#you'd rather lose someone before they get the chance to mess up than have them in their perfectly imperfect wholeness?

[candied-boys]

Ikemen Prince

Head Canons

How many times can they cum?

This has been rolling around in my head for days and I just had to get it out 🤭

Luke

You might anticipate he could cum at a ratio relative to his size or strength, ie a lot. After all, the bear is quite greedy when it comes to things he likes - honey, your attention, and… honey…

Yet in spite of how incredibly dedicated he is to thoroughly fucking you, he can only cum once. But be warned, he takes absolutely forever to get off. His stamina is unparalleled - for better or worse.

You can ride him all night if you want. He can keep you pinned up against the wall for hours without breaking a sweat. But you better pray he doesn't overstim you before he gets started himself or you'll be soulless well before he cums. Don't ever try to suck him off. You're jaw will break first.

Yves

Pretty virgin baby didn't do much by himself before he met you. Only the minimally required stress relief when his body demanded so. It's not exactly easy to get into the mindset and try to imagine someone who would want to fuck you when the whole country hates you almost as much as you hate yourself.

But with you he's learning he has more kinks than he even knew existed, and cumming until his mind is essentially non-functional is one of his favourites.

The best way to ruin him is to edge him all day long. A handjob in the morning beneath the covers, a boob job after lunch when you get a chance to steal him away to the gardens, a blow job under his desk when he insists on working longer than anyone else in the faction.

But of course, you never let him cum until after dinner when you can straddle him on the bed and grind down on him until he's a babbling mess begging you to milk him dry.

Nokto

For the man renowned as the palace whore he can't cum nearly as many times as you would expect. He prefers to have his play things seeing stars rather than to shake with ecstasy himself. Pumping them full more than once only risks knocking them up anyway.

Besides, why should he bother exacting such a toll on his body when all he needs to do is to wind them around his elegant fingers just enough to get whatever it is from them he needs before he casts them aside.

It's not like cumming multiple times would make him sleep any better anyway. He's guaranteed to wake up at some ungodly hour of the night in a cold sweat from another nightmare no matter what.

At least that was the case until he met you. Now that he can finally let himself feel his own emotions he wants nothing more than the most sensual sex. The kind where he can hold your gaze while rocks so slow, so deep, and so gentle that the climax builds almost imperceptibly only to absolutely ruin the two of you at the end.

Unless he wants sex in the bath. That's always raunchy af and guarantees he'll fill you to the brim multiple times because the bath is always round one.

Rio

Though he used to fuck his hand over and over every night until his legs were shaking and he could hardly remember his own name, his only wish now that you're finally together is to obey your orders. This means he can cum as much as you want or not at all if that's what makes you happy.

If you want him to edge himself for a day, a week, or a month he'll do it in a heartbeat. If you want him to breed you until he's dehydrated, he will command his body by sheer will alone to keep making cum. He never goes soft. He's always praying for more. He would ask you to cock warm him 24/7 if he thought you'd say yes.

But usually he's content just to focus on your pleasure and lose himself in your sweet depths once or twice at the end.

[sunderwight]

Aziraphale falls during the Job minisode.

God knows what he did and the scales tip a little further in that direction, and between that and the flaming sword incident, well, it's enough. Aziraphale loses angelic privileges and becomes a demon.

But the thing is, during the war between Heaven and Hell, the Fall was this big dramatic (traumatic) event. Hell was created for the Fall, so the realms were torn asunder and reshaped, and all of the angels who fell slammed into the burning raw essence of their new home like falling stars, because of the sheer scale of the event going on.

For Aziraphale, a lone angel already on Earth (already halfway there), it's a lot less spectacular. He just sort of trips and falls into one of Hell's upper lobbies, midway in his conversation with Crowley.

Crowley being Crowley, he naturally goes after Aziraphale and manages to convince whatever unfortunate demon is on arrivals duty that Aziraphale has pursued him to the bowels of Hell as part of an epic duel, and then easily convinces the lower-ranking demons that they should scurry off and get help from somebody stronger rather than interfere. Then he whisks Aziraphale back up to Earth, concocts more fiction about it to cover their asses, and no one's the wiser.

No one is the wiser. Except, of course, for Aziraphale and Crowley.

The thing is, Hell's not a nice place. Working for Hell isn't a nice job. It's definitely not the kind of job that someone like Aziraphale wants. And, cultural attitudes being what they are, well... demons are not terribly merciful to their fellows, and that's among the lot who rebelled and fell together after fighting on the same side of a war. A fallen angel like Aziraphale? Who didn't take their side? Who fought for the other team, and probably kicked a decent amount of demon butt while doing so? They're not going to be nice to him, and that's an understatement. If Hell gets their claws into Aziraphale then he's never going to see the light of day again, probably.

Crowley puts it plainly to Aziraphale, who is scared and uncertain and so agrees to just... not say anything. To anyone. About this development.

It turns out, Heaven doesn't really have a means of telling when an angel has Fallen either. Like you'd assume that alarms would go off or that records would at least update, but in the former case, no, and in the latter case, turns out the angels need to be aware and updating the records themselves. Since nobody knows, no steps are taken, and nothing happens. Aziraphale is extremely stressed out the first time Gabriel stops to do a check-in, certain he's been found out or that he'll be smote or at least that now someone will be able to tell.

But, no. Gabriel can't tell. The meeting goes like normal. He keeps getting order from Heaven, and even gets a commendation for using fewer miracles. And since Hell's a bureaucratic mess and they don't even have Aziraphale on their books, they can't tell where some of their extra miracle energy is disappearing to either.

Aziraphale thinks about confessing anyway. After all, it's God's Will, right? He's supposed be punished. At the very least he ought to get caught.

But what if, Crowley suggests, what if there's a reason he hasn't been? After all, God definitely knows. She could tell whoever, whenever. Just a quick word to the Metatron, oh by-the-by, that angel Aziraphale's a demon now. Yeah, shun him, and all that. But She hasn't.

Maybe this is a chance for Aziraphale to do an even better job of thwarting Hell than he could have done before. Using Hell's own power against them! Maybe there's also something to be said for not being affiliated with Heaven anymore either. Couldn't hurt to just keep going along with it, right? See where it all leads?

So somehow that's what Aziraphale ends up doing. Going along with it. Heaven gives him jobs and he does them. Hell sends Crowley to thwart him and they tweak the Arrangement to suit them even earlier on, and with even more frequency and flexibility. Neither side catches on, or even suspects that there's something to uncover.

But Aziraphale knows. Always. He's a Fallen Angel. He's a demon, just like Crowley.

Except.

Maybe that doesn't have to be permanent. Maybe that's why God hasn't done anything further, why Heaven still doesn't know, or acts as if they don't. Maybe there's a way for a Fallen Angel to rise back up again, and if that's the case, perhaps the point of all of this is for Aziraphale to actually do it.

Not only that, maybe the point of Aziraphale doing it isn't just to redeem himself, but to bring someone else along as well. Someone who fell during the first Fall, who might think they are unforgivable but maybe shouldn't really be an evil demon at all...

[detective-luca-montoya]

Feeling inspired, so have some Christmas-adjacent whump! Malik belongs to @lumpsbumpsandwhumps!

A virtual cookie to anyone who gets who this drabble's villain is a reference to! EDIT: It's McCracken from The Mysterious Benedict Society! I suppose this counts as my entrance into the fandom.

Warnings for gun violence, regular violence, murder, and whump. Message me to add tags or warnings!

11:17 AM, December 24th

Carjacking was not how Luca would prefer to spend her Christmas.

This was why she was doing it as quickly as possible, rifling through the mess of a trunk for the documents she was looking for, and who the hell kept loose-leaf paper in their car boot?!

Evidently, someone who was trying their very best to keep their secret files secret- it had been hard enough finding the car, let alone tailing its owner and waiting for the right time to search. She shoved aside another pile of bills and leaflets, spotting a flash of color drowning in the sea of paper. Bingo.

She grabs it, inwardly cheering. Hopefully she has enough time to deliver it to the client and she can make it back to the agency in time for Christmas day. She just hopes Jake saved her some gingerbread-

Her train of thought is rudely interrupted by a cold sensation on the back of her neck. She looks to the ground, spotting a reflection in a puddle. A man- the car's owner, probably. Pointing a gun at her back. She raises her hands automatically, turning her head just enough to show him she's aware of his presence.

"Turn around," he orders. His finger is off the trigger, but that doesn't reassure her as she turns and sizes him up. Average build, average looks. An office worker, she thinks. Glasses and all. Looks like he hasn't seen the sun in weeks. And yet his aim didn't waver, even a bit. Strange.

His eyes didn't seem to move, and yet the corner of his mouth still rose in recognition. "I know you. You're that private eye- from the papers. Montoya, was it? Yeah..."

She doesn't dare move with the gun trained on her- she's fast, but she's not the Flash. She'll just have to watch and wait for an opportunity.

Oh. He's still talking.

"...saw you following me," he says. Shit, really? She must be losing her touch. "Didn't think you'd have the guts to follow me down here, though."

"Gotta take chances in my line of work," she retorts blithely. A stupid one, apparently...

"A pretty stupid one."

Yeah, didn't need to hear it from you.

He takes a step closer, still aiming at her head. "Now, how about you give me those papers and we can both forget this ever happened."

"Why don't you come over here and take them from me?"

A dumb question? Absolutely. But she was much more likely to survive a fistfight than a bullet through the skull. If she could get him close enough...

The man raises an eyebrow, before lowering the gun and shrugging nonchalantly. "Well- alright."

She drops her hands when he advances, covering the distance between them in three steps, and makes a rapid grab for the gun. He pivots on his feet- fast, too fast for her to react- and pistolwhips her with an audible crack. Luca staggers and falls against the back windshield, clutching her rapidly swelling cheek. A hand slams down too close to her ear, and she sees spiderweb-like cracks spread from the point of impact. Above her is a pleasant man in a now-disheveled suit, who fixes his tie before smiling disarmingly at her, marred only by a single gold tooth.

"Is this rather close enough, ducky?"

His hand not currently in a toxic relationship with the windshield reaches and takes the papers from her. They're wrinkled and torn from Luca's desperate gambit, but he just makes an annoyed noise and tucks them into his inside coat pocket. "That's better."

His previous tough behavior is long gone- now he looms above her, gesturing with the gun for effect as he spoke. "Now, how about you answer my other question and tell me what a spunky little thing like you is doing with my very important papers? They're crucial for my work, you see. Not for the eyes of children."

She ignores the barb (barely) and narrows her eyes. "Then why were they hidden in a giant pile in the trunk of your car?"

Another shrug. "You have me there. So maybe they're not my papers... but they're still quite important. Which begs the question, why are you so desperate for them?"

"You first," she says.

"You're awfully demanding," the man notes. "If you must know, old McCracken was paid quite a large sum to get these papers. But they'd be worthless to anyone else, I was assured. So...?"

Alarmingly, he taps under her chin with the barrel of the gun, and Luca is suddenly hyperaware of his finger on the trigger. "Your turn."

She swallows. "Like you said. I'm a PI. It's my job."

The barrel presses into the soft flesh under her chin. The man- McCracken- leans closer, studying her expression. "You wouldn't be telling a fib to old McCracken, would you? My trigger finger gets twitchy when I'm lied to."

She grits her teeth and says nothing. McCracken's gold tooth winks at her. "Cat got your tongue?"

She purses her lips in silence. McCracken leans back, blowing a raspberry in her direction. "The silent treatment? Really? You're just that determined to make things difficult for me?" He rolls his shoulders, Luca just now noticing the muscles underneath his prim outfit. "Well, me duck, that's quite a shame. Disposing of you here would make a rather big mess... we'll continue this discussion elsewhere."

He finally removes his hand from the window and pulls a handkerchief out of his welt pocket. Luca smells disinfectant- no, that's not right-

McCracken grunts, and suddenly the air feels much clearer- Luca shakes her head and looks down to see the man lying in a pool of blood, prompted by the hunting knife sticking out of his back. Her vision still swimming, Luca blearily looks back up, words of thanks on her lips.

They immediately shriveled up and died, because Malik was standing in front of her.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me..." she mumbles. Malik looks up, seemingly only now just noticing she was here. "Huh? The hell are you doing here?"

"Getting threatened, what are YOU doing here?!" Luca unsteadily pushes herself up, staggering towards Malik and jabbing a finger at his chest. "Why'd you save me?!"

"I didn't do no such thing," Malik says, seemingly offended at the suggestion. "This son of a bitch cut me off during a procession. I'm just returning the favor."

"So you were going to kill him anyway."

"I'll be honest darlin', I didn't even know you were here." Malik leans down and yanks his knife out of McCracken's ribs. "Then again, someone else roughing you up lowers your value and I still gotta turn a profit with you."

"Like hell you will," she spits, keeping one eye on him as she kneels to take the papers off of the body. Malik is busy examining his knife- he doesn't even spare her a glance as she straightens up, grimacing at the blood soaking half of the writing. She unfolds it slowly, doing her best not to tear it, and reads the loopy cursive with bated breath.

9 left

Nine left.

Luca looks up, fear suddenly flooding every cell of her being. "Malik-?"

But the man was already gone, leaving Luca alone with the body- and questions that she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to.

[carlyraejepsans]

eh... you probably just didn't get the chance to see them mess up. like father like son as they always say

huh? ...and that's enough for you to stop caring. you sound like a riot.

[junniepop]

JJK men and a male reader

So I died and came back. Now my inbox is filled with a lot of Jujutsu Kaisen stuff with a male reader, so I looked around and noticed there aren't a lot of male writers or even gender neutral ones, meaning that's what I'll be doing for awhile. This first request is...

before I get started, if you'd like to request something, then please see my masterlist

JJK boys with a male s/o

Warnings: aged up and language oh and some nsfw stuff cuz that's what they wanted.

Characters: I. Yuuji, F. Megumi, G. Satoru, N. Kento, R. Sukuna, T. Aoi

I. Yuuji

Isn't hung up by you being male, I feel as Yuuji got older, the more open minded he became. His sexuality was something that evolved as he aged and had a big change in his mid teenage years when he was exploring himself. Into his late teens he began seeing people of all types of representation, he simply did not care how they presented themselves.

That leads us to you, our gorgeous male that has Yuuji simping. All seriousness, this man loves entirely, some might even find it to be smothering. He is the type to text you paragraphs of good morning and goodnight texts, always leaving something for you to eat in the fridge, brings something home because it reminded him of you, and always always makes time to call you before a mission.

Yuuji always has random thoughts about you. Like, "Should I make his favorite tonight?" "I wonder what he's doing." "Oh....that would look so cute on him, should I get it?" "AH this charm has our initials on it! that means it was meant to be!"

If you're a sorcerer, Yuuji d e m a n d s to be your partner on missions and he will have a fit if someone says no. Is constantly stressing himself out over your well being, even if he knows you can handle yourself. always asking about your technique and is amazed every time he sees it. Very protective, stands in front of you a lot and when he see's you struggling he doesn't hesitate to get the curse's attention regardless of his own situation.

Also just because I feel like he would: Yuuji gave you a promise ring when he realized you were the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

He has this need to prove to you that he is a fit partner, Like showing you he can cook, has his own place, very responsible with his money and what not.

The type of guy to send you a million snaps a day. He will literally show you everything he did that day and wants the same in return.

Every date with him somehow includes a physical activity. Going out to dinner? chances are Yuuji will see an arcade and more specifically the DDR in the background.

NSFW

In terms of sexual stuff, Yuuji seems like a top, but has definitely thought about bottoming and upon trying it- was not into it. Does not matter if you're much bigger than him or not, he will top you. However, Yuuji is rather submissive when it comes to his partner, he will say yes to whatever it is you want. You want him to be soft and gentle, he'll do it. You want him to absolutely wreck your ability to walk, he'll do it.

The first time Yuuji tried stuff with a guy, he for sure looked up if it would hurt and read that anal could be very painful, was TERRIFIED that he would hurt the guy. Definitely was asking with every movement if he was okay. With you he's more confident, but still askes if you're okay throughout the event.

Man is simple, likes very intimate positions where he can see your face. Heavily into pleasing you, he tries any kinks you're into even if he's not that into it. Loves being praised, it just does something to his brain, in that same line- any sounds you make go straight to his dick. Really enjoys marking, is proud to cover you in them too.

The type of guy to enjoy eating you out, like fully sit on his face. Plus it helps his dick slide in smoother.

Yuuji will lose his mind if you say you want to milk him. Yuuji usually never thinks about his own pleasure, so when you want to pleasure him until he's empty, mans is not readyyyy. Just stutters out an okay and proceeds to go stupid when you start.

Conclusion

Yuuji loves you entirely. Trusts you 100% and would do anything to keep your life stable and happy. Yuuji just wants to grow old with you tbh, so in love with the idea.

If you were to break up with him, he would be devastated, unable to continue on for a long time. I mean he placed his everything into you, why would you do this to him?

all in all, it is a very stable relationship as long as you don't take him for granted because he is prone to letting people use him.

F. Megumi

Definitely did not care you were male. Megumi cares about a person's mentality, their goals and dreams, the way a person carries themselves. When Megumi met you, he found you quite attractive, your drive is what lured him in and from there his feelings developed.

Megumi is subtle in showing his affection. Little touches here, sticky notes meant just for you, always carrying 'extra' snacks. It actually might take you awhile to notice his affections for you, simply because it is so subtle. Megumi seems like the person to wait until you confess. However. Megumi would confess if he gets pushed to or knows he won't get rejected.

Once he confesses, his love is soft and soothing with a hint of awkwardness. Megumi in the beginning would be showing affection through words and small acts of service, always telling you how much he appreciates you and doing things for you. Some of these things would be things like picking up snacks for you, doing your laundry, leaving you some of his clothes. He likes to do these things without you knowing because I think it lessens the embarrassment he feels doing it.

Even if you are in a long term relationship with him, he always gets flustered by you. Megumi is naturally reserved, so telling him I love you with sincerity will cause him to malfunction. Poor boy freezes and stutters around his words while avoiding eye contact.

Now, physical contact in this relationship is a tell tale sign of how much Megumi trusts you and loves you. Megumi is the type of person to reserve physical touch for someone he completely trusts, so with you, this will let you know his true feelings.

Touch would start with closeness at first, just grazing hands or bumping knees, but would develop into hours of intimate cuddling because he's touched starved. KISSING, oh my lord- his kisses tell you everything he feels. so intense, no matter how soft he kisses you.

if you're a sorcerer, Megumi is the type to go on missions with you, but doesn't complain if he can't go with you. However, worries a lot and contemplates going after you. Unlike Yuuji, who would go to literal war, Megumi trusts your strength a lot. The only time he is like yuuji is against a particularly strong curse. Loves fighting together though, it shows how much you trust him.

NSFW

Megumi gives me verse energy. Like he was a top for a long time, asked you if he could bottom once and was surprisingly into it. So now when the mood arises, its whatever you guys are in the mood for. You guys often take turns.

His first time was with you- Megumi just seems like a late bloomer and you were the only person he did stuff with. He's very gentle because he knows it can be painful, I think sexually his fear is not being good enough for you, so give him as much reassurance as you can.

Now this boy is rather kinky despite his personality. Loves when you beg, drives him mad to hear your pleas and whimpers. Likes the pain of you needing something to hold onto when he tops which results in scratches down his back and the pulling of his hair. Doesn't think condoms are necessary because you're the only person for him in his eyes- aka likes breeding. When he bottoms, he enjoys riding and wants to see your face as he does. Do not get it twisted though, he's very much into you messing him up and railing him.

