#you not believing that is no one’s problem but your own by denying an objective truth like this

[circeyoru]

Demonic Companion

[Alastor x Human!Reader]

Let's switch it up, this time you're the human and Alastor's back to his demon self

Part 1 (here)

Part 2

Others have an imaginary friend, and you think you got a demon from Hell

You didn’t even do anything, at least it wasn’t your fault. It was your friends’. They wanted to try summoning a demon after watching it on the internet since it looked fun and scary. It doesn’t actually happen, summoning an actual demon, so everyone was fine with it

Except you, of course. You objected, screamed and shouted ‘no’, even saying that there will be consequences. Though guess since everyone was a kid, no one really thought ahead, even when one did -aka you-, there wasn’t much of an arguable point to give out. You’re a kid, they’re a kid, so no authority, that’s the problem

So when an actual demon was summoned, what’s the next step? The demon, or Alastor, as he introduced himself was also known as the Radio Demon. Now Alastor offered a deal in exchange for whatever you and your friends wanted, he’d have your souls. Your friends were quick to agree, except for you, again

What did your friends want? The newest dollhouse, the toy car his parents wouldn’t buy for him, a giant fluffy soft toy bear, and a makeup set. Children, right?

You had unknowingly become the sole survivor of the weirdest and most nerve-wracking kidnapping in the city. How did 4 kids vanish, yet only one remained in an apartment? Your answer that no one believed was the work of a demon from Hell

You tried convincing your and your friends’ parents that, even the police, none believed. All the while Alastor would watch from the shadows and laugh at your attempt. As you grew up, you learned that there was no use and the suvivor’s guilt changed to numbness and indifference. It was your friends’ idea to summon a demon and accept deals without question, so it was never your fault

Though surprisingly, Alastor had stayed by your side since that summoning. He’d pop up from time to time to offer a deal to you, only later on did he give it a break and the two of you got to know each other

When you were of age, you got curious and asked Alastor about your friends’ souls that were in his care. Alastor causally stated that they weren’t worth your time, though he answered, that they were turned to his many shadow minions that serve him. You had asked him kindly if you could see them for a while moments

The second you did, you scolded them and shouted at them. Not caring they couldn’t even react or say anything back. In the end, you dropped to your knees and cried, because deep down, you still missed them. They weren’t bad friends but that stunt they pulled was not worth losing them

Alastor comforted you in his own way until you got over it. “Smile, my dear! You’re never fully dressed without one!” 

You lost count of how many times he said that to you and you questioned it once, well, more like snapped at him that a smile was just a smile, nothing more. Then the moment after had to be one of those intimidating ones. A smile, in his opinion, is a weapon, lets the people around him and his enemies guessing and thinking that he has the upper hand

Still though, above all else, he was the only person that was constant around you, never changing and always by your side. To that you’re grateful for

The relationship between you two was labelled as beneficial. The first time you heard it, you thought he was waiting for you to mature and do things to you, his radio track scratched so hard glass could break. He immediately denies it and says he has no interest in the romantics or sexual side of things. No, he was interested in entertainment, dark ones that would sate his boredom, and that’s what you were to him

At least, until you find yourself a romantic partner

A dainty soul that you had a crush on from middle school. You’d talk to Alastor about them for hours with the shy blush you had whenever you mentioned encounters or moments between the two of you. Your interest grew when you were of aged, being more confident -thanks to your intimating demon friend- and talented.  You had already caught the eyes of other individuals, both men and women, you were just that good!

The radio glitch moment came again when you told the joyous news to Alastor

He had been patiently waiting your return home so the two of you could have that movie night to start off the weekends, something he loathed but managed because you were there. He thought you were in trouble since you were late, but he waited since if you were in danger, he’d know. While you didn’t sign a contract with him, he still protected and cared for you. You would have questioned if he didn’t always say, “Oh, the entertainment you provide. You’re also my gateway to Earth! The poor souls around you for the taking.”

He opened the door for you that night when he heard you dropping the keys, you thanked him quickly and got in, locking the door behind you. You were surprised he was here since you thought you had time to calm down from excitement! Oh well, now that he’s here, no harm done! He’d be happy for you, maybe even relieved, since you wouldn’t be treating him like your diary to rant

“Ohh!! Alastor! The best thing happened to me just now, well, not just now, just now, it’s more like after school.”

“Did someone die?”

You paused in your smile as you froze, “What? No! Gosh, no!” Your mood returned as you grabbed his clawed hands, cupping them as you got close to him, “I have a partner! Like those ones from the ‘picture show’, you know!? Oh, right, no touchy.” You let go as quickly as you held him, missing his outreached hand that tried to hold your hand again, he loved your warmth on his. You turned your back to him as you ranted on, “My crush, now, lover! It’s like those cheesy movies! This is the best day of my life!”

Didn’t you say the best day of your life was Alastor coming into your life? Alastor’s smile was more forced as he listened to you. He hid his hands behind his back, clenching them hard as voodoo symbols appeared around him, more and more as your attention was away from him

“Isn’t it all great?” You had turned around with the biggest smile, oblivious to the rage your demonic friend was hiding. “Oh, I should ask, how’s your situation with Mimzy? You guys a thing?”

Ah, that lie he told you. He wanted to learn more about your romantic preferences but disguised it as him asking for advice on how to woo a demon girl with modern taste. He honestly never even thought about expressing feelings, not after spending so much time with you

“A work in progress, my dear!” Alastor lied. He’d never love that demoness that only came to him when she was in trouble. Not like you, the good and the bad times, you’d go to him, share with him your thoughts, and he can talk his mind to you. It wasn’t like you could betray him with another demon, you weren’t even in Hell! So he felt more at ease with you

“That’s good to hear, I’d love for you to find your happiness since you’ve been helping me so much.” Your heartfelt words melt his dark heart. Just why did that crush of yours hold your heart instead of him? His thought paused as you let out a sigh of relief, “After all, you must have better things to do than visit me up here, without a contract and all that. I think I can handle things from here.”

Were you cutting him off? 

“I have a date tomorrow and I need to be super super ready! It’s a date with my crush now lover!” You hyped yourself up, “So we don’t need have movie night for tonight, or ever. No need to put you through torture, watching a picture box and all.”

Alastor’s silence was a sign of his rage and disbelief. He didn’t think it was torture, it was just masking his excitement to sitting beside you. How he could hold you close when the time pass, how he could feel your warmth beside him, how he could actually relax from his persona and facade

“Is the news too much for you?” You got in front of him, tilting your head. So cutely

“It’s late but, congratulations, my dear!” Alastor beamed, a clapping soundtrack played from his microphone cane. “I knew you would have any soul you wish with that personality of yours! Why, if you could convince a demon such as I to stay by your side without a contract, no one alive can resist your charm!”

“Flattering as always.” You laughed along. You were entirely oblivious to his growing jealousy and envy, and he wasn’t even from the Envy Ring! “You can go back to H-”

“You know what we should have? A feast in celebration of you, my dear, finding love!” Alastor interrupted when he sensed you trying to push him away. Not on his watch. “Now, while you take a nice long bath, I’ll prepare us a meal fit for the occasion!”

“Really?” You asked while Alastor was pushing you to your bedroom, “But you don’t have to.”

Alastor’s shadow twisted as he fought back the urge to scream at you, to take it back, don’t cut him off from your life. “I insist, what are friends for? It’s only fair that I, your long-time companion, share your joy in this delightful surprise.”

Note: There's part 2 cause it was way too long. In the making so will be up later on~ Question, do you guys like fluff or angst or both?

〚Ծ_Ծ〛

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[shaunashipman]

Writing vs. Character

yes i am terribly at coming up with titles

the problem with most criticism of tommy and bucktommy is that, it's coming from a point of view of criticizing the character instead of criticizing the writing. the characters don’t exist in a vacuum, if you dislike a character, it’s either because you are supposed to dislike the character, or the writer/s didn’t do a proper job with conveying what they wanted with the character.

(there is, of course, the third option, where you simply just don’t like a character with no objective reasoning, which is perfectly valid but consistently denied as the reason for the dislike, so for the sake of these writings, we’ll be disregarding this reason)

the writers haven’t succeeded in convincing them about tommy, but instead of blaming the writing, they have decided that their negative perceptions are instead the writers’ intentions.

instead of "tommy's redemption felt unearned because we didn't see enough of the work and I would like to see it addressed" it becomes "tommy was never shown apologizing, so he's still racist"

instead of "the joke felt ill-timed and out of place in what was otherwise a serious emotional conversation, and took me out of the moment" it becomes "tommy made a sex joke during a serious conversation, he's clearly a sex-crazed predator"

instead of "it doesn't fit with previous characterization for tommy calling buck 'evan'" it becomes "buck doesn't like tommy calling him 'evan' and tommy is disrespectful for doing it"

instead of “we haven’t seen or been told much about buck and tommy’s relationship so it seems he put more effort into his friendship with eddie than he does his relationship with buck” it becomes “tommy doesn’t actually care about buck and was trying to get with eddie first”

instead of “buck didn’t seem committed when he said ‘I guess so’ and the realization scene was confusing as a result” it becomes “buck is confused about his own feelings and doesn’t actually like tommy”

I think it's because they feel they can't criticise the writers? cause the writers—tim—are supposed to be the ones giving them this epic slow-burn romance, so they can't be bad writers. it must be intentional. but then they ignore how it doesn't fit with the writing of the other characters.

"hen never forgave him and still hates him"

there's a difference between not liking your friend's boyfriend, and thinking your friend's boyfriend is a racist misogynist. hen has never been shy about telling her friends what she thinks of their SO's, why would she hesitate for a second to tell buck what she thinks of tommy? and the "what are your intentions" scene doesn't count, whatever your reading of it. I mean, why would she not have gone over to his loft, or approached him at the firehouse, and said "hey, this is how your boyfriend was towards me, he's never apologized, and I don't believe he's changed". buck highly values hen's opinion, I'd go as far as to say he values her opinion most after maddie and bobby. hen always has the answers, hen doesn't follow others' leads, she marches to the beat of her own drum. it would take one conversation with her for buck to go and end things with tommy. so saying hen still hates him does not fit with her characterization or the writing.

"tommy ignored buck's vulnerability and made a sex joke"

then why didn't we see that reflected in buck? if we were meant to come away from that scene thinking that tommy was being inappropriate and buck felt grossed out by him making a sex joke during talks of their father figures, why is the last shot we have of buck's face on the date a grin? if that's what they wanted us to come away from the scene thinking, they would have ended the scene with a shot of buck frowning, of him looking vaguely uncomfortable. it would have made a good mirroring of him being uncomfortable less than a minute before about something that tommy said, and tommy noticing and asking about it, if they had shown buck making a similar face when tommy looked away after the comment, but they chose to have the last shot be of his grin.

“buck doesn’t like tommy calling him ‘evan’”

there is no evidence of buck disliking it when anyone except his parents call him evan. maddie regularly uses it, eddie has used, and ali used it. the only people he’s ever objected to calling him that is his parents. we have also seen, in 6x10, his reaction to being called ‘evan’ by someone he expects and prefers to call him ‘buck’, when chimney refers to him as ‘evan’ to pre-emptively keep the parental visit cordial. buck reacts with confusion and amusement, as evidenced by his face at the initial naming, and by him jokingly referring to chimney as “howie”, done so with a smile. no sign of upset in his response. to argue that buck doesn’t like tommy calling him ‘evan’ also doesn’t account for buck never objecting. buck has been shown to be perfectly capable of standing up for himself, and it goes directly against his growth in relationships. he’s not going to settle anymore, and that would include settling for someone calling him a name he doesn’t like. furthermore, tim said they were going for a “rom-com” with bucktommy, and a significant other using their real name while everyone else calls them a nickname is a rom-com staple.

