#you remember how Buck kissed Lucy and instead of telling Taylor he asked her to move in?

[wikiangela]

made so much progress on the cheating fic tonight 👀

angsty, miserable, spiraling buck is so much fun to write 😂

[unrealisticlea]

Hii, about your buck/natalia post i think https://www.tumblr.com/poughkeepsies/717587338097754112/okay-heres-the-thing-about-the-stupid-fucking?source=share this one explains it very well imo and theres another couch meta that when i find ill send it to you, but yeah like you said everything they show us is the opposite of what buck pov tells us

These are excellent points and had it been any other episode I’d be all over them.

I don’t buy into this being a deliberate choice. They wrote the episode to be the series finale and they put every character exactly where it’s supposed to be (they decided that meant with their romantic partner and i strongly disagree but that’s another thing): Athena and Bobby are on that honeymoon they wanted since season 3, Hen and Karen finally have a little girl, Maddie and Chimney found their happiness and are planning their wedding, Eddie “finally moved on” (I also have a lot of problems with this).

It’s like every other series finale, they want to leave the characters in a place where the audience can imagine they’re gonna leave a long and happy life. “Letting go of the past and moving on to the future” as Bobby says. So why would they leave Buck hanging and making what the audience can see is yet another mistake? What those great meta are saying and what other people told me is “this is Buck’s pov, she’s not the right person for him, Buck thinks/decides she’s the right person for him but we can see she isn’t. Eddie and Christopher are the right people and they told us with all the couch scenes at Eddie’s place during the season”. That’s what I also thought before the episode and that fits perfectly with the couch metaphor and it would have worked perfectly if this was a mid-season finale or even if 6x18 felt less definitive.

But it feels like an ending. They closed every other arc. I don’t think they said “let’s wrap everything up and let’s just leave Buck in the same place he was when Abby left, when he asked Taylor to move in after he kissed Lucy, when he decided to run to Eddie instead of facing Taylor after she betrayed his trust: desperately clinging to yet someone else even though it’s clear to everyone that it’s not gonna work. Just in case we get renewed”. Because that means they think that’s enough to make the entire audience tune in next season (do you remember when that shitty journalist wrote “if you don’t love Buck why are you even watching 911”. I love Buck but I refuse to believe he’s right). But even if they decided Buck’s actually the main character and that’s why his ending is different than everyone else, it’s not different enough and it doesn’t work as a starting point for next season. You know what could have been a great starting point for next season? Buck deciding to quit LAFD because of how he feels after he died. And they laid down the groundwork for that.

But he didn’t. He’s pretty settled. That’s why i think the audience is supposed to think he got a “happy ending” like everyone else and she’s the right person for him. But like I said in my previous post (x) it doesn’t work at all and everyone can see that.

And now my unpopular opinion on why this happened: it wasn’t a choice, it doesn’t work because they fucked up. They wanted to have it both ways: they didn’t write a character who feels like Buck’s soulmate, they wrote as little of her as they could and they described her exactly like every other Buck’s ex girlfriend because they didn’t want to alienate buddie fans. They deliberately wrote her as bad for Buck and you can see this if you compare her to Kameron who wasn’t, she was written as pretty neutral for Buck. We also don’t know much about Kameron and it still feels like she likes Buck more than Natalia does.

But they also didn’t plan to make buddie canon. So Buck ended up being the only character who found his happy ending in someone who was written like every other character who made him miserable. I just think he deserved better.

[fruitjedi]

All the times I almost kissed you

Buddie fic

Buck falls for Eddie Diaz the second he meets him and he hates it. He hates that his girlfriend is far away and he’s stuck here with some hot guy basically taunting him with his abs. He hates it.

So yeah at first Buck hates Eddie. But then they pull a grenade out of a guy's leg and everything changes. Buck decides to fuck being angry at Eddie for being attractive and to try being his friend. So he does.

