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#you wanna see how far i can throw your comrade's head?
cursedfortune · 10 months
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"You can die for me." ┐( ̄ー ̄)┌ 👎
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"You can just die." ( ᐛ )و 👍
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full-cowlings · 2 years
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𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓  ̶𝐏̶𝐀̶𝐓̶𝐈̶𝐄̶𝐍̶𝐂̶𝐄̶ ̶
includes   |   nsfw content drabble , izuku x fem bodied! reader, ( though no pronouns other than ‘you’ used ) , fingering , orgasm denial , brat / brat taming , izu being sweetly condescending , i think that’s all? please let me know if i forgot something !
word count ; 742
It’s almost terrifying how fast that switch in Izuku can change. His patience is far too much for any of his comrades to even begin to understand, but you see that side of him that makes you wanna protest against them.
For he could be giving you the sweetest smile that you have ever seen… That was if there was no underlying message hidden beneath the surface of his lit up features.
For that smile wasn’t the one of nurturing and love like everyone around you thinks it is.
No, in fact it’s far from it.
It’s a silent warning.
A warning to let you know that if you keep running your mouth, that when you guys get home, a reward is the farthest thing from what you’re getting.
And you almost didn’t believe him… until you did.
Because after dragging you back to your shared home, the number one pro-hero had you seated on his lap, your back flushed against his chest and your thighs spread on either side of his own legs.
And you had the nerve to laugh, to sigh contently as his callused and scarred fingers shoved inside of you.
Oh, what a mistake that was.
“Oh, baby…” Izuku mused, almost with a disappointed sigh.
His fingers soon quickened their pace and for a second you were confused as to why his viridian eyes darkened in turn.
Izuku always did spread you out so well , the callused pads of his fingers working you out as he scissored your insides. His hands were rough and scarred from his past years of attending U.A High School , let alone the ones he’s attained through his career as the top pro hero. Yet they always knew how to get you to turn into putty at his hands. And only his hands.
And he swore he could throw his head back, swore he could cream in his boxers and pants at the mere lewd sound of your wetness squelching around him alone.
But he resisted the urge to do so tonight, shoving the urge to groan and shove you down on the nearest surface , his strong build that he’s built up over the years looming over you as he pinned you down and took you right then and there .
This was supposed to be a punishment, after all.
His fingers sped up his movements as they curled and hit that spongy spot inside of you just right, a satisfied hum coming from him upon hearing such lewd sounds coming from you.
Izuku’s head leaned down to pepper soft kisses against the flushed skin of your neck and shoulder before biting down softly on it, well, softly at first, for he was determined to mark you up as his after all. Perhaps then you’d think before you acted up again.
His thumb moved from the rest of his fingers to rub soft circles against your clit, feeling how you squirmed on his lap and how your perfect cunt clenched around him just right at the feel of the calloused pads of his fingers pressing against that spot .
“Gonna cum for me, my love?”
And you nodded, hips rocking against his hands and fingers as you felt him stretch you out, how you felt just his fingers alone fill you up and hit you so deep.
Then, suddenly as your back arched against his toned chest, his movements stopped completely upon feeling you clench so hard around him, feeling you squeeze him.
Your mind was foggy and hazy, but you still gave a soft whine at the loss of movement, your hips rocking against his hand again to try and get some friction. Which caused Izuku to give a soft ‘tsk’ in reply.
“Come on, sweetheart… did you really think you’d get to cum after the stunts you pulled tonight? Only good pets get to cum, you know that…” he asked as his hands lifted from your cunt, hovering just slightly over it so he could still feel the heat radiating from you.
… and Izuku Midoriya sure intended it to be one.
His fingers drew lazy circles over your clit and your slit, feeling how sensitive you were from just one orgasm denial out of many more that were bound to come.
“Come on, baby, you can take it. Be good for ‘zuku and then maybe you’ll get to cum tonight.”
But Izuku had patience…
He just hoped you’d have some tonight too.
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miiishra · 4 months
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So it's gonna still be a little while before a fic update between weekend things, Diablo IV, and getting my new tablet set up, so here's a continuation of the Oko/Rowan travel scene. And if you wanna know more about it, you can read the first three chapters of The Witch of Thunder Junction on AO3.
---
The elk bellowed and reared up, and Rowan clutched at its neck to keep from being thrown off. But that only seemed to make matters worse, because too late she saw the sparks zapping wildly from her hands, and the next thing she knew, she had hit the dirt hard. 
“Rowan, what the fuck!?” 
Sore, Rowan sat up to see Oko glaring at her. There was no pretense, no alluring masks, he was pissed. She knew, absolutely knew, this was the real him she was looking at. No one could fake that kind of rage. In that moment, teeth and truth bared, he looked like a caged animal ready to pounce. 
And just like that, it was gone when Oko stood up and brushed the dust off his pants. He took a breath, making a show of pulling himself back together, straightening his hat, careful not to touch the thorns that lined its wide brim. “I would appreciate it, Princess, if you would stop zapping me every five minutes.” He flashed her a pleasant smile, but she did not miss the way his eyebrow twitched. “It really, really hurts, actually.” 
Of all the people Rowan didn’t want to hurt on accident, Oko wasn’t even on that list. And yet, guilt washed over her all the same. She bit her lip, trying to keep the words in because, even though she hated him, she really hated him, three years later she was still that stupid naive girl. 
“I’m sorry.” 
Oko’s expression was too surprised to not be real. Rowan brushed past him, following the road toward town without another word. 
He stood there for another heartbeat or two, scratching the back of his head. “Ah, damn it. Hey, Rowan, wait up! If it was an accident, then okay, that’s understandable. You can’t control your powers, yeah? Then we can figure it out – “ 
She whirled on him so fast he nearly slammed into her. Oko jumped back like a rabbit, his skin tingling from the sudden sharp static in the air. “We are not friends,” she hissed. 
“Come again?” 
“This,” Rowan continued, gesturing between them. “Whatever this is. We’re not friends. We’re not partners, comrades, or even allies in the loosest sense of the word. We are two people stuck together due to circumstances beyond our control.” 
He shrugged, his smile not wavering as if he already knew this fact. “I mean, this is all technically your fault.” 
“Shut up.” Rowan’s eyes flashed dangerously. “I don’t need your lip, either.” 
“Oh?” Oko’s eyes danced, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned a shoulder against the cliff. “Then what do you need from me, Princess? You’re the one who called to me, after all. You were the one who said to Miss Annie that you needed me. Don’t be shy, Princess~ tell me. It’s a little cruel to lead a guy on like this, don’t you think? I might get the wrong impression.”
The gleeful grin on his face made her sick. The bastard was enjoying this. 
Rowan took a step back. This man was dangerous. This man had once tried to take everything from her. 
She must never, ever forget that. Never forget what she had seen in the faery ring.
“Look,” she said slowly, determined to take back control of the conversation. “All I’m saying is that even though we mean nothing to each other – and don’t even try to pretend otherwise – I would never hurt you. I mean, not on purpose, at least. Not without reason. That’s it. So stop making things weird. Everything is already complicated enough as it is without your foolishness.” 
And with that, Rowan turned on her heel, throwing over her shoulder, “The town is close. I can walk on my own from here.” 
---
If he were to continue pushing her buttons like this…
What more wonderful expressions would she make for him?   
How much longer would she continue to surprise him? 
How far could he make her go?
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 years
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How about a future! tord/ red leader x reader where the reader is basically the motherfucking doom slayer/ doomguy and heads out to the red army base with nothing but their own fists and some shotgun bullets and ends up almost killing most of the red army soldiers and when they finally come across tord/ red leader he's honestly surprised that reader was in his base and single handedly demolished his army and tord being tord thinking he can take them down all by himself goes for it however reader basically the doom slayer aka their unstoppable and bodies him and tears tords robot arm in the process and when reader is done beating his ask up they ask him this...
"Why did you betray my friends?"
"Why did you betray me?"
And tord gives them the answer but it's also a pathetic ass one because he honestly didn't know what to say. And reader just leaves with the final line being "I can't believe i used to be in love with you" and tords be cryin because that realization crushed him.
I've never seen any Doomslayer gameplay so sry if I get anything wrong gjshgs
.............
As a massacre ensued outside of his chambers, Tord sighed in annoyance. He wasn't scared. Only annoyed.
"Those guys had one job: protect Red Leader at all costs. And they go and screw it up..just great." He sneered to himself, while Paul and Patryck stood by the entrance with their weapons ready.
Neither of them wanted to risk their lives, knowing the intruder was probably going to take theirs in a heartbeat. But what choice did they have?
Every day their life was on the line. They were used to that feeling.
Yet not knowing what kind of enemy was making their fellow soldiers scream bloody murder made them..a bit uneasy. Not to mention this person reportedly destroyed all of the base's tanks with a single punch.
How could they defend themselves with this knowledge?
What would happen if they failed?
"If..a-anything should happen," Paul began as he glanced back at his leader. "It's been an honor serving you, Tor-"
"Until you take your last breath, you will address me as Red Leader only. Got it?"
The Dutch man froze in terror, though Patryk answered in his steed with a simple "yes, Red Leader". But before he could turn to chastise his comrade, something slammed against the door, leaving a massive dent.
They both stiffened and aimed their weapons, while Tord watched from his desk warily.
'Who could it be?' He pondered, trying to narrow down the list of possible intruders. 'Not Edd..he's too obsessed with that worthless cola crap. Not Tom..he's stupid, but not that stupid to attack my base all alone. And certainly not Matt..he can't even handle a little blood on his coat.'
The door was being attacked more forcefully, as though the intruder was punching it. And eventually it broke down completely, causing Paul and Patryk to immediately shoot with vicious war cries, not caring who it was.
But suddenly Paul yelled in pain as a bullet struck his shin, sending him collapsing to the ground. "Paul!" Patryk rushed to his side, helping him up.
"Jeez..Tord still kept you guys around, huh?"
When the dust cleared, the Red Leader finally recognized that voice and face:
It was you, clad in an armored suit.
"[Y/n]? Ahaha...long time no see!" He laughed, opening his arms up as you stepped fully into the room. "My, that's quite a suit you have there. Where'd you find something like that?"
"Up your ass." You sneered, before glancing at his two bodyguards. "Out. Now." Aiming your shotgun as a warning seemed highly effective, as the pair scrambled to their feet and left you and Tord alone.
"Whatever, they were both cowards anyways." He scoffed.
"Cowards who were smart enough to leave. Now.." You turned back to him. "We have some things to talk about."
"Oh? Is that why you killed my men and smashed my tanks? Those were expensive, you know.."
"Well they wouldn't let me just walk in-"
All of the sudden, Tord's robot arm shot out a laser beam from the palm, which you dodged as it struck the nearby wall. You scowled at him. "Tord, stop it. I'm not here to kill you."
"You're no fun, [y/n]. I wanna see what you got!" He grinned wickedly. "Besides, if all you wanted was talk..then you should've asked me out on a date instead!"
Something about his last statement made your heart ache inside, but that only fueled your rage as you lunged at him. He was foolish enough to think he could beat you on his own, becoming swiftly outmatched in a matter of seconds.
You rammed him into the wall with your full body. In retaliation he tried shooting another laser at you, only for you to grab his robot arm and manifest a bladed weapon, slashing it clean off like an amputation.
He yelled in pain and shock, falling to his knees the moment you backed off. Sparks and wires trickled from the shoulder joint as he gripped it, gritting his teeth.
"Now do you wanna talk?" You coldly asked, still holding the arm. Deep down, it hurt you to do this to someone you once befriended, someone you once....cared deeply for.
But his own damn pride had to get in the way.
How many times has that gotten him hurt?
"I-I'd rather...." He then hesitated, seeing the slightly disappointed look in your eyes, before he finally gave in. "Ugh, fine. We'll talk."
"After all these years, I never got to ask you..." You knelt down to get closer to him. "Why did you betray our friends? Why did you betray me?"
".....pfft..is that what this is all about? What I did to your little neighborhood oh so long ago?" Tord shook his head. "You know, the whole "world domination" shtick was only a stupid thing I made up on the spot. I honestly just wanted my robot back."
"So..that's all that mattered to you, huh? Just a robot? You didn't even care about the fact you destroyed Edd's home. It was all just storage space for your stupid tech, wasn't it?"
"Oh I..." Now you were backing him into a corner, forcing him to confront his own feelings about how he truly felt that day.
"We used to look for treasure, fight zombies, hang out at the arcade..what ever happened to that? What ever happened to...us, Tord?" The more you spoke, the more hopeless you sounded as Tord only stared back at you blankly.
"..you all forgot about me. That's what happened."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, that's..what it is." He clenched his remaining fist. "When I left, none of you bothered to check on me. A simple "hey Tord, old pal, how's the Red Army going for you?" would've been fine. You could've called, texted...hell even sent a pigeon my way! But no. All I got was silence, as if I was never there."
Then he glanced up at you with a malicious grin. "So I wanted to make sure none of you forgot about me...even if you hated me after the fact. And I see that's worked quite well."
"....bullshit."
"Eh?" He raised an eyebrow, perplexed.
"Maybe the others haven't tried, but I did. I tried my best to contact you..but you never responded. So I find that pathetic excuse hard to believe."
He felt his heart sink into his stomach. But in all honesty..he just didn't know what to say to you. He couldn't come up with any other reason for his actions.
You sighed, seeing that you've officially stunned him into silence. Even though you weren't satisfied with his answer, you could tell his expression held deep regret and...even sadness as he realized you never did betray him.
And there was only one reason why you bothered to reach out to him at all.
"Seems like..we're done here. I don't wanna kill you, but I don't want you talking to me until you grow up and throw aside your goddamn ego."
"[Y/n], I..I just-" Tord flinched as you tossed the robot arm near him, though he made no move to pick it up, only staring at you in shock.
You just picked up your shotgun, looking down at him with a slight frown. "I can't believe I used to be in love with you."
With that, you swiftly turned around, not wanting to see his expression as you left the room. You knew that he needed time to think things through.
Only when you were gone did the crushing realization finally hit Tord. Those words you spoke were true, and drove a knife deep into his heart, twisting its very core.
He could feel his throat tighten as hot tears welled up in his eyes. Not just from the pain of losing his arm, but from a far worse kind of pain.
The pain of knowing that he truly did love you..only to betray you in the end.
Curling up against the wall, tears streamed down his cheeks as quiet sobs echoed through the empty, battle-torn room.
There was no one else to blame but himself for this.
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it9chi · 4 years
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PLEASE JAN #23 “Just tell why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay!” AND GOJO THANK U
this week has relatively been a shitty week for you. you almost lost a limb thanks to the higher ups who somehow managed to fuck up and miscalculate the entire situation in some abandoned building in kyoto you were assigned to. turns out it was a not a grade 3 curse like the report said it was but a special grade 1
right now all you needed was some well deserved break and probably a good night’s rest preferably a week long rest to compensate for the physical and mental drainage it caused you
“wow” gojo gasps, his eyes peering away from his phone to look at your current state. you’ve just emerged from your room after days of sleeping in “you look like shit!” he cackles.
“haha. very funny” you mock, walking straight past him to the kitchen to get yourself a glass of milk. gojo stands up from his chair and follows from behind. “i know you’re on break right now but i’m lonely so let’s have lunch?” he suggests
you eye him from the side before putting the milk back inside the fridge. “what about ieri and getou?” you raise a brow at him. you were almost one hundred percent sure that he doesn’t leave the dorm without getou unless he’s out and about dealing with girls
“don’t know, don’t care. c’mon just the two of us. i’ll pay for everything i swear”
and that’s how you found yourself roaming the streets of shinjuku with gojo and as promised, he did buy you a few trinkets here and there and some clothes (more like an abundant amount of clothes)
“satoru, are you sure it’s okay for me to spend your money like this?” you stifle in your laugh as you eyed the paper bags he was holding for you. “why? got some luxury brand in mind?” he quips, nudging your shoulder. 
“god, no! i’m not a cheapskate i can buy shit myself!” you laughed, running away from gojo. you fail to notice how big his smile on his face was when you turned around. “i’m hungry, let’s go to KFC”
gojo was surprisingly nice about being the one to get you both some food. you never thought you’d live to see the day where gojo himself would take orders from anyone besides yaga (without full on complaining) but here we are
while he was busy ordering up front, you didn’t notice a pair of eyes looking at your way. 
typing on your phone, you were texting shoko about you whereabouts with gojo.
ieri <3 [12:43 PM]: interesting...
you [12:43 PM]: ITS REALLY NOT THAT SERIOUS
ieri <3 [12:44 PM]: right...
ieri <3 [12:45 PM]: geto says you’re dumb
you [12:45 PM]: wow
you felt someone slide in the seat in front of you, you looked up expecting it to be gojo with your lunch but instead you were met with an unfamiliar face. “uh hi?” you smile awkwardly at the person in front of you. who were they and what did they want from you
“you probably don’t know me but you’re really pretty so can i have your number?” the said person casually flirts. you were quite.. shocked? at his boldness? like what happened to hello? my name is?
before you opened your mouth to say something, gojo beat you right to it. “you’re in my seat” he tells the man in front of you. the man waves him off, “just wait a moment, yeah? this fine lady hasn’t given me her number yet” 
without any hesitation whatsoever, gojo drops the tray filled with your food at the man. the cola, chicken, fries, and whatever gojo ordered spills over the man’s shirt, soaking him completely in kfc. 
gojo grabs your hand (along with your paper bags) and drags you away from the fast food chain as fast as possible. 
when you two were far out of the area, you yanked your hand away from his. “what the fuck was that about” you hissed. gojo turns around and eyes you down. “he was flirting with you obviously” he scoffs, agitating you even more. 
“but did you have to throw away our lunch like that? what the fuck!” you fumed, stomping your leg like a child. you had every right to act like this. he just wasted some perfectly good food for what? a stranger flirting with you?
“well what did you want me to do? watch you give your number out?” gojo retorts, shaking his head. “well, you could” you snap. gojo rolls his eyes at what you said and starts walking away from you
"oh so you’re walking away now” you were fuming at this point. “just tell why you did it!” you stomped your way towards him and grabbed his arm. tugging them so he would face you. “because i’m in love with you, okay!” gojo blurts 
he was what?
"welp, my secret is out” he says, dejected. “just so you know, i’ve liked you for a long time now and just didn’t do anything about it” gojo adds. he notices you’ve gone quiet and turns around to face you. “damn you’re even more dense than i thought you—” 
“why didn’t you tell me” you cut him off. gojo shrugs and avoids your eye contact. “it wouldn’t be gojo of me to tell his classmate and his comrade that i’ve been crushing on them, c’mon now” he notes
you wanted to punch him right there but you can’t thanks to his stupid limitless technique. 
“it’s okay if you don’t like me back—” “i like you too” you cut him off, again. 
gojo whirls his head at your statement, his eyes almost popping out of their sockets. you do? well that’s great! he thinks to himself quietly. trying to process this information
“for someone who talks a lot of shit, you’re awfully quiet when you’re with me” you snickered when he hasn’t uttered a word. gojo opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. 
“... well, you do take my breath away” he winks in attempt to cover up his embarrassment. “gross!” you giggled, intertwining your hands with his.
“wanna go back to KFC?”
“just take me out for some lunch, satoru” 
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WHY WAS THIS SHIT SO FUCKING LONG !!!!! anyway send me a prompt!!
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tokoyamisstuff · 3 years
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Dark Side Of The Moon Ch. 1 - Dark! Loki x Reader
Chapter 1: Speak to Me/Breathe
Chapter Summary: The last thing you remember was being mortally wounded, now having woken up in a completely different reality. And you’d soon need to face the horrors of who would seek you out...
Warnings: Violence, Blood, Suicide Attempt, Graphic Descriptions of Death, Dark! Loki, Spoiler you kinda die but kinda don't
Words: approx. 3800
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[Story Masterlist]
Masterlist to my other works right ->Here<-
Lyrics used from the Song: Kina ft. Snow - Get You The Moon
“Y/N, look out!”
The piercing sounds of gunfire nearby made your eardrums ring, yet Steve’s words got through to you nonetheless.
But you were determined to end this, here and now.
Tony was the first one at your side, catching you in his arms before you hit the floor. However, you could only do so much as whimper a silent apology to your friends, who now had to live with the consequences of your actions.
“Why did you do this?!” you heared Dr. Strange yell as he unsucessfully tried to close the deep cut in your gut. Too afraid of what you might see if you’d look at the wound, your glare was locked on the beautiful sky - yes, the sun was almost setting, and it was somehow calming to you that this would most likely the last thing you’d set eyes upon.
“There was no reason to be this reckless!” Steve followed close by, his scolding soon turning into desperate screams. “Fuck. FUCK!” If Captain America himself is cussing, then it’s as severe as you thought it to be.
Your wounds were lethal, that much was sure.
And of course they were right, as always: You didn’t need to play the martyr here, throwing yourself into danger to shield your comrades - well, you did anyway, and there was no going back now.
On the other hand, they were the ones taking a gravely depressed widow onto a dangerous mission. But you did not want your precious friends to blame themselves for that, for it was your own wish.
Dying in an honorable battle was what would send you to Valhalla, after all - where you could finally meet him again, hopefully.
The only one not having spoken a single word up until now was Thor, very well knowing what all this was about. It was no secret that you were sick and tired of how your life had turned out to be, ever since the Infinity War.
You felt empty. Incomplete. Desperate. Hallow.
The God of Thunder had turned his back to you, yet there was still agony radiating from that already broken man. Your almost-brother-in-law was the only one who could possibly understand your pain. Thor Odinson had lost everything: His homeland, most of his tribe, his family and best friend - and soon, you as well.
All this time, you wanted to be strong. For them, who had also lost so much!
But at some point things just got out of control.
“You can’t leave me alone, Lady Y/N! Not you too!” Thor finally whimpered as he fell onto his knees, softly squeezing your hand. “You’re the only thing I have left from him!
So this is what dying feels like.
The bloodloss caused your limps to go limp, and when the pain began to stop and got replaced by numbness, you knew it would soon be time. Your brain lost the remaining control over your body, and you found yourself encoated by pure nothingless.
Only able to listen by their screams, cries and kind words - at least you’d die surrounded by those marvellous people. It sure was a privilege knowing them.
You weren’t afraid - all in all, it had been a good life, after all. 
There were no regrets.
“Shh” you hushed them, using your last bit of strenght so your lips formed somewhat of a most broken smile, forming words between gurling on your own blood.
“It’s alright, I-” you cut yourself off, trying to scream as a last, torturing pain shot through your whole system. “I-I-I’ll-- meet him again...you know?”
“I’m no-not strong enough, please...” Thor cried out like you had never seen him before, feeling a tide of guilt wash over you. “Loki wouldn’t have wanted you to go like this! He told me to protect you, so you could lead a long and happy life!”
Without him? Impossible!
“You gave me a shoulder when I needed it
You showed me love when I wasn’t feeling it
You helped me fight when I was giving in
And you made me laugh when I was losing it”
Yes, indeed: You had been to selfish to keep on living just for the sake of your friends, burdening them with yet another loss.
“I-I don’t wanna go...this was a mistake, I- please...”
How badly did you want to soothe them right now, telling them that everything would be alright and you’d meet them again, eventually?
It was too late now.
Your body gave up earlier than your soul, which had endured and kept on all this time, even in it’s shattered state.
And when Tony’s palm gently closed your eyes, making it easier for you to embrace the cold darkness, the last thing you heared before your senses gave up were startling you enough to almost bring you back to life:
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
That voice was familiar, yet it didn’t belong to Loki. Dr. Strange, no- Stephen Strange, your friend and mentor of the mystic arts.
“I don’t have the heart to allow this to happen” he stated frantic, making you wonder if that was a dream of your hypoxic brain or if you were still able to hear them? People tend to say the sense of hearing dies last, after all. “She still has a pulse, even though weak. Hurry!”
Their voices were far in the back, words way too far out of your reach to understand. As if you were an outsider, only observing from a distance.
Your friends were fighting, or maybe discussing something. That much you could make up from their tone, but your mind was too exhausted to make sense of anything.
It felt as if you were already without a body, floating through the unknown like a feather in the wind - not knowing where fate would lead you to next.
Everything was numb - even your pain. It was soothing, somehow.
Because you had been a ghost way before, when you were alive even. An empty shell of a human, acting like they weren’t dead on the inside.
Coherent thoughts, memories, emotions...even the fractions of your own past you had both collected and surpressed. Right now, they were all restrained and pushed far in the back of your very core, where you were finally able to evaluate them without earthly bondings.
Was this heaven, hell - or maybe both or none or them?
____
"Be aware of the limits this tactic has. It’s a very drastic measurement that can most likely be used only once in your lifetime, and it is not guaranteed to work either.”
Stephen’s voice again. You recall that scene, it’s been long in the past...but why are you remembering it now?
Yes, this was familiar. All of you had been invited to the Sanctum Sanctorum, a fitting place to teach about this ancient knowledge.
You clearly remembered that Loki was absent in any of the Doctor’s lessons, feeling that a “puny human” was “unworthy” to teach him, and “it would be nothing new anyway, Y/N, I am a god and the way better wizard, I know it all already.”
What he was about to tell you back then was some kind of crazy emergency-plan: Dangerous, unpredictable and escpecially untested.
“I’ve only read about this tactic up until now” the mage pondered loudly as he picked at his goatee, earning some childish giggles by you and Tony. “So I cannot promise that it will function as planned. The Multiverse is dangerous and acts in unforseen ways.”
“Very reassuring” you had mocked at the time, not really biding the topic any importance or thought ever again.
But now...
The trick sounded way simpler than it actually was, being as complex as it is only natural for something like that, costing a huge prize at that:
Dr. Strange would send any of you who were on the brink of death through a portal, thus leading you into a random dimension of this endless Multiverse.
That dimension, in which your alternate self has most likely died, will gladly accept you as a “replacement”. Some kind of what Peter Parker called a “glitch” will occur, instantly healing all of your wounds - even fatal ones, so you could remain in the timeline that was missing you. 
Yet the consequences of this maneuvre would be unspeakable.
_____
“That bastard...” you gnarled internally, finally realizing why you would remember this of all things after apparently having just taken your dying breath. “He didn’t just-”
Eventually, you realized having escaped death’s grip, slowly beginning to regain your senses - yet still refusing to open your eyes.
“I don’t want to leave this place. My friends -- will I never see them again? No. NO! Life is meaningless. Just let me be with him. Please! Loki...”
“’Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
‘Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you
And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you”
Another part of Strange’s lesson echoed in your head, revealing that you were now in fact up on your own.
“Not even I can tell just how much this timeline will differ from what you know. Of course I will search for you right away, but considering the countless possibilities, it might very well be that we’ll never meet again. But you’re alive, and hopefully safe. That’s all that counts.”
Grass tickled your palm as you twitched your fingers, testing the limits of your body, which had literally just tricked death. Suddenly, you felt a stinging pain, almost like lightning boring into your temportal. The origin of this pain remained unknown.
When you finally found the courage to sit up, your flesh still feeling as heavy as lead, you realized that Stephen was most likely wrong: He assumed that you’d find yourself in a place you had a deep connection with, yet that place was unrecognizable to you.
Then why were you here of all places?
Actually, this location was incredibly beautiful, managing to stop the aching in your heart, if only for the fraction of a second.
Your former lover would’ve loved this place.
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“'Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you
And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you”
Even though not all of Dr. Strange’s speculations were correct, you decided to stick to his emergency plan: Find as much information about this “new” earth as possible, point out the differences to your initial one, and then contact the Dr. Strange of this dimension.
Two mages working on crossing each other’s path would at least higher the stakes to find your original timeline.
Well, no one could guarantee you that the Avenger’s existed on this timeline, and they could as well be evil in this one...what a weird and horrifying imagination.
Knowledge really was power - that was another thing Loki had taught you a long time ago, and it would prove valuable, especially in this situation.
As you wandered this surprisingly extensive garden and getting lost in admiring the beauty of it’s nature, you found yourself devoid of any weapons. That fact made you slightly uncomfortable, even though your current location seemed absent of any ememies, making a peaceful impression. 
Seemingly there weren’t any evil schemes going on in this dimension.
It basically were only minor differences, at least that was your first impression. At least there were no changes in natural laws or something as big.
“I miss the days where magic and science didn’t mix up like this” you whispered, mainly to yourself as you examined the new, large scar on your abdomen - the only memory left of your “almost-suicide-mission”.
To be more precize: The only thing left from your former life, now leaving you able to start completely anew, wether you wanted it or not.
Sun had almost drowned behind the horizon, diving the sky in a deep orange. Your eyes were still adjusting, yet you could’ve sworn to see the silhouette of a person. It was far away, at the entrance on what appeared to be a palace belonging to this garden.
Apparently, you had invaded someone’s propery, and you could only pray that it was noone important - or worse, a owner who would defend their ground with violence.
You don’t think your earth had a place this...flashy. The castle was way bigger than any you knew on the other timeline. The first difference you had figured out, yet it was only a minor one.
Maybe the headache you were experiencing was from someone making you  out as an intruder?
One thing was sure: You had been noticed, and you immediately were on high alert.
Where to run to or at least hide?
There was a maze made out of bushed parting you and the palace, and since there was no better option, you’d enter it. Talking to that person and convincing them of your goodwill would make it way easier to gain information.
“You may come out” you declared as you made your way, unable to evaluate the situation properly. “I mean no harm. I’m just lost.”
Was it dangerous to be here? Obviously, you were not allowed to be here anyway.
However, when you had finally found the escape to that maze, only several hundret meters away from the building, the person was already gone.
Had your mind just played a dirty trick on you again? Wouldn’t be the firt time it’d betray you like this...
No. You clearly felt someone watching you.
And as soon as your senses had sharpened to your usual self again, you instantly jumped back, gaining some distance to the Citauri that had just appeared behing you.
Shit! You weren’t ready to fight again just yet. Not like this.
And where one of those vile beasts were, many others would appear. You knew that much.
Had Thanos invaded this earth? Oh god, not again...not him. You were so damn tired of those fights, escapes and especially the pain that always inevitable followed after.
Just when it was about to swing it’s weapon at your head, you felt dizziness crawl up your nerves, making you collapse on the floor. Lucky for you, because only like that, the stike didn’t hit you.
Even though having been taught basic magic skills, that certain kind of spell you were unable to fight against - only true masters of the art were able to perform a sorcery that well.
The Chitauri had left your line of sight, yet the other figure from before reappeared in a pace so fast that your eyes couldn’t follow. They sweeped you off the floor just before your head would meet the hard pavement.
“And now you will answer to me, shapeshifter.”