“tommy doesn’t care about buck and was trying to get with eddie first”

all of tommy and eddie’s hang outs were average ‘bro’ hangouts. the only one that required any ‘effort’ on tommy’s part was the fight, which, considering tommy got the tickets from a friend, may be something he does regularly and not anything special; the same could be assumed of karaoke trivia. basketball is canonically something that eddie does regularly, and invites other friends to. there is no textual basis for believing that tommy had romantic/sexual feeling for eddie at any point, which we can see as we have textual evidence of how tommy behaves when he has feelings for someone, buck, for comparison. tommy shows he cares for for buck when he goes to buck’s to clear the air and make sure buck knew he wasn’t intentionally being excluded. he didn’t have to do it, but even as an acquaintance he was concerned about buck’s feelings. while at buck’s he offered to teach him muay thai, and his prior offer of flight lessons was explicitly referenced as something he still wants to do, showing that tommy wanted to spend more time with buck, even prior to confirming the feelings are romantic. after the failed date, if tommy didn’t actually care about buck, he could have either simply not agreed to meet for coffee, or turned buck down when asked to the wedding. a wedding, especially one for the family of your date, is an extremely hectic emotional affair. many people would not go with someone they had only been dating for a few months to a close family member’s wedding. before the wedding, tommy attended the bachelor party despite being on call. first responders on call generally spend that time resting in anticipation of being called in, as unless something happens to a responder on the clock whose position needs covering, being called in means there is an emergency that won’t allow much if any rest. which is exactly what happened. from context, people including tommy, left the bachelor party somewhere between 9pm and midnight. the hospital wedding couldn’t have happened any sooner than early evening, even at exaggerated tv speeds. with tommy coming to the hospital in his turnouts, so directly from the fire, that means he was fighting the fire for between 20-24 hours. that is in addition the being awake for at least 2-3 hours before being called in. it would be perfectly understandable, especially to a wedding full of first responders, if he simply went home, showered and slept. but he had a chance to show up for at least some it, so he did. if we were meant to believe that tommy didn’t care for buck, they would not have had him show up, and they wouldn’t have shown how much of an effort it was for him to show up.

“buck is confused about his own feelings and doesn’t actually like tommy”

buck wasn’t confused about liking tommy, he was initially confused about the nature of his feeling for tommy, platonic vs romantic, as he was not aware that romantic feelings for men were an option for him. but after the failed date when speaking to maddie, he responds first generally about men—that he checks out men’s asses—then, unprompted, he begins listing things he likes about tommy—that he’s confident, interesting, and has a cleft—both physical and personality-wise. if we were meant to believe buck didn’t actually like tommy and was just caught up in realizing he’s bisexual, then they would have had buck stay to generic things about men. by the time of his talk with eddie, at least 3 days have passed since the failed date, and almost a week since tommy kissed him. and yet when asked, he says he can’t stop thinking about tommy. they could have had him say something non-committal, something that could be read as him liking tommy while still being ambiguous, but they had him explicitly state that he has been thinking about tommy frequently since the kiss. and finally, the coffee date. a date that buck initiates, where he states that he thinks he and tommy could have something. while he uses the word “thinks”, that language is in line with many rom-com love declarations, and tim has stated he wrote the storyline with rom-coms in mind. buck then invites tommy to maddie’s wedding, which was not spontaneous as he would have had to clear the invite with maddie. all of which would reasonably lead the audience to understand that buck has in fact examined his feelings for tommy over the course of several days, and settled any confusion he made have initially had.

the writers may or may not have done a good job, that is always up to interpretation, but it is undeniable what their intentions were

[toskarin]

A question of curiosity - assuming you play them due to your involvement with a bunch of them, what are your favourite kinds of characters (be it mechanically or narratively) to play in TTRPGS? And do you have any associated anecdotes to go with them?

courtesy readmore

mechanically kinda depends on what's on the menu, but if it's combat-focused, I personally really enjoy characters who "deny" things

not really the kind of character who I'd ever expect a GM to put in their element on purpose (I usually make a conscious effort to remind the GM of things I'm capable of so that I don't trample on any fun setpieces) but definitely the kind of character who modifies objectives just by being in play. I also like magic-users in concept, but that's more of a flavour thing

I think that's reflected a good bit in the kind of narrative play I enjoy, too. when I make a character, I prefer to do it with the rest of the party in mind, less to make the character "compatible" and more to make them sharply contrast in ways that encourage the other characters to have moments where they can reaffirm who they are (both in narrative and out of narrative)

there's a fine balance to strike here. on one end of things, you risk yes-manning so hard that the party quickly becomes a problem solving engine with a single striking surface. on the other end of the things, you risk being The Chaotic Neutral Guy

the space in the middle there represents the characters that people often want to regularly interact with, but rarely want to play. the sort of character who isn't actively disruptive, but raises a lot of red flags when they suddenly show enthusiastic agreement for what you're doing. the kind of character you almost need a diminished sense of discomfort to play without getting in your own feelings about

I adore playing characters who are catered to find plot hooks in other players' characters and tug them just enough to pull them to the surface

most parties have characters who disagree on things that aren't easily resolved. that's always fun, but (because people courteously tend to avoid conflict) it's very rare for those conflicts to come up without GM prompting, and "create productive conflict between two characters without leaving out the rest of the characters or starting a fight between players" is often an equally uncomfortable situation for a GM

lots of fun directions to take it!

have an arc that would benefit from a character taking charge but their player doesn't feel comfortable just Doing That? it helps to have someone else try to take charge who obviously should not be allowed, just to get everyone behind the alternative

have someone with a pure heart who doesn't really get to show that in a party of players who don't want to be mean? maybe someone who's a little more morally-compromised could give them a window for explaining what they actually believe

have a character who's part of some mysterious cult that nobody else is going to find the time to look into? the party could benefit from having a nosy character to justify cracking open that backstory

GM needs to fuck something up to remind the party of how dangerous things are? why not add to the mood by showing what your often-cold character looks like when something manages to actually upset them

[WARNING: DOING ANY OF THIS WALKS THE PRECARIOUSLY THIN LINE BETWEEN BEING COMPELLING AND BEING ANNOYING]

observant readers (well, those who have followed for a while) might have noticed I periodically go on rants about the much-maligned "evil character in a good party" and how both sides of the argument represent a communication and courtesy breakdown. that also very much ties into this sort of thing. I won't go over Tolerable Villainy 101 again, but you get the idea

distilled, I like playing the sort of thoroughly worldly bastards who often end up important in their own right, but mostly on accident, by virtue of being important to what makes other characters compelling

[sanemisstalker]

SANEMI and GIYU, but they're into you and still kind of gay for eachother? Polycule Headcanons. Kinda NSF_W.

(rip to the girl at the ortho that had to watch me write these) I don't really care for giyu x sanemi until they're like, fighting over a third party. Idk they give classic shoujo love rivals to me. I'm like, actually so delusional for this threeway, the idea eats me alive everyday. Anyways-

-Sanemi fucking hates Giyu, and Giyu hates Giyu, so atleast they can bond on that. You, however, don't really hate either of them. If anything, you're just... vaguely amused by their individual antics. Vaguely.

-more apparent is the annoyance, not hatred, very needed distinction, and the attraction. Both of the men are very annoying in their own special ways, and very attractive in equally individual ways.

-Sanemi's low-boiling attitude, but also eerie sense of confidence gave him enough unspoken Charisma to win over most who could get past the first couple of hurdles. He's disastrously goregous, and the scars only add to not only his general mystique, but also his crippling beauty. They're like trophies he's tucked away.

-Giyu is the kind of man to deny being called pretty, but his face isn't subjective. Despite his lack of general social skill, moments spent with Giyu where he's soaking in every piece of information you give him, those begging eyes and lips parted in thought. Most would call him concentrated, you'd argue he's understanding.

-Sanemi is attracted to Giyu's off putting personality rather directly. Though not the picture of social awareness himself, Sanemi's attraction to Giyu started as a pity of sorts. Watching Shinobu rail him for breathing was comedic, but kind of heart fluttering for Sanemi. There was something about Giyu that read as lost. And Sanemi found himself growing slightly protective. He'd never say that, though.

-Giyu didn't know if he was a masochist or not, but there was something about Sanemi's occasional outbursts that both annoyed and enthralled him. Even as Sanemi sought his guts on the ground, Giyu found himself admiring the man's starch emotional drive a little too queerly. Those loud moments and mumbles were all the same. A man unashamed to speak whatever came to his mind.

-Sanemi also finds Giyu to be incredibly pretty after a kiss. Giyu's got this starry, empty eyed look on his face after every kiss Sanemi gives him. Completely liquid in Sanemi's hands, but entirely defiant about it.

-And Giyu loves that feeling. More than anything, really. Well, maybe he loved the feeling of your eyes landing on the two of them in one of their occasional spats... more.

-neither of them were stupid. Not to eachothers tossed looks or yours.

-Sanemi was the first to approach you. He was gruff and defiant, despite coming onto you of his own accord.... well, he didn't really come onto you, but when it's Sanemi, those 'stay away from me for your own good's are indistinguishable from puppy dog eyes and pleading cries.

-Sanemi admits he was stupid to believe this wouldn't cause problems. Suddenly, you were all over him. And he really enjoyed it, even if it struck fear into his bones.

-Giyu was sure this was simply another thing he'd failed at. You nor Sanemi owes him anything, but seeing you both... interact. God, he'd rather you all just fuck infront of him. How unlucky could he be that both objects of his desire turn to eachother. It was what he got for being selfish. This was god returning his stupidity.

-but then you made your move on him, and Giyu didn't remember entirely how he ended up sandwiched between you and Sanemi, hands in places that made him nervous... but he wasn't going to bite a feeding hand.

NSFW

-Sanemi's sex drive is notably larger than Giyu's, but he's much less likely to initiate. Having the both of them willing and in the mood isn't rare, but it is something you have to work for. So most times, you all are having individual sex.

-Sanemi is more likely to sit out and watch. It's impressive, really. His self control. He almost looks lulled by the act. Comfortable, but hard. It's like a practice in denying temptation.

-You and Giyu love to give head. Sanemi is often left with cum dripping down his thighs and a blushing cock that drips with spit while you and Giyu makeout above his nearly unconscious body.

-On really desperate weeks, Sanemi will cum upwards of thrice a day.

-None of you have strict sexual dispositions, which leads to some interesting situations.

-Sometimes Sanemi is fingering both you and Giyu at the same time. Sometimes Giyu is burying his cock deep inside of you while Sanemi is next to you, cucked and degraded. Sometimes you will the men to perform particularly embarassing tasks for each other just to see their faces get red.

-Sanemi once instructed Giyu on how to fuck you correctly, moving Giyu's hips for him, rubbing your clit so Giyu could 'focus'. You and Giyu both came crying because Giyu wasn't allowed to stop until he got it just right, resulting in both of you overstimulated and brain dead by the endof the night. Sanemi praised your performances thoroughly.

-The day Giyu wrestled Sanemi to the ground was particularly arousing. Sanemi had a shocking pliablity you all hadn't seen before. He submitted so willingly to Giyu that it was almost tear inducing. Giyu couldn't help but fuck him into the ground for wearing such a submissive face while you held his head against your own groin, Sanemi making quick and enthusiastic work against your sex.

-you once convinced both of them to serve you as topless maids. You can't even recall how you got Sanemi to do it, but God be damned if you weren't delighted when they knlet down by your legs while you sat, eagerly awaiting your next command.

[the-s1lly-corner]

What would be the reaction of Alastor, Charlie, Lucifer, Adam, Vox, Husk and Angel to a reader who has diction problems, like where they confuse words for others because they forget the name of the objective and mispronounce it...

Note: I have diction and my friends when we are playing together always laugh at me for doing these things... I just wanted to know

Various HH characters x reader who struggles with words

God I felt this request so bad, I'm bad when it comes to words/speaking them, usually it's the long pause and struggling to actually start saying the word hisshiss.. also sorry for not doing all the characters asked for!<\3 requests are limited to only 3-4 characters <\3

Characters: Lucifer, Charlie, Husk

Notes: reader is GN, admin admittedly does use their experience to write out the readers experience so!! Obligatory his experience isnt universal!

CWs: none

LUCIFER

hes very similar to his daughter in regards that hes pretty patient with you, finishing your sentences is like second nature for him

its a little sweet that he visibly looks proud of himself for helping you out

while charlie will gently try to remind others that youre still talking, lucifer is going to be more bold and just say it out loud that you werent finished

will not tolerate any disrespect thrown your way, he will at minimum give a dirty look if someone is even slightly rude to you

if youre fine with a friend teasing you, its best to let him know that otherwise hes going to be giving the stink eye to said friend the entire time

hes... going to be a little.. confused on it but hes not going to stop you from indulging in the humor

CHARLIE

shes so so patient with you and doesnt push you to try to get your words out faster, sometimes she even offers to finish the sentence for you if a certain word or two keeps evading you

though she will keep from doing that if you express that it makes you feel bad about your struggles, and she'll be sure to apologize in that case

if theres anything she can do to help you, just let her know! shes going to do everything she can to accommodate you- not only because youre staying in her hotel but because you two are close!

makes sure people give you the time to get your thoughts out, and will advocate for you if the conversation is moving too fast before you can speak

HUSK

more often than not hes going to let you finish talking on your own, only really offering to help you find a word if its clearly distressing you

its not so much fear of overstepping, its... something else, its hard to explain... likely because hes so used to being the only one taking care of himself, that he applies the same mindset to others- you can help yourself, you can get the words out

at least he believes in you! thats something! of course he doesnt deny your struggles, thats the last thing hes going to do

will give you the chance to stand up for yourself if the conversation carries on without you, but if it happens over and over... and youre clearly hurting, hes going to snap at the group to remind you that youre still in the conversation

is it a little confrontational? yes, but hes not exactly known for being gentle

[demensrage]

"i didn't believe in love at first sight until i saw you" ⚊ kaeya x fem!reader

summary: serving mondstadt had always been one of his priorities, love was never one of them. watching hopeless romantics talk about their other halves seemed absurd to him, that is, until he met you.

note: english is not my first lenguage, sorry for the grammatical mistakes ꩜.ᐟ

word count: 2k. Enjoy it!

