#you’re giving me an idea for an adjacent loop universe

[justkillingthyme]

Been thinking about DL!Hershel and what he would do if someone managed to find out his looping ability and like. Tortured him or whatever. Like Anton, or some new antagonist

Oh boy this is my specialty (<has a different au where Hershel gets Actually Tortured multiple times).

I’m going to set this under a cut in case I manage to get A Little Too Silly and in depth on torture. And also there will be suicide mentions as always with DL

If someone managed to figure out his ability, it would only be because they’re tied (and thus the other person dies with him each time. And vice versa) cause his ass wouldn’t tell anyone otherwise.

The other condition for a looping torture here (intentional) would be that the person has him at the beginning of a checkpoint. To the point where he can’t escape.

Then and only then is it perfect for intentional torture

(Yes he also goes through nonintentional torture. Where he has repeated deaths in similar situations without the other person being aware. He also just straight up kills himself repeatedly a lot.)

Whether or not the other person is soul bonded to feel the exact pain could be interesting to explore, but in this scenario of torture it’s probably the case that they simply reset at the same point.

Mystery New Antagonist would probably be a person with a serious vendetta against him. My assumption would be that it could have been minor, but they definitely blame him for their shared situation. For the repeated resets and death over and over and over and over and over and over

It would drive anyone insane! And Hershel could have prevented it.

So they’re going to make him feel it. Make him feel that pain of going back again and again until your mind is broken.

And if Hershel escapes? They could simply kill themself to reset the both of them.

[mspa-music-analysis]

Beyond Canon - exclusion zone

alright first song in the Beyond Canon album, exclusion zone. lets break it up. 

PERSONAL THOUGHTS/LISTENING EXPERIENCE

I got literal fucking shivers. Holy shit. Holy shit. The first twenty seconds of this song is it’s own fucking experience. When the vocals come in at 00:46 I feel as though I am standing on a craggy cliff face, maybe on a mountain, the sky is grey, there’s mist and magic in the air, and I should be dreading something. I feel like taking a deep breath and preparing to see an army coming up over the adjacent hill. I feel like I’m about to go up against something huge. 

When I first clicked on the new Homestuck album in disbelief, double checking the release date, I wasn’t expecting much. Sure Homestuck music is utterly wonderful, but I’ve never been able to listen to instrumentals very well, they don’t capture my attention without lyrics to focus on. but hearing the first few notes of this song. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I am not the same man. Oh my god. This first minute is what got me to listen to this entire album in one sitting.

At 1:00 you hear a muffled voice and the sound of breaking glass, and it feels like the illusion of nature and magic and dread shatters. A robotic voice chimes in ‘you just made a monster’ and you get it, for just a second. You feel like something terrible has happened and you have no idea how the fuck you’re going to pick up the pieces. This song sets the stage for the album, and it makes anticipation thrum through your bones, especially on the first listen. 

The latter half of the song is letting this feeling sink in, letting your anticipation, your excitement, your dread, grow into a magnificent beast. As the last bit cycles you feel your heartbeat quicken, your breath catch, and you just have to sit there for a second. Holy shit. This song feels like saying ‘holy shit’ in reverence. Over and over again.

The ending feels like you have no idea what the fuck you’re getting into. All you can do is click onto the next song. 

INSTRUMENTAL/VOCAL ANALYSIS

I’m no musical expert, but I’m going to try to explain this as well as I can. Music snobs, sorry, experts, please remember I am but a humble fool who has never taken a music class beyond fifth grade. An amateur if you will. 

I’m going to be using the word synth so fucking much in these, aren’t I. I’m torn between some sort of string, a synth, or an organ playing the opening notes, and I’m fairly sure it’s the synth. Homestuck music wouldn’t be Homestuck music for not the synth. 

The synth, as I am going to call it despite how unsure I am that it is one, immediately gives you an overwhelming cathedral feeling. You get a little while to marinate in this feeling before the vocals chime in. The vocals and the synth meld so beautifully into each other, they feel so natural coming together. There’s a moment where you say ‘yay! vocals in a Homestuck song!’ which will later seem oh so ironic. 

Then, in a change of tone, a muffled, hard to understand, male-sounding voice pops in. It sounds like a frantic report, breaking news, or a call for backup. It could sound to some like officials chasing dangerous dissenters, and to others a discreet warning to fellow rebels that the brass are coming. I tried so fucking hard to get an audio editing program to pick this shit apart, but I have a Chromebook for some godforsaken reason. Sorry, folks, we’ll have to see if anyone replies to my tweet with our answers. For reasons, which are definitely real actual reasons with no attachment to aesthetics, I am going to call this voice ‘the radio’. 

Directly after the infuriating piece of walky-talky Esq vocals, there’s a sound of breaking glass. I think perhaps that is my favorite moment in the entire track, if not the entire album. Not to assign too much meaning to a singular bit of sound, but it feels like every expectation I had for Homestuck music was completely shattered. Like the glass ceiling that prevented Homestuck music from becoming legendary because it was just a shitty web-comic (which was already untrue) is broken through with just the first half of this song. Does that make sense? In short, this album really is on an entire other level of music entirely, and it knows it. This is possibly supported by the album cover, which is Ultimate Dirk sitting in a pile of previous Homestuck album covers. Must I explain this one? (I will if you ask, really. I’m perhaps a bit too eager, in fact.)

Directly after the glass shatters, more instruments join in. I think these are also synths? It sounds techy, it sounds dystopian. You know when people say techno is just beeps and boops? Yeah, there’s a lot of beeps and boops in this, and frankly, I love it. Then, another distorted, techy, mechanical, feminine?, voice pops in saying ‘you just made a monster’. I’m going to call this voice the monster, but not necessarily because I think they are the monster, and I will elaborate on this later. This is my second favorite moment in the track. It’s just. Wow. Breathtaking. The monster repeats for a while, the rest of the song. The third time, an almost more human sounding, but not by much, monster joins in. There’s an air of indignance, of anger, desperation, vengeance. It sounds like there’s another phrase buried under some sounds there, at 1:28? I absolutely can not make it out for the life of me, and it is driving me crazy. 

The monster is chopped up and distributed evenly throughout the rest of the song, quite fucking marvelously. At 1:39 there’s a pause in the instrumental, and for just a second, you’re left with this steady note sung by the monster. It’s haunting. I didn’t notice it my first few listen throughs, but now that I’ve been sitting here looping the track, I can’t help but hear it. It definitely gives me a feeling, but I haven’t decided what that feeling is yet. 

The sound bits that sound like a broken robot, or another voice saying ‘anoyie’ over and over, are quite possibly going to drive me insane. I find myself desperately needing to hear where the fuck these audio bytes came from. I need to hear the originals. I do not care if they are random mouth noises. My curiosity is insatiable. I am fairly sure it is just the monster cut to hell, but there’s just something nagging at me saying otherwise. I don’t know, perhaps I’m finally going insane from looping the robot song for two hours. 

I don’t love the ending? There’s one last monster repeat, a sort of clapping sound (an interesting change of pace), silence for half a second, more of that damned ‘anoyie’ and I am further convinced it is not the monster, and then nothing. It isn’t quite unsatisfying, but it isn’t satisfying either. It is most certainly an ending. I can say for a fact there are instruments in the ending. And that’s all I have to say on that.

HERE’S WHERE SHIT GETS CRAZY

Alright, time to sound like a madman. Here is where I am going to assign arbitrary Homestuck-related, possibly plot-related, meaning. Take all of this with a grain of salt and forgive my overuse of phrases like ‘I feel’ and ‘I think’. 

So, putting the song in the context of the album title ‘Beyond Canon’, and therefore most likely The Epilogues and Homestuck^2, I do indeed have a few theories. Not all make a whole lot of sense, and a few are based quite heavily on ‘feelings’ and ‘vibes’. I hated putting vibes in quotes, never make me do that again. To start with, the beginning, before the radio, reminds me very much of Ultimate Dirk (Ult. Dirk), Terezi, and RoseBot on that new planet. Perhaps because of the air of desolation, not in relation to the note, and foreboding? Perhaps because I have assigned an air of forced serenity to this part, and I very much feel like Ult. Dirk is trying to force serenity onto his section of the narrative, despite what’s coming his way? Hm. Much to think about. 