Once again someone robbed you of the control of your life and body, leaving you without a free will.
How long had you been passed out now? You didn’t know and honestly didn’t care either - since you had nothing to lose anymore.
In the meantime, the owner of those lands had dismissed his guards, not wanting to be disturbed as he was left alone with you in the giant throne room.
The apparent ruler of that unclassified location was sitting on his throne, warily observing you from above. You were lying to his feet at the bare floor, every piece of clothing robbed from you and restrained by a pile of chains. He watched every twitch, all breaths you’d take or groans escaping your mouth until you would finally awake.
Oh, how you really were just like he remembered you, with every little detail he had adored.
At long last, you would finally open your lids again, blinking heavily as you took in your surroundings - but when your eyes met certain emerald ones, they immediately sprung wide open, the emptiness in your heart being filled with all kinds of emotions once again.
The man - it was him!
“'Cause you are, you are
Oh, you are
Oh, you are
You are'Cause you are, you are
The reason why I’m still hanging on
'Cause you are, you are
The reason why my head is still above water
And if I could I’d get you the moon
And give it to you”
“Loki!” you screamed from the bottom of your heart. Without a single coherent thought, your legs would carry on their own as your weakened body stumbled in their attempt to climb those stairs.
For both of you, that momend of reuinion had waited far too long.
The god was temptated to approach you, his trembling hands already reaching out to catch your fragile body should you fall - but suddenly, you felt his knuckles digging into your cheekbone.
“Stay away from me, you fake!” Loki yelled furiously as you hit the ground, rubbing your cheek as you tried to understand what just happened.
Yeah, that sure brought you back to reality again, after such a short high.
Right.
That isn’t your Earth - and not your Loki either.
You couldn’t even be sure this world’s Y/N and Loki had the same kind of relationship the two of you had back in your timeline! The only thing you knew was that he knew you from his past, but as it seemed not pleasantly.
Now that you looked closely, he even had less scars, almost looking untouched and pure - like a true, invincible god. Maybe life here had treat him well, unlike his counterpart from your timeline.
He was still wearing that excessive outfit with the golden horns, and much to both your amazement and fear, it seemed that he still possessed theTesseract.
Could it be...
Before you could connect the dots, the king would soon interrupt your string of thoughts. “Drop that disguise, scum!”
Loki kept on degrading you as he paced in front of his throne, brow sinking deeper and deeper. “Don’t think you can somehow appeal to those pathetic sentiments” he explained, “I’ve freed myself from them long ago. Just stop making a fool out of yourself, and maybe I’ll reward it with a quicker death.”
Yet when he saw your most innocent smile, even this Loki would stand frozen in place, deeply in shock.
How he yearned to see it, all those years - to tell you just how sorry he was for everthing he’s done.
No.
He had left all of this behind - to claim his birthright and rule.
“I-I’m deeply so-sorry...that is a mistake” you whimmered with a broken voice, wiping a tear of joy out of your face. “My feelings overwhelmed me, I guess. I’ve never thought to see you again, even if you’re not the same Loki I know.”
Still cowering on the floor, you looked up to him with compassionate eyes, as if he had not just beat you before. You did not dare to make any more, wanting for Loki to try and understand himself.
“A variant?” he gnarled, just like you did when he realized.
No force in the world had allowed him to access other parts of the Multiverse, no matter how desperately he tried - and now fate had literally dropped you in front of his door.
Loki balled his fists in anger, making you flinch as you anticipated yet another blow.
“Dear, I-”
“Shut up!” the God of Mischief shoutet, causing his magic to break free. The walls of the palace were shaking, most windows and furniture having been destroyed. “It’s no use, woman!”
That man was way more powerful than the “puny god” people called names back on Asgard - and his sheer might made you quiver.
Just what kind of monster had he become, and why?
“L-Loki, please...” you tried to appeal to the last bit of humanity  he might possess, and your begging made his guts twist in agony. “You’re scaring me.”
“You better be scared!” he exclaimed, grabbing you by the chin and forcing you to look at him. “No matter what disgracefully weak “alter ego” of me you knew, I am built different. Stronger. Better. Everyone in the Nine Realms fears me, and I desire nothing else! Everything distracting me from fulfilling my destiny and reign over you dull creatures I got rid of. You’re nothing more than an insect I might as well crush right here and now!”
Choking on a sob, he tried to relish that last chance he got to admire you, smell you, touch what he cannot possess...no matter how many universes there may be.
A flood of tears cracked down your face at his words, yet you couldn’t be helped.
No matter what he would say - he looked just like him.
And that was enough for you to feel alive after such a long time of being a walking dead. There had to be a reason you landed right at his home, of all places in this universe. You had a connection, both of you felt it ever since you had been transported here.
"May I ask-” you disrupted yourself, awaiting some reaction. But the conqueror had seemed to have spoken what he thought important to say, not declining your question at all.
Whenever he seemed fit, he could disintegrate you - yet right now, this situation was way too intriguing.
“What happened to myself in this reality?”
Loki swallowed harshly, letting go off of you as he threw you down the stairs. He wouldn’t even bide you one look as he tried to surpress the turmoil of emotion still running through his veins, desperately keeping it from breaking free.
The outcome would always be the same: Suffering, for both of you.
“And if death was coming for you
I’d give my life for you.”
He only ever wanted it to stop hurting. To become unfeeling, since love had always been poisoning his mind, sometimes being gifted with it even though he knew he would never be worthy of anything else than disgust and hate.
And that contradiction caused him to throw away anything good that happened to him, through you. Let it be taken away from him just shortly after finally learning to remotely enjoy.
You deserved the truth, a reason to hate him even more than you probably already did.
Had you only come to his salvation earlier, then he might have been helped - yet now, he was beyond redemption. Broken. Sick. Dangerous.
And when the Chitauri dragged you away, his last words let your blood run cold:
“She died through my hands.”
_____
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yelena-bellova · 3 years
Text
Don't Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Thirty One
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Chapter Thirty One: Hide and Secrets
Plot: Reeling from the loss of Chewbacca, the group travels to Kijimi in hopes of retrieving a vital piece of information...
Series Masterlist
Warnings: graphic description of violence/injuries, violent intrusive thoughts, blood, language, choking, we're not here to have a good time people so lots of angst today,
Word Count: 7.2k
A/N: Even though the rest of the series is going to be brutal, this is the last episode where there's even a little bit of a breather. Related to that, we're so close to the end and I'm not sure how to process that 🥺 Hope you enjoy!!
----
When I finally dried my tears and went about summoning the same strength I had when losing Dad and my uncle, I exited the refresher. Finn and Rey stood in the main hold, Rey jumped to her feet, rubbing her typically sweaty palms against her pants.
“Y/n,” she quickly said, “I know that it will never be enough, but I-“ “Rey,” I held up two hands as I stopped in front of my distraught friend, “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know you could do that, right?” She rapidly shook her head, “No, I had no idea.” “Then,” I sadly shrugged my shoulders, “I can’t be mad at you, you’d have never meant to hurt Chewie.” The tears in her eyes still welled regardless of my forgiveness. “I really am sorry,” she whispered, her throat catching with sorrow.
I pulled her into my arms and the two of us embraced, sharing in what little comfort could be taken in the moment. The unsettling feeling of secrecy was what caused me to pull back, my hands still rested on Rey’s shoulders as I scanned her face.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I stated, watching as her eyes became fearful before turning my gaze to Finn, “The same goes for you. What's going on?” Rey’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, whether a truth or a lie had been building on her lips was a loss to find out as Poe marched out of the cockpit. “We’ve only got eight hours left, so what are we gonna do?”
“This isn’t over,” I whispered to Rey, dropping my hands and turning to the group. “What can we do?” Finn said hopelessly, “We gotta get back to base.”
“We don’t have time to go back,” Poe argued, “We are not giving up. If we do that, Chewie died for nothing.” “Poe, Chewie had the dagger,” Finn replied.
I spoke up, “Yeah, but there has to be some other way.”
“Well, there isn’t,” Finn responded, “That was the only clue to the wayfinder thing and it’s gone.” I frustratedly rubbed my hands over my face and left them there, our problems were no easier to face in the self-inflicted darkness.
“So true,” 3PO said from the corner he stood in, “The inscription lives only in my memory now.”
I spread two of my fingers for my eyes to peek out, “Come again?" “The inscription of the dagger is stored in my memory banks,” he answered, “But the translation from a forbidden language cannot be retrieved. That is short of a complete redacted memory bypass.”
“A complete what?” Finn asked.
“It’s a terribly dangerous and sinful act performed on unwitting droids by dregs and criminals,” 3PO replied, turning away as if the whole idea was entirely out of the question.
Finn’s head whipped to Poe and I, “Let’s do that!” Determined as ever, Poe’s eyes sparked that familiar flame once again. “I know a black market droidsmith.” “Black market droidsmith?” 3PO echoed incredulously.
“But he’s on Kijimi,” Poe said, throwing his head back defeatedly. “What’s wrong with Kijimi?” I asked.
“I had a little bad luck on Kijimi,” Poe made every effort to not look any of us in the eye, “But if this mission fails, it’s all been for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time…” he finally looked up at me, nudging my arm with one of his gloved fingers, “3PO’s your and Leia’s droid, you’re the only one here that can give permission to do this.” I sighed and looked over at the droid I was so used to disappointing throughout my life. “We can’t quit now,” I said, “For Chewie.” Finn rose from his seat and nodded confidently before taking my hand, “For Chewie.”
Rey, who still looked every bit as guilty as she thought she should be, stood next and took Finn’s outstretched hand. “For Chewie.”
Poe looked down at my empty hand and back up at me, I held it out for him signaling that we weren’t currently at the odds we had been the last time we’d spoken. The warmth of his palm radiated through his leather glove and he ever so slightly squeezed, the only comfort he could provide me with in such a desperate hour. I’d take whatever I could get.
3PO shuffled over to us, taking Poe’s other hand in his in silent agreement with my decision. At the gesture, Poe visibly became uncomfortable, the list of people he was okay with being openly affectionate with began and ended with me. “Kijimi!” he announced, letting go off both our hands and heading back for the cockpit.
I wasn’t far behind, assuming the role of copilot as I sat down next to him. “You’ve never mentioned Kijimi, not even once,” I said, awaiting his answer that wasn’t going to come, “What are you hiding from me, Dameron?”
My question was enough to drag his eyes away from the controls to meet mine, a look I couldn’t decipher in them. He wasn’t fearful, he wasn’t angry, but he certainly didn’t appreciate me bringing up whatever misfortune he’d run into on Kijimi. “Thrusters a go?” he asked, ignoring my curiosity.
As I mumbled my confirmation, I settled into my chair at great unease knowing that I wasn’t the only one keeping secrets from my friends. We all were.
——
Kijimi was cold and unforgiving, much like the stormtroopers that roamed the planet’s streets.
The First Order was banging on every door and questioning every life form they could. All of us, save Poe, were hidden on one side of a building, waiting for my boyfriend to return from scouting out the territory for a safe path to wherever it was we were going. His jacketed figure finally made its way back to our group, I could see his frown even with the terrible lighting. “They’re everywhere,” he reported, “All right, I know what we should do.” “So do I,” 3PO interrupted, “We should leave.”
I placed a hand over where the droid’s mouth would be if he were human, “Now is not the time.” “Follow me,” Poe ordered, leading us down the street towards our unknown destination. Though only unknown to us, Poe navigated the way with as much ease as he did the jungle of Ajan Kloss. He’d clearly spent a lot of his time on Kijimi. “All right,” he stopped our group against another wall, “Let’s head down this way.”
A cocked blaster pressed against his head stopped any further movement.
“Heard you were spotted at Monk’s Gate,” a modulated female voice said, “Thought, ‘He’s not stupid enough to come back here.’” “Oh, you’d be surprised,” Poe replied, his voice somehow audibly displaying both nervousness and cockiness.
The blaster I kept on my hip was off its holster and in my hand with speed that even surprised me. “I don’t know who the hell you are, but it’s in your best interest to lower the gun,” I said, my voice steely as I aimed my weapon at the gold helmet the woman wore.
“What’s going on?” Finn asked, one step behind me and ready to fight if necessary for Poe’s life. “Guys, this is Zorii,” Poe awkwardly made introductions, the barrel of the blaster still against his temple, “Zorii, this is Rey and Finn and,” he blindly gestured to me, “That’s Y/n.”
“I could pull this trigger right now,” Zorii threatened. “I’ve seen you do worse,” Poe replied quickly. “For a lot less…” “Can we just…” in a bold move, Poe turned and removed his hood, sporting the smallest smirk as he cautiously eyed the woman, “Talk about this?” “I wanna see your brains in the snow…” Zorii answered, not taking kindly to his diplomacy.
“You make one move and I’ll give everybody a display of just that,” I growled, ignoring both the Jedi way and my wondering just how well Poe knew this woman, there was an ease between their back and forth that stirred an almost jealous feeling in me…
“So you’re still mad?” Poe asked, “Zorii, we could use your help. We gotta crack this droid’s head open and fast.” An indignant 3PO spoke up, “Pardon me!” Poe ignored him, “We’re trying to find Babu Frik.” “Babu? Babu only works for the crew,” Zorii answered, seemingly unthreatened by my steady hand and pointed blaster, “That’s not you anymore.”
“What crew?” Rey asked.
My eyes flicked to Poe, watching him shake his head rapidly before silently admitting defeat to the truth Zorii couldn’t be stopped from sharing. “Funny, he never mentioned it…your friend’s old job was running spice.”
“You were a spice runner?” Finn asked, almost as surprised as I was.
Poe was quick to deflect the unflattering light that was being shed on him, “You were a stormtrooper?” “Were you a spice runner?” Rey echoed the question.
“Were you a scavenger? We could do this all night.” “You don’t have all night,” Zorii said as she began to stalk around us, her blaster still trained on Poe, “You know I’m still digging out of the hole you put me in when you left to join the Resistance,” her head tilted in Rey’s direction before looking back at me, “You two. You’re the ones they’re looking for. Bounty for them might just cover us.” I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know that the two bodies that had followed Zorii were slowly making their way towards us, I met Rey’s eyes quickly and gave an almost imperceptible nod.
“Djak’kankah!” Zorii shouted. “Don’t djak’kankah,” Poe hurried from beside me.
In synch, Rey pulled her staff out from behind her back and I tossed my blaster to Finn to unsheathe my lightsaber. Rey knocked Zorii to the ground while I made work of fatally damaging Zorii’s comrade’s weapons. Within seconds, they’d all been taken care of and I turned to see Rey had her saber pointed at Zorii’s body with the latter aiming their gun at my fellow padawan.
“We could really use your help,” Rey said, nicer than I could have ever been in such a situation, “Please.” “Not that you care,” Zorii said, her chest heaving from the fight as she looked between the both of us, “But I think you’re alright.” “I care,” Rey replied, deactivating her blade and extending a hand to Zorii.
“Quit threatening him” I said, nodding towards a slightly stunned Poe, “And we won’t have a problem.” Zorii, in fact, proved to be anything but a problem. She led us down a back way to a trader’s den, confidently marching in as if she owned the place. For all I knew, maybe she did. I didn’t know the woman or how she knew my boyfriend, whom it seemed I also didn’t know. Poe had kept an entire chunk of his life hidden from me all the years that I’d known him and something about that hurt. However, with 3PO hooked up to a multitude of wires, I was trying my best to focus on the matters at hand. “I haven’t the faintest idea why I agree to this,” the droid said from his seated position, “I must be malfunctioning,” Babu Frik, the little alien that Poe had known once upon a time worked on one of 3PO’s wires, causing him to repeat himself, “I must be malfunctioning.”
“You agreed to this because it’s our only option,” I said from my spot next to him, “You do this and you’re a hero to the galaxy.” “Babu Frik?” Rey asked the small droid mechanic, “Can you help us with this?’ He gave an answer in a language none of us could understand, causing Rey to look elsewhere for a translation. “Zorii? Is this gonna work?” Zorii moved from her position on the steps with Poe, the two of them having warmed up to each other a little too fast for my liking. She posed a question in Babu Frik’s tongue, the creature answering back in his naturally slow manner. “He says he’s found something in your droid’s forbidden memory bank. Words translated from Sith.” “That’s it!” I exclaimed, patting 3PO’s metal shoulder. “Yeah, that’s what we need,” Finn echoed my excitement from behind Rey and I.
“Who are you hanging out with that speaks Sith?” Zorii questioned Poe, who was making his way down to stairs to come into the same space. “Babu, can you make him translate it?” he asked.
Babu answered.
“Yes,” Zorii translated, “But it will cause a complete-“ “A complete memory wipe,” 3PO finished.
My eyes widened, “A what?”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Poe held up a hand, “We make him translate it, he won’t remember…anything?”
“Droid memory go blank,” Babu answered, speaking enough of our language to confirm Poe’s question, “Blank, blank.” “There must be another way!” 3PO exclaimed, I was still too in shock to form words. “Doesn’t R2 back up your memory?” Finn asked.
“Oh, please, R2’s storage units are famously unreliable.”
“No,” I finally found my voice and announced it to the room, “I’m calling it. We’re not doing this, I’m sorry, but we’re gonna have to find another way.” “Y/n…” Poe started, carefully tiptoeing around the impending explosion of emotions I was about to have. “Nope, not happening,” I continued, “I’m not losing anyone else. Babu, thank you for your time, start putting him back together.” Rey gently grasped my arm, “Y/n…” 3PO, for all his shortcomings, was one of the steadiest presences in my life. He hadn’t been just a faithful servant to me and my family, he’d been my most dependable friend. There had been too many losses in the Resistance in the past year and fresh off of Chewie’s death, I wasn’t prepared to let another piece of my family go.
And if the very fate of the galaxy didn’t depend on getting the damned inscription, I’d have allowed myself to be selfish.
Slowly turning away from Rey, I came to stand in front of where 3PO sat hooked up to Babu’s machines. “Do we have a choice in this?” I asked softly, my mouth suddenly feeling unreasonably dry.
The droid processed for a moment before rising from his seat and taking a few steps away from us. “If this mission fails, it was all for nothing. All we’ve done, all this time…” 3PO turned and faced our group, staring silently at us all.
“What are you doing there, 3PO?” Poe asked.
“Taking one last look, sir,” he answered, “At my friends.”
I shut my eyes, my wet lashes dropping a tear or two down my cheeks as the sentiment hit me. “Go ahead,” I whispered, giving Babu the authority to do what needed to be done.
Noise from outside broke the moment. “Night raids are gonna start soon,” Zorii stated, “I’ll keep lookout.”
“I’m coming with you,” Poe said, chasing after her departing figure in a surprising turn of events. I dragged my tearful eyes away from my soon to be amnesic droid to my boyfriend who wasn’t sparing any glances my way.
“You still don’t trust me?” Zorii asked.
“Did you ever trust me?” my boyfriend fired back as they climbed the staircase together.
“Nope.” My eyes remained trained on the last spot where Poe had been visible to me before he disappeared with the mystery woman. It didn’t matter, the hurt and anger I felt with Poe for leaving me as I readied myself to say goodbye to 3PO wouldn’t change with knowing their history together. But damn it all if I didn’t want to slap Poe a little for not choosing to stay with me rather than go with Zorii. I could feel Rey and Finn’s concerned eyes through the back of my head, I didn’t have to turn around to showcase my jealousy.
“It’s fine,” I lied, clenching my fists at my sides, “He can do whatever the hell he wants, we’ve got bigger concerns.” I walked back over to where 3PO was once again seated, Babu already preparing him for the procedure. “Thanks for…” I wrapped two arms around the gold droid’s neck, “Everything.”
One metal arm patted my back awkwardly, hugs weren’t exactly something we typically exchanged. “You are most welcome, Mistress Y/n. Your companionship had brought me a great many joys throughout our years together.” There was nothing more to be said, or rather there was so much more and not enough time to say it. I backed away to let Babu do his work and stepped to the side, occupying the space next to Finn and keeping a watchful eye as the creature began to operate on my droid. Bee and D-O, the abandoned droid Bee had discovered and activated on the ship, watched from the opposite side of the room as well. Minutes went by without a word, the only sound in the room was Babu’s tools picking and prodding at the inside of 3PO’s head.
“Oh, I just had an idea,” 3PO eventually said, “There’s something else we could try-“ We’d never know what he’d been thinking as Babu hit the correct circuit and 3PO lost power. Finn reached a hand around my back to land on my shoulder as I flinched, the sight of him switched off not by his own accord a little hard on me. Rey took the time to excuse herself and push past us, going to check on Bee and D-O.
“You don’t have to watch, y’know…” Finn said, “If it’s too much…” “No,” I shook my head, my eyes still on the droid whose loyalty I could only hope to match, “I’m staying with him.” There was a pregnant pause between the two of us before Finn took a breath, “Can I ask you a question?” “I’ll answer yours if you answer mine…” I replied.
“What’s going on with you and Poe?” I sighed and crossed my arms, taking a defensive position as if I could shield myself from the reality of the topic. “Nothing good…” I answered, “Things have been rough lately.” Taking his time to handle the weight of my answer, he couldn’t stop himself from asking a followup. “You guys are gonna be okay though, right?”
Emotions had run high all day, the moment we were in was no exception. I’d liked to have blamed the tears that stung my eyes on saying goodbye to 3PO, but I couldn’t lie to myself. Poe and I were drifting apart and that struck a deeper fear in me than I’d ever known.
I cleared my throat, the thought of admitting my feelings out loud wasn’t one I was ready to handle. “Sorry, no follow ups. My turn…What’s your secret?” I’d hit the target just as I’d intended to, though I still wasn’t sure what I was searching for. Whatever it was, I could sense that Finn was desperate to tell somebody. “I can’t…I can’t tell you here,” he finally relented from secrecy in its entirety, “Later.”
Nodding in response, I watched him leave to go find where Rey and the droids had wandered off to. I stayed silent as I watched Babu try to access whatever apart of 3PO’s circuits the inscription lay in. I decided that once we returned to our ship, I’d try to get word to Mom and give her an update. She was undoubtably worried by now and she didn’t need to wonder any longer than necessary.
The hatch at the top of the staircase opened to reveal Zorii and Poe. “There’s an incoming destroyer,” Zorii announced.
“We gotta go now, did we get it?” Poe asked.
“Wouldn’t have to ask if you’d have stayed,” I mumbled to myself, just loud enough that he could possibly hear it. “Babu?” “Yep, droid is ready!” Babu answered back, making one final adjustment to 3PO to make the droid’s eyes turn red and his torso to sit straight up. I jumped back at the unsettling sight.
“The Emperor’s wayfinder is in the Imperial vault,” a voice that definitely didn’t belong to the beloved droid informed us, “At delta 3-6, transient 9-3-6, variant 3-2 on a moon in the Endor system. From the southern shore. Only this blade tells. Only this blade tells.” With an exclaim, Babu shut 3PO off again and he fell back in his chair.
“The Endor system,” Finn said, “Where the last war ended?”
An overhead rumbling that shook the ceiling of the workshop caused us all to look up, Rey was only slightly ahead of me as we made our way up the stairs fearlessly to open the hatch. The average being wouldn’t have been able to tell the ominous Star Destroyer having in the sky apart from any other, but Rey and I weren’t average. “It’s him…” I muttered.
“Ren’s Destroyer.” “He’s here?” Poe asked from below. I was suddenly struck with an overwhelming sensation, different than the empathetic pain I felt when one was injured or the unfortunate attacks I’d been suffering from lately. This was warmth and familiarity and…family.
“Rey,” I stuck a hand out and blindly reached for her, “It’s Chewie.” Sensing the same thing I was, she repeated his name hopefully.
“What about him?” Finn asked. “He’s on the ship” I answered, my voice cracking with emotion, “He’s alive.” “What? How?” Poe asked in disbelief.
“He’s alive!” Rey exclaimed, “He must’ve been on a different transport.” “We gotta go get him,” Finn stated, as if it wasn’t what we were all thinking.
I bounded down the steps with a newfound joy, something I’d thought was impossible to find in our situation. “No time to waste, let’s pack it up!” I said, moving around Zorii towards 3PO. As soon as I landed at the droid’s side, he sat up. “Might I introduce myself,” he said, “I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations,” he looked around the room at the various faces, “And you are?” “Okay, that’s gonna be a problem,” Poe commented, pointing at the droid.
“Okay,” I rubbed my eyes out of stress before placing to hands on 3PO’s arm, “I promise I will explain everything to you but right now, we don’t have the time so I’m gonna need you to trust us. Now,” I bent down and grabbed his discarded coat, “Put this on and follow us.” “Trust you? When I don’t even know who you are? I don’t see-“ “I’m your master, okay?” I hurriedly pulled the protocol droid to his feet and started shoving his arms into the jacket, “And if you want to live, you’ll listen to me when I say we need to get the hell out of here.”
Begrudgingly, the droid followed along as our group hurried out of Babu Frik’s workshop and into the snowy streets of Kijimi. I could sense Ren’s incoming presence, causing me to urge us all to move faster.
“3PO, move your metal ass!” Poe said frustratedly as we closed in on where our ship was parked, “We’re almost there.” “How dare you,” he exclaimed, “We’ve only just met!” Rey, Finn, the droids and I rushed between two buildings before I noticed that Poe and Zorii had hung behind. I stopped and watched the two share an exchange I couldn’t make out, Zorii shoved something into Poe’s hand just before I heard the sound of a ship overhead. Ren.
“We need to go!” I shouted annoyedly, when Poe made no effort to end their conversation, I rolled my eyes and shoved Rey and Finn forward, “Go, he’ll catch up.” We made our way to the ship and loaded in, I seated myself in the pilot’s chair, taking it upon myself to get us where we needed to be. Poe eventually made his way to the cockpit just as I was making the final checks.
“Nice of you to finally join us, Dameron,” I retorted as I lifted us off the ground, “I’m sure making chit chat with old flames was more important than getting our asses off this snowy wasteland.”
Poe tossed a coin shaped token into my lap without a word, I picked it up and upon inspection identified it as a First Order captain’s medallion. It was a surefire way to get us aboard the Destoryer when there’d previously been no plan. Connecting the dots that it was Zorii who had given it to him, I decided it was in everybody’s best interest if I stopped talking.
Once we made it up to the meaning ship, a First Order officer came over the comms and asked for our identification. I slipped the medallion into the slot with Poe, Finn and Rey anxiously positioned around me. We all held our breath as we awaited confirmation that we’d been granted passage. I exhaled forcefully when the message came through, “We’re clear, hanger 12.” Together, and yet entirely separate, Poe and I navigated the ship into the designated landing zone without any problems. I jumped out of my seat and threw my snow jacket off. Ren was still on Kijimi, clearly unable to sense that we were no longer there, which would buy us time. Not much, but hopefully enough to retrieve Chewie and chart a course to Endor safely.
The four of us bounded down the ramp of the ship and fired our blasters at the stormtroopers demanding our credentials plus a few that waited from a distance. “You three, stay there!” Rey ordered the droids.
“Happily!” 3PO called back. “Which way?” Poe asked Finn, the only one of us who had a decent shot at navigating the foreign ship.
“No idea,” he disappointedly answered, “Follow me!” We obeyed his command and let him lead on, we maneuvered down a great many hallways as stealthily as we could. Eventually once we heard the marching footsteps of a group of troopers, we ducked between panels that stuck out of the wall and hid till they passed. We darted out and made our way down another hall, taking cues from Finn, until we turned around to come face to face with two stormtroopers.
“Drop your weapons!” one of them ordered. While Finn and Poe immediately held out their hands for the troopers to see, Rey took a brave step forward. “It’s okay that we’re here,” she said smoothly, waving a hand in a semi circle.
A beat of silence passed before the stormtroopers lowered their weapons obediently, “It’s okay that you’re here.” “It’s good…”
“You’re relieved that we’re here,” I added, waving my hand in a matching manner.
“Thank goodness you’re here.” “Welcome, guys.” “We’re looking for a prisoner and his belongings,” Rey continued, the supposed guards giving up the information all too willingly. We wasted no time in leaving them behind and making for where they’d said Chewie’s was. Upon finding out the specific type of cell he was being held in was meant for torture, I strode with a new urgency.
“They said Chewie’s this w-“ I started, before losing all words and clutching the wall as the familiar splitting pain entered my head.
The flames had grown closer.
The screams echoed louder.
A well known animalistic cry filled my ears.
With a blood red lightsaber in my hand extended, I turned to see Chewbacca’s body laid out on the ground, his chest rising and falling deathly slow, lightsaber wounds marking his hairy body.
“Don’t be afraid,” the deep voice of Ren came from behind me, “You know exactly what you’re capable of.” I bit down on my lip so hard that I could taste blood in an attempt to stifle the scream that was trying its hardest to escape my mouth. The pain couldn’t die fast enough once the attack ceased, Ren’s voice still echoing in my mind like it was a cavern. “Y/n,” Poe was quick to steady me as my legs went out from underneath me, “Are you okay? What the hell was that?” Another secret was what it was. I’d managed to keep my hellish conscious nightmares hidden from him over the last few months. “I’m f-fine,” I panted, shrugging off his helpful hands as I rose to my feet shakily, “Finn,” I waved my blaster towards the control panel, “The doors.” He listened to me and went to work on unlocking them, I ignored Poe’s sudden concern for me and focused on Rey, who had separated herself from us. “What is it?” I asked in between heaving breaths, my heart rate sky high as the images of my dead friend still danced in my head.
“The dagger is on this ship,” she said, “We need it.” “Why?” Poe asked as he approached her, I stayed leaned up against the wall. “A feeling,” Rey answered, “I’ll meet you back at the hanger.” “I’m coming with you,” I stated, pushing off the wall in a sad attempt to follow after her.
“Y/n, you can barely walk, you need to get back to the ship,” Poe said, catching my forearm in his hand in hopes I wouldn’t slip out of his grasp. “You’re not in charge of me, Poe,” I bit back at him a little harsher than called for as I pulled my arm out of his grip and started off in Rey’s direction, “You two go and get Chewie.” Poe frustratedly sighed, “Look, I’m just trying to help you.” “Yeah, well,” I turned and locked eyes with him, “Don’t.” Without waiting see his reaction and before I had the sense to apologize for my hurtful words, I turned away and stumbled after Rey. Eventually I caught up to her and the two of us jogged through the Destroyer. I trusted that she knew where she was going, unlike my distrust of the nightmare’s physical effects on me. It had never happened before and the worry I felt was more than justified.