First meeting, both connected by duty.

The day could not have been worse. for him, it is important to take care of Mondstandt, but sometimes he just wants to rest. He doesn’t remember the last time he was able to sleep without someone interrupting his dreams.

He was walking slowly, while his mind was in a place far from the earth, until he felt several objects collide against him, bringing his thoughts back to solid ground.

He quickly turned his eyes to the floor, where he saw a girl desperately picking up books. That was when he first believed in love at first sight. While helping you gather the books, and as you mumbled words he couldn’t understand, his heart threatened to leap out of his chest. He had never felt so nervous around anyone before; you were clearly the exception.

"I’m so sorry, it wasn’t my intention to bump into you. lately, I’ve been very distracted by all the accumulated work," you said. at that moment, your gaze met his—those beautiful blue eyes with a special glow that you couldn't quite decipher.

You were a foreigner, a scholar from Sumeru. you had recently arrived in mondstandt to study the dried leaves of ley lines. You needed to determine if there was any difference between those from your land and those from other territories. Your future graduation depended on it.

He took a quick look at you, a few inches shorter than him, caramel skin and pretty curls as black as the night itself that fell over your shoulders, as well as beautiful brown eyes. He wanted to run his fingers through your locks, maybe play with them a little, follow the shape of each strand of hair just for his own satisfaction.

“No problem, after all, accidents happen. Do you need help with that?” he said, with all the self-control his mind could muster just to be by your side.

Everyone notices it, except you.

Things escalated quickly between the two of you. It was easy for him to be by your side and work to earn your trust. He just had to be himself, protect you, and help you with your thesis.

He spent long nights helping you, even though he wasn’t a specialist in biology. Still, he made attempts to assist with the writing, and though it may not seem like it, he had a skillful writing style—perhaps from helping Jean too. but that was enough to make you happy.

But he no longer asked to be by your side just with the excuse of helping you—not at all. It became a basic need to want to be around you. Physical contact became natural between the two of you, and it was common for him to escalate from walking together to holding your hand.

“We should visit that little restaurant they opened the other week,” he proposed, his fingers intertwined with yours, his thumb making small caresses on your hand. “Sure, if you’re available tonight.”

The indiscreet glances of the people around you confirmed what you preferred to deny, but everyone saw two lovers instead of two friends.

"I was just thinking of inviting you to dinner tonight!" you exclaimed excitedly. and that was fine, for you it was.

It wouldn’t be the first time you’d gone out together, much less to dinner. Although you’ve both been lucky enough to try each other’s cooking, your jobs don’t allow you to spend much time in the kitchen.

For Kaeya, spending time together was enough to brighten his heart. Every morning, he looked forward to seeing you again, and if he had a little free time, he’d make his way to the place he knew he’d always find you, the library.

That night wouldn’t be any different from the others, he thought. But after five long months, something was about to change. When he picked you up, it was hard for him to hide the red that filled his cheeks. He was enchanted by the sight of you; you were beautiful in his eyes, and that was all that mattered.

His eyes sparkled again in the same way they did when you first met. and you smiled at him with love, because that night, while you were getting ready, you felt nervous—wanting to look good for the man who had started to make your heart beat strongly, for the same man with whom you had the pleasure of resting in his arms on stormy nights, or simply because you wanted to be there, held by him.

The first kiss was the most beautiful thing.

It was a rainy day; however, you two had a good time at home. your stomach hurt from laughing so much at kaeya’s jokes, while you tried to finish arranging the living room so you both could enjoy watching something while he prepared the popcorn.

But the rain had other plans for you. in the dark, with only the light of the lightning illuminating the room, you looked outside while eating the snack for the little marathon you had planned at home.

He was curled up against you, both of you sheltered by the soft blanket. His warm body gave you a sense of peace and security, and his hands slowly ran through your hair as you turned your face to look at him.

Your eyes met, and time seemed to stop in that instant. It was just the two of you, and no one else. as always, he gave you those sweet smiles he reserved exclusively for you. One of his free hands moved to your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. It was inevitable not to take his hand and kiss the inside of it.

You smiled at him with the same love he had shown you. The fruits of quality time, support, and growing closeness were enough to unite you both. And as he looked into your eyes, his gaze couldn’t help but linger on your lips.

He wondered if they felt as soft as they looked, if he should kiss you, and express his love in a much more intimate way.

His heart raced as he gently cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs tracing small circles on your cheeks. The closeness of your bodies, the warmth of his touch, and the gentle rhythm of your breaths created a cocoon of intimacy around you both.

With a tender smile, he leaned in slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. You could feel the gentle pressure of his lips against yours before they met in a sweet, lingering kiss. It was a kiss filled with love and tenderness, a soft caress that spoke volumes more than words ever could.

The world outside seemed to vanish as you lost yourselves in the kiss, your hearts beating in unison. It was a kiss that left you both breathless, a beautiful moment of connection that felt both exhilarating and comforting. as you pulled away, his eyes held yours with a promise of more moments like this, a silent vow of deepening affection.

He fell first and harder.

Things started to be different between the two of you after that night. Without words, you both knew something had changed, even if neither of you wanted to put a label on it. The relationship became more intimate, closer, as if the days between the two of you now revolved around a connection you couldn't ignore.

He had fallen first, and he had fallen hard. Slowly, your things began to appear in his house. A piece of clothing of yours on his chair, your books on his table, and before you knew it, spending time with him had become the most natural thing in the world. More than just an occasional visit, it was like you were weaving your life into his.

Mornings began with the aroma of the coffee he made, while you settled into his arms, enjoying the warmth of his body. Everything seemed simple, fluid, as if it had always been meant to be that way.

Sometimes you caught him looking at you, with that charming half smile you knew so well. But now his eyes said something else, something you had never seen in them before: a deep affection, a love that didn't need words to be understood.

Even though you never spoke openly about what you shared, you both knew it wasn't just a friendship anymore. What he felt for you went beyond that, and he showed it in every gesture, in every look, in every time his fingers absentmindedly played with a lock of your hair. He had fallen for you, faster and harder than he probably had planned. And even though he didn't say it out loud, he made it evident every day.

As time went by, it became more apparent that he had fallen first, and that in his case, there was no turning back. Every time he looked at you, his gaze was not only filled with affection, but with a deep need to be by your side. The small moments—a brush of hands, a shared laugh, a midnight conversation—were more than that to him; they were confirmation that what he felt was not fleeting.

But what disconcerted him most was how easily you had become his world. Without realizing it, his life revolved around you. It was no longer just about helping with your work or enjoying your company, but about needing you, longing for the days they spent together, and feeling an emptiness when you weren't around. When he slept, he would wake up looking for you by his side, and when you were far away, his mind would be filled with you.

However, he never puts pressure on you. He knew that not everyone falls at the same time or in the same way. You wanted him too, he felt that every time your fingers intertwined with his, or when you sought his embrace after a long day. But while he had completely surrendered to what he felt, he knew that maybe you still needed to take that last step. And he was willing to wait.

You tell him I love you for the first time.

That morning, as you both lay wrapped in each other's arms, the soft breeze slipped through the white curtains and the dawn illuminated the room with a gentle warmth. The world outside seemed to be on pause, as if it were just the two of you, breathing in sync, sharing a comfortable silence filled with meaning. The first rays of sunlight drew golden lines across Kaeya's skin, who rested peacefully beside you, a barely noticeable smile on his lips, as if he were thinking of you even in his dreams.

You, however, could no longer sleep. Your heart was beating faster than usual, and it wasn’t just because of his physical closeness. Something inside you had changed, something you'd felt for a long time but hadn’t found the courage to express until that moment. You watched him as he slept, his lashes lightly brushing his cheekbones, his breathing calm and deep, and you couldn’t help but feel a whirlwind of emotions filling your chest. The certainty of what you felt became so strong that you could no longer keep it inside.

Sliding your fingers gently along his arm, you felt Kaeya stir a little, still with his eyes closed but more aware of your touch. The moment seemed perfect, and even though your throat was dry and your thoughts raced in every direction, you knew there was no turning back. You loved him. You had loved him all along, and he deserved to know. He deserved to hear the words that had been trapped inside you, waiting to come to light.

"Kaeya..." you whispered, your voice barely a murmur, unsure if he was awake. Slowly, his blue eyes opened and looked at you, drowsy yet curious, noticing something different in your expression. "Is everything alright?" he asked in that soft tone, with that tenderness he only showed to you. The brightness in his eyes gave you all the courage you needed.

Taking a deep breath, you felt the warmth in your chest. "I love you," you finally said, the words spilling out with an honesty that made you feel lighter, freed. You realized that no matter how he reacted, you needed to say it, you needed him to know. "I love you, Kaeya. I have for a long time... and I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore."

For a moment, everything seemed to freeze. Kaeya looked at you, surprised, but with a softness you hadn't seen before in his eyes. His usual smile faded, giving way to something deeper, more genuine. Then, without breaking eye contact, he raised a hand to caress your cheek, his thumb tracing a warm line across your skin.

"I know," he replied softly, as if he too had been waiting for this moment. "I knew before you did." He smiled, resting his forehead against yours. "And I love you too... so much that sometimes I can’t even imagine what my life would be without you."

Silence settled between you again, but this time it wasn’t the previous silence of uncertainty—it was one filled with unspoken promises, with shared feelings that no longer needed words. You moved closer to him, your lips brushing his in a slow kiss, full of affection and mutual love. There, in that room bathed in the light of dawn, the two of you found the peace that only true love could bring.

And as you stayed curled up in his arms, feeling his heartbeat in time with yours, you knew for certain that this wasn’t just a fleeting dream. It was real, it was yours, and there were no more doubts or fears to stop you from moving forward with him.

© 2024 demensrage. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[mochiimadness]

Hey, I dunno if your still taking requests but I have one!

What about s/o having hair like Entrapta's from She-Ra? I would love to see how they would react to their s/o with that!

Hello, I'm sorry for the long wait! I'm finally getting around to answering old requests, before opening new ones.

I haven't seen She-Ra, but I did look Entrapta up, so I hope I haven't gotten anything wrong!

Neon Leon

Leo is both insanely fascinated over your hair-

But also, very very terrified at first.

Remember when Leo wore that blond wig that ended up being completely and utterly evil??

Leo does.

Leo has flashbacks of this when he first sees you using your hair to grab a mug off the counter that was just out of hands reach.

May or may not have screamed.

"S/o, I don't mean to freak you out but- YOUR HAIR IS CURSED!"

"What- wait no it's just-"

"Don't worry- I got this!" he says, as he whips out his sword

Cue panicked screaming from everyone in the room as Leo attempts to 'save' you

He really thought you were in danger okay-

After managing to convince Leo to not chop off your hair,

You have to explain to him that your hair isn't actually cursed by some weird dude looking to steal stuff

"I was born like this, I can just make my hair move and stuff."

Cue Leo's suspicious squinting.

He does believe you! He just cant help peaking around corners detective style to spy on your hair at first.

Once he gets use to it tho, he's got to admit, having hair you can use to grab things jussst barely out of reach is amazing!

His jaw drops when he realizes you can fight using your hair too-

Your hair wraps around a rather slippery warthog mutant and launches him several feet away

Leo is staring in shock and possible fear

They'd been trying to get a hold on that mutant for ages, and you just managed to grab him no problem???

And launch him like a soft ball???????

Mad respect

Enchanted/cursed hair or not, Leo's just glad it's not using you for evil!

Plus, you seem to be having fun, so he's cool with it now.

Don Tron

Donnie's insanely curious about your hair

Absolutely runs some tests and experiments (with your permission ofc)

He's seen you lift mugs and smaller objects-

But what's the weight limit???

Is it like a muscle that can be trained to lift more over time????

Is it possibly sentient?!

You let him come up with new theories

But as soon as the conspiracy board and red strings come out,

You're lifting him with your hair and carrying him away for a break.

He loves when you help him out in the lab

Using your hair to grab and hold tools or parts

It's similar to using his spider arms, but 10x better since it's his s/o helping him.

