#you should understand where i’m coming from

[traveler-at-heart]

Doctor's In - Chapter 11

Summary: You try to fix your relationship with Wanda.

Yelena struggles to open her eyes. The constant beeping of the alarm annoys her, and she protests.

“Five more minutes” she pleads, reaching out to snooze it.

“Yelena. It’s me” a soft voice says, and she can feel fingers caressing her forehead. “It’s Mama”

“Mama, I don’t wanna go to school” Yelena says, earning a chuckle from Melina.

“You’re in the hospital, sweet girl” her mother says. “You almost drowned”

It all comes back to her in a rush. The feeling of sinking, the freezing water paralyzing her. Your voice, asking her to stay awake.

“Y/N. Is she ok? Where is she?” she tries to stand up, but her mother stops her. Natasha walks in that moment, locking eyes with her sister. “Something happened to Y/N”

“No. She’s ok” Natasha shakes her head.

“Then why do you look so worried? Don’t lie to me” Yelena asks, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I’m not lying, sestra. You just scared me, that’s all” Natasha promises, leaning her forehead against her sister’s.

She tries to pretend everything’s ok.

—

Wanda is in your arms, reassuring you. It’s overwhelming, to feel her, to hear her.

Knowing what you just did.

And it all comes crashing down.

The stress of the past months, the lack of sleep, your resentment towards your mother and your last encounter. A sob breaks out and you can’t stop crying, because you fucked up.

Wanda’s gonna hate you, she’s going to leave you.

You wish you had drowned, because it’s better to die than to hurt the only person you’ve truly ever loved.

“Wanda, I…” your voice shakes. Your girlfriend looks at you, alarmed. She’s never seen you this shaken.

“Baby, look at me. You’re safe. I’m here” she tries to calm you down, but your sobs intensify.

“What’s wrong?” Darcy appears behind you, trying to check for any internal injuries. “Hey, Y/N. You’re hyperventilating. You know what you need to do. Breathe. In and out. Ok. Just like I’m doing”

You allow Darcy’s voice to guide you, while Wanda stays by your side.

“I…” you stutter.

“I think we should keep her in observation for a bit. Maybe she’s in shock or had a concussion. Did you hit your head?” Darcy asks. “Ok, come with me. Wanda, we will be right back”

“Ok. Hey. It’s ok” she says against your lips. “I’m not leaving”

Wanda’s gonna leave when she finds out. And you won’t blame her. But as your thoughts spiral, and you begin to hyperventilate again, Darcy drags you to an exam room.

“What happened? Talk to me, Y/N”

“I should have died out there. She’s gonna leave me, Darcy” you cry out.

“Damn it, ok, breathe. Do you want me to give you… something? Just to calm you down”

“Ok. And page Carol. I need to talk to her”

“Yeah. Ok”

Carol joins you a couple of minutes later.

“Hey” she looks between you and Darcy, not knowing how much she can say.

“She asked me to page you. What the hell happened? She’s having a nervous breakdown” Darcy hisses. Add her to the list of people who have never seen you lose your shit.

“Just tell her” you mutter, looking away. You need someone to say it out loud, so it’s real. And you can understand how much you fucked up.

“I walked in on Natasha and Y/N kissing just now” Carol says, looking at you with pity in her eyes.

“What the hell were you…?” Darcy’s first instinct is to yell at you, but as she sees you shutting your eyes, she calms down. “Ok, just tell me what happened”

“I don’t know. I walked in to find some gauze for this scratch on my arm and then she was there and she kissed me and I didn’t pull away. Not at first”

“So she kissed you?” Darcy clarifies. “You didn’t go after Natasha?”

“No, I wasn’t… I thought she’d be worried about Yelena and when she came in, I assumed something bad had happened” you stumbled with your words. It’s all a blur.

“You weren’t kissing when I walked in. She had her hands in your neck but you were leaning back” Carol says.

“I don’t give a fuck, it doesn’t matter. Wanda won’t care. I fucked up, it’s over”

“I think it’s important to… make the distinction. That she went after you. If you tell Wand at all” Carol adds.

You sigh, looking at your best friend. The one person who has been a constant in your life, who knows how much you struggle. The only one who understands that Wanda is your world. And how devastated you’ll be if when you lose her.

“I think you should tell her” Darcy says. “I’m sorry, I do. I know you’re honest and you’d never be able to live with yourself if you don’t tell her”

Not only that, but knowing what you know about Wanda and how she got cheated in the past. You can’t lie to her.

Even if it means losing her.

“I’ll do whatever you want” Carol says, squeezing your hand. “I won’t ever judge you, Y/N. If you decide to keep it a secret, I’ll take it to my grave. I swear”

“Thanks, Carol” you sigh, wiping the tears that won’t stop. “I need to get home and calm down. She deserves to hear it when I’m sane and won’t make up a stupid excuse hoping she’ll forgive me”

“I really think you can get past this” Carol says before leaving the room.

“I hope so too” you try to smile.

But the truth is you’re not very optimistic.

—

The next day, you refuse to leave the room. You’re not sure if you catched a cold with the freezing water or it’s your body’s response to the stress of what happened, but you run a fever that knocks you down.

At one point, you dream about the encounter with your mother. But it’s not her outside the hospital. It’s Wanda, and she’s hitting you as she finds out you’re a liar.

Your eyes fly open and you sit up, running to the bathroom to throw up. As you look in the mirror, you understand one thing.

You’re not gonna be able to keep this up any longer. You have to tell Wanda.

She’s nowhere to be found, probably because it’s a school day and someone has to drive the kids. While you wait for her to return, you run a bath and try to clear your head.

How are you even starting?

When you hear Wanda come back, your stomach drops, but you push through, sitting in bed.

“There you are. How are you feeling, my love?” she greets with a smile.

“I’m ok, I guess” you manage to say, looking anywhere but her.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me” Wanda says, knowing something’s changed. Truthfully, she’s expecting to hear that this life and death experience made you realize you want something different in your life.

Someone else.

“I… Wanda. I’m so sorry” you whisper, tears rolling down your cheeks. “I didn’t want it to happen”

“What? What are you talking about?”

With a deep breath, you finally say the words that will change your relationship forever.

“Natasha kissed me. We kissed. I mean, I didn’t look for her, she just walked in the room and then she was kissing me, but that doesn’t really make a difference, right?”

Wanda stays silent for a second, and then turns to leave the room.

“I’m going to kill her”

“Wanda” you catch up to her, stopping her at the top of the stairs. “Wait, please”

“No! Who does she think she is? Everything was fine between us, and then she comes and you’re pulling back. And now she thinks she can kiss you and I won’t fight back? Seems like someone should put her in her place”

“I don’t care about her” you plead, taking Wanda’s hand.

“You’re mine”

“Of course I am” you agree, trying to pull Wanda into a hug. She relents, but you can tell she’s tense and struggling with your closeness. “Wanda, I love you. I’m sorry, I didn’t want this to happen, I’ll do anything to make it right, just please, please…”

“Did you kiss her back?” Wanda pushes you away suddenly.

“I… don’t know. It happened so fast. I didn’t even think. I pulled away”

“But before that, did you kiss her back?” Wanda insists, looking at you expectantly.

“Wanda, I don’t know. She just came out of nowhere and I was trying to recover from almost drowning”

“I think… I think you should leave” she interrupts you. “You told me you were different, that you’d never lie to me”

“I didn’t…”

“Please, leave” she raises her hand to stop you. “I just can’t look at you right now”

Looking down, you nod. As you walk back to pack a bag with clothes and other stuff, Wanda stays rooted to her spot in the hallway.

You want to say something, but words are not enough to convey everything you feel. “Sorry” is an understatement. “I love you”? It feels like you lost the right to say that.

So, you walk out of the house, and drive to a hotel, wondering if it’s really that easy to lose your entire world.

—

The next days are hell.

You really wish you’d drown that day on the river.

There’s a hotel close to the hospital, and you stay there, wallowing in self pity and regret. You ignore everyone’s text and calls, because you’ll only answer one person.

She never reaches out.

“Hey, bud” Darcy greets when you get to work after two days. “I take it it didn’t go well”

“Nope” is all you say, not wanting to talk about it at all. You need work, distractions. Or a bus than runs you over. Whichever is fine.

“I’m here if you want to talk” is all she says, knowing you’d rather not.

“Thanks”

Kate greets you, a little too cheerful for your liking. Maybe it’s because she has the ER for herself. Speaking of which, you don’t even know if Yelena was discharged.

“Is Belova ok?” you say, looking at all the reports you need to sign.

“Yes, she left yesterday. And, uh… Doctor Romanoff was asking for you” Kate hesitates.

“I’m not speaking to Romanoff under any circumstances. If she asks again, tell her I said she can go to hell” you answer with a harsh tone.

“Maybe I could say you’re very busy?”

“Whatever keeps her away from me” you agree, walking to the entrance as an ambulance parks outside.

It’s a hectic day and you appreciate it. You also lose track of how many times you go out to smoke. At some point, you give up waiting for Wanda to call you.

Actually, now you don’t want her to reach out at all. You’re not ready to hear her say it’s over, so at least now you can pretend there’s a chance you’ll get past this.

“Did you sleep at all?” Carol says when she sees you next morning.

“For a half hour, maybe”

“Listen, you need to…”

But whatever well intended advice she’s about to give is interrupted by Fury.

“Doctor Romanoff would like a word”

“I’m busy”

“Not for her, you’re not” he cuts you off, practically pushing you in the direction of a conference room.

This is a new low, using Fury to talk to you.

“Doctor Romanoff, I’m so sorry, as you can imagine our Head of Trauma is busy” Fury says, moving so you can step forward. “Meet Doctor Y/L Y/L/N”

Wait, what?

A brunette approaches you with a wide smile. She has the same nose as Natasha, and even if her eyes are more hazel than green, you definitely see the resemblance in the determined stare.

“I can’t thank you enough for saving my daughter’s life”

Right. That Doctor Romanoff.

“Just doing my job” you say, hoping Natasha won’t join you.

“She’s eager to get back to work. Yelena said you’re a fantastic teacher” the woman says, smiling.

“Well, she definitely has a lot to learn” you say, which makes both people in the room turn to you.

“Doctor Y/L/N” Fury warns. But you don’t give a fuck. You want them gone from the hospital and the city and your life.

“Yelena’s good, but she could be better. That reckless behavior almost got me killed. She also needs to move faster and be more precise. Her work can be sloppy”

“Thank you, Doctor Y/L/N. That would be all” Fury cuts you off.

You nod, avoiding Melina’s stare as you leave the room.

Unfortunately for you, one of her daughters is waiting outside.

“Can we talk?” Natasha says. You ignore her, walking back to the ER. “What? Seriously?”

She grabs your wrist and you finally turn around.

“Don’t. I have absolutely nothing to say to you, Romanoff”

“What? Did your girlfriend forbid you to talk to me?”

“You don’t think about her or talk about her or anything related to Wanda. Stay away from me” you say, opening the door. Of course she follows you before you can lock yourself in, blocking the only way out.

“I didn’t think you’d be such a fucking coward, Y/N” she accuses you.

“Excuse me?”

“You kissed me back”

“I did not!” you kick the chair next to you, groaning. “I had just seen my abusive mother and almost drowned saving your sister. Do you really think I had the mental capacity to act rationally? I was still on fight or flight, Natasha”

“Lie to yourself all you want, but you’re not gonna lie to me. I know the way you look at me”

“Which is?”

“Like you’re picturing me naked”

You scoff at that, looking away.

“I don’t hear you denying it” she challenges, stepping closer.

“Don’t”

“If you were really sure about your feelings, you’d tell me to go to hell and move on. You wouldn’t be looking around the room, desperate to find a way out” Natasha says, moving closer and closer, until you’re inches apart. “Because if we stay this close, you know damn well that we’re gonna end up fucking each other”

“Please, stop” you say, trying to push past her. Natasha takes your wrists, and pulls you closer, letting you decide.

And you pull away. You do.

“Don’t mistake attraction with devotion. Wanda is all I want and need. I’m not playing games. Stay away from me”

You try to look composed as you leave the room, but in your mind, you know you hesitated.

A fraction of a second, but it was hesitation nonetheless.

—

Carol finds you outside the hospital, smoking as usual.

“Though shift?”

“You could say that”

You stare at her as she takes the cigarrette from your hands.

“Don’t tell Maria” she warns you and you laugh.

“Nu-uh, you need to be on your best behavior. One of us has to have a happy ending”

“Did you tell her?” Carol asks.

“Yeah. She kicked me out. Which is a very nice reaction. If I were her, I would have run me over repeatedly with her car” you sigh, lighting another one. “And now Natasha’s on my ass, saying I can’t deny that I have feelings for her too, when all I’ve done is be friendly”

“Ok, don’t shoot the messenger, Y/N, but it was obvious you two were flirting” Carol says. You stay quiet, and since you don’t argue, the woman takes it a sign to continue. “Look, when Maria came back… I hesitated too. I never told you this, but I wasn’t just trying to move on from her. I liked you, your committment to work. How kind you are. Honestly, with a little more time I could have seen myself in a different situation”

“But?”

“But Maria came back and I made a choice. What I’m saying is… I don’t think it’s unnatural for people to be attracted to others, even if you’re in a relationship. We seek connection, and surgeons have a fucked up schedule and life that only other doctors understand. Of course you felt something”

“Natasha is… a challenge. She’s funny and stubborn and quick witted. She doesn’t give a fuck about anything except work. It’s like an adventure” you finally admit out loud, knowing Carol understands. “But Wanda is my family. And I can’t lose that”

“There you go. I think admitting that you feel attraction is how you move past this. The important thing is if you act on it” Carol insists.

You think back to the encounter you had with Natasha just now.

You pulled back.

This time, she didn’t just kiss you. She gave you a choice. And you made the decision to step away.

That’s gotta count for something. Right?

“Thanks, Carol” you sigh, feeling better for the first time in days. To your surprise, Darcy comes next.

“Is it my turn now? I’m freezing, Danvers” she complains.

“Turn for what?”

“Well, this is an intervention” Carol explains, leaving the spot next to you so Darcy can sit.

“An intervention? Next to the trash? Really?” you say, looking around.

“You practically live here with all the smoking. Which, by the way, stops now” Darcy says, throwing away the pack you’re holding. “Now, as you know I briefly considered a career in Psychiatry. So I’m going to give you my analysis”

“Ugh, I hate this” you mutter. In spite of everything you’ve been through, you’ve never once considered going to therapy.

You have a job and a life. You’re obviously fine.

“Ready? I’m about to tell you some harsh truths. You can cry if you want to” Darcy says, settling. “You don’t believe you deserve good things. Of course, your mother showing up out of nowhere didn’t help. You’re self sabotaging because you think you don’t deserve Wanda. It’s a self fulfilled propechy. And it’s frankly stupid. You don’t need to fight your demons on this one. Just tell Romanoff to piss off and go get your girl. Speak up, tell her how you feel. This passive shit of wallowing in self pity is beneath you”

“Wow, anything else?” you say, trying not to be offended.

“Yes” Darcy says, looking at you. “You’re my best friend. I want you to be happy. Don’t cry” she snaps when tears roll down your cheeks.

“You just told me I could cry!” you complain, laughing at her.

“Yeah, well. I changed my mind. Now come on” Darcy nudges your side. “I’m freezing”

—

It’s uncharacteriscally quiet lately. No one says anything, but Pietro can feel it.

Your absence is the most obvious sign that something’s wrong.

Wanda can lie to the kids and tell them you’re working day shifts, but Pietro is not easily fooled. He never hears you come in, or leave.

You haven’t been home in a week.

“What’s going on?” he finally asks when Wanda’s doing the dishes, the twins fast asleep.

“What do you mean?” she plays dumb, without turning to look at her brother.

“She’s not working. Did you fight?”

“Leave it” Wanda says.

“No. You’re obviously not fine and I can imagine how Y/N’s doing”

“Y/N is very busy fucking that Russian” Wanda spits out, finally turning to look at her brother.

“You mean she cheated on you?”

“That woman… kissed her. And now, I kicked her out and heaven knows what she must be thinking. It’s perfect for Natasha, isn’t it? She didn’t have to try that hard to break us apart”

“Ok, so it was a kiss? Or more? I think you need to start over” Pietro asks, sitting at the kitchen counter and leaving his crutches against the wall.

So, Wanda tells him everything. How you began to spend more time at the hospital, and she got jealous and pushed you away as response. How her insecurities and your attitude made things harder and put you through a rough patch.

“But… she told you right after it happened?” Pietro tries to understand the timeline. “And it was just a kiss?”

“It’s not about the kiss. It’s about swearing nothing was going on, making me feel like I was acting crazy and…”

“How do you know she didn’t think the same thing?” his brother says, which makes her stop talking. Wanda shrugs her shoulders. “Maybe she thought they were friends. The thing is, she was honest, Wanda”

“Yeah, but…”

“You can’t let your past influence your future. I know he hurt you and it’s not easy to trust people. But not everything’s black and white. Do you honestly think Y/N was trying to hurt you?”

“Of course not” she says, shaking her head. “I just don’t know how I will get over this…”

“So it’s better to pretend nothing’s wrong?”

Pietro couldn’t say it without hurting his sister, but she was always so afraid of taking risks. And now she took the easy way out.

“Look, avoiding the issue won’t solve anything. If you want to fix it, do it. If you really can’t get past what happened, you at least need some closure” he says, his tone becoming softer as Wanda’s eyes well up with tears.

“I just hate this. I wish we could just go back to how everything was” Wanda sobs, covering her mouth. “And I miss her so much”

“Maybe you should tell her that” Pietro struggles to stand up, and goes to hug his sister. “It will be ok, sestra”

—

It’s kind of shitty to be happy over having a lot of injured people on your shift. But you’re so exhausted you’re positive you’ll pass out the minute you get home.

Well, the hotel.

That minor correction stings.

Your room’s a mess, but you’ll clean it up after you get some rest.

There’s a knock on the door right as you plop down in bed and you sigh.

“I don’t need any room cleaning, thank you!”

“It’s Wanda”

You get whiplash at those words, running to open the door.

“Hi” you say, trying to not sound too anxious. There’s a pang of guilt as you notice the bags under Wanda’s eyes.

“Hi. Can I come in?”

“Sure. Yeah” you step aside. “Uh, sorry about the mess. Work’s been crazy”

“So listen… I think we need to talk” she says, looking back at you.

“Oh”

So she’s here to break up with you. You stay quiet, urging her to continue.

“I… I’m not happy with this situation. Honestly, I really wished you had set boundaries with that woman from the start. I don’t know if you were just being friendly or a part of you was attracted to her at all”

“Wanda, I…”

“I don’t think I’m interested in knowing the answer to that. But I do know that we’re not gonna fix this by staying apart” she says, crossing her arms.

“Oh, so you wanna fix… I thought you were here to break up with me” you sigh, your shoulders relaxing at the realization that she’s giving you another chance.

“I have some conditions”

“Very reasonable. And my answer is yes to everything” you hurry to say, scared that she’ll change her mind.

“You sure you don’t wanna hear them? What if one of them is doing the laundry for a month?” she teases and seeing her smile is like a breath of fresh air.

“Wanda, I’ll cook forever if you ask me to”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It’s not like we can eat pancakes every day”

You both smile at that, and you let her take the first step, reaching for your hand.

“Pack your things, and I’ll meet you back home” she says, giving you a light squeeze.

“Ok, babe” you nod, wanting to kiss her. But she pulls away before you can lean forward, smiling.

You really hope there’s a way you can fix everything.

Because losing Wanda is simply not something you can deal with.

—

The first week back is definitely challenging.

As soon as you get home the boys run to hug you and you try really hard not to cry. You thought you’d never see them again. Pietro gives you a knowing look but keeps whatever he has to say to himself.

That first night you take the kids out to the arcade and to eat pizza, and though you’re a little disappointed when Wanda declines to join you, you understand she must be exhausted.

When you come home, you find a blanket and a pillow in the sofa. The message is pretty clear, but you take it without complaining and sleep there.

It was unrealistic to expect everything would be back to normal right away.

“How’s work?” Wanda asks one morning when you’re getting some coffee, ready to leave.

“It’s better. We’re not as short staffed anymore. Why? Do you need me to take some time off? I’ll talk to Fury” you hurry to say, desperate to prove your worth to Wanda.

“No, that’s fine. Uh… is she still there? I mean do you still have to take that course?” she asks, looking away.

“Oh. No. I mean, yeah, she’s still there but we don’t talk and I haven’t joined the last sessions. Darcy just brings me up to speed later”

“I don’t want you getting into trouble. I can manage if you have to be there” Wanda says, curious about your answer.

“It’s fine, love. I’m busy in the ER anyway” you appease her, reaching for a Pop-Tart. As you leave, you kiss her cheek out of pure habit, too busy with picking up your things to remember Wanda’s been avoiding physical contact. “Catch you later, have a good day”

“Yeah, you too” Wanda’s hand goes to the spot you just kissed, blushing.

Your day starts as usual, and you make sure you don’t leave the ER unless it is absolutely necessary. Thankfully, Yelena is eager to do any task you assign to her. That way, you avoid running into her sister.

At some point, you do have to go to the front desk to deliver some schedules and signed discharges.

“We have missed you these past sessions” someone says behind you.

You recognise Melina’s voice and answer without looking up.

“ER is very hectic”

You think that’s the end of the conversation until she asks something that almost makes you turn.

“So, which one of my daughter’s pissed you off?”

The only sign of surprise you show is how you stop writing for a second, but then you keep going.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand”

“I think you do, Doctor Y/L/N”

“Excuse me” you say, saved by your pager.

Melina hangs around, waiting for you to come back and finish the conversation, or find either Natasha or Yelena to get them to fess up.

The woman is looking around when a brunette joins her in the front desk, greeting the receptionist.

“I’ll page Doctor Y/L/N”

“Are you a patient of hers?” Melina says, looking at the woman up and down.

“I’m her girlfriend” Wanda answers, feeling like there’s something familiar about the woman.

“Oh, Y/N’s girlfriend. Yes, we’ve heard about you. She’s such a good teacher to my daughter. I’m Doctor Melina Romanoff”

Of course, Romanoff. No wonder Wanda’s gut was telling her to get out of there.

“Y/N’s teaching Natasha?” Wanda says, confused. She thought it was the other way around.

“No, Yelena. She’s working in the ER”

“Oh, good. There’s more than one of you” Wanda grumbles, wondering if Yelena flirts with you too.

“What was that, dear?” Melina says, confused.

“Oh, nothing”

Thankfully, you show up, smiling at Wanda.

“Hey, come here” you say, dragging her away from Melina.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Wanda asks as soon as the woman is out of earshot. You tilt your head, confused. “You’re teaching her sister. The whole family is here”

“Oh, that. Fury made me do it. Trust me, if it were up to me they’d all be long gone” you mumble.

Wanda’s taken aback by your bitter tone. No matter how annoying someone can be, you’re rarely unkind. It seems like they’re really testing your patience.

“Ok, well. I just wanted to drop off these cookies for Darcy”

“For Darcy and none for me?” you pout, taking the container.

“Yours are at home” Wanda says, and you’re busy checking your pager so you don’t notice Wanda looking over your shoulder, eyes locking with Natasha’s.

Wanda pulls you down, meeting your lips in a kiss that is not at all appropriate in the middle of your shift.

“Try not to be late tomorrow” she says and all you can do is nod, taken aback by the sudden display of affection. It only makes sense when you turn around, Natasha staring at you. Rubbing the back of your neck, you walk past her, only looking back once to wave your girlfriend goodbye.

Wanda stands there a little bit longer, arms crossed as she glares at Natasha. When the Russian gets annoyed, she drops her folder and makes her way over to Wanda.

She doesn’t have a chance to say anything, as Kate comes out of nowhere, dropping her coffee in the middle of both women.

“Oh, shoot” she says, not sounding sorry at all.

The sudden intrusion makes Natasha walk back and leave the reception, annoyed at having to keep to herself all the things she wants to say to your girlfriend.

Wanda, on the other hand, leaves the hospital with a smile on her face.

Kate is on the fence about telling you of the almost argument between your girlfriend and Doctor Romanoff.

To those close to you, is very obvious your relationship with the other surgeon went south, and considering how Wanda looked at Natasha, Kate has a very good guess around the reason why.

“I miss Boston a little bit” Yelena is talking your ear off while you check some X-rays. “Mama and Natasha are going back today and I wish I could too. And by the way, why is she acting strange around you?”

“Page Ortho and tell them we have a surgical case. Run lab work for the patient” you ignore her. “Questions?”

“Yes, did you and Natasha fight?”

“About the case, Belova” you clarify, turning to leave.

“Oh. No. So what happened?”

“Bishop, the case is yours now” you snap, annoyed at her insistence. You already had to deal with her mother’s questioning today, and it ran your patience thin. “Belova, you are in charge of post ops” the blonde opens her mouth to protest and you look up. “Reconsider what you’re about to say or I’ll send you to the morgue with Vidal”

Yelena nods, but you can see she’s hurt. A part of you feels guilty, but then you remember her family is incredibly wealthy and they could simply pull their heads out of their asses and hire a new Head of Trauma in Boston.

The rest of your shift is semi chaotic, until the end when you have to stay longer. Wanda doesn’t respond to your text when you explain why you’ll be late, so you’re in a hurry to leave.

“What the hell is your problem?” a voice chases you down the hall, making several people turn. You look over your shoulder at Natasha.

“Can I help you?” you ask in a bored tone, gathering your stuff to leave.

“Whatever happened between us is our business. Don’t be an asshole to my sister because it got into your head that I’m the one that screwed up your perfect relationship”

“Well, if your sister doesn’t like it she can go back to Boston, as I hope you’ll do soon and without any plans to return” you spit out, taking your bag to leave.

“I was so wrong about you” Natasha says when you walk past her.

“I’ll find a way to sleep at night” you mock, but then Natasha hits you where she knows will hurt.

“Yeah. In the couch, I bet”

Her mocking tone makes you turn.

“What a great relationship it must be, if she only likes you when you do what she wants”

Whatever you are about to say is stuck in your throat, so you turn around and leave.

The words repeat like an echo in your head until you get home.

Figuring Wanda must be in the bedroom, you go up and knock.

“Hey, sorry I had to stay longer. I texted you”

“Yeah, I got the text” Wanda nods with certain indifference. So, she’s back to being distant.

“Well, I’ll just grab a change of clothes” you say.

Wanda turns to look at you. Something takes over when she imagines Natasha kissing you, watching as you undress yourself.

Without warning, she turns you around, kissing you.

“Hey, what is it?” you ask, trying to get her to slow down. Instead of replying, she pushes you to the bed, barely giving you time to react when she straddles your lap. “Wanda, maybe we should…”

“I don’t want to hear it. You’re mine” when she doesn’t get a reply, she pushes forward. “Are you gonna let me fuck you or not?”

All you can do is nod, and she takes off your pants and underwear. You’re conflicted, because Wanda doesn’t seem to be in a right state of mind, pushed by her insecurities.