SEND THIS BOY NUDES. DO IT. Mans will sprint home if he has to. Don't do it too often or he'll get used to it. Maybe like once every two-ish weeks. Or better yet do it while he's on a mission. Megumi always tries to answer you, so expecting something serious, he short circuits when its just a pic of you in some underwear he thought he ripped the last time you guys were intimate.

Conclusion

Shy boy into some kinky things with his partner. It might take him some time to develop a deep relationship with you because he's scared you'll leave, but as long as you provide him the security he needs, he'll stay by your side indefinitely.

If you were to break up with him, you're just like his dad in his eyes and the betrayal would result in him locking many people out. Unlike Yuuji, who's emotions pour out of him, many wouldn't know Megumi is barely scrapping by.

G. Satoru

Gojo doesn't give a rats ass how you present yourself, he lives by the motto "a hole's a hole." What truly would make Gojo invest in more than casual hooking up is your personality. Gojo needs someone who doesn't need him and doesn't care about who he is in the sorcerer world. Someone like that would capture his eye rather quick and this man is like "Eh? I'm GOJO SATORU, you know top dog?" and you would just blink and go back to whatever it was you were doing.

Shows off so much trying to impress you. "ne ne (Y/n) did you see me squash that special grade into dust?" *sigh* "Yes Gojo, I also saw you split one into a thousand pieces and turn another into a ball." so unamused by his abilities.

The one time he saw amazement cross your features is when he was playing the piano (I feel Gojo's other talents were never looked at and everyone saw him as this god like being, all he wants is someone to look at other things he can do.) and his heart skipped a beat. Because his first goal was just get into your pants, he was quite surprised you were more interested in his normal talents. This is where he begins showing you his real side, still a teasing man child, but he begins asking you about your interests and seeing what you have in common.

The more he learns, the harder it is for him to find a way not to commit to you. You see Gojo subconsciously looks for a reason to leave, he hates being tied down and is super flighty. Then there's you, ticking all his boxes without even knowing it. There's only been one person to do that.

So he takes a leap and goes for it. He's still scared that he'll get burned like last time, but he's willing to try.

One of the requirements to being with Gojo is you need to be strong in your own right. Gojo is an extremely powerful man with many enemies, so his partner must be able to handle themselves. Being a sorcerer, Gojo would B E G you to go with him on literally every single mission and would throw the biggest tantrum until you say yes. Sometimes when he's being particularly childish, he'll stop fighting the curses to watch you do it. "You can do it (Y/n)-chan, if you win I'll give you kisses." Takes everything in your power not to launch your technique right at him as he sits there with his shit-eating grin.

This man in the beginning of your relationship is immediately extremely handsy. Just all up on you all the time, but little do you know is, this is really a protective measure for when you're out of the house. At home, he's still handsy, but you can just feel how different it is. He'll come and fall asleep on you, stand behind you when you're doing your skincare routine, always following you around the house.

Overtime, you'll become his place to rest when he needs to recharge. You're the only time Gojo gets a break from being at the top. It makes you wonder if he ever truly gets to be normal.

Overall, Gojo's love is deceptively delicate because his personality is quite childish, he uses it as a mask to hide how he's really feeling. So you might think everything is going swimmingly until he ups and leaves you. Once he starts showing you that real side of him, that's when you have him wrapped around your finger.

NSFW

This man is incredibly horny. His stamina is very high and he's very kinky. Gojo is a dominant verse whore. It doesn't matter if he's taking or giving, he's always in control. Honey you were not first and you might not be the last, this man is very confident in pleasuring you.

Gojo like I said, is incredibly kinky. He enjoys degrading you, overstimulating you until you beg him to stop, he wants to break you and make you only crave him. Seriously, you might want to think about a safe word because this man won't stop until you're not even speaking coherent sentences. In saying that there are somethings that you can try (key word 'try') to do to make him lose his mind. One of those things is a blowjob, his dick is incredibly sensitive in certain areas, so he'll become a mind-numbed mess if you're good enough. Another is softly begging in his ear and saying how he's the only one who makes you feel this way aka call him your god in bed and he'll bust right then and there.

Phone sex. Legit will call you if you guys haven't been together for a few days and all you hear are his whines and groans. "Guess what I'm doing cutie~"

THIS MAN- you're never safe to answer your phone because one time you opened the snap and it was him lazily jacking his dick. You have a small heart attack every time the notif is a snap from Gojo, just praying you can open it in public and 9/10 you can't.

The type of guy to get handsy in public places. Just in your ear like "Baby pleeeeasssseeeee can we fuck in public, I promise you'll still be able to walk when I'm done."

Conclusion

Gojo is a rollercoaster of a relationship that needs it's rider to be okay with a lot of distance for awhile and sudden disappearances. Without the right criteria, the relationship is doomed to fail.

If you were to break up with him, he would immediately sleep with as many people as he can to numb himself from the pain of having a hole ripped right through him. He'd go back to that childish personality, but you can feel the edge in his words despite his tone.

N. Kento

Nanami gives me 'gave up on the sex of my partner ages ago' energy. Like he has tried relationships with a lot of people and realized all people suck. So you being a man means nothing to him, you just have to prove to him you're not shitty like everyone else.

The type of guy that takes you out on proper dates in the beginning. It's usually dinner because of his job, but sometimes he'll ask you to lunch. Nanami will bring you small gifts like flowers or Knick knacks he thought you'd like.

Nanami likes someone a little younger than himself, probably around 23-24, they still have that idealistic thought process but with realistic foundations. He likes someone who can be serious, but still enjoys things like joyrides or going out bowling.

Nanami is a very uptight guy, so you're going to have to work to get him to relax. When you do, this is when he starts to see you as long time partner rather than someone who is just for fun. Literally goes from stick up his ass, to a big softie that just wants to curl up in bed with you. He'll start smiling more and doing intimate things like bathing together.

Nanami would probably rather have someone outside the sorcerer world so he doesn't have to think about work when he sees you. He wouldn't complain if you were though, gives him a lot less to worry about since he knows you can handle yourself. Doesn't even stress when you go on missions by yourself, he respects your strength.

NSFW

Now Nanami is moderately kinky. He's definitely a top and will not change. He's into ddlb (dom daddy and little boy for my innocents out there.) Very much into control and making you take it, he's not one for brats and will tame that shit right out of you. Doesn't need a safe word, he's very good at gauging your reactions. Really really into deep throating and you better learn how to breathe or you'll be struggling. Likes breeding, so he would be glad you can't have children.

Conclusion

Nanami’s love is traditional and straight forward. He likes routine to a certain degree and that degree ends at stable relationship, everything else is not that fun without a level of risk to him, but he likes that when he comes home, you'll be right there.

if you were to break up with him, Nanami would sigh and say he told himself so. He's hurt, but it'll solidify that people are still and always will be shitty.

R. Sukuna

Sukuna does not do love. period. The only way I could see him giving notice to someone is if they are powerful, someone who can bring him amusement. Sukuna only does thing for his own entertainment end of discussion.

I’m going to be using post-Yuuji Sukuna, so he’s restricted by Yuuji himself and can’t outright cause chaos at all times. This way Sukuna has to spend more time with people than he’d like to, normally he would just kill something once he’s bored, but now he has to deal with them.

Noticed your technique through Yuuji and was amused, much like Megumi, he thought your curse technique had a lot of potential to be devastating. As Yuuji spent more time with you, Sukuna began noticed more things about you, like that you cooked better than Yuuji, were extremely versatile in battle with your technique and so on.

The type to notice your attraction to him and act on it. He can’t really do much since he’s in Yuuji’s body, so he’s going to work with what he’s got. Didn’t care if you’re male or female, he just likes a strong partner so he can go harder during sex.

Your relationship would start with being his toy, something to bring him pleasure that is all. With Sukuna, you must both respect him and not fear him. He’s very big on respect and trust, but hates when someone he views as ‘important’ fears him because they’ll betray him the second they can. Everyone else can fear him, he doesn’t care.

Sukuna is also highly unpredictable and unstable, be prepared for death at a moments notice tbh. He’ll kill you if he feels like it. In a deeper relationship, Sukuna is a hard pressed tsundere, saying things quite harshly. Saying things like, “Here brat, I don’t need you breaking just yet.” “Dumbass, that curse was stronger than you.” “I took care of them because you’re weak.”

Trust between Sukuna and you is a game of high stakes chess, one wrong move and you’re nothing but trash to him. However, succeed in earning his trust and you’ll be rewarded with a loyal man. Though Sukuna hates showing vulnerability, so he’ll treat you the same in public places that he would treat anyone else. Alone, he’s alright with whatever as long as it doesn’t annoy him.

Surprisingly protective. He’ll kill curses he deems are a problem to you or rip a person limb from limb if he found a hair missing from your head. Doesn’t understand why you don’t let him handle it, he’s way stronger than you.

Is almost never soft with you unless he’s extremely tired or just waking up. Holding you as close as he can and telling you not to go. Don’t bring it up either, he’ll end you if you tell anyone.

Will never tell you, but likes touching you, you’re very soft compared to him. He’s the type of guy to have callous from years of fight and doesn’t really care about his skin to much because he’s a God in his eyes.

Would rather surrender himself to a church than admit he gets slightly giddy when you remember small details about him. Like this man has a lot of history, so when you know a tiny random detail about him, his non-existent heart shutters a little.

Nsfw

This man is extremely kinky during sex. I pray for your well being because honestly I don’t know if you’re going to live through sex with him. A dom top period, that last person to even insinuate they could top him was added to his innate domain permanently.

He’s into completely dominating you and make sure you know he owns you. B I G into impact play, slapping you a lot until you’re a beautiful red. Degrading and humiliating you, honestly would let people watch so they know that you’re his property.

Actually really likes his partner to be a brat, man loves breaking you and turning you into a submissive bunny just for him. Honestly he just likes pushing people beyond their limits, like really into emotional play, he wants to see your expressions when he does something. Ooo objectification, will use you like a foot stool and sit on you. Man in general will work you hard.

In saying all that, immaculate aftercare because he knows your mind is too far gone to remember him being this caring and soft for you. Literally bathes you and gets you into bed curled up on him. Also makes sure your body didn’t sustain a lot of damage during sex.

Do. Not. Taunt. Sukuna. It will not end well. “Huuuh? You think you can handle more little boy?” Eyes narrowed and smile too tight. You’ve awoken the beast and he’s not going to leave anything unbroken.

Conclusion

Sukuna’s love is... well a bike ride through hell? To be honest you’ll never know if he loves you. Everything about him is highly unpredictable and dangerous, you could end up as worm food in seconds.

Breaking up with Sukuna... you’re joking right? You don’t have the balls to tell a man who could split you into a million pieces with a flick of the wrist, you’re breaking up with him , right?

Seriously he’ll kill you, no hesitation. It’s either realize you’re stuck with him or die. I think most people would assume he never cared at first, but he did care and now you want to leave him? Absolutely not. He set everything down for you and he’ll be damned if he lets you live without him.

T. Aoi

(First and foremost- why is it so hard to find Toudou headers.)

Okay, I’m sorry but Toudou to me is a straight guy, so I can’t really see him with a male. But, if it were to happen, I think it would go like this:

Being childhood friends with Toudou, you were used to his eccentric personality and sometimes extreme antics.

This man is EXTREMELY comfortable with you. You guys grew up together, so some of the things you guys do together would definitely be seen as way too much for friends. I’m talking sharing the same bed, bathing together, using each other’s things without permission. To you guys, you’ve been doing this since you were little, so neither of you think twice.

I think there would be a trigger that would make Toudou realize he’s more into you than being friends. Like maybe someone flirting with you, he’d at first think he’s being replaced as a friend, but it’s much deeper than that. Definitely debates in his head about what he’s feeling toward you. After going back and forth with his type of girl in his head, he’ll come to terms with it.

This is when he’ll start noticing things he’s never payed that much attention to before. Things like how small you’re compared to him, the way clothes fitted to your body, how pretty you actually were and most important difference- how he’s never noticed you have the fattest ass he’s ever seen.

Seriously this man’s sexuality went from women to women + you.

Toudou isn’t the type to wait either, as soon as he knows how he feels, he confesses. He’s the type of guy to say “take it or leave it, that is how I feel.”

You kinda just stand there. Like, huh? Toudou are you feeling okay? Have- have you been cursed? There’s no way, Toudou middle name pussy pounder Aoi just said he was into you romantically... right?

After the shock, you reciprocated his feelings and began dating.

Now, this man- S U P E R affectionate and devoted. Always wanting to hold hands or link arms. He loves cuddling and playing with your hair while you sleep on him. Puddy in your hands if you give him a massage.

Toudou is immensely dedicated. He knows your favorite foods down to the amount of salt you use on your fries, knows what sizes you prefer for hoodies, shirts, button ups and so on, and this man knows your favorite movies by heart.

He’s the type to buy you something simply because you said it was starting to give you problems.

Lovvvvessss dates. I mean he’s a hopeless romantic, he wants to take you on really cheesy dates that you’d see honeymoon couples go on.

The type to want to match clothing or jewelry.

If you’re a sorcerer, he’s wanting to train everyday, he likes seeing you in action. Double points if you can match him in strength too. He respects your strength enough to not worry about you, he’s confident in his S/o’s abilities.

NSFW

Top. Enough said. Ok but seriously, he wants to clap you cheeks so bad.

Toudou has the biggest size kink too, I’m talking like he’s the type to point right at your navel and say “I’m right here baby~ can you feel me filling you?”

His definitely into railing. His favorite position is the mating press, allows him to hit deeply and as hard as he wants.

Lovesss when you whine and beg. He wants to see how much you can take before your begging him to let you cum.

The type of guy to leave your ass a nice reddish purple color. Just two big ass hand prints on you ass and hips.

✨i m m a c u l a t e✨ aftercare. It’s almost like he’s worshipping you when he’s cleaning you up and making sure you’re taken care of.

Conclusion

Being with Toudou is like being with an Aries, he’s high energy and can get easily bored. He enjoys someone who excites him both mentally and physically. Loves a challenge. Toudou’s love is like a concentrated ball of sunlight, it’s hot and bright. He’s overly devoted to you and tells you how much you mean to him all the time.

If you break up with him, he’s the type to hold his head high until he’s alone and then he breaks down, crying into his hands. Thinking, “Was I too much?” “Maybe I wasn’t enough?” He’s confident, but he’s still a person with insecurities.

[hyunsuks-beanie]

It'll Always Be You

Lee Felix × reader; angst, but with a fluffy ending; 2923 words; lovers to exes and back

A/N So Felix has me feeling all sorts of things today, bc of how good he looked during the performance. So here's a scenario for our Sunshine!

"Here's your order and have a nice day," you smile to the female customer in front of you, before handing a pack of cookies to her child. Once the leave, you let out a sigh and look at your best friend who's cleaning the counter next to you. "All done for today!," you exclaim, to which your friend looks up and smiles, before taking off and folding her apron. "So, what are your plans for tonight?," she asks, making you give her a knowing look. She to her eyes before saying, "How long are you gonna stay cooped up inside your house? The break up was two years ago for heaven's sake, you need to start living your life again." "Hey, I am living my life, it's just that, unlike you, I am not interested in going out and meeting new people every day. I meet enough strangers while working here, so there's no need to go clubbing daily," you shrug.

When all she does in reply is pout, you chuckle and say, "Okay, how about we go for a movie tomorrow? My treat." Her face lights up at that, and she gives you a tight hug before saying, "I really want to meet your ex once though, just so I can break his nose." You giggle "Oh he's dead and gone."

Oh, if only you knew.

Once you send your friend off, you start tidying up your little bakery up. This was the place that helped you get over your breakup, which had been messy to say the least. You had immersed yourself fully in your work, because you knew it was one thing that would never hurt you or break your trust.

You sigh lovingly at the memories of setting up and running your bakery, turning your back against the front door. And just as you are reminiscing you hear the door open, causing you to turn. The moment you do so, however, you regret it, because standing there, staring at you wide-eyed, is your ex, otherwise known as Stray Kids' Lee Felix. You both continue to stare at each other for a while, before he finally breaks the silence (and your trance) by whispering, "Y/N."

You clear your throat, and say, "I'm sorry, but we're closed for the day." He rushes to the and hurriedly replies, "Please, it's rather urgent. My friend Hyunjin is really craving some blueberry pie, and he refuses fo join practice before I bring him what he wants." "I told you, I'm sorry, but I can't help you today. You can come back tomorrow though," you say, not looking into his eyes. "Please Y/N, Chan hyung is getting really angry, he's gonna ground me along with Hyunjin," Felix reasons, and you find yourself giving in to his pleading eyes and pouty lips.

"Fine, wait a minute," you say, making him crack a smile. Boy have you missed that smile of his, you think, before mentally slapping yourself for still not being able to resist him, even though he broke your heart to pieces when he broke up with you over the phone two years ago, telling you that he could no longer do long distance with you being all the way in Australia. It wasn't the breakup that hurt you though, it was the fact that he had found someone better and closer to him, or so he said.

Little did you know, though, that the company had he had never really found anyone else, that he didn't want to find anyone else. The company had made him lie to you when they came to know he was secretly dating. He tried to put up a fight, but the company started threatening him about the group facing consequences. He knew you'd see right through him if he told you the truth, so he had to lie to you in order to make you hate him, just so you could move on in life. He meant well, but he never knew he hurt you so bad that you'd give up on dating and love altogether.

"Here you go," you say while handing him his parcel. He thanks you, while contemplating if he should make small talk. Mustering up the courage, he asks, "How have you been?", while looking down. "Fine," you reply, "Congrats on the comeback." His head snaps up at that, as he says, "I didn't know you knew I had a comeback," "It was all over the news, Felix. Stray Kids are really making it big," you swallow before adding, "Your partner must be really proud of you," complete with a fake smile plastered on your face.

Felix winces at your words, not knowing what to say. In the end, he settles with, "How long have you been running this bakery?" "Since about a month after we broke up." When he gives you a confused expression, you sigh and add, "I was kinda already about to move to Seoul when you told me that you had found someone else. I was gonna surprise you, but you ended up surprising me instead."

"Y/N, I-I never knew. I'm so sorry, I-," he says, but you cut him off. "I-I t-think you should leave," you say, with tears threatening to spill. "Let me explain, please. I swear I'll come clean, please, just give me a chance." "No Felix, I can't give you any chance, you blew it up when you hurt me so bad that it made scared of ever loving again. Please.....j-just go," you say, shutting your eyes close. Dejected, he turns around to leave, but not before saying, "I'm sorry," one more time. Once he leaves, you sink down to the floor, crying. "Why did you have to ruin me so bad?," You whisper.

You don't, however, notice that just outside the door, Felix too, is crying hysterically as he gets into his car.

Upon reaching the JYP building, Felix rushes to the washroom to try and dry his eyes and hide any signs that he's been crying. "I still love you. I never stopped, but gosh, why did I have to be such an idiot to let you go? And that too, in the worst way possible?," he says to his reflection in the mirror, thinking back to your broken expression. Slamming his fist against the sink, he curses at himself.

