like, then bye bye! You don't need them in your life. You said "whoever still follows me", and that's exactly it. Those who don't mind your quirks and genuinely like you will stay, and that's all that matters. Hell, they might even encourage you further! 😊

When it comes to what I post here vs anywhere else, it's simple. I have different standards for each. Tumblr is for fandom and for me to be silly and fun and weird and insanely unfiltered. Instagram is for me irl, so it's more curated (my photos, my art, be it 5SOS or not). And Twitter is for...., honestly, I don't know. The reason I still have Twitter is because Ashton follows me on there, so I have a higher chance of him seeing my stuff. My Twitter page is very quiet. My feed is basically updates from artists I like. I don't do the social on there because I've always been scared of Twitter fandom, ngl. 😅

I only started posting my art on Instagram and Twitter because I wanted 5SOS to see it, and it has paid off on various occasions, which made me very happy. So there is a chance he will see your song, but you have to tag him in it. That's what I do. That's how he saw my StyH poster.

My advice to you, and for anyone who's reading this, is to be yourself, and I don't mean that in a magical oh just be yourself kinda way. I mean it as be genuine in what you post, wherever and whatever it might be. Masking or not masking. If you post something you truly like and that you are truly fully comfortable with, then there's nothing to fear. If people leave, then they leave. It doesn't need to be grandiose. It can be something little for a start. A photo that you absolutely adore but think that people will find weird, for example.

For me, I've learnt over the years to just be. I'm living my life, and I'm not ashamed of what I like. I'm insignificant, so I'm just gonna exist my own way. I don't care anymore. If people think I'm crazy for liking a band so much, so be it. I'm not hurting anyone. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I kinda ramble a bit, but I hope it was helpful. 😚

[apollodrome]

taz (especially balance) was utter cringe

Some of y'all have never let yourself feel a moment of whimsy in your lives and it shows

[willyhoos]

scenes from hetaoni that im overthinking:

1) japan describing this (most traumatic incident of italy's life) as an "adventure" to italy's face. that's a load-bearing "..."

2) italy successfully redirecting everyone's opinion about the clocks. ⭐achievement: friends manipulated!!

3) ...until japan calls italy's claims into question (twice) and both times italy gets so upset, unsure of how to improvise, that he starts visibly panicking and finally has to leave the room.

the first time, after japan asks if he's okay, he immediately leaves. you ever had someone ask you "you doing alright?" and you just burst into tears? im convinced italy left to have a cry break here

the second time, he's not interested in receiving any pity, and gets like... violent. yelling and slamming the door on his way out. well done italy youre the picture of mental health!

4) before the Big Showdown after the ladder room, america made a big show out of being Too Cool to Get Hurt... but canada noticed :,) such a good brother. not to be sad, but i'm sure there's been other loops where america gets himself mortally wounded and canada blames himself, so maybe he's even more attentive than usual!

5) its never stated exactly how long the timeloop has been (theres that One Post i love but, as it says, it only accounts for a small portion of loops) but. uh. this is definitely indicative of.. something.

i used to think that hetaoni having a potentially several-years-long loop would be far too much, but considering that the nations are, well, immortal, and canonically have a very strange and understandably warped view of time... maybe it really has been much longer than we know. after all, it's not like germany started building this on loop #1... how long before he even BEGAN construction?

5) "everyone has noticed that italy is acting weird but no one wants to say anything because we don't want to deal with the freakout"

-> implying they've been gossiping about him behind his back. my poor sweet spaghetti child . youre so horrible at this .

6) even in timeloops where the nations are all AWARE that they're in a timeloop, and italy is presumably open with what he knows... he doesn't tell them that it's his fault they came to the mansion in the first place.

i imagine he doesn't WANT to hide the info he knows thru timeloops (locations of keys, supplies, secret passages, etc) unless he feels he HAS to. but the truth that everything is his fault? he deliberately tells no one. that's not strategy. that's shame.

[less-freshly-vegan]

"Veganism is one downhill health spiral" the evidence shows otherwise shut up

[spaciebabie]

absolutely obsessed w/the idea that fluttershy is taller than twilight. giant lanky pegasus and her tiny alicorn girlfriend

[sainz100]

a few Carlos moments from the 2024 Azerbaijan GP

[anistarrose]

fill up your lungs, feel better

In scattered clearings in the woods, outside cabins and encircling a lake, congregations of battle-tested heroes light campfires, tear open bags of marshmallows, and break into song and spooky stories alongside their friends, laughter bubbling up into the night air alongside the smoke and embers. But from within the shadows, behind the trees, a solitary — no audience or accompanying voices to speak of, not for him — strains his non-existent ears, scouring the camp for familiar voices.

Are they here? Is she here?

No. She wouldn’t be. She can’t be. She wouldn’t leave the moonbase unattended…

Not knowing I’m out here. No. She’s too smart for that.

And she’s smarter than he is, quite possibly. Would the Bureau see the Red Robes as half as dangerous if they knew one was impulsive enough to wander onto the grounds of their stronghold-slash-weekend corporate retreat, alone and badly outnumbered by sworn foes, just to try and catch a glimpse of the Reclaimers? Would Lucretia have a harder time spinning him as a threat, if only her employees saw him in this state?

Of course, he won’t be caught by them, unless he chooses to be. A lich, who multiclassed as a rouge nine decades ago, in a foggy forest at night? Might as well be a needle — no, even less, a mere snippet of thread — in a haystack. But what he’s doing here, beneath the moonlight? It’s still so foolhardy.

