#you’re making it worse for everyone while reading the little diaries you kept while high as balls in the desert

[frodispatch]

When back in 2016 i wrote about how much of an unreliable narrator Theodore decker is on PINTEREST of all places, like girl, i agree but just cut the slav and get a tumblr.

[smmahamazing]

There's been a pep in my step today because......

It's MirSan day!!!!!

I'm so excited to finally share with you guys a fic that I've been working on since last October. It's gone through some big changes, but I'm proud of it. And EVEN BETTER is that I've teamed up with @eliza-faust-diary, who has created an amazing piece of art to go with it! I'm itching for y'all to see it! So I'll get off my soapbox LOL. Make sure you guys check out the MirSan Collection on AO3 and everything posted from @dayofmirsan​! 

Thanks to the mods for setting this up!

Summary: Miroku Kibe has been irrevocably in love with Sango Tanaka for years. His fear of rejection has always kept him from attempting to get to know her, but when he finds her all by herself at an engagement party, will Miroku take the chance he's given and talk to her?

Read on AO3 and FFN

"So anyways, we didn't find our way back home until the next morning, and we still never found her shoes again!"

Miroku attempted a heartfelt chuckle. Apparently, the last bit of her story was supposed to be some big finale, or a play on words, or an inside joke that he wasn't part of? To be honest, he hadn't been paying all that much attention. He had been trying to find a way out of the conversation for quite a while, but the girl in question ('Is her name Yuki? No….Yuca…..or is that the vegetable?') seemed to talk a mile a minute. And there had been no shortage of stories to tell, much to his disappointment.

"Well…" Miroku stuttered, trying to spit out a sentence that didn't involve trying to figure out her name. "I think I see….I'm just gonna….head over there."

It was probably the flimsiest getway he had ever used on a girl, but his brain felt like mush after sitting through too many of her idiotic stories, and Miroku desperately needed to isolate himself. There was only so much socializing he could do in one night and he didn't want to use up all the energy he could spare for some random girl he cared nothing for.

Miroku walked over to the kitchen and pulled out a fresh beer from the fridge. After taking a generous first sip, he lightly leaned back on the countertop and looked out into the living room. The kitchen was designed with an open room concept, with only a small bar separating it from the living room. From his spot, Miroku could oversee the rest of the party guests mingling throughout the apartment.

He recognized a couple of faces that he might have seen around campus over the years, but for the most part found himself amongst a crowd of people of which he didn't have an inkling of who they were. It didn't bother him much though, not when he could hear Kagome's boisterous laugh from across the living room. He let a small smirk don his face as he once again raised his drink to his lips for another sip.

Today was Inuyasha and Kagome's engagement party.

Miroku normally didn't go to shindigs like this, but over the past couple of years, Kagome had grown to be a very good friend of Miroku's, and he wanted to support her in any way he knew how. That, and Inuyasha practically begged him to come.

Engagement parties were not Inuyasha's thing. Parties in general would tend to put him in a foul mood, and Inuyasha did whatever he could to worm his way out of attending one. But all Kagome needed to do was give Inuyasha those big, soulful, puppy dog eyes of hers, and the next thing you know, he was front and center for the biggest event of the year - until the wedding that is.

Inuyasha didn't have many friends, at least not friends that he could proudly call his own. Most of the partygoers were mutual friends of both Inuyasha and Kagome, but Miroku knew that they only came to be on friendly terms with the surly hanyou because of his bubbly, outgoing fianceé.

Miroku's friendship with Inuyasha also fell under that category. He met Kagome during his  internship at her family's shrine a few years ago - even though they all went to high school together - where they became fast friends due to Kagome's friendly personality, which of course led him to also becoming friends with her boyfriend-now-fiance - but Miroku could say with confidence that his friendship with Inuyasha had grown to something bigger than just being acquainted through Kagome.

Which was still a wild concept for Miroku to grasp. Miroku wouldn't say he was introverted, but he mostly liked to keep to himself. He was an only child to a set of parents who died when he was young, putting him under the guardianship of an old family friend - Mushin. Mushin did his best to raise Miroku, but he didn't really have a great idea about what it was like to raise a child, and Miroku learned early on it was better to grow up than just acting like the child he was.

In the end, Miroku had a hard time relating to most kids his age. He didn't watch the same type of television shows, play games, or collect action figures like the boys he grew up around. Others found him...intimidating, which led to a lonely childhood. But as the years went by, Miroku found that he began to care less and less about the whispered gossip that followed him as he grew up.

Miroku knew Inuyasha also had a rough childhood; perhaps that was the reason they gravitated to each other so easily. Not that they talked about it all that much. That was the great thing about their friendship, it didn't require a lot of talking.

His friendship with Kagome gave him enough of that. That girl really knew how to talk.

Miroku was shaken from his thoughts as Inuyasha sidled up to him, jabbing his fist into his shoulder lightly before leaning up against the countertop beside Miroku, his own drink in hand. "So, have you grown the balls to go talk to her yet, or are you gonna hide in my kitchen all night?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, my friend," Miroku answered, keeping his eye contact on anything but the hanyou beside him.

Because it was a lie. Miroku knew exactly who Inuyasha was talking about.

Sango Tanaka.

Miroku had been in love with her for years. Practically all his life if he was dramatic about it.

Miroku first met Sango when they were in high school. She was a "rough and tough" type of girl, known to play a variety of sports, depending on the season, and trained in a number of martial arts. Her family came from a long line of tajiya, and that was a title she wore proudly. Sango was loud, and opinionated, and didn't take anyone's shit. She never failed to go after what she wanted, and she gave it her all every time.

She was everything Miroku wasn't, and funnily enough, she was everything Miroku ever could have wanted.

He still remembered the first time he had ever laid eyes on Sango. It was the first day of high school, and Miroku had just walked into his history classroom. There had still been ten minutes before the bell was scheduled to ring, signaling everyone to start making their way to their first class of the day. Miroku always liked getting to his classes as early as possible so he could get the best seat.

When he was in middle school, he would always be the first one to enter the classroom, but not this day. Sitting in the front row was a girl, enraptured in a small paperback book. Long, velvet brown hair that went halfway down her back. She wore a faded pink long sleeved shirt that accentuated the natural muscle of her arms, and when she turned around to stare him down with those hazel eyes, Miroku was sure he stopped breathing. 

She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Miroku didn’t know how long he had been standing there staring at her. It wasn't until she gave him a simple greeting that Miroku snapped himself back to reality. He responded with a small greeting of his own, choosing the seat right behind her. At that moment, Miroku knew she'd be the only girl for him.

They spent the rest of the time together in companionable silence. Soon enough, the bell rang and slowly students started trickling into the classroom. She didn't seem to have any friends in this class, which was all the better for Miroku. It felt like he could have a part of her without having to share with anyone else.

She didn't speak to him again after that first day. Several times, Miroku had attempted to work up the courage to talk to her - about anything - but he chickened out every time, and his fear of her reaction to him only grew worse as the years went by. The more he looked on at her life from the background, the more intimidated he was of her. Yet, it only made his fondness for her grow.

She was spunky. By the time they ended their first year, it was known throughout the school that Sango was not a girl to be trifled with. The biggest factor in that perception of her was the fight that year between Sango and another girl - Aki was her name? The girl in question was a real piece of work; generally thought of as "popular", but really, that was just a code word for the term "bitch". Miroku hadn't been there to personally see it, but the rumor was that Aki had been bullying another girl - a transfer from a religious school in the next city over - and ended up in a fist fight with Sango. Aki threw the first punch, but Sango made sure she'd throw the last, while simultaneously making sure everybody understood that bullies at Hiro High wouldn't be tolerated. 

She was given a week's suspension for her part in the fight, but she ended up making a life-long friend in the girl she had defended, Kagome Higurashi. They were inseparable ever since.

Sango's sense of loyalty was both something that Miroku had a hard time grasping, yet something he desperately wanted from her. Despite his sometimes asocial mannerisms, Miroku hadn't been a loner in high school; he had his own small group of friends he would sit with at lunch, or work with on group projects. The term 'friends', though, seemed a little much to define the relationships he held with those people. 'Acquaintance' was a better term. They might all shoot the shit together every now and then, but he never let his guard down around any of them.

The Miroku Kibe that they knew was a fake, hidden by a well tailored mask. His friends were nice enough people, and it wasn't lost to Miroku that they trusted him enough with some of their deeper thoughts. But no matter how much he wanted to let them into his own heart, he always managed to pull back at the last second, placing another wall between himself and the world.

Miroku fantasized about letting Sango be the person to break all his walls. He was certain if anyone could do it, she could.

But there had never been a chance for them, Miroku's own cowardice made sure of that. Instead, he sat on the sidelines, watching Sango and Kagome grow into close friends. Eventually their group of two turned into three when Kagome introduced Sango to Inuyasha. He was the "new kid" their second year of high school, and Kagome had been tasked with showing him around and making sure he felt "welcomed".

Of course 'welcomed' meant showing the new kid where the lunchroom was and where the best junk food machines were, not getting caught making out in the janitors closet, but to each his own, you know?

And yet, here he was, almost eight years since their sophomore year, attending Kagome and Inuyasha's engagement party. Honestly, it had been of no surprise to Miroku to hear about their engagement. Inuyasha and Kagome were your textbook definition of "high school sweethearts". If Miroku believed in the whole "soulmate thing",  he’d describe them as just that. They were polar opposites, like fire and ice. Inuyasha, the grumpy hanyou, and Kagome, the sweet girl next door.

Sometimes, Miroku could just gag from the cuteness of it all.

The couple that had been conversing with Kagome in the living room finally moved away, giving both Miroku and Inuyasha a clear view of the sliding glass doors that led out to the patio. Standing by herself, gazing out at the city below, was Sango. She was wearing a striped magenta shirt, the same color she wore on the day they met, with a pair of forest green pants. Even without all glittery jewelry or immaculate dresses, Sango was still the most beautiful woman at the party.

It was the perfect opportunity for Miroku to finally talk to her. All he had to do was walk up to her and start a conversation; nothing flashy or flirty, just small talk. He'd been doing it all night with random girls who felt the need to invade his personal space, so this should be easy.

The golf ball lodged in Miroku's throat said otherwise, as Miroku nearly choked on the beer he was drinking at the mere thought of trying to talk to her.

"Dude, you're being pathetic," Inuyasha said. Miroku finally turned his way to glare at him, but Inuyasha merely scoffed at him. "Don't give me that look, you haven't heard a single word I've said, too busy in la la land thinking about Sango."

"And how long did it take for you to propose to Kagome?" Miroku tried to circumvent the conversation away from himself, but Inuyasha was far too stubborn to let Miroku off the hook.

"Nuh uh, don't even try and compare us, it's not the same thing and you know it."

"Inuyasha - "

"Look, we both know that Sango is going to end up being Kagome's maid of honor, and if I'm being honest, you're the only person I would trust to be my best man."

Miroku was taken aback by Inuyasha's statement. Being a best man….It was a role he didn't think he'd ever really get to play. He never let anyone in deep enough for their first thought of the person who would play a pivotal role in something as important as a wedding to be Miroku. Inuyasha refused to look at him now, obviously embarrassed at such a display of emotion.

"I...would be honored to be your best man, Inuyasha," Miroku said slowly, almost in a hushed whisper. This felt like such an intimate moment for them, and Miroku did not wish to share it with anyone who could easily eavesdrop on their conversation.

"Keh, whatever." Miroku wanted to chuckle at his abrupt change in demeanor. Perhaps this is why they could work so well as friends; while others might be put off by Inuyasha's rough temperament, Miroku was always able to let his constant mood swings slide right off his shoulders.

"Anyways, with that being said, you and Sango will have to see a lot of each other to help out with this damn wedding, and I need you with your best foot forward," Inuyasha stepped around him to grab two unopened beers from the fridge. He took the half empty drink currently in Miroku's hand and replaced them with the unopened beers.

"Don't fuck this up," was the last thing Inuyasha told him as he turned away from him to walk back towards Kagome, leaving Miroku to stand by himself in the kitchen holding two cold beer cans. The cans began to sweat from the change in temperature, causing Miroku to grip them tighter so that they wouldn't slide right out of his hands.

Miroku could feel his body start to perspire. He could only hope that the purple t-shirt he donned for tonight would be dark enough to hide the sweat stains that he was sure would start to show up under his arms. Miroku swallowed the lump in his throat, and after a deep inhale and exhale, started making his way across the apartment.

'Hello, my name is Miroku? And you are?' No, that's too forthcoming, he could be more suave then that. 'Ahh Sango. It's such a beautiful night out, would you care for a beverage?' Ugh, somehow that almost sounded worse than the first one. 'I love you, please bear my children!'

Miroku stopped just before the sliding glass doors and mentally slapped himself. He needed to keep his wits about him! Miroku was a handsome, cool guy; talking to a beautiful woman like Sango should be as normal as breathing. He could strike up a simple conversation with her, right?

For Inuyasha. And Kagome.

And for himself.

Miroku could feel and see the slight trembling of his hand as he used the two pointer fingers of his right hand to slide the door open. It was a cool night, and Miroku was greeted with a crisp breeze. He greedily inhaled the clean breeze that carried wafts of patchouli to his nose. Gods, she was his favourite scent.

Sango didn't seem to hear him enter the balcony, or at least if she did she had yet to make a move to see who was disturbing her peace.

'Oh god, what if she wants to be alone and I'm just here to annoy her?' 

Miroku shoved his negative thoughts aside, determined to give her a good impression of himself. He stretched his neck from one side to the other, cracking it a little to release some tension as he took that one last step towards her, his back straightened but not locked up, his head held high in an attempt to look calm and aloof.

And then he fell.

He fell. 

A weirdly high pitched yelp erupted from his throat as his feet twitched and scuffed across the cement floor of the balcony, pushing his body too far forward for his feet to catch. What sort of loser trips over his own feet? All he had to do was take one small step and he would have been golden. Instead, he was slowly tripping over his own two fucking feet, still keeping hold of the two beer cans, as if their presence was actually important in the grand scheme of things. The only thing that could have been worse would be to face plant right on her bountiful breasts.

Which he fucking did.

Miroku was sure he had never been so embarrassed in his entire life. It wasn't as if Miroku hadn't dreamt of this moment - nuzzling his nose in the warmth of her soft skin, peppering her bare chest with tiny butterfly kisses. But this wasn't a dream, it was reality, and Miroku's reality included him basically motorboating a woman who he didn't know personally and didn't know him on a very public apartment balcony.

'Just fucking kill me now…'

Miroku tried to lift himself up as quickly as he could. He really did, but for some reason he just couldn't let go of those damn beer cans. He clutched them as if they were his lifelines, putting more and more of his full weight on the woman under him. Luckily, due to all her training, Sango could probably lift two of Miroku, and was able to help steady him.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?!" She exclaimed, unfazed by where his head had been and more concerned about his own wellbeing. She had taken his face in both hands, trying to assess if he had taken any injuries.

"Uhhh…" Say something you fool! Miroku's head felt fuzzy with her face so close to his. He tried to tell her he was okay, perhaps impart a most fervent apology on landed directly on her chest, but he couldn't seem to form a coherent sentence no matter how hard he thought about it. He had never been so close to her to take in the gold flecks that made her cinnamon eyes sparkle, and he was quickly becoming lost in them. 

Instead, he belted out a cracked, "Beer?", still holding on to those damn cans.

Miroku hoped the ground would open up a portal to hell and drag him into it at this point. There was no way she'd want anything to do with him after this fiasco of a first encounter. Well, technically their second encounter. Either way, Miroku was fucked.

He thought that anyways, until he heard her chuckle, her lips turned up in a soft smile. She acted like he said something funny, not in a 'I'm laughing at you' way, but a 'wow you're funny' kind of way.

It was like music to his ears.

"A beer sounds good right now, thank you," she said, taking one of the beer cans out of his hands once he was steady on his feet. Miroku couldn't believe it, he was doing it! He was actually having a conversation with her! She wasn't rejecting him and accepted his offering of having a drink together! Even though he made a total fool of himself, nearly launching himself and the drinks off the balcony…..launching the drinks….The drinks….

THE DRINKS.

"Wait, Sango don't - "

It was too late. Miroku had been too far in his own thoughts to think about the fact that he had shaken up the carbonated alcoholic beverages quite a bit during his tumble, and Sango had already flipped the tab into the aluminum can. The next few seconds felt like forever, played in slow motion. The can let out a faint hiss before a small geyser of beer exploded upward, the can continuing to overflow with foam. Sango let out a small shriek, covering her face as best she could as she became drenched in beer.

Miroku stood there, still as a statue, as he watched streams of beer slowly trickle down her face. Their movements had a soft quality to it, as if they were caressing the soft lines of her cheek, gliding down the line of her nose and outlining her plump lips.

It was downright cruel how turned on he could get in a situation that was probably embarrassing for Sango. He should be doing something, like running inside to grab her a towel or asking her if she was okay. Instead, he was staring - no, leering - at her like some kind of pervert.

The thought was enough to break Miroku from his thoughts. He had a reputation for being a lecher amongst the ladies, but that was a persona he didn't want associated with Sango. After all, she wasn't just any woman; she was someone he could see spending his life with. Which he actively did.

