#you’ll be seeing more of him in future
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downbeneath · 2 years ago
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Carter Howell! A big hairy vampire who won the poll and I will definitely be drawing more art of him! He has a page too where I’ll put more info!
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temtamtom · 1 year ago
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Thinking…. Plotting, perhaps…. Scheming, even…. Brainstorming, if you are so inclined.
I went to a museum today (had a blast) and now I’m thinking of François��� childhood. Which means I’m also thinking about his papa.
Designs not final! I won’t tag this properly, but reblogs are welcome. I just felt like sharing this
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plush0fairy · 3 months ago
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When you like the freaky healer more than your wife
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meo-eiru · 7 months ago
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Big booba elf!!!!!!!🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣
He is mothering!!!!!!
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trashcreatyre · 10 months ago
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FORGOT TO POST THESE……..
N e way… new carmin ref and now they have a girlfriend :)
Old ref
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happy74827 · 2 years ago
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Babeees love the rhys montrose x reader fic, can't wait for more. What are your plans for the other fics?
xx
AWWW IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT 💞💞 Writing him is so gosh darn difficult. Like I would type out his dialogue and try to read it in his accent and then question myself if he’d actually say that lmaooo
Regarding my other plans… it’s a very funny story. I legit have no idea 💀 My brain comes up with these random potential scenarios at like 3am and then it’s a 50/50 chance on whether it actually gets done. However, my strong will power and motivation to help populate this man on this app will overcome that (hopefully). I just have to be very VERY creative on the scenarios, given the canon storyline 👀
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luvuomi · 7 days ago
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✎ . . . ❝ [ amethos but, epic au! ]❞ .ೃ࿐
dedicated tracks: “the horse and the infant” & “just a man”
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though strategic in his battle tactics and a master in the art of war, sethos is not one who particularly enjoys the bloodshed and adrenaline that comes along with it. unfortunately in this day in age, not many would agree. for them, to harbor such skilled yet deathly attributes, should thus be carried with pride. only then, can a man ever wish to become that which is greater than himself. this is how many view the reigning king of tulaytullah.
an adversary that is neither man nor mythical, but one’s darkest moment.
but would his fellow comrades still think the same of him now if they saw him hesitating on striking down his greatest foe? granted.. said foe was nothing more than a mere infant.
a fragile, defenseless being he now cradled in his arms, a familiar gesture that brought forth memories of his own child as he looked into their eyes. how could such innocence be deemed a threat by the gods? to be the bearer of such great calamity?
he couldn’t do it. how can when all he sees as he carries this child are fleeting images of his own son and wife.
where as he stands out on the balcony overseeing a once prosperous nation now set ablaze and ringing with battle cries from his invasion, he imagines for a moment that he’s back home in tulaytullah. even after all the years, away from everything he’s known, he can still see the image of the streets below bustling with vendors as they open up shops and prepare for the day ahead. instead of the smoky air, he imagines the mellow summer breeze that travels through the air of his kingdom, greeting him a pleasant morning.
in this daydream, sethos continues to hold the infant in his arms, having decidedly taken him in to raise as his own. at his right, his own son tugs at him, eagerly wanting to meet his new little brother and on his left, is his wife — amélie . her head resting upon his shoulder while tender eyes gaze upon the infant that she of course welcomed with open arms. it’s a distant future but one that is so picturesque, he almost believes it to be true.
but as the infant’s cries suddenly echo out, everything vanishes as quickly as it came, reduced to nothing more than the ashes that fill the darkened skies.
the world he desires is not awaiting him should he go against the will of the gods.
to have sympathy now would come at too much of a cost. one he can’t afford to lose as a man who’s just trying.. begging to go home.
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#✧ ⸝⸝ TALES FROM 𝒟ISTANT 𝒲ORLDS ─── ❛ 𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗌 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝖾𝗉𝗂𝖼 𝖺𝗎!#[ 02 / 24 /25 ]#this would’ve been a banger x reader fic concept but im gatekeeping it for my selfship instead >:3#because then i can be more delusional and commission specific fanart for this. boom. i just cracked the code for writer’s block chat /hj#anyways - this was really fun to write out! making the parallels between odysseus and sethos was very cool especially since i feel they ..#are a bit similar to each other at least in my opinion. although when it comes to the fate of the infant im more inclined to believe that .#sethos wouldn’t actually commit it like he’s someone who’s willing to go along with things but at the end of the day he also has his own ..#beliefs and opinions on things that even if some god came down to him and said ‘hey that child is going to ruin ..#your life if you don’t kill it’ he’d probably think the gods were more messed up than the child ( which in hindsight they are ) and say ..#‘screw you’ before leaving with said child. sethos is a lot of things but he for sure aint no follower#but ofc in this case we’re going to assume he didn’t for the sake of the narrative lol#also yes. you did read amethos canoncially having a lovechild but that’s kind if a big question mark rn as in: you probably wont hear ..#much of them aside from some small mentions sprinkled here and there because again it’s for the narrative chat. but tbh amethos lovechild .#could literally just be a copy and paste of telemachus i mean.. the vibes kinda match ykyk but that aside#i’ve been brain rotting this concept a lot so you’ll be seeing a lot of these posts in the foreseeable future!#sometimes it’ll just be small hcs + dialouge + drabbles like this that will only be at a max wc of 500 or below#and perhaps some commissioned art who knows 👀#oh yea it might be best to have some context/knowlegde abt what epic is at least if you want a more solid understanding of whats going on😭#i mean idk you could probably still understand without context but.. idk HELP in my case i literally played out this entire brain rot ..#scenario in my mind while listening to the songs as though it were an animatic ( imaginative mind go brr )
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telephoniii · 2 months ago
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REALLY…HIM?
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☆彡 in which professor trein judges your relationship with the NRC boys
NRC boys x Reader (minus Ortho)
Word Counter: 3K
Warnings: Reader is Prefect, Trein is your father figure, established relationship, possible OOC
A/N: life’s getting pretty hectic so i’m sorry if my upload schedule slows down. i hope you enjoy :>
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ace trappola
Can’t say he’s surprised, just disappointed. It makes sense; he was one of your first friends. However, that doesn’t make him any less troublesome. Despite being a first-year, Ace is one of the biggest slackers and troublemakers on campus— much to Trein’s dismay. His main worry is that Ace will poorly influence you. He’s already seeing it with the two of you getting a crazy amount of detentions and scoldings for unthinkable reasons. You’ve got it rough already being from another world, you don’t need a devil on your shoulder convincing you to get into all kinds of trouble. It’s a real shame said devil is your boyfriend. He’ll allow the relationship and all will seem swell. Little do you know that he pulled Ace aside and had a long chat.
deuce spade
A fine pick; Trein is neither severely impressed nor disappointed. He doesn’t think Deuce is too bad, but he believes you could do better. Deuce will need to somehow prove himself to Trein. On the outside, Trein looks like he absolutely hates his guts. His eyes are always staring at Deuce with this sharp look and it gets the card soldier real nervous real fast. In reality, it’s just Trein keeping a closer eye on him + his RBF. He’s relatively neutral on the first year, yet Deuce is fully convinced that his professor wants to set him on fire.
cater diamond
Trein is very annoyed with your choice. He doesn’t like Cater’s social media addiction and would much rather have you hit the books than scrolling through Magicam. Not to mention, he feels as though something about Cater’s happy-go-lucky attitude is a facade, and doesn’t trust him around you. Cater finds Trein scary, but he’s not as intimidated as Deuce. As he does with Ace, Trein takes Cater to have a talk, and—surprisingly— his opinions on the third year improve. He doesn’t fully like him, but he’ll tolerate Cater more so than beforehand. Cater also offers to help Trein make a social media account; it’s cute yet chaotic all the same watching them bond.
trey clover
Before Trein can form a solid thought on Trey, the vice housewarden is subtly trying to win his favor. Trey knows how about his father-like connection to you and immediately shapes up. He gifts Trein different pastries and learns which ones he’s partial to. What really wins the professor over is when Trey starts volunteering to help clean his classroom after class. Trein won’t even know the two of you are already together and he’ll make comments around you like, “That Clover boy is real nice…” Needless to say, Trein approves of Trey long before he finds out you both are in a relationship.
riddle rosehearts
Trein immediately scowls when he hears the news of your relationship. You’d think he’d approve due to Riddle’s intellect and dutiful behavior. Admittedly, Trein does like that about Riddle. But he despises the boy’s bursts of anger, finding them childish and unfitting for a future mage. He’s seen the housewarden go berserk on one too many students and doesn’t trust he won’t do the same to you. Trein doesn’t want you walking on eggshells around your own partner. This is another one who’ll have to prove themselves to Trein. Riddle will be upset when he hears of Trein’s low opinion of him, but gets a surge of motivation to convince him otherwise. You’ll find Riddle working even harder on his studies than before you didn’t even think that was possible in hopes of gaining Trein’s favor. He’ll eventually get it. I imagine that Riddle does some small, heroic deed for you that really shows his love, and Trein just so happens to be passing by and sees it. Once your unofficial official father in Twisted Wonderland gets along with Riddle, expect to be nagged about missing assignments and homework a WHOLE LOT.
