#you shouldn't feel like you have to meet a weekly word count. it's not a job. you're not going to get fired

[rottiens]

when a hobby starts to feel like work, and not something you enjoy doing, remember to take a step back

[eddiesguitarskills]

It can’t all be bullshit Part 2

Read part 1 here

Eddie Munson x fem Reader x Steve Harrington (unfortunately no Steddie in this)

Summary: pinning after your best friend can be hard, especially when he doesn’t like you back. You were trying to get over a crush the last thing you needed was another.

AN: this is all I've written for the story, so I won't be as fast updating. Also, I'm sorry I write a lot for female-presenting readers it's just I find it easier to write it like that, especially with my dyslexia. However, if you guys want I can start reuploading the story with non-gender descriptions just might take it longer to edit it.

Warnings: Angst, use of Y/n, mention of break ups, miscommunication, sexual themes but no smut readers discretion is advised. Drug and alcohol use, and swearing.

word count 3.7kish

Monday morning came around quickly, which you were glad about. The sooner you could get away from that awful weekend, the better. Eddie hadn’t remembered anything from that night, or if he did, he didn't mention it. You were also glad that you didn’t want another argument, and you definitely didn’t want details on his love life. Not that you hadn’t thought about it, your brain was too cruel to not make you dwell on it, you also thought about Harrington was he okay? Not that you cared about him of course just one human looking out for another. If you happen to be looking around to see if he made it to school that would be out of curiosity not because you cared. Thankfully his locker was near to yours so you would eventually see how he was, to be honest with how the gossip spreads in this school you would hear about it eventually if the king and queen of Hawkins really had broken up. 

I don't hear anything about it until a week later at lunch. You were a little late as you had been stuck talking to your English teacher, Miss Plant, and you felt too rude to leave despite the rumbling in your stomach. As soon as you got to the table, a conversation began. “Do you reckon his head hurt?” Eddie joked. “Whose head?” you said while sitting in your seat beside Eddie. “The king when he fell from his throne”. You were beyond confused. Were they talking about a new campaign? You couldn't remember a king in your current D&D campaign. Maybe you had been too busy dazing at your leader at the meetings to notice if there was a new character. You didn't want to feel stupid, so you nodded like you understood. It wasn't until the conversation continued and you heard the mention of Nancy Wheeler you understood. You knew Eddie and Steve didn't like each other, but some of his words seemed too harsh. You saw what Harringtons' wrath could be like, and you didn't want Eddie on the receiving end. You picked at your peas, not daring to look up, and you knew how they would all tease you about nagging again. “Maybe we shouldn't talk about this”. Eddie raised his eyebrow, stopping his rant. “Why are you scared?” he challenged. You shrugged back.

Everyone was surprised. You hadn't nagged, you hadn't come back at him, you had stayed remarkably calm. Eddie wanted to see how long it would take you to snap, but he didn't have a chance when Chris, taking the hint, changed the subject. “So when’s the date, Eddie?” Not realising this would be the thing to make you snap. Since when did he have a date? Indeed it wasn't with what's her face from the party? You thought he didn't remember anything from that party, and if he did, why hadn't he apologised to you yet? “Well, she wanted to come over on Thursday, but I don't know” he looked at you to gauge a reaction; that was your weekly bowling night. Don't shout. It's okay. It's only the night you look forward to most, and you don't have much to look forward to. It doesn't matter. Well, maybe it does, but not to him anymore. “Have fun” you say standing to leave the table, dumping the food on your tray. Any hunger you had felt had gone and was replaced with nausea.

You needed somewhere to hide because you weren’t going to the next period. You needed someone to cry or scream or both. So you disappeared to Eddie’s spot in the woods. You hold onto yourself for warmth, looking down, trying to be careful not to trip on the twigs hidden in the mud. You finally make it to the table without an accident when you see out of the corner of your eye a guy. You pray it's not Eddie or someone here for a deal. It was the last thing you needed. You weren't sure if you would keep your cool this time round, especially with the stupid tears that kept lining your eyes.

“I didn't think anyone else would be here”, he spoke. It wasn't Eddie, but it was someone you also didn't want to bump into. You hoped after that night you would never have to come face to face with Harrington again. “Sorry, I can go,”you say, hoping to make a swift exit. “No, it's fine, I don't own the woods”.

There is an awkward silence. You debated getting up to leave, but you were stuck there frozen. “Looks like I’m not the only one having a shit day.” You don’t dare look up. Yeah, you were having a bad day, but it didn’t feel right to compare it to a breakup. “Mine nothing compare to yours”. You look up quickly. You didn’t mean it to sound that way. “No, I meant I’m fine. I’m sorry about what happened”. God, did you sound as dumb as you thought? “So I guess everyone knows now”. You shake your head “just because I know doesn’t mean everyone knows”.

He weakly chuckles, but there is no humour behind it: “It kind of does. It’s made its way down to the bottom of the food chain”. Steve’s eyes widened. Shit, he didn’t mean to sound like that. “No offence”. He couldn’t help being how he was. Having to put up an act for so long makes it hard to realise when he was being a dick. “None taken”. You shrug. You were used to the name-calling by jocks, so his words felt like nothing. “So what happened to you?” You twiddle with the ring Eddie gave you on a chain. “Don’t worry about me”. Steve smiles. “It’d be nice to worry about something else for a change. So is it a guy?” You laugh at him. “Do you think all girl's problems revolve around a guy?”. He nods.” Well, that is very guy-like of you, but yeah, you’re right. This time, it’s a guy.” Steve’s face lights up with a smirk. “I knew it! So what happened.” You go to speak but look up, realising it is not a friend you are talking to. It’s a popular kid. Even worse than that, it’s the king of Hawkins high. “Just typical guy stuff.”

Steve took the hint you didn’t want to get into it, so they changed the subject. “I know you don’t owe me anything, but Can you not tell anyone I was here? If Principal Coleman finds out I cut, I’m dead” You almost wanted to laugh; the Principal would find out, but looking at his face, you knew he was deadly serious. “who would I tell?” He shook his shoulders. “I don’t know”. You smiled. “Exactly. I’m gonna have to start charging you for all the secrets I keep”. He looked utterly lost. “Huh?”

Eddie sauntered over, his metal lunch box in hand. He could only see Harrington and the back of a girl’s head. So he didn’t know who it was. “My spots are popular today. I’ve even got King Steve, and I assume his new plaything here.” You turn around to face him. Now was not the time for his antics. “Leave it, Eddie” you sneered. The boy’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “Absolutely not” he grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the woods away from Steve.

After many tries, you finally got out of Eddie’s grasp. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”. The boy rolled his eyes, “saving you”. You repeated his facial expression, “I didn’t need saving”. He tutted and slung his arm around you. “You were about to be Harrington’s next prey; trust me, you needed saving.” You pushed him off. “We were just talking”. Eddie looked at you like he was telling off a child, not a friend and definitely not someone he fancied “That’s how it starts”. You hated that he treated you like you didn’t know how the world worked. “I don’t see why you care”. He shook his head. “I’m your best friend, of course I care”. There it was, the famous last words of any crush. You were officially friend-zoned, and you would never get out of that. You felt deflated, so you just nodded and followed him to his van and then trailer.

A month later you were going to another party this time it was your idea. Getting over this crush had been more challenging than you had planned, so you decided to do something the opposite of what you usually would. Tonight, you would act like all the other teenagers and drink till you forget. Or find someone to help you forget. When you told Eddie you were going, he insisted he took you despite your protests. How are you supposed to get over someone when he doesn't leave you alone? You had bought an outfit for tonight because your usual outfit of jeans and a tee didn’t feel fitting. So you bought a red tight spaghetti strap dress, you thought about wearing heels you put them on, but as soon as you wobbly stood up like Bambi on ice, you realised it wasn't the best idea, so you put on your black trusty Converse. It's nice to have familiarity and not feel like Bambi on ice when trying to catch someone up. You hear several impatient beeps outside; you would think you had made him wait for hours when he had only just arrived 30 minutes late, of course. Life is always on Eddie’s schedule. You just wanted to get to the party and out of his sight, so you grabbed your bag put on a layer of lipgloss and ran outside to Eddie’s van.

He had the window down. He looked at your outfit and shook his head. “You’re gonna freeze”. You were sick of his new habit of babying you; was this what you sounded like to him? Was this just him mocking you? The girl from the last party poked her head out. “I think you look hot. I’m Sasha (sorry if this is your name she is nice though) by the way”. You nod. “Y/n”, he brought her, of course he brought her. She was nice. Why did she have to be nice? It's easier to dislike someone when they are a bitch, not a beautiful soul like hers. You were even more jealous now you wish you could be more like her than you. You got into the back of the van as Eddie drove (over the speed limit) to the party. Sasha was super friendly along the way and kept asking you questions to get to know Eddie’s best friend more. The boy stayed quiet, in thought. He was struggling to keep his eyes on the road as he kept looking at you through the rearview mirror in disbelief. 

When you finally got to the party, you found your way to the punch bowl, the pair not leaving your side. You picked up a red cup, filling it with the content of the bowl, whenever that may be. Before you could even put it to your lips. Eddie took the cup from your hands, pouring it back into the bowl, Tutting at you. “Are you okay tonight? You’re acting weird”. God, you were sick of his stupid face and stupid comments, but then it struck you this was your way out from the couple, from him. “You know I’m feeling a little weird. I’m gonna go to the toilet… it’s probably because of my period”. It was a lie, but you knew it would stop him from following you.

You went up the stairs and poked your head into a room, hoping it would be the bathroom. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t; Steve Harrington sat on a bed, his leg tapping anxiously and anxiously. why did you two seem to have a universal magnet. “Sorry”. He looked up at you. You went to leave but were stopped by his voice calling, “Wait, you’re the girl who ditched me”.

“The girl?” You repeated him. “I have a name. It’s y/n, and I wouldn’t exactly call it ditched.” He laughed, getting up and shutting the door behind you. “What would you call it? I know it’s not your fault, though, was your boyfriend jealous?”. You glare at the thought, “he’s not my boyfriend”. He laughs. “Does he know that?” You turn to leave. “I’m not in the mood for whatever this is”. He holds your hand not too tightly, so if you want to go, you can, bringing you to the bed to sit down. You are stocked by yourself that you don't push him away, but the gentleness of this action makes your heart flutter. Maybe Steve Harrington could help you forget. “So he’s the one that made you cry”. Maybe not. You put your hands on your face, embarrassed “Is it that obvious?”. He pulls your hands away from your face, shaking his head. “He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see how beautiful you are”. You want to smile at his words, but they make you cringe. “Is this how you get all the girls?” He sighs. God, he had just been broken up with; maybe it was too soon to mention girls. “I’m sor-“ he puts a finger to your lip. “You apologise far too much”. You nod. “I just don’t want you to bite my head off again”, you mumble, fiddling with the end of your dress.

“When did I do that?” He had no clue what you were talking about, so why did you even mention it? “It doesn’t matter” you keep your eyes down. He uses his hand to lift your chin so you’re looking at him. “When did I do that?” He says as genuinely as he can. He was trying to be better, a more likeable guy, and if he wanted to do that, he needed to right his wrongs. “It wasn’t your fault; it probably just seems worse in my head because I wasn’t enjoying myself…and Eddie was being a dick and-“ he puts his hand on yours to calm you. “It was Halloween; I think you and Nancy had just had an argument. I guess you needed someone to take your rage out on, and I just happened to be there”. He runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head. Annoyed at himself, he couldn’t look at you. “It’s fine; I swear it wasn’t that bad. Otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here. You just told me to fuck off and said bullshit a lot”. He looks over at you. “So you know what happened with Nancy?” you nodded “I got the gist”. He nudged your shoulder with his “thanks for not telling anything”. You laugh. “As you said in the wood, I’m the bottom of the food chain. I've got no one to tell.”

He wanted to beat himself up; he had fallen so far into the idea of popularity that he became what he swore he would never be a dick. “You aren’t, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that.” You squeeze his hand. “Don’t go soft on me. I'm quite content being there . It means I can fade into the background”. He holds both of your hands and looks you up and down until his eyes land on yours. “Someone like you isn’t meant to fade into the background”. You don’t know what comes over you; maybe it’s how nice he’s being, that you had never been called pretty by a boy, or how handsome he looked, but you lean in and kiss him. Maybe it’s because you recognise the broken mess hidden behind his eyes. You instantly realise what you’ve done. You couldn’t blame alcohol for this. You had still never drank. You’re about to pull away when Steve brings his hands to your hips and pulls you onto his lap so you’re straddling him. “Where” kiss. “Do you” another peck “think” another “you’re going?” You giggle into his mouth and further the kiss. Your hips were rolling against his, which was out of your control, not that you or Steve minded. You were so lost in the moment that you didn’t taste the beer on his lips until he put his tongue in your mouth. You tried to ignore it, but after a few moments, that’s all-consuming your brain: the metallic taste of it. 

Steve could tell you wasn’t really into it anymore, so he pulled away. He started to feel insecure. He hadn’t kissed a girl since Nancy had. Had he already lost his touch? “are you okay? Didn’t you like-“ you shake your head animatedly. The action makes your whole body shake against him, making him moan. God, he was super embarrassed now. He moved you off him before anything got more awkward, especially if you were to feel the semi he was sporting. Jesus, why were you so in your head about everything you had a way to forget, and you ruined it? “I really liked it” he refused to look at you, too self-conscious about the situation. He kept his eyes on the ceiling fan above him. “It’s fine, y/n”- you feel awkward, too, so you keep your eyes on the door in front of you. “I just get so in my head sometimes, and I don’t drink, so I tasted alcohol and- I don’t know” You got frustrated at yourself not being able to find words. You sounded like a complete idiot. No wonder Eddie didn’t want you. 

Steve looked at you and started laughing, even though he thought you were stupid. “Wait, so the Alcohol is cock blocking me?” He wasn’t laughing at you. You felt a relief wash over you. He was laughing at the situation. His laugh was so contagious and charming you don’t think you’ve ever heard it. Before you know it, you can’t help but laugh too. “What did you think you were a bad kisser or something?”. He hit your shoulder playfully. “Of course not” He joked. 

There were suddenly loud moans from the room next door. You both look in that direction and laugh again. You do a silly impression of the moan. Steve stops laughing and stares at you, surprised at how good you are at making that sound. She must have had a lot of practice faking it to be that good, he thought. The moaning next door suddenly got louder. You raised your eyebrow at him “wanna play a game?”. You don't know what had come over you, but something about him relaxed you. You didn't feel the anxiety you would feel around your friends, making sure they were safe. You just wanted to have fun. You hadn’t been like that in so long.

Free to just be yourself. He raised his eyebrows back. “I'm listening”. You moan again, louder this time. He didn't expect that. He wanted to laugh because it came from nowhere, but it turned him on. “Come on then”. (totally inspired by Easy A here) You whisper. He got the hint and moaned, too, not as loudly, though. You kept doing this back and forth, both getting more exaggerated and louder. It was hard not to laugh at how ridiculous you sounded. Next door suddenly got very quiet. “I think we won”, he nudged your arm. You burst out laughing. He had never noticed you before, but he was glad he had you tonight. He needed a laugh. He doesn't remember the last time he had actually had fun with worrying about the consequences.

There was a bang on the door. “Are you in there, y/n!?” you suddenly stop laughing and roll your eyes upon hearing your best friend’s voice. “Looks like your boyfriend’s jealous again”, Steve joked without thinking. But he then started to panic that maybe you weren’t friends yet. Was it his place to jok- you smack his arm. “Shut it, bullshit boy” you tease back. He would have hated hearing that from anyone else. But from you, he didn't mind. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it's because there was no malice in your voice. Perhaps it's because you had made his awful night better. His week is better. There is another bang on the door “y/n!” you glare at the door. Of course, he had to ruin your fun.

Wasn't it bad enough that he was breaking your heart? “I should go before he bursts a vein or something”. You get up to leave despite the voice in your head telling you to stay.  “Thank you for tonight. I really need it”. You kiss his cheek. He smiles, feeling his cheek getting warmer and his heart beating faster. No, he wasn’t ready; he couldn't let this happen like this. “ I'm trying to be better, so I don’t want to lead you on. I don’t want a girlfriend”. You shake your head, going to leave the room, and scoff, “In your dreams, bullshit boy”. He shouts after you, hoping you can hear, “I'm not sure about this new nickname”. 

Outside the door, Eddie has his hands on his hips like a parent. “Were you just in there with Harrington?” he says the name like it’s venom. “Yeah, so” just because he was your best friend, he had no right to tell you who to hang out with. You used to think his protective side was endearing, but now it was annoying. You couldn’t say anything about who he hung out with, so he can’t say anything about who you choose to spend time with. Well, that’s what you thought, but Eddie had other ideas, “are you trying to kill me?” He asks like it’s a serious thing that could happen. “Oh yeah, top of my to-do list” There you were, the person Eddie loved, the one with a comeback for everything, but now wasn’t the time for him to bask in your teasing contest that he lived for. No, when there was only a door between you and Harrington, that was too close for comfort for Eddie. He wasn't sure what the new relationship between you and the ‘king’ was, but he didn't like it one bit. 

Taglist : @yourdailymemedelivery @kitkat80 @mewchiili @xprloki

@daisy-munson @exploding-bonbon

(if you wanna be added to the tag list let me know)

Masterlist link here if you are interested.

[theetherealbloom]

THE SILVER LINING — CH. 1

Chapter One: The Mercury Keeps Rising

Summary: After aiding the Republic and the fall of the Empire, you left the Jedi Training Clan on Bogden 3 to help families in need of medical care with the call of the Force. You are a kind, warm-hearted healer on Nevarro, treating the citizens and albeit the bounty hunters as well. Imperial remnants still linger in the shadows, waiting to strike at the perfect moment. Leading you to assist the Mandalorian with rescuing the Child has somehow led you to your biggest adventure yet.

Paring: Din Djarin x Empath!FemReader

Warnings: Violence, Age–Gap Romance, Angst, FLUFF, Eventual SMUT, Swearing, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Crying, Suggestive content, Flirting, People pleasing, Flattery, Blood, Blasters, War, Religion References, Aliens, Sith, Character Deaths,

Word Count: 6.7k

A/N: YA’LL IM BACK TO WRITING MY SOUL OUT HERE YAY! I feel like this is gonna be a weekly updated fic or updated twice a week if I’m feeling speedy hehe. Did I turn to the Enneagram again? Yep! You are an Enneagram Two for this fic! Yay! (Cause I’m an Enneagram Two :>) And Din is an Enneagram One, so ya’ll are romantically compatible. Anyways, my thoughts and explanations are gonna be in the end notes! Leave a comment to let me know if you want this series or if I should scrap it. :)

Song: The Great War by Taylor Swift

Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

NEVARRO, 9ABY – DAWN

Just a little longer now… Shouldn't be much longer. Wait, what is this about? You’ve been having trouble sleeping since you were young. The nightmares were nothing new, but the sharp flares in your chest and side kept bothering you recently. Your nervous system's acting up and now being awake feels unsafe as you lay there in your cot, clutching your chest, feeling each breath that escapes from your nose and out through your mouth as you stare at the ceiling above you.

You were a long way from Bogden 3, where you were raised. Nevarro wasn’t the ideal place to hide. It was situated within a sector of the Outer Rim Territories, in a system with a singular star and asteroid fields. An ashen world of black sands, with rocky and volcanic terrain that consisted of regions of rocky flats and hills along with vast fields of lava, which contained lava rivers both on the surface and underground. 

The planet became a bounty hunter hive after the fall of the Empire. The Bounty Hunters’ Guild owns hubs throughout the Galaxy. One of such hub is located on the Outer Rim planet Nevarro, which functions as a cantina. The cantina works around the clock, has its brewery, offers a wide selection of drinks with snacks, provides coolness from the air conditioner, and is a favorite place for rest and meetings of bounty hunters.

By some luck or the unknown ways of the Force, no one had recognized you nor put a bounty on your head yet. After aiding the Republic during the revolution against the Empire and after the Battle of Yavin as a healer and a medic, you left to medically aid those in need after the war. If you were being honest, you missed your friends in the Soaring Hawkbat Clan and the people who raised you. However, you knew that what you were doing needed to be done. 

Droids may sometimes be unreliable, and no matter how sophisticated technology becomes, there is no substitute for the human touch. No droid, no matter how dexterous, can offer compassion. It might be able to store and process more medical information, but only people can offer a truly sympathetic ear. As one of the few who possessed the knowledge to provide primary care to the sick and wounded, Greef Karga eventually established a small medcenter a few blocks away from the cantina.

You decide to push yourself up and away from your cot, seeing the glimmer of light peek through the window. Cleaning up, getting dressed, and after quickly eating a piece of purple fruit, you sling your brown satchel over your shoulder and hurriedly make your way to the medcenter. As you enter, you greet the 2-1B droid which had modular limbs that allowed them to use a range of surgical tools and other medical instruments based on their patients' needs. You made your way over to your desk, setting down your bag and then sterilizing your hands afterward.

Different energy and buzz were happening around Nevarro. As you patched up one of the Trandoshan and sold them a couple of cans containing bacta for a good amount of credits, you had overheard them talking about receiving a job from the Client and planning a flight to Arvala-7. Living on this bounty hunter-infested planet taught you to listen for information and to use it to your advantage when necessary. They were usually given a holopuck, a simple holographic device used to display an image of the quarry and the bounty payout. However, they were only given a tracking fob, the Trandoshan briefly flashing it to you before tucking it away in their belt.

The next few hours were spent treating different families with various illnesses and injuries, then sending them off with some medication and a specific date to return. This was your usual routine, nothing new to note except for that tiny piece of information from earlier.

The sound of the doors hissing to life causes you to turn your head. If you were being honest, this was the last person you expected to show up in your medcenter. Your mouth gaped open as you take in the sight of the tall and imposing figure in front of you. The unmistakable shape of the Mandalorian helmet and polished silver causes you to nearly choke on your saliva.

“Do you have any bacta spray?” The sound of his rough and modulated voice causes you to try and gather your composure as he walks towards you, which proves to be slightly challenging. You clear your throat and look at his vizor, “Yeah, let me just go to the cabinet to get some.” He doesn’t respond, leaving you to awkwardly stand there for a few more seconds before moving to retrieve the bacta spray.

You usually aren’t this nervous or anxious around anyone, but the Mandalorian was completely different. As you rummage through the cabinet, you try and fight the overwhelming urge to sense his feelings, but it is no use. He radiates with deep hurt from his past but tries to bury his soul in the dark. This Mandalorian weights living heavy on his spine. A man who has created mistakes grips at them until his hands are bruised and burning. You wince at that, nearly dropping one of the bacta sprays but manage to catch it, turning to the Mandalorian keenly observing you as you make your way over to him, trying to ignore the waves and streaks of grey and silver glowing around his figure, you quickly hand it to him while saying, “I hope three is enough for now.” 

He curtly nods, “How much?” You shake your head, “You don’t have to pay. It’s fine.” The slight tilt of his helmet almost causes you to blush, you feel his curiosity and concern, “I insist.”

You blink and shake your head again, “Nope. Just… be careful on your journey. That’s enough for me.” You sense his confusion and interest before he turns and walks away, leaving a trail of gray streaks only you could see, hearing the slight clink sound of beskar, and the doors closing.

Once you’re sure he left, you bring both of your hands to the side of your face, using two fingers to rub into your temple, sighing in embarrassment and disappointment for allowing yourself to nearly reveal who you truly are. Having strong Force empathy abilities involved picking up impressions of an individual's feelings and general emotional state. There was no explanation for the aura you could see around individuals, a specific color for each living creature that encompasses their character, personality, morals, past, present, and sometimes, a rare glimpse of their future emotions.

You try and ground yourself by closing your eyes and breathing, controlled and steady breaths of air as you reassure yourself that you’re safe. The peace doesn’t last long, as flashes of visions begin to cloud your periphery. Loud explosions on Nevarro, blaster fights, the unmistakable loud cries of a child, and the Mandalorian at the center of it all. You fall to your knees, clutching your chest tightly and the other to hold your upper body. You sensed the dark side, anger, fear, aggression, and a lust for power from this planet long before, but now you sense there is something much more sinister approaching.

NEVARRO, 9ABY – NOON

After a few days, you intercepted a transmission from the Mandalorian successfully capturing the bounty from Arvala-7, and must be directly given to The Client. While the Mandalorian was gone you had been secretly training, meditating, and gathering more information about whoever this Client may be, allowing the Force to guide you to the path you must walk on.

You step out of the medcenter to see the Razor Crest preparing to land on the settlement's spaceport and disembark. You toss the hood over your head and use a scarf as a mask, hiding in the shadows, watching the Mandalorian and a hover-pram pass you by swiftly and you catch a glimpse of a green creature inside. Your mouth slightly drops open in shock and the quiet feeling of the Force settles inside of you as you eye the baby.

You follow the two of them from a distance, not wanting to be noticed or seen. The Mandalorian turns right into an alleyway, and you wait a few seconds before trailing him. You hide behind one of the stone pillars, keenly observing his movements. The Mandalorian pounds loudly on a metal door and a TT-8L/Y7 gatekeeper droid,  a simple photoreceptor mounted on a retractable eyestalk. The Mandalorian shows a disc as proof of identity. You notice The Child reacts in surprise as the droid retracts.

The door unlocks, and you realize you must follow them without getting caught. Your eyes close as you calmed yourself, deep breaths in and out, registering the light and sound waves around you, every particle and atom. Tiny pieces of music, notes in the air that only you can hear, each sound of your heartbeat, you hold my breath and try to swim. Making infinite room for hope and oxygen, every cell across your skin comes to life, and slowly willing the light particles to bend and render you invisible to visual and audio detection.

When you open your eyes, you silently gasped, seeing a pair of Remnant Stormtroopers exit the house, and watching The Child lowers its ears and head. Your hands clench in a fist so tight you reminded yourself to breathe, following after the Mandalorian and the Stormtroopers before the door slides shut behind you. Inside the corridor, one of the stormtroopers roughly yanks the Child's cradle. Your eyes narrow in agitation and annoyance, the Madalorian is quick to say, “Easy with that.” To which the first Stormtrooper snarkily replies, “You take it easy.”

The stormtroopers lead you to a frail old man who you assume to be the Client and to a familiar-looking doctor on the side, the Client is delighted, “Yes!” He holds the tracking fob and approaches the Child, “Yes, yes, yes! Yes.” The Doctor begins to scan the child with a device, eventually, the scanner beeps to his delight, “Very healthy. Yes.”

The Client stands taller to speak to the Mandalorian, “Your reputation was not unwarranted.” The Mandalorian isn’t the least bit flattered, opting to question him, “How many fobs did you give out?” To which the Client responds, “This asset was of extreme importance to me. I had to ensure its delivery. But to the winner…” He walks over to the desk, bringing out a large container, “Go the spoils.” After a few buttons are pushed, the sides of the container bloom open to reveal bars of Beskar. The Mandalorian comes closer to the center table, holding two bars of beskar as you frown in disappointment.

“Such a large bounty for such a small package.” The Client says, and the Child cries and coos for the Mandalorian as he is taken away by the doctor. He can’t help the guilt that bubbles inside of him, he asks, “What are your plans for it?” The Client isn’t amused by his inquiry, “How uncharacteristic of one of your reputation. You have taken both commission and payment. Is it not the Code of the Guild that these events are now forgotten?”

Two more Stormtroopers appear from the room to the right, standing behind the Client, “That Beskar is enough to make a handsome replacement for your armor. Unfortunately, finding a Mandalorian in these trying times is more difficult than finding the steel.” With that, the Mandalorian places the two pieces of Beskar inside the container. No longer speaking and leaving with his prize as you follow him outside undetected.

Once you were in the main streets of the city, you pull back your cloak and render yourself visible, watching the Mandalorian walks through the marketplace and down the steps into the sewer below. You feel the heavy weight on your chest, unsure if the emotions you feel are coming from him or if they are your own. You shake your head and make your way to the Cantina, needing a drink after all of the information you’ve gathered.

You were taught about Master Yoda, a legendary Jedi Master and stronger than most in his connection with the Force. Small in size but wise and powerful, he trained Jedi for over eight hundred years, playing integral roles in the Clone Wars, and helped in the upbringing of Master Luke Skywalker, to which your clan members were deciding to join him or not. Could this Child be another one of his kind?

The Cantina doors opened and you were immediately greeted by Greef Karga, “Well, look who we have here our favorite medic! Never thought you’d step foot in this place.” You shrugged in response, trying to shake off the stares of the different guests in the Cantina, “I gotta support Mikgel from time to time. Besides, he said he owed me a free drink.” You walk a bit closer to Greef Karga’s table as he asks, “Why would a woman like you, so carefree spirited need a drink?” 

You sit on the other side of the booth, placing both of your arms atop the table, “Would… finding out about Imperial Forces hiding in out in a safe house on our planet count?” Greef Karga chokes on air and winces, you tilt your head down and raise an eyebrow, “Did you think you could keep this from me? What the hell are they doing here?”

He regains his composure and leans forward to whisper his reply, “I never intended to keep it from you. I was trying to protect you.” You scoff in disbelief and annoyance, “Protect me?”

To which Karga says, “Yes! Protect you, if they knew who you were and what you are they’d–” You rarely get angry, always choosing to see the good in people, but you sense the feeling of Karga’s greed and mixed lies.

You raise your hand, palm facing him, “Don’t lecture me about something I’ve lived and fought through. Giving them your services makes you an accomplice, a rat, and a damn coward.” The taste of acid and the waves of color that is radiates off of Karga is a mix of a bright lava orange and red, his simmering anger hisses at you, “Look who’s to talk. Hiding all your life. Running from your own future. Isn’t that a bit selfish and cowardly?” You deflate at that, understanding that he is partially right.

But before you could respond to the sound of the doors hissing open, you turn your head to see the Mandalorian entering the cantina, which silences its patrons as everyone gazes at him. Completely decked out with shiny new armor, he is completely unbothered as he approaches the table where you and Greef Karga are conversing. Karga heartily laughs, “Ah! Mando! They all hate you, Mando. Because you’re a legend!”

You try and get out of the booth and leave but Mando uses his right hand for you to stay put, so you settle back down again. You raise your eyes to hear the raspy voice of the Mandalorian confront Karga, “How many of them had tracking fobs?” Greef Karga scoffs and gestures around the Cantina, “All of them. All of them! But not one of them closed the deal. Only you, Mando. Only you.” The Mandalorian looks at you, “What about her?” To which you look up at him and frown, “No. I’m just a medic getting a drink after a tough day. But congratulations, I guess.”

Greef Karga continues, “And with it, the richest reward this parsec has ever seen. Please sit with us, my friend.” The Mandalorian obliges and unclips his Amban sniper rifle, placing it on the side of the couch before you move a little to the right to give him room to sit next to you. He took up almost half of the booth with his width and physique. You feel your left arm warm up with how close he was, the comfort that allures you to his orbit was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. You choose to look straight ahead, trying not to acknowledge him pressed up beside you, luckily Greef Karga opens his mouth to talk, “They’re all weighing the Beskar in their minds, but not me. No. I, for one, celebrate your success. Because it is my success as well.”

Your right leg bounces up and down in anticipation Karga continues, “Hell! Even I’m rich.” He chuckled and digs into his breast pocket to reveal the two bars of Beskar he was given by the Client. You roll your eyes in annoyance, but the Guild Master says, “Now, how can I show my gratitude to my most valuable partner?”

Mando cuts to the chase, “I want my next job.” Greef Karga takes a sip of his drink before placing it down on the table, he eyes him with confusion, “Next job? Take some time off. Enjoy yourself. I’ll take you to the Twi’lek healing baths.” You frown at that and Mando doesn’t seem to care, “I want my next job.” Karga sighs, “Sure. Fine.”

“You hunters like to keep busy, right?” Karaga says with an amused tone, “Well, these are all far away.” He places a bunch of holopucks on the table and the Mandalorian reaches out to grab one, “The further, the better.” Karga smiles, “Well, take your pick. You’ve earned it.”

Mando places the holopuck on the table and it whizzes to life, showing an image of a Mon Calamari. “Ah. That’s the best one of the lot. A nobleman’s son skipped bail. Looks like you’re headed to the ocean dunes of Karnac.”

The Mandalorian doesn’t say anything and simply takes the puck and moves away from the table, grabbing his Amban sniper rifle, seemingly satisfied with his pick. You turn to watch him go but he freezes, and you use the force to reach out what he’s feeling, to be flooded with waves of guilt. Your eyebrows knit together as you hear Mando ask, “Any idea what they’re gonna do with it?”

Karga is packing the rest of the holopucks, “With what?” The Mandalorian turns to face him, “The kid.” Karga shakes his head, “I didn’t ask. It’s against the Guild Code.” Mando’s voice goes deeper as he points out, “They work for the Empire. What are they doing here?” You raise your eyebrows at Karga, as you smile smugly at him, “I asked the same thing.” To which he says, “Are the two of you working together? The Empire is gone. All that are left are mercenaries and warlords. But if it bothers you both, just go back to the Core and report them to the New Republic.”

You rolled your eyes and the Mandalorian grunts out, “That’s a joke.” Greef doesn’t give a remark about his statement, instead, he says, “Mando, enjoy your rewards. Buy a camtono of spice. By the time you come out of hyperdrive, you will have forgotten all about it.”

The Mandalorian doesn’t reply and simply takes his leave. You shake your head, scoffing at Karga and he calls out your name as you near the exit, “I suggest you keep yourself out of sight with those Imperial troops. For your safety, of course.” You say nothing and leave the Cantina, you feel the ground shaking under your feet and feel the pressure building until you can't breathe.

You shake your head, and the temptation of the dark side calls to you, to give in to your rage and hatred, you internally fight it off, gritting your teeth as you say, “No.” You catch your breath and focus, rationalizing your decision to break into the Imperial Remnant safe house to save the Child, then you will yourself to move towards the medcenter.

