#you wanna talk about OCD Extreme Nightmare Turbo Mode lmao

[the-moogle-of-your-nightmares]

i don't know what the community's been like since i left it, and if any of these attitudes have changed--i don't want to shit on a given system origin as a whole, there's enough of that out there and i'm sure plenty of people aren't Like That about it--but there was a HUGE emphasis on THIS IS A WEIGHTY MORAL RESPONSIBILITY YOU'VE TAKEN ON THAT'S AN ENTIRE PERSON WHO RELIES ON YOU FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING AND WILL BE THERE IN YOUR HEAD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND SUFFER HORRIBLY AND LOSE THEIR SENSE OF SELF IF YOU FUCK IT UP OR DON'T DEVOTE YOUR ATTENTION TO THEM ALL THE TIME, DID I MENTION THIS IS A PERMANENT CHOICE AND YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK etc etc etc, and like. holy shit dude that kind of thinking will fucking mangle you psychologically whether you are or aren't a system lmao

i saw a LOT of people at the time talking about being incredibly stressed and guilty and having their mental health impacted badly in general over this, and i cannot overstate that it fucked me up BAD. it is antithetical to basically everything i have learned since then about how to function as a system, and to get in touch with and be kind to myself. i'm still bitter about it, and i wish that was something i saw from a distance in discussion about issues with the community instead of endless discourse about whether it's ableist and/or culturally appropriative to make thoughtforms or whatever (spoiler alert it's not. just don't call them tulpas that's it).

one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao