#you x sharon carter

[angelremnants]

American Wedding | S. Rogers

summary : Steve Rogers is throwing himself into mission after mission, trying to outrun the weight of his past—his unresolved feelings for Sharon and the lingering memories of Peggy. But when his commanding officers force him to take a break, Steve ends up on a staycation in Barbados. What begins as a forced respite soon becomes a much-needed escape as he unexpectedly finds healing, peace, and even a connection in the warmth of the Caribbean sun. Steve learns to let go of the past and finally breathe again, even if it’s just for a short while. Inspired by American Wedding (unreleased) by Frank Ocean.

pairing : Steve Rogers x f!reader

warnings : Fluff to angst, imposed traits on the reader such as an origin, emotional healing, mention of past relationships, themes of healing and self-discovery, themes of arranged marriages and family pressure, mentions of emotional and familial abuse, a bit of hurt/comfort, bittersweet ending, mentions of past trauma, mild language. Proceed with caution if you're sensitive to such material.

word count : 12.1k

author's notes : I don't know what's wrong with me and writing long fics with major angst. I think I might have a problem.

If you're still as hooked in the MCU fandom as I am, then it shouldn't be a surprise for you that I stumbled upon the infamous Steve edit on American Wedding. Steve was my first little crush when I started getting into the MCU; it might not be my number one anymore, but I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the work and how well it could somehow fit the vibe of our golden boy.

Side note, I chose Barbados just because I love Rihanna (plus, the country is as gorgeous as she is). I tried to respect the culture as much as I could, but please do let me know if something is amiss. Anyways, here's my take on what this song could mean if associated with America's Ass greatest soldier.

(ao3 version)

The mission was over.

Steve Rogers had traded his usual Captain America tight suit for average civilian clothes and now stood just outside a bustling café in Bridgetown, the late afternoon sun casting a golden hue over the vibrant streets of Barbados. He should’ve been relieved. The intel was secured, the rogue operation dismantled, and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were already working to extract the rest of the loose ends. But instead, Steve felt a familiar weight settle on his shoulders, one he couldn’t quite shake.

The air was heavy with the scent of fried fish and spices, and the sound of calypso music drifted from a nearby street performer. Locals walked by, some glancing curiously at the tall, broad-shouldered man who looked distinctly out of place. Steve’s fingers hovered over his phone, debating whether to call in and request another assignment.

Then, his phone buzzed in his hand, and the name Tony Stark lit up the screen.

Steve answered with a sigh, already bracing himself. “Stark.”

“Capsicle! How’s my favorite star-spangled soldier doing?” Tony’s voice was chipper, the sound of clinking glasses and faint jazz music in the background.

“I’m fine,” Steve replied, scanning the street as though someone might overhear. “Why are you calling?”

“Well, it’s not to remind you to update your playlist based on what I’m hearing in the background—though, seriously, we need to talk about that at some point.” Tony didn’t wait for a response. “No, I’m calling to let you know that for the first time in, oh, forever, we’re at a lull. No alien invasions. No rogue A.I.s. No infinity stones threatening to wipe out half the universe. You know what that means?”

Steve frowned. “That it’s time to prepare for the next crisis?”

Tony let out a dramatic groan. “And people say I’m the workaholic. No, Cap. It means you get a break.”

Steve rolled his eyes, leaning against the café’s wooden railing. “I don’t need a break, Tony. There’s always something that needs to be done—”

“Yeah, no. I’m gonna stop you right there.” Tony’s voice turned pointed, though there was still a hint of his trademark sarcasm. “I talked to Fury, and even he thinks you’ve been overdoing it. And considering the guy’s idea of a vacation involves a bunker and a bottle of bourbon, that’s saying something.”

“I’m fine,” Steve insisted, his tone tightening.

“Fine? Really? I mean, do you even know what day it is? Look, pretty much everyone’s off the grid—Sam, Natasha, even Clint’s in retirement mode. And I’m finally getting around to that honeymoon thing with Pepper because, you know, saving the world isn’t as good for a marriage as you’d think. So you? You need to chill.”

“Tony, I’m fine,” Steve had insisted, though even he didn’t sound convincing.

“Yeah, sure. That’s why you’ve been taking back-to-back missions for the past three months. What’s next? Fighting a volcano?”

Steve opened his mouth to respond, then realized he didn’t.

Tony took his silence as confirmation. “Listen, you’re not a machine, Cap. Even super-soldiers need to decompress. Which is why I, in all my infinite wisdom, am forcing you to take some time off.”

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Tony—”

“Ah-ah! No arguments. Fury’s covering part of the bill, and I’m picking up the rest because I’m such a generous friend. You pick the place—anywhere in the world—and I’ll make it happen. You’re welcome.”

Steve glanced around, his eyes lingering on the vibrant life of the island. The azure waters sparkled in the distance, and the rhythmic sway of the palm trees seemed to beckon him. He hadn’t allowed himself a moment to breathe in months, maybe years.

“I don’t know,” Steve said slowly.

Tony groaned again, louder this time. “Come on, Cap. It’s not like I’m asking you to take a yoga class in Malibu. Though, honestly, you’d kill it in downward dog. No, I’m telling you to pick a nice spot, kick back, and—God forbid—relax for once in your life.”

“Tony—”

“Let me paint you a picture,” Tony interrupted, his tone turning theatrical. “A beachfront villa. Sunsets so pretty they’ll make you cry. Maybe a fruity drink with one of those little umbrellas—wait, scratch that, you’re more of a ‘beer and brooding’ guy. The point is, take the damn vacation, Steve. Doctor’s orders.”

Steve sighed, looking out the window of the outpost at the vibrant streets of Bridgetown. “I’ll stay here,” he said finally. “Barbados seems… peaceful.”

“Atta boy!” Tony cheered. “I’ll wire the funds. And hey, if you don’t send me at least one picture of you in a Hawaiian shirt, I’m gonna be very disappointed.”

Steve couldn’t help the faint smile tugging at his lips. “Thanks, Tony.”

“Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t. I have a reputation to maintain.”

The line went dead, leaving Steve alone with the sounds of the island.

⠀⠀

The first few days in Barbados passed in a blur of quiet solitude. Steve spent most of his time walking along the beach or sitting on the villa’s small porch, nursing a cold drink while the sun dipped below the horizon. For someone used to the constant hum of battlefields, strategy meetings, and high-stakes missions, the stillness was almost unnerving.

But it wasn’t just the quiet that unsettled him—it was the thoughts he’d been pushing aside for months. Thoughts of Sharon.

He’d tried not to dwell on their break-up, but here, surrounded by the warmth and beauty of the island, the memories crept in uninvited. Their relationship had ended just weeks ago, though the cracks had been there for far longer. She had been kind, understanding, and steadfast—everything Steve thought he should want. But every time he looked at her, a small, nagging voice whispered the truth he didn’t want to face.

She was Peggy’s niece.

No matter how much he tried to compartmentalize it, the connection was impossible to ignore. Every time Sharon smiled, there was a flicker of something familiar—her determination, her poise, even the way she carried herself. It wasn’t fair to either of them, but Steve couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d been chasing a shadow of the past. Sharon deserved more than that, and so did he.

When they’d finally called it quits, Sharon had been the one to speak the words he couldn’t bring himself to say.

“You’re still carrying her with you, Steve,” she’d said, her voice calm but heavy with resignation. “And maybe you always will. But I can’t be her for you. I don’t want to be.”

The guilt had followed him ever since. Sharon had been right. For all the years that had passed, Peggy still lingered in the corners of his mind—her voice, her laugh, the way she’d believed in him when no one else did. He hadn’t just been grieving Sharon’s absence; he was grieving Peggy all over again.

By the third day, Steve found himself wandering into a bustling part of Bridgetown, hoping the sights and sounds of the island might distract him. The streets were alive with energy—locals bartering at colorful market stalls, tourists snapping photos of historic buildings, and the rhythmic beat of soca music weaving through it all.

“Yuh lookin’ lost, boss,” a young man called out from behind a coconut cart. He was grinning, a machete in hand as he expertly cracked open a coconut.

Steve glanced back at him. “Just exploring.” 

“Ah, well, yuh gotta try dis,” the man said, handing him a freshly cut coconut. “Yuh look like yuh could use a lil’ taste of Bajan life. Fresh coconut water! Or yuh scared of a lil’ machete work?”

Steve smirked politely but didn’t respond, unsure if he was being teased or seriously invited. Before he could decide, you appeared, carrying a basket of fruits and shaking your head with a laugh.

“Jamal, stop tormenting de tourists!” you scolded lightheartedly. “Poor man just tryna enjoy ‘e day without you harassing him.”

Jamal shrugged with a grin, chopping open another coconut. “Ah, just showin’ him how we do it here, yuh know? He look like he need it.”

You turned to Steve, flashing a warm smile. “Ignore him, he does this to everyone. But,” you added, your tone playful, “he’s not wrong. Coconut water will fix whatever ails you. You should try one.”

Steve chuckled, the tension in his shoulders easing. “If you say so,” he said, stepping closer.

You nodded approvingly as Jamal handed him the coconut. “See? That wasn’t so hard,” you teased.

Taking a sip, Steve found the cool water surprisingly refreshing. “This is good,” he admitted, glancing at you.

“Good?” you repeated with mock offense. “It’s de best on de island. You’ve got a lot to learn.”

Steve smiled, feeling more at ease than he had in days. “Guess I’ll need a guide, then,” he said, the words slipping out before he could overthink them.

You tilted your head, amusement sparkling in your eyes. “Lucky for you, I know everyone ‘round here. Stick with me, Captain America, and I’ll show you the real Barbados.”

He blinked, surprised you knew who he was.

“Relax,” you said with a wink. “We don’t make a big deal of celebrities' ‘round here. Besides, the way I see it, everybody needs a break—even heroes.”

He guessed he really did well in choosing his destination. 

Steve walked beside you through the busy streets, his coconut still in hand. The initial awkwardness of being recognized faded quickly as you carried the conversation effortlessly, your teasing making him smile more than he had in weeks.

“So, Captain America,” you said, throwing a glance over your shoulder with a grin. “What’s a hero like you doin’ walking ‘round alone in Barbados? Not enough trouble to save us from?”

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “Actually, I’m here because I was told to take a break. Guess I've been working a little too hard lately.”

“Working too hard? You? Never would’ve guessed,” you teased, your tone playful.

Steve shook his head, grinning. “What about you? You seem to know everyone here.”

“I do. Born and raised. And the people here? They’re my family—even Jamal, with his coconut antics,” you said with a laugh. “You stick wit’ me, and I’ll teach you all de secrets of the island.”

“Secrets, huh?” Steve said, his tone tinged with curiosity. “What kind of secrets?”

You stopped suddenly and gestured toward a small, colorful shack by the road. “For starters, the best fish cutters on the island are right here. Come, you can’t visit Barbados and not try one.”

Steve followed you to the shack, where an older man greeted you like an old friend. As you chatted easily with him, ordering food, Steve found himself watching you with a kind of quiet admiration. You were easygoing, quick to laugh, and had a warmth about you that was magnetic.

When the fish cutters arrived, you handed one to Steve. “Here. And don’t even think of saying it’s just ‘good.’ Dis is heaven in bread.”

He took a bite, his eyes widening. “Wow. Okay, you’re right—this is incredible.”

You smirked. “Told you. The locals always know best.”

As the two of you walked along the beach, the conversation grew more personal. You asked about his life back home, and he answered honestly, even about the heartbreak he was still trying to shake.

“So, this Sharon,” you said carefully, “she’s Peggy’s niece?”

Steve nodded, looking sheepish. “Yeah. It’s… complicated.”

“You think?” you teased gently, bumping your shoulder against his. “Sounds messy. But you know what? Sometimes you just need to let go of what’s complicated and hold on to what’s simple.”

“And what’s simple?” Steve asked, curious.

You stopped walking and turned to face him, your expression soft but playful. “This,” you said, gesturing to the ocean. “Good food, good company, and a little bit of adventure.” He smiled, the sincerity in your voice hitting him in a way he didn’t expect. “I think I’m starting to see your point.”

⠀⠀

Over the next few days, you made good on your promise to show Steve the best of Barbados. True to your word, you showed Steve places that weren’t in any guidebook, sharing bits of history and culture along the way.

“This,” you said one morning, gesturing to a vibrant, bustling market, “is where you get the freshest fruit on the island. And where you learn to bargain.”

Steve watched in awe as you haggled with a vendor, the two of you laughing and bantering in a mix of Bajan dialect and English. When you returned with a bag of mangos and papayas, he raised a brow.

“You just got all that for half the price,” he said.

“Yup,” you said with a grin, popping a slice of mango into your mouth. “You're lucky you've got me, Captain. Otherwise, they’d have charged you double for being a tourist.”

“Good thing I’ve got you,” he said, his tone warm.

Later, you took him to a rum distillery, where you explained the process of making Barbados’ world-famous rum, teasing him as he tried a sample and coughed slightly at the burn.

“That strong for you, Cap?”

“Not strong enough to knock me out,” he replied, his voice laced with humor.

You then took him to the lively Oistins Fish Fry, where he tried grilled marlin and danced awkwardly but earnestly to soca music. You dragged him to Harrison’s Cave, laughing as he marveled at the limestone formations.

“You look like a kid seeing snow for de first time,” you teased.

“I’ve been frozen in snow for seventy years,” he replied, deadpan.

You burst out laughing, and even he cracked a smile at his own joke.

One afternoon, you led him on a hike up to Cherry Tree Hill, where the view of the rolling hills and turquoise ocean was breathtaking. As you stood beside him, the wind tugging at your dress, you glanced at him with a smile.

“You're not bad company, you know,” you said.

“Neither are you,” he replied, the corner of his mouth lifting in that signature half-smile.

“You keep looking at me like that, and I might think you’re sweet on me, Captain.”

Steve’s cheeks flushed faintly, but he held your gaze. “And what if I am?”

Your eyebrows shot up, surprised but delighted. “Well, then,” you said, stepping closer, “I hope you know you’re in for one hell of a ride.”

As the two of you strolled along a quieter path near the beach, the sunlight danced through the palm trees, and Steve couldn’t help but feel a sense of calm he hadn’t experienced in months. He looked over at you, smiling at how animatedly you were explaining the significance of the bright kites dotting the sky—something about “kite season” and friendly neighborhood competitions.

“You know,” Steve said after a moment, “your accent isn’t quite like everyone else’s around here. It’s still got that lilt, but… it’s different.”

You glanced at him, a little surprised. “You noticed that, huh?”

He nodded. “I guess I’ve got an ear for detail. What’s the story there?”

You smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. “Well, I went abroad for a few years—took my undergrad in the U.S. and just came back home recently.”

“Really?” Steve asked, intrigued. “What’d you study?”

As you walked beside Steve, your voice became more animated as you shared the kind of work you had done during your studies. “Well, when I was in the States for my undergrad, I did my thesis on cultural practices, specifically exploring the dynamics between traditional marriage structures and modern society.”

Steve raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Really? That sounds… complex. What kind of structures?”

“Yuh know, I looked into things like arranged marriages and how they vary across different cultures,” you explained, eyes sparkling with passion. “One part of my research focused on Islamic marriage traditions, particularly around the roles of brides and how modern perspectives are influencing those practices. It wasn’t about judging or anything, just trying to understand how people make it work, despite some of the harsh stereotypes.”

“Wow,” Steve said thoughtfully, clearly impressed. “Sounds like you dove deep into it. You didn’t go for the easy topics, huh?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “No, not really. I wanted to tackle something meaningful. And, for me, it was important to explore how even with things like hijabs or polygamy, those traditions have layers, especially when it comes to women’s agency. It’s all about perspective.”

Steve nodded, clearly fascinated by your work. “It’s amazing how much you can learn when you dig into a topic. I guess that’s why you came back here, huh? To work on making a difference in your community.”

You smiled softly, thinking back on your time abroad. “Yeah. I learned a lot, but I always knew I’d come home. There’s so much to do here, and I want to make sure we’re not losing our identity as we modernize. Barbados is home, and I want to help make sure it stays that way.”

You laughed at the thought, shrugging. “Guess it’s de island girl in me. This place is part of who I am. But,” you added with a sheepish grin, “spendin’ so much time abroad, I guess I picked up a bit of de American accent. It slips in sometimes when I talk.”

“I think it’s kind of charming,” Steve said, surprising even himself with the comment.

You raised a brow at him, a slow smile spreading across your lips. “Careful, Captain, or I might think you’re tryin’ to sweet-talk me.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish but amused. “Maybe I am.”

Your laugh rang out, light and melodic. “Well, you’re not too bad at it.”

At one point, while they were sitting on a beachside bench, a gentle breeze tugging at their clothes, Steve caught her eye, and she smiled. That smile. He swore it was the brightest thing in the world, even more stunning than the sun hanging low in the sky behind her.

The conversation continued, with Steve steering it back toward you. He asked about your time abroad, what it was like living away from home, and what made you choose environmental science in the first place.

“And what about you?” you countered, tilting your head as you studied him. “You’ve been saving the world for what��over a century now?”

He chuckled. “Not quite that long, but close.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’re slowin’ down anytime soon,” you said, your voice softer now. “But, Steve… don’t you ever just want to stop for a bit? Live a little for yourself?”

Your question caught him off guard. For a moment, he was quiet, the only sounds around you were the gentle crash of waves and the rustle of the wind in the trees.

“I guess I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted.

As you sat on the beach watching the sun dip below the horizon, you turned to Steve with a mischievous glint in your eye.

“So,” you began, “how do you feel about weddings?”

He looked at you warily. “Weddings?”

“Yeah. My… um, distant relative—you probably need a map to figure out how we’re related—is getting married this weekend. It’s a small thing,” you said, “But it’s a family event. You know how it is—everyone wants to show up and make it ‘extra’ for the aunties.”

Steve chuckled. “I’m guessing it’s not going to be your average wedding then?”

“Oh, no,” you grinned, “Think small chapel, a few too many drinks, maybe a bit of dancing, and a lot of awkward family members trying to act like they haven’t been feuding for the past ten years. But, you know, in the best way possible.”

Steve found himself laughing along with you, the ease between you two growing stronger by the minute.

“Actually,” you said with a mischievous grin, “It’s going to be kind of hilarious. I was thinking…” You paused, glancing over at him. “You wanna come with me? As my… plus one?”

Steve blinked in surprise, but there was something about the way you said it, as if you didn’t mind the idea of being together at such a personal family event. “I mean, are you sure? I’m probably not what your family had in mind when they thought ‘plus one,’” he joked, a smile tugging at his lips.

You shrugged, the motion casual, but your gaze was intense. “Honestly, I don’t think anyone really knows what they’re getting when they invite me. And trust me, you’ll be far more interesting than the rest of my relatives.” You glanced at him sideways with a grin. “Besides, maybe they’ll like you more than me.”

“Are you trying to get me to go to your wedding as an act of charity?” he teased.

You laughed. “No, I’m offering you a chance to be part of something completely ridiculous, and trust me, you’ll be talking about it for years.”

“Well, in that case,” Steve said, pretending to think it over, “I guess I’ll be there. But you’ve got to warn me beforehand if there’s any kind of dancing involved. I’m not exactly a pro.”

Your grin widened. “Deal.”

⠀⠀

You had parted your ways when it was well into the night, and soon enough, Steve found himself back in his quaint hotel room, listening to the peaceful waves of the ocean. He laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, his mind drifting back to the hours he’d spent with you earlier.

He couldn’t help but replay the way you looked again and again in his mind. The first thing that struck him was how effortlessly beautiful you were. Your skin had looked golden when it caught the sunlight, in a way that made everything around you seem brighter, like you were glowing from within. Your hair had framed your face in soft waves, a contrast to your sun-kissed skin that made you seem like you belonged to the island itself. It hadn’t just been the way you looked, though; it had been the way you carried yourself. You had moved with such ease, like you were perfectly in tune with the world around you, as though every step was measured but never forced.

Your eyes—those eyes—were a shade that had seemed almost impossible, warm and deep, with a spark that made it clear you were fully present, fully alive in every conversation. When you spoke, it had been with an accent that was distinctly Barbadian, but there was a softness to it, a hint of something else—like you’d been somewhere far from home and had returned with more layers than when you left. Your smile had been what had undone him, though. It hadn’t just been the way it lit up your face, but the way it had made him feel like he was the only one in the world you were focusing on, even if it had been just for a moment.

And it hadn’t just been your looks—Steve knew he hadn’t felt this way about someone in years, the way his heart had seemed to skip when you caught his gaze, the way the mere thought of you had made him feel like a teenager again, nervous and unsure but eager all the same. The more he thought about you, the more the feeling had intensified, like a slow burn in his chest. He had tried to push it down, telling himself it had just been the heat, just the newness of it all, but deep down, he had known it wasn’t that simple. He had found something in you, something that had made the weight of everything else just… fade away.