Almost as soon as I regained the ability to run and feel like my legs weren’t going to fail me, the air I breathed was sucked out of my lungs and I let out a stifled cry. Someone nearby had gotten injured. “Was it one of them?” Rey asked, concern overwhelming her tone. “It must’ve been,” I replied, bracing my hands against my knees and inhaling deeply, “But they’re okay. C’mon, we gotta go.” “They’re getting worse,” she said, broaching the topic I wanted so desperately to avoid, “Your attacks.”
“We’re not talking about this right now,” I snapped, my patience slipping away quicker than I could control, “I’m fine, now let’s go.”
We made the rest of the journey in silence, if my head wasn’t in such a fog I would have felt sorry for how I’d reacted to the care Rey and Poe had tried to show me. My logic felt buried beneath my fear, my guilt over a crime I hadn’t actually committed clouding my mind. It had been so vivid, Chewie laid out on the ground with a lightsaber hole burning through his sternum. My reasoning for leaving Finn and Poe to rescue the Wookiee had been twofold, not only would Rey need my help if she’d sensed something, but I didn’t want to go near Chewie at the moment.
Rey and I stepped through a door to a pure white room, a stark contrast to the dark color scheme of the rest of the ship. Descending the steps, I scanned the room for Chewie’s belongings but found something I’d never expected to lay eyes on. Rey saw it too, both of us taking slow and curious steps towards it.
The charred remnants of Darth Vader’s helmet.
I could feel the darkness, the pain associated with the armor and was lost as to how it could possibly have survived. How could it have ended up here? Anakin’s body, as my mother had told me once, had been burned on Endor at the end of the war by Luke. It was impossible, but our lives were made up of impossible so perhaps it wasn’t so imperceivable.
Turning away from the helmet, Rey and I spotted Chewie’s bandoleer, his bowcaster and the dagger. Rey grabbed the dagger while I took the other items and slung them over my shoulder, my friend stared down at the dagger and it didn’t take Jedi skills to sense her confusion, her fear. “What is it?” I asked quietly, not wanting to startle her out of whatever daze she was in. Regardless of my efforts, she jumped with a gasp and whipped around to face the empty expanse of the room. “Rey?”
Her brown eyes were locked onto something that wasn’t there, at least not to me. “You’re hard to get rid of…” she said, her voice low.
“Excuse me?” I furrowed my brow, confused as she turned back to the task at hand of gathering Chewie’s objects, “What-“
She stayed silent except for the sound of her lightsaber activating, she faced the room once again with anger painted across her features. “You’re lying…” she seethed.
It didn’t take me long to figure out what was transpiring before me, it was the force bond Rey had told me so much about. We had researched it, pouring over the Jedi texts for any possible answer as to why her and Ren were seemingly tied to one another. We’d been unsuccessful so far and Rey had been forced to experience unexpected connections with him. It was surreal to watch it take place, some conversation taking place in a realm I couldn’t enter with the person I’d been trying to reach for months.
“I don’t want this,” Rey said through her tears before letting out a cry and wielding the saber in a battle with the air. She froze as if her weapon had hit something, possibly Ren’s blade. I wanted nothing more than to jump into the fight and aid her as she broke away from her opponent. “Stop talking,” she demanded before continuing the fight. My hands were metaphorically tied behind my back and all I could do was stand there and wait for the moment to end.
My gut twisted as I got the distinct feeling that something was wrong on the other side of the ship, Finn and Poe were in danger. I couldn’t be in both places at once helping everybody and that killed me. If Rey and Ren’s connection didn’t break soon, I’d have to make the call to run like hell through the ship and find the others.
“Rey, we need to go,” I called, loud enough to hopefully break through her concentration.
“No!” she yelled, once again not directed at me. She expertly swung her lightsaber around, accidentally driving it into the pedestal and shattering the stand that displayed Vader’s helmet. Unfortunately, the fight still didn’t come to its end and Rey and the metaphysical Ren continued their assault on one another until eventually, Rey stumbled backwards signaling that the connection had been broken.
I came to her side, “What did he say?”
“He’s coming,” Rey answered, not quite present as she absorbed whatever he had told her.
“Shit,” I breathed, it wouldn’t take him long to get from Kijimi to the ship, “We need to go.”
Carrying Chewie’s things, we retraced our steps back to the ship as fast as we could. Suddenly faced with the reality of being in Ren’s presence, I wasn’t sure how I felt. All I knew for certain was we needed to find Poe and Finn immediately and leave before I discovered my true feelings. We made it back to the hanger and found the droids surrounded by troopers interrogating them. I aimed Chewie’s bowcaster at them and took out two while Rey disposed of the rest with her own blaster.
“Oh dear, my first laser battle,” 3PO commented, astonished. Had we not been in such a rush, I made have spared a second to laugh.
“Where are the others?” Rey urgently asked.
“They haven’t come back,” he answered.
“You two stay here,” I pointed towards the spacecraft as I began to step away from them, “I’m gonna go find them.” It was wasted effort, the familiar sound of Ren’s TIE Interceptor came roaring into the hanger. I froze in my spot the short distance away from Rey and the droids, knowing that where I needed to be had been decided for me.
“Find them,” Rey said to 3PO.
He scurried over to me and I placed the bowcaster and Chewie’s bandoleer in the his care, sending him on his way to retrieve Finn and Poe with D-O and Bee at his feet. I turned my attention to the figure emerging from the Interceptor, Rey stood directly across from him while I split the difference between them. My better judgement told me not to extend my lightsaber, that it wasn’t going to be that kind of fight. I needed to wait for the right moment. Even as the battalion of stormtroopers descended into the hanger, I kept my weapon holstered. I was apprehended by two of them, the long-standing fight for my capture finally over. As they pulled me back and handcuffed my wrists, I held eye contact with Ren, or at least where his eyes lay underneath his helmet. This was the closest we’d been the one another since our fight on Crait. The sick familiarity of him was anything but comforting, and yet there was a part of me that needed to hear him speak. He’d gone dark on me for too long and I needed to know what was going on in his head.
He shifted his focus to Rey, the two of them circling one another in some sort of silent showdown. Finally, they stopped, Rey closest to the edge of the hanger where with one miscalculated step, she could meet an unfortunate end. “Why did the Emperor come for me?” she asked, succeeding in confusing me, “Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.” “Because he saw what you would become,” Ren answered, “You don’t just have power. You have his power. You’re his granddaughter. You are a Palpatine.”
It seemed like to world stopped for a minute, everything we were fighting for and against was swept away with the wind like stray grains of sand on Tatooine. Shock wasn’t a strong enough word to describe what I was feeling, my chest constricting and my mind spinning. It couldn’t be true.
“My mother was the daughter of Vader,” Ren began.
I couldn’t stand to listen to him soil the legacy of the woman I loved most in the galaxy, “You don’t breathe a word about-“ My rage was slayed as soon as it had been born as a nearby Stormtrooper drove the butt of his blaster into my abdomen, causing me to cough and choke as oxygen was forcefully knocked from my body. I groaned at the spreading pain, clenching my eyes shut while trying to still listen to the conversation happening in front of me.
“Your father was the son of the Emperor,” Ren continued his speech, “What Palpatine doesn’t know is we’re a dyad in the Force, Rey. Two that are one. We’ll kill him together and take the throne.”
“Rey,” I breathed, fighting through the throbbing pain in my abdomen, “He’s lying, don’t listen to him.” Ren blindly reached an open hand behind him and closed off my airways, choking me from afar and effectively shutting me up. “You know what you need to do,” he said, turning back to Rey and ignoring the sounds of struggle I was making to construct any sort of breath I could.
Words couldn’t be formed but I mentally urged Rey, begged her not to listen to the utter shit Ren was feeding her. As my vision began to grow grainy, I heard the faint sounds of the Falcon, my beloved ship, and was convinced that death was calling me. But as I opened my bloodshot eyes and witnessed her make a grand arrival, I felt new life surge through me. The pilot, undoubtably Poe, backed up to the edge of the hanger and hit the thrusters, sending a wave of energy into the room that caused each Stormtrooper to slide across the floor. Ren dropped his hold on me and I took my first wheezy breath just as the two troopers holding me in position lost their grip on my body. I moved against the currents until I was parallel with Rey, Finn was standing on the Falcon’s ramp ready to rescue us. Rey was the first to jump, sending Ren one last look that I couldn’t understand before she leapt into the air and Finn pulled her in.
I turned to the Supreme Leader, my hands cuffed in front of me, and my will as strong as ever. He’d invaded my mind countless times since he’d reestablished our connection through the Force, for once we were going do things on my terms. “I want you to look in my head and tell me what you see,” I shouted over the noise of the ship, he was a little too eager to accept the invitation. Once he was in, I filled my brain with every image I had of my grandfather, stating with each and every thought that I was a Kenobi. I was now an even bigger threat to him and his regime. When I reopened my eyes, I took satisfaction in the surprise painted across his pale face. For once, Kylo Ren was speechless. I gave a breathless smirk before turning around and jumping off the edge of the platform, Rey assisted in pulling me in by way of the Force while Finn caught me. The three of us ran up the ramp and into the heart of the ship.
“Rey, don’t-“ I began, trying to preemptively pull my friend out of the blame she was inevitably going to place on herself because of her recently discovered lineage. It was of no use, she stormed off away from Finn and I as quick as she could to process the news privately. Finn was confused and I didn’t have the time or the right to explain the situation to him. “Bee, help get me out of these,” I called, the little droid speedily rolling down the hall at my command and following me to the cockpit. When I arrived, I found Poe and Chewie sending us to lightspeed. I should have wanted to throw my arms around the Wookiee, had I been able to, but after my nightmarish attack wherein I had been responsible for his gruesome death, I felt the need to keep my distance. I should have wanted to run to Poe, to take comfort in his embrace as I recounted what had happened while we were separated. All I felt when I looked at him currently was frustration.
“Are you okay?” I asked, even my anger couldn’t override my concern for his wellbeing.
“Fine,” he replied coldly, not bothering to look my way as he finished up with the controls of the Falcon, “You?” He was lying. I could see crimson red on his arm staining his cream colored shirt. He was the one I’d sensed got hurt. I wanted to help him in any way I could but I suspected he was being refusing my help in retaliation for me refusing his. I swallowed, ignored the pain from my already bruising abdomen and sat down to let Bee work on removing my cuffs, “Fine.” Oh, how badly I wanted to tell him that things were so very far from fine.
----
A/N: If you thought this was bad, just wait for the next chapter...(sorry not sorry 🙈) Let men now if you'd like to be tagged and as always, thanks for reading!!
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heliosthegriffin · 3 years
Text
A blade should be sharp at all times
Marrows up to the group, his tail wagging ecstatically behind him: You guys want to play a prank on Juan?
Ren and Nora’s eyes narrow, but they say nothing.
Flynt, Cobalt, Ivory, Neon, Yang and Elm all look at him with obvious interest.
Harriet snorts dismissively: Why would I want to bother the new meat? He’s got enough problems as it is.
Winter nods her head in agreement.
Marrow’s tail stops wagging, as he looks offended: Because it would be funny!
Harriet rolls her eyes and walks away.
Marrow: Fine, be that way!
He turns back to the more interested members of the room: So, what about you guys? Wanna hear it?
Ren says nothing and Nora motions for him to continue: Depends on what the prank is?
Yang nods along: Yeah, Xiao-Long as it’s nothing too mean to Milf-Magnet.
The rest of the room groans; while Yang absorbs the life-force they’ve lost to her pun.
Marrow smiles and continues: It’s nothing too out there, it’s just an old Atlas military tradition, to see how prepared a recruit is for field work.
Ren rubs his chin: I don’t know, Jaune and the rest of us have spent pretty of time in the field, he hardly ever leaves his armor, or his weapons besides when he cleans himself.
Marrows smile widens: That’s the idea!
Ren’s eyes widen in disbelief: You’re going to prank him in the showers?
Marrow doesn’t say a thing but his tail wags faster.
Ren groans and hold his face.
Nora though...
Her face splits into a manic grin as she starts cackling wildly, falling onto her back as she laughs so hard.
Ren shakes his head in leaves.
Marrow points his hand at Ren: STAY!
Ren freezes in place.
Marrow a little sheepishly: Uh, can’t have you spoiling the surpise, sorry.
Nora still keeps on laughing.
Ren’s pink eyes sparkle briefly, then a magenta pulse of aura breaks Marrows hold on him.
Marrows eyes widen in disbelief.
Ren rolls his neck and scowls at Marrow: Believe it or not, having strong aura control is just as important as a strong semblance.
Marrow falls to his knees, his tail desperately waving behind him: Please, please, don’t tell Joanna!
Ren shakes his head and leaves.
Nora: Don’t worry, he won’t say a thing or do anything, in fact, neither will I. Have fun kids.
Nora then follows Ren out.
The room goes silent.
Yang: Well, that’s ominous.
She then notices Winter is still in the room.
Yang: Why are you still here?
Winter huffs: To make sure you all don’t go too far with your ‘Prank’. I will observe and intervene should you all go to far.
Marrow cheers: Yay! Alright, everyone here is how it’ll work. Flynt, Ivory, and Cobalt, you three will being most of the legwork. Cobalt and Ivory, find Jaune and tell him he’s got special permission to use the Specialist private bathrooms, Flynt I want you to hide in the bathroom and use your semblance to make it seem like we’re under attack to scare him out.
Marrow takes a breath and turns to Neon, Yang and Elm: Here’s you girls is part, to really sell it I want you all to make sound noises and make it seem like you’re fighting, then when Joe runs out from the showers I’ll make his freeze, then you girls can throw cold water on him! He’ll be so embarrassed!
Ivory and Cobalt shrug, though Flynt, Neon and Yang seem a little put off.
Neon: I don’t know, seem a little mean spirited.
Flynt: Yeah, we’re not best friends and all, but I don’t want to embarrest the guy.
Yang scratches her chin: It doesn’t seem very, cool thing to do to a friend.
Elm though looked excited: Don’t worry! This is nothing, what’s a little nudity between comrades! If you’re out in the field and not prepared to fight at anytime, even naked, or if you get embarrassed by your comrades seeming you nude, you’re not cut out for being a Hunter. Hell, all of the Ace-Ops have done it. Even Winter!
The sound of a sword leaving it’s sheath rang out.
Winter says says menacingly. I made you promise to never speak of it again, all of you.
Elm: Oops.
Marrow waves them off: Whatever! Anyway this is just a rite of passage in Atlas, come on guys it’ll be a laugh.
The group thinks it over and eventually complies.
Marrow: Alright! Lets get this show on the road!
--------
Ivory and Cobalt escort Jaune through the halls.
Jaune: Wow, Gen. Ironwood really said I could use the Specialist Showers? That’s really kind of him!
Ivory nods and smiles: Gen. Ironwood always takes care of his own.
Cobalt taps Jaune’s shoulder and gives him a approving look. 
Cobalt: Deserve it, hard training and self-improvement are their own reward. But, Top Brass notice.
Jaune’s cheek glow slightly, a slight smile forming: Thanks, It really hard sometime, you know, to be able to see that I’ve improved, heh, no matter how much I feel like i’ve grown, I still feel like a waste of space and a burden on my team.
The group comes to a stop, Ivory and Cobalt looking slightly uncomfortable now.
Jaune turns around flashing them a pleasant grin, “Well, thanks guys. I’ll make sure to tell the General thanks, and that I won’t disappoint his trust for giving me a chance to be Huntsman.
Ivory and Cobalt say nothing and nod.
Jaune then enters the private bathroom.
Cobalt and Ivory look at each other.
Ivory: Are we the baddies?
Cobolt: Yes, but better him, than us.
Ivory sighs and taps his wrist, a small ringing occurs.
Ivory: The target is in position.
-------
Jaune walks through the state of the art bathroom humming a pleasent tune, completely unaware of the watching eyes on him.
He goes into a stall and undresses, the prying eyes losing sight of him.
Jaune then leaves the stall a towel wrapped around his waist and goes the hi-tech showers, another towel bundled in his arms.
Flynt watches Jaune enter the shower stall and sighs deeply, he liked Jaune, he really did, a decent guy all-around. But, if it kept others from seeing’s Flynt’s birthmark for another day, he would do what must be done.
He used his semblance, dividing himself into four copies of himself and then took off running inbetween the stalls.
Flynt x4: We’re under attack!
As Flynt came to the end of the room, he was not prepared for what happened next.
--------
Neon and Yang sparred with Elm in the changing room, where Jaune would have to enter to get dressed, trying to create as authenity as possible combat sounds.
Elm grabbed Yangs right hook and swung her into Neon.
Elm smiles: Got to be quicker than that.
Yang and Neon got off of each other and squared up for round two.
Marrow whispered yelled at them: It’s time! Get into postion, I just heard Flynt.
The girls and Elm nodded picking up bucket of ice-water while Marrow got ready to freeze Jaune. With Marrow having to stop himself from cracking up at the thought of Jaun’s expression.
Yang looked slightly recluntant, but the idea of a good prank won out.
Winter sighed in the corner ready to stop the prank if it goes to far, and hopefully preserve some decency.
The wall to the showers exploded out towards them, a spray of dust and stone and metal sharpnel covering the room, as heavy wet foot steps ran towards them as bellowing war howl echoed out from the destroyed room.
A figure running through the cloud of dust glowing a faint golden white, carrying a mechashifted sword in two hands over his head, the blade glowing blue from the hardlight dust along with gravity dust purple in the middle.
Jaune then leaps out of the dust howling: Just try and take them from me again you bastards! I’ll split you in twain, I’ll break you over my knees and slay you! I won’t let you take them from me again!
The group stands dazed as Jaune runs straight through them and through a wall, completely naked, his towel being shredding into binding that tied his meaty tube of a cock to his lower-thigh, while holding his sword overhead before slashing in front of him creating a hole for him to jump out into the campus.
A blush creeps up the faces of those present.
Marrow burst out laughing: That was amazing! Did anyone, get a picture?
Elm falls to her knees: I think I’m in love?
Neon shake her head sadly: No, I was too... Mesmerized.
Yang: So that’s why he wears two belts.
Winter...
Winter has disappeered.
------
Later that evening....
Atlas Reporter: A well-known Huntsman known as Jaune Arc has gone on a murderous Grimm-Hunting rampage all while streaking! What will those crazy kids think of next! Next on the block, pregnancy rates in Mantle having been climbing by over 750% over the last six hours, is this related to the previous new? The Answer may surprise you.
Ren flicks the Scroll-Box closed.
He then rests his head on Nora’s shoulder. 
Ren: Yep, it happened again.
Nora: We did nothign to stop it.
Ren: We could have warned them... But, better they learn first hand.
Nora: You did it because you thought it was funny, don’t you dare lie to me.
Ren smiles as he opens the scroll so that Nora can see, the Scroll showing a madly blushing Winter chasing after Jaune in a Bullhead, providing both aerial support, and firing t-shirt and boxer shorts at him, while he rampages through a horde of Grimm.
Ren smirking and pulling Nora close: You know me too well.
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Hello my lovelies!
Wow ok I’m sorry I know it’s been a while- I kinda got into a writing slump that wouldn’t let me out, however I’m feeling like I’m getting back into things! Yay!
I want to thank all of you for your continued support in my writing adventures, I seriously can’t describe how much it means to me when I get feedback and love on my work, one of my favorite things to do is make people happy- or really just feel anything- with my writing and I love hearing about it so thank you thank you THANK YOU!!! 🥰❤️
So, now I’m back with a gift! A very long fic that took me way to long to get around to finishing but I wanna share! So here, have this!!
Sorry if the length is too, well, lengthy 😅 I do so hope you enjoy it!
Edit: have added a cut due to length, read below!🥰❤️
Some Wicked Type of Love
Cardan stared down at the vial he held carefully, the greenish liquid sparkled as it sloshed around with the subtle shakes he gave it. This. This would fix everything.
“So, he just has to drink that? Nothing else?” Rhyia asked, unnerved. That unnerved Cardan, his elder sister was hardly ever shaken, so seeing her nervous about something didn’t sit well.
The imp with golden skin smiled thinly. Despite her obvious skepticism, he was the one Rhyia had told Cardan about, the one that could fix his problem, rid him of his ailment.
“That is all.”
Rhyia’s eyes narrowed into slits, “And it won’t hurt him?” Despite how she, along with the rest of his siblings, chose to brush him off more often than not, she did care for him on a certain level. It was why Cardan had approached her in the first place. He trusted her alone to follow through with this task.
“The young Prince shall remain whole and hale. It is to my understanding that he is now indebted to me?”
Cardan was about to protest when Rhyia spoke first, “I will take on his debt to you. When you need a favor, come to me.”
The imp’s smile widened, “Oh it is not a favor I seek in return. Simply bring him back to me once the… effects of the cure have taken hold.”
Cardan didn’t like how ominous that sounded. Nonetheless he nodded to his sister and they moved to leave.
Once they had turned away, they missed how the Imp’s smile grew impossibly wider and a silent laugh fell from his lips.
~.~
“Are you sure about this?”
Her constant questioning was beginning to grate on Cardan’s nerves as they trekked back to Hallow Hall. “For the last time, yes. I am profoundly certain in my decision. Will you let it alone now?”
Rhyia hummed and stopped walking. When Cardan realized she was no longer beside him, he stopped as well and turned to face her. She was staring at him with an expression he couldn’t puzzle out.
“Having the love of a mortal is-”
Cardan turned away sharply and began walking again, “I do not have the love of a mortal! One simply plagues my thoughts, and this is the only way to cure it.”
Rhyia jogged to catch up with him. She linked her arm through his, “All I was going to say was that…being in love with, or having the love of a mortal, is no reason to feel shame. Many of us have loved them, dearly so. The General, our father. Even I have known the affections of one.”
Cardan stopped short. That couldn’t be right. Yes, there were some Folk who took mortals as consorts and lovers- they were good for cultivating many children. The General’s love, he knew, had ended in tragedy. One that produced the very person he so sorely wished to be rid of. His father had an affinity for many a thing unusual, and having Val Moren at his side was just that. Cardan had just always assumed it was out of need for a seneschal who had an undying loyalty to him. But Rhyia?
He glanced at her sideways and she held her chin up higher, “As I said. I am not ashamed of who I have come to adore. Many think them beneath us, I find that to be wholly untrue. They are born, they live vibrant, beautiful lives, and they die, just as we do.”
Cardan shook his head, “They are dirt. A fleeting thing made of dust and water, gone before they can live fully if they do not stay here. They are beneath us.” A practiced excuse, and his sister knew it.
“You feel the need to run from what you do not understand. Do not want to feel. The choice is yours but know this: You are a prince. You may love whoever you see fit to love. Mortals may be weaker than we are, but their ability to love is stronger even than our own. When they find someone fit to adore, they put their entire existence into loving them. They feel it deeply and should you find yourself the object of their affection, there will be nothing they will not do for you,” She looked at him pointedly, “It is an honor to be loved by a mortal.”
Cardan was silent for a moment as her words sank in. The vial in his pocket felt heavier, somehow.
An honor. Cardan had never been granted anything akin to honor before. And as thoughts of auburn hair and rounded ears flashed through his mind, he realized he never would be granted such a thing. He shook his head,
“Even if that were true, my issue does not stem from running from the affections of a mortal.”
Rhyia smiled carefully at her brother, “Of course not. Simply from the possibility that she will not love you as you love her.”
He balked and tugged his arm from her hold, stalking the rest of the way home on his own. He did not love a mortal. He just couldn’t get thoughts of her out of his mind. Her name played on an indestructible loop in his brain, carefully preserved memories of her every sneer and glare followed him into his dreams and emerged with him in his waking hours. She wouldn’t leave him alone.
The liquid in that vial would fix it. It would erase her very essence from each corner of his brain, every fold she inhabited, like a sprite infestation of the mind. He would be rid of every thought, every memory, every feeling he had ever had for her.
Without any further pondering, he lifted the vial from his pocket and uncorked it.
Before he even got inside Hallow Hall, he brought it to his lips.
He threw back the potion and blessedly forgot Jude Duarte.
~.~
Lessons had never been a source of joy for Cardan. In fact, he would go as far to say they were a bane of his existence. Knowledge and learning, taking precious time to become scholarly when he could have been lounging about instead.
An odd absence in his chest pulled at him. He felt as if there was something about lessons that should have- usually would have- brought him some level of entertainment, of satisfaction. Looking around, his comrades by his side as they set up their blankets and baskets on the great lawn for the day, there was nothing amiss.
And yet there was something…
“Here they come.” Locke muttered conspiratorially, looking at someone approaching over Cardan’s shoulder. Valerian leered and Nicasia glanced in that direction before scoffing and looking elsewhere.
Had they all met someone at a revel recently? Someone worthy of their torment? Surely, they would have told him had that been the case.
Either way, he wanted to be included, so he turned as well.
When he caught sight of her, he lost his right to breathe.
There were two mortal girls, they were linked at the arm and looked exactly alike. Twins, highly uncommon amongst the Folk, though it happened often enough for the term to be familiar.
Despite there being two of them, his eyes immediately caught on the one to the right.
She was gorgeous.
Her auburn hair was twisted into a knot at the top of her head, a golden net holding it in place along with a few decorative pins. She was wearing a simple tunic with a crest across her chest that he instantly recognized. The family crest of General Madoc. He had mortal charges?
She clutched her basket in one hand and clutched her sister’s arm even closer. She was whispering something to the other girl and when she glanced up, she locked gazes with him.
It felt as if time had frozen.
She stared at him for a moment, brown eyes boring into his. It was the most beautiful color he had ever had the privilege of seeing. What a shame she shared a face with the girl next to her, her beauty was so striking that it deserved to be all her own. Even so, she was- as far as he was concerned- far more breathtaking than her twin.
She was alarmingly attractive. Distressingly beautiful. The product of tortuous, glorifying nightmares. He needed to know her, needed to speak to her. What did her voice sound like? Was she bold or soft spoken? How long had she been in Elfahme and why had he never encountered her before?
This ethereal creature… he could feel his heart beating so quickly it was growing painful, he had to force himself to take a breath least he pass out from lack of oxygen.
“Who is that?” He knew his voice was little more than a strained whisper as he continued to stare at her.
As soon as his mouth moved, it seemed to shatter some hold that had settled over her. Her eyes narrowed and she gave him a glare so delightfully heated that he could feel it burning his very blood. She was a fiery one.
Her lips pulled into a sneer and he immediately wanted to know what she would taste like. Some strange, horrid concoction of bitter and sweet, no doubt. He had to know.
He could see Nicasia looking at him strangely from the corner of his eye. He couldn’t bring himself to tear his gaze from the mortal as she moved to an empty area on the grass with her twin in tow. He watched as they spread out their blankets and settled down.
“The Duarte twins? Madoc’s filthy mortal brats? Cardan, are you feeling well?” She asked, rare concern lacing her voice.
He would wager he’d never felt better in his life. He felt something in his chest- the previously empty and wounded area- light up as though something finally came to life in him, as though he were finally whole.
“What’s her name, the one on the right?” He ignored the strange looks his friends gave him, never looking away from the Duarte twin that had enraptured his attention, though she kept throwing disgusted sneers his way every time she looked up to find him still staring.
“Jude?” Locke inquired, glancing gleefully between the twins and the prince.
Something in his mind snapped into place, and he finally understood what had been missing, Jude.
Her name looped around his thoughts, over and over.
Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude…
He needed her. He felt it, he…
Cardan Greenbriar was in love.
~.~
Waiting for lessons to end was nearly unbearable, the only consolation Cardan got was from staring at the object of his affections throughout the day.
Each time she caught him staring, she would glare and turn away sharply, as though his gaze had branded her. Each time it sent a thrill through him, something he had never felt before, even with previous lovers. Even with Nicasia, who was sitting right next to him through the whole day.
It was perhaps hasty on his part, this whole bodied acceptance of his feelings, but Cardan was never one to curb his indulgences. After all, when the Folk fell in love, it was often that it happened deeply and all at once. This was nothing out of the ordinary, and the prince looked forward to trying to shower this lovely fiend in affections as soon as he could speak with her.
As soon as they were released for the day, he issued Locke to distract her twin, having seen how they stole glances at one another during their lessons. The fox like faerie was all too happy to oblige and Cardan found himself trailing his new love off the palace grounds and into the forest, glad she hadn’t bothered to wait for her twin.
It took about two minutes for her to stop, once they were out of sight of the palace behind them. She turned and her gaze locked onto him.
He continued forward until he was a mere foot away from her. He said nothing and simply stood there, watching, waiting for her to speak first.
“What do you want?” Oh, how delightfully sharp her voice was! Even drenched in irritation, it was soothing as a balm to his aching head after listening to Nicasia’s grating prattle all day. She looked momentarily surprised at herself, as though she were normally much milder. Though she quickly shook it off and continued to glare at him.
He decided to forego beating around the bush, she seemed like the type of person who enjoyed being direct, getting straight to the point. That spot in his chest she now occupied throbbed a bit, “You’ve captured my attention. You’re quite alluring, Jude. That is your name, correct?”
A completely logical question, but she looked at him as though he had two heads. Actually no- there was at least one two headed faerie out there- she looked at him as though he had just asked her to shoot him through with an arrow, like he was an idiot in need of mental help.
“Is this some kind of trick?” Her voice was dripping disgust and her hand twitched as though she wanted to reach for something but thought better of it at the last moment. Her eyes narrowed further and he found himself wishing she would look at him normally so he could see her eyes fully. They must be exquisite this close up.
He shook his head, shifting towards her, she took a step back, “No trick. I know I’m being forward, but I find you most enchanting, perhaps we can walk together?” he smirked at her. He knew how to be charming, had won a few hearts that way. However, she sneered at him as though she were completely immune to it- even better!
“’Perhaps we’… What are you doing, Cardan?” she nearly growled his name and he found he quite liked the way it sounded coming out of her mouth.
“Expressing my interest in you,” he stepped closer and grabbed one of her hands gently, tried not to laugh when she casually pulled it away and unsheathed a small dagger at her hip, “As I said, you have my attention.”
She looked confused a moment, even slightly concerned. It vanished quickly and she held the dagger a little higher. Outright threatening him. Yes, he was definitely in love!
“What has gotten into you? Some sort of sickness the Folk get? Have you been drinking already?”
Already. For some reason that stuck in his head. ‘Have you been..’ it sounded as though she knew of his habits. Granted it was no secret that he preferred various wines over most other beverages any day, but only those who paid attention to him knew that. He was under the distinct impression they had never met before.
That spot in his heart throbbed again, painfully.
“You…” He took a step towards her and she backed up several paces, her blade gleaming between them.