He lurched forward slightly, still unsure of exactly what he should be doing for her, but unwilling to just stand there. There was a small table with a couple of chairs pushed to the right side of the balcony. Miroku threw the arm that held his own beer in that direction, intending on setting it down to cover all his attention on her. Unfortunately, he wasn't paying enough attention to the can to make sure it was set on the table properly. 

The can slipped from his hands, slowly making its descent, past the edge of the table, and straight for the ground. 

Miroku barely heard the plonk of the can hitting the ground, nor the hissing that came right before the can exploded, twirling along the ground at their feet, covering them both with the sticky liquid.

In a feat that would have made the soccer team at their high school proud, Miroku used the side of his foot to kick the can straight through a gap in the bars of the balcony. The can continued to spew beer through the air as it made its descent onto an unsuspecting car parked on the opposite side of the street, the sickening crunch of the can cracking the windshield echoing off the walls of the buildings on either side of the road.

He didn't know what would have been worse, letting the can continue to douse them with beer or vandalize an automobile. Either way, he only hoped some God would have pity on him and allow the Earth to swallow him whole. 

Of course, he could never be so lucky.

"Oh my...I am so sorry, let me get you a towel!" He said, spinning in place and practically barrelling through the sliding glass door.

It seemed like no one else in the apartment had any clue what transpired outside, too busy with the jovial nature of celebrating the engagement of two young people in love. It gave Miroku a small bit of relief, knowing that Sango was free from the embarrassment that came with the snickers and stares of being laughed at. 

It wasn't enough to steady his shaking hands as he began rummaging through Kagome's kitchen cupboards, trying to find something big and deep enough to fill with water. Three cupboards in, Miroku found a large mixing bowl and began filling it with water, searching through more drawers to find the kitchen towels, practically grabbing the whole stack once he found them. Once he had everything, he carefully made his way through the crowd of people. By now, he started to receive a few weird looks from anyone who bothered to look towards him as he passed by, but no one tried to stop him or ask about what he was doing.

He ignored it all in favor of the woman standing outside. She was fiddling with the ends of her blouse that now clung to her form from the stickiness of the beer. He awkwardly pinched his knuckle before reaching for the door in an attempt to keep his eyes looking anywhere but her body. This was absolutely not the time for his philandering ways to make this woman hate him more than she probably does already. He could see the small movements of her shoulders as she shivered when a quick breeze hit her, and any lecherous thoughts he might have had drifted away as guilt began to constrict his chest.

This was obviously a sign that they were never meant to be. How could a sophisticated and beautiful woman like Sango be interested in a schmuck like Miroku? The man couldn't even do something as simple as handing her a can of beer, how was he supposed to take care of her?

Not that she'd want him to take care of her, or needed anyone to do so. She was strong, and smart, and so fucking talented; she could do anything she set her mind to. Miroku could only hope to be even half the person she was, and a woman like Sango didn't mingle with people as lame as Miroku.

He carefully made his way through the back door, immediately set the bowl of water and towels onto the small table sitting off to the side and pulled the chair out for Sango to sit in.

"I-I brought a bowl of warm water and some towels to wipe the beer off with. Here, you can sit here. If you want to anyways, or you can stand if that makes you feel more comfortable or…." Miroku turned his body away from hers, grimacing as his tongue continued to word vomit in front of her. He couldn't believe he was still finding new ways to completely embarrass himself in front of her.

But instead of a stern glare or a heated comment about him, he was greeted with a small but warm chuckle.

"Thank you," she smiled at him, taking the offered seat and one of the dry towels, submerging it into the water and wringing it out.

He couldn't stop from staring at her, watching the way the muscles in her hands grew taut as she squeezed the towel, or the way a few errant droplets of water would cascade down her arms as she rubbed the towel into her skin.

She was truly gorgeous. The setting sun made her positively glow, her freshly cleaned skin gleaming when the light hit it just right. She sighed contentedly as she continued to wash away the sticky substance, paying extra attention to her face and chest. Miroku pulled up the other chair and fumbled with one of the dry towels, keeping himself too busy to notice the way she ran the damp towel over her collarbones. The towel wasn't squeezed out as much this time around, and it was almost painful for Miroku to watch as several small rivulets of water ran down her shirt, molding around the tops of her breasts.

The sound of the water splashing as she dunked the towel back in acted like a slap to the face, reminding him he needed to keep his eyes to himself. Instead, he submerged his own dry towel halfway so that he could wipe off his own beer soaked skin.

"You seem familiar,"

Miroku paused. Despite the fact they were both sitting together, he hasn't expected her to want to talk with him. It was a question disguised as a statement, one that he wasn't quite sure how to answer. Not in a way that wouldn't make him seem like a stalker, anyways.

"I believe we went to the same high school,"

"You went to Hiro High, too? What a small world," she chuckled as she continued to stare at him. Her eyes widened slightly as a thought seemed to pass by the forefront on her mind. "Wait...didn't we have a class together?"

'Several,' was the first response to come to mind, but he didn't want to make it seem like he was keeping any sort of tabs on her over the years.

"Yes, I believe so. That's where I recognized Kagome when we first met,"

Miroku could feel himself beginning to sweat under her vigilant gaze. 

"History,"

A confused look sprawled across his face. "Come again?"

"That's where I recognize you from. Freshman year. You were the kid that got to class almost as early as me,"

Miroku was stunned. They had shared a small handful of classes together over their high school years, but the one that stuck out the most for her was first period history during their freshman year? That was nearly ten years ago!

"Uhh….y-yes. With Mr. Myoga,"

"Sometimes, I don't know how we made it through that class," she laughed, remembering the long mornings of boring anecdotes and not enough energy to spare between the class.

"Well, someone as….aged, as Mr. Myoga had many stories to tell about the vibrant history of Japan," Miroku's lips curved up slightly. One of the benefits of being a flea youkai was living through each monumental event that made up the history of Japan. Although his method of teaching it was...lacking.

"He made the topic so boring! He preferred listening to the sound of his own voice more than actually teaching us about the subject. Honestly, it should be illegal to hold such a boring class that early in the morning."

"Fewer words could be truer," Miroku grinned, delighting in the easy smile that steadily grew on her face. She was so beautiful when she smiled. The edges of her lips almost seemed to touch the wrinkles around her eyes as she smiled, small dimples becoming noticeable on her cheeks as she talked.

It was obvious that Sango lived a very happy and joyous life.

"So, what's the story with you and Kagome? How'd you meet?"

Miroku never expected for Sango to take control of the conversation like she did. He expected that he would be the one to ask her a litany of dumb, intrusive questions about their friends engagement, the weather, or how her day had gone. And she would smile politely at him as he rambled, giving him simple, flat answers in an attempt to humor him.

Instead, she barrelled through, asking him a variety of simple 'get to know you' questions - What did you major in? Where do you work? What's your favorite color? Pepsi or Coke? - with the perfect opportunity for Miroku to turn the question back on her as soon as he answered. Perhaps she could sense how nervous he was around her. It was definitely easier than Miroku doing it all on his own, that's for sure.

It wasn't long before the both of them were laughing and joking around with each other. Part of him couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to Sango, although it wasn't a huge surprise. Miroku found practically every aspect of her life interesting and would gladly sit and converse with her for hours - eternity if she'd let him.

There was one thing he had to know; was she dating someone? It would be a devastating blow if she was, but after getting to know her for just a little bit, Miroku knew he needed her in his life. Even if he couldn't have her the way he truly wanted her.

Now all he needed to do was come up with a way to ask her that wasn't creepy or weird. Or intrusive.

'Just act….natural…'

"So, how have you and your date enjoyed the party so far?"

Nice. Smooth and natural.

"Oh, I didn't come here with anyone," she responded hesitantly.

"My apologies! I didn't mean to assume,"

"It's okay, I understand," Sango smiled, although it didn't shine through her eyes like before. She turned her attention to something off in the distance, wringing her hands together in her lap. Miroku suddenly felt a little selfish bringing the subject up at all.

"I hope I didn't upset you somehow. I swear on my father's grave that was never my intention,"

"What? Oh, no!" Sango turned back to him with wide eyes. "I didn't think that at all! It's just…" She looked away again, staring intently at her hands folded in her lap. "It's just...sort of a touchy subject for me right now. I've not had the best luck in the dating circuit,"

"Forgive me Sango, I have a hard time believing a woman as beautiful as you has a hard time getting anything she wants,"

Miroku's statement caused a pink blush to cover her cheeks.

"Yeah, well, that's just the problem, isn't it?" Sango mumbled. Miroku kept silent, watching the indecision flash across Sango's face, either caused by her deliberating her next words or whether or not she wanted to say something at all.

She looked up at him next, face still a little pink from embarrassment, yet she looked up at him with an air of determination. Her eyes were hard and resolute, but Miroku could see the tenderness behind it all.

"Most of the guys I've dated think I'm too assertive."

Miroku was unsurprised by this, but a part of him still had a hard time believing such a thing could be said about Sango. Her assertiveness was something to be cherished, not looked down upon.

"Sounds like most guys are just too insecure to handle you,"

Sango let out a small breath of laughter. "I'm sure they would all balk at the insinuation that they have crippling male egos. Much easier to dump me and go about their lives,"

"Well, that's just their loss, isn't it?"

Sango couldn't help but lock eyes with the mysterious man sitting next to her. She had heard that phrase before from a variety of people. It was always someone else's loss when she was kicked to the curb, and it always made her so angry whenever she heard it. It certainly never seemed like it was a loss to them; if anything, they acted better off. People usually said that to her in a veiled attempt to comfort her, knowing it was because of her own temperament that they left.  

Sango always had quite the mouth on her, and unless she could learn to tame it, no man would give her any time of day.

Yet, she didn't get the same vibes from Miroku. He seemed truly genuine when he said it was their loss. As if it was better for her to be her rude, straight to the point, brash self instead of the meek, silent woman in the background most men wanted her to be.

Sango was truly intrigued by this man.

She wasn't lying when she said she remembered him from their shared history class. Although, he had been more of a background character in the story of her life. She could recall them sharing a few classes over the years, and she had heard through the grapevine that he was sort of a ladies man, but they effectively went different ways after high school, and Sango pushed back any thoughts of him to the back of her mind.

Then one day, he was suddenly thrust back into her life via her best friend since forever, Kagome.

It was nice to know that Kagome had a friend she could talk to about her work. Sango was the dutiful best friend, always giving Kagome the time and attention she deserved as she talked about her day, but oftentimes Kagome would get caught up in the history of an artefact or a traditional dance, which was likely to go right over Sango's head. Miroku became a sort of conduit for Kagome's ramblings, saving Sango from having to pretend to be as knowledgeable about the subject as Kagome, or ask a million questions.

It was a friendship that blossomed over the years, as they do when Kagome is involved. Kagome's stories started to involve more of Miroku and less of work, eventually even adding Inuyasha to the mix. Yet, despite all the talk, Sango had yet to meet the famed 'Miroku'.

Kagome always said good things about him. He was quiet with an old soul. He had far more wisdom than most people his age and he never backed down at lending out a helping hand. A real gentleman.

Inuyasha's only helpful comments on the subject were that he was a 'lecherous monk'.

Which led to some confusing ideas about the man.

She still wasn't sure what to think about him. She could tell he was nervous; it was cute, the way he stuttered and rambled. And despite the rumors of him being a ladies man, he never seemed to ogle her or make her feel uncomfortable - despite literally landing his face in her chest. Their conversations so far had been easy and fun, something she really hadn't felt with another person in quite a long time.

Miroku was in heaven. He didn't think he could ever tire of talking to her, or listening to her talk about anything. She was funny, able to pull a joke out of the most basic of topics. And opinionated. Miroku was always up for a good debate, and he was sure Sango could give him a run for his money.

He didn't know how much time had passed as they stared at one another, probably only minutes yet it felt like hours. There was a heat developing between the two - not a smouldering heat, like the sun, that enveloped your whole body, but a soft warmth, like a candle, that started in the tips of the fingers, working its way slowly up the arms to take root in the chest. She just...looked him up and down with those wide cinnamon eyes, not in a lewd way, but with a sense that he was something new, something she had never seen before.

Once again, Miroku was stunned by her beauty. She truly was a goddess among mortals. Was it considered excessive the amount of times he obsessed over her looks? Possibly, but Miroku didn't care. Sango was a woman deserving of unbridled attention.

This was it. This was his in. He was gonna be confident and suave and somehow convince her to go on a date with him. He was going to use everything he learned from all the women he's been with and use it for good. For Sango.

"Sango, I - "

"Hey you two!" The raucous sounds of the party inside became louder as someone Miroku didn't recognize leaned their head outside. "It's time to toast the newly engaged couple!" And without another look back, they disappeared back inside, leaving the door wide open for them to follow.

Miroku could have screamed.

Why couldn't anything go right when it came to Sango? Their whole ambiance was ruined now. She was distracted by the party inside, and now there was even more of a chance someone will try and come outside.

"Well, I guess we should be getting back inside," Sango sighed, slowly pushing her chair back to stand up.

"Sango, wait!" Miroku leapt to his feet. He just needed one more minute with her! He didn't want this opportunity to go to waste. "I-I'd really like to see you again. Can..I..can I get your number? You know, we can...make plans or...something."

Well, it wasn't his best bit of courting, but it was better than being a coward and not talking to her, he supposed. And if she said no? At least he would have a definite answer.

She looked at him for another moment before giving him a soft smile. "I'd like that," she said, holding her hand out for his phone. 

Miroku scrambled for the device sitting in his front pocket, unlocking it and bringing up a 'New Contact' screen before holding it out to her with shaky hands. She tapped away, keeping the screen close to her face. She kept the phone to her face for a good amount of time, longer than she needed to if she was just putting her contact information. She pulled out her own phone from her pocket and waited for it to vibrate with a notification before closing out his own phone and handing it back to him.

"I'll see you around, Miroku?" Sango asked, so innocently yet Miroku we sure there was a layer of seduction there.

In a last ditch attempt to be anything but the loser he felt he had been all night, Miroku responded with confidence. "I look forward to it, my dear Sango,"

Sango departed after that, not before giving him a once over with her eyes and sporting what Miroku would describe as a 'devilish' grin.

That one look would carry Miroku into the next year, he was sure of it.

Miroku became deaf and blind when it came to the party inside, opening his phone back up and going straight to his messaging app. There would be time later for him to memorize her number - you know, just in case he accidentally lost it before they could set up a date - but he was curious to see what she texted to herself.

He expected to see 'Sango Tanaka' as the subject line, but was surprised to see a different name under the most recent message:

Slayer🍑😘

[Sent @ 6:15 PM] Next Friday, 7PM, Tanaka Dojo 📿

There was….much for Miroku to unpack here. The first of which was the nickname she gave herself. It was well known that the peach emoji was frequently used to represent one's derriere. Was her choice to use that particular emoji a coincidence, or was she privy to the fact that Miroku was indeed an ass man?

Especially when it came to Sango's gloriously toned and plump backside.

Miroku could have written an entire dissertation on why Sango chose that nickname if he had the time. Instead, he gravitated towards the message she sent herself. Normally people sent little one word messages, just enough to bridge the gap between cellular devices. Instead, it looked like Sango set up the details for their first date.

Their first date.

Just thinking those three little words left him feeling giddy, his heart pumping so heavily in his chest, Miroku could practically see the organ trying to rip itself from its fleshy prison. 

Miroku finally looked up from his phone and gazed inside at the party. Just like earlier, the crowd of guests inside parted in just the right way so that he had a perfect view of Sango. She was leaning backwards against the kitchen counter, cradling a slender glass of something bubbly - probably champagne. She was standing by herself, a gentle smile on her face as she watched everyone gather around the Kagome and a slightly nervous looking Inuyasha.

It was like looking at a freshly finished puzzle. Every piece meticulously placed in just the right way, resulting in a release of endorphins just by looking at the fruits of one's hard work.

Sango was his puzzle.

There were still a few pieces to put together here and there, but the hard part was over with. Now was the time for Miroku to take those few random puzzle pieces and finish his work of art.

A life with Sango.

Perhaps he was a tad crazy for having such strong emotions for this woman, but who was he to argue with the pounding of his heart whenever he saw her picture or the butterflies in his stomach whenever she spoke. If his feelings for her were wrong, then he didn't want to be right. He would show them all that Miroku Kibe and Sango Tanaka were meant to be together.

Miroku closed his phone and shoved it into his pocket, resolute in the path he was about to take. Despite the loud, raucous energy of the crowd inside, Miroku could feel several pairs of eyes on him as he made his way inside. Not too long ago, Miroku might have been put off by the interfering actions of his friends, but now he could only feel thankful for them. Thankful that they would let him share even a smidgen of their spotlight, even just between the three of them.

The sounds of the crowd, the eyes of his curious friends, he ignored them all in favor of the woman standing by herself in the kitchen as he walked towards the bar to grab his own glass of already poured champagne. Sango looked up in his direction as he approached and offered him a warm smile. Miroku simply smiled back, leaning back against the kitchen counter beside her. 

Sango deserved to have someone to stand by her - whether it be at the store or waiting for the bus, through bad times and good times, even at your best friends engagement party. And Miroku was going to be the one to do just that.

Because she was just the girl he had been looking for.

[bakubabes-tatakae]

Melting My Heart

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be in a taglist for this feel free to let me know! Happy to do it for anyone!

