#you should accept that!!!! you should love him from that!!!!
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This is an interesting point about art.
People in 2024 will say that for e.g. far right art can't be good, but the thing is, people who believe terrible things have made great art since always. Ayn Rand genuinely moves people. I don't get it, I find her prose dull, but she does. Hitler wrote a bestseller. Thomas of Aquinas blamed women for many of his problems and is still more revered than not. And of course every year another Joss Whedon turns out to have been terrible all along and we all have to discover that we didn't REALLY love everything he did for twenty years. I'm not even going to address the elephant in that room, but you all know its looming sorting-hat-shaped shadow.
The reason most extremist art is terrible now is, I think, that extremists are no longer willing to traffic in implication. For example, I'm a Christian (I love you gay Methodists), and I like the Conjuring movies even though the Warrens were terrible.
These movies are explicitly pro-Christian. They believe in an afterlife, heaven, hell, demons exorcism. On the culturally conservative end, they're about a loving cis heterosexual married couple with a beloved daughter, and they never mention or acknowledge that LGBT people exist that I can recall.
Right-wing Christians will not watch or accept these films, because they are horror films, or because they don't adhere strictly to the doctrine of a given denomination. For a movie to be publicly acceptable as a Christian film by contemporary American Christianity, it has to either be a Bible story or be God's Not Dead, a movie where (spoilers!) an atheist left-wing college professor gets hit by a car and Christians coerce him into converting in order to ensure that he goes to Heaven.
This creates a bizarre environment where left-wing films are unacceptable because they have left-wing implications, but films with right-wing implications are unacceptable because they are not right-wing enough.
As a horror fan, this is not only bizarre but hilarious. Many horror fans will watch something based on a vibe regardless of its philosophical implications, because you don't have to agree with a film in order for it to scare you. I think this is why The Conjuring franchise is so popular even though I suspect horror fans lean further left than a lot of other filmgoers.
So the ultimate result of this is that fundamentally conservative art is more likely to be observed and discussed by people further to the left than the artist, just like this social media post. This is important, because ideas should be seen and discussed so that we can openly decide which ones are hot garbage, just like the original anonymous message. And I think it's also important because if we only acknowledge and boost what we disagree with that actually has artistic merit, the overall marketplace of ideas still benefits by examining different perspectives without admitting the ones that amount to inarticulate screaming at a minority group.
This is especially important to me because it's how I was de-radicalized as a young person from my very right-wing conservative upbringing - by interacting with critical examination of ideas in art as well as by meeting real people that did not reflect the demonized image of minorities that I grew up around. I think both of those things are important to those that process. And that can't happen unless someone drags forward anonymous pieces of artful hate into the light of day so that we may submit them to the dissecting pins and scalpel of real criticism.
Normally, I just block people and leave their nonsense unposted... but this is art.
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Symbol of Love— Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader
summary— based off sofia and rafe’s cute moment in s4 ep 9 so slight spoilers. rafe is on mission to catch groff and he gives you something to treasure before he leaves.
warnings— spoilers, fluff, mentions of death.
a/n— saw the scene and immediately decided to write this, my heart is melting omg ugh that should be me and him. these new batch of episodes have been such a roller coaster, can’t wait to finish and see how everything plays out <3
Rafe’s hands were tense as walked around the sand, jaw tight as he tried to process what he’d just learned. Chandler Groff had stolen his money, and he boated off the island. You leaned against the tree, eyes wide as you tried to absorb the news. Hollis’ death had hit you harder than you let on, and whispers were circulating that JJ Maybank might have been involved. Nothing felt certain anymore, but what you did know was that Rafe had always been the one constant—until now.
“Okay, but listen,” Rafe said, his voice sharp and urgent. “Unless I catch up with Groff now, that money is long gone.”
“Where is he, Rafe?” you asked, your heart pounding. You didn’t want him to go, especially not alone, but you knew you couldn’t stop him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he muttered, his gaze fixed somewhere past you. “I’ll track him down. I’ll get it all back.” There was a steely resolve in his voice, a familiar determination that reminded you of just how far he would go to keep what was his.
But before he could take off, he turned to you, his eyes softening just and took a deep breath. “I want to say something first.”
You opened your mouth, the confession about Hollis and everything that happened burning on your tongue. “Rafe, I- I need to tell you something too.”
Before you could finish, he startled you by dropping to one knee, pulling out a beautiful ring from his pocket. Your heart skipped a beat, and suddenly you felt like the world was spinning.
He held it up to you, his gaze never leaving yours. “It was my mom’s,” he said softly, his voice breaking just slightly. “Been in my family forever. I know it’s some kook bullshit, but I just- I wanted you to have it before I left. So you’d know this, us- we’re real.”
“Rafe, wait,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I- I did something. It’s about Hollis. There’s more I didn’t tell you—”
He cut you off, shaking his head and cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin. “Don’t. There’s things about me you don’t know. And trust me, they’re way worse than anything you could say. I don’t care what you did, and I don’t care to know.” His voice softened, but his eyes stayed intense. “I want you, and that’s all that matters to me.”
You could barely breathe, tears leaving your eyes and he slipped the ring on your finger, his eyes pleading.
You were crying now, overwhelmed by the depth of his acceptance. You could feel his hands tremble as he slid the ring onto your finger. “Say yes,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “There’s no more pogue bullshit, okay? No more of that. I want you to quit that job and move in with me.”
The weight of his words settled over you like a promise, and you nodded, barely able to find your voice. “Yes, Rafe.”
He smiled, relief flooding his face as he pulled you into a kiss, his hands cradling your face as if you were something fragile he had to hold onto. You kissed him back, fingers curling into his jacket, your tears mixing with his warmth.
When you pulled away, he pressed a key into your palm, closing your fingers over it. “It’s to the house. I’ll be back in a few weeks. Stay there for me, okay? At my—no, our place.”
He brushed a kiss across your forehead, and whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” And with one last look, he turned, walking toward his boat as you watched him go.
The salty breeze whipped around you, and you looked down at the ring, feeling a bittersweet ache settle in your chest. It was beautiful and strange, the symbol of a life you were about to share with him, a life you’d always dreamed of. You traced the ring with your thumb, marveling at its age, its history, a part of him that would stay with you even as he left.
Tears blurred your vision as he boarded the boat, but you stood there, rooted, until he was nothing but a speck on the horizon, clutching the key and the promise he’d left behind.
As you watched Rafe disappear over the horizon, a wave of fear washed over you, heavier than the ocean air around you. You knew how dangerous Groff could be, how far he was willing to go to keep what he’d stolen. And now, Rafe was chasing him down. Your heart twisted, the thought of something happening to him tugging at every corner of your mind. But then you shook yourself, forcing the doubt back. Rafe was tough, stronger than anyone you knew. He could handle himself. He’d be okay.
He’d come back.
You took a deep breath, letting the thought settle over you like a warm blanket. He’d come back, and when he did, you’d spend the rest of your lives together. There would be reward, there would be sunshine after the storm. Your love, this wild, all-consuming love, could survive anything. It had to. Everything was going to be okay.
You glanced down at the ring he’d placed on your finger, feeling its weight, its history pressing against your skin like a quiet promise. Your fingers tightened around the key in your other hand, holding onto it as if it could anchor you to this moment, to him. This key was a piece of him, a piece of your future together, the home you’d share, the life you’d build once he returned.
With one last look out at the horizon, you whispered a silent promise of your own. Then you turned back holding the ring and the key close to your heart, holding onto the hope that soon, he’d be back in your arms.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x black reader#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#rafe cameron x black!reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron concepts#rafe cameron one shot#outer banks 4#outer banks season 4#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks fluff#rafe outer banks#outer banks s4#outer banks spoilers#outer banks#outer banks smut#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe
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I feel like too often people frame Nie Mingjue's issues as ignorance borne from safety. Like, they think that because of his privilege as a sect leader he doesn't know what it's like to be in danger and forced to make hard choices to survive. And I disagree. Strongly.
First of all, Nie Mingjue is very familiar with death not only from war but from. You know. Actively dying since the age of fourteen. Let us not forget Nie Mingjue is dead! Super dead! And maybe he didn't die the exact way he expected to but he did, absolutely, know he was going to die. To act like Nie Mingjue is unfamiliar with the scenario of "do something you find morally reprehensible or die" is to ignore that he has been living that exact scenario and chose death.
Nie Mingjue knows death is a risk for someone like Jin guangyao, in fact he explicitly acknowledges it even in his worst moments like the stairs in chapter 49. Had his issue been ignorance, then he would've responded to Jin Guangyao saying that he's in danger and has to sacrifice others for his own safety with "No you aren't you'll be fine." But he doesn't. He accepts the fact that jgy is in danger with no qualms and says: then you should die.
That's not him betraying his values, those are his values. He is, essentially, pro-suicide. Jgy is like hey I have a moral dilemma what should I do and nmj straight up goes "Kill yourself" and earlier that same chapter when he was faced with a moral dilemma he went "I'm gonna kill myself." He believes the solution to moral dilemmas is suicide! He is extremely consistent about this! When it's pointed out to him that it would have been dangerous for Wen Qing to oppose Wen Ruohan it doesn't phase him because he thinks putting yourself at risk to do the right thing is the only moral choice. The idea that he can only hold this belief because he is himself somehow not in danger, again, requires you to ignore that he is dying the whole time. And it doesn't deter him. He is the idea of self-sacrifice as a moral good taken to its absolute logical extreme. Someone who is ready to die and demands the same from everyone else.
It makes him a very fun case study for fandom, because a lot of fandom spaces also tend to revere self-sacrifice as the ultimate good, and yet we get very uncomfortable when someone starts demanding it of characters we love. Like woah, hold on, that's a bit too far isn't it? Only we the audience get to do that!
#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#i got a bit spicy at the end there#one wonders of there is perhaps a theme around sacrifice the story is working with here#what with several of the most relevant and major character relationships centering around sacrifice.#anyway I wonder what nmj thought of Wen Qing (and Wen Ning though the jin kept him alive) sacrificing herself at nightless#I have to imagine he approved. despite disagreeing with her he also approved of mianmian giving up her clan position for wwx+ the wens#so he'd think this was her 'finally doing the right thing'#his approval would've been kinda worthless. As a person who is NOT pro-suicide I think that's fucked up! the sacrifice didn't even work!#but it's diabolical to think of the Wen siblings turning themselves in and nmj being there and *praising* them for it.#unhinged behavior. I need this missing scene stat.#this is just kind of a rephrasing of my 'stop calling nmj a hypocrite' post but with a bit more focus on what exactly his values are#and how his problems stem not from him being inconsistent with those values but the fact that they are pretty fucked up!#and that those fucked up values are not a result of a lack danger but the opposite. the *inevitability* of death#he's going to die so he *has* to believe that's the right thing to do.
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And here it is, the epilogue! We skip back a little bit in this one, for some yummy deleted scenes. Thank you @phantomfen and @haleswallows for your lovely support, this couldn't have happened without ya'll! And thank you @ashrayus for the art that inspired it all. I hope I did you proud!
===
Cass observes BruceBatdad from her vantage point two rooftops away.
She hears StephSpoiler join her soon after, TimRobin following just seconds later.
BruceBatdad is not alone.
A woman and a boy stand before him, and Cass would be a fool to not remember that face, to not know who they are.
Even from so far away, it is hard to forget the woman who gave her candy once, all those years ago.
It is hard to forget her words then too.
I have a son, Talia Al-Ghul had said then, but I'm afraid he does not like sweets, will you throw them away for me?
Cass hears TimRobin and StephSpoiler bicker quietly behind her, lets BabsOracle's soothing voice demanding explanations wash over her in harmony.
JayHood's low timbre joins the cacophony, DickieWing's excited chatter echoing in the comms as he makes his way over. It is Sunday, that Sunday, brunch Sunday, so he is in Gotham tonight.
Bludhaven must be lonely.
She squints. BabsOracle starts to hiss, TimRobin and StephSpoiler tumbling over each other now.
DamianBabyBrother stands at attention, but his gaze is on them.
She waves. He does not wave back. That is okay.
DickieWing cartwheels onto their roof, gives Cass a pat on the head before wrangling the other two.
Cass observes their new baby brother, but does not get much. He is well trained. It does not matter, there will be time to learn.
"Show of hands," BabsOracle's voice is strict, commanding. They all freeze, trained in a better way, "New family member."
Immediately, all hands go up. TimRobin hesitates. It is okay. There will be time.
Cass smiles, watches DickieWing whoop, leading the race back to the Cave.
Cass waves again, but knows not to wait this time, twirling her way through her siblings.
She intends to win the race back home.
===
Alfred contemplates his newest ward as he wipes his hands.
The little one wants to know if there are any tasks assigned to him, which is new and refreshing.
This is, of course, sarcasm.
Master Jason refused to accept food without some kind of chore to exchange.
Miss Cass still shadows him occasionally, on alert for anything Alfred should need.
Even Master Duke is in the habit of asking Alfred if he can help anywhere.
Alfred had indulged them, of course, once in a while. Help them feel at ease.
The problem now is that Master Damian is not actually asking for tasks.
He is asking for information.
That is what intrigues him.
Master Damian stands quietly at attention, patiently, as Alfred considers the best way to navigate this.
"Well," Alfred lifts an eyebrow, "It isn't entirely necessary, Master Damian."
"I must earn my keep," the young master insists, "Blood son or not, I do not plan to waste away here."
Alfred hums. "Then I suppose it would depend on where your skills lie, Master Damian."
"I was trained in survival," Master Damian replies with nary a pause, "I can cook, and do basic cleaning." He tilts his head, reminding Alfred of a Young Master Bruce. "Admittedly, I am unsure of my skill level with no-one to compare to, as it was not necessary to my training."
Alfred lets that ruminate. He could have the young master help with dishes first, chat as he cooks for the family. It would be nice to have someone in residence to help with cooking again. Master Jason still avoids the Manor quiet often, after all.
"It is at least edible," Master Damian must mistake his silence as refusal, "And I learn quick."
"Yes," Alfred reassures the boy, "I am aware. Let's have you start with dishes, shall we?"
Master Damian's lip quirks to the side, small and so very familiar, and rolls up his sleeves.
Yes, this will do. Alfred smiles back, turning around to work on tonight's dinner.
Now, how much to reveal?
===
Steph watches the newest baby Wayne scrutinize Dick's somersault with the kind of concentration of a life and death threat.
It's impressive and at once entirely so sad that Damian executes a perfect somersault two tries later.
Once to get the feel. Twice to adjust.
Genius? Or training?
Steph doesn't really want to know.
It's the 16th item on the list that Damian has excelled at within the first five tries. Steph wants so badly for this little baby to let loose. He's been here for a couple months and he still thinks his stay is temporary.
As if Bruce would let his babiest bat go back to that asshole Ra's.
Talia might be cool, Steph doesn't know. Damian sure loves her, just from the scant sentences he's said about her. But sometimes love just…isn't enough.
Damian does a perfect one handed handstand, twirling around just like Dick did and stepping delicate down, and eyeing the tightrope Duke and Steph had set up for him to try. There's a unicycle somewhere in the gym, they just have to find it.
"Does this spark joy?" Damian tilts his head, from where he's perfectly balanced on the stupid unicycle and looking way too smug about it.
"It does not." He finally answers, dismounting with boring aplomb.
The next hobby is skateboarding—Tim shows Damian how to do an ollie, once the kid has the hang of standing on the board.
It is a special kind of delight to watch a trained-from-basically-birth assassin eat shit on a skateboard.
A pencil is tossed unerringly at her forehead whilst she loses breath laughing, and you know what?
It's totally worth it, especially when it devolves quickly into an office supply version of a food fight between the five of them.
They try new hobbies, and each time, Steph asks "Does it spark joy?"
And each time Damian considers, before he answers very seriously, "It does not."
Steph's gotta admit, the sincerity is what does it for her.
By the end of it, Steph loses the bet, but it doesnt matter.
Babybat'll fit in fine.
===
Duke comes down to breakfast and immediately realizes something is wrong.
Damian has been in the Manor for a while now, and it's been routine for Duke to see him making breakfast with Alfred every Tuesday and Wednesday.
Today is Friday, and Damian is at the stove, alone.
"Hey, little dude." Duke cautiously greets, "Where's Alfie?"
"Pennyworth went to fetch more eggs." Damian doesn't turn around, but he answers, and that's all Duke can really ask for. "Someone had used it up last night, without permission."
Duke whistles. "Enough of them to warrant an emergency shopping trip?" Alfie usually keeps a burden's amount of eggs in the fridge always stocked up.
"Brown and Grayson," Damian carefully says, smirking over his shoulder and obviously trying not to laugh, "decided they wanted pancakes."
"Oh my god." Duke laughs, already seeing disaster and trying to keep it all in to ask his question, "What—what did they do?"
"Apparently," Damian drags out, "They thought that eggs and flour was enough to make the batter."
Damian comes to the table, placing a perfect plate of sunny side up eggs, bacon, and hash in front of Duke.
"Needless to say, they made almost two kilos of pasta instead." He places the second plate at the head of the table. "They tried to fry some of it anyway, and ruined two pans before they realized that perhaps, maybe, pancake batter should look a little more…liquid."
By the time Damian has his own plate sitting across from Duke, he can't breathe from how hard he's laughing.
Bruce walks in, and they no doubt paint a peculiar picture: Damian, smirking and daintily eating his eggs. And Duke, curled over the table and trying to recover and succeeding at a snail's pace.
"Good morning Father." Damian primly greets.
"Good morning, sweetheart." Bruce's voice is confused, but amiable. He carefully picks his way to his spot and compliments Damian on breakfast, who nods in satisfaction.
"Duke, are you alright son?" Bruce asks, when Duke can finally straighten up take one deep breath.
"He'll be fine, Father." Damian waves his fork, "On an unrelated note, would you perhaps be opposed to pasta for lunch?"
Duke fucking loses it.
===
"Well?" Damian sits himself down delicately, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, expectantly.
They're down in the Cave, sitting across from each other at the round table in the main area, side by side.
Tim rolls his eyes, fine. No pleasantries then. "Are you considering joining the family business?"
Damian tilts his head, puppy-like, not that he'll ever say that to his face. "Which one?"
And that's a fair point. "Either. Any."
Damian purses his lips, in the same exact way Bruce does, thinking. "I am undecided. Why?"
"I was thinking that it was time for me to start making moves to…" Tim wants to be delicate here, considering the history Damian has, "…well, move on."
"Be more clear, Drake." And wow, the way Damian furrows his brow in annoyance is identical to Jason, "Use your words."
Tim huffs. "Robin, Demon Brat." Tim enunciates his words, trying not to smile at the way Damian perks up. "I want to retire."
Damian eyes him mistrustfully, darting from Tim's coffee cup, to his tablet, even to the BatComputer where Tim has a DNA sample running. "…I highly doubt that."
"UGH," Tim groans, "I want to rebrand, so I'm giving you the Robin domino or whatever."
"The Robin mantle must be earned," Damian puffs up like an irate Pomeranian, making Tim laugh for more reasons than one.