jack howl
Similar to Trey, he immediately knows about your bond with Trein. Instead of trying to win over the professor, Jack takes a more blunt approach. He goes straight to his desk after class and tells him about your relationship, being upfront about his feelings towards you. Trein respects it. He thinks that Jack has more guts than most on campus and trusts him to protect you. He’s quite supportive of the relationship, acting as a mentor for the both of you. You can catch him watching the two of you with a tiny smile, murmuring something along the lines of, “Young love.” The two of you remind him of his own marriage with his late wife. It makes him sentimental in a way.
ruggie bucchi
A BIG 180 FROM JACK. Trein thinks this guy is sleazy. Ruggie couldn’t care less in the beginning, finding it funny to practically hang off your shoulder while Trein stared daggers into him. Then it started to seep in that it may or may not be important to get Trein’s approval for a long-term relationship with you. That’s when he gets his act together and completely starts sucking up to Trein. He’ll help out with paperwork, errands, cleaning up, etc! All for free! much to his dismay All Ruggie asks for in return is Trein’s support for your relationship. He catches Trein by surprise with how well his work ethic is. The lengths the hyena goes to for you ends up leaving the professor impressed.
leona kingscholar
Professor Trein is both surprised and disappointed. Now how did this happen? He didn't think Kingscholar was capable of being nice to anyone, let alone get into a whole relationship. Well, he bugs you to tell your boyfriend to start showing up to class. He’s not exactly happy with you dating a huge slacker like him, but Trein knows that Leona is a smart boy. Brash and not his first pick, sure, but he wouldn’t play with your heart or rope you into anything stupid. He trusts Kingscholar to protect you. But if he starts seeing you begin to skip class— which is going to happen, Leona’s going to make you do it at least once— he’ll pull YOU aside and give you an earful. Tough love, unfortunately.
floyd leech
Hell no. All the red blaring flags. Now why would you go and do that? Really? Out of EVERYONE? You bet your bottoms Trein is actively speaking out against your relationship every single time he sees you. He doesn't even want to try to talk to Floyd. Trein is convinced you are addicted to getting in trouble and lets out the biggest old man sigh. Is there any way Floyd can win the professor’s favor? Probably not. And if there was a way, would Floyd even do it? Big fat no. Floyd thinks it is hilarious that Professor Trein disapproves, upping his affections around him with that toothy grin of his. And if you guys have a class together that Trein teaches? Chaos. Expect a lot of paper balls to be thrown at you.
jade leech
“Are you okay??” Is the first thing Trein asks when you tell him you and Jade are in a relationship. Doesn't exactly trust the boy, but Jade tends to behave around him. The professor has always seen him being picture-perfect whenever he’s around which is 100% suspicious, but Trein doesn't have any solid reasons to disapprove. Jade, like his brother, finds the whole situation very amusing. He’s always figuring out new ways to appear like the ‘ideal boyfriend’ to Trein. If he ever talks to the professor he’ll slip in a comment like, “I never disappoint, trust me” and it makes Trein distrust him even more.
azul ashengrotto
Now what bet did you lose for this to have happened? At least Ashengrotto is a star student, you need to hang out around more of those in his opinion. After confirming that, “No, no bet was lost,” and “No, he’s not paying for my love,” Trein was pretty alright with it. The Monstro Lounge is a student-ran organization, it's clear from that the young boy is capable and responsible. He just keeps a very, very close eye on you two. The last thing Trein wants is for Azul to take advantage of you since— knowing him— he seems like the type to do so. Expect frequent questions of “How’s your relationship going?” and “He’s treating you right, right?” Azul is going to get asked to stay after class to talk. Trein then proceeds to threaten lecture him on how to properly treat your lover. He just wants to make sure you don't get wrapped up in one of those contracts he’s heard about. Azul has quite the track record.
kalim al asim
Automatically assumes you’re dating him for the money and begins to ramble about how you should marry for love. Tells you about his late wife and how much he loved her— it is so sweet I'm actually crying. That's the kind of love he wants you to have. You’ve got to reassure him that, “Yes, my certified father figure, I do love him very much and I’m not just in it for the money.” After that talk, he finds the relationship sweet but kind of concerning. Kalim is a nice boy but severely naive and, frankly, incompetent. Trein starts to go a little harder on Kalim in class, not that he was going easy anyway. He scrutinizes the essays he turns in and chastises him for missing an assignment. As he watches you kiss Kalim on the cheek after getting an A, Trein can only sigh and think, “He’s lucky he’s rich.”
jamil viper
Trein’s pretty okay with him. He’s a level-headed guy with passable grades and the title of a vice housewarden. However, the professor did hear about his Overblot and does think that there's more beneath the surface. He doesn't judge him for his Overblot, no. But Trein does keep a closer eye on him to make sure he isn't scheming anything involving you. The professor also tries to push him to do better academically. He’s heard from you about how smart Jamil truly is and can see his potential, so he tries to get him to stop holding back. Jamil is a little appreciative of it and respects Trein as your father figure, but still isn't a fan of sticking out. Nor does he plan on giving into Trein’s attempts.
epel felmier
Is fine with the relationship at first. He was polite, soft-spoken, and a part of Pomfiore. Most students belonging to that dorm are pompous, but respectful nonetheless. Then Epel’s true nature comes out and Trein is constantly reprimanding him for horseplay. It's kinda funny how surprised Trein is by Epel’s country toughness. The professor definitely had his suspicions— nobody at NRC is innocent, he’s learned every student here has some sort of dark side— but he definitely wouldn't have expected this. A part of Trein actually prefers him like this. You are dating someone with a backbone who will defend you. He encourages Epel to be himself around him, promising a judgment-free area. They get along pretty well surprisingly, with Trein being a sort of mentor to him. Overall, very sweet and Trein approves.
rook hunt
In the most blunt way possible, Trein tells you, “Your boyfriend weirds me out.” He thinks Rook is an oddball for sure. No way around it. Is half convinced Rook is stalking him. Because he is. When you explained to your boyfriend about the bond you had with Professor Trein, he got way too intrigued and ended up ‘watching’ Trein like he does to Leona. It's not until the professor makes a passing comment about being paranoid that he’s being watched that you realized, “Oh shit my boyfriends stalking you.” You don't say that to him— you don't want Rook getting in trouble. So you settle on having a really long talk with Rook about it who reassures you he’d never disturb your father figure or the absolutely beautiful bond between the two of you. He still worries you sometimes when he goes missing and randomly reappears by walking out of Trein’s classroom.
vil schoenheit
Trein worries that Vil won’t make the time for you. He’s aware that Schoenheit is a busy boy as he’s missed his class plentiful in the past. He’ll make Vil stay after class for a little to talk to him about it, giving him a fatherly warning about being ready to fully commit to a relationship and the time it takes to manage one. Vil is, admittedly, insulted that Trein doubts his ability to wholeheartedly love you but takes it in stride. He sees this as a sign to up his game in the romance department and properly does so, dedicating more time to pampering you. The professor expresses his concerns to his coworker, Crewel, who talks his ear off about how much of a “good pup” Vil is and that he won't disappoint. Trein can’t help but agree when he spots you walking into class looking more freshened with slight makeup on and a new hair-do that Vil definitely did for you.
idia shroud
Once you break the news to Trein, he immediately asks to meet with Idia one-on-one. The blue-haired student rarely shows up to class! And that iPad isn't going to cut it forever! He needs to be able to size him up in person. Idia, naturally, is scared to death. At first, he immediately declines, insisting that they don't really need to meet up, the whole idea is stupid, and it’ll be fine if he stays right there in his room. Then you sit down with him and tell him how important Trein is to you and… sigh You landed a natural 20 on the dice of persuasion. Idia can’t believe he's doing this. You’re beside him the whole time as he stutters in front of Trein. Is Trein impressed? No, not at all. Yet your confidence in the Shroud and constant praise is reassuring. The professor’s going to make you force Idia into showing up in person in class. His attendance rivals Leona's.
sebek zigvolt
Doesn't really care for Sebek despite the first year's desperate attempts at trying to impress him. Sebek lost him after he started talking about Malleus when Trein asked about you. Ever since then, it’s just been him trying to win him back to no prevail. Kinda sad to watch. He’ll be the biggest gentleman ever: rushing to doors to open them for Trein, scrubbing his whole classroom for him from top to bottom, and yelling at other students to be quiet— though he was pretty much doing that before you two even got together. But every time Sebek gets close to winning the professor’s favor, he ends up going on a tangent about how amazing his liege is, and we're back at square one. You’ve got to rub him on the back and kiss him on the cheek while telling him, “Trein will come around one day!” Even if that day never comes.