The radio, I cannot puzzle out exactly. DaveBot, perhaps? Trying to break through from the Candy universe and coming out muffled? I don’t have much to go on, and I am waiting until I have figured out exactly what the radio is actually saying. 

The glass shattering. Oh, the glass shattering. Fenestrated plane, anyone? The fourth wall, anyone? Good god, shattered glass + Homestuck = SHIT IS GOING DOWN. This makes me very excited. It could just be metaphorical, as I was saying before, but I very much have a feeling that things are going to get that particular brand of very Homestuck fucked soon. And I am oh so excited. 

The monster! Oh, how I love the monster. There’s so many things I can see the monster being, as well as referencing. Lets get right the fuck into it. First! The Auto Responder, or Lil’ Hal. You know how every splinter and alternate self combines to create the Ultimate Self? (I have so many theories about this, oh my god, I might make an entire other blog for more Homestuck analysis) Well, what if it isn’t a perfect meld? Dirk is a Prince, after all, a destroyer. There’s no way, however Ultimate he may be, he’s perfect and whole. What if specific splinters find their way to shine through? Like, for instance, Hal accusing Dirk of making a monster out of all his iterations. I know, it’s far fetched, and I took quite a few liberal steps to get there. But just perhaps.

A not so wild theory is an obvious one, I think. The monster is Rosebot. It’s vaguely feminine, robot-y, and references a recent creation. Rose’s consciousness breaking through Dirk’s command? Seems likely to me. 

A third! Perhaps it’s DaveBot? It seems less likely than the RoseBot theory, due simply to the femininity of the voice, but at the same time it seems like DaveBot would be more likely to fight Dirk’s control of his personal narrative, if only because we haven’t seen his robot form be entirely complicit yet. Either way, I doubt this one. I just want it on the record in case I’m right. *wink*. (I refuse to use a winky face in a semi-serious analysis, it just feels wrong.)

And this one isn’t really a theory, but I keep coming back to it. Is anyone else reminded of AradiaBot? Especially that second of the monster just singing with no instrumental. I can give no explanation except for a feeling. I wasn’t going to include this, but, well, trust your gut or something. Maybe she’ll come back and my random thought will be justified. 

Now, do I think this will be used in Homestuck^2 as a flash at some point. Short answer: I don’t know. Long and less shitty answer: I feel as though it could go either way! I can’t really see a song with vocals like this getting a flash, if only because it’s very straightforward and I don’t know if you can jam a whole lot of plot into this song, unlike some of the others. That said, it would be just like Homestuck to completely blow away my expectations and jam the entire ending into it. Hey, Homestuck? Please don’t do that. I love Act 7, I really do, but also just please don’t. Ever again, thank you. 

Maybe Meat Kanaya will liberate RoseBot from Ult. Dirk’s control and this song will play as she beats the shit out of him. I would like that, I think. 

CONCLUSIONS

Personal Rating: Holy Shit 

Objective Musical Rating: Robots Have Never Sounded So Vengeful And I Love It

Plot-Relevance Rating: It’s Possible But The Outlook Isn’t Good, Chief 

Would It Stand On Its Own?: Fuck Yes It Would. I Sang This When I Came Out Of The Womb.

did u nut tho: yuh

[master-sass-blast]

Found Family, Part One --Wade.

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS ONE. I HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS PIECES FOR M O N T H S.

Summary: A brief look at yours and Wade’s siblingship, and all that it entails.

Rating: T for adult language, mentions of abuse/mental health issues/suicide, and mild angst.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader and Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson.

@marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie

Some say that the two of you together are a disaster. A cruel joke by the universe unfairly cast upon the rest of society. A recipe for total destruction.

You know better than to buy into what any of the bystanders and onlookers say. The two of you, while admittedly destructive, are like air to each other; without one another, neither of you would be able to survive.

Wade Wilson is your –adoptive—brother, you’re his –adoptive—sister, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The technical beginning of your wonderful sibling-ship with Wade Wilson starts when you help him prank Scott Summers in the dead of night, but that’s not where things really started. At least, not in your view of things.

No, they start the next day, when Wade knocks on your door half an hour before noon. He’s dressed in the most outrageous, neon pink and green Hawaiian shirt, orange camo jeggings, and bright, ‘fuck you’ blue Crocs.

“You eat lunch yet?” he asks, seemingly oblivious to the way your eyes are blinking their protest at the amalgamation of colors he’s wearing.

“Uh… no?”

“Great!” He loops an arm around your shoulders and steers you down the hall. “Let’s go get some! I’m buying.”

Dopinder, as it turns out, is a sweet and gentle soul –despite his weird thirst for vengeance. He drives the two of you to a downtown diner –and takes Wade’s weirdness with considerable grace and stride, which isn’t something you’ve witnessed from anyone else yet—and drops you off with the promise to wait until the two of you are done eating.

“I’m pretty sure you’re shafting his ability to earn a livable income,” you say as a waitress seats you and Wade at a booth adjacent to a window.

Wade snorts. “As if. One, I tip him in chicken nuggets, which is more than anyone else ever does. B, I’m helping him get into the mercenary industry, which pays way better than driving a fucking taxi ever will. And four, he doesn’t mind.”

You open your menu, start scanning the options, then freeze.

There’s so many choices –fuck, you’ve never even eaten out at a proper restaurant before. Your parents were too focused on ‘keeping you safe’ to let you have a proper childhood, dammit.

“Don’t know what to do?” The corner of Wade’s mouth turns up when you give him a ‘deer in headlights’ look. “I figured you probably didn’t have much experience with this. Russell didn’t either. Consider today your crash course in ‘how the world works.’”

“…Thanks.” You look down at the menu quickly to hide the tears that are already blurring your vision. “Uh, what do I get?”

“Whatever you want! They do all day breakfast here, and –in my opinion—there’s no bad time to eat a pancake.”

You smile. Pancakes do sound good. You peruse the menu for a moment longer, and the waitress is back to take your orders.

Wade orders a mountain of food. If he notices the way the waitress’s eyes bug out while he rattles off his insanely long order, he doesn’t let it stop him. He just keeps going, and her pen keeps flying across the page of her little book.

When he finishes, she turns to you, looking somewhat shell-shocked. “And for you, sweetheart?”

You copy Wade’s method of ordering –but not the length of his order. “Pancakes, bacon on the side, extra maple syrup, please.”

The look of relief on her face is almost comical as she jots that down. She promises to have everything out “as quick as possible,” then takes your menus and walks away.

Wade grins at you. “Look at you. You’re a natural!”

You can’t help but grin back.

You spend the rest of the day with Wade –and Dopinder, since he has to drive the two of you around. Wade takes you to various stores, having you buy yourself something –a book, a movie, a scarf—at each place so you can get used to interacting with people and handling monetary transactions.

You’re touched in a way that you can’t begin to describe. Sure, Professor Xavier and his team of mutants can help you get your mutation-related abilities under control, but no one’s offered to help you integrate into the real world yet. It’s like Wade’s thrown you a life-line you didn’t realize you needed.

When Dopinder drops the two of you off at the mansion, Colossus is waiting for you on the front step, arms crossed over his massive chest and a disapproving frown set on his face. “Taking young ones of property without permission is not allowed, Wade. You know this.”

“Okay, first of all, she’s not a ‘young one;’ she’s over eighteen, which means she’s allowed to come and go as she pleases. Even I know enough law stuff to know that. Secondly—”

“We’ll try to give you a head’s up next time, Colossus,” you interject before things can too far out of hand. “Sorry for making you worry.”

His expression softens considerable as his gaze switches over to you. “That is reasonable. Did you have nice day out?”

You smile and nod. “Yeah. Wade showed me around New York. It was cool.”

“See? I’m cool. Relax, Chrome Dome. I know what I’m doing.”

Colossus shakes his head, but he’s still smiling. “We will make X-Man of you yet, Wade.”