Your hair also inspires him to make a different version of his spider arm battle shell-

This one using a more fluid movement to match your hair!

He lowkey looks like Doc Oc...

Villains do their best to avoid you both

Having one person who can grab and yeet them away was bad enough-

But now there's two??????

They are sprinting as fast as they can

Not fast enough though!

You're able to use your hair to grab and swing from walls, catching up to villains with ease

Donnie's impressed, you didn't even need a tracking device!

You two also found out another trick you could do,

You're able to use your hair as a extra set of arms- so you both came to a realization

You could use your hair to hold more controllers.

You two need an extra player???

Bam, you're holding two more controllers

Donnie cackles manically every time you two score extra points using this method

Is it technically cheating????

Maybe

You can't deny it takes a lot of skill and practice to do though, so who cares?

Not you and Donnie, that's who!

Mystic Mike

:0 !!!

Your hair can move?!?!

Please please show him what you can do!

Absolutely loves seeing all your tricks

From lifting a mug, to scaling a building-

He thinks you and your hair are awesome!!

One day, he's literally in the middle of talking to you when he interrupts his own sentence in a huge realization-

"So then I chased them down on the shells hogs and- WAIT WAIT HOLD THE PHONE-"

"Holding."

"NOW ANSWER IT!"

"Hellooo?"

"You can use your hair to paint!!!!"

Cue both of you jumping up and sprinting to his room

You can, in fact, use your hair to paint!

Whether it be using your actual hair as a paintbrush,

Or holding multiple brushes and items at once!

It makes art time ten times more efficient- but also extremely chaotic

Sure, now you both have easy access to art materials, but now your hair can literally spin everything

The guys entered the living room one day and saw it absolutely covered in buckets of paint

You are now banned from holding stain causing items in the common areas and Donnie's lab.

When you two go fight together

Mikey quickly learns that you can use your hair to help climb and scale buildings

Which leads to you crawling upside down on a ceiling at full speed, with Mikey floating beside you, at enemies

There are high pitched shrieks whenever you join the battle

You may or may not be a local cryptid now.

"S/O, they're calling you a spider mutant!"

"Nice."

Big Red

Like Leo,

Raph also thinks your hair is alive

Though, he's more concerned than fearful

If your hair is alive, then should he ask it if he can pat your head??

You reassure him that your hair is not alive or sentient

He's still wary about it though

Definitely gives it suspicious looks when you're not looking just to test it

When you catch onto this though, you start moving your hair 'without your knowledge' just to play around

Raph shrieks

"I KNEW IT!!!"

You'll have to explain that you were just pranking him lmao

He does realize that your hair isn't alive eventually though.

Is genuinely impressed by what your hair can do

Especially when he realizes you can lift heavier objects too

If you're able to lift him with your hair, he'll scream

Definitely has a fanboy moment

"WHAT!? How is it so strong?!?"

Even if you can't lift him with your hair,

He's still impressed!

Throughout the day, you'll use your hair to grab things that are out of reach and hand it to him

Usually it's subconscious,

Like when he just barely got into a comfy spot after a long patrol and realizes his phone is just out of reach

You grab it and hand it to him offhandedly

Or when he's sleeping and the blanket slips off, you'll reach around to pull it back up and make sure he's covered

He appreciates these little gestures so much

Absolutely warms his heart and makes him a little misty eyed.

During battle,

He sees you literally form a fist shape with your hair and deck a rather aggressive yokai right in the face,

Sending them flying down the street

Raph will stop and stare in awe

"Woah!! S/O that's amazing!"

He's so proud of you

Then he realizes the hidden city police are making their way towards the two of you

Cue both of you hauling it towards the nearest portal

"GO GO GO!"

"I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL!"

Hey everyone, I'm going through my old requests and writing them. I can't promise I'll get to all of them, but I'll do my best when I have time!

Sorry for the huge wait, life got crazy

[car1no-xx]

Pedri fluff where the reader is a player for Real Madrid womens team? 😈

Amor Fati (Pedri x RM fem!reader)

On a weekend trip to Madrid, Pedri runs into someone he rather wouldn't. Little did you two know fate had other plans.

Warnings: none

A/N: Hi beautiful anon, thank you for the request! I made this into a little enemies-to-lovers thing, hope you don't mind. Just a reminder my requests are open, and to submit any requests you'd like before I start studying for final exams for the next 3-ish weeks yuck

~~

The morning was gloomy and foggy, much to your dismay. You loathed training in this weather, preferring the sun to keep your energy up and keep you motivated during the long hours of practice. It was a Friday, and to lighten your mood given the abysmal weather, you decided to treat yourself to a cappuccino before practice, hoping it would get you through the next few hours before the weekend officially commenced. You didn't mind showing up to the coffee shop in your training uniform - the baristas knew who you were, and so did the regular customers. You were grateful to them for never asking for your signature or pictures, especially in the mornings when you were still groggy, the bags under your eyes much too dark for your liking.

You grabbed a seat by the window, looking outside at the lush trees that decorated the Madrid streets. You mindlessly touched the embroidered badge on your jacket; you couldn't believe this was your life. A fan of Los Blancos since you were ten, you jumped through hoops and hurdles to get to the women's team. Being a woman in football was already hard enough - to play for Madrid, even harder. Then, a rough voice interrupted your daydreaming. "Sí, con leche, porfa." Yes, with milk, please. What was that accent? Definitely not from Madrid, you thought to yourself.

"Didn't expect to find you here," the voice said to you. You turned your head, your eyes going dark with the realization of who was standing in front of you. La madre que me parió, you quietly cursed to yourself. The mother who bore me.

Pedri. Barca's gifted, almost coddled midfielder. If your eyes could roll any farther back in your head, they'd likely fall out. Couldn't you just drink your coffee in peace? The thought of speaking to anyone, not to mention Madrid's rival, soured your mood even more.

"I literally live here. The question is what you are doing here," you spat.

You couldn't deny he was objectively attractive - his neatly trimmed eyebrows complimenting his almost raven-colored dark hair. His dark brown eyes that had a little sparkle in them when he spoke. One problem: you knew he hated you. Found you arrogant, too smart-mouthed for your own good. The feeling was mutual.

"Oh, you live here, in the coffee shop?" He was mocking you. "I'm here for the weekend, for no reason in particular but wanted to see how this precious city of yours is faring after all those losses," he said nonchalantly, shrugging.

That cappuccino you held in your hand was about three seconds away from landing on the hair he probably spent hours carefully combing this morning. Incorrigible prick, you thought to yourself. "If you expect me to fall over my chair laughing, you're sorely mistaken," you said, waving a dismissive hand towards him, hoping he'd get the message. Instead, he pulled up a wooden chair and sat across from you.

Would it really be a waste of my four euros if this coffee ended up on his head right now?

"I don't expect anything from you. Well, actually, maybe just a bit more pep in your voice. Thought you'd be happy to see me, bonita," he smirked. "We had fun at that party, didn't we?" That party. The one where you drunkenly ended up making out with Pedri for a total of twenty seconds a year and a half ago, only to quickly leave without saying anything else to him. It meant nothing. Less than nothing.

"That was fun for you? That was just me drunkenly making stupid decisions."

"Nevertheless," he winked.

"Don't flatter yourself. I don't doubt you took another lady friend home that night."

"Jealous?" That smirk, you thought. Slapping him would definitely take that smirk off his face, but you weren't keen on being charged with battery today.

"Enjoy Madrid," you said, rolling your eyes. And with that, you got up and left the coffee shop.

~~

"What do you mean I'm still out for the next game?" You quietly raged at your coach the next day. Friday sucked, running into Pedri and all. Today was apparently even suckier.

"I'm sorry, y/n, but the physiotherapist still thinks you need time to recuperate."

One month you were out with a knee injury. One month too long. You understood it was normal for athletes to succumb to injuries now and then, especially with the demanding pressure put on your bodies, yet you couldn't help but feel terrible and utterly useless. More than anything, you wanted to play - even being benched was borderline an insult to you, your competitive nature always coming through and wanting to deliver your best with every match, every practice.

"I'm ready to play. I've been finishing the full practices, doing my exercises regularly. I'm ready," you said through gritted teeth, trying to keep your tears from seeping out. Don't let them see you cry. Don't show them any signs of weakness. No one wants a weepy player on their team with no bite, you thought to yourself. Perhaps a not-too-healthy way of thinking, but you knew the cutthroat nature of this sport, the constant comparing of female football players to the male ones. Miraculously, you managed to keep your forming tears at bay.

"I'm almost certain you will be ready to play the next game," your coach explained. Slowly nodding, you walked off the training pitch. If you were a cartoon character, you were sure steam would be coming out of your ears.

That night, you wanted to let loose, to drink away your anger and sadness. You told yourself a trip to the local bar with your girlfriends wasn't a bad idea, and so off you went. Despite your foul mood, you put on a navy blue high neck silk dress and strappy heels. The cut-outs on the side of the dress made your toned abs peek through. You felt confident, felt unstoppable.

Strutting up to the bar, you ordered tequila for yourself and your friends, looking forward to letting the alcohol take your mind someplace else other than the fact that you still couldn't play. Then, a light tap on your shoulder.

"Didn't think someone so cold could look so...inviting," the voice said close to the shell of your ear. Pedri. It was almost alarming how you managed to recognize his voice so quickly. You tried to ignore the tiny little butterflies his voice so close to you made you feel, how your stomach felt the same a year and a half ago when he kissed you in a drunken state. Feeling butterflies towards a Barcelona player? And such a cocky, smug one at that? Blasphemy.

"Pedri, por favor. Are you resorting to stalking me now?" You snarled.

"Bold of you to think you'd even be worth my time," he retorted. "Just funny how we keep bumping into each other, no? Fate trying to tell us something? Although fate doesn't know I'd never be with someone with that much arrogance."

"I'm the arrogant one? Please - you make some goals here and there and suddenly you're Barcelona's shining star and now you think you're God's greatest gift to mankind. Do me a favor, Pedri, eh? Go hit on someone else," you said as you turned around, pushing him away from you and wandering off back to your friends.

A shot of tequila in one hand, your friend's hand in the other, you stormed to the dance floor to try and salvage the night and your mood. Yet, you couldn't help but feel that Pedri's eyes were glued on you as you started moving on the dance floor, the alcohol overtaking your body. Although instead of dulling your emotions, the alcohol and music only heightened them. You started thinking - no, overthinking - about your work, your health, everything, on the dance floor. "I need some air," you called out to your friend.

Sitting on the sidewalk outside of the bar, your emotions started to overtake you. You couldn't hold back your tears, and yet you didn't fully understand why.

"Pasa algo?" Did something happen?

You didn't need a second glance to know who was speaking. You only shook your head. Pedri sat down next to you on the sidewalk, silent, and handed you a napkin he had in his pocket. Then, "Ordinarily, I'd say something to rile you up. But I don't like seeing anyone like this."

You were a bit shocked at his cordiality. "It's fine, don't worry about it."

He paused, then slowly moved his right hand to lightly rest on yours. His touch was soft, gentle. You hardly expected it from him, given your constant bickering and slight animosity anytime you saw each other, save for the one takeout session. You turned your face to look at him, and instead of the usual mockery in his brown eyes, you saw...was it understanding? Yearning? Empathy? You couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"It's obviously something if you're on the sidewalk crying. Dime." Tell me.

"I just...sometimes I don't know why I play. What I do this for. This goddamned injury, it just makes me feel so useless, so helpless," you sighed, your fingers running through your hair. He nodded.

He chose his words carefully before proceeding. "I know the feeling. The uselessness, the anger, the eagerness to get back on the pitch. But maybe these things happen for a reason. To make us...stronger? Although I know it doesn't feel like it now." He paused, then said, "If you need someone to talk to-"

"I'm surprised at your offer, given that you've made it clear that you hate me."

A faint smile tugged at his lips. He gently rested his hand on your knee and looked into your eyes. It felt like a lifetime before he said, "Maybe I don't hate you, after all. Maybe I've enjoyed our banter, but really all I've wanted to do was kiss you again. And I haven't admitted it to myself until now." His hand carefully moved from your knee, gently cupping your face, seeking your approval. For the first time, you didn't want to swat his hand away. Carefully, you leaned in and kissed him, your lips softly meeting each other before deepening the kiss just a bit.

As you slowly pulled away, you said, "You know, instead of sassy remarks, you could just ask me out."

"You've got yourself a deal," he smiled as he put his arm around you and pulled you in, your head resting on his shoulder.

You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that. You thought to yourself that maybe coincidentally running into each other wasn't too bad. And that maybe, just maybe, fate wasn't such a bad thing, either, after all.

[sneezemonster15]

What do you think of this?

I was oddly disappointed when I came across this.