You swiftly walked towards your desk, grabbed your satchel, and opened the flap of the leather. Finding the fabric that wraps around the object you were searching for, you pull it out of the satchel and unwrap it. The lightsaber hilt that you haven’t touched since the day you left the clan, weighs heavy in your hands but the familiar cool touch of silver and gold metal forged into one grant you a sense of comfort. You wrap the hilt once more, not yet needing your lightsaber, placing it inside your satchel and instead arm yourself with a blaster. As you were gathering a few bacta sprays, the double doors sounded open, you don’t look over your shoulder as you say, “We’re closed for the day.”

“I need your help.” You feel your eyes expand and widen, the familiar voice of the Mandalorian causes you to wince a little bit as you turn to see his figure standing a few feet away from you.

You try to act nonchalant ask you ask, “What did you um… need?” Mando steps a bit closer to you, which causes your back to hit the cabinet door, his grave voice echoes through the modulator, “I need your help with rescuing the kid.” You swallow away your nervousness, “What? Why would you ask for my help?”

“You never showed up to the Cantina until today. You were asking Karga about the Imperials and you were curious as to why there were here. You never carry a weapon with you so I’m assuming you’re about to infiltrate their base. It looks like our interests are aligned,” Mando stated plainly as you quietly shook your head, “You don’t know me. So why trust me at all with this?”

It takes him a moment to form a response, you watch as his shoulders rise and fall with every intake of breath, then he says, “I’ve heard the good you’ve done for the people of Nevarro. No judgment or malice. Sometimes giving them medical care for free. You’re right, I don’t know who you are or what you’ve done before. But right now, I do know you’ve only done the right thing. So, I’m asking for your help.”

You were startled by his response, completely breathless by his honesty and directness. You had thought he didn’t know who you were, just some medic around Nevarro, plain and simple. But it seems the Mandalorian also keeps tabs on the citizens around the town.

The color aura of the Mandalorian returns as you blink at him, feeling his emotions bouncing off of him and you becoming the receiver. Sparks of white and silver illuminate him, sensing his sincerity and need to save the Child. You lick your lips as an anxious tick and then nod, “Okay. I’ll do it. What’s the plan?”

The sun was beginning to set, casting shadows on your figures as you swiftly walk down the marketplace and down the alleyway to see the giant green metal door to the Imperial safe house. You make a right to find the hovering pram in the dumpster, and you feel his rage beside you. Like wildfire within him, mountains made of ash and clouds of smoke. It's fight or flight buried in his mind as alarms will sound.

You both climb up to the rooftop of the building across, positioned on his stomach, using his sniper rifle to listen to his targets. Clicking the side of his helmet to which the device whizzes and the static could be heard as you lay flat next to him. You figured he was listening to the targets and waiting for him to relay the information. After a few seconds, the Mandalorian quickly says, “We need to get the kid out of there before they leave.” You nodded as you lifted your hood up, “Okay.”

You both climb down off the rooftop. The Mandalorian bangs on the green door and is greeted by the gatekeeper droid. However, the Mandalorian violently grabs the stem, causing it to screech and rips off the droid's head, causing it to short circuit. He quickly walks away to the side, causing the two stormtroopers to come out to investigate. 

One of them tells the other, “Check the perimeter.” 

You and the Mandalorian plant a grav charge on a nearby wall, he grabs your wrist to hide behind another wall, “Cover your ears.”

You follow his instructions, using both of your hands to cover them, the beeping chirps louder, then sparks begin to fly, blowing a hole in the Imperial compound. Alarms are blaring, as you both walk into the corridor, positioning yourselves and waiting for the stormtroopers to advance.

The yellow lights flicker and eventually short-circuit, catching a glimpse of sparks flying on the side of the wall. You see the stormtroopers pass you and the Mandalorian to inspect the giant hole in the wall, using the flashlights on the side of their blasters to find nothing.

You both appear from behind the stormtroopers, the Mandalorian shooting the both of them from behind. Another stormtrooper enters the corridor and finds his fallen comrades, one of whom has a smoking hole in his chest. The Mandalorian once again appears from the shadows, knocking him down with his blaster and shooting him as well.

So far you hadn’t even needed to draw out your blaster, Mando is truly skilled. You walk through the corridors of the facility, checking each corner for stormtroopers. You and he venture deeper into the compound where he traps a fourth stormtrooper with his grappling cable and stabs him with his vibroblade. 

You shoot a door open and the stormtrooper manages to get a hit on this shoulder pauldron, causing him to jerk backward but manages to shoot the stormtrooper inside the laboratory. You both walk inside and you spot the doctor and an IT-O Interrogation Unit. The doctor begins to plead for his life, “No, no, no, no, please. Please. No. No, no.” You raise your blaster to shoot down the IT-O Interrogation Unit, watching the pile of junk collapse on the ground. 

Mando raises his blaster to shoot at the doctor, but he begs you both once more, “No, please. Please don’t hurt him. It’s just a child.” You and the Mandalorian walk toward him and he continues to plead, “Please. No. No! Please. No. No, no.” Mando grabs him by his chest and shoves him to the side, causing him to fall to the floor. He points and clicks his blaster at him, and he curls into a ball with his arm stretched out begging. You make your way to the machine keeping the child, finding him deep asleep.

You feel the Mandalorian break at the sight, alarms are still blaring, but it's too late for holy water now. He points the blaster, angrily asking, “What did you do to it?” He doesn’t get an immediate response which causes him to repeat the question harshly, “What did you do to it?” The doctor shakingly replies, “I protected him. If it wasn’t for me, he would already be dead! Please! Please. Please.”

The doctor whimpers as you quickly grab the Child and leave with the Mandalorian. You make a right but here the doors open, Mando grabs you and presses you up against a wall to hide behind some of the storage crates. You suddenly feel nauseous and can hear your own heartbeat flutter as you register the cool kiss of his armor against your warm flesh. You close your eyes as you feel the rise and fall of your chest and hear Mandos’ quiet breathing.

You try to push down your powers and senses, not wanting to feel his emotions at this particular moment right now. You feel the strings and waves radiating and intertwining with yours, the silver wisps curling with your bright shining colors. You tightly shut your eyes, hoping that you were almost out of this compound.

Suddenly, you hear the Mandalorian whisper, “They’re gone.”

Your lashes flutter as you open your eyes to meet his gaze through his vizor, there is a spectrum of color, surrounding you both. Your mouth partly opens to say something but there is no sound. For a moment, you believed he felt something too, the pull of gravity within your orbit. However, Mando pulls away from you and the colors disappear once more as if it was never truly there.

Neither of you spoke as you trail behind him and walk into a storeroom. The unexpected sound of the door opening catches you and Mando off-guard as two stormtroopers with flashlights attached to their armor try to shoot you both down. One of the stormtroopers says, “Split up. We’ll flush him out.”

You see their flashlights give away their positions, giving you and him time to defend yourselves. You turn to your left to give Mando the Child, letting him carry it, and make your way to the other stormtrooper.

“Give it up. There’s nowhere to–” You hear the groan of the stormtrooper being taken down by Mando, and you do the same to the other one, hitting him over the head with your blaster before knocking him out completely.

Another stormtrooper announces his arrival, “Hey!” To which you grab Mando’s Ampan sniper rifle on the floor, electrocuting him with the fork end of the device.

As you both exit the storeroom only to run into a stormtrooper. You both exchange gunfire, the sharp whizzing sound of blaster fire echoes in your ears, and the Mandalorian shoots him down. A second stormtrooper blasts his way through, and he unleashes his flamethrower on the second stormtrooper, scorching him. The Child looks away as this happens. The charred stormtrooper falls to the ground.

You groan in annoyance, “How many are there?” Mando hums, “Way too many for the Empire to be considered gone.”

You follow him and enter the meeting room with him holding the Child. Seemingly empty you walk straight to the exit doors, however, they open to reveal four more stormtroopers, “Freeze!” You three are completely cornered, “Don’t move! Hands up!” One of them yells, “Drop the blasters!”

You glare at the stormtroopers as Mando speaks calmly to them, “Wait. What I’m holding is very valuable. Here.” Mando gestures to you to do the same as you get down on your knees to place your blasters on the ground and he gently places the Child on the floor as well. “Now turn and face me!”

A stormtrooper commands, but neither of you moves, allowing yourself to have faith in the Mandalorian’s plans. You watch him clench his fists, and you hear the device on his arm chirp to life. “Stand up!” They command once more but you don’t follow their orders. A beat passes. The sharp sound of whistling birds creating fireworks as he unleashes them onto your enemies, you hear them groan in pain as it takes out all of the stormtroopers.

Mando gently picks up the Child and his blaster to which you grab your blaster from the floor, quickly exiting the compound. You walk side by side with the Mandalorian through the streets of Navarro, feeling the menacing stares of each bounty hunter. You spot their tracking fobs have been reactivated, loudly beeping as they point it towards your direction. Soon enough you are surrounded by several armed bounty hunters.

You spot Greef Karga stepping into view, “Welcome back! I’m surprised to see you ask for help from our talented healer. Now put the package down.” You analyze the several bounty hunters, trying to find an escape. “Step aside. I’m going to my ship.” Mando said, and Karga softly chuckles, “You put the bounty down and perhaps I’ll let you pass and our medic can be easily forgiven, after all, she’s done for the citizens of this town.”

Mando doesn’t relent and states, “She and the kid are coming with me.” You turn to look at him in surprise that he wouldn’t just leave you here to face the consequences of your actions. “If you truly care about the kid and her, then you’ll put it on the speeder and you’ll let her walk away as if none of this ever happened and we’ll discuss terms.” An R6 astromech droid, on the speeder, turns its head.

“How do we know if we can trust you?” You asked and Karga scoffs, “Because I’m your only hope.” You watch Mando walk over to the speeder and you feel your eyes begin to fog with oncoming tears. Karga says your name, “Walk away and we’ll discuss this later.” You clench your jaw and glare at the bounty agent before turning your back toward him, and placing your hand on your blaster as you sensed it, the tingling in your spine and throughout your body.

Mando whirls around and shoots at the other bounty hunters, jumping onto a repulsorlift vehicle carrying luggage. You quickly take cover and shoot down the other bounty hunters running towards the Mandalorian and hopping onto the repulsorlift. Deep and commanding, he demands the astromech droid, “Drive!”

The droid shakes its head in disapproval and Mando raises his blaster at him, “Drive!” The astromech screeches in fear and drives the repulsorlift vehicle while you and Mando are shooting down as many bounty hunters as you can.

You aim for the sniper above and shoot while Mando covers the ground as you drive by. The astromech is shot down by Karga, you see bright yellow sparks and you hear the droid power down. You hear Mando whisper, “Are you okay?”

To which you hum and nod, “Mhm. I’m fine.”

It’s now deadly quiet as the rest of the hunters step closer toward the repulsorlift. The fork end of the amban rifle peaks through the luggage as Mando aims and blasts bounty hunters into ash. Different species groan and clamor to hide behind various objects.

“That’s one impressive weapon!” Karaga states and Mando’s voice booms as he announces, “Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna walk to my ship with her and the kid, and you’re gonna let it happen.”

“No. How about this? We take the kid and the medic, and if you try to stop us, we will kill you and we strip your body for parts.” Karga says menacingly, and suddenly you feel someone pull your leg, dragging you and you yelp out in fear and surprise.

Mando is quick to your aid, using the butt of his rifle and then shocking him with the fork of his weapon, completely stunning the first bounty hunter while you shoot down the second.

You spot the rest of the hunters advancing towards you with their weapons, firing every part of the speeder.

Greef Karga yells, “Don’t hit the target or her!” As a last resort, Mando activates his flamethrower, which causes the bounty hunters to fall back for a moment, only for it to run out of fuel. You lay down next to the Child, craning your head to the right to gaze at his peaceful sleeping form.

You feel the sudden weight of Mando hovering over you and the kid, trying to protect both of you til the end. You hear the Child coo beside you and smile in adoration.

You reach into your satchel and dig for the lightsaber hilt, readying yourself to defend Mando and the Child the moment it comes down to it. Without notice, you hear the whooshing sound of rockets streaking through the air to hit one of the bounty hunters straight through the chest. Fortunately, several fellow members of the Mandalorian Tribe, donning jetpacks and blasters, come to your aid, taking out several bounty hunters.

You watch in awe as the Mandalorians skillfully use their weapons in taking out the remaining bounty hunters, the head infantry lands close to the speeder and says, “Get out of here! We’ll hold them off!” To which Mando replies, “You’re going to have to relocate the covert.” The head infantry responds, “This is the Way.” And Mando echos back, “This is the Way.”

The firing continues and Mando carries the Child and helps to pull you up. You and the Mandalorian board the Razor Crest, but are soon cornered by Greef Karga, “Hold it right there.” You both turn to face Karga as he states, “I didn’t want it to come to this. But then you broke the Code. And you,” he turns to talk to you, “Since you’re with him they will come after you too now. And the Imps will soon follow.” You raise your chin as you steadily replied, “Let them try.”

The Mandalorian uses his grappling hook to trigger the carbonite chamber, unleashing some tibanna gas in an attempt to blind Karga. You expertly doge his attempts to shoot at you only for you to outstretch your hand, using the Force to let his weapon fly out of his hands, he stands there completely stunned and Mando uses his blaster to shoot him off of the Razor Crest.

The hatch closes and you strap yourself in, the Razor Crest takes off, watching the other Mandalorians provide covering fire through the window. You comfortably soar into the skies of Nevarro. You spot the head infantry flying beside the ship and salute him before flying off.

The Mandalorian makes a remark, “I gotta get one of those.” And you snort in amusement. The Child is seated beside his lap and is reaching for something. The Mandalorian unscrews the metal ball on the stick and gives it to him to play with before taking the Razor Crest into space.

End Notes:

YAYYYYYYYYYYYY! SPACE DAD STORY!

You are a force-sensitive empath! HORRAY! 

You can force cloak yourself because this skill tends to come to people as more of a natural talent, for it is extremely difficult to learn otherwise; thus, the reason the ability is rarely seen.

The reader is an Enneagram 2! You are a part of the Heart Center; The benevolent, embrace of the good in other people, engage in every emotional love, you experience and feel their emotions more than anyone else. Helpful, natural nurturers, understanding, generous, supportive, mistaken as the passive, embodiment of what love and embrace look like.

The Mandalorian is an Enneagram One personality type with a Nine wing. Enneagram Ones belong to the body center, along with Eights and Nines, and they naturally make decisions based on gut instinct. The Mandalorian likes to feel in control, particularly of his physical environment. For Enneagram Ones, freedom and independence are important.

SO THAT'S A GLIMPSE INTO THEIR PERSONALITY TYPE AND THE WAY THEY MAKE CHOICES! 

All will be revealed in the coming chapters! I can’t wait for you guys to read them AHHHHHH

Thank you for all the reblogs, comments, feedback, and likes! Ya’ll really are too sweet and I truly appreciate your kind words. SEE YA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!

TAGLIST:

@wastingspaces @avengersheart @lunatic1012 @keepingupwiththeskywalkers

[dearestaussiechannie]

☆ I have a secret to tell you pt. 2 ☆— Han Jisung

word count: 2k

paring: Jisung x afab!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: afab!reader, boyfriend!Jisung, college!AU, Roommate!Minho, some cursing(Fuck,Damn), pet names (baby, my love), mentions of sex, making out, mentions of yelling, comfort, if I left anything out tell me, kinda proof-read

Authors note: HI! this is part two of "I have a secret to tell you" that I wrote and this will actually be the only other part of this story that I do. I really appreciate the love that you guys are giving my work♡

It’s been 8 months since you and Jisung confessed to each other and to say things were going well would be an understatement. Things continued like before besides the fact that your weekly “games nights” were now “date nights”. Tonight was one of those nights. You had both agreed to meet at the coffee shop right off campus for a study date tonight since you'd both had big tests coming up. You had chosen a flowy shirt paired with some skinny jeans before grabbing your bag and making your way there. 

It wasn't a far walk from where you lived, so you made it there a little earlier than the time that you'd both agreed to meet but when you got there, Jisung was already there but with someone else. You’d seen him before but never got the chance to meet him properly. The coffee shop was quiet as you made your way over to the table, putting your bag beside your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when you kiss his cheek.

You feel him tense under your arms, looking over at you quickly with wide eyes. “Excu- oh! Hi baby! I meant to tell you I was here but I bumped into my friend. This is Chan.” He says as he pulls you into the chair beside him. You hold his hand tightly in yours when you look across the table, meeting the eyes of his friend as you wave.

“Hello, it's very nice to meet you. I've heard lots about you and even a song about you.” Chan says which makes Jisungs face turn bright red before he buries it into his book, embarrassment filling his whole body. “I take it that I shouldn't have said that..” Chan says as he rubs the back of his neck and his phone starts to ring. Not soon after, he's saying his goodbyes to the two of you.

You get up from the chair beside him before moving to the one across from him, smiling before you put your books on the table. “So, you wrote a song about me?” You ask him as you dig through your bag for a pencil. “Do you want a coffee? I'll go get you a coffee. The usual?” He asks but before you can answer him, he's gone. You laugh, shaking your head then opening your book to find the material you had been studying earlier.

After Jisung had brought you back the coffee he got you, he focuses on his textbook, both of you writing your notes in silence for about 30 minutes before you can't take it anymore. “Han Jisung.” You say, making him look up a bit shocked. “Yes my love?” He says confused, reaching his hand across the table to you. “A song about me? That you played for your friend Chan?” You say, leaning your head into your empty hand.

“I didn't think he'd say that to you. I played it for him last week when he asked what project I was working on.. He didn't know it was about you but he just kept complimenting it and I had to tell him.” He rambles to you, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. His face turns red again. You can't fight the giggle when you see it, slowly pulling your hand away, starting to put all of your things away.

He looks up at you, confused when you stand and put your bag over your shoulder. He stands with you, putting his things away and looking across to you before walking over and wrapping his arms around you. “Where are we going?” He says as he takes your bag. “Wanted to go back to one of our places and hear this song that you wrote.” You say walking up to the counter, ordering you both of your normal coffees to go. 

Once you get the coffees, your walk back to his apartment was fast, walking in only to be met by Minho cooking in the kitchen. “Did you get me a coffee or was I forgotten by my friends again?” He says before either you or Jisung can get your shoes off. “Sorry Minho, I forgot after Chan said something that made me embarrassed so I had tunnel vision.” Jisung says before pulling you quickly to his room. 

He quickly sits at his desk, opening his laptop and finding the song file, handing you his headphones. Once you've put them on, he presses play. As you listen, the smile on your face makes him smile as well as he runs his hands through his hair, giggling softly. Once the song is over you take the headphones off and cup his face, pulling him into a kiss.

He kisses you back, hands falling to your hips. When you pull away, he leans into you for more but you stop him, hands still on his face. “God, you're so talented Sungie! The rap part.. Do you even breathe?! The vocals!! You sound like an actual angel!” You ramble to him, looking into his eyes with so much pride and excitement before you kiss him again. 

Your words stick to his brain, playing over and over while your lips are on his, moving like they were made to mould together. His thumbs rubbing your hips makes your face heat up, humming against his lips while your hands move from his face into his hair, nails softly scratching at where his hair fades. This invokes a groan from him and the sound makes your thighs squeeze together.

“Shut the damn door! I’m still here, you know?” Minho yells from the hallway, making you jump out of your own skin. You hide your face in the nape of Jisungs neck, pulling him closer to you. “Sorry Minho!” He yells, rubbing the back of your head before slowly getting up and shutting the door. He walks back over, rubbing your lower back and smiles. “So you like the song?” He asks and it makes you laugh as you nod your head. “I love it, wanna listen to it again.. May I?” You ask him, putting the headphones on. 

He presses play before kissing your head and stands up, walking to the kitchen to get some snacks. “Dinners on the stove. Stop eating junk all the time.” Minho says as he sees Jisungs hands full of junk food. Jisung nods before he gets two plates, making you one as well before walking back to his room.

When he gets back, you still have the headphones on but your head is bobbing a bit aggressively for the beat of the song he'd put on for you. He puts the plates on the desk before he looks over to his laptop, eyes widening when he sees that you're listening to a different song that he's written. He presses the spacebar, making it pause so that he can have your full attention. “Snooping through my files, baby? That's not very nice, you know?” He says before closing it and moving the plate of food in front of you.

“I’m sorry.. It's just I could listen to you rap for hours. Who are these other vocals? They sound amazing!” You say back to him, looking at the plate and then to him. “I’ll only tell you as long as you say that I sound better.” He says, slightly pouting. “Sungie, yours sounds the best! I just didn't know that you recorded others.” You say before taking a bite of the food that you know the guy in the living room made.

“It's Minho's vocals. I asked him to sample it for me until I can find someone else to do it but to be honest, I don't think anyone else can sing it better than he did.” He says before eating with you. Honestly, you couldn't agree more with him since you'd heard Minho singing before in the kitchen while cooking. The two of you eat in a comfortable silence, finishing about the same time. Once you're both done, you stand and take the dishes to the kitchen, seeing Minho at the table. 

He's covered it in whatever it is that he's working on, tapping his pencil on the table. You walk over to the sink, washing your dishes before putting them away, walking over to Minho, putting your hand on his shoulder looking over what he's working on. “The answer is right here.” You say to him before patting his back, hearing a sigh leave him. “I've been stuck on this question for 10 minutes and it takes you 5 seconds to find the answer.” He grumbles as he under lines where you pointed in his book, running his fingers through his hair. “You're welcome. Also, you have very pretty vocals, Mimo.”

Once back in Jisungs room, you see his fingers swimming across the tiny keys on his laptop, tapping his foot and humming. You walk over to his bed, laying down and stretching out on your stomach as you take in the smell of him on his sheets. Your eyes close and you hum, feeling the bed beside you dipping. You look over and see Jisung crawling into the bed with you.

“Wanna watch a movie?” He asks, voice just barely above a whisper. You nod before rolling out of the bed and going to his closet. “Yeah, can I steal your clothes?” You ask, not waiting for an answer before starting to pull things out. You choose a hoodie and some boxers, stripping from the clothes you had on to the ones you had picked out before crawling back into the bed beside him.

“You look so cute in my clothes, I'll never get over it.” He says putting his hand over his chest while scrunching his face with a smile. You do the same with a small laugh before cuddling up to him, laying your head on his chest as he rubs small circles into the small of your back. He turns his tv on, playing Howl's moving castle, a favorite for both of you, before tapping your chin to make you look up at him.

You look up at him but before you can say anything, you feel his lips pressing against yours. Humming against them, you make a small ball in his shirt as he tucks hair behind your ear, lips never leaving yours. “You looked really really good at the cafe earlier, baby..” He whispers against your lips, pulling you closer to him by your hips. You shiver from the feeling of his breath across your face.

“Thank you, so did you.. Those ripped jeans and beanie that I got you.. Perfect mix.” You say before kissing him again, your tongue grazing against his bottom lip. He lets your tongue dance with his, hand rubbing your inner thigh softly. He gently pushes you onto your back, moving on top of you, never breaking the kiss until he starts to kiss down your jaw and neck, hands slipping into the hoodie you put on.

“I know I always say that you look cute when wearing my clothes but it really turns me on..” He whispers against your skin, squeezing your breath softly, causing a whimper to escape your lips as you pull at his hair slightly.

“YAH! I am still fucking here! I just wanted to go to the bathroom NOT listen to you making out and shit!” Minho yells, banging on the wall that's between Jisungs room and the bathroom. It causes you to giggle, pulling Jisungs hands out of the hoodie and you squish his face a little. “Well, if you'd ever leave, maybe you wouldn't have to listen to my sex life Minho!” Jisung yells back, shaking his head, hands now laying by your legs.

“I fucking live here! Go to her place! She has NO roommates!” Minho spits back as you hear the bathroom door open, the sound of footsteps getting lighter before disappearing, signaling that he's back in the living room. You look down to see defeat written all over Jisungs face, giggling before you kiss his forehead.

“It's okay we can try again at my place tomorrow, okay Sungie?” You say, making him smile and nod while he crawls off of you. He pulls you to lay your head on his chest again, playing with your hair. You finally actually start watching the movie, quoting parts to each other until it ends.

He puts on another movie before realizing that you're passed out snoring softly, making him chuckle. “Sleep well, my love.”

©️ dearestaussiechannie, all rights reserved.

Taglist: (to be added, comment or message me♡)

[allelitewrites]

(This is my first story and I honestly don't even know if I'm doing this whole thing right but...)

A Subtle Warning

Word Count: 1630

Relationship: Hangman Page x Reader

----------------------------------------------------

Tonight was just like any other Wednesday night. My boyfriend and I arrived to the venue a few hours before doors opened for the weekly episode of Dynamite. I thankfully wasn't booked to do anything for the night. I was only thankful because a rest was very much needed. Adam however was in the middle of a pretty personal feud with Swerve Strickland. Their whole thing wasn't supposed to be personal at first. The initial intention for it to just be apart of the wrestling business. One person wanting another's position. However, things changed when Swerve had brought up that Hangman was walking away from his issues. Walking away from his issues like he had from the Elite and I some years ago. It was a low point that he typically didn't like to talk about and that night, Swerve really struck a nerve.

Hangman and I found our way into The Elite's locker room. The EVP's temporarily absent due to a creative meeting. We set our things down before taking a seat next to each other on the cheap couch. He and I leaned into each other. With the way his calloused fingers were tracing along my skin, I could tell he was nervous. "I hate signing contracts on TV." Adam mumbles as he lets out a large sigh.

I turn my head and plant a firm kiss on his large shoulder before leaning my head against him again. "Just go out there and do your thing." I reassure him as I twist at one of the bracelets resting on my wrist. I can feel him nod as his hand finally starts to decrease the amount of shapes it was drawing. "Try not to let him get to you."

"Well, Y/n, it's kind of hard when he's sitting right across the table from me with a disgusting smirk as he mocks me."

I didn't even have a response. I hate contract signings just as much as he does. They were a stupid excuse to get publicity and a chance to manipulate your opponent on a golden platter. To me, you shouldn't need a set up situation for you to get to your opponent. Everything you do should be in the ring. Without a table and without chairs. Contracts should be signed in the back. A response came to mind but I wasn't able to share it as Kenny, Matt, and Nick came back into the room, instantly complaining about how long and boring their meeting was. Adam sat up straight and let his large hand rest on my thigh. We weren't huge on PDA, especially not around our friends.

A few hours later...

For whatever reason Tony Khan decided to give Adam and Swerve the main event. All for a contract signing that would probably end up with tables flipping and chairs being thrown. I was sitting anxiously next to Matt as the Elite watched the segment go down. Renee Paquette table side to officiate the signing.

Strickland was chewing Adam up, not even giving the blonde headed man a chance to speak his own words. Eventually, he started to talk about how different he and Hangman were from each other. Almost as if he was offended by being compared to the cowboy. "What's a farmer to a mogul, huh?" Swerve asks, making Adam furrow his eyebrows. "What's a cowboy to an outlaw? What's a buckshot to a kill shot?"

I chewed at the inside of my cheek. I could see Adam's gears in his brain moving at a hundred miles per minute just through the television screen in the locker room. He was keeping his cool, never breaking eye contact with the man across the table from him.

Finally, Swerve put his microphone down. For the first time tonight, Adam was given the opportunity to speak his thoughts. But, he didn't start the way I expected him to. First, Adam calmly mentioned the things Swerve had said to him in the weeks prior. However, the thing that caught all of us off guard as Nick and Kenny settled in their spots around the room was that Hangman thanked Swerve. Adam thanked him for reigniting a flame in his body that was long burnt out. He explained how something was up with him. Something that a person really couldn't explain.

The crowd was so invested in every single word that either man let slip from their lips. Letting every single sentence set in, expanding their thoughts to multiple different things. Things that hadn't even realized they didn't really notice at first. A slight stir could be heard as Adam spoke of a dark cloud that he'd felt was hovering over him every single time that he showed up to work.

"And then sure... sure. The sun would shine. I beat Jon Moxley in a Texas Death Match." Adam proudly brags. I caught him taking a pause to look at Renee, who drew her lips into a line at the thought of the brutal match her husband had gone through with my boyfriend. "I reunited with my friends in the Elite. I was able to rekindle my relationship with the absolute love of my life. And it felt like I should've been the happiest man in the world. But every time I started to smile. That little black cloud came back and it started to rain."

I couldn't help but smile at the fact of him calling me the love of his life on national television. Something I could never get used to him calling me. In the good way of course. He continued to speak before addressing how the fans who supported him so dearly deserved to see more from him. And when he decided that he spoke enough of his mind to get his point across, he picked up the pen and signed his name on the dotted line.

An evil laugh was heard. A laugh that echoed through the building. Adam was caught off guard. Looking up to see Swerve looking like he was having the time of his life. Looking like he was having a good time. Looking like this whole thing was a simple joke to him. The crowd quickly canceled him out, a chant of 'Cowboy Shit' echoing through the seats of the arena.

"That was beautiful. But, quite frankly, that was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen." Swerve chuckles before insulting the crowd's home team. Earning an array of boos. He continued on to speak about how he was fueled to take Adam's position in the company before Hangman had heard enough. Tired of hearing how Swerve believed Adam was handed everything in his career which couldn't of been more untrue.

Hangman stood up, the anger coursing through his veins finally reaching a boiling point. "If you think you have what it takes to fill my boots... you don't."

Swerve matched his energy also standing up across from him. But he didn't speak a single word. Instead he froze to look Adam in the eye once more. And just when Adam thought it was over, Swerve rose his and and slapped the cowboy across the face. Adam turned around and leaned on the ropes behind him as Swerve picked up a microphone yet again. "Hey. Hey, hey Hangman. You seem to not think of me as a threat. You sure as hell better watch your back... or maybe you should tell your friends... actually, no. You want to make this personal? Fine, we'll make it personal. You better tell your hot girlfriend to watch her back."

Adam didn't even hesitate, raising the microphone he still had in his hand to his mouth.

"If you touch her... I'll kill you."

Swerve let out a long sigh. Finally he got the hint that Hangman wasn't joking. Threatening me... someone Adam cared about so dearly was the final nerve that Swerve could've hit. He leaned over and signed the contract.

In that split second, I saw Adam clench his fist and I knew he was going to swing. However, I didn't expect what he actually did.

Using the pen Adam formerly used to sign the match contract, he stabbed Swerve's hand. I watched as Strickland screamed in pain. He pleaded as my boyfriend refused to let go. I booked it out of the room. Rushing to get into the guerrilla position. I intended on meeting Adam there. After that... I had no plan, I was left with whatever my first option would end up being.

He forcefully pushed his way back through the curtain not seeing me at first. But when I walked up to him and put my hand on his bicep. He spun around and I could see relief wash across his face. He pulls me into his chest and holds the back of my head. I can feel his heavy breathing and I can hear his heart beat at the speed of a thousand race horses.

He pulls away to kiss the top of my head before firmly grabbing my hand. Not even whispering a single word. He rushes me through the hallways before pushing me into an empty room that he surely scouted out before the show. As soon as I shut the door he crashes his lips into mine, his hands grabbing greedily at my top. I wrap my arms around my neck before tilting my head back to get a good look at his face.

"What?" He asks.

I smile and push a golden curl out of his face. "I just wanted to make sure that I heard you right. Did you say you would kill him?"

A smirk crawls onto his face. His ocean blue eyes staring directly into mine. "With my own two bare hands, sweetheart."

[inniessick]

Thinking abt bf!Innie taking you to see a horror movie with his friends, but while watching the movie y/n gets rlly scared so Jeongin puts her on his lap and cuddles her. Then he fingers y/n in the car to make her happy💗🙁

oh ho ho nonnie... now you've put that idea in my head, and damn is it a good one.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: smut, cussing, petnames (babe, baby, pretty, lovely, princess, jeonginnie, jeong, innie) dom!jeongin, semi-public fingering, idk that's probably it. let me know if I missed any!

You were supposed to meet the guys at Hyunjin's place for your weekly movie night. there was only one problem, it was a horror movie. Despite yours and felix's protesting, it had been decided. You disliked horror movies, you were easily scared. You tried to convince Jeongin to not go this week, but he said he'd be right next to you so you didn't have to worry. That didnt help though, you didn't want to be scared.

"Baby, you almost ready to get goin'?" Jeongin knocked on the door to get your attention, peering his head into the room. You were picking up your phone from the bed, looking visibly pissed off. "Mhm, we can leave." your voice was flat as you opened the door fully, walking right past Jeongin. "Princess, dont be upset, it's just a movie. It's not supposed to be all that scary, anyways. We've been doing these movie nights for a year." You knew you shouldn't be this upset, but you hated scary things, you've always been that way. Jeongin hugged you from behind, murmuring into your neck, "Promise i'll keep you safe, pretty. it'll be over before you know it." You hummed, "If i scream its your fault! Lets leave before they get on your ass for being late again."

He held the door open for you, both of you making your way to the car. The ride wasn't long, you had started to relax a bit. You heard Jeongin take the keys out of the car, before he was making his way to open your door, holding his hand out, "C'mon, I know they're waiting for us." You both made your way up to the door, knocking and it being answered quickly. "Hyun!! They're both here, you can get the movie started!" Chan yelled to Hyunjin before greeting you both, "Made it on time this week?" You playfully hit his arm, "Shut up it was one time!" "You were literally an hour late!" "It was one time, Chan!" You both started laughing.

Everyone was figuring out their seats across the couch and floor. Chan spoke to the group, grabbing their attention, "Alright make room, the loverbirds have arrived." Han and Minho looking at each other before saying "Ew..." "Boo, tomato, nasty." Both of them teasing you two. Jeongin spoke, "Yea whatever, talk when you can actually get a girlfriend." Han rushing to defend himself, "Hey! I've had girlfriends before!" Seungmin turned to him, "When? In like 7th grade, for a week?" "You're supposed to be on my side dude!" "Just saying the tru-" Hyunjin clapped his hands, "Alright shut up, movies gonna start!" Everyone began to quiet down.