Wade’s full attention turns to you as the metal giant turns and heads back inside. “You were all smiles with him, huh?���

You narrow your eyes at Wade. “So what? Smiling is a normal human thing!”

“Sure,” Wade says, drawing out the ‘u.’ “You like him, don’t you?”

“Only as much as you like Cable!”

It’s Wade’s turn to narrow his eyes. “I do not like Cable. I merely have a ‘healthy fascination’ with him and his metal arm. And his awesome gun.”

You smile sweetly at Wade and step inside. “Glad we’ve got that all settled, then.”

Wade pretty well takes you under his wing after that. The two of you have the same penchant for wild mischief –and fucking with Scott Summers—so it’s no surprise that you get along like ducks and water.

But what no one else notices –which, admittedly, is probably because they’re so used to cleaning up after yours and Wade’s hijinks—is that Wade does more than just rope you into his nonsense.

The two of you need to run to a store to pick up supplies for your latest prankster endeavor? He has you make a list, estimate how much it’ll cost, keep track of the route on Dopinder’s GPS, and puts you in charge of navigating the store while you track down everything you need.

He gets bored of being cooped up in the mansion? He takes you out for an adventure, teaches you how to navigate streets and pick out safe places to duck into if you run into trouble.

He buys you your first laptop and cellphone, shows you how to customize everything for “maximum fun.” (And, when his knowledge runs out, he just sets you down in front of Ellie and has her teach you how to be safe on the Internet and how to avoid getting ten thousand viruses on your computer.)

The man makes sure you get a proper sex-ed course. Not one where he just cracks inappropriate jokes –though there are a lot of those going around—but a real one. The ins and outs of consent, how to avoid getting STDs, basic anatomy, how to spot cancer on both sets of genitals.

And it’s all of this that leaves you convinced that Wade Wilson is one of the smartest persons you’ve ever met.

It’s not hard to learn how to read Wade Wilson. Once you get past all the shock value of the jokes, vulgar language, and weird habits, he’s an open book that has its heart on its cover.

He’s lonely. Not the creepy, ‘I’m forty years old and I’m lonely so I spend a lot of time with people half my age’ lonely, mind you. He’s just… lonely. Sad, even.

He hates his skin. That much is obvious from all the long sleeves and layers he wears, even in the dead of summer. And while you don’t see anything wrong with the way he looks, he does, and that’s the only opinion that matters in his book.

Wade Wilson is also a man that wrestles with a lot of demons. His healing factor didn’t cure him of his cancer, so he faces excruciating pain on a daily basis. The loss of his girlfriend –who stuck with him after he got fucked over by Francis and turned into ‘an avocado that got fucked by an older avocado’—is a gaping hole in his chest that he doesn’t know how to plug. His self-loathing is a constant presence in his mind, and the amount of skin he covers is a decent giveaway for just how much he’s hating himself at a given moment.

He kills himself because he “can’t really die.”

And it’s when you watch Colossus and a few other X-Men deal with the aftermath of one of Wade’s “visits to Vanessa” that you decide that this crazy man might need you as much as you need him.

You happen to catch a glimpse of him in the hall a few days later, decked out in his Deadpool suit.

There’s only two reasons Wade wears that suit: he’s getting ready for a fight, or he’s in the pits of self-hatred (or both). But he doesn’t have his swords on him, which means he’s not gearing up for a fight—

You dart down the hall and latch onto one of his arms. “Hey, dude! I just had this great idea that we have to try.”

“Well, don’t keep me waiting, Aang!” Wade chirps back –but his voice is heavily strained, and, yep, you were right about his mental state. “What do we just have to try?”

You don’t actually have an idea on hand, so you just blurt the first thing that pops into your head. “Dessert burritos.”

Wade cocks his head back and considers the idea for a moment. “Dessert… burritos. Holy shit, you’re a genius.”

You grin –his tone’s brighter, lighter, which means you’ve managed to pull him out of his funk a little.

He grabs your hand and starts skipping down the hallway. “To the kitchen!”

Operation “Dessert Burritos” ends in nothing short of a disaster. You and Wade try to make pancakes to act as tortillas, and since neither of you can cook anything other than instant noodles, you wind up burning every attempt at you make. Three flaming skillets get chucked out the back door and two more are doused under the kitchen sink faucet before the two of you decide to call it quits on the ‘pancake’ alley.

So, then, the next logical step seems to be ice cream sundaes –except that Wade is still stuck on the ‘burrito’ concept, so he tries to wrap ice cream in a regular tortilla, which winds up tasting terrible for obvious reason, so Wade spits it out in the trashcan, except he misses part of his target and winds up spraying the front of the can with half his mouthful of ice cream and tortilla.

And then the two of you wind up unpacking the fridge and most of the pantry to find “sundae appropriate toppings” because Colossus is a health nut who keeps the kitchen stocked with healthy things—

And then Wade wants to try microwaving Gushers because why not, and you’ve never been one to say no to an opportunity to do something you’ve never done before—

And thus is all the chaos Colossus walks in on when he pops his head into the kitchen to see what the two of you are up to.

You’re eating fudge ripple ice cream straight out of the carton with a serving spoon, perched on the kitchen. You wave at him with the spoon as his face goes slack with shock. “Hey, dude! What’s up?”

Wade’s swearing up a storm while he tries to get molten Gusher remains off his face –he’d opted to take his mask off while he ate, and you’re suspecting that he’s regretting that decision now.

Colossus covers his face with both his hands and groans. “Wade—”

“Hey, man,” you interject before he can lambaste your honorary sibling too badly. “This was one hundred percent my idea. Don’t worry, we’ll get it all cleaned up. It’ll be like it never happened, I promise.” You pause, then add “Well, the gushers in the microwave was Wade’s idea. He’s on his own for that.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“Hey, I told you not to stick your face into the microwave, but no, Pikachu knows everything!”

Colossus just sighs and shakes his head. “You two are destructive.”

“Hey, at least we didn’t short circuit the microwave this time!” You offer him an impish smile. “We’re doing better than we usually do.”

He puts his hands on his hips, looking every bit the stern father –but the corner of his mouth turns up as he shakes his head again. “I suppose you are correct.”

“Yupp. Like I said, don’t worry. We’ll totally handle the clean up and everything.”

He casts a concerned, appraising look around the kitchen, but still favors you with a small smile when his gaze finally settles on you again. “Well, I suppose I leave you both to it, then.”

The two of you have to spend the rest of the day cleaning and scrubbing to get the kitchen back in order. Wade’s none too happy about it, but you do your best to make it bearable for him –music, banter, the works.

And, bonus, cleaning with him means he has to stay with you, which means he can’t wallow in self-loathing. He’s not his bright, bubbly self, but he’s not falling apart either, which is a win in your book.

It’s dark out by the time the two of you finish getting everything put away. Normally, you’d just call it a day, but it’s not hard to see the darkness swimming behind Wade’s eyes—

“Hey, man, you wanna have a sleepover in the rec room tonight?”

Wade gasps, and his eyes genuinely light up. “Sleepovers are my favorite!”

You grin. “They’re my favorite, too! Come on, go get changed and I’ll meet you there. You still need to catch me up on all the reality TV stuff.”

The two of you are getting the rec room set up for the night when you hear Colossus’s heavy footsteps in the hall.

You pat Wade’s shoulder before hopping over the couch. “I’ll deal with him. Pick out something for us to watch. I’ll be back in five, ten minutes max.”

The metal giant himself is in the kitchen, checking up on everything before he goes to bed, it would seem.

You watch him for a couple moments –you don’t miss the surprised expression on his face at the orderly state of the kitchen, either—before making your presence known. “Making sure we held up our end of things?”

The expression on his face is guilty when he looks over his shoulder at you.

“It’s fine,” you chuckle as you step into the kitchen, holding up your hands in a disarming gesture. “I would if I were you, too.”

He ducks his head a little, but he’s smiling. “I do not wish to seem judgmental.” He looks past you –or, rather, over you—and frowns at the glow of the TV. “You two are still up?”