"I already retired once." Tim informs him, "Steph was Robin for a hot minute, making her own suit from a Halloween costume."
"She what." Damian's voice is dangerous, but Tim flaps a hand. He can blow steam as much as he wants, he's the baby of the family and despite it all Tim's 87% sure Damian wouldn't hurt a fly.
…Maybe a solid 66%. He'll have to run the numbers.
"She gave it up to be Spoiler real quick," Tim continues, "And then some shit happened, and though he wasn't officially a Robin, Duke was part of the We Are Robin movement."
Damian fumes in silence, which shouldn't be funny, but is.
"In other words, Demon Brat," Tim smirks, "Lots of people have been Robin. And if you don't take it now, well…who's to say someone else won't just…make their own costume?"
Tim waits out Damian's breathing exercises, patient and frankly, uncaring. He fiddles on his tablet, sips at his coffee, considers new vigilante names. With Dick now acting as Nightwing, the transition to Young Justice won't be as confusing even if he did join up as Robin, but Tim would rather not.
Just thinking about the mistaken identity issues with Dick's romantic history is already giving him nightmares. Slim as the chances are, with their builds being so different, but Tim just doesn't want to take that chance.
"Fine." Damian finally says, "I concede. When will training start?"
Tim scoffs. "You're League trained, so you'll just be shadowing for protocol. There's a manual somewhere that Bruce made, but we mostly treat it as a guideline. The Batkids have their own that they update, and you already have access to that on your tablet." Tim gives him a look. "Tell me you need access."
Damian wisely stays silent. Tim remembers that the League isn't really attuned to the intricacies of hacking and coding, but Damian has had no trouble snooping through the system from what Tim has seen. He wonders if the League just got upgraded since Cass got trained, or if Damian is self taught. It doesn't matter.
"Right. Well, Dick said he'll take you on a mission whenever your schedule is open, and you can shadow me on my current patrol, move around. You won't be able to patrol on your own for a while but—"
"What will be your new name?" Damian interrupts, eyebrow raised. Curious.
"Oh—uh. I haven't thought about it." Tim stutters. He didn't expect Damian to ask—
"Liar." Damian accuses, squinting at him.
Tim sighs. "I dunno, Red Robin?"
"That's a terrible name." Damian's nose scrunches. "A stupid name, even."
"Wha—it is not!" Tim slams his tablet down. Damian's eyes suddenly go wide, horror dripping through his tone.
"Drake—tell me you did not simply combine Red Hood and Robin."
Tim stays absolutely fucking silent, grabbing his coffee to keep his mouth occupied.
"Drake, I implore you to be better than this." Damian slaps a hand over his face, which is rude.
"Hey! That is—that is just uncalled for—" Tim pulls his cup down, almost spilling it. He swears, but Damian pays no heed to him.
"I knew you were a fan of Todd's Robin, but this cannot go on. Did you expect me to graduate and become Green Robin?"
"No! That's stupid, there's not such thing as a green robin—"
"There's no such thing as a red robin either! Unless you wish to be named after a subpar restaurant." Damian throws his hands up.
"You've never even been to a Red Robin!" Tim sputters, and tries to get a handle on the situation.
He fails.
"You have at least sixteen unique aliases with full on back stories that you successfully keep track of and disguise yourself into, and you cannot do any better than Red Robin?" Damian says, loudly, over his protests and effectively silencing him,
Tim opens his mouth, closes it. Shuts his eyes. Grumbles. "Well I'd like to see you come up with a better name…"
"Cardinal." Damian gets up, stalking towards the secret entrance, clearly done with this conversation. "I cannot fathom how little sense you have. Ridiculous."
And well. Tim hates to say it, but Cardinal is much better than Red Robin.
Gods damn it.
===
"I will name her Batcow." Dick refuses to coo. Damian is covered in blood and wielding a sword, this is not cute behavior!
How did this happen? This was their first mission. It was supposed to be easy. Tomorrow, Tim was going to take him out on patrols. The weekend after that, Jaybird was going to take him paintballing. Steph and Duke were going to teach him how to prank people harmlessly. This was supposed to be nice, easy Robin bonding!
"That's nice, baby bird." Dick tries to placate, "We can shuffle her with the other cows to their new home—"
"Nightwing," Damian's voice brokers no argument, "I have claimed her."
Dick has to wonder if he was as much of a menace when he was this age. He wasn't, surely. Sure, he got Ace in an unconventional way, but Ace was practically made for hero-ing.
Not to mention Ace was a dog.
"It's great that you want a pet," Dick tries again, "But how about we start with a dog first? Maybe a cat?"
Damian thinks on that a bit, before nodding. Dick sighs a great sigh of relief.
"I would like one of each." Wait. What? No. Nononono—
Cackling echoes in the comms, the hysterics of Steph and Jaybird loud and guffawing in his ear.
"Stop laughing and help me." Dick hisses into the comms as Damian starts flicks the blood of his sword.
"I used to put him in, in air jail." Jaybird says through gulps of air, "Y'know, pick him up wh-hen he was acting n-naughty."
"That isn't exactly applicable here, Hood!" Dick grits through his teeth, causing Steph to shriek in high pitched laughter.
"We will have to take the jet," Damian interrupts, "Batcow will not fit on our motorcycles."
"No, Robin—we, uhm. We don't have room for a cow at home—" Dick wants to tear his hair out. He's too young for this, surely.
Heedless of his words, Damian starts to gently lead the cow towards him, raising a single eyebrow.
"Okay, well. We do have room, but that doesn't mean—"
"Nightwing. Robin." Dick has never been more glad to hear Bruce's voice, "Leave the cow with the proper authorities and report back to the Cave."
"Father," Damian's voice suddenly changes, "I would like to take Batcow home."
"…Robin," Bruce starts, but is summarily interrupted.
"Father, you have missed twelve of my birthdays." Damian's voice goes wobbly, despite Dick physically seeing that his face is stone cold, "And I have not once received a gift."
There's a long silence, and Dick slumps. What the fuck do you even say to that?
"…The jet will pick you up in 3 minutes."
"And the dog and cat?" Damian's voice is smug.
Dick sighs. "I'll take you to the shelter tomorrow."
The comms peak, from the sheer volume of Jay and Steph's mocking laughter.
===
Bruce enters his study with a tablet in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other.
It's been a long day.
He’s tired, preoccupied with thoughts of Damian starting school soon. The rest of his children seem to be causing some kind of trouble trying to celebrate it in their own way, and it's giving Bruce a minor headache about it.
Talia's continuous demands of pictures and actual reports is both heartwarming and excessive, but Bruce can hardly blame her.
His eyes should be scanning through the documents that Lucius sent over this morning and is still awaiting approval for.
What his eyes catch on instead is a new addition to his Gray Ghost shelf.
It’s an action figure of the eponymous hero, one in almost pristine condition. A first edition.
Inside the cloche with the Gray Ghost gun is a miniature version resting just beside it. The RC car also has a miniature version perched next to its front wheel. Between the trilby and the goggles lay two hands and a miniature case of the first DVD release.
He tilts his head, feeling his eyebrow raise and a smile crawl up as he picks up the action figure to inspect it. It looks old, but clean. Not quite used, but not sitting on a shelf either—there’s little knicks here or there. Perhaps found in a garage sale somewhere? It’s not even his birthday—still, the gift warms his heart as anything involving his children does.
Now, which one of his kids did this, he wonders?
No matter, he’ll find out soon enough. His children are terrible at keeping secrets, and he isn't Batman for nothing.
He places the figure gently back down in its place, and settles in for the long haul.
===
Talia sits, straight backed with her legs crossed in a highly uncomfortable chair.
Next to her, her Beloved looks lovely in his turtle neck and slacks, comfy, even.
She looks around the room, noting the whiteboard and assortment of small desks behind them,
There are motivation posters, and informational ones with equations listed upon them.
Talia refrains from scoffing, but really, what is the point of putting the answer up on the wall? How will they learn if they have such a crutch?
"Now," The portly man sitting across from them behind a large desk coughs to clear their throat, "Damian has shown high intelligence, his grades are top of the class and he has shown such high promise that the other teachers and I have discussed whether or not it would be beneficial for him to move up grades."
"I believe the principal and I already had this conversation, Mr. Porter." Bruce smiles, but it isn't the nice one, "Dami has always been a smart boy, but he was home-schooled, and we were more concerned about his socialization."
"Ah, yes. Well. The girls in the class seem to find him charming, albeit stoic. He is gentlemanly for his age, and doesn't really participate in…" Mr. Porter coughs once more.
Talia rolls her eyes. "In idle immaturity?"
"Well, yes. It's just—well," Mr. Porter tugs at his collar, "It's just boys being boys really."
"Has he made any friends? Of either gender?" Bruce asks, giving Talia a warning look. She shrugs, putting on her best innocent smile.
"Oh! Yes, one boy, Colin Wikes." Mr. Porter takes out a handkerchief to wipe his brow, "They seem to get along, in their own quiet way."
"That's lovely!" Talia's voice goes high, fake. Bruce winces, but she ignores him, "So his grades are up, he's made a friend, and overall he's popular with the ladies!"
"W-well, yes, but the other boys—"
"Now, now. Bruce is a lady-killer himself, and he managed to figure out male friendships eventually!" Talia simpers,"He had such a close friendship with Harvey Dent after all, before that whole...fiasco."
Bruce sighs, but again, Talia ignores him. "Now, I hear that my son has a talent in art? I see that none of them are hung up—"
This is very important business after all.
No-one can stop her from achieving her mission.
===
Jason opens his door carefully, quietly.
His traps have been disabled and reset, and Jason can only think of two people who would do that.
Both of them came from the League, and both of them don't take kindly to being startled.
He drops his work bag, the one for his mechanic's job, down in the entrance way. He takes of his heavy boots and treads silently through the apartment to find out which sibling came to visit.
He's greeted by Damian, asleep on his couch with an open and currently in danger of falling copy of Pride and Prejudice.
Jason quickly tiptoes over, grabs the book before it can fall to the ground, grabbing the kid's bookmark—a pressed flower that Cass made for him—and placing it to the side.
The fact that the kid hasn't woken up is testament to their time in the League.
Jason's been getting bits and pieces back, ever since he got shot and saw double vision of Damian and a younger version of the kid administering first aid to him.
Talk about shock therapy.
It's not all that pleasant, the memories.
He remembers the grueling training, the pain and anguish and fear of not remembering. Not knowing who he was, knowing Robin was important, not knowing what to do.
But not all of them are bad.
He remembers forcing Damian to brush his teeth for longer than 2 minutes, remembers tucking the tyke in with the bear, even the figure.
He remembers various missions, where he would pick up Damian and carry him to the nearest food stand to make him try an assortment of street foods with a series of flailing movements. Remembers the feeling of accomplishment and pride whenever the little guy would express it was adequate, because that was as good as a 5 star rating.
He remembers carrying him, hastily packed duffle bag and all, and thinking Gotham, Gotham is the safest place to be but not knowing why.
Mostly he remembers watching Damian sleep, peacefully, like he is now.
Because it's novel, then and now, how Damian trusts him enough to do it.
He sits himself down for a moment, always a little woozy when memories come surfacing up, breathing deep and leaning back. It's getting easier to remember, and Leslie had said it would stop eventually, so he weathers it out.
A second later, something warm thumps into his lap.
Damian has his head there, hands fisted like kitten's paws, curling up like a little ball.
Jason sees double, triple, memories and memories of watching this boy sleep and feeling honored and responsible and attached to him.
Brothers in arms, Talia had said, back when he wasn't quite himself, but wasn't Damian's Robin anymore either. You have a brother—
Jason had cut her off then, yelling that no replacement could ever be his brother.
He had eaten his words then, and he's eating them now too.
He lays a hand on Damian's back, rubs up and down his tiny shoulder blades, the way Bruce did when he was first adopted.
Brothers indeed.
He shuts his eyes, just for a moment, to breathe in the peace.
He falls asleep like that, dreaming of teddy bears and robins, and deadly, deadly assassins.
some jasons and damians thats been piling up :]
(and tim and alfred the cat)
#i can finally rest#dc#damian wayne#damian al ghul#talia al ghul#jason todd#dcu#my writing#batsiblings#batfam#batfamily#batkids#cassandra cain#dick grayson#tim drake#bruce wayne#duke thomas#alfred pennyworth#outsider pov#family feels
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Arcane preference reacting to a s/o with a mental health issues (eating)
My disclaimer, as someone with this issue, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while, but I was a bit cowardly about doing it, so I’m taking the opportunity now. I don’t want to go out of character, so I’m sorry if some characters come across as harsher than others. Unfortunately, I know I should write the name of the illness, but if I post it that way, Tumblr will take it down.
Jayce:
- He’s academically intelligent, but it takes him far too long to notice that something’s wrong. But you can’t blame him, it’s something so far removed from him that he couldn’t have understood it sooner.
- When he does realize, his first reaction is panic.
- Jayce can’t feel like just a blade of grass; he feels emotions deeply, taking on any blame, especially if something happens to the people he loves. His first thought is that he did something to make you feel that way, inadequate.
- But once the panic phase ends, the responsibility phase begins.
- He does the grocery shopping, he cooks, and his workouts become more regular, where he has you climb onto his back while doing push-ups or holds you in his arms during other exercises.
- He doesn’t know why you do it, but the quickest way to show you that your weight isn’t a problem is by showing you how easily he lifts you.
- And maybe, if you feel up to it, he can hold you in his arms with one arm supporting you while he cooks, letting you taste various ingredients.
Viktor:
- Unlike Jayce, it only takes two suspicious behaviors in a row for him to understand what’s happening. It’s something far from his world, sure, but he recognizes it.
- And he confronts you. He doesn’t beat around the bush, doesn’t stammer; he might even sound angry because he doesn’t understand why you’d hurt yourself like this and willingly give up your well-being.
- I won’t lie, I doubt that an open discussion about something this delicate with him wouldn’t lead to at least one hysterical cry.
- But he’s not brutal for the sake of being brutal; his suffering and frustration turn into anger. It takes him a while to calm down, but he won’t accept compromises.
- You’ll have meals together at home, either returning to your rooms together or straight to the house, so no one can see you and you won’t feel bad.
- And he won’t force you, he tries to handle it with as much care as possible, but there’s no day that goes by without him getting up from the table if you haven’t eaten at least two food items per meal.
- He loves you too much to see you hurt yourself in that way, and knowing that he can't do anything about it makes him feel powerless.
Ekko:
- It takes him a week—not to understand, but to process it.
- Having grown up in total poverty, the idea of giving up food “for whim” makes him react in a way that is only human.
- And the whole thing is too distant for him: everyone’s skin is grayish, 90% of the population of the Lanes has missing limbs and monstrous prosthetics, and everyone’s goal is to survive as long as possible. What does it mean that you’re against your own survival??
- As unsupportive as he might be regarding the issue, he becomes incredibly vigilant and concerned.
- He’ll always make sure you’re warm enough, that you’re comfortable, and no matter how frustrated he is, he’ll always try to stay close to you, even just holding you in bed until you fall asleep.
- Every single comment you make about your body, he’ll respond with, “Don’t talk about my partner like that,”
- no one can speak badly of you, not even you.
Vander:
- The most understanding: he was young once too, and although in his size meant an advantage, he and Silco snuck into various galas when they were younger, and there, even though he never had these problems, he would feel a strange sensation seeing that he was the biggest in the room or that it was hard to find someone to steal clothes from that would fit him.
- He doesn’t lecture you or anything like that, he doesn’t get angry despite how he grew up; he just feels sadness for you that you can’t see how little that complex matters and how beautiful you already are.
- His compromise is vegetables. If you don’t feel like eating every meal every day, it doesn’t matter, but at least four days a week, you have to have three meals.
- And for the rest, he’ll cook, making sure to prepare the best dishes made from vegetables so that you don’t feel guilty and your body doesn’t deteriorate.
- But he doesn’t support your illness, he simply ensures that you get everything you need and never go below the necessary intake without having you feeling guilty about it.
Silco:
- Hoping that the most attentive and watchful man in the lanes wouldn't notice how, suddenly, meals go from moments of lightness to something you try to avoid at all costs is a bit foolish, but he says nothing.
- He waits for as long as necessary, basically to see how long it lasts and how much you're not planning to talk to him.
- When he realizes you won’t, not anytime soon, he waits for you to be alone in his office, where you’ll find a slice of cake on his desk. Sure, it’s a low blow, but it’s also the fastest way to get you to confront the issue without too many escape routes.
- He’s a big fan of the saying “dirty laundry is washed in the family,” so if you act strange about meals in front of others, he won’t allow questions or jokes, but in private, he won’t accept “no” for an answer.
- He has enough problems already without you crying from hunger pains or having psychotic episodes due to sugar deficiency, so as long as you're under his watch, under Zaun's eye, he won't let you live with unhealthy standards.
- During meals, he becomes the strictest. He doesn’t say anything, but one look is enough to make you think twice about contradicting him. In the evening, though, when your mental health is most fragile, he becomes gentler, comforting you as much as you need.
Jinx:
- You find fertile ground, but like any good bearer of the same issue: she feels she can do it, but you cannot.
- Being with her or in her space becomes like a live-action version of Thumbelina: she’ll leave sweets, chocolates, things she knows you like to encourage you to eat so you can’t hurt yourself.
- She usually forgets to eat herself when she’s caught up in her studies and work, but if she has someone to care for, it doesn’t matter how, she’ll make sure to remember. Even if it means setting a few colorful bombs with timers.
- She feeds you. In the most visible, worst way. It’s easy that if you turn your head, you’ll find a cookie shoved in your mouth unceremoniously.
- And every single tight-fitting outfit disappears from her lair. Magically, whatever clothes you pick up from her pile fit loosely, but if you ask her about it, she’ll claim she doesn’t know what are you talking about.
Vi:
- Want to see Vi in a panic, becoming super protective and possessive in a way? Just wait for one episode, and you’ll see everything you haven’t seen.
- She’ll check on you at least three times a day, and in the evening, when you have pain or a crisis, she’ll run back and forth from the room, thinking about everything she can do to help you feel better without making you feel guilty.
- During meals, she’ll hold you in her arms and insist that you eat, but not aggressively—in a way that’s almost frightened: she’s always been used to fighting big, real monsters, but even when it came to her sister, she could never defeat the invisible ones, and the fear of failing or hurting someone she loved again terrifies her in an agonizing way.
- Like Jayce, she’ll also try a more physical way of reassuring you, like body worshipping when you’re alone or working out with you to show you that your weight doesn’t matter.
Caitlyn:
- She doesn’t know how to react; she realizes it quite quickly but fears that by acknowledging it, she might only make you feel worse.
- One day, she gathers the courage to ask if everything is okay and tells you that she’s noticed those behaviors. When you open up to her, telling her about the issues, she doesn’t respond right away and simply hugs you.
- She becomes more caring, making sure that you don’t have to attend banquets or dinners where you wouldn’t feel comfortable, bringing you food in your room to eat together, and sometimes even leaving the room so as not to put pressure on you.
