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#you really can show me a deeply depressing tearjerker of a movie and i’ll sit there dry eyed
fingertipsmp3 · 3 months
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Genuinely not sure if I cry easily or if I just have a habit of dwelling on my problems and past grief that I should really be well into the fifth stage of by now but am instead stuck on stage 3 or 4
#like i don’t cry at media basically ever#EVERYONE and their brother is like ‘you didn’t cry reading a little life??’ no? it was sad and i recognised that#i connected with the characters and i found pretty much everything that happened to be deeply upsetting but it didn’t make me cry#but if you catch me on a bad day and even MENTION any of the pets i’ve had that have died? floodgates open instantly#and i mean i will cry and scream for multiple minutes with no end in sight#when i was still a TA i once cried. for two hours. because i didn’t connect with a student and didn’t know how to help her#i sat on the station platform for 20 minutes crying then i cried the whole 50 minute train journey then i cried for well over an hour#once i got home#i mean i am diagnosed with a panic disorder. so there is that as well#and my panic attacks usually manifest as a crying fit where i can’t get my breath and i hear roaring in my ears#you really can show me a deeply depressing tearjerker of a movie and i’ll sit there dry eyed#but if i happen to have a slightly bad day after a night of suboptimal sleep? you’d think someone had died#i’ve cried because i told someone i cry a lot and then they GOT CONCERNED ABOUT ME and i was moved by their concern#and then i worry like am i a narcissist? but i’ll cry over someone else’s problems as well honestly#i didn’t like my friend’s dad and i cried buckets when i found out he was dead because i knew how upset she’d be#i had to stay home from college that day. i was too distraught#and my great-uncle who i barely knew died of covid which he caught at a stupid work meeting that no one should ever have been called in for#my granddad said all his coworkers came to the funeral and were just bawling their eyes out and then i started crying in solidarity#cannot stress enough i barely knew this man. i mean i LIKED him. we met maybe three times#all this is to say i started crying for no reason and benji tried to comfort me by climbing on me and then i cried more#this poor dog probably thinks he’s been sent to cheer up a millennial woman in crisis. and he has.#personal
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