And then you feel her tongue on your clit, any coherent thought pushed to the back of your mind as she laps at your folds. Your hands go through her hair, but she pushes them away with a slap.

She doesn’t give you time to protest, moving up until she kisses you. The taste of yourself renders you speechless, except for the moan that leaves your lips when Wanda pushes two fingers inside you.

“Babe, slow…” you plead, overstimulated.

“No, you’re gonna take it” she shuts you up, biting your lip.

Her hand moves faster and you cling to the comforter, moaning until you’re pushed over the edge, squeezing her fingers as you come.

“Wanda” you say, trying to catch your breath. But she stands up immediately. “Where are you going?”

“To pick up the kids”

“Can I come with you?”

“Stay” she answers, leaving the room.

You plop down in bed, the rush of your orgasm quickly forgotten at her cold demeanor.

This wasn’t about pleasure, it was about jealousy, as everything seems to be lately.

She only likes you when you do what she wants.

You take a shower and drift off, appreciating how comfortable the bed is compared to the sofa.

The sound of footsteps and laughs wakes you up, Billy and Tommy entering in a rush to the bedroom.

“You’re here!” they say, jumping on the bed. Lately, they always seem anxious to know exactly where you are, as if they sense you’ll disappear without a trace.

It’s as endearing as it is heartbreaking.

“Hey, there” you laugh when they pile on you, shouting about their day at school. “Ok, ok, one at a time, kids!”

“Boys, no shoes on the bed!” Wanda walks in a minute later, making them go get changed for soccer practise. “Why did you let them do that?”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

It’s been a week, of course you’re gonna be in the dog house. But honestly, even when you’re not doing anything, Wanda seems to find a way to be mad at you.

“Why don’t I take the kids to soccer practise?” you offer, thinking she couldn’t possibly be upset about that.

“Pietro has physical therapy, you drive him and I’ll take the kids to soccer”

“Or we can all drive to the rehab clinic and then to practise” you say.

“Ok, I don’t have time to argue. If you’re not gonna be of help, stay out of the way” she snaps, which makes your eyes widen in shock.

“I’ll drive Pietro” you mutter, going out of the room.

You wait for him in the backyard, throwing Sparky’s ball and relaxing when he gets tired and sits next to you. At least someone in this house still likes you.

“What happened now?” Pietro asks from the backseat, and you shrug your shoulders, starting the car.

“She’s just in a mood. I guess it’ll pass”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Come on, no one can stay angry for that long”

Can she?

“Y/N, she hasn’t spoken to our mother in three years because of what happened with Dad” Pietro says.

“Ok, but she lives in a different country and this was a very serious subject…” you try to excuse her.

“Listen, I love Wanda, but it’s hard for her to let go of things. Unless you push a little. Mom’s giving her space, but you live with her and you shouldn’t be hiding forever. We all make mistakes”

“Well, look at you, being a couples counselor and all. You have a backup plan in case snowboarding is out of the picture” you say, opening the door for him.

In a split second, you decide to drive back to practise. Even if Wanda doesn’t want to see you, you want to be there for the boys.

To your surprise, Wanda is laughing alongside a tall man, her hand going to his arm. You walk around the field, standing next to other parents and looking over at her.

They’re both engaged in conversation, standing a bit away from the crowd. Wanda only notices your presence when Billy runs by and waves at you.

“Hey” she walks over to you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll pick up Pietro in a bit, I just wanted to see the kids play”

“Yeah, that’s fine”

“So, who’s that?” you say, referring to the man she was talking to.

“Oh, he’s Richard. His son joined recently”

“No missus?”

“They’re separated. So, you know, sometimes he’s here and sometimes she is the one driving Daniel”

“Nice. Glad they make it work” you comment. Tommy waves at you because he’s having issues with his shin guard. “I’ll go”

You jog to him, smiling as you walk past Sharon.

“There you go, kiddo” you ruffle his hair, encouraging him to go back into the field.

“Friend of Wanda’s?” a voice says and you turn around. The so called Richard is smiling at you. “She’s great”

The way he says great makes you want to punch him in the face.

“Yeah. She is”

“Do you know if she’s dating anyone?”

“Me” you say, frowning at him. “Why? Wanna sell us a time share or something?”

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry” he turns red. “She didn’t mention you at all”

“Huh. Funny. Just moved in together, it probably slipped her mind” you say, offering your hand. “Doctor Y/L Y/L/N, nice to meet you…”

“Richard”

“Dick” you say, punching his arm a little too harsh as you walk away. “Pleasure”

Asshole.

“Your friend’s nice” you mutter, walking past Wanda. “I’m picking up Pietro”

She didn’t mention you at all.

Funny, you can’t shut up about Wanda but she forgets you exist when someone new shows up.

Fine, whatever.

“What now?” Pietro says, sighing. It must be written all over your face when you go back to take him home.

“Nothing! I didn’t say anything” you defend yourself.

This time he doesn’t push it, probably because he’s too tired from the physical exertion.

You help him out, walk Sparky and then, once the kids are back, spend the rest of the afternoon with them going over homework. Whatever it takes to be away from Wanda.

During dinner, you stay focused in your food and only speak when the kids ask you something.

“Are you gonna be home this weekend?” Billy asks and you nod, smiling when he gets excited.

“Yeah, buddy. Wanna do something fun? We can go catch that movie you wanted”

“Oh” they both turn to look at each other. “We went yesterday with Daniel and his dad”

“Mom told us you wouldn’t have time to go to the movies” Tommy apologizes, looking sorry for something that’s not remotely his fault.

“We can go do something else, kids. Anything you want” you promise, smiling at them.

“Did Darcy like the cookies?” Wanda asks, trying to asses how pissed you are.

“Sure” you mutter, looking anywhere but her. “You know what, I’m not that hungry so I’m going to start cleaning the kitchen”

As you leave, Pietro starts to speak Sokovian in what you think is a reprimand, but who the hell knows.

Everyone else finishes their food and you clean everything, being deliberately slow to avoid Wanda. But there she is, leaning against the counter while you load the dishwasher.

“Wanna come to bed?”

“Nope”

“You don’t have a leg to stand on, Y/N. I was just being nice to Richard”

“He didn’t know about me” you snap, turning to glare at her, “And he wants to ask you out, so don’t let me get in the way. Maybe your next outing should be without the kids”

“It hurts, doesn’t it?”

“I never once hid you. Everyone I work with knows about you. Everyone I meet, that’s the first thing I tell them. My girlfriend and my kids, because I love them. And I love you”

“It’s just hard for me not to…”

“Not to what?”

“Not to hate you! For hurting me. For lying” she says, looking away.

“That’s fair. If you want to hate me, by all means, Wanda. But then be honest if you think this will always be the case and let me go. Because right now? It hurts a lot more to stay than to walk away”

She bites her lip, fidgeting with her hands as you walk past her.

As you’ve done every night for the past week and a half, you lie down on the couch, wondering if things will ever get better between you.

—

The weekend was nice, if only because you got to spend time with the kids. You asked Wanda if she wanted to join once, more out of politeness than genuine desire for her to come along.

The first time she made an excuse about having to work on the book. So you went to the mini golf course, the arcade, to get some pizza and then buy a couple of videogames.

Billy and Tommy were very happy and that’s all that mattered to you.

On Sunday you went grocery shopping, turning a blind eye when they sneaked a couple of chocolates. There were some nice flowers, so you decided to get them, just to have something that made you smile.

You weren’t planning on sticking around for dinner, having a night shift. As you’re having a snack in the kitchen, scrolling through your phone, Wanda walks in, unsure if she should say something to you.

She’s very aware that with her hot and cold attitude she’s done her share of damage to your relationship.

Wanda’s never been good at forgiving people.

“You’ll spoil your apetite” she tries to joke when she sees you eating a couple of cookies.

“I have a night shift” you smile, briefly looking away from your phone.

“The flowers are nice”

“Yeah, I liked them too” you agree.

Your girlfriend wanders around the kitchen, trying to come up with something that can be remotely interpreted as a peace offering.

Looking at the calendar, she notices a circled date two days from now.

“Did we have plans for anything?” she asks, trying to remember what the date means.

“It’s ten months since our first date” you say, looking away.

“Oh. Ten months? Time flies”

Yeah, it does. Not in a million years would you have guessed that things would go so bad in the course of a few weeks.

Even the ring you were so excited about is now stored away in a box in the garage.

“We should do something” Wanda says. “We could go to dinner to that restaurant you like”

“If you want to” you say, unsure if her mood will be the same two days from now. Hell, maybe she’ll go back to hating your guts by then and it will be an awkward dinner.

“Yes” she hurries to say, standing in front of you when you get up to wash your cup. “I’d want to… I think I’d like to just… talk like we used to. You know?”

Of course you do. That’s all you’ve wanted since this nightmare began but every time you think you’re making progress she pushes you away. And you’re not sure how much more you can take.

“Ok. I’ll make the reservation” you agree. “I have to go now. Have a good night”

“Have a good shift at work”

You go up to take your bag and say bye to the kids.

“See you Tuesday after school”

“You promise?” Billy says and you nod, offering your pinky. He links it with yours and you both laugh.

“Be good, kiddos”

At the door, Wanda’s waiting with some food.

“In case you get hungry”

You nod, taking the container and smiling as you walk past her.

Wanda wishes she had the courage to go after you and kiss you. But all she does is watch as you drive away.

—-

“Where’s Belova?” you say, annoyed. She’s supposed to be here and it’s only you and Kate in the ER.

“She said she had a family emergency. And that she’d tried to be here early in the morning”

Right. You can afford to skip a night shift if your mother is a reknowned surgeon.

“Well, go get some rest and if anything urgent comes up I’ll let you know” you say, not feeling very tired.

The brunette nods, grateful for the chance to sleep. Ever since Yelena joined you, she’s been staying longer in the hospital to get whatever cases she can get. You appreciate her commitment.

For once, it’s an easy shift. The worse that comes is a group of college kids that are drunk, one of them breaking his nose as he fell.

“I’m kinda hungry” you tell Barnes as you finish up with the young man.

“Go, I’ll stay here”

“Would you like to join me? I have plenty of food” you offer, suddenly realising you’ve never spoken to Barnes beyond work. He thinks about it for a second and then nods.

“Sounds nice”

You take it as an acheivement, going to a break room where you split Wanda’s lasagna in half, while Barnes comes back with a couple of sodas.

“Thanks… sorry, I call you Barnes, but is there other name…?”

“Bucky” he says, sitting down.

“Alright. Bucky” you nod, following suit. You both eat in silence for a moment.

“You’re a good cook”

“That’s my girlfriend. I can only do some decent pancakes” you admit.

“Oh, is that the woman that came the other day?” he asks and you nod, surprised that he noticed.

“Yeah, that’s her” you say, suddenly remembering everything that’s happened in the past weeks. “She has two kids”

“I like kids” he says, which makes you chuckle. He raises an eyebrow, amused. “What?”

“I’m sorry, but you’re always so serious. I can’t imagine you with kids. I’m being rude” you mumble, watching as his smiles widens.

“Nah, I get it. I’m just not good at making friends. And it feels like everyone knows each other already”

“I’m sorry, I guess we should have made more of an effort to include you” you nod, thinking that it must be awful to be left out. “Tell you what, we’ll all go out for drinks one of these days. There’s a bar close to the hospital”

“Maybe”

“There’s a pool table” you insist and he smiles.

“Ok, yeah” he finally relents and you celebrate. Once you’re done with the food, he hands over a chocolate bar. You appreciate the gesture, and munch on it while holding back a yawn.

“Go get some sleep, I’ll page when there’s something” Bucky says.

“Thanks. This was nice” you pat his shoulder, happy that you got to speak to him.

You’re paged a couple of times but manage to get a few hours of sleep.

The next time someone calls you is to go to the third floor, to a conference room. Of course it’s Melina Romanoff.

“Yes?”

“Oh, good, you’re here. Have a seat, please” she speaks, completely indifferent to your mood.

“I have work” you refuse the offer, but she’s clearly not speaking until you do as she says. You sigh, relenting. Maybe she’s about to rip you to shreds for being an ass to Yelena.

“You know what I like?”

Dancing in the moonlight like a witch?

“No, not really”

“Honesty. Someone who doesn’t care about anything other than the truth. And skills” you remain impassive and then she takes off her glasses, smiling at you. “All those things you said about Yelena are true. She has great potential, but she’s missing the drive. It’s about consistency. And hard work”

“Yeah, and yet she skipped the night shift”

“That was my bad. Her father is in town” she says, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Anyway, the people who have worked for me are always too afraid to tell me the truth. Because they want me to like them. But not you. Which is why…”

Melina extends a letter. An offer letter to be the Head of Trauma at Romanoff Medical.

“I’m not interested” you say, noticing the pay is triple what you currently make.

“And why’s that?”

“My family’s here”

“Hum, I see. We can arrange for relocation. You’ll have enough money to buy a beautiful house”

She’s probably referring to the sign up bonus you get if you accept the job.

“Wanda would never want to move. I appreciate the offer” you hand back the paper and she stops you.

“How long have you been with this girl?”

“Ten months”

“And it’s good? There’s a future?” she insists.

“Maybe”

A month ago you would have said that absolutely there was a future. Now, it’s very uncertain.

“Ok, well… sometimes we have to make choices. This is one of those times, Doctor Y/L/N. You work for Romanoff Medical and everyone will know your name. They’ll try to steal you and I’ll double your pay at some point to get you to stay”

“The money isn’t…”

“It should be. Because you’re good at your job, one of the best I’ve seen. At least take the letter and read it carefully. We’re going back to Boston tonight but call me if you change your mind”

“Thanks” you nod, hearing your pager. You fold the letter and put it on the pocket of your lab coat, finding Kate in the ER struggling with a doppler ultrasound.

You smile at the pregnant woman that is waiting, looking worried.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Y/L/N. What brings you to the ER today?”

“I’m having some pain, and contractions but we’re only at 35 weeks. It can’t possible be…” the woman says.

“We’re having twins, boy and girl” her husband explains.

“Congratulations” you smile. “Twins are fun. You’ll have to get two of everything for Christmas, though”

“Do you have twins?” the woman asks, trying to forget about the pain.

“Two boys. Here” you check for the heartbeats, but notice the woman’s water broke, blood mixed with the fluid. “We’re doing an emergency C-section. Don’t worry, we’ll take great care of you and your babies”

Kate pages OBGYN and Maria for the delivery of the babies.

“Everything will be fine, Miss Hardwick” you say, introducing the surgeons. “Your husband is on his way to the OR, the nurses are helping him scrub in”

“Tell me about your boys” she asks when the procedure begins. You smile, looking at her.

“Well, Billy likes science and art. So I don’t know if he’ll be a scientist or an artist like his mom. Tommy is really fast, the fastest boy in the soccer team”

“Two moms?” the woman says and you tense up, unsure if she’ll have a problem with it. “Your house must be very clean”

Maria and you laugh at that.

“You know, it is. But she does the cooking and I try to keep everything neat, and help with homework and taking out the dog”

“Honey, I think I want to be a lesbian” the woman says, and her husband looks around.

“It’s just the anesthesia talking, she’s joking” you calm him down, smiling.

After an hour of surgery, you admire the new family, though the babies will have to spend a few days in the NICU.

“Thanks, Maria” you smile at the woman as you scrub out. “I’m glad they’re all ok”

“We just need to be careful with the post op, can your team handle it?”

“Yeah, of course” you say.

Yelena finally shows up, with a million apologies about how her dad surprised her with a visit from Russia. You decide her punishment should be sticking to the Hardwick’s post op.

“This was a high risk pregnancy. You’re gonna be checking up on her by the hour, no excuses. Can you handle that?” you say.

“You got it”

“Good. You’re also on ER duty, since I’m sending Bishop home. She just pulled off a 36 hour shift and three surgeries” you grab your charts and turn back to look at her. “Better catch up, Belova. Right now, you’re way behind”

Hoping the rest of the day can be better, you instruct her on how to work the ER and she seems to be eager to follow your instructions.

A little too eager, as Yelena hurries to pull out a knife from a man’s leg and getting you sprayed with an alarming amount of blood.

“Oh, my God! I’m so sorry” she says, being pushed out of the way by Barnes so he can fix the mess.

You wipe your face and arms. Well, it’s been a while since you’ve had that happen.

“What did you do wrong?” you calmly ask Yelena.

“I… I didn’t take X-rays. Or his BP”

“Yeah, make sure that doesn’t happen again” you say, tired of being too hard on her. It’s clearly not working. “Stitch him up, I gotta get changed”

Cleaning up proves difficult when you don’t have a change of clothes in your bag. This is what you get when you’re in a hurry to leave.

“Don’t” you warn Tony when the elevator doors open and he watches your bloody scrubs.

“Fine. I won’t say I told you so”

“Screw you, Stark”

“Romanoffs! Evil!” he says as you roll your eyes, walking to your car.

Wanda’s reaction is a little different when she sees you come in.

“Oh, my God! Are you ok?”

“Not my blood” you reassure her. “I forgot my other scrubs. I’ll take a shower and throw these away”

“You got some on your lab coat too”

“Damn it” you raise your elbow. That’s gonna be a bitch to clean.

“Leave it, I was doing laundry tomorrow” Wanda says and you nod, smiling.

“Thanks”

Worrying about the mess Yelena could make while alone in the ER makes you hurry up, taking a quick shower and walking out of the bathroom in your underwear, jumping around as you put on your pants.

“In a hurry?” Wanda asks, eyeing you curiously.

“Yeah, she almost got someone killed while I was standing there. Wanna guess what happens if I leave for more than an hour?” you huff, looking for a new pair of sneakers. “Hey, how was it when the twins were born?”

“What do you mean?” Wanda tilts her head.

“I don’t know, we delivered twins today, and it made me wonder, what happened when Billy and Tommy were born, ya know? Was your family there? Did Pietro cry? All that”

“Oh, that’s a long story” Wanda smiles. You stand up, ready to leave and she leans forward. “Why don’t I tell you over dinner?”

“I’d like that” your heart flutters at her beautiful smile. She kisses your cheek.

“See you later”

“Bye, love” you smile, feeling like something’s changed between you two.

Hopefully, for the better.

—

Love: Happy ten months to us.

Love: I love you, detka

You smile at the text you got from Wanda right at midnight.

“It’s feeding time, wanna help?” Maria says as you stand outside of the NICU, watching their oxygen levels and temp.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, come on”

You both change into special gowns and cover your heads and shoes to avoid contamination. One of the nurses hands you the little girl and you begin to feed her, amazed at how strong she is in spite of being a preemie.

“You’re a natural” Maria comments and you laugh, while the baby wraps her entire hand around one of your fingers.

“Oh, man. It’s happening again. I’m catching baby fever. How have you managed your entire career, Maria?”

“Well, dealing with Carol is a lot like having a kid” she jokes and you both laugh.

Feeding time is over too soon for your liking and you’re honestly thinking you’ll come back before your shift ends just to enjoy this a bit longer.

And then Yelena walks in the room.

“Belova, you’re contaminating everything”

“Mrs. Hardwick is crashing”

“What do you mean, crashing?”

You run out of the NICU, hearing the code blue over the speakers. By the time you get to the room, Bucky is working with compressions. You spring to action, asking for medications and taking over CPR.

“Talk to me, Belova”

“We have a pulse” she says, not taking her eyes off the monitor.

“Ok, let’s do blood work and an ECG. Did you do the post op, Yelena?”

“Yes!”

“Every hour?”

“Every 45 minutes! Y/N, you have to believe me, I did everything. What about? Ok, I know I’m just an intern but I’ve read about peripartum cardiomyopathy?”

“It was a high risk pregnancy. We need to get those lab results to rule it out. The bad news is…”

“That in critical cases, a heart transplant is the only way. And there’s a high rejection rate” Yelena says, and you nod.

“Very good. I wish I could say you’re wrong, but it’s not the case”

The results aren’t good. Neither is your chat with Mr. Hardwick, who’s facing the potential loss of his wife and their children are still in the NICU.

“What are our options?”

“We can start with beta blockers, diuretic, other treatments. If it’s not good enough we will have to consider a heart transplant”

“How long will that take?” he says, desperate.

Your pager interrupts you. Her room again.

“Wait here”

But of course he doesn’t.

“She’s crashing again. Charge to 200”

“We have to do something now” Maria says, helping you with compressions.

“LVAD. It can be a bridge treatment for medical management or heart transplant. Page Ross” you turn to one of the nurses.

“He’s out”

“Then page him and tell him a woman is dying”

“He’s not in the country” Bucky clarifies.

“Alright, whoever’s available in Cardio, Jesus. Is that so hard to find? We’re not wasting any time, tell them to meet us in the OR…”

“Doctor Bernard is two hours away”

“Not good enough” you yell, feeling desperate. All you see is a woman with twins, like Wanda, who needs to see her babies grow up.

“Natasha’s still here” Yelena offers and you nod without hesitation.

“Call her”

The adrenaline makes it seem like it’s been a second since you began to prep for the surgery, and Natasha walks in, ready to go.

“An LVAD can be a temporary solution. But she needs the transplant. My mother is already calling UNOS”

“Ok, let’s begin” you nod. You stand opposite to Natasha, doing everything she asks.

Her movements are calculated and precise. You find yourself looking in awe at her skill.

She was born to be a surgeon.

“There’s a heart in Boston. You need to go now” Melina says when you’re almost done. Tony is right behind her. Seems like everyone wants this case to have a happy ending.

“I’ll go” you and Natasha say at the same time.

“Take the jet” Tony says. “Mine, not Romanoff's”

“Yeah, ok” you look at the clock. You have twelve hours for dinner with Wanda. “Let’s just wrap up before dinner, or my wife will be mad”

“Wife?” Maria says and you look up.

“Girlfriend. Sorry, my mind was elsewhere” you mutter, shaking your head.

“I didn’t know you’d propose. Congratulations” Natasha says, looking at you over her surgical mask.

“Not proposing… Not anytime soon at least, things haven’t been so… nice” you say, focusing on the LVAD.

“I’m sorry” Natasha says, and for the first time, it seems like she means it.

“Not your fault. Not all of it, at least” you joke in a low voice so only Natasha can hear.

“Jerk” she says, but there’s no malice in her tone. “We’re done here. I’ll leave instructions for the post OP while we get the heart”

“Jet’s waiting” Stark confirms.

“Thanks, Tony. You’re my favorite nepo baby” you smile, taking off your gloves.

—

It’s all a blur. People greet Natasha, and it feels like the entire room stops when she walks in. Of course, her family owns this place.

In Stark Hospital, she’s a guest,

Here, Natasha’s the boss.

One of them, at least.

“This is Doctor Y/L/N, scrubbing in with me”

You feel a little intimidated, at the sheer size of the hospital. Twice as big as the one you work at. So, maybe that’s why Tony doesn’t like them that much.

Men and their obsession with size.

“You should see the ER” Natasha says when she catches you looking around the facilities.

“Maybe some other time. Let’s get our heart”

“Now I think I just owe you a pair of lungs” she jokes and you laugh, remembering the time she went to Westview.

Everyone’s ready for the organ harvest but Natasha takes a deep breath, approaching the woman in the operating table.

“You’re about to save a mother’s life. We hope she can see her children grow up. Thank you”

With that, she turns to nod at you.

Again, you are in awe of her technique, even if it’s your third surgery together. You realize the first time you hadn’t noticed because you were too busy joking and admiring her green eyes.

Yeah, the damage to your relationship wasn’t Natasha’s fault at all.

I’m such an idiot.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, just worried”

“About being late for dinner?”

“Among other things” you say, avoiding her stare.

“Well, we’re done here. Let’s get back to Westview”

—-

This is the third time she calls you. Wanda looks at her phone, worried that something might have happened to you.

She decides to call the hospital, but it’s Kate who answers the ER line.

“Kate, hi. Is Y/N ok? She hasn’t called or texted” Wanda says, holding her phone between her cheek and her shoulder, getting the laundry ready. She picks up your lab coat, and a sheet of paper falls.

An offer letter.

To work with the Romanoffs.

“Hi, Miss Maximoff. She’s on her way back from Boston. Her and Doctor Romanoff…”

“She went to Boston? With Natasha?” Wanda stops reading the letter, catching up to what Kate is saying.

“Well yeah, we had a…”

“I have to go” Wanda hangs up, dropping the phone.

She reads the letter one more time before crumpling it in a ball.

—

It’s been a while since you had such an intense shift. I mean, sure, maybe fishing Yelena out of the water was hard, but this was one of those cases that had the entire hospital on edge.

Mrs. Hardwick is in post OP with a new heart, and her twins are getting stronger by the hour. You desperately hope there’s a happy ending.

Also, you made it in time for dinner, with some actual time to shower.

“Hey” you greet Wanda when you walk in. She’s sitting in the dining table, glaring at you.

“You have a lot of nerve to show up”

You’re about to ask what’s wrong when she throws a ball of paper your way. Of course, the offer letter.

“Wanda”

“No, don’t even start. You broke your promise. Why were you in Boston? Looking for a new place?”

“Jesus fuck, Wanda!” you shout, exhausted. “I was in Boston for a heart transplant so a woman who just had twins can live. I mean, a mother could have died, her babies are still in an incubator and you are worried about a job I’m not even gonna take? Get a fucking grip!”

“Don’t talk to me like that. You said that you were done speaking to her, that nothing was happening. And now this?”

“Her mother made the offer that I rejected because my family is here. As for the surgery, well, yeah, I broke my promise for a good reason. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, your wife will have to die because my girlfriend is paranoid?”

“Don’t you dare call me paranoid when you kissed her, not to mention all the times you were calling her Professor Romanoff, or how you always talked about having dinner or going out”

“How do you…?” it takes a moment and Wanda licks her lips nervously, looking away. “You went through my phone”

“What else was I supposed to do? Here she is, this stunning woman that is offering you so much thrill and excitement while I’m nagging you about taking out the trash. And not only that, but a chance at a better life too”

“So you went through my phone and my stuff. That’s great, Wanda. Very healthy and mature” you run your hands over your face, resisting the urge to kick the wall. “I would never sign that stupid contract, in a million years. Our life is here, but no matter what I do, you always doubt I’m committed”

“You’ve been lying to me for weeks and I’m the bad guy” Wanda says, looking defeated. “Is that all you have to say? No apology for hurting me? For betraying me?”

“I apologized over the kiss. I kept my promise and yeah, I broke it to save a life. Natasha’s on a plane back to Boston, and she’s never coming here again. But if you can’t trust me…” you sigh, and wipe the tears that roll down your cheeks. “If you don’t trust me, I don’t see how we can do this. Because then the issue isn’t Natasha. It’s us”

“You’re right” Wanda says after a beat of silence. You relax at her words, thinking the fight is over and you can talk rationally about it. Her next words hit you like a brick wall. “I don’t trust you. And I don’t think I ever will again”

Wanda stares at you, until you look away and sigh.

“Then what? The kids…”

“They are my children. I should have never involved them, that was my mistake and it is one I’ll never make again. We’ve been doing good our whole lives, just the three of us. It’s best if you leave us alone. We will be better”

We’ll be better without you.