- When you mention a craving, she immediately springs into action to get it for you, even if you complain that you weren’t serious. Once she understands how your condition works, she orders everything in three portions, so she can eat with you and then be the first to say that she wants more, asking if you want to share the third portion.
- If you have fat accumulated in any area, she’ll knead it with her hands while kissing you, to let you know that she loves every inch of you.
Mel:
- She notices you're having a crisis before you even realize it yourself.
- She’s a ruler, but what she learned from a young age is that a leader must appear reliable and look good, so even if unconsciously, she too sometimes experiences small crises when she feels like she isn’t looking perfect.
- No conversations, no lectures, just an increase in cuddles, moments of intimacy, and later, she brings home sweets.
- “They were a gift to me today at the council,” she lies, but sometimes she says she got them for both of you. She doesn’t want to make you feel like you’re in the wrong. She knows that when you’re ready and if you want to, you’ll bring up the issue with her, but for now, the best thing she can do is help you get through the episode with euphoria, love, and treats that encourage you to listen to your hunger rather than the illness.
Sevika:
- Like everyone in Zaun, the idea that someone would voluntarily give up food is simply incomprehensible to her.
- But she won’t comment on your problems. She doesn’t intend to invalidate them, but she also won’t encourage it.
- “Are you sure? That’s a bit too little,” will be her comment when you eat something ridiculously small, before making you a proper portion of food herself. If you try to argue, she’ll respond with a smug smile, saying that if you eat that little, you’ll end up breaking when you’re in bed together.
- As much as possible, she’ll try to get the best, freshest, and most natural food, to reassure you that you don’t need to worry, but she’ll never insist that you eat if you say you don’t feel up to it. She’ll gesture for you to come sit on her lap and keep you there, occasionally offering you things she knows you like, telling you that she’s really craving them, and if you want them too, she’ll go get them.
- If a crisis is particularly bad, she’ll try to finish her work as quickly as possible to be able to stay with you for the rest of the day and not leave you alone.
#jayce x reader#viktor x reader#ekko x reader#silco x reader#vander x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#sevika x reader#mel x reader#jayce talis#viktor arcane#ekko arcane#silco arcane#arcane vander#jinx#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#mel medarda#sevika#arcane x reader#arcane headcanon#arcane 2#arcane writing
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HERE IS WHY VIKTOR WALKED AWAY FROM JAYCE AFTER HE SAVED HIM AND WHY WE DIDN'T GET A DRAWN OUT DIVORCE!
(spoilers. Duh.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
short answer: It's because Viktor's dead.
Long answer:
So Arcane is all about people changing right? The first season was rife with the idea that if you want to become who you're meant to be you have to kill off your old self. (I'm paraphrasing here, and poorly, just REMEBER jinx's arc throughout the first SZN ok, powder had to die for jinx to live.)
In the show so far, we know arcane takes the idea of this change and charcter "death" very seriously. Ergo in that opening scene of s2e1 when Jayce sees Viktor crushed under the rubble and barely breathing Viktor is, for all the show's intents and purposes, dead.
This is where you may be shouting, NO BUT JAYCE RESSURECTED HIM! and listen I agree with you, Jayce physically resurrected Viktor, yes, but what came out of that cocoon is not Viktor. Lemme explain.
Arcane doesn't do ressurection, period, the show is about dying and changing, nobody stays the same, and if you die you come back different, unrecognizable even. (Jinx, Silco, Vander as Warwick) Singed is the only character who tries to keep things the same, preserve them, and those thing he has preserved have either been changed spectacularly anyway (jinx, Warwick/Vander) or they are Inert (Rio).
So when Jayce lays Viktor down on the lab table and he's all rekt, he is dead, like even if he's breathing Viktor is functionally dead, with no magical or medical intervention he will die/has died. (I have a bone to pick here a bit with the fact that Jayce didn't take him to a hospital. Maybe it was because of the glowy appendages but I doubt it. Which leads me to assume that Viktor's injuries were beyond medical treatment meaning, once again, that he's basically dead. )
Ergo when Jayce explicitly goes against Viktor's wishes to destroy the hexcore and instead fuses it into Viktor. What comes out of that cocoon isn't Viktor anymore.
Viktor says it himself when he walks out of the cocoon he asks " what am I?" And he says something like " I died/I should be dead." While it's subtle I think we, the audience, are meant to take this very LITTERALLY.
Even while Jayce is exclaiming that he" is alive" Viktor is very sure that he isn't, that he's dead and changed. (Hella bummed he didn't get a pretty arc for this change but I guess theyre counting S1 as his arc? Anyway)
There is very important moment I want to draw your attention to here, when Jayce embraces Viktor, in joy, and Viktor slowly returns the embrace one armed and leans into Jayce, he doesn't close his eyes. (I know this sounds crazy bare with me) What I'm positing here is that this is the first inkling that Viktor is gone because he doesn't accept what Jayce is telling/giving him.
Essentially in that reunion scene, imma call it a reunion, Jayce is giving Viktor everything he wanted, their dream, their partnership, Jayce's love and attention. (don't argue with me on this Viktor is s1 wanted both even it was unsaid) And Viktor refuses all of it, he doesn't accept Jayce's affection, he doesn't close his eyes when they embrace! closing his eyes, sinking into that hug would have been acceptance, it would have been the moment that Viktor, actual Viktor, had been waiting for. (and boy had he been waiting).
But what walked/crawled/clawed their way out of that cocoon isn't Viktor. Instead it's Viktor's body and whatever impression of Viktor, or maybe parts of his soul, he gave up/lost to the Hexcore.
I think the hexcore has, very litterally, become Viktor, like Jayce basically sacrificed Viktor's body to give the thing life and now it's wearing Viktor's face and has these remnants of his memories. I believe this because it also has Skye's voice!
The hexcore didn't have a voice before, it was like a weird murmuring hum, and Viktor couldn't understand it. But now whatever parts are left of Viktor and Skye have amalgamated into the hexcore and their good intentions/idealism are functioning to guide this newly born hexcore/machine herald. (That would explain why it leaves Jayce, it has the memories of Viktor's love but not the actual emotion, it would explain why it returns to the undercity, because it has memories of that place as "home" from both Vik and Skye, and it would also explain why the MH will eventually wear a mask, because it's not Viktor, it just has his face.)
So it makes sense when the machine herald leaves Jayce after that confession and offer, because it's not Viktor anymore. Viktor is dead and Jayce failed to save him.
Anyway, hope that cleared it up for you, of course THIS IS JUST A THEORY! AN ARCANE THEORY (I couldn't help myself)
A/N, this explanation isnt meant to, like, invalidate any complaints that the Divorce arc was too rushed/fast/thrown aside. Because in a lot of ways I think it was!
This also isn't to say that this explanation I give above is the perferred way to tell Viktor's story! Because I don't think it was! In many ways by killing Viktor and making him like, the human conduit for the hexcore, they have taken away 99% of Viktor's autonomy as a character. His choices are no longer his own, his actions are tainted by this corrupting force, he (if he is even alive) no longer is himself. This victimizes Viktor in a way I don't love but also draws away from his very valid and real pain and anger.
In the machine herald lore in LoL we have these ideas of transhumanism, self reinvention, and at its core, a guy who, pushed to his limits, turned his back on Pilotover and let his own hubris lead him to committing atrocious acts.
In LoL, Viktor becomes a monster, he chooses to be the machine herald, he meticulously replaces/removes parts of himself so he can become closer and closer to what he views as the " perfect machine". His glorious evolution surrounds this idea, that humanity is inherently weak and that the only way to overcome that weakness is to surrender to the machine, to evolve.
Arcane Viktor is not getting this Arc, whatever way they try to twist the magic they gave him he's not going to get this level of revenge or autonomy, he just isn't. His purpose is likely not going to be anywhere near as strong because like I said up top Viktor's a dead man. And he isn't getting to make choices anymore.
I'll end this post here before it gets unbearably long but feel free to pop off in the reblogs, tags, and comments lads!
Love Arcane too bits and can't wait for Act 2! JAYVIK NATION RISE!
#arcane#arcane spoilers#jayvik#machine herald#jayce talis#viktor arcane#league of legends#arcane season 2#the defender of tommorow
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A Fair Exchange -Aemond T.
(A little warning at the end for what is probably Aemond and his wife becoming mass murderers…?)
‘They’ve taken something of mine, I shall have something of theirs.’ Aemond spoke, stopping his mother from attacking Rhaenyra again and his father seemed to deem this acceptable.
‘What is it that you wish for then?’ He asked and Aemond smirked, looking over at the boys before tightening his grasp on the hand holding his tightly.
‘I will have their sister as my wife.’ He declared and no one moved, it seemed that everyone was shocked though at the same time no one was shocked at all.
Y/n and Aemond had been close since they were babies and they refused to fall asleep for a nap without the other until they were nearly 4 years old. Everyone thought they would end up together except their mothers who never wanted it. Also Daemon of course, who was her father though no one “knew” as he couldn’t claim her and admit Rhaenyra cheated on her husband, though he had admitted in the past that if he could without ruining her life, he would in a heartbeat.
‘I don’t see why not, perhaps it will bring our family together as they should be! My son Aemond Targaryen and my granddaughter Y/n Velaryon will be married when they come of age, and this matter is now finished! This infighting will cease now!’ The King limped his way out of the room and everyone was silent, not knowing what to say before Alicent spoke.
‘Are you sure this is what you want, my boy?’ She asked. Alicent didn’t have malice towards the sweet girl who had been her lonely sons only friend but she worried he would have his heart broken and for her sweet boy, that was the last thing she wanted.
‘It is all I want and you know it. Y/n will be my wife…all is forgotten.’ Everyone knew as Aemond said it that it was very untrue, even his sweet girl felt the tension before speaking.
‘In that case, it is my duty to tend to my betrothed. You need to rest, it is the only way you will heal.’ Aemond just smiled despite the pain in his face as she pulled him towards the exit and led him back to his room. ‘Here, you change, I will wait in the hall.’ He rolled his eye as she did this but allowed it, changing quickly before calling her back in with his shirt half on.
‘I can’t see it right.’ He lied, making her believe that he couldn’t tie his shirt closed and she moved quickly, taking pity on her best friend. ‘Thank you for taking care of me, Byka Zaldrīzes.’
‘Of course my love, I will always take care of you.’ Aemond pulled her into his bed with him as he laid down, painfully.
‘They’re going to take you from me again, especially now…promise me this feeling won’t die. No matter how many days or years we spend apart thanks to your mother. Swear it. Swear you will not stop loving me!’ He held her hands tightly as his mother and a maester walked into the room, bringing him milk of the poppy to sleep.
‘I swear it my Dragon, now it is time for you to sleep. You must take care of yourself-‘
‘Don’t leave me!’ He demanded. ‘You will be here when I wake, promise me!’
‘I will promise if you sleep now, drink.’ She holds the jar out for him and he does as she says, drinking the jar before clutching her hand and allowing himself to drift off.
‘You know your mother will want to leave again in the morning, as we must?’ Y/n nodded to the Queens question, sighing heavily and moving to snuggle into Aemond’s side as they had done hundreds of times over as children. ‘I will check on him in a few hours. If anything happens you send for me immediately, especially if he wakes, he will need something for the pain for quite some time.’
‘Of course, you have my word, your grace.’ Y/n agreed and watched Alicent walk to the door.
‘Don’t hurt him. You’re the only one who hasn’t yet, I don’t think he could survive unscathed.’ The Queen left before the Princess could respond but she thought on her words, knowing that she would never purposefully hurt her best friend and soon to be husband.
For the rest of the night Y/n was in and out of sleep, too worried about Aemond to sleep soundly until he awoke just as the sun began to rise. ‘Ah!’ He hissed, moving to grab at his face only for her to catch his hand before he could.
‘Don’t touch it my Dragon, you need something for the pain. Wait right here-‘
‘Don’t leave!’ He pleaded, tightening his grip on her hand.
‘I won’t leave the room, give me a moment.’ She jumped up and opened the door quickly. ‘Guard! Send for the Queen, inform her that Aemond is awake and in terrible pain! Go Now!’ She demanded and one of the guards at the door jumped to do as she shouted. Y/n may have been a sweet girl but she’s still Daemons daughter and has his rage inside of her tiny body. ‘She’ll be here soon.’
Aemond didn’t speak for a moment, just gazed up at her. ‘You are beautiful, my love…are you sure you wish to marry me?’
‘What is this nonsense, Aemond?!’ She laughed but he didn’t, he just stared straight ahead before speaking again.
‘I know I must look a fright, and you deserve a strong, handsome husband to-‘
Y/n cut him off with a swift slap to the non injured side of his face before moving to straddle his lap and force him to look at her. ‘Don’t you ever speak that way about the boy I love again, do you hear? You are strong, handsome, capable and in a few years you will make a wonderful husband and father to our children. If I didn’t want it I would have spoken up last night…losing your eye does not make you less of a man, my Dragon. And I would be heartbroken if you were to call off the wedding.’
Aemond looked more relaxed now before leaning in and pressing his lips to Y/n’s delicately before pulling back to see a dark blush on her cheeks. ‘I needed to do that…just once before you’re gone.’
‘Well then, do it right.’ She spoke, pressing her lips back to his. Aemond loved how soft her lips were as he wrapped his arms around her firmly for several seconds before pulling away and moving her to sit beside him.
‘Thank you for calming my worries.’ He kissed her hand tenderly and saw no malice or disgust in her eyes as she looked at his butchered face and it brought him comfort, a comfort he knew he would need for years to come.
Those years came and went very slowly as both of them were forced apart. It was assumed that Y/n would come back to the Red Keep once she was a women but that came and went as well, the Queen finally putting her foot down and ordering Rhaenyra to send her back when Aemond and Y/n were 17 (having heard rumors of her trying to find a different husband for her daughter). She had mounted Vermithor several years earlier so rather than her family bringing her and ending up in a huge family squabble, she flew herself to Kings Landing and her mother and family would join before the wedding.
She landed in the courtyard, people scattering like rats as the second largest dragon in the world descended from the skies and by the time she was greeted she was off of Vermithor’s back and petting his face just how he liked.
‘Princess! We are honored to see you back.’ Y/n turned to find the Queen and the hand of the King waiting for her at a safe distance, eyeing the dragon before a silver haired man came running from the castle behind them, stopping short to see her as she did him.
‘Hello Aemond.’ She greeted, stepping away from her dragon so that he could take her hand and he did, kissing it firmly, his eye never leaving hers and noting that once again her gaze held no disgust or fear.
‘My beautiful Bride, it is wonderful to see you again. I have missed you.’ He admitted and she couldn’t hide her smile.
‘I have missed you something fierce as well. I would like to spend time getting to know my future husband again, however I would like out of my riding clothes first.’ She spoke, removing her gloves and Aemond couldn’t hide his smirk before holding out his arm.
‘I would be happy to show you to your temporary room.’ Y/n knew he was hinting at her moving into a room with him once they were married, one larger than either of them has now which was probably already being prepared.
‘Dinner will be served in an hour, I’m sure you can escort her there too my son.’ Alicent smiled, happy to see her second son smiling once again. It was something she hadn’t really seen since Y/n left apart from the occasional conversation with Helaena.
Aemond walked her to her rooms and waited in the hall until she had changed into a dress, unable to take his eyes off of her as she walked back out of the room and suddenly he felt like Aegon. Drooling over a women like a dog, desperate to rip her clothes from her body.
He had never felt like this before.
‘You are a vision, my love.’
‘Apparently you would like me to spend all of my time here blushing.’ Y/n teased, taking ahold of his arm.
‘I thought we would take a walk in the gardens before dinner.’
‘That sounds lovely.’ She agreed, happy to follow wherever he led her, knowing she would be safe. ‘We used to tease couples that took a walk in these gardens every day, do you remember?’
‘I do.’
‘And now we understand, it was just to get away from prying eyes and ears.’ Aemond snorted, knowing that she was right.
‘You’re in Kings Landing my love, even the flowers have ears here.’ Aemond held her to his side firmly as if terrified she would disappear again but she clutched onto his arm just as firmly.
‘I am glad that your mother sent for me. I thought I was going to have to flee on my own, my mother was trying to form a bond between myself and the Wolf of the North since we met last year. The last thing I need is to be sent to freeze with Northerners for the rest of my days.’ She teased but Aemond did not find it funny.
‘She tried to take you from me?’ He tried to control his tone so he did not sound like he was angry with her but she could see his upset clearly as they sat on a bench by the cliff overlooking the ocean.
‘My mother wanted me to want to break our engagement myself, she knew that is the only thing you would have respected. Clearly she does not know me very well to assume I would be willing to leave my Dragon alone.’ Her soft smile settled him a bit but he still had the urge to set all of Dragonstone ablaze.
‘I would have needed to hear it from your lips my love, they will never take you from me again. You are mine, tomorrow we will be married and anyone who tries to come between us will be burned alive.’ Y/n’s eyes lit up in excitement and it shocked Aemond a bit. Any other Lady would have been put off by that but not his girl, not his soon to be wife, rider of the second largest dragon in the world.
‘Promise?’ She questioned and he tilted his head in question. ‘Promise me you’ll burn them, anyone who comes between us, every one of them, because I would…any women that tries to take you from me will be Vermithor’s dessert. Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve fed him several guards dumb enough to think they had a chance with me. I truly believe my dragon finds it amusing.’ She teased, giggling as if he had told a hilarious joke and not just heard her admit to feeding the guard to her mount.
‘I promise. However, you will need to stop doing that here. This is not Dragonstone, someone will notice.’ Aemond laughed, his bride surprised him, she is not the sweet, shy little thing he remembered and he enjoyed it quite a lot.
‘I can do that. We could feed peasants to them though…’
‘You really want to watch your dragon eat people.’
��It’s one of the best perks of having a dragon. If someone is mean to you, you feed them to the beast, except family cause my mother would frown on Vermithor eating Jacaerys…have I scared you away?’
Aemond shook his head, leaning close and resting his forehead against hers. ‘Never my love. You are all mine, you have a strange hobby to be sure but I think a few peasants could stand to go missing…I want to give you something. Obviously I’ve missed quite a few of your name-days-‘
‘And I’ve missed yours. Let’s just say they cancel each other out and go from here.’ She proposed.
‘Yes, but! I have gotten you an early wedding present that I hope you will like…it is different admittedly but I had it commissioned just for you.’ Aemond nervously handed her the box and she grinned in excitement, loving presents and he knew it. She gasped loudly upon opening the wooden box to find a thick necklace covered in sapphires along the front with a large one sitting right in the middle. She took it out and noticed it would sit across her throat rather than down her neck and as Aemond helped her put it on it put pressure on her throat in a strange but nice way.
‘No one will ever doubt that you are mine again.’
‘Most assuredly not…I love it Aemond! It’s beautiful!’
‘Really?’ She nodded quickly, touching the large sapphire. ‘Good, because I had hoped you would wear it to the wedding…and after the wedding…?’