I honestly feel sorry for anyone who couldn't see what this story was all about. They missed out on so much, they missed out on emotions and feelings that could have been their unraveling, a catharsis, something that could have led to a more accepting heart, a more sensitive mind, a sharper intuition, a keener emotional intellect.

This story is about Naruto and Sasuke and their bond. A bond that changes their current corrupt and chaotic shinobi world for the better. That they were fated and are soulmates is not a SNS headcanon, it is an intricate part of their dynamic, their portrayal. It's literally canon. They are supposed to be yin and yang, they are fire and wind, sky and earth, they are light and darkness, sun and moon, they make each other stronger emotionally and physically, they are the main act. This is all literally text.

The point of this story is that true love transcends all constructs made by humans. True love is a greater motivator than hate and revenge. True love is the solution that will bring the world together, that will finally break the cycle of revenge and hatred and bring about peace. Even if this concept has its own problems, the point is, that's what Kishi wanted to portray, at least till chapter 699.

What would even be the point of this story if Sasuke was shown to not love Naruto? Like apart from all the symbolic and literary elements, the larger narrative itself will be cancelled out if Kishi meant to show only Naruto as obsessed with Sasuke, no?

So why do these fans think this way? Denying the narrative, denying the story, denying the visual imagery, denying the characterisation of the hero and the anti hero, denying the major themes that make this manga, denying the whole point of this manga?

Projection and/or they are almost incurably dumb.

Like I don't know how many lies they have had to tell themselves to believe in their wacky theories. Their sense of comprehension is worse than a tween's. And given that a lot of them are adults, it is so embarrassing for them. Like if I were in their shoes, I would go back to school. I would burn all my degrees in the society bonfire. I would spend all my savings to relearn about the world.

Like if 700 exclusive freaking chapters of Sasuke and Naruto's bond weren't enough for them to get this story, they should maybe burn all their books. Apologies, I doubt they read. My bad.

One really doesn't need to be a media expert to get that they love each other. All they have to do is to be open minded and read the story for the story itself. Literally, one doesn't have to put any extra effort. Leave the extra effort to the bloggers and analysts who write about the literary, socio-political, narrative and visual influences and such. Just do your part. Just be the reader. Follow the story for the story's sake. That. Is. All.

But you know...fans will be fans. They find a character hot, so they would project, self insert, be dumb, deny, whine and cry, fight uselessly, embarrass themselves on public platforms, reveal themselves to be raging idiots of the first degree, etc.

Anyway.

Thesis statement of this answer : Naruto loves Sasuke and is surely obsessed with him because - Sasuke inspires it in him. Sasuke is equally obsessed with Naruto, and one would think it is subtle and it certainly is as compared to loud Naruto, but objectively, not subtle AT ALL.

At. All.

Sasuke is so in love with Naruto, is so damn crazy about this funny, cute, earnest, raw and determined little urchin, that his brain practically turns to mush when he sees him.

You know why Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto in Shippuden? He keeps saying that Naruto is his closest friend, his one and only.....friend, which is why he needs to kill him. Why?

Because Sasuke is so in love with this boy, that he self-sabotages his goals when it comes to Naruto. It has been a damn pattern with him from DAY ONE.

Naruto is Sasuke's WEAKNESS.

Sasuke trains so hard, resolves to accomplish his goals so determinedly, promises himself to be strong, but when it comes to Naruto, all of it goes right down the drain. And it is a BIG problem for Sasuke. A practical problem. Because how is he gonna accomplish his goals if Naruto keeps coming in his way, distracting him, making Sasuke's knees weak, his heart thump, his eyes tangle with Naruto's gaze, his mind completely focused on Naruto's every move?

Team seven formed. Naruto and Sasuke hadn't even spent much time together exclusively. Naruto had just been an ass to Sasuke, kissing him in public and embarrassing him (Why didn't you beat him up Sasuke? You clearly said you would lol) then tying him up, gagging him and impersonating him, but what does Sasuke do when he sees a perennially hungry Naruto? This.

Even though he very well knew that he would be disqualified and wouldn't be allowed to train as a shinobi which is required for him to get stronger so he could one day, kill Itachi.

#self-sabotage

Sasuke goes on his first important mission with the team, and ends up protecting Naruto from the bad guys like a damn romantic hero on the way to land of waves country, tries to match his pace with Naruto while blushing, worrying for him, training with him at all hours of the night while everyone else including Sakura is resting, and he is having fun at it too, asking him for help and not Sakura who is 'supposed' to have better chakra control (only because she has a very small amount of chakra as compared to Sasuke and Naruto), and then out of nowhere, freaking sacrificing his life for him. He really was totally prepared to die for this boy at age 12. For love.

#self-sabotage

His "Body moved on its own."

Naruto couldn't believe his eyes. Naruto was still oblivious as to how Sasuke felt for him before this point so he was flabbergasted at Sasuke's sacrifice. But Sasuke can't actually tell him he loves him, that would be so embarrassing for him. Lol. Hence the awkwardness later.

But Naruto now knows Sasuke really cared for him. He valued him. And so what happens?

Sasuke inspired this in him. It didn't come out of oblivion. That's not how it works.

Then comes the forest of death arc. And we see how much Sasuke and Naruto work in close partnership, how much they know each other, how their instincts are so attuned to the other, especially Sasuke. Sasuke is certainly an observant person but his knowledge of Naruto is just too accurate. Not just his appearance (and why wouldn't it? Just see how much Sasuke stares at Naruto throughout, because it's too difficult for him to escape that 'gaze' of his lol) but his mannerisms, his insecurities and weaknesses.

His laser sharp focus on Naruto is so evident. And it's not only that, he goes OUT of his way to protect Naruto.

These fans should really ask themselves if this was really needed. Naruto was being flung around by a transformed Gaara left and right before this. And Sasuke was already injured and completely out of juice. Naruto would have gotten bruised at most here. Why would Sasuke go so out of his way to cushion his fall? And why would Kishi make Pakkun point it out too? Sasuke doesn't do this type of thing for ANYONE else. Absolutely no one. So what impression does it make? How exactly do these fans read this scene? Or they just conveniently ignore whatever doesn't satisfy their agenda? That's how denial works lol.

Sasuke retrieval arc. Not only is it remarkable that the entire arc is about Naruto trying to protect Sasuke, to bring him back so that his life isn't jeopardized at the hands of Oro, but just the sheer amount of space and footage Kishi gives to vote 1. Eight freaking chapters. A world famous manga where every single panel counts, eight chapters were devoted by Kishi to make sure that their bond, the intensity of that bond, their intimacy comes out clearly. Why? Is Kishi dumb? Like these fans are? No. He wanted to make sure that absolutely no stone was left unturned for the reader to understand what their bond is really about and how freaking intense it is. The whole point why Naruto simply couldn't digest the fact that Sasuke would actually be trying to kill him, was because Sasuke, at every point, SHOWED Naruto how important he was to him.

Naruto simply couldn't compute that Sasuke would do this to him. And this is exactly why Naruto was pushed to say - Can you kill me calmly, Sasuke? in a big ass panel. So much build up man. Like goddamn. Kishi put so damn much emphasis on it because of this. Why?

Because it was contradictory behaviour. Naruto couldn't believe Sasuke would even consider killing him because of the kind of insane lengths he went to, to protect Naruto. Even at the cost of his own ambition and freaking life. Why would Sasuke do it for him? Why would Sasuke jeopardize everything that is important to him, killing Itachi and restoring his clan's honour ie, for someone he doesn't care about? Does this look one sided?

I mean if even after all this, one feels so convinced that Sasuke doesn't care about Naruto in this manga, maybe go back to reading Archie? lol.

And even after the fight, the crazy power ups, what with breaking out hidden strengths with Sharingan evolution and kyuubi chakra and kyuubi cloak and curse mark transformation, they fight and fight, their faces incredibly pained at hurting each other like this, and Sasuke manages to overpower Naruto with SO MUCH effort........all for this.

Sasuke hovering over an unconscious Naruto. This scene has so much tenderness, so much emotion, so many panels were drawn to highlight this emotion. The clouds finally breaking through to give way to a beam of light that centres on Naruto's face and then gently fades away, while Sasuke is standing atop Naruto, looking down, at his face as he lies there unconscious and injured at the hands of Sasuke. As rain patters down on Sasuke's face, he says with such anguish and emotion - Naruto, I.....

But then dramatically falls down on his knees as the aftereffects of his curse mark make themselves known and ends up right over Naruto's face, looking at his closed eyes with so much pain and longing.

What was that about? Is Kishi stupid? Are all his editors stupid? What about the publication house? So these fans are the only smart ones in the universe? That must be it. Lol.

Think about it.

Sasuke was planning to kill his closest friend at Itachi's suggestion because that would have given him access to Mangekyou Sharingan and he would have come much closer in strength to Itachi, right? Naruto was completely disabled, right at Sasuke's mercy. Sasuke had the PERFECT opening. Sasuke was one second away from gaining that power. Something he battled hard for. Like hard hard. But what did he eventually decide? He decided not to.

Why? Do fans not see the contradiction in Sasuke's behaviour? Why would Sasuke have abandoned the perfect opportunity of gaining the power required to kill Itachi, someone he was absolutely ITCHING to kill, in favor of training with Oro, a man he despises, a man he very well knows has evil intentions towards Sasuke, for THREE fucking years when he could have skipped all of that here by killing Naruto in a matter of seconds??

Why?

Because he loves Naruto. Sasuke decided if being powerful enough to kill Itachi meant that he would need to kill his most precious, his usuratonkachi, then he would rather come up with his own way to become stronger. Even if it took him waaaay more time and effort, even if he could taste the desire to kill his brother on his tongue like blood, even if it meant giving up his body to someone like Oro, he would do it if it meant Naruto would still keep living.

#self-sabotage

During the reunion, he tells Naruto that he would give his body to Oro over and over if it meant he would be able to kill Itachi. So all of THAT is acceptable to Sasuke but not killing Naruto. Sasuke is not Itachi. Sasuke is his own person, and he would make his decisions based on his feelings, he will not pander to his brother. Because he is him and he loves Naruto.

But that didn't stop him from being entirely devastated at being separated from Naruto. Crushed. Heartbroken. As he is shown having left Konoha and entering the darkness, his face, paralleled with Naruto's own as he is carried away by Kakashi, shows his true feelings about separating from his most precious person. Someone with whom he feels like family.

During their reunion, Naruto asks Sasuke why he left him alive? Why he didn't kill him off? Naruto knew Sasuke had the best opportunity to do it. But he didn't do it. Naruto knew very well that Sasuke didn't kill him for the same reason he protected Naruto all those other times. Because Sasuke really cared for him, he valued Naruto.

Sasuke deflects. He tells him he doesn't need to explain it to him. Naruto looks skeptical. Then he says he left him alive on a whim. And of course Naruto doesn't believe him. Naruto knows Sasuke is lying. Is Sasuke a person who would do things on a Whim? Is that how he is characterized in the manga? What other thing did he do on a whim? Sasuke says that even Oro was not powerful enough to take on Itachi, let alone himself. He could have made things so much easier for himself if he had killed Naruto and gotten MS, but no. If Naruto didn't mean so much to him, what was stopping him to kill Naruto? Even when the stakes were so damn high?

When Naruto asks him why he let him live during the reunion, Sasuke is actually struggling to answer him. He feels vulnerable. Look at his face when he says that emotions weaken a person, causes confusion. He knows this from experience. Because he couldn't kill Naruto. He again sabotaged his own objective, like always, because he just cannot bear to have Naruto hurt. He just cannot. Someone who couldn't even let Naruto be freaking bruised by a tree trunk, who cannot even let Naruto go hungry for a mere few hours even at the cost of his own freaking disqualification, can he kill Naruto so easily? Heh. The narrative is doing its work. Sasuke is a simp for Naruto man. Even if Sasuke isn't able to say what he feels due to self preservation and his own tsundereness, the reader knows the truth. How? Because we aren't blind or stupid. We know how to read. We enjoy stories and storytelling.

The crux of it all was that Sasuke wasn't able to kill Naruto even though it would have had been really really advantageous for him in reaching his goal. But. At what cost? By killing Naruto? No way in hell. Heh.

Honestly, Sasuke says everything himself. No one has to look anywhere else. He knows Naruto is his weakness. He simply cannot help himself when it comes to Naruto. That's why he says he needs to cut him off in vote 2. As long as Naruto is alive, and keeps getting in Sasuke's way, Sasuke would never be able to help himself. Everytime Naruto comes along, Sasuke's objectives and goals take a backseat, in fact, go right out the window. Sasuke is defined by love, led by love, motivated by it, inspired by it. Itachi taught him how to hate. But Naruto was the one who caught his nerve, who reached his heart, who made him warm and fuzzy, who taught him to love, to accept love, to let himself be loved. By Naruto.