“If this is some new way of trying to get me to back down, you can drop it. It’s not going to work. You’ve managed to pit Taryn against me already, and as long as you leave her alone, we have an understanding but that’s it. I won’t hesitate to hurt you if you touch either one of us. Now leave me alone.”
Cardan didn’t understand half of what she was talking about. Who was Taryn? Her twin perhaps? He hadn’t bothered with her name. How did Jude figure he had pit them against one another? And how had he and Jude come to an agreement of sorts if he had never met her before?
As she backed away, dagger still held offensively as though she expected him to lunge for her, he realized he was going to need answers to his growing list of questions before he tried to pursue her further.
He held up his hands in what he hoped was a placating gesture, watching as she continued to move away before she was far enough to turn and hastily make her way from him. He gazed after her a moment, wishing that had gone differently, then turned and started to trek his way home, suddenly in a somber mood.
~.~
Jude huffed out a breath of frustration as she re-sheathed her dagger, trying to figure out what on earth had just passed between her and Cardan.
You have my attention. That was normally a bad thing, but the way he had been gazing at her…she could feel her blood heating and it wasn’t all due to hate.
So wrapped up in trying to figure out what had just happened with Cardan, Jude didn’t realize someone else was following her until it was too late.
She jumped an embarrassingly high distance into the air when Princess Rhyia appeared beside her.
“Oh! Uh, your highness.” Jude muttered, dropping into a low curtsy.
She tried to keep her wits about her when the princess gripped her arm and looped her own through it. She smiled warmly at Jude, something she found slightly disconcerting, and said, “Walk with me.”
Her tone was gentle, but Jude understood a command when she heard one, and Rhyia was all but physically dragging her by the arm, so she really had little choice in the matter.
“Tell me, young Jude. What do you think of my brother?”
Jude didn’t bother asking for clarification. If Rhyia had followed her all this way, it was likely she had just seen whatever it was that had transpired between Cardan and herself. She was about to blurt out “I hate him, as he does me” when she stopped herself. It probably wasn’t wise to badmouth him to his sibling. Not to mention it felt…odd, to say that all of a sudden.
The princess caught her hesitation and squeezed her arm gently, “Please, speak freely.”
Well then, “Um…we don’t…we don’t see eye to eye.” A huge understatement, though Rhyia simply nodded, keeping quiet as she waited for Jude to go on. “I take it you know why he was acting so strangely back there?”
For a startling moment, the princess looked upset. She schooled her features quickly, though. “Usually, I would feel it is not my place to meddle. But Cardan… it is no excuse, I know, but… he doesn’t always understand his own feelings.”
Jude bit the inside of her own cheek. She had quite a bit to say when it came to Cardan and feelings. She kept quiet as his sister went on.
“I shouldn’t be the one to reveal all the details, but I can tell you that he feels very strongly for you. So strongly in fact, that he went to extremes to stop feeling for you. It would appear his plan backfired.”
Strong feelings? Backfired? What? “I’m afraid I don’t follow.”
“Cardan approached me yesterday, asking if I knew of a way to rid him of feelings he couldn’t stand to feel. I took him to an imp I know of, who gave him a potion, a…cure, he called it. It would erase the thing that ails one from their memory.”
Jude was putting the pieces together now. For an inexplicable reason, something tugged at her chest, dark and ugly. “He…wanted to forget me?” She asked carefully.
Rhyia smiled, obviously happy Jude was understanding, “You were haunting him. He couldn’t cease thinking of you and it was driving him quite mad. So, he sought a solution.”
“A solution?” Jude scoffed, the hurt in her chest growing, “So rather than…than talk to me, he decided to erase me from his memory?!” She couldn’t fathom why this truth hurt, why she even cared-
“Well, he tried. I’ve been watching him today. It seems that, if anything, his feelings for you are much clearer now.” She nodded to herself, as if this was a completely logical situation.
Jude felt like she couldn’t breathe. Cardan, he felt something for her? Something other than hate?
She thought back to a piece of paper, her name dashed out over and over and over, like he was trying to immortalize her, pen her down on paper so she should never be forgotten.
Suddenly, she was recounting every interaction they had ever had, every weighted look and spiteful word. Each trick and torment and barb thrown at one another. The way they relentlessly targeted one another, trading blows in every form one could think of. She recalled the way Taryn begged her to let it go, to quit this twisted game but she couldn’t. She would not forfeit. She didn’t want to stop.
And he was just as guilty. Each time they went toe to toe, he wouldn’t back down, wouldn’t leave her alone, almost as if he needed this game they played just as much as she did, just to feel... and each time, there was an air of something heavier behind it all, something unspoken and deadly and mutual.
Something like obsession. A twisted kind of heart-breaking. A tragic back and forth dance. Evil, heated, something intense, some…
Some wicked type of love.
She didn’t realize she had stopped moving until Rhyia pulled her arm from Jude’s. They were nearing Madoc’s estate, but Jude found she didn’t want to go home just yet.
“He…We, uh…” Great, at a loss for words in front of royalty. But Rhyia just smiled wider.
“I heard there is a way to bring back memory stolen by a potion, a kiss of true love or something of that nature. But you didn’t hear it from me.” The princess leaned in and placed a sisterly kiss on Jude’s cheek before she winked and walked away.
Jude stood there, stupidly staring at nothing just off the edge of Madoc’s estate for far longer than she would have liked to admit.
She… she loved him? She wanted to be wrong, but it felt like she had just discovered the answer to everything she never realized she was questioning. Her chest ached, she had to get to him. What had Rhyia said? ‘kiss of true love’? Like from a story book? Ridiculous. And exactly the kind of thing that would happen to her.
Jude squared her shoulders, resigning herself to her decision.
Without giving herself a chance to reconsider, she turned on her heel and started to backtrack to Hallow Hall.
~.~
Cardan was only slightly surprised when Jude traipsed through his open balcony doors an hour later. He wasn’t sure what she had against using the front door like a normal person but epic declarations of love were often much more, well, epic when preceded by dramatic entrances.
He liked her flair.
“Somehow I knew you would show up.” He was genuinely glad to see her, though if she was here to tell him off again, he wasn’t sure how he would manage. He would find a way, though, for her.
“Shame on me for being predictable.” She muttered, moving further into the room. She regarded him coolly, “You really don’t remember me?”
Cardan held up a finger and moved to his desk. He picked up an empty vial that was sitting atop. He held it out to her.
“I assumed I was at a revel last night and that was why I couldn’t recall anything, however today’s events are making that hard to believe.”
Jude took the vial from him, careful not to touch him as she did so. She examined the glass, rolled it over in her hands a few times. She glanced back up at him and he was happy to find her eyes open wide. He was right, a gorgeous color.
“I assume you don’t know what this is.” She shook the vial.
He shook his head, “I figure it’s the cause of my lapse in memory. Now I wonder what was in it and why I needed it,” He looked her over carefully, head to toe and back up again, “And why it seems tied to you.”
She pocketed the vial, though he wasn’t sure why she would want it, “Have you spoken with Rhyia today?”
Rhyia? “What does my sister have to do with this?”
“She accompanied me home, don’t give me that look- she snuck up on me. She told me that yesterday you asked for her assistance in acquiring something. A cure, of sorts.”
Cardan ignored the jealousy he felt against his sister-how unfair that she got to walk Jude home- and mused over Jude’s words. A cure… “I don’t recall being ill before last night.” He crossed his arms, watching her. Even the way she just stood there was astounding. He could look at her forever and it still wouldn’t be long enough to give her the attention she deserved.
“Well, you weren’t sick, exactly. You…wanted someone erased from your memory.” Her voice went quiet. Odd, from what he knew of her thus far, that seemed extremely out of character for her.
“That would explain the memory loss.” Horrible attempt at a quip, though her mouth quirked up at the corner, he got her to smile! Despite her obvious upset, his chest warmed. He wanted to see her grinning, to hear her laugh. Perhaps he would, one day.
“Yeah, well, it definitely did its job.”
It hit him, then. He had wanted to forget someone, his comrades had displayed obvious distaste for the Duarte twins even though Cardan could not recall ever meeting them. Rhyia had gone to Jude after their…talk in the woods, and Cardan hardly believed it had been Jude’s twin he had wanted to forget.
“You.” He said quietly, watching her shift her weight from one foot to the other, “I wanted to forget you?” He hardly thought it possible, she was a delight! He had never known what the missing piece of his entire existence had been until he laid eyes on her for the first time- ok, not first time, rather the first time he remembers. All the same, looking upon her beautiful countenance now, he could quite confidently declare his past self absolutely mad for attempting to purge her from his thoughts.
Jude shrugged and stepped closer, “I guess I was haunting you. And you don’t like knowing there is something out there that you can’t have.”
His heart plummeted. He wished it to soar at the obvious fact that she seemed to know him so well, however her words crushed the fragile hope that had been budding within him since he left her alone in the woods, “And I can’t? Have you?”
Her gaze was intense and piercing when it landed on his own. Again, he marveled at the color. The rich hues of brown one found upon the forest floor, the cracked deck of a mighty ship, all the copper and wood and soil of the earth blending together to solidify themselves in the alluring shade of her eyes. He couldn’t breathe.
She forewent answering his question, “Your sister told me there is a way to restore your memory, if you would have it.”
“Yes.” He found himself breathing, already enticed at the prospect of remembering this wicked girl before him. Obviously, his past self had been an idiot for trying to forget her. He cleared his throat, “What is it?”
She took another step, then another, stopping only when they were so close he had to tilt his head down to meet her eyes.
“I’m not sure it will work, but I know you’ll find it entertaining.”
Gently, he reached up to wrap a lock of her hair around his finger. She didn’t seem to mind as he asked again, “Is there a chance? That I could have you?” He’d never had anything solely his, never won affections simply because someone had cared for him. He knew if she could be that for him, he’d want for nothing more in his life ever again.
Slowly, she lifted a hand to his cheek. He found himself leaning into it readily as she pulled his face closer to hers.
She seemed to hesitate, considering something before she answered, “So long as I could have you.”
He would have answered, ‘Anything, you can have anything you want’ had she not closed the distance and pressed her lips to his.
~.~
The memories came rushing back all at once and they nearly knocked his breath out of his chest. But he only gave his history with his gorgeous villain a passing thought as more pressing matters settled themselves in the forefront of his mind.
Namely, the fact that Jude was kissing him. Jude. As everything he knew about her, about them fell into place he had to wonder if he was dreaming. But no. He’d imagined this very moment before and… It had all his hopes, his expectations paling in comparison to the actual sensation. She was warm and her mouth was soft even as she roughly slanted it against his own. Even when showing affection, she felt the need to be in control and he lent it to her willingly.
In the back of his mind, he recalled having always assumed that their first kiss would be intoxicating and drenched in delirium- why else would either of them fall into the other without a fight, if not for the moment being brought about by emotions stronger than they could contend with? And while it definitely lived up to that expectation, he had also always assumed it would be over rather quickly. That she would pull away abruptly, muttering about mistakes and small, ironic acts of vengeance.
That is where the likeness between imagination and reality broke away.
In reality, as soon as her mouth met his and she gave him a moment to feel the onslaught of memories, she stepped closer, forcing him to bend slightly to accommodate their height difference. The hand that had been resting on his face slid up, over the pointed tip of his ear and into his hair while her other arm fastened tightly around his shoulders, pulling him flush against her.
He fumbled for a moment- which was really something wasn’t it? Wasn’t he the more experienced of the two? How thoroughly she had undone him already!
Once his bearings were back intact, he slipped his arms around her waist, molding himself to her. He marveled at how seamlessly they seemed to fit together. A lock and- wait, no. No Locke. Two pieces of the same puzzle finally snapping into place.
His mind gave over to a blank sort of haze, melting along to the backdrop of her name looping around his thoughts, Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude Jude and for a bare moment he understood again why he had forced her out of his mind, for she was the only thing in the universe that had the power to drive him into pure madness.
He would happily crash into insanity now, with her wrapped around him, teeth tugging at his bottom lip demandingly. He obliged to her wishes, would cater to her every twisted whim if she would have it. One of his hands snaked into her hair as he deepened their kiss, he felt her fingers dig into his back harshly in response. He felt that should he die now, he would leave this existence fulfilled and whole.
Once the need for oxygen became unrelenting, he pressed his mouth firmly against hers, once more, and pulled away.
Again, his imaginings of this moment ended here or before, with her pulling away, that beautiful scowl etched across her perfect face, muttering foul and soul wrenching words like mistake and useless.
And again, reality outshone even the darkest parts of his mind. As soon as he pulled back, she stayed near a moment, waiting to see if he would come back. When he didn’t, she sighed through her nose, the sound almost content and she peered up at him.
His eyes locked on hers as she let her hands explore the breadth of his shoulders, the column of his neck which she glanced at briefly before her gaze snapped back to his own, full of something like longing.
When he didn’t move, said nothing, she tilted her head to the side as she tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. “Well?” was all she said.
It took him a moment to register what her meaning was. She wanted to know if he remembered her, their history. He blinked, “I…remember.” He stated cautiously. He couldn’t lie of course, but he almost wanted to. So terrified was he of what that knowledge would mean for them, for what had just transpired between them. His imaginings never prepared him for this.
Or for what she did next.
A smirk, more of a small smile, really, bloomed across her features. That in itself was jarring but since this was Jude and ambition was what drove her out of bed in the morning, of course she took it further than simply jarring. She leaned in again, placing a kiss to his cheek, along his jaw, his nose even, before she finally claimed his lips again. It was past shocking. Had he known memory loss would lead to this he would have sought out his sister for help much sooner.
Though really, why was she even doing this? Just yesterday she had been scowling at him every time they glanced at each other, just an hour ago she had been threating his life, warning him to back off. What had changed?
This, while thrilling, wasn’t ideal. Insecurity was not something Cardan was overly familiar with these days, not when it came to her. This information is what had him puling away gently, looking at her in earnest.
“Why the sudden interest?” He debated throwing a quip or scathing remark of some sort her way, a sudden and desperate need to get back to their malicious bantering washing over him, though he shoved the thought away. He was genuinely curious as to what changed her mind.
She shook her head as she finally left his embrace, “I had just been thinking and realized that somewhere along the way, strong feelings of hate had shifted into strong feelings of…something else.”
She looked put out at the thought that she had developed any sort of emotion for him other than contempt, but he had to agree with her sentiment. He bristled to think that that potion hadn’t done its job right, but it had done something. Before, he had been content to half-lie to himself, to convince himself so profoundly that he was not enchanted, mind and body and soul by this girl before him.
What was it Rhyia had said? It is an honor to be loved by a mortal.
Cardan felt that maybe there was honor in loving one, too.
He bit the inside of his cheek before asking, “And you meant what you said, before?”
So long as I could have you.
“Yes.” She sounded so sure. He liked to believe she wasn’t lying. She rubbed at the missing tip of her finger as she watched him, “So, where does that leave us?”
Bring him back to me when the effects of the… cure have taken hold. He’d gotten more than he had bargained for. He held out his hand to Jude.
She reached for it instantly and he tried not to let it show how deeply that affected him, his head already wanting to go fuzzy with nothing but the thought of her.
“I owe a visit to a certain imp.”
Fin
And that is that! Please let me know your thoughts! And I am so excited to be sharing again and looking forward to what I plan to write in the future☺️ (jeez it is so long I’m so sorry for everyone who has to scroll all this way😬😅)
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avabird01 · 4 years
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can u pls write one where mikasa and the scouts save u during a battle outside the walls tyyyy <3
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A/N: Thank you so much for requesting ! I hope you enjoy it ! Your request didn’t have a gender for the reader so I decided to just go gender neutral with pronouns and description for the main character/reader. 
    Title : Close Call
 Summary: This takes place on the group's first expeditions outside the walls. You encounter a titan that doesn’t hesitate to try and eat you. Mikasa however, acts basically as your knight in shining armor and saves you just in the brink of time. 
 WARNINGS: None 
Word Count: 969
  The ODM gear you practiced and trained with for years felt heavier than ever now. The clothes you wore almost everyday felt tight and uncomfortable.  Leaving the wall is such an exhilarating yet terrifying experience just to think about it. You were noticeable shaking. Your friends were distracted making last preparations. You couldn’t help but be disappointed in yourself, everyone seemed to calm. As you were putting the saddle on your horse you felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist. You looked down confused but before you could understand what was happening you felt the belt around you tighten so harshly you gasped. Once you were let go by the mystery hands you looked back and saw Mikasa. She had a blank face like always but began to speak, “Your gear wasn’t properly tightened.” 
  You didn’t know what to say, maybe because she was so staring at you and she was intimidating as hell or the fact all air had left your body for a good few moments. Your mind however caught up and you were able to breath out a “Thank you.” You quickly turned back around to your horse and got the rest of the gear ready. 
  Before you knew it you were out on the horses riding across the country side. The grass was a dark green and the trees stood ominously ahead of the group. The dense forest seemed like a nightmare. The thought of titans grabbing you, staring into their eyes, their menacing grins, large teeth and slimy tongue shook you to the core. Your body was tense as ever. Your knuckles began turning white from you gripping the strap that you used to ride and direct your horse. You tried to shake it off best you could and continue the path set for you. 
  After a while a smoke gun was shot. In class you remember learning this meant a titan was near that area and to redirect best you could while still staying with the scouts and keeping formation. You redirect the horse away and continue on. You look up at your fellow comrades in the distance as they continue on with a stride. They were so much more coordinated than you. You were actually friendly with some of the veteran scouts. Even though they had more experience and less nerves than you they were friendly. Unlike other scouts in your class you could admit your faults. You struggled to pick things up as fast as everyone but that didn’t stop you. Your combat skills improved, you got more smart about titans and all together became a well rounded soldier. Still though you got nervous. 
 As you continued to ride you started to feel the ground shake. When you turned your head you saw a titan about 12 meters in height. Your eyes widen as you watch the beast run after you flaying their arms around as they run like a child. You throw your head back forward and grab your flare gun and shoot it in the air. 
 You try to move away but it doesn't seem to wanna leave you alone at all. You try to go in a zigzag motion the best you could on a horse but just in a moment your horse falls forward. It must have somehow tripped on a branch while you were trying to get it off your tail. As dirt went into your mouth you realized what had happened. You look back at the titan now feet away from your tiny body. You run up to your feet and grab your blades. Your knees shaked in fear as you started to run up to its large body and shoot your grapple. 
 In the titans luck it grabbed your grapple somehow bringing you up and grabbing you in its fist. You looked into its dark brown eyes. You couldn’t help but start crying. “HELP! SOMEONE! PLEASE!” You plead to any of the scouts that could hear you.  The fist around your whole body began to get squeezed. Your eyes closed shut as you cried out for help. Please, someone, anyone, someone has to see or hear me. I can’t die yet, I can’t.
 After a few seconds you felt the hand around you go loose. You open your eyes not knowing what to expect. There she was, on top of the titan that was moments away from devouring you entirely. Mikasa was standing there, her black hair blowing in the wind. Her face splashed with a thin layer of blood that was from the titan. She quickly grabbed you and grappled to the ground. She placed you on the ground next to her and you looked at the titan’s neck. It was completely sliced and destroyed. She was gripping her blades tightly. “Your horse’s legs are broken. We have to leave it behind. You can ride with me on mine.” She said looking back at the horse and then looking down at the ground not able to look at you in the eyes. 
 You blushed looking down and started to speak. “Thank you a lot. You saved my life, without you I'd be dead. I owe you everything.”  You looked up. The group was farther away and more on the right. Mikasa looked over where you were gazing and must have noticed how far the group was.
 “We should get moving again.”
  “Yeah” You ran a hand through your hair still shaken up about what had happened.
 She climbed on the horse first and you followed, wrapping your arms around her waist. Once the horse started moving you both stayed silent for a while. You didn’t know what to say other than thank you and she never really had much to say. You leaned onto her shoulder and you both stayed silent.  
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doyouevenshipbr0 · 4 years
Text
gruvia drabble
author’s note: well. everybody. are we surprised??????? i dont write a thing for like months but then i get inspiration and here i am✨✨ also im not gonna lie... this fic is a lil bit ooc. v much for gray. its believable but like BARELY. so BASICALLY if u dont read fairy tail 100 years quest, this might not make a whole lotta sense to u, but i think youll be able to follow! SO! this fic is based off of the gruvia interactions in the latest fairy tail 100 years quest chapter! chapter 63!!! enjoy my beautiful ppl!:)❤️❤️❤️
*
Without missing a beat, Juvia launched herself at her darling Gray. “Ahh...” She lulled with great relief. “It’s so good to see you safe, Gray-sama.”
Her arms naturally wrapped around his neck as she sweetly nuzzled her face right into his. The two of them were certainly beat up from their battle with Metro, and they had the bandages wrapped around themselves from head-to-toe to proove it. Yet, naturally, Juvia didn’t mind. Her body was achey, sure, but all she could feel was warmth from her overwhelming love for Gray.
She felt Gray’s muscles soften. He brought his hand up to the top of her head, bringing her into the crook of his neck, and he followed her lead by resting his cheek atop her head. He couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of Juvia safe and acting like her normal self. After finally getting a moment to breathe, this was the first time in a long time he was really seeing Juvia where they weren’t fighting or she wasn’t partially brainwashed by Touka. It was nice to see her back to being unequivocally Juvia.
“You too.” Was all he replied, but that was all he needed to say.
Gray could hear the gasps going around the guild at the sight of he and Juvia, but he paid it no mind.
“Ok tiger, think you could maybe put some pants on?” Cana’s call to Gray was what finally snapped him out of it.
“Gah! My pants!” He exclaimed, flustered, breaking from his embrace with Juvia.
“They’re right here, darling!” Juvia quickly gathered his clothes. Naturally, she was always keeping track.
“Thanks.” He snatched them. He snapped his attention to his number one rival, and pointed at him. “Natsu, as soon as I get these back on, I’m kicking your ass!” He shouted.
“Eh?!” He responded. “Why me?!”
“Because you got to have all the fun taking down a dragon! Now I want a piece of you!” He taunted. He couldn’t deny that the combination of a couple beers, and the adrenaline rush from another Fairy Tail victory, was amping Gray up, to say the least.
“Bring it on!” Natsu grinned, and began cracking his knuckles.
Before they knew it, a bunch of the guys were rolling around like wild animals. You would’ve never thought they just faced one of the biggest battles of their lives, but, well, that was Fairy Tail.
“Get em’, Gray-sama!” Juvia cheered on, energetically, just as he swung a punch at Gajeel.
Juvia went back to the bar to get some more drinks, and Gray was shortly behind her. “Aw man.” He flopped onto the seat beside Juvia, out of breath. “Those guys don’t mess around in a fight. Even when we’re already beaten to a pulp.” Gray snickered. He did love a good fight, but he couldn’t deny his body was tired.
Juvia hummed a giggle. “The same can be said for you. Juvia saw you throwing some solid punches.” She handed him a beer.
“Did you expect anything less?” Gray playfully smirked at Juvia, causing her to blush just a tad.
“Of course not.” She grinned.
“Lucy!” Gray shouted, and as he did so, he casually brought his arm around Juvia, placing a hand on her shoulder as they both sat. Juvia was really blushing now. She sat still and silent, afraid of ruining the moment.
Gray continued once Lucy turned to him. “Why don’t you give Natsu some of that booze? Maybe that would take him off his game and I could kick his sorry ass in one shot!” He joked.
The hand still weighed heavy on Juvia’s shoulder. Did Gray place it there by accident? Did he know what he was doing? Maybe he just needed her so he could keep his balance? Or maybe he was cold and wanted Juvia to keep him warm?
Natsu perked up “Give me all the booze in the world! I’ll still kick your ass!” Just as he said that, Elfman came up from behind him, and slammed his body to the ground. Gray and Juvia both laughed.
“Leave it to Natsu to pick a fight with just about anyone.” He snorted, but Juvia couldn’t pay much attention to what Gray was saying at the moment.
He casually brought his hand down for just a moment, and just as Juvia’s mind rolled with questions as to what he could possibly be doing now, she was given an answer. He softly took a lock of her hair in his hand, and ever so lightly stroked it. Juvia was frozen in happiness. She didn’t dare turn her head, but she did see Gray out of the corner of her eye, and he simply took a gulp of his beer, without seeming to mind at all that he was doing something completely and utterly unlike him—public affection. However, he was unbothered. He continued rhythmically running his fingers through her hair as if this was the most normal thing in the world to him.
“Maybe I’m bias, but beer is better when Mira’s serving it at the guild.” He said to Juvia as he looked curiously at his beer. While saying this, he even began to twirl a piece of hair between his fingers. The way her heart fluttered with each flip of his fingers was something she’d never felt, but wow— what a feeling. Unfortunately, Juvia could not hold back this reaction as shivers were sent all over her body rather noticeabley.
“You ok?” Gray stopped the hair stroking, and brought his palm to the middle of her back, still seemingly putting forth an effort to touch her, and he looked over at her.
“Y-yes!” Juvia jolted. “Juvia is fine!”
“You sure?” He raised a brow. “You seem a little tense.”
“No! Honestly! Juvia is completely fine, just a bit caught off guard is all!” She was starting to break a sweat. Leave it to her to screw up a moment.
“How so?” He finally pulled the hand away, to Juvia’s dismay.
“W-well...” She fiddled with her thumbs. “It-it’s just that... Gray-sama... was playing with Juvia’s hair, a-and you had your arm around me—and— Juvia was just surprised, that’s all!”
“Oh.” Gray was the one who was a bit stunned this time. His cheeks turned bright red, and he couldn’t help but look away.
Honestly, he really wasn’t even aware that he was doing that until Juvia pointed it out. He was taken aback by himself, admittedly. It wasn’t like him to be a hands-on type of guy. However, what he did know, was now that he knew he wasn’t touching her, he felt a desire to touch her more than ever. It was like once he knew she wasn’t in his grasp, a piece of himself felt lost. He wanted his arm around her. He wanted to feel her soft blue waves run through his fingers. He wanted to feel her warm embrace in his arms. So, even though he didn’t make a conscious effort to be physical, it was what he wanted. He wanted to feel her, and thus feel comfort. Feel serenity. Feel happiness.
“But, it’s ok!” Juvia leaned towards him. “Juvia didn’t mind at all! Not one bit! Oh, Juvia is so sorry! She’s insulted Gray-sama! As an apology, you may touch Juvia wherever you want!” She stood up and proudly spread her arms and puffed her chest, displaying herself for Gray.
Gray’s whole face burned fiercely. “Ah, jeez, would you sit down!” He snapped, and he took Juvia by her shoulders, putting her back in her seat.
“Juvia is sorry!” She exclaimed. “It’s just that, it’s not like Gray-sama to show any sort of affection in public! Juvia doesn’t know how to act!”
“Yeah, I guess.” Gray nervously scratched the back of his head. “I dunno’, it’s just that, well, after so many of these fights and always putting our lives on the line, it’s just hard to believe we’ve made it this far. On top of that, seeing all my comrades safe and...” He paused. “Seeing you safe after all of this... it just makes me feel so relieved. And, well, basically, I’ve come to realize that life is short.” He looked down. “Really short. And, I don’t wanna waste time worrying about stupid stuff. I just wanna’ do what’ll make me happy.”
He finally locked eyes with Juvia. “And you make me happy.”
Tears rushed to her stunned eyes. “Oh, Gray-sama!” She threw herself onto him all over again. He reciprocated almost instantly, placing a hand on her back. She looked back up at him, eyes glazed with tears. “You make Juvia happy too.” She smiled gently.
“Glad we’re on the same page.” Gray smirked, and then he brought Juvia back into his hold. They were both where they belonged- safe, and in each other’s arms.
As Juvia rested against his chest, she felt a comforting sensation that was already so familiar to her: Gray combing his fingers ever so gently through her long hair.
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heyitsjay03 · 3 years
Text
Fighting For Tomorrow: Chapter Six
Disclaimer: Still haven’t bought AOT but I’m working on it! 
AN: this. is a doozy of a chapter- i know. lots. and lots. and lots of words. but DAMN if i didnt love every part of it. however! if you guys prefer smaller chapters please please please dont hesitate to say something. seriously. id love to write you guys more frequent, smaller chapters but if you guys like the longass, slightly infrequent chapters then they shall continue. just say the word bby. also i felt kinda poetic in some of these sections so if you see reader gettin fancy with her verbage, don’t trip. that was my bad. 
Reiner x Fem!Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Fem!Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader
Word Count: 10k (i finished this at 2 am today before class and nearly passed out at the sight ‘10,008 words’ when i pulled up my word counter. CH-YOW this a big boy)
TW: gore/blood/violence/death, adult language/swearing, slight PTSD, mental anguish, self-harm, grief, nightmares, insomnia, hysterics, horse accident
You can read parts one, two, three, four, and five just by tapping the lovely numbers!
   The flames crackle and rage before us, engulfing our comrades’ bodies in scarlet and gold waves. 
   Engulfing Marco’s body. 
   Jean had found him. Just… laying there. Up against a building. No one had seen him die, no one knew how he died, just that he did. Marco- our comrade, our friend... my friend- just gone. Taken from us. There was no valiant deed. There was no heroism. There was no triumphant story. Nothing. He just… died. 
   And that’s the worst part. 
   He was taken from us and no one knows how. No one knows why. 
   Marco was one of the first comrades I got close to. We were competitive- always fighting to outdo each other. I’d train two hours, he’d train three. He’d pass the ODM test after four tries, I’d pass it in three. Back and forth, back and forth. 
   But if we faced something bigger than us- if there was an exercise we couldn’t quite pin down, if there was another Cadet giving us problems, if one of our squad members were injured- we’d always come together to beat it. It was always like that. 
   He was like my little brother. 
   I scoff at myself. They all are like my younger siblings. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, even Annie and Bertholdt. They’re all family and losing Marco… it was like losing a brother. 
   I did lose a brother. 
   My brother is among the flames- being turned to ash before my eyes. Marco is gone. Taken from me. Robbed from me. From everyone. His intellect, his kindness, his leadership. All of it gone. Taken from humanity. 
   We’re just kids. 
   Marco was just a kid. 
   All of us- bright-eyed kids wanting to do our best for humanity. To take back what was stolen from us. To serve humanity. We didn’t know how much hate, how much horror was waiting for us. To watch our comrades- our family and friends- be torn apart in front of us. To lose the ones closest to us in unspeakable carnage. 
   All we wanted was to do something for humanity. 
   All Marco wanted was to do something for humanity.
   He was just a kid.
   Tears are streaming down my face as we all watch the flames consume the bodies of fallen soldiers. I can hear the crackling of wood, feel the heat on my skin. But the crackling is distant and the heat is faint. My chest feels empty and cold. 