Once he's finally sobered up a little, Felix goes back to the practice room to give Hyunjin his pie. Though he has half a mind to just call in sick and go home and weep, he knows the group needs him. "Here you go, Hyun," he forces a smile onto his face when Hyunjin thanks him. Chan notices his slumped shoulders, but shrugs it off as tiredness. "Now that everyone is satisfied, can we get back to practice?," he asks. Once all the boys agree, rehearsals begin again, but Felix can't find it in himself to focus. He keeps making mistakes, which finally results in Chan stopping the music, grabbing his hand, and taking him out the practice room and to his studio.

"What is it, Lix? You've been distracted ever since you came back from the bakery. Come on, I know something is bothering you, it isn't like you to lose focus. Tell me what it is," Chan says, sternly but gently, his concern for the younger boy evident. "It's nothing, hyung. I'm just tired," Felix tries to evade the question, but Chan presses on. "I'm not buying that, and I'm not gonna have you distracted during performances or practices, either. I can't risk you injuring yourself or any of the boys, so I'm saying again. Spit. It. Out. Leader's orders."

Felix sighs, running a hand through his hair. After a pause, he finally says, "I saw Y/N today. The bakery, it is owned by them." Chan's eyes go wide at this, since he's the only one who knows the circumstances under which you both broke up, and is also the only one who knows about how much Felix regrets letting you go, in the worst possible way. "What happened? Were they....rude to you? Or did they do something?" "What? No hyung, they were nothing but nice to me. We made small talk, and they told me that they were planning to surprise me by moving to Seoul, when I broke up with them. I hurt them so bad that they are scared of ever loving again," Felix says, taking shaky breaths between sentences as tears welled up in his eyes again.

"I messed up so bad hyung, you know I still love them. They're the nicest, most perfect, most lovable person I've ever known, and I damaged them so badly, gosh I feel so guilty," he breaks down again, causing Chan to wrap his arms around him, giving him a shoulder to cry on. Once Felix calms down, Chan says, "You know what you have to do now, right?" "What do you mean?"

"You say you still love them. You say you're guilty. But instead of telling these things to me, you need to tell this to them. Apologize to them, tell them the whole story. Tell them there was never anyone else, and that it's always been them. You didn't fight for them back then, because you were worried for us. But you can fight for them now, because we got your back. Win them back, Lix. Make up for your mistake."

"B-but hyung, why would they ever want to take me back again? I've been nothing but a jerk to them." "Well, in that case, you can't blame them. But they deserve to at least know the truth. They deserve to know that your intentions were not wrong. If they choose to walk away after that, they will at least have had gotten closure. Who knows, it might help them muster the courage to go out and love again. You owe this to them, Lix."

Chan succeeded in knocking some sense into Felix, as the next day, the younger boy found himself in front of your bakery, preparing a long speech explaining why he did what he did to you. He's so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn't notice your best friend walk out the bakery and stand next to him. "Uhm, are you okay?," she asks, surprising him. "O-oh, uh-uhm, yeah," says Felix, while noticing her uniform, that's identical to yours. "Do you work with Y/N?" "Yeah, we're friends and partners, and on most days, we work together. But they called in sick today, and told me they'd cover the evening shift. How do you know them though?"

To this, Felix finds himself at a loss for words, but he figures if he's gonna come clean to you, he needs an ally. And what better person than your best friend? So he takes down his mask slightly, making your friend gasp in response. "You Felix from Stray Kids! What are you doing here?" "I-I came here to meet Y/N. We broke up two years ago due to a mistake I made, but I need to explain things to them. They deserve to know the truth." He looks up to see your friend glaring at him, as she says, "That was you? You broke my best friend's heart? How could you? I'm not letting you anywhere near them, you jerk"

"Please, just give me 5 minutes, and I'll explain everything to you. Then you can decide if I deserve one more chance." When your friend doesn't say anything, Felix launches into his own version of things, explaining himself and his actions. Once he's done, your friend is still glaring at him, but he notices a smile tugging at her lips.

"You have been nothing but a complete and utter jerk to them. And honestly, you deserve to get your ass kicked by them. But I know that they still love you, and the way you are repenting what you did tells me that you love them too. So I give you my blessing. They'll be here in the evening at 6, be here before then." Felix hugs her super tight at that, with the biggest smile plastered on his face while thanking her. She adds, "But if you hurt them again, I swear I'm gonna murder you with my own two hands." "It won't come to that, I promise."

Felix arrives at the bakery at 10 minutes to six, and the moment he enters, your friend shoves him into the kitchen, asking him to stay there till you come. Once she leaves, he starts pacing up and down, raking his hand nervously through his hair. He tries to prepare what he is going to say, but gives up when he realizes that it would all go out the window when he sees you.

Meanwhile, the moment you step inside the bakery, your friend pretends to be busy setting stuff up on the counter, and asks you to bring in some things from the kitchen. Unassuming, you start walking towards the kitchen doors, when she notices your swollen eyes and exclaimed "Babe, have you been crying?" You muster up a fake smile and tell him that it's just you not feeling well, but unknown to you, Felix heard your friend, and guilt washes over him again. But he doesn't have time to wallow in it, as soon after, you step in.

The way your expression morphs into one of pure sadness breaks his heart into a million pieces, and when you say, "What more do you want from me?" while holding back tears, it takes everything in him to stop from falling to his knees and begging forgiveness. He tries to speak, but you hold up a finger, indicating you aren't finished. "Now that you've found me again, was it not enough for you to have me admit that what you did to me made me stop believing in love? Do you even want to rub it in my face by telling me how happy your are with your partner? If that is so, then please, just get lost, I'm begging you."

Tears are now streaming down your face, and Felix finds himself saying, "Just please. Let me explain. You deserve to know the truth and my feelings and intentions. If after that, you want me to leave, I swear, you will never have to see me again." You can't look at him, but when you don't reply, he says, "I promise that this is the real truth behind what I did. Please hear me out. I lied when I said I had found someone else. There is no 'someone else,' and there never will be one. The only person I've loved, the only person I still love, is you. It'll always be you."

"The company made me break up with you, and threatened me that the group will face consequences if I didn't do as they had asked. I that that if I outright told you the real reason, it would hurt you. And so, I decided to lie to you in order to make you hate me, even if it broke my heart. But never did I ever think that it would damage you so badly, and I know I've been stupid, but I can't help but ask for you to forgive me, and give me one last chance. I know I've been a total jerk to you, and even now, I'm being nothing but selfish, but I just want you to know that I still love you. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, and I'll walk away forever. But you deserved to get closure, and I hope that if you do choose to give up on me, you will now be able to love again, and trust again."

By the time he stops talking, the both of you are sobbing hard. You ask him, "Are you done?" When he nods, you say, "You say that you will walk away if I choose to give up on you. But do you really think I'll be able to give up on you? If I couldn't stop loving you even when you broke up with me in the cruelest way possible, what makes you think I'll stop loving you now that I know that you went through the same pain as me? You knew what the truth was, and you still had to hide it. I can only imagine how hurtful that must have been, Felix. I hate myself for believing your stupid lie, for ever doubting the love you had for me. I'm sorry, and I forgive you."

Felix looks up at you, surprised. It takes him some time to process your words, and when he does, he asks you, "What does that mean....for us?" To this, you shyly reply, "Well, I never stopped loving you, and if you didn't either, then should we give us another try?" Felix smiles the brightest he has in ages, as he slowly comes closer to you. Cupping your face, he wipes off your tears, as you proceed to do the same. "I promise I'll never let you go again," he says softly. You giggle and say, "You'd do well to keep that promise," before biting your lip.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?," he asks. You nod in response, causing him to gently place his lips on yours. And for the first time in a while, you feel like you're home.

[byulsgrease]

as you wish

some good ol’ party fun.

(moonbyul x fem reader, ~1.2k words, original req here)

a/n: been a while since I last wrote/posted an nsfw (just checked and it’s been almost a month exactly), I feel very rusty 💀 fun to write after that break tho!

cw: smut (fingering, choking mention, exhibitionism), dubcon (alcohol) - consent is key, you can’t really consent under the influence, etc. you get my drift. minors dni as always

This may as well be college all over again. But maybe with better beer. The room lights are out, save for a couple color-cycling LED strips on the walls. Soju bottles of every flavor imaginable cover nearly every open table surface at varying degrees of fullness, interspersed with empty Yakult bottles and discarded red foil wrappers. The blasting music oscillates between American top 40 and latest comeback releases, you have no clue who's managing the Spotify queue.

You're chilling out with Byulyi, sitting with your back up against the arm of the sofa as she sits facing forward with beer can in hand, her thighs covered by your knees. Both of you are relatively laid back drinkers, choosing to sit out from the random play dance that ensues every time a song comes on. You laugh together, thankful both of you have high tolerance while watching Yongsun stumble over herself on one side of the room (with Chorong at her side to steady her), Wheein and Hyejin breaking it down on the make-shift carpeted dance floor. There are others here you recognize too, although names and faces have begun muddling together in your mind, trying to think through your tipsy haze.

Byul intermittently sips her beer while lazily tracing circles over your kneecaps with her free hand, fingers trailing through the fallen condensation droplets atop them. It’s a bit of relief from the heat of the room and deep warmth from the alcohol. You’re probably a little farther gone than her, but not by much.

You lean onto her, cheek squishing into her shoulder. Her lips bump the top of your head for a kiss and she watches you instinctively turn your chin up to her, eyes pleading for a real one. Byul happily obliges, smirking against your lips when you recoil at the shock at the temperature differential created by the can. Normally you'd be the one reeling in her pda, but you’re just feeling a bit more forward tonight than usual.

Everyone at this party knows the both of you to some degree, and at minimum knows you’re together. The coolness of her lips on yours have you chasing after them, sitting up for real to press your body in closer. Normally you’d be the last person to want to kiss in public, and even less so in front of her friends, but something tonight makes you absolutely not care, whether for the alcohol or just the atmosphere. Or maybe just her?

Your fingertips approach the collar of her shirt and press in, earning you all but a groan as tingles shoot up Byul’s back, wishing your hands were just a little higher to press in a little harder. Too bad public choking's considered indecent. Setting her beer can on the arm of the couch behind you, her hands find your thighs, fingers slowly but surely working their way up. You've got a long cardigan on that drapes over your sides, thankfully long enough to more or less block out the fact that she's well on her way to passing beneath the hem of your pleated skirt.

"What are you doing?" you murmur with a smile against her lips, encircling one of her wrists with the fingers of your free hand. There's a cautionary urgency in your voice, but not enough to actually make her stop— you don't want her to.

She moves her head to the side, pressing cold-lipped kisses up your jawline. The air she blows across your ear when she gets to it sends a shiver throughout your entire body as she replies to your question—“Just having my own fun.” Good enough for you, so you bend a knee to slide your leg behind her back, now basically straddling her body from the side. You go back to kissing her again and truly, you could probably just do this all night.

Her hands continue their original task, teasingly working their way up your thighs. It’s already hot amidst the dancing people and poor apartment ventilation, but the room suddenly feels 10 degrees warmer at the prospect of being caught, but at minimum her members probably already knew what was going on if they’d taken the chance to look over.

Byul hooks her pointer finger into where your panties meet the crease of your leg, tugging the now-wet fabric away from your body and brushing the skin underneath with her knuckle.

“If you’re really doing this here, don’t you wanna go a little faster?” you hiss. There’s already sweat beading on the back of your neck in anticipation.

“Be careful what you wish for,” she warns cunningly before surprisingly obliging your request, pushing your underwear aside with her ring and pinky fingers to press her thumb to your clit. You press your lips together to avoid the audible moan that’s about to escape you, instead letting a forced breath out of your nose. “Oh c’mon, you can open your mouth for me, can’t you?” she coos.

It’s almost easier to forget there are other people around and just lose yourself in her hands, but even your tipsy mind knows better than to make a total fool of yourself. You just press your lips into her ear and whimper quietly under her touch, the sound deafening to her. It affects her more than she’d ever willingly admit, but hey, this is about you.

When she finally sinks a couple fingers into you with absolute ease, your teeth dig into her lower lip. She chuckles gloatingly through her nose at how obviously worked up you are, taunting you sweetly with a whisper. As much as you want to, you resist throwing your head back in pleasure to mitigate the risk of someone catching onto what’s happening. Instead you just focus on keeping your lips connected and bodies close, your sounds drowned out by the music but just loud enough for her. She presses a thumb to your clit, stroking down while simultaneously curling the fingers she already has inside of you.

She continues like this for a while, knowing full well what makes you absolutely fall apart at her touch. Your pants pitching higher and more ragged in her ear signal how close you are, and just before you’re about to cum she pulls her hand out from under you completely, drying her finger on the underside of your skirt’s folds.

“Ww–what? Why?” you stammer at the sudden loss of contact.

“You just asked me to go faster. Who said that meant you had to finish?” she responds with that sarcastic questioning look. “Good luck with the mess you’ve got going on down there,” waving her hand in the general vicinity of your skirt with a smirk on her face, prepping to get up off the couch.

She’s not leaving you in this state. Or rather, you’re not going to let her. You aggressively clutch her hand in yours and drag her by the arm, leading her toward the nearest empty bedroom to finish what she started.

“Get a room!” Hyejin shouts slurred as you march by. Wheein nods aggressively in agreement beside her and you can’t help but laugh in the face of your nervousness and play along, wondering if they’re just poking their usual fun or if they know what you were actually up to that entire time.

“Your wish is our command!” you holler back in her direction with a wink, whisking Byul into the open bedroom and swinging the door shut to make her finish what she started.

[dottiechan]

ICEBREAKER Pt. 2 & 3

Read on AO3 (link in bio)

Part 1 | Part 2&3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader x Hunter

Wordcount: 2060 (Pt. 2); 2050 (Pt. 3)

Summary:

Pt. 2:  Three are awake on the Marauder. Two are holding onto one another. One is barely holding on. (Hunter-centric chapter)

Pt. 3:  You can only keep saying no to your old addictions for so long before they return with full force. (Crosshair-centric chapter)

Warnings: cursing, smoking & implied nicotine addiction

Part 2

The stars streak and melt against the abyss of space, unsteady and bleeding. You miss the stationary points of light, precise and dependable and easy. Stars make constellations that guide you, that show you the way even when you're lost. Hyperspace just confuses you, chills you to the very bones, makes you feel more lost than you already do. Which, to be fair, is not too difficult right now.

Having left the ice planet behind after the successful elimination of a remote Separatist research centre, you're en route to Kamino once more. What's more, you have the cockpit all to yourself, and you sit with your knees up, head rested back, throat exposed, undone by the comfort of solitude as you allow yourself to lower your guard. It'd be peaceful on any other day.

But your mind is plagued by Tech's revelation.

Your rational side knows he must have made a mistake. After all, what's the chance of either of them liking you? And why would they? You're fighting together, and you're bleeding, and sweating, and trying, and maybe even dying together. But that's nothing more than what's expected of you, of each soldier of the GAR, clone or otherwise. You're coexisting now, but you could be reassigned at any moment really. You try to convince yourself that you wouldn't feel the change, that working with a squad other than the Bad Batch wouldn't chafe you terribly, but you see through your own lies.

Of course you'd hate it.

Where would you be without Tech's advice and sage-like aura? Without Wrecker's enthusiastic support? Without Crosshair correcting your stance when you shoot, without him always watching your six? Without Hunter's hand on your shoulder, saving you from dangerous situations, but also, and maybe most importantly, even from yourself?

It would be easy to answer those questions. But you don't have the power to do so now.

So you sit back, wishing for simpler times, times when your greatest worry was Bracca and thinking they hated you. You'd rather they hate you than... than what Tech said. Somehow the idea of either of them liking you in an unprofessional way, even remotely, sends your head spinning. It makes your throat constrict, it makes you feel unworthy and angry and confused beyond belief. The idea of both of them liking you at the same time - as outlandish as it sounds - just makes you absolutely lose your mind.

So you try not to think about them, you try not to think about Hunter's softness, and Crosshair's piercing gaze, and what it would be like to let them close to you. They already feel closer than what you're comfortable with. Maybe they are already closer than you know.

But they can't get any closer. You can't let them, and you promise yourself to shut them the fuck out. No, you don't deserve this, you don't deserve them fucking up whatever respect you've built up with the squad. And you don't have the right to mess up their friendship either. They belong with each other, all of them, and no matter how much you like calling them your boys inwardly, they'll never be yours. They'll always be a family, with or without you. And just who are you to tear it apart?

You try so hard to fit in, but it all seems too much, as if the four walls around you were pressing closer and closer until you suffocated, and you breathe in shakily, afraid of your doubts manifesting into anxiety.

But the slight tremor in your fingers is a telltale sign you can’t ignore. You are good at repressing emotions in the heat of battle, but you weren’t engineered to feel no stress. Nature formed you to thrive on it.

...

He's been awake ever since you refused to turn in and insisted on staying in the cockpit. Hyperspace en route to Kamino is the safest possible space travel for the squad, but he doesn't argue with you. At some point, Crosshair is up - he knows it's him from the very specific way his feet touch the ground. He skulks about the ship for a while before returning to bed. And then it's just you.

He's trying his very best to ignore you, he presses his pillow over his head and bites down on his lower lip so hard it almost draws blood. He hates the power you have over him, he hates how he can't have anything to himself anymore that isn't tainted by thoughts of you. And apparently, he can't even fucking sleep without knowing you're okay, calm, quiet, dozing off, hopefully dreaming about him.

But your next breath, it really sounds disturbed, almost gasping, and his heart clenches in his chest. He'd protect you from your very own thoughts too if he only knew how, but he grows shy whenever he sees an opportunity to really be there for you. All he ever wanted was to make you happy, and he doesn't know how it ended up like this, how his own happiness ended up being intertwined with yours so irreversibly. His own breathing grows a little more restless, chest rising and falling with your anxiety, throat tightening with your worry, mouth running dry with your confusion. And he'd take it all from you if he could, he'd drain you of all of your worries and pains if he knew you'd feel better.

He says he hates the power you have over him, but what he really hates is his inability to fight it.

He slips out of his bed, carefully and quietly to not wake the others, for once in his life grateful for Wrecker's loud snoring as it covers the sound of his footsteps on the metal flooring.

Before opening the door leading to the cockpit, he looks down at himself in his blacks, bandana abandoned with his gear back at the crew's quarters. He runs his fingers through his long curls in vain, fighting the urge to turn back and make himself more presentable, someone you could like. He's not doing this for himself, he scolds himself, but his insecurities keep buzzing in the back of his mind as he presses the button on the control panel and enters.

You've been crying.

The red rims around your eyes shatter his heart into a million pieces almost instantly, and he struggles to say anything for a second as you stare back at him wide eyed, startled. You're beautiful and sad and Hunter just wants to undo your pain any way he can. He'd be your collateral damage if you'd only let him.

"You should be resting," you say suddenly, the heels of your palms flying up to your tear streaked cheeks in a futile attempt to hide the fact that you've been crying. He wishes you wouldn't, he wishes you were comfortable with just being unapologetically yourself around him, sharing whatever sorrows and joys you had in your heart with him.

"I couldn't... You..."

"I'm fine." The little lie is so soft, almost like a caress against his cheek, a plea to let you wallow in your own misery. He'd never forgive himself for walking away now, and he can't understand why you want him to treat you so shitty.

"As your superior, I have a duty to make sure you're alright." He wants to wince when his words escape his mouth - he sounds so strict and stuck up and distant, and he wants to take it all back when a sour smile appears on your lips for a split second.

"I'm not crying as a soldier."