(Katsuki Bakugo x Reader)

Summary: The fireball with the attitude has one weakness, Y/N. When she’s the only thing that can break through his cold appearance around the other students, he starts to learn that being the best... isn’t the only thing out there.

AO3 Link

Part One

Word Count: 2920

As we sat in class, we were all bored out of our minds. Our teacher was going off on another lecture about our futures and what we should be doing with our lives. I watched the blonde haired, fireball that sat in front of me. Katsuki Bakugo. He was my biggest headache, but also, what felt like, the only person in my life I could trust. I had never known my father and my mother had kicked me out of the house a year ago. The only place I had had to go was the home of my boyfriend. His parents took me in without hesitation and I’d been there ever since. 

Katsuki was not only a fireball with his attitude, but also with his quirk. When we were kids and started to obtain them and learn to control them, we found that the fireball was lucky enough to have literal fireballs come from his hands. It was something that got him in trouble on more than one occasion. I, on the other hand, had Psionic Manipulation and the ability to erase a person’s quirk by simply looking at them. With my first quirk I can control things with my mind, whether it was people’s emotions or them themselves, or things around me, like making things levitate or break. An easy way to put it… I made things look like they could have been done by a ghost. 

I zoned the teacher out as I watched him. He was leaning back in his chair, feet on his desk. He had his head tilted back so he could see me, knowing that I was watching him. As we locked eyes the teacher spoke louder and broke us out of our trance. He may be a headache, but damn was he cute. 

“So… as third year students it’s time to start thinking seriously about your future and what you’re going to do with your lives. I could pass out some career aptitude tests,” he picked them up off the desk, “but why bother?” He took the pile and threw them all behind him. “I know you all want to go to the hero track.” The class broke out into cheers, except Katsuki, who kept a straight face. Everyone was suddenly using their quirk in some way or another, even though we weren’t supposed to on school grounds. “Yes, yes, you’ve all got some pretty good quirks, but no power usage allowed in school!” 

Suddenly Katuki spoke up. “Hey, Teach, don’t lump me in with this bunch of losers.” He reached his arm back and put it on my desk, putting it under my hand. “I’m the real deal, but these guys will be lucky to end up sidekicks to some busted d-lister.”

Now the class was just angry. Students were shouting at him. His arrogance was showing. “You think you’re better than us Katsuki!”

Katsuki leaned forward in his chair, taking his arm from my hands, his anger once again getting the best of him. “Let’s go, I’ll take you all on!”

 The teacher interrupted to try and stop what was going on and Katsuki leaned back in his chair again. “You’ve got impressive test results. Maybe you will get into UA High.” Mutterings started from all the students in the class again.

“That’s why it’s the only place worthy of me.” He leaned forward again and jumped up onto his desk, addressing the class now. “I aced all the mock tests, I’m the only one at this school, except maybe Y/N, who stands a chance at getting in.” He looked back at me and smiled before turning back around and smirking. “I’ll end up being more popular than All Might himself and be the richest hero of all time.” He balled his hand into a fist and put his arm up. “People all over the world will know who I am and it all starts with UA High!”

“Yea,” The teacher looked behind Katsuki and I to the little green haired kid behind us. We had known him all our lives and Katsuki and him had been good friends before his quirk turned him into a hot head. “Midoriya, don’t you wanna go to UA High too?”

The whole class stopped and Katsuki froze where he stood, not sure what to do next. Before he could even speak the whole class erupted into laughter. Izuku Midoriya was one of the very few kids in our school that had ended up not getting a quirk, so it was no wonder everyone was surprised he wanted to get into UA High. The kids were taunting him. “There’s no way you’re getting into the hero course without a quirk.”

Izuku began to fight back. “Actually, they got rid of that rule. I could be the first one!”

Katsuki was up and moving before I could grab him and say no. He formed a fireball in his hand and ran at Izuku, hitting him in the chest, sending him flying out of his chair. I stood up from my chair, it was my job to keep Katsuki in line as much as I was able to, something his parents were very grateful for. I grabbed his arm. “Kacchan, stop. I don’t want to use my quirk on you.”

He looked over at me with daggers and then back down at Izuku. “Listen up Deku, you’re even worse than the rest of these damn rejects you worthless wannabe. Do you really think they’d let someone like you in when they could have me?”

Izuku looked terrified. “No really, wait, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m not trying to compete against you.” He started to crawl backwards without looking and backed into the wall behind him.  “You gotta believe me.” He looked down at the floor. “It’s just that, I’ve wanted to be a hero since I was little. I may not have a quirk, but I can still try my hardest, can’t I?”

“You’d never be able to hang with the best of the best.” Fireballs were forming in his hands again. “You’d die in the exams. Defenseless Izuku, the school’s already crappy, you wanna embarrass it more by failing so hard.”

I stepped in front of him and raised my voice a little. “Katsuki, enough. I’m serious.”

When he heard me call him by his first name instead of Kacchan he put his hands down, he knew when I didn’t use his nickname that I was pissed. Katsuki looked around me and glared at Izuku before turning back around to head to his seat. Everyone started to go back to their own desks as well and I turned to Izuku, reaching my hand out to help him up.

He was hesitant. “Won’t Kacchan be mad that you’re helping me?”

I smiled at him. “Do I look like I care if Kacchan is mad at me Izuku?” 

Izuku reached out and took my hand, pulling himself up. “Thank you. I don’t know why he’s like this.”

“Neither do I Izuku, neither do I. I’m sorry about him, I try to keep him in line as much as I can.” I gave him an apologetic smile before turning and walking back to my seat. The piercing eyes of Katsuki Bakugou would be staring into my soul if they could. I smiled at him and watched his gaze grow even angrier. 

* * * * * * 

When class was over everyone started to file out, leaving just Izuku, Katsuki, his minions, and I. Katsuki walked over to Izuku again and I knew he was up to no good, especially if his lackeys were there to egg him on. He grabbed a notebook out of Izuku’s hand as he went to put it in his backpack. Seriously Katsuki? Can’t we just have one afternoon where we don’t start something and we go home? 

I walked over and his minions stepped in front of me, trying to stop me from getting to him. I glared at them both, but neither of them faltered. I could easily use my quirk on them to get them to move, but then I could be written up. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing Deku, but we’re not done.”

The minions started to taunt along with Katsuki. “Whatchu got? A diary?” When they read the cover they taunted more. “Don’t tell me you’re taking notes on how to become a hero.” They started to laugh. “That’s so pathetic.”

My facial expression changed and I could tell my eyes were small slits. “Would you guys just leave him alone?”

His minion with the long, brown hair looked over at me. “What’s the matter Y/N? Have a sweet spot for Deku?”

The short, black haired one laughed too. “Got a crush on poor little Midoriya.”

I saw Katsuki whip around to look at the two of them and I couldn’t tell whether he was mad at the two of them for trying to take digs at me, or mad at me for trying to stand up for Izuku. I put my hand up and a black circle of power began to form around it, something I had to do to levitate things. “Unless both of you wanna keep your feet on the ground and not get tossed out that window I would shut your mouths.” Katsuki smiled at me and turned back to Izuku, clearly not mad at me for standing up for him. 

Before I could say anything to him, fire came from Katsuki’s hand and burnt the notebook he was holding. Izuku let out a pained yelp and Katsuki threw the book out the window behind him, causing him to yell again. “Most first string heroes show potential early on. People look at them and just know that they’re destined for greatness. When Y/N and I are the only ones from this garbage junior high to get into UA people will be talking about us like that.” He swung his bag over his shoulder. “They’ll realize I’m legit. The next big thing. That’s not ego talking, I just know I’m good.”

I snorted a little. “Ego.” I didn’t mean to, but I sang it a little, causing Katsuki to grunt in anger at me.

He put his hand on Izuku’s shoulder and I could see the smoke coming from under his hand and saw Izuku’s face getting tense. I activated my quirk, I knew if I didn’t this would get worse. Katsuki raised his hand and turned his head to me before speaking. “Here’s a little word of advice nerd. Don’t even think of applying… or else.”

Katsuki turned around and began to walk out of the room, followed by his little puppy dogs. I gave Izuku an apologetic look before following him out of the room. Katsuki put his hand on the door and turned around while opening it. “You know, if you really wanna be a hero that bad there actually might be another way. Just pray that you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof of the building. “

I couldn’t believe the words I had just heard come out of his mouth. I slapped his arm and glared. Izuku turned away from the window where he had been staring at his notebook that had landed in a fountain to look at Katsuki. Katsuki taunted. “Something wrong?”

Before I could berate him he wrapped his arm around my waist and led me out the door, hoping I would just forget about it. 

* * * * * * 

His lackeys followed us as we continued toward home and my annoyance grew more. I felt like we never had any alone time unless we were off from school. His minions always followed us everywhere around school and always followed us home. I had never hidden my distaste for his friends and didn’t plan on hiding it. We had found our way into our favorite alleyway, a place Katsuki and I had gone to get away a lot before I moved in with him. There was no reason for us to sneak around anymore. 

The guys continued to talk as we walked down it, only stopping when Katsuki took his time to kick a bottle, spraying the contents all over. His minions were now grilling him. The short haired one was curious. “When you were little weren’t you and Midoriya good friends?”

The other long haired one spoke next. “Yea, you were a little harsh with him today.”

I was surprised to hear them agreeing. I never did this, but I agreed along with them. “You know I never agree with what these two idiots have to say, but they’re right Kacchan.”

“It’s his own fault for getting in my way.” Katsuki completely ignored the first question.

“You shouldn’t waste your time on the guy.” The long haired one once again was right.

Katsuki took the last sip from his soda can in his hands before crumpling it as he spoke. “Someone’s gotta teach that little twerp how the world really works.” He used his nitroglycerin in his hands and exploded the soda can, clearly angry. “I hate it when he talks about heroes.”

The guys were clearly bored just wandering around with us. “Hey, I've got an idea. Let’s go to the arcade.” The short haired boy smiled. “Get your mind off it, you know?”

“Fine.” Katsuki turned and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, kissing the side of my head, and we walked toward them.

The long haired guy spoke up. “Or we can sneak into the bar at the station, pick up some ladies.”

“Now that’s a good idea.” The short haired one smiled again.

Katsuki got tense. He knew that his minions had never liked me and every chance they had they tried to get him to stray from me. They thought I was just weighing him down. He got mad. “Idiots! If we get caught there’s no way UA would let us in.” He motioned toward me.

I turned to face him. “I’m gonna head home. I have a couple places I wanna stop before I get there. You guys go do whatever you wanna do, I’ll see you later.” I stood on my tip toes and kissed his lips. 

* * * * * * 

A few pit stops later I was headed toward our house, but as I got closer and closer in town there was commotion. Another villain was at it again, not something I wanted to have holding me up today.

As I walked I was stopped by the appearance of a hero. The hero Eraserhead stood before me. I gulped, wondering what I could have done wrong. He took a deep breath and began to speak. “Y/N Aizawa, we need to talk.”

I was shocked. How did this hero know my name? It took me a minute to speak. “How do you know who I am?”

He lifted his goggles, revealing his dark eyes. “My name is Shouta Aizawa.” He sighed. “I’m your father.”

I couldn’t speak, so he continued, trying to explain his situation. “I know this is sudden, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you this for a year. I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you where you’d believe me.” He took his wallet out of his pocket of his hero costume and pulled out a picture, handing it to me. It was a picture of him and my mother. He held her and she looked happy. “Your mother took off on me 17 years ago, she never gave me a reason and she never talked to me again.”

I swallowed hard and could feel my eyes welling up with tears. He started to move toward me and I backed away a little. 

“I promise I’m not lying. I didn’t even know about you until a year ago, I had heard that you had been kicked out of your mother’s house. A friend of mine was still friends with your mother, but he had never told me she had a child until he mentioned her kicking you out. I’m willing to do what it takes to prove this to you. I understand if you don’t want me in your life and I’ll completely respect that. I’m just hoping that you’ll give me some time to get to know you.”

Tears slid down my face. I had always wanted to know who my father was. I had no reason to not believe him, I knew in my head that I shouldn’t believe him, I knew that I should turn and run, but the fact that I could actually have someone in my life, as a parent, that seemed to care about me kept my feet grounded. 

Before he could say another word my feet were moving. I fell forward when I was close enough and buried my face into his chest. He was  a Pro Hero, I had no reason to fear him. He held me as I sobbed. 

I had dreamed about this moment for 16 years, I had never had a real father figure in my life. This was my chance. Shouta held me out at an arm’s length before wiping the tears from my face. “If you want me to be here, I’ll be here. I want to know my daughter, and I hope she wants to know me.”

I sobbed as I spoke. “Yes, please, don’t leave me.”

Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

Updated: 5/8/2020

[triggeringthehealing]

The Adventures Of Teen Werewolves In A Town Sitting On Top Of An Evil Tree Stump

Derek/Stiles | PG | 1811w | AO3

Summary: It’s been on Stiles’s mind for a while now, the fact that their experiences aren’t recorded anywhere for posteriority. It’s when they’re looking at the mementoes in the Hale vault that he decides to bring it up to Derek. 

A/N: Written for the @fullmoonficlet challenge: prompt #339 - record

"You know, I didn't realize that we never managed to put down all the shit we've been through into some sort of journal or diary, in all the years," Stiles says, shaking his head.

He's standing in the Hale vault that's still safely locked underneath the high school, still full of items from the family's history. The history that is now his too, in a tangential way. There are rows of shelves with all sorts of things on them, from mementos specific to some family members—he's pretty sure he saw a tiny basketball jersey at some point—to general items that were obviously important enough to be kept locked away. The same way that the tea that saved Malia, Scott, and Kira a while back was.

"Would you want to relive those things at some point?" Derek asks from across the vault, his tone incredulous.

"First of all, not all of it was bad," Stiles points out. "Second of all, we've encountered things that I feel would be worth having a record of, especially the parts about how to get rid of them.'

"Shitload of luck and a healthy dose of chance," Derek tells him with a snort. "With a few exceptions when we actually knew what we were doing. Most of those latter ones were also just humans fueled by anger-inducing irrational fear."

"Oh come on, Gerard would warrant an entire chapter all for himself," Stiles says.

He puts down the vial he's been staring at, right next to the tomes that he thinks are important documents, though maybe not quite as valuable as the bonds that were in a separate little safe and had been used to fund Peter's unintentional—or well, not deliberately conscious—deadpool scheme. Derek's already only a few steps away before Stiles starts moving toward him.

"But seriously, with the amount of crap that was thrown our way," he says, walking closer, "we really should put it all down on paper or something, for future generations."

"Are you expecting all those things to return?" Derek asks. "Because I honestly really hope none of them will, ever again."

"You know some of them will."

"Monroe is not that stupid, she won't set foot in California, let alone this town, again."

"Fair. But she does have minions who don't have such self-preservation. And I didn't mean the hunters either, I'm sure there's enough said about them in all the world's packs' records," Stiles tells Derek, reaching out to link their fingers. "I meant more things that go bump in the night. And not the fun kind of bump."

"So, what are we talking about? The Dread Doctors? Because we're several decades away from those being around again, provided someone who's currently human will decide to go down that route for immortality."

"No, I meant things like the Kanima," Stiles replies, his lips tugging into a smile. "We could absolutely get Jackson to help with that one, past and present."

"There's already all that information in the old Hale Bestiary," Derek points out. "Remember where we got it from when he was evolving? Into the creepy thing that I hope never to see again."

"But he didn't and I bet there's nothing in there about a Kanima becoming part werewolf. Or about the way its tail continues to be usable after that transformation," Stiles says with a grin.

"That face you're making is telling me that there are things I do not want to know about Jackson's tail. Ever. Not even if it would help in the future."

Stiles chuckles and tugs on Derek's hand, pulling him closer. He can feel the metal of the ring on Derek's finger against his hand and it makes his heart flutter, still. They've been married for over a year now and the thrill of it hasn't worn off yet. Stiles isn't sure it ever will.

"All I'm saying is, maybe it would be worth it to write it all down. There's stuff that's unbelievable enough that we could maybe disguise it as fiction, publish it as a book."

"The adventures of teen werewolves in a town sitting on top of an evil tree stump?" Derek suggests, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"That's a bit of a mouthful, but for all I know, it might just work."

"You might be on to something," Derek says then, his eyebrows scrunching.

"Really?"

Stiles can't help it, he's surprised that Derek seems to even remotely consider the idea. It isn't one that Stiles thought through, just something he said in the moment, his brain wandering off on a tangent. But it feels like it might be a way to preserve their experiences along with information that might potentially help not only Beacon Hills in the future but also packs around the world. It would definitely be easier to distribute a book that is presented as fiction than it has been trying to get hands on Bestiaries and other similar records of all things supernatural.

"No."

Derek shakes his head and Stiles's growing enthusiasm deflates like a flat tyre.

"There's no way you could put in all the information that you want to put in," Derek says, then holds up a finger when Stiles opens his mouth to protest, indicating that he's not done. "You'd need to have too much info dump and that doesn't make for good fiction. But I'll admit that no matter how much I don't want to go back through the memories of those years, we probably should at least add to the information that Peter already has in his laptop."

Stiles shakes off the disappointment about having his idea—one that he thought was kind of genius—shut down, because Derek agreeing to collect and record what they know is still a win.

"You still have Peter's laptop, right?'

Derek nods.

"Then we'll need to start looking through it."

"Right now?' Derek asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Not right this second, unless you have the laptop with you.."

