#you sent me like 5 asks so im deeply concerned 😭 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ebdanon · 6 months ago

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okay i took a nap and im feeling a bit better now, so let's start with some lore (lol) first because even two years later, she still keeps bringing it up. typos galore, beware!

ever since the proposal happened, my mil has thought my parents knew about it ahead of time, and somehow she's twisted that scenario into thinking my parents are giving my husband and i instructions on who to be and what to do. allegedly, her own mil and fil used to do that to her husband so "she knows the signs" - im saying allegedly because ive never confirmed that 100% and as we can see from the start, she has a wild imagination

from the first moment we started trying to organize the wedding, she started shit talking my parents. how they're good for nothing, conniving, selfish and in charge. i figured it's nothing too bad, probably wedding-related stress is what's got her into the conspiracy. whenever she talked about my parents, it was while screaming to my husband about whatever it is she decided the topic of the day would be. usually it was about her son's disrespect because he decided to propose two months after his grandmother (mil's mom) passed away, and then have a wedding so soon after on top of that. but that never made sense because he asked for permission to do all that multiple times. yes, permission, in case she gets offended. she said it's not a problem each time, even encouraged him, then turned around and walked the whole thing back. either it was bad because it was so soon and she was still grieving, or it was too late and she wanted her mom to attend the wedding but my husband was selfish for not doing anything earlier.

~slight intermission here

mil is an only child, and that was when she claims she was left alone in the world, because her dad passed a few years before her mom. she was obsessed with local and religious traditions we have in terms of people passing away, but after her mom it got worse and worse, to the point where she'd go to the cemetery each week and if at any point that wasn't possible, she'd throw a tantrum. all she talks about these days are "the good times" when they were alive, the suffering she put them through or when she's going to the cemetery next and what she plans to do there. i understand grief, but you cant claim you're alone in the world when you've made a whole ass family of your own... unless you've somehow fucked it up so bad that you feel you can't rely on them, which i wasn't sure at the time was the problem, but i am now

intermission end~

six months later, we've finally relaxed from the wedding bs, when the health issues started for my husband. fil works at the hospital in our hometown, and mil is hospital-adjacent. since most things in this country works on "i know someone who can help you" (in the sense from knowing where the best locally sourced cheese is for example, to enrolling you in school, or even making a crime disappear) we decided to go back so he could get checked out by more doctors because the gp we had just gave him some antibiotics and sent him home, which obviously wasn't effective after trying it out. in the meantime i called up my aunt, a specialist doctor living abroad, for advice in case she can help sooner. so we arrived at my mil and filled armed with a bit more information, which was "get him to the gastrointestinal wing at a hospital bc they can point to exactly what he needs for exams and then treatment". in the next four days, his dad took us (i went everywhere with them as my husband was exhausted) to about twenty doctors in the hospital where he works, that doesn't have a gastrointestinal wing, and my husband got bloodwork done each time. the results showed he's fine each time. the symptoms never stopped. it was almost two weeks now. to see these doctors you need a recommendation from your gp but with the system i explained (knowing someone) they can examine you on the down low. out of that number of specialists (from doctors specializing in heart or blood diseases to infectious diseases), only two said he should go to a gastrointestinal wing in any other hospital to get checked out. the rest just assumed it was a stomach bug or food poisoning or some sort of parasite and just prescribed more pills. one recommended a parasite test which turned out to be negative and had him continue insisting it must be a parasite it just probably moved from the gut to another place. with each new doctor, came a new report we had to make to his parents of who said what, when, and what happened next, because they "must know". when those two doctors said different hospital, we brought up my aunt, but there was an issue there. first from both my fil and mil talking about how she's a shitty doctor despite meeting her once at the wedding (aka a non medical situation), how her mother was a shit doctor too (she worked at the same hospital my fil does, passed away over a decade ago), we should never listen to a dumbass, she's evil and who knows what else, it was a lot. another issue was, my fil would have to drive to the hospital because my husband was in a terrible condition and i have no experience driving even though i have a license (im scared of it). my fil wouldn't take his own son, despite begging. he did take him to another hospital to get his hormones checked though, while my fil was getting checked out for his own gut issues at the same fucking time. this was already like a month in, so the moment my husband felt a bit better, we asked my parents to drive us to the other town we were living in. my parents are quite unreliable so i dont usually involve them in most aspects of my life but that was a positive surprise. an example of that was, i asked them to stay for 30ish minutes so we could unpack, instead of just dropping us off, in case we needed help (like a quick run to a store 2mins away to buy basic food stuff because we were away for a month) because we were both exhausted but they were in a hurry to to back home because they had errands to run. they had the rest of the day but i guess they were desperate for those 30mins. so we finally called up my aunt again, to let her know of all the doctors and exams and she recommended the same thing again, she was even more sure about it and gave us a handful of potential issues, and only one doctor brought up the same things before and recommended the same thing but my in laws thought hes wrong (because they suddenly became medical experts) so they ignored him. ~ask continued

im deeply afraid of where this is going

#asks #lore anon #you sent me like 5 asks so im deeply concerned 😭

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