“I should go” is all you say, closing the door behind you.

—-

Bucky leaves the hospital, sighing. What a day. He even stopped by the NICU to see those cute babies.

He’s about to get on his motorcycle when he spots you, sitting in a bench.

“Hey. Came to check on your patient?”

“Yeah. And talk to the Chief” you sigh, looking at him. “How about that drink we talked about?”

“I’m kinda tired”

“You sure? Because this is the only chance you’ll get”

“What do you mean?” he asks, noticing the tear that rolls down your cheek.

“Well, I just quit my job”

[juniperskye]

Controlled Chaos: Polaroids

Based on the following ask: This is my first time request here and I’m a little nervous😅so I hope I made the idea understandable. I don't know if you've ever seen this trend on TikTok where on the wedding day the bridesmaids give the groom Polaroids of the bride that are like her in lingerie and things like that, and he finally gets all nervous and somewhat smiling and puts them away in his suit after seeing them🥹 You could write something like this with Aaron as he marries the reader and maybe the reader's friends or the BAU girls give him Polaroids of the reader in lingerie, nothing too relevant but something that makes him nervous ☺️ I hope I have explained myself well, if not I am sorry, also take this only if you feel comfortable, if not you have every right to ignore it, I love your work, you are an amazing writer!🩵- I love this idea!!! It’s not a tiktok trend in this fic. I wanted the reader to have her own friends in this (outside of the BAU), This is the type of gown1 gown2 I envisioned and here are some inspo pics for what Aaron received: 1  2  3  4  5  6  for the vows – reader’s are bolded and Aaron’s are italicized

Aaron Hotchner x Wife! Fem Reader

Fluff/ Smut adjacent

Word count: 2510

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, age gap (non-specified), some explicit language, no use of y/n, Fem reader, reader has no physical description, wedding and all wedding things, mention of inappropriate photos (boudoir photos), mention of Hotch’s mom (she’s awesome in this lol), OC’s Claire, Daisy, and Victoria (reader’s friends and bridesmaids) and Matthew who is Victoria’s husband, let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

The idea had come from your closest friend. She had done a boudoir photoshoot and made up an album for her husband on their anniversary. You were about five weeks away from the wedding, having a lunch with the bridesmaids and it had all spiraled so fast.

“Guys look at these photos I had taken!” Victoria pushed her phone in your direction, showing off a particularly racy photo of herself.

“Damn girl you look hot, what are these for?” Claire asked.

“So, Matthew’s birthday was last week, and I wanted to do something special for him. My sister had told me about this boudoir photographer, and I thought it would be nice to put a little album together for him.” Victoria explained.

“Oh my god…what did he say?” You blushed.

“He was practically drooling.” Victoria laughed.

“You should do that for Aaron!” Daisy nudged your arm suggestively.

“What? I mean, I would, but when would I even give it to him?” You questioned.

“Well, you don’t have to make it into an album! You could just get prints made.” Victoria clarified.

“I’m not sure I’d want like 5x7 boudoir photos of me just around…” You contemplated.

“Oh my gosh! What about polaroids? You could do polaroids and give them to him like one at a time!” Claire gushed.

“Imagine if you gave them to him at the wedding!” Daisy laughed.

“Even better, if we gave them to him!” Claire added.

“You guys are geniuses!” Victoria exclaimed. “You should get the photos taken as polaroids, and you could get the digitals too in case you wanted to make an album of them later, but throughout the reception, imagine if we walked up to Aaron and subtly handed him the pictures of you!”

“Well…I don’t know. He’d definitely be flustered.” You thought about it for a moment. “You know what, let’s do it!”

--

That day the girls took you to a lingerie store to pick up some of your wedding night and honeymoon pieces that you would also wear for the photoshoot.

You had found some pieces that you knew would work under your dress and you were feeling pretty good with everything you had gotten for the honeymoon as well. Some teddies and bodysuits as well as some simpler pieces to sleep in, should you need it, and lastly some swimsuits.

Victoria also reached out to the photographer to see if she had availability within the next few weeks and thankfully she did, the week before the wedding.

--

Time had flown by; your wedding day was finally here, and you couldn’t have been more excited about marrying Aaron.

You had woken up early and had breakfast with your bridesmaids and immediate female relatives. You’d all decided you’d get ready together before heading to the wedding venue.

Makeup and hair was done, dresses were steamed, mimosas were sipped, getting ready photos were taken. The time was finally here…in just a few moments, you’d be walking down the aisle to marry the love of your life.

The girls had helped you into your dress and all gushed over how beautiful you were. They’d stuffed their pockets (because dresses with pockets are so much better) with tissues, lipstick, and the polaroids. Excited to see how Aaron would react.

--

Aaron had cried as you made your way to him, proudly shedding tears that were formed of the love he held for you. Once you stepped up beside him you leaned across and wiped a tear from his cheek which he paid back with a kiss to your palm.

The ceremony wasn’t too long, but the two of you had been adamant of writing your own vows, which arguably was the highlight of the entire day.

My life before you had been on autopilot, just running through the motions of the day to day. You have brought this air of light and spontaneity and just the slightest bit of controlled chaos into my world and I am so grateful for you. So, I want to make a few promises to you as we stand here today in front of our loved ones. I promise to love you in every moment, to embrace the chaos, to enjoy the big moments and cherish the small moments. I promise to give you my all, and sweetheart I will offer advice when words are needed and offer my shoulder when they’re not. You have my heart for always. I love you.

Aaron, I believe that we were destined to find one another. Early on in our relationship, I told you that the story of our lives was written in the stars and if our time together has told me anything, its that it is. You and I always find balance with one another, when I have my head in the clouds, you are there to ground me, when you are buried with work, I’m there with the shovel. People say that relationships are fifty/fifty but with us, we always give our best if I can give thirty percent, you don’t hesitate to give seventy percent…like I said, balance. So, my promises to you, when things get dark, I will bring you light, I will do my best to keep my chaos controlled, I will ensure you feel heard when you speak. Aaron I will have your back when someone challenges you, and I will call you out if you’re wrong. Most importantly I will love you with all of me, for always. I love you.

You both cried through your vows, allowing yourselves to feel and embrace the vulnerability of the love you have built and continued to share over the last few years. Your loved ones cheered as you kissed for the first time as husband and wife, the sound all a haze, fogged by the bliss you were feeling.

Aaron and you went off to take some photos before the reception began. Some alone and some with family as well as the wedding party. Your bridesmaids giggling for what’s to come as you finished up with the photographer.

--

The girls had established a plan for how they’d give Aaron the photos throughout the evening. They wanted to do it in the most awkward possible of moments, and while he was away from you if possible…it needed to be done subtly to avoid others seeing the photos. There were seven photos in total, each bridesmaid would give Aaron two throughout the evening and you’d give him the last one…which was the most risqué.

--

Photo #1

Daisy had the first photo, one that wasn’t too revealing, but it was sexy, nonetheless. In it, you were wearing a lace set with your robe hanging behind you as you let it slip off. The photo was taken from behind as you gaze out a window, revealing the high cut of the lace panties.

She had been the most diabolical of your three bridesmaids, opting for the most awkward of times to hand the photos to Aaron. For this first one, Daisy walked with confidence to wear Aaron stood, having a drink with your father. She slid her hand into his, pulling it up and animatedly thanked him.

“You have made her so happy, and I am just so glad she has you.” Daisy released his hand, leaving behind the small polaroid before sending him a wink and sauntering off towards where you stood with your grandmother.

Aaron was confused at first…worrying that Daisy might be coming on to him, but that fear dissipated and was quickly replaced with a nervous chuckle and a burning heat that crept up his neck as he viewed the photo.

His eyes shot over to where you stood, completely unfazed, paying him no mind. He looked back to your father and uncomfortably cleared his throat, sliding the photo into the interior chest pocket of his jacket.

“You alright there Aaron?” Your father had asked.

To which Aaron replied with a curt nod.

--

Photo #2

Victoria had the second photo. She had been a little more forgiving with the times she chose to pass them off to him.

You had just stepped away from your table to greet one of your cousins when she walked over to where Aaron was now seated alone. She hadn’t said a word as she slid the photo under his fingers where they rested on the table.

“What are you-” He was cut off as Victoria walked away without a word.

He had more privacy to really view this one, so he flipped it over and once again instantly became flushed. You were in a lace bodysuit leaning face-down, over the edge of the bed, back arched and bent legs, your feet up and pointed. The way the light was hitting you in the image was breathtaking and Aaron couldn’t help the tightness that formed in his slacks.

--

Photo #3

The third photo was given to Aaron in between speeches. Dave, his best man had just finished his and Claire had slipped him the photo before stepping up to give her speech.

This one had taken Aaron by surprise, not only the timing but the content. You were lying on your stomach, head seemingly propped up on your hands, once again with your feet up…only this time it was taken from behind. Your body was covered in nothing but your veil and the only thing that covered your naked bottom were your heel-clad feet. The angle had been just right to allow your raised feet to align with where you were clearly naked.

Aaron admired the photo for a moment before tucking it into his pocket with the others. Leaning in close to whisper in your ear.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked.

“What are you talking about?” You feigned innocence.

Aaron shook his head and prepared himself for what was to come.

--

Photo #4

This was the first of the more racy photos you’d taken, and Daisy couldn’t wait to give it to Aaron at the worst possible time…like now for instance while he’s chatting with his entire team.

“Aaron!” She called, rushing over to him. “We’re going to do some makeup and hair touchups before you guys dance.”

“Okay, does she need me?” Aaron asked…always the gentleman, putting you first.

“I think she’s good. We’ll be back in a few.” Daisy said nudging his hand with the photo.

She ran off toward you and the other girls to go refresh before your first dance. This time, Aaron blushed before even looking at the photo, completely mortified that it was handed to him in front of a group of profilers. He lifted it as casually as possible, stealing a quick glance before panicking and shoving it in his pocket.

You were leaning back, resting your weight on your forearms, your knees bent just barely out of frame. You head was tossed back…in a way Aaron was all too familiar with. Your body was adorned in white lace that left nothing to the imagination, he was sure that even in the moment he glanced, he could see every detail of your breasts.

“Woah there bossman…what’s got you all flustered?” Derek teased.

“Nothing. I’m good, never better.” Aaron answered all too quickly.

“Was that a photo you glanced at…” Emily inquired.

“No.” Aaron couldn’t help the blush that continued to spread…now burning his ears.

“Aaron, I know you’re not lying to a group of profilers. What is it?” Dave pressed.

“I can’t show you. All I am going to say is that the bridesmaids have handed me some photos throughout the evening.” Aaron scratched his neck sheepishly.

“Ohhh…they’re “photos” of Mrs. Hotchner.” JJ had put it together, now giggling with Emily and Penelope.

--

Photo #5

 This photo, while not the most intimate of them, was given to him in the most shocking of ways. You had just finished your father-daughter dance and Aaron was headed to the dance floor with his mother to share a quick dance before everyone was invited to dance.

Victoria had asked you if you’d be okay with recruiting another helper and you’d agreed. So, she explained the situation to your mother-in-law, and she happily agreed to pass along the photo. She kept it faced down to protect your modesty but handed it off to Aaron with a pat to his chest as their dance ended.

And so, he stood in the middle of the dance floor looking at a photo of you lying on your back, the photo focused on your left hand gripping the white sheets you were lying on, your wedding ring gracing your ring finger. It again was a sight that was all too familiar…and this night was starting to feel like he’d never get you alone.

--

Photo #6

Claire approached Aaron with the second to last photo as you were about to cut the cake. She grabbed his hand and set it on his palm, offered a smile and walked away.

At this point the embarrassment of it all was gone…Aaron was starting to feel impatient, wanting nothing more than to take you to your suite and have his way with you. He knew that there’d be plenty of time for that and shook away the thought. Glancing at this photo, and then up at you as you made your way to him. He was in awe of you and how beautiful you were.

In this photo you were knelt on a bed, the straps of the rose-colored lace bra had slipped off your shoulders and the high cut lace panties showed off the curves of your ass beautifully. Your hair hung to the side with the way your head was tilted.

As Aaron tucked this photo away with the others, he caught your gaze. You shared a quick smile before you walked over to him and continued on with the cake cutting.

--

Photo #7

This photo was different from the others, in more ways than one.

The night had been coming to a close, you had said your thank yous and goodbyes to your friends and family. Your wedding party had loaded all the wedding gifts into the car and you guys were just about ready to make your big exit.

As everyone gathered outside and prepared their sparklers you and Aaron shared a private moment. Stealing kisses waiting for your cue, and just as it was given, you slipped Aaron the final photo. He looked at it, completely dumbfounded, before you took his hand and pulled him along with you toward the waiting car.

In this photo you were stood completely bare in front of a mirror. Your arms were up above your head, having clearly mussed your hair.

--

As you slid into the backseat of the town car, Aaron practically pounced on you, kissing you hungrily. His hands slid down your back along the buttons of your dress.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me tonight?" He asked, nipping at your neck.

“Controlled chaos, honey.”

Taglist: @bernelflo@pastelpinkflowerlife@just-moondust

[burnforyou]

FIGHT & MAKE UP - LUIGI MANGIONE x READER

!SUMMARY! a fight with your boyfriend, luigi, ends up causing you to be bent over the bathroom sink.

!WARNINGS! fighting, accused cheating (no actual cheating), a bit of crying, he's a little insecure, reader is sensitive, make-up sex (kinda public)

if you don't like this, don't read it.

“hey, lu...“ you approach him sitting on a kitchen stool with caution, the wound from your argument still fresh.

“i don’t want to talk to you.” he states curtly.

“please, we won’t settle this unless we talk.” you beg.

“well, i wanted to talk to you this morning,”

your stomach drops in realization, your heart aching.

“but you weren’t here. so i stalked your location and went to where you were, and of course, i saw you with luke.” he snarls, his voice echoing in your kitchen.

“we were just talking? I… i wanted his advice. i wanted to talk to someone else about it, get another opinion.” you cautiously place a hand on his shoulder. he stiffens under your touch.

“it’s always him, isn’t it?” he turns his head to lock eyes with you. his eyes are wide with expectation.

“no,” you pace in the kitchen and rub your head, a headache stirring. you stop and look at him. “this is a big misunderstanding.”

“no, i’m not misunderstanding anything.” he gets up from the stool and stalks up to you. you have to tilt your head up to look in his eyes, now dark. “i’m telling you as i see it. to me it looks like every time we have an issue you go running back to him. literally anyone else, anyone else, this wouldn’t be a problem.”

he loses himself in the argument and you see it in his face. he’s lost the color in his eyes, replaced with a darkness you've never seen before.

“i’m sorry luigi, i wanted his opinion because he’s a man and i figured he would try and understand your side too, and i’d get unbiased advice from him.” your ramble on and on, struggling to get him to understand you.

“in what world would you get unbiased advice from him?" the adrenaline courses through his veins, "he probably begged you to break up with me, called me a loser, an evil man, the whole thing!”

“no, that’s not what happened,” tears begin welling up in your eyes, but you don’t let them fall. taking his accusations felt like walking on broken glass.

he grasps onto your shoulders with a force that almost makes you fall back.

“you can’t see it? that he just wants to get into your pants? he just wants to take you from me?” he growls in your face. his eyes search your face for any inkling of an answer.

“do you really think i’d leave you for him?” your voice comes out as sharp as a knife.

he opens his lips to reply, but closes them before saying anything. he doesn’t have anything to say to you.

he drops his hands to his sides after they left red marks on your skin.

“really, luigi? really?”

you start backing away from him. disappointment fills your heart.

“and since you care so much, he didn’t tell me to break up with you. actually, he told me i should apologize to you. but now, i don’t think you deserve my forgiveness.”

every stair creates a creaking noise as you storm up to your bedroom. once you meet the bed, you're out like a light.

you blink your eyes open, feeling a hand caressing your face softly. you're met with a stricken luigi looking down at you, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"can we talk?" he proposes carefully.

you sit up and lean back on your hands.

“you talk and i’ll listen.”

he takes a deep breath and leans down beside the bed and brings a notebook up from the floor. he looks down at the notebook and up at you again.

“i wrote down what i wanted to say, um…” he stammers off.

a smile threatens to grace your lips. it’s hard to stay mad at him, with his big brown eyes and little apology script.

“i’m sorry y/n. i didn’t mean to accuse you of cheating on me. it’s just.. my parents didn’t have the most, solid, relationship, as you know, and my father made me believe every woman would leave me. i’m really trying to break the pattern, to prove him wrong, to let you prove him wrong, but it’s really hard for me. but i am really trying for us, y/n."

"okay." you sigh.

"I don't mean to make excuses for my actions. I know what I said to you was wrong, and I'm sorry. for all of it, for the fight last night too."

you're weak. you're weak and you know it. you can't stay mad at him for anything. you climb into his arms and let him cradle you like a baby, his warmth engulfing you. "I'm sorry" you mutter weakly into his chest.

his thumb caresses the back of your head and he leaves a soft kiss on your forehead.

"i know. l'm sorry too baby." his voice comes out soft, his tender touches holding you to him.

you gave luke a hesitant side hug, eyes locked on luigi. he gives you a lazy smile and winks.

"thanks for having me," luke politely shakes luigi's hand and you take note of their size difference. luigi looms over him, not just in height, but size too. luigi makes small talk with luke as he leads him to the rest of where the rest of his guests are sat.

when you finally get a moment where all the guests are distracted, you sneak off to the kitchen, where you know luigi is hiding away. you lean against the counter next to him.

“why did you invite luke to your birthday party?”

“i wanted to…" he turns to look at you with a coy smile and your heart flutters. "get on better terms with him.” he watches your shocked reaction with satisfaction.

“wow luigi. that’s really.. nice of you.”

his lips turn up into a slight smirk that you catch. a sneaky suspicion he’s lying arises.

"that's not the real reason, is it?"

he crosses his arms across his chest and his biceps bulge in his short sleeve shirt. you bite your lip.

"you want to know the truth?"

"um, yes?" you reply like it's the most obvious thing in the world. he grips onto the counter next to you and leans over you, forcing you to look up at him. he leans down right next to your ear, his breath making the hairs on your neck stand up.

"I wanted him to see that you belong to me," he nibbles on your earlobe, "firsthand."

"you're joking." you bite your lip. he retracts from your ear, his signature hung smile lighting up his face.

"nope!" he says, popping the 'p.'

"and I thought you were being mature." you shake your head and roll your eyes with faux annoyance, trying to pretend like his words don't make you inexplicably needy. he leans into your neck again and presses hard kisses on the soft skin where your ear meets your neck.

"you know you like it." he casually reads you like a book. his slight scruff scratches your neck just the way you like it. "you know you've wanted this all day, prancing around here in this short skirt."

"lu," you whimper, quiet so the party-goers won't hear.

it was risky, but the rush, the adrenaline, the fact that luke could walk in at any second, it made you weak in the knees and left you aching for more.

he comes up and leaves his forehead against yours, eyes dark with need, pupils completely dilated.

"bathroom?" your heart pounds in your chest.

you shake your head, going against your own wishes.

"they'll notice we're gone."

"not if we're quick enough." he smirks, grabbing your hand. "come on."

he leads you to the downstairs bathroom and closes the door quietly after you. he presses your hips against the cold counter top and roughly pulls down your panties from under your skirt.

he wastes no time getting down on his knees, holding your ass apart with his hands, and playing with your already wet pussy.

"you want this bad?" he slaps your ass and groans at your reaction, jolting forward with a small gasp and a red mark appearing. his eyes meet yours in the mirror and he pushes a finger in you, still watching your reaction carefully.

"i want it now," you whine and stick out your bottom lip.

"look at you, so desperate." he shakes his head, pulling his shorts down enough to pull his hard cock out. he lines the tip up with your pussy and pushes his hips right against your ass, filling you up in seconds. your mouth falls open but nothing comes out, your lips completely dry.

as he thrusts into you, his thighs meeting your ass make loud, obscene noises that slip through the door.

you try and look back at him over your shoulder, but he forces you to look into his eyes in the mirror, bent over and fucking you desperately. "i'm gonna make this quick." he whispers into your ear, "look at who's fucking you this good."

you open your eyes and meet his dark ones in the mirror. instantly, his hand finds your clit and rubs it, adding stimulation. a moan flies out of you uncontrollably and you bite your lip to silence yourself.

"don't," he groans, "be loud f'me." he moans as you pulse around him. he smiles at you, watching your head bob as he fucks you braindead.

"could luke ever fuck you this good?" he asked with a rasp.

you gasp and he watches you struggle in the mirror with pleasure. he brings his other arm around your throat, his bicep now pressed against your throat. you try and shake your head but he just squeezes you harder.

"say it.” he growls roughly.

his cock kisses your cervix with every harsh thrust. your eyes flutter shut and your lower stomach bulges, heat growing with every movement.

"n-no,” you stammer, face red and sweat dripping, “fuck!"

"say my name.” you hold onto his arm and try and pull the weight off your neck, but he prevails.

"Luigi, please!”

"there ya go, that's it." he moans and slows his pace, grinding into you.

"say who you belong to." he slaps your clit carefully and your legs begin to buckle beneath him, body convulsing with pleasure.

"you, luigi. I'm yours." you purr and arch your back into him more, watching his eyebrows come together in the mirror.

"I'm gonna cum,” you whine, digging your nails into his muscles.

"cum baby," he demands, "make 'em hear you cum with me.” your vision fades to black when luigi thrusts into you as deep as possible, your skin meeting his with a dirty slap one more time. you buck against him, throbbing around him while he fills you. he quickly slips out of you and pulls your panties back up before any of his cum could drip out, forcing you to spend the rest of the party with his cum dripping out of you.

MASTERLIST - PREV. WORK

!TAGS!

@legendaryclancy @strawbrriess @bellobambino @f4nfic-lover @chmpgneprblem @soggysouppp @hereandqueer6540 @poohkie90 @miarosalie11 @v1rtualsalvat10n @hypnotizedbyhood @webanglikethat @croucify @cumdnmp @ga33y3 @zeervzn @marzipanlvr @seesaw-it @raekensluver @ddlydevotion @hujirose @babydollfacedangel @strawbxrryaxolotyl @bricapellan16 @darleneslane @uraharasfavoriteexperiment

[gojozballs]

Gojo x Reader "Doll"

Warning: [This story contains themes of yandere obsession, dark romance, violence, and disturbing imagery, including murder and psychological manipulation]

Materialist

A doll, captivating Satoru who never desired a woman, where Satoru's relentless love for Y/N leads him to transform into a lifeless doll, forever binding them in an unbreakable, chilling connection.

Author's POV

Gojo Satoru was in his final year at Jujutsu High a senior, not your average one at that. Being from a noble family gave him an air of sophistication, but he wasn’t the type to flaunt it obnoxiously. Nope, Satoru was far from the stereotypical rich-kid playboy. Instead, he was the kind of guy who commanded attention without trying—sharp wit, a lazy grin, and a charm that made people flock to him like moths to a flame. Not that he cared much for it. His circle was tight, consisting of just three friends: Suguru, Shoko, and Nanami.

“Where are we off to after school today?” Satoru asked lazily, lounging in his chair and spinning a pen between his fingers as the rest of the class emptied out.

“As much as I’d like to go home,” Nanami sighed, pushing his glasses up, “I know you’ll drag me somewhere anyway, so just tell us.”

“I heard there’s a new antique shop in town!” Shoko piped up, a spark of excitement lighting her otherwise chill demeanor. She had a thing for unique trinkets and old collectibles. “We should check it out.”

Suguru raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Antiques, huh? Planning to buy more weird knick-knacks?”

“They’re art, Suguru. You wouldn’t understand.” Shoko waved him off dismissively, but the group collectively agreed.

As they walked toward the school gates, the afternoon sun casting long shadows, a voice suddenly called out.

“Gojo-san! Please wait!”

The group stopped, all heads turning in unison. Two girls approached, their pace hurried, one of them clutching the straps of her bag nervously.

“Oh boy,” Suguru muttered under his breath, already anticipating the scene.

The girl stopped in front of Satoru, cheeks flushed as she fidgeted with the hem of her uniform. The other girl stood a few steps behind, looking equally embarrassed for her friend.

“If you’re about to confess to me,” Satoru began, his piercing blue eyes glinting as he leaned slightly closer, “you’ve got to be at least my type, you know?”

The poor girl froze, eyes wide, her courage crumbling under his casually cruel words. Before she could even stammer a response, Satoru sighed dramatically, running a hand through his snow-white hair. “Let’s go, guys. Let’s save her the embarrassment.”

He turned on his heel, strolling away like he hadn’t just shattered someone’s heart. The others exchanged amused glances before following.

“You’re going to be single forever if you keep this up, Satoru,” Suguru teased, hands shoved into his pockets.

“Single? Please.” Satoru snorted, grinning. “No one’s even come close to passing my standards. Why settle for ordinary when I’m extraordinary?”

Nanami rolled his eyes. “Your standards are the reason you’ll die alone.”

They soon arrived at the antique shop, a quaint little place tucked into the corner of a bustling street. The exterior was charming, with weathered wooden signs and potted plants that added a touch of whimsy. The bell above the door chimed softly as they entered, the air inside cool and tinged with the faint scent of aged wood and lavender.

“Alright, let’s split up,” Shoko announced, already wandering toward a shelf filled with vintage trinkets. “Suguru, don’t get lost looking for something ridiculous.”

Suguru ignored her, heading straight for a display of delicate figurines. “Ridiculous? I’m getting something cute for my girlfriend. Long distance doesn’t mean I can slack off, unlike some people.” He shot a look at Satoru.

Satoru raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Why would I need to buy gifts for someone when I already am the gift?”

Nanami let out a long suffering sigh, already regretting tagging along as he browsed through a collection of old books. “Shoko, if you’re going to spend all your money, don’t complain about being broke later.”

“Who said anything about complaining?” she shot back. “Retail therapy is good for the soul. You should try it sometime.”

Meanwhile, Satoru meandered through the shop, hands stuffed into his pockets, stopping occasionally to inspect random objects. A silver hand mirror caught his eye, and he picked it up, tilting it to admire his reflection.

“Damn, I look good even in antiques,” he muttered to himself, grinning.

Suguru walked by, overhearing. “Careful, Satoru. Your ego’s taking up more space than this shop.”

Satoru shrugged, unbothered. “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you, Suguru.”

As Satoru admired his reflection in the antique mirror, something far more captivating caught his eye a small doll perched delicately on the top shelf. His hand froze mid-hair-fluff, his gaze locking onto it. The doll was exquisite, with an almost haunting beauty. Its face was painted with soft, lifelike details, lips slightly parted in an almost secretive smile, and its glassy eyes seemed to glimmer even under the dim shop lighting.

“Now that’s my type,” he muttered, reaching up to carefully take it off the shelf.

Holding it in his hands, Satoru’s breath hitched. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, studying every detail of the doll like it was a priceless artifact. His thumb traced over its porcelain cheek, and for a brief moment, it felt almost... alive.