   I lost Marco. I lost Hannah. I lost Franz. 
   And I’ll never get them back.
   But I’ll be damned if I allow anyone else to be taken from me. 
   The Commander roars and rages before us, engulfing us in his words. They burn and singe like fire as they cross the Cadets’ ears. I can hear them whispering among themselves- asking if he’s serious or if he’s crazy or already resigning themselves to the Garrison. 
   It doesn’t matter what they say. 
   I’m joining the Scouts. Commander Erwin’s words are a comfort, a pleasant yet caveat warmth. Like a candle sitting beside a curtain. I know what I’m signing up for. I’ve always known. But it doesn’t mean I’ll be giving it all up now. 
   “I’ve made my decision.”
   My eyes turn away from the Commander, landing on Reiner’s form beside me. His gaze is still stuck on the Commander, back straight and shoulders squared. I turn my gaze back to the Commander- not wanting to be chewed out by a commanding officer for not paying attention. “...really?” I ask quietly, “Where are you-?”
   “The Scouts.”
   My eyes are back on him. “What?” I hiss, “Reiner, you can’t... throw away your shot at the Military Police- you worked so hard, why would you-?”
   “Eren was right,” he says quietly. I can feel his chest fill with breath before he chuckles. “They don’t need our skills so far away from the walls. They need us where we’re at use- where the people are.”
   “Rei, please, please,” I whisper, “Please don’t do this.”
   “Why not?” Reiner chuckles again, “You want me gone?”
   “It’s not like that,” I shoot back, “I just…”
   “You just what?”
   “...I don’t wanna lose anyone else.”
   “...you won’t.”
   “You can’t know that… I’m already worried about Eren and Armin and Mikasa- if I have to worry about anyone else-”
   “You don’t need to worry about me, darling… Because we’re going to get through this,” I can feel his finger graze the side of my hand before his hand takes mine. “Together.”
   A shaky exhale leaves my mouth as I close my eyes. “...together,” I whisper as shivers run down my spine.
   “That’s right, darling.”
   “...those who wish to join other divisions are dismissed.”
   Shuffles of feet scurry past me as I remain. I can feel their gazes, their judging glares and confused looks. They mumble to themselves. ‘Insane’, ‘crackpots’, ‘suicidal’, ‘deathwish’. Nervously, I swallow and grip Reiner’s hand tighter. 
   I can feel his smile. Proud and bright like the sun. Warming like the sun. Relaxation smoothes out over my skin as I soak it in. 
   I’ve done it. Finally. After years of fighting and hoping and wishing and dreaming about this very moment, I’m here. 
   The crowd clears out and a scattering of us remains. My eyes dart to each of the figures in the hopes of identifying my fellow crackpots.
   Reiner. Armin. Mikasa. Bertholdt. Ymir. Christa. Sas-
   My heart stops. 
   Sasha. Connie. Jean. 
   What the Hell are they doing here?! They were supposed to join the Military Police. They were going to, weren’t they?! Why are they still here?! Why aren’t they walking away? 
   At the very base of my stomach, something churns. Quickly and violently. 
   I think I’m gonna be sick. 
   I’m already going to be looking out for Armin, Eren, and Mikasa- I came to accept that long ago- but now Sasha? And Reiner? Connie and Jean, too?
   Most of everyone I’ve ever loved has just signed their hearts and bodies away to the Scouts- to nearly certain death. 
   There has to be a way to change their minds, right? There has to be. 
   ...but there isn’t, is there?
   They heard the statistics. They know how many have died in the Scouts. They know all the facts, all the dirtiest of details. 
   And they stayed.
   Gods, why did they stay?
   I’ll drag each of them out of here by their ears, kicking and screaming, if I have to. I already lost Marco and Hanna and Franz. I don’t think I could take losing them, too. 
   But if they truly want to- if they know the risk and want to dedicate their hearts just like I am… why would I stop them?
   I should be proud. 
   They’re- we all are- dedicating ourselves to the better future humanity deserves. To the eradication of Titans. To the freedom we all hunger for. 
   “Very well!” Commander Erwin’s voice booms out over us. “I welcome you- the newest recruits of the Scout Regiment!” His fist slams against his chest in a tight salute, “This is my real salute! Dedicate your hearts to the cause!”
   The group moves as one as we all strike our fists to our chests. 
   My eyes glide from the Commander to Sasha once more. 
   She’s shaking. I can hear her stifled sobs from here. 
   But she remains firm in her spot. 
   She’s made her decision. 
   And I can accept that. 
   I lay awake. Moonlight flickers through the window- inching towards the other side of the room. It’s late and I’m exhausted but even when I am, I can’t sleep. There’s too much screaming in my head. Too much gore. Too much carnage that I can only barely remember. The only things that do remember are my heart and lungs- hammering and pounding and stretching to the fullest in the wake of whatever nightmare slinked back into the recesses of my mind. 
   Reiner stirs in his sleep and wraps his arms around my waist. Tucking me into him, he sighs and buries his head into my neck. “...can’t sleep?” he mumbles. His voice is deep. Deeper than usual, with a gentle rumble to it. 
   “No,” I whisper back, shrinking into him.
   “Wanna talk about it?”
   I stay silent. No. No, I really, really, really, really don’t want to. Talking about whatever bothers me is like pulling teeth. It feels like a burden that I’m casting onto someone else. And with Reiner… he’s burdened enough already. He’s everyone’s big brother. Everyone’s confidant. He shoulders responsibilities and punishments for others- never once thinking about himself. 
   But he’s exhausted. All the time, exhausted. And he’s so good at hiding it. Even around me. But I can see it. The way his golden eyes go hazy at times, the way his shoulders sag and the way things slip his mind. The way he can become an entirely different person with terrifying speed. 
   It scares me how much I think he carries. Because when he breaks… it’ll be cataclysmic. 
   Reiner’s lips slide up my shoulder and neck, pressing gentle kisses against my skin. “...well?”
   But maybe he’ll open up to me if I take the step first. Maybe I’ll show him that there’s nothing to worry about- that I’m not going anywhere and that he can talk to me about anything. Everything. 
   “...I’ve… I’ve been having nightmares.” 
   His kisses stop where they are, lips still pressed to my skin for a moment before pulling away. His grip on me gets tighter as he pulls me closer. Reiner lets his head rest in the crook of my neck and sighs. “...what about?”
   I laugh quietly, letting my fingers trail against his forearm. “...I don’t remember most of them but… there is one that comes back… every now and then.”
   “I’m listening, darling.”
  Slowly, I take a breath. My eyes close as I remember the details of the dream. “...it always starts off the same… I’m in a throne room and there’s a person at my feet. Sometimes… it’s a woman and other times it’s a man and other times, I can’t tell which, but… there’s always someone at my feet,”
   “And they’re always crying,” I whisper, eyebrows drawing together and I grip his forearm. “Sobbing and pleading for mercy. A-...And I…” My voice quivers as tears start to flow from my eyes. “I… just… I don’t even know, I just… I see this… light- red light- come from their eyes and they just… they convulse and thrash around for a moment- screaming and crying and begging- before… before they…,”
   “...before they die at my feet,” I whisper brokenly, eyes open and staring out into the distance as the scene replays. “And when they finally die… I look up… and there’s… corpses. Thousands upon thousands of corpses, Rei… All piled up on top of each other and in writhing rigidity. As far as I could see- there were bodies- and… and somehow I know that… that I… I had… somehow I know that I was the one that killed them all.”
   “I’m your squad leader, Ness,” the man before us states before clapping a hand onto the horse towering beside him. “And this! Is my horse, Chalet…” 
   My eyes drift away from him, blankly settling on the various horses in their stalls behind me. I’ve tuned him out… I should probably listen to whatever he has to say. But… I’m so tired. Another night of staring at the ceiling while listening to Reiner snore and watching Bertholdt contort himself into a coil across the room. 
   I don’t know how many sleepless nights I have left. 
   My body lurches forward slightly as someone nudges me from behind. I turn to face whoever it was. Jean is towering over me with a smirk on his face as he pretends to be watching Squad Leader Ness. “...what the hell was that for?” I mutter, facing forward.
   “You were falling asleep again,” he chuckles quietly, “Another… late night?”
   I scoff and shake my head, “You’re a child.”
   “You didn’t say ‘no’.”
   “No, Jean,” I hiss, “I just… couldn’t sleep.”
   I can feel him deflate slightly behind me. “...oh…”
   “Yeah.”
   “...I get them, too.”
   “I really hope you don’t.”
   Connie, standing beside me, scoots closer. “What’re we talkin’ about?”
   Jean answers at the same time as I do. “Sex.”
   “Food.”
   Connie’s eyebrows furrow slightly as he risks a glance at me. “...huh?”
   I sigh and roll my eyes, “We were talking about-”
   “Did someone say ‘food’?” Sasha whispers excitedly behind me. 
   I sigh and roll my eyes again. “You three are-”
   “Hilarious.”
   “Your favorites.”
   “Really hungry.”
   Groaning softly, I shake my head at their responses. “Gods… I thought Armin, Eren, and Mikasa were a lot… then I had to get you knuckleheads thrown in, too.”
   “Now!” Ness states, looking significantly more disheveled than he did a few minutes ago. Adjusting the bandana around his head, he huffs and stands up straight. “Follow me and I’ll show you to your dorms- and then you’ll be introduced to your horses.”
   He walks off, leading us between the stables and the looming walls of the castle. My eyes trail up the crumbling stone- plants and vines and flowers managing their way through the cracks- and over the rolling hills dotted with trees. Sunlight floods the stone courtyard, basking us all in its warmth.
   It reminds me of home. 
   Not Shiganshina- but of the modest cottage in the forest. I smile to myself, watching Sasha bother Jean with Connie’s help just in front of me. I remember playing with her in the trees. We made and marked that forest. There isn’t a tree in that entire forest we haven’t carved up with arrows and knives or with the undersides of our shoes as we climbed their roots and limbs. Sasha would be afraid at first- of foxes or wolves or falling or tripping. But as soon as I took her hand and led her to the sunlight, to the tops of the trees, to the very breath of the sky… she’d always hunger for more. To go to the brightest spot in the forest, to climb the highest tree, to scale the steepest cliff. 
   My smile starts to fade slightly. 
   She’s even more afraid than she used to be… did I cause that? Does she even remember? She was young when I left… Does she remember when she scraped her knee and told her that she was now one with the forest- that its blood was in her and her blood in it? Does she remember that first tree we climbed together? Does she remember the nights we would run barefoot around the dew-covered clearings in the heart of the woods with no light to guide us except that of the moon? Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?
   Will we ever get to go back…?
   The group stops. Ness smiles at us and points down the hallway to our left. “Down this hallway are the boys’ rooms,” he points to the hallway to our right. “And down this one is the girls’.” He chuckles and turns back to us. “There is… one other thing.”
   Uh oh. 
   “There’s only one bathroom.”
   I stifle a groan. It’s a goddamn castle. How in the walls is that even possible- one bathroom, my ass.
   “Well… only one that’s in good enough shape to be used, anyway. ‘sides the officers’ bathroom...” Ness admits, a sheepish smile growing on his lips as he rubs the back of his head. “You’re welcome to fix up the other ones, though! ...although, I think you’d need help…” Ness continues muttering more to himself than anyone else. 
   One bathroom. Unbelievable. I growl under my breath as Ness marches us back out into the courtyard. You’d think Captain Shortstack would be all over the renovations of this place- bathrooms included. 
   Whatever. It’s not like I shower when everyone else does, anyway. There’s always a possibility I could sneak into the officers’ bathroom like when we were in training… And there was that river...
   “I can see you already coming up with a plan,” Sasha appears next to me, lowering her voice. “What’re ya thinkin’?”
   I laugh softly, nudging her arm with my elbow. “Nothing regarding food.”
   Sasha pouts slightly, “Fine… then what’re ya thinkin’ about?”
   “Just plannin’ my way into the officers’ bathroom.”
   “Oooh,” Sasha laughs maliciously. “Do you think they’ll have hot water?”
   I sigh, closing my eyes and imagining the steam and feel of hot water cascading down my body. Hot water was a privilege in the Cadet Corps. ...one that was constantly being robbed from me. I’d mostly show up after everyone had already showered, praying that maybe I’d have even a moment to myself to unwind- and to not be stared at. And nearly every time, I bathed in freezing cold water. But there were a few times where I’d be wrapped in steam, delicate streams of hot water warming my frigid body. 
   ...now that I think about it, those ‘few times’ were whenever Reiner would wake me up early to get in the shower before everyone else.
   “Gods,” I mumble, looking at Reiner as he walks with Bertholdt and Annie. “I really hope so, ‘tato-muncher.”
   As if he felt my gaze on him, Reiner turns around and smiles. I return the smile with a scrunch of my nose. Reiner’s eyes glide behind me for a second, returning to me before darting back behind me. I turn around to follow his gaze. 
   Eren. 
   Eren runs straight for us, green cape flaring out behind him as he charges towards the group. Our eyes meet and his pace increases. My hand latches onto Sasha’s sleeve and tugs, “‘Tato! ‘Tato, look!” I laugh, slapping Connie’s shoulder. “Look who it is!”
   Connie and Sasha turn around and I can hear the others turn along with them. Armin and Mikasa greet him first, taking him into their arms and speaking quietly amongst themselves for a moment. When they break away, Eren’s smile widens as he looks over us. 
   “...you’re all here?” he asks quietly, smile slightly fading. “You all joined the Scouts?”
   “Well, yeah,” I laugh, “Why else would we be here- shits ‘nd giggles?”
   Eren rolls his eyes before scanning over us again. “Wait… if you’re all here… That means Jean, Marco, and Annie all joined the Military Police.”
   My heart plummets like a rock into my stomach. That’s right. He wasn’t there for the funeral. He doesn’t know. 
   The remaining section of our group walks up behind Eren- Jean leading them all. Eren turns around and groans. “Not you, too.”
   Jean doesn’t react. His face unreadable and voice flat, he rips the bandage off. “Marco’s dead.”
   “...what?” Eren mumbles, “What did you just… What’d you just say? Did you say Marco died?”
   Jean’s voice stays still as he continues.
   “Seems like not everyone can die a dramatic death.”
   “You don’t think it’s weird?” I laugh, picking up a section of hay and starting back towards the stable. “We know everyone, every thing’s position in the formation except Eren’s- arguably the most volatile and important piece of information to have. That isn’t the least bit confusing to you?”
   Reiner shrugs, taking the hay from my hands. “Dunno… I haven’t really thought about it.”
   I huff and shake my head, stepping in front of him and taking the hay back. “I can carry it,” I mutter, looking at the ridges growing in his face. “And by the look on your face, you have been thinking about it.” I turn around, lifting the hay over the stable door and onto the growing pile just beside my horse. 
   My horse nudges me with his nose, huffing. I smile and rub my hand up and down his nose, “...needy, aren’t we?” I whisper softly. 
   “Ya gonna give him a name?” Reiner asks, patting his hand against the horse’s neck. 
   Peeking down under the horse’s neck, I squint up at him. “You didn’t answer me.”
   Reiner rolls his eyes and walks away, sighing. “You didn’t ask anything.”
   “I asked if you were thinking about why we weren’t being filled in on Eren’s location in the formation.”
   “Technically, you didn’t ask,” he shoots back. 
   My eyes lock with his in an intense stare. “...we really gonna do this right now?” I ask quietly, still petting my horse.
   Reiner sighs and looks away, running a hand through his hair. I turn back to my horse, letting my forehead rest against his cheek. Reiner sighs again. The three of us stand in silence- only my horse breaking the silence with occasional huffs and flicks of his tail.
   “...I have been thinking about it,” Reiner finally mumbles. “But… not like you have.”
   Here we go again with him being all cryptic and skittish and avoidant. I am so sick of this game. 
   “Then how have you been thinking about it, Reiner?” I hiss, lifting my head off my horse and looking into his large grey eye. “All the time- just when I think you’re gonna open up to me about what’s going on in that…” I sigh frustratedly, “That… that… stupid, thick, adorable, blond head’a yours you just… you shut me back out again. And it’s so goddamn irritating, Rei,” I admit with a slight squeak in my voice. 
   Slowly, I turn to face him, gaze dropping down to the ground. “...I’ve been… I’ve been so open with you. More open than I have with anyone in my whole life- except, I dunno... Sasha- but I just… It’d be nice to have some’a that returned.”
   I can hear him get closer to me. Gently, his arms wrap around me and tuck me into his chest. I’m swallowed in his embrace as he runs his fingers up and down my back. “...okay,” he whispers, “okay, darling… I’ll… I’ll try and open up to you, okay? I’ll…” he trails off and sighs, tightening his hold on me as he places his chin on the top of my head. 
   “I know how hard it is, and… I… I’m not trying to force it out of you or anything… I just… I want to help you,” I whisper quietly. “And I promise you, Rei...I’m not going anywhere.”
   There’s a coldness in his laugh. It leaves his lips like ice and falls to the floor like daggers. “Thank you, darling. Just…,” Reiner takes my shoulders, pushing us apart. His gold eyes have slightly lost their luster as they peer deep into me. I squirm slightly in his stare, eyebrows furrowing. “You have to understand that there is a lot happening- something... bigger, darling.”
   I blink and tilt my head slightly to the side.  “Did you… did you get another assignment?” I ask quietly, “Something under the table?”
   Reiner is quiet for a moment, eyes flicking between mine. “...yes. Something under the table- from people higher than the Captain.”
   My eyes widen slightly. Is this what’s been weighing on him for so long? That’s why he’s been missing at times? What he’s been trying to tell me? Another assignment that he can’t talk about, even with me-
   Oh gods. 
   I feel like a total ass.
   “Who…?” I ask quietly, taking note of the way he straightens up to scan around us before shrinking back down. 
   Reiner scoots us back, tucking me up against the stable door. “I… I can’t tell you but… you understand that, right, darling?” He asks hopefully, a small lilt to his voice. Gently, his fingers trail my face and a small smile crosses my face. His lips mirror mine. 
   “I understand that, love,” I hum, leaning into his touch. “I do… I do have another question.”
   Reiner smiles wider, lovingly staring down at me. “What is it, darling?”
   Nervous claws at my stomach. 
   I shouldn’t ask this.
   Why? He’s finally being open with me- willing to at least tell me what’s wrong. Shouldn’t I-
   No. There’s something bigger here. Don’t. Ask. 
   “__________?” 
   I swallow my fear and meet his gaze. “...I heard you the night after the first clean-up operation,” I admit quietly, “with Annie and Bertholdt.”
   Reiner’s eyes darken, dropping down and avoiding my gaze. “...how much did you...?”
   “Not much,” I laugh nervously, “Just you guys arguing about telling me… and Annie saying to only tell me when you’re sure of how I’d feel.”
   With a sigh of relief, he closes his eyes and smiles. He quickly presses his lips to my forehead. “Okay, okay… Okay… Sorry, I just… I don’t need t’get... chewed out for that.”   I chuckle softly, “So… that big’a deal, huh?”
   Reiner laughs, “Yes. That big of’a deal.”
   “...so… it’s you, Annie, and Bertholdt,” I mumble, picking at the leather strap running down his chest. “Anyone else that I know?”
   “No, just us three.”
   “Am… am I in danger?” I ask jokingly, “All this secrecy- it makes me wonder.”
   Reiner doesn’t laugh with me. 
   “Rei?” I call, looking up at him. “...am I?”
   His eyes slide down to me, a small smile on his lips. “...stick with me, darling- I’ll keep ya safe.”
   “...what?”
   “There’s a lot at work here, __________,” Reiner sighs, his eyes going hazy for a second as he relives whatever is ‘at work’. Blinking, he focuses back on me. “But I can keep you safe. I’ve been keeping you safe.”
   What does this even mean? Are there people I can’t trust? If that’s true, then what? What am I supposed to do? Be some tiny little doll cowering in fear behind him? I hate being treated like some weak, fragile, defenseless thing. And what if he gets hurt protecting me? What then? What if something goes wrong and he ends up being blamed for something he didn’t do? 
   And what about Sasha? 
   “...what about my sister? What about her? Who’s gonna keep her safe?” I ask, clutching the fabric covering his chest, “If anything happens to Sasha, I…”
   “Nothing’s gonna happen to Sasha,” Reiner hums quietly, “We’re gonna keep her safe.”
   “And Eren? Mikasa? Armin? What about the boys? If any of them get hurt, Rei, I just… I don’t think I could…”
   “__________,” he says firmly, catching my attention. Slowly, my eyes slide up to meet his again. They’re gentle and glowing in the fading sunlight. His hand trails down my face again, leaving a buzzing wake behind it. 
   “You need to trust me.”
   I swallow and nod quickly. “Okay, yes, okay… Okay, you’re right. We… We are all gonna be okay.”
   Reiner chuckles and lets his chin rest on the top of my head as he tucks me into his chest again. 
   “That’s my girl.”
   “Oiii!” I yell, waving a hand over my head. “Ponytail!”
   Eld’s head starts swiveling around, looking for whoever called him. With a gentle kick of my horse, he trots closer. “Eld!” I call again, sliding off the side of my horse. My feet hit the dirt just in front of him as I straighten up, shaking a few stray hairs out of my eyes. “It’s good to see ya again.”
   Eld smiles and chuckles, gesturing down to the emerald green cape around my shoulders. “So you made it.”
  I look down and rub the fabric between my fingers. A smile crosses my face as I look back up to him. “Just like I dreamed I would.”
   “You’re in pretty high spirits,” Oluo scoffs as he walks by with a supply box. Setting it down into a wagon, he huffs and turns to face us. “Considering we’ll all be facing death in a few hours.”
   “Always the charmer, huh?” I mutter quietly, earning a small laugh from Eld. “And if you have t’know, I’m just happy we’re one step closer to going outside the walls…” I smile to myself, imagining the places Armin used to talk about. Fire water, ice hills, saltwater that goes on for so long even the merchants couldn’t drain all the salt from it. 
   I think that’ll be my favorite. ‘Sea’.
   Oluo scoffs again. “Bright-eyed, suicidal recruit… Just don’t get someone else killed, will ya?”
   “What the hell’s that supposed t’mean?” I snap back. 
   Oluo smiles crookedly, realisation splitting his face like a piece of china. “Struck a nerve, huh?,” he laughs, “Better get rid of those if you wanna make it.”
   “Bold talk for someone that’s too insecure to keep his own personality,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. I turn my attention back to Eld- who’s gone awfully quiet as the two of us went at it. A blush is back on his cheeks and I can see him fidgeting with his gaze in an effort to mind his own business. 
   “...uhm…” He mumbles as his eyes catch someone walking behind me. “This is Petra!” Eld blurts, tugging a woman by the arm. “The one that checked on you when you were, uh… asleep.”
   “In a coma, more like,” I laugh, dipping my head to the woman. She has ginger hair cut just above her shoulders and soft, kind eyes. There’s something about her that reminds me so much of a deer for some reason. 
   Petra’s eyes suddenly light up as she looks over me again. “I remember you- you’re __________! I didn’t know you had your heart set on the Scouts. Which is surprising… considering how much Eld talks about you.”
   Eld’s face goes even redder. He stands rigidly, eyes fixated on the horizon. 
   ...I think he just went into shock. 
   “Well, thank you,” I hum, giving Petra another smile. “For checking in on me.”
   Petra shakes her head, “It wasn’t any issue at all.”
   I dip my head again and lightly punch Eld’s shoulder. “Hopefully you told her the story of how I kicked your and Oluo’s asses.”
   Petra tilts her head slightly to the side before a wicked smile crosses her lips. “...I don’t think I’ve heard that one, __________. Please, tell me.”
   “Well, I was walking down an alleyway when-”
  “That’s good!” Eld suddenly yelps, “Thank you so much, __________, for stopping by, but the Captain’s calling us!”
   Petra giggles as Eld walks behind her, pushing her by the shoulders. Captain Shortstack Jackass is watching them with his arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows furrowed. He very obviously didn’t call either of them. “You’ll have to tell me when we get back!” Petra calls. 
   “Of course!” I laugh, watching as Eld goes even redder. Petra waves over his shoulder and I do the same before mounting my horse. I give his neck a gentle pat and urge him forward- back towards the stable. 
  “You... need a name, Horse,” I mutter as we trot past the various wagons and other Scouts getting their horses and gear ready. “All horses have names… I guess.”
   Horse huffs at me. 
   “Well… you’re…” I look down at his coat as we start to pick up speed. It shimmers in the sunlight, revealing the faint speckles of black and grey under his cream-colored coat. “You’re cream and you’ve got freckles. And last I checked, you have grey-” Horse looks over slightly at me, light-brown eyes glistening. “Sorry… brown eyes. And black mane and tail.”
   My eyes flick up, locking onto the figure standing just a few feet in front of my horse. Gripping the reins, I tug back to stop Horse from trampling whoever is in front of me. Instead, I feel myself being shot forward and colliding with the ground. Pain shoots out from my arm, branching out in heated flashes. 
   I roll onto my back and stare up at the clouds as they lazily float by. “Gods…” I mutter to myself, “That sucked.”
   “Told you I’m better at handling horses than you.”
   I sit straight up. My head on a swivel, I look around for the voice. It sounded just like… It couldn’t have been- no. No, I’m just-
   My eyes land on him. Standing just a couple feet away, with a green Scouts cape on over his shoulders and ODM gear strapped on. He laughs, walking closer and shaking his head. “Jeez, __________, you’ll really get yourself killed if you keep trying to keep up with me.”
   “Freckles?” I whisper.
   Marco smiles and laughs again, “Really hit your head hard, didn’t you?”
   “Freckles?” I whisper again, reaching out to touch him.
   This isn’t real. It can’t be real. He’s dead. Bit in half. Died alone. Left in the sun to rot for days. He’s dead. 
   “Ah, jeez, you really did hit your head hard,” Marco mumbles, crouching down beside me. “We gotta get you to Sasha. She’s got some experience with injuries, doesn’t she…? And I won’t even tell Reiner! It’ll just be between us, okay?” He asks, worriedly scanning my face. 
   “Freckles, you… You… You aren’t here.”
   “What are ya talkin’ about? I’m right here, remember? We were practicing horseback riding and maneuvering. Don’t you remember the bet we had?”
   Wait a moment.
   This was real.
   This… this happened already, why am I…?
   “...it was my haul from the Commandant’s office,” I whisper, “The… the fountain pen. You’d… you’d take it if I couldn’t pull off a sharp turn and activate my ODM gear while jumping off my horse.”
   Tears start to cloud my vision as I stare up at him. “You aren’t really here,” I croak, “Are you?”
   Marco shakes his head.
   “...I miss you, Freckles,” I smile, tears slipping down my face as I look up at him. My hand brushes through his cheek- like he was a colored mist- but his smile remains. “Gods, I miss you.”
   “You’ll see us again.”
   I nod, feeling my tears start down the sides of my face. “...tell Franz and Hanna I said ‘hi’.”
  “I will.”
   “And you… you stay outta trouble, you hear me?” I laugh, tears choking me at the base of my chest. 
   “You’re the one that needs to stay outta trouble.”
   I nod and laugh again, shaking my head.
   “...take… take care’a the others for me, will you?” I nod silently. Marco looks up as Horse trots closer. “It’s time for me to go. Just… close your eyes, okay?”
   My eyes slide closed before voices start to swarm around me. Bleeding into one another, it makes it so damned hard to hear what anyone is actually saying. All I can do is feel. 
   And someone’s got me by the shoulders, shaking me pretty damned hard. 
   I open my eyes to see familiar faces. “...I’ve got to stop waking up to you guys looking down at me like I’ve died.”
   The four of them sigh. 
   “If you die because of a stupid horse incident, I’ll never forgive you,” Jean mutters, getting to his feet and walking away. I can hear him muttering about ‘how stupid’ of a funeral that would be. 
   “What?” I laugh, wincing at the pain shooting from above my left eye. My fingers graze the spot- only to pull away with a scarlet coloring. 
   Ah, shit. 
   “So,” Reiner grumbles, scooping me off the ground effortlessly. “You and your horse have a bit of an issue?”
   I scoff, curling into myself as my head starts to pound. 
   “No?” He asks as we walk towards the castle. “Then what the Hell kind of stunt were you tryin’a pull?”
   “I-,” I stop and groan, clutching my temples as they begin to sear. “I… I thought… I thought I saw someone.”
   Reiner looks down at me as he pushes the castle door open with his back. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes flicking over every inch of me. It’s the same damn look as every other time I’ve gotten hurt. Which… arguably… is a lot of times. 
   The ODM incident where I almost cracked my skull open on a tree branch. 
   The time I slipped and fell in the bathroom. 
   The sparring training where I cracked three of my ribs. And my arm. And dislocated my shoulder. All because I wouldn’t yield.
   The rooftop. 
   The grocery store. 
   Various little minor accidents scattered throughout.  
   And now this.
   We round the corner and he places me onto a bed. I watch as he runs a hand down my face and sticks his head out the hallway to look around before returning to my side. Reiner sighs. “What am I gonna do with you?”
   “Love me,” I hum, closing my eyes slightly as the pain throbs and squirms beneath my skin. “Unconditionally.”
   “Gods,” he mutters, scooting closer. “I probably will.”
  “Probably?” I ask quietly. “Not ‘most definitely’?”
   A deep sigh passes his lips. It rumbles in his chest like thunder. Calming, soothing, gentle thunder. Memories of the forest running to find shelter as another storm took us by surprise. Bare feet padding the grass. Clothes sticking to our skins. Hair plastered to our faces- much like our smiles. Wiping her face as she ducks behind my arm. Telling her that the forest was telling the sky a joke, that the thunder was the sky’s laughter. Watching her peek out to watch the forest and sky talk, laughing as she swears she heard the punchline. 
   Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?
   “Hey,” Rei mutters, shaking my arm slightly. “Don’t go to sleep on me yet.”
   “...sorry,” I mumble, opening my eyes and letting them glide to his spot beside me. “Where is she-”
  The door slams open. Sasha- with eyes wide and clutching medical supplies to her chest- pants in the doorway. “Did I make it?” She asks wearily. 
   “Did…,” I trail off, sitting up to look at her. “Did you think I died?”
   Sasha shakes her head, kicking the door closed just as Connie and Jean try to walk in behind her. “No,” she mutters. Plopping down beside me, she looks over me. “Just thought maybe you’d passed out.”
   “Check my eyes,” I remind her. Sasha nods and leans in, forcing open my eyes with her fingers. 
   “...your eye-holes seem to be fine.”
