#you poor bastard i fucking love dnd. it’s your problem now

[shrekyaoi]

The inner circle having a DND podcast like critical role

you may think makarov would be the dm because he’s a control freak but no. it’s lev. lev is the kind of dm that has a mean streak as deep as an oceanic trench and while he may not go super hard on the lore he does overcompensate by making the npcs have VERY strong personalities. he likes to make his plots about the end of the world and/or universe in some way but it’s always the question of “how” that compels you

makarov meanwhile always plays a wizard which makes him virtually fucking useless for the first two levels. i think his favourite subclasses would be either evocation or bladesinger. let’s say he mains bladesinger. gotta get that “fucking kills you with my overpowered sword” and “fucking kills you with disintegrate” double whammy combo. he does get downed a lot though. this is why yuri is a paladin. his storylines always inevitably get dragged into him trying to become a lich. he has about a 33% success rate so far but everybody’s rooting for him. in their current campaign he has managed to become a vampire and he is making it everybody’s (yuri’s neck’s) problem

yuri never uses any of his healing on himself either, always makarov. i’m thinking either oath of vengeance, glory, or oathbreaker with a veeery rare dip into redemption (mostly because. it fucking sucks. but the flavour bro the flaaavour). i think he’d enjoy bloodhunter if he could ever get out of the “need to stop makarov from getting downed fifteen times in one session” grind even though they HAVE a healer. he’s usually pretty minimal about his backstories but by association with anatoly they always leave you clawing at the walls, especially considering how mildly he plays it. his characters keep fucking dying. nobody lets him stay dead, though

if you think anatoly would be the healer you’d be wrong. usually he’s either an eldritch/echo knight or zealot barbarian. sometimes both. he deals NASTY damage and doesn’t give a shit if you hit him back. somehow he always has the most devastating backstories and his storylines in the campaigns are fucking gutwrenching. he and yuri keep making their characters siblings and it hurts every time 👍 kind of guy that made a deal with at least one god of death to being yuri back

kiril makes joke characters that get out of hand. every time. he likes artificer but he’s not picky. he also does wild magic sorcerer for the sillies. the goofs. this has backfired frequently, which is half of the delight. for a oneshot he made a wildfire druid with zero backstory and roleplayed her as cocky and arrogant the whole time and then at the end it was revealed her memories were taken and this whole quest was to kill the person that took them, which also just so happened to be the macguffin of the whole goddamn thing. everyone’s endings hinged on finding this guy. and she killed his ass so fast. kiril’s ruthless when he wants to be. somehow, despite himself, he manages to be extremely compelling. in their current campaign he’s playing a sentient sock puppet named horst. horst has made people cry

alexi is the healer. he’s fucking pissed. he tried to branch out by playing a hexblade One (1) time and the party got tpk’d instantly. usually he plays some form of cleric, any form of cleric, dear god he wants SOME variety, but occasionally he can pull off a shepherd or star druid if he’s lucky. maybe a lore bard. when he’s not trapped in the torment nexus of what anatoly refers to as “his daily life” he managed to create some viscerally offputting characters. his backstories are simple but effective. he once played a guy that hid his lycanthropy for the entire campaign until the last few sessions leading up to the bbeg fight and everyone was so put offguard they had to call a mid-session break. lev enables this kind of shit readily. the impression alexi gives is “would have been a murder hobo if he wasn’t forced to be the token full support.” sometimes he does shit though,,,, you do not usually see many clerics putting their axe through a priest’s chest but here we are

[janiedean]

So was discussing this with a friend. S8 s*ansa talking about r+L even tho jon asked her not to. Initially we were like book!s would never, but then my friend said book!s DID in book 1 (telling ned's plan to c). Now obviously these are 2 v different situations. Book!s was a kid who had NO idea abt the larger context of things, and she wasn't aware of the political games going on. She genuinely thought she was doing the Right thing or at least what would eventually benefit her and her family 1/2

~because if c and joff are happy it will benefit the starks. So my friend said s8 stuff wasn't all that different since she genuinely believed Dany was nuts and Westeros was better off without her and that jon couldn't see it because he loved her. Plus if jon ends up on the iron throne (which is what we thought she was getting at in telling tyrion) it's again good for the starks? What do you think? If nothing it made sense in the context of show!s considering LF her mentor? 2/2