You glance over your shoulder, then step closer to the man of metal and lower your voice. “Wade’s had a rough day today. I just… I don’t want to leave him alone, you know?”

Understanding settles on Colossus’s steel features; he nods. “Da.”

“We’re just gonna hang out for the night, have a sleepover,” you add. “No more kitchen adventures –speaking of which, one of the skillets was not salvageable.”

Colossus huffs out a gentle laugh, crosses his arms over his massive chest, and shakes his head. “Somehow, I am not surprised.”

“You gotta admit, it’s better than our usual levels of collateral damage.”

“I suppose.” He smiles softly at you for a moment before clearing his throat and looking away. “Well, I leave you both to it.”

“Thanks. Goodnight, Colossus.”

“Rest well, Y/N.”

You watch him go for a minute –watch the way the muscles in his back and shoulders ripple as he walks—before you shake yourself out of the daze Colossus never fails to put you in and head back to Wade. “All taken care of. We’re free to poison our brains with reality TV drama all we want!”

Wade doesn’t look up at you when you walk in. He’s seated on the middle of the couch, jaw tight and lips pursed as he stares ahead at the TV screen. “I don’t need your fucking pity.”

You blink, shocked by the sudden outburst and his surly mood. It doesn’t take much to put together that he probably heard your conversation in the kitchen –Colossus’s voice always carries—but even if he didn’t it’s not too far out of Wade’s “normal” for him to assume that he’s only getting the scraps of what decent treatment he deserves.

Either way, you’re not having this argument. Not now, not ever.

You put your hands on your hips and fix him with a stern look. “Good, because I’m not giving you any.”

Your sharp tone makes his eyes widen, and he actually looks away from the glowing screen to stare at you.

“I don’t know if you noticed, dumbass,” you continue, tossing in a mild insult to help him figure out you’re serious, “but I care about you. You’re the one person in this mansion that made sure I’d be able to function in the real world if I had to, and I’ll be damned if I’m just gonna let you flounder when you’re feeling down. And that’s not pity, jackass. It’s called being a decent fucking human being. Got it?”

“Pretty sure it’s pity when the person isn’t obligated to care about you,” Wade throws back, smiling bitterly.

And you understand where he’s coming from. After Vanessa died, all the help he’s been getting has come from the X-Men, and how can it not look like a pity handout when the people helping you have their lives and themselves so extraordinarily put together?

You’ve felt the same way about it on more than one sleepless night.

You let out an irritated huff and cross your arms over your chest. “Fine. I’m hereby adopting you as my brother. Now, as your new sister, I’m obligated to care about you. Are we doing this sleepover or what?”

Wade blinks at you, then grins. It’s tired, and it’s worn down, but it’s not bitter.

You’ll take it.

“Hell yeah we are.” He scoots over so you can sit next to him. “These are reruns of ‘Say Yes to the Dress.’ This one’s the ‘Bridezilla’ edition.”

“Sweet.” You plop down on the couch just in time to see a particularly distraught bride-to-be throw a fascinator at her mother. “Holy shit.”

“Just wait,” Wade says, all too gleeful. “It gets better.”

You wake up in the gray pre-dawn of the next day and nearly smack your head into Wade’s.

The two of you had taken half the couch each, with heads in the middle so you could hear each other talk and avoid kicking each other in the middle of the night.

Wade’s still asleep, one hand holding onto one of yours.

The sight makes you smile, makes you feel a little less despair over the state of the world.

You squeeze his hand, then nudge his head when he doesn’t stir. “Wake up, idiot.”

Wade groans. “Too early.”

“Yeah, which is why I’m putting you back to bed.” You tug him off the couch and walk him towards the main staircase. “Come on. Your ancient back needs a proper mattress.”

“Not ancient.”

“Yes, you are, you geriatric motherfucker.”

You manage to get him up the stairs and to his room without incident. He drops into his bed with a grunt, and you tuck a blanket around him and wait for him to start snoring again.

And then you get to work.

It takes a couple minutes, but you manage to find all the guns and knives Wade keeps on him while at the Institute. You tuck the numerous weapons into your arms, then pad out of his room.

Colossus is in the hall –already dressed for the day, the morning bird. He frowns, concerned, when he sees your armload of weaponry. “What—”

“Don’t worry,” you toss over your shoulder as you walk precisely one door to the left. “I’m not using them.” You kick the door a couple times with your foot, then step back and wait.

Nathan Summers, alias Cable, opens the door a few seconds later. He takes one good look at the guns and knives in your arms, then raises an eyebrow at you as if to say ‘what the fuck do you want me to do with those?’

“Wade’s been in a mood,” you say, as if that explains everything –which, technically, it does. “And you actually know how to store these properly.”

He sighs, but doesn’t look too put-out about it, and opens the door more. “Bring them in.”

You dump the arsenal on his bed when he motions for you to do so, watch as he puts gunlocks on the various firearms and tucks the knives and other bladed weapons into the top drawer of his nightstand.

Colossus watches from the hall, hovering nervously in a way that should not be possible for someone of his side.

“If you’re cool with it, I’m gonna leave a note for Wade to let him know to see you if he wants his shit back,” you say as Nathan tucks Wade’s guns into a duffel bag. “He probably won’t be up before noon.”

Nathan sighs, but nods anyway. “Not like I’m going anywhere else.”

“Thanks,” you say, and you mean it. “I wouldn’t have known what to do with all this.”

“Anytime, kid.”

Colossus watches you carefully as you walk back into the hall and close Nathan’s door behind you. “You… care a great deal for Wade.”

It’s not hard to hear the unspoken question, mostly because it’s easy to see how someone might confuse the easy camaraderie you and Wade have always had for something else. Something… less platonic.

You shrug and tell the truth. “He’s my brother.”

Finding out that Colossus –Piotr, his name is Piotr, and you think you could spend the rest of your life saying his name without ever getting tired of how it feels on your lips—likes you is a world-changing revelation.

You know by the looks Wade keeps sending you throughout lunch, the afternoon, and dinner that he’s going to want a full report on everything that’s happened with Piotr.

You can’t wait to give him one.

You also can’t help but notice the way that the door to Wade’s room is cracked open and the lights are on as Piotr walks you back to your room –ostensibly so you know he’s ‘in’ and will pop in to give him the full rundown, but probably also so he can eavesdrop, the little shit.

But you can’t find it in yourself to care all that much because Piotr’s hand is holding yours and you can’t imagine ever feeling anything better than what you’re feeling right now.

He walks you to your door, smiles fondly down at you. “I have work tonight. I doubt I will see you before morning.”

“So you’re ‘saying goodnight just in case?’” You ask, smiling back as giddy excitement coils in your stomach.

“Something like that, da.” And then he dips his head and presses his lips against yours.

You can’t help but gasp, just a little, and lift your hand to his shoulder to steady yourself.

The kiss ends all to soon –for your liking and Piotr’s, if the look he gives you is anything to go by.

He presses his forehead against yours before stepping back. “Goodnight, myshka.”

“Goodnight, Piotr.” You let your fingers slip from his as he walks away and watch him as he retreats down the hall.

He looks over his shoulder before he turns the corner to head downstairs. He smiles when he sees you watching, and blows you a kiss before disappearing from view—

And then, right on cue, Wade opens his door and grins at you.

You just cover your face with your hands and let out an excited squeal. You’re too excited to be annoyed with Wade, dammit.

He tugs you in his room. “I have snacks. Now, tell me everything.”

The two of you talk for hours, demolishing several bags of fun-sized candies and two packages of Keebler Fudgestripes.

“No fucking way!” Wade brays. “He was pet-naming you for the better part of a year? What a dork!”

“Well, he’s my dork now, so mind your mouth.” You grin stupidly, then squeal as you fall over onto Wade’s bed.

“Oh my gosh, you’re so cute I could die.”

There’s a knock on the doorframe, and Piotr –still out of defense mode, which is gonna take some serious getting used to—pokes his head into Wade’s room. “You are still up?” He frowns when he sees the numerous wrappers covering Wade’s bed. “Did you eat all that?”