‘You want everyone in attendance to know that you own me.’ She giggled. ‘I will wear it everyday for the rest of my days…husband. A symbol of my dedication to you and our lives together.’ With that Y/n leaned over and pressed her lips to Aemond’s, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her close to deepen the rough, desperate kiss.
Y/n did wear that choker for the rest of her days, never taking it off. Aemond often found himself looking at it, reminding himself how much his wife loved him.
He stared at it when they were married before their family and the Gods.
He stared every time she was abed giving birth to one of their 4 children.
And he found himself staring when they got away from everything to engage in their hobby, which became their favorite thing to do as a couple…besides fuck of course. Y/n was wonderful at finding willing men and even women to follow her down to the dark beach with promises of rich food and sex only to find themselves being eaten by one of the largest dragons in the world.
Everyone “knew” when they were children that they belonged together…they had no clue how right they all really were…
Aemond Targaryen Masterlist
#hotd#house of the dragon#house of the dragon imagine#hotd season 1#hotd season 2#hotd imagine#hotd x reader#hotd fic#hotd aemond targaryen#house of the dragon aemond#house targaryen#Aemond Targaryen#aemond x niece!reader#aemond x y/n#aemond x reader#aemond x oc#aemond fluff#Aemond imagine#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond targaryen x oc#prince aemond targaryen#prince aemond#aemond one eye#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen fluff#ewan mitchell#Vhagar#aemond targaryen x niece!reader
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inspired by this post by @monstream theorizing that tommy will pop back up in a couple months and reveal he dipped out like his ass was on fire because he got a cancer diagnosis. (be advised: this is not about real cancer. this is tv cancer.) 1300 words.
a chance encounter
Bobby still has a blood donation appointment at First Presbyterian every two months, which he attends religiously, barring exemptions like the six months he had to skip after the heart attack. Years ago, when it started, Chimney arranged a rotation for rides, and as their team went through staffing changes, it settled to a more informal thing, whichever of them would be available verbally stepping up each time. Athena would have been the logical choice with one of the 118 as backup, but this is theirs. Buck likes it because usually he and Bobby stop for a meal and catch up, just the two of them.
On their way to the elevators, they hear applause in the next wing over, and Bobby gives Buck a little smile before they join the gathering at the back of the small crowd. He loves a bell ceremony.
A teen girl in a green hoodie that reaches her knees is blushing and stumbling over her words, flustered by the attention. "Anyway," she says, "I'm not gonna be sick at prom and I'm so effing excited." She rings the bell and pumps a fist in the air before hugging one of the nurses.
"All right," says a blonde woman holding a clipboard. "We have three more patients who completed treatment! I know, right? It's been a good week."
Buck looks down at the coffee he grabbed from the on-site cafe while Bobby was getting drained, which tastes different somehow but he can't put his finger on it. Soy milk, maybe? A sharp nudge forces him to look up into Bobby's suddenly tense expression.
"Well. So... yeah. These last few months have sucked."
Buck swings his head around and Bobby grabs the coffee out of his hand. There, acknowledging a round of polite laughter, is Tommy, dressed in a henley and flannel shirt, all in shades of blue. Buck always liked him in blue. He looks slimmer, more like the version of himself from Chim and Hen's old team photos. He's wearing a Raiders hat.
"I knew, as a firefighter who flew helicopters, that I probably didn't have the highest life expectancy. But this diagnosis still threw me for a loop."
Buck should not be here. He should not be here. But he can't convince his feet to move.
"I did some dumb things, isolated myself, assumed the worst. It was the staff here who kept--gently--smacking me upside the head, reminding me that there was still hope." Tommy ducks his head and when he looks up eyes are bright. "Thank God for them."
Buck feels like he is stuck in a column of rapidly curing cement. It started down at his feet and now his lungs won't inflate.
"Buck," Bobby hisses, tugging at his sleeve.
"Bug your city council rep to increase compensation for healthcare workers because there's no way they get paid enough to deal with my bullshit." A cluster of small children at the front of the group starts howling at the swear, and he grins, unrepentant. Buck might be drowning. "Thank you, everyone. Fuck cancer." He rings the bell and steps back quickly for the next patient, accepting good-natured pummeling from several members of the staff as everyone applauds.
The smile that settled on Tommy's face vanishes as their eyes meet. The column of cement also vanishes. Breathing hard, his pulse hammering in his ears, Buck follows Bobby down the hall to the elevators.
"Buck?"
It still sounds so wrong coming from him. Buck flinches and looks at the slowly progressing display of which floor the elevator is on. Stairs it is. "I'll meet you down there," he says to Bobby, and doesn't wait for a response.
Buck plows through the door to the stairwell, moving as quickly as possible.
"Wait! Please? I can follow for a little bit, but fourteen flights of stairs is beyond me at the moment."
Buck slows his progress down, stopping at the next landing.
"What-" Tommy takes the stairs slowly, one by one. "What are you doing here? How did you find out?"
Buck glances up. "I didn't. We just happened to be in the neighborhood. This place is our home away from home, you know?"
"Oh," Tommy says, then has the nerve to look concerned. "Is everyone okay?"
"I'm not fucking okay. Did you know you were sick?"
"When?" he temporizes. "I mean, they did tell me at one point."
"You know when," Buck says, seething, his vision growing redder when Tommy doesn't answer. "I asked you to move in with me." I was all in. You didn't have to do this alone.
Tommy finishes the last few steps and joins him on the landing. "You asked your gym rat firefighter boyfriend to move in with you. Not an unemployed puke machine with a thirty-nine percent chance of kicking it in the next five years."
"Oh my God." Buck laughs, wanting to scream at the wall. "So I'm not a newborn bisexual who couldn't possibly know what I want, I'm just a piece of shit who would drop a partner for getting sick. Or maybe I'm both."
"No, I-"
"If you say 'it wasn't you, it was me' I'm gonna start taking these steps three at a time."
"It was-" Up close, Tommy looks tired. There are lines in his face that weren't there before. "Significantly more about me and my trust issues than it was about you. Is that different enough for you to stick around?"
"You gave me trust issues, Tommy. Not just in you, or other people I might date, but in myself."
Tommy's expression is gutted. "I'm sorry. I was trying to avoid more pain in the future, for both of us."
Sparing a thought for Bobby, who hopefully settled in the lobby to wait, Buck sits on the landing, wedging himself against the wall to take up less space. "I loved you."
"I believe you." Tommy sat down next to him, almost touching because of the width of the staircase. "I shouldn't have dismissed your feelings. You're a grown man and all I can say in my defense is that I become the fucking unabomber when I get scared. Ask Howie and Hen about my years as a closet case working under a captain who got a medal for outstanding work in homophobia."
It would be so easy to pull Tommy into his arms. Just reach out.
"Buck?"
Buck swipes at his eyes with the heel of his hand. "Please don't call me that."
"I'm sorry. I honestly felt I gave up the right to set myself apart in that way." Tommy swallows. "Evan."
Buck blinks away a fresh round of tears. "Are you okay, really?"
Tommy gestures at himself. "As you can see, I'm not going out tomorrow and running a marathon, but next week I get to start training to go back to work." He shrugs a little, smiling. "So I'm pretty damn peachy."
"What about the thirty-nine percent?"
Tommy whistles while pointing down. "It's pretty much back to whatever my prognosis was for running into fires and flying around in a tin can."
"That's- That's great." Buck's phone rings.
"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt anything," Bobby says. "I just didn't want to leave without saying something. I'll get an Uber, okay?"
"No. No, we're good. I'll see you in five." Buck meets Tommy's steady gaze. "Next week, huh? Do you wanna go for a run at that park near my place? I promise to take it easy on you. Or, not easy, whichever you need."
Tommy visibly stops himself from declining. "Okay. Text me." He rises from the steps and starts for the exit door as Buck begins his way down. "Evan?"
Buck turns. "Yeah?"
"I loved you, too."
Breathing out, Buck rolls his shoulders back. "I figured. See you next week."
#911 abc#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#my writing#things by beanarie#not crossposting to ao3 yet bc i might have another chapter in me
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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
➛ 08. LOSING DOGS
a/n: i can't really explain why i took so long with this chapter. possibly because of how much i don't want this series to end and we're so close. but also it's just been hard to find the inspo as of late. but thanks to a movie day with @soulores where we yearned and screamed and laughed over this man, and well me rewatching the deadpool movies 1 & 2 for wade inspo i managed to finish this. it's been a ride delving into their angst and i hope you enjoy! we're one more chapter away from the ending and from this man's happy ending.
summary: time spent apart gives logan a chance to grieve - to mourn the family he lost. it gives you the opportunity to come to terms with what loving the wolverine means. the consequences that come with the choice of betting on someone like him. after all, he's not a violent dog...he just tends to bite harder than necessary.
word count: 7k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: not explicit, angst, grief, dual pov chapter sorta, wade wilson breaking the fourth wall, wade wilson therapist, laura kinney is here to stay everyone, crying, pain, emotional turmoil, ptsd, time.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST
You don't sleep anymore.
This wasn't due to a lack of exhaustion—you were always tired—you simply couldn't bear to withstand the dreams longer than necessary. They filled your head with their brutality. Ripped apart your psyche in such a short time frame, only to leave you split open and bleeding for the buzzards and vultures to pick at. You were surprised Wade never commented on how you resembled a walking corpse day after day.
Walking amongst the living as your soul was claimed by the dead.
Nightmares quickly became your waking reality. A piece of what Logan left behind burrowed in your chest, settling further than you could ever reach. But that remained the horrid truth. You didn't want to get rid of it—you couldn't fathom the thought for longer than a few seconds. The remedies given by Wade, Laura, Ness, were all flimsy bandaids that you stripped off when they weren't looking—hoping that the darkness within would eventually consume you whole.
What existed in your mind—in the very depths of your heart—were all you had left of the man who disappeared without a trace.
Staring at the ceiling was easier. Tracing the cracks in the plaster, the worn in marks of people who lived here long before you ever would. You pretended that he lay beside you—his body inches away from reaching for you. In search of a slice of contentment to counteract the yawning grave that threatened to bury him alive. You could play along in this delusion, create a world of your own as your vision blurred.
Maybe if you wished hard enough...it would come true.
Eventually the need for sleep won, dropping shovel after shovel of dirt. Intent on burying you six feet under in a spot that was never meant for you. Memories played on a loop, a reminder of what could never be—a fate that had been mistakenly written in the stars— and you accepted it with a solemn heart that sang a long forgotten song.
One you never should have learned.
A creak echoed in the living room, your door left ajar in case you had to run. But the cadence of her footsteps had grown familiar to your weary ears. The drag of boots across hardwood, a shuffle here and there in her attempt to stay quiet. She hardly left your apartment anymore. Taking a spot on your couch like a guard dog you never asked to keep—a protector who took on the role her father was meant to fill.
Laura often fell asleep on the leather piece of furniture never meant to be utilized as a bed. You peeked your head out once to check if she needed anything, only to find her laying with her body faced closest to the door—a cracked picture frame of a much older version of your Logan placed on the table beside her. Her brows were furrowed, face pinched in fear, and for the first time you understood her relationship to the Wolverine.
She shared much more than his DNA.
She was plagued by his nightmares as well.
Your heart cracked a bit further at the knowledge that she might never have another night of peace in her life. Forever taunted by a past that should have been happy.
Sighing, you turned onto your side, staring at the neon glow of your alarm clock—a polaroid of Logan propped against the lamp. Wade took it months before you got the chance to meet the man who would drastically shift the course of your life. Two days ago you found it on your pillow—a chocolate bar beside it. Wade's attempt at making you smile.
Even if all it managed to do was make you cry.
Broken wet sobs that left your body wracked with shivers, your heart numb to each emotion that might have existed before he walked away. You'd gone over their explanations in your head numerous times. Mulled over each word and soft whisper of why. Yet nothing registered but the emptiness—the hollow ache that spilled over with grief.
No matter how often you patched it back up, he still managed to break his way back in. The reminder of his absence only served to split you down the middle—rendering you incapable of anything but pain.
"I miss him too."
Your body jolted at the soft sound of her voice practically filled to the brim with melancholy. She stood in your doorway, hands limp at her side, and for the first time you saw her as who she really was. A child who lost her father not once, but twice. Wordlessly you dragged the blankets back from his side of the bed, rolling to face her as she clambered onto the mattress still clad in jeans and a t-shirt.
You offered your own pajamas a week ago in the hopes of making her more comfortable. Only for her to reveal she slept in her clothes even at the mansion.
Just in case.
"What was he like? Your father." The topic of the older Logan rarely came up for you, his memory somehow entwined with the man you fell in love with. But Laura knew him best. She'd seen him at his worst, only to watch him become the father he was always meant to be. "You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."
She sighed, shifting around as if to shed the layer of vulnerability that scratched at her. "Angry."
You smiled. "Always?"
"No," she breathed. This breached onto territory she wasn't used to, memories she never liked to look back on, but for some unknown reason...it made you smile. So she persisted in spite of the discomfort that gnawed at her stomach. "He took care of Charles for a long time before he found me. Or well before I found him. But he had a lot to be angry about."
"I imagine." And you could.
Humans were their own enemy at times, destroying all that was good in the world. After witnessing what Fortuna went through—where her path lay—you understood how people would rather villainize what they didn't understand. Logan faced it each day, the difference of being someone who slipped by unnoticed yet could never truly reveal himself.
A man that carried the grief of all he lost and persisted despite the pain.
"He would have liked you," Laura mumbled, her eyes growing heavy with sleep's desperate call.
"I don't think–"
"You're like Charles." Her eyes slipped shut, body sagging into the mattress, while you were stunned into silence. "That's why."
She fell silent before the words managed to sink deep into your mind—puncturing a spot of love that existed in spite of all this agony. A place that Logan claimed all to himself. Yet as you lay there, tracing the lines of his daughter's face with your eyes, you felt her memory merge with his. Creating a small corner of your world for her to reside in—a home in your heart.
Tucking the blanket around her shoulder, you met sleep's call with a pleased sigh. It gripped you tight, closing its arms around your steady beating heart. Unbeknownst to you as the clock struck two in the morning, a shard of your broken heart wedged itself back into place. Healing over with a jagged scar sewn together by the girl who longed for permanency in a world that offered her the bitter end of a short stick.
The girl who asked for her father and got a mother instead.
Burnt pancake batter filled your senses, burning the insides of your nostrils as you were roused from sleep to the sharp off key singing of Wade in your kitchen. The spot beside you was empty, the sheets cold, and with a ragged sigh you sat up. Rubbing the sleep from your bleary eyes. What slowly became your favorite part of the mornings—waking up beside a man who did everything he could to keep you between warm sheets—suddenly shifted into a horrid dream.
You were alone. Again.
The familiar prick of tears stung your eyes faster than you would have liked. Although that might have been the pancakes.
In sluggish movements, you dragged a flannel over your t-shirt to combat the frozen chill beginning to settle in the New York air. Fall was right around the corner, leaving you with a list of things to do before the apartment was back in working order. The window still sat unfixed—plastic taped over the gaping hole per Wade's instructions—and the radiator gave out after Fortuna's whip went through it.
"Just call me angel of the morning," Wade crooned, flipping another charred piece of bread onto a stack that began to lean four pancakes ago.
Laura watched it warily, her fingers gripped around a can of shitty soda you picked up for her two days ago. Coffee was offered as an alternative to her sugary habits; she offered to steal in case you were low on funds. You figured it was easier to appease than argue.
"Do you even know how to cook?" she muttered, taking another gulp.
"Such a ray of sunshine. It's like Logan is still here with us." Wade poured another glob of chunky batter onto your now ruined cast iron pan. "Tell me does that come from your genetics or is it a fancy power they gave you?"
She snorted, her claws coming free to stab at the pile and drag a pancake to her plate. "Genetics."
"I figured." He slid the syrup her way, the bowl in his other hand nearly tipping the batter onto the floor. "Use a fork, you alley cat. Housewives do not get paid enough to cook a fantastic meal and serve it too."
"You're not getting paid," Laura mumbled through a mouthful of food.
"Exactly." His head glanced towards the stove, eyes narrowed in mock irritation. "We should talk about that huh Feige."
A pancake slipped off the stack, hitting the counter with a heavy thud and you began to wonder if the bread was in fact what he said it was. Ever since you woke up in the mansion, Wade had been your chef morning noon and night. Each meal entirely came with
Laura squinted at the smoke rapidly rising to the ceiling. "Maybe you should cook them for shorter periods of time."
"Don't question my methods, I'm a pancake champion Oliver." Her face scrunched, disgust flooding across her narrowed gaze. "Oliver and Company? Orange alley cat led and taught by the smooth dog Dodger?" She shook her head. "Greatest take on Oliver Twist to exist?"
"Never heard of it."
He dropped the bowl, jabbing a finger in her face quick enough to startle you where you hid by the doorway. "I hope you're ready to have your life changed Howlett Junior by the voice of Billy Joel taking away all our worries. Right sweet angel?"
Your attempt to meld yourself into the wall proved unsuccessful when Laura turned to smile at you, trepidation rising to the surface in her eyes. They watched you with an air of indecision. After Logan left you became a ticking time bomb—each second passing quicker than either of them expected—and one day when it was least expected...you'd explode.
Every emotion you tried to push down would shove its way to the front, rendering them unavoidable. That's what terrified you the most. It scared them too—you could see it hidden beneath looks of false joy and hopeful glances. They wanted you to heal, to survive this grueling time of solitude.
You simply didn't know if you had it in you to appease their worries.
Peeling away from the doorframe, you moved closer with soft unsure movements. So unlike the person from before who got over the unrelenting fear of being seen, of one day being known. He read you like a book, flipped the pages with enthusiasm and love, and you thought what resided in your own heart was enough to keep him reading. You believed he might put pen to paper and script what lay in the path of your lives spent together.
But he stopped reading weeks ago, shutting the half empty story to save you from the grief that devoured him from the inside out.
He let you remain unfinished. Perhaps that's how you were always meant to be.
"Tell me somewhere in that sexy mind of yours there's a version of Oliver and Company, cause I can't be surrounded by uncultured fiends," Wade rambled, tossing two pancakes onto a clean chipped plate he slid your way.
"I know of it," you replied. The meek echo of your voice sent a wave of shock through your system—so different, so unrecognizable.
You wanted to be known again, to exist in the confines of someone's mind. Wade and Laura offered up theirs on a silver platter—promising not to tarnish the fracture spirit housed in your weary body.
The burnt flavor of bread nearly made you gag, but Wade's smile forced you to swallow with a half hearted grin. "Isn't it a cartoon?"
Wade huffed. "And we’re comic book characters. What else is new?" Chewing happily on his own plate, he drowned his breakfast in a heaping wave of syrup that dripped onto your flour covered counter. "The offer to watch it today is on the table."
You swallowed thickly, nose wrinkled at the bitter flavor that stuck to the back of your throat. "Actually I'm gonna go into work today."
They froze. Unease stirring to life in the small kitchen as they regarded you with the hesitation you'd grown sick of facing. You couldn't be a recluse for the rest of your life, spending days watching movies on your couch with Wade—sharing quiet dinners with Laura at the table that housed a vase full of decaying flowers. Things wouldn't come to a halt because a man exited your life—they couldn't.