... I... respectfully disagree on just about everything. In order:

as you said, book!sansa had no fucking idea what she was doing, she was being misled by both cersei and joffrey and she thought she was saving her father, not benefit her family, which is normal given that she’s... twelve. or whatever;

now, the problem is that it’s bad writing if a character starts somewhere and arrives at the same place without nothing having fucking changed in between unless it’s a movie whose point is being depressing or specifically wants to be tragic, because like... circular writing for *long* series where people get invested in *character development* means that we get at the same situation but with changed people - for one, idk, it’s circular writing if jaime’s last line in the series is the things I do for love after he idk knights brienne or saving tyrion’s life or doing something selfless, because we went from jaime who does things for love that are bad for him and bad for everyone else involved to jaime doing things for love for good reasons, which is why among the other reasons the bells is a shit episode that doesn’t work on any level, so if sansa spills the truth about jon to tyrion exactly the way she did in got therefore causing harm and the only difference is that she knows she’s causing harm sansa hasn’t had any development outside of ‘wow she started as a sweet girl and now she’s cersei 2.0′;

on that sense, the entire point in sansa being mentored by lf in the book is that she’s not going to turn out like him or cersei which is plenty obvious because it’s been four books and she’s still kind and empathetic to everyone including people who hurt her, so that is not a legitimate writing choice imvho;

now, about sansa spilling about r+l, there is a whole other level of wrong in it, which we can further divide into the following categories: a) first of all for what THE SHOW told me, sansa basically decided dany was nuts and hated her because WHY THE FUCK NOT - there is no literal reason for show sansa to dislike dany that much when she went with jon to help, JON was the king so it was his decision to kneel, she didn’t hurt the northerners and she arrived with an army to kill the goddamned zombies, so basically by the point she spills to tyrion she seems like she’s doing that out of pettiness - honest, by 8x04 dany hadn’t... looked nuts or anything, and I’m saying it as someone who doesn’t care about dany but thinks that if S8 did one thing was making you root for her even if you previously didn’t; b) sansa swore in front of a heart tree (which is sacred to northerners) that she wouldn’t spill and then she did, which is... not that great; c) more than that, it was going against jon’s wishes because jon made overtly clear that he didn’t want the throne, that he didn’t want to act on his rights and that he knelt to dany and that he wasn’t interested in challenging her claim, so if sansa wanted him to be king she was basically ignoring what HE wanted without even consulting with him first, which is an incredibly bad breach of trust on her side that honestly, if I had been jon in the finale I’d have told her to fuck off and that I never wanted to see her again X°DD like you don’t put people on thrones when they didn’t ask you to out of disliking the legitimate ruler that your brother who was king at the moment bent the knee to because you presumably.... want the independent north which in the books is a thing that will happen because bran is 100% the next kitn, but is not a thing inherently seen as morally better or more just than any other option and which neither ned nor robb actually wanted, so.... no;

‘dany being nuts’ was a decision dnd took without even planning it well because she basically lost it without one single illegitimate reason - I mean, again considering that I don’t care for dany and I think she’s a good khaleesi but not a great ruler and that her adwd stint confirms it and that she’s not endgame ruler for the end of the books... what I see in S8 is that the poor girl goes to winterfell to help them and sansa treats her like shit and everyone treats her like shit, she has to see one of her dragons die once, jorah dies in front of her, when she tries to mingle with the others she gets treated like she doesn’t belong, then it turns out that her new boyfriend is her nephew and a threat to her claim which she has staked her entire storyline on, then almost all of her closest advisors decide to turn against her for wtf reasons when she said from the beginning that she was there to kill cersei and reclaim her rights, then she loses her second dragon and her best friend in the span of one day, then during the bells she goes berserk because they decided to give her joncon’s storyline out of nowhere and bc dnd haven’t even read the first version of the first dance with dragons, but like... honestly at that point my opinion was ‘if she goes and dracaryses the entire continent I’ll just cheer because what the fucking fuck is this they just made her sympathetic and sansa looks like a cold scheming asshole which is not the character I love’, so like... where is the truth? the truth is that dnd decided to go with that shit ending where maybe 5% was grrm’s thing (I mean the small council made of cripples bastards and broken things is a grrm thing, how they get there.... no) and dany didn’t feature in it and they didn’t know how to finish and they went with that also because they knew most fake feminist press was rallying behind the ‘sansa as queen in the north who needs no man’ bullshit storyline so what the fuck let’s just go with that, and like.... again: as someone who doesn’t gaf about dany in the books, that was just not it period

tldr: s8 sansa makes sense maybe if we take her as a separate character who has nothing to do with her book self and that dnd wrote to be cersei lite except slightly more likable, but her actions make no sense, her writing makes no sense and hasn’t since they gave her theon’s fucking sl in S5 and there is literally nothing past episode 8x02 except maybe four scenes that actually makes any shred of narrative sense as an adaptation and within the show’s context, since a lot of stuff is basically characters contradicting each other. I said what I said. /shrug

[cherriesradio]

Story I’ve had in my mind for a while that I honestly wanna make a comic with

(This is very simplified and with out any of the big events lol) tw blood mention

So there are three time travelers. None of them know they others are also time travelers, and keep running into each other without knowing it. Over time they all fall in love. Luka, Marshall, and Wilbur.