“If someone in my school looked like this, I’d be engaged by now,” he sighed dramatically, tilting his head as if trying to imagine the doll as a real person.

Despite his confident exterior and endless admirers, Satoru still carried a strange emptiness deep down. Sure, he’d been with a few models and actresses here and there flings, nothing serious but none of it ever stuck. None of it ever felt real. And now here he was, standing in an antique shop, inexplicably drawn to a doll like it held the answers to all the things he couldn’t put into words.

“Oi, Satoru, we’re done! Where the hell are you?” Suguru’s voice echoed through the shop, snapping him out of his trance.

Satoru glanced at the door, then back at the doll in his hands. He hesitated for a moment before smirking. “You’re coming home with me, doll.”

He didn’t want his friends to see him buying something like this he could already hear the teasing. So, with the smoothness only Gojo Satoru could pull off, he waved them off.

“Go ahead, guys. I, uh, forgot to pay for something.”

Nanami gave him a suspicious side-eye. “You’re buying something? What, did you find a vintage mirror so you can admire yourself even more?”

“Probably got some old 90’s porn videos,” Suguru chimed in with a smirk, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Shoko snorted, already heading out the door. “Knowing Satoru, it’s probably something weird.”

“Oh, whatever,” Satoru quipped, waving them off with a grin. “Why would I waste my money on that when I could just, you know, fuck the actress?”

Suguru groaned, shaking his head. “You’re insufferable.”

“Charmed, I’m sure!” Satoru called after them, watching as they disappeared down the street. Only when the coast was clear did he turn back to the shopkeeper with his usual lazy grin. “So, how much for this beauty?”

The shopkeeper raised an eyebrow, glancing at the doll. “Ah, that one? Quite rare. Been sitting there for decades, though no one’s ever taken much interest in it.”

“Well, guess it’s been waiting for someone with taste.” Satoru’s grin widened as he pulled out his wallet.

On the way home, his friends bantered like usual, their teasing relentless.

“Bet he bought something embarrassing,” Nanami said flatly, walking ahead with his hands shoved in his pockets.

“Probably a VHS tape of some old drama he’s too embarrassed to admit he likes,” Shoko chimed in, lighting a cigarette.

“Pfft, knowing Satoru, it’s something stupidly expensive and completely unnecessary,” Suguru added.

Satoru walked slightly behind them, tuning them out with a smirk plastered on his face. He casually carried the bag in one hand, but his thoughts were elsewhere specifically, on the doll carefully wrapped inside. He couldn’t explain it, but something about it felt... different. Special, even.

His friends were too busy laughing to notice the faint, almost imperceptible blush dusting Satoru’s cheeks as he thought about it again. Deep down, he was already looking forward to getting home where he could finally take the doll out and admire it properly without anyone around to interrupt.

Movement

Arriving at his family estate, Satoru was greeted by the usual chorus of polite bows and greetings from the household staff. Servants lined the hallways, offering smiles and asking if he needed anything. He didn’t bother to glance at them, his mind preoccupied.

“Not now,” he muttered, brushing past a butler who had stepped forward. His long legs carried him up the grand staircase two steps at a time, the opulent chandeliers and marble flooring a blur as he made a beeline for his room.

The moment he stepped inside, he kicked the door shut behind him, dropping his bag and pulling out the doll. “There you go, pretty,” he murmured, handling it with surprising care.

He placed it delicately on his study table, angling it so its face caught the soft afternoon light streaming through the window. The doll’s lifelike eyes seemed to sparkle, almost as though they were watching him.

“I’ll get back to you in a bit,” he said with a lazy grin, pointing at the doll as if it could hear him. “Don’t move.”

With that, Satoru began peeling off his uniform jacket, tossing it carelessly onto the bed. His tie followed, then his shirt, buttons undone one by one with a casual, practiced ease. Standing bare-chested in the middle of the room, he ran a hand through his snow-white hair, the strands sticking out messily.

“Man, what a day,” he muttered to himself, yawning as he stretched his arms over his head. The muscles in his back flexed, catching the golden light from the window.

He reached for the waistband of his pants, but what he didn’t know was that a certain someone or something was watching him intently.

The doll’s porcelain cheeks, faintly painted with a rosy hue, seemed to darken ever so slightly. Its glassy eyes, which moments ago had been fixed in an unchanging gaze, now almost appeared wide with shock, as though it had just witnessed something scandalous.

Oblivious to this, Satoru strolled into the adjoining bathroom, humming a tune under his breath. The sound of running water soon filled the air as he turned on the shower.

Back in the bedroom, the doll remained on the study table, but something about it seemed... different. Its head, ever so slightly tilted, almost looked as though it was following the direction Satoru had gone.

The once-static doll now radiated a subtle energy an aura that was faint but growing stronger.

When Satoru returned, hair damp and a towel slung loosely around his hips, he stopped in his tracks.

For a brief moment, he thought he saw something a flicker of movement in his peripheral vision. His sharp blue eyes darted to the study table, where the doll sat exactly where he had left it.

“Huh,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Must be the heat getting to me.”

But even as he turned away to grab some clothes, the strange sensation of being watched lingered. And if he’d looked a little closer, he might’ve noticed the faintest shift in the doll’s expression a subtle smile tugging at its porcelain lips.

1 AM – Satoru’s Room

The grand estate was silent, bathed in moonlight, as Satoru slept soundly in the massive bed tucked in the center of his room. He was sprawled out, one arm flung over his head, his face soft and peaceful. His snowy white hair glimmered faintly in the dim light, and his breathing was slow and even, lost in whatever dreamland he’d wandered into.

But in the far corner of the room, something strange began to stir.

The doll, once motionless on his study table, twitched. Its glassy eyes seemed to blink, and the porcelain of its limbs began to shift, softening, becoming something more alive. Its delicate frame stretched, the cracks of transformation accompanied by the faint sound of fabric ripping. The once-pristine dress adorning the doll tore apart, revealing smooth, flawless skin as it grew into its full human form.

She stood there now, completely bare, bathed in the silver glow of the moon. Stretching her arms above her head, she let out a soft sigh. “It’s been so long...” she murmured, her voice as smooth and captivating as velvet.

Her gaze landed on Satoru, sprawled out in his bed, and she couldn’t help the small smile curling on her lips. “You called me beautiful,” she whispered, taking a slow step toward him, her bare feet soundless against the plush carpet. “Yet you… you’re the one who’s truly breathtaking.”

She reached the side of the bed, kneeling down beside him, her curious fingers gently brushing against his cheek. His skin was warm under her touch, and she marveled at the softness of it. Her hand trembled as she tucked a stray strand of white hair behind his ear, unable to believe that someone like him so pure, so perfect had been the one to bring her back to life.

Satoru stirred.

The light sleeper that he was, his eyes fluttered open, groggy but aware. His blue gaze locked on hers, but his half-asleep brain didn’t quite register what he was seeing.

“Oh, now I’m dreaming about you,” he mumbled, his voice husky with sleep. His lips curled into a lazy grin as he reached out and pulled her onto the bed, tucking her under the covers with him.

Her breath hitched as she found herself inches from his face, his warm arm draped over her waist. His sleepy eyes roamed her face, and his grin widened. “You’re really beautiful,” he murmured, his thumb brushing across her cheek as though to confirm she was real.

She froze under his touch, her heart racing. “Thank you, Satoru,” she said softly, her voice trembling slightly. “Though I’m no match for your eyes.”

He chuckled, the sound low and melodic. “This… this is exactly how I imagined it would be. A gorgeous girl sneaking into my bed. Honestly, I don’t even care if I’m dreaming. I wish you were real.”

His words made her chest tighten. She couldn’t tell if it was joy or sadness that overwhelmed her, but she couldn’t look away from him.

“Me too…” she whispered, her hand resting gently on his chest.

He yawned, pulling her closer into his embrace. His body was warm and inviting, and she felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against her palm. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the feeling. For the first time in so long, she felt loved, cherished, and protected.

But she knew it couldn’t last.

Satoru’s breathing evened out again, signaling that he’d fallen back into a deep sleep. Carefully, she wriggled free from his arms, though every fiber of her being screamed to stay. She stood at the edge of his bed, watching him for a moment, committing the sight of him to memory.

With a heavy heart, she tiptoed back to the study table. Her ripped clothes still hung loosely off her body, but she adjusted them the best she could before settling back into her original position.

As she closed her eyes, returning to her doll-like state, a single tear slipped down her porcelain cheek. She already missed the warmth of his touch, the kindness in his gaze. And in the silence of the room, she made a silent vow.

One day, she wouldn’t have to leave. One day, she’d be able to stay by his side for real.

Still a dream?

For the past week, Satoru’s dreams had been consumed by the mysterious doll he’d purchased. Each night, he found himself in his room the two of them would laugh, cuddle, and share secrets. The intimacy they shared felt so real that it left him dazed every morning. No matter how much he flirted with reality, nothing compared to the feeling he had with her.

That evening, he returned to his room, anticipation buzzing in his chest as he picked up the doll. “Come visit me again in my dreams, yeah?” he murmured, gently caressing the doll’s cheek as if it could hear him. His voice was soft, almost affectionate, as his thumb brushed over its smooth surface.

With a content sigh, Satoru nestled into bed, clutching the doll close as sleep claimed him.

As always, the dream began with her.

Y/N stood in the center of his dreamscape, her radiant beauty glowing under a soft, ethereal light. She greeted him with a smile that could stop time, her laugh bubbling like music in his ears. They talked, they teased, they held each other close like lovers who had known each other for lifetimes.

But tonight was different. The doll had grown bolder, a spark of determination glinting in her eyes.

In reality, the doll’s porcelain form stirred once again, her limbs softening, her body growing as she transformed into her human form. The lamp beside Satoru’s bed flickered faintly before turning on, bathing the room in a warm glow.

Y/N turned to look at him, her eyes softening as she admired his peaceful face. “I want to see them,” she whispered, leaning closer. “Your beautiful eyes...”

Her fingers trembled as she reached out to touch him, brushing against his cheek ever so lightly. The touch was enough to stir Satoru from his slumber. His eyes fluttered open, his gaze locking onto her. But instead of panicking, he smiled sleepily.

“Oh, you’re here,” he mumbled, his voice husky from sleep. “You really do come to me every night, huh?”

Y/N blinked in surprise but quickly smiled back, amused by his assumption. He still thinks this is a dream.

“Hi, Satoru!” she said cheerfully, her tone playful yet innocent.

Satoru rubbed his eyes, still half-asleep, but something felt… different. His gaze finally focused on her fully, and he froze. The faint glow from the lamp illuminated every inch of her every inch. His face immediately turned crimson as he realized she was completely naked, sitting beside him without a hint of shame.

“H-Hey! You—you’re naked!” he stammered, averting his gaze and tugging the blanket up to cover her.

Y/N tilted her head, clearly upset by his reaction. She reached out, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look at her. “Why won’t you look at me, Toru?” she pouted, her lips forming the softest, most irresistible expression.

Satoru swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. “I—uh—” He was at a loss for words, his usual charm nowhere to be found. Instead, he felt something stirring inside him something both external and internal that made his body heat up like a furnace.

“You’re so beautiful,” he finally whispered, his voice almost trembling. “You won’t be mad if I… do this, right?”

Y/N blinked, confused but curious. “Do what?”

Without waiting for a proper response, Satoru leaned in and pressed a gentle, hesitant kiss to her lips. It was soft, almost shy a stark contrast to his usual confidence.

Her eyes widened at the gesture, but then she laughed, the sound rich and full of delight. “Oh, Satoru...” she murmured, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Before he could pull away, she leaned in and captured his lips again, this time with more passion. It was intoxicating the way she kissed him, the way she smiled against his mouth. He felt like he was drowning in her, and for once, he didn’t mind.

The night stretched on, filled with quiet laughter, stolen kisses, and whispered words. Satoru held her close, his fingers tracing the curve of her back, his lips brushing against her temple. He didn’t want the moment to end.

“I wish you were real,” he murmured into her hair, his voice heavy with longing.

Y/N froze for a moment, her heart aching at his words. She tightened her hold on him, burying her face in his chest.

“I’m real enough for tonight, Toru,” she whispered softly, her voice heavy with exhaustion.

As the first rays of dawn began to seep into the room, Y/N stirred slightly, her head still nestled against Satoru’s chest. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep beside him, but the warmth of his embrace and the feeling of his heartbeat lulling her to rest were too much to resist.

Satoru’s arms tightened around her instinctively in his sleep, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

But as the sun’s light fully illuminated the room, Y/N’s eyes fluttered open. The realization hit her like a lightning bolt she had forgotten to return to her doll form.

She froze, panic bubbling in her chest as she turned to look at Satoru’s peaceful face. He stirred slightly, his lashes fluttering as he began to wake.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he mumbled, his voice low and groggy.

Her heart raced. “Satoru...”

Then, his eyes blinked open fully, locking onto hers. A slow smile spread across his face, his sleep-addled mind still convinced he was dreaming.

“You’re still here,” he murmured, pulling her closer. “Guess this dream just gets better and better.”

Y/N could only laugh nervously, her mind scrambling for what to do next. He still thinks this is a dream... but for how much longer?

Chaotic Morning

The peaceful quiet of Satoru’s morning was shattered in the most chaotic way possible. The door to his room slammed open with a deafening bang, startling both him and Y/N.

“Satoru, get the fuck up!”

Satoru bolted upright, groaning in irritation. “The fuck, Suguru? Seriously? What are you even doing here this early?” His voice was groggy, annoyance dripping from every word.

Suguru strode into the room like he owned the place, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. “You’ve been skipping school for a week, dumbass! I’m here to drag you out before Nanami and Shoko stage an intervention.”

As Satoru rambled on about how “school could wait” and how annoying Suguru was for showing up unannounced, Suguru froze mid-rant. His eyes widened as they zeroed in on something or rather, someone beside Satoru.

“Uh... Satoru?” Suguru’s voice cracked slightly, disbelief coloring his tone.

Satoru furrowed his brows at his best friend’s expression, waving a hand in front of Suguru’s face. “What’s up with you? Why do you look like you’ve seen a—”

And then he followed Suguru’s gaze.

His words died in his throat as his eyes landed on Y/N, who sat up beside him on the bed, the blanket pooled around her waist. Her wide, innocent eyes flicked between the two of them, her cheeks tinged pink. She looked like she’d just been caught doing something forbidden, and for a second, Satoru’s brain malfunctioned.

Suguru, on the other hand, had no such delay in his reaction.

“S-Satoru,” he stammered, pointing an accusatory finger at Y/N. “Is that your fucking doll?”

“What?” Satoru mumbled, his brain struggling to process the situation.

Suguru’s voice rose an octave. “Is that your fucking doll—as in the one you’ve been dreaming about?”

Satoru blinked, his head whipping back toward Y/N. It took him half a second to notice the familiar features the same face, the same eyes, the same everything.

His heart slammed against his ribcage as realization dawned on him. “Y/N?”

“Hi, Satoru,” she said sheepishly, offering him a small wave.

“Oh god, she’s real?!”

“Wait—am I still dreaming?” Satoru clutched his head in disbelief, his hair sticking out in all directions as he panicked.

“No, you’re not dreaming, you idiot!” Suguru shouted, clearly losing it. “What the fuck is going on here?”

The room erupted into chaos. Satoru was freaking out, Suguru was borderline hysterical, and Y/N looked like she wanted to sink into the mattress and disappear. The shouting continued, overlapping and incomprehensible, until Y/N finally snapped.

“I—” she began, but before she could explain herself, a flicker of fear crossed her face. She panicked and quickly transformed back into her doll form, collapsing motionless on the bed.

The sudden silence was deafening.

Suguru’s jaw dropped as he pointed at the now-lifeless doll. “Holy shit she just turned back into the doll! She was real! I saw her! She was breathing! She spoke! What the fuck, Satoru?”

But Satoru wasn’t listening anymore. His trembling hands reached out to pick up the doll, his heart thundering in his chest. All the panic and chaos in the room melted away as he cradled her in his hands, his wide, blue eyes fixed on her face.

“She’s real,” he whispered, his voice trembling with awe. “She’s... really real.”

Suguru threw his hands in the air. “That’s all you have to say? ‘She’s real?’ This is insane!”

Satoru ignored him entirely, his thumb gently brushing against the doll’s cheek as if trying to coax her back to life. “Y/N,” he murmured softly, his voice filled with something Suguru had never heard before pure, unfiltered affection.

Suguru groaned, pacing the room like a madman. “This explains everything why you’ve been skipping school, why you’re acting like a lovesick puppy, why you keep carrying that damn doll everywhere like it’s some kind of treasure!”

Satoru didn’t even bother denying it. He looked up at Suguru with a soft, almost dazed smile. “Because she is a treasure, Suguru.”

Suguru froze mid-step, staring at his best friend as if he’d grown a second head. “You’re hopeless,” he muttered, rubbing his temples.

Satoru smirked, his confidence finally returning. “Hopelessly in love, maybe.”

Suguru gagged. “Gross. Don’t say shit like that to me.”

Satoru leaned back against the headboard, cradling the doll close to his chest. “You wouldn’t understand, Suguru. You’ve never met someone like her.”

“You’re talking about a doll, Satoru.”

“She’s not just a doll,” Satoru shot back, his voice unusually firm. “She’s... her. And I’m going to figure out everything how, why, what she is. But for now...” He glanced down at her, his gaze softening. “For now, I just want to keep her close.”

Suguru groaned again, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Fine. Whatever. But you’re going to school tomorrow whether you like it or not. I’m not covering for your lovesick ass anymore.”

As Suguru stormed out of the room, grumbling under his breath, Satoru let out a soft laugh. He turned his attention back to Y/N, his lips quirking into a mischievous smile.

“Guess it’s just you and me again, huh?” he murmured.

And though Y/N remained in her doll form, Satoru could’ve sworn he felt her warmth in his hands, her presence as real and tangible as his own heartbeat.

A week later

The days blurred together for Satoru. Ever since Y/N transformed back into her doll form, he’d been a man possessed. Sleepless nights bled into groggy mornings as he sat by her, pleading and coaxing her to come back. He’d pace his room with her in his hands, whispering to her like a madman.

“Y/N, come on. You’re real I know you are. Just show yourself, okay? Please?”

But no matter how many times he begged, she remained silent and motionless. The frustration ate at him, gnawing away at his resolve.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there,” he’d whisper, his voice hoarse from exhaustion. “You’re not just a doll… I’ve seen you. I’ve felt you.”

Suguru, watching from the sidelines, grew increasingly worried. He believed Satoru when he claimed the doll had moved for god's sake he witnessed it but was it all worth it if his best friend was losing his sanity

“You’re going to kill yourself at this rate,” Suguru said one evening, standing in Satoru’s doorway. His voice was calm, but there was a sharp edge of concern. “You’re not eating. You’re not sleeping. You’re barely holding on, man.”

Satoru didn’t look up. He sat slumped in his chair, the doll cradled in his lap like a fragile treasure. “You didn’t see her the way I did, Suguru,” he murmured. “She was alive. She was real.”

“I believe you,” Suguru replied, stepping closer. “But you’re still human, Satoru. You can’t keep going like this.”

Satoru let out a dry laugh, his head tilting back against the chair. “She’s the only thing that feels real right now.”

Suguru clenched his fists, his patience wearing thin. “She won’t come back if you destroy yourself"

Suguru eventually stormed out, muttering about how Satoru had lost his mind. And maybe he had. The sleepless nights and lack of food caught up to him quickly. His usually radiant complexion was pale, his energy nonexistent. Yet, even as his body begged for rest, he refused to stop.

He made sure the pile of women’s clothes he’d bought for her was neatly folded beside the doll. “Just in case,” he’d murmured, forcing a weak smile.

But the breaking point came that night. After a short, lukewarm shower, Satoru stumbled out of the bathroom, towel barely clinging to his hips. The world spun violently around him, and before he could catch himself, he collapsed onto the cold bedroom floor with a dull thud.

For a moment, there was only silence. Then, as if triggered by the sheer panic coursing through her, Y/N moved.

The once-motionless doll began to glow faintly, her figure expanding and shifting until she was standing there, flesh and blood. Her wide eyes immediately locked onto Satoru’s unconscious form.

“Satoru!” she cried, dropping to her knees beside him. Her hands trembled as she shook his shoulders, trying to rouse him. “Wake up! Please, wake up!”

He didn’t respond. His body was burning, his breath shallow. Her heart clenched painfully she had no idea what to do.

Panic set in, and with no better option, she stumbled to the door. Gripping the handle, she yanked it open and shouted desperately into the hallway. “Help! Please, someone help!”

Her voice echoed through the quiet mansion, startling the household staff. Heads turned, and footsteps rushed toward her.

But the sight that greeted them made them freeze in their tracks. Standing in Satoru’s doorway was a breathtakingly beautiful woman completely naked.

One of the maids blinked rapidly, clearly trying to make sense of the situation. “Uh… ma’am?”

“Please!” Y/N interrupted, her voice trembling with urgency. She pointed toward Satoru’s unmoving form on the floor. “He’s burning up! He collapsed, and I… I don’t know what to do!”

The urgency in her voice snapped them out of their stupor. Several staff members hurried past her to tend to Satoru, while others exchanged knowing looks.

A butler leaned toward one of the maids, muttering under his breath, “Guess the young master’s been… busy.”

The maid snickered, barely able to contain her amusement. “Too much fun, clearly.”

Y/N stared at them, confused by their words but too focused on Satoru to care. Her attention was drawn back to him as the staff carefully lifted him off the floor and placed him onto the bed.

One of the maids approached her with a kind smile, holding out a plush bathrobe. “Here, miss. You should cover up.”

Y/N blinked in surprise, glancing down at herself. The realization of her nakedness hit her like a ton of bricks. Her cheeks flushed bright red as she quickly slipped into the robe. “Th-thank you.”

The maid smiled knowingly. “Of course. Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Just give him some time to rest.”

Y/N’s brows furrowed with concern. “Will he really be okay?”

The maid nodded reassuringly. “Yes, but you should rest too, miss. You wouldn’t want to catch whatever he has.”

The butler chimed in with a teasing grin. “Though, from the looks of it, you might’ve already shared… plenty.”

Y/N tilted her head, confused by his words. Before she could ask, the maid gently guided her toward the guest room. “Come along now. Let’s get you settled.”

As she followed, Y/N glanced back at Satoru’s room, her heart heavy with worry. She couldn’t shake the memory of his smile, his voice calling her name, the way he’d looked at her with such warmth and affection.

She clutched the robe tightly around herself, a determined glint in her eyes. Whatever it took, she wouldn’t let him suffer alone.

Engaged

Y/N sat in the stillness of the room, her gaze fixed on the darkness that stretched endlessly beyond the window. It was 2 a.m. now, the quiet hour where the world seemed to hold its breath. She could feel the shift in her body, the subtle pull that urged her to return to her doll form, but she hesitated. Disappointing Satoru again wasn’t something she wanted to see in those endless blue eyes.

A small, wistful smile played on her lips as her thoughts drifted to that night the night he had thought it was all just a dream.

The memory unfurled like a ribbon, tugging her heart.

“If you were real, we’d be engaged by now,” he had murmured, his voice soft and teasing, but with a glimmer of something deeper behind it.

Y/N had laughed, her voice light as she tilted her head, her doll-like features glowing under the dim light. “Can’t you just be engaged to me while I’m a doll?” she teased, her tone playful yet carrying a hint of challenge.

He’d paused, blinking at her with that boyish grin he always wore when something ridiculous crossed his mind. “Well, that would be wei—” He stopped mid-sentence, his smirk shifting into something almost wicked. “You know what? Hell yeah.”

The next day, she hadn’t expected him to take it seriously. But Satoru Gojo never did anything halfway.

She could still remember the glint in his eyes as he slipped into the room, practically buzzing with excitement. “Tadaaa!” he’d declared, holding up a tiny velvet box with all the theatrics of a magician pulling off his greatest trick.

Inside was a ring, custom-made to fit her doll form perfectly. A delicate thing, impossibly detailed, glimmering like frost in the sunlight.

“Perfect,” he had murmured as he slid it onto her finger, his voice low and reverent, as though he were worshipping a piece of art and in that moment, that’s exactly how he saw her. His perfect creation, his one-of-a-kind treasure.

The memory sent a shiver down her spine. It was absurd, yet so achingly sweet that her heart ached from the intensity of it.

Back in the present, her fingers absentmindedly traced the curve of the ring in her hand a tangible reminder of his devotion, no matter how twisted it might be.

“Perfect,” she echoed in a whisper, her voice barely audible in the silence, her heart caught in the delicate web of his obsession and her own uncertain feelings.

Tonight, she wouldn’t turn back into a doll not yet. Not when the thought of seeing disappointment flash in his brilliant eyes weighed heavier than her own exhaustion.

After all, she was his, wasn’t she? His perfect doll, his perfect fiancée whether she wanted to be or not.

Her eyes flickered toward the door, toward the hallway that led to Satoru’s room. A part of her itched to go, to check if he was okay to see if he’d gotten better after what she’d done to him. But the guilt clawed at her like a shadow with teeth, whispering cruel reminders that it was her fault he’d ended up this way.

The memory of his reaction still made her stomach twist. The way his brilliant, confident eyes had widened in terror. The way his voice, usually so teasing and playful, had cracked when he’d seen her—really seen her.

It had frightened her.

Not because she feared him, but because in that moment, he hadn’t looked like the invincible Satoru Gojo. He had looked small. Vulnerable. And she had been the reason why.

Her hands trembled slightly as she clutched them tighter, nails biting into her palms. Was this what she truly was? A fleeting illusion, a doll that should’ve stayed lifeless? The thought pierced through her, and for a moment, she felt as though she might shatter like porcelain under the weight of it all.

And yet, she couldn’t ignore the pull in her chest the ache to be near him.

“Maybe he’s asleep,” she whispered to herself, her voice trembling, though she wasn’t sure if she was convincing herself or hoping. If he was asleep, she wouldn’t have to see the fear in his eyes again. She could just... look. Just make sure he was breathing, that he wasn’t still pale and trembling like he’d been earlier.

But what if he wasn’t? What if he was awake, and those eyes, which held entire galaxies, were looking at her again not with fear, but with something else? Something raw and unspoken.

Her cheeks flushed at the thought, heat prickling her skin. She knew that look. Satoru was the kind of man who loved fiercely, possessively. He didn’t just want pieces of her; he wanted all of her—every thought, every breath, every heartbeat. Even now, she could hear his voice from days ago, playful yet laced with an intensity that left her breathless.

“If you’re real,” he’d whispered, leaning impossibly close, “then you’re mine.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at the memory. She hated how much those words stirred something inside her, how much she wanted to belong to him, even when everything about their situation felt so utterly wrong.

Taking a shaky breath, she stood, her legs unsteady as she crossed the room. Her hand hovered over the door handle, hesitation gripping her like a vice.

What if seeing him again broke her? What if he still looked at her like she was some kind of nightmare?

But worse what if he didn’t? What if he looked at her the way he always did, with that infuriating, breathtaking confidence that made her knees weak?