silver
Not a fan. He’s witnessed Silver fall asleep in his class one too many times and thinks it's disrespectful. Once you tell Silver, he’s upset as it's not exactly something he can change, but will put in extra effort not only in Trein’s class but in all his classes. He studies with you beside him so you can prevent him from falling asleep when you see him get all drowsy-eyed. Trein immediately takes note of Silver’s hard work and grit as the boy passes his class with flying colors while asking if there’s anything he could do to help him after hours. It's only when he hears from his fellow teachers that Silver has been doing exceptionally well is he actually impressed. Afterwards, Trein will start being more understanding of Silver’s constant sleeping. He won't be any less strict, but he won’t lay into him for it as hard as before since learning it's out of Silver’s control. Trein thinks rather positively of your relationship, comparing it to the ones in the fairytales.
lilia vanrouge
A bit disturbed, to say the least. Lilia is older than him after all. Trein tried to keep a close eye on the two of you, but Lilia always caught him and pursued a staring match. Trein was always the first to look away. Lilia finds it entertaining. He tries to play tiny tricks on the professor, but you stop him at the very last minute. You sit down and try to explain that you deeply care about Trein and, by extension, what Trein thinks of him. Lilia proceeded to suggest that he brings Trein some cookies to win him over to which you immediately say no. Honestly, I don’t see Trein really ever warming up to Lilia. He just pretends the old bat doesn't exist and isn't your boyfriend. Lilia finds that incredibly funny while you're dying inside.
malleus draconia
The fact you were able to get close to the Draconia is an impressive feat to Trein. However, future ruler of Briar Valley or not, he intends to make sure that Malleus treats you right. Right when you tell Malleus that Trein is basically your father, the fae goes straight to the professor, confesses to him about your relationship, and swears to take good care of you with this ominous tone. Trein isn’t very fond of Malleus at first, struggling to decipher whether or not that introduction was genuine. It isn't until you go to him after class, gushing about the late-night walk you went on with Malleus yesterday and shoving cute little polaroid photos in his face does Trein begin to trust the fae. He makes sure to scold you for not being asleep at that time, yes, but he stares at one of the photographs for way too long, imagining you and Malleus as him and his late wife for a moment. A small smile appears on his face. However, he can’t help but think that the two of you are down a similar path; the happiest marriage ever, kids, and one lover outliving the other. A tragedy, but he’ll let you enjoy it while it lasts just like he did. As long as you’re happy.
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tonycries · 1 year ago
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FIRST masterlist! This masterlist has all my writing from 06/02/24 up until 01/10/24 — for my recent works click on my SECOND MASTERLIST <3
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Men In Uniform Do It Best!
Dirty Lil' Secrets
A Picture Lasts Long (But Not As Long As That D*ck)
I'm Addicted, I Admit It!
Give Me Tough Love
Never Ever Seen This Before!
We Don't Have No Babies!
Like A Fever
Bad Things (To You)
Prettier When Messy!
Care For You!
Green-eyed Monster
So Lonely In My Mansion!
Kiss Me More!
Girl, I Do This Often
Cause, I Love Freaks!
Sl*t Me Out!
Match My Freak!
WAP!
R U Mine?
Hot To Go!
Girl, You Earned It!
I'm A BIG Stepper!
BODY-ODY!
SOOO ANXIOUS
Long Overdue!
THIS P*SSY DEPRESSED!
The Family Matter?!
I-T G-I-R-L!
I Lasted Ten Rounds!
BRAT!
She's My Vitals!
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Three's a Crowd (But Four...) — “So, are they like holograms? Or can you really touch them?” “Why? Trynna cop a feel, sweetheart?” In which you and your boyfriend find very unconventional uses for his powers.
Why Can't I Keep My Fingers Off You? [Part 1] [Part 2] — There were two things missing in the scene in front of you: 1. The aphrodisiac chocolate your friends had given as a gag gift last Christmas that had been hidden away in the back of your refrigerator. 2. Your dear fiancé.
Dream A Little Dream — For the strongest, it was a privilege to dream. Especially when his dream is you. 
Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
One More? Please? — A kiss always solves everything! But when a kiss turns into something more…well, it’s only a desperate attempt to unseal yourselves from this damned prison realm, right? Right?
Everybody Knows That I'm a Good Girl, Officers... — You don’t know what’s faster - how fast you were speeding down the highway, or how fast you’re on your knees for the hot officers that just so happen to pull you over.
Hope They Catch Us — When you’re on-screen, it’s always a rivalry to see who’s best - you just never thought that it would be the same struggle in bed.
Unmistakably Yours — In which the strongest bends space and time - literally - after coming back from deatḣ, to do what he’s always wanted to do - you.
Madam Gojo — Gojo Satoru, the strongest clan leader in all of Japan - and the most dangerous, too. You, rejected by the elders, and totally not his future bride, right? Right?
Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) — In which intentionally making your fríend-with-benefíts jealous ends up with more benefits than you’d think.
The Heir — No, your clan leader husband won’t stop until he gives you an heir. No, you don’t think you’ll make it out alive.
The Call — After an explosive fight with your boyfriend, you really should feel sorry about being swept up by the blue-eyed stranger at the club - but it’s so hard when he kisses you like that.
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy — He knows that you would be one of his favorite stories from his travels. And you know that you want nothing more than to stay by his side. After meeting an alluring cowboy at Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon, both of you are sure of one thing - this must be fate.
Go For It, Gojo! [Part 1] [Part 2] — You wouldn’t fuck Gojo Satoru even if you were paid…is what you thought exactly five minutes before you were shoved against the wall of this cramped closet, his face stuffed in your soaked panties.
Unhoneymooners!? — The universe was surely playing a joke on you. Here you were, trapped on a luxury getaway with your - dangerously handsome, extremely obnoxious - ex. Either you were going to kill each other or end up pinned beneath him, split apart on his cóck. You just didn’t know what would come first.
AITA For F*cking My Sugar Daddy's Son?! — When your sugar daddy just isn’t paying attention to you, can you really be blamed for fúcking his son? Especially when his son is absolutely obsessed with you.
Bad Boys Bring Roses — You’ve never dealt with the yakuza - not once. So why is the future head of the Gojo clan suddenly coming up to you, demanding that you marry him for 30 days?
The Way You Kiss Me — The four times Satoru tries really hard not to kiss you - his best friend’s pretty younger sister. And the one time he doesn’t.
Isn't That Sweet? (I Guess So) — Oh no! Why do your pantíes keep disappearing? Well, maybe your hot roommate knows the answer…
Haunting You — A bIoody trail of vampire attácks, a political marriage, and four suitors you’re forced to choose from - all haunting you. But none as much as the mysterious stranger that makes everything in you scream that you might just be fated for the very thing your kingdom is trying to escape from.
You'll Taste Me Too! — How do you last three days on a work trip with the man you hate the most in the office? You don’t - you end up pinned underneath him, instead.
We Neva Play! — Turns out, the “r” in rivals stands for “really good séx” when a mission becomes a little too hot to handle.
Something Stupid — Five times the strongest would rather díe than tell you he loves you, and the one time he almost does. Almost.
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Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
Like An Animal — Of course Toji doesn’t want any more kids. Of course he’s lying as he stuffs your pretty cúnt full of his cúm for the third time tonight.
Whiskey, Neat, With a Side of You — When your date stands you up, you’re lucky that the hot bartender is more than happy to keep you company! 
Everybody Knows That I'm a Good Girl, Officers... — You don’t know what’s faster - how fast you were speeding down the highway, or how fast you’re on your knees for the hot officers that just so happen to pull you over.
F*ck You! (Literally) — Of course, you hated your ex-husband. Of course, you found yourself in bed with him on your wedding anniversary.
Government Hooker — With the fame and glory of being an international popstar comes the inevitable threat of an overzealous stalker. You just didn’t think that it would also come with a very sexy, buff bodyguard behind your every move.
Madam Zenin — There’s nothing that rouses Toji, the infamous head of the Zenin clan, nothing that will make him lose control - until they take what’s most important to him. You.
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Brooklyn Baby — Everybody wanted to fuck Suguru Geto, lead bassist of Tokyo Special Grades. Said Suguru doesn’t want to fuck anyone else but you. He couldn’t give less of a fuck if anyone walked in right now. In fact, a small part of him wishes someone would.
Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
Golden Boy — Falling right back in love with the cult leader you’re supposed to kíll? Happens more often than you’d think.
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Welcome To The Itadori's! — Three times Choso really, really wanted to hold you without his family barging in, and the one time he actually does. 
FIVE! — Five hours - it’s all it takes for Choso’s baby fever to take over. After all, you’d look so pretty with his kid - five of them, in fact.
Great With Kids? (You Can Have Mine) — When your younger brother gets a new babysitter, only two questions linger on your mind: 1. How come your parents didn’t trust you in charge? 2. How dare the sexy babysitter be so perfect - it made you want some attention too.
Freak On The Cam! — Choso always loved watching you - his pretty lil’ camgírl - from behind the screen. Who knew he’d love being on-screen with you even more?
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Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?
A Million Dollar Baby! — Turns out, rent can be paid in much more than one way.
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Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) — In which intentionally making your fríend-with-benefíts jealous ends up with more benefits than you’d think.
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Exes who...
Love Is Blind
“She My Best Friend, Yeah We Not a Couple.”
Wanna Do Bad Things To You
I Wanna Get Freaky On Camera
Lemme Ride, Baby!
Can I Fill You Up, Baby?
"Pull On It. Harder."
Little Heaven
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©2025 tonycries. All work belongs to @tonycries. Do NOT repost, modify, translate or plagiarize in any way on ANY platforms. This includes themes, headers, and pinned.
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fear-is-truth · 1 month ago
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BEING IN A POLY RELATIONSHIP WITH THANOS & NAM-GYU l headcanons
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pairing — thanos x reader x nam-gyu warnings — (mild) s2 spoilers. smut author’s note — i wrote some corny lyrics for this lol
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──⟢  fear-is-truth — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.
thanos recruited you into his “team” because of his attraction to you. the rapper didn’t try to hide that he found you hot, and he made sure you knew it, throwing compliments your way. his flirting was over-the-top and shameless. he’d call you “senorita” or “babe” in a sing-song voice, leaning in close to make sure you couldn’t ignore him. his favourite move was to serenade you with cheesy raps that made everyone cringe.
one day, thanos sidles up to you, a wide, cocky-ass smirk plastered on his face. he’s got his hands on his hips, like he’s about to drop the hottest bars in the universe. “yo, senorita,” he starts, “you’re the queen of my world, can’t you see? ain’t no one gonna take my throne, you and me, together, baby, we’re destiny!” while nam-gyu, in the background, is rolling his eyes so hard he could probably see the back of his skull. but thanos keeps going, totally into it, “baby, we can rule the game, you and i, got them all thinking i’m the reason they’ll die. you’ll be my queen, i’ll be your king, together we’ll make this whole thing sing!” it’s a miracle you don’t combust from secondhand embarrassment.
nam-gyu, as thanos’s second-in-command, was pissed from the start. in the beginning, it seemed like he was just territorial—angry that you were disrupting the group dynamic. he’d throw side comments like, “oh, great, now we’ve got a distraction,” and give you cold, assessing looks. his irritation was obvious, especially when thanos started giving you preferential treatment, like sitting beside you during meals or casually throwing an arm over your shoulder during group talks.
he tried to act more “mature” than thanos (spoiler: he wasn’t). his idea of flirting was to act tough, which mostly involved bullying weaker players to look impressive. it was like watching a middle schooler try to flex for their crush. in reality, he just looks like an asshole, and you feel annoyed by his attempts to bully someone into submission to show off. he catches your disapproving glare and immediately tries to backtrack, but it just makes it worse.
thanos wasn’t subtle about his future plans for you. “after we win this thing, you’re coming with me,” he promised you confidently. “i’ll make you my official girl. the fans will eat it up—thanos and his queen.” he didn’t ask if you wanted that, just assumed you’d go along with it lol. nam-gyu, on the other hand, played dirtier. when thanos wasn’t around, he tried to plant seeds of doubt in your mind, leaning in to whisper confidentially. “he’s a scumbag, you know. all talk, no loyalty. don’t let him fool you,”
during meals, both of them insisted on sitting next to you, even if it meant practically wrestling each other to the ground. there were no tables, just groups eating near the bunk beds or stairs leading up to them, and you always ended up sandwiched between the two guys. thanos would slouch with his arm around your shoulders, smirking at anyone who looked your way. nam-gyu would mutter snide comments under his breath, low enough for you to hear, but not enough for thanos to notice.
then came the game “mingle,” where the players had to group up based on a random number announced over the PA system. when the voice said “two,” both thanos and nam-gyu grabbed your arm at the same time. “she’s going with me,” thanos barked, pulling you toward him. “what the fuck about me?” nam-gyu shot back, tugging you in the opposite direction. if it hadn’t been for se-mi, who quickly pulled you into a room with her (the two boys found a room next to you), the four of you would’ve fucking died.
the tension escalated at night. at first, both of them insisted on sleeping next to your bunk bed. but as time went on, they started fighting over who got to sleep in your bed. it started as bickering—“move, she doesn’t want you here,” nam-gyu would snap, trying to shove thanos aside. “speak for yourself, bro,” thanos would shoot back, climbing up anyway. it’s like a power struggle between two self-proclaimed alpha males, but it’s over you, which just feels awkward. each one tries to subtly imply their superiority by making the argument about who has the better “qualifications” to be your bunkmate. eventually, the rivalry reached its peak when they both tried to squeeze into your bed at the same time. you ended up stuck between them, neither willing to back down, and neither particularly caring how uncomfortable it made you.
despite the rivalry, the situation eventually settles into some sort of… equilibrium. neither thanos nor nam-gyu backed down completely, but they seemed to reach an unspoken agreement. the two of them started “sharing” you, like some fucked up custody arrangement.
you start to realise that maybe—just maybe—this unholy triangle might not be such a bad thing after all. meal time turned into a prelude for something else entirely. when everyone was distracted, one of them would catch your eye, silently signaling for you to follow. you’d find yourself slipping away to meet them in the bathroom stall.
thanos is all energy, and unable to shut up—being balls deep inside you, his dirty talk came easily, an endless stream of words that tumbled out in rapid succession, that had you equal parts flustered and irritated. especially with how careless he was. you’d have to kiss him just to silence him, pressing your lips to his until his words were replaced by muffled groans. whenever you grabbed his hair, his reaction was instant—a breathy whimper that only seemed to spur him on more. but almost as quickly as the sound left his lips, he was smirking, leaning in to tease you. “don’t mess it up, baby,” he’d warn, his voice playful yet smug. “this shit cost a lot to style.”
nam-gyu, in contrast, was rougher and far less interested in theatrics. he wasn’t one for words—far too focused to waste time on anything unnecessary. he had you pinned firmly against the partition wall, the cool surface digging into your back as beads of perspiration formed along his brow. the thin structure trembled violently under the sheer force of his movements, creaking with every thrust as though it might give way at any second. the silence between you was broken only by a few curses and grunts that escaped him.
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seasidefallenangel · 10 days ago
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gimme, gimme, gimme a man
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calling bllk boys your husband while you're still dating ft. isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, itoshi rin, itoshi sae
notes: fluff, banter, down bad loverboys, use of "wife" in sae's but gn other than that, part 2 here
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༄ isagi: “... i’ll grab a chocolate shake, and my husband’s gonna get the vanilla.”
✣ freezes on the spot and stares at you with wide eyes. him? husband? you wanna marry him? he was hoping you were in the long haul the same way he was, but hearing those words from your mouth made him even giddier than he assumed he’d be. imagine when you two actually get married? he’ll be in the trenches.
⁀➷  “did you mean that?” he asks when the worker closes the window while you wait for your order. you can practically see the tail wagging behind him as he beams at you with those sparkling blue eyes. when you give a nod and a small smile, he has to stop himself from blowing up with excitement. instead, he kisses your forehead and murmurs, “i can’t wait to marry you one day.”
༄ nagi:
“oh, that copy in the corner! my husband’s been looking all over for it.”
✣ eternal soldier in the idgaf war. you can’t even tell if he heard you because his facial expression doesn’t budge in the slightest. he’s still tap-tapping away at his phone while the shop employee grabs the game case and hands it to you. it’s only once you’ve paid and left the store that he finally puts his phone down and rests his head on your shoulder from behind, staring up at you with those big, brown puppy eyes.
⁀➷ “‘husband’”? he asked softly, curious but not displeased. you nod sheepishly, admitting it just sort of came out before you had a chance to think. he hums softly, wrapping his arms around your waist and snuggling into your neck. cute as it is, you’re still very much in public, and he’s not exactly light. when you ask him to get off, his face shifts into a pout and he mumbles, “can’t believe i’m gonna marry someone so mean.” despite his attitude, this’ll be lingering on his mind for awhile.
༄ rin:
“excuse me? my husband wanted to kn-” “boyfriend.”
✣ is having absolutely none of it. he swears his blood pressure has gotten concerningly high since he started dating you and dealing with all your stupid pranks. it seems like he’s annoyed since he immediately interjected, but it’s more the opposite. he knows he wants to marry you, but do you really think he’s worth the trouble? looking that far into the future worries him, but he’d never let you know that. ⁀➷ a pair of lithe fingers squeezes your cheeks after rin pulls you away from the employee with a deadpan expression. he pulls at your cheeks with narrow eyes, asking you, “what the hell was that about? husband? are you stupid or something?” your lower lip juts out as you express to him that you really do want to marry him someday, and just wanted to hear how it sounded coming from your mouth. he knows you’re playing him as you try not to grin, but the confession is rather cute. he lets it slide with an “idiot” under his breath, and you decide not to mention the slight blush on his cheeks and the fact he has your hand in a vice grip as you walk out of the store.
༄ sae:
“oi. my wife asked for a medium. remake it.”