How Time Travel Works -

If you die in one time you don’t come back.

They don’t quite know how time travelers actually works. They know that they can’t find themselves, that the world spins when they travel, and the inbetween. Which is also where they first meet and find that they are all travelers. (Aka me still trying to figure out how time travel will work)

“The inbetween” is a giant White Castle/mansion. It was empty till Wilbur and Marshell started bringing in little items from their travels that their friends and family’s would feel odd about. It’s where they go after and before they travel to a place, because it gives them a second to process what they’ve done and possibly go back and fix mistakes. Which these himbos never do.

These are the only rules I’ve made about time travel, when I want to I watch movies and dives into different movies take on time travel to see what works.

Luka -

He was born in some timeline. He doenst remember which, but he has a few memories.

This is his motive of traveling. He’s trying to go back to his time, which he can’t find because he has no memory of when he was.

He first time travelled when he was five and has been trying to find his way since he was eight, after being taken care of by a forty-five year old man.

Who he often visits now.

He’s now twenty-one.

All his memories:

Playing in a flower field with who he assumes is his brother, who has the same dirty blond hair as him and freckles. He remembers his brother telling him “Dads gonna be so mad having to get all that muck out of your hair.” Most likely from rolling around in the field.

Having someone with very rough yet gentle hands running there hands through his hair as he watch’s his brother write.

A blurred figure telling him about how it’s going to be cold out that day while putting his long hair up. He somehow remembers the hair tie being black. (That has nothing to do with the plot lol)

He somehow fell on his face and he remembers his father (he assumes) telling him off while wiping off blood from his face.

He has long, dirty blond hair which he usually ties into a ponytail. (He hates when people touch his hair.) He has a small amount of freckles and brown eyes. He has a number of small scars from getting a little to into peoples business while traveling. He’s on the slim side, but has lots of lower body strength from running away from business owners after trying to steal stuff.

He likes trying the foods around different timelines; which lead him to getting food poisoning way more time than he should’ve.

He often felt bad about stealing stuff at first but after bringing a hoodie to 3,000 B.C. that he stole from a target he doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt.

He often ends up interacting with the Wilbur more than Marshall, just because Wilburs reaosn for travel makes him go to times similar to his. (Wilbur finds flowers comforting, Luka visits a lot of flower fields)

Cant take a compliment or insult.

He wears lots of different things from different times, casually wears modern clothes the most because their the most comfortable.

He simps real easy

Bi king, more into guys

Will laugh at anything

Total DND nerd and he has a little DND group in the late 2000’s that he makes sure to go to on time

Basically he’s bastard baby and we love him

“Scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle”

Wilbur -

He’s from modern day 2000’s

He’s just trying to run away from his problems ngl

His family’s having so many issues, trying to keep their small diner up and running in COVID while they have to pay for his sisters funeral.

She was only eleven.

He’s a SOFTIE TO THE CORE

He’s a shy guy but if you crack his shell he RANTS SO MUCH ITS ANNOYING

He’s a big fan of mcyt and accidentally mentions it while talking to a poor bread boy in 1675 🥲✋ who turns out to be Luka-

Was the first to suspect that there were more time travelers cause he’s the only one with a brain cell

“Humble” aka hates everything about himself even though he’s the BEST

Give him praise or he will cry

Huge cry baby, might just be me projecting but like jabsnjsbshsja

Gets straight (pan) A’s in school 👌

Has curly brown hair that he dyes all the time and has to use impermanent dye so he can wash it out. He’s fillipino, he’s not really into the culture but loves the food. He’s a little overweight but still healthy.

Has the softest skin in the world like jesus

He wears lots of sweaters/hoodies/ anything bigger because he’s insecure about his weight 🥺 again projecting

This really just went straight from lore/ plot to baby didn’t it-

He plays animal crossing while chilling in the back of a horse drawn carriage in the 17’s

He’s pretty cautious about everything, not wanting to mess up history and all that.