Then he meets Christopher and learning how great Eddie is with Chris makes Buck swoon. So he breaks up with Abby he’s going to ask Eddie out… And then Ali contacts him and he takes the easy road out and dates her instead. 

Then it happens again but this time Eddie’s the one with a girlfriend Ana. Buck despises her. He hates that she gets Eddie. He hates that when Eddie gets fucking shot and tells Buck about the will and he hates that at the end of the night even with all that was said and done Eddie’s going home to Ana. So he dates Taylor. 

Then Eddie leaves the 118 and Buck wants to beg him to stay he wants to show him why he should stay… but he has Taylor and he can’t cheat on her.

And then he does. He cheats on Taylor with Eddie’s replacement Lucy. Buck would be lying to not say the only reason he kissed her was that he imagined her being Eddie

Then there both single again and Buck’s so close to asking him out and there’s the stuff with the donor baby but that’s not a reason not to do it then… he gets struck by lightning and it changes Buck’s entire worldview. What if he was looking at it wrong? What if he should just settle down with a nice girl?

So he does. With Natalia. She’s nice enough and she sees him in a way only Eddie does and even after the stuff with Lucy and Kamreon she still came back.

So why does Buck have to mess it all up and turn it into shit? Buck gets drunk one night out with the team. Blackout drunk and he tells Eddie everything… while he’s still dating Natalia.

That takes Buck to now. To a splitting headache and waking up on Eddie’s couch. He can’t remember a thing from the previous night. He checks his texts and … he broke up with Nataila he told her he was in love with Eddie and that it could never work out. She said he’s drunk and they’ll talk in the morning. 

He could salvage that he could agree he was drunk and out of his mind and he’s about to… When Eddie came in. The same Eddie to who he told everything the night before when he was beyond wasted. The same Eddie who he doesn’t remember telling.

Eddie sits on the couch next to him and gives him something for the hangover. After Buck takes it Eddie waits a moment and then speaks.

“So,” Eddie says suddenly “You may not remember but I do. You said some stuff to me last night that I can’t easily forget. You told me you were in love with me and you broke up with your girlfriend to prove it”

Buck sighs angrily and puts a hand over his face “Look I’m sorry I was drunk and I get it you don’t feel the same way-”

Eddie laughs “You didn’t let me finish Evan. After you broke up with Nataila you kissed me. Hard and it took everything I have not to kiss you back”

“Why didn’t you?” Buck asked nervously 

“Because you were drunk and I wanted you to be able to remember our first kiss”

Buck seised forward and put his hand on Eddie's cheek. He wasn’t afraid anymore “I’m not drunk right now. Can I-”

Eddie cut him off with his lips. He kissed Buck so hard he was dizzy and they flopped over backwards onto the couch.

“Hi,” Eddie said on top of Buck. Inches away from his mouth

Buck smiled “Hi”

Buck ended up actually breaking things off with Nataila. He was about to ask Eddie to be his boyfriend when Eddie cut him off and ran into his room. When he came back he was kneeling.

“I know you are about to ask me to be your boyfriend but I have a proposition for you. This was my grandfather's ring and I know it’s quite sudden but we’ve always done things at our own pace but I’d be lying to say I wanted to be your boyfriend. I don’t. I want to be your husband”

Buck beamed and surged forward and kissed him “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes” 

Buck had thought for years that he was never gonna get Eddie. That he was too chicken to do so and now here he is heavily hungover and freshly engaged. Past Buck would be proud.

[likeshipsonthesea]

in the after

what really happened after buck kissed lucy back, and hen being there like always.

Lucy pulls back from their third--fourth?--kiss and Buck blinks heavily. She sways closer and then further away, and he’s not sure if it’s really her or just his muddled vision, but he knows he wants her back close again. That--that felt hot, not warm, but hot like burning, skin-tight and aching, and that--that felt so much better than the emptiness in his chest now.