Sasuke says he will be the darkness, and live on by eating the ashes. He needs to be the darkness to be the true hokage, that's his goal. But how can he be the darkness if Naruto, the light incarnate, fills him with the light of his love? With his warmth and care and affection?

Sasuke's actions towards Naruto are often contradictory. During the reunion, Naruto is urged by Kurama to draw on his power, but Naruto resists and then Sasuke (who just couldn't stop staring at him throughfuckingout) enters his mind space and makes the kyuubi retreat. Why should it matter to him? Why should he even feel the need to be there? He already knows that Naruto has a special power. So he glided down like an angel, hugged Naruto (which he really really didn't need to do), whispered in his ears (why are you here Naruto when you could be out there training huh? huh?), and then was so damn focused on him that Yamato found the opening to attack Sasuke even though Sasuke is a person thoroughly anal with being on guard all the time?

#self-sabotage

And I only mention this because Sasuke's character is already established as someone who is not a touchy feely guy. When a character does something out of character, it registers itself in the reader's mind. You simply cannot deny it. Kishi put so much effort in writing and drawing him, do these fans think all this comes out of oblivion? No thought, no idea behind it? So if Sasuke is made to do something out of character, there must be some reason for it, no? Except when it comes to Naruto, it is in character for Sasuke to do something he doesn't rationally intend to. Because love is not rational.

Sasuke was already reminded by Sai of Naruto. Sasuke is told that Naruto is still looking for him. And then Sai proceeds to disparage Naruto, and how does Sasuke react? He genjutsues his ass. Lol. Don't you think it is a disproportionate action for Sasuke to do this if he didn't care about Naruto?

Like when fans are used to big actions, big gestures and big reactions, which are typical of shounen, they often miss out on more subtle actions and reactions. But just because they don't see them doesn't mean they aren't there. I am sorry (not) but SNS fans cannot be blamed for other fans' ignorance and incompetence at media comprehension.

This might be subtle by shounen standards but it's not that subtle. These fans would certainly benefit from watching a wider variety of media. Learning more about how narrative and visual language works. If they can't see that Naruto and Shippuden are a love story, it's a problem, for them. Because what a waste of their time and energy.

Sasuke looks at the Great Naruto bridge and smiles fondly. Why do you think Kishi put this panel here? Why was it needed? What purpose does it serve? Every panel counts right? When Sasuke is told of Naruto defeating Pein, he smiles like he is proud of Naruto. Why? What was even the need to do that? If Kishi means to tell the audience that Sasuke wants to kill Naruto because he hates him or doesn't care, why the hell would he put these panels there so strategically that give exactly the opposite impression to the viewer, and the impression that they give is completely consistent with how Sasuke acts with him in part one? I seriously cannot fathom the amounts of denial these fans must need in order to simply erase and sweep these multiple moments, scenes and dialogues under the rug.

What is even the point of reading this manga? And what exactly makes them so righteous about it too that they have the audacity of criticising SNS fandom for shipping the boys? Who told them they could do it? Who the hell are these people to say shit like this? Who told them they had the qualification? Because the comprehension that they show indicates they should still be reading nursery rhymes. Like learn how narrative works, learn how imagery works, learn how a scene works, learn how mise en scene works, learn what an arc is, learn how characterization works, learn how literary tools and tricks work and THEN talk about it if you are so sure. But hell, if they actually cared to learn all that, they wouldn't be saying this shit. Hell, don't do any of it, just be honest with yourself. That is enough. But no. They are way too precious for that. Learning is beneath them. Lol.

Ignorance breeds more ignorance.

Sasuke saves Naruto during the war arc over and over again, even when it wasn't needed or doing it with so many extra measures, they were unnecessary, so much so that even Naruto is taken aback by it. Why? What impression does it give to the reader? Isn't it reminiscent of part one, when Sasuke saved Naruto from the evil tree trunk? Because he is just so damn protective of his precious boyfriend, his one and only........friend. Lol. This is how narrative works man, psychological and emotional manipulation. That's what storytelling is all about, and talented writers/storytellers/creators understand the concept of perception very well. Perception of text, visuals and sound effects.

Think of the story as a patchwork rug that is patched with complementary coloured pieces of fabric stitched with connecting threads that bring out the brilliance of the rug. An audio-visual story or a film works the same way, where the visuals/scenes are thoughtfully edited and joined together with strategically placed complementary visual effects, text and sound effects to bring out the messaging and impact that the storyteller wants to convey to the reader. The talented a writer/creator is, the smoother and believable the narrative is, the more perceptive he is, the more his intent comes out and makes itself known to the reader, the greater its impact on the reader.

Kishi wrote them as the main act. That is the truth. Everything is intentional.

During vote 2, Sasuke is so damn emotional fighting with Naruto. He climbs on his lap and punches him senseless, and Naruto takes it. It's obviously a parallel to vote one when Naruto climbs on Sasuke's lap and punches him senseless and Sasuke takes it. Does this look like a normal fight? Where else do players fight like this in the manga? Any other example?

No.

It's an emotional fight. They are not fighting for political reasons or to prove a point. The fight is emotional. Just like vote 1. Both are nerve wracking. Emotional overload. Mind short circuits. Lol. Here are two characters who are experiencing them and I can't even read about it without curling on my bed and holding my torso tight because it's just too much man. And I am not easily affected. I have seen all sorts of melodrama and I thought I was immune. Fortified. But damn Kishimoto, he just wrecked me. Sigh.

This sort of reaction doesn't come out of oblivion. Fans who say shit like the one in this ask, have no idea how much effort and thought and emotion it takes to write something like this.

Sasuke didn't show this type of emotion even when he was battling Itachi. He was composed and in control. But with Naruto, he loses it. Why? Because he is doing something he doesn't want to. Not in the heart of his hearts.

Killing Naruto is a requirement for him because for him, Naruto has become an emotional liability. He loves Naruto despite his better judgment. He loses all perspective when he is with Naruto. No matter how strong his convictions are, Naruto makes his heart flutter. His resolve weakens. That is why he left Konoha in the first place. He says to Naruto - Did I get stronger playing around with you?

Hatred towards Itachi was his motivation to get strong enough to kill him. But if Naruto kept making him fall in love more and more, how would he kill Itachi?

The whole reason Orochimaru separated them was because Naruto was changing Sasuke, meaning, he was healing Sasuke.

Naruto and only Naruto, had the power to do that. If Sasuke had completely given over to his feelings for Naruto, no way he would have been able to carry on his revenge plans. A heart filled with love cannot hate. Unless that love is taken away forcefully, then the love transforms into hate.

Naruto tells him he simply won't let him be alone. Naruto understands why Sasuke wanted to kill him. To be alone. To be devoid of love. Love would have been a hindrance to his goals. But it would have meant unending loneliness for Sasuke. Darkness. Pain. Misery.

And Naruto wouldn't have it. No way siree bob. Not on his watch. Naruto loves Sasuke. Beyond comprehension. Just like Sasuke loves Naruto. He simply WON'T let Sasuke be alone because Naruto understands what it means to be lonely. That was the point of their intersection in the first place. Naruto won't let Sasuke be alone because he cares for Sasuke's well being. If Naruto is obsessively in love with Sasuke, and he IS, and proudly too, it's because Sasuke simply won't be swayed with anything less. Naruto had to have immense amounts of love for Sasuke to counter the immense hate in Sasuke. If you want to call it obsession, fine. But the more appropriate term is - Devotion. Something that Kishimoto himself uses when he makes Yashamaru explain love to Gaara. It's called context building.

Sakura? Can she even compare? With Naruto? Bah. She was prepared to kill him in kage arc when Naruto was preparing to lay down his life for him shinjuu style.

She made every confession to Sasuke about herself. Naruto made it about Sasuke. If it weren't the case, Sasuke wouldn't have listened to him in the kage arc. Sasuke was bent on killing Sakura and Kakashi, drunk on power and grief, but he calms down when Naruto confesses to him. And accepts Naruto's proposal. Are these fans telling me Sasuke is shallow and stupid enough to fall for it if he didn't care? Will they not give Sasuke the agency to make the right decision for himself? What he wants to do? Will these fans take away from his intelligence by saying shit that goes against his characterisation and arc development? So Kishi is wrong and these fans are right about him? Lol. The levels of delusions.

When Naruto tells Sasuke that he hurts when Sasuke does, that he hurts so much, he cannot stand it, look at Sasuke. Why would he be so taken aback? Why? Why is he so affected if he didn't care for Naruto? When Sasuke asks him why he goes to such lengths to save Sasuke, Naruto tries to distract him from it and Sasuke gets triggered. Is Sasuke really a person who would get triggered like this if he didn't feel for Naruto? Sasuke asks Naruto with such delicacy and hesitance - But what does friend mean to you? Why does he want to know? How does it matter to him if he didn't care?

Why would Kishi write this stuff in this conclusive chapter? Is it meaningless? Does it not say anything about Sasuke's character? Like I know people twist it and twist it some more, but really, the simplest explanation is always the right one. It might not be as direct, but if you really gather all the data and compute it without prejudice, you can and definitely will see it for yourself. Storytelling can be layered you know. Why be as bad as those dudebros? Even dudebros call him Susgay. Because even if they cannot comprehend much more than that, they can feel it. Why? Because that's how Kishi wrote him. That's how storytelling works.

Dang, when Naruto assures him of his love for Sasuke and his trust in him, Sasuke cries. Fucking cries man. Is Sasuke a person who would emote meaninglessly? The only other person who affects him enough to make him cry is Itachi. Are these fans saying that Itachi meant nothing to Sasuke?

Notice how at peace he looks when he says - I have lost..

Why should he feel at peace? Why? Because he finally accepts love. He is convinced of it. Naruto reminded him of his bonds with his family, something he always wanted, something he missed deeply when they had gone. But now, he can let himself feel it again.

Kishi had already thought of this ending back in 2009, or even before. Not a retcon. Regardless, if these fans had any sense, they could tell it from the story itself.

In conclusively significant chapter 698, in Sasuke's monologue, it is finally revealed that Sasuke, after all that he did to and with Naruto, had always had an eye on Naruto. He had had always felt weak for him. He felt warm and fuzzy. He resonated with Naruto's loneliness. Every little thing that he did for Naruto, all his sacrifices even when the audience couldn't really find commensurate with their dynamic back then in part one, were revealed to be Sasuke's acts of love for Naruto. Because this boy had been loving him since then, since they were eight years old, even when Naruto had no clue. He didn't ask for anything back, nothing in return, he just LOVED. As he knew how to. Not with big declarations of love and guilting the other party, like Sakura or Hinata for Naruto, but with actions and genuine heartfelt emotions. Because that's what unconditional, genuine, devotional, true love is all about. Isn't it? Naruto's zeal, spirit and desire to connect made him think about his bonds with his family, the centre of his emotional core. And it grew more and more as they trained together and fought together being part of the same team. Naruto had reached the core of his heart when Naruto was not even aware of it. Naruto's own acts of love came much later. But Sasuke's were just there, even when the audience couldn't clock it out. This is how Kishi wrote Sasuke. THIS is Sasuke's character. His stans think they really get Sasuke, think he should be a single man and get rid of annoying Naruto. They DON'T get him AT ALL. Sasuke is about love, that he had been giving Naruto unconditionally all this time. Without asking for any thing in return. Because that's who Sasuke is, because that's how strong and selfless his character is. Because he is a fucking legend of a person. He learnt something at age 8 that takes people a lifetime to learn, despite all the odds he faced. Despite Itachi's every attempt at filling him with hate, Sasuke knew how to love. Sasuke IS LOVE.

If these fans don't wanna see it, it's one thing. But don't come for the SNS fandom. This story is a love story. About them. There are more than a dozen literary romantic references, drawn from Asian media and symbology, very evident to people who know about it already. So all of that is wrong and these fans are right who can't even fucking read right? Do I give them a badge of honour? Yep, bravo. Lol.

I have done a lot of cringey shit in my life, but fortunately for me, there's no evidence left except in my own memories. Sad thing is these fans will potentially grow up one day and see it all differently. And mark my words, they will cringely cringe at their cringeworthy behaviour and takes. Which is all DOCUMENTED for everyone to see. Lol. Nothing much they can do about it. But they can always learn. To be better.

Conclusion -

If Naruto is, as they say, obsessed with Sasuke, it's because he learnt from the best of the best. Sasuke. 😏

[linkspooky]

What do you think of Sora Siruha character? Before this chapter, i thought Ishida seems wants us to think of her character as a tragic hero and a character that is fallen after leaving yamato mori, but then he drop a chapter where she committed genocide when she was still in yamato mori, so i wonder what do you think of her character?