The way you had laughed, your smile so effortless, like you were a living embodiment of the sun that bathed the island in warmth. There had been something about you that had made his chest tighten—something magnetic, yet disarmingly genuine. He had expected a brief distraction on this trip, maybe a drink with a stranger. Instead, you had effortlessly captivated him. Your energy had been infectious, and even in the quiet moments, you had a way of drawing him in. The little quirks of your accent, the way you’d pause mid-sentence to correct yourself, as if speaking a second language you hadn’t used in too long—there had been a vulnerability in it that had made you all the more endearing.

And then there had been the tattoo. That damn tattoo. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He had barely even paid attention to it at first, but after spending hours with you, it had stood out more, like a proud branding. A temporary tattoo you had convinced him to get while you were strolling around. It had been a simple design, a swirling wave pattern across his left hand, something that had matched the feeling of freedom he’d had with you that day. He had looked down at his hand now, the ink still vivid, but with a hint of purple-ish blue where it was starting to fade. You had laughed when he’d rolled up his sleeve to show you, clearly impressed by how well it had suited him. He had never thought he’d have fun getting a tattoo, temporary or not, but the experience had been entirely different with you. Everything had felt light, effortless, fun.

As his mind had wandered further, Steve had found himself imagining something he hadn’t thought about in a long time: the future. The thought of you in a wedding gown, walking down the aisle toward him, had made his heart race. He couldn’t help but picture it, absurdly vivid—you, laughing under the lights, your eyes sparkling as you smiled at him in that way only you could. He’d be there, in a tux, grinning like a fool, probably fumbling over his vows. He could almost hear the judge’s voice, telling them to kiss, and there you’d be—his wife, laughing with him as you made it official in a courthouse with nothing but your hearts and a rush of love propelling you forward. The thought had made him shake his head in surprise, crimson adorning his cheeks. It had been ridiculous, yet it had felt so very real. He had been falling for you in ways he never thought possible.

He had tried to focus on other things—his next move, the mission he had just completed—but as much as he had tried, the tattoo had kept pulling his attention back to you. It hadn’t just been the design; it had been the way it had been something shared between you. A small, playful gesture, but one that had made the whole day feel… connected. He had smiled to himself, the thought of you making his heart race again. He had shifted uncomfortably under the covers, trying to shake off the sudden rush of warmth that had pooled in his stomach.

But as much as he had tried to focus on other things, your laugh had kept echoing in his mind, and the image of you running after his vehicle earlier that day had kept replaying, like something out of a dream he didn’t want to wake from. It had been a feeling he hadn’t realized he’d missed—the easy excitement of getting to know someone new. He had rolled over onto his side, trying to get some rest, but his mind wouldn’t quiet. No, he had thought to himself, he wasn’t about to start feeling this way about you. Not now, not when he had so much left unsaid, so many wounds still open. But as sleep had slowly begun to pull him under, that feeling—warm and electric—had lingered in the back of his mind, making it hard to ignore the undeniable pull he had felt toward you.

⠀⠀

The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, casting a golden hue over the streets as Steve revved the engine of the bright red 5.0 Mustang he’d rented for his trip. He’d opted for the car, not just for the joy of driving it, but because he thought it might impress you. Plus, he couldn’t deny that he wanted to show off a little, especially when he’d be picking you up from university. He’d learned from your conversations how much effort you’d put into your education and your dedication to your work, and he was eager to see where you spent your days.

He parked the Mustang in front of the university building, its polished surface gleaming under the late afternoon sun. His eyes scanned the steps, waiting for you to appear. He’d offered to take you to the wedding, knowing how much it meant to you. He’d also taken the time to ensure he had the right attire, knowing it would be expected of him. He wanted to be the gentleman. But it wasn’t just about impressing your family; it was about showing you that he respected you, that he was willing to step into your world, no matter how different it might be from his.

Soon, you appeared on the steps, a bundle of papers clutched in your hand—ones you needed to submit for your master’s application—as you hurried down toward him. You wore a light sundress that floated around your figure as you walked toward him, and Steve couldn’t help but notice the way the late afternoon sun made you glow. As you approached the car, you glanced at him with a playful grin, your eyes lighting up when you saw the Mustang.

“You sure know how to make an entrance, huh?” you teased, your voice laced with amusement as you slid into the passenger seat.

Steve chuckled, feeling a slight rush of pride. “Figured I’d try to keep up with you,” he said, glancing at you as he started the engine. “Ready for this?”

You nodded, still smiling. “I’ve never been more ready. Just a heads-up, though—my parents might give you the look. You know, the ‘who is this American?’ look.” You winked, but there was an apprehension in your gaze that made Steve feel like maybe you weren’t entirely at ease either.

“Yeah, I’m used to ‘the look.’” He grinned, determined to be charming despite the tension in the air. After all, he wanted to make you feel at ease.

As the two of you drove toward the wedding venue, Steve kept the conversation light, asking about your studies, your thoughts on the wedding, and what your family was like. You talked about your work with passion, but he couldn’t help but notice the slight apprehension in your tone when you mentioned your parents.

When you arrived, Steve was introduced to your family, his hand shaking politely as he greeted your parents with a well-practiced smile. They weren’t unfriendly, but there was a certain coldness to their demeanor, like they were sizing him up, unsure of what to make of him. Steve, ever the gentleman, took it in stride, asking questions and trying his best to blend in. But as the evening wore on, it became clear that you were not quite as comfortable as you let on.

You were whisked away by your family to change into something more formal, leaving Steve to fend for himself in a crowd of unfamiliar faces. He quietly took a seat, his eyes scanning the room for any sign of you.

As the evening wore on, one of your relatives gently but firmly ushered Steve away from the crowd, leading him to a room at the back of the venue where an array of Barjan formal attire awaited him. The family had been insistent on ensuring he was properly dressed for the occasion, a tradition that Steve hadn’t anticipated.

“I guess I’ll have to dress the part,” Steve muttered to himself, his voice carrying a hint of amusement as the servant handed him a traditional Barjan tuxedo. It wasn’t quite what he’d expected, but he knew better than to argue—you had asked for him to be taken care of, and he wanted to honor that.

The outfit was stunning: a sharply tailored jacket with intricate gold embroidery at the collar and cuffs, paired with sleek trousers that tapered perfectly at the ankle. The fabric was a rich, deep shade of midnight blue that shimmered under the light, and the shirt underneath was a crisp white with a soft sheen. He looked at himself in the mirror, admiring the polished shoes and the way the suit fit him perfectly, as though he’d been born to wear it.

Once dressed, Steve rejoined the others in the main hall, where he was greeted by your family, all clad in their formal Barjan attire. The women wore elegant, flowing gowns with intricate beadwork and colorful patterns that reflected the island’s natural beauty. The men wore similarly rich outfits, with patterned vests and gold-accented details that gave them an air of authority and elegance. Steve felt like he’d been transported to another world, one full of tradition, culture, and beauty.

Then, finally, you entered, and Steve’s breath caught in his throat. You looked radiant. Your dress was everything he’d imagined and more: a delicate, embroidered gown with a soft blush hue, its flowing fabric catching the light with every step. The intricate patterns on your dress mirrored the ones in your family’s attire, as though you were all part of one elaborate, elegant tapestry. Your hair was let loose in its natural soft waves, and the sparkle in your eyes made you seem even more ethereal.

You smiled when you saw him, and Steve felt his chest tighten with something he couldn’t quite put into words. “You look… incredible,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your grin widened at the compliment, your eyes twinkling. “Thank you,” you replied, your tone light but warm. 

They shared a quiet moment, their connection palpable. The formal attire, the elegance of the night—it all felt surreal, yet right at the same time.

You shared a quiet moment, the connection between you palpable. The formal attire, the elegance of the night—it all felt surreal, yet right at the same time.

Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off you as the wedding celebration rolled on. You were radiant, your smile lighting up the room, but it wasn’t just your looks that had him captivated. It was the way you carried yourself, effortlessly blending into the crowd while still standing out. He wasn’t used to feeling this way—not amid all the military stuff he had been through, not after everything he’d seen. But with you, it was different.

As you stood by the drinks table, Steve couldn’t resist a smile. “You clean up pretty well,” he said, the words coming out more smoothly than he intended, but it was true. You looked stunning in that dress, your laughter echoing in his chest like a warm melody.

You looked over at him with teasing eyes. “For a guy who usually wears a uniform, you look pretty good in that suit yourself.”

“Well, I’m trying to keep up with you,” he replied, giving you a half-smirk. “You know, trying to make a good impression.”

You leaned closer, your voice dropping just slightly, playful but with that edge of seriousness Steve had come to recognize. “You don’t need to try so hard,” you said, your words almost sounding like a challenge. “You’ve already impressed me.”

Steve’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know what it was about you that got under his skin like this, but the way you made him feel was disorienting, like the ground wasn’t quite steady beneath him. It had been a long time since he’d felt this much—anything, really.

“So,” he said, trying to keep his composure, “what’s next? You’ve already got my attention, and I’m starting to think that’s the only thing I’m focused on tonight.”

Your lips curved into a smile, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Well, I guess maybe you should focus on me a little more,” you hinted, but there was something deeper in your voice, a subtle invitation that made Steve want to step closer. “After all, there’s still plenty of weddings left, Captain.”

Steve blinked at the title, his face softening into a grin. “I’m not used to being called that at a party,” he joked, though his mind was already on the edge, keeping himself from crossing the line. He wasn’t used to this kind of playful banter. In the military, things were direct, and to the point. But with you, it was different. You made him feel… lighter. He’d never thought he’d feel this way, especially not in the middle of something so unfamiliar, like a wedding halfway around the world.

He leaned in slightly, just enough to get your attention. “But I’ll insist, you’ve got me distracted, more than I thought possible.”

You laughed softly, as though you were enjoying the chase, but you stayed close enough that their words felt like a secret between the two of them. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” you replied, your voice carrying the slightest hint of playfulness. “Though, maybe I should keep you on your toes a little longer. Can’t make it too easy for you, Captain.”

Before Steve could respond, your parents arrived, their presence immediately cooling the warm atmosphere between them. The formalities kicked back in, and Steve felt a slight shift in your demeanor. You seemed to retreat into yourself a bit, your expression faltering. Steve’s protective instincts flared, but he knew better than to interrupt family matters.

You tried to give him a reassuring smile as you spoke, but it wasn’t enough. Your parents were speaking to you in hushed tones, their words sharp, but Steve managed to catch bits and pieces with his super-soldier hearing. “You’ll marry him soon. It’s already arranged,” your mother’s voice was firm, but there was an undeniable sense of finality in it.

Your expression darkened as you listened, your hands gripping the fabric of your dress as if trying to hold yourself together. Steve’s heart ached for you. He didn’t know what was entirely being said, but he could see the pain in you eyes. He wasn’t about to let this go unnoticed, not when it was clear you needed support.

Without a second thought, he moved toward you, gently pushing through the crowd to reach your side. As soon as you saw him, you turned away from your parents, your face clearly harboring a mix of frustration and sadness.

“[Y/N]?” Steve called out softly, his voice full of concern as he reached out to you.

You didn’t answer immediately. Instead, you hurried toward the back of the venue, away from the eyes of your family, with Steve following close behind.

“Hey, hey,” he said, catching up with you and gently taking your arm. “What’s going on?”

You looked at him, your eyes wide with emotion. “They… they’ve already arranged my marriage, Steve,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “To someone I don’t even know.”

⠀⠀

The drive back to the beach was quiet. The low rumble of the engine was the only sound between you as Steve kept his eyes on the road, his knuckles white against the steering wheel. The Mustang purred beneath you, but it felt hollow in the silence that stretched out like the ocean you were heading toward. Steve was trying to give you space, but the tension between you was palpable. He knew you were struggling, knew that what had happened at the wedding had cracked something wide open. The weight of it all hung heavily in the air, thick and suffocating.

The soft hum of the ocean was the only sound that accompanied you as you walked along the shore. The sand beneath your feet was cool from the night air, and the sky was dotted with stars, but the world felt heavy around you. You stayed quiet, your steps slow, your mind racing with the events that had just unfolded. Steve kept a careful distance, giving you space, but his mind was working overtime—trying to make sense of everything that had happened.

You reached the spot where you had stood together the day before, where the horizon stretched out before you, untouched and endless. The contrast between that peaceful moment and this was sharp. He could still see the laughter in your eyes, the carefree joy you had shared—but now, your face was clouded with doubt and fear.

Steve paused for a moment, looking at you as you stared out into the dark expanse of the ocean. He wanted to fix this, to do something, anything, to take away the pain that had suddenly overwhelmed you, but he knew this was something only you could express. He was here to listen, to be present, and that was what mattered right now.

You broke the silence, your voice barely audible over the crashing waves. “I thought I had more time, Steve. I thought I had figured things out. I worked so hard for this freedom.” Your voice cracked as you looked at him, tears welling in your eyes. “I thought that if I could prove myself, if I could show them that I could make something of my life… they’d let me go. But now, they’ve taken everything. They hid my passport. They took my money. And now, I have nothing.”

The raw vulnerability in your voice hit him harder than he expected. He stepped closer, his hand reaching out instinctively, resting on your shoulder. You flinched at the touch but didn’t pull away. You needed comfort—he could feel it, even if you weren’t sure you wanted to accept it.

“[Y/N]…” he whispered, his voice full of empathy. He didn’t know what to say, not really. What could he say to make this better? But you kept going, your words tumbling out like a dam had broken.

“I came back thinking everything would be different,” you continued, your eyes shining with unshed tears. “I thought if I came back successful, I could change their minds. But they’ve already planned everything. They’ve arranged my marriage to someone I’ve never met… and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Steve’s heart sank as he heard the desperation in your voice. He wanted to scream, wanted to fight, to tell you that you didn’t deserve this, that you didn’t have to go through this alone. But instead, he just wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest, offering you the one thing he could give—comfort.

“You’re not alone, sweetheart,” he said quietly, his voice soft but firm. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

You pressed your face against his chest, your tears soaking through his shirt. “You don’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like… to be trapped like this, with no way out. I can’t even run anymore.”

Steve tightened his hold on you, feeling the weight of your pain in his bones. He had faced his fair share of burdens, of being trapped by duty, but this—this was different. You weren’t bound by a war or a mission. You were bound by a life you hadn’t chosen, a future your parents had decided for you.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” he said again, his voice hoarse. “We’ll figure this out. I don’t know how, but I’m not going to let them take you from your life.”

You pulled back slightly, your face streaked with tears, your breath ragged. Your eyes searched his, looking for any sign that he truly meant it. That he wasn’t just saying what he thought you wanted to hear.

“I don’t even know how to fight this anymore,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “They have everything… They control everything. And I just wanted to live my life. I just wanted a chance to choose.”

Steve cupped your face gently in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. “And you will. We’ll find a way. You’re not stuck. I promise you that.”

The tension between you was thick, raw, and emotional. It wasn’t just about the fight against your parents. It was about everything that had been left unsaid, everything that had been building between you. The air between you crackled with unspoken words, a connection that had been forged over the past couple of days but hadn’t fully been explored until now.

“I can’t let you go through this alone,” Steve said, his voice low and steady. “Not now. Not ever.”

You searched his eyes, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke. There was a tension in the air—an unspoken connection that hung between you like a spark, waiting for someone to ignite it. Steve wasn’t sure who moved first, but before he could think twice, you closed the distance, your lips meeting his in a kiss that was both tender and urgent. The world seemed to fall away in that instant, leaving just the two of you in the quiet of the night, where nothing else mattered.

When you finally pulled apart, your breaths shallow, you looked at him, your eyes searching his face. “I never wanted to drag you into this, Steve,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m scared.”

Steve cupped your face gently, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheek. “You’re not dragging me into anything, [Y/N]. I want to be here. With you.” His voice was steady, but the emotion behind it was raw and real. “Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. Together.”

You nodded, your lips trembling as you tried to hold back more tears. “But it’s too much. This wedding, this whole thing… it was supposed to be my escape, and now it feels like my worst nightmare.”

Steve leaned his forehead against yours, the cool air of the night brushing against you. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to steady the turmoil inside of him. “Look, maybe this doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “But you’ve got me, sweetheart. You don’t have to pretend like it doesn’t matter to me. It means something. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Your eyes softened at his words, and despite the storm of emotions, you found comfort in his touch, in the sincerity in his eyes. The tension between you was palpable, but in that moment, it wasn’t just about what you had, or the mess of your circumstances. It was about a promise—unspoken but understood—that you would face this together, no matter what it took.

“I can’t promise things will be easy,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. ��But… maybe if you stay, if we try, we could figure this out. Together.”

Steve kissed your forehead softly, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. “We’ll figure it out,” he promised. “You’re not alone in this. Not anymore.”

And as you stood there, under the stars, in a moment that felt timeless, Steve knew one thing for sure—whatever came next, he wasn’t going to let you face it without him.

⠀⠀

The air in Steve’s hotel room hit you differently now—quieter, heavier. The events of the day loomed between you both: the wedding and the weight of your revelation. After the drive back to the beach, you couldn’t bring yourself to return home, unwilling to face the reality waiting for you there. Steve had insisted you stay with him for the night—he couldn’t bear the thought of you facing it all alone, especially not now. He didn’t have all the answers, but he knew he couldn’t just do nothing.

Sitting at the edge of the bed, Steve rubbed a hand over his face, the lines of his brow furrowed with thought. His mind raced, trying to conjure solutions, ways to help you. He wanted to be your knight in shining armor, but he knew this wasn’t something he could fix with a few comforting words. You were trapped—your passport, your freedom, your entire future—locked away by the very people meant to love and protect you.

“[Y/N], I…” He faltered, his voice low and uncertain. “I’ll figure something out.”

You sat curled up in the armchair by the window, your gaze fixed on the city lights outside, your expression distant and unreadable. For a long time, you didn’t respond. You didn’t need to. Your silence spoke volumes—he could see the pain etched across your face, the hopelessness lingering in your eyes. It wasn’t just exhaustion; it was the crushing realization that this wasn’t merely a fight for freedom. It was a battle for your entire life.

Steve’s eyes lit with sudden resolve, and he turned to face you, an idea solidifying in his mind. “What if I could help you get out of here?” he asked, his voice urgent but careful.

Your gaze shifted to him, and though curiosity flickered across your face, the sadness in your eyes didn’t waver. “What do you mean?”

He ran a hand through his hair, searching for the words. “I can pull some strings. There are people—resources—that could help you. Maybe we can figure out a way to get your passport or get you somewhere safe. You don’t have to stay here. You don’t have to stay trapped.”

You shook your head, the weight of it all settling over you again. “They’ll come for me, Steve. My family…” You trailed off, biting your lip, your voice tinged with despair. “I don’t think I can escape them.”

Steve moved closer, his eyes locking onto yours with unwavering determination. “You’re not going through this alone,” he said firmly. “You have more options than you think.”

He hesitated for a moment, glancing at the table where a stack of papers sat, before another idea struck him. “The Mustang,” he said suddenly. “I rented it for this trip, but… I can buy it outright. Sell it after. Use the money to help you get started, to give you a chance until we figure out the rest.”

Your eyes widened as you sat up straighter, shaking your head in protest. “I can’t accept that, Steve. It’s too much. It’s your car. It’s… expensive.”

“It’s just a car,” he said, cutting you off before you could finish. His voice softened as his gaze bore into yours, filled with something raw and unguarded. “You mean so much more to me than a car, sweetheart.”

The words caught in the air between you, and his chest tightened at his own vulnerability. You stared back at him, your expression wavering between gratitude and heartbreak. “I don’t think I can go back to my family,” you whispered. “I don’t think I can survive that again.”

A fierce protectiveness surged through Steve as he stepped closer to you. His hand hovered just above your shoulder before finally resting there gently. “I won’t let them take you,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “I swear.”

You lowered your gaze for a moment, overwhelmed, before meeting his eyes once more. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you said softly.

Without hesitation, Steve reached out, his hands cupping your face with a tenderness that made your breath hitch. He tilted your head up, your eyes locking with his. And in that suspended moment, he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.

The kiss started soft, tentative—a quiet promise in the midst of the chaos surrounding you both. But as it deepened, it carried with it the weight of everything unsaid: the fear, the hope, the connection you had both been too scared to acknowledge until now.

When you finally pulled back, Steve reached into his pocket, his expression momentarily distant. His fingers brushed against the smooth surface of the simple ring he’d carried for years. It had once been meant for Peggy—a relic of a life that never came to be. He had held onto it as a reminder of the past, but now, as he looked at you, he realized something.

Maybe it was time to let go. To stop clinging to a ghost and make space for something new, something real.

You looked up at him, your lips trembling with the beginnings of a smile—a real one, the first he’d seen from you since the day began. “Thank you,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what’s coming next, but… I trust you.”

Steve nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips as he sat beside you on the bed. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, holding you close as the city lights shimmered in the distance. For a moment, the world outside didn’t matter. The only thing that did was the quiet understanding between you—an unspoken promise to face whatever came next together.