You and Jeongin sat on the far end of the couch, his arm holding your waist, giving you reassuring squeezes every time a jumpscare occurred. You weren't happy, but the movie seemed pretty tame. At least, that's what you thought before it started to get real gruesome. A loud noise coming from the tv causing you to gasp, "Fuckin hell.." Jeongin leaned his head down, "You alright babe?" "No Innie, it's getting too scary." "Cmere, sit in my lap, i'll hold you till its finished." You moved yourself onto his lap, still watching the screen, his hands holding your waist and thigh. Each time you got scared, you would push yourself into his chest, an involuntary reaction. What you hadn't noticed was each time you did that, your ass would move right against jeongin's crotch.

You felt his hands push your hips down, "Stop moving like that, we're in front of all the guys." You could finally feel how hard he was under you, your clothed cunt sitting right against it, you moved your hips forward slightly. He squeezed your hips again, pushing you down against him, leaning in towards your ear, "Behave, or I'll fuck you right in front of everyone." You nodded, focusing on the movie again, attempting to not move when you got scared. You had been doing a half-decent job, he knew you were trying your best. You gasped again, the main character getting dragged into a basement before having some not-so-pg13-things happen to them, you shook your head, grabbing jeongin's hands. "Shh, shh I got you." "No jeonginnie, it's too scary, dont wanna watch it anymore." "Movie is almost over, hang in there and i'll make sure you feel better in the car." "But-" You looked up at the screen, another jumpscare, making you push yourself against him, a feeble attempt to get away from the tv. "Just close your eyes baby, innie's got you. It's almost over, nothings gonna get you." You listened to him, closing your eyes and turning your head away.

It wasn't all that long before you started to hear everyone begin to speak. changbin spoke, "Alright, it wasn't that bad, look even felix was able to watch it." "Yea, could've been a lot worse." Felix looked over at you two, "Did it scare her?" He had asked Jeongin, "Mhm, she made it through most of it, though." Han patted your shoulder, "That's progress! Maybe next time you'll get through the whole thing." Your eyes widened, fuck that. "I'll stay home the next time if you guys wanna watch horror, Innie can go by himself." Jeongin squeezed your hand, "I think we'll both pass, don't want her getting freaked out again." Hyunjin chimed in, "That's probably a good idea, sorry we scared her." Jeongin tapped your leg, "C'mon, time to go home." You stood up from his lap, grabbing your belongings off the couch. "We're gonna head home, text me later so we know what were gonna do next week." "Yea! we'll make sure its some cringey romcom or something." You waved at the guys, wishing them all a goodnight.

You got into the car, holding Jeongin's hand. "Don't make me do that again Jeong, freaked me out too much." He moved his hand onto your thigh, "I know baby, 'm sorry." He moved his other hand to grab your chin, giving you a kiss. "Didnt think it'd be that bad, lovey." His hand ran up your thigh a bit more, your breath hitching because of how close he was to your core. "Want me to make it up to you? Make you feel good?" You looked at him, "But- We're in the car, what if someone sees?" "The boys are gonna stay inside, and its dark out, nobody's gonna know."

You nodded your head. "Want you to make it better innie.. was so scared." His hand moving to unbutton and unzip your jeans. "Mhm, I know. Let innie make it better." He leaned over more, kissing you while he slipped his hand into your panties. He moved his fingers right over your clit, rubbing it slowly, taking all your moans into his mouth. you moved away, trying to catch your breath, "Jeongin please, need your fingers, dont tease me." He moved his lips along your neck, "Alright, princess. Whatever you want." He gathered your slick onto his fingers, "So wet for me.." You moaned, bucking your hips against his hand. He pushed two fingers into your needy hole, causing you to gasp at the sudden stretch. "Gonna make sure you feel better," He curled his fingers, pressing against your sweet spot, slowly pumping the two digits into your pussy. "Fuck jeongin, there- need more, gimme more." "More what baby? What do you want?" "Innie~ Want you to go faster, need your fingers to make me cum." You threw your head back as he immediately fulfilled your request, fucking his fingers into you quicker, thumb making circles on your clit. "Can feel you clenching around me," "Fuck- Jeonginnie... mmm, please.." He curled his fingers again, grazing that gummy spot. Your back arched as he gripped your jaw, kissing you deeply before pushing his tongue past your lips. "Mmph.. mm-" You moaned into the kiss, moving your tongue against his. God you were so close, you were right there. He separated from your mouth, mumbling sweet nothings to you.He applied pressure to your clit, moving his thumb against it faster. "Innie.. baby wan' cum." "Go ahead, cum all over my fingers." "Shit.. ahh- cumming- innie~", gripping onto his wrist as you screwed your eyes shut, walls spasming around him.

"There you go, did so well for me." He removed his hand hand from between your legs, you whined at the sudden feeling of emptiness. He licked his fingers clean, "Always taste so good.." "Thank you, feel a lot better." He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, before turning the keys and starting the engine. He took your hand in his, "Lets get you home so I can properly fuck you." You squeezed his hand a little, giggling at his comment. He flashed you a cheesy grin before driving away from Hyunjin's house, eager to do just as he had said.

a/n: thank you so much for being my first ask, nonnie! i loved writing this and may have gotten just a bit too carried away 😅😅.. I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED PUTTING IT TOGETHER!! YOURE ALWAYS WELCOME BACK INTO MY ASK BOX... remember, let's play ♡.

likes, reblogs and feedback are appreciated! ♡ my requests are open! let me know if you'd liked to added to a taglist for future works!

[mingtinys]

Capsize

pairing : song mingi x gn!reader

angst , hurt / comfort , exes!au

warnings : language , mentions of anxiety , arguments

word count : 4.4k

requested ? yes

a/n : been debating on a part 2 of this and can't decide to make it angsty or not . also i only proof read this once so if there are any mistakes ,,, no there isn’t 🥰

based loosely on the song "capsize" by FRENSHIP

The universe has many ways of fucking you over. Sometimes it's a nail in your tire when you're already late for work. Sometimes it's rude co-stars and long, exhausting days on set when all you really want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. Sometimes it's your upstairs neighbors disturbing your peaceful night with weekly parties and loud music.

And sometimes it drops Song Mingi at your doorstep.

Because apparently, it wasn't enough the thought of him plagued your mind during lonely nights for nearly two years straight. That you have you see his handsome and stupid face plastered all over social media. That you have to hear his deep and all too familiar voice on the radio during your daily commute. And now, after four months of silence, the asshole actually has the audacity to show up at your apartment unannounced and way past midnight.

No. Of course, it wasn't enough, it never would be. Because time after time again, Song Mingi has always found himself a permanent place in your heart and a spot in your bed. Two years, and you still fall for his shit, every time. It's pathetic honestly. How every few weeks, just like clockwork, he'll knock on your door with some spiel about how he knows it's unfair and he doesn't deserve your kindness, but it's been a rough day and he just needs someone. And even more pathetic how you just let him.

You should slam the door in his face. You should have slammed it in his face the first time he showed up long, long ago. And the times after that as well. But you've never been able to, and he knows it. It's part of the reason he keeps showing up.

This time it's been months, not weeks, since you've seen him, much less received a single call or text. Complete radio silence, too busy with a tour and meeting adoring fans. And regrettably, you've missed him when you know you shouldn't. Missed his warmth and the feeling of his arms around you at night. Missed the small "thank yous" he'd mumble while you kissed his tears away. Missed the empty promises that "this is the last time," only for him to leave in the morning and continue the cycle in a week or so. He always leaves.

Despite how much you hate him, Mingi is impossible to forget. God knows you've tried. You were foolish to think it'd be so easy to get over him. Or that the four months of silence would magically be what you needed to finally rip the bandaid off and move on, to go on your first date again in over two years. But just like time and time before, you feel your resolve cracking like glass from his presence alone.

But then something in you hardens, and you aren't sure why tonight of all nights it happens, but you know it's been a long time coming. No, not this time. You stand taller than you feel, shoulders pressed back and head held high, and steel the icy wall around your heart. For the first time tonight since you opened the door and found your ex on the other side, you meet his gaze.

In short, he looks rough, reminiscent of the night he first left, his silhouette still burned in your memory with the rubble of it all. His hair is tussled, his eyes are red and puffy like he's been crying minutes before appearing, he keeps fidgeting with his ring, and his clothes are too thin for the chilly December weather. It all makes him seem smaller. Good, you think.

Yes, the universe certainly is cruel, but Song Mingi is even more so. For coming back tonight of all nights, for leaving you crying on your porch two years ago, for every subsequent night he'd show up and bring the pain you tried to bury back to the surface, for never making good on any promise. For refusing to let you go. He doesn't deserve your sympathy.

"Can I help you?" You thrust as much venom into your words as possible, like a snake injecting its prey.

Your tone must take him by surprise because he stumbles over his next words. "Oh um, I– I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Actually I just got back from a date. So no, you didn't wake me."

"Oh . . . with who?"

There's a sick part of you that wants to rub it in his face, hurt him just as much as he's hurt you. Maybe it'll break his heart, break it enough that he'll finally leave you alone. But the other part of you, the part that's somehow managed to slip from the mental fortitude you've built around your heart— the part that still cares about him, tells you now isn't the time. He looks like he’s about to fall apart at the seams, and it's tugging unfairly at your emotions.

Instead, you settle on, "No one you need to know of." Your arms cross around your midsection, half to block the cold weather and half to prevent yourself from instinctively reaching out and taking Mingi in your arms.

The boy glances down at his feet and stuffs his hands in his pockets, shifting from side to side before looking back to you. "I'm glad you're doing well." It sounds sad coming from him and nowhere near sincere.

"I am."

There's a beat of silence between you, and then, "I heard you got cast in a new drama. . . congratu–"

"Can we please skip the fake pleasantries this time, Mingi? It's getting old." The longer you find yourself entertaining him, the harder it gets to keep your heart sealed. You can feel the icy shell around it melting and pooling inside you, resolve leaking from hairline fractures in the infrastructure. You just need him to leave.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you've said. Either find a new line or get off my porch."

Leave, leave, leave. Please just leave.

More silence follows, as if he's waiting for you to ask him what's wrong, and the worst part is you want to. So much so, you have to physically clench your jaw to bite the words back. The confidence you'd inexplicably mustered up to finally put his antics to an end slowly leaves you. And you know right then and there there's a very good chance the cycle will continue.

"Don't you have some talk show interview tomorrow?" The question feels like neutral ground, like you're inviting him to share his sorrows with more conversation without directly asking.

"How'd you know about that?"

Because you still keep up with him to see how he's doing.

"It's all over social media, everyone won't shut up about it."

You watch a part of him physically deflate, as if he was expecting another answer. "Uh, yeah." Mingi's eyes dart around, looking past you, at his feet, your door mat, the moth fluttering around the only light source illuminating your porch. He's anxious. Even if it weren't blatantly obvious, you'd know. You've always been able to tell when he is, and it feels cruel to leave him hanging. So despite your better judgment and your brain screaming at you to just walk away, you continue.

"You're anxious." You state.

Mingi nods quickly. "Yeah, it's been getting bad lately. Over tour I just– I don't know why."

"Is that why you came?"

He shrugs and looks down at his feet, kicking a stray pebble and rolling it under his shoe. "Partially, I guess?"

"Mingi–"

"You always make me feel better."

"I don't owe you that anymore." Your voice is a whisper, and even as you say it you aren't sure you believe it.

"I know."

The next wave of silence is painful. Your fingers twitch at your sides and you're overcome with the instinct to fix something you know is beyond broken. You hate him and the stupid grip he still has on you. But you hate yourself even more for what you're about to do.

Your arms fall at your sides and the feeling it leaves is way too vulnerable for your liking. Reluctantly, you step to the side and gesture with your eyes for Mingi to step inside. It's a shock to only him.

"I thought you said . . ."

"I said I didn't owe you, I never said I don't still care. Now get inside before I change my mind and slam the door in your sorry ass face."

Mingi wastes not a second longer, stepping inside and leaving the ruthlessly cold night behind. Like usual, he takes refuge on your small living room sofa and hugs a throw pillow to his chest as he waits for you to join him.

His shoulders slump as you grab his favorite blanket of yours from the nearby chair and drape it over his shivering form. There's care in how you adjust it to fit around his arms and tuck the bundled corners into his grip to prevent it from slipping. For Mingi, the action elicits a soft, content sigh. For you, it's another thing you'll be kicking yourself over in the morning.

Any other night, you'd make him tea. But surprisingly, a portion of your pride is still intact, so instead you immediately take your seat next to him, body turned so the two of are face to face, knees grazing his.

"Is it something you wanna talk about?" You ask. Usually, Mingi comes to you lacking the proper words to fully express how he feels. In these cases, the two of you will sit in silence until he finds his voice or until you inevitably wrap him in your arms and hold him while he just cries.

Tonight holds no exception. Mingi nods, but remains quiet, staring at the pieces of fabric between his hands and smoothing over the fuzzy surface with his thumbs. He stays that way for a few minutes, each one painstakingly longer than the last. It gives you time to really take in his appearance and compare it to before he left for tour.

You've always worried about Mingi. You constantly fussed over his health for the three years you were together, as well as long after the breakup, even when you know you shouldn't have. You always feared you were overreacting, being too doting, or suffocating. But looking at him now, your anxieties feel warranted.

Exhaustion tugs at his eyes from below in the form of purply–blue hues, decorating his features on par with his already hollowed cheeks. The urge to reach out resurfaces. Like you need to double-check the man in front of you is real, not a ghost.

You wonder if he's actually had a decent night of rest or a proper meal while he's been away. Tour keeps all of them busy and working hard, you know this, but his slumped shoulders seem to carry more than just the weight of normal idol duties.

"What are we?" He mumbles suddenly, the words driving your heart so high into your throat you choke on it trying to get your next words out.

"What?"

"I said, what are we?"

You scoff at the absurdity of his question, that he of all people would have the nerve to ask it. As if he wasn't the sole reason your relationship was ruined. "A fucking mess, that's what."

You think that's the end of it, but then you meet his expecting gaze and your anger returns ten-fold once you realize he's serious. Once the words started flowing, you can’t stop them "We're over, Mingi. Or do you not remember dumping me the night before your first tour and disappearing for six months!? Why are you even asking me shit like that?"

Mingi sinks further into himself the louder your voice gets. Perhaps if you weren't so blinded by the rage of his past crimes, you'd sympathize with him, perhaps even see where he's coming from. But not tonight.

"I don't know. I was just thinking and . . . do you ever think there's a chance we could get back–"

"Oh, you can't be serious right now."

"I am serious!" His voice squeaks in desperation as he raises it above a low mumble for the first time tonight. The pillow he was clutching and the blanket fall to the floor in a sad pile as he stands abruptly, shaking fists clenched over his chest before falling to his sides.

You stand and crane your neck in an attempt to match his height. "You–" you jab a finger into the center of his chest, he looks genuinely hurt by the gesture "–left me!" He stumbles as you harshly shove your finger into his sternum once more. "Remember?"

His silence only infuriates you further. "You left the second your group gained traction because you were gonna be some big idol traveling the world, making music, and performing for screaming fans. You wouldn't have time for me anymore, a relationship in your industry was a liability. Those were your words."

"I know, I know."

"Do you?" Tears break your vision and your voice trembles through every word with the sorrow you've held in for the past two years. You dig the heels of your palms into your eyes and rub, letting them fall dramatically back at your sides. "You know, when I got my first role and moved to Seoul, I did everything I could to make sure I still had time for you, for us. And it was fucking hard, but I did it because I loved you."

Mingi's arms fold around his waist and you mirror him. Both of you grasping at any way to protect yourselves from everything that's crashing down.

"And then you finally found yourself a company and a group, and I was so excited and proud. We could finally be together while doing what we loved. But the second there was a threat of more distance you gave up. Do you realize how much that hurt, Mingi?"

"I fucked up, I know." Silent tears run down his face and fall to dampen his sweater, he doesn't even make a move to wipe them away. They sit there like dewy raindrops on hydrangea petals, doused in guilt.

You feel yourself giving way to exhaustion. It's getting harder and harder to keep the fight in your veins and hold back the flood of emotions that could drown the both of you. There's still so much you want to say, so much pain you want Mingi to experience just so he can feel an ounce of what you've been through. But you aren't sure you can keep this up much longer.

"From the moment you left I've been hanging on to hope that one day you'd realize you made a mistake. Every single night you'd show up I'd think "this is it, he finally wants to fix things," just for you to leave again. And now, after all this time, you have the nerve to finally ask if there's a chance this could still work. Why? Why now, what changed?"

Mingi starts to inch forward but pauses when you take a step back. If you let him any closer, you're afraid it'll be game over.

". . . I'm so sor–" He cuts himself off, that phrase is no longer good enough and he knows it. Mingi takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, albeit shakily. "I um, I never realized that's how you felt . . ." You give him a look as if to say 'how the fuck was it supposed to feel.'

"When we— I ended things, I thought I was just saving us both the heartbreak of what was inevitable." His voice is quiet, and it's like everything you've said is dawning on him for the first time. Rage bubbles inside of you again, but you suppress it for the sake of getting your first real answer out of him.

"That doesn't make sense, Mingi," you whisper, any louder and your voice would surely break. "Why would leaving save me any heartbreak."

"I. . ." He hesitates, and it looks like he's scared to admit the truth. Perhaps he is, after all, he's been holding it in for nearly two years. "I thought you'd be better off without me." He says it all in one big breath, and when you stay silent he takes it as his cue to continue.

"I know it sounds stupid. But everything just started picking up so fast and I got scared." He inches forward, and this time you don't back away. "I was worried I wouldn't be able to give you the time you deserved. That I couldn't be good enough anymore for you." Another step forward.

"And I was so fucking scared that you would start to resent me for never being there. That in the end maybe you'd realize you were better off without me and just forget me. Forget us. I thought ripping the bandaid off would make it easier in the end but it's not."

Explanations fall from his lips, and each word leaves you angrier, hurt, and more confused. But his eyes are pleading, so you do what you do best and try to justify his backward thinking. And in some ways, you get it. You really do. You understand the fear behind his actions, of watching someone you love forget about you. Yet one question still remains.

"Then why did you keep coming back? Why didn't you let me go?" You whimper. The distance between you and Mingi has gotten dangerously small before you could properly register it. Even as he slumps, his stature feels intimidating, and you shrink into yourself.

"Because I couldn't." He answers simply. "Because for the past few months I've been away all I could think about was you. The feeling of waking up next to you every morning, the way you used to smile when you saw me, how lonely it was without you to come home to." Each word comes out more and more choked as his chest constricts and spasms with pent-up sobs. "I realized I don't want to live without you anymore. The distance, the busy schedules, and the sneaking around the press sucks; but it makes the time we finally do get even more worth it. And I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that, I truly am."

"This isn't fair Mingi, can't you see I'm trying to move on?"

"I don't want you to," Mingi's voice is so quiet you can barely hear it over your heating unit. It's selfish, it's so unbelievably selfish of him to say. Yet it brings you comfort in the sickest sense possible. "I want you to love me like I still love you. I want us again."

"Don't confuse familiarity for love, Mingi."

"I'm not!" His voice is sharp, and for a moment it loses its usual deep tone. His shaky palms rush to hold your face and pull you nearly flush against him; you don't even fight to pull away. "I never stopped loving you."

Mingi's glassy eyes flit back and forth, taking in every feature of yours possible. You can feel his chest dramatically rising and falling against your own, lips parted slightly to accommodate. Rolling tears streak in steady streams down his cheeks and drip from his chin in sync with your own.

Your heart clenches uncomfortably in your chest, finally released from its icy chamber and cracking into razor-like shards. You wonder if Mingi would extend the courtesy of picking them up for you, one by one, and piece them back together; just as you've done for him many times before. Or perhaps he'll kick them under the rug on his way out like usual when he leaves for the umpteenth time. You aren't sure you'll be able to survive the latter.

"Did you stop loving me?" It's a loaded fucking question, and it drives true panic through your brain. Because you do, more than you should. But you also hate him, albeit less than you should. There really isn't a worthy word for how you truly feel about Song Mingi.

You try to drop your head, holding Mingi's gaze is too much right now. But his palms cupping your face stop your actions instantly. So you childishly squeeze your eyes shut and pray that when you open them again this will all turn out to be some fucked up dream. But the pad of Mingi's thumb softly ghosts over your cheekbone, working over it to wipe away tears in comforting strokes and grounding you to reality.

"Hey," he whispers, warm breath fanning your face. "Please look at me."

You don't know why you do exactly as he asks, but you always have. Because deep down, however misguided it may be, you have placed your complete and unwavering trust in Song Mingi. It's how he's able to waltz back into your lifetime and time before. It's how he's able to convince you that this time really is the last time. Even if it isn't.

Your right hand comes to rest against his own that's tracing along your cheek. It's the only thing you can do so you won't crumble to pile on the floor when you meet his waiting gaze. "It's okay if you did," he soothes. "I put you through a lot, I know. And I don't deserve you anymore, but I want to fix things more than ever. If that's okay with you?" His tears have since dried to crusted stains on his otherwise perfect face. Determination edges its way into his reddened eyes, though something about him still looks as if one wrong word could send him spiraling once more.

"I wish I could," you admit, then clarify "stop loving you.” That answer hurts him more, you think, if the way his brows shift and jaw goes slack is anything to go by. "But I can't, Mingi. Not when you've made it so goddamn hard.”

A heavy silence hangs in the air, thick like setting concrete. It's suffocating. Painful. So you zone into the warmth on your face Mingi's hands provide, the increasingly even breaths that escape his lips, the hum of your heating unit. Your hand slips from his and travels down to his wrist, nimbly wrapping your fingers around it and tuning in to the soft cadence pulsing in his veins. You submerse yourself into the feeling of Song Mingi like it’s the only thing you know how to do. It truly is ironic just how much tranquility you're still able to find in him, how much he still grounds and stabilizes you. Maybe you should take it as a sign. Maybe this is the universe's way of reconciling for the amount of times it's fucked you over. Maybe things aren't as broken as they feel.

You drawl in a long, deep breath and hold it there until the pressure in your chest builds and your lungs burn for release. Ignoring the screaming pleas from your lungs, you wait. You wait until Mingi pushes out a long exhale and match your own to his. You're tired. You can feel it now that the worst of the storm has passed and the endless crying has left your throat raw and dehydrated. You blink slowly, clearing the blurriness in your vision in hopes it'll also clear your mind.

Mingi speaks first, voice gentle and unsure, like he's scared he'll startle you out of your long-deserved peace. "Just tell me what you want and I'll do it. I owe you that much."

For the first time tonight, you allow yourself a moment to think before just spewing out the first hurt–fueled sentence that comes to mind. You take another breath in, then out.

"I want this to be the last time, Mingi. Either you stay, or leave for good."

"I want to stay." He answers too quickly.

"No," You warn. "Really think about it. You can't say that now just to run at the first sign of trouble. I need you to be a thousand percent sure.”

"I've thought about this for months," His grip on your face tightens ever so slightly, not enough to be uncomfortable, but enough to firmly reassure. "And I've sat through possibly the longest lecture of my life from Yunho for being an absolute idiot. I want the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the ups and downs, the sunny days and the rainy nights, all of it. I want this. I want you."

"You'll have to prove it, I don't trust you fully yet." It's only half a lie.

"That's okay."

With one last inquisitive look, you find no signs of doubt or falsehood in him. It's just Mingi, the Mingi you've known and loved years prior. Kind, gentle, loving Mingi. You close your eyes and drop your head to his chest, closing the gap between your bodies and breathing in his scent. His arms come to encircle your waist and cradle your head, holding you tighter than any time you can remember from before.

"You're a fucking asshole."

A breathy mix between a laugh and a sigh pushes through his lips at your half-hearted stab. The way you cling to him wipes the phrase void of any impact. Once more, the room falls into silence and this time you welcome it, allowing it to settle like a blanket and swallow you whole. It's nice, finally allowing yourself to settle into Mingi's arms, heart bared and vulnerable. To lean on him fully for support without fear of judgment or having to keep up a brave face.

Of course, these could all just be more of his pretty lies and fleeting promises; you won't truly know until the morning. But you're tired, and don't really care to think of it much further. Because as cruel as the universe can be, you’ve learned it is also forgiving.

Like when it sends a kind stranger who knows how to switch out a spare tire. Or when it graces you with rewarding one-takes and coffee breaks on set. Sometimes it grants you quiet Sundays and freshly baked bagels from your favorite café in the morning.

And sometimes, it drops Song Mingi at your doorstep.

Capsize, I'm first in the water. Too close to the bottom. I'm right back where I started.

[robertdowneyjjr]

Prompt: Steve and a friend talking about how much Steve fucked up this situation and how he plans on fixing it

Steve's determined to carry on as usual the week after Tony so thoroughly rejects him. After all, they're still friends, and they'd been having these weekly lunch dates even before they got together (and then broke up), so Steve doesn't plan on stopping these outings with Tony anytime soon. If they're the only way he can stay close with Tony and try to win him back, then Steve will be there, every Tuesday, without fail.

But not even five minutes after stepping out of his studio to head over to Tony's office, he gets a text from the man saying he's too busy to meet up today.

Now, Steve can count on two hands the number of times either of them has had to cancel on their weekly lunch date. Most of the time, it was because Tony had to go out of town for business, usually letting Steve know way in advance. Last-minute cancellations rarely happened. From what he remembers, it had only happened once, and it was because Steve had to deal with a really annoying client for a commission.

Tony had never, not once, cancelled on Steve like this.

So maybe call him paranoid, maybe he's overthinking this, but Steve can't help but wonder if Tony's trying to avoid him after last week.

Dejected, Steve gets off the train two stops early and walks to Sam's cafe instead.

Sam does a double take when he sees Steve walk through the doors. As he hands the change back to the customer at the counter, he addresses Steve.

"Isn't it Tony day?"

Steve sinks into the table nearest the cash register. He knows he looks like a kicked puppy right now, but he can't bring himself to care. This is Sam. He's seen worse from him.

"I think he's avoiding me." Steve leans his forehead on the table and grimaces, pulling his head back up. "This table's sticky."

Sam wipes down the surface of the table, then places a muffin in front of Steve.

"Usually Tony's throwing himself at you, not avoiding you. So what did you do?"

While slowly picking at the blueberry muffin (Tony's favorite, Steve can't help but think), he tells Sam everything. Their breakup that he thought was mutual. The continued weekly lunch dates. How it seemed like Tony was still interested in him. How Steve realized he missed Tony like a lost limb. The way he tried to kiss Tony. The way Tony pushed him away.

"He said he doesn't get back together with his exes."

Sam frowns. "But Pepper--"

"That's what I said too. And he said that would be the last time. That he wanted stability and wasn't interested in doing the on/off thing again."

"Then maybe you need to respect that and let it go, man."

"But what if that's not what he really wants? What if he's just being stubborn about this rule he's set for himself, and he still has feelings for me?"

"Well, does he? Do you know for sure?"

"I know Tony. I see the way he looks at me. The only reason I tried to kiss him was because I was so sure he felt the same. I asked him, point blank, if he still had feelings for me or not, and he just dodged the question. What does that tell you, Sam?"

He knows his voice is getting louder with each word. He's frustrated, aggravated. Sam shouldn't have to deal with Steve like this, but Sam is also the only person he knows that would work things through with him rationally.

A new customer walks in and Sam briefly steps away to take her order. He returns a few minutes later, this time with a tea for Steve and a coffee for himself.

"Listen, man," he says. He takes a sip of his drink, then sets it down and turns to face Steve fully. "We all knew, when you guys broke up, that Tony didn't actually want that. You were the only one who seemed to think it was mutual. Bucky and I thought about talking to you about it, but Rhodey said we shouldn't, that Tony told him that this was what you wanted, and he'd just find a way to move on."

Steve sucks in a breath. He hadn't known.

Sam continues.

"I think you kinda fucked him up a bit when you broke things off. I also think you're right, he's still in love with you. Anyone with eyes can see it. But you broke his trust, and you need to earn it back."

"But how?"

"I can't tell you that. You know him better than I do. Hell, that's what you need to show him. That you know him. And you love him. And that if he decides to give it another shot, that you'll do what it takes to keep him this time."

Steve thinks back on his relationship with Tony, how the other man had always been the romantic one between them, doing little things here and there to show Steve he cared. He had taken all of this for granted when they were still together, and now he realizes that he could have done more for Tony. Steve gave up on them too easily. He gave up on time with Tony just so he could spend more time working on projects for clients that were awful to work with.

It wasn't worth it.

"Do you think I should make some sort of a grand gesture?" Steve asks.

"Man, I don't know. Probably not? Not when he's just completely rejected you. But maybe start small. Do little things for him to show him you care. I promise you, he'll appreciate that more."

Steve nods. He's got a lot of work to do. But it's okay. It's all for Tony.

[xiaojunsmintchoco]

Puppy love - osaki shotaro

sooo...i'm finally done with this piece for @tenderfrailty's nuevo comienzo collab! i'm so thankful to every other writer who helped me while i had writer's block to get ideas rolling. thank you to all my followers for supporting my writing on tumblr, i'm so grateful! also, big thank you to @mintkims for helping me make the banner! appreciate it so much!! i hope you'll enjoy this fic, it's quite long (sorry about that). do leave comments if you can! i would really appreciate the feedback!

pairing: osaki shotaro x reader

genres: fluff, romance, slowburn ; childhood friends to lovers, highschool au, animal shelter au

synopsis: as the school year drags on, you find yourself developing new feelings for your childhood best friend, Shotaro. Meanwhile, he goes through a breakup, and while recovering from the fresh heartbreak, he's trying to decide if he should start a new chapter of his life by finding someone new or staying single. while you're both figuring out the confusing feelings in your hearts, school responsibilities pile up. However, the both of you realise your feelings for each other through persevering through school together, volunteering at the animal shelter, a kinda annoying bunch of friends, and two very special dogs.

Word count: 17.6k (this was supposed to be 16k at most…bye)

Warnings: descriptions of toxic relationships, anxiety attacks, mentions of food, kinda mention of a gun?

a/n: this fic starts in about July 2021, and progresses chronologically until January 1st, 2022. (it’s long overdue…sorry about that y’all.)

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

"Jeez, i'm already sick of school," you whine, dragging your feet that feel heavy as lead behind Shotaro as the both of you walk to the multi-purpose hall, where the weekly student council meeting would be held. "It's only been half a year, but there's so much to do. Student council, band, schoolwork, tuition...the list goes on!" You finish with a sigh of resignation as you walk into the room.

Shotaro chuckles softly after hearing your complaints, but you can tell he's exhausted too, from the dark circles around his eyes, resembling a panda. He has about the same hectic schedules as you, after all. "So am I," he admits while pulling out chairs for both of you. "But we've got each other to go through this together, and that makes it easier," he adds, his characteristic eye smile gracing his features.

You look up at your best friend, and seeing his smile is enough to boost your mood. "Yeah," you say, sitting down and waiting for the meeting to start. "That's not so bad". He then flashes you a wider grin as he turns back to the front.

There was one thing you'd always envied about Shotaro: even if he's not feeling good, he always finds a reason to smile. You'd been best friends with him since childhood, but his personality has never changed; shy and bashful, but optimistic and compassionate to everyone. You liked that about him, it was what made him so precious. Even now, as you're thinking about it, you feel a flutter arise in your heart.

Wait what? What is this feeling? You think to yourself. You tried your best to push the feelings aside as you knew that you guys were just friends. Besides, he already had a girlfriend. It shouldn't be a surprise, with a personality as lovable as his, any girl would fall for him.

Kim Miyoung. Pretty, smart and popular, she was the one every boy in school pined for. Some would follow her around with heart eyes (disgusting, I know). Others dropped small gifts and notes in her locker, hoping to win her heart. Yet, in the end, she fell head over heels for your closest friend, out of every other boy she could have chosen. You remembered when Shotaro first brought you to meet her, he'd introduced you to her as "my best friend". To many people, this was a bombshell as they'd always thought that you and Shotaro would date, if you guys weren't already dating. Yes, that's how close you both were.

As you remember that, a fresh pang of jealousy and sadness comes out of nowhere and stings at your heart, causing you to let out a sigh involuntarily. He's just my friend, so why am I jealous?

You feel someone poking your shoulder. "Y/n? you alright?" Shotaro's soft whisper sounds next to you. Turning, you see him looking at you, worry apparent in his eyes. "I don't think you've sighed this much in one morning before".

You snap out of your daze and put on another smile. "Yeah, I'm fine...just more tired than usual," you half-fib. It was kind of true, after all.

Shotaro nods understandingly, pulls out two sweets from his pocket, and passes one to you. It was the exact brand and flavour that you liked. He always kept some in his pocket specially for you, in case you were in need of a mood boost. That was just one of many habits he had that you found endearing. "Eat this before Mrs Jeong comes in," he mouths as he unwraps his sweet and pops it in his mouth. You do likewise and stuff the wrapper in your pocket just as Mrs Jeong walks in. The councillors stand up, bow, and greet her. She gives us a brief nod in return.

The council president, Taeyong, steps up, along with the council vice-presidents, Kun and Doyoung. "The meeting will please come to order," he declares, and Kun begins to take everyone's attendance. Just like that, another boring council meeting has started.

»»————------------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

"Hey, congrats Taro!" You heartily congratulate Shotaro after the meeting ends, referring to him by the nickname you'd given him since you were kids. The new members of the student council executive committee had been announced at the meeting, and Shotaro was one of them, which meant he would be running for the position of council president along with four other people.

He beams back at you, returning the high-five. "Thanks," he says. "I'll do my best to serve in whatever role I'm given. I wish you were chosen too though".

You dismiss him with a wave of your hand. "Heck, I'm grateful that I wasn't selected! No extra responsibilities for me," you reason with him.