Swallowing hard, she pushed the door open just a crack, the faint light from the hallway spilling into the darkness beyond. She bit her lip as she peeked inside, her gaze immediately drawn to the man lying in bed.

Satoru was still, his hair a mess of white against the dark sheets. Even like this, he was impossibly beautiful, his long lashes resting against pale skin, his lips parted slightly in sleep.

Her heart twisted painfully, and before she could stop herself, she whispered, “I’m sorry…”

It wasn’t enough not for everything she’d done. But maybe, just maybe, if she stayed by his side tonight, it could be a start.

And maybe, just maybe, she’d find a way to belong to him in the way he so desperately wanted.

Fun

Y/N stood frozen, her gaze fixed on him. The moonlight filtered through the curtains, casting a faint glow over Satoru's pale, vulnerable form. Soon, she’d turn back into her doll form—she always did—but before she could react, a strong hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and yanking her forward.

She let out a startled yelp, stumbling ungracefully onto his lap.

“Doll.”

His voice was hoarse, heavy with exhaustion but laced with an undeniable hunger that sent a shiver down her spine. She barely had time to process the searing warmth of his hand encircling hers, the way his grip was firm, unrelenting, as though afraid she might vanish into thin air.

For a moment, silence enveloped them, the only sound the quiet rhythm of their breaths. His blue eyes locked onto hers, piercing and overwhelming. Time seemed to stop as the world narrowed to just the two of them, their proximity leaving her dizzy and flustered.

Satoru’s hands found her waist, his long fingers moving in slow, deliberate strokes along her sides, grazing her with a featherlight touch that sent electricity racing through her veins. Her cheeks flushed, her breath hitching as she tried to look away, but his gaze held her captive.

“You feel so real,” he murmured, his voice a mix of awe and something darker, something possessive. His head tilted, his snowy lashes fluttering as his eyes fluttered closed for a brief second.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N whispered, her voice trembling. She dropped her gaze, guilt twisting her insides.

Satoru’s eyes snapped open, sharp and commanding. “If you’re so sorry,” he said, his voice low and filled with quiet intensity, “don’t you dare turn back into your doll form.”

Her breath hitched at the weight of his words, the authority in them sending a jolt through her. “A-alright,” she stammered softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “But… there are limits to my capabilities.”

His sharp gaze softened, and that boyish smirk the one that always managed to disarm her curved his lips. His eyes dropped, and he noticed the tiny ring she was clutching in her hand.

“Is this what I think it is?” he chuckled, his voice dipping into a warm, amused tone. “It wouldn’t be nice for you to ghost your fiancé, you know.”

Y/N’s blush deepened, the memory of his playful proposal rushing back, but before she could say anything, his fingers brushed against her jaw, tilting her chin upward. His thumb traced her bottom lip, the intimate gesture leaving her utterly breathless.

Despite his fragile state, every trace of emptiness in Satoru’s expression had vanished. His eyes sparkled with something close to reverence as he studied her. The doll-like perfection he adored so much was mesmerizing, but it was more than that. It was the way she understood him, the way she made him feel human even when he felt like the strongest yet loneliest man in the world.

His lips curved into a wicked grin, one that made her pulse race. “Does my doll want to feel good again?” he teased, his voice dropping into a husky whisper as his hand drifted lower, brushing the tie of her robe.

Her breath caught, the memory of that one night flashing vividly in her mind. Heat flooded her cheeks as she tried to look away, but Satoru’s smirk only widened.

“Mhm…” His eyes glinted mischievously, leaning closer until his lips ghosted over her ear. “Shall we have fun?”

Y/N’s heart pounded as his words wrapped around her like a spell, her body betraying her hesitation as a shiver of anticipation ran through her.

Earlier that night, Satoru paced around his dimly lit bedroom like a caged predator, his mind spiraling into madness. The doll his doll—refused to show herself. She was out there somewhere, hiding from him, denying him the sweet satisfaction of seeing her delicate face, hearing her soft voice. How cruel of her to stay away. How utterly selfish.

His icy blue eyes glinted dangerously under the faint moonlight seeping through the curtains. Why won’t you come to me? he thought bitterly, raking his fingers through his silvery hair in frustration. His heart pounded with a mix of longing and frustration, each beat fueling his desperation. She was his; she just didn’t seem to realize it yet. But tonight, he’d make her understand.

Satoru’s lips curled into a twisted smile as a dangerous idea crossed his mind. If she wouldn’t come willingly, then he’d leave her no choice. His gaze fell upon the untouched plate of food on his desk. He knew what was in it an ingredient he was deathly allergic to. It wasn’t the first time he’d used this little trick to draw her out. She always came running, frantic and beautiful, whenever he pushed himself to the edge.

“Y/N,” he murmured, his voice dripping with both affection and a dark obsession. “You love taking care of me, don’t you? You’ll come if I need you. You have to.”

Without hesitation, he grabbed the food and began eating like a man possessed. Each bite burned his throat with the promise of pain, but Satoru didn’t care. His hands trembled slightly, he quickly went to his bathroom to make the scene exactly unfold in front of her. His breath quickening as the allergic reaction began to set in. He staggered to the bed, clutching at his chest, his grin widening despite the agony creeping through his body.

His vision blurred, but he could already picture her panicked expression, the way her trembling hands would desperately try to save him. She’d press her forehead to his, scolding him through tears, calling him an idiot her idiot. He loved it when she got like that, so raw and vulnerable.

Collapsing onto the floor, he whispered her name, his voice dripping with sickly sweetness. “Come to me, doll. You can’t hide forever.”

24/7 Possession

Ever since that eventful fun night, life had been bliss for the two of them. Satoru’s endless longing for Y/N had been satiated, and Y/N, despite her initial hesitations, had found her own sense of peace with him. They were inseparable—so much so that the very idea of distance between them was unthinkable.

But, of course, peace never lasted long.

“Ugh, fuck… I have to go to school tomorrow,” Satoru groaned, his muffled voice coming from where his face was buried against Y/N’s stomach. He was sprawled across her lap, holding onto her like a child refusing to let go of their favorite toy.

Y/N’s focus, however, was on the TV, her fingers absently playing with his hair as the show absorbed all her attention.

“Doll,” he muttered, his tone slightly sharper now, his lips brushing against the fabric of her shirt. He tilted his head to look up at her, his cerulean eyes narrowing when he realized she wasn’t paying attention to him.

“Doll.” This time, his voice carried a bite, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

When she still didn’t respond, he sat up abruptly, his presence demanding. With one swift motion, he grabbed the remote and shut off the television, the room plunging into silence.

“Can’t you pay attention to me for once?” he snapped, his gaze sharp as he stared at her.

Y/N blinked, startled out of her trance. “Oh… sorry. What’s wrong?”

Lately, she had noticed subtle shifts in Satoru’s behavior. He was still as sweet and affectionate as ever—borderline suffocating at times—but there was an edge to him now, a sense of restlessness she couldn’t quite place.

“I have to go to school tomorrow,” he said, his voice quieter this time, though no less petulant. He pouted, leaning in close, as if the idea of being apart from her even for a moment was unbearable. “I’ll be gone.”

Y/N tilted her head, unsure how to react. “Okay?” she said cautiously, her tone more curious than concerned.

“Aren’t you gonna miss me?” Satoru’s pout deepened, and his tone carried a slight whine.

She hesitated, her naivety as a doll making her blunt in moments like this. “I suppose I will… but you need school, after all.”

Her attempt at being rational didn’t land well. Satoru’s demeanor shifted almost instantly, his eyes narrowing as a shadow of irritation crossed his features.

“Seems like you barely care about me,” he muttered darkly, his words hanging in the air like a challenge.

Y/N blinked, confused by the sudden change in his mood. She wanted to say something, to reassure him, but the fear of upsetting him made her pause. She had learned by now that upsetting Satoru was… dangerous. It wasn’t just his sharp words or intense glares—when he was truly upset, he’d grow sick, fragile, as though her rejection drained the very life out of him.

Her heart clenched at the thought, and without thinking, she blurted out, “How about I attend with you?”

The suggestion felt ridiculous even to her, but it was the only thing she could think of to ease the tension. She wasn’t fond of the idea, not at all, but if it kept him happy, then maybe it was worth it.

Satoru’s eyes widened in surprise, his frown instantly replaced by a wide, almost manic grin. “That’s a great idea! With that, I’ll have you by my side 24/7!”

Before she could react, he jumped off the couch and dashed out of the room, already muttering about getting the paperwork sorted. His energy was infectious, but Y/N couldn’t help the pit that formed in her stomach.

There was something unsettling about the way he’d latched onto the idea so quickly, as though he couldn’t fathom even a single moment apart from her. A part of her felt… upset, though she wasn’t sure why.

As she watched him disappear down the hall, her hand instinctively reached for her chest, where an unfamiliar ache lingered. Her human form might have made her capable of emotions she hadn’t known as a doll, but it also left her vulnerable.

And with Satoru’s obsessive love pulling her in deeper, she wasn’t sure if that vulnerability was something she could handle or escape.

Arriving on the school grounds after nearly a month of absence, Satoru and Y/N immediately became the center of attention. Whispers fluttered around them like a wave, and eyes followed them wherever they went. Satoru, known for his striking looks and the fact that he was rarely seen with a woman, had entered with a woman now his woman. And not just any woman, but Y/N, who matched his beauty perfectly. The air buzzed with curiosity and awe:

“Oh my god...” “She’s stunning…” “I’d skip school too if I had a girlfriend like that…”

Y/N, her cheeks flushed from the attention, shifted uncomfortably. The stares felt like a weight on her shoulders, each one making her feel smaller. She leaned in close to Satoru, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Satoru, I’m uncomfortable...”

Satoru's lips curled into a smug, almost possessive smile as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. “Aww, doll... just stay close to me, okay?” His voice was soothing, but there was a coldness to it that seemed to warn everyone around them to stay away.

He reveled in the attention they were getting, his ego soaring higher with each admiring glance his doll received. But as he noticed the way the others looked at her, something dark and twisted began to stir inside him. They couldn’t have her. No one could.

He clenched his jaw, his grip on Y/N’s shoulder tightening as he walked, each step full of possessiveness. The need to make every person who dared look at his doll stop was overwhelming. He could feel his temper building, the urge to make them pay.

When they finally arrived at the classroom, Satoru’s friends immediately turned their attention to them. Shoko’s raised eyebrow was the first indication that something had shifted.

“Any explanation?” she asked, smirking as she took in the sight of Y/N standing next to Satoru.

Y/N, feeling a sudden wave of intimidation, instinctively hid behind Satoru, her hands nervously twisting together.

“Hey, now,” Satoru growled protectively, his voice dripping with a possessive edge. “Don’t go scaring my fiancée.”

“Fiancée? The fuck?” Suguru raised an eyebrow, glancing between Satoru and Y/N, clearly confused. He hadn’t heard a word about this, and yet here they were, with Satoru acting like the proudest man alive.

“Well, as you can see,” Satoru said with an arrogance that bordered on smugness, “I’m with my fiancée, Y/N.”

Satoru gently pulled Y/N to his side, his hand firmly resting on her waist as he positioned her in front of him. His gaze flickered over his friends, watching their reactions as they took in the sight of Y/N. Shoko’s eyes widened slightly, but she couldn’t help but mutter, “Mhm... pretty.”

She didn’t say more, but it was clear that even she couldn’t deny the allure of Y/N. The way she held herself, the delicate beauty she exuded it was impossible not to be captivated.

“I’m happy for you,” Shoko added, her tone playful, but her eyes flickered toward Satoru. “Finally, someone bagged you.”

Satoru didn’t answer. He kept his gaze trained on Y/N, his protective instincts almost visibly radiating. But as the banter continued, his attention shifted to something more troubling: Nanami’s gaze.

Nanami had been quiet, as usual, but his eyes were focused on Y/N too focused. It wasn’t the fleeting look of admiration others had, but a lingering, almost appreciative gaze that made Satoru’s blood run cold.

His grip on Y/N’s waist tightened, and his eyes narrowed. What the hell is he staring at?

Y/N, however, didn’t seem to notice the silent battle of wills taking place. Instead, she found herself drawn to Nanami’s eyes there was something about his calm demeanor, the way he took her in, that made her feel... flustered. She couldn’t help but shift under his gaze, feeling an unexpected thrill at being noticed by someone other than Satoru.

That was a mistake.

Satoru’s smile remained plastered on his face, but it was sharp, like the edge of a knife. His jealousy simmered just below the surface. He didn’t like how Y/N squirmed under Nanami’s stare. He didn’t like the way she looked interested.

He cleared his throat, his voice low and almost teasing. “Doll, why don’t you take a seat over there?”

Y/N nodded, her heart racing for reasons she didn’t fully understand. She moved to sit down, but the tension between her and Satoru was thick, suffocating, and he watched her every move like a hawk.

But even as he instructed her to sit, his mind was clouded with dark thoughts. Every time Y/N glanced back at Nanami, the more it ate at him. She was his. His to look at, to touch, to claim. No one especially not Nanami could look at her the way he could.

“Hey, Satoru, you good?” Suguru’s voice broke through his thoughts, but Satoru didn’t answer right away.

He was too busy watching, too busy calculating.

“Uh-huh,” Satoru said with a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His gaze shifted from Nanami to Y/N, and then to Suguru, who didn’t seem to notice the storm brewing in Satoru’s chest.

“Doll,” he murmured softly, more to himself than to anyone else. “You’re all mine.”

The cost of glances

As they arrived back home, Satoru’s room felt like a sanctuary of intimacy, but it also reeked of something darker, something more possessive. Y/N bounced around the room, giddy from the day's experiences, her voice filled with excitement.

“Satoru, it was so fun!” she squealed, her eyes shining with delight as she rambled about everything she had enjoyed. She didn't even notice the shift in Satoru’s calm demeanor, the way his eyes narrowed slightly as he observed her, a faint but undeniable edge to his smile.

He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching her with an almost calculating gaze. “Hey, doll… why don’t you be a doll for a while?” he asked, his voice smooth, with just a hint of something deeper lurking beneath.

Y/N paused, furrowing her brows in confusion. “Why?” she asked, despite already feeling the weight of his words pressing down on her. She tried to smile, but it felt strained, like she was walking on eggshells around him.

Satoru stepped forward slowly, his gaze growing intense. “You need rest too, doll.” His words were soft, but his hands reached for her, brushing a strand of hair from her face before planting a soft, almost reverent kiss on her forehead.

Y/N froze, a sense of unease trickling down her spine. She couldn’t read him. The glasses he wore today made him seem distant, almost unreadable. It was as though he was a different version of himself—still the same Satoru, but... colder, more controlled. She didn’t know what to make of it.

She reluctantly obeyed, her movements stiff and robotic as she slipped into her doll form. As she sat motionless, her heart raced. She hated the stillness, the loss of control, but she had no choice. Satoru had a way of making her comply. She sat there, frozen in place, as the hours slipped by, each second stretching longer than the last.

At dawn, she was startled awake. Her body felt stiff, the transition from human to doll always leaving her aching. She blinked rapidly, adjusting to the soft morning light, and noticed Satoru was already getting ready.

She wanted to ask him what he was doing, but she knew the answer already. She had two more hours before she could return to her human form, and she hated the feeling of helplessness during those moments.

Before she could voice her confusion, she heard Satoru’s voice, calm and chilling.

“Hey, doll… I’m taking you on a trip with me.” His words were punctuated by a sinister undertone, a promise of something neither good nor innocent.

Y/N looked up at him, her stomach twisting. She didn’t know what was happening, but she could feel that something dark was about to unfold. She was so used to his unpredictability, but this time... it was different.

Satoru gently picked her up, his hand sliding under her, and placed her in the pocket of his shirt. His touch was tender, almost too tender, as if it was meant to make her feel safe, even though she had a sinking feeling deep in her gut.

They moved quietly, Satoru’s footsteps soft against the floor, and Y/N could feel her heart racing as they stepped outside.

The air was still. Too still.

And then, Satoru’s voice broke the silence.

“You guys think you were slick with those glances…” He muttered to himself, his words dark and cold, his eyes narrowing as though they were focused on something far away. “How unfaithful of you, doll…”

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat as a chill ran down her spine. His words made her uneasy. What was he talking about?

But then the terrifying truth unfolded before her eyes.

Satoru’s hand moved with startling speed, and before Y/N could even process what was happening, she heard a sickening sound flesh tearing, a sharp gasp of pain.

She looked up, and her eyes went wide in horror.

Satoru was standing over Nanami, a knife in his hand, his expression cold and almost... satisfied as he plunged it deep into Nanami’s chest.

"S-Satoru!?" Nanami gasped, his voice shaking as the horror of the moment enveloped him. Unfolding right in front of Y/N's eyes She wanted to scream, to run, to do something anything but she was helpless, trapped in her doll form, unable to stop what was happening.

Satoru didn’t stop. His eyes were cold, void of any remorse as he delivered each stab with meticulous precision. The blood splattered around them, staining everything in sight.

“This is the cost for letting your eyes linger too much...” His voice was almost casual, as if he were speaking about something trivial, something insignificant. But to Y/N, it felt like the world was crashing down.

She could feel the blood splashing onto her, her skin soaking in the thick, warm liquid. Her body was frozen in terror, her mind racing as she tried to comprehend the chaos around her. Why is he doing this? Why is he hurting Nanami?

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she wanted to cry out, but her body wouldn’t move. She could barely comprehend what was happening—how the man who claimed to love her, the man who always told her that she was his, was now... this.

Satoru stood over Nanami’s lifeless body, his breathing steady, his expression one of calm satisfaction. Then, he turned his gaze to Y/N, his lips curling into a smile that sent a shiver down her spine.

“You’re scared, aren’t you, doll?” he asked softly, almost tenderly. “But don’t worry. He’s the one with the problem, not you.”

Y/N couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. There was no escaping the twisted affection in his gaze, the possessiveness that gripped him, that made him do... this. She was helpless. She was nothing more than his doll, and in that moment, she realized how deep his obsession truly ran.

What could she possibly do against him? Even in her human form, could she escape? No. Satoru’s grip on her was too tight, his control too absolute.

The night had been horrifying. Seven boys seven lives extinguished by Satoru’s cold, merciless hands. Y/N couldn’t forget the blood, the cries, the lifeless bodies left in his wake. The memory lingered, haunting her every thought. She had refused to return to her human form after that her fear far too overwhelming to face what Satoru had become.

But what truly unsettled her was the fact that Satoru didn’t pursue her like he always did. The desperate, obsessive need for her was absent, replaced by a cold, calculated silence. His behavior had shifted. It felt like he was biding his time, waiting for something, but what?

Today, as she lay nestled in the bag Satoru had placed her in for their trip to school, she tried to block out the unsettling feeling in her chest. The soft, rhythmic sound of his steps did little to soothe her. He was different too calm. Even though she couldn’t see him, she could feel his presence, like an ominous shadow looming over her.

When they arrived at school, the air felt heavy. The usual noise and chatter seemed distant, muffled under the weight of something dark. Y/N could feel the tension building, her unease growing with every passing second.

The classroom fell into an eerie silence when the teacher stepped up to the front of the room. Her face was pale, strained with something tragic.

“Class will be suspended for a week due to the recent murders of several students,” the teacher announced, her voice faltering as she continued. “Among the victims was Nanami Kento.”

A collective gasp filled the room. Shoko’s face crumpled in grief, her sobs breaking free as she wailed. Suguru was by her side immediately, offering comfort, his eyes red with concern and pain. But Satoru? He was still. His eyes were empty, his expression lifeless. He didn’t even flinch at the mention of Nanami’s death, as though he were unaffected.

Y/N’s breath hitched in her chest. There was something profoundly wrong in the way he was acting. It was as though the man she once knew her beloved Satoru was no longer here. In his place stood someone unrecognizable, someone terrifying.

Suguru couldn’t help but glance at his best friend, concern lacing his features. He could see the subtle shift in Satoru’s demeanor. The usual playful glint in his eyes had been replaced by an unsettling emptiness. It was almost like the Satoru he once knew had been consumed by something darker, something sinister.

Suguru stepped closer, placing a hand on Satoru’s shoulder. “Hey, man… You okay?” His voice was quiet, unsure, but Satoru didn’t respond. He simply stared ahead, his eyes cold, his gaze distant.

Y/N watched all of this, her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel the growing distance between her and Satoru, like a wall that had silently risen between them. The strange, unsettling calm that he radiated was more terrifying than his usual intensity. She knew him well enough to know that when he was silent, when he was calm… that’s when he was the most dangerous.

Suguru’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “Satoru… you sure you’re alright?”

Without warning, Satoru’s head turned sharply to meet Suguru’s eyes. His gaze was cold, void of emotion. “I’m fine,” he said simply, his voice devoid of the usual warmth. It was flat, almost mechanical.

But to Y/N, the words felt like a lie. Something was brewing beneath the surface, something darker, and she couldn’t figure out what it was. Every part of her screamed that she needed to get away, that she needed to flee before it was too late.

She didn’t know how long she’d been in her bag, but she had become acutely aware of the tension between them. The way he never looked at her, the way he avoided her gaze it was like he was waiting for something. Watching her, yet not seeing her. It made her skin crawl.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of the day, Y/N didn’t feel the usual sense of relief. She felt trapped, cornered by the unsettling presence of Satoru, by his silence, by the coldness that had taken over him.

She felt the bag shift as Satoru picked it up. The movement was precise, deliberate, and she knew he was still in control. He was always in control.

Satoru’s voice, low and chilling, broke the silence. “Let’s go home, doll.”

His words, though calm, sent a shiver down her spine. She could feel the tension tightening in the air, suffocating her, as if something was about to snap.

Doll

Two days passed. Satoru had returned to the man Y/N once knew crazy in love, his eyes filled with affection as he cradled her motionless form. The tenderness in his touch made her heart race.

“You’re so beautiful,” Satoru murmured, his voice low and reverent. “I’m so inlove with you” His words were like sweet whispers in her ear, and despite herself, Y/N couldn’t help but feel warmth flooding her chest. She loved him of course, she did. His every word, every soft caress, made her heart flutter.

But Y/N wasn’t naive enough to ignore the truth. The violence. The bloodshed. The deaths. It was like a dark shadow looming over their every moment of bliss. She couldn’t forget it, no matter how badly she wanted to lose herself in Satoru’s affection.

Three days later, Satoru’s presence seemed to evaporate. He had not come to his bedroom once, leaving Y/N in a state of stillness. Motionless. She wanted to look for him, but something kept her rooted to the spot. Fear. The uncertainty of what was really happening. Was he even still here? The possibility that he could disappear forever like Nanami, like the others sent a chill down her spine.

Could she really leave? Was this the sign she’d been waiting for? To escape from the madness, the blood, the danger that surrounded her? But no she wasn’t ready. She couldn’t escape him. Not when he was everything to her.

Suddenly, a sound broke through the silence distressed sobs, a woman crying. Y/N’s heart skipped. She recognized the voice.

“Oh, Satoru… I can’t believe I’m crying over your ass.”

Y/N’s mind raced with questions. What did she mean? Was Satoru gone? Dead? Had he finally gone too far this time?

She remained still, her body frozen, trying to piece together what was happening. Then, the door opened, and in walked Shoko Satoru’s best friend, the woman who had always stood by his side. Her face was red from crying, her cheeks streaked with tears.

“God, I hate you, Satoru,” Shoko choked out between sobs, her voice breaking. “If I had known you’d be next… after Nanami... I really would’ve…”

She could barely finish her sentence, her hiccups only adding to the distress in her voice. The words slowly started to sink into Y/N’s mind, each one sharper than the last. Satoru was dead? No… It couldn’t be. It shouldn’t be.

The thought of Satoru dead terrified Y/N terrified her to the core but it was also strangely relieving. He scared her. The blood, the killings, his relentless obsession. But... he was also the man she loved. Her protector, her everything. He had given her so much, but now, in his absence, she didn’t know where she stood.

A tear slipped from Y/N’s doll-like eyes, glistening in the soft light of the room. Perhaps it was time for her to let go. To move on to a life free from the darkness Satoru had brought her into.

Then, a sound to her left caused her heart to stop.

A small, white-haired doll, so similar to her size but far more masculine, was placed gently on the study table in front of her. It was a perfect replica of Satoru, but with something off about it. The same gaze, the same features, but lifeless. Cold.

“Well, I’ll see you around,” Shoko’s voice was distant, almost empty as she turned to leave, her words lingering in the air.

But Y/N couldn’t tear her gaze away from the doll. It was... Satoru? Her heart pounded. Was this the end? Had he truly died, and this was all that was left of him?

But as her thoughts swirled, another voice sounded, one so familiar, so haunting.

His eyes those sapphire eyes stared back at her, empty. His body, once so alive with energy, now nothing but an imitation of the man she knew. A doll.

"Do you like it?" His voice came through her mind like a whisper, dark and chilling. "Now, we’re more compatible. Inseparable."

Y/N blinked, her hands trembling as she reached toward him. The familiar form of Satoru, yet... empty. The blood-stained hands that had once taken life were now still, unable to touch her again, to claim her as his. But it was a twisted irony. His obsession had consumed him entirely, and now he had become what he feared most: a doll.

Shoko’s voice echoed in the background, but it was drowned out by the terrifying presence of the figure before her. “You think I would let you go, doll?” Satoru's voice was softer now, though his expression remained just as haunting. "Do you think you can escape me?"

Y/N couldn’t speak. She couldn’t breathe. The words felt like poison in her veins, suffocating her, but she couldn’t move. She stared down at the doll in front of her. Satoru's lifeless eyes never wavered, even as his words played on repeat in her mind.

“Forever,” he murmured. “You’ll always be mine.”

His form had become nothing but a cold imitation. The lines of his face, the tilt of his head, the eyes everything was a perfect replica of the man she once loved. But now, he was nothing more than a hollow object. Yet, in his stillness, in the absence of life, he was still consuming her.

“You thought you could be free,” Satoru’s voice continued, though the words now felt like a mockery, “but you’ll always come back to me.”

The doll sat lifeless, but his presence seemed to fill every corner of the room. His hands, made of porcelain, were colder than the night air. But it didn’t matter. He had won.

Y/N's heart beat in her chest, though her hands were trembling, unable to escape the gaze of the doll, the cold imitation of the man who had consumed her heart.

A tear slipped down her porcelain cheek, and for the first time, Satoru’s voice in her mind quieted. He had become her, in a twisted, ironic way his obsession with her had caused him to be consumed by it.

No, Y/N thought. This was no escape. He hadn’t died. He had just... changed.

But now, more than ever, he would never let her go.

“Forever,” Satoru whispered again.

[bckwardsfrwards]

I’m absolutely starving for pathetic bottom Phosphorus content, may I request a little something where he gets dicked down good by the reader?

Oh anon I have never wanted to write something more. THANK YOU for this ask, if you're feeling brave enough to come off anon DM me!!! I don't bite I'd lovee to talk about him being pathetic <3

Anyways, Amab reader/male reader

They're a metahuman

Wordcount: 2.8k

Oneshot(?) Under the cut. And this is NSFW so MDNI

You had known the doctor for a pretty long time. You met him during his time as a businessman and you remained loyal afterwards. Even though you both wound up in Belle Reve the guards seemed adamant on keeping the two of you separated. It had been a long time since you'd seen him, to say the least.