   “...my pupils?”
   “Eye-holes. Same thing.”
   I know Sasha’s joking but by the look on Reiner’s face, he does not.
   “She’s only kidding, love,” I whisper as I take his hand. “She knows the basics.”
   “Yep,” Sasha agrees, digging through the pile of medical supplies she brought in. “And you don’t have a concussion- and that thing on your head doesn’t need stitches- it should heal in a week or so... so you’re good to go after I clean it… ha!” She snatches a bottle of saline and a bandage. “You’ll be all good in no time, __________. Trust me.”
   I’m the one that taught her. Why don’t I trust her?
   “You awake?”
   I focus back in on the now. The present. My surroundings. 
   Scattered trees and hills to the right. Denser trees on my left. Two horses trailing behind me. No flares from either direction. Reiner just in front of me. 
   “Always am.”
   “Good.” He starts to pull back on his horse, levelling off with me. “How’s your head?”
   Instinctively, I reach up and graze the bandage. “I don’t feel anything.”
   “Good.”
   “...are you okay?” I ask, looking over at him. His skin is pale and flushed pink with a slight tinge to his ears. “Here. Drink some.” Unbuckling my flask, I hand it to him. 
   ...and he downs the entire thing before handing it back to me. 
   “Rei, are you sick?”
   “No, I just-”
   “Well, love, you look like you’re either about to shit yourself or vomit,” I laugh worriedly, “Are you sure?”
   “__________, listen, I…,” he sighs and looks away. He’s even more red now. 
   I nudge him with my elbow. “I’m listening.” I smirk, stirrupping Horse again. My eyes turn to the horizon, scanning for any flares or anything that approaches us.
   Reiner returns my smile and sighs shakily. “I wanna-”
   Something appears in the distance. “What is that?” I mumble, staring at the thing. “Do you see it?” I point. “That.”
    Reiner looks at the thing, squinting. “I… I can’t tell.”
   “Should we fire a flare off?” I ask, reaching to my saddlebag. “Just in case?”
   “Just… hang on-”
   He stops just as the thing changes form, moving closer towards us and faster. 
   It takes shape as it grows. Fourteen meters, blonde hair. 
   Female body type.
   My hands move on their own- throwing the canister into the gun, lifting it straight up, and firing. Red smoke fires out from the gun into the clouds. “Rei, we have to move!” I yell, turning the horses in towards the center of the formation. 
   I look over my shoulder, watching the two horses trail after Reiner. He stays going forward, heading right for it with glazed eyes. “Reiner!”
   My eyes follow his gaze as I bring Horse to a stop. They land on the Female Titan, who snatches something from mid-air and dropkicks it. Blood trails after the broken body and I watch ODM wires disconnect from the Female Titan’s body- following the body. 
   It’s… is it like Eren? A person inside it?
   “Reiner!” I scream again. 
   It gets his attention. Snapping out of his daze, Reiner makes a sharp turn. 
   As he gets closer, I press my heels into Horse’s sides. “Ha!”
   Footsteps follow after us, thundering and quivering the very organs inside of me. My breath catches in my lungs as I feel it- her- getting closer. Gods. Gods, please. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this.
   Something flashes at my side. With trembling force, a foot lands beside me- crushing one of the horses before it could even make a sound. 
   We’re going to die. Right now, we are going to die. 
   I wince, waiting for her to reach down and crush me in her hand. Reiner yells something but it’s lost in the frantic whinnies of our horses, the pounding of my heart, the panting of my lungs. When it reaches me, it’s blurred together like the colors in my eyes.
   ‘I’ve gotten hurt’ is what it sounds like. 
   Gods, please. Spare us.
   My fists clutch the reins as I look up. Blonde hair, blue eyes, fourteen meters. This is what will kill me. 
   The Female Titan’s other foot collides with the earth beside me. All at once, sounds and colors and shapes retract into their determined forms. Everything flushes back into focus as the Female Titan takes another step away from us. I watch as she continues sprinting towards the center- leaving us in her wake. Her head turns to look over her shoulder before she presses forward. 
   Right to Armin.
   “Rei!” I yell, sticking Horse again. “She’s gonna hit Armin! She’s headed right for him!” 
   “C’mon!” He yells back, appearing at my side.
   “This is the job we chose, right?” Jean snaps, “So lend me a hand!” 
   The rest of us are silent. Only hoofbeats and footsteps resound around us. Silently, Armin pulls his hood up over his head. “...pull your hoods up. Over your heads- far down enough so she can’t see your face.”
   “You’re thinking she won’t kill anyone that could be Eren,” Reiner mutters, tugging his hood up over his head. “...that’s a nice, but small, consolation… Let’s hope she has bad eyes, too.”
   Jean shakes his head, laughing. “I was always creeped out the way you used to hang around Eren so much,” he mutters as he pulls his hood up. “But I always knew you were capable.”
  “...‘creeped out’ is a little harsh but thanks,” Armin mumbles.
   Feeling the three pairs of eyes on me, I tug my hood up as well. “...I always knew I’d die next to you three bastards.”
  “Well. If we don’t,” Reiner chuckles, “We’ll throw a big party ‘nd get married.”
  “Oh yeah,” I scoff, pulling my swords out from their holsters. “We’ll have a big ol’ buffet ‘nd everything. I’ll even have a live band play for us.”
   “You two lovebirds over there still squawking?” Jean barks, leaning forward to glare at us. 
   “Will you shut up for a minute?” Reiner shoots back, “I’m… Kinda doin’ something.”
   “You can ‘kinda do something’ after this!” Jean yells, “We’re not dying today.”
   “Fine!” I snap, “I’m not spending my last moments fighting with you two morons! Let’s just do this. Delay her as long as we can- by any means necessary. Got it?!”
   The three grunt in agreement. “Jean, go to her left,” Reiner starts, “Armin, you go to her right. __________, you-”
   “I’m going with Armin!” I whip my reins and follow after Armin as he heads to the Female Titan’s right hand side. 
   We level off just behind her. “She’s much slower than when she attacked me!” Armin comments, “If we’re going to do this, it has to be now!”
   “Wait for Jean!” I yell, “He’s the best out of us with ODM gear. If he can get a good angle on her, it’ll be us being his support!” 
   A flash shoots out, launching into the Female Titan’s leg. Jean flies in behind it with his swords readied. The Titan crouches down and spins- flinging Jean. Armin and I get to our feet and stand on our horses’ backs. As my wires stick into the Female Titan’s leg, I give Horse a tap of my heel that sends him running away from the Titan. 
   Something swipes just under my legs. Everything around me slows as I watch the Titan’s hand bat Armin’s horse out from underneath him. His name leaves my lips the same way it did when Shiganshina fell. Breathless. Screeching. Desperate. “Armin!”
   “__________!” Reiner’s voice carries out over my own. 
   Before I can do anything, I feel something crack against my back. I’m pushed forward- colliding with the earth and rolling for a few feet. Landing on my back, I stare up in a daze at the clouds. 
   Aching pain crawls through my veins- igniting my muscles in throbbing, squeezing pain. My back arches as I take long, hard breaths to stop my heart from pounding in my ears. It does nothing but amplify the sound as I feel my lungs burn and the cages around them scream in agony. 
   Broken ribs. At least a few on each side. 
   Certain slices and patches of my skin burn from the contact with the ground. Minor scratches, bruises, friction burns.
   I’ll live. If she doesn’t finish me off. 
   Time begins to speed up again- her footsteps not taking so long to hit the ground as they get closer. Clouds seem to flurry past and my heartbeat begins to race once more. 
   The fight isn’t done yet. 
   I push myself to my feet, feeling every ache, every pain, every burn a million times over. 
   The fight isn’t done yet. 
   I’m not done yet. 
   The Female Titan tightens her fist, preparing to swing backwards at Jean. Breaking out into a sprint, I click my triggers and shoot my wires into the ground, allowing me to run faster. A blur of gold and green starts towards the Titan as I do- catching me attention so I stutter and stop. 
   Reiner. 
   Teeth gritted, eyes blazing, blades glinting.   He’s going for her nape.
   Armin’s yelling something. The Titan stays completely still as he continues screaming. 
   And then she snaps. 
   She catches Reiner’s body in her hand. 
   My heart stops. Blood stops. Lungs stop. 
   Everything. 
   Stops.
   “...no.” 
   Chills run down my spine- dull and weak. Nothing like adrenaline. 
   Fear.
   “No… no.”
   I shake my head, watching as Reiner’s body disappears in her grasp. 
   Someone grabs my waist, tugs me away. “No!” I scream, thrashing around as everything starts to move again. “No!” 
   “__________!” Jean yells, pulling me away. “We have to go!” 
   A blur of metal spins out from her grip, severing her fingers off from the base of her palm. Reiner pushes out and around her back. Grabbing Armin, he sprints away from her and towards us. 
   The four of us break out into a sprint as she stares down at her palm. She gets to her feet and runs away from us- her hand still steaming. 
   Something breaks inside of me. Tears start running down my face as Reiner sidles up next to me. Armin- bleeding from his forehead- is in his arms. Titan blood evaporates off of Reiner’s hair and shoulders as he looks down at me. “We’ll be okay! She won’t eat us unless she’s a cannibal! We-”
   I cut him off, punching his shoulder as hard as I can. “Don’t you ever pull that shit again, Reiner Braun!” I snap, furiously wiping the tears rolling down my face. “I swear on the walls, I… I will kill you myself if you do, do you hear me?! You scared the shit outta me! I… I thought I lost you.”
   Reiner laughs breathlessly. “I told you, darling. We haven’t gotten married, yet. I can’t die until that happens.”
   “We aren’t leaving anyone behind,” I snap, tightening Armin’s bandages. “None of that, you hear me?”
   “We might not have a choice,” Armin mutters, “If we all stay behind, we might all-”
   “I said no!” 
   The three of us go silent as Jean continues whistling for his horse. 
   But the question still hangs in the air. 
   Who’s going to stay behind?
   There’s only one horse- there’s four of us. If somehow one of us gets our horse back, we’ll be able to get out of here but until then… We’re stranded in Titan country without a means of escape. 
   “We have to talk about it,” Reiner says quietly. 
   “No,” I get to my feet and shake my head. “No. We don’t.”
   “__________-”
  I hold up a hand to stop him, “Don’t.” Turning to Jean, I gesture to his bag. “You have an emergency flare, yeah?”
   Jean nods and gets it out, loading it into his gun. Shooting it into the sky, purple smoke trails up from our location. 
   It’s a long shot, but they might get the message. 
   “We can wait three more minutes,” Reiner says firmly. “During then, we’ll decide who’s gonna-”
  “I’ll stay.” My head snaps to Armin. “Just get a message to the command section- to Commander Erwin, if you can.”
   “I’m staying, too, then.”
   “__________, no-” Reiner starts. 
   “I don’t want to hear it, Rei,” I mumble, “Please. I don’t… I don’t want to hear it but look. We’re both injured. Armin’s got a possible concussion and he’s bleeding. I’ve broken half a dozen ribs and I’ve got more bruises than I know what to do with. If anyone’s staying it’s-”
   “Neither of you,” Jean laughs, “Someone’s coming this way with three horses.” The three of us look over to him as he shades his face from the sun. “I think it’s… It looks like… Christa!”
   “Guys!” Christa’s dainty voice rings out as she approaches, “Are you okay?!”
   I huff a laugh, “Define ‘okay’, blondie!” 
   “If __________’s still cracking jokes, she’s still alive, right?” Christa laughs, coming to a stop just in front of us. The three horses surrounding her skid to a stop. 
   Horse trots up to me, nudging me with his nose. “Hey there, Horse,” I mutter, pressing my head against his. “Ya miss me?”
   “What happened to you guys?” Christa asks as she looks over me. “You look awful.”
  “Aw, gee, thanks, blondie,” I giggle, “I feel awful.”
   Christa’s soft face tightens slightly in concern. “...you’re sure you’ll be okay riding alone? Your horse… I dunno his name… but he seems to run alongside me pretty well- even without a harness.”
   “Yeah, that’s him, alright,” I mumble, rubbing Horse’s nose. “But I think I’ll be alright.”
   “...I’m with Christa,” Jean says warily, “You broke six ribs.”
   “What?!” Christa screeches. “Six?! No, ma’am! You’re riding with me or with Jean! Six ribs- what were you thinking?!”
   I shrug. “I’ve done worse.”
   “Worse?!” 
   Oops. Shouldn’t have said that.
   Christa sighs, pinching her eyes closed. “Fine. The past is the past. I can’t change it. But you- right now- are going to ride with Jean or me. Pick one.”
   “Yes, Your Majesty,” I mumble with a smirk. “I’ll ride with you. Give the boys a little show, how ‘bout that?”
   Christa turns a light shade of pink as Reiner helps me sit on top of Christa’s horse. “You behave,” Reiner mutters with a stern look. 
   But I can see it. 
   A little mischievous smirk plays his lips as he pulls away. 
   “Yes sir,” I coo, “I’ll be on my best behaviour.”
   The four of us start off towards the center. “What’s your horse’s name?” Christa asks. “He really seems to like you. Before, I couldn’t get him to hold still- then, when I said your name, he calmed down and followed us perfectly fine.”
   “...I just call him Horse.”
   “...oh…”
   I sigh and turn around to watch as Horse gallops. Cream-colored coat hiding thick muscles that twitch and writhe. Dots- freckles- that spatter his coat. His black mane whips about in the wind. 
   “Freckles,” I say quietly. 
   “What?”
   “Freckles. That’s his name.”
   I groan, letting my head fall back as my legs swing off the tree branch. “Rei, we’ve been sitting here for hours and you haven’t said a word to me,” my lip juts out in a pout, “Please talk to me.”
   Reiner grumbles under his breath. His arms cross over his chest as he sits on the farest end of the tree branch away from me. 
   “Baby,” I whine, “you aren’t still mad at me for-”
   “Yes, I’m still mad at you for being a tease. And we’ve been out here an hour. Hour and a half, tops.”
   “Tch,” I groan again, “Baby, it was just a joke. I didn’t mean to drop my ring.” I hold my hand out in the sun to look at my moonstone ring as it glistens. “It wasn’t on purpose.”
   “...you dropped it three times before we got up here.”
  “I would never do anything to tease you.” Reiner raises an eyebrow and I roll my eyes. “On a mission.”
   Rei’s shoulders lose some of their tension. “...you really didn’t mean to?”
   “Of course not, baby,” I coo softly. “Not on a mission.”
   Reiner sighs and rolls his eyes before getting to his feet. Wordlessly, he plops down beside me and lays his hand over mine on the branch. “You only call me ‘baby’ when you’re guilty,” he murmurs into the shell of my ear. “...so I forgive you.”
   “Oh good, you caught on,” I tease, nudging him with my elbow.
   “Easy, there, girl,” he huffs, “you’re still on thin ice.”
  “You can’t stay mad at me,” I turn to face him and flash him a face-splitting smile. “I’m your darling.”
   “...you’re right,” Rei laughs softly. “I could never.”
   The two of us fall into a comfortable- buzzing with adrenaline but still comfortable- silence. I lean forward to look at the Titans gathered at the base of our tree, clawing and gripping the bark in an attempt to get to us. Hungrily, they salivate and stare up at us with glazed eyes.
   The Female Titan. Why is she doing what she was? If she’s human, wouldn’t she want the walls to remain? They keep us safe for the time being. The outside world isn’t ready for us to break down our walls. And if she does want the walls gone, why? 
   And who is she?
   “...are you listening?”
   “Hm?” I ask, leaning back. “No, I’m sorry, I was just…,” my eyes flick down to the Titans, “...lost in thought.”
   “I was just asking how your sides are.”
   My fingers rub against my sides. They aren’t sore, they don’t hurt. I’ve always healed fast but knowing how long it’s supposed to take to heal sometimes, it’s… a little disconcerting. “I don’t feel anything.”
   “...you’re better already?”
   I shrug, “It could just be adrenaline. Or maybe they weren’t as badly broken as we thought they were. Bruising and breaks are really similar…”
   Reiner hums in acknowledgment. “As long as you feel okay. When we get back, I’m still getting you checked out.”
   “Yes sir.”
   I lean over the side of the branch to see the Titans again. “It’s strange that we weren’t directed around the forest.” I comment quietly, leaning over more before my ODM wire locks into place.
   “...Iyeah,” Reiner mutters, “Why wouldn’t we just go around?”
   “I dunno,” I strain, slightly jiggling the wire a bit. “But do you think it was on purpose?”
   “It’s Commander Erwin,” Rei chuckles, “Of course it was.”
   “That’s true… I just… It’s so hard for us to see threats coming in,” I grip the wire and tug harder. “So why send them in?”
   “Assuming he knows of the right flank casualties, we should’ve retreated a long time ago,” he mutters, “But we’re here and the center flank is somewhere in the trees.”
   “Which is also weird, right?” I ask, yanking on the wire even harder. “I mean, if we are gonna go in, why not-”
   The wire snaps out of the branch. The force of me pulling sends me over the edge of the branch. I watch as the wire extends rapidly- reeling me down towards the Titans’ grasps. Reiner runs to the end, reaching out to grab my hand. 
   But it’s too late. 
   A hand wraps around my body and pulls, unlatching my ODM wire from the tree. It starts to tighten as it turns me around to face it. My eyes lock onto it and I scream, thrashing around wildly. My arms are pinned in its hold- trapped against the steel of my ODM blade holsters and the clammy flesh wrapped around me. 
   Another Titan stares at me hungrily. As I look at it, red light starts to pour from its eyes like fog. Without warning, it lunges. I wince and duck away- waiting to be engulfed in moist darkness. 
   It doesn’t come. It’s replaced with an unearthly howl of pain and the sound of tearing flesh. 
   The grip around me falls away and as I’m spun in a free-fall, I catch glimpses of the scene above me. Red fog pours from the Titans’ eyes as they all latch onto the Titan that grabbed me. Bite by bite, they tear into the searing flesh of the Titan and devour the steaming chunks of bleeding meat. 
   They’re… eating it. 
   The red fog. 
   It was real. 
   My body stops, swinging up before I hit the forest floor. As we land on another branch, Reiner hugs me to his body tightly. “You scared the shit out of me,” he says raggedly. I feel tears drip onto my shoulder. But I don’t look at him- even as he pulls away, gripping my shoulders. 
   My eyes are focused on the fog swirling through the bodies of the Titans.
   What the Hell is it? 
   Why does it keep following me?
   Why does it keep saving me?
   “...__________!”
   I’m pulled back into my body- away from the grasping hands of the Titans that force muscles and tendons and organs down their throats. Blankly, I stare at Reiner. “What happened?” he asks quietly, looking over his shoulder at the Titans. “Are you-”
   A scream rips out of my throat as I look down at my hands. My fingers start to rake through my skin, clawing for the source of the red fog. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get it out. 
   Get. It. Out. 
   Reiner’s hands fumble with mine as they try to stop me from continuing the hurried slicing of my skin. “Darling, darling,” he says calmly as he grabs my wrists, “Darling, hey, look at me. Look at me.”
   Wildly, my eyes fly around my surroundings. 
   Get it out. Red fog. Red fog. I have to get it out. I have to find it.
   Red fog. I have to get it out. 
   Red fog. 
   “__________!” Reiner snaps, shaking me by my wrists, “Look at me!”
   My gaze settles on him but I can feel myself twitching and writhing in place. 
   Red fog. 
   Get it out. I have to get it out. 
   “...you’re okay,” he mumurs, “You’re okay now, okay, darling? You’re safe.”
   Tears burst from my eyes, leaking down my face as I roll my hands around from my wrists. Trembling violently, my body falls to the floor. Reiner catches me before I fall, scooping me up under my arms and holding me to him. 
   “There’s something... inside of me,” I strain, keeping down the screams wanting to claw their way out. My nails rake his back- threatening to rip through the fabric. “There is... something inside of me, Rei. I don’t know what it is. And I’m so scared, Rei. I just… I don’t… I don’t understand it. I… I don’t know... what it is. There’s… There’s something inside of me, Reiner, please! Please, Rei! Take it out! Get it out of me!”
WHEW 
a doozy like i said. if you made it this far, i am so proud of you. my short attention span could literally never. as always thank you so much for reading and i hope to hear your thoughts and comments! 
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lo-55 · 4 years
Text
Playing With Fire Ch. 3
Ignition
@emrysaf
You’ve decided. You’re going to marry Maki. 
You’re going to marry her and adopt Sputter and Flare, and you’ll all live happily ever after in the cathedral and- 
You’re broken out of your thoughts when Maki smacks you so hard you literally see stars and throws you on the ground. 
“... owe.”
If everything else hadn’t cemented the fact that you were really living inside Fire Force, the pain of Maki’s fist and the hard concrete under your cheek sure would have. Holy hell, how was she so strong?
You roll over on your back to look up at her. 
“I bet,” you begin, “that you could bench press me if you really wanted to.”
Maki’s cheeks pink and she huffs down at you. “Why aren’t you using your pyrokinesis? Do you think I can’t handle it?”
I have no idea how to do that! 
“Nope, Nope! I’m sure you could wipe the floor with me, it’s not that miss!” You said quickly. “I was just in awe of you, sorry,” you salute quickly, and watch pink crawl across Maki’s face. 
So cute!! 
“H-honestly! At least use your spear!” 
You perk up. Spear? The Sun Spear? Is that what you have here? An answer! Finally! An answer! 
Maki takes your surprise for something else. “No one told you that they’d sent it over ahead of you? You should really keep better of your gear.” 
You dip your head quickly. “Yes, yes. Sorry. Can you show me where it is, please?” 
“Sure,” Maki smiles at you, “We’re about done for now, anyhow. Let’s go back inside and wash up. Sister Iris and Shinra should be waiting.” 
Maki takes you back into the cathedral, away from the training area on the roof. The cathedral really is pretty run down. The walls could use a good scrubbing, the floor boards either need to be replaced or are missing entirely, and there’s a lot of cracks in the tile and missing corners. The windows are fine, if not dusty, and the stained glass pieces are really beautiful. The whole place smells faintly of burnt wood and gun oil. It’s not bad, but its certainly unfamiliar. Everything is so vivid. The way it smells. The sound of the building settling, and the birds outside, and the voices of your new comrades. 
It’s amazing. 
Kinda terrifying, but crazy cool too. 
After a quick shower for each of you Maki shows you to the weapons room, where a long, thin case is rested against a wall between two racks of guns. Obi’s shield is propped up in one corner, along with a couple of his weird stabbing things that he puts infernals to rest with. You’ve been here two days now, and you’ve seen him use it twice.
You don’t know how, but you know instinctively that that case belongs to you. 
You go to it. There’s a strap along the back, like the kind on a violin case. You carefully set it on a table, mindful of the bullets stacked on top of it. With a few clicks you undo the buttons on either end and open up the case. Inside is a long staff, deep red in color and capped at the bottom with copper colored metal that curves into a diamond point. On the opposite end is a thin band of the same metal, that reveals the inside to be hollow. 
You pick it up carefully, testing its weight in your hands. It feels natural. Even though you’ve never actually fought with a spear before your body knows where to hold it, and how to spin it around elegantly until you’re facing Maki again. Your body knows how much space you’re taking up, and how not to hit the walls, while your brain geeks out over the fact that you’re actually holding the Sun Lance. 
So cool! 
Is it conceited to say that you’re super cool? Or that this was hella badass? 
You were almost bouncing on your toes you were so excited. 
“Wow, I didn’t know you missed your spear this much,” Maki smiled at you. “You look good with it.” 
“Aha, you think so? It’s just nice to have it I guess. This has been, I dunno. An adventure already. I’m in a strange place, with strange people, and I’m in an awfully dangerous situation. It’s been an adjustment, ya know?” 
You feel like a fool for rambling, but Maki smiles at you kindly. 
“I understand. Even though I was raised in a military family, it took me a while to get used to life as a fire soldier too. Don’t worry too much about it, and you know, we’re always here to help. It’s not like you have to go it alone.” 
You’re heart warms with her words. “Yeah. Thank you, Maki. You’re really a nice person.” 
Once the Sun Lance is safe in its case the two of you leave the armory, and make your way to the dorm rooms. 
Since the company is so small, each person gets their own room. In bigger companies you would be in actually dorms, or barracks, but the eighth only has Obi, Hinawa, Maki, Sister Iris, Shinra, and yourself. Arthur will be here soon too, and Tamaki. Your small company will grow soon. 
Your own room ended up being at the top of one of the towers on the west side of the cathedral, opposite of the garage. Which meant that last night, when the alarm had gone off, you’d been the last to arrive at the Matchbox. Near the garage are the locker rooms, and the communal showers, although there’s more bathrooms scattered through the base. 
In the center of the cathedral is the courtyard where Sister Iris purifies herself, and grows flowers. 
It’s really a nice place. 
“Thank you,” you say again, and Maki nods to you and leaves you to climb the steps on your own. You shut the door and lock it behind you. 
Your room is scant, all things considered. A bunk bed it pushed into each corner, with a desk underneath it. You’ve claimed the one nearest to the window. There’s a wardrobe on the opposite side, and a small, stocky book shelf. 
You need to hang up some pictures or get a rug or something. It’s entirely impersonal. 
You rest your Sun Lance up against the corner by the window and go to sit at the desk under your bed. You’ve already unpacked your few belongings into the wardrobe and the drawers of the desk, including the diary from ‘Fuyuki’. 
Your ‘sister’. The game honestly hadn’t told you a whole lot about her. Just that she disappeared, and what few flashbacks you would have now and again. Like the one you got when you touched your ring and the lighter.  
You open it up with careful hands. 
Inside the handwriting is familiar, even if the words aren’t. There’s no mistaking your hand writing. It looks like a serial killer in a movie has left a ransom note made out of letters cut out of magazines. 
I wonder if there’s cereal in the kitchen. 
You always think better when you’re snacking. 
To keep your thoughts in order, you scatterbrain.
<3 Fuyuki 
 The first entry is dated for 193 AC. After the Cataclysm. It’s 198 now, so this was given to MAIN (to you?) five years ago. That would have been right before she graduated the fire academy and joined her company. A year before she disappeared, around 194. 
It feels invasive to read the diary of the person whos life you’ve taken over, but you need answers and you don’t have a lot of options here. 
I can’t believe Fuyuki gave me a diary! That’s so lame, and super girly. I don’t really want to write in it, but she gave it to me so I guess I should? Even if I am kinda mad at her. She left to go to school years ago and she never comes home! She’s so mean but then she’s nice and its so frustrating! Not fair. Stupid sister. 
But i’ll try i guess. There’s not much else to do in the house. None of the other kids really wanna play with me, and the Yagi’s are busy watching the littler kids. And maybe i’ll have kids and their kids will have kids will have kids will have kids and i’ll be their super cool ancestor and they’ll read this for inspiration or something. 
Good god, how old were they when they started writing this? Twelve? How old even were you? 
Fuck it. 
You kept reading. They/you weren’t a regular writer, with long months going between entries. Some of them were sad, some of them were happy, most of them were angry. They had a lot of complicated feelings on the sister who had abandoned them to what was basically a group home outside Asakusa, and then bitterness at themselves for being so angry when she disappeared. But most of it wasn’t that useful. It was about grades and teachers, and grief. They got into a lot of fights, and they were something of a scrapper. They were briefly enrolled in martial arts classes, but they had to quit because they were too rough with the other kids. So they were a scrapper, but that wasn’t anything related to fire. 
You rubbed your temples and glared at the diary. How did it answer your questions but leave you with more? 
Why is this my life now? 
So much here didn’t make sense, nonetheleast the fact that you were here to begin with. Well. At least you finally knew what your pyrokinesis was right? Even if using it was nearly impossible, and you couldn’t make sense of everything. 
Of course, there were plenty of things in this world that didn’t make sense. Like how sound could turn fire into ice. 
Bringing back the dead made more sense than that! 
You cross your arms and glare at the diary. So far the only useful bit is the part where you’ve had some decent training. Everything else is just the most vague information about the investigation into her sister’s disappearance. That much you already knew, although you didn’t have time to read everything in it. There were big gaps that you just knew were holding important information! 
At a loss, you flipped to the very last written on page, halfway through, and froze. 
Staring back at you was your own face. A small picture. It was your resume for the squad assignments, with your own check boxes and preferences listed. Underneath it was the list you had written before, of Everything You Knew. It was short, with little screen caps here and there. You flipped the page and found it filling itself in with ink that didn’t come from a pen, finishing up what it started on the page before. 
A new page started, this one listed your stats. 
In game there were a hundred levels. You had gotten maybe halfway through? A third if you rounded down. And it listed your level at 40. Underneath had your attack power, defense, stamina, agility, and your special moves. 
You were weirdly well rounded. Three out of five bars for everything, except the SM, which only had one. 
But, you hadn’t put that there! 
You quickly flipped it back and forth before you went to the very, very last page in the diary. On the back cover the ink finally finished filling out. A progress bar. 
You stared at it for a long, long time, trying to work over everything was happening. 
So. 
Now you knew what you could do. Just not how to do it. 
You were out of options at this point. You were just going to have to suck it up. 
You were going to have to ask someone for help directly. 
 ~
Shinra looks up from his work when you plop into the seat across from him, your arms crossed across your chest. It would be a lie to say you’re not nervous. You’re not even totally sure how you’re supposed to ask these questions, but you don’t have any other way to go about this any more. 
You tried the diary. You’ve spent two and a half days trying to get your ignition ability to work without help. Admittedly, you hadn’t even know how your ability was meant to manifest at the time, but even now you can’t get it to work.  
“Oh, hey there,” Shinra offers you an awkward smile. You grin right back, trying to project as much happy-go-lucky-nothing-wrong-here-!-  as you can. It’s made easier by the fact that prior to a few days ago, no one here had known you as anything more than a passing acquaintance. 
“Hi Shinra. I’ve got a weird question for you,” you announce bluntly. 
Shinra looks a little more wary, and he’s starting to smile. 
“Oh yeah? What is it?” 
“Ah, it’s pretty simple actually. How do you activate your abilities?” 
“Huh?” 
“How do you-” 
“No, I heard you,” he holds up his hand to cup you off. “It’s just a weird question.” 
“Hey man, I told you it was gonna be one.” 
You stare at each other for a long minute before Shinra huffs and looks towards the ceiling. He might not be the best person to ask. Maybe you should ask Maki, but Shinra makes you feel secure and you trust him more than anyone else just yet. 
“How do I activate my abilities? I dunno. I guess for me it’s more like I have to turn it off.” 
You tilt your head, listening intently to Shinra. 