"Good point," Shotaro muses with a small laugh as you both stroll into the classroom. "Less responsibility, more time for other things".

You take your seats at the assigned desks. "My place or yours later?" you ask as you get your stationery out. Every day after school, you would go to each other's house to study and do homework, and just hang out and chill when you were done. It had been a custom for the both of you since elementary school, unless one of you had after school activities. On weekends, the others from your friend group would join. Sometimes, you'd even have sleepovers with them, which always resulted in lots of laughs together.

"Mine's open," Shotaro replies as you continue digging for your worksheets in your file. As soon as you find your homework, Mr Moon arrives, and greets the class before beginning lessons.

"Before I start, I want to announce this to the class," Mr Moon said, flashing a notice onto the projector. "The school has started a new initiative to give students the opportunity to lend a helping hand to others. In two weeks' time, everyone will have to begin doing volunteer service".

Audible groans fill the classroom. "I understand that you all already have a lot on your plates, but try to take this seriously, okay?" Mr Moon continues, attempting to empathise with the class. "Take this as an opportunity to practice compassion. Also, the more volunteer hours you serve, the more points you'll have when the hours get converted to points. The points will show up on your portfolio, and they will come in useful when you apply to other schools in the future, or when applying for a job. I encourage you all to find a few friends to volunteer with for causes you're passionate about, that will make it more enjoyable. Remember, a few hours of volunteer work on your part could mean so much to the beneficiaries," Mr Moon concludes. "Okay, now that's out of the way, let's get to the lesson. Today we will learn about..." however, you're barely paying attention. Instead, your mind is wandering, thinking of places to volunteer at. That is, until Shotaro kindly brings you back to the real world, forcing you to focus.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

"Do you want to volunteer together?" you ask Shotaro as you're waiting for your orders to be finished. You're both at Starbucks after school, ordering coffee to fuel your study session later. Year-end exams are happening in a few months, and you both cannot afford to fall asleep while studying.

"Of course! Miyoung will be volunteering with her friends anyway". He answers. At that moment, the barista calls your names, and you go to collect your orders. Meanwhile, for some reason, you're secretly celebrating that Miyoung won't be volunteering with him.

Shuffling out of Starbucks, Shotaro sips his coffee thoughtfully. "Is there any particular cause you have in mind?" he asks.

Tilting your head to the side, you give it some thought. "Not really," you admit. "I'd be happy to volunteer anywhere".

Shotaro falls silent for a while, and you swear you can hear the gears in his brain beginning to turn. Suddenly, his eyes light up. "I know! What about the animal shelter?" he proposes, turning to you, eyes wide with excitement. He knew that you both liked animals, and that animal welfare was something you're both passionate about. After all, he'd adopted a dog from the shelter before, and you'd rescued a cat from the streets before.

"Sure, let's go!"

The both of you skip to the shelter together like children, ignoring the stares from strangers. You'd done so many crazy things together throughout your friendship, this was nothing new.

When you reach the animal shelter, Shotaro pushes you in front. Knowing this is your cue to step up, you walk up to the counter. Realising that no one is there, you ring the bell. "Coming!" a male voice answers, and seconds later a boy with the thickest eyebrows you've seen rushes out. "Hi, how can I help?" he enquires with a friendly smile, and your eyes land on his nametag: Xiao Dejun.

"Hello, we would like to volunteer at this shelter," you say as politely as you can, gesturing to Shotaro.

"We'll be able to do so weekly, every Saturday morning". Shotaro finishes for you.

"Oh! That's fantastic, we really do need more volunteers," Dejun replies, clearly thrilled at the prospect of having new members onboard the team. "How old are you guys?" he questions further.

"We're 17," you respond.

"Okay that's great! You're old enough to volunteer," Dejun confirms with you as he gets out two application forms and a pen, and hands them to us. "You just have to fill this up, and you're good to go!"

As soon as you're both done scribbling your details on the form, you pass them back to Dejun, who briefly scans them and nods approvingly. "Great! I'll just have to get this approved by the shelter owner, and if all goes well, you guys can start this Saturday!"

Thanking Dejun, you both leave the shelter and proceed to Shotaro's house. "This Saturday! I can't wait," you squeal excitedly, thinking of all the adorable animals you'd get to work with.

"I know right! It's gonna be such fun!" Shotaro responds with equal enthusiasm, looking forward to the experience as well.

The two of you continue to banter on the way to his house. Upon arrival, you greet his mum and siblings and make your way upstairs to his room.

"Do you both want lunch?" His mum knocks the door, enters, and asks the both of you. You'd been coming over so often, his family was used to it already. His mum would even cook lunch for you whenever you came.

"Yes, please," Shotaro answers. "For both of us". She nods and leaves as Shotaro tells her "thanks".

"What are you gonna start on first?" You ask him, taking out your stationery and books.

"I'll start with Mathematics first. Get the hardest subject over and done with," he makes up his mind after a few seconds of thinking.

"Okay, I'll do that too then. We can help each other out," you add as he nods.

A few hours pass, and you look up to see Shotaro on his phone, typing busily on his phone, a small smile on his face. "Is it Miyoung?" You ask, and he nods, still typing. Usually, when you asked him questions about his girlfriend you would genuinely smile together with him, satisfied that he is happy with the girl he is with now. But today, your smile felt slightly manufactured, and mixed with the feelings of joy was a hint of sourness.

"Yep, it is," he replies, fingers still furiously working their way across the screen. "She's asked me on a date tomorrow," he explains.

"That's nice," you respond as the sour feeling seeps through your heart, further contaminating the joy that it now holds. "Where are you guys going?"

"We'll be at the park near school, having a picnic". He answers your question, then puts down his phone, with the same smile on his face. "I can't wait. It's been a while since we've been on a date together, so I'm glad we finally get to have one again".

"Didn't you ask her out many times previously?" you raise an eyebrow, finding it suspicious. She'd never rejected his invitations to go on dates, and if she had something on she'd always do her best to get it rescheduled, whether by hook or by crook.

"She said she was busy. I didn't want to bother her, so I told her to contact me when she's free," he says.

"I see," you hum, wanting to dismiss it as just that. Yet, for some reason, you can't seem to silence the alarm bells going off in your head. Shaking your head to try to ignore them, you look down at your assignment again, trying to get back to work.

However, you didn't realise that his smile was just the slightest bit forced as well, with a tinge of uneasiness in it.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

Saturday finally arrives, and it's time for you and Shotaro's first day of volunteer work, following Dejun's message to you both saying that your applications had been accepted. You'd agreed to meet Shotaro at his house at 7: 45 AM and head to the shelter together. Bounding up the steps, you press the doorbell and wait for him to open the door. "Coming!" Sure enough, you hear his voice from inside the house, and the thumping of footsteps. Following a "bye" to his parents and siblings, he opens up the door and greets you with his usual cheery tone, and you both are ready to set off.

There's a spring in both of your steps, instead of the usual tired dragging of feet. "I hope we'll get to play with them!" Shotaro gushes excitedly.

"I hope we'll get to walk the dogs!" you chime in, your own exhilaration taking over you as you continue down the path faster.

Upon arrival, Dejun is already waiting for the both of you at the counter. "Hi! Shotaro and y/n, correct?" You both nod eagerly. "Nice! I'm Xiao Dejun, but you can call me Xiaojun". He introduces himself. "I'll give you a tour of the shelter, brief you on your responsibilities for today, and you'll be good to go. Before that, do change into this". He tosses two volunteer T-shirts to both of you, and directs you to the washrooms to change.

When you both are done, Xiaojun gives you your volunteer badges before leading you both on a tour of the shelter. After that, he gives instructions on your different duties, such as how much food to give, how to clean the animals' living areas and how to properly handle the animals. "I think our first duty is to walk dogs together," he informs you both. "Let's get the leashes, and then we can go!"

With that, you all locate the storeroom and get the leashes, and then make your way over to the "Dog Dorm" to get the dogs. You successfully clip the leashes to every dog's collar, except for one, a shy Maltese, whose dog tag reads "Cloud". "Cloud, hey, over here". You try to coax the dog over again, but it walks forward a few steps, and then shies away again, whining.

A bark rings through the enclosed space. Turning, you see that a Samoyed puppy Shotaro is holding is gazing at Cloud with its boba eyes, tongue hanging out of its mouth. It barks again, as if beckoning her over. The Maltese trots to the Samoyed and nuzzles against him. "Hey Cloud, come here," Xiaojun calls softly. You turn around, and see him gesturing to the dog, treats in hand. She slowly goes over to him and eats the treats gently. "She's quite shy. She needs time to get used to strangers," Xiaojun explains. "She was like this with me at first too. But you should be able to bond with her after some time, pets and lots of treats. She's actually really sweet," a fond smile makes its way onto his face as he ruffles her fur affectionately. "Let's go!"

Xiaojun strikes up a conversation with both of you, and you all get to know each other better. You find out that he's in his final year at high school, wants to study veterinary medicine after graduation, and that his mum owns the shelter, and has a degree in veterinary medicine. Meanwhile, he found out that you wanted to study (insert course), while Shotaro wished to study to become a dance teacher, and he encouraged you both to work towards your dreams as well.

You get back to the shelter after the 1-hour walk, and get the dogs back into their enclosures. "Will you both be able to handle the dogs' baths yourselves?" he asks, ensuring that you both would be okay with the next task. "I'd stay and help, but another volunteer needs assistance with an injured rabbit".

"We'll be fine," Shotaro replies, and gives a thumbs-up sign. "We should be able to handle this".

"Okay, if you need anything, just text or call me, okay?" Xiaojun instructs, and then rushes off in the direction of the Rabbit Run.

Heading into the storeroom, you both get out a tub, the dog shampoos and volunteer smocks (because you both know most dogs shake the water out of their fur like there's no tomorrow after a bath and you'd rather not be drenched), and bring the stuff out into the backyard, then connect the hose to a tap nearby. You both work like a factory line, with Shotaro shampooing the dogs' fur while you dry them off, you get the dogs clean faster than you expected. All except Cloud.

"What do we do?" you sigh exasperatedly, looking to Shotaro for help since he's more experienced with dogs. "I can't coax her over".

Shotaro brings out a few treats, and slowly approaches her the way Xiaojun did. "Hey," he softly calls, stopping a few feet away from her and holding out the treats. She cautiously trots to him, sniffs at the treats in his hand, and gently nibbles at them. He lets her sniff him a bit more before petting her. "Good girl," he whispers to her.

You gawk at him. "Are you some dog whisperer or something?" you ask incredulously, blown away by his ability to get Cloud to approach him. "Because I swear, I don't know what magic you use to get Cloud to come to you so easily". You'd tried tempting her with treats earlier, but that failed.

"I'm just better with dogs than you," he jokingly brags as he settles Cloud into the bathtub and begins to shampoo her fur gently.

"Tsk, showoff," you scoff.

His only response is to laugh, which you've grown to find music to your ears as you find it adorable. He's so cute when he laughs, a thought enters your head, slowly causing a smile to spread across your face.

Focus on the dog! A voice in your head chides you as Shotaro hands Cloud to you. You look down and pretend to busy yourself with drying her off, hoping that he doesn't pick up on your flustered state. But you don't realise that he quickly busies himself with packing up the cleaning supplies to avoid you seeing his pink-tinted cheeks.

"These might be useful". He taps your shoulder, takes some dog treats out of his pocket and hands them to you. Sure enough, they come in handy as you distract her with the treats while towel drying her fur. You're actually glad that she's more docile and tame than the other dogs, or else you would be having a very hard time right now. And although you didn't mention it, you were really glad that you had Shotaro to help you - maybe more than just glad.

Finishing the cleanup, you check your phones, referring to Xiaojun's message to see what else is left for both of you. Your next task is to refill all the animals' food bowls and water bottles. Simple yet time consuming, considering the number of animals that were living in the shelter.

"Xiaojun's in the training area," Shotaro tells you as soon you're finished feeding the animals. "He says we can head over and observe the training sessions".

Both of you sprint to the training area, where Xiaojun is giving commands to the Samoyed Shotaro was walking earlier. "He looks like Jeno," Shotaro points out, making you laugh as you begin to see the uncanny resemblance between the dog and your mutual friend. You snap a picture of the dog, reminding yourself to send it to the group chat and tease Jeno later.

"Very good!" Xiaojun compliments the puppy, giving it a treat and scratching it behind the ears. The pup gives a happy bark, panting excitedly with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, and the sight is enough to make everyone's hearts melt. Xiaojun then looks up, beckoning you both over. He hands Shotaro a clicker, and gives you a bag of dog treats. "This is Jake. He's a five month old Samoyed," Xiaojun explains. "You can try giving him a few simple commands, like 'sit', 'stay'...you know, the usual. If he does the tricks correctly, you press on the clicker and then give him a treat. If not, repeat the command and see if he does it right," he instructs. "Give it a try! Jake's very friendly," he grins.

"You can go first," Shotaro passes you the clicker.

"No, you go first," you say and push the clicker back into his hand. "I'd like to see you demonstrate first before I try," you reason. "Who was bragging about being better with dogs earlier?" You take the chance to tease him, and he groans.

"Alright, alright," Shotaro concedes and takes the clicker. "N-no need to remind me".

Was that a light blush you saw on his cheeks?

And was that a stutter?

You dismiss the fleeting thought, watching as he proceeds to give Jake all sorts of simple commands, which he has no problem following. "Your turn," he says, passing you the clicker and treats.

You take the items from Shotaro and get ready to train the pup. "Jake, sit". Jake immediately gets into a sitting position. "Roll over". He drops to the floor and rolls over. As you give him more commands, he obediently follows them all, and you realise how well-trained the Samoyed puppy is. "Good boy!" you compliment Jake wholeheartedly, patting him on the head.

Xiaojun smiles at the sight. As you're about to go through another round of commands with Jake, a whine sounds from not far away. Turning, you see Cloud run over to Jake, who barks excitedly upon seeing Cloud. She nuzzles up next to him as he sniffs her all over. "Oh yes, I'll have to train Cloud; she needs more specialised training so I'll have to spend more time with her. Have fun training Jake!" he waves and gestures to Cloud to come with him. "Remember to check out when you leave". You say goodbye to Xiaojun and continue playing with Jake, until it's time for both of you to leave.

On the way home, you both continue making small talk with each other until you're at Shotaro's doorstep. "Wanna come over later?" he asks you. "Miyoung cancelled our date plans. I can ask the other guys to come as well".

You frown. "This is like the millionth time she's cancelled a date with you. What's up?" you question, feeling like something was up.

Shotaro shrugs in response. "She said she's busy again".

"What's she so busy with?" you press for answers.

"I'm not sure," Shotaro replies. "But I don't blame her, we're all getting busier anyway," he adds, and you know that he's got a valid point.

"Alright then. I'll go home, freshen up, and then come over," you say.

"Okay! See you guys later," Shotaro waves to you with a bright smile, opening his door and stepping in.

He's so cute and pure, you think to yourself. Miyoung better be treating him right. At the same time, a dull ache in your heart makes itself known, and you can't seem to shake it off.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

"So, we'll all be part of the band committee together!" Donghyuck exclaims excitedly, putting his drumsticks into his bag and hurrying out of the band room with you and Renjun as soon as you've all finished tidying up the band room. "I can't wait to start!"

Both of you laugh at Donghyuck's enthusiasm. "Me too," Renjun admits, packing his euphonium into its case. "I think we'll make a great team!"

"We do have really good chemistry, after all," you chuckle in agreement with them, slinging the flute case around your shoulder. You were merely feigning excitement; in reality you wished that you did not have to take on this role. So much for not having extra responsibilities! At least you were given the least stressful role, the Band Major Admin (BMA). Poor Renjun got the most stressful role, Band Major Music (BMM). He would have to know music better than all his bandmates and serve as the main communication channel between the band and the conductors. Donghyuck would be Drum Major (DM), in charge of the band's welfare and discipline (to be honest, neither you nor Renjun can visualise him keeping the band under control).

"That's why our ensemble performances together are always outstanding!" Donghyuck adds. "We're the best team! With us leading, NCIT Band will never fail!"

You and Renjun continue to laugh at the pumped-up Donghyuck. Once out of school, all of you turn on your phones. Renjun and Donghyuck immediately begin celebrating in the groupchat you have with Jaemin, Jeno, Yangyang and Shotaro. In order for them to not be suspicious of you, you leave a few celebratory messages of your own in the group chat as well. Sighing, you exit the group chat and private message Shotaro.

You: shotaro

You: i really don't want this role 〒_〒

Shotaro: why though? it's a good thing!

You: i didn't want extra responsibilities and stress remember

You: now here I am with this stupid role

You: at least renjun and donghyuck can suffer with me

Shotaro: hahaha yeah, i saw you guys celebrating in the group chat

Shotaro: you celebrated too cuz you didn't want them to suspect that you were stressed over the role amirite

You: omg you know me too well

Shotaro: ofc i've known you since we were literal babies pls

Shotaro: but anyway always remember that you've got ppl to fall back on in times when you're troubled or stressed

Shotaro: myself included ^-^

Shotaro: and since renjun and donghyuck are leading with you, i'm sure they'll be willing to support you too!

Shotaro: and i'll do my best to help you out too <3

You: thanks bro <3

You look at the text conversation, smiling to yourself. Why is he so cute? You begin screaming mentally as your heart rate increases to about 160 beats per minute.

"Hey! Earth to y/n!" Haechan waves his hand in front of your face as you're jerked back to reality.

"What?" you snap. "Oops, sorry, I didn't mean to snap," you quickly put your hands over your mouth and apologize. "I was startled".

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. "You and Shotaro must have been flirting with each other again," he clucks disapprovingly and shakes his head. "Anyway, wanna get bubble tea with us? We're heading to the shop nearby".

"I was NOT flirting with him! He has a girlfriend," you raise your voice defensively at Donghyuck. "I was just texting him. We're just friends. And yes, let's go".

We're just friends, the words echo in your mind painfully, as if mocking you and reminding you that that was all that you and Shotaro would be.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

Back at the shelter, you and Shotaro have finished with your duties, and you're sitting in the yard, playing with the dogs again. You'd met many animals, all lovable in their own ways, but two particular dogs found themselves a special place in you and Shotaro's hearts: Jake and Cloud. Not only were their individual personalities adorable, their friendship together was something you found precious as well.

You're watching them play in the backyard after volunteer duties are over, as Jake tackles Cloud to the ground. Cloud growls back playfully, trying to get back up and fight back against Jake. The sight reminds you of how you and Shotaro would play fight (with boundaries of course) at times, putting a smile on your face.

"You know, Jake reminds me a lot of you". Shotaro states out of the blue.

"And why would that be?" you query, genuinely curious as to why Shotaro thought that way.

"You're both naturally very outgoing, and enjoy the company of people," he says as both dogs come over to you both, with Jake gravitating towards Shotaro and Cloud to you. "Not only that, you're both very sweet," he finishes, lovingly patting Jake on the head and giving him a treat.

"Really? You know, Cloud reminds me of you too," you say softly, reaching out to pat the dog in question.

"Eh? Why?" His dark brown eyes widen in surprise, and you giggle at his astonished expression.

"Remember how shy Cloud was?" you ask as he bobs his head up and down earnestly. "You were the same," you remind him, referring to the memory of your first meeting. You recall when you and your mum went to greet the new neighbours. There little Shotaro was, clinging on to his mother's leg, peering at you as his inquisitive eyes shone, reflecting curiosity and nervousness.

"Oh yeah, I remember when I first met you when my family first moved in. I was hiding behind my mother because I was so scared to come and meet you," he finishes for you, chortling at the memory. "You had to come take my hand and invite me to play with you".

"Isn't that similar to Cloud? She was super shy, and she needed Jake to bring her out of her shell," you point out.

Shotaro's mouth forms an "o" as he realises what you mean. "Like how you had to bring me out of mine," he adds.

"But," you continue. "She's really sweet once you get to know her. Cloud ignored me initially. It's like how when I first talked to you, you barely even gave me a reply!" you recall more memories of that day as Shotaro's face flushes red at the memory of how he'd unintentionally ignored you. "I have to admit, I thought you were rude at first. But you turned out to be one of the sweetest people I've ever met," you say to him honestly, stopping to tease him about how the tips of his ears had turned a shade of red at the compliment, which only serves to make him more flustered. Since young, he'd always get embarrassed when he received compliments, and you found it adorable. "When Cloud finally opened up, I found her absolutely lovable. She's just like you, shy but sweet". You turn to Cloud and pat her as she whines, then pick her up and place her on your lap.

He smiles wider, pearly whites coming into view as you continue. "Dare I say, we've become as close as Jake and Cloud".

"We really have," he agrees as Jake climbs onto his lap, tongue hanging out of his mouth. He then touches his nose against Cloud's, and the both of you can't stop the "awws" that come out of your mouths at the heart-melting sight. "It's been so long since we've known each other".

"Yeah it's been like, twelve years?" you splutter with uncertainty, trying to recall when you'd first met him. "We've been friends for so long".

"Yeah, best friends," he adds, smiling softly. "I'm so grateful to have you as my friend".

"Me too," you manage to stutter out. You know you should be happy and satisfied with the fact that you had managed to build up and maintain such a precious friendship for twelve long years, yet your heart yearns for more. To bring your relationship to the next level and let it grow into something more. To be more than just his best friend. However, you know that another girl has his heart now. Even if that wasn't the case, would you even have the courage to tell him how you felt? To get all this off your chest?

You let out an inaudible sigh, knowing that the answer was no. You weren't his, neither was he yours.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

It's been a while since you'd been volunteering at the shelter together with Shotaro. Throughout the course of the volunteer programme, you've both grown a lot closer, and you found yourself catching butterflies more and more around him. However, you don't know what to make of it.

Gosh, why do feelings have to be so confusing? That's the only thought resonating in your mind as you're playing with a beagle in the backyard of the shelter. "Fetch, Bella!" You command, throwing a red ball to the other end of the yard. Bella yelps, jumps up and runs off in search of the ball, before returning it to you. "Good girl!"

Further off, Shotaro is playing with Jake and Cloud, who are playing tug-of-war with a chew toy, while Shotaro seems to be very immersed in watching the mini competition. His pearly whites are in clear view as he laughs, while his eyes, which are riveted on the dogs, are slightly squinted into the eye smile you'd grown to find so familiar and lovable. The sunlight bounced off his hazel brown irises, turning them into pools of honey. Cute, you think to yourself, a smile growing onto your face.

Bella's whining snaps you out of your daze. "Oh sorry!" you exclaim, knowing what she wants. Picking up the red ball, you hurl it to the other end of the yard again, and off Bella goes again, in pursuit of her ball.

"That's the dog Yangyang wants," Shotaro's voice sounds next to you. Turning around, you see him approaching you, both dogs by his side.

"Oh, so this is the dog he kept talking about during lunch yesterday," it dawns on you. Yangyang had been gushing about a dog he was looking to adopt yesterday at lunch, talking about how cute it was and how his parents loved it too. He'd agreed to let all of you play with her from time to time.

"Speak of the devil," you say as you both swivel your head towards Yangyang, who is being led over to the backyard by Xiaojun.

"Hi!" you both heartily greet your close friend with a high-five and fist bump.

"You guys know my cousin?" Xiaojun asks, watching the interaction between the three of you take place in front of him.

"Wait, you're his cousin?" Shotaro asks, surprise taking over his features.

"Didn't I tell you I have a cousin who volunteers at the animal shelter?" Yangyang reminds both of you. "I was referring to him".

"It's a small world," you say, still letting the information sink in.

"Yangyang's in our friend group at school. We're all close friends," Shotaro answers as he gives Yangyang a side hug enthusiastically.

"Yeah, though I think y/n and Shotaro act more like lovers than friends," Yangyang adds, lips twisting into a playful smirk as Xiaojun bursts into laughter.

"We're not! We're just friends!" Both you and Shotaro shout in unison, denying what Yangyang just said about the both of you. Unknowingly, by doing so, both of you shot arrows of dull pain through each other's hearts as you left the other wondering if that was all you both were.

"Sure," Xiaojun replies, rolling his eyes jokingly. He'd grown close enough to you guys to tease you too. "I'll believe that when you stop flirting while doing volunteer duties".

"What did we do?" you groan.

"For starters, when we're training the dogs, I always catch the both of you staring at each other," Xiaojun begins.

"We do that?" Shotaro blurts, a light hue of pink beginning to cover his cheeks. However, you don't notice.

"Yeah you do! They're always staring at each other in school too!" Yangyang pipes up. "Even when our friend group goes out! Like they can't keep their eyes to themselves!"

Xiaojun laughs again. "And then, when we walk the dogs, I always hear you both discussing plans with each other," he continues with Yangyang's loud guffaws in the background. "As if you guys are planning dates". He ensures that he emphasises on the last word, wiggling his bushy eyebrows.

"Best friend dates," you add on to what Xiaojun said. "We've been so close since childhood, of course we'd hang out together more often," you argue as Shotaro nods emphatically.

Yangyang rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Anyway, you can't convince me that there's nothing between you guys". He folded his arms, as if to prove his point, and you watch with mild irritation as Xiaojun does the same.

"He has a girlfriend". Pointing at Shotaro, you remind Yangyang of that fact.

"Doesn't mean much," Yangyang shrugs nonchalantly.

"Whatever. Let them figure things out themselves, okay? You still have adoption papers to sign," Xiaojun says with a dramatic eye roll, clipping the leash to Bella's collar and leading Yangyang away to sign the adoption papers.

As you and Shotaro say goodbye to them, you're both left shaking your heads in disbelief. However, their words make you realise how you've felt towards Shotaro for so long. You make a mental note to set a time to talk to your cousin and ask her for advice on what to do in this confusing situation.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

"Like, I seriously don't know what's wrong with me!" You huff, using your legs to gently push yourself on the swing, while your cousin, Hyojung, listens to your rant patiently. You managed to get her to meet you at the park to talk through your confusing feelings. "I've been friends with Shotaro since childhood, but never in the course of our friendship have I ever felt this way! I'm probably going crazy".

Hyojung listens attentively, grunting sympathetically from time to time. "y/n, I need to ask you something, and I want you to answer honestly".

You sit upright, looking straight at Hyojung, who's on the swing next to you. "Have you ever thought of him as more than a friend? Or wished that you could be something other than friends with him?"

The question catches you off-guard, and your heart skips a beat. "Wha-"

"y/n." Hyojung gazes at you with her classic motherly look and says your name with an equally motherly tone to match. "You can be honest, I won't judge you".

You fall silent again, thinking of all the times that you've felt that pang of jealousy when Shotaro mentioned Miyoung, when you watched them go on dates and wished that you were Miyoung instead, or when you prayed that Miyoung and Shotaro would cancel their dates. When you recall all the times that you wished it was you instead of Miyoung going on a date with him, you know the answer to your question. "Well...yes," you answer, slightly embarrassed as you look down, scratching the back of your neck.

Hyojung nods understandingly. "You're probably crushing on him then," she concludes casually, and your heart almost stops again.

"Wha- I can't- he's dating someone though!" you protest, wide-eyed.

"You can," Hyojung points out, and you freeze momentarily and go back to listening to her. "You can't control feelings, can you?"

You nod slowly, uncertain of the point she's trying to prove.

"What I'm saying is, feeling this way is completely normal, especially since you've known him for so long," she continues, giving her swing a light push again. "Plus, he's really sweet and gentlemanly, it won't be hard to fall for him".

You almost forget that Shotaro was so close to you, he'd met practically your whole family. "I guess," you sigh as your face falls.

"y/n, it's okay to have these feelings," she reassures you gently, squeezing your shoulder comfortingly. "What I'd suggest is to keep them to yourself for now. Observe his next steps carefully. If he shows signs that he's returning your feelings as well, then go ahead and tell him. If not, try your best to move on," she advises, and you slowly nod, taking in all the information.

"Alright, thanks Hyo," you answer and shoot her a grateful smile.

"No problem, y/n. Don't worry about it, the universe has it all planned out," she says, winking at you. "Now, wanna go get milkshakes? We could go to my house to hang out after this".

"Sure!" You'd never say no to a refreshing, sweet milkshake any day.

The universe has it all planned out. Hyojung's wise words echo in your mind as you let them sink in while walking to the milkshake shop with her. If you were meant to be with Shotaro, then it would come to pass. If not, you'd somehow find a way out of this sticky situation you were in.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

As the year progresses, stress begins mounting due to the increasing workload dumped on you by frantic teachers and your new responsibilities as BMA. Moreover, the butterflies inside of you that would go crazy around Shotaro do not serve to help at all, instead adding to your increasing stress and throwing you into confusion.

You're aware that the year isn't getting any easier for your friend either. Ever since he'd been voted in as council president, his responsibilities multiplied faster than any of you had expected. On top of that, his schoolwork and tuition classes had increased (due to his somewhat paranoid parents), and he also had responsibilities as student choreographer in his dance club. Not to mention, he had younger siblings to look after too.

Because you're both aware of the increasing amounts of stress each other face, you try to share each others' burdens, as any best friend would. Shotaro tries his best to help you with subjects that are not exactly your strong suit. You're kinda grateful for the stressful period, as it allows you both to form a stronger bond, whether it was while helping each other out with assignments, complaining about the amount of work you had to do, or listening to each other vent about their stresses. Of course, playing with the animals at the shelter every week also helped you both to unwind, especially Cloud and Jake. Their sweet friendship was really the spitting image of the one between you and Shotaro. They'd be wholesome one moment, and then playfully teasing each other the next. Xiaojun had also kindly allowed you and Shotaro to drop by anytime you felt overly stressed. Not only would he allow you to play with the animals to destress, he would also lend a listening ear as you both vented about the stresses you were facing, and provide encouragement and advice after. Even if he was feeling stressed over finals, he'd assure you both that it was alright to rant to him. You'd both grown closer to him, and you trusted him just like you trusted Hyojung.

However, though all of this was good, it also intensified the feelings you had for Shotaro, as you still struggle to tame the butterflies in your stomach at the way he thanks you when you help him plan a composition, or the palpitations of your heart when he shoots you that adorable smile.

When you couldn't handle the stress and fell sick for three days, he still dropped by your house with food, homework and notes he'd taken for you, although you'd protested against it as you didn't want him to fall sick too. If you were feeling up to it, he'd give you a short tutoring session. Before he left, he'd nag you to take your medicines again.

You were immensely grateful to him, knowing that without his help, you'd be seriously behind the rest of the class. In return, you try to help him with student council matters and babysitting. Whatever you were able to help with, you'd jump in and help him, and he did the same for you too, willingly.

You also knew that his relationship with Miyoung had hit a rocky patch. Though you were admittedly still jealous, you did your best to support him through the trying time. However, what you weren't aware of was the extent of how bad it had become. Shotaro realised that Miyoung never really texted him as much anymore. While he understood that she was busy, he noticed that she was only texting him when she needed something from him, be it help with a subject or extra money. Adding on to that, she'd grown harsher with him. If he'd unintentionally pissed her off, she'd use the harshest of words to scold him. Most of this stuff wasn't anything anyone would scold their friend for, and it wasn't even like he'd made a mistake either. Heck, she'd scold him for being an uncaring and selfish boyfriend just because he said he was stressed out or busy, and would get back to her later. It really bothered him.

In addition to that, he didn't know why his heart would flutter nonstop around you too, or why he'd sometimes find himself getting flustered when you spoke to him, even if you'd just asked him something simple like where both of you should go to eat lunch. It threw him into confusion mixed with a twinge of guilt. After all, he did have a girlfriend.

He didn't want to burden anyone, so he didn't share much about this issue with any of his friends, even you, and tried to keep it to himself. However, it was affecting him quite a bit, and you and your friends are eagle-eyed to spot the changes in his mood.

"Bro, you alright?" Donghyuck asks at your lunch table one day, directing the question to Shotaro, who seems more down than usual. The bags under his eyes seem to have been inked out with a pen, and his eyes have lost their usual cheerful glow. Not to mention, he's clammed up a lot more.

"Yeah," he replies, looking up and managing a half-smile. However, that does little to ease any of your worries. Where was the bright smile all of you loved so much?

"You seem so down lately, Taro," Jaemin points out, concern reflected in his gaze.

"I'm just stressed, that's all," he answers back.

"You know that you can come to us for help anytime, right?" you say, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He nods weakly, smiling half-heartedly again. "I will, thanks," he whispers.

However, the stress soon catches up to him, and soon after you've recovered, he announces in the group chat one day that the flu bug had bitten him too. You owe him one after he took such meticulous care of you, so now, it's your turn to do the same for him.

"Wow, y/n and Shotaro are so close, they share everything. Even germs," Renjun jokes at the table, causing everyone to cackle loudly, when you bring up Shotaro's illness, and the fact that he'll be off school for a week.

Rolling your eyes, you scoff. "Very funny, Jun," you spit, tone laced with sarcasm.

"Seriously though," Donghyuck whines from his end of the table. "When will you tell him how you feel? It's been ages, y/n," he complains.

You feel your heart stop at the question. "W-what do y-you mean how I f-feel?" you stutter, failing to keep your cool.

Yangyang rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically. "Come on, y/n," he groans. "Don't think that we're unaware of your little crush on your childhood best friend".

"What crush?" You continue trying to play it cool, feigning indifference. "It's not like I-"

"Don't lie, y/n," Jaemin cuts you off. "We've known each other since high school started, we can read you like an open book".

"The signs are so obvious, even I can see it," Jeno speaks up. "And we all know I'm the most oblivious here". It was a fact, given that he didn't even know that his past crush, who is now his current girlfriend, liked him until she confessed two years later, despite so many obvious signs from her. "I don't know how Shotaro hasn't picked up on them".

You raise up your hands in surrender, knowing that there was no point in arguing with the friends you'd known for so long. Not as long as you'd known Shotaro, but still long enough to forge a bond thick as thieves. "Okay, okay, fine, I do like him," you admit as you feel your cheeks burn. "But I don't plan to do anything about it. He probably doesn't even like me back". You shrug, trying to feign indifference when in reality, it felt like you'd gotten the tiniest paper cut on your heart. So small, but it stung so much.