But he’s legit created like fifthteen different time lines-

He’s like 19 the poor baby

Marshell

Marshell “Anger Issuse” Taylor

The reason he travels is because of his sister and brother. They died in 9/11 and worked making food there.

He often visits when the towers fell, thinking in his mind how he could save them. But he won’t risk it.

I’ve worked the least on him

People at his school used to always call him Marshmellow and when I tell you it pissed him the fuck off I MEAN IT

he’s muscular can and will beat you up

Fully capable of murder

Besides being a walking time bomb he’s pretty nice.

Sarcastic comments are his thing

Luka thought his DND alignment would be “lawful evil” at first but legit broke when Marshell told him he though he was a good person in the sweetest tone-

He DEFINITELY fell for the others first

He notices little things, and he has a whole list in his head of little things that Luka and Wilbur do that he loves

He likes the inbetween.

Was held back in fourth grade and called stupid for it.

20

When they all get together romantically the ages are - Luka: 23 Wilbur: 21 Marshell: 22

[blackcatanna]

Okita's Route Part 2: Still on Kyoto Winds because I didn't realise that I'd ramble so much

Predictably, I'm enjoying Okita's route a lot more than Kazama's. Also, I'm skipping a lot less than when I played Kazama and Iba's routes, which makes a lot of sense because Okita is actually in the Shinsengumi and, therefore, gets a lot of screen time. So far, he acts like an asshole but this isn't backed up by his actions. Apart from the casual child cruelty X_X

Chapter, uh, 3? I think...

I feel like Hijikata sticking up for Sanan is just making things worse X_X . Saying that he's not useless because he's a swordsman is just plain wrong. It makes it seem like he's just saying it out of pity. I'm sure that Sanan has plenty to contribute, besides slicing people up.

"Sanan is quite the beloved member here, isn't he? It's nice to see such a tight-knit group." -_- Itou is such a master of shade. Gently implying that they only keep Sanan around because of their relationship. You evil bitch X_X

"Ugh, who brought those bastards into the Shinsengumi?" RIGHT?! Glad to see that Okita's not blindly following Kondou's lead here.

"He is easily deceived by silver tongues, those who appear virtuous... but are real scumbags." As the great Roisin Conaty once said: "Charming is just lube for evil." However, this is kind of backing up what those asshole kids were saying earlier about Kondou being an idiot X_X

SNOOP SNOOP 👀

AH! OKITA CAUGHT ME TALKING TO MYSELF! AGAIN X_X

"Trying to run away behind our backs." -_- You know that's not true.

"Heh, I'm just messing with you." No shit. "I mean, unless you were escaping, then I'll slit your throat." -_- You just couldn't resist the opportunity to throw out another casual death threat, could you?

Is he worried about my safety? I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO BE FLIPPANT BUT I SEE THROUGH YOU.

"Good girl." -_-

"It sounded like something out of a fairy tale." Oooooooooh hooooooneeeey... Have you not been paying attention?!

Welp, Okita told me to scream so... AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Oh, apparently, not that... OKITAAAAA! Bet he loved that.

"Aaaaaaaaaaagh!" Everyone, please stop screaming.

Ngl, Sanan looks good with white hair.

Apparently, Okita likes hearing me screaming his name... Good to know...

"Don't worry your little head. It would be my pleasure to help you die." O_O ... Isn't that a little hasty!?!

"You're not serious, are you?" HONEY X_X

"It's really annoying, you know. You think you're part of the Shinsengumi?" </3 Ouch X_X You're the ones who took me prisoner, y'know? However, Chizuru does often act like she's the only one who cares about the Shinsengumi members, which must be annoying af.

"We only keep you alive because you're useful. You are NOT one of us." Uh... Thanks for calling me useful? But is that seriously your attitude? Anyone who's not useful to you should just die? -_-

"His words shattered my already breaking heart." Aw! </3 Poor Chizuru bae!

"Seriously... You can really be a pain, you know that?" RIGHT. BACK. AT. YOU.

"It'd be easier to just kill you," Broken record much?

"Had their last thoughts as men been hope they might survive the madness? It sounded horrible..." YUUUP.

"Sano! Make something up!" Definite DnD vibes again! When you make the low charisma character roll deception X_X

"You're a miserable actor. Keep your mouth shut." I'm sure that this exchange won't seem suspect at all X_X

"Oh, Sanan... Who cares what you are? You're alive!" Bless Kondou's pure and simple heart :')

"Yukimura, you go back to your room. I know you didn't sleep much." Why am I the only person in this game who requires sleep? -_- Just a trend I've noticed...