Hunter wills himself to sit, and forces himself to keep holding your gaze even though he wants to retreat. He's afraid, he's never been so close to breaking around you, but that damned shine in your bloodshot eyes doesn't let him back down. He knows he's already started down his road. Maybe it was time to commit to it.

"Well, I'm not asking as your sergeant then. I'm asking as your-"

"Friend?"

"I'm whatever you need me to be."

"I can't talk about it," you say after a short pause, looking away, leaving Hunter wonder whether that flush on your cheeks is because of him or not. He's disappointed you don't trust him, but he can't really be mad at you. He probably wouldn't trust himself in your place. And yet he can't stop yearning and wanting and tripping over his damn feet to make you feel better.

"That's okay. I'm still here, if you need me."

But maybe you don't need him, he thinks, his heart sinking, as he watches the colours of hyperspace reflect in your silent eyes. He stands, a hand stretching out towards you. He grabs the leather of your seat, digits sinking into it with helplessness before letting go completely, of the headrest, of your sadness, of you, and allows his own hell to swallow him up completely. He'll go back to his cot, and Wrecker snoring, and Tech mumbling in his sleep, and he'll listen to your misery in silence, suffering along mutely with every hitched, disturbed breath of yours. If that's how you want it to be, then he doesn't have the strength to change your mind.

You grab him in the corridor, catching him off-guard. He's always been off-centre around you, but so far it was only your retreats that unbalanced him. Your proximity is another intoxicating distraction, and for a moment, he feels like he can't move, he can't swallow, he can't reach out to touch you.

But you're hugging him, and how could he not return it?

Change comes slowly for him. First, it's his fingers that find your hair, and they tangle themselves in it at the nape of your neck tentatively. Your face is turned away from him, but your cheek is pressed firmly against his shoulder, and your arms have him locked in a tight hug, your ice cold fingertips seeping in his own heat. Hunter can't think straight, but he knows he's your lifeline now, and he slowly warms up, and tightens his embrace around you, and eventually holds you as if the world was ending, and you seem to need it. If only he could make your problems disappear simply by squeezing you against himself tightly enough.

It's unprofessional, so unprofessional, and yet nothing felt more natural to him than you in his arms, his nerve endings singing with the joy of your proximity. Now that he knows how sweet having you this close can truly be, he doesn't know how he's ever going to go entire days without your embrace. As if he needed anything else to prevent him from sleeping peacefully. He doesn't think he's slept well ever since you joined his team, and he doesn't seem to find it in his heart to regret it. It's bad, and destructive, and unhealthy, but it's also out of control, and Hunter promises himself not to stand in its way anymore.

No more swimming against the tide.

He just wishes, so desperately wishes he didn't have to hurt Crosshair in the process.

...

Fucking hell, he knew it'd hurt, he knew it'd come, inevitable and destructive like a tsunami, but he never actually believed it would be this bad, this paralysing. He hates it, he just wants it all to stop, he just wants to get out. But loving you doesn't seem to have an exit, and just like with breathing, the only way he'll stop doing it is when he dies.

But what's even worse than all the repressed anger and helplessness and loneliness is the hope, small and fragile but blinking steadfastly amidst the darkness of his feelings. The hope that - despite you being in Hunter's arms right now - somehow you'll still end up falling in love with him. It's false hope, Crosshair knows, but he just can't help holding onto it like a fucking lifeline.

He leans his head against the doorframe for a second, dizzy and momentarily overcome with sickness. Then he turns and lays down, curling up alone. Crosshair can't watch another second of this, of Hunter acting out all his forbidden fantasies until there's nothing left for him anymore.

He squeezes his eyes shut, but all he sees is Hunter's fingers tangled in your hair.

Part 3

You glance sideways, head propped up on your hands. He's surveying the street once more through the scope of his rifle. You consider yourself a rational person, someone who's not gross and would never violate any lines of decency, but there's something so unbelievably attractive about Crosshair as he aims his sniper rifle that you have a hard time restraining yourself from staring too much. Well, maybe you're willing to cross a few lines for him, but what the hell.

This stakeout is lengthy and has you stretched a little too thin anyways. Might as well pass the time with something.

Crosshair seems bored as well, more restless than usual. He lowers his gun and slings it over his shoulder, and you observe his lazy but meticulous movements, hoping to catch his attention before the silence drives you absolutely crazy. He comes to sit beside you on the rooftop as you watch the busy streets below you. You both know the rhythm of this place by heart now. First, there's a great bustling crowd in the late afternoon, mostly the poor workers of the adjacent factory fighting their way over to the beaten up shuttlebus station, and the merchants packing up shop and going home, leaving their stalls behind for the night. Then there are a few odd stragglers later, mostly seeking out the cheap watering hole on the other end of the street. And then around midnight, your separatist spy would finally show up to drop off his intel in the form of old, harmless looking datacards in a seemingly abandoned alley that ends in a cul-de-sac.

And then of course you'd alert the squad before the intel was retrieved, and Tech would make copies and start tracing the spy's sources, while Hunter would inform Commander Cody about the developments. Because there's a war on the other side of the planet that your information can help win, and while things look sad and boring here, at least this dusty city hasn't been bombed into oblivion yet.

"I can't wait to finally get the jump on this guy."

"Tech says we ought to wait a few more days," you remind Crosshair as you stretch your feet out in front of you.

"We're wasting our time here. There's a battle to be won on this very planet. So why are we stuck with this boring job?"

"Don't you like spending time with me?" you tease him, but you're scared of his answer, so you don't give him enough time to respond. "This is important. We're saving lives, Cross."

He bristles at the nickname, but nods reluctantly in the end. You hope it's the job he can't stand, and not you, because deep down you like this, you like not being shot at, you like having the upper hand, you like spending time with Crosshair, away from Hunter's suffocating lingering heavy with expectations posed towards you. You're none the wiser since you had that conversation with Tech some time ago, but you're all the more confused, and you're trying even harder to get back to how things were before. So maybe taking a page from Crosshair’s book and outright ignoring Hunter wasn’t the smartest idea, but you don’t have a better one yet.

"And who's going to save us before we die of boredom?"

From somewhere he produces a cigarette, and he flicks his toothpick off the roof before placing it between his lips. You raise your eyebrows, and he catches your eyes and smirks. He knows you've been trying to beat your own addiction, he knows how Hunter fucking hates the smell of smoke lingering about you, and maybe at this point he's only doing this to spite him, but he lights it, takes a drag and offers it to you.

"I really shouldn't," you wince, your rekindled craving suddenly running rampant in your veins. "I've been off it for a few months now."

"I've only got the one. But suit yourself," he shrugs, and takes another drag, smoke curling past his parted lips so enticingly that you lean closer involuntarily.

"I can't let you ruin your lungs alone." You break, and extend your hand. He chuckles, his fingers brushing against yours as he passes you the lit cigarette. You inhale the smoke, and you remember why you used to be so hung up on this shit as the nicotine soaks in your blood. Then you look at Crosshair, sweet and angry and oh so bitter Crosshair, and you soak him in too, unsurprised when he triggers the same reaction in you as nicotine does.

You remember why you used to be so hung up on him and you swallow hard, because all you can think about is what Hunter would say if he knew.

...

"I think I'm getting some sleep."

"Knock yourself out."

"I don't get how you're not tired."

"I am." If only you knew just how tired he really is, with all the pretending he has to do, with all the looking away whenever Hunter is by your side, hands drawn to you as if you were magnetic. But you are magnetic, you fucking are, he knows, he has a hard enough time to tear his gaze away from you constantly. He dreads to even think of what it would be like to have to keep his hands away from you too. He'd probably go mad.

That's why he never touches you, he avoids you, he withdraws like the losing party he is.

"Well, spyboy has already made his appearance tonight. It wouldn't be characteristic of him to come back again," you shrug. “Maybe we could both turn in for the night.”

"You really don't understand the concept of a stakeout, do you?" A snort and an adjustment to his posture later he's back to being mean to you because he needs to reinforce those walls he's pulling up between you. He'll be as cold as ice and you will burn your fingers and pull back and never come close to him again. Or at least that's the plan, he can't account for all times he's slipped out, all the times you made him laugh, made his heart race, made him wish he was more bite than bark with you. "There's a reason why we need two people here, remember? Someone needs to watch the street while I'm resting. Otherwise it'd be pretty difficult for me to do my job properly."

You take the bait so easily, and the pout and the crossed arms almost makes him smile. "Oh, so that's all I am here? Your backup? Your sidekick? Number two?"

"Pretty much." It clearly hurts you, but you deserve it a little. After all, he's your number two as well.

"It's such a joy working together with you."

Satisfied, Crosshair turns back to the street, ignoring the ache in his heart. He goes against his own wishes, but he's always taken care of himself, and he knows what's best for him. And pining after you like a lovesick cadet is not it, he can do so much better than that. You'll go now, probably pick a spot on the roof that is far away from him, you'll curl up on your mat and fall asleep, angry with him for the rest of the night.

But damn you, you're probably right, and the spy's not coming back again.

When you sit next to him, he's blinking in confusion, blank, nothing witty coming to mind. You sigh, annoyed but already letting it all go. Your elbows are touching, and he's too afraid to move.

"Do you have another cigarette?"

"You think I was lying when I said I only had the one?"

"Yeah. I think you were planning on waiting for me to fall asleep and then smoke them all alone."

"Smart girl."

The praise awakens something feral and primal in you, but Crosshair is too busy fishing out his pack of smokes to see it. You're sitting under the stars soon, ducking behind the half wall to hide the burning tips of your cigarettes, arms pressed together as you lean into his side more. You flick the ash off absentmindedly, and he watches your fingers, knowing he couldn't possibly look into your eyes now without feeling things he shouldn't feel.

"I don't mind being your sidekick."

And there you go again, fucking up his plans once more as he has nothing smart to say. He just sits, and smokes, and ignores the drumming of his heart in his ears as he focuses on you being so close to him. Just one last slip-up, and he'll do better tomorrow, he'll chase you off, he'll make you fucking hate him. But tonight is his, selfish or not. Tonight he will steal from Hunter, and then he'll never insert himself into your life again.

By the time you've put yours out, he's already lighting a second cigarette, and you blink slowly, exhaustion creeping up on you. Crosshair is about to shove you, about to tell you to fuck off finally and get some sleep, but then you put your head on his shoulder and he shuts up.

He's too scared to move, to ruin this moment. Tomorrow, tomorrow he'll stay true to himself, but tonight, he'll stay true to you.

...

"They've missed their check-in."

"Actually, they haven't. Crosshair gave me a status update not long ago. Looks like it’s all quiet - we won’t be seeing more of our spy tonight.”

While Tech is busy tracing the origins of the spy’s latest intel, Hunter paces up and down the abandoned cellar they established as their momentary camp. This temporary imprisonment has them all restless and stupid and twitchy, and he blames his own jumpy nature on being so understimulated. Listening to nothing but Tech’s datapad and Wrecker’s whining all day in the dark and damp confinement of these four walls is enough to drive him positively mad.

It has nothing to do with not seeing you or hearing your voice for days on end, no. Nothing to do with not catching a whiff of your scent in the mouldy air underground. Nothing to do with knowing you’re up on a rooftop, exposed, with no other than Crosshair.

Hunter trusts him to keep you safe. But he’s being irrational and jealous even though it is totally unwarranted.

Because he loves you.

It was a hard labour, to give birth to that internal confession, but he’s never felt so relieved ever since he’s done it. He finally has a name to put to all the yearning and pain and hope he’s harboured for seemingly endless months. But you’re not ready, he knows that. And maybe he isn’t ready to say those words out aloud either, and yet he knows the day will come. Because in the corridor of the Marauder those few weeks ago, while the rest of the ship slumbered, the two of you shared a moment that meant something.

You’ve been careful not to repeat it again, and he’s respected your wish, but he sees the way you look at him. Sees the purposefulness in your avoidance of him. Hell, he can practically smell your confusion. So he backs up as much as he can to give you the much needed time and space to hopefully figure out how him wanting to be close to you makes you feel.

But he likes to keep an eye on you nonetheless, not necessarily just to keep you safe, but also for that. And allowing you to tag along with Crosshair on a stakeout doesn’t exactly help him do that.

So he paces, dragging along his love for you with every step, ignoring his festering jealousy. Crosshair doesn’t even seem to like you anymore, he’s been vocal about it lately too, so there’s nothing to worry about. Despite it being an irrational fear, he still dreads leaving you alone with him, but he won’t have it. He knows you and his brother better than this. He knows. It’s just his mind playing tricks on him.

And as Hunter paces, Tech occasionally glances up to check on his sergeant, his friend, heart heavy with worry not just for him, or you, or Crosshair, but for the future of the whole squad in general.

[honesthammie]

Prompt 39: Death wants you to be terrified. But the scariest thing is wanting death.

13th Doctor x female curvy reader

Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts, alcohol and drug abuse, domestic abuse, fat phobia

I'm sorry for this. Its really depressing and I've been hesitant on letting you guys see it but I kinda like how it's written. I've made the abuser gender neutral as females can also be abusive. I promise the next one will be much happier!

"Come on (y/n), you can make it! Just jump across and reach for my hand. I promise you won't fall." The Doctors voice echoes across the widening canyon. If you looked down, you would only see pitch black. You didn't know how long you'd fall. Maybe this would be the perfect time to just go for it. Its not like you'd matter, you're only slowing the team down as is.

They wouldn't even be in this mess if you didn't slip and hit the world shattering drill, turning it on full blast. Unfortunately, you smashed the button making it unable to turn it off. Of course the only way you'd be able to turn it off is to actually go towards it. Everyone in the room screamed at you and some raised their tentacles to attack you if the Doctor didn't step in front of you. You know the Doctor noticed you flinching and your eyes gloss over and noticed you bracing for the impact.

You learned over the years to just accept your fate. You can't run from anyone when you weighed this much. You couldn't hide either, which often left you to just accept what was coming and hope nothing broke. Bruises were always easy to cover and so were any cuts but broken bones, that was always on display and you'd have to break your number one rule: never lie. You hated lying. The truth always comes out anyway so why hide it? If you hide it, you get punished worse anyway so why bother?

If you jumped and actually went with the team, you'd get questioned about earlier and about hesitating at jumping. But if you fell, would the Doctor miss you? As much as you hated to admit it, you were absolutely in love with the adorable alien. Why did you hate to admit it? Because she was a goddess and you were a waste of skin and bones. You weren't skinny and you didn't fit in with the team at all. You were only here out of pity.

You remember when you first met the team. You were the only person alive when they searched underneath the hotel. Even the spiders didn't want you. You were at the hotel because you heard about killer spiders and you wanted an out. You could never do it or something would come up stopping you from ending all your misery. You were the complete opposite of the Doctor. She was so brave and said whatever she wanted and didn't really care for the consequences.

You focused on the Doctors sparkling eyes. Despite the situation, she still sparkled with hope and encouragement. She wasn't upset with you. You really wished she was. This would be such an easier decision to make. Your head was pounding and your heart was going faster than her two hearts. Did you even want her upset? You couldn't tell, your head was spinning wildly, one thought going to another without a chance to process the last one.

You had come to a clear decision. You ran back and let momentum do its thing as your feet left the muddy gravel. You felt so free as you glided in the air for a few seconds. It was the most beautiful feeling. No punishment, no tears before going to sleep and no terror of going back home. Just you and gravity.

Then with a clearer mind you regretted your choice. You were horrified. You weren't ready. It wasn't time yet. Graham can't lose you. He'd only recently lost his wife. He'd feel the same as you and that thought terrified you. He'd survived cancer and gained himself a new family. He can't be like you. Ryan needed him, wether he was willing to admit that or not.

Suddenly you panicked and last minute reached your hand out hoping you'd grab something. Anything. You felt a soft warm object and latched on for dear life. You were then lifted up and onto soil. You focused on your breathing a moment and waited for your heart to calm down. You looked up and saw what, or rather who, saved you. You shouldn't have been so surprised to see the Doctors worried face above yours. She gave you a questioning look, knowing the question, you nodded your head and she straightened herself and helped you up.

"That was great (n/n)! So brave of you! Let's go gang, we've gotta turn this drill off before it splits the planet in half!" She shouted as she ran forward, seemingly knowing the way. She didn't let go of your hand until you reached the drill about 10 minutes later. You couldn't help the blushthat formed on your cheeks. The Doctor quickly opened a panel on the side of the drill.

The drill was massive, bigger than the Eiffel Tower and that what was on surface level, it went down much deeper that it had reached halfway to the liquid nitrogen that ran in this cold planet where our magma centre would be. The drill itself was purple and spherical. The panel box was the size of a human head which was about the size of the civilisations sucker pads. Inside were 3 buttons and 1 lever. You needed to type the pattern that would gain the access to the drill and force stop. If it goes wrong, it speeds up rendering this planet uninhabitable.

You watched as the Doctor quickly typed the pattern in. Red,blue,red,red,red,blue,black,black,blue. That was the pattern she quickly pressed in and held the lever down for 10 seconds. Soon the drill came to a halt and the planet was peaceful once again. You all let out a sigh of relief as it stopped.

You made your way back to the chief of the race and explained that they should dismantle and never use that drill again unless they plan to empty the panet of everything it has within. He quickly agreed and the fam made their way back to the TARDIS.

As soon as tye TARDIS was parked on the edge of your solar system, you got into your comfy clothes ready to nap or maybe play a few games to slow your adrenaline until you were tired enough for a full nights rest. You played a few rounds of uno and some poker where you used some bits of metal instead of chips. Eventually everyone had left except you and the Doctor.

You made your way to the doors of the ship and settled down just watching the stars in front of you. If the sentient machine hadn't already been aware of your darkest thought, you would have jumped out there and been amongst them. Just floating eventually turning to nothing but bones drifting, maybe to never be found. All the sights you've seen and yet this is where you were the most impressed. This was your home, your galaxy and because of all the light pollution, you had never been fully aware of how many neighbours you had because you had been literally blind. This was only stuff captured and faked and now, it's forever in your mind.

You heard movement and a shuffle next you. You knew who it was because she was the only other person awake and you knew she was going to ask and not let it drop until you tell her truth. And you were going to give her it but that doesn't mean you were ready to do so but you had to, someone had to know. Maybe you wanted help or maybe just someone to listen and know everything making you mentally naked in front of them.

The Doctor waited a few moments. She was figuring out how to word it without sounding horrible. "Is everything alright at home?" She asked her voice laced with genuine concern. "Sorry if this sounds a bit abrupt but let me explain. You've been really weird lately. You hardly speak and when you its with as few words as possible, you keep going elsewhere mentally and Rassilion forbid anyone getting angry with you! I also noticed how you hesitated today when jumping and I saw your worry and panic when you jumped. I think I know but I can't help you if you don't at least tell me what is going on! And don't change the subject or anything, just answer me please. I lo-. I can't lose you too." Her voice raised a little as she panicked just speaking about it. Halfway through she grabbed both of your hands and continued her speech.

You looked deep into her eyes for any sign of a lie but there wasn't one. Just like at the canyon, her eyes showed nothing but love. Maybe you should tell her, just her. No Yaz, no Graham and no Ryan. Just you, The Doctor and the TARDIS. You looked away for a moment as you collected your thoughts. However, as you opened your mouth and tried to speak, you found no voice. You couldn't tell her about them. Lord knows what she's capable of. But you've been looking for an out for so damn long. Maybe this is it. She's your out, no death involved.