Logan left to heal.
It was time you did the same.
"I don't have much sick leave left," you began, the argument ready to leap off the tip of your tongue. "And my shift ends at six, which gives me enough time to pick up some actual dinner."
"Wolverine 2.0 goes with you," Wade replied—the stern lilt of his voice jarring you for a moment.
"Wade–"
"She goes."
There remained no room left to place your well thought out points in, no space for you to budge on his only demand. You supposed this was better than having both of them show up out of the blue. Your boss hardly let you get away with Logan showing up once or twice; two heroes would send them over the edge, eventually leading to your job being terminated.
You sighed, pushing the food around your plate for a second. "I guess she can learn something. Since she's supposed to be in school."
"You know I'm right here," she interjected, shoving the empty dish towards Wade.
"Hush. The adults are talking." He threw a wink your way, eyes glinting with a mischief that dimmed the day Logan left. The sight filled your lungs with air, hope settling at the base of your empty heart. "I'll pack the lunches."
Warmth filled the empty crevices of your body—sparking life into a part of you that had been vacant for weeks. "You don't have to."
"Shush. I've got to take care of my little breadwinner." He pinched your cheek hard enough to send pain flaring down your neck. "Besides I need to live up to my role as wifey or Ness will stop calling me that in bed."
Laura groaned, her eyes shutting to the sight of Wade's brash smile. "Gross."
"Ew," you replied, unable to hide the grin that cracked across your dried lips. "I didn't need to know that."
"Au contraire. If I had to hear you and Logan go at it for hours at a time. Kudos by the way it sounded like he gave phenomenal dick. You get to listen to me yap about my sex life."
Laura sped past you, vanishing into the bathroom and slamming the door shut with her boot. You couldn't blame her reaction. Hearing about her father's life drudged up pain that still existed in the back of her mind. Grief that she'd have to work through. Yet if she was anything like Logan, you'd have to face your own broken trauma in order for her to finally face hers.
"Yap?" you inquired, desperate to move on from the topic of him.
"Yeah. It's what all my fellow Gen Z’ers are saying."
With brows furrowed, you bit back the swell of laughter that bubbled up your throat. "Wade you're older than me by–"
His hand clapped over your mouth, muffling the remainder of your sentence. "Shhhh." A quick glance was thrown to the side. "Last I checked this is the Logan show. Not the Wade show. Well...not yet anyways."
"Hey Wade," you mumbled beneath a scarred palm that gripped your cheeks together. "Thank you."
For the first time all week...Wade gave you a smile that finally reached his eyes. Irises plagued with the same flicker of sadness that weighed heavy in your heart. The feeling of loss within a found family—of things changing faster than you could process. In an instant you were back to square one, struggling to keep your head above water.
Only this time you weren't swimming these dark waters alone. This time Wade and Laura clung to you, dragging what remained to a shore of a different color. A life yet to be explored.
"Anytime angel," he whispered with a kiss to your temple—drawing you close enough to feel his heart beneath the thin t-shirt. An organ that beat for one more person, that carved out space for his small inkling of hope.
For the family made up of two mutants, a blind woman, a sugar bear, the love of his life, and you.
The clatter of keychains echoed past the empty rows of shelves, bouncing off high ceilings decorated with yellowed lights. You caught sight of a small X-Men insignia stitched onto the side of the faded gray backpack. The stitches were frayed, the initials of L. K. H. placed right above it in sloppy angled sharpie, but the sight explained enough. Her entire life was stored within these aged pockets, in a pack held closed by a broken zipper and some faith.
"I like the Deadpool one." You watched her gloved hands toy with it for a moment, eyes glancing down the rows of darkened shelves every few moments.
Even here in the midst of silence and history, she remained on guard.
You wanted to promise a sliver of peace beyond all that she went through—a place where nothing happened except the shuffle of books and moving of boxes. Only to realize that you'd never be able to tell her something so untrue.
She'd never be entirely safe again. That made you want to rip at the world until your hands went bloody and raw. Until there remained a guarantee that she'd be able to sleep at night, that when her father came home things would be different.
"Peter made it." She picked at the black polish on her nails—the bottle swiped off your vanity a week ago in the hopes you wouldn't go looking for it. "Said a member of X-Force should have the marker."
"Didn't...they all die?"
"Yeah. So it's more of a warning I guess?" She grinned, wide and bright and so carefree it tugged sharply at your heart.
You placed another stack on the cart, fiddling with the order. If you kept yourself busy you could stop thinking about him. You could shove each memory and shared moment of bliss to the back of your mind. This was your chance to find a small semblance of normalcy after so much damage, a change in the rapidly shifting path of your life. You used to enjoy shelving pieces of history—find contentment in the familiar pattern of routine.
Now his eyes haunted your mind. His touch was a ghost along the back of your neck. His smile was reflected to you in the face of his daughter—the crinkles around her eyes an exact copy of his.
You were doomed to repeat history, destined to break as Fortuna did with a shattered heart and the hope that one day he might come home and find you. He'd open the apartment door set in place by his calloused hands and find you right where he left you—waiting as time stopped and dust gathered and your heart called for a man lost in time.
"I've got to shelve these," you said, voice thick with unshed tears you swallowed down. "But feel free to pick a book okay?"
She nodded, dragging a small journal out of her pack—a chewed up pen with it. "Wade gave me your lunch."
"I'll come find you in an hour?"
"I'm not going anywhere." The words were said more for your benefit than hers—a way to appease the constant flicker of unease in your mind. Perhaps this is what she lived with her whole life. The pain of yearning for someone to come back to her, to stay.
You'd be that person.
You would stay.
Smiling one last time, you pushed the cart into a row sparse with books—the light clicking on above your head as your footsteps echoed off the wooden floor. Your boss texted you quick instructions before she took the upstairs shift, the piles left behind for you to sort through. It seemed that classes were back in session, each book taken out regarding some form of historical information on New York.
Your eyes caught the titles while you worked. Sliding books into their proper spot and discarding the paper slotted in as a placeholder. It became a mindless task. A job of familiarity that your muscles immediately recognized—your arms moving of their own volition. Giving free reign to your mind that turned over information at a rapid rate.
What happens now? What would life turn into?
Now that you were back in a place that held so much of your soul you found that fitting back into the mold felt wrong. You were a human who got caught up in the affairs of mutants. It had happened before to others like you, it would certainly happen again. Yet you weren't sure you could handle the pain of being tossed into the ring with no means of protection again.
Your heart barely survived the first time.
To do it again would mean signing your name along death's dotted line. Only this time the pact would be sealed with your own blood.
A tilted stack of books slid onto their sides, grabbing hold of your attention quicker than expected. You slammed a hand against them with the hopes of saving yourself from extra work. Only for the one in your other hand to slip, hitting the cart with a thud and shoving it a foot away. Your mind went into overdrive—the noise of metal clanging against the tall shelves reverting into the all too familiar crack of a whip.
You gasped, leaping back as if the pile burned right down to your bone—the books toppling to the ground in rapid succession. A domino effect that would leave you crouching for a good twenty minutes to put everything back in its rightful spot.
"No," you exclaimed, your voice unwavering amidst the anxiety that filled your stomach.
Something ripped at the base of your spine, crackling through your body like a livewire. It pulled at every nerve, every tendon and muscle, until you were positive this was more than an overwhelming amount of stress. Your vision went black, a glare of light flashing behind closed eyelids, as the world went still and time rolled to a deathly halt.
Blue washed off your stiff form in rolling waves, curling around your stretched arms and down to the fingers that nearly curled around a book held in midair. A rush of cold air flooded your lungs, expanding them in your chest with a strength you'd never experienced before. As if the missing piece within your DNA finally settled into place—a spot always meant to hold something else.
A power that flared to life with a burning wave of heat.
It welcomed you like a long lost friend. Burrowed into the broken parts of your chest with a promise to put you back together. Time trickled by as your heart started up again—beating slowly against your ribs. Surging past each part of you that intertwined with this newfound link.
You sucked in another breath, eyes fluttering open with a flash of cerulean to see Laura struggling along the bookcase. Her face screwed up in pain, claws buried in the wooden shelves to drag herself forward. She moved an inch at a time, her cry unable to fill the vacant air as she struggled to rip you from the power that fractured your mind.
Such an inconceivable topic: time. Centuries prickled across your skin, millenniums made a home along each bone that grinded to a stop, decades offered you a life that might have ended at the age of eighty.
Infinity. Immortality. An end that rivaled Death.
Oh...what bliss.
"Yes," you relented. An answer to the question that would never be said aloud.
Another pulse of energy flowed off your shoulders, spilling across empty shelves—rattling the boxes that began to topple to the floor. If you weren't careful you'd bring destruction to a building that became your second home. But the consciousness you relied on was suddenly nowhere to be found.
"Stop!" Laura's voice struck you across the face, punching into your chest with enough blistering pain to wake up your mind to what was happening within you.
Slamming your hands against the shelves that stood on either side of you, the light of blue sputtered out, dying quick enough for you to get a hold of your body. Time fell back into place, the books you nearly dropped crashed to the floor with a loud clatter of thuds, and you collapsed. Your knees hit the floor harshly, pain coursing up your legs. Yet you could barely keep your eyes open.
"Laura," you wheezed, body sagging against the shelf.
She collapsed beside you, gathering your hands into a vice-like hold. "What happened? What the fuck was that?"
"Fortuna..."
"Is she alive? Is she here?" Her head raised, eyes scanning the vacant area for signs of your variant self.
"She–" Your vision swirled with spots of black, your head fuzzy with the prick of power that wanted to consume you. "I–"
"We gotta get you home," she muttered, shifting her strength to lift you to your feet—body braced heavily on her as she walked. "I'm calling a cab. Stay with me okay? Just stay awake."
The distant ring of her phone echoed in the background as she dragged you with her, a familiar muffled voice coming through the small speaker. Wade. You wanted to speak to him. Ask him what just happened. But only one person would hold the answers—only one person would make you feel alive again. You sucked in a shaky breath, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. The image of him—his smile, his love—filling your broken mind.
"I'm taking her home," Laura muttered into the line.
Her voice became a buzz in your ears. Sharp and unrelenting and inescapable. Your vision went dark, mind succumbing to the painful twisting of your gut—the need to be anywhere else overtaking every other thought. Laura called your name, shook your shoulders, but the world faded away before you could reach out and grasp it; your body sinking beneath the depths, drowning in the soothing waves of time.
“How did you sleep?”
“No nightmares.”
“Are you lying to me Howlett?”
“I’m not lying,” he confessed. “I didn’t really dream of anythin’ this time around.”
Your own laughter pricked at your ears. “Don’t tell me. It was because of me.”
“I think it might be bub.” His touch ghosted across your skin—breath a wash of hot air against your skin. “Guess you’re my cure. Been lookin’ for awhile.”
"Logan," you murmured, eyes fluttering open.
His smile lit up the darkness in your chest—eyes crinkled and lips parted in a sigh of love. "Yeah bub?"
"Y-You're here..."
A hand curled around the back of your neck, drawing you in close enough to make the steady beat of your heart flutter. "Where else would I be honey? I woke up with ya."
"But you've been gone." Your brows furrowed, the haze in your thoughts blocking anything other than him. "I was with Laura–"
He stilled. "Laura?"
"She was helping me," you mumbled, attempting to force your eyes to stay open. "At the library."
"You're just dreamin'," he chuckled.
"But I'm not–"
Lips that haunted you in your sleep brushed across the bridge of your nose—his fingers scratching at the base of your scalp with a hum. "You haven't met her yet honey. How could you be with her at the library?"
You wrenched your eyes open, clutching at the covers that lay over your bodies in an iron grip. "Fortuna–"
Logan's body went still, his head rearing back to stare at you in abject horror. "How do you know her name?" he rasped. "I never told you..."
"What are you talking about?" The buzzing filled each sense, each part of your already numb body. "Wait. No. I need more time," you begged, tears rushing to the surface.
His face blurred, your name a distant call on the tip of his tongue as the waves crashed over your body. Dragging you back to a shore meant for you. Darkness swallowed you whole in an instant. Until you could barely catch your breath—the speed of time rushing to a quick stop. Within the hold of darkness, the drifting peace of nothingness, you heard it.
The vibrant sapphire call of a woman you believed to be the enemy.
“Do better than me."
"Love him the way I couldn't.
You gasped, thrashing against the vice hold that wrenched you apart. The voice whispered soothingly in your ear, a warm compression against a heart that longed for more than this unfathomable excruciating ache.
She drew you to your feet, hands clasped around your wrists, and helped you stagger to the ocean's edge. She faced you with a mirrored smile that faded weeks ago—her eyes bright and flickering with peace.
"Do what I couldn't." Thumbs pressed into the base of your wrist. "Protect them. All of them."
A thick sob ripped from your chest—eyes blurry with tears that refused to stop. "How? I-I shouldn't be this."
"It was always meant to be you. Not me."
"W-What?"
"When Death asks for your hand. Take it. She will lead you home." The scathing brightness of sunlight burned your closed eyelids, pushing you towards something familiar. A place you knew would protect you. "Until then. Show them that time was never the enemy. We're simply their companion."
"Fortuna!" you cried, the form of her slowly dissipating back into the realm of darkness not yet meant for you. "I can't do this! I'm not supposed to be this!"
"Tell him I'm sorry."
Hands grasped at your shoulders. The cold press of metal against the bare skin of your arms jolted you awake—lungs expanding with air that felt like home. The floral scent of your laundry soap filled your nose, the warmth of your bed dragged along your body, and the brush of hair on your neck drew you back to the present. Your eyes fluttered open, chest heaving for any amount of air you could draw in.
"Laura?"
She sighed, dropping the hold she had on your shoulders. "You did it again."
"Did it again?"
"Looks like someone got jealous of all these special powers around her," Wade teased from the doorway of your room—a glass of water in his hand.
"What?" you croaked, suddenly aware of how raw your throat was.
He huffed, settling on the side of your bed. "You've got a bad case of the McFlys. Traveling to and fro in the timeline. Don't think the big guy upstairs will like that very much."
"God?"
"Victor."
You choked. "Who?"
"Or maybe it's Loki," he huffed. "I get that show's timeline confused. Anyways up you go. Drink this. Nurse Wade's orders."
With reluctance you downed the glass of water, Laura's watchful gaze burning into your from the chair. They moved with hesitation brimming to the surface of their eyes—a glaze of uncertainty prominent in each shift of their bodies. They were scared. Whether it was due to what you were turning into or what you could become. You couldn't be certain at this time, but the fear still lingered in the air.
Thick and bitter and so unlike the two mutants who'd become your family in the past few weeks.
"What's happening to me?" you whispered, Wade's hand reaching for yours with a placating grin.
"I've got one guess and it's dredging up memories of that fucker Francis, but dormant mutant gene." The panic in your eyes had him reaching for your other hand. "Hey look at me angel okay? I know how to handle this."
You shook your head, that unsettling twist in your gut rising to the surface. "I'm not...No. That's not possible. I would have..." You hiccuped, oxygen becoming harder to reach for as his words began to settle along your skin. "I would have known," you whispered.
"I didn't." He drew you close enough for his nose to brush your forehead. "That little surprise landed in my lap like a bad case of chlamydia. It's rare, but it happens."
"Why me?" you uttered, unable to process anything other than Laura's sharp gaze."
He sighed. "We don't get to pick and choose. Something must have triggered it."
Fortuna's hold on your jaw, the rocks scattered along the dirt digging into your back. It all came back to you. Her final words bleeding with an act of sacrifice—a promise to gift you with the curse she was unable to handle. Do better than her. Protect them better than her. Wield the ebbing and flowing of time better than her.
She awoke a part of you that had yet to come to life. A dormant section of your DNA that might have forever gone unnoticed if her powers hadn't unlocked it. She gave you everything, dropped the burden on your shoulders, because she knew something you didn't at the time.
You had people—a family, a lover—to keep you stable.
You had the one thing she couldn't save.
"It was always meant to be you. Not me."
Laura sat up, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "It's time."
Wade glanced over his shoulder. "We don't know where he is Oliver."
She sneered, digging out the small phone from her vest pocket. "I do. I gave him the keys."
"Call who?" you rasped, barely able to process that you were back home somehow.
Until her eyes met yours and drew you back to the surface with a name that burned right through your heart. "Logan."
The sharp thwack of an axe against wood filled the still air. Mist clung to the area, settling over his shoulders with a wet layer of frigid condensation. He felt it weigh in his hair, sink into his flannel, and send a wave of cold familiarity through his body. A place he never thought could exist in a different universe somehow stood the test of time. The Logan that came before was somehow more like his variant self than expected.
He sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead—the split open skin of his palms healing over before he could get a glimpse of them. The axe remained lodged into a mangled tree stump. Slivers and pieces of all that he chopped scattered in the clearing. He'd have to pick them up eventually, but he chose to stick with the same motion.
A piece of muscle memory he'd grown used to.
The sun began its descent beneath the thicket of trees, nightfall coming once more to a home occupied by a single person. Merely him and the stack of unread books left behind by a man who shared his taste. He yanked the flannel off his body, tossing it to the chair on his small porch, setting another log into place with a breath.
"Fuck," he muttered, cracking his neck slightly.
A mug of cold coffee sat discarded on the small table he constructed two weeks ago. A means to an end. A way to keep his racing mind busy from the pain that echoed like a bad dream in his head. He'd forgone the whiskey bottles stored in the liquor cabinet, opting for the bitter tang of the wine you preferred with your dinner.
The image of your smile kept him awake most nights. The sound of your laughter playing on a loop like a scratched record he clung to. This was his salvation. Your memory, your joy. It kept him going on days where the horrors threatened to drag him beneath the surface of the Earth.
He dug his grave long before he met you. Whether or not he crawled into it relied on one simple fact.
Though he dragged you through hell—became the cause of so much suffering within your life—you still loved him. You were waiting for him to come home.
"Desperado," he hummed, yanking the axe out of the splintered wood. "Why don't you come to your senses."
Discarding the tool to the side, he gathered what wood might be needed for a small fire. It wouldn't have any effect on whether he stayed warm or not, but it would put him at ease after such a grueling task. Tomorrow he'd go back to work at the yard—his measly paycheck enough to keep him fed with meals cooked in solitude.
He tossed them beside his fireplace, wiping the dirt and mud from his hands with the damp flannel. Life shifted the second Laura handed him the keys to this house on the edge of nowhere. Back to a routine he once knew so well. To a life that once offered him the facade of peace. He might have deluded himself into thinking it would happen again—that he'd get the chance to breathe again.
But your memory clung to his soul. You refused to release him from the spell of your love.
Fortuna's memory remained at the back of his mind like a long lost friend—someone who once offered him a future filled to the brim with hope. And then there was you. His honey. His lover till death. You were the reason he kept himself breathing, the reason his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
You were his savior, guiding him through the grief with a warm smile and a kiss of life.