"*Cough* *Cough*" O_O OKITA, ARE YOU OKAY!??? O_O

"You owe us a lil' booze! Or maybe even, heh, a little... company?" WHERE'S OKITA'S MURDEROUS INSTINCT WHEN YOU NEED IT!?!?

"Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm." BWOOOOOOAAAARP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM!!!

"Calm down, kid." ... NO. I HAVEN'T BEEN TOUCHED IN MONTHS.

"Hey hey hey! Looks like she's got the hots for you, Souji!" Oh Heisuke X_X

"No matter what, I won't buy Ishida Medical Powder." XD Got to admire Okita for staying true to his convictions :')

"I'm using the hell out of you" O_o Calm down, Hijikata X_X

Guess I'm going to have to put stalking Okita on hold for now...

Harada and Shiranui should just kiss already.

""Huh? Chizuru?" Okita looked up from cleaning his sword as I entered the hall." OH, HE WAS POLISHING HIS SWORD, EH? ;P YES, I AM TWELVE. Tbf, his face really does look like he's been caught in the act...

"Oh shut up, will you? It's all your fault. The medicine you gave me totally doesn't w..." >:( I'm hoping that the reason that sentence trails off is because I give him a verbal smack down!!

"*Cough* *Cough*" O_O WELL, I GUESS NOW I CAN'T CALL HIM A CUNT!

BLOOD O_O

"It's nothing." ... BOI!!

This game is totally a forcing-stubborn-men-to-rest simulator X_X

"I'd been given instructions to stay away" from the physical examinations but ho's gotta ho', amirite?!

"Oh my... So you WANT to see those savages? What peculiar taste..." Itou, don't call me out like this. Although, I still feel like we should respect their privacy X_X

"Oh! Oh..." ALRIGHT, YOU THIRSTY BITCH, CALM DOWN.

*Camera zooms in on Nagakura's tiddies* -_-

"Your body's fine, Shin." - Heisuke.

"Don't you wanna order a slice of this beef cake? I got two meaty servings on a plate, right here." Aaaaaagh! X_X My eeeeyyyeees.... Can't... un-read... sentence... please... fetch.... brain... bleach...

"A medical exam is for finding problems, not showing off. Now move." PREACH, SAITO!!!

"I feel like it's rude to intrude..." AND YET HERE WE ARE X_X

"It grants immortality" ??? Except for the part where you turn to ash???

"You're forcing your body in ways the eyes can't see." LISTEN TO THE DOCTOR, GUYS!!!

Everyone's just... RIPPING Takeda to shreds XD

"I'm scared shitless, believe me." :'( Poor Okita

No smart comments here... this is just really sad :'(

He's seen me? It's been nice knowing y'all...

Finally, Chizuru calls out Okita for threatening to kill her so much.

"Desist, you hooligans!" Sen is such a Queen! I want a Sen route!

Chizuru and Sen standing up to these arseholes is giving me LIFE! :') PREACH, GIRLS, PREACH!!!

"What were you going to do if they hurt you gravely?" Regenerate, biatch! >:)

"C'mon, was she that pretty?" UM, YES. But I think that she gives off too much of a domme vibe to be Okita's type :P

Chizuru is getting VERY distracted by Okita's hair. You know those scenes in movies where the woman takes down her hair and it's all slow motion and super sexy? This series has a lot of that. Plus when they get their Western makeovers :')

"That's funny... You don't LOOK like an especially nosy, hand-wringing version of my mother." XD I mean, -_- That totally wasn't hilarious.

"I grabbed his towel and began to scrub his head." ... We totally are his mother X_X

"I feel like I remember a time when you were nice and quiet..." NOT ANYMORE, BITCH! AND NOW, I'M ARMED WITH A TOWEL >:)

"You're really good with your hands." O_o ... What?

"You tied your hair up so quickly..." Why don't you show me what else you can do with them? ;)

Now he wants to know what I think of his hair? :/

OMG, HE'S TRYING TO COPY KONDOU'S HAIR XD I HAVE NO WORDS (for once)

Oh, you're surprised that I kept my promise? I'll have you know that I am an honourable woman, good sir! >:/

But Chizuru's claiming to only have done it out of fear of being sliced and diced? :/Uh, sure?

Chapter 4:

"They're small potatoes." This game has some excellent phrases in it X_X

Itou wanting to change the Shinsengumi uniform because it's not "fashionable" enough is the kind of genius that I'd expect from this game's most relatable character :') Although, I personally think that the blue uniforms are pretty <3

Awe, Chizuru thinks that Okita's joking about killing Itou :')

Kaoru just VERY BLATANTLY giving away that he was involved in the notice board incident X_X

:O I'm slightly jealous to discover that Okita's casual death threats aren't just reserved for me!