You walked towards a panel in the console and pushed your hands inside and focused. You focused on the worst time it happened. You concentrated on the fear and everything attached. You couldn't tell her, but you could show her. The TARDIS disappeared into the vortex but didn't seem so sure on landing. She was picking it all up, she felt everything you did and she did not like going. "Please baby girl, I need her to know. I need help but I can't tell her. She's my only out that doesn't involve death and that terrifies me! Please. I understand your hesitation but she needs to see." You spoke mentally to the sentient blue box. She made a sad sound as she gently landed in the moment.

The Doctor looked at you bewildered. Her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. You walked up to her and grabbed her hand reassuringly. You led her to the doors that separated her from your darkest secret. You took a deep breath and slowly opened the door.

You appeared to be in the basement of your house. You walked up the stairs and took her to a storage room where she could see it happen. You sat in silence for a few minutes only the sounds of breathing and your heartbeat could be heard.

You knew this day off by heart, it plagued your nightmares often. It all started to sweet and went sour so quickly. At this time you were currently on your way back from doing your weekly shop to Tescos making sure you didn't forget their vodka and gin on your way to pay. Thankfully, the shop was only 10 minuets away and you doubted that the TARDIS would make you wait longer than nessacary. Just as the Doctor opened her mouth to speak the door opened and in walked an 18 year old you.

You set the bags down and started sorting the items into their new places. The canned foods go in the cupboard and the meat goes into the fridge. There were loads of food and stuff to go through and place properly. After you placed the last can of baked beans into the cupboard, the door swung open, nearly breaking the door.

They came home from their dealers place early. They stunk of weed and alcohol and had a little white powder around their nose. They looked like they had a good time until they had to come home. It was their dealers birthday so he was having a brothel themed party meaning there were strippers, pole dancers and prostitutes as well. The dealer was a rich guy who practically ran this city. The cops couldn't do anything as he could always bail himself out of jail.

They looked you in your comfy clothes and scoffed. They looked angry. "Why aren't you in your normal clothes babes? I thought I told you to throw away all of that shit. Come on now. Don't tell me I wasted all my well earned money on those clothes I specifically chose for you?"

You shuddered, both in the past and now except now they only made bile rise into your throat. You were so young and vulnerable. Now you know better.

The past you quickly scampered off to get changed. After only 5 minutes you reappeared in what was sexy school girl. The blue miniskirt covered less than most underwear so you were forced to wear a thong. The shirt was a bralet that barely covered your nipples. Your hair was in pigtails and you wore thigh highs. The sight made you silently sick in your mouth. You looked pathetic and weak.

You looked at them expectingly. You were waiting for your next order from them. They seemed to drool at the sight of you. "That's better babes. Why didn't you go shopping like that? Show the world your fat ugly figure? I want you to walk out there and see that no one else wants you but here I am, loving you. I am the only one who will ever like you in the way we have now. Your lucky I've had some fun tonight. All I want is my vodka and a new blunt darling"

You quickly went and grabbed their stuff and walked towards them as they settled in front of the TV. They turned the TV on and put Love Island on. How you hated that show. It made you feel bad for being the size you are. The women on there were beautiful but you also knew that, that kind of beauty costs money. So while your partner had fun watching the show for the romance, you watched it to spot what part of them was bought and what was real. Almost all the women had fake teeth and breasts. You hated how your partner would make snide comments on how they looked compared to you.

"You should be looking like Becky ya know. Beautiful teeth, big perky tits and a fucking great ass. What do you have? Flabs!" And there was the first comment of the day. The first of 30, you counted.

"Yeah well you are fucking broke so I can't look like fucking fake ass Becky or the others!" You thought. Then the Doctor gave you a look of shock and pity and then you realised you said that aloud. Not loud enough for them to hear you but enough for the Doctor.

"Make yourself fucking useful and make me some dinner. I fancy a steak and chips." They ordered as you got up and waddled over to the kitchen. A few minutes in you realised you put too much oil in the pan for the steak but the steak was already in and cooking quick. So quick that it started to smoke just a little bit. You tried blowing it away from them before they realised that you fucked up their dinner but ut was too late. They were already on their feet a marching towards you.

"I'm so sorry. I accidentally poured too much oil in. I'm so sorry. I have a spare steak, you can have my meal for tonight, I could do with skipping a meal anyways, helps me lose weight!" Past you was panicked and present you wasn't much better. Even though you were safe from them, they still made you uneasy. If you were to ever see them again, you'd freeze. They made your blood run cold. Even their voice sent unpleasant shivers down your spine.

"You better make me another steak but I still have to punish you. You fucked up, a lesson needs to be learnt." They said scarily politely. They grabbed your left arm and marched you towards the sink. They also grabbed the burning pan and pinned you so you had no escape as they poured the boiling oil onto your skin. You knew not to scream do you bit into your other arm knowing a bite out of it is better than causing more punishments for screaming.

When they were done left to watch the TV and you knew what that meant. You had to cook the spare steak and make there meal before you can get proper treatment at the hospital. Through your tears of agony, you quickly ran your burnt and bleeding arm under the cold water of the sink. You bit deeper into your other arm and tasting blood, but thay didn't stop you until the left one had cooled down. Then you got an old shirt, ripped 2 pieces of fabric off and wrapped them around both arm Injuries. You then continued their meal.

Once they had the meal they kicked you and punched you in the stomach because the chips were slightly cold and then they drove you to the hospital as they promised. When you had left you didn't realise you had been crying until a drop fell on your arm. You walked out of the storage room and sat on the sofa, turning the TV off.

The Doctor looked shocked for a moment before walking over and kneeling in front of you. The Doctor went silent for a moment. Before she could speak, you decided to speak first.

"I couldn't tell you because I couldn't think if a nice way of telling you. I didn't want to appear weak to you." You cried as your voice cracked in the middle due to the tears and the strain. The Doctor looked at you in pity and disappointment.

"This does not make you weak. Being abused does not make you weak. Because being abused is like being tortured by someone who supposed to love you and cherish you. They are meant to protect you from danger not be the danger. I would never hurt you. I know that I put you in risky situations but believe me, I would never intentionally put you in danger. You mean too much to me" The Doctor softly spoke with tears making a little river down her soft cheeks and onto your black carpet below.

"Before I met them, I was like you or Yaz. I was so happy at everything. Very little could bring me down. But I met them and started dating them and suddenly, my world of sunshine faded to grey. There was no light. I wanted to die Doctor. When you found me at that spider hotel, I wanted to be free from them as I couldn't do it. I can't because they'd kill me. I don't want to be alive whilst I'm with them. I have so many scars from either them or me trying to end my own life and that the scariest thing. Death wants us to be terrified but wanting to die is so much more terrifying Doctor, I know that." You cried as you emptied all you could to her. The Doctor was silent for a moment, taking in everything you said. Waves of emotion flashed through her, anger, sadness, pity and something you couldn't quite place.

"You said wanted. That's past tense. You said wanted to die. What changed? What made you want to live?"

"You did. You saved me from the spiders. You gave me a temporary out of the relationship for a while. You made me smile for the first time in 3 years! You made me laugh. The world of grey is now full of sunshine and rainbows Doctor. You also saved me today. When I jumped across that canyon, I jumped to end my life. I made a mistake that nearly ended a planet! If I wasn't so fat and clumsy maybe i-"

"Don't you dare say that! You are not fat (n/n). Yes you have more plush to your body but you are not fat. I hate that word. Its such a nasty word. You are gorgeous, amazing and so brilliant. You can't see what I see and I really wished you could for just one moment. You are worthy of being loved and cared for. You are precious, rare, one of a kind. I've never met anyone like you. There's always some skinny, fake bodied and caked up women but there's no one with as much natural beauty as you! Let's get back to the TARDIS and we'll talk more when looking at the stars because I can see that being here isn't doing you any favours" The Doctor spoke with such passion that you started to believe that her words held more than those of a supporting friend would.

Once the TARDIS was parked in the Milky Way you settled by the door once again and found yourself accompanied by the sweet alien. You both sat there for a moment just content with wrapping your heads around what's just happened. You looked over to the blonde and noticed how the stars made her glow in such an ethereal way that you felt almost compelled to worship her. Maybe you should after everything she's done for you. Her eyes sparkled with si many emotions from the past senario.

"Are you still with them?"

"Why do you think I never left this place? I mean even if could, I wouldn't want to but it's mainly because if I go back home, I'll come back with more injuries. I feel safer with you. You are my sunshine and rainbows and they are my storm clouds. Whilst I'm here, I'm alive and mostly unbroken. Whilst I'm there, I'm as alive as a puppet and severely broken. I can't leave, not on my own anyway."

The Doctor looked at you in thought. "The starlight compliments you. You look so pretty and almost angelic. I just wish they never hurt my angel. My innocent angel had broken wings and I'm going to fix what the Devil broke, I promise. Just hold on, I'm going to take us somewhere."

You held the nearest crystal as the TARDIS transported you somewhere but it seemed like the sentient machine was determined to take you there as quick as she could. As you opened the doors you noticed a familiar smell of weed mixed with alcohol. You heard the familiar tune of Love Island and knew exactly where you were. You were home. The Doctor saw your hesitation and whispered softly, "I want you to pack everything you want. I've written a note for them to find. I'm going to put it on the bed. If they notice you scream for me and I'll be there. They will not hurt you much, hopefully not at all. I just need to do something in the TARDIS before I help you." She turned and left into the TARDIS and disappeared down a corridor.

The atmosphere sent chills down your spine and you were frozen. The TARDIS seemed to notice and words of encouragement were sent into your head which helped you move towards your bedroom. You quickly buy quietly opend your suitcase and started to fill it with clothing and hygiene products. As you entered the bathroom a bottle of their shampoo fell into the tub giving you away. You knew you only had so long before they came in and hurt you so you closed the door and barricaded it with whatever you could.

As you pushed the last cabinet to the pile they roared through the wooden door. "Let me in you fat dumb bitch. You've been gone for 3 weeks and you've got some balls coming back! You're lucky I haven't burned all your shit! Where have you been?"

Your heart ran at an extremely fast pace nd you knew only one person could help you now. And so you screamed her name so loud it hurt your throat bit that didn't stop you. You screamed until you heard talking. You couldn't understand what was said but suddenly a thud was heard and then silence.

"Hey Starlight! It's only me. I've taken care of them. They're not dead but in a venishion aikido. They can't move, they're paralysed. You can come out and finish packing"

You moved everything out of the door and opened it to a view you expected. The Doctor with 2 fingers to their pulse point on their neck. The Doctor smiled at when they saw you. You finished packing and zipped the bag up. Then Yaz walked in with her police uniform on and arrested them for domestic violence and many other things. Now you understood why The Doctor left, it was to get Yaz as a back up option to completely take them out of your life.

The Doctor helped open doors for you as you got your room and you set the suitcase to one side to empty another day. You both sat down on your bed. The sound was filled with nothing but 2 lifeforms breathing and the TARDIS faint buzzing. You two stayed like this, staring into each other, trying to read the others emotions. But we all know what The Doctor is like, she can't stay silent for long.

"I had to save you because as long as you were with them, you weren't ever going to be truly happy. I didn't want my big bright star to turn into a black hole, I wanted her to be a supernova. My Starlight deserves to be happy."

"You keep saying my Doctor. And you asked if I was still with them and then when I basically said yes, you quickly, as in a rush, sent us home so I could leave them. You keep saying all these things about me. You held my hand from the canyon to the drill. You are always the first to check on me and you always make sure I'm OK first even if I'm the farthest person from you! Doctor, be honest, I don't want any more bullshit. Doctor why?" You spoke softly but with determination. The Doctor blushed and shifted her gaze to the stars and quietly gulped. She knew this day would come. The day her secret was revealed. And she dreaded her answer and she dreaded your reaction. And whilst she figured out what to say, you already knew the answer.

You gently grabbed her chin and made her look at you. Once her gaze caught yours, you smiled and placed your lips to her soft ones. Quickly she caught up and kissed you back with all the love and passion she could muster. She wanted to relay that she did love you and that she would do exactly as she said earlier, she would cherish you.

As for you, you smiled. You finally had an out that didn't end in death but instead ended with the same love that you yearned for, for years.

[sisterofsomeone]

Hi! I saw that you had your requests open and I wanted to make one! I was wondering if you'd be up for making a part 2 of the matcha blossom x gnreader angst!

Where it still ends up being angst in the end, or fluff, whichever you prefer! But I'd love for it to be that Joe finally realized that the reader loved him for all those years and felt guilty and all that.

If you could, if the ending you choose to be fluff could you possibly make it a poly relationship between the three! If angst then you could choose!

I'm sorry if this is a bad req. Or sum, it's my first time! And you dont have to of course! But I'd love for a part 2

Hey, thank you so much for the request! It’s a fantastic one, no need to apologise, you’re always welcome to request stuff! I’ve been thinking of doing a part 2 for Alone, like always for a while now so this was perfect timing! I think the poly idea is so cute, but like the evil bitch I am there will be a little angst beforehand hehe... I hope you enjoy it anon! :) 

Requests are open!

Part 1 here!

Alone, no more.

- Poly!Matchablossom with gender-neutral!reader

- Warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy

- Summary: After years of one-sided love you decide to give up on Joe, leaving him and Kaoru alone. 

--------------

Hours had passed, by now the boys might be worried about you, but you doubted it. You played with the stone in your hand, one of the hundreds you'd been trying to skim across the surface of the lake. They all kept falling to the bottom. The air was colder now, the night closing in quickly as the dusting of stars scattered themselves across the sky. It would be a perfect night if he were there with you, but he never was, and you’d come to terms with that. 

You wandered aimlessly through the streets, hands tucked deep into your pockets and your hoodie covering your head so no one could see the tears staining your face. You tried to make it home, but your body seemed on autopilot as you approached the gates to S. You cursed yourself, knowing Joe and Kaoru would both be there tonight. You turned to leave, but your body collided with someone much bigger than you. 

“Y/n? Where have you been all day?” You fidgeted in front of him, feeling his gaze burning into you. 

“Just got caught up with some old friends.” You managed out, voice wobbling. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked, his voice soft. You didn’t notice the movement until your eyes were locked on his. Joe had placed his hand beneath your chin and moved your face so he could see you more clearly. That meant your puffy eyes, the tears threatening to spill and the stains from tears already shed were all now in perfect view for the man. You pushed him away, Joe losing balance and falling into Kaoru’s waiting arms. You heard his shouts as you ran, but you couldn’t stop your legs as they pushed you further away. 

Two months had passed since that night, and the missed calls were adding up. It wasn’t just Joe now, Kaoru, Mia, Reki, Langa and Shadow were all trying to contact you. You’d blocked Joe’s number at least, and sent the others a short message just saying that you wanted to stay alone, like always. It was petty sure, but a part of you wanted them to understand your pain, even if you couldn’t bring yourself to tell them the whole truth. 

Joe had tried to speak to you in person, coming to your work and asking the manager for a moment of your time. But your manager had sensed the way you tensed up after spotting him walking into the store and turned him away. He looked hurt, his chest falling and him giving a silent nod in response. You hated seeing him like that, but you couldn’t be near him now. 

The night was cold as you made your way out of the house and towards the skate park. You and Joe used to go there together for years before Kaoru convinced him that it wasn’t cool enough. You hated those memories, the pain attached to them still raw as you pictured Kaoru’s smile as he dragged Joe away from you. It was childish sure, but you hated how Joe just went along with whatever the pink-haired boy said. You settled yourself on the top of the bowl, legs swinging underneath you as the breeze danced across your face. The loneliness wasn’t any less painful now, but more familiar. You stood, dropping into the bowl and skating for a while. This feeling was nice, the natural movement of you and the board, almost as if it was just an extension of your own body. You got cocky, doing some tricks here and there and eventually grew tired of playing around. You climbed out, making your way towards the halfpipe that stood tall above the rest of the skate park. It was quiet and peaceful, the perfect opportunity to just let your feelings out. You cried there, sitting upon the halfpipe like some child but you didn’t care. Your body shook with the ragged sobs ripped from your chest and as much as you wiped your eyes, you could still feel the cold tears rolling down your face. 

You had experienced heartbreak before, but nothing like this. You had years of pining over Joe and getting your heart broken hundreds of times along the way, but none of them felt like this. The piercing finality of it all. This wasn’t something you could ever come back from, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, a part of you, deep deep down, knew there was nothing you could do to get him to notice you like you noticed him. That was it. Joe was out of your reach and you needed to get over a man you loved, but who never loved you in return. That is the hardest heartbreak to heal, the mourning of a relationship that never even existed. The death of what-ifs and maybes. 

You heard his voice quietly at first, a whispered, tentative call of your name danced in the wind and you could have sworn he was there beside you. But your mind must have been playing tricks on you. 

“Y/n?” It was louder this time.

“Is that you?” You were shaking even harder now, you hadn’t realised your imagination could be so spiteful.

“Please, don’t cry.” 

“Oh fuck off brain! I’m already hurting enough! Just... just stop...” You screamed into the wind, your tears falling freely now. 

“Y/n? What happened?” You opened your eyes, heart racing as you followed the voice. There stood Joe, all alone and looking so desperately scared. It wasn’t in your mind. He had come to you.

“A-are you...?” Your voice drifted off, the trembling betraying you as you scrambled the wipe the tears from your eyes. 

“Am I what Y/n?” Joe said, moving towards you. You flinched backwards in response, so scared that if he touched you the illusion would disappear and you'd be left with an even bigger hole in your heart.

“Real?” It came out as a whisper, nearly too quiet to hear, but Joe got it. 

“I’m real. I promise.” He said stretching out a hand for you to hold. You pushed him away, but the pain in his eyes made you want to take the action back instantly. 

“What happened? Please tell me. I know you’ve blocked me, told your manager not to let me in. Even your mother hung up on me, and she’s never done that before.” Joe sat beside you now, and on instinct, you pushed your body away from him. He didn’t make a move to follow you, allowing the gap between the two of you to grow. 

“Nothing happened.” He sighed at this, running a hand through his hair. 

“I promise you nothing-”

“Cut the bullshit Y/n. The last time I saw you, you were covered in tears, and now you’re avoiding me and crying alone at midnight in a skate park. Something happened.” His eyes met yours, the tears in his own threatening to spill.

“I can’t lose you. You’re my best friend.” There it was, all hope gone in a second. You felt your heart shatter again, your tears spilling over and the air sucked out of your lungs. 

“I don’t want to be your friend.” You said it before you even thought, the words tumbling out now. 

“I don’t want to be your fucking friend! All these years I’ve been so desperately in love with you, watching you break and cry over Kaoru and Adam, but the second he snaps his fingers you’re all puppy eyes and I can’t take it!” He was silent, staring at you in pure bewilderment. 

“I’ve been here for so long, so utterly in love with you but you didn’t even notice. Too wrapped up in your own mess that you left me high and dry. Don’t want to lose your best friend? You lost me years ago when you chose to chase him rather than stand by my side. I could have done it you know, been quietly in love with you and been happy, but you just left me alone all the time. Every chance you got, it was him over me and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t care how selfish I sound, I don’t care if you hate me now. But seeing the two of you together? It hurts more than anything else.”  You were quiet now, but the silence between the two of you was deafening. 

“You...” Joe began, the trembling in his own voice growing louder as he suppressed his tears. 

“You love me?” You knew he couldn’t see you, but all you could muster was a pitiful nod. 