You giggle at your boyfriend. “Kinda. We got carried away.”

He shakes his head in an all-too-familiar disapproving gesture, but an amused smile plays at his lips. “Is not good to consume so much sugar this late, myshka. You will be up half of night.”

“Unless I find a way to burn it off.” You grin at him. “Mind accompanying me on a late night stroll?”

He smiles softly at you. “Konechno –of course.”

“God, you two are so barf-worthy,” Wade gushes as you hop off his bed. “I love it.”

You catch Nathan in the hall as Piotr escorts you towards the stairs.

He smirks at the two of you, presumably having gotten an update from Wade and Ellie. “Going somewhere?”

“Just for a walk.” You jerk your head back towards Wade’s room, where light is still spilling into the hallway from his open door. “I bet he could use some company right now.”

Nathan shakes his head and mutters something that sounds like ‘clingy’ under his breath, but he stills strides over to Wade’s room anyway. He pauses at the doorway, frowning. “Did you eat all of that?”

“Yes, he did!” you shout. “You should have seen it; it was horrifying!”

“Lies!” Wade shouts back from his room. “Lies, lies, all fucking lies and slander!”

Piotr chuckles and tugs on your hand. “Come, myshka. Before you get into more trouble.”

You grin as you follow him down the stairs. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Watching Nate finally –finally—kiss Wade is like getting to the end of a good slow-burn book. You’ve loved watching the build-up, loved placing bets with everyone else on when those two would finally get their heads out of their asses and realize they were basically dating already, but God it’s such a relief to see them actually do something other than flirt with each other.

And one good turn deserves another, which is why you dig a box of maple sugar candies that you’d been saving for Wade’s birthday out of your dresser drawer and head over to Wade’s room.

Nathan’s already in there, holding Wade in his arms as they snuggle on Wade’s bed.

You can’t help but grin. “God, you two are so barf worthy. I love it.”

Wade sticks his tongue out at you. “We’re gonna give you and Metallica a run for your ‘hashtag goals’ money. Just you watch.”

“Good fucking luck.” You gesture at him with the box. “Wanna give me the ‘full rundown? I brought snacks.”

“I never say no to snacks.” He makes grabby hands for the box, then gasps softly when he sees the label. “Where’d you get these?”

“Vermont. The school took the kids on a field trip to a maple syrup farm. They’re the real deal.”

Wade tears the box open with all the delicacy of a rabid badger. “You do love me.”

“Always have, bro.”

Nathan frowns down at the little candies shaped like maple leaves. “The fuck are those?”

“Only the best thing on the face of the damn planet.” Wade holds one up to his boyfriend’s mouth. “Open up, sweetcheeks.”

Nate bites off part of the candy. His eyes widen immediately, and he spits the lump of melting sugar out onto a tissue. “Fuck. Too sweet.”

Wade gasps. “I’ll have you know that, as a Canadian, you’ve just committed a heresy. I’m sorry, we’re gonna have to see other people.”

Nathan snorts as he chucks his tissue into a nearby wastebasket. “Can’t get rid of me that easy, gorgeous.”

You can’t help but smile as Wade nuzzles Nate’s shoulder affectionately. “I just wanna say: I fucking told you so.”

“Shut up,” Wade shoots back. “You did not.”

“Wade, how long did I tell you that he liked you? How fucking long?”

“Yeah, well how long did I tell you that our resident steel boyscout liked you?” Wade rolls his eyes, then raises the pitch of his voice. “No, he doesn’t, we’re just friends, he doesn’t feel the same way!”

“I do not sound like that!”

“Uh, yeah you do! That’s why I made my voice sound like that.”

“Listen, asshole—”

“Language, myshka.” Piotr leans against the doorframe, smiling fondly at you. “Be nice.”

You point imperiously at Wade. “He started it!”

“Yeah, and I finished it! No performance anxiety here!”

Nate rolls his eyes. “You’re both insane.”

“Yeah? So?” You pluck two maple sugar candies out of the box –ignoring Wade’s squawks of protest as you do—then nab a tissue from the dresser before turning to Piotr. “Here. Try this.”

He eyes the candy, then the tissue, with admittedly fair suspicion. “What is this?”

“Candy.”

He gestures with the tissue. “And this?”

“Call it a safe bet.”

He sighs, then takes a delicate bite of the candy –and, sure enough, promptly spits it out into the tissue. “Bozhe moi, much too sweet.”

“Saw that coming.” You pop your entire candy into your mouth and let out a moan of contentment. “So good.”

“I know,” Wade says as he pops another bite of sugar molded into the shape of a leaf in his mouth. He makes a noise that in any other context would’ve been downright obscene and flops against Nathan’s chest.

“You’re both sugar fiends,” Nathan grumbles, putting an arm around Wade’s shoulders.

“I like to think of it as ‘well-adjusted.’” You grin teasingly at your own boyfriend. “What’s the matter, babe? Can’t handle a little sugar?”

He latches onto your hand and draws you into his arms. “Perhaps, you are just only sweet thing I need in life,” he says as he drops a kiss against the top of your head.

“Ew,” Wade mock-whines. “Get your PDA out of here!”

You roll your eyes at him. “Says the guy who’s literally sitting in his boyfriend’s lap.”

Despite the banter, you’re legitimately happy. You’ve got your happy ending, and Wade’s got his.

Look at us, bro, you think as the four of you share laughs. Champions of overcoming the shittiest obstacles. Go us.

[nighttimepixels]

That process thing you shared for making looping scenes was cool! Tho I wonder how the other skeladies would react to The Human standing on (what looks like) a counter. 🤔 (The picture in the middle. I'm sorry for bothering you if I'm wrong. 😓)

Oh wow thank you so much!

Honestly, all the other ladies would largely be cool with it, just some would probably maintain a closer eye on The Human standing on a counter - they don’t have magic, let alone gravity magic, how foolish, best to offer a steadying hand - oh yes, on the back, right - Crimson be good - Scarlet no stop trying to pick up the Human - Amber oh my stars don’t join them -

They’re a hilarious bunch, basically. So long as the human isn’t wearing dirty shoes up there, they’d probably be fine, if a bit obscene in their usual way ;D

I’ve actually done art of her! Here’s the first art I did of her (old art warning, oof), and here’s one a little bit later of her talking with her girlfriend Coda (lilytale gaster). ;D

… she pretty much looks like a big strong curvy sapphic lady who’s a classy and mildly old-school fashion oriented in taste but casual bartender X)

Oof, that’s intense- and man, I get the vibe of wanting to work with that. I think it’s a fascinating subject, and honestly, I can kind of go into full thesis mode on any number of ways things like this might pan out (frankly, that’s my state on most hc pitches, my brain just… finds ways to run with it >v>;;;)

Overall though, to simplify it, I’ll say for certain that ‘sensing LV’ as well as other ‘stats’ isn’t something you get an immediate knowledge of for monsters - I much prefer thinking of it as a specific action, a skill if you will, that has to actively be employed; but it’s a cultural norm not to unless in an Encounter, or if there’s other strong reason (kind of like invading personal space, I suppose, at least a little).

However… I also think re LV specifically, the ladies from harsher universes could have a sense for it. It’s a survival thing, a little - you just… get the knack for telling when someone’s carrying that sort of weight. So the Fell, Swapfell, and Horrortale sisters would cotton on quick. They’d probably be… not wary, or even rude (stones, glass houses, and all), but definitely aware. In general, though, the ladies aren’t going to treat you as a pariah for having a dark past; it’s one of those things that… well, takes a while to ‘unlock’ for any friendship, you know? In the end, depending on the circumstances, they’d find their own ways to accept that and understand you better (for the sisters that have no LV), and/or empathize pretty deeply and be someone you can really talk to about the burdens of that sort of thing with, once you get close enough to them over time (for the sisters that have LV).