He should not be looking for his boys again so soon — not while he’s still pulling himself together from the last time. Not when he’ll inevitably be tempted to show himself — and certainly not when if he does, he’ll have to face the lack of trust, the lack of any recognition, in their eyes again. He’ll break again, and dig his hole even deeper. Lose even more trust than he realized they had left for him. Fail Lup, and fail the world —

(keep reading on ao3!)

[fearfylsymmetry]

less of an ask and more of a compliment i love the way your tags are organized…”decay as a commodity” “bodies shifting in narrow spaces” etc is it your own original work or quoting from a song/poem/or something?

helloo angel and welcomee to the show, its always such a joy when people appreciate my silly little tagging system. they're all just random sentences i thought up ages ago, , just to make sense of the mess in front of you etc y'know how it gets love. i couldn't really get behind tagging things as "art" "people, faces places things" etc. i needed to inject a bit of flavour to the whole thing (let this not be read as a subtle jab towards any new york based tumblrinas , we're above that c'mon now). i wouldn't say these little phrases are "personal" by any means but they have been motifs i wanted to actively explore in the art i make so no harm putting them up here i guess haha

for posterity's sake i thought i'd just copy an explanation of my tags from an old ask

decay as a commodity : okay so i envisioned this as a way to just summarize modern living? i think of a whole blueish neon color scheme with this one. my line of thinking was,, with the world slowly rotting away and living becoming so expensive and exhausting, whats the one commodity we all share? wouldn't it be decay? aren't we all slowly fading together etc etc. i use this for images with cooler muted tones and anything with a futuristic vibe,, along with some grimey, monochrome photography

the setting dawn: this is the polar opposite of decay, i think of it as "hope beyond hope" a la Prior Walter's line in Angels in America. i know "the setting sun " might sound more natural but i think of it as,, dawn , when the sun breaks through - in this short period the world starts to wake. qs the dawn sets the day kicks in, with all its routine misery. Dawn i think, is the only time the sun is kind to you, because its still hidden away at least slightly. But the day truly starts and itbeats down on you. And yet we continue to live, past the boredom and the pain, we live past hope, past the quiet comfort of dawn. I use this for pictures with earthy tones and things on the more uplifting side

bodies shifting in narrow spaces: this has some overlap with the decay tag, im not as organized as i need 2 be. i use this for figures & portraits ill want to draw or just really any photography i like that features a human presence. think of it as people so dependent on an outside gaze they constantly try to reinvent themselves, or just, everyday people, getting less and less time to live, having to work and forcing themselves into relationships with any real connection

original sin and other contingencies: im trying to fit this in for more risque photography and maybe things on the more gory side. how do i explain this.. okay so... when there's nothing left to do you'll always have sin to turn to just yo keep yourself occupied, along with other methods/contingencies u get the jist

linen that lingers: my fashion tag nothing more 2 it

the canvas as testimony: for art that is made for the gallery or art that is held in higher regard i guess, more high culture. it includes painting, sculptures,along with architecture,, but maybe i should make an architecture tag. i think of the things here as more personal efforts

motion on a still surface: for art that is energetic and really pops off the page. includes comics, manga, fanart, animation. stuff here may be more low culture but really its not. i just differentiate these art tags as ,,one is stuck to the canvas whatever that canvas may be, while the other leaps off the page

word on a wing let me soar: books, poetry, articles, journals , all words that i adore

a conversation with the self: i wanted this to be for things that are very personal to me but i just use my other tags

angels in descent: my little funny haha tag for yknow ,,, funny haha. yknow the "devil's rejects" the movie? like its a way of saying people so horrible no even the devil would take them. okay so i thought " god's rejects " but that's lame. so i landed on this, like idk...imagine angels falling from grace

arcade shuffle: for my little viddy games lol. sorry for being a #gamergirl but yes it happens sadly ,,moving on

jet jump jive: for songs

at the pictures: for movies,, like imagine im going "cant talk im at the pictures wheee ^_^"

there is such a great distance between now and later: to track my art and writing progress but i barely use it cause it barely draw or write these days i blame the wave of despair that washeth over me

proof of concept: photos i took but there's like almost nothing here

misc that are just funny 2 me like i do it 4 a little chuckle i deserve it:

screw it posting hole - for hole the band

bowies in spaaace - for bowie, after the flight of the concords song cmon its a little funny at least cmon now

twink speaks- for twin peaks lol

[alebrijediscordico]

15-ish minute doodles of these two :3

[alborde]

having your first full(ish) time job be a fixed-time position in a foreign country is such a weird thing in regards of starting to find your own little thing as an adult

[go-our-own-ways]

every time I see someone post something anti-ao3 I lose like 5 years off my life

[riftwalker-limbro]

kelth was about to be polite about it and not suggest a nickname. clearly i had to commit a writer's intervention. we're not fucking calling him vinculum for more than a page max, kid. no.

[twilighttheater]

Relationship tags cause why not

[meticulousmaker]

It always confuses me when abled people are opposed to accessibility options, or they react like it's an annoying or unnecessary thing to ask for. Like why would you be against having more benches? More benches is a good thing that benefits everyone, disabled and abled alike. There's literally no downside. Put more benches in cities.

walkable cities also means sittable cities send tweet

[abanbas]

okay for sure, i will be writing up my bg3 verses and normal writing...I just like looking at sire a lot...

[inkskinned]

it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!

well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.

jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.

watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.

sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.

thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!

wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.

and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!

you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.

in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.