The shrill ring of his phone broke the haze of memories he found himself in. Dropping into the chair beside his bed, he unlaced his boots—yanking the device out of the drawer on his dresser. He rarely needed it anymore. The contact he had with the rest of the world now whittled down to the people he worked with and the cashier at the small market.
With a sigh, he flipped it open in the hopes it was Wade calling to finally bug him about returning. It wouldn't be unusual. Weeks went by sluggishly, dripping like honey from the jar as he attempted to fix the broken parts of his heart.
Leaving without saying goodbye is what hurt the most. His silent kiss pressed to your cold forehead, his lingering gaze that did what he could to burn your features into his mind. He wanted you with him. Here in this small home. He wanted to hear your laughter fill up the empty spaces, the warmth of your love shining in the air with a palpable physicality that stole his breath away.
Logan ached for you.
But you didn't deserve a man riddled with demons. Certainly not the version of himself that left you behind.
Laura's name flashing across the screen set that familiar unease back in his stomach. The terror that something happened again—something brought you pain when he wasn't there to protect you—filled the crevices of his heart. And with a shaky breath, he answered.
"Laura."
She interrupted him before empty pleasantries could rise to the surface. "You need to come home."
He swallowed thickly. "What happened?"
"I can't explain over the phone, but it's bad. She's not gonna cope without you here."
"What the fuck do you mean cope?" he bit out, his eyes flashing to the small framed image of you that sat proudly on his nightstand. "Is she hurt?"
"No."
He sucked in a breath, relief washing over his shoulders. "Is she okay?"
Laura hesitated. "She's...broken." The word struck him with a visceral anger—an emotion that nearly caught him off guard. "She needs you here Dad. Wade and I can only do so much and if I knew she was dormant I could have helped sooner."
Dormant.
He stiffened, fingers tightening around the phone hard enough for it to crack. "What do you mean by dormant?"
Laura sucked in a breath. "She's..." A beat of silence filled his chest with a fear he never knew could exist in this universe. "She's like us, Dad. She's like her."
Like her.
The world shifted on its axis as he sat there listening to Laura's shaky attempts to explain what occurred. How you needed him this time around. His heart rammed an unsteady beat in the confines of his chest. An echo that rang with a crippling hollow promise of loneliness. Only this time it didn't scream for him—it raged for the person he loved.
The person he left behind.
"Send her here," he said. And before his mind could comprehend the words spilling past his lips, he made a vow he failed to keep—a promise he'd fulfill until his final breath. "I'll keep her safe."
note: this is incredibly late than what i originally planned, but life has been chaotic. and to everyone in the us who are struggling, i hope you take care of yourself this week. we got this and i love you.
#logan howlett x f!reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett#my writing
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I Love You
Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 20 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU
Masterlist |
Y/N went for a walk at the Han River today it was so peaceful Hannie its like 9 in the morning? when did you even have time? Y/N I woke up early ^^ the sunrise was beautiful Hannie i cant believe you willingly woke up early 0.o Y/N I want to take you there someday. Just you and me, we can go for a walk by the han river. Hannie Just us? Y/N Hmmm. My two favorite Hans, all to myself Hannie Wait, two favorites? You should only have ONE favorite Han >:( Y/N You're absolutely right baby Hannie im your favorite Han, right? Y/N …. I love you? Hannie >:( (i love you too)
-0-0-
“Jagi, are you okay? You can take off your hat if you want.”
You paused from where you had pulled up your beanie to swipe hair from your forehead, the cold soft air of the cafe AC making the sweat on your body cool rapidly. Subsequently, it was causing your hair to stick.
The two of you had just sat down at a small cafe hidden away from the crowds. It was a cafe known for being discreet, the owners having long gotten used to both trainees and idols coming there. Jeongin had grabbed the booth all the way in the back.
And yet you still found yourself nervously pulling the hoodie lower. You were facing the glass windows and the large double doors, where anyone could walk by and see you. It made you feel exposed. It wasn't the first time you had been out with one of the boys, but ever since seeing a photo of you on social media, you found yourself wanting to lay low. It was hard to do that when Jeongin, bless his confident soul, was wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and a pair of fake glasses that suited him wonderfully, but did nothing to hide his beautiful face. No hat, no hoodie, and he had even taken off his mask.
You were a ball of nerves.
“I’m okay,” You told him.
He gave you an unconvinced look, which was fair considering you were doing a terrible job at hiding your feelings.
The waitress came over then, setting down the two cups you had ordered, as well as the cake Jeongin had ordered. You ducked your head until she had left.
Jeongin let out a soft hum. “Jagi. Open.”
He held out a fork with a bit of cake on it towards you. You accepted the bite with a pout, knowing he was trying to get you to open up, but the cake was so good you couldn't stop the way your eyes widened in surprise.
The more flavors that began to explode in your mouth, the more you were convinced this had to be the best cake you had ever tried.
Jeongin gave you a knowing look. “Good, huh?”
“Holy-” You covered your mouth since it was still filled with food, tempted to nearly moan at how good it was.
Guess those cheesy romance books weren't all fantasy.
He smiled, grabbing another bite and holding it out to you. You pushed it away with your free hand, the other one still covering your mouth as you swallowed.
“No, it's your cake!” you protested, even though deep down you really wanted to accept that bite.
“It doesn't matter,” he reminded you. “Even if you eat it, I'll still taste it.”
You couldn't help but laugh at that, and Jeongin laughed along with you. The noise came out loud, echoing across the room, and from the corner of your eyes you spotted two girls sitting at a table near the entrance looking up in your direction. Immediately, you felt the same worry and shame from before rising up. You couldn't help the flash of panic when Jeongin turned around, having spotted your face and wanting to see what was wrong.
You reached out to him. “Innie! You're not wearing your mask!” You hissed at him in warning.
He turned back to you with a bewildered look. “What?”
You glanced behind him. The two girls were looking down at their phones, seemingly uninterested in whatever was going on around them. They were either really good actresses, or they didn't seem to recognize the maknae. You slumped back in your seat with a frown.
“You can't just-” You gestured wildly. “-look without your mask. What if someone recognizes you?”
“Is that what has you so worried?” He said, looking far too amused.
“It’s a valid worry.”
“But why do you keep hiding your face?”
“In case someone does recognize you,” You told him, feeling like a solid ‘duh' would fit well at the end. You decided against it though. “I don't want to cause any more problems for you guys.”
Jeongin titled his head. “More? Jagi, you've been the opposite of a problem.”
“No, that’s not what I mean,” You try to explain. “Its just…”
You trailed off, realizing you were going to have to come clean about the photo you had seen. You had yet to mention it to any of the boys, and now that it had been nearly two weeks later, it felt like admitting to a secret. Jeongin leaned forward, his face squinted in that cute way of his that had him looking like a fox, but still cute nonetheless.
“What happened?”
And so you explained your nondate with Seungmin, how the two of you had stopped in the middle of the street, how you found the photo later on with little to no interactions, and the worry that there were people watching at all times. The worry that you would get caught.
The youngest member simply nodded, listening to you with no interruptions, until you were done. Then, he lifted up the fork with another bite of cake.
“Eat.”
“Innie-”
“Eat,” he stressed out, giving you a look.
You reluctantly took the bite offered with a pout, unable to deny how good the treat was. Given the look on his face, you were sure it was just as much for his satisfaction as it was for yours.
“I understand your worries, Jagi. I understand how stressful it is to think about being in the media eye, how paranoid it can make you feel.” You nodded at his words, well aware that if anyone could understand, it would definitely be him. Or any of the members. “But it’s also because I’ve been there that I know just how unnecessary that worry is.”
You frowned. “How can you say that? What happens if someone snaps a photo of us together?”
“Then it happens.” Just like that. Like it was a fact of life. You shook your head, even as Jeongin continued. “I’ve already accepted that something is going to come out eventually. Im actually expecting it.” He offered you another bite. “So is Chan-hyung, and Minho-hyung, and the other members, and the manager, and probably the CEO.”
“That doesn't exactly make me feel better,” You pointed out. He gave you a look and wiggled his hand, so you let out a sigh, taking the bite of cake.
“You can sit here and worry about when that moment is going to happen, or you can just enjoy your life and accept that it will happen eventually. I’m not saying you should go around telling everyone your dating Stray Kids, or to stop being aware of your surroundings, but maybe don’t let it eat you up inside, okay?”
You blinked at him, eyes a little watery. “When did you get so wise, Iyen-ah?”
He smiled, eyes squinting and nose scrunching. You leaned forward and, faces now inches apart, placed your hand over his.
“I love you.”
He blinked slowly, still smiling, but softer now. And then he leaned back, flipping his hand to grab your wrist.
“I love you too. Now come here.”
He tugged you towards him, but he had to actually let you go for you to make your way to the other side of the booth. You sat down next to him.
“It’s not like you to want so much skinship,” You pointed out, nudging your shoulder against his.
He shrugged. “If your so worried about being spotted, I figured it would be easier if nobody could see you.”
Your mouth slipped open in surprise, and you couldn’t help but lean against him. “Innie, that’s … thank you.”
“You're welcome. Now finish the cake.”
-0-0-
Comeback promotions started up so quickly you didn’t get much warning. It was half group dinners, then just two or three, and eventually you were getting messages telling you that they would be getting back late and that you shouldn't wait up. The boys all made efforts to check in with you throughout the day, or to exclusively talk in the group chat so you wouldn't feel left out, but suddenly having so much free time to yourself made you feel like something was missing.
Even schoolwork couldn't hide the loneliness. You still got breakfast with the boys, even if it was rushed, and the occasional half day surprise when someone's schedule was clear, but the one person who seemingly disappeared for an entire week was Chan.
A good morning text was all you got for those 7 days. The others reassured you he was fine and just busy, but Felix was quick to warn you that the leader was taking naps before performances, cluing in to his lack of sleep.
On the 8th day, or maybe it was the 9th due to how late it was, you were woken up to the clicking sound of your door unlocking. You lifted your head, only taking in the blurry figure at the door as they shuffled in, trying to be quiet, before dropping your head back down with a huff. Soft footsteps drew closer, your eyes too heavy to open, and then a hand was brushing down your cheek.
You let out a noise of confusion when the covers lifted.
“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” Chan whispered, placing a kiss on your wrist as he settled in next to you.
You found yourself hovering somewhere near sleep and wake, mind still kind of aware but somewhat dreaming. You thought about the man next to you fondly, the effort he made to be with you even during his busy schedule.
“I love you,” you whispered, falling into a deep sleep.
Chan was gone by the time you woke up.
As you got ready, you found yourself wondering if you had actually said the words out loud, or if it had just been in your head. But then you got a message.
Chan Good morning love <3 Hope you have an amazing day PS. I love you too
-0-0-
Their busy schedules seem to clear up almost as quickly as they came. Although the boys still had plenty of activities scheduled both as a group and as individuals, group dinners were once again on the table. It only takes another week before you have all 8 of your boys together at the same time, their laughs and voices getting loud enough you were worried they would get a noise complaint. Even then, you didn't have the heart to quiet them.
It was during this time together, once they had settled in on the couches and began winding down, that you sprung your surprise on them.
“Sooo,” You drawled. “I have an announcement to make.” Jisung and Hyunjin both gave you panicked looks, and you raised your hands to wave away their worries. “I'm not breaking up with you, don't worry.”
“You couldn't get rid of us that easily,” Minho replied nonchalantly.
“I just wanted to let you guys know that I got a job offer.”
There was a chorus of congratulations and smiles from the boys, but only Chan seemed to realize there was still more to be said. Probably because he could still feel your anxiety.
“It's in New York.” The boys were uncharacteristically silent, so you continued. “It's only an offer, I still have to apply and there's no guarantee that I'll even get it. Honestly, I'm debating whether or not I even want to apply.”
“Okay,” Felix started, leaning forward on his knees. “Why are you bringing this up?”
“It just had me thinking, you know, about us. This,” You said, gesturing at the group. “And how its going to work. You know, long-term.”
“Long-term?” Changbin asked, repeating the english words with his thick accent. Chan translated, and the boys all nodded in understanding.
“Don’t you-” Jisung cut himself off, forehead pinching as he frowned. “I thought you being here was the long-term plan.”
“For now, yes. I still have a year or two until I get my degree, and I can continue to do that long distance for now. But then what? Eventually I will have to get a job, find my own place. Will we do that together? You guys obviously have Stray Kids, and it doesn't look like you plan on changing that anytime soon, so obviously you all are going to be together for a while…” You found yourself trailing off at the dejected look on Chan's face.
“Do you … not feel like you're a part of that goal?” He asked you. He gave a quick look to the other boys and switched to english. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to make decisions for our sake. You may be our soulmate, but you have every right to want to travel or move to other places, to get a job, to be … independent from us, if that’s what you want.”
You opened your mouth to protest, but he lifted a hand, and you pressed your lips together. He continued in Korean. “I just want you to know that I-“ Felix cleared his throat. “-WE have never, ever, thought of excluding you from our future plans. If we end up making any decisions as a group, you are 100 percent included in that decision.”
“You’re a Stray now, whether you like it or not,” Seungmin told you, reaching out to pull your hand away from where it had been pulling on a loose thread in your sleeve.
You let out a laugh, eyes watering even as you tried to blink the tears away. “You offering me a place in the group?”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re part of the group or not. You’re a part of us,” Changbin muttered.
At the same time, Jisung perked up. “Do you know how to rap?!”
“We’re not adding her to the group,” Chan said with a smile. “I already have to deal with you guys.”
“Fine, we’ll make our own group,” Jisung continued nonchalantly, giving you a wink.
“The gremlin club?” Seungmin offered.
You couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter at that, slapping the singer next to you as you suddenly remembered something. “Wait! You never did give me back my hoodie!”
Jisung was quickly getting to his feet. “Actually, I think I have somewhere to be-“
“No, no, no! Get back here, you little shit!”
“Hyung, help!”
“Give me back my hoodie!”
-0-0-
Even with the boys’ great efforts to lift your mood, you still found yourself thinking about your future more and more. You also found yourself missing them, even when you had the opportunity to see them every day, to the point you were worried you would come off as clingy. Even though they didn’t have such busy schedules anymore, there was one particular Wednesday afternoon when the boys seemed to be hit with a wave of inspiration, rushing off to the studio to get their ideas down before it left.
You happily spent the morning with Hyunjin until he had to meet up with a friend. A quick lunch with the others was just as chaotic as you expected, and Minho only gave you a knowing look when you asked him if he would mind making 3 extra servings. In return, you didn’t mention the fact that Jisung’s bag had a little note added in.
Despite having only been to the company building a handful of times, the security downstairs didn’t even look twice at your ID before waving you in, and since you knew exactly where you were going, it was only a few minutes before you were knocking on the familiar studio door.
Three faces lit up as you poked your head into the room.
“Hey.” You walked in, seeing they weren’t in the middle of recording.
Changbin was quick to stand up and help you with the bags you were holding, peeking in and smiling as he realized you had brought food.
“Yah! Thank you so much, babe.”
“You brought food?”
Chan and Jisung both thanked you as you handed them their respective containers, and you sat down on the couch with a smile as you watched them talk about how good it looked. Changbin, instead of returning to his own seat, settled in next to you.
“It really does look good,” Changbin muttered, opening up the top of the container. “Wah!”
“Minho put in a lot of effort to make it look good.”
“He left me a note,” Jisung pointed out, smiling down at his little present.
Chan looked through his own bag. “I didn’t get a note.”
He pouted, and Jisung seemed to get even happier at the news. The boys began to eat their food, starting an easy conversation about a new show that you had started watching. When you brought up their music, Chan offered to let you hear what they had so far, and you quickly agreed. He began to get the track set up as you cleaned up the containers.
“Okay, this is an idea we’ve been working on,” He told you, and the room grew quiet as he played the track.
You bopped your head to the rhythm. The song was simple, but rhythmic. The track itself was just the instrumental, but from next to you, Changbin seemed to be muttering to himself potential lyrics. He had his phone out and everything.
“This is the best part,” Jisung said, slapping Chan’s shoulder from where the two sat next to each other.
And the song began to rise into what you could recognize as a beat drop. You smiled as the two producers suddenly headbanged together as the song went crazy, a sick beat echoing around the room as their heads continued to bop in unison. It was a really good song from what you could hear, the kind that made you want to get up and start dancing.
“Aaand that’s all we go so far,” Chan said as he paused the track, spinning around to face you. “We were just about to start working on some lyrics. You want to stick around and help?
“Can I?” You wondered.
“Of course!”
Jisung let out a clap. “Great! I have some ideas we can work on, and I think Changbin’s working on some of his own, so we can pull them together and work something out.”
Said man was still looking down at his phone. You nudged him gently. “Bin?”
Chan laughed. “Give him a moment. He tends to get too into whatever’s he’s doing.”
“Hopefully it’s better than what he came up with earlier,” Jisung said, smiling at you. “He wrote this cute little verse about how much he loves bulgogi. It was funny.”
You couldn’t help but giggle at the thought. Changbin was silent for a few more seconds, but he eventually lifted his head up nonchalantly only to freeze at the sight of everyone staring at him. “What?”
Chan and Jisung laughed, and the rapper seemed to realize he had missed something. He gave an embarrassed smile, turning to you for an explanation since the other two were still laughing.
“So, I hear you wrote some really deep lyrics about bulgogi.”
Changbin let out a groan, and you couldn’t help but laugh. He tried to say something, but the three of you were still laughing, and he shook his head. You didn’t even fight him when he wrapped his arms around you, trying to tickle you from the side. You jerked as he hit the ticklish parts of your side, laughing jumping up an octave into a scream. Changbin started to laugh along with you.
“Okay, okay!” You wiggled in his hold. “I’m sorry!”
“I get no respect from you guys,” he complained, no longer tickling you, put still keeping his arms wrapped around you.
“Oh, I’m sorry sweetie. Do you want some bulgogi?”
“Yah!”
Chan and Jisung were still laughing, having been spurred on by your comments, and Changbin pulled you into his lap to rest his chin on your shoulder. You cooed at him as he pretended to pout. When he went to lean back against the couch, he pulled you down on top of him, your body relaxing against his as you both sighed in comfort, choosing to ignore the other two boys as they finally began to calm down.
There was a moment of peace, where it was just you and your soulmates, your body humming contently. And then it all came screeching to a halt as the door opened.
You didn’t recognize the woman who walked in, only taking in the surprise that flashed across her face as she took you in for less than a second before you were slipping off your boyfriend’s lap, face suddenly feeling hot. The sudden pounding in your chest only seemed to get worse as the surprise slipped into a cold icy disgust, the older woman crossing her arms.
“Seo Changbin. You should know better,” She chastised him like she was his mother. “Being so provocative where anyone could walk in. You should save that kind of behavior for when you are alone.”
You frowned, sharing a look with Jisung. Weren’t you technically alone before she … walked in? Without knocking? To a private studio in a private building?
He returned your confusion with his own furrowed brows.
“It’s not like that, Noona,” Chan defended. “Besides, nobody really comes in here that often anyways.“
She gave him a sharp look. “Anyone in this building can walk into this room. You should have at least locked the door.”