So when the Doctor, your Doctor Phosphorus walks into your cell instead of the same guard you had grown so accustomed to you practically leap off of your cot. Rushing towards him unsure if this is real or not. Your hands shake slightly, not certain if you should or even can touch him. It's like looking at a ghost.

"You never were much for words huh?" He asks with a nervous chuckle.

"How... How is this possible?" You ask, stepping closer to him and letting your hands grasp his forearms desperately.

"A little good behavior gets you a long way in this joint." He says tilting his head down to glance at where your hands are gripping at his sleeves. You stare at him for a moment, not sure you could speak if you tried.

"You okay?" He asks, barely noticeable concern bleeding into his words.

Instead of answering verbally you pull him into a tight hug. Wrapping your arms around him and tucking your chin over his shoulder. Feeling his overwhelming warmth seep into you, he was more like a living reactor than a radiator. He returns the embrace sighing in what sounds like relief. You smile against his neck as the flames atop his head burn a little hotter.

"I missed you." You murmur before pulling back to look at him.

Before he can get a word in you notice the guards standing outside your cell. Watching the two of you, clearly impatient. Your brow furrows with the fear of having Phosphorous taken away from you when you just got him back .

Phosphorus clearly notices your expression and turns back to glance at the guards before looking back to face you.

"Relax big guy, I didn't even get to tell you why I'm here yet." He says as he cups your cheek gently, careful not to burn you. You listen carefully and attentively.

"Right, I'm getting you out of here. No not out of prison but uh, you're getting transferred to my team's holding compound." He says like you should understand what any of that means.

"Here just, come with me." He says as he takes your hand in his and leads you out of the cell.

He walks like he knows where he's going so you follow without question. Gripping his hand tightly and watching as the guards surround you on the sides and behind.

"It's kinda like old times huh? Except instead of goons they're heavily armed guards in a maximum security prison." He says wryly.

You let out a huff of laughter but don't let your guard down. Eyeing the guards until you arrive at your destination. A much nicer open space with ping pong tables, arcade machines, lounging furniture and games. There are other inmates relaxing, some you've seen others you don't recognize. The guards shut the heavy concrete doors and vanish behind it.

"Pretty nice right?" He asks, his skeletal grin unchanging but you can tell he's pleased with himself.

"Yeah, this is... Nice." You say simply. Still in a state of disbelief that he is here with you.

"That's not even the best part, c'mere." He says as he grabs your hand and pulls you down a hallway of not cells but rooms. He gets to the end of the Hall and pulls you inside one of the rooms, shutting the door behind you. It's nice, bare walled and quaint, more like a cheap motel room than a prison cell. You turn to face him, looking him up and down.

"How'd you do this?"

"Oh just saved the world from certain doom." He says, gesturing with his hands casually.

"I'm serious Alex."

"I'm being serious here! Me and some of the others here killed this fuckin princess overseas it was a whole ordeal. Look I know it sounds ridiculous but you're here right? And that's what matters." He speaks with emotion walking closer to you with every word till you're face to face. He holds your wrists gently and caresses your pulse points with his thumbs. Something he used to do when he was stressed and needed the reassurance of your pulse. To know you were still here and alive.

"I know, I'm sorry, you're right. It's just a little surreal." You speak softly taking one of his hands in yours and bringing it up to your lips. Pressing gentle kisses to his knuckles. Phosphorus sighs deeply, relaxed just by your soft touch. "I've missed you." You whisper.

"I missed you too Loverboy." He murmurs back, bringing one of his hands to your shoulder the other holding the back of your neck. Everywhere he touches is hot but you don't mind, you crave it.

You let one hand rest on his hip the other cupping his cheek softly. You both stand there for a moment basking in the comfort of one another. You hadn't known a friendly touch since before you'd both been arrested. You assumed the same went for the Doctor if the little shiver that ran through him just from your hand on his cheek was anything to go by.

You let your thumb caress his hip, gently massaging the tender flesh. You were glad that despite his skeletal appearance he seemed to be in good health, with a layer of softness on him he hadn't had before. His breath hitches a little and you can tell he's trying to hold back from making any sounds. Embarrassed to be so affected by such a simple touch.

You caress his face softly, tracing his cheekbone with your thumb. "I wanna hear you." You murmur against his neck, pressing faint kisses along his irradiated flesh. His body emits a low hum of bubbling, and each kiss you leave sizzles out against him.

He let's out a low strangled groan when you nip at his collar bone. The flame atop his head burning brighter with every touch.

"Jesus Christ." He whispers as you pull away from his neck to look at him, your eyes heavy lidded.

"Not quite." You say with a mischievous grin before you lean in and catch him in a kiss. It starts sweetly but as you move the hand on his hip to push his shirt up his abdomen his breath hitches. You take it as the opportunity it is and deepen the kiss letting your tongues tangle as your lips move against each other. He groans against your mouth, holding your shoulder and neck with a bruising grip. Kissing Phosphorus is unlike anything else, his heat overwhelming but addictive.

You both pull back panting and grasping onto each other desperately. You take in his unchanging expression, the only hint of your effect on him, the dark green dusting his cheeks. You bring both your hands down to rest on his hips, guiding him backwards until he's sitting on the edge of the full sized bed. You stand between his legs for a moment, towering over him before you drop down to your knees.

"Fuck sweetheart, you don't have to do this." He mumbles out sincerely, reaching a hand down to tilt your chin upwards to look at him.

"I want to." You answer simply. Resting your cheek against one of his thighs and looking up at him lazily. One hand running up and down his inner thigh. "If you'll let me."

"You're gonna kill me." He says almost reverently, petting through your hair for a moment and scratching at your scalp. You bask in the feeling for a moment sighing softly.

"Not a bad way to go." You say with a lazy grin.

When he pulls his hand back you perk up running both your hands up and down his thighs for a moment before tugging at the fabric and raising an eyebrow in question. He nods in affirmation and you pull his boxers and pants down in one go tossing them to a pile in the middle of the room. You bring your attention back to the Doctor whose dick is hard and leaking against his stomach. You eye him hungrily, settling between his thighs and wrapping one hand around his length stroking him steadily.

His reaction is obvious as he tilts his head back and lets out a low groan. You remembered just how he likes it, paying special attention to the underside of his cock and turning your wrist just right. You take your hand off of him and he whines at the lack of contact. Both your hands resting on his thighs running up and down slowly as you lean in and take his cockhead into your mouth.

He lets out a strangled moan clearly trying to hold back on the noise. You suck hard, and circle your tongue around the head. The taste of him almost chemical but still familiar and salty. He pants heavily above you as you take him down as far as you can stroking what you can't fit with one of your hands.

He's practically shaking, his thighs trembling and his abdomen twitching from the stimulation. When you swallow around him he just can't take it and bucks up forcing the rest of his length down your throat. You pull off coughing slightly before wiping your mouth off and catching your breath.

"Shit, I'm so sorry (y/n) I didn't mean to, you just feel so fuckin good," The doctor rambles out in one breath, his chest heaving up and down as he tries to calm himself down. His dick twitching against his stomach, a small puddle of fluorescent precum forming there. You look up at him bleary eyed but still smiling.

"You can make it up to me." You murmur, your voice low and raspy from the cocksucking. You dive right back in, lapping up the pre from his stomach and licking your lips afterwards. You place both hands over the doctor's hips holding them down with all your weight. You lick from the root of his cock to the tip, teasing the head with barely there kitten licks. Without any warning you take him most of the way down your throat in one go. Tears perk up in the corners of your eyes but you blink them away, bobbing your head and hollowing your cheeks with an undeterrable passion.

The Doctor all but freezes, his body going stiff before shivering almost uncontrollably from the intense pleasure. “Oh fuck, (Y/n) just like that… Shit!” He babbles on between heavy breaths and cut off moans.

He reaches down to grasp at anything, roughly gripping your hair, earning him a low groan that sends intense vibrations throughout his entire body. He tries guiding you off for a moment to compose himself before he finishes embarrassingly quickly. You don't let up, taking him down to the root, your throat spasming as you swallow around him.

“(Y/n), Sweetheart I'm gonna fuckin cum if you don't let up.” Alex manages to get out through strained panting, holding himself off from release as long as he can.

You pull off for a moment and he sighs in relief, his body practically shaking. But that relief is short-lived as you stroke him a couple times, only long enough to say, “Good,” before taking the head of his dick into your mouth again. Swirling your tongue around it with ridiculous precision while stroking the sensitive underside of his cock roughly.

“Fuck!” Phosphorus groans out as his orgasm hits him like a freight train. You take him down to the hilt again and can feel his dick twitching uncontrollably. You swallow around him roughly, groaning out from the satisfaction of getting him off. Alex lies on the bed feeling boneless as his body twitches through the aftershocks of his climax.

You finally pull off of him and catch your breath, panting heavily as you rest your face against his bare thigh. He sits back up eventually and starts petting through your hair, you let your eyes fall shut from the gentle touch.

"Thank you," He says softly.

"You're welcome," You mumble against his thigh. You grin lazily before getting up from your spot between his legs. "But we're not done yet." You say as you cage him in against the mattress, your own hard on straining against your pants.

"Fuck," He hisses out as you start to grind your clothed body against his overstimulated dick. "Okay, okay but take this shit off." He says pulling at the base of your shirt.

You comply pulling it over your head and tossing it on the floor. You also take off your pants and underwear kicking them aside before boxing him in underneath you. You run one hand up and down his sides pulling at the hem of his shirt. "This goes too." You murmur pulling it up and over his head, throwing it on the floor.

Both naked now, you rut up against his thigh hissing at the feeling of your sensitive flesh against his burning hot body. You groan low and gravely leaning down and kissing at his neck gently, sensually.

"That feel good?" Alex asks with an airy laugh.

"Mmhm." You nod against his neck in affirmation, grinding against his thigh a little desperately.

"If you actually wanna fuck me the lubes in the top drawer." He says a little breathless as you bite and suck at his pulse point.

"You want it that bad huh?" You ask with a raised eyebrow and a sly grin.

"Don't act like you're not just as desperate as I am. Who's humping my leg right now?" He asks, jokingly irritated.

"Fair enough" You say, your cheeks flushed and hot.

He reaches into the top drawer and grabs some cheap non brand lube tossing it to you. You grab one of the pillows from the head of the bed and slide it under his hips. You pop open the lube drizzling some on your fingers before shutting it and tossing it to the side. You reach down carefully easing in one finger to the first knuckle.

He stiffens slightly and you try to soothe him by running your unoccupied hand up and down his sides. "S'okay I've got you." You murmur softly.

He relaxes slightly and before you know it he's taken the first finger and the second. You scissor your fingers a bit stretching him out some before curling them in search of something. You know you've found it when his whole body burns a little brighter and his cock starts twitching with interest, already half hard again.

"Fuck's sake, I'm ready." He complains, writhing in your grasp.

You lean down pressing kisses to his navel. "I don't wanna hurt you." You murmur softly.

He sighs, relaxing into your touch and accepting he'll have to be patient.

You slide in your third finger stretching him out until you're satisfied. You grab the lube again and squirt out a generous amount onto your hand. Finally stroking yourself, coating your dick with a healthy amount of lube before lining yourself up with him.

"You ready?" You ask softly, looking down at him. He rolls onto his stomach, resting his head against a pillow. It's always been an easier position and one of his favorites.

"Yeah, c'mon. Show me what I've been missing."

You don't wait after that, sliding yourself in steadily till he takes you down to the base. Your chest plastered against his back. You give him a moment to adjust, running your hands up and down his torso, feeling as he shivers from the stimulation. You start to move, forming a steady rhythm that has you both panting harshly.

"Harder," he groans out on a particularly sharp thrust.

You deliver, gripping his hips tightly and snapping yours against his. His back arches into it and he groans as you start nailing him right where he needs it.

"Fuck, just like that." He mumbles against his pillow.

The pace is relentless and you can feel yourself on the edge of orgasm. You lean in kissing his shoulder blade as you fuck into him roughly.

"M'close." You manage to groan out.

He moans in response as you pull his hips back to meet your thrusts. You wrap one arm under him to jerk him off in time with your thrusts. Moving your wrist in time with your hips, leaves you both groaning out in pleasure. You thumb over the head of his dick just right and that sends him toppling over the edge. Cumming all over your hand and onto the bed sheets below.

His body squeezes around your dick like a vice and with a few more harsh thrusts you finish deep inside his heat.

You collapse on your side pulling him against your chest. Your arms wrap around his body as you both bask in the aftershocks of your orgasms.

"Fuck I missed you," He whispers still catching his breath.

"Missed you too Alex." You murmur against the nape of his neck, pressing a gentle kiss to the skin there.

I just spent the last 5 hours writing this!! So if you liked it pls lmk!! My asks are always open <3

[sailor-hufflepuff]

I’m going to answer in good faith that you are actually curious as to our rationale, and not trolling us.

I never said he saved the world. His priority was, and always has been, to turn Ravka into a refuge for Grisha, so that they had somewhere safe to come.

Two, “expanding the Fold” didn’t mean “plunge the whole world into shadow”. It meant “expanding it into enemy territories as a threat, to get them to stop invading Ravka constantly so the country can get a freaking break.” If he had the power to move it where he wanted to, that gave him leverage to bring other governments to the negotiation table.

Next, in the show we are blatantly shown that Novakribirsk is a military town, at that time mostly filled with a rebel faction that were ready to declare war on Ravka (and also were working with the druskelle to sell Grisha to Fjerda). Were there civilian casualties? Yes. But if that attack prevented a full on Ravkan civil war, then the body count would arguably be worth it.

Stealing Alina’s power was where he really messed up. In him mind, he was basically putting her in time out - he made it obvious that he planned on them eventually being equals, but at that point she was too young and impetuous to be trusted with her powers (especially since she had complained CONSTANTLY about wanting them to be gone). Was it wrong? Yes. Can I see his logic? Also yes. In his mind, the two of them had eternity to figure things out between them, he was just making sure she didn’t screw up his plans in the meantime.

This is where it starts to get complicated. Honestly, nearly ALL of the Darkling’s actions from S&S on are nonsensical, and a total contradiction to everything we know about him before that. The Watsonian explanation is usually that the merzhost he used to survive the Fold after Alina abandoned him there drove him insane.

The Doylist explanation is that the Darkling got popular, and LB got too much push back from the puritanical side of the fandom, so she started making him do All The Evil so they readers would understand He’s The Bad Guy (Really, Don’t Look at the Monarchy).

That being said.

If by “hurt Genya” you mean the scarring in S&S, she was a soldier under his command who actively worked against him in a combat scenario. If you’re referring to her serving in the Grand Palace… that is 100% on the King and Queen, not him.

Attacking Alina’s home and killing her mother-figure (honestly a laughable concept, nothing about Ana Kuya before that implied any such relationship): he was trying to stop Alina. She was fighting a WAR against him, and was the only person with a chance of stopping him.

What should he have done? She’s the one who brought Keramzin into it by sending Grisha there. He didn’t harm the children, whatever he claimed, but he executed her allies.

He is a General. Fighting a War.

Those people he was taking from her? Abusers. Monarchy supporters. Turncoats. In his mind, he was freeing her from their influence. They were the ones holding her back.

Again, I don’t agree with these actions, I think they were not the correct way to handle things - mostly because he SERIOUSLY underestimated Alina’s selfishness and desire to fade into obscurity with Mal regardless of what that meant for the world - but if you remember that these are two military leaders in a war where thousands are dying, and not a YA couple going through a bad breakup…

The logic isn’t hard to understand.

“Heroes” and “Villains” exist in context. If there were someone who was better for Ravka, who helped people and made the world a better place, then yes, he would be an example of an anti-hero becoming a villain in his extremis.

But there isn’t. Literally every other character on the “Hero” side does things just as bad - and usually worse - for the country.

Meaning when you tally the actual outcomes of characters actions, for good or evil… he comes out as the greatest force for good in the entire narrative.

How can you call that person a villain?

Apparently I need to say it again:

While other people may ship darklina because they enjoy seeing the heroine with the villain, I ship them because I DON’T think he’s a villain.

In fact, all things being equal, he did more good for Ravka and the Grisha than all the “heroes” combined.

[antinousletmehit]

Odyssey!Telemachus and a reader from a matriarchal country? Considering how much more of a bitch /affectionate he is, i imagine that’d be a fun little clashing of minds

Telemachus stood tall, arms crossed, his posture exuding arrogance as he stared at you from across the courtyard. You had just finished explaining the customs of your homeland—a matriarchal society where women ruled, commanded armies, and wielded power with ease. He looked as though you’d just told him the sky was green and the sea was made of wine.

“That’s ridiculous,” he scoffed, his lips curling into a smirk. “Women commanding armies? Making decisions for entire cities? That’s the job of men.”

You raised an eyebrow, already irritated by his dismissive tone. “Ridiculous to you, perhaps. But in my homeland, men are raised to follow, to support. They don’t need to flaunt their strength or arrogance to prove their worth.”

Telemachus chuckled, the sound dripping with condescension. “Is that so? Then I suppose they’re all weaklings, hiding behind their mothers’ skirts.”

Your eyes narrowed, and you took a step forward, meeting his gaze head-on. “Weaklings? Hardly. They’re wise enough to understand that strength isn’t the only measure of a leader. Perhaps you could learn something from them, Telemachus.”

His smirk faltered for a moment, but he quickly recovered, straightening his shoulders. “I don’t need lessons from anyone—least of all from a woman who thinks men should be subservient.”

“Subservient?” you repeated, your voice rising. “That’s rich, coming from someone who can’t fathom the idea of equality. You strut around like you’re the king of Greece, but tell me, Telemachus, what have you done to earn that arrogance?”

His jaw tightened, his pride clearly wounded by your words. “I’m the son of Odysseus,” he said, as though that was all the justification he needed.

“And yet you cling to your father’s name like a child holding onto a toy,” you shot back. “Have you ever thought about who you are, Telemachus? Or are you content to live in his shadow forever?”

The words hit their mark, and for a moment, Telemachus was silent, his confident facade cracking ever so slightly. But then he stepped closer, his eyes blazing with defiance. “And what about you?” he countered. “Do you think your homeland’s ways make you superior? That you can just waltz into Ithaca and lecture me about leadership?”

You met his gaze, unflinching. “I don’t think I’m superior, Telemachus. I think I’m different. And maybe that difference is exactly what this place needs.” The two of you stood there, locked in a silent battle of wills, the tension crackling in the air like a storm about to break. Finally, Telemachus let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“You’re weird,” he muttered.

“And you’re insufferable,” you replied with a small smirk.

[cautotelic]

Chapter 5: Been Like This

Ambessa Medarda x Reader

Synopsis: When you get taken away from your home land and thrown into the palace of the infamous warlord, will things be as bad as they first seemed?

CW: SMUT (what we've all been waiting for), kinda fluff, Ambessa being downright downbad, yes the title is from that Doja Cat song 🤨

A/N: enough with the sadness, let the tension end. please leave more replies/comments I LOVE reading them and knowing y’all enjoy the story:))

The next few days go by painstakingly slow. I help the physicians with tending to the injured warriors. I’m back to avoiding Ambessa, still somewhat upset with her. Whenever I think about her I’m drawn between being so frustratingly angry at her and just wanting to thank the fact she’s, in her words, alive and well.

Whenever I get the chance during the day I’ll go into my room and try to get a bit of sleep before leaving for the night, knowing that Ambessa has been residing in my room. Maybe she’s hoping that I’ll come back at the same time she's there, but I doubt that.

Currently I’m outside of the estate collecting snow in a bucket to take inside for the physicians. Being in my own thoughts I don’t hear the crunching of snow beneath boots coming from behind me. 

“You should really wear a coat out here, little lady.”

I smile. “You want to give me a hand or are you just going to stand there and look pretty?”

The crunch of snow grows closer before Rictus’s big, burly form comes into view. He settles himself behind me and pulls something out of his cape, a blanket. 

I hold my hand up. He continues to unfold it. “The General would have my head if I let you get frostbite out here.”

“Why does she bother?” I mumble as I feel the weight of the blanket being placed around my shoulders. I will admit that I am thankful for the blanket.

Rictus hums as he takes the bucket out of my hands and begins shoveling in the snow with his own gloved hands. “She has a weird way of showing it, but she really does care about you. It’s the reason she brought you here,” he admits.

My brows furrowed in confusion but Rictus continued. “She and your father had a meeting negotiating trade deals and land disputes, the regular diplomatic conversations,” he says and I nod. “I remember you standing in the corner of your fathers office, just a tiny little thing, barely noticed you were there. But when we got back on the airship, you were all she could talk about.”

“She sent your father a letter asking if he would trade you for extra trading goods. He refused and she threatened him with war.” The bucket of snow is full so Rictus stands, I copy his movements as we start to make our way back to the estate. “Of course she knew of your power and wanted you to train her soldiers, but she also saw how miserable you looked, like a bird trapped in a cage. Her stronger feelings for you only transpired after you arrived.”

We step back into the estate and hand the bucket of snow to the physician standing there. I watch her leave before turning to Rictus. “Why are you telling me this?”

“So you understand why I have to do what I’m about to do next,” he utters, a hint of guilt showing in his expression.

“What-“

In an instant I’m scooped up and thrown over his shoulder as he begins walking down the hallway. A small gasp comes out as I am disoriented. “Rictus put me down. Where are you taking me?” I protest.

My struggling does nothing to sway him into putting me down. “The General hasn’t slept for a week because of you and personally, I don’t enjoy being yelled at,” he grunts as he readjusts me on my shoulder.

The realization hits me. He’s taking me to Ambessa. I start hitting his back. “Rictus, put me down now. I don’t want to see her,” I declare.

I protest the whole way until we walk into a room lined with bookshelves. He sets me down on my feet and I turn around to face Ambessa who is sitting at her desk. The surprise on her face tells me that all this was all by Rictus’s own doing. 

“General,” Rictus nods towards Ambessa before walking out of the room, leaving us together.

The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I stand awkwardly in the center of her study as I shift from foot to foot. Her study is just as warm and inviting as her bedroom. Throw blankets adorn the couch sat in front of the fireplace and soft rugs cover the floors.

I look up at Ambessa and she isn’t looking at me but I can tell she’s tired.

“I don’t know why he brought you here, I told him, and everyone else for that fact, not to bother you,” she states coldly as she writes something down in the ledger on the desk.

Just hearing her talk and being in her general vicinity has all my anger resurfacing. I let out a chuckle. “You’re a real piece of work, you know?” I accuse as I stalk towards her desk.

She stops writing, folds her arms, and leans back in her seat, an amused expression playing on her face. “Oh you're in no position to talk about being a piece of work, but please, do tell.”

I bite the inside of my cheek, growing irritated. “You are so incredibly maddening. I cannot fathom how anyone gets anything done around here with you.” When I get close enough I trail my hand along the edge of her desk. “For the past month I spent the whole time believing you were dead, hoping you weren’t so I could do it myself. But now…” I sigh as I look at her, looking for answers to the ache I feel deep in my bones. “I can’t even find the strength to stay mad at you.”

Our eyes lock and I wonder if there is just as much emotion in my eyes as there are in hers. I draw closer to her slowly, unsure and uncertain. Reaching out I touch her cheek with the backs of my fingers softly. 

She leans into the small touch before grabbing my hand and pressing kisses to my palm. “Forgive me… please.”

My body leans towards her hesitantly, eyes darting between her lips and her eyes. I gently press my lips to hers, my own silent apology and many words unspoken. I feel her smile into the kiss as she lets me lead. My own repressed desires surface as I move to press myself closer to her. Ambessa stands from her desk chair, breaking our kiss as her hands come under my thighs and lift me onto the cool wood of her desk. My hands move on their own accord touching any part of her that I can. She chuckles at my eagerness before lifting her shirt off, her bindings going with it. I stare at her for a good second admiring her as her hands go to the bottom hem of my shirt. She looks at me, waiting for me to push her away, to close myself off again.

I don’t.

I mutter a soft ‘yes’ and she takes my shirt off. Unlike our kiss in the library, her fingers find my skin, going over the scars on my chest and torso. Under her observant gaze I feel self conscious and I curl in on myself.

Ambessa notices this and makes a noice of displeasure. Her head dips back down and her lips brush against the shell on my ear, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. “Do you know how turned on you make me, sweetheart? Hm.” She hums as she nuzzles her nose into the crook of my neck. I shake my head and she groans. “Too much. I get all hot and bothered when you're fully dressed, so don’t worry about this,” she says, her hands trailing up my sides. “You're perfect.”

Her lips find mine again as she lifts me off the desk and walks us over to the big couch in her study. Laying me down on the couch she makes quick work of my pants as well as her own. She leans down and sucks on the skin of my neck, leaving dark marks that will stay. Her hand travels down, down until it touches my waiting core. She teases, circling her fingers around my clit. I let out a frustrated whine and she chuckles.

“So impatient,” she hums, kissing my ear.

She’s merciful and slowly enters her fingers. Her pace starts out slow and deliberate, sinking them in before, dragging them almost all the way out, before doing it over again. I sigh, pleased that she’s finally touching me but wanting her to speed up. 

My hands come around to her back, grabbing as much of her as I can before pushing her into me. I turn my head to it’s right by her ear. “I know you love me, but I want you to fuck me like you hate me,” I nearly demand.

She chuckles into my skin. “I would be careful what you ask for, little one,” she purrs as she bites down onto the space between my neck and shoulder. She speeds up the thrusts of her hand as she curls her fingers up and brushes that spot inside me. I gasp. She mimics my face and sound. “There,” she says breathily. “Is that what you wanted? Hm. To be treated like this, like a toy for me to use?”

I let out a strangled moan into her ear. My noises only egg her on as she fucks me. My nails dig into her back. 

“So fucking wet, your basically swallowing my fingers. You dirty, dirty girl,” she says as she leans away from me looking down at my sopping cunt. 

She uses the thumb of the same hand to gently circle my clit, light and slow motions. She watches her own fingers disappear inside me, she damn near moans at the sight. I quickly shut my legs closed at the sensation, feeling overwhelmed. She roughly pushes them back open as I feel her go deeper.

“Fuck…” I sigh. It’s all too much, her, my body. I reach my hand down to grab at her wrist. For what exactly, I’m not sure, but the coil in my stomach is winding tighter and tighter, I feel like I might burst.

Ambessa looks down at me with a dark expression on her face as she grabs both my wrists in her free hand and holds them against my stomach, leaving me helpless as she tortures my body.

“Mm that’s much better, don’t you think, little one?” She chuckles as she bullies her fingers into me at an unforgiving pace.

The sounds leaving my mouth are absolutely, downright shameful. But I can’t find it in me to care right now. Moans and whines leave my lips but Ambessa swallows them in a kiss. 

“Please please ple-ah,” I jolt as she hits that spot. She takes notice and focuses on repeatedly hitting that spot as her circles on my clit fasten.