Oooo, that could definitely be a lot of fun to work with, that’s a nice HC ya got there! :D For the sake of Lilytale (and my usual portrayals of the skelebros) there’s no ‘look and know they’re physically hurt thanks to Soul Knowledge’ ability amongst them; even checking a soul is something they can only do With Purpose, not at first glance. It’d be pretty invasive otherwise, for their purposes; not like seeing someone naked, but definitely getting a better look than most would be aware of. They tend not to as a cultural norm unless it’s a fight thing (eg, the Fell & Swapfell bros & sisters are more likely to check sooner than later for protectiveness instinct reasons).

But I do love the idea of monsters sensing intent, which is something I roll with a lot in my own HCs, and sensing people’s hurt could be a pretty easy adjacent skill! I’m really loving the idea of seeing it in a accupuncture-esque sort of thing; especially re magic flow, maybe? given the relation to the Soul -

Overall, that’s a neat heckin’ HC! Seems a bit intimate to be able to see all that, to be certain, which could be it’s own fun playground of possibilities, heheh.

Ahhh honestly, I’m real spotty on Discord, and can be a bit wild in timing on messages in general! I don’t really give out my Discord much unless it’s to mutuals/people I’ve talked with a lot, because I’m still not reliable on there, though I do my best X) But you’re always welcome to shoot me a DM through Tumblr!

Just know that I’m definitely still human, as well as an anxious dork. Sometimes I go a bit afk just for my own sanity/because I get busy, but I always try and return messages eventually!

Also, ah, please keep in mind that I’m 25; for anyone under 18 in particular, I try to keep a more respectful relationship in place. For everyone’s comfort involved, ahaha, but I still do my best to answer questions and keep up as I can! Friendship’s a funny thing; it really just develops naturally, I feel, and sometimes you can get along well with someone but never quite click to deeper friendship. That’s okay too! I think it’s important and great to have a lot of different kinds of friends, whether it’s the few super close types you share everything with, or the lower key friends you occasionally gush about X topic with and have fun in a fandom with. ^^

[delicioussshame]

So late, rl obliges, but have a second fic for AoKuro Week that’s a direct sequel to the artists AU.

Who hands out their contact info on a piece of paper anymore? When did Aomine-kun even write it?

Those are the questions stopping Tetsuya from actually putting the words of that damned song on paper. He just can’t seem to focus. His mind keeps wandering back to Aomine-kun.

Who gave him his phone number. That Tetsuya really needs to call. Or at least write to him. He can’t let that good an opportunity slip by.

It’s just… hard to do. What if it turns out they have nothing in common? Or that he’s the subject of a bet between all those stupidly attractive people? Kagami-kun wouldn’t do that to him, but maybe he doesn’t know.

Later. He’ll call later.

After he’s written those pesky lyrics.

Maybe.

_________

“So, how did it go?”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.”

Kagami-kun winces. “That bad?”

“No, but-“

He visibly lightens up. Tetsuya curses himself for his inability to stay mad at his overgrown puppy. “So it worked out! I’ll have to tell Momoi.”

It’s his turn to wince. “Please don’t. Anyway, nothing happened. The reason I’m not talking to you is because you threw me at the mercy of a bunch of attractive and loquacious people to make a spectacle of myself, and you didn’t even bother to tell me beforehand.”

“But you wouldn’t have come if I did!”

“That’s my point!” So. much. exasperation.

Now Kagami-kun is pouting. Tetsuya needs better friends. “You need more friends.”

…Damn him. “I suppose you’re right about that. Maybe they wouldn’t trick me into meeting strangers.”

“See! I’m right. Plus, you might get a boyfriend out of it.”

Tetsuya really, really needs new friends. “All he did was give me his phone number, it’s not-“

“Ha! I knew it! I’m definitely going to have to call Momoi!”

“Really, please don’t. Let me deal with this. The last thing I need is more people getting involved.”

Kagami-kun grimaces. “You don’t understand. She’ll be on my case if she finds out I left her out of the loop.”

“It’s not her business.”

Kagami-kun shrugs. “With Aomine and Momoi, it’s always each other’s business. You have to deal with it or it won’t work out between you two.”

Fine… Everyone has to make sacrifices. “I’ll keep you updated then, but please, not just yet.” There is nothing between them at the moment. At least give him a chance before it all goes to hell.

Kagami-kun really has no business looking this annoyed. “Fine. I’m giving you a week.”

“Kagami-kun!”

“A week. Do something about Aomine before then, or I’m enlisting Momoi’s help and that’s final.”

Urgh. “Fine.”

“Good.”

Tetsuya crosses his arms. “I’m still not talking to you.”

“I can see that.”

_________

So. He has to do something about Aomine or risk involvement by a stranger and his ex-best friend.

He just has no idea why he’d call.

He still needs to finish that song.

Let’s work on that instead.

…

No. He has to stop postponing or he’ll never get in touch Aomine-kun and he’ll spend the rest of his life regretting missing his chance at what might be the love of his life.

…He’s an artist. He’s allowed to be dramatic.

_________

In the end, he just writes. I have a show next weekend. Do you want to come?

He doesn’t even have to wait long. Sure. When/where is it?

Tetsuya sends him the details. It’s not much, just a few songs at a hole-in-the-wall. He knows he doesn’t play in the same field as Aomine-kun or even Kagami-kun. There’s no point in pretending otherwise.

Maybe, someday.

_________

Tetsuya has heard some people aren’t nervous before their public presentations.

Tetsuya hates those people.

Not only he’s singing to a relatively unfamiliar crowd that isn’t here to see him, he’s trying out the new song.

There’s also the fact that Aomine-kun is there, of course. That isn’t helping. He would hate to make a fool of himself for his almost-first impression.

Enough. Time to perform.

Also time not to look at that corner of the bar where Aomine-kun is sitting, ostensibly alone but already getting accosted by patrons.

He can’t let it bother him. Focus.

_________

He gets off the stage with decent applause. He didn’t crash and burn. At this point, this is all he could have asked for.

If he had dared to ask for another thing, it would have been for that buxom brunette sitting on the barstool adjacent to Aomine-kun to stop leaning toward him, presenting him with what must be a wonderful view of her cleavage.

Aomine-kun visibly turns her away and tunes out whatever she’s answering the moment he spots Tetsuya approaching, so maybe he didn’t even need the extra help.

He’s so lucky.

“Hey.”

“Hello.”

Aomine-kun slides a beer toward him. “Good work out there.”

Tetsuya loves low lighting. “Thank you.”

“I’ve never really done that, you know, the low-key entertainment thing? I grew up in the biz, so we either rented a theater or we were invited to perform. It must be hard.”

Tetsuya shrugs. “You must have done some type of self-promotion too, when you eloped.”

Aomine-kun has a nice laugh.

That throat seems endless when he throws his head back.

“Eloped! I didn’t elope. Just imagining myself like that with Satsuki is too much. To go back to your questions, we took some time off to adjust. We cut off a lot of people, so we had to reconnect, and we changed genre on top of it. Satsuki took care of all of that. It’s more of her thing. I just showed and acted like she told me to.”

“I can’t imagine you obediently listen to Momoi-san.”

“Normally you’d be right, but I didn’t have much choice at the time. It was that or starve, and I need to eat a lot.”

Tetsuya allows his eyes to travel all over Aomine-kun's tall, strong body. "I can see that."

"Are you calling me fat?"

Tetsuya splutters. As is there was an ounce of fat everywhere on that body. "Of course not!"

He grins. "Thought so. All that training has to be worth something. I can't have you thinking I'm not fit."

Tetsuya isn't sure if he wants to change the subject or stay on that topic forever. "I would never. I'm not blind."

“Obviously not. You wouldn’t be interested in me if you were. It’s not like you know much more about me.”

What? Tetsuya blinks, caught off guard by Aomine-kun’s matter-of-fact’s tone.  Surely he knows how attractive he is. Body image issues are dime a dozen in the dance world, but this isn’t about that? He thinks? “Well, you’re right in that I don’t, but neither do you. Why are you here if this is all you think of me?” He’s not even his physical equal. Aomine-kun could do much, much better on this side.

“I just thought your voice was pretty.”

Tetsuya  can’t help himself. He snorts. “That’s not much better.”