“I’m gonna go get us more drinks,” Lucy says, smirking, and Buck nods because Buck doesn’t remember the last time he turned anyone down for anything.

As soon as she leaves his vision, Buck is weightless. He can sort of feel the corner of the pool table digging into his thigh and he can sorta hear the news still playing in the background and he remembers jumping from the back of a truck while wondering idly if he’d make it this time, too, just like all the other times, just in the nick of time, just barely, and--

Hen materializes. She’d been--out, either in the bathroom or calling Karen, or something else entirely, and as he sees her, Buck realizes how intensely he just wants to be on her couch, listening to her and Karen criticize reality television as he falls asleep there and one of them runs a caring hand over his head as they cover him up at night and--and Buck just wants Hen to not be across the room right now.

Buck remembers he can do something about that. He stands, teetering like Taylor in her heels after one too many, and Buck’s made his way over to Hen before he remembers--Taylor.

Hen reaches out to steady Buck, frowning as he sends her wide-eyed wordless pleas for help. “What’s wrong, Buckaroo?” she asks, and it’s been so long since someone called him that, and Buck just--drops.

Hen hugs him back as he buries his face in her shoulder and throws his arms around her shoulders. “I wanna go home,” he says, muffled, but Hen hears him anyway and pats at his head and he feels, for the quickest second, a fraction of the warmth he’s been dying for lately.

“Okay, let’s get you home.”

Hen has the bartender give her a bottle of water to go and they sit out on the curb as she orders them an Uber. Buck drinks his water dutifully, as directed, and lets it keep his mouth busy so he doesn’t ask her to let him crash on her couch or, worse, to drop him off at Eddie’s instead.

The image of his own apartment flashes in his mind--gunmetal greys and deep browns that aren’t the right shade, and the one pop of color, Taylor’s bedhead, the strands he finds in his shower, on his pillow, everywhere, and--and he sips more water, and bites his tongue.

He tells Hen what happened in the car. She listens--she always listens, even when she has more important things to listen to, and Buck loves her and wishes he hadn’t said anything and wishes he could say the rest--and Hen tells him to tell Taylor. And he knows he should. Hen didn’t tell Karen, all those years ago, and that just made everything worse. But they fixed it, and so this isn’t the end, Buck could fix it, too.

But Hen loves Karen, Buck thinks, drunk, and sobers enough not to let himself follow that thought any deeper.

Hen helps Buck up to his grey, brown, red apartment and makes sure he drinks another glass of water while she waits for another Uber to arrive and take her home, and when Buck’s finished the last drop, she squeezes his shoulder and says, “Whatever happens, you have me, okay?”

And Buck must react some kind of way--probably tears, he’s quick to cry, just like Maddie, just like Mom--because Hen hugs him again.

“You and me, Buckaroo.”

Buck remembers that month back during his probie year, Chimney out with rebar, Bobby--not yet Bobby, when Hen would quiz him for his exam and listen to his random facts and let him win, every once in a while, when they played video games, and Buck clings to her, now, years later, because he knows what she means. It’s just them again--Chim left, Eddie left, Ravi’s good but he hasn’t bled with them yet, not really, and Bobby--Bobby’s too busy trying to pick up the broken pieces of his A-shift, and there’s always been a distance anyway, with him the captain and them the ones who rely on him.

But Hen--Hen’s still here.

“Thanks, Hen.” He squeezes her, probably too tight, too needy, but she doesn’t say anything.

She leaves, when her Uber arrives, and the warmth lingers long enough for Buck to fall into his empty bed and the best sleep he’s had in a while.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

#you remember how Buck kissed Lucy and instead of telling Taylor he asked her to move in?#imagine he sleeps with Eddie and instead of admitting it he asks Taylor to move in 🤦🏻‍♀️ such an asshole smh 😂

oh damn

made so much progress on the cheating fic tonight 👀

angsty, miserable, spiraling buck is so much fun to write 😂