"I don't. And we were down here for a reason," Derek points out.

"Right. Yeah. Reason."

Stiles steps closer and leans in to press his lips against Derek's.

"Would you like to go back to looking for my birth certificate? Or should we just forget about it?" Derek asks when he pulls away from the kiss a moment later.

"I would like to keep looking, yes," Stiles says. "We can't file for the adoption otherwise."

Because that's why they're here, in the vault, digging through piles of paperwork and—in Stiles's case—poking at all the treasures that generations of Hales left behind. They need Derek's birth certificate to apply for the adoption of Leah, a werewolf cub who found her way to them a few months ago, her pack decimated by hunters adjacent to Monroe's dwindling army. They've been taking care of her since, Stiles's father officially registered as a foster parent and in charge of her. But with multiple strings pulled and with Leah already attached to them both and to the pack, they want to make things official.

Derek is back across the room and looking for the necessary paperwork when Stiles gets an idea.

"Hey, Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I could try and take some of the stuff that we survived and make it into a story book anyway?"

"You're not reading stories about the Alpha pack or the Nogitsune to a three year old werewolf cub," Derek says firmly.

"I would not—“

"You would. But you won't."

Stiles wants to argue, but the urge only lasts a few seconds. After that, his mind comes up with all the possible results of retelling the Nogitsune events to Leah and he balks at the thought of not only traumatizing her with some of the parts but also inspiring her with some others. Her curiosity is off the charts as it is, she really doesn't need encouragement. Which is probably why Derek's putting an end to the idea before Stiles can even try to make it happen.

"I won't," Stiles says in a defeated tone.

"We'll have our hands full anyway, there's no reason to make it worse," Derek tells him, confirming that Stiles was right about his motivation. "But maybe you're right."

"Wait, what?" Stiles asks, surprised at that last addition.

"About recording things. Putting all the information together. Maybe even doing it the way you said we could," Derek tells him, looking almost like it hurts to admit that Stiles is right.

It's a tone and expression that Stiles has seen many times before, Derek grudgingly admitting that Stiles has a good point. It never fails to be satisfying.

"I get to write a book?" Stiles asks instead of openly gloating.

"We get to write a book. All of us," Derek says. "There are things that some of us know that others don't, so we'll need to work on it together. With everyone."

"Not Peter."

"Yes Peter. Seeing as there are things he’s been part of that no one else was. Also your dad."

Stiles cringes but nods. There's no one person who has all the information that he wants to write down, no single member of the pack who would know everything exactly the way it happened.

"You're right."

"I am," Derek says with a grin and he turns to a folder with what looks like paperwork that's on a shelf right next to them. "I also found what we were looking for," he adds as he reaches for the folder and flips it open.

"Yeah?"

Derek turns a few pages, then triumphantly pulls out one of the sheets in there.

"Derek S--"

"No."

"Come on, you know my first name."

"And I don't know your middle name. So you're not reading mine," Derek says, holding the printed side of the certificate out of Stiles's line of sight.

"Genim," Stiles says easily. "That's the easy one. Now can I see?'

"No."

"Derek."

"Stiles."

"Is that your middle name? Because that would be weird," Stiles says, grinning when Derek levels him with a glare.

"I'll tell you when Leah's adoption is complete, how's that?" Derek offers.

Stiles nods because he can wait that long. Maybe if he's lucky he'll even get to see the documents before that, so it's a win either way. He's already won one thing today, the fact that they'll write down all the things that happened in their lives up to this point. He hasn't said it, but part of why he wanted to was so the future generations would have a record that would be easy to find, notes on all the possible dangers they could face.

So that when Leah will grow up, she'll be better prepared for the world than he was. When Derek reaches for his hand and links their fingers, Stiles figures that maybe he gets it too.

[bisexualskeletonsinmycloset]

Chewtoy

Chapter 5- Reminiscing

X sighed dramatically and threw herself on her bed. After a few minutes of wallowing in self-pity, she sat up. “I’m being stupid and dramatic, aren’t I Chewtoy? I can deal with this! I’ve been through law school for goodness sake. Nothing can be worse than that.” X gave herself a pep talk.

“Now to find her. Where do I go? Going back to the same lair would be futile. She’s probably vacated that for good.” X pondered.

X’s cheeks coloured, remembering how she had given The Enchantress her address. “How stupid of me to think she would actually come!”

“Chewtoy, what do you think I should do? Trying to find her on my own will be like a blind chicken pecking at grain!”

***

The Enchantress growled in frustration. She hadn’t been able to shake off the uncomfortable feeling that had come over her since she drove off from her ex’s place. This was so unlike her. Pull yourself together, she told herself sharply. He would have gotten out of those cuffs. He should have, right? Right? She felt a touch of remorse and wondered if she should check in on him.

No, she told herself firmly, he would have found a way out. She knew she would have but this was the same ex who constantly needed her rescuing on his ‘missions’. She rolled her eyes in disdain.

Childish as he was, she did have a great time last night. If there was one thing he was good at, it was turning her on. She thought back to the previous night. His delectable moans as he ate her out. His whimpering as she took him close to orgasm. Her mind drifted to the feverish sex she had had with that hero. There was no denying their mutual attraction. I wonder if we’ll ever cross paths again, she mused.

“I need a break from all of this,” she decided. She picked up her phone and rang her mom up. “Hi mom, can I come home today?”. A squeal of motherly delight answered her question.

Her parents owned a quaint little farm on the outskirts of town, a good three-hour drive away. Packing a change of clothes, she locked up her place and set out. A familiar wave of guilt washed over her. Her adoring parents had no idea who their darling daughter was. They thought she was a journalist, and an excellent one at that. Once in a while, she dashed off an article to a newspaper or magazine, to keep up her ruse.

***

X turned over various possibilities in her head, thoughtfully stroking Chewtoy under his chin. She discarded each idea with an audible grunt of frustration. Suddenly, her eyes lit up. “Rather unconventional, but this ought to work,” she said, eyes sparkling.

“What? Don’t give me that look, Chewtoy,” she protested. She had just signed herself up on a dating app. “I mean, she’s single. At least I think she is. So she has to be getting it somewhere.”

***

The Enchantress parked her car as an inquisitive chicken came up to investigate. She hopped out and shooed it away. The chicken clucked indignantly at the blatant disrespect and ruffled its feathers. Amused, she set out towards the house with a smile on her lips.

Her mother enthusiastically threw open the door at the first ring and gathered her up in her arms. “Aw sweetie, I’ve missed you! You really ought to visit home more often.”

“I missed you too mom,” smiled The Enchantress, “It’s just that I’ve been a bit busy.”

“How’s work, darling? Still leaving the editors flabbergasted with your marvellous writing?” asked her dad proudly, enveloping her in a bear hug.

“Um, yeah dad,” she said embarrassed.

“Where’s that boyfriend of yours? Some grandkids would be nice,” mom wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at The Enchantress.

“Mom! I told you we broke up,” groaned The Enchantress. By rule, she never dated. She only did hook-ups. Her ex had started off as a hook-up which turned into another and then another. Until he was bawling in her arms that everyone he loved left him, so she couldn’t just cut it off then. A lapse in judgement she would never repeat.

“Is there someone else?” dad asked conspiratively.

“Nope. I’ve sworn off dating for a while.”

Sighing in dismay, mom ushered her into her room. “Look what I found. It’s your diary from ages ago!”

“Did you read it?” panicked The Enchantress.

“I would never!” said mom indignantly. “Should be an interesting read for you though. You went through quite a phase,” she laughed.

Curling up on her bed, The Enchantress turned the first page of the diary she had kept during high school. Suddenly remembering, she flipped to the end. She used to keep odds and ends from various dates as mementos, secretly tucked away in her diary. She began looking through them and reminiscing.

She tenderly touched the first one. A lovely pressed rose. She pictured her first boyfriend shyly handing her the rose on their first date. She smiled fondly as she remembered his floppy hair he couldn’t keep out of his eyes, his goofy grin and long lashes. And the way he would sneak up behind her and envelop her in hugs. He was adorable.

She flipped through the next couple. A blur of pressed flowers and movie stubs until she came across a folded-up piece of paper. Her tummy did an involuntary flip as she slowly unfolded it. She knew what that was alright.

She flushed as it all came back to her. It was during her 12th grade when a girl caught her eye, leaving her both confused and incredibly turned on. She remembered her vividly. Her tousled hair hiding her undercut, her ever present smirk, her ‘I know I’m hot’ attitude. Later she would learn she was ‘butch’. After she finally came to terms with her attraction to girls, things got hot and steamy between them.

She would pass her notes in class, which would leave her flustered and squirming in her seat. Her breath hitched as she read the first of many notes.

“I know you’re actually paying attention to class like the goody two shoes that you are. Too bad, I’m not. Want to know what I’m doing? I’m thinking of you. You dressed in nothing but that shirt you’re wearing. Unbuttoned all the way down with nothing underneath. You know what I’ll do then? I’ll pin you against the wall and trail kisses all over you. Leave hickeys on your neck. Suck your hard nipples till you can’t take it anymore and beg me to fuck you already. And you’ll be wet. Dripping wet. I can see you squirming in your seat already. Too bad you can’t concentrate anymore.”

The Enchantress remember dragging her girlfriend out of class after that and making her do exactly what she said she would, in a bathroom cubicle. She felt a familiar tingling between her legs and read the second note.

“Want to know what we’ll do after class? We’ll go over to my place. My parents are out and we have the whole place to ourselves. Like the sound of that, don’t you? And then we’ll watch a movie. Or you will try to watch it while I distract you. With my mouth trailing lower and lower till you give up. And then I’m going to stop and watch the movie while you get frustrated. But you love it when I tease you, don’t you? And then I’ll proceed to fuck you over every horizontal surface in the house. Now don’t flood your panties, you’ve got to wait till after class.”

The Enchantress let out a muffled moan. Her hands slipped into her pants as she frantically unfolded the next note.

“Lend me a pen, will you? And while you hunt for one, I want you to think of how I will thank you for it. With my tongue. On your clit. Pulling away when you’re close. You know how I love teasing you. I love listening to your moans. And I’ll do it again, and again, till you’ve soaked the bedsheets with your arousal. And then I’ll let you come. Remember when you said you’ve never squirted? I’m going to change that today.”

The Enchantress blushed. She had squirted for the first time that day. Multiple times at that. Shuddering, she climaxed, quickly pulling her hands out of her pants and plastering on a smile as her mom poked her head around the door. “Lunch is ready, sweetie. Come set the table.”

[mariandacalos]

Quarantine Diary: An update you did not ask for

Living through a pandemic is a big challenge that we have to face. Especially for people who are not fortunate enough to deal with this whole thing. I, myself, too is struggling. I struggle a lot in my academics, physical, and mental health. It is not easy and it will never be easy.

It's been a while since the last time I posted something. I've been losing my desire in writing, to be honest. It's sad but I am trying myself to get back to it. I know not everyone will read this so I want this post to be personal and for the record, this will be the first personal post that you will be reading here on my blog. I will talk about the things that happened in me since the quarantine started and how it affected me and the things around me.

I did a lot of writings during this quarantine but I kept them in the drafts or on my finder folders. All of it did not even get close to 'finish' which I find frustrating because when I was still in elementary and high school, I always write... about everything. Just give me a word and I will write my thoughts about it. All habits die hard, true, but that doesn't change the fact that eventually, it will die and turn into obscurity.

The first thing that I am struggling with right now is my academics. The university I enrolled in is not considering the mental health–the health in general of their students. Online classes were pushed through and it is not working because not everyone is privileged. Not everyone can afford a laptop, a computer, and an internet connection. Plus, this is the Philippines where internet connection is shitty. I am sometimes late in submissions because of the connection, good thing some professors are considerate but some are just... entitled. I am taking up fine arts and this course requires a lot of plates since it is both lecture and skill-based. I hate the fact that some professors are still pushing the idea of doing plates at home. Most of the students in our class including me don't have any materials because we left it on our dorms and we are now in our respective home towns.

Tang ina, ang hirap. Ang hirap basta walang pake ang Gobyerno at ang Presidente. Tang ina. Ang hirap, ang hirap maging mahirap.

I am also struggling with my mental health. These days, the voices inside my head were so loud, and they are even louder at night. I've been sleeping late, 3 AM or worse 6 AM. I can't sleep because obviously, sleep requires peace and I am not close to getting that. It is affecting my health because I wake up late. 2 PM is the new morning and dinner is the new lunch for me. I never wanted any of this but we are living though a pandemic and my mind kept on thinking about every single thing. From how shitty our Government in dealing with this pandemic down to how shitty our school is because they value more the scientia over virtus and devotio.

I by the way joined mass organization this month. I'm one of the creatives of STAND where we fight not just for the students' rights but the rights for everyone. We are currently in a battle with our school admin. We keep on writing letter and making pubmats to them. I am assigned into making pubmats and It feels good. You know, doing something that I am good at to fight for the betterment of everyone. Using my talent for a good cause. I am also the newly elected International Director of Rotaract USC Cebu, and we are having our regular meetings, it's been hard since we cannot go out (most of our programs needs social interaction btw) and we have to work of something that we have at home hence, the online meeting, online postings, etc. It's good to know that I am not completely useless, that I have a contribution, at least in my little ways.

Too much negativity eh? Let's talk about how I am coping up despite all of this unwanted things that is happening. I will not lie, I've been living a very unhealthy lifestyle since the quarantine started. I sleep late, I wake up late, I eat unhealthy foods, and I eat late. Although it is working for me and my body is not yet suffering the consequences of my unhealthy lifestyle, I want to break it and slowly by slowly redirect my path to the right one. And if you, the one who is reading is also experiencing the same thing, you're with me! I'm with you! we gonna be better soon.

I always try to not stay in my room during the day because when I do, I just sleep or binge watch series which is bad because I sometimes forget to eat. I'm the type of person whose bothered when there is nothing to do. It just gives me time to contemplate unnecessary thoughts and fight those loud voices in my head to one of the coping mechanism that works for me is organizing and cleaning out things. I love organizing stuff! from folding clothes, to washing the dishes with a new dishwashing foam and bubbly dishwashing liquid, arranging my books, basically anything about organizing. It just gives me this certain satisfaction that I do not get from doing other things. Well, it sometimes can be my downside because I tend to over work myself.. geez. I love working okay.

I am also trying out different kind of recipes (snacks and beverages). I had a lot of fun and my tummy is also happy, so are the tummy of the people surrounding me.

I'm doing a lot of digital arts lately, it's a good thing because I get to hone my skills in illutrating stuff digitally. The routine is to finish a good series (because I do consider the color grading of the film, the casting, production, the ost, typeface used, basically everything) then make a fan art out of it. Sometimes, I sketch on paper, scan it then render it digitally which is fun and liberating because I do not have to follow a guide sheet like our classes lol.

Looking back, I don't think it's entirely unproductive. It's unhealthy sure, but I think I did things that falls into the 'productive' list.

Please do not be pressured if people around you and what you see in social media is all doing productive things, or doing workouts/exercise. Remember that we are living through a pandemic and this is not some sort of vacation or summer break. This is a quarantine thing and you should look after yourself. You should do things that can help you get through and calm. Be easy on yourself and take all of the time you have to be stable. Find the coping mechanism that works for you.

Remember that everything in this world is temporary, even change. This season in our life will pass and I hope that It will serve as a lesson for us to do better next time. To be more responsible citizen. To wisely choose a government, to enroll into an institution that cares for us, to support a brand that cares and give back, to give appreciation to both front and back liners. To be a good citizen.

Wow that was a long rant-slash-thoughts, if you get 'til here, thank you for listening. I do not have anyone to talk to about my sentiments so I thought of posting it here. If it not too much to ask for, message me on my ask box if you've read all of this and let's talk (you can go anonymous). :)

Marian

[adiityav]

End of the Intro Trilogy from Diaries of a Ghost

You got two options now. You either are going to take the easy way out you are going to run away from that damned hell of hours that you only set for yourself. Which one is it because time is ticking and you don’t have much time to waste. Or any time more at all. You might be thinking you choose your own path to make it seem everything is alright but by the end, you come down to this as you do every single day. Which one is it, you aren’t going to be let go until you pick an answer chained in that very seat you wasted hours in. Every single day, every single moment, it’s torture. Do you remember when there was a good time in your life when you were truly innocent, it really must have been the life but that changed quickly for you. If you go die, it’s only going to prove the statistics, you go run away, you know they won’t look for long and you will be back right here in your chair in the very hell you created. Only God can save you now because every single beating you took and every single phrase that you said led to this point. You thought back of fighting back. You led an establishment in your head that they won’t listen to you quiet or loud. They mess with your head. They bully you. They are both delusional and psychotic. You only got two options now. Imagine how nice it would be to not go anywhere and then waiting in the corner just to beat you up. Take every single relationship you have and throw it down the drain. Every word they state is only one part of the big picture. What they haven’t realized is you only pushed yourself harder or so you think. No matter how hard you try they will always be better and no matter what you do they will know how to take you down, again and again, one step ahead. They mess with your head. First, it’s the shell. Then they get to your head with the holes they beat inside of you. Every single moment of your life was you fighting back. You wanted to fight back physically but it only made it worse for you. You couldn’t will yourself to hurt another, could you? I am only sitting in the very chair you will use to help satiate that one truth in your head. The one that you spent countless lifetimes trying to convince people it was alright. Trying to convince people nothing is happening. Trying to convince people... enough of that.