Jeno groans and throws his hands up, exasperated. "Oh please, the way he stares at you? Do you really not notice?"

"He has a girlfriend…" you remind them, thinking that they had forgotten.

As soon as you mention his girlfriend, groans and yells of protest go up around your table, starting a mini uproar. "Kim Miyoung? Really?" Renjun scoffs.

"She's been treating him like shit!" Yangyang adds passionately, eyes burning with rage.

"Who in their right mind would scold their boyfriend just for saying he's stressed?" Jaemin continues, brows furrowed in fury.

"I don't think he's even in love with her anymore," Jeno adds. "We've been trying to get him to break up with her, but he's still with her only because he's too scared to break up".

The boys continue to each give a piece of their mind about Miyoung, but Donghyuck remains dead silent throughout. "Um...I'm not sure how to tell you guys this, but...you've gotta see this".

A hush falls over the usually boisterous group at the table, and all five of you crowd expectantly around Donghyuck's phone. He draws up a picture, and as he zooms in, all of you gasp in unison. "Don't tell me that's-"

"That's Miyoung". Donghyuck confirms as he cuts Yangyang off, nodding his head solemnly. "I was passing by, and so happened to witness this".

"Is she- kissing another guy?" Jaemin asks, jaw dropping in disbelief.

"Wow, she was shitty, but I never thought she'd stoop so low and cheat on him," Jeno says scornfully as he rolls his eyes.

"That's low even for her," Renjun agrees.

Meanwhile, you're boiling inside. How could she do such a disgusting thing? You knew that if you'd managed to get with someone as sweet as Shotaro, thoughts of cheating would never, ever cross your mind. "That's not cool," you deadpan, trying to stay calm despite the raging storm inside of your heart now.

"I think he's been so stressed because Miyoung's been manipulating him for so long," Renjun guesses. "Adding on to that, he's got school, student council, dance club, tuition and the animal shelter".

"We've gotta force him to break up with her, before his relationship gets more toxic than it already is," you declare. You're not about to watch your best friend get sucked deeper into a raging whirlpool of a toxic relationship only to be taken advantage of, stepped on, and eventually drowned.

"I don't know how we're gonna do that though…" Jaemin's voice trails off.

"Look, we have a whole week to think about it. Let's use the time wisely," Donghyuck decides as grunts of approval sound all around the table.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

A week later, Shotaro returns to school, visibly much more well-rested. You'd been popping by his house every day throughout the week with his homework and warm food for him, filling him in on what he'd missed if he felt well enough, or simply keeping him company. "Hi guys! I've missed you all," he chirps as soon as he sits down at the table with your usual clique. Soon, your table is back to its usual chaotic state, as everyone seems to be in a good mood. That is, until…

"Shotaro...I'm really sorry but, you need to know this". Donghyuck interrupts the cheerful banter, pulling out his phone.

"Is it something serious…?" Shotaro questions as an uncomfortable silence once again falls over the table, and the atmosphere becomes tenser than a stretched-out rubber band.

"Well, yes," Jeno states, having caught Donghyuck's drift.

Without saying another word, Donghyuck shoves his phone under Shotaro's nose. You catch the way his jaw drops to the ground, and how his hand flies to his mouth. "No way…" he whispers, shock written all over his face.

"Hyuck caught her cheating in 4K," Yangyang says as Donghyuck lowers his phone. "You have to break up with her, Taro. She's gone too far".

"Please take into account all the times she's treated you like shit," Renjun cuts Shotaro off as he's about to protest.

The six of you observe as Shotaro's eyes gloss over with dismay, and you swear you can feel your own heart shattering into pieces as you watch his smile fade, instead being replaced with a frown as the corners of his mouth turn down. "I…I can't believe this," he whispers sadly, blinking a few times. "She wasn't being very nice, but I never thought she'd cheat".

"'Not being very nice' is an understatement at this point". Jeno huffs, indignation written all over his face. "She's been nothing but toxic".

"You have to confront her, Shotaro". Jaemin states, giving him his signature motherly stare. After all, he wasn't the "mom of the group" for no reason.

"I don't know…" Shotaro responds, shifting in his seat uneasily as he turns his eyes down.

"It's the best thing for you to do right now," Jeno adds, trying to coax Shotaro to initiate the breakup, since Miyoung wouldn't willingly do so and knowing him, he probably wouldn't be brave enough to do so.

"But…" his voice trails off slowly.

"Look Taro, it's time you let go of her," you speak up. "It's been so long since you've been trapped in this toxic relationship".

"I…" he stutters again, not sure of what to say. "I...kind of don't want to…"

"And why's that?" You do your best to sound patient, but the first arrow of jealousy shoots through your heart as you speak.

"I'm scared to do so, honestly," he confesses, voice barely a whisper.

"We'll all be here to back you up," Jeno encourages him.

"But still…" Shotaro continues on, still unsure.

“Shotaro… you know we love you, we’re your friends, we’ve been through so many things together, you really think we’d ask you to do this just to mess with you?” Renjun says, tone laced with concern.

“…”

“Taro, listen to me: we’d never want something bad to happen to you, much less stand back for long as we watch how a person drags you down, becoming a shell of who you used to be," you add, hopeful that this would convince him to make the first move to breakup.

"But I'm scared…" he protests weakly.

"Really? That's the best excuse you have?" you scoff, the jealousy you were suppressing so well earlier slowly seeping through the walls of your heart, like water from a leaking dam.

"It's scary, okay? Don't talk like that when you haven't been in a relationship before!" Shotaro replies, clearly a little irritated.

"It's not that hard!" you snap back. Jeno, ever the sensible one, nudges you trying to calm you down, but jealousy had just about completely taken over you by then.

Everyone at the table watches as Shotaro draws in a deep breath. "If what you're saying is true," he begins, “then why haven’t you said anything before, huh?! She told me you’d try this, you know? That you’d get jealous when I didn’t spend as much time with you as I did with her, but that’s not my fault! I’m allowed to have a relationship!” he argues back. "I don't discount the possibility of what you said being true, but I'm not ready to break up now!"

“We did, Taro! We did! So many times, and you brushed it off, or chose to ignore us, when all we wanted was to let you see for yourself how she was hurting you!” you shout back. By now, the entire canteen's eyes are riveted on the scene.

“But she isn’t hurting me! She loves me!” he protests. His tone sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, rather than like he actually believed what he just said. You swore that you saw a glistening layer over his eyes.

“No she doesn’t and you know that!” you fire back, sounding as heated as you feel.

"Well how would you know?" he demands, sounding more annoyed with every word he spoke. "You're not her".

"When the fuck will you stop being so stubborn and actually listen to what we're saying? Gosh, Shotaro. Aren't friends supposed to listen to each other? Then why are you still stuck in your own stupid corner, refusing to see things from our perspective? Who do you think you are, God?" you spit, tone containing traces of venom. By now, every emotion you felt - jealousy, anger, heartache - they swirled together in your heart, creating a tempestuous storm which raged on fiercely.

"Then why don't you believe me when I say I'm scared?" he questions, a stray tear escaping his eyes. "Why don't you understand how I feel?"

"It's. Not. That. Hard!" You're screaming your head off now, with the rest of your friend group standing around, not knowing how to react. "I can't believe you're still so weak, even after so long!"

"I-" Shotaro tries to say, but you hold out a hand.

"Whatever. If you're going to continue being stuck wherever you are, I'm not gonna bother. Go on being the fucking blind coward you are". You declare, slamming your hands onto the table with a thump of finality, before strutting away from the table, huffing as you exit.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

That day, you and Shotaro go separate ways, because he had to meet Miyoung and also partly because of the argument you'd both had earlier. You head straight home, take a shower, and try to get to your homework, but your mind isn't focusing. Instead, it keeps jumping back to the argument you and Shotaro had earlier.

Why was I so upset over it earlier? That's not me.

Realising that you won't be getting anything done, you pick up your phone and send Xiaojun a text.

You: hey, can i come over?

Xiaojun: sure! i'll be a while though, attending to an injured guinea pig

Xiaojun: you can go play with the animals first! the dogs are in the backyard

You: okay

You pack a few things, then leave your house for the shelter. Making a beeline for the backyard, you catch sight of Cloud, who's lying next to a sound-asleep Jake. It seems that she's spotted you too, because her ears perk up and she immediately leaves Jake's side and comes trotting to you. "Hey Cloud," you say, feeling some of the gloom in your heart dissolve as you pick up her favourite toy and begin playing fetch with her. As usual, she's a ball of energy, running after the toy no matter how far or where you threw it, barking as she does so.

After a while, she grows tired, and she settles down on your lap as you sit on the grass and stroke her smooth, white coat. "You came," Xiaojun's voice sounds from beside you as he emerges from the shelter.

"Yeah," you reply lamely.

"Something bothering you?" he asks, voice showing concern as he sits next to you. Jake comes up next to him, and lies down again. Xiaojun begins running his hand over Jake's fur.

"Well...me and Shotaro, we kinda had an argument," you admit.

"What was it about?" Xiaojun asks again.

"My friend group and I were trying to convince him to break up with his girlfriend, since she's been nothing but manipulative and toxic to him. Also, she cheated on him. We have photographic proof," you begin as Xiaojun nods, beckoning you to go on. You show him the photo, and he tuts disapprovingly at the girl, shaking his head.

"But he kept saying that he was afraid to do so, and...I don't know why, but I lost my cool. I said some things I shouldn't have. I called him blind and a coward, and I know that the 'coward' one would hurt him really badly. I regret it now. I don't even know why I did what I did," you sigh, regret beginning to hit you like a ton of bricks. "It's not like me to react this way".

Xiaojun hums in understanding as he purses his lips for the right words. "I get it," he says finally. "I don't know if I'm right, but...maybe you're feeling jealous".

You consider denying it for a few seconds, but decide against it, letting your shoulders sag in defeat. "Okay, maybe I am," you admit.

"So that's why you lashed out when he said he didn't want to break up with Miyoung, besides the fact that you were concerned for him," Xiaojun adds as you nod meekly, knowing that the truth was out. You found that Xiaojun was trustworthy, so you trusted him enough to tell him how you truly felt about Shotaro.

"It was partly the reason, but not the main one," you add. "Oh, how do I get over these stupid feelings?" you groan, more to yourself than to Xiaojun.

Xiaojun nods again. "Sometimes, you just let them pass. Other times, you act on them," he tells you truthfully. "They might be there for a reason. If they're not, you'll find a way," he answers.

He seriously sounded like Hyojung. "Okay," you reply, letting out another heavy sigh. "Do you think I've ruined our friendship?" you ask, petting Cloud dejectedly as she falls asleep.

Xiaojun thinks your question over, before turning back and giving you an answer. "No. Shotaro's very sweet and forgiving. You're his childhood best friend, he'd definitely forgive you, I'm sure".

You nod slowly, processing what Xiaojun is saying.

"But I think you both should apologise to each other," Xiaojun continues on. "Both of you definitely exchanged hurtful remarks, and everyone's feelings were hurt in the process," he says truthfully. "I hope you both can fix things. I don't want to witness your friendship crumble".

You nod. "I hope so too".

Xiaojun gives you a warm, reassuring smile. "I've got stuff to attend to now. My project group wants to call," he informs you. "I might be back later. If I am, I'll say hi to you again," he informs. "I hope you're feeling better.

"I am," you say. It wasn't a lie. Xiaojun's advice had given you some comfort compared to earlier. As he walks away, you fail to see Shotaro come in from the corner of your eye. That is, until Jake perks up, brown eyes gleaming excitedly as he lets out a happy bark, then gets up and rushes towards the gate.

Shotaro must have seen you too, because you watch as he quickly averts his gaze from you, choosing to focus his attention on Jake instead as he showers him with lots of love and pets. A pang of guilt arises in you as the events of the earlier argument replay in your mind. Way to go, snapping at him over something dumb and possibly ruining your friendship.

You're so focused on moping, you don't realise that Shotaro has come to sit next to you. "I'm sorry," his voice suddenly cuts through your thoughts, and you sit up with a start.

You turn, and suddenly you're staring into his brown eyes, which held so much emotion in that moment. "For what?" you ask listlessly, mindlessly stroking Cloud's fur.

"For snapping earlier. I should have kept my cool and controlled my emotions better. I know I said insensitive things," he says quietly, turning his eyes downwards again. Jake seems to have sensed that he wasn't feeling good, because he's now started licking Shotaro's hand comfortingly. "I'm really sorry. I should have thought before I spoke".

"Why are you apologising? I should be the one saying sorry," you blurt out. "I blew up at you first, and -" you pause, scrabbling in your mind for the right words, before finally giving up. "I don't even know why. It's a dumb reason, I know, but it's the truth".

"It's not dumb," Shotaro answers. "We've all been there, haven't we?" A chuckle of amusement escapes him.

"It's still not an excuse," you protest feebly, your last brain cell having long given up on you. "I'm truly sorry for lashing out on you earlier".

Shotaro smiles reassuringly. "I forgive you. I hope you'll forgive me too".

"Of course I will," you reply, squeezing his shoulder to comfort him. "We're still friends, right?"

You wish to slap yourself right then and there, for randomly blurting out every thought that was on your mind.

Shotaro giggles, sending waves through you again. "Of course! Do you really think I'd throw twelve years' worth of friendship away like that?" he asks.

You smile, knowing that you could finally stop worrying about what would become of you and Shotaro's friendship. Just then, you catch sight of his tear-streaked cheeks, and the fact that his eyes are slightly red and swollen. "Did something happen?" you inquire, genuinely concerned for Shotaro now as your brows knit together in concern. "You can tell me anything," you reassure him. You'd gone from insulting him a few hours ago to comforting him when bad stuff happened.

Shotaro's face falls. "About that..I broke up with her". He quietly says.

Your eyes widen in interest. "You did? She initiated it?"

He shakes his head. "No. I did".

You place an arm around him in silent comfort, preparing to listen to his story. "I thought about what the friend group said today at recess, and decided that yes, as much as I was scared, I did have to end the toxic relationship. So I showed her the picture Donghyuck took as proof, and let her know that I felt disrespected that she'd gone and cheated on me, instead of telling me that she had feelings for someone else so that we could work things out together, or have a closure".

Nodding, you urge him to go on. "I was just hoping for an apology from her so that we could end things peacefully, but she slapped me instead".

"Ayo what-" at his statement, your jaw drops, and your mouth is so wide open that a cow could probably fall into it. That explained the faint purple bruise on his cheek. You had expected her to get angry, but to slap him? Was she insane?

"She said that it was my fault that we didn't work out and-" his eyes swim with tears again as he pauses, and you feel your own eyes water at the heart-wrenching sight. Choking on a sob, he continues. "She said that she should have known that I wasn't good enough for her". Both dogs seem to pick up on the change in mood, and immediately snuggle closer to him, as if trying to cheer him up as he pets them gratefully.

Hearing this, your blood begins boiling. "Not good enough for her?"

"She said that I was too ugly for her. That I was too sensitive. That she would have liked me better if I was tougher - and I quote - because she wouldn't want to date a pussy," he sniffs, feeling himself break down again. "She also said I was selfish for all the times I replied to her late because I was busy. That I didn't put any effort into the relationship".

"Liar," you spit, voice dripping with venom. "Who is she to speak?" Your volume increases in a crescendo as your voice rises to fever-pitch. Unable to hold in your fury, you begin swearing your head off while ranting about Miyoung, spewing profanities a mile per minute. By now, both dogs are also barking their heads off, as if angry with Miyoung as well.

Shotaro has calmed down a little, and is now looking at you, unsure of whether to stop you or let you go on raging like a bull. "Um...y/n...please calm down," he says softly, tapping on your shoulder.

You stop midway through the freestyle diss track you were on, realising you'd said some things you probably shouldn't have said. (Then again, who holds back when defending their best friend?)

Shotaro sighs, eyes still glistening with tears. "It's just...what if she was right? What if I was less selfish? What if I was tougher? What if I-"

"I'm stopping you right there!" You cut him off as you gently nudge him, unable to watch him keep blaming himself for the failure of the relationship. "It's not you, you know. It's her".

He looks you in the eye for the first time throughout the conversation. "They say it takes two hands to clap, though".

"Look, if she can't accept you for who you are, that's her fault". You state your point clearly, gazing at him in a firm yet comforting manner. "And she took advantage of you, didn't she? She manipulated you to get what she wanted!"

Shotaro nods, knowing that what you said was true.

"And you were the one always checking in on her, listening to her rant. Not once did she care to ask how you were doing. She'd just go straight on and rant about her problems," you continue as more of her flaws continue coming to your mind.

"Yeah…" Shotaro muses.

"Weren't you the one who asked her out most of the time? What does she mean by 'you didn't put in effort'? And not to mention, she was the one who cheated, not you. You were loyal even to the end. The same can't be said about her," you add, still in a huff over what she had done to your friend. Jake and Cloud cuddle up next to Shotaro as he pets the dogs.

"That's true I guess…" Shotaro looks away again, contemplating what you just said.

"How did you hold on to such a toxic relationship for so long?" you question Shotaro, narrowing your eyes as you silently wonder how he was still able to love someone like her.

"I guess I was just scared of breaking it off. She was really nice at first, and we were truly in love with each other," he begins, turning his eyes downwards again. "But over the course of our relationship I realised that she was becoming more and more manipulative, and I found interacting with her becoming extremely draining. I think at that point, I fell out of love with her, but I still stuck around, knowing that I didn't have the courage to cut off the relationship".

You nod encouragingly, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm glad you found it in the end".

"Yeah, I feel so much more relieved after ending the relationship, to be honest," he admits, much calmer than he was before. "I feel so dumb for crying over this now," he adds with a small laugh.

"No," you shake your head. "Don't feel that way. She said stuff that really stung". You knew that she'd attacked his insecurities and guilt-tripped him during the confrontation, so he would no doubt be feeling very hurt about it. "Besides, there were feelings attached for a while, especially at the beginning of the relationship".

Shotaro hums, knowing that that was true.

"And don't change a thing about yourself. You're great the way you are," you encourage him, smiling at him reassuringly as you put a hand on his shoulder.

"Really?" he looks at you, expression betraying his disbelief.

"Of course! If not, you wouldn't be my best friend!" you reply, smacking him playfully as he begins laughing.

Unbeknownst to you, Xiaojun watches the scene from afar, a smile on his face, feeling happy that the storm clouds had cleared and your friendship was restored.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

The rest of the week progresses as if the argument didn't happen at all, and Shotaro and you are back to being the best of friends. Saturday arrives, and after a quick drink of a vanilla latte the both of you are ready to head to the shelter for another day of volunteering. Today, there seems to be less duties than usual, and both of you have about two hours left to train the dogs and play with them.

You enter the Dog Dorm, and both your eyes light up immediately as soon as Jake and Cloud run over.

You've forged a strong bond with these two dogs, and it is evident from the way they follow you around like the lamb in the nursery rhyme. When you both leave, Jake's whimpers and whines would tug at your heartstrings as he tried to follow both of you out, while Cloud would just gaze at both of you, sadness evident in her large puppy eyes.

"They're so cute," you say as Cloud is sitting in your lap as you pat Jake. "I want one of them".

"Me too," Shotaro says, reaching over to feed Cloud a treat. "I miss having a dog around the house".

"Why don't you adopt them then?" Xiaojun asks as he enters the area with a golden retriever, who'd just returned from a grooming session. "They'd suit you".

"I've discussed it with my parents, actually," Shotaro speaks first as Jake runs up to Xiaojun. "They said that Jake sounds like a really sweet dog, and that they'd be open to the idea of adopting him".

"I have yet to talk to my parents, but I believe they'd be alright with adopting Cloud," you mention after Shotaro. "Besides, Pebble gets along with dogs well". You smile at the thought of your fluffy, but slightly chonky, grey cat you keep at home.

"That's great!" Xiaojun enthuses, unable to hide his happy smile as he . "Jake and Cloud do need forever homes, but they can't be separated for too long, so we thought you'd both be great candidates for potential owners since you're both next door neighbours. They've been best friends since they were puppies," he explains. "Like the both of you, childhood best friends".

You both laugh at the statement, but neither of you pick up on the hints of bitterness in both of your laughs. Best friends? Why did your relationship have to stay like that?

Was that all both of you would ever be?

Little did you know, Xiaojun had picked up on it as he went on talking, informing you about the adoption process, which involved paperwork and a house visit.

As he had hoped, you'd both convinced your families to let you adopt the dogs. Sending the dogs off with you both, he silently prayed that your new pets would help you both get closer than you already were.

And they did.

You'd both meet up even more frequently now to let the dogs play with each other. Today, he’s at your house, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate as Cloud, Jake and Pebble chase each other around the house.

"Your cat is really friendly with dogs," he comments as he watches Pebble play wrestle Cloud to the ground.

"Yeah, she's used to them," you reply. "Actually, maybe more than that," you add with a laugh as Pebble allows Jake to gently bite one of her ears, conceding defeat.

"Oh yeah, I trained Jake to do this," Shotaro says, perking up as he remembers.

"Hmm? What is it?" Your curiosity is piqued as Shotaro calls Jake over.

You watch as Shotaro holds out his fingers in a gun position in front of Jake. "Bang!" he says, flicking his hand upwards as if he'd just shot Jake. The Samoyed falls over with his eyes shut as he remains motionless. His mouth is slightly open with his tongue lolling out, for an even more realistic effect, and you can't help but laugh at the sight.

"Jake learns so well!" You marvel as the pup gets back up, wagging his tail excitedly as he eyed the treats in Shotaro's hand. Cloud barks, as if egging Jake on and telling him he did a great job as Shotaro feeds the treats to both dogs.

"It took him a while to learn, but he got it in the end," Shotaro tells you. "He does learn quite fast".

"Faster than you," you reply, taking the chance to roast Shotaro.

"Hey!" he says with a small pout, obviously caught off-guard by your sudden roast. However, he can't resist the urge to laugh as well when your own contagious laughter fills the room. As such, that afternoon ends with laughter and smiles.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

"Oh no," Yangyang whines, dejectedly tossing his pen onto the floor. It clatters as he runs his fingers through his hair in frustration and turns to the paper again. "I still don't understand this!"

You're all at Shotaro's house for your weekly study session together. Yes, the whole group only met together for study sessions and occasional sleepovers on Fridays, but you had the privilege of going over every day. Childhood best friend and neighbour privileges.

"Exams are fast approaching, and then soon...we'll be in our final year," Renjun comments, glancing up from the history textbook he'd been studying. "Time really flies".

"Yeah���I hope we'll all do well," Jaemin answers, not looking up from his English notebook. "We've all worked hard".

"We will," Shotaro adds with certainty. "Even if it's not up to our expectations, we'll all still do well".

"As long as we've done our best, we can be proud of ourselves," Jeno reminds all of you. "Don't beat yourself up. What's more important is that you learn from your mistakes".

"Thanks for the advice, Jeno," Yangyang states as he picks up his pen and sighs again. "But I still really need help with this part".

"I'll help, " Jeno responds, taking the book from Yangyang and studying the question.

You're stuck in about the same position as Yangyang as you're left gawking at your history paper as if it were written in Greek. However, unlike the boy, you didn't voice your concerns. You continued to stare at the page, trying to process the question. However, the words seemed to dance around the page, and before you know it, you're zoning out.

"Need help?" You snap out of your daze as Shotaro's soft voice rings next to your ear, and his hand appears on your shoulder.

"Yeah...I just can't seem to understand this source," you say, pointing out one of the questions to Shotaro.

"Oh! I understand it, I finished this yesterday," he says, grinning excitedly as he finishes studying the question. "I'll help you with it!"

"Thanks…" you try your best to sound cheerful and energetic, although the pressure weighing down on your heart prevents you from actually feeling like it. You were sure that the others also felt stressed, but they weren't saying anything, so you shouldn't either.

"...y/n? y/n? Earth to y/n…?" A hand waves in front of your face, and you're brought back to reality.

"Ah...sorry, I spaced out," you admit, a blush creeping across your cheeks. Whether it was from embarrassment or something else, you didn't know. Maybe both.

Shotaro's brows knit together. "Are you anxious?" he asks, knowing that you tend to space out when you're anxious. "Let's go, we can talk it out".

He excuses the both of you and leads you to the kitchen. After pouring you a glass of water, he sits you down at his kitchen table. "How are you feeling?" he asks, putting the jug back.

You shake your head as your heart rate seems to double, your breaths become faster and shallower, tears threatening to fall. "I...I…" you stutter, brain unable to form sentences and words at the moment.

Shotaro picks up on your distress, and sweeps you into a hug. You don't resist, instead reciprocating it. "Let it all out. I know you've been stressed," he tells you as your tears fall onto his shoulder. You sniffle quietly, the floodgates opening as you stay enclosed in his embrace for a few minutes, letting the tears freely flow.

"I- I'm stressed," you admit. "The exams are coming soon…and what's more, all the new responsibilities of the student council, band…"

He grunts sympathetically, lips pursed as he searches for the right words.

"What if I fail and get retained? I won't be able to live that down," you sniffle as you recall the dreadful sense of failure after you didn't do well in your exams last year.

All is silent for a moment as Shotaro thinks of his next words. "You won't. You're bright and smart, and you've worked super hard. Besides, no matter what the outcome, I'll always be here for you," he mumbles, unsure of whether what he is saying is helpful.

You look up at him. "Really?"

"Yes, really," he replies, giving you a warm smile, the smile that always brought you comfort, yet made you get a nervous rush at the same time. It's at this moment that you both realise you've probably been hugging a little too long, and you abruptly pull out of each others' hold.

Wish it lasted longer.

"Thank you so much," you whisper, feeling a lot less anxious than you were a few minutes ago.

"Glad I could help," he answers as he rubs your back comfortingly. "When exams are over, we'll do what we used to do as kids and have sleepovers, just you and me, okay? Of course, we'll also have one with the others, but I'd like to just hang out with you first".

"I'd love that," you nod. "Thank you, Taro. I love you".

As soon as the words leave your mouth, you're stunned by your unexpected confession. Oh no! What an idiot, he's gonna think you're weird now! You think, a small wave of panic washing over your mind again.

A light blush forms on Shotaro's cheeks as his mouth forms a stunned "o". "You mean it-?" he asks, unable to believe his ears.

"I- of course I do! But platonically! Platonically!" Painful as it was to say, you still had to add the fact that you meant it platonically and not romantically.

It feels as if someone lightly cut your heart with a small shard of glass when his giggles reach your ears. "I love you too," he replies. "Platonically". The last word is so soft, you barely hear it.

"Woi! Are you both done?" an impatient shout and a few knocks sounds outside the door. "You've both been gone so long!" Renjun's voice continues.

A panicked look simultaneously crosses your faces as Shotaro rushes to open the door and usher you out. "Yes, yes! We're ready!" he exclaims, dragging you out of the room

Oh, how I wish I wasn't such a chicken and told him I meant it in some other way.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

"It's finished!"

"We did it!"

Cheerful shouts and screams echo through the corridor of the level as students celebrate the end of their exams, and of course you and Shotaro just had to join the impromptu celebrations as well. "We did it, Taro!" you enthusiastically shout, slinging an arm around his shoulder as you both skip out of the classroom.

"Finally! Good job, y/n," his melodious laugh finally sounds out again after so long, due to him feeling too stressed to be happy. Relief washed over your heart as you saw an adorable grin appear on his face, complete with his signature eye smile. He gives you a high-five to congratulate you.

"The exams were quite alright, actually," you say to Shotaro as he bobs his head up and down in agreement with you.

"They weren't that bad. The only subject I'm kinda worried about is Biology, but it wasn't too hard," he agrees. "Our mugging sure paid off!" he adds, excited that his hard work had paid off.

"Now that it's over, we should celebrate together!" you suggest, excitement still bubbling out of you. "We should hang out!"

Shotaro's eyes sparkle at your suggestion. "We should! Oh yeah, I said that after exams, we'd have a sleepover together," he reminds you.

"Right, you did," you recall. "So when?"

"Tonight? 7 pm?" he suggests. "You alright with that?"

You think for a few seconds before replying. "Should be. If I can't make it, I'll text you," you add.

He nods, still grinning so brightly, he could rival the sun. "Alright then, I'll see you later! You can bring Cloud and Pebble if you want".

True to your word, you arrive at his house at 7 pm sharp. He appears at the door as soon as you show up at his doorstep. "Y/n!" he greets cheerfully, seemingly delighted that you'd get to have a sleepover with him again after forever.

"Taro!" You return his greeting before pulling him in for a hug.

Soon, you’re both in the comfort of his room, sitting on the carpet on his floor. “So…what do you wanna do?” he asks, uncertain. “We could watch Netflix, or we could play a game, or we could do something else…”

“Let’s play Mario Kart. I’ll beat your high score this time,” you smirk, confident that this time you’d win. The last time you both played, it didn’t go well for you, with you losing terribly and Shotaro celebrating his victory in front of you.

“It’s on”. Shotaro narrows his eyes into slits and stares at you for a while before moving to set up the game consoles. Soon, you're engaged in an intense battle of Mario Kart together, with both of you trying to distract each other to win the game. Meanwhile, Jake and Cloud watch at the side, barking. It’s a close fight, but just at the end, you overtake him and win by one second.

“Hey! You cheated!” Shotaro protests. He was referring to the way you’d made so many weird noises and faces in front of him just to distract him - which apparently was successful.

“Did not,” you say in response. “You tried distracting me too!”

“But I didn’t even do that as much as you!” he argues.

You roll your eyes and sigh dramatically. “I still won, fair and square”.

Sighing, he shakes his head and gets up, tackling you to the ground. You panic a little as you’re unable to overpower him, as he towers over you with his height.

At that moment, an idea strikes you. There was one strategy that you hadn't used against Shotaro since your childhood. But you remember that it was very effective, with him surrendering within minutes. You're unsure if it will work again, but you try anyway, reaching up with your free hand to poke his side lightly. You can't stop the smirk that forms on your face as he withdraws and lets out a small squeak.

You grin the most evil grin you've ever grinned in your life, and soon the tables have turned, with him desperately trying to squirm away from you and block your attacks while you simply laugh at his predicament, continuing to tickle him. The heart-melting smile you'd always loved appears on his face, his eyes lighting up as laughter and occasional squeals pour out of him. You soon find yourself laughing with him as you watch him smile and laugh brighter than a ray of sunshine while you chase him.

"y/n stop!" he repeatedly begs in between laughs. He tries to tickle you back, which fails since you're not ticklish.

"No!" you resolutely declare, and keep up the attack. That is, until a loud thump sounds and Shotaro lets out an "ouch", prompting you to stop.

"Oh my goodness, are you alright?" you ask him repeatedly as you check on him. While struggling to escape from you, he'd rolled all the way to where his study table was and hit his head on the leg of the table. "I'm so sorry, Taro," you apologise, feeling genuinely concerned for him.

He sits up, rubbing his head, still laughing. "It's alright, y/n. That was actually kinda funny," he giggles. It seemed as if his smile had never faded by the slightest bit.

Seeing that he's alright, you let out a sigh of relief, and before you know it laughter fills the room as you both share a laugh over what had just happened. Looking into your eyes, in that moment, Shotaro could feel something warm and fuzzy bubbling up inside of his heart - maybe even something fluttering inside of him. Memories of the times you'd had together run through his mind, almost as if he was reliving them. The first time you'd met, the first playdate you'd both had, the smiles of elation shared during middle school graduation. The countless laughs shared together, the times you'd cried with each other, the times you'd helped each other through school while complaining together. You were the one who'd been there with him, come hell or high water, since childhood. At that moment, he realises that you're truly his other half. Not someone like Kim Miyoung, who'd just used him like her puppet, manipulating him for her own purposes and trampling on his feelings. He realises that the fluttering in his heart, the giddy feeling, the blush that would find its way to his cheeks whenever he was around you - there was a reason why he felt all of those.

He knew that you were just the right one for him. But what was stopping him? On one hand, he desired to spill all his feelings to you. To hold on to that small sliver of hope he had that'd you'd return his feelings, let you know how he realised he felt about you, even if he'd just ended a relationship gone wrong. Though technically, it had ended long ago, with the hell she'd put him through.

On the other hand, something stopped him. What was it? He couldn't pinpoint it either. All he knew was that the right time was not now. Besides, his freshly wounded heart wasn't ready for another relationship. Yet.

He sighs inwardly. Why are feelings so complicated? He questions. If only it were simpler. Maybe I'd have an easier time...

"Whatever. Good game," your voice permeates his thoughts and brings him back to reality. "What do you wanna do now?"

"We could watch Netflix," he suggests, turning on the TV. "There's this new show I wanna watch".

Soon, you're both engaged in the movie. Jake, Cloud and Pebble have long fallen asleep, sharing the big dog bed. You don't know when you realise, but at some point your head ends up resting on his shoulder. His arm is slung around your shoulders, and you're aware of his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. You look up and you're met with the sight of him focused on the screen, his eye smile in full view as he focuses on the scene playing in front of you. The scent of his sakura shampoo wafts into your nose.

Is this really what just friends do? You question internally. Before you know it, you've drifted into dreamland.

"Every day...I fall for you harder," Shotaro confesses quietly as he caresses your hair gently. His whisper is snatched away by the gentle night wind as it goes by unheard by you, as you're sound asleep.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

“Fetch!” Shotaro’s voice resonates in the evening air as he hurls the rubber ball some distance away. All three animals jump up and race after the ball. To your amusement, Pebble comes running back with the ball in her mouth, the other two animals hot on her heels.

“Looks like letting Pebble befriend dogs was a good choice,” you remark, taking the ball and patting Pebble on the head. “This is the most active she’s been!” Both of you laugh, knowing that before both dogs were adopted by you and Shotaro, Pebble had spent most of her days lazing around in the house. When she wasn’t eating, she was either sitting or sleeping.