“Yes, well, it’s the truth. I’m honest enough to admit I don’t have much of a social circle outside of other dancers, which are universally, without even one exception, a terrible idea. Before the date would be over I’d have gotten three different messages about my outfit, my choice of venue and my lackluster conversation skills. I’m just gonna pass on that.”

“Is this the moment where I admit Kagami-kun has threatened to involve your… Momoi-san if I didn’t get in touch with you fast enough?”

“Fuck! See! This is what I meant! You can’t even date quietly when surrounded by this bunch of nosy assholes.”

Tetsuya doesn’t reply. He wouldn’t enjoy that kind of intrusion into his private life either, but it still seems sort of… nice, to have so many care about your well-being.

“Anyway. You’re just different from the people I hang out with. You look… nice and polite. I’m not used to that. Maybe it would be a good change of pace. But seriously, what about you? Why pick me instead of Kagami? You guys are already friends.”

What’s with these people and their obsession with his relationship with Kagami-kun? They saw them together once! How much did he talk about Tetsuya? “I love Kagami-kun from the bottom of my heart, but I would never date him. I will wish the best of luck to the lucky lady. “

So maybe he overdid it. Whoever will get Kagami-kun’s heart will indeed be lucky. Once he’s earned, Kagami-kun never lets go.

But enough about the man who keeps cockblocking him in absentia. Now, to get back at the subject at hand, how do you explain I think it was love at first sight and it was so obvious that Kagami-kun decided to set us up without sounding like a creepy stalker? “Since we’re talking about Kagami-kun, he wouldn’t have arranged for us to meet if you were terrible, so I know you must be a somewhat decent human being. And, as you implied, a blind man could see that you’re a talented dancer. That takes skill, but also work ethics and passion. Just having seen you on the stage tells me a lot about you already.” He takes a moment to clear his thoughts while taking a sip of his beer. “Aren’t we meeting to get to know each other anyway?”

“Well, okay. And how’s that working out for you? Figured me out already?”

“Of course not. You don’t know a person after only one date, after all. I’ll need more time. How about next weekend?” All that while keeping his most nonchalant tone. He’s a singer. He can control his voice. Aomine-kun can’t hear the beating of his heart. He doesn’t have to hear the tremors in his voice instead.

He gets the most heart-stopping smile in return. “Sure. I’ll take you somewhere as long as you don’t talk to Kagami about it.”

“Deal.

 Bonus

“Dai-chan smiled! He smiled! Those two were made for each other, I knew it!!”

“I wasn’t arguing with you. I’m the one who got them to meet, remember?”

“And you did such a fine job too, Kagamin! I’m so proud! Now I’ll have nephews that can both sing and dance!”

“…You do realise that’s not how it works, right?”

“They can teach their adopted kids! And if they don’t, I will.”

“…Since we can agree they don’t need rescuing from each other, maybe we should go and leave them alone.”

“Kagamiiiiiiin.”

“Yeah, we’re going before they spot us.”

“Buuuuuuut…”

“We’re going. Now.”

“Spoilsport.”

[jentrevellan]

Summary: A modern AU setting of Thedas! … Lyla Lavellan is heading to Skyhold University, after dropping out of her previous uni. A distance relationship with her boyfriend Solas in Denerim is put under strain but she soon becomes fast friends with her new housemates, classmates and work colleagues, including uni drop-out Cullen Rutherford.

Read on Ao3 -> Read on FF -> Artwork by @lillotte17

Chapter 6: Cullen

I think I can smell bacon.

Oh Maker, please can that be bacon? My head is so heavy and fuzzy, I'm not certain. I know that opening my eyes will be painful and bright. Bright is not a good feeling. I just want to sleep.

But bacon…

I try to open my eyes but they're heavy and crusted with sleep. There's something dangling above my face (I think, anyway), but it's blurred. I scrunch my eyes tight then ping them open in a desperate attempt to wake up. But… am I still dreaming? Lyla is standing over me, that little pendant dangling before my eyes. She smiles a wide grin.

"Afternoon, Cullen," she chuckles.

I blink slowly, her blurred features sharpening as I come to realise that I'm not dreaming. She is standing above me, crossing her arms, an amused smile playing on her lips. And, oh Maker, I've just realised that I've missed her. I scold myself silently - she's only been gone for two days. But then I remember that she's been with her boyfriend, and my gut churns uncomfortably at the thought. I rub my head - perhaps my stomach is churning because I am, admittedly, hanging.

"I'm making some bacon sandwiches, if you would like one…?" she asks, smothering a laugh as I try to sit up on the sofa. Despite how gross and groggy I'm feeling, I'm not afraid to admit to myself that my mood has been greatly lifted by having her wake me up.

"Bacon sandwich?" I repeat, my voice scratchy and painful.

Lyla nods and chuckles. "I assume that's a 'yes'. Well, stay here and I'll make one for you too." She practically skips out of the room and I frown, flopping back down on the sofa, wanting to fall back into the Fade, but the promise of a bacon sandwich is too tempting.

The living room door opens again and this time Cassandra shuffles in, still in her pyjamas, a thick, furry dressing gown wrapped around her. She mutters "Mornin'" to me before curling up on the other sofa.

"Pretty sure it's the afternoon," I rasp, rubbing my forehead.

Minutes later, Dorian enters slowly, his feet dragging in his slippers, a purple blanket pulled up over his head so only his face is exposed. He sits himself down next to Cassandra who tucks her knees up, raising her voice to protest only to give up.

"How… how much did we drink?" I wonder aloud.

"Too much," Cassandra grumbles, pulling her dressing gown up to her chin, crossing her arms as tight as possible.

"You're both lightweights," Dorian says flatly, staring at the wall opposite, his face glazed.

Lyla pushes the living room door open with her hip, balancing three plates of bacon sandwiches in her hands. She stops in her tracks when she sees us three and bursts out laughing. If it wasn't at my expense, then I would think her light little laugh charming and sweet, but my head doesn't agree right now. It feels so heavy. It hurts.

"Oh you three are a sight," she laughs. "You're luck Sera didn't find you like this. Here - eat these sarnies."

She hands out a plate to each of us and I wolf my sandwich down as quickly as possible, grateful for the extra-crispy bacon. Never in my life has a bacon sandwich tasted so good.

"This bacon sandwich is Maker-sent," I mumble between mouthfuls.

She perches on the edge of the same sofa as me, watching us devour her bacon sandwiches. "If you think these are good, you should taste my apple pie," she smiles, then looks horrified, her face turning red. Dorian bursts into laughter. "N-not like t-that!" she says hurriedly, tugging her hair behind her ears. I smile at her discomfort, finding it rather endearing to see such a reaction from her accidental innuendo.

I feel Dorian's eyes on me which I refuse to meet. When I glance up, I see Cassandra and Dorian exchange a sly look and I resist the urge to snap at them. Maker's breath, could they at least be a bit more subtle?

The Santilia celebration with them both had been fun, but now that the bacon sandwich is doing its work of sobering me up, I'm remembering more of the previous day than I would like. It had started as normal; exchanging small gifts with one another and the like, but then the drinking had begun. I like to think I an hold my drink as well as the next man, but Dorian's Tevinter resilience is something to be admired in comparison. Without a doubt he drank twice as much and was sober enough to probe enough questions out of me that I should not have answered.

Then Dorian had suggested playing the teenage game of 'truth or dare'. Admittedly, after many glasses of sherry, beer and wine, it seemed like a fun idea. Oh yes, fun indeed.

"Alright Cullen, your turn - Truth or Dare?" Cassandra said in between a sip of beer.

I sat cross-legged on the floor and rubbed my back, where my previous 'dare' of doing a backflip off the sofa had gone horribly wrong.

"Think it would be safer if I say 'Truth'," I grinned, taking swig of beer.

Cassandra pursed her lips before looking at Dorian. A wicked smile - one I have never known Cassandra to do - crossed her face.

"How do you feel about Lyla?"

I remember taking a deep gulp of my beer before answering her question. "Do I have to tell the truth?"

"Yes," Dorian and Cassandra said in unison.