⠀⠀

The following morning, you awoke to the soft sound of ocean waves crashing against the shore. The room was dim, the early light creeping in through the windows. Steve lay beside you, turning his head to look at you still asleep, curled up next to him. Your breathing was steady, peaceful—a stark contrast to the chaos of the night before.

Today was his last day in Barbados.

You hadn’t solved everything, not yet, but you had taken the first step. You had found each other in a moment of vulnerability, and for once, the world outside felt a little less pressing. He smiled softly as he brushed a few strands of hair from your face, his fingers lingering on your skin.

As he watched you, his thoughts turned to Peggy—her memory, her spirit—but now it felt like a distant ache, not a tether keeping him bound to the past. Peggy had been a part of his journey, but he had learned it was okay to move on, to let go. The future, whatever it held, didn’t need to be defined by what was lost. It could be shaped by what was right in front of him—you, a new beginning, a chance to build something of your own.

You stirred and slowly opened your eyes, meeting his gaze. A soft smile appeared on your lips as you stretched, still half-asleep.

“Morning,” you whispered, your voice thick with the remnants of sleep.

“Morning,” he replied, his heart light despite everything you both still had to face. “How are you feeling?”

Your eyes searched his for a moment, as if weighing the sincerity in his words. You glanced down, lost in thought, before meeting his gaze again. “I’m… okay,” you said quietly. “It’s a long road ahead, Steve. But I don’t feel so lost anymore.”

He nodded, his hand gently caressing your arm. “We’ll take it one step at a time. I’ll help you with whatever comes next. We’ll figure it out together.”

Your eyes softened, and you gave a small nod. You weren’t fully healed, and there was still a long way to go, but there was hope now. And that was enough.

The sun had fully risen by the time you and Steve were ready to face the world again. After the heartfelt conversation the night before, it felt like progress had been made, but the morning light brought a sobering clarity.

Steve stood at the window of the hotel room, staring out at the endless horizon, the weight of his duty pressing down on him. He had known this moment would come. He had always known that being with you was fleeting—a brief escape from the responsibilities he could never quite shake off. There was a sense of urgency in his chest, a reminder of the mission waiting for him, the world that still needed saving.

You had showered and dressed in silence, your face still pale from the weight of everything you’d gone through. You moved quietly around the room, packing your things as if trying to avoid the inevitable. You hadn’t said it, but Steve could feel your resistance. The distance between you had already started to stretch.

He turned away from the window as you sat on the edge of the bed, looking small in the oversized hotel robe. You weren’t meeting his gaze, and he couldn’t blame you. You had put everything on the line to be with him, only to have to face the reality that a future together wasn’t possible—not now, at least.

“I’ve been thinking,” Steve began, his voice steady but tinged with regret. “I might be able to help you get out of here, help you get your life back. Maybe through SHIELD… I’ll make sure you’re safe, that you have a way out of this. I’ll talk to the director.”

You didn’t respond immediately. You just stared at your hands in your lap, your fingers trembling ever so slightly.

“I don’t want you to do this for me, Steve,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. “You have a life… your duty. You don’t have to fix this for me. I’ll find a way out, one way or another. I’ve been running from this for years. I can handle it.”

Steve clenched his jaw, fighting the frustration bubbling up. “You shouldn’t have to,” he said quietly, walking over to where you sat. He crouched in front of you, his hands resting gently on your knees. “You deserve better than this. You deserve more than a life of being pushed around by other people’s choices.”

Your eyes finally met his, and for a moment, you just looked at each other, the weight of the world between you. “I thought… I thought I could have a different life,” you said softly, your voice breaking as tears filled your eyes. “But I don’t know how to get away from this. I don’t know how to get out.”

Steve took a deep breath, his heart aching for you. The situation wasn’t fair, and he couldn’t give you the kind of life you deserved. Not right now.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wedding ring. It was strange how something so tied to the past had suddenly become a symbol of hope for the future. He had carried it for too long, unsure of whether he would ever move on, but now it felt right.

He placed the ring in your hand, his fingers lingering on yours for a moment. “I can’t stay, sweetheart. You know that,” he said softly. “But this… this is for you. It meant a lot to me for a while, and now I want you to have it so you remember that you’re not alone. You’re stronger than you know, and one day, you’ll find your way out of all this. I believe that.”

You held the ring in your hand, your fingers wrapping around it as if it were the last thing tethering you to a future you weren’t sure you could have. Your tears finally spilled over, and you let out a shaky breath.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” you asked, your voice breaking.

Steve nodded, standing up and giving you one last, lingering look. “I have to. There’s a world that still needs saving, and I can’t turn my back on it. But you’ll be okay. I know you will.”

You nodded slowly, wiping your eyes as you looked at him one last time. “I’ll find a way… to make things right. I will.”

The two of you stood there in silence for a moment, the weight of what you couldn’t have settling between you. Steve reached down and gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear.

“I’ll never forget you,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “And maybe one day… if the world isn’t too broken, we’ll find a way back to each other.”

You nodded, your heart torn, but you knew the truth of his words. You were both tied to duty, to the things that had shaped your lives. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t remember the good, the fleeting moments of peace you had shared. You would always have those.

“I’ll keep this,” you whispered, holding up the ring. “It’s all I’ll have left of us.”

⠀⠀

You spent your final hours with Steve, the air between you thick with the bittersweetness of time slipping away. Neither of you wanted to waste a single moment.

The day was filled with small, meaningful acts that made it feel as though time had slowed. A quiet breakfast by the beach, just the two of you, the waves gently crashing against the shore. You walked along the sand, hand in hand, the sound of the ocean almost drowning out the rest of the world. Together, you shared memories, laughter, and stories, pretending, if only for a while, that the weight of the world wasn’t pressing down on you.

But no matter how much you tried to savor each second, reality couldn’t be ignored. Time continued to slip through your fingers.

In the afternoon, the two of you returned to the same spot where you had spent your first evening. The sunset painted the sky in vibrant shades of pink, orange, and gold. Steve leaned against a large rock, his arm wrapped around you as you rested your head on his shoulder. Both of you watched the fading light in silence—a silence that was comfortable but heavy with unspoken words.

“I wish we had more time,” you murmured, breaking the stillness. Turning your face toward him, your eyes met his, reflecting the same sorrow you knew he felt.

“I wish I could give it to you,” he replied, his voice low and steady. He reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers brushing against your skin as if memorizing the sensation, knowing it might be the last time. “But you’re strong. You’ll be okay. You’ve already come so far.”

You gave him a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “What about you, Steve? Will you be okay?”

He hesitated, his answer caught somewhere between honesty and reassurance. He couldn’t promise you he’d be okay, not with everything pulling him in so many directions. But he knew one thing for certain: this day, this moment, would stay with him forever. “I think I will,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You sat together in silence again, watching the sunset, neither of you ready to let the moment go.

As the evening deepened, you returned to the hotel together. Your movements were slower now, reluctant, each step bringing you closer to the inevitable parting. Steve could feel it too, the ache of what was to come. It hurt more than either of you had expected.

Before he left the room, you handed him something—a small, folded piece of paper. He opened it, revealing a drawing of a Mustang, your version of the car he had rented. At the bottom, you had written, “For when you’re far away.”

He looked at you, his chest tightening with emotion. The words he wanted to say caught in his throat. Instead, he stepped forward and pulled you into a tight embrace. His arms wrapped around you as if he could hold on forever. He kissed the top of your head, breathing in the scent of your hair, committing it to memory.

“You’ll always have me in your heart,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. You nodded against him, your tears threatening to fall as you held onto him, unwilling to let go.

“And you’ll always have me, Steve. No matter where you are.”

⠀⠀

Steve’s boots clicked against the cold floor of the Avengers compound as he entered, the familiar hum of the place only adds to the weight in his chest. He’d just come back from his brief time away, a time he wasn’t sure how to summarize. It had been a whirlwind, a mixture of emotions he hadn’t expected to feel so deeply. But this sudden vacation had successfully changed him.

As he stepped into the common room, he saw Tony lounging on the couch, his eyes glued to a screen. The moment Steve walked in, Tony looked up with a grin, clearly expecting the usual sarcastic quip.

“So, Cap, how was your vacation?” Tony asked, casually tossing a glance at him.

Steve set down his duffel bag and leaned against the wall, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t quite know how to explain what he’d experienced, what he’d left behind. The memories of you lingered in his mind, and they felt like a weight he wasn’t sure how to carry.

“It was… well, it really helped me, Tony,” Steve said quietly, his voice steady, though there was an undercurrent of something deeper there, something he hadn’t figured out how to unpack yet. He glanced out the window for a moment, as though the ocean and the memories of the beach could somehow soothe him. “I didn’t realize how much I needed that time until it was over.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, always quick to read between the lines. But he didn’t push; instead, he took a sip from his glass and leaned back, knowing when not to ask further questions. “Good to hear, Cap. We all need a break now and then.”

Steve nodded, though he didn’t answer immediately. His thoughts drifted back to the last day he had spent with you—how the two of you had spent hours walking along the beach, hand in hand, knowing it was the end of something beautiful but fleeting. He remembered the warmth of the sun on his face, the way your smile had both broken his heart and healed it at the same time. What hit him hardest, though, was the way you had parted. There had been no easy goodbye, no promise that somehow, someway, you would find a way to be together. Just the certainty that life, as it always did, would pull you both in different directions.

He couldn’t shake the thought of that damn Mustang. The one he had rented for you, the symbol of the escape you had needed so badly. You had drawn it for him—your version of it, something small, something tender, that he would hold onto forever. The image of your face, so full of determination and quiet sorrow, was etched in his mind, a constant reminder.

And yet, he knew he had to leave. He couldn’t stay. Duty was calling, and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t just throw everything away. You had your own future now, one you had fought so hard to build. And he had his—one that couldn’t afford distractions, no matter how deep the feelings had run.

Tony watched Steve, noticing the faraway look in his eyes. “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?” he asked casually.

Steve blinked, shaking himself from his thoughts. He hadn’t expected Tony to guess it so quickly, but then again, Tony always had a way of cutting through the bullshit. He didn’t know how to explain what had happened with you, what it had meant to each other. And he didn’t want to, not yet.

“I am,” Steve admitted softly. “But it doesn’t matter. She’s going to be okay, Tony. I made sure of it.” His voice was low, steady with conviction, but there was something else there—a tinge of regret that he couldn’t quite shake.

Tony studied him for a moment. “That’s good, Cap. But you don’t have to keep it all together all the time, you know? It’s okay to feel like you don’t have all the answers.”

Steve chuckled softly, the humor in his voice tinged with melancholy. “I’m still figuring that out.”

Steve had made sure you left before him and was taken care of before his departure. He had called in every favor, using his influence and SHIELD’s resources to ensure you could leave your old life behind and start fresh. After everything that happened, you deserved a chance at freedom. The control your parents had over your life, the arranged marriage—they had weighed so heavily on your shoulders for so long. But now, with Steve’s help, you were free.

With your new identity, a fresh passport, and a financial cushion, you had the chance to build your future on your own terms. Steve knew you had the strength to make something of yourself, but it wouldn’t be easy. He’d made sure you had the right people backing you, a network of allies who could help you navigate your new life, far from the constraints of your family’s expectations.

You were enrolling in a prestigious university overseas, something you had always dreamed of but never had the opportunity to do before. The freedom you had fought for was finally within reach. Your family would never understand, but you didn’t care anymore. You weren’t the person they had tried to mold you into. You had become your own woman.

But leaving wasn’t simple. The scars of your past, your family’s rejection, and the haunting memories of the arranged marriage still lingered. You had to rebuild yourself from the ground up, and Steve had been there for you every step of the way, even from afar, even if you didn’t directly know it. He had given up a part of himself—his heart, his peace of mind—just to make sure you were safe and had a future. He had set things in motion to ensure you had a chance to be the person you wanted to be, even if it meant not being able to stay in your life.

He had watched you go, knowing that despite everything you shared, you could never be together. You were on your own now, and Steve had to let you go. His duty, his responsibilities, and the life he led as Captain America had always come first. But that didn’t stop him from caring for you, or from wondering what might have been, if only circumstances were different.

As the plane took off, you looked out the window, leaving behind the life that had almost consumed you. Steve’s name echoed in your heart, but you knew you couldn’t look back. You had to keep moving forward. You had your own life to live now, and you would make it count. For him.

You were heading down a different path now, one of independence, of freedom. He had made sure you had the support you needed, and as much as he wished things had turned out differently, he knew he had to let you go.

⠀⠀

Later, as Steve stood in the hallway, his hand on the door to his room, he took one last deep breath. He thought of you, of the way your eyes had sparkled in the fading light of the sun, of the way your smile had broken his heart. He thought of the fading tattoo, the Mustang, and the promise of freedom you now had, and the one thing he had given you—something simple but meaningful: a wedding ring.

It wasn’t his first choice. It wasn’t even his second. It was the one he should’ve given Peggy, the one he carried with him for years as a reminder of what could have been. But now, it had found its way to you—the woman who had made him feel something more than duty, more than responsibility. He couldn’t keep carrying it, couldn’t keep living in the shadow of his past. He had to let go.

The ring was a relic. It didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that, for once, he had lived in the moment.

For Steve, it was the kind of love that burned brightly—intense, fleeting, and beautiful. Like an American wedding, it brimmed with promise, a celebration of what could have been. But some things, no matter how luminous, weren’t meant to endure. And maybe that was okay. Because even in its brevity, it left something lasting—a healing fragment of you, etched into his once broken heart, immune to the passage of time.

And like an American divorce, it became a love story confined to memories—bittersweet and unfinished. You both knew it could never be more, but the echoes of it lingered, quietly shaping the man he would become.

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[ramp-it-up]

That Face

Summary: You get drunk and tell Bucky exactly what you want to do to that face.

Pairing: Beefy Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 1.9 K

A/N: You can read this as a companion piece to Red Wings.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT! Read at your own risk; curate your own experience. More angst on the part of the reader. Sweet Bucky fluff. Jealousy, excessive drinking, intoxication, drunken confessions, face riding, fingering, extreme oral sex (f receiving) anal play, praise kink, allusion to anal sex. Not Beta’d. All errors my own. 

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Bucky was holding you close to him, and it should have been romantic, but it wasn’t.

You were shit faced, and practically falling down with every step.

“Careful Doll, I’m gonna have to carry you home.”

After just six months of dating, you’d moved in with him, your relationship barreling along with breakneck speed, but who wouldn’t fall in love with Bucky?

Who wasn’t still in love with Bucky?

You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, half a block from your brownstone.

“That sounds hot, Bucky, but I’m pissed…”

“Yeah, I know…”

“No, I’m mad.”

You stomped your foot and wobbled, until Bucky’s hands steadied you again. Bucky bent down and looked you in the eyes.

“You good, Doll?”

His sky blue eyes looked sincere, but jealousy and alcohol wouldn’t let you accept that.

“No! This was supposed to be our night to fuck and have a romantic dinner. You’ve been gone for three weeks. Three weeks, James!”

Bucky looked contrite, but then again there were four of him weaving in front of you right now, so you couldn’t be sure.

“Sorry, Baby. Didn’t know the guys would be in town. It’s my crew.”

“I can take your army buddies, but her. She’s a bitch!”

“Wow. Whoa whoa whoa. You know I don’t like anyone calling women bitches. Even you.”

Bucky straightened up and the stern look he gave you sent a thrill through you, but you weren’t done.

“She still wants you, Bucky. Sharon is a slut. And you always say you love when I’m a slut for your cock.”

Bucky looked around as you started crying and people walking by avoided the scene.

“I don’t want Sharon, Doll. I want you.”

Bucky looked down at you, eyes sparkling with amusement at your jealousy. Even his voice was smiling. It made you madder and you stumbled as you advanced on him, bucking up to the man who was a foot taller than you.

“Look at that fucking face.”

You reached up and took his chin between your fingers.

“No one gets to ride this dimple but me!”

This time Bucky didn’t care about who heard, you’d peaked his interest. His eyebrow shot up.

Even though drunk, you read his expression.

“Yep!”

You nodded and it threw you off balance, but luckily Bucky was there.

“Betcha didn’t know that I touch myself to the memories of the feeling of that chin between my legs. Did it the entire time you were gone. That cock is something else Bucky, but that face. I just want to ride it into the sunset….”

This was new information to Bucky. You seemed to love when he ate you out, but you were always hesitant to ride his face. He licked his lips as he thought of you pleasuring yourself to the thought of his face.

Then he grinned.

You read him again.

“Oh no! No no no. You think you got me. But you said you were mine…”

Bucky leaned down to kiss your forehead.

“I am yours, Doll.”

“So she can’t ride your face?”

Bucky slowly shook his head.

“No, only you.”

You sighed and sagged into his arm.

“Good, because I-“

And that was the last thing you remembered from that night.

You woke up the next morning, head pounding. You looked around, grateful to be in your bed. And grateful for your boyfriend, who’d left a bottle of water and some aspirin on the bedside table.

You could hear Bucky puttering around in the kitchen but you weren’t quite ready to eat.

You eagerly took the pills and drank the bottle down. Then, you turned on the shower as you brushed your teeth.

You reflected on the gathering at The Howling Commando, the neighborhood bar so familiar to you as you met Bucky’s friends. Which included Sharon Carter.

Bucky’s ex.

“Bucky’s just being nice, y’know?”

Steve tried to reassure you as she and Bucky caught up in the corner. You nodded back at Steve, but when Bucky smiled at Sharon was when you ordered your first shot of Jameson’s.

You showered as you tried to remember the rest of the night. But all you could remember was Bucky’s sweet face. You wrapped up in a towel and sat on the bed as you thought of how sweet Bucky was. He was so cute. That face.

That face.

“Shit!”

Your head fell into your hands as you remembered what happened the night before.

“What’s wrong, Doll?”

You looked up and your heart dropped.

Bucky was clad in only sleep pants and you could tell that there was nothing underneath.

You licked your lips, not bothering to hide your stare. Bucky came and sat down on the bed.

“See something you like, Doll?”

“Morning.”

“G’morning Sunshine..”

Bucky leaned down and kissed you on the cheek, chaste, despite the look in his eye. Your eyes fell to his lips. And lower.

Bucky licked his lips and rubbed his chin.

“You didn’t answer my question, Doll.”

Bucky’s mouth was an inch from yours. He reached for your towel and hooked his finger at the makeshift knot, causing his fingernail to brush your nipple.

��Don’t tease me Bucky…”

“I should say the same to you, Doll. You told me all the things you wanted to do to my face and then passed out.”

“James! I was drunk!”

“They say we are the most honest when we’re drunk.”

Bucky kissed you and then looked into your eyes.

“D’you believe that I don’t care about Sharon?”

You liked into his true blue eyes and you knew he wasn’t lying.

“I believe you. I love you, Bucky.”

“I love you too, Doll.”

You reached up and caressed his lips and chin.

“Gotta admit. This face is pretty irresistible.”

Bucky grinned and you leaned in for a kiss and climbed on his lap, grinding as he took your towel off.

“Been so long, Bucky.”

Bucky’s hands caressed you as he leaned back and let you have your way.

You made your way down his body, reacquainting yourself with his form with your lips, tongue, and fingers. He lifted his hips as you pulled down his pajama pants, lightly scratching his thighs on the way down.

“God I missed you so much, Doll. Spent all last night just waiting until we could get home. Wanted to lose myself in you.”

You had Bucky in your hand, sitting on his legs as you stroked his half-hard cock to full life.

“M’sorry Babe. How can I make it up to you?”

You looked up at him, ready to suck his soul out.

“Come up here and ride this irresistible face.”

You gasped as Bucky pulled you up his body until you were kneeling over him.

“There she is.”

Bucky’s fingers helped to separate your lips as he breathed hot breath into your cunt.

“So fucking wet for me.”

And then he went to work on licking into your tangy goodness.

“So good. Such a good girl for me. Such a good pussy.”

Bucky sat you down and suckled your clit, pulling on it like it was gum, stretching it and your soul out for the world (inside your bedroom) to see. He was kneading your breasts and pulling your nipples, serving to make you wetter and him messier.

But it was only just beginning as you started gyrating on his chin.

Bucky smacked your ass and pushed you over on your hands and knees again.

“That’s a girl. Bounce on my tongue.”

You did as you were told, feeling Bucky’s chin in your vagina each time you bounced on his tongue.

“Smear that shit all over my fuckin face Doll. You know you want to.”

Bucky took your ass in his hands and then started moving you back and forth on his face. You were overwhelmed with numerous sensations as his lips, tongue and chin, covered with short facial hair, destroyed your soul.

“Now sit up and fuck this face, Doll. Please. ”

You peered down at his bright blue eyes as his fingertips grazed your stomach. You obeyed him as you pulled his hair and took your throne, his thick, wide tongue spearing into you as you fucked his face.

His chin was now grazing your puckered hole, and you moaned as the scruffy dimpled part of him made you tremble.

“J-James…”

Bucky spread your cheeks and moved his tongue so that it could invade your inmost parts. He licked you from ass to clit and your legs started trembling.

You leaned back over and bounced in his tongue again, holding your breasts with one hand as you braced against the wall with the other.