A few more rounds of fetch later, when everyone is tired out, all of you find a big tree to sit down under and rest. That’s when Shotaro gets the idea of showing you the item that the dance club is going to perform for the upcoming New Year’s Countdown celebration, that is held yearly by the town council, featuring performances from residents, young and old alike. The school had sent the dance club and the symphonic band to perform, so the both of you would be performing. Earlier that day at the shelter, Xiaojun had revealed that he had been chosen to emcee for the celebration.

“And…that’s it!” Shotaro does the ending pose as you burst into applause. He then walks off, smiling shyly as he makes his way back to sit beside you under the tree. “That’s about it,” he says.

“That was so good, Taro! I can’t wait to see the dance club’s performance!” Even after he was done, you were still marvelling over the complexity of the routine, which stood out even more due to his beautiful technique. You were blown away by the fact that your friend had helped to choreograph such a difficult piece, and was also able to pull it off perfectly.

“Thanks! I can’t wait for the symphonic band’s performance as well. Especially your piccolo solo, I loved it so much,” he comments as your face heats up a little.

“Thanks, I’ll do my best!” you say, looking up at him and doing the “fighting” gesture.

“The year is ending so fast, don’t you think?” Shotaro asks, looking up. Ahead, the sky is painted with pinks, purples and oranges of every hue, a sight for sore eyes indeed. Yet, you find your eyes being drawn to your best friend.

“It is,” you say. “Before you know it, we’ll be in our final year of high school,” you answer, the reality of everything seeping through like blood on a white garment.

“I hope that the friend group will stay together, I really love everyone there,” Shotaro admits, eyes glistening a little as the sad possibility of the friend group separating runs through his mind. “We’re all planning to study different college courses and we might not see each other anymore”.

“Nah, I bet Hyuck will initiate a meetup as soon as he gets the chance,” you say. Most of the meetups the friend group had had been planned by Donghyuck, being the extrovert he was. If there was any hope for the friend group to stay together, it would be Donghyuck. “However busy he is, he’ll definitely plan something. Mark my words”.

“Yeah, he will,” Shotaro finally lets out a sigh of relief. “At least there’s still hope for the group to meet up again. “I know I’ll definitely see you around, though”. He turns to you, hope reflecting in his gaze.

“We’re neighbours, after all. And plus, Cloud, Jake and Pebble are gonna wanna see each other,” you reply honestly, giving Cloud a sip from a water bottle. You wouldn’t admit this to him out loud, but you’d feel like a part of you would be gone if you both stopped meeting up.

“I’m glad I’ll still see you around,” he says as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. You subconsciously return the hug, relaxing in his grip. Sure, the hug felt a little longer than those you’d usually give each other, but neither of you complained, staying in each other’s hold until it was time to go home.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

Time continues to fly by, and soon the New Year’s Countdown has arrived. The symphonic band had just delivered their performance and received a standing ovation, much to your pleasant surprise. You, Renjun and Donghyuck return to the picnic mat that you and your friends had laid out on the grass as Xiaojun returns to the stage.

“That was an outstanding performance by NCIT Symphonic Band! Next, we have NCIT Dance Club, bringing us a piece titled ‘New Beginnings’. Let’s put our hands together to welcome them!” he recites off his cue cards, before walking off again as the lights dim.

The lights come on again, revealing the dancers on stage in their starting positions. Though there are so many of them, your eyes immediately locate Shotaro, standing at the left side of the formation. “Shotaro! Jaemin! Jeno! Yangyang!” you and your friends cheer as loudly as you can for your friends who are onstage, so much that you thought your lungs would explode. You only quiet down when the dancers start. Though your other three friends were amazing, for some reason, your eyes keep being drawn to Shotaro as he dances with both the grace of a swan and the power of a deer. The three of you are unable to hold back your cheers when the other dancers move to the side of the stage, leaving Shotaro onstage as he begins his solo, executing his moves cleanly as he exudes confidence and charisma. You’re so enchanted by his every move that you’re positive that you didn’t breathe for the entire solo.

All too soon, his performance draws to a close, and the audience gives the dancers a thunderous round of applause. “Yo y/n, my parents are looking for us. We’ll be back!” Renjun informs as he and Donghyuck get up and leave the mat.

“Alright, see you later!” you answer, thinking nothing about it.

A few minutes later, Shotaro arrives. “You guys were amazing!” you immediately gush as he sits down beside you. “Your solo was amazing!”

“Thank you,” he says quietly, happiness radiating off his smile. In that instant, you feel your heart flutter again.

That’s when you register that Yangyang, Jeno and Jaemin are nowhere to be seen. “Where are the others?” you ask Shotaro.

He shrugs. “Don’t know. Said they’ll join us soon though”.

“Alright then,” you answer and turn back to face the stage.

The programme progresses, but you’re barely focusing on it. For some reason, three words kept echoing in your mind, distracting you from the performances in front of you. Words that you wanted to say to Shotaro so badly. They were always hanging off the tip of your tongue, yet you sorely lacked the courage to say them to him. What if I ruin what we already have? This thought haunted you like a monster that lurked in the depths of your mind. It only appeared whenever you had made up your mind to tell him how you felt, effectively breaking down all the confidence and composure you'd spent days, even weeks, building up.

Plus, next year will be the final year in high school for both of you, meaning a heavier workload as teachers scramble to arm students with knowledge for the final exams, hoping for them to get into their dream universities. You didn't know if you both could commit to a relationship now, considering the workload to come. So much to think about…

"y/n? You've been quiet, you alright?" Shotaro's soft, sweet voice brings you back to the real world.

Shaking your head gently to bring yourself out of your daze, you turn to him and whisper, "I'm fine, I was just thinking about something". He then nods and turns back to the stage where the emcees are waiting for the final countdown.

"y/n...there's actually something I want to tell you". Shotaro speaks up from next to you.

"Hmm?" you hum, still distracted by your train of thought.

"I...I really like you. W-wait, nevermind, scratch that, l-love you. Like, non platonically love you”.

Your heart skips a beat, and your head snaps in his direction. Your eyes behold the sight of a very flustered Shotaro, his cheeks tinted a shade of pink. "Wait, can you repeat that?" You reckon that your eyes must be as wide as grapefruits, but you don't care.

"I love you," he repeats, with more confidence this time. "It took so long for me to realise. But even after I did, I was so afraid to tell you, y/n".

You look down, trying to hide the blush creeping up your own cheeks as well.

"I didn't realise how I felt towards you. But when we spent more time together through volunteering, studying together and just hanging out, that's when I realised that I felt more than just platonic attraction to you. I was so afraid to confess, because I always feared ruining the many years of pure friendship we've had". Shotaro rambles on like a bullet train, mumbling so fast you can barely hear him. "And I was afraid of getting my heart broken again…" he adds, remembering the pain of his first ever relationship, which ended in lots of tears and pain for him.

"Shotaro…" your voice trails off.

"It's fine if you don't feel the same way towards me, y/n. I just wanted to get my feelings off my chest. Thanks for hearing me out". He says, before looking away from you slightly and blinking a couple of times.

"No, Shotaro, hear me out". After his brave confession, it was your turn to tell him how you felt too. "I love you too".

He turns back to you quickly, eyes holding the tiniest hint of hope. "I've had a growing crush on you since school reopened after the holidays, but I didn't dare to tell you how I felt," you chuckle, realising that you both were stuck in the same situation. "I feared destroying our friendship too".

"So...we're in the same boat, huh". He responds after a silence that seemed to last for eternity.

"Yeah…" you look down, lost for more words. "So now that we know how we feel towards each other...do you wanna...perhaps give things a try?" you blurt out, before facepalming mentally.

"But...we're going to be preparing for our finals next year, and there'll be so much more to do. We'll be focusing on our studies, I'm not sure if we'll have time…" Shotaro trailed off, an uncertain tone lacing his words.

You silently mull over what Shotaro said, knowing that you were thinking of the same thing, and that he had a point. Yet, in your heart, the tiniest voice was nudging you to just give it a try. It was as if some angel was reassuring you that the heavens would take care of it, and that destiny was now taking its due course. "Like someone wise once said, it's much easier when you've got someone by your side. Sure, we might be busier than ever, but we'll have each other, right?" you speak up, looking up at him hopefully. "We've made it since childhood as the closest of friends through thick and thin, I'm sure we can go further as lovers as well".

Shotaro giggles hearing his own words being quoted to him. "Then let's go for it". He agrees, turning back to look at you. "I believe we can do it if we try. So...be mine?" He gazes at you, eyes glimmering with hope.

You smile wider than ever, so wide that you could probably eat a whole banana sideways in one bite. "I'd love to," you respond.

His eyes adorably form crescent moons again. "May I…?"

You already know what he wants. "Yes, you may".

With that, his hand travels to the back of your head, and he pulls you in for a sweet kiss as a spectacular display of fireworks makes its way onto the star-studded night sky, marking the start of a new year, which would mean new responsibilities for the both of you. But none of you held fear in your hearts, only pure love for each other, because for you and Shotaro, you knew you'd have each other as the fireworks also marked a new chapter of your journey together, this time as something more than friends.

»»————-----------------------　♡　-----------------------————-««

if you made it all the way here, thank you so much! i hope you enjoyed it, have a nice day :D

tagging: @bangchan-fairy @moonsclover

[bonnymori]

𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲

Word count: 2760+ (i'll try to keep bigger lengths such as this one!)

Synopsis: You meet a new classmate who's working along Nanami, you think he's fun to be around, it stands the same to him about you. Later, feelings unravel.

Contents/Warnings: (1) Itadori Yuuji x gn!reader (2) FLUFF, TONS OF FLUFF - and some comfort (3) With the small participation of... Ino Takuma!! I really like him too, that's why <33333 (4) This is pretty platonic, but also not? (5) Ending turned sorta cliché... but I liked it u.u

A/N: This boy made me run rampant... to fhe point it's not single attraction anymore I just wish him happiness (smh if only my parents knew...) also next post will be Toji's fic pt. 2! Y'all see the first part is almost reaching 100 kudos????? I'M SO HAPPY EHSODJWKDKSJD- thanks for all the new followers and the support!! <33

Ever since his fake death, Itadori has been training alone with the help of Gojo - and now, he works along a freshly new face, who belongs to a senior, founds out ex-salaryman named Nanami Kento. He's far a thousand times more strict than Gojo. Itadori doesn't really likes the change, because Nanami is a person he can't get along. This whole guy's appearance scream "work 4 life"; he has proved different, now he screams "work is shit - but I gotta do it because others won't".

They've just finished cleansing the outside of a movie theater off a few curses, when Itadori hears shouting from far behind them. Two figures approach, waving excessively. He quickly picks on Nanami's tired sigh beside him.

"Nanami! We figured out you'd be here! Our mission has been finished and we wanted to catch up to have lunch together!" A male clad in a full black outfit shouts, he has brown hair and a beanie on top of his head, looking quite content.

The other person simply trots next to him in silence, approaching with a friendly smile. They notice Itadori faster than the male, smile widening and quickly waving hello, suddenly eager to reach up to them. The gesture makes the pink haired boy perk up, curious to why the other person looked so joyful. His question is easily answered, when they tug on the man's sleeve and motion to him.

"Ino, we have a third buddy!" The dude looks at him with widened eyes. "So nice to meet you, I'm Y/N L/N! It's great to see new faces around!"

Itadori smiles at your energy, knowing already he would click with you very well.

"I'm Ino Takuma, sorry for not noticing you before! Your uniform looks cool." Itadori exchanges a few compliments with Ino, before the man turns to talk with Nanami, leaving him and you together.

"Yes! I'm Sukuna's vessel, Itadori Yuuji-desu! My type of woman is Jenn-"

You turn to him. "So, are you a first year?"

"Geh? Weren't you dead though?!"

"I was!- I am!- Please keep secret."

"Okay!"

"Ahem." Nanami coughs, drawing attention. "I requested you two to not come after me today. Itadori here is the reason why."

"That's no problem, we're very capable of keeping secrets." You threw your arm over Itadori's shoulder, him nodding along with you.

"Oh really, then remember to keep quiet about it. I'll let this slide." The group of students nervously at Nanami's intimidating tone. "But, I'll get to have my break alone."

"Gah!" Ino exclaimed, watching Nanami walk away; he also left the responsability of taking care of Itadori for you two, leaving without a word. "It really had to be today, when Nanami would take us to his favorite bakery..."

"Crybaby." You teased. "Itadori here can't go outside where anyone can see him, he's dead. So, we were to order food either way because he shouldn't be left out."

"Augh okay, it would be unfair."

"So, where are you staying Itadori?"

"At Gojo's state!"

"Whoa, I've never been there before." Ino commented, waiting as you sent a message to Ijichi to pick them up.

"He's my teacher, a very cool one!"

"I imagine! Ooookay, once we get there I'll get the food."

Itadori felt as his chest would burst of excitement, finally there was people around him again, he couldn't be less happy about it.

"Sharing is caring!"

Itadori laughed as you wrestled with Takuma for some fries, netflix long forgotten in the background, as watching the banter was way more entertaining. Most of the time, Ino rambled a lot about Nanami, while he rambled a lot about Gojo. The guy even showed him the cool scar under his beanie. He felt kinda upset after explaining the exchange was just temporary, his stay under Nanami's wing wasn't decisive, and therefore, he was more like a classmate than a partner.

Itadori also learned a lot about you. He was surprised to find out that you, although energetic, was the one to speak the lesser in conversations. His surprisement grew even bigger when you told him you're a exchange student from Kyoto, arriving Tokyo about the same month as him - thankfully, you were to say for good.

Conversations flowed easily in the air, until a voice from the doorway barged in.

"Yuuji-kun! Don't forget about your lessons! Hi kids! Bye kids!" Gojo said playfully, throwing the familiar punching bear to Itadori before leaving.

"What's this thing?" Ino asked.

"It's to help me control my cursed energy. So while I watch the movies, if I don't charge it with cursed energy it punches me square in the face. I thought I had mastered this thing already, but he insist I keep training with it." Itadori grumbles.

"At least it's cute." You commented, taking a sip of your drink.

"Until it punches you in your face without warning!" The pink haired boy barks.

The talks died down, the three of you eating quietly when another movie is played on the screen. Itadori didn't bother reading the title, it was a plain one about a zombie apocalypse that got him extremely bored, yet he kept watching still so the plushie didn't punch him in the face again; he's been keeping a record since all his last cursed energy training lessons were a sucess to this day. When his head started nodding and eyelids dropping Itadori can't remember well, about fourty five minutes of movie perhaps? Make it fifty, the second slumber took over his body completely.

When he awoke once again, it was near midnight, the clock on the wall told him so. He also noticed a soft and warm surface supporting his head, figures, it's your shoulder he's resting into, he feels an arm around his own shoulders and your cheek placed upon his hair.

"Hey, it's late." You immediately notices he's awake, calling out softly. "You should sleep on your room, or something, better to your spine."

He chuckles when you poke his side. "But I'm comfortable here."

"I'm surprised, you just met me today, and now is sleeping on my shoulder."

"I'm not, that happens often to me."

"Sleeping on people's shoulders?"

"No! Making friends quickly." Itadori likes your gentle warmth, your hug, everything makes him feel at home. "I met two more people before you for two weeks, but they can't see me, because I'm dead."

"So I'll keep you company, that's my new mission."

His eyes widen at that, a oh so little blush covering the tip of his ears.

"For how many time I slept anyway?" He asks.

"About two- no, three hours. You missed two movies, and this one is about to end."

"And you stayed here the whole time?" He motions to your shoulder.

"Yep. That reminds me I gotta pee."

Itadori grumbles, but quickly lifts himself off you, respecting your needs. That gives him some time to look around, he notices Ino is gone, and the plushie sits quietly at the other side of the couch, unmoving.

"Y/N! How did you manage to make it quiet down?" He's beyond bafflet.

"...que."

"What!"

"I said!" You arrive quickly at the doorframe, hands still wet from when you washed them. "I used my innate technique."

"Oh! How is it like?"

"It's kinda funny, gimme a moment." You left to wipe off your hands, coming back in a second. "So, just like Shoko, I produce reverse curse energy, but it's quite different than hers, I can't heal people. That's why we often call it positive energy instead. I can use it to soothe off negative energy, so the bear has no cursed energy right now."

"How does it works on people?" He felt very curious about everything, asking away like a kid.

"Since everyone has negative energy, it just makes you sleepy really. But when it comes to curses it's really practical, I can either weaken it or, if the curse is like grade three or four, I can slap them off existence completely by wiping all their energy." You were naturally proud of having a such versatile power, your own energy swirling with pride around you.

"That sounds amazing! Is it why I fell asleep though?"

"Nah, only if I did it on purpose. I guess you were just tired, hope you don't mind I decided to let you rest today."

"No way, it was a good nap."

You nodded. "By the way, Ino left to attend to a drinking party, he paid for our food."

"Drinking? Is he old?"

"Yeah, he's twenty." You chuckled, already expecting that kind of reaction.

"No way! He looks young just like us!"

"That's totally my reaction after I learned he's twenty!"

After that day, you started visiting Itadori weekly to daily, after exchanging numbers he made a little group with you and Ino, naming it the "Nanami trio". But really, he exchanges more texts with you in private, be them memes, cool images he wish to share, etcetera. Although, Ino wasn't left excluded, he ofter brough his xbox to connect to Itadori's tv room and you all would spend hours playing together; he just didn't spend much time with both of you as much. And that was okay.

For a few days, your connection with Itadori died down when he didn't reply to your texts. They would remain unread for some time, the longest being half a day, until he would spam apologies then move on with the topic. That became a routine until one day when you came over to check on Itadori unnanounced, needin to ease off your worries about the boy, only to find him sobbing in the middle of a hallway, staring ahead and beyond, his back to you.

"Ita-?"

"Egh!" Startled, he scrambled to wipe his eyes, turning to you. "H-hey, um, hi."

"What happened?"

"I- he-" His eyes didn't met yours, knuckles white in a death grip. You notice he has a few bandages thrown over his face and arms. The way his shoulders are drawn, as if he wants to shrink into himself is something you've experienced before.

"Something hard to talk about?"

He nods almost immediately, head still facing down.

"It's alright, come with me." You reach for his hands, grimacing slightly when his forceful grip is now on your hand, yet you don't comment on it. He follows you through the state wordlessly.

You two stop on the same tv room, sitting down on the couch. You then guide his head to your shoulder, gently massaging his scalp with the free hand.

"It's alright."

Those two words are chanted like a prayer for the next half hour, at some point, Itadori twisted his body towards yours and unknowingly caged you between him and the sofa arm. He embraced you with a force you didn't have in you, like he didn't want to lose one another. Painful or not, not a muscle moved on your body. He needed a shoulder to cry on.

Thirty minutes passed like seconds, you peered down only to find the boy confortably napping against your bosom; at some point you just became the cold side of the pillow to him. That's alright. It brings you joy to be the mom friend anyways. So you decided to join the sleepland aswell, arms still secured around his shoulders and the back of his head.

It feels like the nap hasn't been long, though, because you can feel Itadori's grip loosening and therefore, you're awake.

"Sorry if I broke any bones, in advance."

"Wow, and you only warn me now."

He laughs at your comeback, hands still secured around your waist.

"I'm surprised you let me uh, cuddle you for comfort - and sleep. I don't understand it? You just make me sleepy." He rambled, keeping eye contact with you while his head still rests on your chest.

"That's a piece of cake when you have younger siblings who seek for you every night they get a nightmare."

"Does that mean I can come to you again if I have a nightmare?" There it is, his togepi-kirby cutesy face.

"Are you four?"

"That's mean!" Itadori blushed, squeezing you on his arms. "I like the contact. It puts me at ease."

"Mm, do you want to talk about it?"

He gulped. "No, not really."

Your peach haired friend remained silent, and so did you. It seems he doesn't intend in letting you go soon, or he just really forgot to mention it. It gives them time to think, your younger sisted used to do that sometimes, back in Kyoto.

"Y/N, wanna watch anything?"

"Sure, have you watched Parasyte before?"

"No, let's give it a try then!" Itadori glances at the remote, then back at you - making you confused over his hesitation to move. He notices you noticed it, chuckling nervously. "To be honest, I don't wanna let go."

"It's hurting my back."

"SORRY I'M SORRY!" He jumped away from you like a cat would jolt away from a cucumber, making you snicker.

"It's okay, I just wanted to change positions."

And to tease you, but he didn't need to know that part.

He glared at you with a small pout, typing the initials of Parasyte on the search bar. Outside his line of vision, you were grinning like a idiot, his sweeteness took a tow on you. All the people of Tokyo you met really held a way different spirit from your classmates in Kyoto, Itadori being the nicest of all. It's surprising him being Sukuna's vessel to begin with; being honest, you felt drawn by it.

"Y/N, it's startiiiiing." He cut your daydreaming short, slumping on your side and propping his head on your shoulder.

"This again?" You throw an arm around his shoulders, very much like the first time he cuddled himself on you.

"Don't blame me, you're the one who wanted to change positions. Guess I'll just make some alterations since I'm awake this time!" One of his arms went behind your back and circled your waist, hand resting at your hip.

"It's definely different, since the other time you drooled on me."

"Hhgh, okay okay! Let me enjoy this." For perhaps the actual first time, you're able to watch without exchanging words with one another.

And this time, it's you who's head loll to the side, nose buried on his soft rose perfumed hair. Itadori doesn't comment on it yet, his free hand moves under your legs to lift your whole body up efortlessly when he senses you have fallen asleep.

"I remember you said it's bad for my spine, I wouldn't mind it... yours however."

The boy makes a beeline to the guest room, he sighs when there is no choice but open the door with his foot. Inside, he places you carefully in the soft bed.

Before he could leave, a hand reaches up for his sleeve.

"Itadori," He turned, looking at you. "Make me company?"

He giggles softly - you think it sounds like a highschool girl. "You should start calling me by my first name!" Itadori rambles as he climbs on the bed, arms wrapping around your waist in a motion you're familiar with.

"Yuuji, I'm tired, let me sleep."

"But I wanna talk more..." He pouts. "Also, are we, um, dating?"

You wriggle around, bringing his head down to peck on his forehead, teasing. "Correction, I want to date you."

"Uh, oh." A blush coats his face so quickly, you'd say someone dumped a bucket of red paint on his face.

"Is that a no?"

"No!"

"So it is a no."

"Christ, will you stop teasing for a second, I'm trying to talk here." He makes an angry version of his togepi-kirby face, you can't help but grin.

"You amuse me, but okay. I'll do it for you."

"Thanks." He blinks, the blush slowly fading away. "You know, I lied, not about the contact, I like the contact nonetheless-"

His hand moves to play with yours, such as tapping his tips against yours, or meassuring the palms.

"-it's you who brings me comfort."

It's also your turn to blush, that line was seriously charming.

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, we're dating now." You respond, a little eagerly. "Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

This is the best person I could ask for, Itadori thinks, keeping his eyes open as yours shut during the kiss, whom I won't change for anything else in this world.

When you both separate, Itadori feels drowsy and sleepy. His face fits perfectly on your shoulder as always.

"Goodnight, my favorite person."

[plussizeappreciationfics]

Series: Just the assistant...?

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Plus sized reader

Summary: [Y/N], Tom's personal assistant knows that she shouldn't have fallen in love with her employer but she just couldn't help herself. When she thinks that her biggest wish is about to come true, a third party arrives and makes her question whether she'd ever have a chance to escape her situation and simply be loved back by the person she loves the most...

Warning(s): none

Word count: 2,2k

Picture(s) found on: Pinterest/Google

A/N: Thank you all for being so patient with me, I don't know where this series is going but I'll finish it, and that's a fact!

Chapter three: Delayed gratification?

Three months later

"I think that Emma should then place a hand on Robert's shoulder in that scene. To show the audience that despite the pain she's suffering from his infidelity, she's still supporting him in her own, twisted way...As a sign that she's hurting but also sympathetic and understanding because she's having an affair with Jerry herself", [Y/N] heard Zawe's voice speak softly from inside Tom's office.

She fought back the reflex to roll her eyes as the jealousy was seeping through her like a raging fire. It had been two months since Tom, Zawe and Charlie had been casted for the Betrayal play and the public had been informed about it too.

Once the assistant had recovered from her cold, she had joined Tom, Idris, Charlie along with their wives and Zawe at their celebration dinner. She felt like she had been floating on cloud nine as the British actor had troubles taking his eyes off her and focusing on their surroundings. She had worn a beautiful dress that clung to her luscious body, the heels only complimenting her beautiful figure and making her feel like a Goddess.

[Y/N] was sure that it wouldn't take too long for Tom to come forward and express their deeper connection. He even had held her hand a few times and given her loving smiles when the rest of the group was distracted by their own conversations. Her body had gladly welcomed any of his touches and the poor woman had to take a few restroom breaks in order to collect herself, calm down her breathing and snapping back into reality.

Unfortunately, [Y/N]'s hopes and wishes started to tumble down once Zawe had entered the picture: She and Tom had gotten the official play script and she started spending hours at his house in order to prepare for the upcoming opening night.

She and Tom had been acquaintances for years but during the rehearsals they realised that they shared the same hobbies and general interests. She was able to quote Shakespeare from the heart which quickly left the British actor in amazement. [Y/N] had to watch how her love was slowly losing interest in her. Zawe was a sweetheart, befriended the assistant as she was pretty much around the most of the day.

But [Y/N] felt heartbroken. She was starting to lose hope watching her love slowly distance himself from her in order to get close to his colleague. Tom started to reschedule their weekly meetings, preferring to spend his late afternoons with Zawe and often taking her out for dinner. His loving gazes and touches also stopped as he spent less time with his assistant. He was so excited to become friends with someone that loved the same things he did and that was clear to everyone.

The time he then finally spent with [Y/N] consisted of purely business affairs. At first he was left confused when his assistant would fake a smile or laugh at one of his corny jokes and genuine compliments about her outfits. Tom felt uneasy and uncomfortable but his overworked brain couldn't pinpoint the issue for him. [Y/N] knew better than to act out on her feelings, especially of those she felt towards Zawe because she wasn't that type of person. She had accepted her fate and hoped that at least the actress would find pure happiness with Tom.

“That’s a great idea, the crowd will be able to really get into the scene” Tom’s voice replied, making [Y/N] sigh as she stood in front of his office, looking into the opened door and seeing Tom and Zawe sitting in front of his desk, their knees touching and the scrips into their dominant hands. They were staring deeply into each other’s eyes and [Y/N] felt sick to the stomach. She wished that she was sitting that close to her love, drinking in his intense gaze and feeling the delightful sensations flow through her body like a smooth river.

“Excuse me” she finally spoke up, waving quickly at them before getting back into business-mode.

“Yes, [Y/N]?” Tom asked, a genuine smile on his face as he hadn’t seen his assistant and friend in a few days and was happy to see her, a delicate tingle rushing through his body upon hearing her voice. “Do you need some groceries? I finished a few tasks and was wondering if you need anything food related because I’ll be going food shopping for myself ”.

[Y/N] smiled over at Zawe and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if she needed something herself. “No, I’m good. But thank you very much for asking”. The assistant nodded and looked back at Tom who was staring at her with a questioning look on his face. No, it looked more like he was in deep thoughts and contemplating whether to accept her offer or not.

“I don’t need any groceries, but can I please speak to you?”.

[Y/N]’s heart skipped a beat, she knew that she wasn’t in any trouble but his question still had her mind running to all sorts of scenarios.

“Sure”.

Zawe quickly stood up and excused herself, making sure to close the door behind her.

Once she was gone, Tom pointed at the now empty chair in front of him and the assistant nervously made her way over to it. She took deep breaths and had troubles keeping direct eye contact with her love. He looked as handsome as always. His cologne was now creeping its way into her nose, and she bit back a delighted sigh, she had missed him.

“What’s wrong?”.

“How have you been the past few days? I’ve barely heard from you, and you haven’t quite checked in”. A worried look was now plastered across his face, his soft and warm hands now gently resting on the assistant’s knees. His touch almost made her jump. His sudden concern made her heart melt, but she knew better than to think too far ahead. She knew that he cared about her as a normal human being.

“I’ve been good, just busy running around. Did I miss something?”

“Oh no, I’m just so used to having you around so much that I got worried when I’d check my phone and not see a message from you”.

[Y/N] faked a chuckle and swallowed the uncomfortable lump she felt in her throat. Of course, she didn’t voice how she was distancing herself from Tom. How she couldn’t continue living a one-sided romance and watch someone else get his full attention. But the surprising thing was that she thought that he wouldn’t even notice it. That was because the British actor also had the tendency to go MIA when being in his element, working hard and forgetting everything and everyone else around him for a little while.

It was a rhythm [Y/N] had gotten used to from the very beginning and knew that when her services were needed again, she'd get a message or phone call.

“Don’t worry Tom, if there would be something I’d message you instantly” she patted his thigh in a comforting manner and gave him a bright smile. That made him let out a relieved sigh before surprising her by leaning forward and engulfing her in a tight hug.

“You know I love and care so much about you, [Y/N]” he softly whispered, his face resting in the crook of her neck. [Y/N] clenched her eyes shut and slowly hugged him back, feeling love and sadness churn in her stomach. She could never get enough of his touch, but she was starting to feel overwhelmed by his simple presence. And this random platonic confession. Tom was a person that showed his love and care through acts of service and gifting.

“I know…” she finally answered and let out a pleased sigh, never being able to get enough of his hugs. Tom chuckled and nodded his head before slowly standing up, pulling his assistant with him to his feet. She frowned in confusion before feeling him tightening his grip on her, his strong arms snacking their way around her thick waist and pulling her even closer. Not a strand of hair could’ve fit in between them.

A good minute went by before Tom slowly began to pull away, making [Y/N] release her arms from around his shoulders. “So what-“ she was cut off by his face leaning in towards her and his soft lips suddenly kissing hers.

[Y/N] stopped moving.

Tom was kissing her.

Tom was kissing her.

Tom was kissing her.

He let out a soft moan when their lips melted together, drinking in every sensation before every so slowly beginning to move his lips against hers. [Y/N]'s body finally started to respond and she felt her mouth moving against his, almost drowning into the sensational moment. Tom wouldn't help but smile during the kiss, feeling a rush of love and excitement get a hold of him. Everything felt so right.

The actor was a hopeless romantic but also someone that preferred physical intimacy over emotional. His heart was pounding in his chest and he knew that [Y/N] could feel it too. His stomach was churning in delight and his mind was screaming at him to continue kissing her. But he chose to pull away and grin at her.

“This wasn’t planned” he explained once seeing [Y/N] open her eyes and trying to hide a smile. She had gotten over the initial shock and now was trying her best to play it cool.

“You’re so beautiful [Y/N], I didn’t realise how much I missed you until I saw you standing at the door” the actor chuckled and shook his head in amazement, a blush had appeared on his face and he looked like a little boy in love for the first time. The sight made [Y/N] break out in a wide grin before she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against his lips again, instantly feeling her head spin in pure delight and joy.

The kiss was perfect, the taste of his lips already made her hunger for more. Oh how wrong she had been, thinking that her love wasn’t being reciprocated, but learning that it was. She felt like a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders, that she could now fully be herself with Tom and begin their wonderful journey as lovers now.

The lovebirds kissed each other a few more times before they both pulled away and smiled at each other, nothing but pure love and happiness clouding their eyes. “Can I take you out to dinner tonight? Something small and private, of course”.

The assistant nodded her head and bit her lip to stop herself from squealing out in joy. She was about to say something when a soft knock on the door interrupted their moment, making them jump a few feet away from each other.

“Come in” Tom spoke and quickly gave his assistant a wink before his face turned serious again. She nodded her head and cleared her throat, acting professional again.

Zawe entered the office again, a small smile on her face before she asked whether she and Tom could finish rehearsing the lines as she had errands to run and didn’t want to stay too long.

“Of course” [Y/N] mumbled and immediately made her way out of the office, walking tall and proud as she felt so confident. She then closed the door behind her and made her way downstairs, the kiss constantly replaying in her head. It’s finally happening, she thought while smiling to herself.

___

“Okay that’s enough for today ” Zawe sighed, closing the script and quickly putting it in her purse, already having her jacket on. Tom chuckled and stood up with a groan, stretching his long limbs while smiling at his colleague.

“I love the script so much, I really can’t wait for everyone to see the play” he voiced, getting excited at the thought of playing out the play in front of a crown and having it mesmerised. Zawe chuckled and let out a deep sigh, feeling nervous as she approached Tom and smiled at him.

“I can’t wait either”.

Was all she said before leaning forwards and pressing her lips against his, instantly closing her eyes and losing herself in the delicate moment. This was a bold move, but she felt a deep connection to her coworker and never was a woman to wait and hope for something to happen. She enjoyed the chase of a new love interest.

It took Tom a few seconds to realise what was happening but once he did…

He pulled her closer and moved his lips against hers smoothly, feeling delicate tingles ripple through his body. The man wasn’t thinking at all, just enjoying the moment and softness of Zawe’s lips.

“This feels amazing” she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Yes it is-“ Tom snapped back to reality and jumped away, coughing awkwardly once he finally comprehended that he had messed up big time.

“I-I’m sorry I have something I have to attend to…” is all he awkwardly mumbled before rushing to the door and holding it open for his colleague. Zawe gave him a confused look but quickly shrugged it aside, not wanting to know what he was thinking because she was pretty much satisfied with what just had happened.

She bid him her last goodbyes before leaving his house, a proud smile on her face. Tom on the other hand, closed the door behind him and let out a long sigh. He had messed up because he felt something during the kiss, he couldn't point out what exactly but one thing he was sure: he had feelings for Zawe.