Sora Siruha is an interesting character because Nietzsche would have hated her. Yet she's still seen as morally ambiguous by both characters in her own story and members of the audience. Not that you're wrong to see her that way but Nietzsche sure did hate it was religion. So, perhaps the literal nun, with angel wings, with cross tattoos, and a black halo that doubles as a crown or thorns might be a bad guy in the Nietzsche manga.

That's not to say that she's irredeemably evil, it's just ironic the Choujin X of her generation named after the "ubermensch" represents the antithesis of a lot of Nietzsche's ideas.

Nietzsche famously called Religion the opium of the masses. in Nietzsche's view suffering was not only good but necessary to life, because it aspired people to grow and anything that promised avoidance of suffering alcohol and religion for instance stagnated growth instead of promoting it.

Religious suffering is at the same time an expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the sentiment of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.

So, it's not coincidence in the Nietzsche manga that Sora who has so many religious associations tied to her is also, an opium addict who cannot survive without it's pain numbing effects.

If by Nietzschian philosophy pain is a part of the human experience, then by losing her pain, Sora Siruha also lost her humanity which is heavily implied to be part of the cause of her mental spiral.

One other thing associated with Sora is that she uses what are primarily utilitarian views to justify her atrocities - something else that Nietzsche hated as a philosophy.

So Sora believing that her future visions will come to pass goes on to committ atrocities in order to avoid even greater atrocities. Let's say that her visions are in fact one hundred percent correct. That Sora killing 200,000 people would avert the deaths of 2,000,000 or more.

Sora's reasoning in this case is purely utilitarian.

Utilitarianism actions are morally permissible if: They produce at least as much or more net happiness as any other available action. Everything should strive for a balance of happiness over suffering.

By Utilitarian reasoning her actions are morally permissible. Sora herself does not want to kill Anitise, she takes no joy in it, but she believes like any utilitarian she's responsible for bringing the most happiness over suffering to the world.

However, even if Sora's vision was 100% correct and by pulling the lever on the trolley problem and killing 200,000 she saved 2,000,000 Nietzsche would still have a bone to pick with her moral reasoning.

Nietzsche famously hated Utilitarianism. because it ignore the value of suffering, which strengthens the man. He saw that doing every and all actions for the sake of the "greater good" was something that denied the individual and discouraged individual development.

Nietzsche's criticism is that value is not something that can be quantified or proven. You can't mathematically measure in an objective sense, the suffering caused by your actions, the benefits caused by your actions. There's no universally agreed upon value for human life.

What is the "unit" of one human life?

Why are the 2,000,000 people that Sora saved more worthy of life than the 200,000 that she killed. What justification can Sora have other than "that's a smaller number." A person among the 200,000 killed could have grown up to cure cancer. Of course, even if the 200,000 weren't especially talented people, even if they were all going to grow up to work at mcdonalds why are there lives inherently worth less than the 2,000,000 that sora decided to save?

Sora is not a nihilist, she is a pure-hearted utilitarian who's actions are taken to give pleasure to as many people as possible but one more obvious criticism of her moral reasoning in choosing to sacrifice the few to save the many is that she is not an unbiased judge of values.

For example, if Anitise really did become a mad king then who would his victims have been? If he invaded Yamato Mori and killed 2,000,000 then why are the 2,000,000 lives of the Yamato Mori citizens he killed worth more than the 200,000 people that Sora killed preventing his invasion? It would be because being a citizen of and responsible for Yamato Mori Sora is unconsciously biased to put her own nation above Anitise's kingdom. In that sense, she's not really acting for the greater good, but rather the national interests of her country but she's still posing herself as a savior figure.

Sora goes on to commit these atrocities, while also continuing to see herself as a savior and believing she's operating from a higher moral viewpoint than everyone else. Yet, you can easily point out where her biases are as I just did.

In addition to the fact that we have no way of knowing if Sora's visions of the future actually are true. The fact that there are two people with future seeing powers (three if you count Tokio's dreams) who can see different things then points to the fact that Sora's visions aren't 100% true. However, even if you give her the benefit of the doubt that her prophecies were going to come true if she didn't do something, you can still make moral arguments against her actions as I just did above this section.

Sora is also extremely biased in other ways. In her origin story, she saw a vision of Queem coming to burn her convent, and was unable to stop it from happening. This clearly has affected her for all of her life, as even when presented with direct evidence that her prophetic dreams might not be true (such as another seer who disagrees with her) Sora doesn't even consider that possibility or hesitate to commit atrocities, because she's still guided by her guilt over being unable to stop her convent from being burnt.

In Tokyo Ghoul, Yoshimura once theorizes that Ghouls and Humans are psychologically the same, but because Ghouls live violent lives they eventually lose their empathy and stop seeing any value in human life as a coping mechanism.

I think Sora's slow corruption makes sense through this lens, not because of her future visions but rather because of the amount of power she had.

Choujin e aren't any different from human psychologically, they experience human emotions, but convince themselves they are different because one they're prone to get in more violent situations, and two the power they wield leads to them developing superiority complexes.

Sora plunged herself into war and had to walk on too many corpses in order to get stronger and gain the strength to fight Queem, but it's clear she didn't stop there after Queem was defeated. After Queem died Sora became the war-monger, and why? Her visions provide us one reason, but like, Sora didn't consider alternative means like diplomacy or warning anitise of what she saw? She just jumped straight to launching a modern day crusade against a foreign country, why?

Was it just easier for her to consider a military invasion because after having been through the hell of war, 200,000 became just another statistic to her?

What other reason than she had the power to do so, and Sora's superiority complex told her she had the right to wield that power however she chose to do so.

Sora and her savior complex, provides an uncanny mirror to Queem and his choujin and his choujin supremacy doctrine. Sora may have believed herself invading Antoland in order to prevent a future disaster, but when has a foreign country invading a soveriegn territory "for their own good' ever historically been a good thing. Sora may not have preached choujin supremacy but her actions don't make her too much different from Queem in the end.

Then, there's the possibility that Sora's prophecies might not even be nearly as true or certain to happen as they think they are. One of the birds basically spells it out to Tokio, that humans wanting to know the future is just wishful thinking.

Which puts Sora's absolute certainty in a new light. Is Sora's beliefs in her prophecies just a longing for control, the kind of absolute control over the future that nobody in the world but god is supposed to possess. Sora wanting to take God's place in knowing the future and being able to control her destiny goes all kinds of wrong.

I'm reminded of Attack on Titan where Eren coming into contact with the paths and being able to see the past, present and future at the same time doesn't give him godlike power, but reduces him to a helpless child. Eren's ability to see the future ends up bringing into existence similiarly to Sora, a future where he's the one comitting the atrocities.

There's also Paul Atreides from Dune who is given the power to see the future, and despite knowing and feeling guilt for a long time that some of his actions might lead to him releasing a holy war against the galaxy and killing billion, goes on to follow the future timeline he saw where he caused those atrocities anyway.

The absolute godlike power to know the future for all three of these characters Sora, Eren and Paul actually leads to them committing atrocities, not averting them as they'd hoped.

Yet, there's the tragic element of the fact she was just sixteen when this destiny was thrust upon her.

In Tokyo Ghoul Eto once referred togod as a child with extraordinary power to justify the world being as messed up as it is. Doesn't this fit Sora Shihouin as well? A child given way too much power and suddenly thrust into a leadership position?

In that way Sora reminds me tragically of X-Men characters like Jean Grey, if someone is given the power to see the future, or the insane powers of the phoenix that Jean Grey was given would they really have the moral fiber not to abuse that power? Can anyone wield that much power and not be corrupted by it?

[mxyirin]

Yandere! Diluc Ragnvindr

― 𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗢𝗥 𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗘?

▸who didn't know master diluc?

▸the youngest cavalry captain who later on became the pinnacle in the wine industry

▸rich, handsome, authority

▸these three words described diluc perfectly

▸one of the most famous bachelors of monstadt

▸other one being his brother

▸and if you knew diluc, then you would surely know his darling

▸[name] [last name]

▸a scholar from the akademiya who now settled in the city of freedom, more specifically in dragonspine

▸after all, you and albedo were conducting research together

▸and as soon as the redhead, he was enamoured with you

▸he looked at you with a flowery filter, as if a light was shining from behind you, a red thread intertwining your fate with his

▸and if the thread didn't bind you to him, he'll forcefully chain you to him

▸he was quick on his feet, doing everything in his power to aid you

▸openly pursuing you as soon as he could

▸because who would dare go against master diluc, the only living member of the noble ragnvindr clan, the biggest tycoon in the wine industry, former and the youngest cavalry captain

▸he was an intimidating man

▸so ofc no one dared to harbour any ill thoughts about you

▸they wanted their head on their neck thank you very much

▸diluc was not possessive not at all

▸his yandere tendencies included isolating you from anyone who could 'threaten' you

▸he was overprotective

▸but he was such a sweetheart

▸that you would never believe that under his gentlemanly demur lied a hidden beast

▸though he was never one to deny you of anything you wished for

▸the moment you even glance at an object a second too long, diluc moves forward to get it for you

▸monstadt consists of many sharp and cunning people  like his brother kaeya, sister rosaria and even your own research partner albedo

▸the redhead is cautious in every way possible

▸never letting harm fall on you

▸as a rich kid who was probably spoiled with the best things possible and was always given what he wanted

▸diluc believes all your affection and attention should belong to him, him only

▸as soon as you pay more attention to someone else when you're with him, he will get all grumpy

▸a dark aura would radiate all around him and he would scowl angrily at the person talking to you

▸eventually they make an excuse and run away in fear

▸no one wants to mess with the ragnvindr head after all

▸"diluc, you didn't have to scare him away"

▸"my dear, i have done no such thing"

▸no matter what you do, he would never admit such a thing to you

▸in his mind, he must maintain his best appearance in front of you

▸so no matter who comes, you'll never get impressed by them and forever remain by his side

▸in honesty, even as a yandere, diluc is not too bad

▸he never raises his voice at you nor gets violent

▸diluc gets you whatever you want

▸"diluc, there's no need for that-"

▸"no. we shall get it."

▸yes, even if you say no to him, he'll buy it regardless of the price

▸after all, all his mora is there to spoil you or what else is the use of being one of the richest men in teyvat if he can't even give you what you want?

▸he has nothing but patience for you

▸but that does not mean he is patient with everybody

▸just as I said before, he likes to be a gentleman in front of you

▸but when you're not there

▸diluc ragnvindr is nothing but a monster

▸he prefers wearing black clothes because blood is easy to hide

▸and with him working  as a bartender, the heavy scent of alcohol would cover up the metallic scent of blood

▸"calm down captain obvious," kaeya teased

▸the blue-haired (hot, sexy, handsome-) man was used to seeing his estranged brother show most of his emotions due to you

▸and he couldn't be more grateful to you

▸but of course, like the sharp guy he is, he had noticed some interesting quirks of the redhead

▸so whenever there was a problem with fatui or a person who was in the way he would make you cosy up to them

▸you agreed to help him whenever he promised to give you some interesting reports of your research

▸no one said you weren't as crazy as the others now did they?

▸you calmly responded to the drunk fatui flirting with you

▸and even with the obvious and heated stare boring on your head you acted obvious

▸kaeya chuckled seeing diluc tightly clench onto the glass he was cleaning

▸'ah, cracks have appeared in the glass' his lone eye clouded with amusement

▸and that night when diluc calmly took his place beside you on your shared bed, he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead as you slept soundly in his arms

▸at the same time, the beloved cavalry captain patrolling the city to catch a certain someone saw the figure of the person who had been flirting with your earlier

▸"oh dear, he has done in it again." he called out loudly to his subordinates

▸"huffman, another one has been found!"

▸"the serial killer sure is persistent no?" kaeya laughed lightly as he glanced at the battered body

▸from the darknight hero to this

▸diluc sure had fallen

▸and it was all because of you

[headspace-hotel]

I am begging you.

Can we please have a dialog?

I am an actual human person who is a conservative /right wing. We could discuss our differences and what we consider important about society, and why we favor the policies we do.

You wouldn't need to make assumptions.

I'm begging you.

Sure. I will happily ask questions and answer them.

A few things, though: first, if a particular belief or idea stems from a deeply held religious conviction, there is sometimes no productive course of action for someone being confronted with it except "Well, I don't believe this. Carry on."

You are a Christian it seems. If your belief system includes the confident conviction that everyone else on Earth should also be Christian, we are not likely to get much good out of a conversation, since I have an equally firm and immovable conviction that an objectively "correct" moral framework—whether it exists or not—is a bad thing to pursue and/or define, and we should actively avoid it.