 I don’t see you speaking too much anymore. You’ve given up. Accepted life was just one task done over and over again. You live the next day. You don’t look for another but you manage that. You gave up lying to yourself. But you put that facade another day. And the next... and the next... I think you are done now. Once you lose that mask, the world will see you for who you are. Someone who will end up in the morgue the next day or the next. You are scared, aren’t you? You don’t want anyone to know how you are and how you feel. You keep lying. You know you messed up. Every single step you take. Every single person that you met. You messed up their lives as well now. You're in the doorway. Drop the mask and never find someone to love. Drop the mask and never feel anything. Drop the fucking mask, and you can’t go back. Drop that mask you won’t be you anymore. Drop the mask... I can’t anymore. Who are you and who is I. It’s the same person one and all. Is it time for you yet? Do you think you kept it in yourself long enough? Are you going to will yourself to walk life without any emotion? Stop crying. I hurt myself for far too long. This same voice is the one that helps you read. This same voice is the one that imagines for you. This same voice is who you are. If you do end up dying and no matter how sad you are, please live for another day. I understand how you feel. I beat myself constantly and hate myself. I only set motion everything that was part of the past and kept it replaying in my head again and again until it eats you out like a parasite. Now, look at you. Look at yourself. Fake smile. What’s next. Laughing is something that is real I guess. Fake, every single thing people know or think about you is fake. Because the moment you met them, you were lying. You aren’t happy and truthful and positive. That’s only what you wanted yourself to believe and them. You and I know that we both can’t keep doing this. I am going to sit down now. Going to cry a bit. Maybe take a couple of pills like I usually did and break my streak of pill sobriety. You weren’t happy. You won’t be. Every single thing that gets close only pushes them further away because of me. Your own head fighting it’s self. Your own mind. Your own thoughts and feelings. It kills you such as one getting stabbed. You never wanted to cut yourself because there wasn’t a point for it. I either hate myself to go full out or suffer longer but perhaps cutting myself was really alright to make sure I felt that pain of everyone I hurt and everyone I did wrong. Cutting is better than these pills meant for medication that you abused. I don’t know. You are tired every single moment of your life because I am here like a virus. It got to your thoughts and tries to get to your brain. You never wanted to turn out numb like this. You never wanted to show someone the truth of you. You are the ghost. You sit here watching life as a movie only here for the ride. The third installment for the diaries of a ghost beginning was to show what you really are to the world. You write these stories you convey how you feel and what you think and what you go through. I think it’s time soon. You have been like this for a long time. I think there are now only two answers for you now. Suffer or die.

Writer’s Note

I debated whether to release this or not because well it confirms it for some people and well for others it’s I think something they didn’t know. The fact that it did start questioning me for others was me noticing that they can tell I put on a mask or that “fake” in me. I don’t look for pity nor do I wish to be talked about constantly because I am the same person you have always known mask or not. I have been depressed for quite some time and this year has been the worst for me and the people around me. Depression is a lack of dopamine which causes a chain reaction effect leading into a lack of serotonin which is main mood regulator and then lack of oxytocin removed the love to certain things that you feel whether that be another or a memory or something of that sort. Perhaps you may know more than what I know if you took Psychology. Depression isn’t something where you are sad one day and happy the next and caused by life events unless you have Bipolar or Manic. It’s constant and prevalent in each person’s daily life. They choose how to get over that constant sadness with a distraction and this is something that can be good or bad. Pill popping, drugs, alcohol, self-harm. But there are always good ones as well, helping people was one I did for 3 years straight and it did help a little by accepting what was happening to me and using those feelings to help guide and promote other people to make them feel good. That feeling that you get from helping others did feel good. But like any other distraction, I don’t know if it’s me getting worse or the tolerance of it which led me to get worse is where it hit this year. This past couple of months led me to go get help after a close friend of mine urged me to go get help and I have been doing quite so. I think I don’t know where I would be without them and I know they are probably reading this and there is my sense of gratitude for them. I kept this a secret because I was afraid of people figuring out. I was afraid of what they will say and what will happen to me. I was afraid what their depiction of me to sort of state. Except for its high school year and in 2 more years college and that appals me. That is two more years, it’s only a short time. I am opening out like stated before I don’t want to be pitied, people who come out for anything and are pitied to make them feel good but I don’t need that. I am talking about this because for people who are like me, this is really to you. I have honestly no idea of what you went through and why you are like this. There can be so many reasons as to why you came out like that and I can’t signify or list the number of reasons and perhaps choose one in particular. If you think you can manage it, you can do so, but the moment you feel like it’s not working I highly advise you to get help. Or if you can’t manage it right now, people say this all the time but just talk to me in any way. Via text or in person if you know me. Even if you saw me or met me once I don’t care. I went online for a while, I have seen people around the world left and right and I help them out under a different persona of mine. I barely know half the people I talk to because that is the beauty and nature of the internet. Though talking online to random people if they are down is extremely risky so in hindsight, I don’t recommend it. In all, I did this for people to see me for who I am because I don’t want people to know me for my facade. I will still keep up the facade and over a couple of months and this might get better for me like how it has before. Now I guess I have said more than enough so I will leave this up to you. Just know that life doesn’t need to end so quick none the less of pain.  I thank you all for everything and since the intro trilogy is now done and one secret over I think we are good for another maintained release of story collections ;). Stay tuned.

[a-functional-lowlife-blog]

8.11.19

So I’ve never really utilized anything other than a diary to jot down my daily feels, but something tells me I might find some comfort knowing that nobody can sneak into my room and read my journal. Tumblr seems like a good enough void to dump these thoughts into. Maybe it’s my psyche craving a positive outlet.. Id rather this be private, but sometimes connections supposed to help, right?  If topics of abuse, death, suicide, or depression trigger you, please do not continue reading. So I guess, let’s start from the top.

I’m 2X years old, & I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing with my life right now. I’m a gamer, & employed, But it’s not like I”m pursuing some great dream. I’m kind of coasting through life, trading experiences for fragments of myself. But I’m honestly rather content, at the moment. I make decent enough money. I can afford to shelter myself, feed myself, & entertain myself. So to some people, yeah it might look like i’ve had it pretty easy. In some ways, I have; in others, not really. 

It was just me & my mom growing up. Dad wasn’t around, & i don’t really want to get into that right now. My mom did everything she could for me. And I, of course being a growing hormonal boy, never truly appreciated it until I got into the real world. Thanks mom. She low-key prepared me for almost anything. I graduated high school, no special titles or accolades, but I could hear her screaming well above the entire stadium of parents when they called my name. I hope I can make her that proud again someday. I haven’t seen her in almost 4 years. Life can be a bitch like that once you’re an actual adult.

Since graduating high school, I’ve fathered a child, a little girl, who continues to blow my mind every day, with her brains & beauty. Damn, my ugly mug made one amazing little girl. Everything I do, I do for her. Even when it doesn’t seem like it. The mother & I are still on fantastic terms, but we separated a couple years after the birth. It just didn’t work as a healthy relationship anymore, & our daughter deserved better than that. 

After we parted ways, I got myself tangled up with a girl that, in hindsight, I should have never said hello to. Now don’t get me wrong, the first 2 years were truly magical. She was young, beautiful, petite body, alternative with piercings & tattoos. Which was basically me, young, rather handsome, fit body, alternative with piercings and tattoos. A match, it would seem, made in heaven. She made me feel alive again. She reinvigorated me to my soul, showed me new experiences I never could have imagined, or dared to do otherwise. I felt happy. Which for me, is a rather fleeting bird, one that’s typically driven away by the raven. It was just like a fairy-tale. We all know those aren’t real. I should have seen the warning signs. The “red flags��� that everyone says I ignored. But red flags look like regular flags when looking through rose-tinted glass. If you’ve stumbled upon this by chance, & are triggered by abuse, or suicide, I suggest you stop reading now. 

It started out with little things. Roast-like insults, but sometimes they hurt a little more than they should. Which, obviously, led my mind to tell me “stop being so sensitive.” I’d let it slide. As we approached the 2 year mark, it started getting nastier. Her patience with me was very thin. The smallest error, like I forgot to pick up soda on the way home from my 10 hour shift once, led to me being belittled with insults to my intelligence & even attacks on my dedication to her. It only got worse as time went on. I silently cried myself to sleep most nights. My self-esteem was in an entirely different dimension by this point. I’ve become completely submissive to her. I looked at myself in the mirror one night, after doing things that I regret doing, and being disgusted in myself for letting it get so bad. For never stepping back up & standing my ground. I got us through homelessness. I had helped her get help because she had a severe mental illness that I will not put here. Her every wish, within my power, was my command. Why should I tolerate being treated like something stuck to the bottom of her shoe when kindness didn’t suit her?  So I did. That was the first time she hit me. Just once, open palmed to my left temple.

It didn’t stop. It got worse. I will not go into details, because almost 3 years later, I still panic when I try to think about those months. Most of my friends & family do not know how bad it got. And those that do, do not even know who she even was. It collapsed faster when I started to dissociate after multiple (thankfully) failed suicide attempts. I started cheating, trying to get her to leave me, since she wouldn’t allow me to leave her without threatening to kill herself. “You’re my soulmate, I won’t live without you.” She kept me in that state of submissive fear for another year, using the same lines. Using the same deflection tactics to make me question myself. All while calling me her “soul mate”. I hate that fucking word now. 

But I did finally get the courage to leave. In the middle of the night, a train ride back to my hometown. She tried to work back into my life a few times over the next 2 years. I eventually stopped talking to her, because she would always try to convince me to come back to her, that it can be different, that she’s willing to start over. So I stopped talking to her last year. And now, I can’t anymore, because last month, she killed herself. I honestly never stopped loving her. I can feel the hole where her energy used to be, the bits she contributed to my soul, snuffed out.. I blame myself for her suicide. And I hate that I fell in love with such a beautiful, toxic soul.

We can skip over the few fling relationships I held while in my hometown, except for one girl, who I will forever thank for showing me what a true loving, healthy relationship, based on trust and open communication can actually be like. We got into it knowing we were on a time limit, because I was already in the process of saving up to move again, this time, 3,000 miles away. But we had good chemistry, and I think the relationship was the perfect amount of time for both of us. She’s a LoZ girl. Major fan. As in, owns every game, tons of merch, follows tons of streamers on Twitch who play Legend of Zelda, especially if it’s Ocarina of Time. Coastal gamer girl is probably the best description of her. She’s still one of my best friends, & I talk to her on occasion. She’s super happy, and living a rather adventurous life. I’m super happy for her. 

Our fateful day came, and I had to move away. She comforted me during the entire packing process. Which literally filled 2 boxes I shipped to my new address, my military backpack, & a laptop case. It still resulted in 8 hours of back to back anxiety attacks. I only knew TWO people in the town where I was moving to. One of them, I had never physically met before in our entire 14 year friendship. So, rightfully, I was terrified to leave. I’d reconnected with old friends in my hometown. I’d met an amazing girl in my hometown. I’d landed a really fantastic job in the medical field in my hometown. What was I thinking?! Leave all of THIS?!

But I knew why. She knew why. Everyone in my life knew why. The answer was simple. Yeah, I had a good job, a good girl, & a relatively good life. But I wasn’t truly happy. In my soul. Just as I was in the states I’ve lived before. And that was okay. We had the perfect amount of happiness.

So here I am, in an undisclosed new location, three-thousand miles away from my hometown. And honestly, I’m happier here than I’ve ever been anywhere else. Do I see myself dying here? No, not really. But I could kick it here for a decade or so, if the fates allow my life that long? Sure. The best friend I’d never met before, is just as amazing in person. We play video games together now & then, and go out to the downtown bar scene sometimes for karaoke. There’s 3 roommates total. I enjoy being their roommate. Also, there’s 4 cats. who I absolutely love, and will contemplate posting their pictures here too, for memories sake.

I’ve made some really amazing friends, especially one girl in particular. She’s been very good to me, in many ways. Dinners, events, concerts, party weekend for my last birthday to pass. All while both of us just have a blast around each other. She’s helped me alot these last few months, everything from food to rent, while I struggled to find work, & get on my own two feet. I struggled for 5 months before I landed myself where I am now. So to celebrate, she & I went and got tattoos today.

I got a tattoo of the chemical structure of serotonin on my wrist. To remind myself to be happy, because I’ve already spent so much time being sad. And that I’m going to keep making myself happier, by staying true to myself, learning & growing from the events I’ve been through in my life, both good and bad. Creative, & destructive. Because it’s all molded me into who I am now.

So really without getting into childhood stories, high school shenanigans, & college hijinx, that’s the story of Z. A recent handle I’ve taken to lately, in case someone does decide to read this. I’d like to add to this little... off-site journal once a week, maybe more often.

That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m sufficiently stoned now, & would like to return to playing Apex Legends.

Signing off, 

Z

[tuanyiems]

Wingman

Character: Got7 Bambam; High school AU! Genre: Fluff Word count: ~3500 [Masterlist] Plot: Your best friend(/long time crush) asks you  if it’s okay to pursue your sister and instead of saying no you decide to be his wingman a/n: It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, but my semester is officially over so more will be on its way~ c: - When you first met Bambam he was doing the whip in the middle of the cafeteria, effectively earning him an ear pull from a very annoyed English teacher. With an eye roll and swift toss of the arm, Bambam was sent forcefully onto the seat across from yours. With a smooth dab and wink for good measure, he succeeded in breaking a giggle out of you. In fact, you laughed so much the strawberry milk you were drinking shot straight out of your nose. To put it simply, it was love at first sight. At least, it was for you.