✣ beats you to the punch. he’s always one step ahead in every aspect of your relationship, but this is too much. how on earth did he know that you were gonna call him your husband to see his reaction? well - he didn’t. he just refers to you as his wife internally most of the time, and occasionally when he’s out buying gifts and tells the employee who he’s buying it for. after all, you’ll be his wife one day. might as well start early.
⁀➷ sae glances down at you, raising an eyebrow at your disgruntled expression. when you bemoan that he “stole your thunder,” he flicks you on the forehead before wrapping an arm around your waist. his lips brush against your ear, making you shiver while he speaks, “you do know that you being my wife also means i’m your husband, dumbass. does it matter who said what?” when you sputter and try to pull out the fact he hasn’t even proposed yet, he tugs you closer, looking irritated that you’d even bring up something so simple. it’s a cold day in hell before anyone else gets the chance, and he informs you as such, saying, “because none of the diamonds i’ve found are big enough,” leaving you speechless while he pretends like nothing happened. you’ll never win against him - ever.
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bagholes · 1 month ago
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English subtitles for Johanne Sacreblue
You've probably heard of a parody of Emilia Pérez (produced by a Mexican trans woman!!!) called Johanne Sacreblue. The whole thing is in Spanish (and French, obviously), so I translated the whole thing to English (see read more)
While I wasn't involved in the production of the original short, I'm Mexican and I have a degree in Translation and Applied Linguistics, so hopefully you'll enjoy my translation. Please give the video some love and don't give Emilia Pérez more attention!!
!!!!!!!! ENGLISH SUBTITLES !!!!!!!!!
(Hey! I'm a professional translator, and I translated the whole thing in English. Please upvote so more people can enjoy this video!)
Ah, nauseating France.   
Home of wonderful food such as baguettes, croissants, and more.
Lots of wonderful people live here.
Obviously, we’re French. 
This might look like a love story,
but open your eyes and pay attention!
In France there’s rising burglary rates. 
But why tell you about France when I can show you?
Welcome to la France!
��
Welcome to la France.
A unique and special country.
Where you’ll know what it means to truly love. Love, love from France.
Live the experience of this place. 
[Homer Simpson voice] Wow, classy.
Maitre D': Good evening, sir. Would you please leave without a fuss right now?
Homer: OK.
Welcome to la France
where you’ll get your heart stolen,
and your wallet, too.
Welcome to la France,
but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,
I want you to stay back. 
Crêpes? Les crêpes? I didn’t shower today. 
I’m not worried. I smell just fine. 
Like rats, sweat, and wine.
The cheese I eat smells better than me,
but my perfume can take care of it. 
I love feeling superior. 
Here’s some rapping just because. 
Oh, mon ami. Merci. Sacré bleu. Comment tu t’appelles? Merci. Déjà vu. Bon voyage! Pizza, kwason. 
It’s croissant, croissant, croissant!
Welcome to la France
where you’ll get your heart stolen,
and your wallet, too.
Welcome to la France,
but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,
I want you to stay back. 
Hit it, Mbappé. 
Viva Cinco the Mayo!
Long live cakes!
Marie Antoinette! 
Long live cakes!
My fucking crêpe still hurts when I think of you
Part 1: surprise and challenge.
Maybe all those years living in a ranch were good for him.
He wasn’t living in a ranch!
He lived in Mexico City for ten years.
Same thing. It might as well have been a jungle.
Mexicans are savages. 
Do you know what they do to cheese over there?
They eat it fresh!
I don’t think he copied their ways.
He’s still a good Frenchman.
He better be. I expect no less.
He’s my only son. 
All the suffering in Mexico must’ve gotten rid of his rebel nature. 
He’ll be the perfect man. The perfect male successor for the largest baguette company in France.
My son. My manly son. 
Did I already mention that my son is a man?
He’s here!
Maman, papa… bonjour!
Son of a-
[title credits] Johanne Sacreblue. Directed by someone with ADHD.
What were you up to in Mexico?
I learned how to open a beer using a bill.
Jonathan is using a dress, Bridgitte. And he has breasts! What do you think he was up to in Mexico?
Now my name is Johanne.
Nonsense! You’re not getting the company. No way. 
That’s fine. I don’t even want it. 
Honey, it’s your future. You’re our only DAUGHTER. You have to take the position. 
You’ll get the company. End of story. 
You don’t even want me to own the company!
Because I didn’t think it’s what you wanted!
Why did we stop speaking French?
What did you say?
Nothing. I got confused.
I’ll tell you something: remember the Ratatouille? They gave us this letter. They challenged us to the national France competition to decide once and for all what’s better: baguettes or croissants. 
Do you want to enjoy your fortune? Win this competition and manage the company. Or go back to Mexico to eat guacamole.
For the last time, no! You won’t get the company. 
I’m the only one who’s always loved croissants.
I’m the oldest son. It’s my right. 
Your right? How can think that about your brothers?
Any of them could do a good job.
Hugo can’t get over his artistic phase and he’s addicted to sniffing paint thinner!
I’m not just sniffing paint thinner! Yellow paint makes me happy.
Mario Hugo! Good luck with his twangy voice.
Mario Hugo: I agree with my beloved brother, but I love you, my family. 
No one knows what you’re saying!
Dugo is young! Why can’t it be me?
Well, first of all, you don’t have a penis!
Oof. Gotcha.
I’m trans. Other than that, I haven’t changed at all. 
Does it really affect you that much?
I’ve made myself clear: anything that affects our family affects me!
It’s not that we don’t love you, honey, it’s just that… you embarrass us. 
You’re not even an Hugo!
Yes, I am! I’m [French accent] Arturo! (Translator’s note: the rhyme got lost in translation. Sorry about that). 
“Arturo” isn’t “Hugo”!
Yes, it is! Ar-tu-ro!
Where did you get that?
Well… Chofls!! The letter!
The Sacrebleu have invited us to the Great Paris Competition. We will show once and for all what food item best represents our country! If you beat that family’s stupid transexual, you’ll get the company
I don’t know what to do, bestie. I don’t want to own that goddamn company. 
And why don’t you learn how to do something?
Because if I do it, they’re gonna cut me off, and I’ll be an unemployed, 28-year-old trans woman who has no life skills. 
Why don’t you just tell your father that you don’t want to do it and that you won’t do it?
It’s too late. I have no choice. 
Bestie, I’m so sorry you can’t enjoy your fortune with no commitment.
It’s awful…
Good evening, ladies. What can I get you?
I’ll have some French molletes.
I’ll have chicken.
Of course, ma’am. How shall we cook it?
Anything is fine as long as you kill it as cruelly as possible. 
Excellent choice, ma’am.
Anything else? Would that be all?
That’ll be all. Well, actually, I think I also want-
You said that would be all! You must assume the consequences of your decisions. Rot in hell! [spits]
Oh my, what a great service!
I know! They have the best customer service in France! Okay, so are you signing up for the competition?
I really don’t have a choice…
Bestie, you can do anything. You’re stronger than every woman I know, and I’m not just saying this because you used to be a man…
Thanks for the clarification.
You’re gonna compete and you’re gonna win.
Emily, you have no idea how much that means to me. You’re the only reason I wanted to come to Paris. I wanted to see my friend Emily in Paris. It was the only reason I wanted to come tot this city: see Emily in Paris.
Oh là là, I know! Everyone tells me that! What I don’t get is why you don’t want to compete. This is such an honor for France-
It’s just that there’s a lot of things I don’t understand since I came back. Why are we so impolite? Why do we love animal cruelty? And why exactly do we hate Muslims? 
Because it’s fun!
Yeah, maybe, but have you ever considered that it’s wrong?
Oh my God! You’re right! I’d never thought about it! We’re awful!
Oui!
What we do to birds… we drown them in cognac! Why are we doing it? Who thought of that?
I don’t know.
I feel.. dirty! I want to take a shower!
I knew I wasn’t crazy!
Seriously… I never thought that we were doing something wrong. I always thought that people who get minimum wage liked how we treat them. No wonder they sent you to Mexico… You’re crazy.
I got sent to Mexico for being trans.
They sent you to Mexico because you’ve been hallucinating. You’re seeing Marie Antoinette.
I’m not hallucinating! It’s the actual ghost of Marie Antoinette.
Marie Antoinette: don’t listen to hear. She dresses like a Guatemalan. I’m as real as my tragic death. They should behead her for having such damaged hair.
There’s no point in knowing the truth about France. At the end of the day, I’m just an ordinary French millionaire with enough money to live for four days. There’s nothing I can do.
Marie Antoinette: [unintelligible] sleep paralysis at night.
If you win, all of France will listen to you.
Ladybug: Welcome to the most important competition of la France, where France’s most important families will make a very important decision.
Cat Noir: that’s right! We’re here to make a very important decision. What food best represents France: baguettes or croissants?
Our fellow citizens will know what we’re talking about, but for those dirty foreigners that only know how to use soap…
Wear perfume!
We’ll explain the rules.
There’s two events: whoever wins both will be victorious!