“When I was a kid… I had a hard time controlling my flames. They started up suddenly, and burned through my shoes and pants. I ended up wearing these extinguisher boots, and shorts, so I wouldn’t destroy everything around me. It took a long time to figure out what was going on, but someone finally explained it to me. For a lot of third generation pyrokinetics, the thing that triggers out ability is the memory of the first time they happened.” 
You falter. “But, wait. Didn’t yours activate when-” 
“Yeah,” he cuts in, shooting you a grin that’s anything but happy. Your heart clenches in your chest. 
“Oh god, Shinra…” That meant that every time he used his powers, he had to remember his mother’s ‘death’ and his brother's disappearance. He had to think of pain and fear and grief, and he used his flames so often-
“It’s okay,” he cuts in. You can’t imagine what kind of face you’re making. “It was painful at first, and it still is, but it’s a good reminder for what I’m fighting for, and why I’m working so hard towards that goal. I will find a way to stop human combustion. I will make sure no one else ever has to grieve the way I did.”  
“Shinra,” you say softly. “You really are something.” 
Shinra tries to shrug off your words, but his smile is a little more genuine. “I just wanna be a hero.” 
“You will be,” you promise him. It’s all you can do not to tell him the truth then and there. His mother is alive, and suffering. His brother is alive, and suffering. 
They need help. 
But you hold your tongue. You don’t have any way of proving it to him, and there’s already so many things that are different here than they were in the game, or the show. Your presence being one of them. 
You let out a breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something so painful.” 
Shinra shakes his head. “What made you ask?” 
“Honestly?” you rubbed the back of your neck, “I’ve been having trouble using my abilities since we left the academy. I thought maybe if I asked you how you do it, I might be able to figure it out.” 
Shinra looks startled. “Really? I guess that explains why you haven’t used them in the last few days. You never really held back when we were training.” 
“Sorry to disappoint?” you offer lamely. “I just can’t figure it out.” 
“Well… Have you thought about when you first activated your powers?” 
“That’s just it,” you say sadly. “I don’t remember when it happened at all. So that’s not really an option for me.” 
“Oh.” 
You frown, and draw in on yourself. You can’t help it. You have no way to activate the powers you now know you have, and you’re in a bad place to be powerless in general. Not to mention these people are going to expect you to help, and you can’t help, and if you can’t help then- 
Shinra’s hands land on your shoulders, startling you. It’s a warm touch, one that sinks into you with comfort and kindness. Shinra looks seriously at you, his red eyes bright and intent. 
“Whatever happens, I know you’ll figure it out, and I’ll help you as much as I can. Even if I have to protect you in missions for now. So put your trust in me for now, okay?” 
Your heart thumps hard in your chest and heat spreads through your body. It grows hotter and hotter, centering somewhere in your chest and your back. 
Light blooms behind you and you barely turn your head to see a flicker of white fire over your shoulders, wings stretching over your back. They’re small, going no further down than you’re elbows and no further up than your jaw, pale and white and glowing. 
You recognize the feeling in your chest with a start. 
It’s care. Friendship. You want to help them. You want to fight for them and earn and keep their trust. The flickering embers of love bloom into a fire across your shoulders and flutter with undistinguished feather’s. 
~ ~
A/N So! Phoenix is my favorite power, but everyone else seemed inclined towards the Sun Lance, so I smashed them both together!
If you’re so inclined, let me know what you think :D
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Text
tightrope
summary: “It’s capital, this tightrope that the two of you walk between harsh discipline and sweet indulgence.” 
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
warnings: mentions of violence, red room, implied age gap-ish, it’s a little angsty?  kinda hurt comfort but there’s plot 
a/n: hi again! I really like the concept of this one! I hope you like it too, feedback is definitely welcome 
word count: 2.2k ish 
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When he’d first met you, you were the antithesis to what he’d expected. Prepped with the information that you were a recruit found in one of the last scattered branches of HYDRA’S Red Room and trained to have the strength and endurance of a skilled olympian, when you’d been introduced all wide-eyed and with a bright smile that had a smear of peanut butter at its corner, Bucky was floored. Fresh from Wakanda and losing his best friend, he didn’t think it’d work, the two of you running together. 
And at first he was right, things were rough. Technically, you were and still are his apprentice, obligated to attend general training and conditioning sessions with him as your guide. You’d had an impeccable persistence and the skill set that HYDRA engraved into your physicality was more than enough to get you through, but Bucky had the experience. You were strong and good at taking direction, but HYDRA had trained the instinct and critical thinking out of you, and the process of finding your footing with your newfound freedom was difficult. 
There were arguments over the ungodly hours that he’d chosen scheduled for sparring sessions (“Are you shitting me Barnes? You want me to wake up at five in the morning to get decked in the face?”), about whether or not certain techniques were viable in fighting situations (“Biting into someones arm while they’ve got you in a headlock isn’t reliable option doll, especially if the arm is made out of vibranium”), and when the two of you were extra frustrated, eating habits were also up for debate (“You cannot only eat pop tarts the week before a mission!” “I’ll stop eating pop tarts the day you give Sam a compliment,”).
But eventually, when the two of you’d finally realized that your distaste for each other may have stemmed for a repressed attraction towards one another, you made it work. You Learn to fight without actually aiming to hurt the other person and you manage to communicate with one another with the exclusion of screaming matches and elongated lectures. (You also learn how to sneak into each others rooms without waking up other shield officers on your shared floor in the middle of the night, but that’s something neither of you care to define)
The two of you are sparring together late this afternoon after you’d convinced him of the fact that you’re far better suited to give him your focus after you’d fully awakened and consumed a healthy portion of your daily allotment of junk food.
“I already told you your elbows are too loose, don’t give me that shit again,”
You tighten your stance against the previously acclaimed Winter Soldier, and throw another, albeit cleaner, punch. A grunt of approval from Bucky and your movements continue to present themselves with precise stability.
“Christ, Barnes you’re stricter than my babysitters at camp HYDRA,” He smirks, appreciates the value of making light of a shitty situation, and then retorts, 
“I’m prettier to look at though, huh?”
It’s capital, this tightrope that the two of you walk between harsh discipline and sweet indulgence.
You square your shoulders and dip your head in an attempt to seem more menacing, “Only in the dark, baby. I’m gonna kick your ass,”
Again he responds with a practiced snort, “Good fighters don’t reveal their strategy before they’ve done it, keep that chin up or I’m going to knock it next time you come near me,”
Somehow, amongst all the near misses and successful jabs to the stomach, a small smirk manages its way onto your face. Before you’d started to train with Bucky, fighting was a commitment you had no choice in deciding. You’d go through endless hours of getting beaten down, only to be forced back onto your feet and beaten again; bulldozed into compliance. Training with Bucky is different; dares you to test the boundaries and willingly push yourself to your limit, not because you have to but because you want to.
You solidify your strategy in your head before moving to deliver a swift kick to Bucky’s ankles. He dodges it, as expected, and plants himself on top of you, restraining your legs between his own and digging his enormous forearms into your biceps.
“I already told you, this shit won’t fly on anyone bigger than you, princess, you’re going to have to tap,” and boy, if only you’d had a body camera to record the way that his face slackens when you retaliate with, “C’mon Buck, you’re telling me it doesn’t get you off to be on top of a dame like me?”
It’s a low blow to use your unspecified status outside of the gym to your advantage, but what was it that he’d told you in your first training session? Ah yes, use whatever advantage you have to your benefit.
You were only following directions.
Quickly, you move his practically limp limbs from your body and force yourself onto his front, resting your knees atop his flesh and alloyed forearms (because goodness knows you wouldn’t be able to hold them down with your hands) and the rest of your weight on his torso. And he looks so helplessly confused in this position you can’t help yourself from speaking through a smug smile, “Never took you for a bottom, princess.”
Buckys going to crack your head like a walnut. He jerks upward to catch your head between his fists, but a sudden rush of alarms stops him in his tracks. All of the sudden, the shield compound is doused in red lights and an automated voice is eerily repeating there has been a breach in the compound, agents follow evacuation protocol. However, the warning comes late because only a few seconds after you and Bucky have detangled yourselves from each other, the doors to the training hall are bursting open with what has to be a group of wanna-be HYDRA affiliates demanding information and files about some secret mission that neither of you were a part of.
Regardless, Bucky is on his feet immediately and ushering you to stand behind his immense form, his tone gritting out a stiff, “Y/N. Behind me. Now.”. Though your developing sense of instinct is telling you that this situation is one that Bucky shouldn’t be handling alone, your feet move before your brain can catch up, eager to comply with his demands instead of challenging them.
The infiltrators are small in number but waste no time zeroing in on Bucky as soon as they realize his presence as the Winter Soldier. He pushes you into a locker, spitting out something about staying there until he handles them and direct orders, agent but you can’t help but crack the door open, fearing Bucky’s well being.
Surprising no one, Bucky can mostly handle himself against a group of middle-aged men who are scarcely trained and even more scarcely armed. However, in his struggle with one of the larger men in the group, Bucky fails to notice that one of the other Hydra members has managed to snatch a particularly large knife from his belt loop and is getting ready to dig it into his back in an attempt to save his comrade.
Emerging from the locker, you move to kick the knife out of the enemy’s hand, knocking it somewhere across the gym, and landing yourself in the middle of the brawl. In your haste, the agent swings a punch to your jaw, but you recover quickly. You knock the agent twice and before you can move to disable him further, Bucky finds his way to you and heaves the man a generous amount of yards away. 
Before either of the chance to say anything to each other, the room is rushed by Shield agents searching to apprehend the HYDRA men and to find out any information regarding the infiltration.
-
It’s a couple of hours before you get to see Bucky again.
Between all of the shield officers asking painfully specific questions and their obnoxious insistence that things like this never happen, by the time Barnes finds you sitting in the compound kitchen, legs dangling from the center island and fingers wrapped around a lukewarm cup of tea, you’ve both had enough time to sit with previous events.
You’re ambivalent, a tricky mixture of guilt and pride making a home in the form of a lump in your throat. Part of you knows what you did was the right thing; if you’d have let Bucky get hurt, the other offender would have used the advantage to gang up on him and you’d’ve had to take on the both of them instead of just one. But there’s still a lingering part of you that feels an immense sense of shame for not wholly complying.
Maybe it’s just leftover conditioning from your time with HYDRA, the remaining indents from the ideals they’d ingrained into your mentality, but disobeying direct orders, no matter how irrelevant they may have proven themselves to be, left you with a bitter taste in your mouth and frustrating tears in your eyes. Even after training with Bucky for so long and recognizing the difference between appropriate and inappropriate times to act on your own volition, you still maneuver on a fine line between overwhelming shame and practiced action.
He moves in front of you, between your legs, and when he notices your refusal to look him in the eyes, Buck slips his thumb and forefinger under your chin lifting your misty eyes to his worried gaze. There’s a rush of bile rising in your throat that you know can only be remedied by a salve of words, “Bucky I- I’m so sorry I didn’t l-listen to y-,”
“If you finish that apology, I’m going to give you another shiner, princess,”
He stills you, maneuvering the hand that’s not holding your face to shift the tea out of your hands and then to rest on your bicep. Save for a handful of your sniffles and the soft noises Bucky makes in the back of his throat when his eyes focus on a particularly darkened or swollen segment of skin, the two of you maintain a quietness as he looks you over.
And - no matter how long he’s been fighting with you by his side and no matter how many times he’s scolded himself for feeling self-pity when others, you are in pain - this part never get easier; swallowing his pride and accepting the fact that not everyone can make it out unscathed.
He moves away from you to fish an icepack from the door of the fridge, holding it in his hand for a few seconds before setting it back in its spot and pressing his now cool metal palm to the side of your face. You sigh in relief, starting to come down from your thoughts, leaning into Bucky.
Finally, he speaks, “You didn’t do anything wrong,” you suck in a breath and he knows you’re preparing to refute his claim, so he cuts you off swiftly, “I know you think you fucked it up because that’s what they want you to think, but you acted on your instinct doll, you did good.”
Your breathing slows back down to its normal pace, and his thumb moves to wipe the tears off of your cheeks. It’s almost laughable how easily he gets you calm; how he’s managed to keep you from falling off of the tightrope and now  rests on it with you, an unspoken in equilibrium.  He nudges his nose to yours and smoothes a kiss to your lips, a final attempt at calming whatever stray nerves remain.
When he pulls away, you can’t help but chuckle. “What is it, sweetheart?”
Recovering with a weak smile you respond, “I get knocked twice for your ass and all I get is a little kiss?”
His smirk is cheeky as he presses another to your lips, this time deeper and more intentional, “You’re telling me this isn’t enough to get you off, princess?”
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divinewhimsy · 4 years
Text
Ichor Pt 5 (DabixReader)
One day I’ll be able to get to the point where I’ll be able to write and not have ideas spring in the middle that change the course of what I’ve already written. One day. But that day? It’s not today.
~+~+~
Honestly I’d love to hear what y’all think of this so far, don’t be afraid to tell me! PleaseIcraveinteraction
Lemme know if you wanna be added to the taglist~!
~~~
Part 4: X
Part 6: X
~~
Tag List: @velvet-kissesss​ @marydragneell​
~
TW: Blood, Swearing.
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Dabi is less than pleased to see his two comrades when you return with them in tow. He’s lounging on the couch in the clothes he was wearing when you first found him but the bags you gave him yesterday aren’t anywhere in sight.
Whatever. He doesn’t have to wear them. You’ll just return them when he leaves. 
If he leaves, that is. 
“Dabi! We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Toga exclaims and rushes toward the couch. “Shigaraki is pretty upset you haven’t come back after the last fight.”
“We thought you might have been captured.” Spinner grumbles.
“Or killed.” Toga coos, her lips pulling back slightly to reveal her sharp canines. “But we didn’t know you got a girlfriend~!”
“Absolutely not.” you snorted. 
“Aw, lovers quarrel?” Toga purrs and shifts her golden eyes to you adoringly. 
“No, I just happened to heal his sorry ass.” you sigh and lean against the kitchen counter. Folding your arms across your chest you try to keep some kind of distance between you and the villains. 
And keep close to the door. 
“Awww, that’s so romantic~!” Toga grins. “You found him and just had to nurse him back to health! And you fell in love~”
“I would love it if he got the hell away from me but that’s the only time love and me will be in the same sentence regarding him.” you spit and Spinner shifts his gaze from you to Dabi as Toga frowns. 
“Why haven’t you reached out to us?” he asks quietly. 
“Phone broke.” Dabi yawns and stands from the couch. 
Is he going to tell them why he’s here? 
“I found us a medic.” he jabs a thumb in your direction.
You choke on your spit as his words hit your ears. 
“I think the fuck not!” you hiss. “We had a deal, Dabi.” 
He turns to you with uninterest before it melts away to a knowing, cocky smile. 
“And I changed my mind. What are you gonna do now?” 
“That’s not how that works-“ 
“It is now.” 
Your blood is burning in your body, your veins thrumming with rage as he glares back at you. Who the hell does he think he is?! Changing a deal just because he feels like it?! What an entitled, useless piece of—! 
“Tell them why you’re here, then.” you snarl and push yourself from the counter and toward the couch. “Go on, Dabi. Let your friends know exactly why you haven’t returned.”
His eyes catch your gaze with a warning blazing in his iris’, Toga and Spinner blinking from him to you. Spinner looks uncomfortable and a tad bit anxious, his nerves setting sharp against his scales. Toga looks overly pleased with the turn of events, her honey colored eyes switching between your face and Dabi’s. As if she’s drinking in this tension like a delicious wine, the succulent clashing flavors of anger swirling through the room. 
You can hardly blame her. The exhilarating feeling of releasing your pent up frustrations is momentary euphoria. All you want to do is scream and yell and howl. To cause a fight, to give in to the deep, dark thoughts of your mind that appear when your temper gets the best of you. You’ve had your fill of shit today and this bastard is going to start paying for being a pain in your ass right the fuck now. 
His eyes are almost commanding you to stop talking. They’re not even pleading. They’re trying to overrule your own subconscious from his own body, a tentative strain around his eyelids that pulls your mind into a further frenzy. 
‘Don’t do this.’ his eyes say. 
But you’re not listening. 
“I saved you from the brink of death.” you breathe viciously. “I brought your life back into this world with my own two hands and you have the audacity to stand here and tell me our deal has changed?” 
If his comrades were worried about him having gotten caught or killed, they have a strange way of showing it. But of course they would. Villains aren’t heroes. They hide and sneak and scheme in the shadows of the sun while heroes bask in it. Any villain caught or brought to death had to be easily forgotten. Easily left behind. Pieces to sacrifice. That’s all these underlings were in the end game. 
“How did you find me?” you turn your attention to Spinner- the most held together of the two who had followed you home- and he flinches once your eyes meet his.
“We have our ways.” he spits and tenses as your snarl grows. “I hope you’re not expecting a thank you for saving him.” 
“Did you think we weren’t watching when we attacked that recovery zone?” Toga giggles. “It only took a little bit of asking around to find out what else we needed to know.”
Of course. Of course they had made that distraction on purpose. They had been watching from the start. Did they see how your quirk worked? What else do they already know?
“While this is increasingly entertaining,” Dabi cuts in, “I can’t leave just yet. I have some wounds that still need to heal.”
“You can’t heal back at the…. Hideout?” Spinner eyes you suspiciously. 
“I’ll worry about me and you mind your own damn business.” Dabi sneers. “Leave.”
“I’m sure we’ll be back.” Toga hums and turns toward the door. “I can’t wait to see you again!” 
    Her grin wouldn’t look so malicious if it weren’t for her sharpened canines. You watch as her and Spinner see themselves out. Spinner murmurs something to Dabi but you’re too upset to fully listen in to it. Once the door closes and they’re both gone you turn back toward the source of your fury. 
His eyes never once left you since your outburst. You can see his own fury begin to simmer up to his features, a muscle twitching in his jaw as he glowers at you. You don’t dare back down. Not now, when your senses are reeling in the anger like dry grass in a wildfire. Fueling it, engaging in it. Imbuing it. 
“I don’t know what's crawled up your ass but you need to calm down.” Dabi growls. “What the hell were you thinking? Telling them about what happened? Were you going to mention my quirk being gone?”
“Were you?” you hiss back. “You seemed pretty sure of yourself when you announced I was a medic you found for your league. I figured since we were all sharing important secrets that I’d make you spill one yourself.”
“Of course not.” he growls. “They don’t need to worry themselves with this.”
He motions between the two of you when he says ‘this’. His finger pointing to himself and then extending toward you. You don’t like the implication or the action. It summons a growl from your sternum, your teeth gnashing wildly as he moves even an inch closer to you. 
“It would have been a hell of a sell if they bought that couple crap.” he rolls his eyes. “You don’t want people to know about you, huh? Why not just pretend to be a fling in my string of one night stands and be content with that? They wouldn’t bat an eye. But no, you needed to let your hate for me bleed through that near perfect cover up. I swear it’s like you don’t even think about shit like this. How do you plan to remain hidden if you don’t think about the consequences of your interactions?”
Your fury should freeze over. It should recede back to normal like waves against a beach. It does recede, in a way. But it doesn’t return to normal. It reaches back into the depths of your anger, freezing beyond the point of flame until you’re entirely cold. Your fingers feel numb as they curl into your palms, turning into fists as his irritatingly bright cyan eyes refuse to back down from your gaze. 
“You hate me, I get that.” Dabi hisses and holds up a hand, “But calm your ass down and think about this logically, alright? Before you mess any more of it up with your raging emotions.”
That’s it. The last words you hear before your anger snaps beyond control. Your quirk roars to life in less than three seconds and the thread between the two of you is clearer than ever before. You don’t even think when your hands reach out to it and yank it toward yourself. 
He’s on the floor in seconds, heaving air in and out of his lungs as you grip the thread in your hands, knuckles straining with ache that echoes in the back of your mind. A memory of a lifeless body before you, bloodied and colorless. Flashes of it reel through your mind's eye and you pause just for a moment- your anger frozen in place as you realize just what it is you’re doing.
You’ve done this before. 
As Dabi chokes for air, his blue eyes turn up to you with an unidentifiable emotion. His hand goes to his throat and he stutters out a string of curses before he manages to call out to you.
“[N-Name].”
You’re deaf to his pleas. All you can see is the past clear as day, stitching into your mind as you watch someone you don’t even recognize bleed their life into you. 
No.
You’re taking it from them. Forcing them to bleed every last drop into this bond between the two of you as they shrivel up. You can feel the energy burn within your veins, flickering flames rushing out to cauterize the connection. 
No. No, no no no no no- 
You can’t let this happen. You have to stop it. It can’t end like this, not again.
You don’t hesitate as you throw yourself back into the present and a very near dead Dabi. His hand is outstretched, reaching for you as he gasps. His skin is pale and gray, his hair almost completely snow white as his eyes- his goddamn beautiful blue eyes- flutter. He’s trying to stay alive. Trying to stay awake. He wants to live-
You scramble to stop your quirk from draining him. Stumbling over your own limbs you drop to the ground and try to reverse what you’ve done. It only brings a shade of color back to his body, a strained gasp releasing from his lips as his eyelids stop fluttering. No. No, dammit! It can’t end like this! He’s still breathing-!
You pull him up to your lap, resting his head carefully against your thighs as he grows weaker. His arms drop to his sides and his head lolls slightly but you hold it firm. Pressing your palms to his face you can feel your body quivering with fear, with energy- with the life you’ve stolen from him. 
Gods, no! You didn’t mean to kill him! That’s not what you wanted at all! 
You have to do something- you have to feed him, you have to bleed! You need a blade- a knife- anything! Something sharp!
You free one hand from the side of his face and claw at your wrist with blunt fingernails. Dammit! If you had only had your scalpel with you this would be easier! You could run to the kitchen but there’s no time.
Fear acts for you. Your teeth gnash at your wrist viciously and you tear your skin with a harsh bite. Reopening the wound you had fed him from once before. It hurts like a sonofabitch but you’re bleeding spectacularly from the torn skin that hasn't fully healed. Dark red swells from your wound and you force Dabi’s mouth open. Tilting his head up so it doesn’t drown him, you press your wrist to his lips. 
Tears fall from your face and onto his, the drops sliding down his cheekbones slower than the blood can pour out of you and into him. You can feel your stomach churn as his body lies lifeless in your hands. Bile rises up to your throat and you hiccup it down with every sob that starts to tear through your throat. He can’t be dead. He can’t.
“No, dammit!” you scream and bite harshly down on your lip. It wasn’t intentional but as you taste blood in your mouth you remember you have other options. 
Goddamn this beautiful, idiotic asshole. You hated his fucking guts for making you do this. 
No. You hate your own guts. You did this to him. The fact this is the second time only makes you feel guiltier.
You press your lips to his, holding his jaw with one hand to ensure the liquid keeps spilling into him. You bite again at your lip and let it bleed into him, your own saliva mixing with it as you force an impromptu kiss. 
His skin is still warm to your touch, his body heat holding out as you sob into him. Tears, blood, sweat and spit. Four bodily liquids spilling in and onto Dabi. Imagining the mess and strange scene this must be, you can’t help but feel embarrassment color your cheeks. Can you really afford to care right now? This man is dying in your arms and you’re getting a little embarrassed about how it must look? So many liquids pouring from you into him- as awkward as it may seem to someone else is the norm to you. You’re doing your best, goddammit! Give yourself a break!
The faint stutter of his heartbeat only encourages you as you lift Dabi up slightly. Holding him closer to you, cradling the back of his head with one hand while the other wraps around his shoulders. Pressing his body to yours as if you could pass on the life energy in your own body by mere contact. You’d will it back to him if you could.
The metallic taste of blood is ever present as you bleed more into him, your heart pounding as his body starts to twitch in your arms. 
It’s working! It’s really, really working!
Finally, he takes a breath. Breathing you in, sucking in air as you pull away. Color is returning to him as you watch him swallow the excess blood and spit. His chest heaves for air, puffing against your own as strength finds its way to his limbs. It’s weak but it’s there. He can hold himself up- slightly. He’s still pressing against you before his lips find yours again. A ferocious bite into your mouth reopens the healing puncture wounds you made yourself to feed him. He drinks greedily and his hands pull you to him roughly. His hand at your waist bunches up your shirt and demands your body be flush against his.
Air is secondary as he pulls a breath from your lungs, gulping down blood without thinking twice about it. You can feel his strength grow with each second, his calloused fingers pressing into the back of your neck as his hand snakes up into your hair. He’s pulling and pushing and pressing you against him. To him. As if he’s trying to devour you in slow, hungry bites. 
A groan slips past your lips as he pulls away and your head spins. Dizziness swarms your vision as you blink tears over their threshold. But he’s there. He’s here. Sitting in front of you, alive and breathing. Covered in sweat and blood and looking at you with his burning blue eyes. His body is overflowing with heat as he clings to you, molding your body to fit in his embrace. He takes a deep breath before he runs the tip of his tongue up your cheeks, following the trail of tears that had built itself into your face. 
You shiver at the sensation of it and pull away from him as his grip on you loosens. He shifts to creep closer, capturing your lips before you can protest in another hungry motion. But he doesn’t bite. He doesn’t draw blood. He runs his tongue along your battered lip and breathes into you, with you as his hands relax and flatten against your back. 
You’re the one to pull away for air as you choke back a happy sob. 
“You’re alive!” you breathe, hands caressing his face as if you can’t believe it. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to!” 
You whisper, afraid if you’re any louder than you’ll wake up from this dream and he’ll be drained and dead on the floor of your living room. 
“I didn’t mean to.” you shake your head and mumble helplessly as he watches you unfurl into an even bigger mess. “Dabi, I’m so sorry.” 
He doesn’t say anything. Instead he brings his lips to your forehead and presses a gentle, almost timid kiss before he rests his chin atop your head. 
“I’m not dead.” he whispers back. “I’m not dead.”
A silent sob breaks through any thoughts you have and you cling to him, balling the shoulders of his jacket in your hands as you softly cry out the cresting wave of relief flooding through you. He lets you, rubbing unsure and hesitant circles in your back as you do. You can feel his heart against your body as you tremble in his arms.
Why is he being so soft now? After yelling and threatening you- and not even wearing those damn clothes you bought him!
“Why aren’t you wearing the clothes?” you whimper quietly and his movements pause as he slowly pulls away from you.
“What?” he furrows his brows, eyes searching your own as you wipe away at the last stray tears. 
“The clothes!” you whine. “Why aren’t you wearing them? I got them just for you so you wouldn’t have to just wear this.” you tug at his jacket again and his eyes shift down before his lips start to twitch. 
“Because they’re in the wash.” he huffs out a quiet laugh. “I went through them yesterday and threw them in to clean em’.” he murmurs. 
“Oh.” you swallow the lump in your throat. 
“Did you really think I wouldn’t wear them?” he asks with a grin. 
“Y-Yeah.” you frown and look away from him. 
God, what are you even doing? Cuddling up to the man you almost just murdered on accident? What kind of psychopath are you? 
Why is he even holding you to him? Why even bother kissing you to begin with if it was for something other than to gain the boost from your quirk? Or was he just using it for the boost? Your mind is muddled with so many confusing thoughts and emotions, your energy drained thoroughly as you shudder and breathe.
“It’d be a waste of good clothes.” he shrugs. “Of course I’ll wear em’.”
You don't know why but hearing him say that blooms a feeling of happiness in your nerves. It settles through you like a gentle spring breeze, spreading from your toes to your fingertips and eventually your head as you take deep, deep breaths. 
“I lost control.” you whisper. “I almost killed you.”
“There’s no almost, doll.” he chuckles darkly. 
“Wha- but you’re alive!” you pull away from him, splaying your palm against his chest. Sure enough, his heart is beating deep inside, the echo of it seeping into his flesh.
“Yeah but I’ve been on the brink before.” he sighs, “This time I went over.”
You had killed him. You killed Dabi.
“But..” you can feel every calm nerve deflate as you stare helplessly. 
“You brought me back.” he rubs the back of his neck and unwinds his arms from around you. 
Guilt owns your soul. As you watch the man stretch and stand, you wilt underneath his gaze as he glances down at you. Dabi was dead because of you. Even if you brought him back, he was still dead because you lost control of your emotions. 
“I... “ you fumble for words like an infant, stumbling with every thought that tries to swim through your mind. It feels like molasses as every movement is stunted, dizziness reclaiming your senses as your eyes flutter shut. You just need to stop the room for a second. Stop the spinning. 
Murky sounds drain until you can hear nothing as your body hits the floor.
++ 
“You’re on borrowed time.” a voice calls out and you turn from dark nothingness to immediate light. 
Bright, brilliant. Prismatic infinity extending every which way as you turn to find the owner of the voice. Their voice echoes beyond your ears. You can feel them speak from your lips, feel the sounds in your bones as you try to cover your ears. They’re using your body to conduct their noise, their voice ripping from your skin in seconds as you drop to the ground. 
You scream absolute silence. Mouth hanging open as pain ripples in every inch of your body. Shattered bones, broken sobs and high pitched cries ringing out. White nothingness turns into a massacre of red as blood spills from walls you hadn’t known were around you. Leaking and seeping into your skin. Soaking in the ichor until you’re full of it. Overflowing form turning formless as you are the blood.
Everything shiftless. Formless until given the cipher of a body, spilling into the universe. Turning the milky way into a river of red, saturating the cosmos in red, red, red.
You can never forget the images filing through each second like the pages of a book fluttering by. Skimming, skimming, skimming. Broken skin, shattered muscles and torn bones. Rotting corpses revitalizing and rising up. Blunt limbs sharpening into your own appendages until it’s a sea of nothing but yourself. Grinning and bleeding- an army of ichor. 
Your scream breaks through their mouths and amplifies. They’re echoing your cries, your disastrous pleading to wake up. 
It’s the hand that clamps around your mouth that stirs you from your nightmare. 
Scarred and smooth skin stitched together with staples presses your screams to muffled cries. Your eyes are wild with adrenaline as you tremble beneath the strong, calloused fingers. There’s an air of calm they give off as you breathe through your nose. It’s only when you can blink yourself to recognize your bedroom that you stop struggling against the warm palm pressing into your jaw. 
Dabi moves his hand slowly away as you take a deep breath and turn your gaze to him. He’s sitting in the chair next to your bed, straddling it as his arms cross over the back. His chin is resting against the top of it, his eyes blinking lazily down at you. 
He’s wearing a plain shirt and the sweats you bought him. His hair is limp with water, the damp strands sticking to various parts of his skull as he runs a hand through them. Wiping the wet hand on his pant leg, he tears his gaze from you. 