So when Bambam sat across from you during lunch that Monday afternoon, you thought nothing of it except that he was your best friend and you wouldn’t trade this mundane moment for anything else in the world. Except it wasn’t like any other day. You realized this as soon as he spoke. “Hey,” he said, looking at you as you were in the middle of biting into your burrito. And it sent chills down your spine. But no, this time it wasn’t because of your little crush. This was a scary chill. You could feel it in the way he couldn’t look you straight in the eye, in the way his fingers rubbed against each other nervously, in the flush of pink across his cheeks. The Bambam you knew who did crazy dances in front of the whole school and daringly stood out on the first day of school with his dyed, tomato red hair, was feeling shy. Shy. You gulped down your bite of burrito, nodding for him to go on, though you desperately wished for time to stop. “Is your sister dating anyone? I heard from Gyeom that she gave her number to…” You couldn’t listen anymore. It was worse than you were expecting. You figured he would break your heart eventually, but…why did it have to be your sister? Your sister was just a year older and a senior at your school. However, despite being so close in age, the two of you were worlds apart. She seemed to have gotten all of the good genes, leaving you with the leftovers. She was the star player of the soccer team and the senior class president. She was beautiful and talented and witty. Everyone who ever met your sister was immediately charmed—so it should’ve come as no surprise when you saw Bambam melting into a blushing mess right in front of you. That didn’t mean it hurt any less though. “I mean, I’ll ask her myself obviously, but I just wanted to make sure she’s actually looking,” Bambam blabbered on nervously. You forced out a weak chuckle, putting your burrito down to rest your head in your palms. “Bambam, you must really like her, huh?” “W-what? No, I’m just curious, I mean…” he sighed, a silly grin resting on his face before he finally looked you in the eyes. “Doesn’t everybody like her?” “That’s true. She’s my sister, of course she’s amazing!” You joke, watching as his eyes light up in agreement. “You won’t feel weird if I ask your sister out then?” You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly. “As long as you’re both happy, I’m happy.” Bambam smiles sweetly back at you. “Obviously I don’t have my hopes up that it’ll work out. I just—I’ve always waited until it was too late—I don’t want to regret not doing it, you know?” “Ayy, have more confidence Bambam! If anyone is as awesome as my sister, it’s you!” He broke out into a shy laugh, rolling his eyes in embarrassment. “You’re just saying that because you’re my best friend.” You cringed inwardly at his last words but kept a smile plastered on your face. “Well, you’re my best friend for a reason,” you reminded him. “Actually, maybe I shouldn’t ask. She probably still sees me as the silly kid friend,” If you were being completely honest with yourself, a part of you wanted to tell him not to. But Bambam was an amazing guy. It was why you loved him, why you cherished every moment with him, so when you saw his confident glow disappear, you turned a blind eye to your breaking heart. “Bam! She’s only a year older than us! Stop putting yourself down and dab your way into her heart. If she rejects you, she’s a fool!” He laughed at your ridiculous expression, but you could see in the shake of his head that he wasn’t convinced. “But she won’t reject you,” you continue confidently. He looked at you skeptically but you went on. “She won’t because you’re gonna have the best wingman to guide you—me!” He chuckled softly. “You’re the best, Y/N.” “What are friends for?” - Clearly, you were the greatest friend. Who else would spend their Friday night begging their sister to go on a date with their crush? “Bam told me you said you would think about it,” you insisted as you sat on her bed, watching as your sister turned away to her desk full of open textbooks. “Obviously, I said that to let him down easy. Bambam is a smart guy, he should be able to read between the lines,” she replied back stiffly, her nose buried in a book. You sighed. That was exactly it though. You saw how crestfallen he looked when he told you your sister’s answer. If there was anything worse than seeing Bambam fall for your sister, it was watching his heart break from her too. “What’s wrong with one date though?” You continued. “Bam’s an amazing guy if you give him a chance.” Your sister chuckled, swiveling around in her chair to face you. “Yeah, he’s an amazing guy—for you. Haven’t you been pining after him since you first met? Why don’t you ask him out?” “W-what?” You stuttered out, growing red in the face. “Don’t be ridiculous.” “Y/N, I’m your sister, I know you…and I know where you hide your diary.” Your face scrunched in defeat. “Dammit, I moved it to a new spot just last week.” “I only read it because I care, Y/N. I’m not going to give Bambam a chance ever. Don’t even think you can sway me. Even if I liked him, which I don’t by the way—don’t give me that look—I would never date him because I know exactly how much you like him. You’re my sister. Family comes first.” You let out a groan, letting yourself fall back against her pillows. You wish you could hate her, but she had a point. You would never date her crush either. “Urgh, fine!” You whined, rolling your body off her bed. “I’ll let you get back to studying…And stop reading my diary!” “I will if you can find a better hiding spot!” - But you didn’t give up. How could you when you had to come back to a crestfallen face like his? In all the years you’ve known him, Bambam has always been a silly guy, but you know that silliness was also part of his tough exterior. He hid himself behind jokes and laughter. So when you saw him at the usual lunch spot, your heart hurt for him. He was laughing loudly as usual with Yugyeom, but you knew better than to fall for his act. His under eyes were lined with hues of sleepless grey and his bowl of noodles were barely touched. “Hey Y/N!” Bambam waved you over as you approached the table. “Listen to Gyeom rap! It’s amaaazing!” You roll your eyes as Yugyeom proceeds to rap for you, reluctantly letting out a chuckle of amusement. “You guys want to come over this weekend?” You interrupt. The two fall silent, exchanging quick glances. You force out a smile of enthusiasm. “Yes, my sister will be there too. We can all study together!” “She’s been texting me one word responses,” Bambam replied back with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure she’s not interested in seeing me around.” “Yeah, it’ll look like Bambam’s stalking her,” Yugyeom added with a laugh. “Hey! My sister doesn’t own the house; I can invite anyone over! Besides, she’s just a stubborn girl. Once you hang around her more, she’ll open up to you in no time.” “I don’t know, Y/N, I don’t want to come off as annoying.” “You won’t! Trust your wingman, Bam!” …is what you said, but when the weekend approached, you felt sick to your stomach. The whole night you kept thinking up strange dreams of Bambam and your sister getting married and asking you to be their best man and maid of honor. It had you in a cold sweat by morning. “You don’t look too good. Are you sick?” your sister asked as you entered the living room, taking a few steps back from you. You frowned, plopping down on the sofa. “I didn’t sleep well last night.” She grinned devilishly. “Are you nervous about your boy coming over to visit you?” You roll your eyes. “We’re just going to be studying. You’re still joining us right?” She shrugged her shoulders. “I have to study for college entrance exams anyways.” When the doorbell rings, you take in a deep breath, sucking in your last bit of nerves before going to open the door. When you do, only Bambam is standing at the entrance. “Where’s Yugy?” “Hello to you too,” Bambam snapped, feigning offence. You chuckle at his act before pulling him inside. “Gyeom had to help his mom last minute.” “I guess it’s just us then. My sister’s in the kitchen,” you pause, giving Bambam a suggestive smirk. “Do you want me to leave? Sounds like Yugy could use a hand.” Bambam grabbed at your arm, making your heart skip two beats at the contact. He gave you a stern look. “I swear, if you leave us alone, I’m disowning you as a friend.” “Good,” you mutter under your breath before quickly turning around and heading into the kitchen. “What was that?” Bambam called after you, following right behind. “Nothing,” you shrug, before turning back to look at him, a smile back on your face. “Just leave it to your wingman.” With a final wink, you settle yourself down at the kitchen table where your sister is already typing away on her laptop. “What’s up Bam?” she asks nonchalantly, eyes still fixated on her screen. You gesture for Bambam to sit beside her. “Nothing much,” he answers back just as casually, following your orders and taking a seat next to her. “What are you working on?” “College stuff. Trying to write my essay, but I still have no idea what topic to do it on.” “Ah,” he gave an empathetic sigh. “Sounds stressful.” She glanced at him with an appreciative smile. “Trust me, not at hard as junior year. I bet you guys have it tough.” You groan, pulling out textbooks from your bag and onto the table. “Tough doesn’t even begin to describe.” Your sister gives you a knowing smirk, glancing slightly at Bambam before looking back at you. “Oh, I bet.” You roll your eyes. The kitchen quickly grows quiet and the three of you swiftly fall into rhythm, working on your own separate assignments. The consistent tapping of your sister’s fingers on her keyboard, with the soft, warm smell of Bambam’s laundry detergent, not to mention your lack of sleep the night before, it doesn’t even hit you when your eyes glaze over the black and white text of your book and you fall asleep right at the kitchen table. But your sister notices, and the smirk on her face grows wide when it’s clear you’re in a deep sleep. “Hey Bambam,” she whispers, tapping the nervous boy beside her. “Can you help me with something?” “Of course, Noona.” She ushers him upstairs and into your room, leaving you alone and unaware. “I still don’t know what to write about so I figured we could look through our old photo albums. Maybe I’ll find some inspiration there.” Bambam smiled, nodding his head eagerly. “I think all you’ll find are embarrassing stories of Y/N in these,” he laughed, as he pulled the albums from underneath your bed as if he knew your room like the back of his hand. The gesture was not lost on your sister. “Have you seen all the pictures already?” “Most of them, I think,” Bambam shrugs, his smile widening as he opens an album. “We went through them together the beginning of last summer.” The smile on your sister’s face grew bigger. “Oh, but that’s practically six months’ worth of memories you haven’t seen yet then.” He laughed incredulously. “Nobody updates photo albums that often. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen all of them.” “Oh look! Do you remember when this photo was taken, Bambam?” How could he not? It was a photo of your sister, you, Yugyeom and him all underneath the cherry blossoms near the school. It was about a month after you and Bambam met and everything he did made you laugh. Not that he didn’t still make you laugh, but during this time, everything he said made you laugh. And in the picture, you were ugly laughing away, your arms around your sister and Yugyeom to keep you from collapsing altogether. And Bambam, with his bright red hair against the soft pink of the flowering trees, was looking at the three of you, mouth wide open. He must’ve been in the middle of saying a joke, because you were definitely dying of laughter over something. “You guys look so young even though it hasn’t even been that long,” your sister interrupted his thoughts. “Puberty hit you hard, Bambam.” “Thank god,” he sighed, still smiling at the picture fondly. “Who was taking the picture again?” She turned the photo back to her and her expression softened as the name left her lips. “Mark.” And Bambam knew exactly what that meant. And for some reason, it didn’t make him feel that bad. That day was actually Mark’s last day of school. He was just one grade above your sister. To be honest, everyone thought Mark and your sister would get together that year. But months passed and then he was already graduating. In the yearbooks, your sister’s name was etched perfectly beside Mark’s under the perfect couple that never was. Bambam (and everyone else for that matter) always figured Mark was the reason your sister never jumped into a relationship, despite the many offers she received throughout the year. “Why don’t you tell him how you feel?” Bambam spoke up suddenly. “It’s not like Hyung moved across the world or anything. He just went to university.” She shook her head, tucking the photo back into its sleeve. “Why would a university student want to be dragged down by some lame high schooler? Besides, he has to focus on his education.” She gave an unconvincing smile before pulling out another photo to change the subject. “Have you seen this one?” Bambam took the photo in his hands, his eyes faltering slightly. “No…” The picture was of him sitting on the floor of their gymnasium, right next to Yugyeom. His hair was still bright red. “It’s not new.” He stated quietly. The smile on your sister’s face resurfaced. “I bet there’s a lot of old photos you haven’t seen,” she remarked, a twinkle in her eyes. She continued to flip through the pages of the photo album, pulling out photos that were hidden beneath their family pictures—all of them featuring Bambam. “Bambam, you asked me out on a date and now you’re telling me to go after another guy. When did you even start to crush on me? Or more importantly, why?” Bambam gulped, not knowing what to say as he picked up each hidden photo of himself into his hands. On the back of each photo, you had written random facts. July 12th, First Year – Bam said he likes my peach lip balm. I didn’t tell him it was actually grapefruit. July 30th, First Year – Our first time at the beach together. Bam prefers girls in one piece suits. Guess what I wore? Heh~ August 3rd, First Year – Bam is going on vacation back to Thailand. I miss him already. September 5th, First Year – Bam grew two inches taller over the summer. I wonder what else of him grew two inches ;) He scoffed at the perverted emoji you drew beside your own comment, a silly smile quickly running across his face at your immaturity. Your sister cleared her throat when it was obvious he wasn’t going to answer her. She pulled out the last hidden photo of the album and read its back aloud. “December 17th, First Year – Today I thought Bambam was going to ask me to the dance. He took me to the park just to tell me to dance with Yugy.” “She never went to the winter dance.” Bambam whispered quietly, taking the photo from your sister. It was a photo of your old classroom. The girl that Bambam had gone to the dance with was talking to him at his desk. You had taken the photo secretly at your own desk that was two rows behind his. “She doesn’t know that I know this, but you made her cry that day,” she stated, trying her best not to sound vindictive, though it came out cuttingly anyways. “I-I thought she liked Gyeom…” Your sister lifted her head in surprise at the slight admission. “You—” “You what?!” You opened the door of your bedroom with a bang, staring at Bambam with wide eyes. You looked crazy with the creases of your textbook lining your face with red marks and dry, white drool flowering at the edge of your lips. “Y/N?!” Bambam jumped back in surprise, the photos leaving his hands as if he were caught red handed. If it were possible, your eyes grew even wider when you saw what was scattered on your floor. “Unnie!” You screamed in horror, rushing to collect your pool of hidden photos. “What the hell are you two doing? And why the hell would I like Yugy?!” “I-I…Y-You were always…You and Gyeom were…always together…” Bambam averted his eyes like a guilty puppy, his fingers naturally intertwining nervously. “Because we’re childhood friends, you idiot.” “But…” “But?” “…You guys were always touching…and laughing together.” “Damn it Bam, you don’t know how much I wanted to touch you!” “Woah there, let’s keep it PG kids,” your sister interrupted with a chuckle. You only glared her way, snatching the photo album away from her. “You didn’t think I didn’t either?” Bambam raised his voice, looking directly at you now. “I’ve wanted to hold you close ever since you laughed out strawberry milk from your nose! You could’ve had garlic and onion lip gloss and I would’ve loved it. And of course I like bikinis more, what guy doesn’t? And when I left for Thailand I spent every day of my vacation staring at my phone, waiting for you to message me!” You put down the photobook slowly. “Did you like me back then?” He nodded his head eagerly, glad that his message got to you. “But then…” your face fell again, before you replaced it with a fake smile. “But not anymore right? You like Unnie now…” “I-” Bambam glanced at your sister quickly before scooting closer to you. “I…yeah…I grew some kind of crush…” Your heart fell. “But!” Bambam continued, taking hold of your hands. “That’s because I spent all our time trying not to like you! I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” His voice faltered at the last sentence, as if even saying it hurt him. You huffed in disbelief, squeezing his hands more. “You?! I was worried that I would ruin our friendship.” Bambam’s smile slowly began to widen before he finally whispered, “I like you a lot more than a little crush.” Your sister chuckled before rising from the floor, dusting her hands together with satisfaction. “Well, I guess my work here is done.” She smirked at the two of you. “Real Wingman, 1. Y/N, 0.” You rolled your eyes as your sister left the room, though you clearly couldn’t hide your smile. “Please stop reading my diary!” “Find a better hiding spot!~” Bambam chuckled softly, resting his forehead against yours. “So…you really aren’t into Gyeom?” You scrunched your nose in annoyance. “You idiot. Can you shut up about Yugy and just kiss me already?” Bambam pursed his lips together shyly, before leaning in and taking your lips in his. He smiled into the kiss, his tongue lightly grazing against you. “You sure it isn’t peach lip balm?”

[ashxketchum]

DigiOTPWeek- Day 1

Pairing: Mimato, Prompt: Coffee Shop

Note: This is set in a non-tri universe. 

word count: 3,225

The shop was tucked inside the busy lanes of Akihabara, intensely far away from her house and college, making it a safe choice for her as she would hate to run into any acquaintance, major or minor while she embarrassed herself by putting on an idol costume and serving coffee to otakus for a meagre wage. Tokyo was an expensive city to live in, and even more expensive to live happily in and Mimi was tired of relying on her parents for money, leading her to venture into the realm of part-time jobs. It turns out, to work in high quality kissaten you need tonnes of experience, which the brunette lacked severely, and the only place ready to hire inexperienced newbies were the dingy shops and cafes of Akihabara. So she reassured herself, that no one she knew would ever enter this shop and if they did, she would judge them before they even got a chance to question her get up.

Although, working in the idol cafe turned out to be a much more positive experience than Mimi had expected, she became fast friends with almost all the other waitresses from her shift, the manager was kind, and the customers mostly only craved attention, a feeling she had been guilty of in her teenage years, so she obliged in the most polite and non-creepy manner that she could. After a month of working there, not only did Mimi get better at making coffee but also slowly started to enjoy her work there.

But as she had learned when she was a child, all good things come to an end. So did her short-lived discreet job when one rainy evening in August, someone she thought she had forgotten came walking through the revolving doors. The tall blond folded his umbrella hurriedly and the minute he looked up, his blue eyes landed on Mimi.

There were a lot of thoughts that ran through her mind at that time, but none signalled her feet to turn around and run into the kitchen. She stood there facing Ishida Yamato, an acquaintance from  her childhood, in shock and he returned the favour. She watched in horror as recognition dawned on his face, then comprehension, and then finally, condescension. Because of which her brain recovered fast, they had been through something surreal together sure, but they’d never been close, they hadn’t even been friends, he had no right to look down on her and she wouldn’t let him.

“Welcome to Milky Star, will you be dining alone Sir?” the smile on her face was a stretch and the pitch of her voice a little too high, but it worked.

Yamato was baffled, she figured he had expected to get the first word in and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at his stuttering reaction.

“Ah yes, alone,” he replied timidly, a tint of red slowly covering his cheeks as he realized the position he was in, eating alone in an idol cafe in Akihabara on the weekend was definitely worse than working the said cafe.

Mimi brightened up her smile even further as she motioned for him to follow him, she gave him a seat right in the middle of the floor, completely visible to all. As he took his seat he scowled at her, to convey that he did not appreciate the blatant disregard from her side, and she only replied with an even bigger smile.

“Would you like to see the specials men-”

“I’d just like a cup of strong black coffee, that’s all,” Yamato muttered without even taking the menu from her hand, Mimi nodded and delivered his request to the other waitress who was in-charge of the table the blond had taken.

His coffee arrived in a short while and Mimi’s attention shifted to the customers on her side of the floor, with only occasionally glances in his direction. He was stuck to his phone as he slowly slipped his coffee, it was still pouring very heavily outside so she assumed he was waiting the rain out. She thought about how the last time she had seen him was some 8-9 years ago and somehow nothing had still changed between them, that is, they still couldn’t talk to each other. She caught him staring at her when he ordered a refill and she had to break the gaze in order to stop herself from blushing. Even as a child she had always thought that he was blessed with princely looks, and they had only gotten better with age. The other waitresses had already begun gushing over him in the back room and in order to not distance herself from her co-workers, she joined in too.

He stayed for about an hour, and once the rain slowed down into a drizzle, he left with one last look in her direction as he walked out of the cafe.

That night, Mimi’s mind was muddled with questions, unnecessary ones, she thought. The most glaring one being whether she would see Yamato again or not. She didn’t know why she wanted to, but running into him like this made her feel a little nostalgic, and she wanted another shot at it, so she could do it right this time and maybe reconnect with everyone else. When she had returned to Japan for college three years ago, she had meant to get in touch with everyone, but somehow everyone had drifted apart and when she called and left messages, nobody bothered to return them. At twenty, the digital world was starting to feel like an elaborate dream that she had shared with seven other kids, who no longer remembered her.

That’s not true, a voice from the back of her head told her, he remembered you.

*

“You’re back?” the words left her mouth before she could restrain herself.

“Am I not allowed here or...?” a smirk settled on his pale face, as he stared her down.

Mimi heard her manager cough behind her and immediately bowed her head, “I’m sorry, what I meant was, welcome to Milky Star-”

“I will be dining alone, yes,” Yamato replied, stepping past her, he walked towards her side of the floor and picking a table in the corner, settled down comfortably.

Mimi, still a little shaken by his presence was reminded by her Manager to not just stand around, so she shook her head, hoping that the nervousness she felt would disappear with the shake. But as she made her way towards his table, to take his order, she felt all her confidence leave her body once their eyes met. Yamato ordered black coffee again and the kitchen obliged faster than last time. He sipped it slowly, asking for refills after long intervals. This time, he stayed for three hours, writing something in a moleskin diary. The entire time he was there, Mimi felt like there was a knot in her stomach, that just kept tightening up and she couldn’t breathe relievedly till he was gone.

But he came back again the next day, and then the next and again and again. He’d sit in her corner, and order his usual coffee, spend time either studying or reading a novel or writing something in his diary. He’d make no effort to talk to her, except when he wanted a refill. The other waitresses had started giving her a hard time, teasing her relentlessly about him and as much as Mimi tried to convey to them that there was nothing happening between them, that she didn’t even know who he was (a lie she was having difficulty supporting), they picked on  her still.