Bucky’s hand snaked around to flick your clit as you gasped and fully sat on his face as his tongue speared into you, twisting and curling, not as all consuming as his cock, but reaching that special spot inside you nonetheless.

You gasped and sat back, hand on his sternum as you rolled your hips into his face.

“Oh. Ohhhh, oh Jamesssss.”

You whimpered, and your crying-like noises as you moved told him how it felt.

“So… fuck it feels so good…

You were grabbing his hair as he craned his neck upward to look at you.

Bucky growled into your cunt then lifted you upright again, his thumb slipping into your ass. This caused a gush of your fluids into his mouth and he started moaning.

“Mmmmmm. Mmhmmmm!”

“Oahhhh oh ahhh.”

Bucky was still breaching your ass as his tongue sped up impossibly and his lips suckled your clit intermittently.

“More… please!”

You were seeing stars as you reached back and pushed Bucky’s thumb in to the hilt.

Bucky moaned as you started bouncing again. His hand was fucking your ass as you rode his face.

“Please please please…”

“Hmmph… yesssss.”

Bucky spoke into your cunt as you started to reach your crescendo. He could taste your orgasm coming before it happened. Everything sped up.

“Oh! Oh! Oh!”

“Ummmmmm!”

Bucky was in heaven as you continued to gush into his mouth.

You came with a scream as Bucky lapped you all up.

“Unnnnh!”

Bucky pulsed precum on his stomach as you came on his face.

“Unh ahhhh.

“So pretty, Doll. Stay right here.”

Bucky kissed your lips as you quivered in front of him.

“Want this ass. Gonna give it to me?”

“Bucky…”

“She’s ready for me now.”

Bucky’s finger found that hole again.

“Gonna make you feel real good.”

You whimpered as Bucky spit on his fingers and manipulated two of them inside you.

He gave your clit a peck with his lips and you jumped.

“Nice and loose for me.”

You looked down on him adoringly and carded your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp. He moaned.

“Please Doll. But only if you want that too. I need you. You’re my best girl. My good girl.”

You looked back, his cock jumping on his abs, sticky with his pre cum. You shuddered at his praise and at the thought of him inside that hole. But as Bucky probed and kissed you further, you knew you wanted it.

You didn’t need to look back down to know that Bucky was buried in your cunt again, bringing you to another peak. Instead, your head lolled back on your shoulders as you rode Bucky’s mouth again.

“Anything! Anything you want, Bucky…I want it too! Ah…”

You just couldn’t resist that face.

[literaryavenger]

I love you and I hate it - part 2

Summary: After your fight with Bucky, you put all your efforts into avoiding him, convinced that your friendship is over. Bucky, however, has other plans.

Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: Reader being dramatic. Angst. Language maybe. Minimal use of Y/N. Fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: I promise I didn't mean to make it this long, but I couldn't help myself, again, and I didn't want to end on another 'cliffhanger' so here it is! hope you like it!

Part 1

Masterlist

Bucky can't believe what he just heard... You like him?

No, you used the word ‘love’. You love him.

Do you love him?

Certainly, he would’ve noticed if you did... Right? He is a trained assassin, he was taught how to see beyond people’s words and actions.

And he knows you, you can deny it all you want, but he knows you better than anyone. He knows you better than he knows himself.

And if he’s being honest, you know him better than anyone ever has, Steve included.

You feel safe, you feel calm. You feel like the peace he’s always wanted, the quiet he needs.

You feel like home. In a platonic way, of course.

Right?

His thoughts of you are interrupted by Sharon’s voice. He didn’t even realize he was back at the party.

"Where did you go?" she asks and, suddenly, her grip on his arm was just a little too tight for his liking. But it was probably nothing.

"I went to check if Y/N was okay."

"Oh." something in her voice felt wrong, but Bucky tried to ignore it, that is until what she said next.

"Why would you even care about her? All she does is embarrass you like before. She’s useful to no one, I heard the only reason she’s even on the team is because she slept her way to it." she laughed like it was the funniest thought in the world, and Bucky couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Not only was she saying hurtful, untrue things about his girl, but she has the audacity to laugh at her own cruelty?

"How dare you?" he does his best not to yell, but his tone still startles Sharon. "Y/N is the best agent in all of Shield, that’s why she got in the team! She’s not an embarrassment, she’s a valued member of our family and she’s my best friend! Of course I care about her, she’s the most important person in my life! Don’t ever talk about her that way again."

Sharon seems shocked at his words but, looking around, she realizes people are starting to stare so she tries her best to defuse the situation. "Alright, I’m sorry, I won’t say things like that again. Let’s just calm down and have a nice rest of the evening, ok?"

In his head Bucky knew her request was reasonable, he could forget about this and keep having fun with his girlfriend. But in his heart he just knew he couldn’t let it go.

The words were coming out of his mouth before he can stop them, not that he even wants to.

"You know what, Sharon? This isn’t working. We have to break up." He doesn’t even give her a chance to say anything before he’s turning around and making his way to his room.

Meanwhile, on the roof, Steve’s trying to talk you down the ledge. Metaphorically speaking, obviously. 

"He hates me, Steve." you can't stop the tears.

"Stop saying that, sweetheart, he doesn’t hate you."

"You saw what happened at the party, the way he looked at me. And he heard me say that I love him and walked away like it was nothing." You sniffle. "If he didn’t hate me before, this certainly pushed him off the edge."

Steve has nothing to say to that, he knows Bucky doesn't hate you, but he also knows that you’re too stubborn to hear any reason, especially not right now when you're in the eye of the tornado and can't see a way out.

Right now you need a friend and shoulder to cry on, usually Bucky would take on that role, but, given the circumstances, Steve decides to step up and be that friend.

He wraps his arms around your crying body and holds you as you let it all out. Neither of you say anything else, the only sounds in the dark of the night being your sobs, until eventually you calm down and after a few moments of silence Steve glances down to see you fell asleep. 

Not wanting to wake you he carefully picks you up and makes his way to the elevator.

When he gets to the floor you both reside in he finds Sam and Natasha chatting at the kitchen counter, probably about to go to bed after coming up from the party.

Sam gives him a confused look, while Nat seems to understand what is going on right away as she moves without saying a word, walking ahead of Steve towards your room.

She opens the door for him and walks in behind, moving the covers back as he lays you on your bed as carefully as he can, and then Nat delicately takes your heels off before covering you with the duvet.

As they’re leaving your room the door opposite yours opens, revealing a hopeful Bucky but when he sees it’s not you, his face becomes stoic once again. He’s about to ask where you are when Natasha beats him to the punch.

"Leave her alone, Barnes. You’ve hurt her enough already." Is all she says before she steps into her own bedroom.

Bucky looks to his best friend for help but, at his confused face, the blonde super soldier just shakes his head in disappointment and walks away without a word.

Bucky stands there for a few minutes, just staring at your door like he's gonna will you to open it and talk to him.

He sighs and goes back to his room where he spends the next few hours overthinking about you and this whole night, eventually falling into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning when you wake up you feel at peace for about 10 seconds before the events of last night hit you like a truck, and all you can feel is humiliation.

How can you face the team after they witnessed your fight with Bucky?

How can you face Steve after he saw you at your most vulnerable and, apparently, carried you to bed after you cried yourself to sleep?

How can you face Bucky after he heard you say you love him and he walked away from you?

You can’t, that’s the answer.

Should you just move out? Just quit the team, ask Hill to be reassigned? Maybe you could even get transferred to another country...

You’re not overreacting, right? This is a very embarrassing situation and you have every right to want to run away from all of it.

As you’re making up an escape plan in your mind you hear a knock on your door, followed by Steve’s voice. "Hey, are you awake? We just want to make sure you're okay…"

You try to be as silent as you can, slowing down your breathing praying he’ll think you’re sleeping.

You can hear him exchange some muffled words with what sounds like Natasha, and then you hear their footsteps as they walk away, so you let out a relieved sigh.

Okay, step one is definitely getting out of this room, it’s just the most obvious place where to look for you.

You get up and out of your awfully classy dress, take a shower being sure to clean away all the makeup from last night and put on the most comfortable sweats you own.

Just as you’re opening the door you can see Bucky opening his about to get out and, in a panic move, you run back inside your room and slam the door shut.

Very subtle, yes.

You rest your back against the door and can hear him sigh and then walk away.

You wait a few minutes, just to be sure, and then relax a little. Your plan was to go to the gym and work out a bit, but now all you can think about is getting the hell out of this compound.

You grab your purse, make sure to have your phone and keys in it and open the door, making sure no one’s around before getting out.

You’re practically running, taking the stairs for good measure, and in a flash you’re at the garage. You jump in your car and drive away as fast as you can without breaking the law, not even knowing where to go.

Once you’re in the city you stop at a cafe for breakfast near your favorite book store, the one you and Bucky have visited together a hundred times.

Okay, stop that. No more thinking about Bucky.

You spend the rest of the day just going from one store to the other, stopping to have lunch at the diner you always go to when you’re in the city, and trying not to kick yourself for not being able to stop thinking about Bucky.

Seriously, why can’t you stop thinking about him?

It doesn’t help the fact that every one of your favorite places has at least a hundred and twelve memories of Bucky.

God, have you ever gone anywhere on your own in the last two years?

The more memories come to mind the more you think that maybe transferring wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Go somewhere new, get a fresh start.

When it starts getting dark you decide to drive back to the compound, but when you park and turn the car off you can’t find it in yourself to get out.

You take out your phone, which you’ve been ignoring all day, and go through all the messages of your worried friends, hating yourself a little more when you catch yourself looking for his name in your notifications.

Just as you’re about to answer Tony’s texts first, you get a call from Steve. You stare at your phone, unsure if you can stomach answering him right now, but your decision is rendered moot when someone taps against your car window.

Your head snaps towards it and you let out a breath of relief when you see Steve standing there, holding his phone and using it to tap on your window again.

You close your eyes for a second but resign to your fate as you gather your things and get out of the car.

When you lock your car you turn to see that Steve moved to be leaning on the trunk of your car, so you join him and wait for him to say something, not knowing what to say yourself.

"So," he starts, with his arm folded in front of his chest and looking at his shoes "you’re avoiding all of us now?" You let out a sigh, feeling bad for hurting his feelings.

"I’m sorry, Steve. I just…" you can’t even look at him as you talk, so you just look ahead of you at all the cars "I’m just embarrassed. After everything that happened last night, I don’t know… God, you even carried me to bed like a child." you cover your face with your hands.

You finally look at him when you hear him chuckling. "That’s what friends do, Y/N. They lean on each other." he bumps your shoulder with his playfully.

"I know we’re not as close as you and Bucky, but I am your friend too. I’m not gonna judge you for last night, I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s what we all want. You made us worry that you might run away on us." He says the last part as a joke, but you can’t help looking away from him.

That’s exactly what you wanted to do.

You bite your lip as he keeps looking at you and you feel like he can see the gears turning in your head, like your thoughts are so loud and your guilt so visible that he knows right away he was right on the money.

"Y/N…" it’s almost a warning, but you still can’t find the courage to look at him. "You were seriously thinking of running away?!" he seems almost shocked.

"Okay, it’s not like I’m a teenager running away in the middle of the night after a fight with her parents!" you finally look at him. "I was just considering… I don’t know, maybe asking for a transfer?"

"So you actually want to leave the team just because you had a fight with Bucky?" He scoffs.

"It’s not just the fight, Steve, he knows I love him and he doesn’t even care!" You yell before sighing and lovering your voice.

"Do you realize how much that hurts? And now I’m supposed to, what? Just go back to how things used to be? Pretend like nothing happened? Even if we’re not friends anymore, he lives across the hall from me! I’m bound to see him and it’s gonna hurt every fucking time!" You’re almost crying, again, but you hold back not wanting to go through that again and you look away.

"I know it hurts, trust me, sweetheart, but… what about us?" you look at him again as he goes on. "We’re your team too. We’re your friends, we’re your family... You can’t just leave us. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but we can help you make it better. We all care about you a lot." It’s honestly a miracle you’re not crying already. You feel him take your hand, but don’t look away from his face.

"Please let us help you." you squeeze his hand and nod, not trusting your voice not to break and the flood to hit as soon as you open your mouth.

He smiles at you and you can’t help but do the same. "Good. Then let’s go up and have dinner like we always do." He starts walking and taking you with him, his hand still in yours.

While you’re waiting for the elevator you can’t hold yourself back as you turn to him and give him a tight hug. "Thank you."

He hugs you back just as tight. "Anytime, rookie." you snort and let go of him, giving him a punch in the arm you’re sure he didn’t even feel as he laughs with you.

When you get to the big kitchen most of the team is already there and you sit down next to Natasha while Steve sits at her other side.

The seat next to you is quickly occupied by Sam as he bings the pizza to the table. He gives you a side hug and squeezes your arm in sympathy but aside from that nobody even mentioned what happened last night, which you're grateful for.

You eat like always, having conversations, laughing and teasing each other like normal, you didn’t feel like anyone was pitying you and you realized Steve was right: these people are your family, you could never leave them.

And, as you watch Loki and Peter trying to make you laugh by messing with Thor’s hair, putting tiny umbrellas in it while he's not looking, you just know they’re gonna help you through everything.

What makes you sad to notice is that one brooding super soldier is missing, though you don’t bring it up for fear of opening that particular door.

And that’s how you spend the next few weeks: avoiding anything and everything that has to do with Bucky, including the man himself.

You start training with Natasha and realize how easy Bucky went on you.

You do more missions with Sam and Steve and realize that missions aren't as fun for everybody as they were for you and Bucky.

You hang out during your down time with pretty much everyone and realize that you couldn’t have as much fun with everyone as you had with Bucky.

So yeah, as much as you could avoid Bucky and talking about him to anybody, he lived rent free in your head.

Fun, huh?

It also didn’t help the look that Steve gave you every time you basically ran out of a room as soon as you caught a glimpse of your former best friend. 

Everybody noticed the change in your friendship, but it felt like they all took a silent oath to not mention anything to either of you, and you were glad they were respecting your choice to stay away from Bucky.

He, on the other hand, was going crazy.

He hasn’t seen you in weeks, except for those few seconds before you realize he’s in the same room and run away.

He doesn’t hear your voice unless he’s eavesdropping on you with someone else, but even then he never hears his name come out of your mouth.

Nobody will tell him anything about you, the only thing he can get out of Steve is ‘she’s okay, just give her time’.

He’s been trying his best to give you the space you need, but he feels like he’ll lose his mind if he doesn’t hear you say his name soon.

It’s been a month of successfully and not so subtly avoiding Bucky.

There was one time where, as the team about to land for a mission, he got much too close to you for your liking and you thought he was about to say something so you grabbed a parachute and quite literally jumped out the jet, then walked the rest of the way to the Hydra base.

Everyone had to wait for you, some annoyed, but most found the situation too amusing to be bothered by it.

Anyway. 

You’re at the gym for an early morning workout, a habit you took to when you started avoiding Bucky.

You know he usually stays up at night. Occasionally because he still gets nightmares, usually because his overthinking mind tortures him until early hours. So he uses mornings to sleep in when he doesn’t have missions.

You’re on the treadmill when you hear the doors of the gym open behind you but think nothing of it, assuming it’s just Steve replacing his morning run with a workout because it’s too hot to run outside.

When you don’t hear him say anything, you’re about to turn your head to see who it is, but before you can do anything you feel two hands, one cold and one hot, on your waist.

You squeal when they pick you up and take you away from the treadmill, setting you down on the ground in front of it before turning off the machine.

"Bucky, what the fuck?! I could’ve gotten hurt!" you were so shocked you didn’t even fully realize you were actually talking to the person you’ve spent so much time and effort avoiding, or that you were walking backwards while Bucky was getting closer to you.

"Oh please, I’d ever let you get hurt." he’s sounds almost amused, like this is a normal thing between you two, but the truth is he’s just happy that you’re actually talking to him.

When your back hits the wall you realize too late that it’s Bucky in front of you and suddenly you’re looking around you to find a way to escape. But all you find is that he’s successfully trapped you between the wall and his body, his hands on the wall at either side of your head.

You swallow hard and if he notices he doesn’t say anything, but your brain is too busy registering the warmth of his body so close to yours to even be ashamed right now.

"Is this the only way I’ll get to talk to you now?" you almost miss his question, your eyes snapping up to meet his and, where you expected to see a smug look at having caught you not only off guard but also ogling, you found a frown and a slight pout.

Something about the hurt on his face stopped you from lying or straight up kicking him so he’d move and you could run away.

No, Bucky was your best friend, you’ve always felt the need to be honest with him ever since that first day, and even now you owe it to him to tell him nothing but the truth.

"I just need time." You hoped he understood.

"How much more time do you need?" Apparently not.

"I don’t know, can’t you just be patient?" You can't believe you really have to ask him this.

"It’s been a month, doll, I think I’ve been plenty patient. Are you planning on avoiding me forever?"

"Not forever… just… I don’t know." If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know how long you would’ve kept on avoiding him.

You were so busy doing the actual avoiding that you didn’t take the time to think about when you’d be able to stop.

You let out a sigh, but didn’t look away from his eyes for a second. He needs to know you meant every word you're about to say. "I was hurting, Bucky. I still am. I get that you have a girlfriend-"

"I broke up with her." he interrupts you.

"You… What?" you weren’t expecting that. "When?"

"The night of our fight. I would’ve told you sooner but it was hard to catch you, you know, with you avoiding me and everything."

You almost lost your train of thought, but it didn’t matter that he was single, he was still the first one to walk away, why was it so wrong for you to do it now?

"It doesn’t matter… I know you don’t owe me anything, but you walked away from me. From my feelings." you can see Bucky’s confusion so, before he can say anything, you explain yourself.

"That night on the roof. I know you were there, you heard me say that I loved you and you walked away like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. I know you don’t like me like that, and I can live with that in time, but it hurt. It still hurts." you don’t know what you were expecting him to say, but it definitely wasn’t he says next.

"Do you remember the day we met?" you furrow your brows in confusion but he waits for you to nod before he keeps going. "We’ve never really talked about it, have we? It's ironic since we’ve talked about pretty much every topic we could possibly come up with. But that day, you introduced yourself and I just got up and walked away. Kind of what you’ve been doing this past few weeks."  he chuckles a bit and you have the impression he's getting closer to your face, but you're probably just imagining that.

"Yeah, I thought I did something wrong, but you were just a rude bitch." he laughs and you can’t help but smile.

"I’m sorry about that, I just… the second I saw you I felt weird. And when you talked to me it was too much, I couldn’t handle it. I didn’t know what I was feeling and my brain just screamed at me to get out, so I did. Then you came to my door and said all those nice things and that weird feeling started to feel more and more comfortable as you talked. It was nice. Then we became friends and I guess I just dismissed that feeling as friendship. It was a different type of friendship that I’d never had... But then again I’ve never been this close to a woman. Emotionally speaking, of course." His hand comes to cup your cheek and you can’t speak, so he takes the opportunity to say everything he needs to say.

"This month has been hell for me, doll. I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anybody in my entire life. Not being able to spend time with you, joke around, talk to you, barely even see you. It's been driving me insane. Being away from you for so long made me realize what that feeling was. You’re not just my best friend, you’re my person. You’re my calm, and my reason. You’re my happiness, my home. You’re the love of my life."

"What?" you're basically whispering, so quietly you’re sure he wouldn’t have heard you if he didn’t have super hearing.

"I love you too, doll. I love you." he holds your face in his hands "I love you."

You feel like your brain shut down all of a sudden. You barely know how to breathe, let alone talk. All you can do is stare at him, the look he's giving you making you weak in the knees.

"You’re killing me here, doll. For the love of god, say something, angel." The nickname seems to snap you out of it, and there's only one thing in your mind left to ask.

"If you love me, why didn’t you tell me on the roof?" He let out a deep sigh, you can feel his breath on your lips, but you try your hardest to focus on his words and not his lips.

"For one I was still with Sharon. And I didn’t really know what I was feeling. Also, I wasn’t even sure you were serious. Honestly, I was just confused about the whole thing, and still mad about the fight. Nothing good would’ve come from me staying and talking to you that night. I probably would’ve ended up hurting you more." All that makes a lot of sense, sure, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt.

The look in Bucky’s face at the moment though makes you want to forgive him right this second and let this whole thing go. Pretend like the last month didn’t happen. 

So that’s what you do.

"What if…" you start, looking back and forth between his eyes and his lips "what if we forget all of this happened?"

"No." he answered so fast and firmly that it made you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and disappointment. "I don’t want to forget anything about us, doll. Good or bad, it’s all worth it, as long as it ends with you in my arms."

You're melting and can't hold yourself back, you grab his face and bring his lips down to yours.

He freezes, probably not expecting it, but when you're about to pull away, he holds your face to keep you there, deepening the kiss.

After a few moments you hear someone clear their throat and almost throw Bucky off of you, looking behind him while he turns to see who it is and you see Steve and Sam standing there, amused looks on their faces.

