#you’re treating them as an extension of elias tragedy

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

Frankly, I don’t agree with your conclusion.

The reality is that Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage was loveless (in a romantic sense) and was arranged by Aerys. There’s been much conjecture over why Aerys chose Elia and therefore Dorne, but most agree that it was a mix of reasons, three being that Elia had Targaryen blood, by marrying Rhaegar to Dorne Aerys could isolate Rhaegar’s growing power block, and it’d insult Tywin. Therefore we readers know this wasn’t a normal marriage. And GRRM, if I’m remembering correctly, called Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage a tragedy.

So, from what little we know it’s fairly easy to conclude that this marriage was not healthy for either party.

When people use the arranged marriage “excuse” they’re not really excusing anything, because they don’t attach the normal standards of marriage to this relationship. The way I see it, most arranged marriages are legal ways to buy and sell people for profit under the guise of marital sanctimony. So to me, both parties (Rhaegar and Elia) should have been able to have lovers outside of their arranged marriage, however, that was not possible because of the patriarchal standards women are unfairly expected to uphold and subject themselves to.

The only “cheating” I wouldn’t justify would be cheating between couples that actually fell in love. Therefore, your usage of Ned Stark to support your point actually doesn’t in my eyes as his and Catelyn’s marriage is love based. There is a clear difference here and equating their marriage to Rhaegar and Elia’s is doing a disservice to GRRM’s writing and any reader of ASOIAF.

To go over some of the other points you made 1) the idea that Rhaegar got with Lyanna specifically for the prophecy is bs that’s been consumed and regurgitated way too many times and has no standing as a legitimate theory if you actually read the books. 2) The idea that people would readily support Rhaegar and Lyanna’s relationship is iffy at best. You’re overstating the North’s standing and image as to many in the South the Northerners are nothing more than barbarians who worship tree gods. The only reason the North seems to have a better standing than Dorne at the moment is because of Ned and Cat’s relationships outside of the North. So no, the world wouldn’t just fall over at Lyanna’s feet and abandon Elia because of xenophobia. If anything, Lyanna and Jon would be the ones in need of protection. 3) Believing that Elia and her children’s lives would be in danger is, quite frankly, an unnecessary concern when taking into account Lyanna and Rhaegar’s personalities and the little we know about Rhaegar’s relationship with his children (he clearly loved them and had a good relationship with them).

To play the devil’s advocate for a sec, I want to say that I completely understand the distaste towards cheating and anything of it’s like. I really do understand why people take issue with Rhaegar and Lyanna’s relationship, however, when taking the entire situation into account I don’t believe that this actually qualifies as “cheating” as we know it, nor do I think it’s okay for stan’s to completely warp a character just because Rhaegar did something as human as falling in love outside of his arranged marriage.

Also, I as a reader love the complexity of this situation. I understand all parties and sympathize with all characters. Frankly, all three characters got the short end of the stick and it’s terrible, but I don’t think it’s the characters and their actions that need changing, I think it’s the volatile system that needs to be upended and rebuilt from the ground up.

Why do people in this fandom normalize an affair between Rhaegar and Lyanna?

Because Rhaegar’s marriage was arranged. So it means the reason for arranged marriage is an excuse for cheating and cheating with a highborn woman and running away with her?

Not like that. Just because the marriage was arranged doesn't make it an excuse to affair and run away with the other woman, especially to fulfill the prophecy.

If the three of them were still alive after the rebellion. And People knew the relationships between Rhaegar and Lyanna, the people would surely support them. Because Lyanna is from the North and she is the Stark. And that put Elia and her children's lives in danger. It can happen like the Blackfyre rebellion. Because a lot of people are racist and sentimental towards Dornish.

This fandom is sick of normalizing an affair between Rhaegar and Lyanna. But if happens to Ned Stark if he really has an affair or their other favorite character in the affair, they will be mad.