“You were screaming.” he says plainly.
“So you shove your hand over my mouth?” you cough out, your throat dry. 
That nightmare… It feels familiar in the way an old fear from your childhood does when you face it as an adult. But you’re still afraid as you remember the blood pouring all around you, drowning you until you’re just a droplet among the others. Screaming.
Dabi just scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Next time I’ll just let the neighbors barge in because they think you’re being murdered.”
“Bold of you to assume they’d care.” you snark and sit up. 
You’re still in the same clothes as before when you had that fight with Dabi.
The fight. You whip your head toward him, scanning him from head to toe. He quirks a lazy brow at the sudden movement. Reaching out and poking his cheek  only results in a briefly annoyed look and him swatting your hand away. 
“You’re not dead. You’re real.” you breathe. “I..”
“Remembering, eh?” he shrugs and rolls his neck, cracking his spine as it pops back into place. “You’ve been out for a couple of hours.”
The clock tells you it’s three forty five in the morning. What time was it when you passed out? It had been after you got home from work. Toga and Spinner had followed you home- although you’re certain they already knew where you lived without having to follow you. It was a threat and a reminder that your life is only seconds from being in their hands. 
Your head throbs and you wince. Scanning over your body for any other injuries you find your wrist is puffier and redder than before. The wound is angry and fresh, scabbing over with a burning sensation. Other than that, nothing. You purse your lips to feel the beginnings of scabbing from being bitten harshly. You hope it’s not too obvious. 
Ah, your lips. Your body is burning all over as you remember you kissed Dabi. It was a moment of desperation to bring him back- but when he regained consciousness.. He had kissed you back. His hands pulling you closer to him, his arms wrapping around you as you sobbed into him. You were so, so relieved and afraid. 
You’d killed him and brought him back to life. It wasn’t your intention to kill him but your rage got the better of your. Before you could even think properly you had yanked the thread between you two and taken everything from him. 
Just like before. You’ve been in that situation only once before. The memories are foggy and terrifying but you still feel them like the press of clammy lips against your brain. A sickening shiver runs through you and you fight the rising bile that it brings with it. Dabi watches in silence as you struggle with how to even speak. He must have remembered the kiss- but anything before that? Anything after?
Trembling hands quiver as you try to raise them to your face. Fingerprints pressing into the skin below your eyes as if you could press the memories out of your head. Squeeze them out of your pores and leak them into the world until they’re dried out and nothing. Gone. Gone, gone, gone. 
You remember her- the girl you’d called your best friend. She was drained of every inch of her life energy. As if a vampire had come through and taken every last drop of blood. Sucked dry. Nothing but a brittle, broken body left in the space she used to occupy. Her lips were a rosy red before you took her soul from her body. The awful blue shade they bloomed into will forever be your least favorite color. 
Aysu. You don’t want to remember her name but you can’t help but hear it bubble up from your blood with the image of her face flashing behind your eyes. Aysu. She was only twelve when you drained her. Her body, lifeless and limp on the warm grass stained with blood. The way her brown eyes looked into yours as you couldn’t control your quirk. As it took over your body and soul. Your mind forced to watch in horror as you consumed her. 
You swallow the lump in your throat once. Twice. It won’t go away. It sits in your esophagus like a stone, weighing down your chest until you feel the tell tale sting of tears start in your eyes. God, can you go one minute without sobbing in front of this man?! He must think you’re an absolute lunatic at this point! You killed him, brought him back and sobbed until you passed out. And what do you do as soon as you wake up? Start sobbing again.
Dabi doesn’t leave. He doesn’t even bat an eye as you struggle to keep your sanity intact. His crystalline blue eyes watching intently as you reel your wild emotions back in. Keeping your face from leaking out the tears you know won’t ever stop. 
You need to eat. Energy is an empty concept as you realize your quirk running rampant had used up anything you’d stored the last time. Weakness washes from every limb into your torso, a sickening light feeling making your bones feel brittle as hollow, burned wood. You shakily move to stand from your bed, using the chair Dabi’s in to steady yourself.
“Where are you going?” he asks as you stumble around him. 
“To eat.” you murmur. “I need food before I pass out again.”
“It’s on the table.” he drawls and follows after you slowly.
Sure enough, sitting with some steam rolling off the plates is reheated fried rice. Dabi must have warmed up the leftovers for you. It’s a touching gesture you never considered he would go through for anyone else. 
“You did this.. For me?” you breathe, brows furrowing. 
“Sure.” Dabi shrugs and you watch as he rubs the back of his neck. “Totally wasn’t thinking about eating it before you started screaming.”
Ah. He didn’t do it for you then. 
“You can have it though.” he offers. “I didn’t even touch it.”
Sitting is easier than walking. As you sit in the chair the plate is set before you give a quiet thank you to Dabi and start to scarf down the meal. It’d only been a few hours since you last ate but the drainage your quirk does when it takes over is monumental. It’s as if you haven’t eaten in weeks. Months, even. 
“We need to talk.” you murmur after you feel like you’re not going to puke up your empty stomach. You meet Dabi’s eyes with as much strength as you can muster. 
Dabi offers a small, lopsided smirk and takes the seat closest to you. 
“Look at that,” he muses, “we agree on something.”
104 notes · View notes
Text
Edie & Liam
aleeunayzhun: anyone else think the ‘monster’ addition was totally unnecessary and has taken away from what was a mildly intriguing ARG concept beforehand?
aleeunayzhun: 🙄 back on the trail for a new rabbithole to fall down
level26: Yeah, axed it for me
aleeunayzhun: the paranormal route can be alright if it’s done right but usually it ain’t and then it’s a cop-out, PM definitely didn’t think where they were going with this
aleeunayzhun: the ones that rely on the real world but twist it are always scarier to me, no one ever has the balls to stick with it, to not throw in some bullshit ghost jumpscares to get the idiots with
level26: creepypasta is where it ends up with barely no exceptions
aleeunayzhun: mhmm
aleeunayzhun: and no one has shanked their mate over anything on there in time
level26: got a few I’ll volunteer if the next 🐇 is more of this or promo again
aleeunayzhun: If one more shitty band thinks throwing out some binary or morse code makes them any less shit, I’ll join you
level26: dednah tfel neve t'nia ylbaborp yeht
aleeunayzhun: imij erew yeht hsiw yeht
level26: 👅💔🍆💔🎸💔
aleeunayzhun: 💔 they reckon hot groupies hang about on reddit
level26: trolls are their groupies, they can only be fuelled by edgy r/hate 🤘
aleeunayzhun: awh, r/hate is only a degree away from r/love after-all
level26: just like that, a plotline that’d be less crap than [whatever this ARG we’re slagging off is called]
aleeunayzhun: not gonna start my annoying beg promo in here quite yet but how hard was that, really
level26: us both being spam bots is still a better twist than the monster did it
aleeunayzhun: Привет, дорогая, хочешь увидеть мои сексуальные фотки? Hажмите ссылку СЕЙЧАС! [‘Hello dear, do you want to see my sexy pictures? Click the link NOW!’ And a link to god knows what lmao]
level26: NO soundcloud rapper link?! 💀 what an r/cockblock
aleeunayzhun: how’d you guess 😏
level26: my paranormal powers kicked in, clicking that link must’ve leveled me up
aleeunayzhun: advert for communism? 🤔🤫
level26: find me and my sick beats on r/motherrussia
aleeunayzhun: MK Ultra is definitely taken by about 1000 other shit DJs
aleeunayzhun: and is the poorly executed plot of several other ARGs I’ve also given up on
level26: KM Extra is my personal fave shit DJ, really doing something
aleeunayzhun: the fact I genuinely know who that is 😷😷
level26: I noclipped into his set at [somewhere she would have heard of even if she’s not been] talk about an eldritch location
aleeunayzhun: you must’ve felt like the only player in a crowd of NPCs 🧟‍♀️🧠💀🧟‍♂
level26: close enough to the review I would’ve left
aleeunayzhun: I’ll leave it
aleeunayzhun: I know the coordinates
level26: I’ll 👀 out for it
level26: you on moscow standard time or one of the other 10?
aleeunayzhun: I’m the Russian spy, I hack you, comrade
level26: ❤️ tôi cũng cam kết với chính nghĩa cộng sản ❤️ [with some link to the Communist Party of Vietnam because we’re saying we’re as committed to communism]
aleeunayzhun: [links to the Communist Party of Ireland to be like obvs we have both worked out we’re actually from here
level26: cracked the code, like, full props to KM Extra
aleeunayzhun: Only in Dubo would that shit fly
level26: they’d eat his head off outside the pale, yeah, galway’d be having none of it
aleeunayzhun: what they got but a bunch of rocks though
level26: easy pick for the murder weapon
aleeunayzhun: you’d never get far enough in the guinness factory to drown someone in a vat 💔
level26: could do if you got a job as manager and closed for essential maintenance
aleeunayzhun: 💡
aleeunayzhun: won’t do no harm to the taste
level26: iron boost if he’s bleeding heavily when he goes in
aleeunayzhun: delicious and nutritious
level26: ARG coming soon from guinness
aleeunayzhun: bastards better give credit
level26: they can have it, we’re not short of ideas
aleeunayzhun: and you ain’t heard nothing yet
aleeunayzhun: not making it that easy for the wannabe PMs with none of their own
aleeunayzhun: 🔐the real ones
level26: fair play, given enough freebies out in this thread
aleeunayzhun: 🤐
aleeunayzhun: [later on though definitely some way to contact her privately but in a way that you’ve got to work it out of course]
level26: [at least then we can switch to y’all’s names ‘cause I can’t think of a username for the life of me lol]
Edie: [You can add it later and change it, it’s fine lol]
Liam: 🔓
Edie: 1 🔑 for 1 💎
Edie: Suitably impressed
Liam: if I knew anywhere that loaded a 💎 into the gun I’d be off but what’s impressive about a swollen and green ear
Edie: Impressive, no; but good footage for the game? Absolutely
Liam: I’d do it here to have time to mess about with all the lighting and angles
Edie: you’re 🎥
Edie: not enough have actual artistic merit so fair play
Liam: but thinking about it, recording the conveyor belt of a trainee stabbing holes in screaming babies ears all day could have some merit to it, maybe I should get myself up
Edie: you can buy anything and everything from bezos
Edie: live your dreams
Liam: putting my dreams on tape would be worse than the monster reveal
Liam: cheapest jumpscares and effects
Edie: not to mention outing yourself to the whole thread, not just me
Liam: how many teachers would crawl out the woodwork if there was a mass reveal
Edie: to offer you the school’s stellar mental health services
Edie: the one nurse phoning it in
Liam: find my dad lurking on the thread too, that’d be a trip
Edie: unexpectedly wholesome
Edie: I’ll start hiding caches where my dad hides his stashes
Edie: unintentional rhyme
Liam: bars 🎼
Edie: @ KM Extra
Liam: Fachtna to his ma who thinks he’s a saint
Edie: Oof
Edie: ARG concept no. ? the horror of the Irish language
Liam: my ma would be 😱 if I went and hugged her for not doing me that wrong
Edie: not the audience we aim to 😱 really
Liam: too easy
Edie: almost as easy as your name to spell and say
Edie: you even from here 👽
Liam: wouldn’t take enough working out to set you as a test, records are basically lying about
Edie: nothing relating to school is a challenge
Liam: just getting that nurse to give a shit
Edie: if she reckons she’s 👀 it all…
Liam: front row of our intended audience
Edie: splash zone
Liam: she’s never off her phone, spy like you won’t have no problem hacking it
Edie: her nudes = actual monstrosity
Liam: dunno what Mr Doyle sees in her
Edie: yeah, he’s such a looker himself, like
Liam: his wife used to be pretty fit
Edie: don’t matter when she explains how and why people cheat
Edie: psychobabble gets ‘em off every time
Liam: if they taught psychology nobody’d be off each other or learning anything then
Edie: sounds like any other standard schoolday
Liam: that's what they’re getting up to in your class, is it
Edie: as cliche as the monster, yeah
Liam: 🔥🏫
Edie: hear hear
Edie: got to make the endless fire drills worth it one day
Liam: can’t miss me standing in line or not
Edie: then I won’t
Liam: next false alarm I pull
Edie: + 💎
Liam: + 👀
Liam: dont have to hate every cliche
Edie: not the good ones
Edie: all about how you use or misuse them
Liam: can you overuse eye contact
Edie: I can
Liam: I can make a kubrick stare work however many takes you wanna do
Edie: you don’t think I’m a one-take 🌟
Liam: I’ve not shot you
Edie: 🤯🔫
Liam: I’m not a one-take 📷📹
Edie: is that a brag for not suffering from premature ejaculation?
Liam: do you need that reassurance
Edie: I don’t know
Liam: I’ll think about other unsexy shit if your eyes start getting to me too much
Edie: Ha, yeah right
Edie: just don’t think about the 🔥
Liam: 🚒 buzzkill
Edie: 🚓 cockblock
Liam: 🚑 scene stealers
Edie: 🛸 out of here
Liam: before you can get stuck there as a 👻
Edie: Purgatory is preferable to that place forever
Liam: stay alive and it’s simple to get out of 🏫
Edie: I’ll leave my bag behind
Edie: 1st rule and only, really
Liam: don’t really need a pile of textbooks
Edie: I doubt that’s what you carry
Edie: I know I don’t
Liam: I can get more of what I do and I bet you could too
Edie: Bars
Liam: 😏
Edie: You’ve promo’d him a lot if you ain’t him
Edie: KM, like
Edie: bit sus
Liam: you said you know who he is, you know I ain’t
Liam: maybe I love him or some gay shit
Edie: none of his tracks sound like love songs
Liam: guess he don’t love me back
Edie: Oh honey
Edie: lock him in when you set the fire
Liam: he can keep spitting out those fuck yous til the end
Edie: dedication ✊
Liam: and +++ for morale
Edie: what a lad
Liam: love triangle is a cliche too far, take a deep breath or something
Edie: bit possessive
Liam: directors are dicks
Edie: and the heartbroken
Liam: yeah, couldn’t be kind to you if I wanted
Edie: I’ll survive
Edie: you’ve given me the heads up, I’ll give you the 👀
Liam: respect killing me with your 👀 and taking him for yourself
Edie: who could blame me
Liam: my ma as I’m dead, like
Edie: true
Edie: i’ll avoid her at the tescos
Liam: 🛒 dash
Edie: got a selection of my own
Edie: [picture because the random crap you would have in the barns lmao]
Liam: [a picture of one he stole at some point that’s on fire or been blown up or whatever]
Edie: 👏
Edie: what else can we 💥
Liam: got any barns you don’t use
Liam: or 🚜 stuff
Edie: loads
Edie: if you’re lucky, I’ll leave another 🔑
Liam: got another ear to put a 💎 in, luck’s gonna run out beyond it
Edie: sounds like some gay shit, you should
Liam: 👌
Liam: [pics when we’ve done this because of course we have, casually raiding either your mother or sister’s jewellery stashes here like]
Edie: Oh
Edie: actually looks kinda sick
Edie: you’re welcome then
Liam: I’ll send the footage when I’ve edited it
Edie: I look forward to it
Edie: I can’t give you any clues
Liam: what makes you think I need em
Edie: [idk how to differentiate but clearly the clue to where you live needs to be much harder to find and then decode lmao]
Liam: [awkward when he blatantly already knows where you live]
Edie: [do not even need to do the work, whoops]
Liam: [convincingly pretend you are though please]
Edie: [thank god he’s not a murderer even if he is a stalker, just giving out this info willynilly]
Liam: [not your stalker, it’s FINE]
Edie: [oh dear oh dear]
Edie: I’ll know when you work it out
Liam: yeah, I’ll show up 📷📹🌾
Liam: or send a 📦💣 if you wanna take things slow
Edie: you decide
Edie: I’ll shake all the packages extra hard
Liam: cancel the real 🐇 I thought about
Edie: animal cruelty is lamer than bed wetting
Liam: never even tipped a 🐄
Edie: they’ll appreciate it
Edie: anyway, if you did, punishment is letting them kick you in the face so you lose in the end
Liam: head injury’s a win if I get caught for the 🔥🏫 or being seen staring in your window
Edie: 😍🤤 just serial killer things
Liam: pretend I didn’t say KM’s gonna be my 1st victim
Edie: I’ll never feel special otherwise
Liam: you don’t feel special knowing I cracked your code
Edie: if anything, it makes you look smart and me not smart enough
Liam: you’re smart enough that I wanted to
Edie: I’m not going to ruin it with a cliche jumpscare now
Liam: me either, you’re smart enough too to see me coming
Edie: and you’re tall, so I hear
Liam: dunno where from, my dad’s not
Edie: he’s definitely your dad?
Edie: I may as well accuse your ma because I’m already avoiding her for the whole killing you thing
Liam: don't act like it which probably means he is
Edie: ha, real talk
Edie: I think you might be taller than mine
Edie: he’s 6’2
Liam: ha, I am
Edie: you’re the tallest person in school, possibly town
Edie: definite 👽
Liam: taking their time parking the ufo and picking me up, typical dad
Edie: did they forget ET or leave him here on purpose
Edie: he was fucking annoying
Liam: if I looked that much like a ballsack I’d understand
Edie: 😂
Edie: least you’d get to get fucked up with baby Drew Barrymore
Liam: baileys on cereal does taste sick, always down for that
Edie: yum
Edie: what do your fingers look like
Liam: [a video of his hands from lots of angles like hello]
Edie: hot
Edie: you can call me Elliot
Liam: or just call you instead of home
Edie: 😎 so smooth
Liam: what’s my ma gonna say, get back, talking to you is smarter
Edie: I’ve got time to set up the voice distorter so you’re not disappointed by the lack of crEEEEeeeEPpPPpyyyyYy vibes
Liam: and I’ll have loads of time to hear how you sound without it when I stake your house out
Edie: I’ll be sure to be loud
Edie: and not chat total inane shit with my family
Liam: you got your own room
Edie: technically not
Edie: but there are other rooms and places to crash in, when I wanna be alone
Liam: there’s my excuse to zoom in creeEEPpILY close 👀 when you’re not
Edie: very awkward and even ruder if you confused me for my sister
Edie: no one’s done that for ages
Liam: how were they ever doing it
Edie: we’re both the white ones, they just didn’t know which was which
Liam: can’t be a hard code to crack, not gonna be confusing you for anyone
Edie: good
Edie: it was pretty annoying
Edie: and I’m already your second victim as it is
Liam: partner in crime, or groupie to mine if you’re not getting actively involved, but still standing at the end
Edie: hope you’re writing some of these down
Edie: ‘cos I’m not gonna be your groupie
Edie: got my own scores to settle, own havoc to wreak
Liam: don’t need to write down I don’t want you to die, I’ll remember
Edie: it rhymed though
Edie: I’ll steal your lines then
Liam: write as many songs about me as you want, be your groupie til I get 🛸✌️
Edie: [send your music links because you ain’t]
Edie: give me a sec to do yours but pretend any of these are about you
Liam: this is you
Liam: serious
Edie: yeah
Edie: if I was gonna lie I’d have done that a few steps ago
Liam: I’m gonna lie they’re all about me
Edie: that’s what serious meant
Liam: it meant I’m impressed and you’re downplaying how smart you are
Edie: you can be my hypeman and overplay it
Liam: [does by uploading this edited ear piercing escapade with whatever song of hers we like and fits the vibe playing in it, giving her credit because we’re not a heathen and also putting on his stories that he’s listening to these tracks and hyping them how you can]
Edie: [so 😍 over this but trying to be chill somehow and somewhat even though we’re extra af anyway]
Edie: maybe I do wanna be your groupie
Edie: what do you want from me
Edie: like, I owe you and I want to give you something too, ‘cos
Edie: talking to you IS interesting
Edie: and not just because I could be talking to my ma or someone else really boring instead just ‘cos you are
Liam: [for real though her views would definitely go up cos the vibe is he knows loads of people through his sister but also through his weird vids and the raves and stuff he goes to now too so]
Liam: all I want’s to keep talking to you, for as long as you’re into it
Liam: people don’t unless we’re off our faces, like
Edie: my notifications are popping off rn
Edie: I know what you mean though, everyone’s too scared to say or do anything when they don’t have something to blame it on, like being stupid or weird or whatever the fuck actually matters
Edie: more than being bored and alone
Liam: dunno what they’re more scared of, what they wanna ask or how I’m gonna answer, least I know what the topic’ll be
Liam: every convo I have is a loop
Edie: all anyone ever cares about and knows is the headlines
Edie: as if there aren’t countless hours minutes seconds before and after the big events they all 👀 and 👂
Liam: work out sweet for you as a headliner
Edie: Getting them to talk about what I’m doing instead of whatever my parents and the rest of the fucking fam did or do is the goal
Liam: with me hyping you up, no bother, keep knocking out hits and I’ll promo em with no trace of binary or morse code
Edie: and you make films
Edie: I wasn’t sure if you were pissing about at first
Edie: every other person in that thread is an aspiring filmmaker so
Liam: did put me off for a while
Edie: Yours aren’t going to be bad Blair Witch ripoffs though
Edie: I can say that much without seeing
Edie: even the stuff you’ve sent today is dope
Liam: do you wanna see
Edie: yes
Liam: [link her cos I doubt all the weird shit is just there chilling on your insta or whatever]
Edie: [just casually watching all of this nbd]
Liam: siht ekil kool annog weiver ruoy
Liam: или, может быть, это
Edie: hoặc tôi có thể làm như thế này [‘or I could do it like this’]
Edie: si ffuts ruoy kniht i looc woh edih annaw tnod i tub
Liam: ba mhó an spraoi é a cheilt agus a lorg go pearsanta [hide and seek would be more fun in person]
Edie: If you’ve worked out where I live like you say
Edie: be fair and count to 100
Liam: you reckon you made it that easy do you
Liam: be cool if you added some 00s to that and gave me a fair chance
Edie: no, you could still be anyone
Liam: someone to be scared of, yeah I probably am
Edie: Do you want me to be scared of you
Liam: nah
Edie: Good because I’m not and I never promised I was a 🌟 so
Liam: 🤩 with or without promises
Edie: How have I never spoke to you before
Edie: so weird
Liam: I wouldn’t have known what to say to a girl like you
Edie: You seem like you’re coping fine to me
Liam: from behind a keyboard I can cope with anything
Edie: You’re not afraid of me either
Liam: not yet
Edie: What do you think I’m like?
Liam: smart, creative, nice to talk to and look at
Edie: then you’ve got nothing to be afraid of
Liam: I’ve got nothing, that’s bang on
Edie: I’m not trying to take anything from you
Edie: but I could throw those compliments back to you x 10000
Liam: you don’t like possessive, I ain’t gonna tell you what to do
Edie: I didn’t say that
Edie: you could claim better than a soundcloud DJ though
Liam: been waiting to hear that compliment specifically
Edie: 😏
Edie: You look like you’d be a fuckboy
Edie: that’s what I thought
Edie: you’re that good-looking
Liam: if I was the game’d be making you think I wasn’t, which is kinda where we are
Edie: True
Edie: so I’m that dumb or you’re that good, what are we going for?
Liam: you’re smart enough to play dumb, I don’t think I can aim for god tier puppet mastery of anyone’s emotions
Edie: I can see the appeal of that
Edie: closing you eyes to thing you don’t wanna see, to see the things you do
Edie: but mine are wide open
Liam: I ain’t mad, there’d be no appeal to yours being closed, unless you drop bars in your sleep too
Edie: you’re gonna find which window is mine and find out, yeah
Liam: wake you up before you name drop KM as it’s MY thing
Edie: that’s your man, I can respect it
Liam: exclusivity is a + for you then, I’m taking notes
Edie: I don’t really know
Edie: everyone’s lame
Liam: I’ve been there, yeah
Edie: I can’t fake enthusiasm for the sake of it
Liam: it’s a shite idea, doable or not
Edie: I don’t intend to
Edie: 🤞
Liam: can’t think why you’d have to
Edie: I won’t make you promise
Liam: what’ll you make me do
Edie: I want you to show
Edie: and be real and not just go ghost after this
Edie: but I don’t know if you will and I know you might
Liam: be a short afterlife, we don’t get american summers
Edie: we both got the capabilities, but I can promise not to stalk you if you like
Edie: if you want to stick to usernames and anonymity
Liam: not working out where you are to prove I can and a face in the window haunting wouldn’t even impress any dads lurking on the thread
Edie: Alright but I’d be more inclined to keep a secret if you asked opposed to all the dads
Liam: I wouldn’t wanna keep anything we do secret
Edie: Yeah?
Liam: if this is a scam I’m falling for everyone’ll see why and if it’s not I’m gonna document everything
Edie: I won’t ask for your credit card details even once
Edie: This is… different
Edie: isn’t it
Liam: you can have my ma’s, you’re avoiding her and the big tescos
Liam: I don’t know what this is, I wasn’t expecting you at the end of any of those links
Edie: It IS the least she could do
Edie: If I had a guess, you weren’t it
Edie: Even though you mentioned Dubo, it isn’t that small of a town
Liam: ha, how livid you’d be if I was another american coming here for the culture
Edie: not close enough to st patrick’s that I was worried
Liam: how did you feel
Edie: I thought no way it was you at first
Edie: and then I couldn’t believe it was you
Edie: and then that I should’ve known you sooner
Edie: what about you?
Liam: I still can’t believe it’s you, I would’ve tried to chat to you sooner if I knew this is how it’d go
Edie: I’m glad we are now
Edie: and I’ve not fucked it up
Liam: if the small world’s not fucked it up, you won’t
Edie: like you said, be shit if you were in America
Liam: be crap if you were anyone else from school, like you said
Edie: If it was anyone else from school
Edie: this convo would be well over by now
Liam: it’s the longest I’ve had for years
Edie: It’s all so surface level, right
Edie: fuck that
Edie: I wanna know more about you, I don’t care if I shouldn’t just say that
Liam: what do you wanna know
Edie: Hmm
Edie: Do I only get the one question?
Edie: Because I’ll think more carefully if so
Liam: nah, there’s no limit on it
Edie: Cool
Edie: so how was your day, and what were you doing just before you went on the forum?
Liam: [send her a video of some rave or whatever you were at because it’s summer bitches]
Liam: + 3-4 hours sleeping
Edie: Lucky
Edie: where’d you sleep and where’s the weirdest place you’ve got + 3-4 hours sleep before?
Liam: [send her some of the blooper-esque stuff you cut out to make it look more fun than it is, cos we know you’re usually bored]
Liam: home, I can’t 💤 in random xD places but I could call your dad short and maybe have him in a fight
Edie: that’s hot
Edie: he could’ve been there and you coulda tested that theory
Edie: but I wanna be there when you do
Liam: you’d have a shite view from the stage with lights blinding you, can’t let on how talented you are while we’re there
Edie: 😶
Edie: he’s not old so it’s not on a par with animal abuse lameness
Liam: and if I get carried away you can stop me
Edie: can I
Edie: + skill points
Liam: 🎶 works on monsters
Edie: have to find a way to get you home before the 💤 hits
Edie: so cute 🥺
Liam: mine or yours
Edie: 😳
Edie: I’ll protect you while you sleep, see if you can at mine
Liam: I can’t if you’re 👀
Edie: that might be a problem
Liam: how long can you not blink for
Edie: [send a vid of an attempt]
Liam: can I keep this
Edie: ‘course
Edie: use it if you can
Liam: when you write a song about me it’ll need a vid
Edie: I’ve started
Edie: I think by the time you find me, it’ll be done
Liam: people who don’t know you are gonna think I edited your eyes that colour
Edie: hashtag they’re real 😏
Liam: the girl who said she had an operation as a kid’s the real you
Edie: 😂
Edie: they were going rouge and I’ve repressed those memories
Liam: what were you doing before you logged on
Edie: not at a rave, sadly
Edie: I was masterminding a sabotage though, trying to anyway
Liam: don’t leave it there giving me no details
Edie: it isn’t even bad ARG plot worthy
Edie: but my sister has her gross boyfriend over and I need to ruin their fun, obviously, because they are unbearable
Edie: easiest way to do that is make them babysit the twins because there’s nothing fun about 9 year olds
Edie: so I convinced ma to go out on a date, but I still need to get my brother out the way and he’s a massive nerd who never goes anywhere so I’m stumped
Liam: we could have fun with it, gotta be a route to go down that’s not just ripping off the shining again
Liam: a nerd how, he’s on mastermind and his subject is _
Edie: 🪓 is just a prop, honest
Edie: bones, not in a cool way
Edie: History, all that old shit
Liam: [obviously find some kind of obscure af exhibit or book signing or something that he’d potentially be interested in and send her the deets because sleuthing is what you do boy]
Edie: OMG but genuinely
Edie: you are too good at this, I’ll have to keep you around
Liam: stashed with the 🪓
Edie: if you fit
Edie: He’ll actually go to this, for sure
Edie: 🐓🚫
Liam: keep what you figure’s useful and chop off the rest 🧩🧟
Edie: 😋
Edie: what an offer
Edie: and I do need to keep busy so I can’t be asked to step in
Edie: not that I’d say yes
Liam: busy like with a 🧭
Edie: go on
Liam: [god knows what scavenger hunt he’s sending you on gal that he apparently just has ready at the drop of a hat but here we are]
Edie: [live your best nerd lives]
Liam: [really hope these clues aren’t something he was gonna torment your sister with, because no thank you]
Edie: [lmao i hope it wouldn’t translate so easy ‘cos imagine]
Liam: [it definitely wouldn’t but a hardcore blag happening here regardless, I like to think you were actually coming up with this for her while you were pretending to work out her address that you already know]
Edie: [that’s a solid shout ‘cos yeah that is a thing lol]
Edie: [definitely sending you the demo of this song at the end as a prize because we’re beyond 😍 now]
Liam: [likewise even though he’s trying to downplay how 😍 he is to himself rn because it’s so weird that she’s Rio’s sister and that he actually also likes her in her own right so we’re fully !?]
Liam: [nevertheless trying to think of something creepy but cool he could send to her house so she knows he knows where it is and that we think this demo is amazing obviously, maybe it’s lots of other people’s shit musical endeavours like KM that we’ve set on fire and otherwise destroyed in creative ways like you’ve slayed the competition gal since cds and tapes are back baby idk]
Edie: [I wonder if I can find something like that to post hmm to pinterest I go]
Liam: [love the visual of you just sneakily dropping off a massive box of melted plastic without anyone seeing you]
Edie: [you’re clearly good lmao, I was thinking we could do a convo with Billie between this and the next one though]
Liam: [good idea boo, I’m up for that]
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