"We were just talking." You blurted out and Sam cracked and almost doubled over with laughter.

"Really?" Steve said while raising an eyebrow, almost exasperated and knowing damn well what you were doing.

"Sure they were, Steve, she was obviously trying to get the word out of his mouth!" Sam said to the blonde, still laughing his ass off.

"Oh, of course she was. Tell us, sweetheart, what did you find in Bucky’s mouth?" Steve was now laughing too, and you were so embarrassed you hid your face in Bucky’s chest.

He wrapped his arms around you, barely glaring at the two laughing idiots. "Ok, just get out of here, punks." Fortunately for once in their lives they decided to actually listen and left, their laughs echoing through the halls.

"You okay there, doll?" Bucky was now chuckling at your embarrassment.

You raised your head and, meeting his eyes, you said "I can’t believe Captain Dumbass is making fun of us for kissing."

He started laughing and you gladly joined him, looking forward to making up for the time you missed with him, unknowingly promising each other to never let go of the other ever again.

taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @spookyparadisesheep @scott-loki-barnes @pattiemac1 @emerald-writes @sapphirebarnes

[wandascrush]

Just let me in

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader, Sharon Carter x Fem!reader

A/N: Pt. 2 of Let The Light In

Warnings: Angst, fluff, more angst, kissing, arguments, ANGST

Song: Let The Light In- Lana Del Rey

Her car hummed to a start, sputtering and coughing before taking off down the long road to San Francisco- 42 hours to be exact. The city seemed emptier without her, the familiar sights of San Francisco now tainted with bittersweet memories of what used to be. Nat was too homesick to eat, drink, even sleep. But she wasn’t homesick for San Francisco, or the minimalistic home she rented in Washington - she was homesick for you. Almost two days later she was standing at your front door in the pouring rain, shaking and shivering. This was also the last moment she could imagine what your reaction would be, before reality hit her.

Observant eyes noticed all the new changes to the home, brighter and prettier without Natasha in it. And she saw a new car in the driveway, shiny and classic. Not your style at all. 

    Meanwhile, you were inside cooking a warm meal for the pretty agent, Sharon, if you remembered correctly, that was sitting on your couch. She was a beautiful blonde in a form fitting black dress with nude heels, and some files waiting  to go over with you. You both were adults, and you knew this was more than just a debrief when she brought wine and red lipstick that would look better on your lips. Sharon was different from Nat, just as confident, but soft- warm…maybe kind was the word you were looking for. You missed that. 

 It'd been nearly a year since Natasha left. The memory of that night still haunts you—the door slamming, her duffle bag slung over her shoulder, the way she couldn't even look at you as she walked away. The way you cried and begged her to change for months, asked her to stay for you. Asked why you weren’t enough. That was the night you heard one of the most painful words echo from the woman that had your heart in her hands, “Sometimes you just aren’t enough. Maybe you never were, Y/N.” And in that moment you knew you had to let her go. Months were spent wondering what you did wrong, how things had unraveled so quickly after what you thought was a strong, loving relationship. 

But time heals all wounds, as they say. Slowly, you started to move on. Friends encouraged you to get back out there, to rediscover yourself, and eventually, you took Sharon up on her offer for a “debrief.” The aroma of the lasagna you've prepared fills the air, mingling with the faint sound of jazz playing in the background. You laugh together, eat, and hardly remember the files sitting untouched in the coffee table. 

Outside, hidden by the shadows of the night, Natasha sat on your front doorstep, waiting for you to open the door, or to gather the courage to knock. As the Black Widow stood at the door, fist raised, ready to knock, something stops her. Through the window, she catches sight of you. 

You look radiant, a soft smile on your face as you pour a glass of wine for Sharon. Maybe her first, maybe her third. You two had lost count. The warmth of your home, the way you look at the beautiful blonde with your bright eyes crinkling at the ends, laughing till a tear rolled down your cheek—it hits Natasha like a punch to the gut. And some sick, punishing part of herself can't tear her big green eyes away from the scene, the sight of you happy and moving on. Nothing like the turmoil she's been living in.

 Her heart aches as she watches you lean closer to Sharon, your laughter reaching her ears even from outside. And at that moment, Natasha, once affectionately called “Natty,”  knows she has no right to disrupt your happiness. As Sharon leans in to kiss you, you catch a glimpse of movement outside the window. For a brief second, you think you see someone familiar, like that familiar head of red hair that could bring you to your knees. But then it's gone. You shake your head, dismissing it as a trick of the light or your mind playing games. Tonight, you're happy, and that’s all you need. 

Natasha drives away, the city lights blurring into streaks as tears well up in her eyes. 

When soft, warm morning light hits you the next morning and the weight of Sharon’s arm is wrapped around your bare waist, you feel good. Really good. Finally. As you make the pretty blonde asleep in your bed a fresh cup of coffee and open your front door to get the mail, you see a wet bouquet of flowers on the floor.

 A simple note attached reads, “Did I lose you forever?” 

[missvelvetsstuff]

No Benefits

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Sharon Carter

Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.

Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.

Notes: Steve and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon

I try to keep my Reader description vague but she's a she and above average height

Here goes nothing

Chapter 1

Warnings: Swearing, mostly angst, eventual happy ending.

Y/N, or Cookie to her friends, was at her desk, trying to finish her report so she could leave work early for one of Tony Stark's parties. This wasn't her first time but tonight her bff and mostly secret crush, Bucky Barnes, was escorting her. It wasn't the first time for that either but tonight felt different. Usually they met at the elevator but when they spoke earlier he said he would pick her up at her room. They had been getting closer in the last few months and even Steve and Sam had commented about Bucky's behavior towards her.

The night was everything she had dreamed, Bucky was attentive and always had his hands on her, respectfully of course but more intimate than he usually was. They danced much of the night and when slow songs came on he pulled her close and she could feel his breath on her neck, causing chills.

Towards the end of the night, Bucky pulled her to the elevator and kissed her until they reached his floor. They were in his room, her dress gone before she could think twice, not that she would have.

She could taste the Asgardian ale on his breath, blending with the tequila on hers. Everything was a blur of flesh and feelings she had never experienced before. She couldn't get enough, neither could he.

Y/N opened her eyes to bright light and a bedroom that wasn't hers. The pounding in her head a reminder of how much she drank last night. She looked around and realized it was Bucky's room, where she spent so much of her time. Suddenly, she realized that she was naked and her stomach dropped. She had hazy memories of shots and kisses that turned into more. The kiss in the elevator. She smiled even though her head hurt, she had been crushing on Bucky since the day they met and was amazed that he actually wanted her too.

Cookie wasn't your typical beauty, taller than most girls and with more curves than your typical agent. Of course, she wasn't a field agent but was the lead intelligence analyst on the east coast reporting directly to Maria Hill.

She reached over to find his side of the bed was cool but figured he must have gone on his morning run with Steve and Sam. She sat up and saw a bottle of water next to some pain killers, which she downed, grateful that Bucky was so thoughtful. Drinking the entire bottle of water she realized she really needed to pee. Standing slowly so as not to irritate her headache she grabbed one of Bucky's t-shirts to cover herself and went to relieve herself. When she was done she went back to sit up in bed and check her emails for today's agenda.

When she was responding to a message from Maria Hill the suite door opened and Bucky came in, sweaty and gorgeous. He saw her curled up on his bed and smiling up at him.

"Morning Buck. Good run?"

He nodded and smirked "Yeah, Sam whined at us to wait up but we just lapped him until he shut up"

"Sounds fun. Since it's Sunday and nothing is scheduled, why don't you take a shower and come back to bed?"

Bucky felt his heart stop "Look doll about last night. You know you're one of my best friends and I love you but I don't feel comfortable getting into a real relationship right now. I still have so much work to do on myself. Last night was great and I was thinking we could have one of those friends with extras, or whatever it's called. You know, to blow off steam."

Her stomach dropped and she felt her eyes filling up "You mean friends with benefits?"

He nodded enthusiastically "Yeah, that's it." he smiled hopefully.

Y/N was quiet for a minute before responding, was it worth the almost guaranteed heartbreak to have more nights like last night? She shook her head, unwilling to take that risk again.

"I'm sorry Buck but I can't do that. I get attached and end up heartbroken. I can't sleep with people that I don't have romantic feelings for."

His eyes grew wide "Wait, that means you have feelings...." He trailed off.

She nodded whispering "Yeah, I do."

Bucky's face dropped "Shit, Cookie, I'm sorry. I thought we were on the same page last night. I don't know what to say. I mean, I might develop feelings over time but I don't know. I don't want to make any promises, you know?"

She swallowed the sob that tried to escape "You don't have to say anything, we can just pretend this never happened. Ok?"

She got up from the bed, clutching the sheet to her and desperately searching for her dress from last night. When she found it she quickly put it on not realizing it was inside out.

He nodded but wasn't feeling too sure of that, he could hear her heart speed up and see her hands shaking "Yeah, sure, nothing has to change."

She smiled at him sadly, tears escaping "I uh I just remembered some paperwork I needed to finish up. I'll catch you later."

"Wait doll. I-"

"Don't worry it's fine." She cleared her throat "I could use a little space and just have work to do." She kissed him on the cheek before rushing out.

Bucky stood there, not sure how to proceed. He didn't want to lose his friend but really didn't feel like he could handle a relationship now. The stress relief from the great sex they had was something he could handle and he did have feelings for her, since the day he arrived at the compound but he knew she deserved a better man than him.

**Flashback**

Y/N was in her office reviewing some reports to glean even the smallest details before they went to the appropriate briefing packets that the field agents would use to form their strategy, when she received a text from Captain America himself, requesting her presence in the common area.

She put away all of the classified info on her desk, locked it and locked the door on her way out. She took the elevator which opened into the common area and was surprised to see a large group of agents already there.

She heard Steve shout her name "Cookie! Over here." and saw his hand waving so headed in his direction.

Steve gave her a hug and pulled away excitedly "Look Cookie, it's my friend, Bucky."

Cookie smiled and offered her hand. When Bucky looked at her she felt her breath catch, holy shit was he gorgeous, way hotter than the pictures in his file "Pleased to meetcha Sargent Barnes"

Both of them felt sparks when they touched but Bucky responded like she had burned him pulling away quickly. Cookie's smile dropped for a second before she forced it back.

Bucky looked at her through his long hair "You too, ma'am."

She could see how he was shrinking into himself, trying to look smaller so she stepped back to give him space.

Steve looked at them both oddly but smiled softly when he heard how fast her heart was beating and the slight blush on Bucky's face. That was a look he remembered from so many years ago, when Bucky met Dot.

**end flashback**

The next few weeks were tense, Y/N and Bucky barely spoke outside of Avengers business. He was always busy, rushing to train or something every time she tried to talk to him. The guilt on his face showed everything, he hated that he hurt her but missed their time together. As soon as he saw her look at him longingly, before she realized he was looking and wiped that look from her face, he had to leave. He hated himself because he knew it hurt her more every time he avoided her but he just couldn't handle seeing her and being reminded of the pain he caused.

There were other, senior agents being trained by Steve, with Bucky and Sam, to prepare for an upcoming mission. Sifting through all the related Intel was keeping Y/N up at night and her haggard appearance had been noticed by most of the team.

They had a meeting to start going over the Intel to plan their strategy. On her way in, Y/N ran into Sharon Carter who she had worked with previously.

"Hey Agent Carter, good to see you."

Sharon laughed softly "Please, Y/N, we've worked together enough for you to call me Sharon."

Y/N laughed awkwardly "Um yeah, Sharon. So how have you been? Any luck finding the power broker?"

Sharon shook her head obviously frustrated "No, he's crafty for sure but we'll get him. Rumor is this mission relates to him."

Y/N nodded, "yeah, all of the serious crime in eastern Europe seem to lead back to him." She looked up and saw Nick Fury striding towards them and straightened her shoulders "Director Fury."

He nodded at her "Agent Y/L/N. Carter. Why don't we get this started, Cookie." He looked down at the container on top of her papers.

Y/N went to the front of the room to sit next to Fury's spot at the head of the table, setting the container in his place. She saw that Sharon sat next to Bucky and started talking to him, touching his right arm and laughing softly. Y/N saw Bucky smiling and felt her chest ache, her stomach cramp up and her throat dried since apparently all the water went to her eyes. She sat down and Sam, the only one who knew what happened with her and Bucky, gave her a sad smile and squeezed her hand.

They held hands through the entire meeting, Bucky and Sharon touching hands under the table. He never liked people touching him except for Y/N but apparently he made an exception for Sharon because he just sat smiling. He never even looked towards Y/N.

When the meeting ended, Bucky and Sharon were the first ones out the door as he quickly led her to his room.

Y/N could barely breathe and rushed to her own room, glad it was on a different floor from Bucky's because she didn't think she could handle hearing him and Sharon go at it.

For the next couple of months it went like that. Bucky and Sharon spending most of their time in his room and Y/N trying to stay busy so she didn't think about it. They were hands off outside of his room and insisted they were just friends when Sam mentioned they were always together. Bucky heard Sam grumble about how Y/N used to be the one he wanted to hang out with, but blew it off. Nothing wrong with having a couple of friends. And Y/N didn't want a casual relationship while Sharon was down for everything and was teaching Bucky a lot.

Sharon was friendly with Cookie in the beginning but started being nasty to Y/N, calling her names and throwing out barely veiled insults when Bucky wasn't around, and did everything she could to keep them apart. Not that Bucky ever seemed to notice, too wrapped up in the constant sex to see much else. Even at team functions Sharon worked to keep her away from Bucky, so much that Y/N just avoided the both of them when at all possible.

Y/N was depressed and missing her friend. She had lost weight and had dark circles under her eyes which she claimed were from working all hours. Time wasn't helping at all, she still had dreams about that night and felt an ache in her chest every time she saw Bucky. A couple of times he tried to talk to her, invite her for the movies nites that she never attended anymore but Sharon always started whining for him and Y/N took the hint and made excuses that she had paperwork or needed sleep, anything to avoid them.

Bucky, Sam and Sharon were offsite for a few days so Y/N could pour herself into work and not worry about running into them.

Late one night she was talking to one of her informants in Latvia and the connection was weak. She claimed to have the details on the Power Broker but static kept interfering with the connection.

Y/N heard banging

"Marta?! Marta are you ok? What's going on?"

There was more banging and a clicking noise then she heard Marta crying and begging.

A muffled womans voice came on the line "You better back off of the Power Broker or you will regret it"

Y/N was pissed "Who the Hell is this? Where's Marta? What did-" she heard a gunshot and the crying stopped.

The voice chuckled "She's unavailable and if you don't wise up, you will be too."

The call disconnected.

Y/N had tears in her eyes. She had met Marta a few years back, she had kids, a family. Now Y/N took that weight and swore to whoever was listening that she would make sure the Power Broker paid for this on top of all the other death and destruction.

Y/N refused to stop and eventually passed out on her laptop. She woke to a loud knocking "Y/N you in there? Fury got a package and wants you in his office 20 minutes ago."

Y/N sighed, Maria Hill. "I'll be down asap."

15 minutes later she was out of breath on her way into his office. "Cookie, there you are. I don't know who sent this but both of our names were on it so I'm hoping you know what's up."

Y/N looked over the package, Latvian stamp no return address. She sighed "Looks like it's from one of my informants in Latvia. I was on the phone with her last nite when she was shot. And a distorted womans voice told me to back off of the Power Broker or I'd be next."

Fury nodded "Alright well let's see what she had."

Y/N carefully opened the package which included a large white envelope that felt like it was full of pictures and a zip lock with a post-it that said 'fingerprints'.

Fury called an intern in to take the prints for processing as Y/N pulled out a stack of pictures. Her jaw dropped as her heart sped up and she began to shake. There was one thing the pictures all had in common......

Sharon fucking Carter.

Chapter 2

[bi-ss]

~ Ties that bind ~

Bucky x reader- arranged marriage.

Summary: You agreed to arrange marriage when you were little, after seeing who you are to marry. You wish you could go back.

Warning- drinking? None i can't think of.

(Spelling may be bad as I'm very dyslexic sorry in advance)

You've been staying in your bestfriends apartment for 2 days now, you've just had more time to think about what will become of your life, you didn't get as many texts from James as you thought when you went to bed around 11PM but oh lord when you woke up it wouldn't stop going off, in all truth your phone died and you fell asleep with it on charge.

"Omg, would you turn that off.. It's 6:30, i love you, but not that much.." your friend groaned as she walked over to your phone to turn it off seeing you still in your make shift bed, you were about to get up and go get coffee but a 'huh' your friend made caught your attention.

"What? If it's something stupid, imma smack you so hard.." You look at your now bright screen to see unread texts coming through from an unknown caller, you picked it up and started reading some, with her reading over your shoulder, your were confused at first because you didn't know who it was but when finding out who thought it would be an amazing idea to text you at an ungodly time, but you soon figured it out, it was james.

You were annoyed at not only did he get home at 1am close to 2 so you would have been there for hours on your own but because he was the last person you wanted to talk to.

Rolling your eyes you went on with your life, making and drink a cup of coffee then getting ready to attend a fashion show, you weren't walking but you were invited with front row seats and couldn't pass it up, and there was have after party which you managed to get your friend into aswell somehow, so a minimum of 6 hours away from James and all the stress in the world.

"I wonder if theres cute guys there? I hope so. Ugh, after me and Josh broke up, I've been so lonely.. in bed, of course, i dont want commitment!" You watch as your best friend since college, Chloe, yapped about boys while realising for the 4th time today what's going to change when you marry James, "have you seen Joshs new girlfriend, I think we went to high school with her.. shes nice..." As she continues to gossip while doing makeup, you zone out and think about your life until she claps, getting your attention once again, "you know what?! I'm happy for Josh. I'm happy being single. He's happy being non single." She smiled at you."You should be happy you're marrying one of the most richest and most powerful men in America, probably the world, maybe.." You just nod and smile at her. You don't know if you are smiling because she's smiling or if what she said was correct, you're sure you'll find out.

While driving to the fashion show, the topic of James was brought up, "if I were marrying him, I'd be in his bed so fast," Chloe stated for the 38th time. "Is it true? The rumours about his arm, that's is.. no doubt the rumours about his dick aren't false -" You zone out from your friends rant about James when your phone screen lit up from a text... his text.. one after the other..

You zoned back in to hear chloe talking about Zeon. In all fairness, you didn't know who he was, but also, she hadn't spoken about him til now, or you think so? You were about to ask who he was until you see a modern building with lots of windows and a weird looking woman statue but with no curves and all straight lines and spikes, it did make you uncomfortable in an unspeakable way but you got out of the car and walked past it while looking down, you walked up to the bouncer you, showing your Ids and was let in, after the man blocking the door with a clipboard questioned chloe about if she was in the right place or not.

You were seated towards the end of the runway, which you didn't mind, but what you did mind was the constant camera flash some for the models but mostly for you.. that isn't helping you stay away from James, but you do like attention. The event was over later than you expected as some older women went on a rant about how fashion changed and how it was disturbing now or whatever.

You parked in a 24/7 parking zone and walked a little over 10 minutes for the after party that was already in full swing when you got there, heading straight towards the bar with chloe walking close behind to order a mocktail since you dont drink often but over to your left chloe was downing tequila shots like water, that wasn't surprising but what was surprising was when she ordered a cocktail and sent it your way, she knows you don't drink but looking around and seeing all the lady's glancing at you knowingly you thought this was one of the rare occasions where you will drink, and drink you did.

You knew from the start that marrying James Barnes wouldn't be easy from all his "fans" who are just girls throwing themselves on him but finding out he has a girlfriend? A whole other can of worms you didn't realise opened but the girls at this club were a new level of bitchy, like one tried spilling her red wine on you but ended up missing and it went over the lad next to you who weren't amused at all or when you were dancing with chloe and some other chick tried tripping you but you stepped over her foot unknowingly but 30 seconds later you did almost trip yourself up, but that's about the last thing you remember apart from getting more drink and getting hit on some else happening then dancing on someone or dancing on your companion.

But you do know 1 thing for certain is that you've woken up with a massive banging head ache in a warm bed, half dressed and with what you assumed someone sleeping next to you as they haven't moved, unless they're watching you sleep?

(Lol sorry i hadn't been posting i just moved, lmao, so that's taken most of my time)

TAGS: @learis @unaxv @cjand10 @pattiemac1 @coffee-winter-and-silence @scott-loki-barnes @blackhawkfanatic

[thelittleliars]

New Year

Warnings: kinda fluff?

Words: 2.2K

Summary: Wanda dragged you to the Avengers Compound after your friends cancelled last minute on New Year's Eve.

AN: I have a lot of stories stored in my drafts but this is the first one I'll publish so be warned about the awful writing!

You sat with best friend Wanda in some random pub on new year’s eve since all your other friends cancelled on you last minute. Wanda was so nice and rescued you from being alone in the pub. She promised to stay for a couple of drinks before going home or just somewhere else. 

"Y/N, let’s go. You’ve had enough drinks." Wanda said but you tried to ignore her words. You sit so comfortable that you don’t want to get up and get dragged somewhere else. "Give me a good reason to get up right now." You groaned.

"You said you wanted to get kissed by some random girl, right?" You nodded eagerly at her. "Look around you.. do you actually see any woman here?" She was right, there was no other women than you two. "Well.. there is always you." You tease her shamelessly. Wanda gaped at you even though she was used to your flirtiness. "You know, if I weren’t wholeheartedly in love with Vision I’d still say no to you."

You grabbed your chest and acted as if her words hurt deeply. "Wanda.. how could you do this to me? My poor heart. So broken now.. thank you." She giggled at your goofiness before she slapped your arm and got a serious look on her face. "I know a place with a few girls who’s love to volunteer to kiss you at midnight." Wanda wanted you to come back to the Avengers Compound. You were there only once or twice but that was enough for almost every female Avenger, their friends and other STARK employees to be extremely smitten by you and asked Wanda a lot about you. The poor redhead tried so many times to get you to come and visit her but the Compound just wasn’t your type of place.

You paid for your drinks immediately after hearing Wanda’s words. Then followed her like a lost puppy to the Avenger’s Compound without any question. As soon as you two walked through the doors of the living room all eyes were on you. 

"Y/N Y/L/N, you’re alive!" Yelena shouted with excitement while Kate choked on her drink. The archer got a huge crush on you and Yelena teased her about it all the time. Sharon Carter immediately rushed to your side and asked if you wanted a drink. Before you could even say anything Wanda told her that you already had a good amount of alcohol in you. You thanked Sharon with a huge smile. The moment she saw you smile at her, her knees gave in a bit and almost made a fool out of herself.

The Black Widow didn’t like the way you smiled at Sharon. It made her fucking furious. "Wanda did you manipulate Y/N’s mind in order for them to come here?" Wanda smirked at you before she looked back at Natasha. "She willingly came after I said I know a place with girls who’d love to kiss her at midnight since she so desperately wanna be kissed by a girl." The entire room fell silent. Nobody but Yelena knew what to say or do. The younger Black Widow laughed loudly at the fact that Wanda called not only you out but also all of her fellow Avengers that had a crush on you. You were glad that the younger Widow reacted because you did not handle that awkward silence well. "So who is it gonna be?" This time it was Natasha who asked and that shocked you deeply. You did not expect the redhead to ask this. 

Every woman in the living room looked at you intently. You felt the pressure of deciding right there and then.  "Each one of you need to give me a good reason why you should be the one." You said not expecting anyone to give you an actually answer. Kate was the first one who stumbled out her answer. "I’m the world greatest female archer." Brunnhilde shrugged before she told you she’s King of New Asgard and can treat you like a queen that you are. Carol Danvers offered you to fly with her. Sharon only gaped like a fish since she didn’t know what to say. Maria offered a high security secret and Natasha threatened not to kill you. Yelena snorted, "Dear sister we all know you are not a killer anymore so you need a better reason than that to be kissed by your crush."

The shock they all gave you sobered you a bit up. You actually didn’t care who kissed you that night, you only wanted a kiss by a cute girl and now almost all Avengers offered you to kiss them. "Whoever finds Y/N at midnight gets to kiss them!" Wanda announced to everyone since she saw you struggle with choosing someone. 

You tried to find the perfect spot to hide, a spot where it's not too easy but also not too hard to get found so you ended up on the rooftop. The harsh cold wind blows from time to time and you wished you brought a jacket.

Time flew by fast and it soon turned into 11:59PM. The second you thought of giving up and find yourself an Avenger to kiss, a hand came out of nowhere to cover up your mouth. Their other, warm hand covered your eyes. You got the message of keeping your eyes closed. 

The woman behind you hesitantly lowered her hand from your mouth. "I’ll keep my eyes closed but please just kiss me already." You begged her. In the background you heard the other mostly male Avengers counting down from 10. Anxiety and anticipation filled you like nothing else in your life. And you only realized that she removed her hand from your eyes when you felt her soft lips on yours. All the yelling and fireworks in the background become numb. The only focus were the lips from the woman in front of your. You two kissed for a solid few minutes but you didn’t dare to open your eyes. The second that you did, the lovely girl that you kissed wasn’t even in front of you anymore. 

You stood there stunned with your fingers ghosting over your lips when Wanda came up on the rooftop to tease you but changed her mind the second she saw the look on your face. "I-I.. I didn’t even get to know who she was." One kiss was all it took to crave more. One kiss and you were a goner for the mystery women. 

Wanda stayed with you for a couple of minutes before she excused herself to find Vision. You needed another 5-10 minutes to calm down and face every Avenger downstairs. When you walked back into the living room the boys sheered and wished you a happy new year. Of course you wished everyone a hoppy new year back.

In your head, you told yourself you can face the girls but when you hear Kate giggle at something Clint said, all your confidence vanished. Right the second afterwards Yelena came back with a bottle of Vodka. She saw you and smiled devilishly. "Y/N you’re back! Who did you get to kiss??"

"And more important how was the kiss?" Tony butted into the conversation. "It could have been only good with how much time she took before coming back." Natasha said with a look in your direction before she took the straw in her mouth and took a sip of the smoothie she somehow got in the time you were gone. [You found the move incredibly hot and imagined her kissing you.]

Heat rushed to your cheeks fast. You didn't think about how red faced you actually were since that would've added even more embarrassment. "I don’t kiss and tell." You hoped your answer would end this conversation and it did for a while. Maria, out of all came to you 15-20 minutes later to directly ask you who you kissed. The information was strictly needed to keep up the work environment the way it always was, those were her words. 

You didn’t tell Maria anything but you reassured her that nothing would interfere the work environment since you won’t be visiting the Compound often anyways. After the short conversation with Maria you felt exhausted and wanted to go home. Wanda was nowhere to be found which got you super frustrated. How could she leave you alone with all the other people you barely knew? In your rushed state to find Wanda, you did not see Natasha in your view. The Widow was about to curse the person with ugly words when she saw it was you crashing into her. "Oh god. I’m so sorry! I was looking for Wanda and must have not realized where I was going." You apologized. 

Natasha nodded at your apology and told you that Wanda had gone with Vision to his room. Since you looked into Natasha’s beautiful green eyes you have not heard a single word she said. You were just too busy being mesmerized by the beauty of her eyes. Oh how you wished that the new year’s countdown was right there and then. The other women must have said something else you hadn’t heard since suddenly the back of her hand is on your forehead. "I uhh what?" You stammered out. "I asked if you were feeling alright?" NO you wanted to say. You weren’t alright ever since the kiss happened. But how could you tell THE BLACK WIDOW that? Especially with not knowing which whom the kiss was. 

Instead you blamed it on the drinks. "I guess the alcohol is taking a toll on me." Natasha teared her eyes away. She guessed that it wasn’t the whole truth but she had no right to ask you further. "I could take you to Wanda’s room?" You could’t seem to find words to answer so you just nodded. 

As soon as Natasha lead you to Wanda's room, she left you alone and you threw yourself onto the bed. Your brain swirled with thoughts of the kiss with the unknown woman. It soon turned into the vision of Natasha and you kissing. At that point you knew you would not get any sleep. So you got up, took a blanket and found the way upstairs to the rooftop. To your surprise Natasha sat there on a chair. She seemed to be in deep thought but still heard you coming. 

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked you almost whispering. "Did you ever overthought things right before falling asleep?" You asked but didn't wait for an answer. "I can't stop thinking about tonight which is rare since I usually just make something up to force other thoughts out but it feels as if someone controls me.. controls my thoughts."

She hummed at your words. "Do you think Wanda has something to do with that?" Natasha finally looked at you or rather stared in your eyes. "She wouldn't do that to me, right?" You questioned yourself and Wanda. "I’ve seen her do crazier things for something she had good intentions for." You let out a deep sigh. If Wanda really manipulated your thoughts then what motive had she? "I can’t think of why she would do it, that means if she actually has something to do with this."

Natasha smiled at you. She found it cute that even though you questioned and kinda doubted Wanda, you still defended the witch. But then her whole persona changed. "I can’t help you since I don’t know what’s going on in your head." She shrugged, trying so hard not to show more emotions. The Widow was unsure about how she felt about you and the tiny feelings she already had in that moment didn’t help her at all. She stood up and walked towards you. She was super intimidating and her proximity made your heart race extremely fast. Somehow she was hovering over you with her tiny frame. One look at her lips and you were a goner. You craved to taste her lips, craved to feel her lips against yours, you wanted her to be as close as possible.

Natasha opened her mouth but whatever the widow was about to say it died in her throat. She heard and saw the younger widow with her friend Kate coming and took a step backwards. You sensed that the woman in front of you cared a lot about what Yelena thought or she just didn’t want to be seen more vulnerable. You glanced at Yelena who had her eyebrow raised at her older sister. When you looked back at Natasha an extremely strong desire pilled inside of you. You honestly had no idea what came over you when you grabbed Natasha’s jacket collar and pulled her into a short kiss. The second you released your hands from her jacket you ran away. That left Natasha alone with Yelena and Kate who both looked as shocked as the older woman. 

The kiss confirmed two things for you. Firstly, the mystery woman who kissed you was Natasha . Secondly, you just fell in love with the Black Widow and couldn’t stop smiling even through your panicked state.

[yn-barnes]

Exploring Explosions ~

Bucky x reader

: ⚠️ warnings mentions of Sharon, coma, memory loss, and brain stuff ⚠️ :

Summary - While on a mission, something happens to bucky while on the journey to recover, he fines something he wants more than life itself.

(I know I used this before, but look at him)

(And ik these and short and kinda move fast but other wise imma dragggg this out and ain't noone wants that! 😭)

Part 1

Your heals clicked and clacked as you make your way to the living room, as you entered the room Steve stood up and gave you a look of concern look then sat down when he didn't see any distress on your face. You sat in the armchair, looking at your papers, biting your lip, making sure there was nothing else you could do at this moment.

"Good news first.. bucky should make a full recovery and there's no long term damage, the rush surrounding his face will die done duo to the super serum and cream we can provide him-" you were about to get to the not so good news when a irritated voice pipes up from the back. Sharon. "Can you get on with it, like we get it you 'saved him' just tell me what's wrong with him" She states as everyone just stares at her in disbelief, you blink a few times before ignoring her statement completely.

"As I was saying, the issue is the substance sprayed in Mr Barnes' face - well, uhh - to put it simply, it would affect how and what the brain releases chemically. So far, his brain has produced more dopamine, and we have a fair guess that it could also produce more oxytocin at an alarming rate."

You got some nods of understanding, some blank faces, and some straight out confused about what's going on, you were about to explain more but you got a notification that you were needing back at medical. Excusing yourself you quickly left the room and made your way down the hall to the medical ward and started praying on the way that no one died, you cursed under your breath for being stylish and wearing your heels and not your crocs or boots.

You slip through the Automatic sliding doors and went to Barnes door scanning your card and finger, the door opened and you quickly went inside locking it behind you, confused as to why you were notified that his vitals changed drastically becuase they looked normal. Then it hit you, They shouldn't be this normal. You unhooked, then sleeping soldier and grabbed the front of his bed, pulling him to the door, unlocking it and dragging it out, yelling for help, and to get the MRI machine ready. Once he's in the machine and getting scanned, you whip out your phone to inform cap that his best friend might be a lot worse than thought to be.

Cap entered just when James was being moved from the room and was being put back. He looked for you and saw you at the desk looking puzzled by his results. Before you could even speak, he knew you would have some big words and to give it to him so simply that even thor would understand.

"The stuff he was sprayed with was so old that it took time kicking in, and now it has the body got so almost stressed it thought its best way to survive was to just go black." You said with a straight face, and Steve understood but also knew you left parts out you couldnt dumb down. "Steve.. if worse comes to worse, he could be in a coma for years.. and the best outcome is memory loss, " which hung in the air for quite some time before he just started nodding and walking around, pacing back and forth. He sat on the ground and just looked shocked and in denial.

@unaxv @sapphirebarnes

(Idk if it worked)

[radiantdanvers]

You're camera roll if you're dating Sharon Carter

[geminigirl0298]

ALL THE KINGS' MEN

Relationship: Dark!Bucky x Reader, King!Loki x Reader

Summary: The Odinson Kings take over Midgard, appointing commanders to help them colonize the entire planet. Commander Barnes finds you during a raid of untouched lands and claims you as his own. You endure months of torture and abuse at the metal hand of the cruel man, and are set to suffer even more when he sends you to King Loki to break you further. Upon meeting the feared man, you find that looks can be deceiving, and rumors are not always what they seem.

A/N: Thank you to my editor @green-mischief-managed for helping me with this fic! Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+, very NSFW. Fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), handjobs, blood and gore, torture, rape, knives, death, mutilation, choking, burning, breeding kink, forced pregnancy, vaginal sex, mentions of suicide. This fic deals with dark themes such as rape, abuse and torture. If these themes make you uncomfortable, please do not read!

Previous Chapter Masterlist

CHAPTER 16

         Lorelai.  The name rattled around in your head, pinging off your skull as you tried to discern the reason for her hostility.

         Loki’s new little friend, she said.  What was that supposed to mean?  How did she even know who you were?  And why was she looking at you like something on the bottom of her shoe?

         It irritated you, to be honest.  Derision filled yourself at her treatment, and you opened your mouth to give her a fitting reply, “I’m-”

         “Flower.”  All the tension left your body the minute you heard his voice.  His hand touched your lower back, then Loki appeared beside you.  You wrapped both your arms around his bicep and leaned into him. “Lorelai.”  

          “Loki,” she purred.  Her eyes flickered down to where you held onto his arm.  “I see you’ve brought a friend.”  

          Sharon appeared shortly after, hands folded across her chest as she took in the scene before her.  She paused a little at your close embrace with the king.  “Hey,” she whispered in your ear.  “The fuck is that?”

          “No idea.”  If Loki heard you, he did not let on.  Instead, he addressed the woman before him with a steady tone.

          “Is there a problem here?”  The look on his face made it clear this Lorelai woman had caused many, many problems in the past.  

          “None,” she told him, lifting a slender hand to caress his shoulder.  “Now that you’re here, that is.”  You shared a look with Sharon. 

            Clearly, this was the other woman those two girls told you about that night in the harem.  The red hair was a clue, but the familiarity with which she spoke to and touched him was the giveaway.  

           “I’m only here for the summit.”  Loki removed her hand, face still blank.  “I would thank you not to cause any trouble while we’re here.”  Lorelai’s face curled up into a smile.

            “Trouble?” she echoed.  “That’s more your thing, isn’t it, Loki? Though, I suppose we’ve both had our fair share of fun together.” 

            Together. You didn’t like the way she said that word.  

          “That was in the past,” Loki’s voice was curt.  “I’ll not put up with your shenanigans this time.  I’d thank you to take your leave now, as I’ve some important business to attend to.”

             Lorelai did not look at him. Her eyes flickered to you instead, running over your form once more.  Finally, she settled on your eyes.  You stared back without wavering.  She seemed to like that.  

            “You’re probably right.  It’s quite clear there’s to be no more fun between us.”  She smiled- not unkindly, which confused you further- and turned on her heel, then she was retreating down the hall in a flurry of green skirts.

              “Well,” said Sharon, breaking what was about to be an uncomfortable silence, “that was eventful.” She turned to the king then, fixing him with a cool stare.  “I hear you have something to say to me.”  

ooOOoo

          Sharon Carter was a no-nonsense woman. Loki noticed that the minute he saw her approach you.  He watched how she glared at Lorelai, whom she did not know, simply because the woman was a nuisance to you.  He watched her link her arm in yours and lead the way to the library he intended to use for their chat — though he was unsure how she knew which one — and trailed behind, feeling quite out of sorts.   

          He had grown used to you always wanting to be by his side.  It was silly, he chided himself.  Sharon was your friend.  He was your…What were you?  Your friend for sure, but something more.  Something softer, sweeter; something that—

          “I’ve been told you want to speak to me.”  Sharon’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.  They were in the library now, with Sharon leaning against the table. You stood awkwardly between them, eyes darting from one to the other.  “Out with it.”

          You frowned. “Sharon-”

          “No, it’s okay,” Loki assured you.  “It’s fine.”  He turned his attention to Sharon, all five foot eight of blonde hair and reproachful expressions.  “I wish to apologize,” he began, “for the part I’ve played in your suffering. There is nothing I can say or do that will erase what you’ve—”

         “I don’t like you.”  Loki stopped, lips paused at the beginning of the word he never got to say.  “I really, really don’t like you,” Sharon continued, “and I don’t care for your apologies. I don’t care if you feel bad and I don’t want to hear any of your rehearsed lies.  You want something from me.  Spare me the theatrics and just tell me what it is.”

            And for maybe the third time in his life, Loki was at a loss for words. He had an entire speech planned.  Of course, he meant every word.  A younger, lesser version of him might appeal to her emotions to sway her to his side. Valhalla knows he had done it many times before, but not now, not knowing what he knew.

          Luckily for him, you seemed to know exactly what to say.   You glided over to Sharon and took her hands in yours.  “It’s not like that,” you murmured.  “We need your help, Sharon.  Loki thinks that some of the commanders were stealing from Asgard.”

          “Stealing what?” Sharon wanted to know.

           “A flower.”

            Chocolate eyes swung to him.  “A flower? And what do you presume they did with this plant, your majesty?”

           “They used it to kill my mother.”  Now, she went silent, and Loki continued.  “That was why I took over Midgard in the first place.  Someone from your realm was able to steal a flower from a heavily guarded place under the watchful eye of Heimdall, and they used it to kill my mother.  After that, I decided humans needed to be put in check.”  His eyes flickered to you;  to your sweet face full of nothing but understanding.  “I was wrong.”

            “Loki just wants to help,” you explained.  “He knows what he did was wrong and he can’t take it back.  He knows this was his fault, but Sharon, things are bad.  The Commanders are afraid of Loki, yes, but they hate him.  That hatred made them kill a goddess!”

         “I agree they need to be stopped, but I’m not sure how I can help you.”  Most of the bite had gone out of Sharon’s voice, replaced with an emotion akin to fatigue. Loki concluded the babe she obviously carried was partly the reason and made a mental note to get his healers to check on her before the day’s end.  

         “We need information,” Loki told her.  “Any information.  Did Captain Rogers ever receive any shipments unaccounted for?  Ever see him meeting at weird times with anyone?” Sharon folded her arms in thought.  

         “He was off with James a lot.  If you ask me, I’d say they were secretly in love.”  You and Sharon shared a look before she continued.  “Honestly, I couldn’t tell you where Steve went.  He never brought anything strange into the house, and even if he did, I’d never ask him. I knew better than to go looking.” 

           She stopped speaking.  A flicker of doubt crossed her face. Loki pounced on it immediately.  “What? You’ve just remembered something.  What is it?”

          “Loki.”  The admonishment came from you.  “Give her a chance.  Sharon,” you grabbed her hands again, “is there something you remember?  Anything you can tell us will be of help.”

          “There’s a room back home he never let me in.  I wasn’t supposed to see it, since it was hidden.”  Loki lifted a brow. 

          “Hidden?  Hidden how?”

           Sharon’s eyes roamed the room.  They stopped on an oak bookshelf spanning the entirety of the opposite wall.  “There’s a shelf in his study. Full of books he never reads.  One day, I was dusting the books and pulled a few out.  I can’t be sure which one did it, but there was a click, and the shelf moved out of the way.”

          “What happened next, Miss Carter?”

            She shrugged. “Nothing.  Steve came back and I told him I found it and he made me promise not to go back. He put a camera in and locked the door to the study.  I figured it was more trouble than it was worth.  We did move into an old SHIELD base that was refurbished.  It wasn’t uncommon to have hidden rooms.”

           “Did you get a peek inside?” Loki asked, though he knew the answer before Sharon shook her head.  “These flowers are magic. They can live even after they’ve been plucked. If he was keeping them in there—”

           “I’m not going back into that house,” Sharon interjected.  “I’m not going back. Especially not with James there.”

           “James.”  Loki stiffened.  “James is on earth?”  He cursed under his breath. It was a terrible idea to speak to Sharon before informing you of his conversation with Fandral.  “Loki, you told me he was being sent around the realms.  How did he get back on Earth?”

          “I’ve no idea,” he answered you.  “Fandral only just informed me of this.  I was going to tell you after we finished here.”  He looked at Sharon.  “You do not have to return to Earth.  Starting today, you are officially under the crown’s protection. You can stay here or return to the palace with us when it is time to do so. Your unborn babe shares the same protection.”  

          “Who killed his father?”  Sharon asked suddenly.  “Was it an accident?  I can’t imagine it was.”  Loki’s silence was enough.  “Of course”

           “To be fair, the intent wasn’t to kill him.”

            Sharon gave him a look.  “What was the intent?”

             “Questioning,” Loki replied.  “Maybe a little torture.  Can’t always tell how these things will go.”  At his admission, he swore the woman almost smiled. The corners of her lips twitched up a bit before she pulled them back into a neutral expression.