“All this time? Really?” You nodded again and he turned his gaze to you. Heat rushed to your cheeks, the flush paired with your thumping heart. 

“I’m so sorry. I’ve got to go.” He pushed himself up, and with one last look, he left you alone. Why should I expect anything different at this point? You let out a shaky sigh, the tears beginning again. 

You spent the next few days wrapped up in your bedsheets, calling in sick to work. Your mother visited your house, seeing you miserable and tried her best to cheer you up, but nothing worked. She could tell something was up with you and Joe, worried that the torch you’d carried for him throughout the years had burnt you out. She tried, she really did, but you were so broken. 

Eventually, you pulled yourself away from the pile of quilts and blankets, making your way towards the bathroom to shower. You noticed the photos of you, Joe and Kaoru as kids that used to hang upon your wall were taken down, probably your mother’s doing. You didn't really mind. Your reflection caught you off guard, the dark circles and sickly looking frame sticking out from the clothes you'd been sleeping in. The shower was warm enough for you to get lost in thought, your mind racing back to the argument. No, it wasn’t really an argument, more you just screaming at him, letting out all of your pain. You winced, embarrassment bubbling in your stomach and chest. But you pushed it down, you couldn’t allow yourself to wallow on this anymore. You needed to move on. 

Work was hard, seeing the happy couples coming into the bakery to order wedding cakes or baby shower treats. It was sickening. Your manager seemed to notice you weren’t yourself and allowed you to just focus on baking, instead of piping sickeningly sweet love notes onto cakes or moulding tiny prams out of fondant. It was a nice rest bite, all you had to do was follow a recipe and mix some batter.��

Life became easier after a while, and the love you had for baking came back. You felt comfortable decorating again, your manager thankful you’d come out of whatever it was okay. You agreed, feeling okay for the first time in a long time. Life was getting its shine back, the colour returning. But then it all came to a halt again. 

It was raining heavily as you rushed home from work, the store closing later than usual so you could finish a delivery for tomorrow. But as you approached your house there were two familiar figures blocking your doorway. You didn't want to see them, not again. Not now you were finally starting to feel better. It was Kaoru who spoke first. 

“Could we please come in?” 

“S-sure.” You stammered, your hand shaking as you tried to unlock the door. Finally, you pushed the door open and stood aside to welcome the men in. They stepped out of their shoes and padded towards your living room. You squeaked something out about towels and rushed off, locking yourself in your bathroom. Your breathing was getting erratic, your body shaking. Why were they here?

You calmed yourself after a while, gathering some towels and joining them in your living room. It was surreal, watching the two men dry themselves off as you wrapped the plush blue fabric around yourself. You sat across from the both of them, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights before a crash. 

“I want to go first if that’s okay.” Joe said breaking the silence. You nodded in response and Kaoru quipped something about him, but you took no notice. 

“I’m sorry. To be honest, I wasn’t sure at first if I understood where you were coming from. You sounded so jealous and I instinctively got defensive, that’s why I left. But now I see that I played out exactly what you were miserable about, I chose my feelings for Kaoru over listening to your pain and I’m so sorry.” He cleared his throat and Kaoru placed a hand on his shoulder for support. 

“I’m sorry as well Y/n. I knew about your feelings for Joe years ago, but I childishly tried to break that bond between the two of you out of spite.” Kaoru said, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I feel like such a fool, and after what happened with Adam I got some perspective. I realised how much I must have hurt you, but I selfishly didn’t apologise, thinking just trying to be your friend was good enough. But I realise now it wasn’t” 

“It’s okay. I mean, I understand. You don’t know how many times I tried to do the same thing to you and Joe.” You played with the fabric in your fingers. “I hated seeing him cry over you, but it was even worse seeing you two falling in love.” The air was heavy now, the tension thick.

“Y/n. We’ve spent the past few weeks trying to figure out what to do because you mean a lot to the both of us.” You met Kaoru’s eyes as a blush rose on his cheeks. “I came to terms with my feelings on the matter.” He said, breaking away from your gaze. 

“Y/n I care about you, more than a friend, honestly? I think I love you too.” Joe said smiling softly at you. 

“Y/n, I was always jealous of not only you but Joe too. I wanted your attention as much as I wanted his.” Kaoru joined in. “I didn’t understand it myself at first, but after talking it through with Joe, I realised that I care about you both deeply.” He stammered out, the blush burning brighter now. 

“I-I don’t...” You said, mouth agape. 

“We’re not totally sure about any of this either. But we realised that just us being together wasn’t gonna make all of us happy, and we were done leaving you all alone.” Joe said, moving around the table between you all and coming to sit beside you. He took your hands in his, as delicately as you had imagined that day. 

“Y/n, we want to be with you too. We won’t be happy if you’re not with us, and I can’t stand seeing you hurting because of us anymore.” He said kissing the knuckles on your hand. 

“What are you saying?” You stammered out, blushing almost as furiously as Kaoru across from you. 

“We want you to be a part of this.” Kaoru motioned between the two men in front of you and your blush burned even brighter, feeling it spread down to your chest. 

“We don’t want to ever leave you alone again.” 

You spent that night figuring out your feelings for the two men, laughter slowly creeping its way back into your life. With them, it felt easy, and the soft kisses shared between the three of you had your head reeling. It was nice like this, no more jealousy ripping the three of you apart, just love. Or at least, it felt like love between the three of you, you were happy just being here with them, three bodies curled up together in your bed, legs intertwined and breathing calm. This was how you all spent your nights now, skating with friends and sharing soft kisses and not-so-subtle glances, then returning home together, content. You were alone no more. 

[fangirl-ramblings]

Pairing: Arthur x gn!reader

Characters: Reader, Simon Pearson, Mary Linton, Arthur Morgan

Word count: 3306

Summary: You and Arthur have recently made your relationship official by moving into his tent...but is he really into you...or is he still holding onto his past?

Notes: SFW, Angst leading to fluff

After requesting several wonderful stories from one of my favourite writers and people, I was super honoured to have the chance to be able to write something for the super talented and lovely @littlestarofthewest -  Merry Christmas from your secret santa 😘😘

Also a huge thank you to @horsegirl1h (who helped me plot this out) @verai-marcel (for wrangling in all my stupid grammatical mistakes) & @mileycyprus-hill who took a quick look over this and gave me a much better character note on how to improve Arthur's feelings in this story and give me a far better title I could ever think of myself. Thank you all 😘

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on AO3 *~

The First Shall Be Forgotten

You slowly opened your eyes, only to find the cot next to you still empty. It was fairly late when you'd finally taken yourself off to bed last night, but you had found yourself unable to keep your eyes open as you'd sat around the scout fire. Your hope of Arthur riding back into camp and joining you in lying down for the night had turned into a wishful dream of waking up with his strong arms wrapped around you, but it turns out it was just that - merely a pleasant dream. 

It was only a few months since you'd started dating, with most of that time spent being inseparable, but lately you noticed that Arthur was staying away from camp longer and longer. Yes - the events of Blackwater had changed the gang's luck and the likes of Dutch and Strauss kept giving Arthur more and more tasks to do, but you'd felt like that most of these jobs could be done well before nightfall. Surely Arthur wasn't avoiding you because he was bored of you already….could he?

You sat upright, shaking your head free of any more of those nasty thoughts, quickly making the decision that you should get dressed and help out around camp before Miss Grimshaw marched over to berate you for wasting so much time idling about.

There was a chill floating in the air this morning in camp and so you found yourself shivering as you looked around for your light jacket. Opening your shared trunk, you proceeded to pile a mixture of both yours and Arthur's clothes on to the cot in your quest to find your missing coat. Though you soon found yourself distracted as you lifted one of Arthur's shirts up, tutting to yourself as you saw just how worn and dirt stained they all were. You swore that that man would wear these offending items until they fell apart on him...and some were close to doing so, judging by how often they'd been patched up.

   "Ah, there you are," Pearson's cheerful voice booming from behind you, making you jump out of your skin, "I need a helping hand gathering supplies in town and was wondering if you could come along with me for the ride"

   "Me? Surely there's someone more capable about?" Although Valentine was only a short ride away, the idea of being Mr. Pearson's captive audience for that short length of time was not high on your list of priorities for the day. 

   "Well, I don't know if you noticed but we are stretched a little thin on the ground right now," his hands gesturing to the almost empty camp area in front of you, "Mr. Smith & Mr. Escuella are yet to return from Blackwater with young Sean and, as you well know, Mr. Morgan is still yet to return from wherever he has took himself off to. As for the girls..." you tried to stifle a chuckle as he trailed off to glance nervously over at where Tilly, Mary-Beth and Karen were currently sitting at their wagon, making sure they couldn't hear this conversation, "...I'd rather not ask them. Uncle told me of the trouble they got up to on their last visit into Valentine."

You couldn't help but burst out laughing at Pearson's fear of trying to keep three excited young women from creating chaos. "Sorry, sorry," you apologised, wiping your eyes as he looked at you with confusion, "Well...since you have no other options, I'll join you. I've been wanting to pick Arthur up a new shirt anyways." Spotting your jacket at the bottom of the truck, you quickly threw it on, leaving all the other clothes heaped on the bed, "Shall we go now then?"

"Goddamit, why does there have to be a train in the station?" you grumbled as Pearson pulled the horses to a stop at the crossing, which was blocked by one of the carriages belonging to the offending train. After being waylaid by the shop boy slowly loading the wagon with all the goods Pearson had chosen for camp - not that any of these ingredients would do much to improve his cooking, you cruelly thought to yourself - your head was starting to ache from listening to Pearson's constant tall tales. All you had wanted to do was get back to camp and sleep off your headache, but that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon, thanks to this stupid train.

   "I know what you mean, I was hoping to get back and make a start on preparing supper," Pearson sighed before suddenly cheering up, "But, hey, at least it gives me more time to tell you about my time at sea. There was this other time..."

Internally, you found yourself groaning, trying to zone out the older man as he recounted yet another story, that this time seemed to involve him somehow, inexplicably fighting a walrus -  single-handedly -  to save his crew.

You glanced around, finding yourself admiring all the different horses hitched up around the station...until a familiar sight caught your eye.

   "Hey isn't that Brutus?" you interrupted Pearson mid-sentence, gesturing towards the big, black Shire horse that Hosea had gifted Arthur a few weeks ago. Arthur had rarely named his horses after losing his beloved Boudicca in Blackwater and was more than content to just refer to this one as "Boy", but after overhearing Hosea called this giant a brute, you'd jokingly suggested the name Brutus, a name that had tickled Arthur and agreed it was the perfect name for this beast.

Put out a little by the fact you had rudely interrupted him just as the story was getting good, Pearson grudgingly glanced over to the direction in which you were pointing.

   "Er, it does look like it. So anyway after I killed the Walrus with nothing but my bare hands…" 

   'So this is where you've gotten to Morgan,' you thought to yourself, once again not listening to Pearson's story. 'Here's hoping you're on your way home too.'

Smiling to yourself that your lover would hopefully be by your side once more, you absent-mindedly found yourself scanning the crowd of people that was starting to thin out as they slowly stepped onto the carriages...until you saw him standing with his back to you.

A smile started to creep over your face as you recognised Arthur's dirty blond hair, broad frame and filthy blue shirt. Just the fact you could see how dirty it was from this distance made you glad that you'd made the decision to buy him a new one now, as that one needed throwing out, never mind a good wash. Anybody would think that man spent most of his time rolling around in the mud than riding a horse around.

With his hands on his gun belt, he shifted his weight to one side and the smile on your face was replaced with a look of confusion as a young lady was revealed to be standing next to him, deep in an intimate conversation.

Unconsciously scowling at her, you were unable to shake the feeling that you've seen her somewhere before, but for the life of you, you couldn't quite place where.

You squinted your eyes to try and focus your vision on her delicate features before a feeling of rage bubbled up from your stomach as she kissed Arthur's cheek, in a way that suggested more than just friendship.

"And I'll tell you - I used that walrus meat to feed a crew of 50...and not one of them complained the way you and the rest of camp do about my cooking" Pearson waffled on down your ear, distracting you from your thoughts about this mysterious woman and how you wanted to jump down and throttle her. Instead you suddenly had the urge to wrap your hands around the cook's neck. 

Turning to face him, you barked, "Maybe being at sea for weeks at end with no food makes people more appreciative of the slop you always manage to serve up - no matter the ingredients." 

You instantly felt regret as the words left your mouth and you saw the hurt in the older man's eyes.

   "Christ, I'm sorry Mr. Pearson. I didn’t mean to take it out on you..." You paused, thinking about telling him about what you just saw, but you doubted this old sea dog would give a damn about your love life and so explained "I just have a real bad headache and it's put me in a bad mood."

He nodded softly and turned away so you wouldn't see him wipe the sting of the tears from his eyes.

Feeling guilty from the hurt you just caused, you looked away to the source of your own pain, only to find Arthur had disappeared from the platform and the train was now pulling out the station. Had he gotten on board with his mystery woman? Gone off to start a new life with her and left you and the outlaw life behind him? These thoughts rattled around your head as Pearson told the horses to giddy up and the pair of you headed back to camp in an awkward silence.

Jumping down from the wagon, you helped Pearson unload the wagon - still with an uneasy tension in the air, before you tried to broker the peace between you both by offering to help prepare the next meal as a peace offering.

   "No, it's quite okay," Pearson patted you shoulder to show there was no hard feelings, "You go sleep off that sore head of yours"

You nodded appreciatively, finding yourself thanking him and apologising once more as you picked up the wrapped parcel containing Arthur's new shirt, and headed back to your tent. 

As you walked over, you rolled your eyes in annoyance at yourself as you caught sight of the mess you'd left behind this morning. Picking the mountain of clothes up, you threw them in straight at the trunk at the end of the cot, surprising yourself as you heard a loud clatter of something hitting the side of the chest and then dropping onto the floor.

Peering over, you saw that a few shirts and a pair of trousers had missed their target and were now scattered over the floor... alongside a wooden photoframe, laying face down on the ground, that definitely wasn't there before.

Picking it up, you recognised the image of a younger, but still very handsome version of Arthur standing on the left.

'You've always been a good-looking bastard haven't you?' half smiling as you took in his handsome features, 'No wonder you have a long list of admirers to spend all your time instead of me.'

Well before you and Arthur had started dating, you had seen this photograph before. You recalled picking it up from his bedside table back then too, in order to get a closer look of how attractive Arthur's always been.

But sometime between then and making your relationship official, Arthur must have removed it and hidden it out of sight from you. Just as you were about to ask yourself why, you spotted who else was in the picture.

   'No…no it can't be,' you thought to yourself as you stared at the beautiful, dark haired woman standing next to him in the image. But, as much as you didn’t want it to be, it certainly was. Looking straight back at you was a younger version of the same woman from the train station…the same woman who had ripped Arthur's heart out and tore it into a million pieces all those years ago when she called off their engagement - Mary.

Time seemed to slow down as your mind went into overdrive. Did he simply remove the picture as a thoughtful gesture so you wouldn't wake up to a younger Arthur and his ex-fiancee looking at you…or did he hide it because he still loved her and her alone? Were you just a stopgap - something to fill the emptiness in his heart until she came back to him? Is that the real reason Arthur had hidden the picture and not gotten rid of it completely? So once he had managed to win her back, he could toss you aside and place it once more on his bedside to stare lovingly at while he held her in his arms?

You hadn’t realise you were crying or just how hard you were gripping the frame until you heard the sudden sound of glass cracking and a mix of your blood and tears began to streak all over her stupid, perfect face. Standing frozen to the spot, you stared and stared at her image, slowly disappearing under the physical manifestations of your hurt and betrayal, until you heard Arthur bellow out your name as he rode back into camp.

   "Hey you. Boy, did I sure miss you while I was gone," he cheerfully greeted you as he strode towards you, "I tell you, there's some strange sights out there that I've been dyin' to tell you all 'bout."

   "Tell me?" you snarled, acting the wounded animal you currently felt like, "Don't you have other people you'd rather spend your time with?"

   "What? What's got into you?" 

Your heart panged as you saw the hurt cross his face as he saw how upset you were. 

"Listen, if this 'bout me spendin' so much time from camp recently, then I am sorry - but I did miss you somethin' fierce y'know" he assured you, placing his arms around your waist.

   "Just like you've missed Mary for all these years?" Just saying her name out loud felt like you had tasted venom on your lips and needed to quickly spit it out.

"Mary? Where's all this comin' from?" He flustered, averting his eyes downwards as not to meet your steely gaze. Upon seeing you holding the photograph, he exclaimed, "Christ alive, you're bleedin'. Here lemme fix you up."

"I'm fine," you snapped at him, pulling your hand away from his gentle touch. Any other time, this small act of affection - the big mean outlaw gently cradling your hand in his - would have made you melt on the spot, but today your inner rage wasn't having any of it. Instead you blurted out, "I saw you. At the train station…with her."

Realising he had been caught out and couldn't bluff his way out of this sorry mess, he sat down on the cot and tried to explain.

   "Okay, yeah, I was at the train station with her, but it really ain't what you think…"

   "I saw her kiss you."

  "You mean when she kissed my cheek? That was her sayin' goodbye. Her and her brother are headin' back East to find their father."

You sat next to him, the photograph still in your hands.

   "Still doesn't explain why you were with her in the first place."

   "No it doesn't, does it." He sighed, running his hand down his face. "I was on my way back to camp, ridin' through Valentine when I thought I'd check and see if there was any post. Lo' and behold there was just the one - a letter from Mary askin' if I could help with a small problem of hers."

   "So you must have been in contact with her if she knew you were in town."

He shook his head. "No. No, she'd recognised the girls after their last trip into town and wrote to me on the off-chance I was also in the area."

   "Why?"

"Her kid brother, Jamie, he'd gone and got himself mixed up in this weird cult up in Cumberland Forest. Christ, you shoulda seen them all listenin' on as this lunatic spouted some nonsense about turtles or somethin'," laughing, he patted his leg until he saw your stony expression still waiting for the answer to your question.

   "Get to the point please, Arthur."

   "You're right, sorry," he said as he nodded, "Jamie was the only one in her family who stood up for me and I owed it to *him*, not Mary, him -  to help get him away from those crazy fools."

You fidgeted slightly next to him. You wanted to believe him, but he seemed to be avoiding the main topic of conversation.

   "So say I believe you about your reasonings for helping her…why did you keep a picture of her?"

Silence filled the air for a second before he simply answered. "I shoved it in there so you wouldn't have to keep lookin' at it when we lay together...and I guess I forgot all 'bout it."

You looked away as more tears fell down your cheeks. Gently placing his hand under your chin, Arthur turned your face to face his, looking deep into your eyes he told you, 

   "You’re overthinking – I’m yours. That’s all I want to be.”

   "Prove it." You pleaded.

   "Okay then...this should show you she's nothin' to me now." He took the broken frame from your grasp and carefully removed the picture from the frame, lingering for a moment before crumpling it up in his hand and walking towards the campfire.

Though his stride was purposeful, you couldn't help but feel he faltered once more as he looked at the flames, but those fears disappeared as he turned to look back at you with a warmth in his eyes and a smile stretching wide across his face. Looking straight at you, his hand opened and the picture fell into the flames, where it lay for a few moments as it slowly rendered into nothing but a pile of ashes.

Making his way back over to you, he picked you up and spun you around his arms.

   "I'm all yours...are you mine?"