“We weren’t doing anything-“ You tried to argue.
“While I am happy that you boys have found your soulmate, this isn’t information that many are privy too. You’ll do well to be careful even when in the company building,” She interrupted, handing Chan a few papers. “The stylists want to check your measurements tomorrow, and you need to film a promotional video on TikTok by the end of the week.”
And with one last side eye in your direction, the woman left. You didn’t even get to say goodbye before she was breezing out of the room, heels clicking across the floor.
You were the first one to break the silence. “Well, she seemed nice.”
“She’s just looking out for us,” Chan said, flipping through the papers with a sigh. “Man, they moved the filming schedule up to Friday. Who schedules filming on a Friday?”
“At least we get Monday free,” Jisung offered, looking over Chan’s shoulder.
Changbin nudged you as he moved in closer, his arm going around your shoulder to pull you in close, but you froze at his touch. He noticed your discomfort immediately, backing off enough that he could get a good look at your face. He gave you a reassuring smile.
“Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. Just a little embarrassing,” You admitted. “I feel like I just got scolded by my mom.”
He let out a huff. “Don’t let her get to you. Doyeon-noona is just a little stricter with us than the other staff.”
“I know. I can’t blame her for that, I … I just don’t like the idea that I have to be careful with you guys in your own studio,” You admitted. The other two seemed to pick up on your conversation, their own ramblings quieting as they turned to listen. “I know we talked about this before, and I already know how you guys feel about this, but I just … I don’t know. I wish things weren’t so complicated.”
“Like you said, you already know how I feel.” Letting his fingers intertwine with yours, Changbin pulled your hand up to place a soft kiss to the back. “But I get it. Nobody wants to feel like they can’t be themselves with the people they love.”
“People they love, huh?” As if you had sucked all the confidence right out of his body, Changbin began to splutter.
You smiled. “I love you too.”
-0-0-
You settled into a nice routine, which often included messaging the group chat to see if any of the boys were home or available every morning. This particular day, you found yourself heading up to the maknae’s dorm in search of Seungmin, who promised you he had a few hours to watch a movie with you. It wasn’t until you got there that you realized he wasn’t the only one there.
Hyunjin was in the kitchen when you arrived. You didn’t realize until you were walking down the hall and passed by the doorway, freezing your body when you caught sight of the dancer as if you had just been caught sneaking out. He also froze, a cup halfway up to his mouth, blinking at you in confusion.
“What are you doing here?”
“Gunna watch a movie with Seungmin. What are you doing here?”
He looked down at his cup. “… nothing.”
“Is that Minho’s special tea?”
“Please don’t tell him,” Hyunjin pleaded, dropping the cup to the counter with a loud clack. “He’ll kill me.”
“Fine. But only if you make me a cup.”
“Deal.”
Seungmin showed up a few minutes later when you didn’t answer his text, taking in the two of you and the guilty looks you sported.
He smirked. “Hyung’s tea? Really?”
“Don’t tell him,” You pleaded. “He’ll kill us.”
With a smile that sent shivers up your spine, the young singer reached for his phone. You let out a laugh as you lunged for him, trying to block his sight, and he playfully grabbed you with one arm, using the other to hold his phone away from your reach. Seungmin was surprisingly strong, and you found yourself unable to do anything as the photo app was pulled up.
“Hyunjin, help!”
Things quickly went to chaos after that. The two of you managed to get the phone out of Seungmin’s hands, but Hyunjin wasn’t expecting the other boy to tackle him against the counter, both of them laughing and screaming as they wrestled for the phone. You tried to grab it out of their hands yourself, but you miscalculated.
Your socks slipped against the floor, and with a yelp, you reached out to grab onto the boys for stability. Hyunjin was pulled to the ground by Seungmin, his arms flailing as he went down. You hit the side of the counter just as one of the cups of tea was flung in your direction, and you let out a shout as hot liquid hit your chest, neck, and the left side of your face.
“Shit!” You swiped your hand across your face, and the other two grew quiet as they realized what had happened.
“Fuck, are you okay?” Seungmin was the first to react, pulling you towards the sink. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” You assured him, letting him use a wet towel to wipe away the liquid from your skin. While the tea had been hot and definitely uncomfortable, it wasn’t hot enough to cause any burns. “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure? It didn’t burn you?” Hyunjin pressed his fingers to the skin, but immediately pulled away when he realized he was leaving marks. “It looks red.”
“It’s fine. It wasn’t hot enough for that. Really.”
“Aish. You should have been more careful,” Seungmin muttered, gently pulling at the collar of your shirt to wipe at your collarbones and shoulder.
You gaped at him. “Me?! You were the one who spilled the tea!”
“Actually, I think that was me,” Hyunjin admitted with a grimace, rubbing his hand.
You pulled at your shirt. “Ugh, I need a shower. Why is it sticky?”
Hyunjin let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and it took you a second to realize why. You slapped him on the arm. Seungmin rolled his eyes at his team member, throwing the wet towel at the dancer’s face, and gently guiding you down the hall.
“Clean up the mess!” He yelled to Hyunjin, turning to you with softer eyes. “You can use my shower.”
You didn’t take a long shower, not even washing your hair since you were just rinsing the tea off. Seungmin had offered you one of his shirts to wear while yours went through the laundry, so you stopped by the laundry room to load up some clothes (you figured you might as well wash the rest of the dirty laundry at the same time) and emerged into the living room to spot both boys now calmly sitting on the couch. The tv show you had been planning to watch was loaded up on the screen, and Seungmin looked up when you entered.
“Better?”
“Yeah. Thank you,” You told him, motioning to the shirt he had lent you.
Seungmin looked you up and down in a way that had goosebumps breaking out along your skin. He looked back down to his phone nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about it.” You pretended not to see him smile down at his phone.
“Man, now I want you to wear my clothes,” Hyunjin whined from his spot on the couch.
You rolled your eyes, sitting down in between both of them. “Boys.”
“What! You look hot wearing out clothes.” He pouted. “Just wish it was my clothes.”
“Maybe next time.”
“Next time?” Seungmin said, looking up at you with his brows raised. From the other side, Hyunjin perked his head up like a puppy who just hear the word ‘treats’ being mentioned.
You rolled you eyes. “You know what I mean.”
Even as the show started up and you settled back to get comfy, you couldn’t help but notice Hyunjin’s pout from the corner of your eye. He only pouted harder when you turned towards him, making a point to look as dejected as possible, curling up on his side of the couch by himself. You let out a sigh, and he peeked at you with a hopeful look.
You sat up straight. “Wow. It’s really cold in here.”
“Do you want me to turn the AC down?” Seungmin offered, already reaching for the remote.
You slapped his shoulder gently, now exaggerating your voice at him. “I could really use a sweater!”
He snorted, settling back down once he realized what you were up to. It took Hyunjin a few seconds, but the dancer finally caught on once you both turned to him with expectant looks, his entire face lighting up like a Christmas tree.
“Oh!” He grabbed the ends of his sweater, struggling to get it off. “I got it! Wait- hold one .. Ash.”
He almost threw the thing across the room when he finally got it off, hair sticking up from the static electricity. Seungmin let out a cackle of laughter.
Hyunjin didn’t even seem bothered as he offered you his sweater. “Here.”
Now wrapped up in clothes from both boys, you were finally able to settle down to watch the show in peace. You didn’t want to admit it to them, but you actually did enjoy wearing their clothes. You found yourself pulling the ends of Hyunjin’s sweater past your hands, pressing the fabric to your nose and softly inhaling the scent that was a mix of laundry detergent and just … him. You smiled softly.
Halfway through the show, Seungmin reached out and grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face and into his lap. Without even having to be asked, you reached out with your other hand and grabbed Hyunjin’s hand so that the three of you were connected. The soundtrack picked up, a beautiful melody that had you feeling sentimental.
“I love you guys,” You whispered.
Seungmin’s lips twitched up, and Hyunjin squeezed your hand.
“I love you more,” the dancer said, leaning his body against you.
Seungmin side eyed him. “No.”
“Eh?”
He pulled you away from the older boy, pulling you half into his lap and wrapping his arms around you, effectively blocking you from Hyunjin with his own body. Said member gaped at the change in seating.
“Yah, puppy. Give them back.”
“No.”
“You little-“
The show was practically forgotten as you were suddenly caught up in another wrestling match. Thankfully, this time, nobody got anything spilled on them, although Hyunjin did once again end up on the ground with Seungmin sitting on top of him by the time the show ended. It was only then that he shot you a bashful smile, swiping his hair out of his eyes.
“I love you more.”
“No, I-!”
You surged forward, nearly tackling the singer to the ground, but he managed to catch himself on his elbows as you pressed your lips to his. While he wasn’t the one being actively silenced, Hyunjin let out a wheeze that clued you in to exactly why he had suddenly gone quiet, and you quickly lifted yourself up to check up on him. At your questioning, he gave you a weak thumbs up, curled up in a fetal position.
“Oh, I’m so sorry sweetheart.”
He would later tell you that the kiss you gave him more than made up for the pain.
-0-0-
The first time you ever ventured your way to a new part of the company building was on a very special day. At least, it was to you. It just so happened that the first person who answered your text was Felix, letting you know he was in one of the practice rooms waiting for the other members to show up for their practice. Granted, he also let you know he was half an hour early and was just goofing around while he waited, so you figured since you wanted to see the other boys as well, you might as well wait around with him. The dancer met you out in the hall, and you couldn’t help but run towards him the moment you saw him, jumping into his arms.
Felix almost didn’t catch you.
“Whoa, you’re in a good mood,” He said, pulling you into a warm hug.
You pulled away with a fake frown. “Don’t tell me you didn’t remember.”
He froze. “Oh no. Did I forget something?”
At his genuinely distressed look, you took pity on him, letting out a giggle and cluing Felix in that the situation was not that serious.
“Its okay, it’s not that big a deal,” You assured him, biting your lip. “It’s just … it’s officially been 6 months since we’ve met.”
The blonde blinked. “Oh, really? Wait, it’s already been 6 months?!”
“Half a year! Happy anniversary,” You joked.
He let out a laugh, pulling you back in.
“Happy anniversary.” He buried his face into your shoulder. “I’m so glad Innie found you.”
“Hey! I found him,” You corrected, brushing hair behind his ear. “I found all of you.”
“Hmm, you did.”
You shivered as he pressed a soft kiss to the crook of your neck, pushing him away by his shoulders with a quick look around the hallway. Thankfully, there dind’t seem to be anyone around, You gently hit him on the chest in warning.
“Careful. I’m already in the shit list of one of your managers, I don’t need to be lectured by another.”
“It’s fine. The only people who use these rooms are artists, and half of them are also in secret relationships. They won’t care.”
“That’s not the poINT!”
The end of your sentence was cut off into a squeal as Felix spun you around with a chuckle, lifting you off your feet with his hands on your thighs, pulling you in close to him until your bodies were flush. The sudden change of balance had him stumbling forward, your body hitting the wall a little too hard, and he let out a soft curse.
“Sorry.”
You giggled. “It’s okay. What has gotten into you?”
“I love you,” He said, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.
“What?”
“I-“ another kiss to your lips. “Love-“ a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You.”
He blew a raspberry to your cheeks, and you let out a laugh, kicking your legs in glee. You wrapped your arms around his neck, soft hair tickling the tips of your fingers as you laced them together, head tilting to the side as you took in the man in front of you.
“God, you’re beautiful,” You sighed, giving him a smile.
His eyes lit up like you had just told him the meaning of life. “Yeah?”
You nodded your head, licking your lips. “Yeah. I love you so much.”
“Good. Because I don’t plan on ever letting you go.”
-0-0-
Dad Hey. Just checking in on you. How’s school going? I hope you’re having fun. Y/N School’s fine, same as always. Been seeing all kinds of places. Went hiking with two of my soulmates the other day It was … fun. Dad I thought you liked hiking? Y/N The hiking was fine. Waking up at 5 in the morning was not. Dad Wow. They managed to get you up before 9? That’s a miracle. You must really love them. Y/N They wanted to see the sunrise. I have to admit, it was worth it. [IMG.JPG] Dad Looks beautiful. I’m glad you’re doing okay. Y/N What about you? Everything all right back home? Dad Everything’s fine. You know how your mom is. She misses you. Y/N I miss you guys too. I gtg. Love you. Dad Love you more.
-0-0-
“Here, try this.”
You looked up, startling back at the sudden appearance of a spoon in front of your face. Minho held a hand under the spoon to prevent the substance from falling, and you smiled at his thoughtfulness. You really shouldn’t have been surprised to get a spoonful of soy sauce.
“Oh, ew. That’s gross.”
Minho giggled, shirking away from the hit you aimed at his shoulder. “That’s for drinking my tea.”
“Who snitched! Was it Seungmin? I swear to god, I’m gunna kill him.”
Minho just laughed as he made his way back to the kitchen where he was preparing actual food for dinner. Deciding to take a break from your work, you stretched in your seat and let out a groan. The dorm was uncharacteristically quiet considering that at least 5 members were home.
Minho was, as previously mentioned, cooking dinner in the kitchen. Felix and Seungmin were playing a game in the elder’s room, and you were pretty sure Hyunjin was taking a nap in Jeongin’s room. You weren’t sure if the youngest was with the gaming boys or taking a nap with Hyunjin, but you were sure he was home. 3Racha had just sent a text that they were leaving the studio.
You sneaked into the kitchen, making sure Minho wasn’t currently doing anything at the stove before you wrapped your arms around him, effectively trapping his arms to his body. He paused from where he had been chopping, letting out a soft sigh.
“Gotcha,” You murmured, pressing your forehead against his back.
It wasn’t hard for him to slip an arm out of your grasp, turning around so that he could pull you into his chest. You went along willingly, letting his warmth embrace you. The two of you stayed there for a few seconds, softly breathing against each other, the kitchen filling up with the delicious aroma of whatever was starting to boil on the stove. It was only because you didn’t want the food to burn that you let him go.
“Hey, can you play some music?” He asked you.
“Sure.”
You randomized your playlist, not even embarrassed when it was a Stray Kids song that came up first. Minho smiled to himself, giving you a side glance, but you just bopped your head along and attempted the dance to the best of your abilities, even though you were sure you looked like a wiggling worm who suddenly gained a pair of legs. You were either doing better or worse than you thought because Minho actually stopped stirring to stare at you.
Suddenly you were embarrassed.
“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” He told you, turning back around.
“Somehow that doesn’t give me much confidence,” You joked.
“Pass me the carrots?”
You grabbed the recently hopped carrots, leaning up against the counter as you watched him pour them into the soup. This time, when he offered you up a spoonful, you could actually trust it wasn’t going to be a prank.
It tasted amazing. You had never expected anything less.
“Good?”
“Hmm.” You licked your lips with a nod, and his eyes darted down. You couldn’t help but smile. “Hungry?”
“Watch it,” He warned you, turning the stove off with a flick of his wrist.
“Or what?”
You pouted when all you got in turn was a tap to your nose, your playlist switching to a slower ballad. The pout disappeared as Minho grabbed one of your hands, the other pressing up against your waist and swaying you side to side. When he pulled you back and began to spin the two of you around the room, you laughed.
“You are so cheesy,” You breathed, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
“And you’re a terrible dancer.”
You weren’t sure if he kissed you as an apology, or to keep you from complaining, but you found yourself melting against him nonetheless. You didn’t usually kiss Minho often, usually getting pecks as a hello or a goodbye, but you appreciated the slow passionate way he was kissing you now. It wasn’t until the music began to change and his hands dropped yours in favor of pulling you closer by the back of your neck that you began to wonder if this was different somehow.
You eventually had to pull yourself away to breathe. “Wow.”
“If you want, I can teach you some moves,” He whispered, and you raised your brows.
“Dance moves?”
“If you want,” He said with a smirk.
He grabbed your hand when you tried to hit him on the chest, trapping your hand between the two of you. His thumb gently swiped across your knuckles, his head tilting as he took you in. You beamed up at him.
“You’re cute,” You told him, leaning up to try and kiss him again. He tried to hide his smile, looking away from you, but his red ears gave him away. “Is this your way of telling me you love me?”
He didn’t answer, just pulled you in for another kiss. It was only a soft chime echoing from your phone that pulled the two of you apart this time, Minho patting your ass.
“Go tell the kids dinner’s ready.”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you grabbed your phone. Your phone chimed again as you made your way down the hall, and you pulled up your messages. One text was from Jisung, letting you know that they were on their way up, but the other was from Sophie. You pulled up the chat the same time you knocked on Felix’s door.
“Dinner’s ready!” You called out to them.
Sophie. Oh my god, is this you!???
For a split second, you found yourself thinking about the photo you had seen of you and Seungmin together and wondered if she had somehow seen it.
The reality was much, much worse.
You nearly dropped your phone when you got to the images she had sent. They looked like photos taken from a security camera, which was already a shock to your system, but it was the content that had your back hitting the wall in shock.
One photo of what was clearly Felix. There was no denying that it was him. Your face was also visible in the photo, although a little grainier. The second photo, wearing the same clothing as the first photo and obviously in the same location, was a familiar scene. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pressed up against the wall, lips pressed together.
A million thoughts began to race through your head.
Sophie I can’t believe it! Why didn’t you tell me!? Girl, you are TRENDING!
There was a commotion from the entrance, and you could hear Chan calling out your name. Felix’s door opened, and he nearly ran into you. He was laughing, the youngest two yelling something at him about their game. He met your panicked eyes, and his smile immediately dropped.
Chan appeared at the end of the hall, looking as worried as you felt. “Are you okay?”
“What’s wrong?” Felix asked.
All your thoughts converged on one very simple word.
Fuck.
-0-0-
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No, actually. That is not an enemy. That is (likely)a severely un/misinformed person. I severely doubt that many people who voted for trump came from a place of hate. They just don't understand. They do not truly get who they voted for and what that means, because if they did truly understand what trump and his campaign plan to do with America, they would not have voted for him. People that vote for trump are fed lies and fiction that lead them to believe that trump will make their lives better regardless of the casualties (aka minorities losing hard earned rights). I am by no means saying that you should keep in contact with people like the "friend" above, but they are not the enemy. They are the byproduct of propaganda that tells them their neighbors and friends will harm them unless Cheeto Voldemort swoops in and strips them of basic human rights. Do you hear me? They are not the enemy. Talking about fellow Americans like that is exactly what trump is doing. It is not your responsibility to explain to your brother's friend Jeff that Kamala Harris isn't going to show up at his door and chop his dick off, but dividing people and turning them against each other is exactly the type of shit that Nazis did. We had a whole ass civil war about that type shit. It is crucial to surround yourself with people who support you and make you feel safe, but calling people evil for being uniformed will only add fuel to the fire we are desperately trying to put out. Still, I am not saying to just quietly accept that someone has harmful beliefs. I would recommend saying something like, "Hey, your choice to support trump essentially says to me that you don't mind it if my rights are taken away. I don't feel comfortable spending time with someone who thinks like that. Goodbye." Something that says 'I don't want to hang out with you if you obviously don't give a fuck about my wellbeing' in a way that doesn't give them a reason to hate whatever minority you may be a part of. It is important that we grow as communities and stay strong, but giving people reasons to support the removal of your rights does anything but help. It lets people go back to their buddies and say 'bro these women are so emotional' or 'gay people are such babies.' I am also not saying you can control how people think and what they say, but if you give them reason to think of you as whichever part of your identity instead of the human being you are, be aware that they can and will take that shit and run. Of course, if the person in question is a parent or close family member, do what keeps you safe. You need to survive over all else. Proving a point isn't worth getting kicked out of your home, and I wouldn't recommend telling a parent off unless you have somewhere safe to go.