I get the sense that Okita knows that Kaoru's a boy but I'm sure that it wouldn't stop him if Kaoru was really a girl. Hooray for gender equality!

"I felt embarrassed for even doubting her for a second," O_e SERIOUSLY??!??

We're just going to let him go now!?!

Now Okita's having a coughing fit D: It was so stupid to run off and make him come after us :(

"What if she had accomplices nearby" GOOD. POINT. Chizuru would be so easy to lure into a trap X_X

"Without me around, you're just a useless kid." But I have a great personality! So, together, we almost make one complete, functioning adult :)

"Stop being so timid." I wish that I had that power :'(

"You can rely on us when you need to." Aweee! ^_^

"even compared to the weakest Shinsengumi foot soldier, I was pathetic." HEY. STOP THAT. WHAT DID I SAY? GREAT. PERSONALITY.

"Did you need something?" "Blood." O_O AH. Well, at least he doesn't beat about the bush! O_O

"What the hell? That's a little cold of you, having that pass for a good-bye, isn't it?" YEAH! :'( MIKI IS RIGHT! </3 :(

"Saburo. Watch your mouth." I'm sure that Miki is sad when Itou dies but 90% of their interactions are Itou telling Miki to shut up. X_X

"Is... Is that okay?" NO. IT IS NOT OKAY. SAITO AND HEISUKE ARE LEAVING, ALONG WITH LITTLE PIECES OF MY HEART. D'X

"would that mean I could never see them again?" *sobs*

"We're going to keep relations amicable between our two organisations." AHAHAHAHAHA HA.

"Okita...?" "... Hm? Damn." Uh, nice to see you, too?

"Next time we run into 'em, we'll probably have to kill each other." O_O Don't be so flippant, you ass :'(

"Swords don't think" damn, I didn't realise that you were sword-kin. Everyone thinks and has feelings. I'm sure that no power could convince Okita to kill Kondou.

"Takeda also left" and not one single fuck was given. :')

Just going to ignore Okita making fun of my "bed head" -_-

"I've come to take you" orly? ;)

"Look, lady, you're not part of the Shinsengumi, so I'd appreciate it if you could keep your nose out of our business." So, now that it's convenient for you, I'm part of the Shinsengumi? -_- I still haven't forgotten what you said before, asshole >:( Remember? HEART = BROKEN.

Sen knows that I'm a SLUT ^_^

"I can't tell if you have guts, or if you've got rocks for brains..." It must be the latter if I'm staying because of you XP

*Terrible decision immediately has lethal consequences*

LEMME GO! >:(

See Kazama post for my COLOURFUL feelings on this cunt >:(

Kondou can be so badass when he wants to be :')

Why... Hello there ;)

"Gotta admit, I didn't figure you for this type of girl." Then you haven't been paying attention ;P

Oh yeah: BWWWWWAAAAAAAARRRRP!!! PHYSICAL CONTACT ALARM!!! And then some X_X

"Didn't think I'd be getting pushed down into bed tonight, least of all by you." Oh yeah? Who else did you have in mind? Kondou? -_-

"Oh no! No no no!" Chizuru, we know you're thirsty and it's okay! Embrace the thot within! :')

"Tell me... How is it? On top of me. Does it feel good?" PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES, PLEASE SAY YES!

"I hadn't realised I was still on top of him." Uh-huh. Sure. And what a terrible shame that was.

"If I go out, Kondou will get mad at me." And then no more bum fun :( (me@me: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!??! me: XD Sorry)

"Okita's eyes shone with admiration for Kondou." X_X The fanfiction writes itself...

Just to be clear, I think it's pretty gross to ship people with their guardians, even if they're both adults at the time, because that's called GROOMING.

"He isn't going to need the Water of Life. I'll make sure of that." ... How, Hijikata?! He's literally DYING of tuberculosis!

And now he's not eating :'(

"I just don't want to. Is that really a problem?" Yes, because you'll starve to death.

"Hm, you are a doctor's daughter... Maybe you just can't leave a sick guy alone?" Or maybe I just don't want YOU to die, ass >:'(

I WILL MAKE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST EAT IT!!! Ooooooh! He's blushing :O

He doesn't like bitter stuff but wants me to put grated radish in his porridge? O_o Well, I'm glad that he's cooperating :D

"I'm only going to eat it if it's delicious." Well, if you don't like it, I'll try again! :D

"Don't think I've given up or something." Okay D': <3

EAT THE FOOD, OKITA >:D

"It makes me feel good..." Hooray ^_^

"Could you keep me company for a while?" :O Okey! :)

"What would I talk about?" HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND...