            “Well, this has been an enlightening conversation.  I think it’s time for me to head to bed.  This little one,” she rubbed her stomach, “always has me beat these days.”

            “Do you want me to walk you to your room?” you offered.  “Or stay with you?”

              “No, I think you both have things to talk about.”  No explanation was needed to discern what she meant.  “I really need some rest.”  She made her way to the door, stopping when she was nearly out in the hall.  “Your majesty, I’ve been told you’re quite taken with my friend.  You’re both adults, so I can’t tell you what to do, but if you hurt her, I will hurt you.”  

           Loki smirked at that.  The fire he received from the blonde woman was the first thing that led him to believe a cordial partnership was on the horizon.  Her snarkiness was not unwelcome, and he might have cracked a smile had you not approached him with worry creasing your face. 

         “James is back?”  Trembling hands reached for him, prompting him to pull you close to his body.  “Loki, James is back. What are we going to do?”

          “You are not going to do anything. He cannot touch you from Earth.”  Loki rubbed his hands in a soothing pattern, up and down your arms until your shaking stopped and your forehead rested against his collarbone. 

         “He’s going to be so angry,” you whispered.  Your breath tickled the base of his throat as you spoke.  The warmth raised goosebumps on his flesh, making his eyes roll back at the proximity of your mouth to his body.  You had such pretty lips. “He’s always so mad at me.” 

         Loki cleared his throat.  He shoved his pervasive thoughts to the back of his mind and cupped the back of your head.  “He will not lay a hand on you. This I have promised you before, and I promise it to you now.”  You looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.  “James cannot make it to Asgard on his own.  Heimdall will see him coming if he tries, and he’ll be arrested at the bridge.  He will not hurt you again.”

           A tear fell from your eye.  Loki brushed it away with a gentle stroke, following it with two more.  He held your face and kissed your forehead, allowing you to cry into his brand-new tunic.  It was the first time you ever let him comfort you through your tears, and he was struck by just how much you had come to consider him.  In many ways, you were not just the woman who flinched at a touch and walked around as though in a trance. You were becoming much more, and Loki felt glad that he seemed to have contributed to that in some way.

          “Loki?” 

           “Yes, flower?”

          You sniffled. “Who is Lorelai?”  Ah.  “An old girlfriend?”  He almost laughed at the mundane word.  

         Loki did not have girlfriends or boyfriends.  He had lovers, men and women and all in between with whom he shared a mutual attraction and partook in pleasures of the flesh.  There were often no real feelings on his part.  He would ride out whatever time he spent with them until they wanted more, which he could not give, or they moved on to another. And he never once regretted letting them go.  His heart could never seem to get involved. 

       That was until he met you.

       “Lady Lorelai is an old lover of mine,” he told you.  “Troublesome, meddlesome, and as good a liar as myself. Except, she takes it too far.”

         Your brow creased with fret. “She knows who I am, Loki.  She knows who I am and I’ve never met her before.”

           “Lorelai likes to keep tabs on me. She is as proud as she is envious, and I can admit now that getting involved with her was a mistake.”  He took your hand and led you over to lean against the desk.  “You’ve nothing to worry about.  Lorelai may think she is a threat, but she has long fallen out of favour with me.  And she does not have the use of her gifts anymore.”

         “Gifts?” you repeated. “What gifts?”

          Loki lifted your hand to his chest.  He held it there, smoothing his thumb over your well-nourished skin.  “Lorelai has the ability to bend men to her will.  She is able to do so with just her voice.  Of course, it depends on the will of the man.  Lesser wills are easily broken. Stronger ones, not so much.”

          “And I suppose you were a much harder conquest?”  You looked up at him from beneath your lashes, eyes filled with a hint of teasing.  

          “I’m immune to most magic, being one of the most advanced sorcerers across the realm.”  He could not help but puff out his chest a bit.  “Lorelai’s was still tricky to navigate. After we ended things, she began stirring up trouble.  Made an inordinate amount of men do her bidding. I am entirely sure she could have caused an uprising if she wanted.”

          Alarm crossed your face then, making Loki regret his words.  “Do not be worried,” he assured you.  “Lorelai was stopped. My mother made a charm bracelet that she is forced to wear by order of the king. It dampens her magic so she cannot use it on people even if she tried.”

          “And she really can’t use it?”  The fingers of your hand, which he had not let go, were now intertwined with his.  He wondered if you even noticed.  “She really agreed to wear it?”

          Loki chuckled.  “It was that or a rather unbecoming muzzle that prevented her from speaking at all.  Vanity is as vanity does. At least the bracelet looks rich enough.”  His eyes dipped to your hands- fingers woven together as though they were the threads of life themselves.  Loki never cared much for silly displays of affection before. Now, he found himself wondering if the spaces between his fingers were crafted specifically for yours to fit. 

           “You must be tired from the journey,” he said.  “Would you like to rest before the dinner?  I can come fetch you later.”  He moved your hands to your sides- still connected- and began leading you out the door.  “I took the liberty of getting us adjoining rooms.  Please tell me if it was too presumptuous.  I just thought you would feel safer with me nearby.”

          “No, that’s fine,” you said, and he could tell by your smile he had made the right choice.  “What time is the dinner?”  

           “I will send someone to fetch you an hour or so before.  Our rooms are just down here.  Come.”

 ooOOoo

          As it turned out, Loki was right. The rest did you a world of good.  You weren’t sure how long you slept, but by the time a servant came in to wake you and help get you ready, it was nearly dark outside.

          Night descended quite differently on Asgard.  On Earth, the sun would set into a brief dusky grey before the darkness actually fell.  Here, the sky seemed to come alive.  The disappearance of the sun heralded hues of purples and blues that seemed to reflect the ocean below.  The black night fell like a blanket, dotted with stars so bright you often had to look away before your eyes began to burn.  It was truly the most beautiful place you had ever seen.

          “Lady Dee?”  The maidservant’s voice drew your attention away from the window.  “You have a visitor.  The king.”  You smiled. 

          “He can come in.  I’m nearly finished.  You can go have your supper now.”  She curtsied before you just as Loki walked in, dressed to the nines in formal garb.  His trademark smirk was on his face. 

           “Flower.”

            “Loki.”

            His eyes roamed over you from head to toe.  You were, of course, wearing one of the many new dresses he’d sent you, this one a simple gold, made of silk held up by delicate chain straps with a cowl neck.  The rest of the dress hung off your body like a waterfall, showing off just enough of your newly filled-out figure. “You look wonderful.  Something is missing, though.  Would you turn around?”

         The maidservant was long gone, the door closed to give the two of you some privacy.  Loki handed you a silver-backed mirror to hold to keep your neck in focus.  In his other hand, the necklace from earlier appeared.  He approached you from behind, so close you could feel the ends of his tunic poking into your back.

        “Lift your hair for me, darling.”  You almost moaned when you felt his breath on your neck.  He fastened the necklace with practiced perfection, and you were pleased to find it blended quite well with the dress you chose.  It sat nestled above the neckline, adding an extra air of refinement to the plain dress.  “Perfect.”

          “It’s lovely.”  Loki moved your hair back in place as you admired the jewelry.  As he did so, you noticed the bracelet you bought him secured on his wrist.  “Hey,” you caught at his arm, “you’re wearing it.”

           “I told you I would.”  He let his hand rest on your bare shoulder.  “Would you look at that,” he mused.  “They match.”

           They really did.  The emerald eyes of the golden serpents glistened in the light as though alive, and they were the exact same shade as the teardrop emerald in your piece.  “Did you do this on purpose? The necklace?”  

         Your eyes met in the mirror and he grinned.  “Maybe.”  He moved some hair away from your ear, lips encroaching on the space near your lobe.  “Or maybe, I just wanted to see my colours on you.”

        Oh fuck.  Loki had flirted with you before, but it was never as intimate as this.  His voice had never before dropped this low, nor did his eyes appear so heavy.  And his thumb had certainly never run across the skin of your shoulder and up the side of your neck as it was doing now.

         “We don’t have to attend the dinner,” he told you.  “I can always have it brought here.  It’s just a formality anyway.”

         You thought for only a second.  “You can do that?”  

          “I’m the king,” he reminded you.  “I can do most anything I want.”

           The mirror vanished from your hand.  Loki released your shoulder, opting to take your hand and give you a little spin.  You giggled as he twirled you and then pulled you against him.  Your hands went around his neck to steady yourself while his rested on your waist.

         “What do you say?” he asked.  “Do you wish to endure a boring dinner, or do you want to stay here with me?”

          “I—”

          A knock on the door interrupted your acceptance of his proposal.  The annoyance on his face as he let you go to answer the door no doubt mirrored your own. Fandral was standing at the door when it opened.  He gave you a cheeky smile before addressing the king.

         “Loki,” he greeted in that grand way of his.  “The Lady Sharon has agreed to your plan.  She thinks it best to go at once, with your approval, of course.”

         You had joined Loki at the door now.  While you weren’t sure what plan they referred to, you could tell any plans you had for the evening were now fully squashed.  “What’s going on?  What plan?”

         “I wish to search the hidden room in Rogers’ house. I sent word to Lady Sharon while you were asleep.  In honesty, I had not expected her to agree so quickly.”

         “Oh.”  That was the only word you could seem to get out in response.  “Are you going?”  You didn’t want him to go. As silly as it sounded- because you knew he could protect himself- you were worried for his safety if he were to go to Earth. 

          Loki shook his head.  “I’m not going. I’m sending a few men so as not to arouse suspicion.  They’ll be in and out and none will be the wiser, but I must brief them, meaning-” 

          “You’ll be late for dinner.”  It was much easier to say this than make Fandral privy to your real plans.  “It’s okay.  If there is something in that room that can connect them to your mother, it’s better to do it now.”  You placed your hands on Loki’s arm.  “Go on ahead. I suppose I’ll go to the dinner for the time being.”

         “I’ll be back,” Loki promised. He brought your hand to his lips for a kiss— the second that day alone— and you could not help but wonder when he would make advances towards another type of kiss.  “I’ll see you soon.  

ooOOoo

             Dinner was a fantastic affair.  Lords and ladies sat around an enormous table filled with more food than you had ever seen, dressed in the finest jewels and clothes.  Laughter filled the hall and conversation flowed.  At one point, a friendly fight broke out: two lords drunk off mead, both wanting to show off their newly crafted swords. And yet still, you were bored out of your mind

            There was a goblet of Asgardian ale in your left hand.  One of the servants kept refilling it at intervals.  The taste did not particularly delight you, but you sipped it to give yourself something to do.  At first, you were intent on waiting for Loki to return, but three courses and five ales later, you noticed the meeting would not soon end. 

           Either way, you were finished here.  You pushed your chair back and exited the dining room, goblet still clutched in hand.  A kind servant topped you up on your way out.  You thanked him with a smile and began the long walk to your room.  Maybe, if you were lucky, you would still be awake long enough for Loki to return.  You could both spend whatever was left of the night talking until you fell asleep like you did at the palace. 

         “Lady Dee,” purred a familiar voice. You paused, squinting ahead to see who it was.  Lorelai appeared before you in a green dress with her red hair done up in an exquisite bun.  You soured a bit upon seeing Loki’s colour draped all over her.  “I thought that was you.”

         “‘Tis me.”  You noted then, to your embarrassment, that your ‘s’ was a bit slurred. 

          “Why do you hold your head in that manner?” Lorelai enquired.  You did find her to be a little askew.  Actually, your entire field of vision was off-kilter, and you straightened your head with a flush of your cheeks.  “Gotten into the ale, I see.”

           You placed the cup at your side.  “I’ve had alcohol before.”

            “Not Asgardian alcohol, I’m sure.  This packs quite a punch.  Nothing on Earth can compare to it, although I suppose you might have realized Midgardian spirits have little to no effect on you.”

           In truth, you just thought you had an abnormally high tolerance. The vodka back home would burn your throat, but that was as far as it went.  “Did you need something from me?”

          “I wanted to apologize.”  She sounded so sincere you almost believed her.  “By now, you’ve heard that Loki and I were involved.  He was special to me, and it was very hard for me to let him go.  Sometimes, I get a bit in my head when I find out he’s seeing someone new.”  She paused to give you a look.  “You are seeing each other, aren’t you?”

           Your answer did not come soon enough, and she noticed your hesitancy.  It delighted her, you could tell, evident by the little quirk of her eyebrows.  “Seems I was wrong-”

           “We’re taking things slow,” you blurted.  “Loki and I.”  Lorelai laughed. 

            “Slow?  Loki does not take things slow.  He was taking me over the desk of his study daily within the first week of us meeting.”  She let out a dreamy sigh, making your stomach churn.  It also could have been the ale, but you felt queasy either way.  “He’s a very good lover.  Once, he tied me up and—”

           “I do not wish to hear of your past with Loki.  Some things should be kept private.”

           “Well, privacy isn’t always Loki’s strong suit.  In time, you’ll come to find he doesn’t mind an audience.”  She looked you up and down.  “Or maybe, you won’t. Since you’re taking things slow.”

            You rolled your eyes. Lorelai was a bitch, and you didn’t need to stand here and take this.  “I’m leaving. Loki’s waiting for me.”

            “Is he?  I just came from the library and heard him in a meeting.  Sounds like he has more important things on his mind.”  She ended her statement with a frown so sad you couldn’t tell if she was faking it.  “Why don’t you come back to the dinner with me?  I’m sure many gentlemen would love the pleasure of your company.”

          “I don’t want them.  I want Loki.”  Petulance abounded in your voice. You were aware you sounded like a spoiled child, but you could not care.  

          Lorelai hummed. “My dear,” her hands came to rest on your arms, “I’ve already told you Loki is in a meeting. He’s busy!  Why would you want to bother him?”  She let her hands wander to the end of your hair.  “He doesn’t like to be bothered.”

          “But he won’t mind,” you protested.  “He never minds me.”  At least, he never had before. 

           “This is a beautiful necklace,” she complimented.  Her slim fingers traced the chain around your neck.  “Did Loki give it to you?  He does have a thing for giving his women jewelry.”  She lifted her wrist to show you the golden bracelet dotted with rubies.  “He gave this to me.  Gorgeous, isn’t it?”

          You pushed her hands off of you.  The goblet in your hand fell to the floor, splattering drink all over your dress.  “You’re lying!  Loki’s mother put that on you because of your powers.  It’s not the same.”  Lorelai smirked. 

           “Loki’s mother enchanted the bracelet.  I already had it, because it was a gift from him.”  She twisted her hand in the air to show off the piece.  “I love rubies. He knows me so well.”

           “I’m leaving,” you told her.  “I don’t believe any of your lies.”  

              “But you believe Loki’s so easily,” she countered.  “I can’t blame you. He is the God of them, after all, and he tells them so well.  Who can blame a sweet girl like you for falling for him?”

           The way she spoke to you made your blood boil. It was as though you were a child with no brain of your own and all the naivety in the world. This woman- so proper and prim- had no idea the terrors your faced. She didn’t know of your life, or that you knew well the nature of men probably even better than her. 

          “I must go,” you announced.  “Loki and I have plans.”  You pushed past her without a second thought.

          “Wait!”  She grabbed your hand, grip strong like a vice.

          “Let go of me!”

           “Has he kissed you, at least?”  Her fingernails dug into your skin, leaving deep crescents of pain in their wake.  “Has he?”  Her lip curled, nostrils flaring into the ugliest look of contempt.  “Has he pressed those liar lips up against yours—”

          “Fuck you!”  You wrenched your hand from her grasp and ran.

ooOOoo

             Sometimes, Loki hated being the king.  He remembered the times when he was a young prince, when he coveted the throne and envied his brother’s place in line for it. He recalled all the mischief he made to get the crown.  Now that he had it, he often had vivid fantasies of stomping it under his foot.

           The crown meant power. The crown meant he and his brother were untouchable, but also in the most precarious position of their lives. Everyone wanted their favour or heads — to serve the throne or capture it for themselves. The crown was as dangerous as it was secure, but right now, all he cared about was that it had ruined his plans with you. 

         It took longer than usual to get the men briefed.  They had never been in the house before, so he had to start by mapping the area and the building.  Sharon’s intel was of good use, and he only wished he could wake her for more.  Yet, he was loathe to bother her in her condition.  Now that the meeting was over, he only wanted to see you.  

         So it was just his luck that he happened to see you walking up the hall just as he was coming down.  “Flower.”  You did not answer him.  In fact, you looked rather destroyed. 

          Long tears cut a path down your face, falling from red eyes all the way to a trembling mouth.  Your hands were clasped tightly together at your waist, and he could see a light sheen of sweat on your skin.  “Flower? Whatever is the matter?”  He reached out to you. You pulled away. 

          “I’m tired,” you said.  “I want to sleep.”  Your voice cracked with emotion as you told the lies he so easily sussed out. 

           “I do not think that is true.”  He spoke as though tending to a wounded child.  “You’re upset. Please tell me what happened.”  He spied it then— five long scratches running down your arm.  “What is this?” He gestured to the angry redness of your skin.  “Who did this?” 

           Your eyes dipped to your hand as though noticing the marks for the first time. “I ran into Lorelai—”

            “Lorelai.”  Fury burned in his chest.  He reached out to take your hand, and this time you did not stop him.  “I knew she was jealous, but I did not think she would attack you-”

           “Why won’t you kiss me?” you cried.

           Loki was so shocked he released your hand.  “What?”

           You threw your hands up. “Why won’t you kiss me?  Lorelai says you used to be all over her all the time.  She said you were always having sex, and you’re not one to take things slow.  I thought you liked me!”

          “I do!” Loki replied in a hushed tone.  “I do like you, flower. Why was Lorelai even speaking to you about me in the first place?  I told you she lies.”

          “But you said you were together!”  You wagged a finger at him, and it was then he smelled the ale on you. “You said that! So I know she’s not lying.  She also said you gave her jewelry, too, just like you did to all your women.”  You touched the necklace you wore.  “Is that what this is? A habit?”

          Never in his life had he wanted to strike a woman the way he wanted to smack Lorelai right now.  He knew he should have left her in that dungeon.  Alas, he was young, and that youth led him to convince his father to release her under condition.  She was going straight back as soon as he found her.

           “Darling, you need to tell me exactly what Lorelai said. She’s very good at twisting words and situations-”

           “Oh!” Anger flared on your face.  “And I’m just some silly little girl who didn’t know she was even Asgardian, so obviously I’d fall for it.”

          Loki gaped.  “That’s not-”

        “It’s because of James, isn’t it?” you asked, and his eyes widened at the accusation. “You don’t want to kiss me because of him.  You think I’m spoiled!  Rotten and raped and abused and dirty-” You stopped suddenly, back going rigid.

          “Flower?”  He was too afraid to touch you.  Instead, he let his hand hover near you in case you felt the need to take hold of it.  “Flower, are you okay?”

            In response, you hunched forward and vomited all over his shoes.

ooOOoo

           You had never been this humiliated.  Not even through James’ abuse, through him laughing at your pain and suffering, did you ever feel this level of mortification.  If you had to guess why, you’d say it was because you’d done it to yourself.  You drank the ale, you allowed yourself to be tricked by Lorelai and you threw up all over Loki’s shoes.

         To his credit, Loki did not flinch once.  He simply kicked off his now ruined shoes and led you barefoot back to your adjoined rooms.  From there, he instructed you to take a bath while he got some servants to clean up the mess you made. The bath did help some, but the hot, lavender-scented water was not enough to wash away the shame you felt.  By the time you were finished, you only wanted to sleep and pretend this night never happened. 

          Loki was waiting for you when you were done.  You stepped out in your sleeping robe to find him placing a tray near your bedside table.  He turned over his shoulder to look at you.  “Come.”

          You cast your red eyes down as you approached the bed.  Loki pulled back the covers without a word, allowing you to enter.  He then tucked them around you and took a seat at your side.  “Drink this,” he handed you a glass with a clear, fizzy liquid.  “It will help prevent any headaches and further nausea.  Drink it all.”

          While you drank, he took ahold of your hand.  He let his fingers hover over the marks inflicted by Lorelai, and one by one, they disappeared. It was like pulling a blanket over the lines, completely obscuring them from view until only unblemished skin remained.  “Thank you.”

          “You’re welcome.”  He took the empty glass from you.  “Rest your head.  Gentle now.”  He ran the back of his hand over your check, moving it all the way up until his palm rested on your head.  “I’m sorry I was late to the dinner.  I wish I could have prevented Lorelai from happening upon you.”  

           “It’s not your fault,” you whispered.  “I should’ve never listened to her.  I was wrong.”  You wiped a tear from your eye.  

             “Yes you were,” Loki agreed, much to your surprise.  “You were wrong when you said that I have any sort of avulsion towards you due to the sufferings you have endured.  The reason I am often careful with you, the reason I do not take liberties, is not because I find you repulsive. Rather, I want to ensure I do not cross any of your boundaries.  The speed at which I am courting you is not for lack of wanting.”