Tag list: @jamesbarnesappreciationclubub  l @pleasantdreamqueen l @disneymarina l l @harleycativy  l @sparklemichele l @melaninmarvel l @amethyst09 l @the-force-of-imagines l @bossyboyd03 l @pebblesz892 l @stars8melanin l @brittyevans l @toc1985 l @janeyboo l @badassbaker l @winters-beauty l @cannonindeez  l @ilovefanfic86  l @adorablespecialsnowflakes l @brittanyovens l @kanupps06 l @jazmynejack l @thebookwormslytherin l @theunsweetenedtruth l @talannalew l @littlexmissxfandomxlover l @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes l @crimsonash330 l @booklover2929 l @aranelgrey l @panda-duuu l @thisismysecrethappyplace  l @titty-teetee l @honey-anon l @princess-evans-addict l @hp-hogwartsexpress l @malindacath  l @letsdisneythings l @scorpionchild81 l @shado-raven l @alisoncdariel l @plutoneu l  @queenoftheworldisdead l @briannab1234l @miyaeadys-blog l @thenamelesscorpse2185 l @hihellogoodbyebruh l @nackrosor l @nerdgurl1985 l @2darkskinbeauty l @bugngiz l @african-melanin-goddess l @barnes-wilson-love l @ktiz90 l @let-the-love-in l @forlornfortitude l @robinredboob l @hopefuloperaangelnerd l @kola95 l @partypoison00 l @alwaysadreamingoptimist l @reniescarlett l @g0thicdream l @mayasopinions l @captaintightpants58 l @leillee​ l @kayleighsimone​

-Emmanuelle 💋❤️

[alottanothing]

Kismet

Summary: Evie prepares a meal for the stranger who helped her and finds herself more than a little smitten.

Previous Part: Hope

Word Count: 5707

Warnings: Language

Tag List: @ramilicious, @txmel, @edteche2, @gloriousdarkangelsworld, @diasimar, @xmxisxforxmaybe (Let me know if I missed you, or if you would like to be added to the tag list)

A/N: Okay, I almost didn't get this up today because I was up most of the night sewing kilts for Highland Weekend at the Ohio Renfiare. BUT I stayed awake and did my final read-through, so this should be mostly okay. I skipped a couple steps in my editing to get this up on time but I think, for the most part, it's okay. If you see a grammatical booboo, just ignore it, I'll get in here sometime this week with my other two editing steps and find it, then repost this. Capisce? Okay, cool...now. I hope you enjoy it, I also hope my trying to phonetically write Mer's accent doesn't get too annoying. I know you really shouldn't write accents, but I think it helps add to the characters. And I do try to keep it to a minimum so it doesn't get annoying. Thanks for the love the first part received last month! I know waiting so long between updates is a bit sad after weekly updates with LtR. But life is busy right now and once a month is all can guarantee.

Jonny did not know how to keep a house.

In fact, Jonny did not know how to do much more than drink, argue, and get into fights. He was nothing but a thorn in Evie's side—never mind how much she needed him for a place to lay her head. A necessary thorn was still a thorn. Given the opportunity, she would rip it out as soon as she could and dress the wound promptly so she was finally able to heal better. She stayed only because she had no other choice. And every time Jonny raised his voice or stumbled in reeking of alcohol and red-faced, Evie could hear her best friend's warning in her head. Cynthia had begged her not to go with him, but she hadn't listened.

Oh, how she wished she had.

Luckily, Jonny wasn't the kind of man who liked to stay home which eased the ache of the ever-present thorn in her side. Whatever money he did have, he spent out on the town—the town being New Orleans. Like Evie, Jonny had been born and raised in the Big Apple, the noise and the chaos was part of him. As such, he hadn't taken to the quiet suburban life Bridge City offered as well as Evie. She liked the quiet, easy flow of the sleepy town. Her housemate loathed his new home. He thrived in disarray, thus, he found a group of like-minded young men to run amok with in the neighboring metropolis every chance he got.

If Jonny had been any sort of amicable company, the notion of him leaving most every night to wreak havoc several miles away would have been upsetting. Thankfully, his penchant for city life meant a good portion of Evie's days were spent out from under Jonny's tyranny. The hours he was gone were blissful and calm, and she relished in them. Whether she was creating art or tending to chores around the old house, Evie didn't care as long as Jonny wasn't there—never mind how lonely the routine often was.

Evie had never gotten the chance to meet Jonny's maternal grandmother, though she suspected she would have liked to. Unlike her grandson, she seemed like any other sweet elderly woman judging by the furnishings she'd left behind. There were dozens of lace doilies, and table cloths with soft patterns, decretive china even, but it was the plethora of photos the old woman kept that told Evie she'd carried a kindly heart. All of them were kept in pristine albums or intricate frames; they were the only barbles that seemed to have been cleaned or dusted with any regularity which spoke of how much she must have treasured them. Evie loved those tiny trinkets and black and white memories. It didn't matter that they were not her legacy of family heirlooms to keep, she adored them anyway.

She couldn't count the number of times she'd replaced a broken frame that had fallen victim to Jonny's drunken belligerence or scrubbed tirelessly at a stain he'd left on the patterned tablecloths. It proved to be a hefty undertaking, but dwelling in the fantasies of someone else's history let her forget the grief of her own. She was willing to sacrifice a little elbow grease if it allowed her mind to roam away from the shadow that never really seemed to vanish.

For all the effort Evie put in on the interior, the cottage held little in the way of curb appeal. The porch was sunken in the middle, the paint was peeling off in chunks, and the yard was mostly weeds. Worst, however, was the screen door which squeaked so loudly, every dog in the neighborhood howled in protest every time someone crossed the threshold. The outside needed love that Evie simply didn't have the energy to lend. Despite the grit, however, the foundations were sturdy enough that she didn't worry. The cottage proved to be stronger than she looked—a feat Evie felt she had in common with the old house. And while it was a swell enough place to rest her head, it never truly felt like home. Home was somewhere safe, and as long as Jonny lived under that roof she wasn't safe. Not really.

Fortunately, Jonny wasn't home when Evie returned after her run-in with Mr. Shelton—Mer, she corrected herself with a hint of a giddy smile. Without her housemate there, her evening promised to be hopeful instead of lonely, and she wasted no time in figuring out what to make for dinner.

With her red pumps replaced by her worn-in slippers and her blue checkered apron secured around her waist, she set a pot of water to boil and dialed the phone conveniently located in the kitchen. Every evening she called her sister-in-law to pass the time and keep up on unimportant gossip back home; this time, however, Evie was excited to finally have some good news to share.

"You got the job, didn't you?" Cynthia Clarke asked on the other end, sounding hopeful. "I knew you would."

Evie grinned, still amazed how the sound of Cyn's voice always seemed to settle some of the ever-present anxieties buzzing in her head. She missed her friend so much.

"I didn't even say yes."

"Did you or did you not get the job?" Cynthia pressed.

"I did," Evie confirmed and her smile grew hearing her friend cheer on the other end of the phone.

"See! I knew it." Cynthia said. "My gut feeling is always right."

Evie rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly.

"I think I'm gonna like working there too, so that's good." she mused as she stood at the stove, eyeing the pot of water she’d set to boil.

"That's so great, Ev. I'm so proud of you." Cynthia paused before continuing. "So, what are you up to tonight? Avoiding Jonny?"

"Sorta," Evie nodded even though she knew her friend wouldn't see.

As she continued to watch her cooking pot of water she told Cynthia all about her trouble with Jonny's car and the man who'd been so kind to help her.

"Wait. You invited the stranger over who fixed the car?" Concern was heavy in Cyn's voice, and Evie half expected a lecture to follow.

Despite knowing each other since childhood, Cynthia had taken on the role of her protector since Evie's family was no longer in the picture. The war had claimed Evie's father, and brother—although they'd never found her brother, Jimmy after he disappeared behind enemy lines. Evie never lost hope that Jimmy would one day be found, Cynthia though, was certain her husband was never coming home. After Cyn’s brother, Charlie, died at Normandy Cynthia had difficulty believing anyone was going to make it home. As for Evie's mother, losing a child and her husband to the war was too much for her tender heart and she passed not long after. Ever since, Cynthia was overcome with the need to act as Evie's guardian.

"He wouldn't let me pay him," Evie explained. "So I'm making him dinner—it seemed like the least I could do."

"I suppose…." Cynthia didn't sound convinced, if anything she sounded slightly irritated there was no quick way for her to argue the logic. "Just be careful, Evie. You don't know this guy—he could be another Jonny Doyle. Or worse."

"He's not," Evie said quickly. She wanted nothing more than to tell her friend all about how benevolent Mer was, but she decided against it. Cynthia would only argue that point somehow.

A long pause followed, and Evie wedged the receiver between her ear and shoulder so her hands were free to work on the meal.

"So, what are you cooking?" This time, there was a hint of jest in her friend's tone when she spoke.

The art of cooking was one creative outlet that Evie struggled with, second only to music. In her youth, her mother did all the cooking—it was a passion of her mother's—thus Evie had done little more than watch in wonder as her mother whipped up meal after meal effortlessly. Breakfast she the meal she was probably best at, apple pies too, but anything beyond that Evie required a step by step guide to prepare. And even then she lacked confidence. Thankfully, when she'd fled south, she remembered to grab her mother's cookbook. It was a cumbersome tome with yellowed pages and notes scribbled into the margins: a piece of art itself cultivated over years of collecting recipe after recipe starting the moment her mother stepped off the boat that brought her from Ireland. And like a witch and her spellbook, Evie depended on it.

"Spaghetti with garlic bread," Evie admitted feeling as though the meal lacked a certain something.

Pasta was something she knew held a low degree of difficulty when it came to preparing. Surely she couldn't mess up pasta.

“Mmm, I can almost smell it,” Cynthia said.

“Shut up.”

“No, seriously,” Cyn replied. “You’re mom’s spaghetti recipe was always my favorite.”

A doleful smile pulled at the corners of her lips, thinking back to her mother happily cooking in the kitchen as she sang a Celtic tune. It seemed strange that those moments would never again play out, instead they’d become bittersweet memories Evie could only relive in her mind.

“Mine too,” she murmured, suddenly missing her family.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Evie’s mind roamed the dregs of her grief before blinking back into reality and the hope of something happy to come.

“I need to go, Cyn,” Evie told her friend with a sigh. “I don’t want to burn the garlic bread.”

Cynthia chuckled and said her goodbye, only after making Evie promise to call her in the morning to let her know how everything went.

With her second hand restored after hanging up, Evelyn reached for her mother’s cookbook to give the steps another look over to ensure she had done everything and added every herb and ingredient she was supposed to. She’d followed everything perfectly, even factoring in the little notes scribbled into the margins left there by her mother—those she smiled at fondly and traced the fading ink with her fingers. Everything was as it should be. Even so, without a taste, Evie knew the sauce she had prepared would never be as savory as what her mother made so effortlessly.

“You were the artist in the kitchen, Ma,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll stick to paper and canvas.”

For the smallest of a moment Evie thought she would hear the warmth of her mother’s laugh, and when it never came she sighed again, trying not to dwell on the shadows behind her. What mattered was the light ahead.

Despite her lack of confidence, the meal came together without any severe hiccups. The noodles were not overcooked, the sauce was a complementing mix of savory and sweet (though, as she had guessed after a tiny taste, was not nearly as good as her mother's) and the garlic bread was nicely golden. A small tingle of pride manifested in the form of a surprised, but satisfied, smile as she surveyed the dinner before her.

“Not bad, Ev,” she told herself, knowing her mother would have been delighted.

With the cooking done, Evie threw a glance over her shoulder to the clock mounted on the wall, triggering a surge of anxiety to bubble in her gut. Stranger, perhaps, was the amount of excitement coursing through her veins. It was as though all of her happiness was riding on whether or not she would see Merriell again. None of it made sense; the man was little more than a stranger. The coupling of nerves and delight was not a feeling that put her ill at ease, however. She trusted it. And it was that peculiar sensation that seemed to fuel her movements.

With a few minutes to spare, Evie wandered into the small bathroom to freshen up. She made sure her hair was still pinned the way she liked—up and pretty. Her make-up was holding up nicely despite the heat; all she needed was a fresh layer of lipstick to complete the illusion of a put-together young lady. It wasn't often she wore a dress with heels and a face of cosmetics—she liked to when the opportunity arose, but she was just as comfortable in a pair of old overalls and smudges of charcoal on her face.

Just as she wiggled back into her red pumps—discarding her worn-in house slippers with a couple of calculated kicks—a knock on the door signaled Merriells arrival. Immediately a grin curled onto Evie's lips and her heart began to pound an anxious-excited rhythm. A blush threatened to color her cheeks to give away the torrid muscle beating in her chest—her ever yearning heart already making leaps and bounds for a man she had known for mere hours.

Don't be ridiculous—she warned herself taking in a deep breath to curb the eagerness coursing in her veins. Untying her apron, she tossed it along with her discarded slippers and went to answer the door, taking one last deep breath to steady the fervor in her heart.

Merriell had changed and showered. The sweet bouquet of his shampoo coupled invitingly with the musk of the aftershave he'd chosen, making it difficult for Evie to keep from soaking in the scent he carried. His curls were still somewhat damp—too much moisture in the air to keep the heat from drying them on his way over—though they fought to spring back into their previous fluff. The grease-covered, jeans he'd been wearing had been replaced by a nice pair of tan slacks, and the buttoned shirt he wore was a soft shade of green that made his eyes glitter a deeper emerald as he stood under the glow of the porch light. All Evie could do was stare—utterly beguiled—every rational thought in her head lost to her.

Mer smirked, amused by her ogling. "Hiya."

Evie blinked, coming back to reality, suddenly feeling foolish, and uttered a nervous "hi" before swinging her arm to invite him inside.

"Come in."

Merriell's smile grew as he crossed the threshold, inhaling deeply. "Mm, smells tasty in here."

He gently forced a bottle into her hands as he passed on his way to investigate the savory smells in the kitchen.

"I wasn' sho what ya was makin', but I figured wine usually goes with anythin'."

"Oh, thank you." Evie glanced at the label, unable to read the French words printed there. "You didn't have to bring anything."

"I know," Mer shrugged, placing his hands in his pockets. "I just wanted to make a good impression."

There was something almost boyish when he smiled then—cheeks coloring pink ever-so-slightly—that made him even more of a mystery. One Evie was eager to solve.

"Well," she said placing the bottle on the kitchen table. "It should go perfectly with dinner."

His expression lost a hint of its boyish charm as it grew into a look of delight.

"Make yourself at home," Evie gestured vaguely between the table and the sofa in the living room as she ventured to the cabinet where the stemware was kept.

She placed two crystal glasses on the table along with the wine and retraced her steps to fetch some of the nicer china Jonny's grandmother had kept. Mer watched her, his gaze, gentle and attentive, and a little bit yearning as she methodically sat the table.

"Need help with anythin'?" he asked finally.

"Nope," She replied with a smile. "Everything is almost ready."

The hearty red sauce on the stove was beginning to boil again which told her it was hot enough to serve, and Evie eyed the pot with scrutiny, praying silently her attempt at cooking would go over well.

"I'll pour us a glass then," Mer announced.

"Great, lemme…" Evie spun to fish for the corkscrew in the drawer of misfit utensils, finding it, only to turn to see Merriell holding his lighter against the neck of the dark bottle just below the cork.

Before she could ask, a loud pop sounded, causing her to jump as the cork went flying.

"Oh my goodness!" she laughed, a little surprised, a little impressed. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Mer shrugged, a sly expression on his features, and left her question unanswered.

"How much ya want?" He held the open bottle over the top of her glass, waiting patiently.

"Enough," she said, tossing him a coy smirk without really meaning to.

He bit his lower lip as he smiled, chuckling under his breath when he poured a generous glass of red wine for each of them. She thanked him as he took his seat and grabbed his plate to dish out their dinner.

"How much pasta would you like?"

Mer's face lit with charm and mischief as he turned to face her.

"Enough," he grinned.

The expression on his face was playful, his smirk devious and amused by his own response and his cheekiness settled warmly in Evie's stomach. Not only did she revel in it, but she also played into his whimsy and scooped as much spaghetti into his plate as she could before coupling it with the savory sauce and a slice of bread.

Despite being only strangers, the atmosphere that bloomed that evening was not marked by any hint of bashfulness, instead, it was relaxed and amiable. Warmth that Evie had longed to dwell in again—that unrefutable kindness she'd lost with the passing of her family—flowed uninhibited from the man sitting adjacent to her. His conversation was cautious but still jovial and genuine. It was the first time since running south Evie could recall what life felt like without grief and fear weighing upon her. Merriell was a stranger, but she felt safe with him. Jonny had never made her feel that way.

"So," Evie spoke as she twirled the last bit of pasta with her fork. "What is it you do, Mr. Shelton?"

Mer cast her a look of disapproval—no doubt in retaliation to being addressed so formally—before his features softened back into a neutral, yet somehow still amused side smirk.

"Nothin' too excitin'," he stated vaguely. "The odd jobs are what I like ta do the most—like fixin' ya car this aftah noon."

Without really meaning to, Evie leaned forward, resting her elbow and chin on the table, utterly enchanted by the beautiful stranger at her table.

"You like to get your hands dirty, huh? Fixing things?" she was entirely too intrigued with the thought of what he could do with his hands.

He shrugged, suddenly modest after a foray of playfully arrogant smirks and glances. It made him abruptly twice as charming.

"I've always had a knack for it, I guess." Merriell finished the food on his plate with the help of his remaining garlic bread to mop up the sauce still left on his dish.

"What about you?" he asked after chewing. "Ya workin' anywhere?"

All at once, a proud smile lit up Evie's face. After all the excitement of seeing Merriell again, she'd almost forgotten about her good news.

"Actually, I just got a job today—the general store downtown, Southern Comfort."

Mer's face lit up too, "Birdie's place?"

"Yeah, you know it?" Of course, he knows it! She thought, Bridge City's population was slightly less than the number of people who lived in a single district back home in New York. Everyone knew everyone else.

"Sho do—I was practically raised there…ole Birdie's like a second mothah to me."

"Really?" Evie found a great deal of comfort in that notion. In fact the more she thought on it, the more she realized how similar the old woman and Mer were; they radiated the same magnetism and sincerity.

"Mmhm," he nodded, his eyes focusing elsewhere as the veil of memories danced across the contours of his features. "My mama used ta work there…once upon a time…"

"Does she still work there?"

Merriell's face lost a hit of its levity and he swallowed as though to fight off the onslaught of sudden emotion threatening to cast a shadow onto his expression.

"No…" he said softly. "She—uh—she died, about a year ago."

Shit!

Abruptly, sick knots twisted into Evie's stomach, feeling callous, but understanding of the quiet misery he hid under layers of charm and arrogance.

"Merriell, I'm…I'm sorry—I didn't mean…"

He met her eyes and cast her a quick smile—doleful, but enough to ease the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"It's okay," he reassured her, reaching for his glass of wine and taking a good gulp before changing the subject. "Birdie's great—you'll enjoy workin' for her."

"I hope so…" Evie said softly, still too embarrassed to meet Mer's glance longer than a second or two.

For the first time all night the atmosphere they shared felt cumbersome—perhaps more melancholy—than she'd wanted it to get. Evie sat, worrying her bottom lip, her fingers toying with a loose thread in the table cloth as she stole quick glances through her lashes in Mer's direction.

He was nursing the alcohol in his glass with the same sadness she'd caught plaguing him as he sat at the bar hours ago. And while Evie was eager to know if his grief stemmed only from the loss of his mother, or perhaps more, Merriell was still too much of a stranger to warrant such questions. It didn't matter how easy it was to be near him, she had not earned the right to know his narrative.

A soft sigh broke past her lips as she fought to find a way to properly allay the gloom that was quickly ruining an otherwise wonderful evening. It wasn't until her eyes found their desert sitting on the counter, waiting to save the day, that she perked up.

"Got any room for apple pie?" Evie asked with a hesitant smile. She hoped he wanted to stay long enough to have a slice, though she would not have blamed him for wanting to leave.

Immediately Mer perked up too, the shadows on his features retreating with the promise of something sweet.

"I was countin' on it—seems as how you promised a slice earlier," he said with a boyish grin.

When she stood, he did too, helping clear away their dinner plates, and letting them soak in the sink to be washed later. Evie cut them each a slice of apple pie and the delight on Mer’s face made her smile too seeing him lick his lips as his grin continued to grow. Catching that flash of his tongue was like a bolt of hot lightning striking her without warning; a blush rose so quickly on her cheeks Evie had to look away to keep the blunder a secret. Thankfully, the pie was more than enough to hold Merriell’s attention away from her.

“Mmmm… Almost looks too good to eat,” he said ogling the desert in front of him.

When Evie chanced a look his way, the expression on his face caused her to chuckle, “‘oughta be, I made one for my pa every year for his birthday since I was nine. It’s probably the only thing I have any confidence in making in the kitchen.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Mer quipped as he loaded his fork with as much pie as he could.

The moment he took a bite, his brows creased, and eyes closed as he chewed painfully slow. Those few seconds were like agony. Evie’s heart was pounding in her chest with so much anticipation she feared she might faint as she watched him sample the only thing she could actually make that was worth a damn.

“Fuck me, if that ain’t the best apple pie I’ve evah had the pleasure of tasting.”

A somewhat nervous, but relieved chuckle sounded in the back of Evelyn’s throat as she watched Merriell shovel a larger bite of pie into his mouth.

“Mmm… Yep. God damn delightful.”

“Stop,” Evie said sheepishly, suddenly afraid he was overselling his reaction to keep from hurting her feelings.

“No,” he wiped his mouth and leaned across the table to meet her gaze with a sincere expression that stole away all the doubt writhing in her stomach.

“I mean it. If I wasn’t so full of pasta, I’d eat that whole damn pie right now.”

“Well,” Evie grinned softly, trying not to let her blush color her cheeks too obviously. “Thank you. And you’re welcome to take the rest of it when you go.”

Excitement took form on his face with a smirk that was sweet but roguish all at once—a sort of debonair charm that amplified his magnetism—as if his bright eyes dark curls and razor-sharp jaw did not make him alluring enough already. Again she had to look away knowing the pink in her cheeks would be too strong to combat.

“Imma have ta take ya up on that offah. An’ I’ll be thinkin’ ‘bout you every time I cut me a slice.”

That blush was unstoppable; her heart was suddenly so smitten, it felt as though butterflies were fluttering merrily in her stomach. She felt weightless with warmth and hope swelling in her bosom, fearing any slight breeze would carry her off. It was ridiculous how at ease Evie felt sitting there eating pie with a complete stranger. The conversation had been easy all night; even when it had delved into less savory topics he still made her feel comfortable. Evelyn had forgotten what it was like to be in the company of a man who wasn’t easy to anger, who was genuine and kind and wanted only to live in the moment.

For a time the whimsy of the atmosphere faded as the warmth in her heart ached, suddenly missing her brother James and Cynthia's brother Charlie. Both of them were good men, kind and genuine—like Merriell—but they had been swallowed by the rages of war. Brave young men were lost forever, while a man like Jonny Doyle was still alive How was that fair?

No matter how pleasant her thoughts could be, they always fell back to the grief that plagued her. She sighed, deeply, pushing those intrusive memories back into the depths of her mind so she could find joy once more in the moment with a kind stranger.

When Merrill finished his plate he made a beeline for the sink full of soaking dishes.

“Oh, no,” she said jumping to her feet. “I can do those.”

Merriell, however, shook his head. “Uh-uh, you did the cookin’, I can do the cleanin’.”

When Evie tried to argue, Mer simply shook his head, his grin amused but determined as he kept scrubbing the dirty dishes.

“Let me help at least,” she suggested. “I’ll dry and put them away.”

Before he could protest, she snatched the freshly rinsed dish from his hand and began wiping away the droplets of water clinging to the porcelain surface, throwing him a smug smirk that made him chuckle.

“Alright,“ he smirked.

She watched him for a moment not really paying attention to her task as he scrubbed the old plates clean, overcome with a blissful vision of peaceful domesticity. It made her stomach fill to the brim with whimsy and her heart was fluttering again; had this stranger bewitched her already? Or did what she feel bubbling lightly in her gut like a seltzer stem from an end to her loneliness—even if it was only for a few hours? Evelyn didn’t know. Nevertheless, she was intrigued with a profound feeling and she wanted to dwell in it for as long as she could.

Occasionally as he would hand a freshly washed dish her way, his calloused fingertips would brush against her skin, igniting a spark she didn’t know how to react to. It was more than an amicable tingle racing from the tips of her fingers right to her heart. And each time they touched, Merriell would cast her a gentle smile that held nothing more than his inherent charm and magnetism. She wondered if he felt it too, or if her need for companionship was playing a dirty trick on her.

When the dishes were all back in their usual places—the night drawing to a close—Evelyn realized she was not ready to say farewell to her Beautiful Stranger. She longed to stay up all night just chatting with him, she did not care about what, Evelyn only wanted to stay encompassed a while longer in the blissful warmth he brought into her life. Once he was gone, all she would be able to do was stay up and ponder the significance of those little touches and the sparks they brought.

Thankfully, Merriell lingered on the old rickety porch, one hand in his pocket, the other holding onto his plate of leftover pie, seeming to stall their inevitable departure.

“Well,” he said with a grin. “Thank you for invitin’ a stranger ovah for dinna.” He paused, glancing at the leftover pie in his hand. “Can’t recall ever having a better plate of pasta, an’ nothin’ evah gonna beat this pie.”

Evie quickly looked at her feet to hide another blush.

“It was the least I could do,” she told him before looking back to meet his eyes. “You have no idea how much of a savior you were this afternoon…”

A glint of concern flashed in his eye, his brows beginning to crease as his unspoken question lingered between them.

She thought about telling him—telling him how Jonny was nothing more than a throne in her side, and how much she cherished Merriells company—but Mer was still a stranger. It wasn’t right to unload so much onto someone she’d only known for a few hours.

Before Mer could offer any reply, the sound of screeching tires stole all their focus as an old wagon pulled along the curb—narrowly missing a collision with the mailbox. The rowdy passengers were laughing and shouting loud enough even before the door opened to let Jonny stumble out. He staggered on drunk feet and screamed a handful of profanities to his buddies in the car which made them all roar with laughter.

It was only after the wagon full of hooligans pulled away that Jonny began to stagger towards the house, and it was exactly then that Evie’s fluttering heart became consumed with panic.

She and Mer watched him cross the yard, unseen, both frozen: Evie in fear and Merriell in confusion. Jonny’s intoxication level inhibited him from taking notice of them until he was at the base of the steps leading onto the porch. Immediately, his eyes narrowed and he frowned.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Jonny, this is Mr. Merriell Shelton,” Evie said quickly, willing her voice not to shake.

The Doyle’s were not known for their hospitality, nor were they known to trust most people. Especially strangers.

“He helped me this afternoon with a bit of trouble I was having,” she explained vaguely, hoping to thwart any more suspicion. “I made him dinner to say thank you—he’s just about to leave.”

Jonny eyed Merriell, seizing him up as best he could through drunken lenses. Mer stood his ground, eyeing him back with a subtle intensity that never so much as cracked under Jonny’s scrutiny.

Finally, being the better man, Mer held out his hand in a friendly manner, “nice ta meet ya.”

Jonny cast a prolonged glare at Merriell's open hand, his brows furrowed and part of his lip hiked up in a sort of snarl. Instead of returning the kind gesture, Jonny made a show of spitting at his feet before tossing his heavy leer at Evelyn.

"Evie, do not invite any more strangers into my house. I don't care if they are dying." He shoved past them both, purposely bumping Mer's shoulder (most likely in hopes to start something) muttering as he went: "I don't trust any of these filthy southerners."

Shock sent Evie's jaw slack; this time the redness in her cheeks was a symptom of embarrassment instead of infatuation. She should have known Jonny would say something rude and uncouth. Without another thought, she grabbed Mer by his sleeve and pulled him across the lawn until they stood next to his truck parked along the curb.

"I am so sorry about him," she said, crossing her arms and glaring at Jonny's house, ashamed and angry.

Mer shrugged as he placed his partially eaten pie in the passenger seat through the open window before fixing his hands in his front pockets.

"Ya boyfriend's a bit of an asshole."

"He is not my boyfriend," Evie corrected vehemently. "I don't think he knows that though. I'm just staying here until I can figure some things out."

Merriell was quiet a moment, nodding silently. It seemed as though he was taking his time processing the whole situation. There was compassion on his face and behind his eyes, but it was guarded somehow. Evie caught it though and she was grateful when he didn't ask the questions plainly forming in his mind.

"Well," he said finally, his tone light as one corner of his mouth quirked into a grin. "Since he ain't ya othah half, I feel more inclined ta leave ya with this…"

Gently, Merriell caressed her upper arm as he leaned forward to plant a tender kiss on her cheek. He let his lips linger slightly longer than was common for such an act, that all at once wove a new hopefulness into her heart.

"Dinna was swell," he added as he pulled away, his smile somehow more charming than it had been all night. "Hope I see ya again, Evie."

"Me too," she murmured.

Evie watched as he got in his truck to leave, her hand held to the cheek he'd graced with his kiss. And when he drove away, it took everything inside of her to keep from running after him.

[tlcwrites]

Two Hearts Make a Whole

Prompt: “Kiss me again, like you mean it.” Photo prompt below.

Summary: NYC Pride is for celebration, and occasionally, long-overdue revelations.

Word Count: 2,001

Tags/Content warnings: Marvel. Stucky. If you have a problem with it, there's the door. SFW. Slight TFATWS spoilers so read at your own risk. Platonic Reader. Two idiots in love. Technically canon-divergent because I'm still in my everyone-is-alive-and-in-this-timeline happy place that I will never ever leave fuck you very much Russo brothers but not AU. Found family. All the feels. Complete and total LGBTQ+ support. Lots of bad language words because #me. Un-beta'd.

Author’s Note: Okay so yes this is technically 4 weeks late for @autumnleaves1991-blog's Writer Wednesday weekly challenge. BUT, it was incredibly important to me to finish this one before Pride month is over. Made it by the skin of my teeth.

Happy Pride, y’all. If you’re out, you’re amazing. If you’re closeted, you’re amazing. However you identify is valid and important. Trans folx are LGBTQ+. Bisexuals are LGBTQ+. Ace folx are LGBTQ+. Anyone who identifies or thinks they may be as queer is LGBTQ+. All are welcome in the family. You have the right to choose your pronouns and we have the responsibility to use them. Live whatever your truth looks like to you and love each other. Love is love is love is love. If your family doesn’t accept you for you, I’m your mom now and I’ve got mom hugs available on demand. Homophobes and TERFS can fuck off and roll in poison ivy. Always punch Nazis. Pride shouldn't be limited to the month of June. And don’t you dare forget that Black and Brown trans women were the ones who rioted at Stonewall, and we owe everything to their bravery. Don’t forget that much of popular ‘gay’ culture was appropriated from Black women. And for more facts about Pride that you should absolutely know, Rawiyah Tariq (@ mammyisdead on Instagram) has a phenomenally good overview.

“Oh my god.” You gasp loudly. "Oh my GOD. Is that-"

“What?!” Instantly in First Avenger Protective Mode™️, Steve surveys the crowd, wishing he had an actual shield instead of the screen printed one on his shirt. “What is it?”

You gasp again, smacking Sam’s arm repeatedly. “OHMYGOD IT IS HOLY FUCK.”

“First; ow.” Now-Cap rubs his bicep. “Second; clue in the class before Steve has an aneurysm, please.”

Vibrating with excitement doesn’t begin to describe your current state. “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS MISS LEMON MERINGUE IS STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE.”

With the finesse of a shampoo commercial, Bucky's dark locks fly as he whips around. “What?!”

“RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE.” You abandon a relieved Sam and latch on to Bucky’s vibranium arm. “Oh my GOD I love her so fucking much.”

“She was robbed, absolutely fucking robbed,” he agrees, craning his neck to get a better view. “Divine Tension’s lip sync was shameful.”

Sam glances at Steve, who is slowly coming out of protector mode. “What the ever-loving hell are they talking about?”

“RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Nat flicks more confetti at both Cap-the-former and Cap-the-current. “They watch it every week.”

“Really, Steven, for a guy with enhanced super senses, you miss a lot.” Tony hefts a bedazzled Morgan higher on his back. The toddler, accompanied by Scott playing air-piano on the ground, sings along with the ABBA song being blasted at full volume through the street. Tony continues as if this is an everyday occurrence. “Why do you think both of your People disappear every Friday evening?”

Ears pink, Steve mumbles something.

“What?!” The only other one with hearing enhanced enough to hear a murmur over the cacophony of several thousand people belting out the chorus of ‘Dancing Queen’ at the top of their lungs, Bucky turns to stare at his friend. “You thought we were datin’?”

Steve’s blush extends down his neck.

You and Bucky stare at each other for a moment before you both collapse on each other, exploding into stomach clenching, thigh slapping laughter.

“I’m gonna guess that’s a ‘no’?” Clint confirms with Nat.

“Oh, a big ‘no’.” She watches affectionately as you and Bucky calm down enough to look at each other, breathe for a second, and both promptly dissolve into hysterics once more. “Like, the biggest ‘no’.”

Sam crossed his arms across his chest, his stoic stance so reminiscent of Steve it’s amusing (as well as a beautiful disparity to the sequined crop top he’s sporting. Oof, those abs.). “How do I not know about this?”

“Because you’re not a former super spy?” The usually-Black-but-today-Rainbow Widow tosses the last of her confetti at Tony, who spins a jubilant Morgan into it. “Or because you and that leggy barista from the lobby coffee shop are too busy playing hide-the-“

“-Baby Shark!” Morgan suddenly shrieks, flailing towards a guy on roller blades wearing a fin and tail (and not much else).

“Yeah,” Nat finishes with a smirk, “Hide-the-Baby Shark.”

Sam flips her a gesture that makes Clint laugh and Bruce sigh.

You and Bucky have finally managed to pull yourselves together. “Oh my god, Steven Grant,” you gasp, wiping tears from your eyes. “That’s the funniest fucking shit I’ve ever fucking heard.”

“Language!”