The first even will be a race! The first one to reach the Eiffel tower, touch it and say our catchphrase “we give up!” will be the winner!
Without further ado, we’re heading to the competition!
It’s the best race I’ve seen years!
The Ratatouille throw a croissant to the Sacreblue and almost slashes her throat. It’s cat-tastic!
But Johanne takes the lead with 400 rats, and she wins the race!
Rats! Meow!
Here she comes!
Vive la France!
Your love for croissants ends here. What an embarrassment!
Don’t feel bad, honey. I never really expected anything from you. 
Arturo, I’m not gonna lie…
Brother, defeat will only make you stronger.
What?
You’re a great man. You’ll make it. 
Can I have five French dollars to buy yellow paint? I want to paint. 
Later that night in some French dumpster
I’m just a trash man in Paris.
Another piece of trash in Paris.
But I’m also the greatest trash
I’m the trash man.
I’m such trash that I made a fortune using other cultures.
I’m such trash that I enjoy cancelling last minute
because I’m scared 
that they’ll see my tiny baguette.
I don’t have the guts to say that I fucked up.
I’m scared to know what people think of me
If I’m a good guy or just a bald bad guy
I’m such trash that it’s embarrassing.
I thought Karla Sofia was from Puebla.
I’m such trash that I wrote a musical about narcos.
“Penis to vagina, woman to man.”
What the fuck was that shit, bro?
I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 
I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 
Part 2: from hate to love
Why did you ask me to meet you here?
[sigh] I came to ask you to stop fighting over something as dumb as bread.
Baguettes are just bread, but croissants are France itself. It’s in our veins, in our wine, in the air we breathe!
Arturo, wait, don’t do it!
[coughing]
You can’t take a deep breath in France. Dumbass.
Whatever. You’re just saying this because you’ve been away for a long time. You’re nothing but a chimichanga lover. 
Cinco de Mayo!
How dare you!
Does it make you feel good to be a man hitting a woman?
Actually, yes. Now I get why we do it.
I’ve had enough! I can’t take it anymore! What’s wrong with France? Why do they like to hit women? Why do they like racism? Can’t you see that what we’re doing is wrong?
Actually, no. I had never thought about it. I never considered that… Oh my God… We’re monsters! What are we doing? We must put an end to this!
But how?
You’ll do it with me. With your amazing arguments, we’ll change France. 
Do you think it can be done? But how?
Oui, mademoiselle. If you let me win the second event, it’ll be a tie, and they’ll have to listen to us according to the French rules I hadn’t mentioned before. 
I don’t know if I can trust you.
Trust me, mademoiselle. Trust this stinky French heart.
Alright. Kiss me.
Do you want me to kiss you?
Yes. Give me a French kiss.
Here it’s just “a kiss”, stupid
Welcome to the second competition!
This is the most fabulous competition! It’s the racism competition!
That’s right, Cat Noir! And for those stupid Americans who don’t know what we’re talking about, in this competition, participants are given a total of 30 minutes to deport and catch as many immigrants as possible.
Everything is allowed: from making up crimes to blackmailing! 
Each Muslim is worth 5 points. However, participants can get extra points from hate crimes against Muslims, Black people, Latinos, members of the LGBT community, and fans of Emily in Paris!
Let’s watch the racism competition!
We apologize for the technical issues. Cat Noir had a fanatic episode. 
It was amazing! With a great lead, our winner, Arturo, was victorious. So we’ll have to call this a tie. 
Oh! For the first time in more than ten years, we’re getting some words from our ten French emperors!
Stop!
There… won’t be… a tie!
This decision will no longer be postponed. 
 Declaramos abierto el duelo final.
And it’ll happen right now.
Because I love Queen Marie Antoinette.
The final duel…
It’s the fight to the death with baguettes!
Good luck! And may the Frenchest win. Yes. Oui. Oui. Oui.
[Elmo]
Part 3: destiny
Fight to the death with baguettes?!
Fight to the death with baguettes?!
Fight to the death with baguettes?!
I think there’s gonna be a fight to the death with baguettes.
What? Fight to the death with baguettes? What’s that?
Oh, fight to the death with baguettes. I’ve heard about it. I think they’re gonna fight to the death… with baguettes.
[gasp]
Johanne: I don’t want to fight to the death with baguettes with you.
Arturo: Neither do I, but we have no choice.
J: Yes, there is. Haven’t they considered that this is wrong?
No!
Arturo: Papa Johns!
Papa Johns: I pitted your families against you with a little help from whom you love the most… your butlers. 
Arturo: Chofls!
Johanne: Wigles, why?
Wiggles: I’m sorry, madame. I need the money, and you haven’t given me raise in 25 years. 
Papa Johns: I’ll destroy you so the greatest French food gets recognition: French fries!
Johanne: You’re losing a lot of wine.
Johanne: you have a rat on your head!
Papa Johns: this tiny chef taught me his secrets, and I used them for evil. 
Wigles: I think I got Stockholm syndrome due to so many years of labor exploitation.
And that’s how we got away from the bad guy, Mr. French ambassador. 
Controlled by a rat… The nightmare of every French. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s how Johanne Sacreblue and Arturo Ratatouille restored the glory of France. What a captivating story you’ve brought us, full of pain and social commentary. Is there anything else you would like to add before we run out of funds?
Well, actually, yes. As many of you know, I went to Mexico, and my fellow Mexicans asked me to bring a gift to France when I came back, and what a better person to give it to than the ambassador? 
Oh, what wonderful surprise have you brought from Mexico? Could it be some wonderful Mexican tortillas?
Wait… Is that-
Yes, a cake. Un gâteau. 
[Credits]
And that’s the story of how your parents saved la France.
Thanks for telling me these stories, grandma.
My grand-son. My grand-son, a boy…
[sigh] 
Tito, my grandson Tito (translator’s note: another rhyme that got lost in translation. Sorry again). Tito, tito. My grandson Tito. 
You smell like frog legs in the morning.
You smell like you haven’t showered in weeks. 
You smell like a moldy baguette.
You smell like the omelette that I ate. 
You smell like cheese. Smelly, smelly!
You smell like your grandma.
Tito, Tito, Tito, my grandson Tito. 
You smell like snails. You smell like escargot.
You smell like France. 
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marsian-tango · 2 months ago
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Yandere Alien
Part 2
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A normal person should be allowed to have normal problems, right? You’re no exception. You have a job that forces you to get out of bed at 8 AM, a shitty apartment that needs to be cleaned and tidied from time to time, bills to pay.
You have a life, you’re busy. But god, you’re exhausted!
You may be an adult, but you’re still young, and sometimes you just need to take a little break from everything!
So when you decide to spend your money on a modest trip to the countryside, staying in a secluded but cozy cabin, you’re finally able to relax…
CRASH!
Or maybe not.
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Yandere! Alien who crashes his ship near your cabin, and is pretty much trapped in the debris.
Yandere! Alien who you manage to find through all the metallic rubble, using all your strength to drag his large body to your cabin. Tending to him despite your raw confusion and fear. Trying your best to steady your shaking hands to clean his wounds. How were you supposed to clean a wound again? Ugh! Maybe reddit knows?
Yandere! Alien who in his almost unconscious state, looks at you through half lidded eyes, taking in your soft features and small frame. You look so cute with his blood all over your hands! He can’t believe he got saved by such an adorable human. He needs to learn your culture so he can court you properly. Oh! Will you accept him right away or will you wait a little? Will you come live with him on his planet or should he just remain here with you?
Yandere! Alien who eventually passes out with a lazy smile painting his face, dreaming of how your relationship will develop.
Yandere! Alien who wakes up the next day with waves of pain rushing through his body. But he can only focus on the faint smell that envelops him. The bed he’s lying in…it must be yours! It smells just like you. He takes a deep breath, taking in your sweet aroma. He then gets up from the bed slowly, letting out a groan, he ventures through the cabin until he finds you.
Yandere! Alien who sees you pacing around the living room with a tired and stressed look. Oh, his poor human. You didn’t expect to meet him, neither did he. But don’t worry, he’ll take care of you from now on. After all, you saved him, so it’s the least he can do!
Yandere! Alien who clings to you constantly. He just can’t be away from you! You smell so good, and you’re cute, and small, and so...his. He thought that physical contact was the universal way to show affection, so why are you trying to push him away when he hugs you? It must be a game, right? Yeah, you’re just being silly!
Yandere! Alien who tries to learn your language through shows and movies, while also trying to learn a more human way to court you. It isn’t perfect, but at least you can understand him now.
Yandere! Alien who completely ruined the normality of your life. Having to take him to your house and give him a home. Cause who knows what could happen to him if you don’t? What if the government finds him and experiments with him in a lab? You don’t want that in your conscience!
Yandere! Alien who hates when you go to work. But if he finds out that you’re going out with your friends or, God forbid, a man? Oh, yeah, you’re definitely not leaving. Have fun trying though.