What had I been thinking? Well, I guess I hadn't been thinking. Like the good, honest man I am, I gave them the truth.

"I'm falling in love with her," I said, unashamed. "Next?"

But when I looked up, I realised what I had said. And I had said it so casually that I'm still not sure how I managed it. I hadn't even admitted that to myself. Dorian and Cassandra had stared at me, mouths open, like they were catching flies. Needless to say, they did not let me live it down for the rest of the evening, so I had decided the best course of action would be to drink so much I would pass out and forget the whole thing. I did pass out, but I can, sadly, still remember everything. Maker's breath…

Sometime after eating, I think we all dozed off. This time when I wake, I feel a bit more human: head not as heavy, eyes not so crusty, nausea fading. I peer around the room, noting the looping DVD menu for the film we'd put on earlier. Dorian is sprawled out on the adjacent sofa, mouth open, Cassandra nowhere in sight. To my left, my chest tightens at the sight of Lyla, legs tucked up, head on the armrest, fast asleep. I turn slowly and reach for a blanket and carefully drape it over her. She stirs in her sleep but does not wake, and reluctantly I back out of the living room.

I should not be here. I should not torture myself in this way. And yet my mind, now much more awake than it was before, is all too aware that she had fallen asleep on the sofa next to me. Maker, for all I know, she could've fallen asleep on me. That thought fills me with shameless delight and dread. I cannot think this way, about her. But there's some part of me that wants to take these small pleasures, these little instances and coincidences. Is that really so wrong?

Voices behind the closed kitchen door make me pause as I pull on my shoes. I'm not usually one to eaves drop, but then this house never usually has closed doors. I shuffle as silently as possible and recognise Cassandra's voice.

"…t do you mean?"

Sera replies, her voice low and quiet. "I dunno. There's somethin' goin' on, right? And it's… it's not good."

"With Lyla?" Cassandra whispers. I lean in closer, almost pressing my ear to the door.

"Ah. I dunno, alright?" Sera sighs in frustration. "It's just… right, when she picked me up in Denerim yeah, she'd come from Solas' place."

"Well of course she had. She was having Satinalia there."

"I know that! But… when she was drivin', yeah, I saw her wrists. Cassy, she had bruises. I swear, if it's that prat who's-"

"Wait, Sera, wait. I know Solas isn't exactly… likeable, but if you're saying what I think you're saying-"

"I dunno alright! Sorry I said anythin' yeah."

Sera pulls the door open and stops in her tracks. She blinks then pushes past me, muttering under her breath. She runs up the stairs, taking two at a time and moments later I hear her bedroom door slam shut. Cassandra raises an eyebrow at me.

"Were you eavesdropping, Cullen?" she asks wearily.

"I…" Rubbing the back of my neck, I glance at the closed living room door. "What was Sera on about?"

The Nevarran woman sighs in exasperation. "Sera's just speculating. It's none of our business. Anyway, glad to see you're awake."

"Cassandra, what I said-"

"Cullen, I'm far too tired and hungover to care. But know this - I won't say a word." She pats my arms and walks past me up the stairs.

I let out a breath, and lean against the wall. It's only now that I think to check my phone. And there are… wait, how many missed calls? Alarmed I listen to my voice mail from Leliana.

"Cullen, where the hell are you? You're meant to be working! Call me as soon as you can."

Another message follows. "Cullen, you're making us worried. I can't get hold of Cassandra either. Please call us back."

Oh, shit.

I run into the living room and scan the room for my satchel. Lyla stirs as I accidentally knock her knee. She blinks up wearily at me. "You okay?"

"Fine," I mutter, rummaging around for my wallet. Shit, shit, shit! How could I forget that I offered to work at the pub?

Lyla sits up, pulling her hair out her eyes. "What is it?"

"Forgot I'm meant to be at work," I grumble, angry at my own stupidity. Maker forbid I relax and enjoy myself for more than a day, oh no.

"Let me give you a lift," Lyla says, jumping to her feet.

My chest swells again. I should decline, I should insist that I get a bus, or run into town. But I find myself accepting her offer, following her out of the house, getting into the passenger seat of her freezing car. We say little to each other and I realise I haven't even asked about her own Santilia.

"Did you have a nice time in Denerim?" I enquire, as we sit at some traffic lights.

Instantly, she visibly stiffens, clutching the steering wheel tight. I can't help but think back to what I'd heard Sera say earlier. Out of curiosity, feeling ashamed as I do so, I peer to see her wrists, but her jumper is pulled up and she's wearing gloves. I scold myself - it's none of my business.

"It was fine," she says tightly.

"Fine?" I repeat.

"Yes," she says bluntly.

I know I should drop the subject, but I can't. There's something niggling at me, wanting to pry a little more.

"I…" Hesitating, I rub my neck. "We're friends, aren't we Lyla?"

Her eyes flick to me before she nods.

"So, what's up? Has something happened?" I ask.

She sighs and keeps on driving through the quiet streets of Skyton. "I don't know, Cullen. I don't think things are great right now between Solas and I… but I don't know."

I shift in my seat. "We can talk about it if you like…?"

A small smile tugs her lips. "Thank you, but I'm okay.. really," she insists at my raised eyebrow. I drop the subject and look out the window. "Besides," she continues, "I don't want to bore you with my problems."

"You could never bore me," I grin, foolishly.

She laughs. "You're only saying that because I'm driving you to work! How did you manage to forget, anyway? Leliana's going to skin you alive."

"Ah, well trust me to have more than two days off work. Knew it was too good to be true." I sigh. "I guess, for the first time in months, I was able to relax and not have any of my headaches."

"Headaches?" Lyla asks, frowning.

Oh crap, did I let that slip? "I…" damnit, I don't want her to know about that, about my past, any of it!

"Cullen," she says slowly. "Trust and friendship goes both ways, you know."

"Alright… but… It's just… Lyla: I'm a bit messed up and would understand if… if you didn't want to be my friend-"

"I'm not going to stop being your friend."

"You say that now," I try and joke, but I can't quite find the heart to laugh about it. She shoots me a look and I rub the back of my neck. "Well, I… get really bad migraines. And I tend to keep busy to distract myself."

"That can't be healthy…"

I sigh. "Yeah… well it's because I was in… in Kirkwall," I say quickly, looking at anywhere but her.

A low whistle. "Shit, Cullen."

"Yeah, I know."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's okay, honestly."

"No, but I pushed you and-"

"No! No, you could never have known, I-"

We talk over each other and then stop. I grin and she laughs. And it's funny because the rest of the drive is us just laughing. I'm not sure why but we can't stop and Maker's breath, is it refreshing.

She pulls up outside the pub and cuts the engine. I peer up at the bar and look back at her, our laughter fading, my chest feeling light. But there are tears in her eyes.

"Lyla, what is it?" I ask. It takes all my control to not reach over and touch her hand on the hand-break. Not to reach out and comfort her. Those are not tears of laughter.

She wipes her eyes furiously. "Sorry," she mumbles. "I… I just haven't laughed like that in a long time."

I smile weakly. "That's nothing to cry about though, is it?"

A teary little laugh and a smile. She tilts her head to the side. "Cullen?"

"Mm?" I reply. She's close. Far too close. I can smell her perfume. It's sweet, light and cool. I think something passes between us as I meet her eyes. They are bright, green and full of teary laughter. I want to fall into them. I dare not.

"Um, you should, ah…" she begins, looking down at her spread hands. "Leliana's going to kill you if you stay out here any longer."

I nod and smile. I pretend that whatever just happened, didn't happen. She's a friend, nothing more. Perhaps she will be a good friend, one I can trust; one who I want to be happy. But she's a friend I know I'm… coming to love; and as I step out the car and wave to her as she drives off, I know I'm in too deep, and this is going to hurt. And yet, I'm reluctant to let that stop me from wishing.

AN: I'm sorry this chapter is late! Life has been mad as I quit my job. Yikes! Anyway, next update will be next week so we'll be back on schedule. Thank you for reading! Your comments, likes and reblogs keep me so, so motivated. ^^