The coil begins to fray, the pressure too much. “A-ambessa stop I-“ I’m cut off by my own moan.

She looks down at me and hums. “Are you close? Going to make a mess for me, pretty girl?” She coos.

I struggle against her hold trying to get away from her and the feeling in my stomach as my breathing grows ragged. I cry out as my orgasm washes over me, my back arched, Ambessa smiles as she fucks me through it.

When it’s finished I close my eyes and regain my breathing. I stay like that for a while, my hands coming to cover my face.

Before I can even open my eyes again I’m being flipped onto my stomach, my chest being pushed into the couch, ass up. I yelp as I crane my head to look behind me. Ambessa leans over my body so that her head is right beside mine, her bigger frame covering mine. I feel something prod at my backside. I go to look and she turns my head to look at her. She trails kisses along my shoulder blade.

“That first one was for your pleasure,” she says, almost proudly. “These ones are for mine.” 

“What are you- oh my god,” I moan as I feel her strap enter me. When the fuck did she put that on?

My mouth forms an ‘O’ as she sinks deeper into me, inch by inch. I dig my fingers into the couch to keep me grounded. Ambessa leans over and kisses my cheek, laughing softly. 

“I won’t be as kind.”

“Sadist much?” I spit out, my voice coming off weaker than I expected.

A loud smack sounds through the room and I jolt forward, gasping at the sting. Ambessa’s hand rubs over the spot. “I do hate disobedience, and you're far overdue for a lesson,” she leans down to my ear. “Let’s fix that, shall we?”

Her weight lifts off me. “If it’s too much, let me know.” As soon as I nod her hips snap forward. A short scream leaves my throat at the action. 

Her pace is so deliberately slow it makes me want to cry. I groan into the couch. I move my hips in sync with her, fucking myself back on her. Her hand comes and grip my hips, halting my movements and I whine.

“You want me to go faster?” She asks, and I nod desperately. “Well who am I to deny you that?” There’s a hint of something in her voice but I couldn’t care less as she does indeed pick up the pace.

I’m a moaning mess as she does. I’m muttering curses and small ‘thank you’s under my breath as I approach my climax faster this time. 

This time when I finish, Ambessa doesn’t stop. I whimper, overstimulated. “T-too much- Ambessa.”

She chuckles behind me as she grunts, speeding up her pace. “This is your lesson for being so damn mouthy. I told you that this wasn’t for your pleasure, it’s for mine. So fucking take it or do you want me to stop?” She slows to a complete stop before pulling out. She waits a solid few minutes waiting for my growing orgasm to subside.

I cry out at the loss of stimulation. “You're such an asshole,” I seethe.

She shrugs before pressing back into me at a brutal pace. “So damn stubborn,” she says.

Ambessa has me a moaning mess in less than a few minutes. She kisses down my back, over my scars. “So fucking pretty. You like this huh? You like me being mean to you.” All I can do is nod and mumble incoherently at her words.

“What happened to that attitude that you had earlier? Am I fucking you too good for you to act out now?” She teases. 

Although she is acting unaffected, her small moans and sighs are telling me she is getting off from this, from me.

I’m getting closer to my 3rd orgasm and her thrusts are growing erratic and inconsistent. “Fuck…” she groans from behind me and I can tell she’s close too. She speeds up and a guttural moan leaves my lips as my body shakes.

She keeps thrusting her hips forward, chasing her own release. I tap her hand on my hip. “Stop Ambessa.”

She quickly pulls out of me and flips me around, concern written on her face. Her hand comes to cradle my cheek. “What’s the matter? Did I-“

I flip her over so she’s on her back before climbing on top of her, sinking down onto her strap. I moan at the feeling, feeling it go deeper than in the other position. Ambessa looks up at me from her spot below me. “Darling you don’t have to-“

“Shut up,” I sigh as I begin to move. She moans at the sight and the friction on her own cunt. I bounce up and down on her strap, moans leaving my lips as I look down at Ambessa watching her face contorted in pleasure. 

I fold over and suck marks into her neck as soft sighs and moans leave her lips. Her body is growing restless and I know she’s close. 

She leans into me, worry etched into her brows. “You need to finish first. I can’t-“

“You can and you will. You better fucking finish, Ambessa I swear to god,” I chuckle as a breathy moan leaves my lips. 

I pick up my pace, my breast moving in time with my bounces. I reach down and roll her nipple between my fingers earning a small sigh from her. 

Her face should be casted in a painting for my eyes only. Her eyes watch the strap as it goes in and out of me. Her moans growing more and more desperate.

“Are you going to come for me, General? Gonna get off to me using you to pleasure myself?”

At my words her arms reach up to me as she pulls me to her chest. She props her feet up, heels digging into the couch as she thrusts up into me. 

“Oh my god- fuck fuck fuck.” I say into her skin. She’s shuddering at this point. “I’m gonna come- fuck.”

My orgasm wracks through my body, our combined moans filling the room. My body goes limp and we stay like this, me on top of her, as we both catch our breath. I raise my head and peck a kiss on her lips.

She moves under me, sliding her strap out of me, I hiss. She chuckles as she lifts me and sets me down to stand. I wobble a little on my feet but her arm is there to steady me. She wraps one of the blankets on the couch around me before wrapping one around herself and then scooping me up.

We walk out of her study and into the hallway and I’m met with Rictus standing on the other end of the dead end hallway. My face reddens as we approach where he is standing against the wall. 

“Why is he down here, Ambessa?” I ask, embarrassed.

She shrugs. “Making sure no one bothered us,” she says nonchalantly.

Someone needs to give him a pay raise. 

We pass by him and he gives a curt nod to Ambessa before looking down at me wrapped in the blanket. 

“Good talk?” He questions with a mischievous, barely there smile.

“Good talk,” I affirm as Ambessa keeps walking.

She takes me to her room and we shower to wash the sex off of our bodies. I dote on her, washing her hair and body even though she insists she can do it herself. She dresses me in her clothes before laying us down in her bed. I lay my head in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. Her hand lazily runs up and down my back, I no longer flinch at her touch as it lulls me to sleep.

For the first time in years I get a full night's sleep.

[heaven4lostgirls]

forbidden love! Junior x Fem!gryffindor reader where Barty hates that you have to hide. PLOT TWIST (cus I need drama lols) Barty gets in a fight with another guy who said rude crap about reader/y/n and bartys getting hurt when reader steps in with magic and threats.

Ppl don't mess with Barty any more.

pairing: barty crouch jr x fem!gryffindor!reader

summary: request above!

warnings: mentions of blood purity, barty crouch sr. voldemort, slytherin hate, not proofread, graphic descriptions of blood + violence

word count: 1.4K

“No” Barty whines as you disentangle your limbs from his. As you leave the warmth of the blankets laid over his bed, you’re met with a breeze that has you shiver slightly.

Barty tugs at your arm as you swing your legs over the bed and lean to grasp your wand, “Come back to bed” he mumbles as he tries to pull you back under his green bedsheets.

It’s earlier than you would normally wake up, around 4AM you’d assume, given the dark sky you can see from the window to the left of Barty’s bed.

Barty and yourself both knew that the consequence of spending the night in his dorm meant that you’d have to sneak out the following morning before anyone else woke up.

It was one of the worst parts of keeping your relationship a secret. Barty hated sneaking around, not being able to tell anyone how much he adored you or having to reign in his possessive and jealous nature.

He had to grit his teeth and stand by as some brave – or rather stupid – Gryffindors tried their luck with you in hopes of asking you to Hogsmeade. Barty however found relief in being able to hex them in the corridors which was expected from students in Slytherin.

“You know I can’t stay” You whisper into the quiet of the room and Barty only gives a grumbled response, his dark hair framed across his pillow as he blinks open his eyes to pout at you.

“I’ll hex anyone that says anything, just come back to bed” he says again and although you roll your eyes, you can’t help the little flutter within your heart at the sentiment.

“You also know it’s not about the Hogwarts student body” you say pointedly as you reach for an old long sleeve quidditch jersey of Barty’s  to lay over your pyjamas to shield you from the cold.

Barty’s irritated groan is louder than it needs to be for this early in the morning, though you can’t help the small laugh that leaves you as he throws what can only be described as a small tantrum.

“I’m going to kill my father one day” Barty swears, and you snort before gathering the rest of your clothes, kissing Barty sweetly before hurriedly making your way to your own common room.

Interhouse relationships within Hogwarts weren’t necessarily looked down upon, It often fostered unity within the Hogwarts community and was sometimes even encouraged.

Although, with that knowledge also came the understanding of house rivalries. Gryffindor and Slytherin’s house rivalry was one of the most well known rivalries within the school.

Tensions only grew  higher as house loyalties filtered into external loyalties, as pureblood Slytherin students’  families affiliated themselves with Voldemort and the dark arts and as Gryffindor families chose to walk the line of the light.

Therefore, it was only reasonable to assume that your relationship with Barty, if public knowledge, would cause somewhat of a hysteria among students.

Not only that, considering that Barty Crouch Sr. was known to be intolerant politically of any support of Voldemort and his little cult, he was also equally intolerable of his own son.

One was more publicly known than the other however Barty knew full well, should news of his relationship with you reach the media, Barty would soon be associated with Voldemort and his fathers campaign would be in jeopardy.

So, therefore. A secret relationship between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin bloomed under moonlit skies and abandoned corridor kisses.

As you reached your common room, you made quick work of sneaking into your dorm as the rest of your roommates laid sleeping. Under the covers you close your eyes to allow yourself a couple hours of more sleep.

The following morning, as you sit at the Gryffindor table, slowly eating your breakfast as you try to rub the sleep out of your eyes, you can hear the loud chatter of the marauders to your left and Marlene’s grumbling to your right.

Your seat allows you to view the Slytherin table and you can make out the figures of Barty, Evan and Regulus all sitting huddled together. Barty meets your eyes over the tables and gives you a slight wink which has your cheeks warming.

You look down and continue to eat your breakfast as you converse with Lily about your classes for the day.

You’re disrupted by the sound of glasses shattering and gasps, a small wail cuts through the air and before you know it, you’re on your feet looking frantically at the Slytherin table.

Barty has his hands on Mulciber’s robes, his gaze angry and his form trembling. You can see Evan trying to talk him down and Regulus watching curiously. Barty seems to be yelling and you bring yourself out of your shocked daze to hear his voice.

“-SAY THAT AGAIN ABOUT HER, I DARE YOU!, I’LL CURSE YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING BLOODLINE, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING TWAT!” Barty yells and gasps filter around the dining hall as Barty shakes Mulciber mercilessly.

Mulciber smirks menacingly before whispering something to Barty that has his nostrils flaring, he pulls back one of his arms to punch the living daylights out of the other Slytherin, however before he can he’s met with a curse from Avery that has his flying back into a wall.

Your heart stops as Barty’s head thuds against the wall, his form laying limp against the concrete. Your eyesight blurs at your tears but you can see the figures of Evan and Regulus standing up, wands at the ready as they throw spell after spell at Mulciber and Avery.

You hear commotion as Sirius and James both call out worried as a stray spell hits Regulus which has him down for a count before he stands up again, his gaze cold and unflinching.

You’re moving before you know it, running across the dining hall, away from Lily’s worried “Y/N don’t!-”, as you watch as Snape’s disgusted expression looks at Barty’s still slumped over figure.

Barty has a trail of blood running down his forehead, he stirs a bit as he looks up to be met with the end of Snape’s wand.

Snape stares at him boredly before he starts, “Sectum-”

“Don’t you fucking touch him” you hiss as you grasp your wand, hissing out a powerful ‘Expelliarmus’ that has Snape being thrown back towards Mulciber and Avery.

They both look at Snape in shock before they turn to your blazing form, your eyes manic as you stand protectively in front of Barty. Evan and Regulus both walk to stand at your sides as the three of you look towards Mulciber and Avery.

“Walk away Mulciber” you say coldly as the Slytherin’s eyes light up before he smirks lazily, “And the little bitch returns to her owner” Avery drawls.

Before you can reply, a strong stinging hex hits Avery that has him cursing as tears rise in his eyes.

“Watch your mouth Avery.” Evan says with his wand being held out in front of him. You look at him in shock and he only shrugs and gives you a small smirk, “You’re one of us.”

You nod softly, you catch the glimpse of a red light heading your way before Regulus moves in front of you to defend you. You hear James and Sirius cursing him out as they also run towards you three as Peter and Remus are instructed to call a professor.

“It’s ill etiquette to curse someone behind their back Mulciber, did your whore of a mother teach you nothing?” Regulus hisses as he hexes Mulciber with a body-binding spell.

Barty’s groaning distracts you from everything as he opens his eyes, confused as he looks around to see you, Evan and Regulus duelling Avery, Mulciber and what looks like Snape’s hunched over form.

“What?” he asks confused as he lifts his hand to touch the top of his head where his wound lies.

You quickly look at Barty’s form before throwing another body bind to Avery as you stomp towards their limp forms.

The first punch has Mulciber howling in pain as blood gushes from his nose, “You come anywhere near my boyfriend again, I will kill you.” You say, gaze unflinching.

Avery struggles under the spell before you kick him in his ribs, “Stop fucking squirming. It’s good to know when one has been bested, yes?” you say with a cold smile as you meet both of their angry yet scared gazes.

“If I see either of you near him again, I will hold true to my promise” you hiss, turning around to the amused yet proud looks of Evan and Regulus who have Barty between them, his form slighting leaning on Evan’s taller figure.

You walk a couple steps before you lift your leg to stomp it down into the middle of Mulciber’s legs which has Evan, Regulus and Barty wincing.

You nod and smile at the pained groan before walking swiftly to Barty, “You okay Bee?” you whisper softly as you look worriedly into his eyes before lifting your hand to lift his hair to get a better look at his wound.

You hiss at the blood before looking at Barty with worry, “We need to get you to the infirmary-”

“You’re so fucking hot” Barty says with a wicked smile.

You splutter and Evan groans to your left, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Regulus says disgusted from your right.

He’s distracted by  Sirius and James sprinting towards him with worry in their eyes. You drown out the sound of what sounds like Regulus being looked over and cursed for being idiotic for just blindly jumping into a fight.

Barty just smirks and looks at you, “Cat’s out of the bag then?” he asks with a hopeful look. You’re confused for a second before you bite your bottom lip with a small shrug, embarrassed.

“Yeah, sorry” you mumble before Barty tsks and pulls you into him, kissing you deeply. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this” he says against your lips.

You only smile and kiss him back

[itsnathateasy]

Hello! Can I request some biker Hange Headcanons or One shots?It's been stuck in my head for days and I really like how you write Hange 💖💕🏃🏻‍♀️💨You can feel free to ignore this request ofcourse!!

warnings: implied accident (but they're all good, i promise!) word count: 1,3k a/n: I LOVE THAT YOU LOVE HOW I WRITE HANGE *FOAMING* CAUSE I’M ALWAYS GIGGLING SO HARD WHEN I’M WRITING THEM AND AHSDOAIJ HEART EYES!!! I hope this lil fic is to your liking anon! Thank you for sending a request and sharing your idea with me! Stay safe!

massive shout out to @satorella for creating this header cause i couldn't do it for the life of me!🩶

“Stop pushing it, Hange! I’m not getting on your bike and that’s final!”

Frustrated, you walked away from them on the sidewalk. You heard them turn off the engine and removing their keys that jiggled with their movements. As they jumped back on the ground, you could hear their footsteps approaching you.

“Don’t be ridiculous, y/n! You’re already late! You should be making it into the office in like... ten minutes! Just, hop on, I promise it’s not a big deal!”

They pleaded with their eyes fixed on you. Their strong hand grabbed you from the shoulder and halted you before you could stroll any further away from where they’d parked their bike.

“Come on, y/n! I’ll go slow and be extra careful!”

“That’s not it, Hange! You know how I feel about bikes! And we don’t even have a second helmet! I can’t ride with you today, I’ll just call an uber.”

“You can use my helmet, y/n, and besides, the office isn’t that far away, I’ll drive through the least busy streets if it makes you feel any better, okay?”

You looked back at them, astound and what they’d just suggested.

“The only thing worse than me getting hurt because I didn’t wear a helmet is you being hurt Hange! Don’t say such things!”

You scoffed and kept on walking away, still frustrated with how it was barely 8 a.m. and you’d already had a fight with Hange, on top of being late for work. Turning to face them, you gave them a quick peck on the lips, zipping and unzipping the top part of their jacket near their neck in a quick, nervous motion. Your hands lingered on the collar of their jacket, not wanting to let go just yet.

“Listen, we both should get to work. Ideally, not both late.”

Hange began to speak again, but you managed to shush them with your finger on their lips.

“I’m upset and I don’t wanna argue about this right now. I’ll call an uber, you’ll go to work with your bike. And we’ll sort this out in the evening. Okay?”

With a soft nod and one of Hange’s kisses on your forehead, your argument was paused.

⊹ ₊ ⋆ 🏍 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡ ⊹ ₊ ⋆ 🏍 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡ ⊹ ₊ ⋆ 🏍 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡ ⊹ ₊ ⋆ 🏍 ₊ ˚ ⊹ ♡

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to ignore me for the entire day...”

Hange giggled as they nuzzled their face in the crook of your neck, kissing a trail from behind your ear, down to your collar bone. Laying with them on the bed after you were both back from work was always a much anticipated time. Today was different though. Hange did their best to get on your good side after your morning argument, but you just wouldn’t give in. They kept texting you throughout the day, but your responses were dry, still upset with their stupid ideas of riding without a helmet. And this argument always took place on the mornings when you’d forgot to carry your own helmet with you! Talk about evil coincidences…

“You’re not off the hook yet! What was it this morning, Hange? Do we really have to fight over motorcycle safety every single week?”

Your words had strung the chords they were supposed to and although you hated to see Hange upset, this was a necessary evil. They stood up and walked in small circles in front of you next to your shared bed.

“I’m never fighting over it, y/n, you are… And I don’t understand why, it’s been so long since-”

“Exactly! It’s been so long and you still insist that I ride with you every time that I don’t have my helmet with me! The sheer thought that I’d ever use your own helmet and leave you exposed is so absurd, the only reason I haven’t slapped you yet is because you’re way stronger than me!”

“That I am!”

They said and didn’t hesitate before pulling both of their sleeves up and flexing their muscles. The silly grin on their face was enough to make you smile, even through your argument. But that was Hange to you, silly to their core and constantly trying to make you happy.

“Promise you’ll never even think of suggesting something like that again, okay? You know how terrible it makes me feel… I won’t be able to stay still on the bike if you’re not 100% protected too!”

Hange sighed and as they let their arms fall, their sleeves rolled back down. Sitting themselves back on your bed, they turned their face towards you, a small smile on their face. How could their eyes be filled with such tenderness towards you even though you’d literally been bashing their ass for the past half hour?

“I promise. For real this time, y/n. I know that time was-”

“Please, let’s not-”

“No, y/n, let’s. Because this may’ve happened years ago, but apparently it’s still bothering you and you’re still punishing me for it!”

You stayed silent, realising how upset they were. And it was true, you kept reminding them about that incident ever so often, blaming them for their irresponsible decision, as if you weren’t to blame as well.

“I know riding without a helmet was careless, y/n... And it was even more careless that I persuaded you to ride with me, without giving you any type of equipment. I’m sorry I was such a fool back then and I’m sorry I didn’t protect you and instead got you hurt. I know it was terrible because my entire life flashed before my eyes and all those weeks that you’d had to have your arm in a cast were the worst weeks of my life. But I promise I’m not as foolish as I was back then. And I’d never suggest that you ride without a helmet if the distance wasn’t as close as your office. Which was also foolish to suggest, I know it’s risky no matter the distance... But it won’t happen again. Is that okay?”

You opened your mouth to speak but held back. If it weren’t for the look in Hange’s eyes, you’d probably go on with being pissed with their behaviour for a little longer. Seeing how they were completely honest about this, you gave them a small smile, which shortly spread on their face as well.

“Even though I didn’t want to talk about this, Hange, I’m really glad we did. I was at fault too. I shouldn’t have agreed to not ride with you that day. I knew the risks and still I… Anyway, it’s out of the way now! And I’m sorry for always making it seem like it was your fault only. Think we’re good?”

“We are, y/n. I knew you’d forgive me!”

Hange began to make themselves comfortable in your arms again and kissing you here and there. You couldn’t help but giggle as well at their sudden change of mood. Between laughters and kissing back, your previous conversation was long forgotten and the peppering kisses soon turned into a full on make out session, Hange’s hands roaming all over your body, touching and squeezing every piece of skin they could lay their hands upon.

“How can you switch from apologetic to giggly to stuffing your tongue down my throat within seconds, Hange?”

You asked, still laughing at their goofy behaviour, but not in the least bit upset with them anymore, as you tried to break free from their hold on you.

“Must be our argument. It’s kinda hot when you’re mad. I should come up with new ways of infuriate you I think.”

With a mischievous grin and playful eyes, they attached their lips to yours again.

[unsensiblelover]

HOW ARE THE BOYS WHILST BAKING WITH THEM?

FORMULA 1 BOYS ✷

synopsis 🍪 : you and boyfriend try out baking for a chance. agreeing that you two need to at least learn how to cook what you'd like to eat.

FEATURING 🍰 : max, logan, franco, and charles

authors note 🧁 : fun to do, hope you all enjoy!

MAX :

you and max were in the kitchen, having just come back from the grocery store. today, you were going to try your hand at baking. you had a bit of experience with it, but max was completely new to the whole process. as you began setting things up, arranging the ingredients, max started unpacking the bags.

"i’m so happy we get to bake. hopefully, these turn out good, yeah?" you said with a smile, plugging in the whisking machine.

max smiled back, setting down a carton of eggs. "honestly, i’ve never baked anything before, so this should be... interesting. let’s just hope i don’t mess it up too badly."

you raised an eyebrow. "wait—you’re telling me you’ve never baked with your mom as a kid? not even cookies or cakes?"

max paused for a moment, his expression shifting slightly. "i moved in with my dad when i was eight, and baking wasn’t exactly his thing." he told you, pulling out the bag of chocolate chips.

you nodded, understanding. "well then, we can fix that, let's start now, yeah?" you smile at your boyfriend. max chuckled, his tone light. "guess so. if i don’t burn the house down first."

"hey, if anyone’s going to burn anything, it’s probably me," you teased, grabbing the flour.

LOGAN :

with your loving boyfriend, you decided to bake a cake with logan, your annoyingly handsome, golden retriever boyfriend who was sometimes clueless, and blonde.

you sent logan out to buy the ingredients, it was a hassle because the american didn't know how to cook, it was you that cooked frequently in your shared apartment with logan. unfortunately, you told logan to stay where he was and you'd be there.

eventually, you arrived at your local grocery store and walked to the baking aisle, albeit you didn't see logan there. you sighed and walked at least three aisles before seeing him near the frozen produce aisle, petting someone's dog. insanely enough the two looked alike.

you sighed, walking over to your boyfriend and lady besides him, her dog kept on a leash. "who's the cutest guy ever?" logan gushed with cuteness at the dog, rubbing its belly.

you smiled at the sight, and humbly greeted the women beside you before grabbing the americans attention. "loges?" you say, the other, lifting up his head, "babe!" logan says, happy to just see you, standing up properly, and immediately standing by your side, automatically interlacing fingers.

logan happily told the lady goodbye before petting the dog one more time, the two of you walking away to grab baking ingredients.

..

it was a disaster, the cake honestly didn't turn out well...after the whole baking fiasco, you two just decided to order out, not wanting to even exert more energy into cooking dinner for yourself and logan.

FRANCO :

after his morning walk, franco entered your shared apartment with him, a smile on his face. he's had an epiphany. after collecting his breath, he began to speak.

"mi amor, we should bake something," franco happily, giving a quick peck, ignoring that he's sweaty. "bake something, early this morning?" you ask the argentinian groggily.

"yes! it would be great for us to do!" franco exclaimed, his hands finding yours. his eyes, wide and eager like a bunny's, melted any lingering resistance you had.

you sighed, "alright, alright, after you shower we can bake." you say, and smiled once more giving you a kiss on your forehead before walking away to the bathroom.

..

you two were in the kitchen figuring out basic steps to making simple chocolate chip cookies, couldn't be that hard? well, you spoke too soon.

you already fixed up the dry and wet ingredients, you mixed them, now you just need to add vanilla flavouring. you asked franco to give you the vanilla and he did, the argentinian was lost in setting up the oven. as you added drops of it and passed it back to franco you realized you needed a lot more.

the second time he passed you the vanilla flavoring you added it without looking at the bottle, you excused yourself to the bathroom and told franco you went to the restroom and to finish up whilst you were gone. when you came back, the batter was red. you blinked once, confused on why your cookie batter was red.

"love, why is the cookie batter red?" you asked, not confused but amused. franco looked up and realized the cookies were red, sheepishly, he shifted, "because red means love?" he tells you. unaware that he mixed up using red dye in replacement of vanilla flavoring.

..

at the end of the day, the cookies were delicious and red.

CHARLES :

as you two were lounging around lazily with nothing to do, you proposed making cookies. charles agreed, and weirdly enough it was eleven in the afternoon.

so you stood up, walking to the kitchen. charles joined right behind you. you grab the ingredients, whilst charles' pulls out the bowls and utensils.

everything was going so well before mixing the dry ingredients. as he mixed them, he did not realize that he put it on a high setting, so unfortunately the mix literally got everywhere.

you snickered until you felt a gust of flour being thrown on you. you splutter out flour from your mouth. the monegasque man snickered to himself. and if you knew anything...it was that he wasn't going to get the last laugh.

immediately aware, you grabbed a handful of flour and threw it into charles' face. the man's face dropped, honestly, he looked hilarious, flour covered his face. you laughed at him and pointed at his face.

..

in the end, it didn't end well for both of you, you're pretty sure you've got flour up your nose. charles almost choked on the powder. it was alot, especially to clean up.

[lorenzozurzolocanruinmylife]

Mattheo’s girl -Theo Nott x reader/ Mattheo Riddle x reader

(Based on Rick Springfield’s song Jessie’s girl)

T.W.= smut, mdni, kind of stalkerish behavior, alcohol, cigarettes, hopefully that’s it

Mattheo is a friend

Yeah, I know, he's been a good friend of mine

But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define

Mattheo's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine

Theo stayed restless all night, turning right and round in his bed, he went outside to smoke at least 10 times. Something that has been happening for quite sometime, Theo could precisely pinpoint the day he started dealing with this type of struggle, one which he couldn’t seem to get rid of, no matter how hard he tried.

Actually, he could locate the exact place and moment in which things had changed, and his world had turned upside down.

10th of October, 2 months previously

The great hall was filled with noises, glasses clinking, first years snickering, professors chatting.Theo, Enzo, Pansy, Blaise, Draco and Astoria were already at the back of the Slytherin table, discussing their usual topics always adding some new aspects to it.

The only missing piece in their habitual frame was Mattheo Riddle.

The thing about that devilish boy was that nobody ever truly knew where he was or what was he doing.