Yandere! Alien who enjoys seeing you struggle against his grip. He’s so much larger and stronger than you. You could bite, scratch, and push as much as you want. It practically tickles him, and it only makes him look down at you with those lovestruck, condescending eyes of his.
Yandere! Alien who’s romantic advances don’t go unnoticed by you, but you just don’t know what to do anymore! You’ve tried your best to make your intentions clear. You saved him, you took him, and you’ll keep him for now. That’s it. You’ve tried telling him countless times that you don’t like him in that way, so why doesn’t he stop cuddling you and asking you to marry him?!
Yandere! Alien who daydreams about his future with you. He’s starting to like earth, so he truly wouldn’t mind living here with you forever. It has nice movies, food that doesn’t exist on his planet, and a funny thing called ‘internet’. He can’t leave your apartment unless it’s nighttime, so when he found out that he could interact with other humans and learn more about your world through this ‘internet’ he was ecstatic! He started learning ways to court you, to treat you, to make you laugh. He even found a website where he can learn how to please you! That one will come very handy once you two get married.
Yandere! Alien who can’t wait to make you officially his…
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This is the first time I write for something that isn't school, so this is very new to me. Please excuse my amateur ass, and if you find any mistakes please let me know, cause English isn't my first language. I would really like some feedback, so be as mean as you want, I just want to grow as a writer, even if nobody reads this. Kisses <3
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inside-lees-mind · 1 year ago
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Naruto Characters Accidentally Calling their Girlfriend their Wife
MR KRABSSSS I HAVE AN IDEAAA
Fem reader (or if you want to be called wife)
Characters: Naruto, Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji, Neji, Rock Lee, Kankuro, and Gaara.
(Masterlist is up now) also I’ll be adding Sai to this in the morning
Naruto Uzumaki
He’s talking to some new people and enthusiastically pulls you to his side, a large smile on his face, and he says “This is my wife! Y/N!”
You can’t hide your shock, not fully at least. He’s never called you his wife before. I mean, he’s said things like “you’ll be my future wife, right?” As he giggles or something.
But you are in a state of shock that he introduced you that way.
Nonetheless, you’re happy.
If the person makes a comment about how young or cute you two are for a married couple, he’d realize. Likely, he’d respond a little oddly, stuttering, but recovers and just full sends with the claim you’re his wife.
Sasuke Uchiha
If he’s with you, you’re gonna be his wife anyways. He didn’t get with you until he was sure of that, because it took him a long time to realize he felt that way anyways.
So he calls you his wife with full confidence, before realizing his mistake. However, he doesn’t care too much to correct himself or anything.
Because you are gonna marry him right? (He’s actually really nervous to propose, but he won’t admit that.)
People would probably just believe him immediately considering just how serious he is about you to even be with you.
When you confront him about it later, he’ll ask you if that was okay, explain it was a mistake, but he’ll probably comment on how he’s dating to marry anyways so… you might as well be his wife.
You can probably expect a proposal soon.
Shino Aburame
I can’t fully see this happening tbh. However, let’s say that it does.
He’d probably over explain himself to the person he referred of you as his wife too.
Not that he doesn’t want you as his wife, but you haven’t said you’ll be his wife yet. So he can’t call you his wife. That’s how he sees it.
He’ll probably think he messed up and upset you, so you’ll have to explain it was cute.
Once you explain to him, he’ll see your point. Maybe with some reluctance to lighten up on himself.
He’ll be happy you want to be seen as his wife though.
Kiba Inuzuka
Realized his mistake, but he could not be bothered.
He will keep on as if there is no mistake. As if you are legally married.
He’ll be upset if you correct him in front of people.
It’ll turn into a bit of an argument if you correct him in any way other than sweetly.
Because what the big deal???
If you leave it alone, and talk to him later, now he’s nervous and stuttering. But he’ll likely comment on how he knows you want to marry him so you might as well be called his wife.
Shikamaru Nara
Immediately realizing what slipped out his mouth.
Does he really want you to be his wife? Well, of course he does. But that’s a lot for him to accidentally spill out to some strangers you’re both meeting.
They don’t know he made a mistake, because you roll with it.
Later, he’ll try to avoid talking about it, but if you bring it up, he’ll say it was a mistake, don’t take it so seriously.
If you seem down about his underwhelming response, he’ll likely have an actual talk about his future with you to reassure you that he was just being an idiot when he said that.
Choji Akimichi
He forgot you’re not his wife.
I think Choji would just love you so much that he would simply treat you like a wife. To the point he forgets, you’re not his wife.
If you comment on it, he’ll think about it and probably be like ohhhh right.
He’ll apologize, but more than likely you’ll just say it was cute.
I can see him calling you wifey.
But if he’s gonna call you that, he’s gotta get you that ring. He’s planning on it as yall speak.
Neji Hyuga
You two are waiting a while before calling it official. Plans of marriage are far off.
He’s a little too traditional to jump at marriage quickly.
So when he accidentally calls you his wife, it was to Hiashi. He went pale. Paler than usual.
Later, depending on how exactly that went, he’ll probably be in his head.
Let’s assume for this though, that Hiashi approves of you completely.
Hiashi made a comment, rather he meant it badly or not, Neji will take it the wrong way. Realize he jumped too far.
You’ll have to tell him you find it cute, and rather his uncle approves of you two or not, you’ll be his wife someday :)
Rock Lee
It COULD be an honest mistake.
But let’s be honest,
It’s Lee.
He calls you his wife to your face, to other people, hell, he’d shout it from the roof tops.
So it’s not an accident. He meant it. He will one day make you his wife, so why would he not call you his wife now!
If you have any reserves about being called his wife before actual marriage, he will pout and be upset. He won’t understand.
But, once that’s over, he’s crying and begging for forgiveness.
Please tell him it’s cute that he wants to marry you, even if you do want to have a talk with him about not assuming roles you don’t officially have.
Gaara
HE CALLED YOU HIS WIFE IN FRONT OF A CROWD. so now he’s blushing.
He might correct his mistake, might not. Depends.
He’s a confident speaker, but that threw him off a little bit.
Likely you were a strong shinobi or something and he was trying to give you credit where it’s due, but it didn’t go as planned.
When you too are alone later, you’ll bring it up likely.
If you tell him you thought it was cute or sweet, he’ll turn bright red like his hair.
He likely won’t go on calling you his wife or anything. Maybe in private.
But he’s not ashamed of it. After all, he’s strongly considering marriage.
Kankuro
Called you his wife to his siblings while you were over for dinner.
Temari is not letting him live it down.
“Hey, I think your wife is trying to get your attention.” “I don’t know, maybe ask your wife?” “What about your wife?” From then on out.
He’s frustrated because it was a mistake, BUTTTT honestly, eventually he’ll make some snarky comment about how at least he’s closer to marriage than she is. Then he probably harps on Shikamaru a little bit in defense for his own comment.
(He approves of Shikamaru tho, if he’s being real. He just thinks it’s a little funny)
As long as this is before a certain point.
He decides to call you his wife to your face.
He’ll call you that to tease you now.
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dollishmehrayan · 1 month ago
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# “WOULD YOU DO ANYTHING FOR ME?, BUY A BIG DIAMOND RING FOR ME?” ── .✦ ( how batboys act when they’re engaged w reader )
dollish note ౨ৎ: I lowkey crashed out over losing Americans on tiktok but this woke up to post on tumblr but hey, also can we talk about how trump used that as a pr stunt && thought we wouldn’t notice wtf like omgg the way many americans caught on, alsoo please leave some motivation for me because I just kinda lost motivation for this app after the tiktok thingy went down 🫠 tags: (batboys x engaged!reader)
© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )
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DICK GRAYSON ── .✦
Over the moon and not afraid to show it. Dick tells everyone the second you say yes. Alfred? He knows. Random stranger in the grocery store? The metro security guy?, Yep, they know too. He’s got that goofy, lovestruck grin plastered on his face 24/7.
Wedding planning enthusiast. You thought you’d do most of the planning? Wrong. Dick’s fully invested, showing you Pinterest boards of venues, color schemes, and “Do you think Nightwing blue (dollish note: I think ‘#3366CC’ perhaps?) would be tacky for the napkins?”
Gets sappy at random times. You’ll catch him staring at you with a dreamy look, and when you ask why, he just shrugs. “I’m just thinking about how lucky I am.”, “Dick calm down you only proposed like 2 weeks ago.”
Brags to the Batfam constantly. “Guys, I’m going to be a husband! Can you believe it? Me! Richard Grayson!” Bruce pretends to be joyful a bit but he’s done hearing it for the 777x time but even he cracks a small smile when Dick won’t shut up about you.
Practices saying his vows in the mirror. You walked in on him once, and he was mortified. “Okay, but you didn’t hear the good part yet!”, “You literally finished the whole paper !!”
JASON TODD ── .✦
Acts like it’s not a big deal, but it’s huge for him. He’ll play it cool at first, saying something like, “It’s just a ring, babe.” But deep down, he’s nervous, excited, and trying not to let it show.