So when a month passed, and it started to seem like the visits were becoming a part of his routine, Mimi felt like she needed to take some action. So she requested for her fifteen minute break time and seated herself across him, with a chocolate croissant to keep her stomach company.

“Do you live around here now?” she began, and he looked up from his book on astronomy and faced her.

“No, Nakano actually,” he replied earnestly.

“Do you like idol cafes?” she continued, nibbling on her croissant.

“Not in the least,” he smirked, as he closed his book and put it down on the table.

Mimi narrowed her eyes at him, so he had been coming here just to see her or maybe to get on her nerves, she couldn’t tell yet.

“The costume suits you though,” Yamato said wryly, and picked up his cup to take a sip of his coffee.

Mimi pressed her lips together in annoyance, she didn’t want him to get the better of her, so she replied proudly, “I know.”

He let out a small laugh and set his cup down, “When did you come back?”

“Three years ago,” she murmured, “I left a message to Takeru-kun but he never replied,”

She watched as he frowned slightly, and a deep look appeared on his face as if he was trying to recall where he had been three years ago, to her it seemed like he couldn’t really place himself or Takeru-kun of that time.

“It’s okay, I’m not holding it against anyone,” Mimi sighed, as she got tired of waiting for him to answer.

“Sorry, we were all a little distant at that time,” he muttered after a while.

Mimi shrugged in reply, she pulled out her phone and checked the time to see how much more of her break time left, seeing that she was almost done, she started eating her croissant and Yamato went back to his book. Once she was done with it, she cleared her throat to get his attention and he looked up curiously.

“Can you stop coming here then?” she asked as politely as she could.

“The coffee’s really good here,” he replied quietly.

Mimi rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, if she really wanted to work at this cafe peacefully, without having the uneasiness settling into her every time he so much as looked in her direction, she had to have confidence and say her piece, “What do you want from me? Why are you here?”

Yamato lowered his gaze, he was silent for some time, and Mimi remembered that he had never been good at putting his feelings into words, which is why there were always misunderstandings between him and Taichi. Even now she could see the discomfort he was in as he tried to collect his thoughts and answer her sincerely.

“My flatmate made me come here to run an errand for him that day, it started pouring like shit, this was the only place I could see that was open so I entered without thinking,” he said, “and then I saw you and somehow I felt like staying.”

Mimi scoffed as she checked the time once again, “This is the most we’ve ever talked to each other, and you’re expecting me to believe that seeing me was comforting for you?” she stood up disappointed, and dusted her skirt off, her break time was done and she had failed to accomplish her aim.

“I felt like I had another shot, at actually being friends with you,” Yamato said, looking up to meet her eye.

Mimi held his gaze, it felt genuine to her, his request, but she just didn’t understand why. Unfortunately, time was running out and she needed to settle this somehow. She didn’t want to turn him down, but she was definitely tired of having him sitting here every single day.

“Okay, but you can’t take this shot at my workplace,” she stated and rushed off to the back room before he could reply. When she came back, he was gone and the manager asked her to clean up the table and as she was picking up the empty coffee cup, she noticed a piece of napkin that had been pressed under it, it had his number and e-mail scribbled on it neatly in blue ink and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes and giggle at the same time.

*

When two weeks passed and there was no sign of him in the cafe, she dropped him a message thanking him for listening to her. From there, simple life updates turned into lengthy TV plot discussions and political opinion debates. Texting Yamato at the end of day became natural for Mimi and his replies never missed a beat. After two months of texting back and forth, they decided to meet up on a weekend. He made her wait for fifteen minutes and when she finally saw him at the station, she had to wave her hands to get his attention, he smirked and told her he didn’t recognize her without the costume, and he received a punch on the shoulder for that.

They went for some karaoke, singing and laughing till Mimi couldn’t breathe. They got dinner at a small ramen shop and he dropped her at her doorstep. That night she found out that they were both going to the same college, but he had started graduate school this year and since his faculty was different, their campuses were quite far apart.

Sora had moved to Kyoto after high school because of her vocational degree, being the first one to graduate and get a proper job, she was always too busy to keep in touch, she tried her best but sometimes it wasn’t enough. Once they were done with college, Taichi used up a lot of savings to backpack across the nation and hadn’t been in touch with anyone in the past six months, having returned only recently, he hadn’t figured out what he was going to do next so he was crashing with at Yamato’s place for some time, and combined with his flatmate, they were both getting on the blond’s nerve. Jyou took up a job in Aichi, Koushiro went to Europe for studies right after high school. Takeru was in his second year of college, he’d gotten some short stories published in monthly magazines and was now working on a novel and Hikari was training to be a teacher.

Listening to him, Mimi felt like everyone except her had their life planned out well. She had come back to Japan in order to reconnect with everyone but since she failed at, in the beginning, she decided to move on with it and do whatever she wanted to. She picked her major without thinking twice, she’d done a lot of travelling with her college circle, she’d joined different clubs every year, participated in any event that she could but she still hadn’t figured out what she wanted to do. The job at the idol coffee shop was just something to keep her busy and earn some extra cash on the side. She mentioned it offhandedly, that she wasn’t sure where she was going and Yamato just laughed and told her, she had her whole life ahead of her to think about that, somehow those words were comforting for her.

The next time they met was a month later, they’d both been too busy with college and life to make time for each other. When she sat next to him in the family restaurant's booth though, it didn’t feel like a month a had passed at all, they started right where they had left off. Gradually, meeting once a month turned into twice and then it was a weekly affair. It wasn’t long before Mimi felt like talking to Yamato about everything, but she was never sure how he felt. He was good at avoiding prying questions, and she wasn’t the type to push anyway.

Their first kiss happened by accident.

He was at her apartment, helping her bake for her club meet, when he leaned over her to grab a ladle and she absent-mindedly turned around to face him. Their eyes met, and they both stopped moving. Mimi felt her cheeks turn red as he lowered his head slightly and she dropped her gaze to the floor. Yamato put a finger on her chin and raised her head, slowly leaning into her and touching his lips to hers. He threaded a hand through her hair and she put her arms around him and pulled him closer. The kiss was soft and patient, and when they pulled apart a wistful sigh escaped her lips.  Neither was sure about what to do next, so they continued baking.

After that, whether it was intentional or unintentional on both their parts, they didn’t see each other for a month. Mimi was about to enter the job-hunting phase and she was busy narrowing down companies and a career path and Yamato was busy submitting assignments and meeting deadlines. Her shift at the cafe was just getting over when he walked in, looking tired and worn out. He took his usual seat in the corner and she got him his coffee without even asking. She set down the cup in front of him, and settles herself on the empty chair across him.

“Hey,” he said as he took a sip.

“Hi,” she replied with a small smile.

“Thought I’d take you home...it’s been a while,” he smiled back at her.

“That would be nice,” Mimi nodded and waited in silence for him to finish his coffee.

On the way back they updated each other on all that had happened in the past month. They’d kept in touch through messages but talking face to face was much better. Taichi had finally gotten his own place, so Yamato gave her an open invitation for dinner whenever she was free. He also told her about how he’d gotten into an argument with his college advisor recently which had slowed down his research immensely. She talked about the companies that had shortlisted her for further rounds and how she was planning to quit working at the cafe soon, Yamato was curious about whether they’d let her keep the costume or not. Bantering and laughing along the way, Mimi didn’t even realize when the train ride ended and when they arrived at her doorstep.

The disappointment showed on her face as she fished out her key from her bag, Yamato cleared his throat, catching her attention. Mimi turned to face him, he was trying very hard to say something but the red tint on his face pointed out how embarrassed he was feeling. She raised an eyebrow in question when their eyes met and Yamato looked upwards, raking a hand through his hair restlessly.

“I, uhh, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to come in for a while,” he muttered quietly, avoiding meeting her eye.

Mimi stood there, a little surprised, but a little relieved as well. The past few months, the kiss, she hadn’t imagined any of it, it had actually happened and he felt the same way, or at least it looked like he did. He was nervously waiting for her reply, and to her he looked cute, fidgeting and playing with his hair, throwing cautious looks in her direction. Mimi wondered what would happen if she playfully rejected him right now, he’d probably cry, she thought and grinned to herself. Finally, she sighed and looked at him, smiling mischievously.

“I hope you’re not going to take that long to kiss me again,”

*

[transboygenius]

SE4SON: Chapter 15

With the quartz quest finally completed, Jimmy and Nick decided to relax with their weird yet lovable friends for the rest of the day, after they had their short power nap. It wasn't fully dark outside yet, but that didn't mean they couldn't set a campfire and enjoy a good moose frank roast. Butterscotch was chomping his teeth into an oat cake Nick promised he'd bake. Diana roasted five franks on the same stick, Rodent Girl would roast cheese with her franks, and Benson kept burning his because he isn't sure whether his meat is done or not. While eating, Jimmy and Nick told them about stuff in the twenty first century. Nick usually tells scary stories around campfires, but it wasn't all that dark.

"The future is sooooooo weird yet very astonishing! Work is done more easier and fun is more fun! Tell me more!" Said Rodent Girl. "Okay. There's this little box, well nowadays most of them are pretty much flat and wide, with a window on it. It magically projects moving pictures that tell stories. It's called television. T.V. for short." Said Nick. "Ooooooooooooooh!" Wowed Rodent Girl, Diana, Butterscotch, and Benson. "Unfortunately, rarely anyone watches TV, in our generation, anymore. All the real fun happens on the internet!" "What is the internet?" Asked Benson. "It's a bit complicated to explain, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet. Opportunities are universal on the internet. You can only access it on a computer, with wifi. A computer looks similar to a TV, but has a 'typewriter' attached to it. You can play brightly colored games, do your shopping in peace, share your written diaries anonymously, and much more, and I'm gonna stop there cuz I said I'd keep it short and sweet. And also, some things on the internet are evil, but I won't go into that." "It sounds too good to be true! How do machines such as the internet even work? What, or who, is inside this box, anyway?" Asked Diana.

Jimmy responded with his techno babbling, explaining the full details of an open source system and how it operates. Nick had to cut him off, since his words brought nothing but confusion to his new friends. So like Nick, Jimmy decided to go short and sweet as well.

"*Sigh* Science. It's like magic, but manmade. And it actually works." "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Again, wowed Rodent Girl, Diana, Butterscotch, and Benson. "If you do get home and decide to visit us, could you bring me one of those cardiovasculars?" Asked Diana. "I want a fondue maker! A tub sized one! Make sure it comes with a year supply of swissssssss!" Screamed Rodent Girl. "Please, please! If there's anything I'd want more, get me a dishwasher!" Benson begged. "Houyhnhnm. (I just want a helicopter.)" Whinned Butterscotch. "Those things are very expensive." Said Nick. "Awwwwwwwww." The four of everyone moaned. "I can manufacture those myself!" Said Jimmy. "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!" "But we shouldn't tamper with the timeline like that. The effect could be adverse." "Awwwwwwwww." "No fondue maker?" Cried Rodent Girl. "But, I can bring back some of my cooking. I'll even write down some recipes." Said Nick. "Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Rodent Girl came up to Nick and then hugged him deeply.

"Thank you, friend! I wish you two didn't have to leave!" Cried Rodent Girl again. "Well, it's only temporary when the next storm comes." Nick replied "I wish it never rained!" "What is going on here?" A familiar voice was heard.

Jimmy and Nick froze. Everyone turned around. Mitzi had returned from work again.

"We were just talking about fondue makers and broken hearts." Rodent Girl responded to Mitzi. "Interesting. Anyhow, I thought this over while at work, and I'd like you to know that I'm here to apologize." "Huh?" Both Jimmy and Nick. "Diana, I'm sorry for my behavior yesterday and for being so selfish. Oona, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable with those rat puns. I'll try to resist making one ever again."

The two boys glared up at Mitzi, both with the same facial expression, and their arms crossed. After all the trouble and anxiety Mitzi put them through, they might moreover have their apology too. Mitzi glared back at the boys. She can tell they already knew she tried to foil their plan.

"How 'bout it?" Asked Mitzi. "Hmmmm, you did apologize. I think all's left to do is forgive and forget." Replied Diana.

Diana got up from her log and hugged her friend. Mitzi didn't show any sign of being crushed, that's because Diana was just wrapping her arms around her, without using any of her strength. Everyone was touched over this scenery except Jimmy and Nick. Mitzi is still a horrible person in their eyes, no matter how sweet the moment looked. She sabotaged their time machine, and she didn't even apologize to them. The boys are sick of having to content with her bull. Someone oughta do something about it. Nick lowered his head to Jimmy's ear, and whispered.

"I have a plan. I'll wake you up for it."

.............................

[*Early morning*]

The sun was beginning to raise, but everyone was still asleep. Mitzi had just finished a small breakfast, contesting of toast with jam and a black coffee, and packed her lunch ahead of time. She then took her plate and mug to the counter for Benson to wash. When she got there, she found a note laying around.

Mitzi, I want to talk to you about... uhhhhhhhh.... ...a thing. Come into the shed and we can discuss this, thing, in private. Diana. P.S. Why are you so mean to Nick and Jimmy? They're super cool!

Mitzi immediately rushed to the shed after reading the message. However, when she got there, all she found in the shed was emptiness. After that, the door slammed close, leaving the shed in pitch darkness. The darkness was short lived when a lantern lit up the room. Jimmy and Nick were there, guarding the door behind them. Mitzi's heart pounded in her chest.

"I KNEW IT! I knew thou were up to no good! Luckily, I had myself prepared! Now perish!" Screamed Mitzi, then held up a crucifix. "*Yawn* Like that's gonna work. We're not demons, lady." Said Nick. "Lies! Lies you tell! There probably is no future awaiting for your return! You're not like any of us! You dress funny! You talk weird! You're little friend talks even weirder!" "Leave Jimmy out of this! And I'm sorry we don't fit in the middle age description of 'natural fashion!'" "And what do you expect future people to look like? Time advances as it progresses, and humanity starts to improve! Actually, it's also getting worse, too. Demons are myths! Hoax! A construct of religious conviction!" Said Jimmy. "If you were demons, you'd still deny it!"

Nick was at his last straw now. He walked up to Mitzi, grabbed the cross, and threw it aside.

"We just wanna talk." "'Wanna talk,' that's what they all say! And before you know it, you're being taken away from your family and into their rebellion, where they soon strip to reveal their true form, and you realize your feelings have been toyed with this whole time! Then you spend the rest of your youth performing slavery labor under vile conditions that are hazardous to your health, fed only one bowl of gruel a day! A world where friendships were torn apart for survival, and nobody loves you there! I have lost one family, and I'm not gonna let you ruin this one!"

Jimmy and Nick hesitated for a moment. It sounded as though Mitzi explained her whole background story.

"What's with this silence?! Speak now!" Mitzi demanded. "Look; I'm sorry what happened to you, and your family, but you need to stop acting like a bitch." Replied Nick. "'Cuse me, demon?" "Ever since we first arrived, you've shown absolutely nothing but disgust towards us, regardless of how nice we've been! You even began to take your anger out on your current family!" "Hey! I apologized, didn't I? And I don't care if you have halos floating above your heads! I will not be suckered into another demon's false kindness!" "For the last time, we are not demons! We just wanna go home! I wanna take a hot bath! I wanna binge watch on CageFlix while laying in bed! I wanna blow my allowance on convenient store snacks with high calories! I DON'T wanna sacrifice some stranger's life to a cult! I know you've dealt with some horrible people, or whatever they were, in the past. We're not them! We want to see our families as well! Would it kill you to at least learn to know us better, instead of constantly judging us?! You might not make any new friends with this attitude!"

Jimmy was paralyzed by Nick's words. Not because they sounded empowering, but the way he summed up Mitzi, it reminded him of someone: Himself. Jimmy's always making enemies. He's only eleven years old, yet he managed to mold himself the biggest rouge's gallery more than any existing hero ever had. Like Mitzi, he has also been suckered by his own villain's schemes occasionally. This has developed some trust issues with the boy genius. If a villain were to say they wanted to redeem themself, or he met with a person who looked slightly sinister, he feels that someone isn't worth trusting. However, Tee turned out to be redeemed, even though Jimmy protested at first. Maybe he should start acting like a real genius and look into his facts. After all, he learned to trust Nick after he opened up to him.

Mitzi tried to think of a good response to Nick's lecture, but she just couldn't find the right words. She didn't know what to say, yet she won't accept that she's been defeated. Despite how angry her expression looked, she spoke in a calm tone,

"I have to go to work."

Nick turned to Jimmy, thinking he'd know how to reply to that. The boy genius only shrugged. They might as well just let her go. After having approval from Nick, Jimmy stepped out of the way to let her through. After Mitzi reached the door and opened it, she shot Jimmy and Nick one last glare for the day. When she exited the shed, she slammed the door behind her. Jimmy was worried she might try to vandalize their time machine again, but then Nick let him know that he hid it somewhere she can't find it. The two boys took their lantern, and their leave. As they walked back to the barn, Jimmy still thought about what Nick had told Mitzi earlier. The taller boy began to notice his friend's concerned look.