Be safe, I love you.
(btw if something I said was incorrect or severely misguided reblog with your own take, or my dms are open. Civilly, tho. I will not respond to childish finger pointing or death threats)
#us politics#us polls#republicans#fuck the republikkkans#republikkkan hypocrisy#republikkkan stupidity#vote democrat#democracy#democratic party#let’s discuss#misinformation#propoganda#republican propaganda#republikkkan traitors#lgbtq community#lgb alliance#lgbt pride#lgbt#lgbtqiia+#lgbtqia#lgbtq#minorities#women#women for harris#trans rights#transphobes#poc#blacklivesmatter#native american#racism
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I can't keep doing this to myself...
My brain spit out an idea at me that I don't want to lose so you get to suffer with me under the weight of this idea until I have the time space energy ADHD hyperfocus to start on it.
This is not edited. Goal is to get the thought out of my head, not to make it perfect.
So imagine for me if you will that in some version of the stories for whatever reason I can bullshit into making sense Simon is selected to undergo a new and experimental form of trauma therapy. Used she/her here but when I write it pronouns will be you/yours
He hates it but orders are orders and after losing Johnny (his best mate, his lover, the other half of his soul) he would do just about anything to crawl from under the weight of the grief and guilt. Accepting the assignment means being put under sedation regularly for anywhere from six months to a year. During the sedation your active mind will remian awake and will begin to interact with a simulation that will help deal with the traumas exisiting in his body and mind.
Simon, not 100% on board, accepts the assignment but when he wakes up in some of his worst memorires ignores the woman following him from scene to scene, offering help. Every time he cowers as a child she offers a hand. Each time he bites back the fear flooding his system on a battlefield she offers to take the bullet instead.
For months he ignores her, trying to defeat his demons on his own. This was his mind and his body dammit, he could do this.
She stops offering help but doesn't leave. Trailing behind him in his memories Simon always finds flowers strewn in his footsteps. He never bothered to learn her name. When her laughter starts to haunt his dreams he watches her instead of his memories.
Whoever had programed this simulation had taken great care in creating a realistic interaction point. She makes ugly faces before she sneezes in the barns he has hid in, always complains about hayfever. Her ring finger on her right had been broken before, he can tell from the slight bend between the second and third knuckle. Every time he entered the simulation she wore something different, sometimes tugging on pants as if they wouldn't stay up.
"What should I call you?"
"Mmm?" She looks up from a book she had pulled down from a shelf in a dilapidated kitchen. "Oh, I'm not real so you can call me whatever you want."
He stared at her, frustrations mounting.
"Back to the silent treatment? Okay, this recipe looks actually really yummy," she turns to look back to the book.
Simon stalks up and snatches it from her hands. There is actually handwritten recipes. For some reason this makes Simon's rage double. How? How could this be real? He never opened a book in this kitchen. All that happened here was patching his wounds while waiting for exfil.
Their pattern continues like that until his brain finally spits out Johnny's death. He had been so, so careful to never let that memory come up. When it does Simon is so blindsided that when she offers to help he finally accepts.
Not knowing what to expect from this interaction did not prevent Simon from being surprised at how she handled it. She started to hum as she froze the memory, touching and moving pieces and people until everything had rewound a few moments.
"You have to sit it in, this pain. Talk to him. Tell him everything you didn't get a chance to. The longer you can sit in the agony the sooner it will find peace." She takes him by the hand and pulls him to his love.
Simon cries, like the young boy who needed safety and only found hate or indifference. Through blubbering sobs he tells Johnny every word he regretted hording. When Johnny hugs him back, mouth moving and voice saying things Simon had only dreamed of he found a semblenece of peace.
When his heartrate returns to normal and the only proof this interaction happened is the hollow space in his chest where Johnny will continue to exist his compaion steps back from Johnny, appearing as if from the dust.
"I think that is enough today. You did good." Turning on her heel she walks away, disappearing into the folds between memories.
Simon had never seen her leave before, he always ended the sessions before she had a chance.
He lets her help then, this nameless woman. They conquer every memory and the vaguest notions of memories that bother him. This intensive work paired with his weekly therapy leaves his with the skills to deal with the nightmares, the PTSD, and the trauma that still manifests from time to time.
Can one fall in love with a figment of imagintion? Simon thinks he might have. The final session he confesses, brushing his lips against hers as she sobs.
"But I'm not real. Simon, you can't love me I'm not real."
"Johnny's not real either anymore. I still love him. I'll keep you in my bones next to him, both of you keeping me safe."
She runs then, between memories and fears until she disappears and ends the sesion.
Simon, upon requesting more sessions, is informed that he has completed the program and all his care is being turned over to the non-intensive team that his therapist is a part of. Oh she shouldn't have argued with him or cut off their sessions. Now he knows she is real, the woman the knocked around his brain and fought back the demons for him.
Now all he had to do? Find her.
For anything I am currently working on check out my masterlist. This is getting dropped into my drabbles for later.
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‘Beside the one you have waited for to be mated with…’.
I’m a huge champion of Stede and the power of his emotions. With that in mind, I feel it’s Stede’s emotional state and gender-nonconforming reactions which partly save his life in 109.
He tells Ed initially he will accept the firing squad, that the ‘bill has come due’. It’s a strange declaration because Stede certainly doesn’t deserve such punishment for leaving his family, and Stede also knows he didn’t mean to kill Nigel. But this is Stede’s self-loathing talking rather than a belief in natural justice.
It might also be an attempt at ‘correct’ masculinity. Stede’s initial speech contains overused tropes, things he believes he should say as a man waiting to die. After all, he doesn’t want to appear ‘weak-hearted’ or ‘lily-livered.’ We get noble platitudes of deserving this fate and facing the music: ‘It’s time, Ed.’ Never mind this is what a man’s work looks like; rather, this is what a man’s death looks like: silent, stoic, accepting. Plus big boys don’t cry.
And if Stede had stood silently and taken his execution, I’m not always sure Ed would’ve intervened despite his own heartbreak. I don’t think Ed (or Izzy) would’ve seen another sunrise, but I don’t feel Ed would’ve taken away Stede’s agency.
But then Stede declares he wants to live after all. This is major character growth. There is a ‘Do you want to live?’ through-line from the Pilot’s passively suicidal that’s-a-tough-question Stede, to 103 gut-stabbed Stede, appearing rather resigned to his fate whilst standing on the barrel, to this Stede whose position is very different and very clear.
We cut to Stede in a blindfold. He’s crying ‘I don’t wanna die’; and if you listen carefully, when it cuts to Ed, Stede cries out, ‘The bill hasn’t come due.’* Within minutes he is reneging on his previous words. Faced with death now, Stede’s instincts tell him he has something to stay alive for. And big boys do, in fact, cry - which might prove very powerful.
Meanwhile, other than the deserved punch, Ed seems oblivious to Izzy’s presence. Ed’s psychology is entirely tuned to Stede’s. And I feel it’s Stede’s uninhibited, emotional state, which pierces the workings of Ed’s mind in a way it’s never been before; and that causes Ed to find the answer, to shout, ‘Act of Grace.’
It’s a reciprocity, the neurology between lifemates. It’s primal, you can see it in Ed’s face: Stede lives in his synapses. Stede cries out; Ed finds a way to save him.
And it works both ways. When Ed is the one who needs saving, banging his hand like an SOS, Stede finds the words instinctively, nurtures Ed back from the brink. There’s a synchronicity in how they hold each other’s lives in their hands.
These events are even more compelling between men who were never loved properly by the people who should have done so in their childhoods. They cried out to indifference or worse then, and learned to be silent. They cry out now, and the other half of their soul finds a way to rearrange the stars.
It’s nature’s law. Connections between people who love are powerful.
*stede also says something else afterwards I can never make out - ‘I…?’
#stede bonnet#ed teach#act of grace#lovers#lifemates#power of love#power of emotions#nurturers#nature’s law#ofmd
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Also thinking about Emmerich's storyline and its take on legacy. Spoilers below the cut
The way they take the opportunity that most stories don't in letting you romance an old man and his age being relevant to his story. An old man who is scared of death more than anything, and has been for his whole life. A man who is deeply insecure about his legacy to the point that he never wants one, he wants to seek out a calm, almost inhuman (in that he would have to disconnect himself from the people around him after a time) kind of immortality. Such a deep fear that it takes losing his adoptive son to understand where his flaws lie.
I sincerely believe that the correct option is to bring Manfred back and allow them to form a more father/son relationship. While I totally understand his lifelong desire to become a lich, I think it's a need/want relationship. He wants to become a lich because of his deep rooted fear of death, but he *needs* to overcome his fear and engage in the living world. Especially in the romance aspect, it's pretty notable that this old man has no life partner, no children, only a spirit son to carry his name on when he passes, and he can't do more than that without shedding at least an ounce of his fear.
It's also notable that the thing you argue about before going to the island is death, and what should be done in the event of it, and while you should have a plan, especially in such damned times as the ones he and rook are in, his fear is so great that he can't even see the love in front of him right now.
I really think the scene in between the final two missions where you make love in the coffin is relevant in that it is him accepting his fate, and finding the meaning for life in shedding his fear of death. He is okay with his legacy being Manfred and Rook, he is okay with knowing that Rook is just as likely to pass on as him in the battle ahead. He is okay with being alive for now. Death is for the dead.
Anyways I'm obsessed with this old man, reply with good fics if I don't write one first.
#datv#datv spoilers#dragon age#this man means too much to me lol#emmerich volkarin#emmrich volkarin#dragon age emmrich#emmrich x rook
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His brow furrows when Shiro doesn’t immediately deny that he’s going to be killed. Even though Ichigo started the conversation down this road, he’s come to expect certain things from Shiro—like his inability to accept that someone is capable of getting the better of him. Not denying it sounds too much like acceptance. But then Shiro distracts him and he huffs a soft breath. “You think you had to tell me that? I know you would.” Because he’s atrocious at letting anyone go, never mind someone he’s been in love with for years. “Ghost…sex? I don’t know, I might be—” He blinks and looks over, and then squints and changes his answer. “I guess you’d better not die, because I don’t know what that entails. I’m gonna need some guidelines before I agree. Maybe a demonstration.”
Ichigo scoffs. He’s so tempted to punch Shiro in the arm for being a shit. Or bite him. He gives a dry, “You didn’t sound like you had any doubt five seconds ago.” But Ichigo doesn’t believe him anyway. That quick answer was far too certain. But he waves it off. Shiro looks a little freaked out and that’s not what Ichigo intended. He didn’t intend anything really. “I’m not trying to take it back.” Besides, Shiro let him keep the knife, and he’s far more attached to it these days.
Ichigo narrows his eyes again. “Like I’d give you my work details.” Shiro can put in the leg work to find out himself. He’s more than capable. “I give more exact and detailed information about obscure texts in other languages. Particularly archaic pieces if you really want to know.” He suspects Shiro is just trying to give him a hard time. He does modern stuff too though. “You know exactly what I was in last night.” Shiro mostly, but also Yuu. And now he’s thinking about how perfectly his hands seem to fit around Shiro’s hips.
Shiro sounds like he’s disagreeing, but he just confirms Ichigo’s suspicions and Ichigo snorts. Maybe he should try that. His life might be less boring during the day. Except he’s not entirely sure how to lure someone into a dressing room. Besides Shiro.
It’s pretty hard for Ichigo to argue when he just asked to go through Shiro’s closet and he’s standing in Shiro’s clothes now, he manages it though. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, Your regular fashion sense is as good as your drunk and high fashion sense. I’m just using a different tone.” Except it’s not even true, he likes Shiro’s slutty outfits more than could possibly be considered healthy. Shiro’s shirt literally looks like it’s about to fall off. All Ichigo can think about is how much of his shoulder he could get into his mouth.
Ichigo’s brows raise. “Are you coming back here afterward? That seems like a bad idea.” Once the head is off Shiro’s snake, he thinks it’s best to clear out until the writhing stops and Shiro can pick the reins back up. But Shiro is in charge and on top for a reason. He must make the right decisions. Ichigo starts for the garage. “I’ll check your cars.”
"About my- ?" He almost says boyfriend, but stops himself and shrugs. "I dunno. I guess I did. It's hard not to wonder if the cop you're bangin', who clearly knows who the biggest drug dealer in town is, is just being a cop. Under cover or whatever. Maybe it just looked less suspicious to be upfront about it when I asked him if he was a cop. You were worried about that girl in my bathroom, but the cop would be the right way to do it." Shiro's aware of his own weaknesses. A hot guy with that added element of forbidden and dangerous that being a police officer brings certainly got his attention.
He tosses his phone onto the bed after sending Ichigo the lady's contact info. He knows Ichigo would treat her right if he contacts her at all.
That laugh sounds uncomfortable. Part of him wishes they could dispense with the trying they're both doing, the other part of him is grateful for the efforts. "It's true, I been bad at not giving you what you want from the very start." Shirt? But it only takes him a second, because when he moved out of his apartment he found that shirt. He thought about giving it to Renji to give back to Ichigo, but he couldn't quite make himself do it. "That was your favorite?"
He gets his answer the moment Ichigo looks at him. They know each other well enough for him to read Ichigo just fine. It's flattering. Then the verbal answer Ichigo gives is weirdly touching. It's very sweet, and maybe too honest, but he finds himself liking it anyway. If they can't be together, maybe they can at least be on good terms. Even not being partners, he likes Ichigo's company.
He snorts. "Of course I did, I look good in or out of anything." But being put to bed sounds nice. Warm and cozy and comfortable sounds nice. He is tired, mentally at least. He offers up a little half smirk at the reassurance. "Let's get outta here. Where do you wanna go?"
#whitemoon#tsp activity check#Ahahaha#He’s only fooling himself honestly#no one else#and listen Ichigo would struggle not to crawl into bed with him the Entire Night
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I NEED MORE BURNED CHEESE CONTENT, could you please feed this poor hungry soul some burning cheese kids? Imagine the SUPER protective burn during Golden's pregnancy, or, or helping her with the children's dough (and already planning the next children)
The kids will be here soon, I promise :( they're at school right now, Spice and Golden have to go pick them up. It won't be too long. (I have something important to do irl and that takes priority. I'm hoping I have time at the end of this week to sit down and try to draw them. Everything else is ready, their characters sheets are done, got their whole lives on lock lol. All that's missing is to put them on paper. I only have about half a gram of artistic talent so I'll really be pushing myself here... but I want you all to see them really badly, so I'm happy to do it haha)
I don't have to imagine anything, I'm already there with you, buddy :') I hc them as already married by the time the kids come along, and yeah... Spice is SUPER overprotective lol. Very, very gentle and doting, but fiercely protective and downright hostile towards literally everyone else as a consequence of that protectiveness. He won't leave her side unless absolutely necessary, and he'll be snapping at whoever forced him to leave her and then rushing back to her as soon as he can. (She feels kind of claustrophobic at times, because he literally becomes her shadow during those 9 months lol.) But really, he's at her beck and call from beginning to end. She's craving something? He gets it for her. She's sore? Hugs and massages and nice baths. She's tired? He carries her to bed and doesn't allow anyone to bother her for any reason for the whole rest of the day. She can't sleep? He's up with her all night, talking to her and soothing her and doing whatever he can to lull her back to sleep because she needs all the rest she can get. He's Peak Husband during this time lol.
(He's just... beyond happy. I also hc this as being after Spice has redeemed himself and been accepted back into society, but still not having 100% let go of his dark past (which he never truly will, you can never fully forget something like that, unfortunately). So really, he takes this as one of the greatest rewards for his change of heart that he's ever gotten, and as a sign that he really has become better. The day Golden came to him and told him she was pregnant was the best day of his whole, entire life. He fell to his knees and cried when she told him. Not only has he managed to forsake his destructive nature and instead create something, but he's engaged in the most profound act of creation there is: he helped create a life. And he created this precious life with the woman he loves, who helped kickstart his journey to redemption in the first place. It just shows how far he's come, you know? From a cruel tyrant to a beloved king to two peoples... from a bloodthirsty psychopath destined to live and die alone to a much more even-tempered man who has atoned for his sins and learned to be a good friend and person again, as well as became a beloved husband and father... still a force for destruction, but now in a positive way, not a negative one. It's been a very long road, but it really feels like he reached the end, and this victory is sweeter than any he's had before.)
...And same thing if they're cookies, honestly lol. Peak Husband. Burning Sweetheart Cookie here, jumping for joy when Golden tells him she wants a child. He goes hunting for a Witch Oven of his own accord, going to quite literally every corner of the earth until he finds one, then they go to it and he's just like a kid on Christmas Day lol. They're making the batter together and he's just grinning that big, pointy grin he's got, beaming like the sun. How much of his dough should they mix in? How much of hers? What will happen, what sort of child will they create? Golden thinks he's so cute lol. He won't even sit still while the kid is baking in the oven; if he's not pacing back and forth in anticipation, he's picking Golden up and swinging her around and smothering her with kisses, and going on and on and on about how great the kid will be and how they'll be a fine warrior just like him and Golden. He's yanking the oven door open as soon as that timer goes off and they both hear crying... she has to tell him to slow down so they can both take the baby out together (he was so excited that he was just going to do it by himself lol)
TL;DR: The woobification of Burning Spice Cookie on this blog is complete, he is now Burning Sweetheart Cookie, reformed villain who loves his bird wife and their babies with all of his spicy heart
And to feed you a bit of extra content (and to keep everyone on the edge of their seats), I shall feed you a bit of information about the kiddies:
There are two of them, a son and a daughter. The son is the older one by a few years
I did research and took inspiration from both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for their design and some of their personality traits (I will explain this in detail soon. I actually really enjoyed learning about these religions, even if for a ridiculous reason, and I look forward to rambling about all the little bits and pieces of myths I cobbled together to make these two lol)
Each one resembles a parent quite a bit (but I will not specify which child looks like which parent yet)
One of them has wings like Golden Cheese does
Something really bad happens to the son in the future
Here are their soulstone descriptions, because yes, I really did go above and beyond creating these little guys lol
"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. It feels warm and light, like a rare, refreshing breeze on a desert morning... But is that a single grain of self-doubt, nestled deep within its core?"
"This stone holds a piece of [REDACTED]'s soul. Though it burns very hot and bright, and feels difficult to handle at first, the kindness and unyielding strength resonating from within are nevertheless unmistakable."
#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#burning spice crk#golden cheese crk
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