Lately though, Theo, his very best friend, had notice a shift in his behavior. He found his mate even more mysterious than usual, if that was even possible. He was sly and vague anytime someone asked him anything.

Another thing that Theo seemed to have perceived was the way he came back late in the middle of the night, or how often he just didn’t come back.

Now, everybody knew Mattheo’s nature and the tendencies he had, rumor has it he has an outstanding count, body count obviously. He never denied said rumor, actually, he bashed in the pride that came along with it.

So it should have been normal really, but he never talked about his latest hookups, topic that he was extremely open about, in the quidditch’s changing room, as a fun story time at parties, hell even in class snickering right under Snape’s nose.

He collected those anecdotes mostly to narrate them in a crowd…and now…he just disappeared and came back, not speaking a single word, not indulging in any verdict his friends tried to state.

The only thing that talked were his eyes, and an unnoticeable glistening sparkle of something that Theo had never seen in those, usually starless, eyes.

In the middle of dinner, every single noise, was silenced by a far more powerful one.

The two huge door leaves opened, behind them Mattheo, who was so tall that he shielded you from everyone’s sight.

Until you took his hand in yours and started walking beside him, nearly skipping, looking completely devoted to each other, so much that you both didn’t remotely seem to notice everyone’s stare. He finally arrived at his normal spot, bringing you along.The noises came back to life but not to everybody, no, because Theo hadn’t heard even a single sound from the moment he laid his eyes on you. Let alone he couldn’t see anybody else, or understand anything.

“Guys, I want you all to meet the apple of my eye, my sweet lovely awesome girl. This is y/n, who I’m sure you’re gonna love just as much as I do” Mattheo couldn’t understand how much this last statement would become true. While he showed you off, his eyes filled with thousands of those damn sparkles, Theo started to feel the need to hold you.

And she's watching him with those eyes

But how could he do that if you were so absorbed in Mattheo, focusing on him, and only him.

Theo never knew envy, and he never even remotely thought how gut wrenching it could feel, until that moment; that horrifying split second, that for some reason couldn’t seem to pass.

“Nice to meet you! I’m y/n, you must be Theo? I’ve heard a lot about you” you outstretched your hand towards a very unresponsive Theo.

You knew who he was. That was enough gasoline to light up an immense fire in his chest, so vast that it reached his throat, making him cough, and finally his face…painting him red.

He couldn’t tell if it was more passion or embarrassment he was enduring, but he knew he was crumbling under your beautiful gaze, nonetheless he couldn’t stop this absolutely awkward scene, because of how little and weak he felt.

He took your hand.

He looked up at you.

“I’m sorry- it- it’s just I never thought I could ever meet Mattheo’s girl…never even thought he could have just one” he whispered the last part, you seemed to have heard it though and you laughed, surprisingly.

In that instant- you drying your tears caused by the loud heartfelt laugh, him gaping at your smile, feeling an incredible uncontrollable high because he made you laugh- he knew ha was at your mercy.

Pathetic and lost in you.

Time passed and you started becoming a constant presence in the group, this was driving Theo mad, because he needed to be near you just as much as he wished to be as far away from you as possible.

He was starting to doubt his morals, because anytime he saw you, the feeling he was harboring in his chest- involuntarily- was becoming more and more voluntary. Not only this, but he cared less and less about his best friend, and the fact that you were his.

In fact Theo was convinced that if he had the chance to take you away from Mattheo he would, he desperately wanted to make you his. No matter how traitorous he’d have to be. The only thing that stopped him was you.

And she's loving him with that body, I just know it

Yeah, and he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You were in love with Mattheo.

Just as much as he loved you.

Just as much as Theo loved you.

You loved him in the daylight, when anyone could see it, walking with him hand in hand, always sitting next to each other -Theo thought that at least it was better than to see you sitting ON him-

always exchanging notes, winks, flying kisses and so much more.

But he knew you loved him in the moonlight, where no one could see.

You loved him with your body.

He just knew it…

31st of October

The Slytherins were organizing a Halloween party, that was one of the most awaited every year.

You were in Mattheo’s dorm, laid down on him, facing him lazily while sharing some light kisses. You decided to go at the party in a couple’s costume, as if you hadn’t launched your relationship enough -thought Theo, who would have done anything to go with you, even if it meant dressing up in the most ridiculous way ever.

As soon as Theo entered the room, followed suit by Enzo, he felt as if the scene unfolding before him was stolen directly from his nightmares.

He craved your touch, your faint kisses, your arms around his neck and your sweet words, just as much as he needed to throw up right there and then.

Enzo peeked over Theo’s shoulder as he was standing still paralyzed by the envy tugging at his heart, and mostly clouding his mind. He gave his friend a little push, “move your perv ass Theo, I need to pee” and just then he realized Mattheo was glaring at him because of his blatant stare, so he coughed and immediately threw himself on his bed.

Mattheo turned his glare towards him again, protectively holding you twice as close as before. It was no secret that he was jealous of anyone who simply looked in your way, how could he not? You were attractive in a way that was far more than just physical, your whole self had a pull on every single person you met, you were irresistible. That’s probably why his friends, who were the most selective and elitist group of people in the whole school not only accepted you as one of their own, but also requested your presence the very few times you weren’t around.

Theo heard some of the suggestions you two were debating for the costumes, imagining him and you in each of them.

He started to feel hot as the options were becoming doubly spicier than the other.

He had to get out of there.

The party had already started when you guys showed up, you were gorgeous, dressed in a long white dress that had a pretty deep neckline, and where your heart was supposed to be there was a knife with fake blood all over. You had a white veil too, while Mattheo was wearing a tux with red handprints on the shirt.

It was sickening really, you were a bride, and he was your goddamn husband. Theo who was already holding a drink downed it as fast as he could. Trying to get that horrible image out of his mind.

As you reached the group everyone was complimenting you both, “you’re the it couple” “you guys look so good as husband and wife!!!” Pansy and Astoria yelled. They stole you away from your fake husband to dance and take far too many shots. Which still weren’t half the ones that Theo drank, in fact he could hardly stand on his two feet.

He returned to the group, and he thanked whoever was helping him from above that you weren’t there, because in the state in which he was he would have definitely poured his feelings out, and possibly even a mix of the cocktails he downed.

“Man I’ve never seen you so whipped for any girl- actually I may have never seen you even interested in any girl. Y/n has some super power” Blaise said teasingly to Mattheo, who was looking out for you from a distance just to know you were safe, and also because he was entirely too stunned by your beauty. “What can I say? I knew from the very first second I’ve looked at her that she was the one, she doesn’t remind me of any other girl that I’ve met, I don’t think I could find another one like that” “And also, look at her” Enzo chimes in raising his eyebrows, earning a push and a chuckle from Mattheo.

Theo was sat on the sofa, his head in his hands, thinking that it was better if he just kept silent and even better if he didn’t spare you one glance.

As the party went on he watched as you and Mattheo were tangled in a hot embrace while dancing, touching each other and basically humping to the rhythm of the music. He suddenly grabbed a girl that was dancing in front of him, with his eyes wide shut he started to imagine it was you dancing, it was you pressed tightly against him, it was you kissing him and it was you he was leading to his dorm.

He was about to stumble in with the mystery girl, the actress, until he heard some loud noises.

He broke away from her, telling her to stay quiet, while he slowly leaned towards the door hearing the most heavenly gasps and moans he ever heard. He turned back to the girl and while she tried to imply to go back to her dorm, he ignored her turning back once more.

Obviously she wasn’t expecting this, and left as disappointed as Theo had never left another girl before. But he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to hear more, to fuel his fantasy, giving it something concrete, starting somewhere real to land in his most incredibly feral imaginations. He leaned a bit more on the door and it opened slightly, he was relieved that it didn’t make any noise, and most importantly he was ecstatic that he got to sneak the sight he had been dreaming about since the day he first saw you.

He didn’t care that this was clearly a violation of your privacy, he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

The image of you on top of his best friend, bouncing on him, small drops of sweet sweet sweat running down the valley of your perfect round tits that went up and down with your every move. He was enchanted by it all, this was something that he had dreamt and imagined countless times, but nothing compared to the real deal.

He gave up trying to not touch himself, and he started to unbutton his pants hurriedly reaching his hardened dick and as you came closer and closer to your climax so did he. He didn’t feel shame, he felt closer to her, as if his hands were the ones grabbing her, his body the one loving her, his cock the one pleasing her.

When he came undone, he stepped away from the doorway, muttering “I wish that I had Mattheo’s girl”, passing a resigned hand over his face.

The next morning he felt outrageously ill, inflamed with an unadulterated jealousy seeing your naked form, covered with the white sheets of his best friend’s bed, but mostly covered by his best friend’s embrace. He just couldn’t wrap his head around how unfair was the fact that the bastard could wake up to your beautiful goddess like body in his arms, his face next to your angelic one. He should have been the one, he should have been the one having you.

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo's girl

I wish that I had Mattheo's girl

Where can I find a woman like that?

Theo in an attempt to be rational had decided to give other girls a try, certainly he would find what he saw in you in someone else, right?

Wrong!

He couldn’t keep count of how many boring chats, meaningless one night stands, and dates he had endured trying to find someone like you.

He definitely remembered when that realization hit, that simply no one could compare.

Double date, Hogsmeade, Theo, girl n.17, Mattheo, you. Splendidly suggested by his very best mate in question.

12th of November

Just like any other Saturday a trip to Hogsmeade was planned, and the group of boys were all getting ready in their shared dorm.

“Guys which should I wear for my date with y/n? Green or grey?” Mattheo asked turning toward the others holding up two sweaters. “Dude whatever, it’s not like it’s your first date” Draco answered him annoyed with his friend that couldn’t for the life of him spend some time alone with his friends anymore, Theo couldn’t blame him though. He knew that if he ever had someone like you, he too would exploit every single second to be around you, not wasting anytime with anyone else. Exactly the opposite of what his plans were for this not-so-exciting evening. “I heard someone else here is going on a first date? Or should I say hundredth, huh lover boy?” Enzo raised his eyebrows mimicking a kiss aimed at Theo, who threw him a pillow to shut him up. “Yeah mate what’s up with this slut era of yours? You’re trying to catch an std or sum?” Blaise asked him giving him a nasty side eye “I just give the ladies some sugar, you know, there’s enough for everyone” Theo smirked, trying to conceal his cringed reaction to what he had just said. And mostly trying to hide the unbearable truth, that you were no some girl. You were Y/n, unique, funny, charming, genuine, his sweet forbidden fruit.

He tuned the guys out, not caring in the least of what they had to say about his unconventional DonGiovanni’s lifestyle, to think about you just like he always did. What brought him back to reality was the same thing that took him away in the first place. Y/n. As soon as he heard your name his head shot up, his stare that was lost on the wall in front of him focused once more on his friends.

“Huh?” “Why don’t you and your girl hang with us? Like a double date?” Mattheo suggested finally having settled on the grey sweater, “Why?” Theo let that out with a baffled expression, doubting this could ever be a good idea. He himself knew that he wouldn’t have resisted being in the same room with Mattheo always touching and kissing you. And he definitely knew that the poor girl he brought along would be discarded the very instant that his eyes found you, because wherever you were so was his undivided attention.

But then he thought again, still convinced that he could find a replacement for you, someone else that could steal his heart from you after you had done that to him yourself. He thought that the best way to know if this girl could take your place was for her to show him, with you there, that she was a fair opponent. As Mattheo rambled about giving him an example of what true love should look like and yada yada, Theo just shrugged and agreed.

In hindsight he couldn’t have been more wrong, or maybe he was right, when he had first thought that the girl would have been discarded, and that he wouldn’t have notice any other person as long as you were there.

But there he was, sat at a very small table at madam Puddifoot’s tea shop, regretting his every choice, with a very plain and awkward ravenclaw girl by his side, and in front of him the awfully cutesy couple seemingly having a staring contest.

The poor girl, Vic or something, was trying to make small talk and each time Theo just mumbled something in return. You on the other hand were always so nice and entertaining, not wanting her to feel left out you talked about every possible topic.

I'll play along with the charade

There doesn't seem to be a reason to change

You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute

I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot.

But even though he knew it didn’t make sense, none of it made sense, him being there, him being there with that girl, he decided to just keep up with whatever this seemed to be. So for the rest of the evening he tried to be as charming as one should be on a first date, subtly trying to make you laugh more than he made her, and more than Mattheo made you. Being slightly arrogant about his advanced potions’ skills, his good grades, his quidditch wins and this sort of things.

And despite his real attempt to woo the girl just for the façade’s sake, as if for some cruel divine joke he seemed to have way more chemistry with you. Indeed you laughed at his stupid jokes, you didn’t stand back on an exchange of witty and cunning banter, and at one point you even completed one of his sentences. He felt like he was going to die if he had to keep faking this misplaced interest for just one second longer, until he looked at you, really looked at you. Nearly fused with Mattheo, holding one of his hands while his other was under your sweater. Exchanging sweet nothings at the same time you were talking to him. And Theo, who wasn’t a stranger to this scene, still felt like he was about to crash out, blinded by the infamous green eyed monster, and just like on the night of Halloween he felt dirty. This was one of those epiphanic moments in which he regained lucidity, disgusted with his behavior.

He did truly feel like shit. How could he not? His best friend’s girl? It was seriously the least loyal thing that he could think of, it was the first rule of bro code. Goddamn, it was a commandment.

But he loved you. His heart ached for you, every smile you directed to him, every word, every nod, every acknowledgment from you got him completely drunk.

And in these very rare lucid moments he felt ashamed, a sinner. Besides, most of the time it all felt right, it was right to be selfish, it made sense, just like it would have if he finally told you. Because there was nothing that he wanted more than to break free from the heavy chains of this secret and confess.

In those few, clear moments, he sobered up, and kept realizing that it would have been irrational and mostly vain. Because you loved Mattheo. And he couldn’t do anything to stop that.

Cause she's watching him with those eyes

And she's loving him with that body, I just know it

And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo’s girl.

The date ended, and so did Theo’s hopes on encountering someone like you. And with them died also the dreams of a reciprocation of his feelings. Just like they did every damn time he saw your shiny eyes looking at his best mate. There was no point. He could just surrender to his impossible love and move on eventually, while having to stand there and watch every kiss, every lingering touch, every form of pda the world knew.

He found peace only at night, when he dreamt of you and him together, doing all the things he had seen you do with him.

And I'm looking in the mirror all the time

Wonderin' what she don't see in me

I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines

Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?

Tell me, where can I find a woman like that?

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo's girl

What Theo really just didn’t understand was what could he possibly have less than him, people had always told them how similar they were, did Mattheo become all of a sudden the better version? No, impossible. Theo searched for the answers in the mirror, trying to think of what he didn’t have that Matt did. Sure, he was more muscular, but that had never meant that he wasn’t just as strong.

Was his personality the problem? It couldn’t! No, because whenever you spoke to each other you seemed so at ease, you seemed like you were aware of the flick of fire that lit between the two of you.

24th of November

Theo had just come back from the library to his dorm, thinking he’d be alone, he dived on his messy unmade bed hoping to rest his poor head filled with tangled thoughts that were all screaming your name.

“Rough day?” he gasped, nearly falling out of the bed “Oh dear Merlin, you scared me” he said holding his chest with one hand, and his forehead with the other one. “Scared of a little company, aren’t you Theo?” “You don’t know just how much” he answered you completely honest, though you didn’t know he wasn’t joking.

“So w- what are you doing here? Waiting for Mattheo?” he asked, truly regretting the last part, and having to say it out loud. “Not really, but since he gave me the password to the common room, I figured why not?” “So you do spend time apart? I wasn’t aware” he faked a surprised expression and made you laugh “Well, you know sometimes it all just feels like a lot, I mean…” you tried to make sense without sounding mean “are you trying to say that he’s too much?”. “No, no please Theo, come on I didn’t mean it like that” Theo was snickering, feeling somewhat relieved that it was too much even for you. “You know what I mean, like I love him, truly” you said and Theo’s smile faltered for a beat, then came back normal as if his heart hadn’t just been wounded by what you said to him. “But we just might spend too much time together, and like I said, I love him but I love my own personal space too”. “Well i don’t blame him” he said “it’s easy to get lost in time when you’re with someone like you” he let out this risky statement testing you, trying to see your reaction. Your cheeks welcomed a burning pink tint on them, and you looked down at your feet lightly smiling “Someone like me?” you looked back up at him with a challenging glance “yeah, someone effortlessly fun” “and what else?” “I’m sorry I can’t come up with another lie” he said smirking at you. You suddenly got up to your feet, went up to him and pushed him. “Fuck off Theo” you told him laughing “Someone who can take a joke definitely” he said trying to keep his cool after feeling your touch, “Ah, ah, ah. And here I was thinking you liked me!” you feigned an insulted face “I don’t like you…” he said seriously now. You stood there still, in front of him, the heat returned to hit you in your face.

That was it. He knew and he firmly believed you knew it too. He was gonna say it, he extended his arm and gently took your hand “No, I-“ “Y/n babe are you in here?”. You took back your hand, and went to your boyfriend as fast as you could.

-Of course- Theo thought to himself, who else could interrupt his one chance to finally tell you, if not your stupid boyfriend. “Oh dude hi, kept her company I hope?” “Yeah well I was just about to leave, bye Matt” and then he looked at you, who were now in his friend’s arms, like every damn time. Your eyes met his “bye y/n”.

His cards were now on the table, and maybe for this reason or for his undeniable guilt, that was the last thing he had told you. The feelings were still there, but so were yours, even if he genuinely had believed that he saw something in your eyes in that moment.

The truth was that there was something, there were those sparkles, the same Mattheo had when watching you. You just couldn’t admit it out loud, and now Theo had started to completely ignore you, so there was no point in trying to understand what was that you felt, no because you were always Mattheo’s girl.

[syncogon]

[LCLA TL] Farewell to He Xu, from the one who was once him

He Xu's actor, Liu Chang, wrote a post to celebrate the finale of the Link Click Live Action.

Translation below. Full show spoilers!

Hui feng he chang, nuan yang he xu. Warm sun and pleasant breeze. 

From an objective point of view, no matter how you look at it, He Xu is not a good person: he deceived his friends and teacher, broke the rules of this world… He is despicable, and deserves to be fast-forwarded. But I was once him, so it’s difficult to be objective. 

At a time when sunlight should have shone upon his world, it was instead dark clouds that blocked the sky. Without the love of a father or mother, he grew up in an orphanage, but it was alright, his elder sister carried fire to bring him the warmth that he deserved, perhaps even beyond what ordinary family could provide. So he did not become ashen, and still loved this world that had his sister in it. But it was as though this world did not want him, and so let his sister depart. 

If you were He Xu, would you let go of the chance to save your sister? To be honest, I’m extremely reluctant to discuss the trolley problem. Morality and ego will always be in conflict. But when the only person who loves you is about to perish, how could you so easily bear to lose them. 

You couldn’t, and nor could He Xu. 

He only wanted his sister not to lose her life in the accident. If possible, he certainly wouldn’t want to harm anyone else. But when the two options were placed in front of him, he selfishly chose to not leave any regrets. Perhaps this selfishness is something we can all understand. 

But no matter what, we must return to the objective point of view.

He Xu was too extreme. Not only did his obsession lead him into the abyss, it also led his sister to immense pain. Let alone those innocent bystanders who were dragged in.

I can’t bear to criticize him, his regrets are too sorrowful. But he was wrong to let himself become hateful. 

If there could be another timeline, I hope that he and his sister could find happiness, and happily finish that Christmas dinner. In that timeline, every day is one of warm sun and pleasant breeze.

Finally, as an actor, to be able to meet this kind of deep character is my fortune. Added to the fact that this is an IP that I like, a team that I like, this doesn’t come easy. So I performed to the very best of my ability. I hope that everyone enjoys the show, I hope that everyone doesn’t hate He Xu too much. The power of Link Click allows viewers to ask themselves: If you could return to the past, where in time would you want to go? And I ask myself this question, but the answer is unknown, or maybe I don’t want to return to the past at all. What, if I redid these experiences that I’ve already had, I would like them more? So, why not instead archive our experiences upon the timeline, and bring them along as we continue to slowly go forward. 

Past or future, let them be. 

I hope that everyone’s days are both peaceful and richly colorful.

Aside: I’ve been to Time Photo Studio, yay!

Also, I didn’t lie to you guys, really crying to death 🧎

[alexdswfan]

Aah thanks so much @cosmicjoke!! I love your metas so it really means a lot to me that you liked mine too! Yeah, I mean, I say it in the most respectful way that I genuinely don’t understand where that idea of Hange being manipulative with Levi comes from. I understand that Hange’s glasses in that scene may show a shady attitude coming from Hange, but I don’t think we should only be looking at the meaning of tropes without adding context to it, and with the context added of Levi feeling suspicious towards Hange for good reasons, it makes sense why Hange’s glasses would be shown that way, but not that Hange had particularly ill intentions with Levi and his friends. Yeah, I also agree that Furlan and Isabel were like a family to him at that point, so it adds even more to the idea Hange didn’t just try to be manipulative to find Levi’s “secret” (secret he has no knowledge of either at that moment), but actually sought a genuine friendship with all of them.

But again, as I stated before, we can agree to disagree, and the people who think Hange was manipulative in this scene can believe that. I want to believe that didn’t happen, and it may have to do with my own bias, which I’m aware exists, but I personally don’t think Hange had ill intentions with Levi and his friends there. And I’m glad that you and other people who reached out to me about this agree with me on this aspect too.

Hange and Levi's first meeting in No Regrets and what it means to Levi

I'd like to talk about a scene in No Regrets that gets brought up sometimes by certain people in the fandom, which is Levi and Hange's first meeting, but I don't think fandom talks enough about the emotional impact this scene must've had on Levi, or why that first meeting is so important to him. This scene always manages to make me feel emotional no matter how many times I think about it, hence why it's my favourite part of the manga, because for the first time since Levi, Furlan and Isabel got in the Survey Corps, someone treated them with kindness and didn't look down on them.

The first thing we can notice from the way Hange approached them is how genuine and excited Hange is with what they achieved with the Titan, making sure to include them all in the achievement and not only Levi as seen here by how Isabel tells Hange that their group is amazing and Hange agreeing with her.

Hange is interested in getting to know more about Levi's strength, but it's in a way where they want to learn from him and get taught by him rather than in an idea of using his strength as a tool. By bringing the other Scouts in the conversation as seen below, Hange encourages Levi to teach them his tricks so they can all have better chances of survival and also kill Titans more efficiently from now on.

Hange wants to get to know Levi as a person first and foremost, which does impact Levi who hasn't really met anyone in the Survey Corps until that point to be interested in himself as a person and not just as a tool, and in his friends too as he's inseparable from them. Hange doesn't forget about them and even includes them in the conversation in their own easygoing way as seen in this panel.

Continuing on this idea, one of the most important parts of this scene is how Hange isn't only friendly with Levi, but they're friendly with Isabel and Furlan too, going so far as to give Isabel a treat for the start of their new friendship. It might not mean much, but for people who recently left the Underground where getting treats was probably a luxury or at best hard to come by, Hange's action will impact them far more than some people might realize. These three have constantly been called thugs or have been disrespected until they showed their technical prowess with Titans during their first expedition, so to see Hange push past that barrier by wanting a genuine friendship with them is such a contrast to the way they have been treated by the others all this time. And even when Levi is curt with Hange, they don't give up, inviting them all to a meal after the expedition is over, which shows how much Hange wants to get to know them better as people, and not only as soldiers skilled with ODM gear.

I think what impacted Levi the most out of that exchange wasn't necessarily that Hange was kind with him. It's definitely important, but when we know how much Levi cares about the ones he loves, how he values their lives much more than his own, it's that Hange was so kind with his friends that really impacted him the most, and I don't think fandom talks enough about it. How affected Levi must've been by Hange's sheer kindness without expecting anything in return from him in a world where that concept simply didn't exist. Levi was being kind with others, but this is the first time we see someone else that isn't part of his group be kind to him in return. I think what Hange did that day for him and his friends meant a lot more to Levi than we realize. Someone in the Survey Corps finally treated them as they should've always been treated, with respect and kindness and not with disdain or even coercion. And Hange isn't bothered by his refusal to communicate with them as seen by Furlan's reply here: "Anyway, Hange doesn't seem particularly bothered."

They respect his boundaries when Levi doesn't feel like answering since he doesn't want to get attached to new people (we know how that plan failed in retrospect, but he still tried), and that's because Hange doesn't try to force anything out of him. They tried and he didn't want to engage, that was fine with them, they'll still want to be his friend in the future regardless of Levi's answer. And I don't think fandom gives enough credit to Hange in this scene.

This scene will forever remain my favourite in No Regrets because it shows just how incredibly kind and friendly Hange was with Levi since the very beginning. Yes, this has to do with Hange's personality, that it's just like them to be attracted by the new outsiders or misfits and try to befriend them, but the important part is that someone at least tried. And it makes total sense how out of everyone we know, it had to be Hange to carry out that role. Someone caring as much about his friends as Levi simply cannot be hated by him. This scene actually destroys that claim even more, because by this definition, Levi would have to hate the first person in the Survey Corps to actually be friendly with his friends, the most important people in his life at that moment in time. It's again completely nonsensical to say that, and I do think the people who keep saying it either have forgotten this scene exists or they'd rather ignore it because it wasn't included in the OVA. But regardless of the reason, the fact remains this scene is part of the No Regrets manga and is important to delve even further into the relationship of Levi and Hange as it presents the blueprint of their relationship. Supportive and caring for each other until the very end.

Edit: I want to add that Levi definitely felt suspicious towards Hange's kindness at first since genuine kindness doesn't exist in his world. Coming from the Underground, he has all the reasons to be suspicious of Hange (as people have pointed it out in the reblogs). That being said, Hange's intention was to be friendly with him without wanting anything in return from that friendship, and I do think Levi was more appreciative of the whole exchange later in time when he got to learn Hange better. I struggle to say that someone who later in the story becomes one of his closest friends tried to be manipulative with him at the beginning of their relationship like the man with glasses from Bad Boy. Levi would never try to befriend such a person in my opinion. But we all know how their relationship grew instead, where their communication skills are beyond anything we've seen in the manga, so in the end, Hange's intention of becoming his friend proved to be genuine despite Levi's first suspicions. Therefore, I respectfully disagree with the interpretation brought forward in the comments that Hange might've been manipulative with Levi and his friends. Hange has no reason to manipulate them. Let's all remember Hange has no clue whatsoever about the subject Levi, Furlan and Isabel discuss beforehand. They're only interested in the group's prowess and efficiency at fighting Titans, and then later in them as people since they're open to a more meaningful friendship with them three. Someone manipulative wouldn't have cared about being friends with them afterwards.

[pawthorn]

Sorry, but if you heard Ashton tell Fearne they’ve always wanted a sister and your first response is not believe that they feel that way or to assume he’s joking or messing with her, you may have some things to re-evaluate.

[fumifooms]

I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after

The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually

Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-

He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.

And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.

When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings

"Man they really know what you hate huh." Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.

It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)

"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species