"You alright there, Jim?" "Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm okay. I was still thinking about... ...persuading the king." "Persuading the king?" "Yeah. We talked about it the other night, remember?" "Yes, I remember. I still think we're walking on thin ice here. We're talking man of the hour, the one who owns a whole world surrounded by these four walls." "Psychology, Nick. Psychology." "How do we get to him? Walking into a domain of a powerful authority figure sounds pretty difficult, if you look at it my way." "Sneaking into the king's jewel mine didn't seem like a problem to you." "I know, but we're facing the king up close, and who knows how many guards he owns?" "Will you stop worrying, okay? You have to trust me on this. It takes an IQ of 215 to butter up even the most stubborn-est fascists. Our new friends, minus Mitzi, have done so much for us, I think we oughta pay them back." "Yeah, you have a good point. I'm still a little doubtful, however." "If it makes you feel any safer, we'll take Diana along with us." "Bringing along a 6'3 lady with a well-built body that puts Jet Fusion's biceps to shame sorta makes me feel a little safer. But you know what will make me feel safest?" "Being armed?" "Staying right by your side."

Jimmy grinned at Nick. If this mission will cost them their lives, Nick would rather die next to his best friend than to die alone. It fills the boy genius's heart with warm passion. Wait, why do I even feel this type of passion? ...to a boy? The two headed into their barn. They were still a bit drowsy from waking up so early, around 4:00 am, waiting for Mitzi. They didn't know what time she left for work at. Nick put out the lantern while Jimmy got cozy in his hay bed. Nick did the same after he was done. They soon closed their eyes and drifted off. Their rest was then put to an end by the rooster's cry. Nick got pissed.

"I SWEAR TO GOD, I'm gonna pluck you, bread you, and dip you into piping hot oil!"

...........................

After everyone finished their breakfast, which Nick prepared himself, Jimmy went over the "Persuade King Jason Proposal" with Diana.

"You wanna call a meeting? With King Jason?!" Asked Diana. "Yes, precisely." Replied Jimmy. "Absolutely not! You haven't yet met with this sir! Frankly, I haven't either, but you know what this man can do! No wait... You know what this man can pay his men to do! Any mere peasant who is't dares to file a complaint to the king, shall--" "...be hanged. Yes. We got the message. Like 1,000 times. We know. The dude's got a hanging fetish." Said Nick. "And it's not 'filing a complaint,' it's a work of mindset. Otherwise known as psychology. For example, monkeys are easily influenced by positive reinforcement. These primates are as disobedient as they come, but you can charm them with the giving of a banana. And since human and monkey DNA only differ by two percent, I could definitely pull the same principle on some dumb king." Said Jimmy. "Hmmm. Not bad. Sounds very intriguing! That could work!" "Of course it will! That's science-" "Oooooooohhh, I almost forgot. We have no bananas, and bananas won't be shipped to the village until next Tuesday. I wonder how he feels about pears." "It's not about the bananas. It's about the principle!" "Oh. That. Wellllll, I still protest! Something tells me that getting King Jason to talk seems very testing! The man is a stone cold tyrant!" "Is there any laws against inducing the king?" "No? At least not yet." "Has anybody ever talked to him? Other than his own royal subjects?" "I don't know. Nobody knows what happens behind those closed doors." "Then we might have a shot in this!" "I still object! It's far too dangerous up in that kingdom, and I won't let you! Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever succeeded in overthrowing the king, and is ever heard from again! As your guardian/landlord/best friend, I order you to stay put! You are not going to visit King Jason, and that's final! You hear me? You two are not- Ah, the heck with it already. You boys are just gonna continue being stubborn anyways. Not like I can just talk you out of this." "Sounds to me you need a lesson on psychology." Said Nick.

Diana then went to go fetch Nick his suit of armor, and his fake badge.

"Wait, what about me?" Asked Jimmy? "What about you?" Diana asked back. "Don't I get a disguise, too? Even if it's not a suit of armor, I'll take anything as long as I can blend in with the people. I may get a lot of stares out of this wardrobe." "Let me see what I have."

Diana looked around the hut to find something Jimmy could put on and it fits. If the boy genius walks out into the village wearing his modern civvies, he'll stand out like an alien to them. These are the type of clothes that almost got Jimmy and Nick burned at the stake. Diana eventually returned with a tiny wizard's uniform, in velvet rat, plus a hat.

"This was the only thing I could find in your size, Jimmy. It used to be Rodent Girl's Halloween costume from last year, but then shrank after Benson washed it." "How many of Rodent Girl's costumes do you keep?" Asked Nick.

Instead of complaining, Jimmy just accepted the costume, since it is his only option. Like Nick, he wore it over his clothes. It was very comfy, and it smelled like lavender. Nick envied him. Although the costume may look too small for him, he would like to make a trade.

"That costume also comes with a fake beard, if you like! Let me go grab it-" Said Diana. "Noooo, it's fine! And besides, we really should be leaving right now!" Replied Jimmy. "Ah, yes. Onward to destiny! We have a date with the king! And young man, may I ask you one more question before we head out?" "What is it?" "How do you make your hats fit?"

..............................

So Jimmy and Nick made it to the village, riding on Butterscotch's back. Jimmy sat front, while Nick was behind. Diana led the way. "Why hello, Albert!" Diana greeted a gentleman working behind a poultry stand, who had a wooden prosthetic arm. The man ducked under the counter and placed a "closed" note on top.

So, this was the village, Jimmy thought. The town had a historical aesthetic to it. It felt like walking into a Vincent Van Gogh masterpiece. This was suppose to be a horrible economy run under capitalism, but it gave off a pleasing atmosphere. It was so relaxing without any cars present, or the scent of their engine fumes. The architecture didn't look very ancient at all. Suddenly, a white rabbit, the same one from before, hopped in the way of their trail. The fluffy rodent startled Butterscotch, which caused him to kick his backside up in the air. Jimmy held on tight to the back of the horse's neck, but Nick launched off, and landed in a wheelbarrow of paint.

"My fabulous dazzlingly set of shiny paint! I hope you can pay for this, son!" Said the man, who had been dragging the wheelbarrow.

Nick got silver paint all over his armor, coating him completely. He tried to wipe it off, but it appeared to have dried so quickly. Nick looked up at the angry man. He ran back to Butterscotch, climbing onto his back and making a break for it. Diana just stood there, looking at the angry paint salesman.

"I don't know these children, I swear." Said Diana. "Hey! Hey, you two! Jimmy! Nick! Slow down and wait for me!"

..............................

22 minutes later, they entered the high class part of the village, which means they are getting closer to the kingdom. It was the same as the middle class, but much cleaner. There were so many dukes and duchess around. Everyone was neatly tailored and spotless. They were also all Caucasian and thin. Some men smoked pipes, while some women carried toy dogs. Whenever they'd catch a glance at Diana, Jimmy, and Nick, they would stuck their noses up in the air and then walk away. Suddenly, Nick started to feel superstitious.

"Jimmy, I think someone's following us." Said Nick. "The king's ruling classes?" Asked Jimmy, feeling a little worried. "No, just some little girl."

Jimmy looked back, but found no one there.

"You probably mislooked it as something else. I don't see any little girl." "But... You're probably right. After all, I did say 'I think' someone was following us. Not to sound corny, but it was probably just my imagination. We've been living in this hell hole for over a week, and now I may be loosing my mind." "Sometimes homesickness can have a huge impact on one's mental health. Don't worry, Nick. You'll be fine. Home is much closer than you think."

Little did Nick know, he wasn't seeing things. Someone was following them. But worry not. It isn't a foe.

Later, they finally found the castle. It wasn't easy to miss. Like every fairytale castle, it was surrounded by a moat, and the only way to get through is from the drawbridge, which is the opening to the castle. Nick was fascinated. Jimmy was more "meh." After all the supernatural stuff he's seen, a castle just doesn't bring him excitement. Abruptly, the four jumped behind some bushes as a couple of knights marched in an organized party, towards the castle. The drawbridge then slowly descended for them.

"Well, this is our stop. Diana, if we're not back within an hour, feel free to do.... ...what you do best." Said Jimmy. "Roger! And Godspeed to you boys!" Replied Diana, saluting the two. "Hurry, Nick. We have a bridge to catch!"

Jimmy and Nick sneaked into the party by blending in with the other knights. Jimmy hid underneath Nick's cape. As the bridge opened, everyone marched forward. The boys were able to make it inside without being suspected. None of the knights even questioned Nick's height difference. As the party continued to marched to their assigned duty, or wherever they're off to, Nick stopped in his tracks. Him and Jimmy were now alone in the main hallway.

"Okay Jimmy. We've made it."

The boy genius removed himself from under Nick's cape.

"Wow." Jimmy's voiced echoed throughout the empty room. "Okay, we've seen the king's castle. Let's go back now." Nick replied, who then tried to make an exit. "Nick! We can't! The door's already shut! And haven't you forgotten what we're here for?"

Jimmy offered Nick his hand. The tall boy became hesitant, and was blushing from the inside of his helmet. The boy genius wants to hold hands with him?

"C'mon. We've made it this far."

Nick then accepted the boy genius's offer, and let him take his hand into his. This gesture somewhat lessened Nick's fear. It reminded him how he had promised he'd do anything for Jimmy, no matter what the circumstances. His love for Jimmy helps boost his confidence. It's the same love that helped him pull through that quartz mission. Good thing the helmet came in use, because the boy genius doesn't notice Nick making a goofy, affectionate face behind it.

Hand-in-hand, the boys searched all around the castle together, opening any door that might lead them to the king, while dodging servants and royal guards. The first door they opened brought them to the kitchen, where the new cook was preparing a fowl that looked like it were still alive. The second door they opened was to a music room, although what the orchestra was practicing didn't sound like music to them. The third door was a showcase for art, full of more fantasy paintings and statues Jimmy and Nick wished they could've unseen.

"This place is huge, Nick. The king could be anywhere in this castle." "From what I've learned from all those stupid movies, kings usually sit on their butts all day in those big rooms with the stained glass windows. Do you know where that might be?" "I don't know. I've never been in a castle before. At least, not like this one. *Flashback to eight year-old Jimmy in a bouncy castle*"

Without being aware of their surroundings, they accidentally bumped into King Jason's chancellor, Richard.

"What the bloody hell are you two doing here?!" Asked Richard. "We- We're with the authority of the king!" Nick then pulled out his fake badge as proof. "If you were, I'd already know that by now! And you certainly wouldn't need to present your badge!"

The chancellor then seized the badge from Nick.

"THIS ISN'T EVEN A REAL BADGE!"

Richard took the paper badge and tore it up. Scared, Jimmy and Nick held onto each other in their arms.

"Now confess or see to the king! What are you really here for?!"

Nick responded with,

"We're banana salesmen."

...........................

Richard dragged Jimmy and Nick into the main throne room. They got what they wanted. There was King Jason, in the flesh.

"Sire! I caught these two spies wandering around your domain, posing as your authorities!" Said Richard. "That's not true! We're only here to call an appointment with the king!" Replied Jimmy. "Nobody is allowed to see the king unless on his own term!"

The king was ready to blow his fuse. Not because of the spy matter, but because Richard brought it up in the middle of his reading time. Just then, when King Jason set his eyes on the new troublemakers, he was rather surprised, like he knew them from somewhere. He put on his monocle for a moment to get a better look at the boys. It can't be. I see it, and I don't believe it. Them? A long silence filled the room.

"Sire?" "Richard! Receiveth thy filthy mitts off of the lads!" "Huh?" "Did I stutter? NOW!"

Richard released the two young boys from his grip. He expected King Jason would be angry, but not at him. Now, the king can be very merciless, regardless of what age a person is, but what did he see in these "spies" that brought him into a change of heart? King Jason smiled widely. It was more of a forced smile then a modest one. Jimmy and Nick were left confused. They thought they'd have to suffer the consequences after what they've been caught doing. Instead, the king decided to just let them off the hook easily. But why?

"What can I do for you, gentlemen?"

[afoolsingenuity]

Bite Sized Books //DNF Chronicles

I am back and I’m starting with a couple of books I’ve DNF-ed in the past few weeks. I am gradually getting better at DNF-ing books of late and I don’t always DNF for the best reasons. It’s not because a book is bad or anything, it tends to be simply because I put it down and feel no motivation to go back to until it’s been a few days and I decide to abandon all hope of finishing and just to mark it as done. Especially when I know I won’t be bothered by now knowing how a book ends. That’s the true sign I should DNF if there’s no need to know more.

You might be surprised by my reasons for DNF-ing but considering by my reading slump of late I’m all about reading only the books I can’t put down.

From Twinkle With Love – Sandhya Menon

Published: 22nd May 2018

Source: Netgalley Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance My Rating: DNF-ed 20% (approx)

The next heartwarming YA romcom from Sandhya Menon, bestselling author of WHEN DIMPLE MET RISHI.

Aspiring filmmaker and wallflower Twinkle has stories she wants to tell and universes she wants to explore - if only the world would listen. So when nerdy classmate and fellow film-obsessive Sahil Roy approaches her to direct a film for the upcoming Summer Festival, Twinkle can't wait.

The chance to showcase her artistic voice?

Dream come true.

The opportunity to get closer to longtime crush, Neil Roy- aka Sahil's twin brother?

Dream come even truer.

When Twinkle receives an email from a secret admirer - the mysterious 'N' - she is sure it's Neil, finally ready for their happy ending.

The only problem is that, in the course of their movie-making, she has found herself falling for Sahil - the wrong brother.

Twinkle soon realises that resistance is futile:

The romance she's got isn't the one she scripted...

But will it be enough?

Told through letters Twinkle writes to her favourite female filmmakers, From Twinkle, With Love navigates big truths about friendship, family, and the unexpected places love can find you.

I received this book for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affected my opinion of the book, or the content of my review.

I know what you’re all thinking, I DNF-ed From Twinkle With Love?! What’s wrong with me? I was just as excited as everyone else for a new Sandhya Menon release. I thought it sounded so interesting and was totally a book I was excited to read.

And then I started it and I was still optimistic.

And then I was about 20% of the way in and I was making excuses to not read and I finally had to accept DNF-ing was the only way forward. I was not enjoying myself and I’ve always believed in DNF-ing when I’m not enjoying it.

I admit, I normally prefer to read a little bit further into a book before DNF-ing as I so believe in giving a book a fair chance… especially as a lot of books can get better the further in you get, they just need a little time to warm up. That might have been the chase for this one, but I wasn’t waiting around to find out.

The biggest problems for me were the characters. I didn’t like Twinkle all that much. I didn’t like her friend. I wasn’t even interested in Neil. And Sahil? He looked like he had the potential to be adorable just like Rishi was in his book… but I didn’t like Twinkle so I didn't stay to find out. I know Twinkle probably would have grown and developed into someone I liked but I just don’t know. I am not known for my patience and I just kept rolling my eyes at Twinkle and thinking ‘seriously’. I was probably too harsh on her really, there were things which I liked about her… but my annoyance at her overshadowed all of that.

I also didn’t like the diary style of writing. It was a diary/letter type storytelling and I didn’t realise that going in (because who has time to read book summaries nowadays?) and I think because I was expecting standard storytelling that threw me a little. And it was cute, but it also made it more difficult to connect with all the characters. Maybe this book would have worked better for me as an audiobook or something? I don’t know, but I think the writing style probably put me off a little too. It just wasn’t for me.

The book wasn’t bad. It’s not like there was anything bad about it, but it was a case of it not being for me. I think a combination of small things all piled together to make it so I simply couldn’t get into the book and had to put it to one side. It sucks, maybe the hype was too high. I’ll still be checking out Menon’s next book, though.

Dragon Bound Races #1) – Thea Harrison

Published: 16th June 2011

Source: Purchased

Genre: Romance, Paranormal Romance

My Rating: Dnf-ed 40%

Half-human and half-wyr, Pia Giovanni spent her life keeping a low profile among the wyrkind and avoiding the continuing conflict between them and their Dark Fae enemies. But after being blackmailed into stealing a coin from the hoard of a dragon, Pia finds herself targeted by one of the most powerful - and passionate - of the Elder Races.

As the most feared and respected of the wyrkind, Dragos Cuelebre cannot believe someone had the audacity to steal from him, much less succeed. And when he catches the thief, Dragos spares her life, claiming her as his own to further explore the desire they've ignited in one another.

I read this because it’s been sat unread on my Kindle for about two years and then I discovered that it was on the AAR Top 100 Romance list so I really had to get reading it. I admit, I probably should have waited a little while before reading this one because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for it but I knew I fancied some kind of romance/fantasy type read. It just sucks this one wasn’t for me.

I DNF-ed at about 40% this time around. It’s safe to say I gave this one plenty of chance. Why did I DNF? Mostly the overbearingness of the love interest, Dragos. Look, being an alpha male is no excuse for being a dick, you know? He wasn’t terrible, I’ve seen worse alpha males in books, but I just got fed up of his general maleness, I think. It’s been a little while since I DNF-ed it so I don’t remember all the specifics on the why, I just remember the alphaness got to me. And the romance was just…meh. Like, I liked Pia and I was interested in her past but I just didn’t care to keep reading.

Apathy to the story in general is probably why I stopped reading. It wasn’t anything wrong with it, I just didn’t care to keep trying. I wasn’t interested enough and eventually I didn’t get back around to picked the book up and finishing it and I’m okay with that. Not every book works for everyone. This one was one of them for me.

Have you read either of these books? What were your thoughts? And what are your reasons for DNF-ing a book?

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