"He wasn't afraid to die," um, weren't you eavesdropping on his conversation with the doctor? -_-

"I want to help... But I'm getting weaker every day." Of course you do :'( This is more heartbreaking than him saying that you're not part of the Shinsengumi and just annoying DX

Maybe tell him that everybody likes having him around and that the Shinsengumi is where he belongs? Or, we could just leave him to wallow in misery... I guess that works, too X_X

"I couldn't see someone like Okita succumbing to a mere disease." ... Why, exactly? Is he supposed to fight it off with his sword or persuade it to fuck off with the force of his personality?

"He'll be fine. Right...?" NOOOPE.

SAITO 😍 I mean, uh, whatever... Totally not bothered at all...

WAIT, HOLD ON: SPY-TO. Yes, thank you. I am a genius :3

Finally murdering Itou for realskies! :')

I get that Hijikata and everyone are trying to look out for Okita but he's terminally ill. Keeping him out of the action is only going to keep him miserable until his inevitable demise. :'(

"Saito'll be here for a few days, so you'll have someone to play with." -_- Bit patronising, Hijikata X_X

Kazama being his usual, charming self X_X

Let's go find Okita and... Tell him to go back to bed? Okay...

What the fuck!?!! Kaoru!?!!

Do we ever get a decent explanation for why Kaoru was sent to live with some abusive fucks?

Kaoru... Why are you so short? I bet you were malnourished X_X

Okita's just watching this unfold, chomping on imaginary popcorn...

"Do you just plan to use her, like Kazama does?" O_o... I fucking hope not, because that would be INCEST!!!

"... No," OH, THANK GOD.

"What would you have done if I'd said yes?" Ugh, you said no already! Can we please move this conversation in a less incestuous direction X_X

"... No. You're free to take her." OKITA!!! HE'S MY BROTHER X_X Not that I'm expecting you to leap to my defense but this conversation is WEIRD as FUCK.

:O The Ochimizu! Is Kaoru trying to help Okita?! Misguidedly, but still.

"But... if their plan is to simply use my dear sister as some sort of demonic broodmare... I can't allow that to happen." ... Kaoru... :'O That's... Actually really sweet XO This is the first time that someone who claims to be part of my family has actually looked out for me :')

Oh, so Kaoru wants to use Okita to protect me from Kazama! I have a feeling that he's going to be disappointed if he thinks that Okita will do what he tells him to but I appreciate the gesture :')

"Please don't do anything that would hurt Kondou so, Okita." Ugh, even as he lies dying, he's supposed to be worrying about upsetting other people? >:(

"Okita the Fury; Okita the beast." X_X Bit harsh but okay.

"He had traded away his soul." Um, since when? XD

"Happy now, Kaoru Naguno?" "Yes I am." ... Fair.

"... For falling into my trap." Wait, what?!? O_O

"I'm happy I got to make my sister suffer." Kaoru, why? D': WE COULD HAVE HAD IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAA-AAALLL!!! DX

I'm glad that Kaoru did away with the Nagumo fuckers >:( But still, why take it out on me?!

Even dressed as a boy, Kaoru still looks prettier than Chizuru...

*Sigh* looks like I'm being choked, as usual X_X

I feel like Kaoru could easily have given Okita something much worse than the Ochimizu if he REALLY wanted to make me suffer.

"I'd run out of things to say." X_X Again?!

"This was my decision and I don't regret it." That is good to know :)

"You shouldn't get involved with a guy like me." Oh, here we go X_X

"That came out of nowhere," Too right!

"No" uh, does that mean "no, I won't get involved with you" or "no, I won't do as you say"???

Uh, is he crying?! "Hey! You can't just act like you're sick when you want something!" XD What the actual fuck is happening right now???

"I'm dead" ... Uh... Really? Because... You seem very much alive...

"I don't think Kondou wants you around just because he wants you to do things for him." FINALLY, some sense!

Aaaand, apparently, it's earned me The Unblinking Stare of Doom >:(

"Do you mind not trying to speak for Kondou." Do you mind not assuming that he's so much of an asshole that he'd kick you out just because you're inactive during the day?! >:(

"It's not like you're capable of knowing exactly how Kondou truly feels." YES, YUKIMURA!!! GET HIM!! >:D

"Do you think Kondou would still need me... Even if I can't hold a sword anymore?" YES.