Bonus scene: Arthur's POV

He slowly removed the picture from the frame, partly being careful not to cut himself on broken shards of glass and partly because he wanted to make sure he was making the right decision. He was convinced that after Mary called it all off between them, he'd never smile, let alone love again. But then you'd walked into his life and brought light back into the darkness he'd found himself in.

But maybe there was a reason he'd held on to this photograph for all this time - a reminder of the good times that existed between them. Heartbreak has a funny way of erasing those memories, but seeing the woman you once considered the love of your life in person has an equally funny way of making those feelings rush back.

But no, the heartache he'd felt for all these years outweighed the fleeting moments of happiness he'd felt with Mary. And that kiss on the cheek to say goodbye that she'd given him at the train station? It certainly didn't give him butterflies like it used too. Looking at her image one last time, he crumpled it up and walked over to the campfire.

Though he had confidently strode over to flames, he once more had doubts he was right to finally let Mary go. Turning to face you, everything suddenly became very clear in Arthur's mind. Everything he ever wanted: someone who loved the group of people he considered family, as well as loving him for the man he was - despite his faults, someone who was willing to stick with him through thick and thin, make him laugh when he was down, and never fail to make him smile, that special someone he wanted to grow old with with...he already had that with you.

Without thinking, he opened his hand and let the battered photograph waft downwards, enveloped by the flames and turning to nothingness as he made his way back over to you, picking you up and spinning you around his arms.

   "I'm all yours...are you mine?"

[alderaani]

hullo pls could you maybe do from the prompt list 'Staying up half the night to finish a game with them.' with jesse? or echo, i love them both very much so whoever you'd rather write would be just fantastic (: 💕

thanks Emma!!!! anything for u 💕 i’m gonna go with jesse for this one, though i’m desperate to write for my boy echo in the near future. (i am very quickly learning i can’t keep these brief to save my life, oops)

pairing is jesse x reader:

“Heard you landed your ass in here again, idiot.”

It comes out harsher than you mean, but the rush of anger-joy-relief that floods through you when you see Jesse propped up in bed, awake and laughing with one of his brothers, is like a battering ram. You put out one hand to steady yourself against the doorframe and blink, startled by the way your eyes are stinging.

“If only he’d actually landed on his ass,” Hardcase laughs. He’s lounging on the end of the bed in the bottom half of his armour, legs crossed in front of him. “Di’kut went down on his head instead.”

“Thanks, ‘Case,” Jesse sighs, before looking at you sheepishly. “I was goin’ to comm you.”

You sniff in distain and push into the room proper. “What, in three to five business days? I had to find out from one of the mechanics, Jesse.”

Jesse scowls and you feel your eyes sting again at just how small he looks against the sheets. The white bandages on his chest and wrapped around his skull are stark against the rich brown of his skin. You don’t think you have really breathed in the last three days, not since contact with Torrent went down and it suddenly hit you that you might never get to speak to him again.

“How is this my fault? I was karking unconscious and you’re going to hold that against me?”

“Well,” Hardcase says, eyes darting between the pair of you. He shoves himself off the bed, clapping a hand on Jesse’s blanketed leg. “Sounds like my cue to check out. The boys are settin’ up a round of sabacc in the barracks, don’t wanna hold ‘em up.”

You wave absently to him as he leaves, not taking your eyes off of Jesse’s as your chest fills with fire. You open your mouth to snap back, but the pure weariness that flashes across Jesse’s face sinks in like a knife between your ribs and suddenly you’re just tired.

You collapse into the vacant chair beside his bed and put your face in your hands.

“Kriff, Jess, I’m sorry.” You huff out a little laugh. “I came here to cheer you up, believe it or not.”

Looking up, you’re in time to see Jesse’s face soften. He reaches out and knocks his fist gently against your temple.

“Bold strategy you’re usin’.”

You swallow tightly and keep your eyes on the blankets when you make your next admission, choking the words out. “I didn’t mean to get mad. You just really fuckin’ scared me this time.”

Jesse chuckles weakly. “Think I scared myself. I…I really thought that was it, for a moment.”

You breathe out, long and slow, and try to push away the could-have-beens. He’s here, he’s whole, and he’s alive. Each one of those things is its own blessing. Some part of you still feels like it’s stuck in the awful silence of your comm station as you typed in code after code and prayed, unable to reach any of them and only being able to think about Jesse. His laugh, the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, the way it makes your stomach tie itself into knots, and the ache in your gut when you thought you’d lost the chance to tell him any of it.

You’re used to being haunted by thoughts of him, but now all your memories have a slightly bitter edge, soured by the possibility that they’d almost been all you had. It’s harder than you expected to let that go, even if you’ve always known you might have to.

“I’m damn glad it wasn’t,” is what you get out eventually. “This place’d be boring without you.”

Jesse quirks a smile. You just want to hold on to him, kiss that smile straight off his stupid face, and can’t bring yourself to care that you’re staring. “Maker, I know, I’m bored already and I’m only stuck in the medbay. What’ve you got for me?”

You reach into the bag at your feet and pull out a card deck and a bottle of blumfruit juice. “I couldn’t bring the boys, but at least I’ve brought the cards, right?”

The way that Jesse’s whole face lights up makes the knot in your chest loosen. You dig around a bit more and pull out Jesse’s razor kit – there’s a fine layer of visible stubble growing on the unbandaged bits of his head. Aside from his huge Republic cog tattoo and the fact the stubble’s dark, he’s starting to look eerily like Rex.

“I thought you might want these tomorrow, too, I cleared them with Coric so I won’t accidentally land you in trouble.”

Jesse tilts his head a little bit and just watches you. You fight the urge to fidget and place the razor kit on the edge of the blanket; it’s hard not to shrug this off like you have a hundred times before, but you made a promise to yourself when you’d heard he’d come back alive. You won’t hide how you feel any more, and he can do what he likes with it. At least you will have given him the choice.

“You went and got these for me?” he asks eventually, his gaze pointed and calculating. You expected it – there’s a reason he’s on the Captain’s core squad – but it still makes you feel naked.

“You always bitch when your hair starts growing in,” You smile. Jesse’s expression clears, but whatever conclusion he’s come to he keeps to himself. He puts the razor on the side table and grins at you.

“The stubble itches. Now are you gonna deal us in, or what?”

You’re halfway through your first hand before you realise something crucial is missing from the set.

“Kriff, I forgot my betting chips! Sorry Jess, I can run back and get them if you like.”

Jesse picks up the bottle of blumfruit juice and gulps a mouthful, his mouth stained slightly red.

“I think I’ve got a better idea. Much more fun if we bet favours, right?”

His expression is far too innocent. You narrow your eyes at him as you accept the bottle and bring it to your lips. “What kind of favours?”

He shrugs. “Just little things. Ship duties, stuff you’ve always wanted to know…that kind of thing. I know you’ve always wanted to get back at Fives for what happened on Orto Plutonia.”

You lick your lips slowly. It’s a tempting proposition, which is dangerous for someone who is so thoroughly shit at sabacc, and for someone who’s opponent knows it.

“…Alright. But we’ve got to agree on the favour before it enters the pool.”

Jesse’s grin is sharklike. “Deal.”

Over the course of the next three hours you lose your mess hall slot, have to tell Jesse the story of how you ended up locked in the communal showers for three hours, and owe him two whole bottles of his favourite Alderaanian spirit.

In return, all you have managed to swindle is that payback on Fives, so when Jesse suggests one more round at 0300, you’re hesitant. You’re pretty sure you’re in love with him, but you still have a little dignity.

“Aw, come on. Where’s the honour in givin’ in?” Jesse grins.

“There’s no honour in marching blindly to defeat, either,” you counter, gathering up the sabacc cards to shuffle anyway. Besides, if you yawn any more you think your soul might escape your body.

“Maybe not, but I think you’ll like what I’ve got in mind.”

His face is oddly serious, and it piques your interest. Before you can stop yourself, you’re nodding and dealing out the cards again, fighting for composure when you lift yours and see the brilliant pair you’ve picked up.

“Fine, one more round. If I win you have to cover my next shift stocking ordnance,” you say quickly.

Jesse swallows, his honey brown eyes boring into you. “Sure. But if I win, I get a kiss.”

Faintly, you think someone must have opened an airlock somewhere, because you can’t breathe. You hear your lungs suck in, see the way Jesse leans a little towards you, the expression on his face almost hungry. There’s a faint ringing in your ears as you nod eagerly, your palms sweating.

What follows is possibly the longest 30 minutes of your life. It figures, really, that the one game of sabacc you desperately want to lose is the one you can’t seem to not win. When the match is up you scowl at the perfect score of 23 in your hand and toss it down onto the bed covers.

“Sorry Jesse, read ‘em and weep. I’ve got pure sabacc.”

Jesse leans over to read, but instead of looking as annoyed as you feel, he just smirks.

“Now now, cyar’ika, don’t be hasty. Let me present to you: the Idiot’s Array.”

You lean forward before you can stop yourself. “No fucking way.”

The rarest hand in the game? You’ve gotta see that.

Jesse smugly spreads out his cards. You smack him. “That’s not the Idiot’s Array!”

“It is too.”

“Then where’s the Idiot Card, genius?”

Without pausing, Jesse lifts his hands and points two thumbs at himself, grinning at you. “Right here, darlin’.”

You laugh, heat creeping up through your cheeks to the tips of your ears. You slide onto the bed and place your palms either side of Jesse’s legs, your pulse thundering under the heat of his eyes.

“Guess I owe you a kiss, then.”

Jesse’s hand sneaks up to cup the back of your neck. “Yeah. Guess you do.”

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck pt 10

♡ Part one| Previous

You couldn't believe it, that not even a month could go by without having to worry about Mark. You woke up several hours after you got that text, and couldn't help the way your heart sinked, you had to get up and shower with the coldest water to be ready for the upcoming long day, calling said unknown number to ask for an explanation.

“Who's this?” ask back as you make your way to the door.

“Y/N? It's Jisung! Do you not have my number saved?”

“Jisung, it doesn't matter right now!” although you knew that it would be a big complain from him later “What happened to Mark?”

“He's alright now... Do you want us to pick you up so you can see him?”

“Well, yes, that's why I called, but what happened?”

“Wait, I'll tell Jeno and Jaemin to pick you up, they must be close to your place now” and he hung up, avoiding the question you made him.

You sat on the sidewalk, waiting for the car to arrive, writing a text for your mom apologizing for leaving suddenly and so early. The streets were barely lighted by the daylight, but when you saw the car lights shining in your way, you knew immediately who it was, you stood up quickly and walked in their way, Jeno rolled the passenger window down and both him and Jaemin smiled sweetly at you, you almost forgot where you were going, and jumped in the back seat. The ride to the hospital was full of laughs, you even stopped in a convenience store to buy coffee and snacks because none of you have had breakfast. Jaemin parked and the tension in the air made its way back to the moment, suddenly feeling too awkward and guilty to hold hands with Jaemin when he started brushing his fingers on your palm while you three walked to the hospital.

You've never stepped in a hospital before, when you were younger you were over protected, you never got [physically] hurted, nor did you go with your parents when someone did have an emergency, and everything overwhelming; families waiting for news of their loved ones, people who looked in pain, doctors and nurses who probably went home crying from too many emotions at their work place, you couldn't even imagine how Mark would look laying in those uncomfortable beds.

“Mark Lee” Jaemin says walking to a lady in a counter

“Are you his family?” she says in a monotone way, not even turning to look at him “only his family is allowed to see him”

“His family doesn't leave here, I'm his roommate”

The lady types Mark's name, not questioning anymore, probably feeling compassion over that young boy being alone all night , having no one else for him than his friends, who had been annoying her since she started her shift. She tells him he's not taking visits, but he's gonna be allowed out in a couple hours.

Jaemin makes his way back to you and Jeno, both unsure of asking, he just sits in the waiting chairs, his body too tired, not from today, rather than everything becoming too much.

“I'm going out for a smoke, do you want to come?” his friend asks, noticeably stressed with the hospital environment, Jaemin looks at you and shakes his head, Jeno palms his back and rushes out.

“You should go, I can wait here” Jaemin can't help the grin forming in his face when he hears your voice, he thinks it's adorable how not even in a time like this he can't be unhappy if you're there.

“No, he's just-” he realizes he's spilling too much “he doesn't like hospitals”

“I mean, who does?” you sit next to him, placing your hand on his thigh “are you okay?”

Jaemin thinks of opening up, he trusts you and he knows you'd understand his emotions better than him anyway, he wonders if it's easier to lie and say he's alright, but tired, and eventually decides that whatever he says is useless anyway.

“Aw fuck, did you tell your parents you were coming?”

“I left a note, I told them Mark had an emergency and to call me when they read it”

“I shouldn't have brought you here, I shouldn't have brought you yesterday, I just keep dragging you into this mess, I'm sorry Y/N” he hadn't even realized himself how guilty he had been feeling, for the longest time, none of it was him, but he made it him anyway, he'd never been violent, neither did he enjoy the things he did, he just did them anyway, but after a couple years of losing himself, he forgot that too, and having someone that cared for him as much as you did, he felt guilty over making you a part of his life, over stealing Mark's chance, your chance to leave him and leave the whole thing, he never meant it, he'd never do that to you “I'll take you back, Jeno can wait here and-”

“You never even told me what happened” you cut him off and he wonders if you were able to listen to the rant on his head “no one has told me what happened and I hate making up scenarios of this, just tell me what happened, I'm gonna find out anyway” your voice was full of anger and fear, but you couldn't handle it any longer, you hated that feeling of being kept from the whole thing, it made you feel like they didn't trust you at all.

“He, uh, a lot happened, actually” he takes a deep breath as he dives in deeper waters of guilt “you saw him last night, we kinda got into an argument before you left, he's not himself when he's drunk, he's a good guy, you know, but, he got a little bit out of his mind, he had been drinking, he had been smoking with Jeno prior to that, and when we left he tried to leave too, he crashed, but that's not why he's here, he, uh, got up, too numbed to realize that he hurted his ankle and got some lines of coke, too many, actually, he got overdosed and they took him here” Jaemin didn't notice the moment tears started rolling down his cheeks, it was guilt that was swallowing him alive, thinking of how he was the root of every single problem they were having “I didn't know that, I didn't know he was doing all that in a single day, I didn't know he'd try to follow us, I would've taken his keys, I would've said sorry, I shouldn't have taken you there, I shouldn't even be talking to you right now”

And you can't help but cry when he does, knowing how emotional and empathetic Jaemin could actually be, knowing how he tends to take credit for everything that goes wrong, hell, he probably blames himself for climate change, and knowing how sorry and scared he must have been feeling.

“Jaemin, it's not your fault. Mark makes hus own choices, maybe all of them are bad, but those are his” you swipe away the tears off his face with your thumbs “you didn't force him to do any of that, and I know you mean so much more to each other than you say, but you can't keep taking everything he does just because he's broken or whatever you're telling yourself” but you noticed mid-sentence that this was something you needed to tell yourself too “I'm sure he's grateful for you, but you can't keep fixing his mess every single time”

He feels like a weight has been lifted off him, knowing that you can see him for him, you can see how he cares for Mark, and understands what you mean, but it doesn't feel right at all.

“Yeah, i know that” he sits straight again, he looks like he never had that breakdown “Anyway, he's alright now, somehow, do you want me to buy you some coffee?”

You spot Jeno coming back, probably just because it was cold outside. “No, but I could use a walk, the environment is weird here”

You stand up as Jeno makes his way to the chair next to Jaemin.

“Can you take a shift waiting? She's feeling sick and we're taking a break” Jaemin asks his best friend “or you can come, he's probably taking hours to be free, he can wait anyway”

Jeno shakes his head, assuring Jaemin that he'd rather be inside, and that Mark could get kicked out any minute if he was awake.

There's not much to see in the surroundings of a hospital, nor in the parking lot, but the pain of all those people, mixed with Jaemin's and your own was getting overbearing. Jaemin takes a cigarette in his mouth and skillfully lights it real quick, you try to remember if you've ever seen him smoking, but you couldn't remember, nor could you remember his car of his clothes smelling like he did. He's quick to finish it, taking big puffs and barely taking it away from his mouth. He noticed you were staring at him.

“Do you want one?” he forgot his whole lecture on why he was guilty over dragging you into his life and suddenly he remembered as he was sure you were about to say yes “please don't say yes, I didn't mean to offer you one, actually” but he takes out another one, places it on his mouth and lights it, too quickly.

You couldn't help it but remember Mark, because the truth was that anyone who met Mark, would never be able to leave without thinking about him, he was too special to forget. Yes, Jaemin was the sweetest person on Earth, and granted, you'd choose him any day over any other person, and that's why your heart sunk when you remembered what the days hiding in abandoned place with Mark were like, full of uncertainty, but exciting anyway, how his strong leather and tobacco scent would pierce into your nose for the whole day, how he'd make you feel when his fingers ran through your thighs. You loved Mark, you've loved him for a while now, but now you loved him in a different way, you told yourself. There was no use in comparing the two of them since they were absolutely opposite to each other, but you'd love to forget what you felt for Mark anyway.

You take Jaemin's hand on your own, stealing a puff of his almost finished cigar, blowing the smoke directly to his face and smile fondly when he laughs it off. Something about Jaemin always felt right. He throws the rest of it, not risking a burnt when as he rounds your back with his big arms. He could swear he sees a whole galaxy in your eyes, the way they shine is absolutely stunning and it makes him feel warm and fulfilled. He gets closer for a kiss, a sweet kiss, but with the taste of tobacco in his mouth, it becomes easy to forget where you are. You can feel someone walking in your direction as you get away from each other. Jeno and Mark are walking slowly to the car, you remember how Jaemin said he hurt his ankle and giggle at Jeno smiling at Mark's struggle. Both you and Jaemin walk to them, but Mark doesn't care at all, you expected him to be less of an ass by then, and he expected it too, knowing well how much everyone cared for him, but too bitter seeing Jaemin with you, convinced that it should be him who's kissing you and taking you out every Friday night.

Jaemin drives you all to Mark's place, you've never been there, and you don't want to be there either way, so you wait in the car while they make sure Mark can survive a couple hours alone, he can't help but feel defeated, owing his literal life to Jaemin but still pretty annoyed about his new relation. Jeno decides to stay with Mark, promising he'll call someone to take a shift later, and now Jaemin has a some more time alone with you.

Your mom was worried after she read that note, following your instructions and calling you as soon as she saw it.

“He's alright mom, he hurted his ankle, that's it”

“Are you sure? We can bring him something and pay him a visit”

“I think he is tired, besides, I want to spend some time with Jaemin, can I come home later?”

She agrees, too enchanted when Jaemin was mentioned, and diving more into the idea of you setting down with him. Boys were never a priority to you, and somehow it made her happy you were with him. You had already hung up when Jaemin came back to the car, not sure if he should ask you out on a spontaneous date or wait until you suggested it.

“Are you busy, like, right now?” you ask before he can decide on what to do

“Not really, why?”