Steve glares at Tony. “One. Time. It was one. Time.”

Bucky slings his flesh arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Oh, punk. You may have perfect vision now, but sometimes you’re still as blind as you were before.”

Visiortn himself nods sagely. “Humans can be quite unperceptive when it comes to matters of the heart.” Vision casts a fond smile at Wanda, who is using her powers to make Pietro’s tinsel wig fly on and off. “Sometimes you have to look harder to see what’s right in front of your nose.”

A confused frown on that handsome face, Captain Clueless looks at Bucky. “Why do I feel like everyone else knows something that I don’t?”

His bestie sighs deeply. “Because, Stevie, almost everyone else on this planet knows that my tastes tend towards tall, blonde, blue-eyed knuckleheads who have zero sense of self-preservation.”

“And an ass you could bounce a quarter off of,” Scott helpfully supplies.

“And that,” Bucky agrees.

Steve frowns.

You press your palms to your eyes in vexation. “You, Steve. He’s talking about you.” (Seriously, how has this idiot survived for over a century while being so dumb?)

Whatever he was expecting, it was certainly not that. “He-“ The Man With A Plan gapes as he turns to his oldest friend. “You-“

“Me,” Bucky says gently.

Even though you’re slightly surprised that Bucky is going to do this in such a public forum, you can’t help but be so proud of your friend. It has taken a long time for Bucky to believe he deserves to be happy. There are days he still sinks into that dark place, where his inner demons whisper that he should have fought harder against his Hydra captors, and that his past actions were still somehow his fault. Those are the days no amount of baking or Modern Marvels will bring him out of his funk. You, Steve, Sam, and Nat have all held those strong shoulders as they shook with sobs, overwhelmed by the shame and horror at what his hands had done without his consent.

But he’s here. He’s free. And he’s smiling nervously at his best friend.

“I-” Steve is short-circuiting. “Me?!”

“Stevie.” With the kind of tender patience that can only be born of a lifetime of keeping (or attempting to keep) an idiot such as one Steven Grant Rogers from flinging himself headlong into every fight he comes across, Bucky moves his flesh hand to the back of Steve’s neck. His face is full of such soft affection that you almost want to look away for fear of intruding on this suddenly intimate moment. “What do you think ‘til the end of the line’ means, you idiot? You’ve been it for me since I was thirteen-years-old.”

Blue eyes are locked with blue eyes as Steve processes this revelation. “I-” He shakes his head as if to declutter his thoughts. “This whole time?”

“Since the first time I saw that asshole knock you down, and your scrawny ass climbed right back up.” A wry chuckle escapes as Bucky reminices. “You were ninety pounds soaking wet, and you stood there, against a guy who was three times your size, and never waivered for a second. It was magnificent.”

“I don’t like bullies,” is Steve’s quiet response.

Bucky’s grin is adoring. “I know, sweetheart.” He gently strokes the back of Steve’s neck with his thumb. “You’ve always had a heart way bigger than your brain.”

Steve is still back on the first part of Bucky’s admission. “If you’ve felt- if you-” He’s practically pleading. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

Bucky shrugs, attempting and failing nonchalance. “It was a different time, you know?” He’s uncharacteristically unsure of himself, the subtle waiver in his voice revealing the anxiety born of a lifetime of being forced to hide his truth. “I mean, you remember how it was; you didn’t talk about, no one talked about- about being- about people like...” He swallows thickly.  “And I was so scared you didn’t, that you weren’t-” His voice breaks.

Even though you’ve all been emotionally invested in this love story for years, the entire team respectfully pretends not to listen as the former Winter Soldier quietly admits his deepest secret to his closest friend. It’s enraging as Bucky confesses yet another way he's been a victim of his circumstances, and denied his right to live freely without derision. Once more, you’re awed by his resilience.

“-it was a risk I couldn’t take,” Bucky finally gets out, that stubborn fire back in his eyes. “I couldn’t lose you, Steve. I couldn’t chance it. I could live with just being your friend and only your friend so long it meant you were in my life.”

Stunned silence meets the end of his confession. Steve’s face is impassive, those cerulean eyes uncharacteristically inscrutable.

You can all tell Bucky is heading steadily towards dread and heartbreak the longer Steve takes to respond. You and Sam exchange a look, both ready to intervene if Steve demonstrates any of the abhorrent attitudes that were so prevalent in the society of his youth. It would be completely out of character for him, but...

Finally, Steve speaks. “You’re telling me,” he says, his words slow and deliberate, “that you made me wait ninety-three years to tell me you’ve felt the same way about me as I have about you since the day you picked me up out of that alley?!”

The whole found family breaths a collective sigh of relief as Steve pulls Bucky even closer, broad chest to broad chest.

“Okay, to be fair, you were an ice cube for most of that time and I wasn’t exactly available for a relationship.” Bucky’s grin stands in contradiction to his mullish defense. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it.” There’s the Bucky you all know and love, biting his lip with those perfect white teeth. “Now, punk, I’d really like to kiss you now, but first I need you to say you want me to.”

“You-” Steve’s throat works as he attempts- and fails- to rein in his emotions. “You jerk.”

And then the Star Spangled Man seizes the president of the Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club by his ridiculously perfect face and crashes their mouths together.

At any Pride event, seeing two men kissing is, obviously, to be expected. But seeing The First Avenger and The White Wolf attempting to swallow each other’s tongues is not at all routine. As people realize what is happening, the crowd is whipped into a frenzy the likes of which is usually reserved for the aftermath of sporting events and elections that defeat fascists.

Watching the two men embrace, Scott sniffles loudly. “I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy.”

He’s certainly not the only one. Wanda has a watery smile as she wraps her arms around Vision and Pietro; Pepper, Tony, and Bruce are watching with fond parental energy; you and Sam sandwich Peter between the two of you, grins practically splitting your faces. Even Nat’s eyes look suspiciously shiny and she and Clint sling their arms around each other with platonic affection. And that’s not counting the several thousand people who are cheering for love being love being love being love.

When they finally break their embrace, the Centennial twins are startled to see they’ve collected quite an audience.

“Uh, so…” Suddenly bashful, Steve glances back to his- partner? Boyfriend? Soulmate? Is there a word that can accurately describe two people who have found each other time and again in a world that seems hell-bent on keeping them apart?- his ears practically maroon with embarrassment. For a guy with one of the most-recognized faces in the world, Steve is still incredibly and endearingly uncomfortable with attention. “Buck?”

Bucky seems just as stunned as Steve.

Thankfully, the masses demonstrate the usual support that’s the hallmark of Pride. “LOVE IS LOVE!” someone screams in the crowd. It’s quickly echoed, and chants fill the park.

The attention momentarily off them, the former Winter Soldier and his giant himbo of a soulmate look back at each other. You pretend not to watch through the happiest tears as they embrace again, bringing their foreheads together. The relief they share is palpable, as they’re finally able to show the world- and each other- the love they’ve each hidden for so long.

Bucky’s voice is so soft you have to strain to hear it. “You have no idea how much m’in love with you, Stevie.”

“Pretty sure I do,” Steve answers, bringing a hand up to carefully wipe the tears from Bucky’s face. “‘cause it’s as much as I love you, Buck.”

Bucky's answering grin can only be described as saucy. “Then kiss me again, like you mean it.”

And Steve, for once in his long life, does exactly as ordered.

---

A/N: “The Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club” is from Starry_Emerald173’s BRILLIANT The Avengers Wrangler over on AO3. If you haven’t read it yet, drop what you’re doing and do so immediately. Make sure you're not drinking any liquids, or your keyboard/phone may be in peril.

[mariana-oconnor]

Weekly Word Count

This week has been a week of starting again and again and again. Which will absolutely be clear in the word counts below.

I have three more prompts to write, and after that I really do need to get on with all the other stuff I want to write, so this is officially the end of me accepting prompts for now. Thank you for all the ideas and the opportunity to take a little break, but I'm going to finish the ones I have and then get back to the bigger projects.

I actually had to start a new Google Doc for the prompts because the old one was soooo slow. I would type a sentence and then watch as Every. Individual. Letter. Came. Up. Like. This. It was painful.

Other than that, not a lot to report, writing-wise. I kept starting ficlets and going 'nope, that's not how this prompt goes' and starting again, which is frustrating, but way better with something that's 3000 words long than it is with something 100,000 words long. y'know.

Anyway.

Word Counts

Prompt Ficlets - 20,206 words

Winterhawk Fake dating - 14,870 words

Medieval AU - 5,336 words

CB's Birthday fic - 11,736 words (This has now gone completely off the rails)

Other random ficlet - 159 words

Total Word Count - 32,101

So yeah, as you can see, the words I wrote do not line up with the words I posted. I have so many false starts. But I firmly believe that the villain in my fake dating fic is better than the first version I had in which the villain was a telepathic and technopathic alien posing as an apartment building and calling itself Yeetseeker on the dark web. No, I'm not joking.

And @kangofu-cb, I'm meeting some of what you asked for. Just... I'm going to go back and add more smut to try to distract you from all the parts that are actually kind of the opposite of what you asked for. Whoops.

And onto my priorities for this week. Which are pretty much the same as last week because I got more prompts 🤣 Hence why I am now closing prompts because this could just turn into an endless cycle.

Priority List

Finish CB's fic. (This shouldn't take long, as long as my smut muse is feeling helpful)

3x Tumblr prompts (Thirst tumblrs, The many interruptions of Bucky Barnes, and the pining prince)

FWB FIC! Seriously, this is already past ridiculous. I need to do this.

Witch!Bucky fic.

[youremeimyou]

Old Lovers

pairing: Min Yoongi x reader genre: angst with sprinkles of fluff, ex-boyfriend au word count: almost 5k warning: some passionate kissing

Description: Min Yoongi is your ex-boyfriend that you’ve parted ways not on the greatest of terms with. But in the makings of a mixtape, somethings will be rekindled. Will it be friendship or maybe more?

A/N: I’ve started writing this so long ago but only recently got to finish it. I haven’t been able to post any fics in a while even though I’ve got a lot of wip. I’m graduating uni and my life’s basically a chaos right now. But I liked writing this a lot. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think of it :) [posting again cuz it’s not showing on tags ughh]

Going back to school has never been this painful to you before. Of course assingments, exams and longer than necessary lectures were always there to welcome you back to hell every year but no new semester intimidated you quite like this one does. Especially after the very much disconnected summer break you had.

Spending the summer in your hometown of Gwangju was a rushed decision that was actually forced upon you at the time. But it turned out to be exactly what you needed. At least, Hoseok made sure that it was. Being your life-long friend, he took matters into his own hands when you couldn't pull yourself together after the rough patch you've been through. The Hoseok-ie rule he called it: No getting in touch with anyone in Seoul. And while it was a little hard not reaching out to close friends in Seoul, you couldn't risk breaking the Hoseok-ie rule. He's sweet and you love him but that guy is one scary motherfucker when he's pissed.

Now, summertime's over and you're definetely not prepared to face your demons. It doesn't help that Hoseok's classes aren't starting until next week, either. That means you have to go through this alone.

On your way from the subway station to the campus, you check the new weekly schedule once more and it makes you let out a dissappointed huff. You can't blame anyone. You made this schedule. But do you have any idea why you decided to put music theory at 9 in the morning while you were making it? No.

Your legs take action before you know it and suddenly you're now turning to the other street. They continue to take you through another familiar path. As you close in on the shop at the corner, the calming smell of coffee reaches your nose and you realise why coming here was more tempting than attending class.

This coffee shop was your safe haven for the past three years and this semester isn't going to be any different. Even though it's so close to campus, not many people know about it and it's never hectic. Which is something you love and right now, definetely need. Some peace and quiet before starting the semester...

You enter and head straight to the barista, who happens to be a friend of yours since you're a regular.

"Hey Ryu."

"Well well, if it isn't Miss I'll come everyday this summer that never showed up once." Ryu has sarcasm alongside with mischief in his voice.

"I know but Hoseok kept me in Gwangju as a prisoner the whole summer, I'm sorry."

"Where's that dancing machine?"

"He doesn't have classes until next week so it's just me for now." You're still not over the fact he left you on your own for the first week.

"It's fine, you're not alone. Look!" Ryu points to the back where the tables are. You're confused as to who he could be pointing at. You and Hoseok are the only ones you know that come here- except...

In a flash, you stop turning around and hurriedly order a black coffee. "Please make it quick." you plead quietly but what's done is done, he already knows you're here. In fact you can hear footsteps approaching.

"That drink was great, dude. What's it called again?" He appears on your right side in his all-black outfit with a snapback. Nothing's changed about him, you think. Except you see some of his hair through the hat and it seems to be bleached. Something he hasn't done for a while. For the two years you two were together, to be exact.

"Oh, it's called yuanyang. You think I should put it on the menu?"

"Definetely, go for it."

It seems like he doesn't even acknowlegde the fact that you're right next to him. But why the hell did he even come here? You totally introduced him to this place and Ryu. So, you should get to keep this place after the break-up. Aren't those the rules?

He takes out his wallet to pay but pauses for a second. "Ryu, can I get two cookies to go?" he asks and hands over his card.

Two cookies? You know he doesn't like sugaries that much. You're almost sure he's meeting someone and it makes you scoff, unconsciously. Both him and Ryu side-eye you but you avert your gaze. "Chocolate ones, please." he adds. You think he must be ordering your favorites just to spite you.

He recieves the cookies from Ryu, fistbumps the guy and starts walking out. But then, just as he passes by you, he leaves one of the cookies on the counter in front of you and exits without another word.

First, you're shocked. And so is Ryu, apparently. You glance at him and he confusedly shrugs. Then, you're pissed. In a moment of anger, you blast out of there to go after him.

"Hey, Min Yoongi!" you shout.

He stops but doesn't turn around for a while. Just when he's about to, you appear right in front of him, the cookie in your hand.

"What's this?"

"What does it look like to you?" he retorts back, his eyes avoiding yours. And you frustratedly huff.

"What are you trying to pull?" you ask with hints of accusation in your voice. That's when he meets your gaze.

"Nothing at all. My fault for trying to be nice."

There it is, the Min Yoongi venom you were waiting for. He opens his mouth to say something else but you beat him to it.

"Ryu doesn't seem to know that we-" you pause. And immediately regret pausing. Why couldn't you just say it?

"Oh, right. You must be thinking that life stopped while you were away." And only as he says this that you notice the dark circles under his eyes. "He knows. So do a lot of other people, by the way."

Well, shit. You might've been away from all the post-breakup commotion but he was here. He was dealing with everyone of your social circle, alone. And what's the first thing you do when you see him for the first time after all that? Lashing out at him. And when he was just trying to be nice, too. Great...

"Can you move? I'm missing class." he says coldly. But despite trying to hide it, his voice sounds tired. Which makes you step out of his way and let him go. Instead, you start making your own way to class, being already late as it is.

Safe to say it's an awkward walk to campus, with you on one side of the street and Yoongi on the other. The bad news is, you constantly find yourself looking his way. Even though you curse under your breath everytime you catch yourself staring at him, you can't help but look again. But his eyes are completely fixed on the road, not even sparing you one glance.

To escape the awkwardness, you decide taking the longer route to class by heading for the stairs at the back while he takes the ones near the entrance. Since you're late and afraid of Professor Sol, you fasten your pace. Once you reach the door, your hand clashes into someone else's. Yoongi's. Of course, you think to yourself. You should've known he's taking music theory from Professor Sol. He's the best student when it comes to music and the best teacher here definetely wants him on his class.

It's too late when you realise you haven't removed your hand because he opens the door with yours under his, making it feel as though you're holding hands.

"So you finally decided to grace us with your presence? You shouldn't have. The class is about to end." Professor Sol scolds the two of you. She isn't exactly wrong. "I can pardon a student who already excells but the one who barely passes classes, I hope you know what you're doing Miss Y/N." One thing about her is that she notoriously discriminates between students and she's never liked you.

Yoongi's hand and yours is still connected and you feel him tense up. He actually used to be your guardian when it came to Professor Sol. And apparently old habits die hard because he grabs your hand harder and steps up a little. "The last I checked, at least eighty percent of your class fails every year, professor. It includes people who rank highest in some of the other classes. Strange, don't you think?"

Only Min Yoongi has the guts to do this. And only he gets a free pass after doing it. When the professor simply points you in the direction of the seats, Yoongi pulls you by the hand he’s still holding and sits you down. There’s immediately talk going around, people discussing if you were back together and all that. That’s when he snaps out of it and lets your hand go. So you’re finally able to let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. Then, he goes to one of the back seats and sits down himself. And you quietly wonder why that hurts you.

It's Hoseok's first day back and the two of you are enjoying some coffee at Ryu's shop, after a long school day.

"Y/N, I've got some bad news." he says, looking gloomy all of a sudden.

"Wha- hurry up and tell me." You hate the suspense, it makes you worry.

"I haven't been able to find a studio that we can continue the album with." He looks really upset. That's only natural, he's been working on this project for over a year now. Before you broke up with Yoongi, Hoseok was writing and producing a mixtape in Yoongi's studio with you and Yoongi's help. After you parted ways, the mixtape was put on hold.

"I've saved a lot of money this summer. We can look into some expensive ones too, I'm sure we can-"

"It's not the money, Y/N. I can't work on it the way I want to in any of those other studios. Even if it's one of the expensive ones." he cuts in. Yes, Yoongi was probably the only person to let Hoseok do his own thing.

"Well then, you should talk to Yoongi. I'm sure he'll be cool with working with you, still. As long as I don't show up, it should be fine."

He rolls his eyes. "I can't do it without you, Y/N. I'll need your help, so you'll have to show up eventually."

It's your turn to roll your eyes. You don't want anything to do with that studio. But you know how important this mixtape is to Hoseok, so you say okay. Even though you doubt Yoongi would be fine with you being there.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. In his damned, cursed, beautiful leather jacket... This time there's no hat so you can fully observe his bleached hair and notice how it's grown longer.

"Would you really be okay with it? I don't wanna put you in this position, no. Let's just forget it-"

"Hoseok-ie, you're lovely. But for now, shut up." You get up and make your way to Yoongi's table. Hoseok's mixtape has to be done, no matter what. Seems like he hasn't noticed you so you clear your throat to grab his attention.

"What?" he asks, not looking at you. Your blood slowly starts to boil.

"I need to ask you something-"

"Ryu, I kinda need that coffee asap, buddy!" He cuts you off by hollering at the barista and starts to gather his things. He really must want to get on your nerves.

"Actually, first things first, why in the bloody hell are you still coming here?" You can't help but lash out again. You discovered this place after all, you have the right to claim it.

"Excuse me?"

"I showed you this place, it's my territory. Don't you know the break-up rules?"

He laughs at that. In such a condescending way that you regret saying it. He stops getting ready and settles on the table once again. "You're cute."

Oh, you're so close to smacking him on the head.

"And you're an asshole."

Ryu comes with Yoongi's order and leaves it on the table. "I thought you were in a hurry." He says while heading back to the counter.

"I suddenly wanna stay longer." Yoongi states, looking straight at you.

Every fiber of your being wants to avoid his eyes and run away from there, he knows exactly how to make you vulnerable. But you endure. For Hoseok.

"I'll get to the point. Hoseok needs to keep working with you. Our situation shouldn't effect his mixtape, don't you think?"

He switches to serious mode quickly. "Was this your idea or his?"

"What does it matter-"

"I'm only okay with it if he wants to do it on his own will and not by you forcing him."

Okay, you do get a little bossy sometimes but he didn't have to put it as harsh as that.

"He wants to. He refused other studios and all that."

You think you see his lips curve into a small smile for a second. Hoseok and Yoongi got along very well, actually. You never wanted for them to stop being friends, anyway. This might be a chance for them to catch up even. Of course, there's a slight problem.

"But- he says he can't do it without... well, me. He wants to make sure that you're okay with-"

"Not a problem." Yoongi unexpectantly cuts you off. You're rendered speechless due to shock. He finally turns his head and looks at you. "My studio is a workplace, Y/N. Why would it bother me when you're there for work purposes? Especially when you're essential to the process."

Yoongi's sense of kindness is a very strong thing. But it's well hidden under all the coldness and sarcasm. You'd know, it had taken you a while to get to it. But when you did, it made you fall for him even harder at the time. And now, even though things between you are over, you can still see it.

"Thanks..." is all you can say while turning around to go back but suddenly your feet stop and turn back around. "Actually, thanks for before with Professor Sol, too. Even though you don't need to stand up for me anymore-"

"It's not that I needed to, Y/N. It's that I wanted to."

He goes back to gathering his stuff and you head back to give Hoseok the details of how it went. Just as you're about to, Yoongi stops by your table before leaving.

"Hoseok-ie, text me later to come up with a schedule for studio hours, okay?"

Hoseok is visibly happy and responds with a big smile. "Sure thing."

It's been three weeks since Hoseok started to work at Yoongi's studio again. But today is the first time that you'll be going there since the break-up. Even though time has passed, you're still not used to being around Yoongi all the time. Like having to attend almost all the classes with him and also, well... without him.

Without him sitting next to you, practically glued to your side, while you both silently giggle in the middle of the lecture as he whispers stupid jokes in your ear. The fact that you're consantly around him (not by choice by the way) prevents you from getting over him.

And now the studio... One of the most dangerous places for you now because of the memories you have with him there. You know, an intimate, indoor space with dim lights... A perfect spot for activities you definitely don't want to be reminded of. But for your best friend Hoseok, you have to go.

When you arrive, you call Hoseok to open up the door, too nervous to ring the doorbell. Once you enter, your giggly friend drags you hurriedly into the recording room.

"Okay warm your voice up. We should start with the vocals-"

"Wow there, pickle." you say. Vocals were maybe the only thing you told him you wouldn't do. What did he think? That he could hurry you into it and you wouldn't notice? "What vocals, Hoseok? I'm here to arrange, mix and maybe write some melodies, you know that."

"Shhh... look you gotta. Otherwise Yoongi's gonna have some other girl do it and I don't want that."

What girl? For as long as you can remember, Yoongi has tried to get you to sing. For Hoseok's and other albums. But you don't have confidence in your voice so you've always refused. And now he just wants some other girl?

"Have you told him you don't want that?"

"Yes, obviously. He told me if I can't convince you, we had no other choice. So c'mon, just try for me? Pleaseee?"

You sneakily glance out the window to see Yoongi talking with the said girl. She’s probably from your school even though you haven’t seen her here before. She’s standing a bit too close to Yoongi’s chair and leaning on him a little but that’s none of your business. And you definetely don’t care. But still, you can’t have someone whom Hoseok’s not comfortable with, sing in his own damn album.

You go out the room and toward Yoongi and the girl. “We need to speak.” you say and head for the other room. Yoongi huffs while following after you.

“What is it miss grumpy?”

You roll your eyes. “Are you really pulling an ultimatom on me like this? Hoseok clearly isn’t okay with this girl-”

“Hoseok isn’t okay with anyone but you. This isn’t my ultimatom, it’s his. Marley’s like the third person I asked to do this and he didn’t like any of them. Because what he wants is your voice. You really can’t see that Y/N?”

He sounds fed up and exhausted. What he says makes sense too, since you know how stubborn and sneaky your best friend can be.

He continues. “Look, if we want the album to proceed there are three options. First is Marley does the vocals and Hoseok will be unhappy about it. Second is there’ll be no female vocals which will make the whole thing empty and far from what we planned. Or third, you can do them and save us all the grimace.”

He makes it seem like he doesn’t care which you’ll go with but in his eyes, you can see hope that you’ll say yes to the third. But no. You’re not ready, you can’t. In your mind, you suck. So you convince Hoseok to go with Marley for now.

So, days go by. Marley comes pretty often to record. Hoseok’s not frowning that much about it anymore. And you notice how every chance she gets, Marley is pulling the moves on Yoongi. Which seem to work, since sometimes they come in or leave together. None of it bothers you at all, you tell yourself.

One day, you come in pretty late at night remembering you left your notes there. Since you have a spare key, you think you can be in and out unnoticed. Silly you because once you hear Yoongi playing the piano, you can’t just leave. You wait outside the room until he’s done and some stupid momentary courage makes you go in.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” you instantly say when you see Marley sitting next to him. “I just forgot my- I was leaving-”

“Wait!” Yoongi says hurridly to stop you. “We were done here anyway.”

Marley doesn’t look happy but gets up and leaves.

“No really, I got my notes and I was about to head out. She doesn’t need to leave on my account-”

“It’s not on your account. But since you came in here, you must have something to say?”

Why does it feel like he wants you to say something? Why does it seem like he wants you to stay? You’re convinced it’s your own mind playing tricks on you.

“No. I don’t.” you lie with a broken voice. But your feet aren’t leaving. And Yoongi is still staring at you with a cold attitude but expecting eyes.

“Fine.” you give up and say. “I thought the piano room wasn’t allowed to just anyone. I guess since she was in here...” you cut yourself off. The piano room was kind of your special place when you were together. Nobody other than you was allowed in here. This is the place you two would spend hours and hours coming up with songs. Or just talking about things you shared only with each other.

“I’m just giving her piano lessons for some extra cash. And this room doesn’t mean much to me anymore.”

His answer dissappoints you. Not the part that he indirectly said they weren’t dating. The latter part. “And here I thought the whole secrecy of the piano room was just your way of pulling the moves on whoever you’re dating.” As long as the sentence is finished, you regret saying it. You know it isn’t right. What you said is unfair to every intimate and meaningful moment you had with him here. And your words come down like the last drop on his patience.

He shoots out of the seat. “If I wasn’t so goddamn sure that you already know how you’re the first person I ever brought in here, I’d be hurt. But instead I’m just pissed.”

He’s right to be. So you can’t say anything back.

“How can you even-” he stops for a moment. “But that’s just your way, isn’t it? Spit out venom whenever you don’t like something.”

“Me?” you ask in shock. Now this you can’t have. “No. Poisonous words are your specialty.”

“And you already left me for it, didn’t you? You left me so why would you care who I bring in here anyway?” He’s switched to his shouting voice now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But I left because you pushed me away, Yoongi.” He averts his gaze to the floor while you continue. “I know that you love music more than anything else but what I also happen to know is that you use it as an escape. An excuse to not get too close. But guess what? We were already too close for me to not realise what you were doing! And that is why I left!”

Both of you are obviously done shouting and silence takes over the room for a while. You already had to push back tears like twice now, so you decide to leave but just then, Yoongi has something to say.

“This room will never have any significance with anyone else besides you. Just know that.” he silently admits with his eyes still fixed on the ground. You don’t say anything and just walk away.

It’s nearly the end of the semester and Hoseok’s mixtape is finally finished. He was so exited that he accidentely published it three times in a row on soundcloud. And the fact that he’s getting some great feedback is the icing on top.

In the meantime, you’ve been doing a lot of thinking. After that fight with Yoongi, you’ve started to seriously consider the fact that maybe leaving him just like that was a mistake. Because yes, you were hurt that after all you had been through, he was still trying to keep you at bay. You felt like as you were falling completely and irreversably for him, he was still holding back. But when you left, you were gone all the way. Leaving him all alone when you knew he was hurt.

Spending the last couple of months together, you finally admitted to yourself that you missed him. And that it did bother you seeing him with other girls. It bothered you that Marley was so obviously into him. Even though he made it clear he wasn’t interested, you still felt... jealous.

But you never mustered up the courage to talk to him about any of these. Even though it seems like lately he’s trying not to be cold around you, trying to strike up random converstions in efforts to perhaps recover at least your friendship. For some stupid reason you can’t seem to dare let him back in.

Your buzzing phone pulls you out of your thoughts. You check and see it’s your best friend that you’ve been feeling extra proud of these days.

“Yes, my successful, on his way to become a star best friend?”

“Oh my god, Y/N. You won’t believe this!” he squeaks while talking. And you hate the suspense so you tell him to hurry up and tell you what’s up.

“Yoongi’s friend in radio 12 agreed to play the title song!”

“What??” you start to squeak in exitement as well. “When? When will it be on?”

“In about two minutes! Just put the station on, now!” he orders and hangs up immediately. He’ll probably call his parents next. You quickly do as he says and for sure, the next song is Hoseok’s title track. You start hopping in your bed, dancing around in your room with the dumbest smile on your face but then-

The bridge comes and it’s your voice. That’s impossible, you think. But it is you singing the bridge. And then it hits you. That one night you snuck into the studio with your spare key and recorded this exact bit, just to see how it’d be... As always, you thought it wasn’t good enough. But instead of deleting, you hid the file. Guess you couldn’t hide it that well, after all. Was it Hoseok that did this? Or...

Your phone buzzes again and once again it’s Hoseok. “Y/N- This was the best surprise you ever made for me. I’m literally about to cry, you sound so good! Thank you for doing this.”

It wasn’t Hoseok, then. But you’re thrilled to know he likes it that much. You’re thrilled to hear yourself on a freaking radio station that so many people listen to! It feels amazing. It gives you so much confidence. So much that after ending the call with Hoseok, you decide to go to the only person left who could’ve done this.

You’re at Yoongi’s door. You haven’t been here for a long time but despite the nervousness, you manage to knock. It’s pretty late but you know he’s a night owl, he should be up. Soon enough, he opens the door. He’s taken aback to see you at first but then his surprised expression turns into worry.

“I know why you’re here. I’m sorry I used the recording without your consent but-”

You launch yourself onto him and crash your lips on his. His response is so quick that it’s almost automatic. He pulls you in even more, closes the door with his foot and traps your body againts the wall with his own. All the while not parting your lips once. Your hands go to his hair. You’ve been wanting to brush your fingers through his hair ever since you’ve seen that he bleached it again after two years. You pull at the tips slightly. It makes him hum into your mouth.

“Wait-” he says while he pulls away suddenly. “You-” You’re both out of breath. “Are you really okay with what I did?”

“Yes.” You close the distance once again and this time he moves you to the couch. You’ve missed this couch. You’ve missed him...

He pulls back again. “Y/N- wait. What are we doing?”

“What do you think?” you tease as your lips travel down to his neck.

“I wanna talk to you first, though.” he manages to say between his panting.

“So talk.” you say and go back to the week spots on his neck, secretly smiling against his skin.

“You’re not-” he swallows a groan. “exactly making it easy.” He then pulls your head up to face him and gives you another long kiss. But this time not out of the heat of the moment. Instead with so much meaning engraved on it.

“Y/N... I never meant to hurt you.” he says staring into your eyes. “You were right, I was a coward but- I swear if you give me another chance, I will give it my all. I’ll be a thousand percent in.”

You smile. He looks so much like a lost puppy that it makes you want to tease him. “Well, prove that to me right now then.” you say slyly.

“Uhh- I will. I- I’m gonna go dye my hair brown, right now. I bleached it to get your attention, anyway. Not to attract others, I promise.” he says in panic.

You burst into laughter. When you first started dating, you talked him into not bleaching his hair anymore. You always said it was only for his health but he always knew you were jealous of girls getting attracted because of it, too. “No, don’t. I actually missed how even hotter it makes you look. Let’s keep that for now.” you say. “I was kidding, you don’t have to do or say any-”

“I love you.”

You pause. It’s not the first time he tells you that. But this time he says it in such a way that you’re certain it’s the real thing. Even more real than before. “I love you, too.”

“So...” he leans into you and whispers in your ear. “Couch or bed?”

You both giggle. “Surprise me.” you whisper back and he quickly tries to lift you but fails, making you both laugh out loud. “Umm- I haven’t been working out lately, baby. I’m sorry.” he says between giggles.

Between all the laughter, you silently thank him for giving you another chance, too. And make a mental promise that you won’t give this up so easily ever again.

....

A/N: This was my first Yoongi fic and I feel good about it. It’s really hard to imagine Yoongi not being a god at music so anytime I use him as a character, he’s always a prodigy lol. I can’t help it he’s just really good. Anyways if you’ve bared with this, thank you sooo much for reading and I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did. Always wash your hands and stay healthy :)

[deborahsaustralianlitblog]

Week #13 Blog:

The House At The Bottom Of The Hill

Jennie Jones

pages read (1-60)

word count: 486

Summary:

As the book begins we are introduced to the main characters and their small suburban town in northern Australia, it's a small town where everyone knows each other. The main character Daniel Bradford who owns the B&B in town, which is also right next to the bar where he usually encounters his friend Ethan who drags his little boy everywhere, is described as a very adorable young man. Now the city councils usually meet up weekly to discuss new events, and possible problems that need to be solved. As a new red head comes into town, she's clearly seen as a threat to the man all around, she storms in that council making her presence known, and ready to dominate. She might be new, but she wants everyone to know who she is. She is clearly confident. Though Bradford sees competition and tries to not seem intimated, which he clearly is, he can’t help but notice her beauty.

Analysis:

The quote I'm choosing to analyze from this week’s reading is on page 10 that states, “He wasn’t interested in the redhead’s love life – if she had one.” This quote was the first quote of the book from the first 10 pages that had been broughten up to my attention. This is what really made me think Dan had a crush on the new redhead in town. And it's one of those crushes that you know you shouldn't have and you feel obligated to hide it from everyone because there is some weird competition between the two. It's only the beginning of the story though, and I have a strong feeling that a romance will flourish between the two in the future. This quote also demonstrates how Dan is curious about the redhead’s love life, he tries to play it off, and be cool about it, but if you look between the lines you can see a bit of curiosity in the tone and diction.

Personal response:

I know the book has just started but so far I am really enjoying it, it's fresh and cool. I was craving a romance novel after reading nonfiction for almost a whole semester. I can already tell by the plot of the story so far that this is going to be a good book. I love romance novels that are enemies to lovers, 2 rivals. They always make the coolest couples in my opinion. And when they finally confess their love for each other, it makes me want to cry, I just love it. Thats why Im looking forward to reading “The House At The Bottom Of The Hill '' I read some reviews and most of them were all postive. Along with that I'm curious to see if they are going to use the same amount of Australian slang like how they did in my nonfiction book “In A Sunburned Country”. They haven't so far, but we’ll see.