"You're right." I know :3

"I'm just jealous of you, Okita, that you have someone like Kondou by your side." Yeah. >:'( Fuck you, Kaoru, fuck you, Kodo :'(

"Oh yeah, huh... I totally forgot." Ffs, Okita XD

"They just happened to be there when you were born, you know?" Yeah! >:( And they can all go to hell!

"Somehow, my chin had acquired something of an arrogant tilt" yaaaas! You live your best life, girl! Let go of the haters, cut out the negativity! Stick it to 'em!

Chapter 5:

"How dangerous could foreign weapons be?" Oh, my sweet, Summer Sanan X_X

"Why are you going on night rounds with us?" ... Wait, what?! Why am I going on night rounds?

AS IF putting myself in danger is going to help Okita in any way X_X

DAMN, KONDOU... Nice, uh, blood you're accessorising with, there. O_O MEDIC!!!

"Lucky for us, they're idiots." Hooraaaay!

Okita's not going to be happy when he sees this...

Speak of the devil...

HIJIKATA, STOP BEATING ABOUT THE BUSH.

"I thought for a moment that Okita was going to grab Hijikata and shake him." :O :D Please yes!

Okita is suuuuuper keen to blame Hijikata for this -_-

"If he dies, it's your ass in the fire, Hijikata." Another excellent image but this pointless conversation has gone on for too long X_X

"I will find you, no matter where you may be, and I will kill you." O_O OKITA!! I THOUGHT THAT YOU SAID YOU WERE CALM!!! Bloody hell X_X

Oh no... What has Okita done now X_X

Killing spree, mad science, aggressive interrogation, Hijikata murder? The possibilities are endless with this stabby boi.

Where exactly am I running to? "I had finally found him." HOW?! With the power of love?! O_o

Looks like "Killing spree" it is X_X

"I'm about to murder you." Ffs Souji X_X

"I'm just doing my job." OH YEAH?!? THEN WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO GO BEHIND EVERYONE'S BACKS, HUH?!

"What's wrong with me doing what I'm doing?" Yeah, what's wrong with sadistically slaughtering a bunch of virtually defenceless men as they attempt to retreat?! -_-

"I just killed people, no matter who it was, as long as it was what Kondou wanted." *Sigh* Kondou's not going to be around for ever, you know? X_X Maybe TRY think about why your doing what you're doing. Maybe learn from Kondou's example?

"Do not ever act out and worry the chief like that again." XD You tell him, Saito!

"Idiots." XD Hijikata

"I didn't wake up until evening had arrived." Oh look, it's me :)

OH, FUCK. That looked like a Kaoru silhouette :O

Why do they keep saying that Kaoru "tricked" Okita into drinking the Water of Life?! Kaoru offered it and Okita drank it. No trickery here!

"They wanted to avenge Itou. You remember him? The man you deceived and murdered?" XD Can't argue with that :')

"shoot the weaker target first." UGH. Why do I always get SHOT!?!

"Call me what you want." Oh, I intend to 3:)

Omg, I didn't get shot! :O BECAUSE OKITA USED HIMSELF AS A HUMAN SHIELD O_O ... BUT WHY?!??

NO, DON'T CHECK UP ON ME! WE NEED TO MOVE BEFORE WE GET SHOT AT AGAIN!!!

Oh no! O_O Doesn't look like he'll be moving any time soon O_O

"Okita! Okitaaaaa!" O_O

"It kills me to see you hurt, just as much as it kills you to see Kondou hurt!" O: <3 :'(

"What an idiot.. " No, Kaoru! You're the idiot! Because you will never be happy while you continue down this sadistic, evil path, wasting your own life trying to destroy someone else's and refusing to let go of your spiteful jealousy >:( At least Okita's risking his life for something good.

"The more despair and anger you feel, the more you look like me." ... Silver linings! :)

D: Did they use silver bullets?! :O

Wait, when did Yamazaki get wounded?! :O

Bless Hijikata for letting me stay with my crush XD

Final Chapter:

Yamazaki is fine :D Hooray!

"They need men, so we need to go now..." Uh... Then why aren't you dressed? X_X

"... I want you to remain calm as I tell you this." That is... NOT AN ENCOURAGING WAY TO START A CONVERSATION O_O

D': Inoue has fallen. :'( It hurts every time DX

Aw, he looks really sad :'( and no wonder...

"as soon as we arrive, I'm gonna swing my sword at anyone and everyone." Uh... That's the spirit X_X

ONWARDS TO EDO