“I don't know, I wanted to go out, but now I'm thinking I'm more in the mood for a movie at home”

“Do you want me to take you home?” you laughed at how naive he could be sometimes

“I want to go to your place” you confess “well if you don't mind it, maybe we could go to my room and cuddle there”

Jaemin thought of the scene: his mom would definitely be surprised, he couldn't remember if his room was clean, but he sure wanted his mom to meet you, he wanted to have dinner together, he wanted to show you the cool stuff gathered in his room. “Well, we can go to my place”

Next

__________________________________________

A.N: i will never say sorry enough times because i can't help but take too long to update this,,,, anyway, thank you so much for reading this, i hope you're having a nice day/night, some people are still in quarantine and it can be messy to our heads, remember to take care of yourselves, much love! ♡

[illusivesoul]

OC Interview Meme

Thanks for the tag, @forlornmelody :)

I'll tag @occorner @commander-sass-effect @comefeedtherainn @inoshatrynn and @sabitherunt . Only if you feel like doing this, of course.

The rules: Answer the following questions as your OC of choice.

1. What’s your name?

Katerina Shepard. If all goes well, it might be Katerina T'Soni in the future. We'll see how that goes.

2. Do you know why you are called that?

The people that "took care" of me when I was a child called me Katya (short for Katerina) because of a disgusting, cheap candy which had a redhead girl in the loggo it with the same name.

Shepard was the last name of someone who save my life when I was young.

Let's leave it at that.

3. Are you single or taken?

Taken.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

I'm very, very good with sniper rifles and knives.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

I'm far from being that.

6. What’s your eye color?

Green.

7. How about your hair color?

Red.

8. Have any family members?

I've several people I consider family by now, but otherwise, no. No direct family.

9. Oh? How about any pets?

Have a Varren but he's on Thessia.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

Weakness.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

I like studying history, mainly human history. I like to hike, swim and cook, tough I didn't had much of a chance to do them before.

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

In more ways than you can imagine.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

I think I can safely say I'm the biggest mass murderer the Milky Way has seen. Or do you know anyone else who has a couple consecutive genocides on their record ?

14. What kind of animal are you?

I like wolfs. Maybe that. A "lone wolf".

Cliched, I know. Not sorry.

15. Name your worst habits?

I'm, uh... a bit of a drinker. Coping mechanism.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Several people. Admiral Hackett, David Anderson, Kaidan Alenko, Karin Chakwas...

There are others, but I'd rather not name them.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

Bi, I guess. Never been one for labels.

18. Do you go to school?

Only schools I went to were the Alliance Basic Training and N School.

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

Never thought about it until a couple of years back.

Now... yeah, I'd like that. A lot.

It's a nice dream, at least.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

The Alliance propped me up as their poster girl after Elysium. It was inevitable.

It was mostly colonists. Most people on Earth didn't knew or care about who I was or what I did, and I liked it that way.

21. What are you most afraid of?

Hurting and losing what little I have left. Again.

22. What do you usually wear?

Tank tops, cargo pants or shorts and jackets. That's about all the clothes I own.

23. What one food tempts you?

Pizza. Brings back good memories.

24. Am I annoying you?

You'd know If I was.

25. Well, it’s still not over!

Great.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

I'd say low for most of my life.

The only times I've gone up was because I was fortunate enough to meet people who took care of me for a while.

Money was good when I was with the Alliance, but all I ever wanted was food and a roof over my head.

27. How many friends do you have?

Like 6 or 7.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Good, I guess ? I don't eat it much tough.

29. Favourite drink?

Vodka.

30. What’s your favorite place?

There is... there was this beach in the Gran Colombia, back on Earth. I swear it was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen.

Nowadays, well, sorry If I sound corny but wherever Liara is.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

No, not at all. What makes you say that ?

32. That was a stupid question…

I get a lot of those. Its no problem.

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

The Ocean. Nothing compares to the Ocean.

34. What’s your type?

I've never much of a romantic life, believe it or not...

The few people I've been with romantically were very different from each other.

I can't explain why my mess of a brain just connects with certain people. It's a mystery, even to me.

35. Any fetishes?

Go ask Liara. If she doesn't throws you across the, I'll tell you. Deal ?

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

Outdoors! Nature is what we need. Get away from cities for a while.

Its good for the body and soul.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: You got no business looking that good Rio: This is a religious holiday Buster: Don't look at me like that Buster: You're being unholy yourself, like Rio: Ha, try and make me stop Rio: we're fine, everyone's too busy with their lamb, thanks da Buster: You might be fine but I'm eventually gonna have to get up from this table Rio: You want me to pass you some water, babe? Buster: Don't you dare Rio: Salt? The peas? Buster: Behave Rio: But I'm bored Rio: and you're hot Buster: Well, bored isn't the word for how you're making me feel Buster: And don't start me on how you fucking look Rio: But I need to know what you're thinking Buster: But I thought you knew everything, babe Buster: Losing your touch already, like Rio: You want me to show you I ain't here and now? Rio: Well, okay Buster: Okay Buster: Go on Rio: Damn, been a while since I had to play footsie Buster: If you aren't up to it, like Rio: Please Rio: You know I could get you off from here if I wanted to Buster: You promising or warning me? Rio: Neither Rio: 😇 naturally Rio: wish it was though Buster: I wish you were on my lap right now Rio: Baby 😩 Rio: Play nice Buster: 😇 Buster: Get me a drink, yeah? I wanna see more of you Rio: What you want? Buster: Surprise me Rio: Stick to your usual Rio: Raising enough eyebrows being civil, never mind if I get you a 🍸 Buster: 😂 Buster: I can throw it back in your face if you like Buster: Be very uncivil Rio: 😂 Rio: I know you want me on you but you want it that bad you'll settle for a fat lip Buster: I'll take it if you call me later to make up Rio: Face that cute? I could never Rio: Though makeup sex is always worth it Buster: Never say never, babe Rio: You planning to get me that mad already? Buster: Like you said, we're raising eyebrows otherwise Rio: Hmpf Buster: Don't look at me like that either Rio: I can't help it Rio: I want you Rio: I hate pretending otherwise Rio: even though we gotta, obvs Buster: I know, babe Buster: There's gotta be something this fam is running low on so I can be a gent and take you to buy more Rio: Not fucking eggs that's for sure, think they've forgotten we ain't kids anymore Rio: the haul Jay's gonna walk away with will last her 'til she's at least 2 Buster: Maybe if I leave them here Buster: Chlo ain't got the willpower or memo that she ain't a kid herself Buster: I'd offer to keep drinking so we run out but I already don't trust myself around you Rio: Wouldn't be a proper function if someone didn't get wasted and disgrace themselves Rio: Put you to bed before you properly drag us both down, don't worry babe Buster: Don't, I need you to take me to bed Buster: or anywhere else Rio: I know Rio: I'll think of something Buster: Couldn't you have worn a church look or whatever Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: This is my church look Rio: turning it out for Jesus 💁 Buster: 'Course Buster: Ready to pray, yeah? Rio: Think pretending I dropped something only works in the porn but I'm game to see if you are Buster: I'm game for everything Rio: I know Rio: Thank fuck 🙌🙏 Buster: Am I a bad person if I use my kid as an excuse to leave? Rio: Hmm Rio: Probably but church portion of the day well out the way so even the big man can't be judging Buster: Fuck I can't though, can I? She's loving all this Rio: Yeah, bless her Buster: Least she's too young to know that her mum didn't contribute to the easter basket or even wish her a happy one Buster: Too busy flirting with me, like Rio: 😒 Rio: Bitch Buster: I told her me and Erin broke up 'cause there was someone else but she only heard the first part, obviously Buster: Not even any of her business what I do but that's a whole other story Rio: That'll be fun then, thinking she's got more of a chance than she usually does Rio: How does she not die of shame, like Buster: She'll outlive everyone Buster: Just to fuck me off Rio: 😂 Rio: all those spa trips Rio: going to the fucking fountain of youth Buster: Honestly Buster: I'm gonna need a buy myself a spa if she goes through with her plan to come here and pick Jay up Rio: 😬 Rio: least I get to see her best attempt at a seduce 'em 'fit Rio: see what I'm up against, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Indie's got more game and she's a kid Rio: pass on the compliment Rio: full of the joys of spring, babe Buster: She'll love that. I've seen her looking at me when I'm trying not to look at you Rio: Can't blame her Rio: You look especially good rn Buster: Still not on your level, babe Buster: You're so fucking beautiful Rio: Don't Rio: gonna make me blush Buster: I have to Buster: You need to know Rio: Baby Rio: Come find me in 5 idc Rio: I've got to see you properly Buster: Where? Rio: The studio upstairs Rio: there's old toys and shit in there that we can be trying to find Buster: and good lighting Buster: 'cause you know I wanna see you properly too Rio: Exactly Rio: you can appreciate fully Buster: I'm really appreciating how loud this fam is right now Rio: Got their uses Buster: If Jay gets much more hype there ain't nothing I couldn't do that they'd pick up on Rio: She's stealing your thunder, it true Rio: everyone too 😍 to notice us Buster: Good Buster: I only want you to notice me anyway Buster: No offense Indie Rio: Trust, I've not been able to focus on anything else Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Me either but still gonna make you 😏 Buster: Go Buster: I'll see you in 5 Rio: 👋 Buster: I can't believe we actually got away with that Buster: Again Rio: We're just that good Rio: or they're just really deaf Buster: I like option 1 Buster: You're so good, Rio Rio: You too baby Rio: No matter how many times you make me cum, never enough, like Rio: mad Buster: What are you doing later? Buster: Come over and I won't stop Rio: Got a shift but can probably pop 'round after and Indie won't be home yet to clock I'm not Rio: thinks I got a mans anyway so Buster: As long as you don't wake Jay you can come over when you want Buster: Yeah? What did you tell her Rio: Of course Rio: 😶😇 Rio: Oh, that I've been fucking you, obviously Buster: Cheers for making me choke on my drink like a soft cunt, babe Buster: Hilarious Buster: Grandad's looking at me like I killed a bloke Rio: 😂 sacrilege to not be able to handle your drink in this fam Rio: just can't handle my bants, soz babe Buster: He'd rather I did someone over with my glass, I know Rio: Questionable ethics for a easter egg hunt for kiddos but go off, old man Buster: 😂 Buster: Gotta keep that competitive edge Rio: Don't, this lot need a referee Rio: putting Indie and Jan on time out Buster: I volunteer Grace Buster: Imagine like Rio: Definition of lamb to the slaughter Rio: appropriate for today but poor girl 😂 Buster: I'll cut her some slack, she's good with my kid Rio: Yeah Rio: who doesn't love a cute new baby Rio: programmed to in this fam Buster: True Buster: Only reason I ain't disinherited Rio: Weren't you're 'rents basically your age anyway? Rio: Can't judge when you make the same mistakes, just be very, very disappointed on the low 😜 Buster: Different story that we're all sick of hearing though, ain't it? Buster: My dad was in love with my mum when he was like 7 Rio: 'bout to say that's a madness but did mine really mature much in those 8 years like? Rio: 🙄 mental, all of 'em Buster: This fucking fam 🙄🙄 Buster: I'd rather be like Chlo who Rio: As much as she is that forgettable, defs not gonna happen on her watch is it Buster: She's still flirting Buster: Give it up, babe Buster: But like don't Rio: Pretend to be your new crazy gf if you wanna Rio: losing her mind searching for socials that don't exist Buster: Please Rio: Easy Rio: Comforted enough of my friends when they're in the wrong to know how to go off Buster: Come through for me then Rio: Fun Rio: Lemme hit up Grace for her straighteners Buster: She'll be buzzing Rio: Forreal, always trying to come for my hair Buster: 😒 Rio: Probably does look a mess now no thanks to you Rio: like bitch, you been dragged through a hedge backwards what's good Buster: Shut up Buster: You know you look good Rio: You might've mentioned a few times 😋 Buster: I'll show you a few more times if you need me to Buster: Just say the word, like Rio: Trying to get me to say the p word Rio: Gonna have to do better Buster: If I was trying you'd have already said it Rio: Promises, promises Rio: Can have that one for free Buster: Well, can't exactly promise to bend you over the table, much as I might wanna Rio: Buster Rio: Why put that in my head when I'm here having to wash up with the mas Buster: It's been in mine since I got here Rio: ugh Rio: either come help or go away Rio: can't have you near me if you're not gonna be near enough Buster: I like you but I don't like you that much Buster: I'll go do some daddy duties like Rio: 😂 Rio: fucking cheek Rio: good luck getting her away from your ma, that manicures too expensive for our dishwater, like Buster: It's not all you, I ain't about to leave my watch lying around this lot either Rio: have your hand off for it like Rio: didn't you know you were coming to the 24 Buster: I had tunnel vision, didn't I? Rio: Good Rio: how I like it Buster: I know Rio: What else do you know Buster: I know I want to be alone with you Rio: Tonight Buster: Yeah Buster: Unless you've got a better offer all of a sudden, that is Rio: You what? Buster: What I said Rio: Yeah but Rio: No, not since you last checked in like, 10 minutes ago, we're still on babe 😂 Buster: Says you but your phone been blowing up since then Buster: So whatever Rio: It's literally Indie Rio: Told you she's Sherlocking me Rio: Was you jealous? Buster: Fuck off Buster: 'Course not Rio: Awww Rio: How cute Buster: Shut up no Rio: Yeah you were Rio: s'okay, you know you got no reason to be now and i can't tell no one anyway Buster: I always knew I had no reason to be, babe, I ain't no proper competition Buster: That's why I wasn't Rio: Oh, really? Rio: Well then, I won't make an extra special effort to show you how much you do not need to be jealous Rio: Cool with me Buster: Behave Buster: No need to go that far, babe Buster: You can still show me something Rio: Idk now Rio: catch me going through my contacts like 🤔🤔🤔 Rio: got me thinkin' Buster: Yeah you do Buster: You know you won't get better than this right here Rio: Yeah Rio: so you still gonna let me have it or are you too pouty now? Buster: Yeah 'cause you obviously need me to remind you how good you got it with me Rio: Don't but want it so Rio: Please Buster: Let's go then Buster: I'll get Jay ready and follow you out Rio: Can't yet Rio: In fact, brb for a sec Buster: Seriously? Rio: [Suitable amount of time to have a smoke later] Rio: Back Rio: Indie needed some TLC Buster: I reckon you meant THC Rio: That too Buster: You wanna go now? Rio: Reckon this party's pretty much over Rio: got the 🍫 let's ride Buster: I can say I'm giving you a ride yeah? That's just gentlemanly Buster: Otherwise you'll freeze to death waiting around the corner Rio: I appreciate you resisting the urge to make a joke about me working the corner this time, like Rio: much obliged 👍 Rio: yeah, that seems normal and not suspicious Buster: Well, don't actually want that fat lip you threatened me with earlier Buster: Even if you would kiss it better Rio: For a whitey, your lips aren't bad Rio: so I'll leave you how you are 😘 Buster: Cheers Rio: Please tell me there's no family functions for a while? Rio: Hard work not being able to be on you Buster: Christ knows with this fam that I can't make that promise Buster: But I swear you'll never have to wait long for me to come find you whenever there is Rio: Now, THAT'S a promise Buster: And you can hold me to it, babe Rio: I will

[six-fxxt-undxr]

Ellie Goulding sentence starters

"You're the only thing I wanna touch."

"What are you waiting for?"

"I'll let you set the pace."

"It's a little dirty how the whole thing started."

"Thought that you were cute and you could make me jealous."

"You wanted my heart but I just liked your tattoos."

"Let's join forces."

"I know you've been burned, but every fire is a lesson learned."

"You're so worth it, you are."

"I wish I could be it all for you."

"Everybody's starry-eyed."

"Who are we to play with hearts and throw away it all?"

"I don't like the way I never listen to myself."

"I feel like I'm on fire, I'm too shy to cry for help."

"I don't think you know me much at all."

"This love will be your downfall."

"Who am I to choose the boy that everyone adores?"

"You set your sights on him."

"I've seen you in a fight; you lost."

"We're in a mess, babe."

"I'd rather pretend I'll still be there at the end."

"I don't ask for much."

"Maybe we forgot all the things we are together."

"I really thought that we'd go further."

"I'm tired of trying to keep you."

"You won't see me again."

"I wish I stayed."

"It's a shame you don't know what you're running from."

"You know this is your biggest mistake."

"Reassure me that you'll wait for me as long as it takes."

"You are the risk I'll always take."

"Tell me that we're still too young and I'll hold my tongue."

"That is no way to love."

"You're as bright as the sun and as calm as the moon."

"I don't know when you'll break, but it's gonna be soon."

"I won't tell the truth unless you want me to."

"I am so scared of what will kill me in the end."

"I hope I will get the chance to be someone."

"I'm trying not to lose my faith in you."

"I used to hear it all so loud, the sound of my heart breaking."

"I can take anything."

"This will always be my home."

"We are seventeen, we have just begun."

"I want to fall in love with you again."

"You can't make it right when it's wrong."

"Don't let it slip through your fingertips."

"We've only ever touched when there's no one else around."

"I'm not being intrusive, I just wish I knew the truth."

"I think about you more than I think one should."

"I'm making up for lost time."

"Trying to impress you, but lord I don't know how."

"I'm more alive I've ever been."

"I've chosen you."

"That feeling that doesn't go away just did."

"Anything could happen."

"After the war we said we'd fight together."

"I'll give you everything you need."

"I don't think I need you."

"I know you better than I ever have before."

"I know you're a fighter, but you never fought for me."

"We could be closer."

"You show me what it feels like to be lonely."

"It's gonna be better."

"Still not too old to die young."

"Lovers hold on to everything, and lovers hold on to anything."

"I need you more than I can take."

"You promise forever and a day, and then you take it all away."

"I've figured out that joy is not in your arms."

"I know I'll always ache with an empty heart."

"Tell me if you feel this pain."

"I just can't keep hanging on to you and me."

"I barely even know this fucking woman in my bed."

"You trembled like you'd seen a ghost."

"I lacked the things you need the most."

"I've loved and I've lost."

"It's okay to be afraid."

"It will never be the same."

"The rules you set are still untold to me."

"I've lost my faith in everything."

"I know you better than you think."

"You were like home to me."

"Please don't close your eyes, don't know where to look without them."

"I know you care, I know it has always been there."

"There's trouble ahead, I can feel it."

"You are just saving yourself when you hide it."

"It wasn't always wrong."

"Now I don't warm my hands in your coat, but I still hope."

"This is how things ought to have been."

"Why can't I dream?"

"I know you care, I see it in the way you stare."

"There was trouble ahead and you knew it."

"I'll be saving myself from the ruin."

"This is new."

"I've never met anyone like you."

"I'll wait for you... maybe."

"I know I'm fooled, I can't help it."

"You make my heart so helpless."

"Where did you go?"

"I need to be free with you tonight."

"I know you're there but I can't see you anymore."

"I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart."

"I know I’ve sinned."

"Sooner or later, I'll be on my own."

"I think I've been waiting for this all my life."

"I’m living on the wild side."

"It feels like we’re dreaming."

"We’ll be this way forever."

"I wanna hold you close, I just never wanna hold you tight."

"You are my only hope."

"I know you don't feel the same."

"You're sensible but it doesn't make sense."

"You know I'm gonna try much harder."

"Have you lost the same things I have lost?"

"I wish time was still, we'd stay right here with time to kill."

"You left everything behind except yourself."

"All I see is question marks and nothing else."

"You must have landed in New York by now."

"Please don't bring this love down."

"I'll never forget that feeling when I watched you disappear, when you made me stop believing."

"Do you remember boy when you were so cruel? When you played the thief and I played the fool."

"You think I’m still broken-hearted, but you will never win the war you started."

"How long will I be with you?"

"Everything I touch turns to gold."

"Baby, let me touch your body and your soul."