Keeps the engagement low-key. Jason’s not one for flashy announcements or grand gestures. He wants this to be something special between you two, not the whole world.
Protective x10. Now that you’re officially going to be his spouse, Jason is extra watchful. He’s already looking into ways to keep you safe and makes sure you’re never caught in the crossfire of his vigilante life.
Wants you to be 100% comfortable. He checks in with you constantly about the wedding plans. “We don’t have to do anything big, okay? Just say the word, and it’s done.” He’ll let you take the lead but secretly loves when you include him.
Teases you with the whole “fiancé” thing. “Hey, fiancée. Can you grab my coffee? Oh, did I mention you’re my fiancée now?” It’s his way of hiding how excited he really is.
TIM DRAKE ── .✦
Nervous wreck but totally in love. Tim overthinks everything after proposing. Did he pick the right ring? Did he say the right words? Is he even ready to be a husband? But every time he sees you smile, it calms him down.
Keeps it practical. Tim doesn’t want a huge engagement party or a grand wedding. He’s more focused on what your future together will look like your shared goals, finances, and making sure you’re both on the same page.
Researches marriage like it’s a mission. He has books on successful relationships, listens to podcasts, and even makes a checklist for wedding planning. You find it adorable when he starts using color coded spreadsheets.
Loves when you call him your fiancé. The first time you said it, he blushed so hard he had to look away. Now he’s low-key obsessed with hearing it. “You don’t have to keep calling me that… but don’t stop either.”
Gets emotional when he thinks about the future. You once caught him staring at the engagement ring on your finger, looking teary-eyed. When you asked what was wrong, he said, “I just can’t believe you’re actually mine.” (I would’ve smacked the shit out of him for that, I don’t do romance 🙄💪)
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erensfeed · 1 month ago
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Hello!! Can you please do lnd men where the reader gets dizzy easily for example in car if there's no music or they're not sitting at the window they get dizzy orif there's a strong smell at the vehicle they get dizzy like how would they react to that?
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⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀。 WHEN YOU FEEL DIZZY IN THE CAR .ᐟ 。
featuring: rafayel. zayne. sylus. xavier. caleb x reader.
៹ cw. fluff. mentions of dizziness + lightheadedness.
⌞ an⌝ hiii pookieee!!!! omg i literally apologize for how this took longer but i hope you enjoy these bunch & it’s sweet enough for you! also, make sure you take care during/after times you may feel a bit dizzy ♡︎ future doc orders here👻
wc. 1.4k
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rafayel.
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has this tender worried look etched onto his face the moment he notices you looking uneasy.
if you admit to him that you were feeling dizzy in the car, he would roll down the windows so you could get some cool fresh air and then ask how you feel after.
"should i take you to the hospital? no? are you sure?"
closing your eyes now, you’d manage to laugh about how it doesn’t feel that serious, just to make him less worried because ironically, he would be the one who’s more stressed.
if he’s driving & can pull over, he will. if not, he’ll drive slower, smoother—making sure you feel safe until he can stop somewhere or even home.
knows how woozy you may be feeling regardless, so he would hold your hand in his to keep you grounded as his way of not wanting you to go through the feeling alone and would keep glancing back at you more than the road.
when you get home, he’d ask if you can walk or if you'd want him to carry you.
settles you to rest on the couch then comes over to add more pillows to keep you comfortable so you can relax for the rest of the day.
makes you drink lots of water too then moves to open the windows at home too.
asks how you’re doing again after the 110th time you told him you’re better because he really wants to make sure.
"it's hard for me to see you unwell you know."
also asks if you need anything and when you tell him you just want to cuddle, he’d be happy to and reassures you that you’ll fully be a-okay after sleeping and waking up.
still talks gently here and there while you’re sound asleep in his arms.
when you wake up he asks again how you feel. “feeling better? good.”
lightly chuckles with you after on how you looked like a dizzy bean emoji but in a cute endearing teasing way of course (even though seeing you dizzy made him a worried parent.)
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zayne.
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zayne notices before you even say anything. the second your posture shifts or your breathing changes, his attention would be on you.
“dizzy?” he would ask softly and all it would take is for you to confirm it before he would already either have the window up with the ac on or down for fresh air depending on what needed to be done to avoid making you nauseous.
prioritizes you no matter the level of how bad it feels for you.
parks somewhere better, safe and quiet & would have a bottle of water ready in the center console storage.
helps hold it for you with one hand and the other behind your head.
his doctor instincts would kick in without thinking and he’d ask questions and give instructions.
“how bad is it? “do you feel lightheaded or nauseous?”
“okay, close your eyes. now breathe slowly. here—gently press your forehead against the seat. it’ll help.”
when you get home, he would also carry you and would help you take off extra layers of clothes so you feel less suffocated and so it doesn’t happen again.
would make you herbal tea or some sugar tea to drink then gives you medication to help.
“your blood sugar levels might’ve dropped."
if you tease him for being in ‘doctor mode’ he would just simply smile a little and crouch to your level then say something like
“tease me all you want but i’ll always put your health first.”
because doctor or not, you’re his #1 priority.
(affectionately) lectures you about you needing to stay away from doing things that’ll trigger your stress/dizziness while you’re in his arms in bed.
if you tried to talk he shushes you and kisses the top of your head instead so you sleep.
monitors you a lot more (than usual) since then.
you'd hear more "no. and i mean it, doctor’s orders."
you won’t ever have to face dizziness/lightheadedness when you’re with him as much after that. and in the car, in most cases, the window would be already down/up depending on whether you need fresh air or not, to prevent it from happening .
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sylus.
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notices when you instinctively touch his arm and asks “what’s wrong?”
the moment you tell him how you feel, he doesn’t panic since he also doesn’t want you to too.
slows down the car and helps you recline your seat back a little and adjusts your seatbelt/unbuckles you so you can relax your head.
“lie down, and close your eyes. do you need me to get you water from the nearest store?”
asks if it’s okay to continue driving & if it is, he drives carefully making sure the car ride is smooth as well.
“here, take my hand and keep closing your eyes if it gets bad.”
plays a calming & soothing music right after to help you.
later, whether or not you can walk & are feeling better, he’d carry you bridal style inside and would gently settle you on the bed when you’re home.
reads about what to do to stop/prevent it again and what to make for you to eat.
spoon feeds you soups/meals he made that can help.
“sylus you do know i can feed myself right?”
“i know sweetie, but let me.”
pampers you the whole day.
although he notices when you act even more dizzy for his attention, he chuckles to himself about it but still obliges by taking care of you and doesn’t mention it.
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xavier.
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super gentle about it. his whole demeanor softens the second you tell him.
places a hand on top of your head to see if you’re running a temperature first.
“are you sick?”
when you tell him it’s from a super strong random smell from outside that's getting you this way, he’d have the windows up and turn on the ac.
“will it help if you lean on me? i don’t mind, i just want you to feel okay.”
once you get home, he doesn't leave your side unless it's to go get you water or medicine he got.
offers to cook you something.
orders it instead because it’s already one thing to worry about than burnt food.
searches online and finds out that meat helps.
“i knew it. see, it's like i told you. meat always helps everything.”
he would say to you, making you both laugh.
makes you some ginger tea before the food arrives.
“i read this will help too. careful, it’s a little hot so take slow sips. here, let me..”
while feeding you, he would ask if you overworked yourself these past few and if you say yes he would do everything else for you from then on.
“if you take a nap now, you’ll feel even better soon”
if you ask if he wants to sleep too he’d say “no, not yet” and that he prefers watching you fall asleep first as he puts a blanket over you.
plays quiet music as well at home to help you & comes back next to you, to watch you slowly fall asleep.
(ends up falling asleep next to you once you're long asleep)
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caleb.
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catches it when you stop midway your sentence and start blinking and shaking your head.
“hey what's the matter?”
when you let him know, he gently takes your hand in his as he drives carefully to looks for a parking spot.
he has even more reason to protect you by the way.
he’d be worried but keeps a calm face for you as he tells you to relax your head and to lie back on your seat.
cracks the window down just right as well.
“easy, i’ve got you. yeah just close your eyes for a sec and breathe with me, okay? yeah, just like that.”
praises you softly as he comforts you all through.
"good girl."
when you get home, he would do anything that wouldn’t have you stressed or bending down.
if you tried to do something, he’s got it covered instead.
“oh no you don’t.”/“not on my watch.”
while you're resting your eyes, he would ask “do you need anything else?.. like more water? more pillows?.. or maybe… me?”
you’d fully open your eyes to give him this look
(depending on your reaction *mild shock, a smirk or a ??*)
“*softly laughs* geez i meant like a cuddle, princess.”
rubs his thumb over your knuckles absentmindedly during the cuddle, not even realizing he’s doing it and talks with you on how you fit perfectly into him because of times like these too.
even days after you say you’re fine, he still watches you more from the corner of his eye, until you call him out on it.
still does everything and around the house for you even after you feel better and makes sure you eat/drink enough, exercise & sleep better.
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© 𝟤𝟢𝟤4 erensfeed. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽
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