          “I never should’ve said that,” you told him, still reeling from his admission that he was, in fact, courting you.  “I was just angry.  Lorelai got into my head.”

           “As she is wont to do,” Loki finished.  “I will deal with her at a later time. Yes, I got her the bracelet.  Lorelai likes expensive things, and I often oblige to my lovers’ wants.  You have to remember this was a very long time ago.  My feelings for Lorelai were nothing but lust. Everyone I got involved with knew that.  We haven’t even spoken since we ended all those years ago.”

           “I understand.”

            Loki leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead. You could not even muster up the annoyance that it was, once again, not your lips.  “Do not ever think less of yourself because of what was done to you. It was not your fault. James will be dealt with as soon as possible and as safely as possible. All of my efforts right now are diverted toward bringing him to justice without getting you more involved than you already are. Have some patience with me, and you will soon see that”.

           You nodded, unable to form any words after the complete spectacle you had made of yourself.  

            “And one more thing,” Loki said.  He lowered his face to yours, so close your noses touched.  “If you wanted me to kiss you, all you had to do was say so.”  

        And with that, he pressed his lips to yours.  

Chapter 17

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[clarkesyd]

patterns by @agentxthirteen

It’s not that she can forgive him for what he did. He hurt too many people. He destroyed too much. She knows he might do it again.

But he’s also the first person to apologize to her and mean it.

[literaryavenger]

I love you and I hate it

Summary: Bucky's your best friend, but you're in love with him. Now that he has a girlfriend, will you be able to get a handle on your feelings?

Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: Bucky being a bit of an ass. Reader being dramatic. Angst. Language maybe. Minimal use of Y/N. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.7K

A/N: this is a two part because otherwise it was too long. Hope you like it! also, it's 4:30am and I can't help myself lol.

Masterlist

Loving your best friend is not something anyone ever plans.

Getting those kinds of feelings for the person closest to you changes the way you look at them, the way you interact and essentially your relationship with them, making everything unnecessarily complicated.

At least that’s how you see it.

You definitely didn't think something like that could ever happen to you. But to be fair, you also never thought Bucky Barnes would ever become your best friend at the compound.

When you first arrived as the newest avengers recruit the brooding supersoldier was not your biggest fan. Things didn’t start on the best note for you two.

- 2 years ago -

Steve was showing you around the compound and introducing you to people and team members as you met them. You arrived at the common room where Bucky and Sam were watching Tv.

"Hey guys. This is Y/N, the new recruit I told you about," Steve introduced you "this is Sam." he said to you as Sam got up from the couch putting out his hand.

"Nice to meet you." he said.

"You too," you said, shaking his hand "it’s so exciting to be here and meet all of you. You are all such remarkable people."

"Oh, complimenting me? I like you already." Sam said chuckling.

"Of course you do." Steve said, rolling his eyes with a smile, then turned to you "and this is Bucky" he said, pointing at the brunette still sitting on the couch.

"Hi Bucky, it’s nice to meet you too." you said, getting closer to him and holding out your hand for him to shake. Bucky, however, just looked at you for a moment before standing up, turning away from you and walking out of the room without saying a word.

"Uh... did I do something wrong?" you asked, very much confused, still looking at the door Bucky just ran out of.

"No, it’s always him." said Sam.

"Sam, don’t." Steve told him, then turned to you again "don’t mind Bucky, he’s not good with new people. It’s nothing personal, he’ll get used to it, don’t worry."

"Right. He’ll get used to me." you said as he gave you an apologetic look "yeah… anyway, let’s finish the tour."

"Sure, bye Sam. See you around, I guess." you told Sam with a smile.

"Yeah, see you guys at dinner." and with that you left to finish the tour of the compound that ultimately ended with your assigned room.

"So this is your room, Natasha has the room on the right and Sam has the one on the left." he pointed at them as he talked and then pointed at the room across from yours "that's Bucky, to his right is Peter and mine is to his left."

"A lot of neighbors, got it."  you said chuckling with Steve.

"Yeah. So I’ll let you get settled and I’ll see you at dinner with the team." he said.

"Yeah, see you later." 

If you were honest with yourself, you were a little disappointed at how meeting Bucky went, you were really looking forward to meeting the super soldier.

While all the other girls were busy crushin on Captain America, you always felt more attracted to Sergeant Barnes.

Something about him just made you curious, and, after all the Winter Soldier stuff came to light, you were one of the few people that saw right away that Bucky was a victim.

You never did understand how people could read all the details of what happened to him and still call him a monster, like it was his fault that he was captured, tortured and made to do things no decent human being would ever do.

In fact, you got in trouble more than one time for fighting when things escalated while you were defending the super soldier from agents that didn’t see it like you.

It’s really a shame that a lot of agents of Shield itself thought so ill of the Sergeant. Maybe that’s why he didn’t like you, maybe he thought you were one of them.

You had to make sure he knew you weren’t.

Having made up your mind, you decided there was no better time like the present. You crossed the hall and knocked on his door, and after a few moments he opened.

"I know, Steve, don-" he interrupted himself the second he laid eyes on you.

"Sorry, not Steve. Clearly. I’m sorry to bother you, Sergeant Barnes, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t have anything against you. I know some agents feel like you should be held accountable for the things you were forced to do, and they’re not really afraid to get vocal about it, but I’m not one of them. I don’t think any of it was your fault. It may not matter much to you, after all you don’t seem to like me very much, but it’s important to me that you know this. You’re kind of my  hero." you finished, a little embarrassed at admitting this to his face. He looked at you for a few moments and, just as you thought he was about to slam the door in your face, he grinned.

"I’m your hero, doll?" he asked, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed in a way that made his biceps look huge and a smirk on his face.

After that you and Bucky became quick friends, spending more and more time together. Missions, training, down time, you were practically attached at the hip.

You were always careful not to let any feelings grow other than friendship and, mostly, it was easy.

There were some times where you somehow ended up flirting, but they were fleeting moments that passed as quickly as they came, and you decided, for your own peace of mind, to not overthink them and let it go every time.

Now, back to the present, the reason why you’re lost in your thoughts and feelings for Bucky.

You’re watching from a distance as Bucky smiles and laughs, happier than you’ve ever seen him surrounded by his friends, more relaxed than he’s ever been during a party.

You smile at his happiness, glad that he’s finally comfortable around pretty much everybody, but your face falls pretty fast as you see him wrap his right arm around her.

You’ve known Sharon for a while now, she was one of the agents in the list for the spot in the Avengers before you got it. You always felt like she resented you for it, like she should’ve been the one to get it because she was already close with some of the members of the team.

She was never openly hostile with you, but you did notice her hanging around Bucky more and more in the last few months. You didn’t think anything of it, but you were proved wrong just half an hour ago when Bucky started to introduce her to the avengers she didn’t already know as his girlfriend.

As soon as that word came out of his mouth, so casually you’d think he'd been saying it his whole life,  you felt like you were gonna throw up.

It took all your skills to keep your face as neutral as possible, you felt like Sharon’s eyes were on you the whole time, trying to see every micro expression she could find to know what you were thinking.

But you were probably just imagining that, right?

You excused yourself as soon as you could and went straight to the bar to get the strongest drink Nat could make, which she handed to you with a knowing look while glancing behind you.

You barely had time to think before you felt his hand on your shoulder, feeling his body next to you but you didn't turn to look at him, taking a sip of your drink instead.

"Hey, doll, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Sharon before, it’s still pretty new."

You tried to keep your voice as cheery as you normally would around him. "Why would you? It’s your relationship, why are you apologizing?"

He gave you a weird look you'd never seen before, before saying "Because we’re best friends? We usually tell each other everything… right?" he sounded a bit uncertain.

"Yeah, right, duh." you said, trying to give a genuine laugh "Well, it’s alright anyway, now I know! Stop worrying, just go be with her."

He looked around your face for a few more moments, like he was looking for something, before he said "ok, then." and left.

You managed to keep the smile on your face until you were sure he was gone, but dropped it as soon as you looked back ahead of you.

Taking another sip of your drink and making a face at how much alcohol was actually in it, you looked at Nat and, nodding, you left before she could comment on the scene you’re sure she just watched in its entirety. 

So here you are now, in a corner watching people enjoy themselves, just like you used to do at parties with Bucky by your side, except you’re alone.

You try to look on the bright side, you really are, but you can find none.

You can't talk about it with anyone either since nobody knows about your feelings for the super soldier, except for Natasha who always seems to know everything, but  you aren't too close with her and neither of you ever actually spoke about it out loud.

Not that you would've, you aren't the most outgoing person, usually keeping your feelings and most of your thoughts to yourself, with the exception of Bucky.

With him talking seems like the easiest thing in the world, it doesn't matter about what. He knows almost everything that he could possibly know about you, the only thing that you could never bring yourself to talk about is your feelings for him.

You feel a hand in the low of your back and, just as you're bringing your fist up, you realize it's just Steve. "Easy there, tiger." he chuckled, lowering your arm for you. "You seem a little on edge. Everything okay?"

"Everything’s just fine, Captain. You can salute your way to someone else now." His laugh makes you smile against your will.

"Okay, rookie, you don’t wanna talk about it." you roll your eyes at the old nickname, but he keep going, "you know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a party without your moping buddy."

You glance at Bucky, who's busy laughing it up with Clint and Laura, his arm still around Sharon. Your eyes find Steve’s again, and you simply shrug. "We’re allowed to do our own thing, aren’t we?"

"Of course you are... I was just wondering why you weren’t with him, that’s all."

You avoid his eyes while you quietly say, "he already has someone at his side tonight, doesn’t need me there."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" comes a voice from behind you.

Damn. The one moment you weren’t looking at him and he sneaks up on you.

You turn around and see him standing there, arms crossed in front of his chest, Sharon at his side with a smug look on her face that you convince yourself you’re just imagining.

"What’s what supposed to mean?"  You try playing dumb, but you know Bucky can see right through that.

He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly but when you just shrug and give him your best confused look, he sighs and looks at Sharon. "Hey babe, can you get me a scotch from the bar? I’ll meet you there."

You don't know if you're more hurt at him calling her that or relieved at the fact that he didn’t use the nickname that was usually reserved for you.

She just nods and, without taking her eyes off of you, gives him a kiss on the lips. Okay, you definitely didn’t imagine that. As soon as she’s far enough, Bucky turns back to you.

"What’s wrong with you tonight?" He asks sharply.

"Excuse me? Who said there was something wrong with me?" You say defensively.

"Oh come on doll, you’ve been weird ever since Sharon got here. What’s the matter, do you not like her or something?"

You don't know what to say. You certainly aren't about to tell your best friend that the reason you don’t like his new girlfriend is because you have feelings for him. That’s not gonna end well for anybody. So you decide to just keep on denying.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bucky, so why don’t you just go after you little girlfriend and enjoy your night with her."

"That, right there." he points at your face in a very accusatory manner. "What the fuck was that?"

"What was what?" you’re starting to raise your voice a little and swatting at his hand, getting annoyed at him for not letting this go.

"You’re being a jerk about Sharon, what is your problem with her?"

"I don’t have a problem with her!"

"Yes, you do!"

"Why are you trying to make this into a problem?!"

"Because I know you!" At this point you're both yelling.

"Well, clearly, you don’t know me as well as you think you do!" Lie.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?! Just tell me what the hell is your problem!"

"Why do you care so much? Even if I had a problem, it’s my business, it’s not like I’m your girlfriend!" Bucky just looks at you with a face you’d never seen on him before and you can't decipher.

The whole room seems to go quiet as you two just look at each other for a few moments, then Bucky finally speaks.

"You’re right." he says, in a much quieter voice than a second before "you’re not my girlfriend. I just thought you were my friend. Guess I was wrong. I’ll go after my little girlfriend now."

You can't find it in you to say anything and, when you just look at him, he scoffs and turns around to make his way to the bar.

Slowly it feels like everyone else starts to go back to what they were doing before your yelling match stopped the party in its tracks, but you feel like you can't breath, let alone move, as you watch the spot where Bucky was standing just moments ago, tears starting to form in your eyes.

You can’t believe that just happened. Did Bucky really just say you aren’t his friend?

A hand on your shoulder brings you back to reality and you hear Steve saying "are you okay?" from next to you.

In all honesty, you forgot he was even there.

All that comes out of you is a broken sob before you turn around and make a run for the elevator, as fast as you can run in heels and a floor-length cocktail dress.

Steve runs after you, but there are too many people around that slow him down, and by the time he gets to the elevator the doors had just closed.

He waits to see where you would stop, assuming your shared floor but you never know. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and he pushes the button of the elevator, glad that he waited a second more.

When he gets to the roof it's so dark outside that it takes a second before he find you, and once he does he slowly gets close to you.

What he was not expecting was to find you sitting on the ground, hugging your knees and crying.

Steve sits down next to you and puts his arm around your shoulders wordlessly while you cry.

After you calmed down a bit he says "He’s really worried about you, Y/N. If there’s something going on, you should just tell him. He’ll understand…"

You think about it for a few minutes while you find a way to tell Steve what's going on.

"How do you tell someone that the reason you’re sad is because you love them?" you say with tears starting to form again in your eyes.

Steve can only stare at you, at a loss for words. 

You hear something behind you and when you turn you see Bucky’s back, walking towards the elevator.

It doesn’t matter how long he was there for, he obviously heard you.

You look back at Steve that has an apologetic look on his face, confirming your fear. Damn super soldier hearing.

Well, it looks like your friendship with Bucky is officially dead.

Part 2

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

Dark Paths Into The Unknown (2)

AN: This chapter is a continuation of this fic here. Likes, reblogs and comments are very much welcomed and appreciated!

Warnings: mentions of drugging, spitting, kidnapping, hitting and stealing.

The rocking motion of the van would have been soothing if Sharon could move.   Whatever the mortician had injected her with was powerful and her limbs refused to obey her panicked commands.  She also felt more sleepy than usual as a result of the unknown drug. 

Being constantly on the run interfered with Sharon’s sleep schedule to the point that if asked about it, she’d reply “What sleep schedule?”   The last thing she felt before she drifted into an unwilling sleep was a spark of admiration that you had managed to evade both these men for as long as you did.

Sharon’s eyelids fluttered open as she felt herself being lifted.  Her vision was fuzzy and it took her precious moments to realise that she had been placed into a wheelchair.  The metal felt cool under her heated palms and the air around her was cooler as the sun slowly slunk towards the horizon.

There was one small upside to the situation Sharon found herself in.  The drug had worn off and neither the mortician nor the detective had injected her again; whether that was intentional on their part and they had something more sinister planned or because it had genuinely slipped their minds Sharon didn’t know.  She was more inclined to believe the former as the two men who had kidnapped her didn’t seem like the type to forget something that important.

“They had to have made a mistake.  Even if it was a small one otherwise (Name) wouldn’t’ve been able to escape them.”

Low murmurs caught Sharon’s attention and she strained to hear what they were talking about but the conversation cut off abruptly as Eliot turned to face her and realised that she was conscious.

He knelt down opposite her and Sharon wished that her arms were just a tiny bit longer so that she could smack the insufferably calm and controlled expression off his face.

“The relaxant wore off exactly when I thought it would.  How are your limbs feeling?”  He inquired mildly.  “I would expect that they would be tenser than they’ve been for a while.”

“I was right,” Sharon thought fighting the horror that bubbled up in her chest, “They did it intentionally.  They might want the thrill of the chase but only with her.   In a weird way, that’s probably them acknowledging that she is worth their efforts and attention.”

Sharon’s great aunt had always stressed the value and importance of possessing restraint.  Right now, Sharon wished she hadn’t heard that particular speech thousands of times.  The impulse to spit at Eliot’s face was nearly overwhelming.  “I am Sharon Carter and I have standards.” She reminded herself repeatedly until the impulse subsided.

The night air swept over her again but this time, Sharon’s nose caught the scent of stale chips, bleach, rust, gas and artificial air fresher.  Twisting her neck, Sharon was able to identify the van she’d been transported from the forest in.  Now the van was parked in front of a gas station.  “Well, that explains the smell at least.”

Eliot and Chandler strode confidently into the small store, leaving Sharon by herself with her palms resting on the arms of the wheelchair.  Sharon heaved a sigh when she heard the door open and close automatically behind the two powerful men and then she tossed her head back so that it was resting close to the handles of the wheelchair.

“It’s hopeless.  No one knows I’m here which means that there’s no hope of being rescued.  By SHIELD or Sword or anybody else that I once counted as an ally.  And they’re so calm, confident, and charming that no one will quest-”

At precisely that moment, the lights of the store behind her dimmed before shutting off completely and Sharon heard the door lock click into place automatically.  A small jolt of relief shot through Sharon until she realised that while she had been temporarily separated from the two men, she had no way of escaping their clutches permanently; once the power came back on she would be at their mercy once again.  A small voice in the back of her mind added that her imprisonment might even be worse because the two men would believe that she had something to do with the power outage.  They’d be wrong but it wouldn’t matter.  Even if they found out the truth, Sharon doubted that it’d change anything.

A squeal of tires and a cloud of dust, dirt and gravel pulled Sharon from her tumultuous thoughts.  She stared in wonder at the car that had appeared.  Sharon had just enough time to grab the smallest glimpse of the driver before the car span around in a circle and the passenger door swung open.  “Get in!” You screamed so that Sharon would be able to hear you since she couldn’t see you because of the dust cloud separating the two of you.

Sharon could hear the door rattling and she didn’t dare look behind her because she feared that she’d see Eliot and Chandler were close to forcing the door open.  Ignoring the way her limbs shook in protest, Sharon propelled herself one of the wheelchair.  She ran as if the very best of HYDRA’s agents were on her tail.  You slowed down until the car stopped completely.  The upside to that was that Sharon had a clear path to the car.   The downside to this was that you and the car were now completely visible.

Her legs were on the verge of collapsing and her lungs were screaming for air when she drew level with the passenger door.  To her horror, she heard the door of the gas station slide open and she knew that Eliot and Chandler were gaining on her with every passing second.  They were taller and in better physical condition than she was.  Mustering her remaining strength, Sharon tensed her legs and dove into the passenger seat.

You spun the steering wheel, creating another cloud of dust, dirt and gravel which forced the detective and the mortician to freeze in their tracks.  There was another advantage to the high-speed movement.  The passenger door, which had still been open, swung shut with a tremendous bang.

The engine groaned as you pressed your foot down on the accelerator however, it shot forwards obligingly and Sharon’s fingers grappled for the seat belt.  “When did you graduate to grand theft auto?” Was the only thing she managed to stammer out after she had buckled herself in.

“Let’s see.” You mused thoughtfully with more than a touch of sarcasm, “Carry the one, minus the four, add the six.  Since, mind your business.” Sharon felt she deserved much more than that if she were being frank with herself.  Her exhaustion caught up with her and this time, she surrendered willingly to sleep’s comforting and welcoming embrace.

[missvelvetsstuff]

No Benefits

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.

Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.

Warnings: swearing, angst, stupid Bucky, bad Sharon, good friend Sam

Notes: Steve and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon

I try to keep my Readers description vague but as always, she's a she and above average height

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

[couldntbedamned]

@ Kevin Feige, START FUCKING ASKING HER MKAY?

[griseldabanks]

2017.02.06

This is a scene from my current main WIP, Take Me In, which is a Captain America fic (and which, as you'll see below, includes a Staron romance subplot). I write each scene as a separate file and label them like this (so, this would be the 6th scene that takes place in February 2017), and later on I'll decide which scenes belong in a chapter together and so forth.

I have a tendency to switch things around a lot in this fic, reordering things as I try to work out the logistics, so I think this scene was actually a different one when I posted the ask game. But here's an excerpt from it as it stands now:

After putting the milk away, Sharon paused to look at Steve for a moment. He sat with his back to her, his shirt stretching over his broad, muscular shoulders. She looked at his hands, so strong but so gentle, lifting his mug as he blew away the steam curling up from the surface of the tea. I love him, she thought, her heart clenching so tightly it was hard to breathe. I love everything about him. Not just because he was handsome, not just because he was the best man she'd ever known, not just because he was so good to her—though he was all of those things and more. No, she loved every part of him because it was him. That was all there was to it. She loved Steve Rogers because he was Steve Rogers. Sharon's heart clenched tighter and tighter, until at last it exploded, filling her up to the brim with a golden glow that sloshed around inside her and spilled out of her lips almost before she realized what was happening. “I love you.” Steve choked on his first sip of tea, splashing some onto the table as he set his mug down too hard. He hastily tried to mop up the spill, coughing all the while. Sharon couldn't help laughing giddily as she thumped him on the back. The liquid light inside her was bubbling, boiling over, getting everywhere, and it felt wonderful. It felt like she'd been trying to hold the lid on a pot for too long, instead of letting the pressure out, but now it was free. When Steve finally stopped coughing, he looked up at her with watery eyes—though whether from his coughing fit or some other reason, she couldn't say. “C-Come again?” he croaked. Sharon beamed. “I love you, Steve.” Far from being annoyed at having to repeat herself, she couldn't wait to tell him again—and again, and again. “I love you!”

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