This is why:

Whether your understanding of the world is correct or not, you live in a world where others do not share that understanding. It is possible for a person to think and believe something different, and to feel just as certain about it as you do—in other words, the fact that you think you're correct means nothing, because everyone does, even people that are Super Wrong. To get around this, you (general you) have to deny other people a measure of humanity or sentience or thoughtfulness that you assume you possess.

No one is fully immune to this. I know I'm not. The post you're responding to is evidence—it's a generalization about what goes on in the heads of others.

I think that "how do we fix what's wrong with the world?" is a functionally infinitely complicated question. There is no "answer." There is only the process of trying.

So my relationship to words like "conservative" and "liberal" has less to do with what I think the answers to problems in society are, and more to do with the "process of trying" itself. I can observe trends in conservative belief systems, and I can think they suck—sometimes I do—but what I care about is ultimately "Does this way allow contradictory ways to exist?"

This is controversial, but I don't think it actually matters if someone personally believes that being gay is a sin, or whatever you come up with. What people think in their own heads is their business. What actually matters is: will they hold a gay person's existence and insights and convictions to be as sacred as their own, out of recognition of that person's humanity?

There are many people that will say "I don't think the way you live is right, but I will protect you from being coerced into living another way, through violence, poverty or fear." This is important. I think that my take on things leads to the conclusion that society should be, if conclusions are possible with nothing else, minimally coercive, and information should be as freely accessible as possible.

Coexisting with most other humans peacefully, and supporting the creation of a society where their needs can be met, means that you get comfortable with a lot of things being none of your business, and accepting that you shouldn't have the power to stop a person from doing something if your only reason is "I don't like it."

(There is also that one principle, "You Should Care About Other People," that can never exactly be justified but that seems to be a defining feature of moral frameworks in general. People regularly reject it, but that never seems to get to the point of being independent or intuitive. It's hard to define what a moral framework is without referencing it.)

This is all to say: I have met many conservatives that do not believe there would be anything fundamentally bad about forcing others to live according to their principles, as long as they believe those principles are correct. To these folks, it doesn't matter if a law is tyrannical or coercive as long as it's right in principle.

If this is you, we're not going to be able to have a productive conversation, because you 1) just straight up don't want to live in a pluralistic society and 2) are totally closed to the possibility of being wrong about anything, and there's not much we can do to get around that.

[laylawatermelon]

Side Eyes or Raised Eyebrows

Buddie: Marketing Tatic or Something Else?

Hello! Back on my big brain I cant sleep stuff.

I've been a Buddie fan for over a few months now (idk how time works) and have lived through the beautiful bi buck confirmation.

Now I do have some think pieces about queer representation in American media and in different countries (i literally spend all my time watching tv I'm a conessiur or sorts) and how they differ on impact/deal with issues etc.

What I woke up thinking about is something that's bugging me a bit about Oliver and his interviews.

If we're (both the ga and buddie fans) supposed to be convinced about this new relationship the writing and promotion MUST be changed.

Let me explain.

Tommy, Tevan whatever you want to call it is Buck's newest relationship.

It's a new relationship with a similar set up/feeling around it.

The only way I think Buddie can be override/mitigated is if they have a doctor love interest who consistently stays over the course of seasons who has their own backstory and storyline.

I'm starting to swing my eyes at ABC and their marketing team now.

Madney's wedding coming up and we barely saw either of them ( granted kudos on keeping this all under wraps y'all) and they've been hanging a shiny bell in front of us as distraction like a baby.

Look at the shiny buddie then BAM character death!

Please don't take this serious, please don't take this serious, Tim! PLEASE don't take this serious.

But anyways, I have been thinking about Oliver and all of his recent press and just the way Busdie has been uttered and whipped around like a tennis ball.

He currently has a boyfriend but the way it's been discussed and portrayed has me a bit dazed.

I wanna be a bit objective (I'm asking the big questions here)

The main problem is the Buddie relationship and how it's portrayed/written and had continued to be this season.

If you compare the past seasons and how they've developed as let's face it a couple, because there's no way to deny it as they've been written to parallel in unverse and other show romantic heterosexual relationships.

They quite literally qualified for a queer platonic relationship (if you wanted to view it that way. I however have not. I say let the gays free!/j)

If they intended for it to be platonic let it BE platonic.

They shouldn't be doing an if, of the gender was swapped would it be romantic/ship coded?

They literally have that in the show already. Bobby and Chim, Bobby and Eddie, hell Chim and Eddie (do they even have solo scenes together???).

Bathena is a blatant parallel. The main one almost beat for beat is the orchard shooting and the hostage situation. (Pretty sure it's the same season I believe)

But those are just some examples of the show.

My main gripe is if it's not about buddie don't make it/lean to heavily into it as it can backfire.

I'm not gonna lie, bi buck episode was a bait and switch (beautifully done and still very infuriating all the same).

Oliver I gotta bone to pick with you (I really don't I'm side eyeing the network i know they approve questions).

He's also a Buddie warrior so I can't really fault him on how he talks about it it's been like 6 years he's had the same partner with the domestic (cough sexual tension cough) with.

So I don't really blame him tbh.

*Swings around and points fonger at marketing team*

It's all your fault.

I know the episode will feature Madney (duh it's their wedding episode and I'm ready to cry) but I'm pretty sure there could've been another way to advertise this occasion.

Use flyers (similar to the ones used to say that one of the dispatch crew was attending) to get fans buzzed about watching the show in a few weeks as though they're rsvp'ing, talk about past scenes, more interviews centering the couple and what they thought about the episode, a promotional photoshoot?

Photoshoot in a magazine with jlh and Ken would've been really cute. Madney fans would then be happy. (I'm included🙋🏾‍♀️ give the beautiful couple their photos i wanna see it😤 my little queer heart and eyes demands it)

Literally would've been the perfect time to pair up with some wedding magazine or something. Literally a million ways to go about it.

Madney in formal wedding clothes, then a dystopian kind of dress clothes to reflect the chaotic wedding ending.

Use a highlight reel.

Similar you are cordially invited to a 911 wedding -

Show madney karaoke, engagement ring being missing, proposal, hugs after hostage, this season cute date idea and excitement for the wedding then a simple where's chimney.

Then put the bachelor stuff then have him crawling.

Something as simple as that puts more of the focus on madney visually and marketing wise.

For the interviews they could've split it between Oliver talking about bisexuality and the other two talking about relationship and the high beats and low beats and how it felt to play.

How their relationship developed as costars and what the characters mean to them.

Split it down the middle so both fans are appeased.

I am a fan of all characters and this is really funny because I the first half of this one morning I woke up before the scene was even mentioned being cut but i was like there's a shift in something and it's not good🤣 as expected something went wrong)

Though I'm pretty sure the fans of both will be happy because Buddie are going to be the comic relief so they'll have a decent amount of time as the blockers so to say because we will know who's gonna kidnap Chimney. He only had one enemy??

But yeah this was a Tuesday thing I wrote and it's now very hilarious in hindsight and in the future.

Happy Madney day i guess!

This will be linked to Twitter cause whew...

[agattthaa]

Loyalty

Paring: Maria Theresa/Renée De Noailles

Word count: 1.542

Rating: T

(Mentions of murder)

Summary: Renée loyalty laid with Maria Theresa and with no one else

Tagging: @rc-catalog

-I fear I don't understand what you mean, Monsieur.

-What is there to not understand, Mademoiselle? I just pointed out that Madame Scarron's death was very sudden. She was a young woman, healthy… Her death was very sudden indeed..

-It was indeed a fatality, Monsieur Le Roi. What I fail to understand is why did you call only me and Alexander to talk about Madame Scarron's early death.

The King paced around the room, sometimes, stopping to look to either Alexander, who stood on the side of his throne or to look at Renée, who stood in front of it. He was restless ever since the news of the death came out. It was clear to everyone to see that he craved for her, and now he looked more like a child who was denied a toy than he really wanted.

Meanwhile, Alexander stood perfectly still, his eyes never leaving the woman's face. She could feel him analyzing every single thing she said, the way she standed and even the way she looked at the King. She could feel the judgment and untrust in the air, and it only got worse when the doors of the throne room bursted open.

Maria Theresa walked in the room as if the entire castle was her own, and she looked ethereal. She was completely left out of any political affair and to Renée it was clear that she had no intention of changing that, especially after her own husband declared war against her country. Yet, there she was. Standing like an immovable object between Renée and the King, like an entire wall, whose only objective was to keep Renée safe.

She hadn’t even looked at her lover, only stopping in front of her and staring at the king with a look of absolute defiance. She had never looked so beautiful.

Four guards stood on the open door looking between the queen's back and the king's perplexed face.

-Your majesty. I apologize. I know that you ordered no one to disturb you, but her majesty…

-There is no problem. Let us be.

His annoyance was even more clear. He was upset before, got more upset when his wife invaded the room, and now that she stood before Renée with a completely defensive stance, he was furious.

-I believed we already had an agreement about Mademoiselle De Noailles's stand as my… company, Monsieur Le Roi.

The King let out some air though his nose, and it was amusing to see how close he was to losing his composure.

-Mademoiselle De Noailles is not here because she is your mistress, Madam. She is here as my subject. We are simply talking about the abnormality of Madame Scarron's death. And you know what amuses me the most? I can not think of anyone in this palace that had any reason to wish death on such a righteous woman such as Madame Scarron besides you, Maria Theresa.

The queen's stance only shifted when the woman behind her was called by mistress, but besides that she was perfectly still, even though she perfectly understood what her husband was implying.

-That I am aware, Madame Scarron's death was the result of a poor heart, and that it was the royal physician the one that made her obituary. -The queen rightfully pointed out. -Besides, do you really believe that I would kill someone? And that if I did I would tell it to my Renée knowing about her loyalty to you?

-That is the funny thing, Madame. I don't believe you killed Madame Scarron. I believe Mademoiselle De Noailles did.

And it was clear that the queen was more than capable of dealing with state affairs, because even after her husband accused the woman that slept next to her every single day of murder, she kept perfectly still. Not a single emotion showed on her bright eyes.

-That makes no sense at all, Monsieur Le Roi. You just said that no one in this castle had anything against Madame Scarron, and now you accuse a woman that has shown nothing but loyalty to you of such a vile act.

The air in the room became thicker once the king started laughing. The situation only became more absurd. Renée just wanted to grab Maria Theresa by the hand and run to their bedroom and hide under their covers, but she knew she couldn't, so she simply touched the skirt of the older woman.

-And that is the biggest misconception one could have, Madame. Mademoiselle De Noailles has not been loyal to me or to the French throne. She is loyal to you and only to you, Maria Theresa. Or do you think that all the servants of the crown went almost insane when our son disappeared? Do you think they all stayed awake till the sunrise searching for him in the woods or that just anyone would invade a house unarmed not knowing how many enemies were there just to retrieve your son? Do you think loyal subjects of the crown storm out of the room just because someone offended you after not even excusing themselves from their king? Mademoiselle De Noailles is a very good subject to the crown and very worried about the future of France when your feelings are not in the opposite direction, Madame. She was even the strongest objector against the war simply because it was against your country.

All of them stayed in absolute silence during the entire monologue. Because, besides Maria Theresa, they all knew that the King was right. From day one, when Renée was still simply a spy under Alexander's control, she refused to do anything that could hurt her queen. Even when Alexander demanded her to sleep with an old man in exchange for information, her first thought was how that would be a betrayal to Maria Theresa. Not her feelings had become the second most important thing, but first it came Maria Theresa's. Perhaps that was what being in love was.

And she didn't appreciate having her feelings exposed like that, especially not in front of her coworker and by their boss, who happened to be her lover's husband. But she knew it was the truth, she knew they all knew it, and perhaps it was time that Maria Theresa knew that already. That Renée's loyalty did not belong to any ruler or any country, but only to Maria Thereso's soft eyes and sweet soul.

-So let me ask you only this once, Mademoiselle De Noailles. Did you murder Madame Scarron?

The king broke the deadly silence with the question he had wanted to ask ever since he received the news. He could ignore all the other defects that he knew that Renée had. She was a very competent servant, so he really could. He could ignore the fact that she had the opportunity to declare that her loyalty belonged to him, but that she didn't. That her silence was her way of agreeing with everything that he had said. He could ignore everything if she really didn't take away from him what he wanted so much.

-I did not murder Madame Scarron.

Was the only thing she answered. The king stayed silent, staring at her for at least five entire minutes before turning to Alexander, the question clear in his eyes. The valet simply shook his head, his eyes fixated on Renée.

-I don't see any lie on her, Monsieur.

The man's words clearly were more important than the king's own opinion, because as soon as the valet said then, the king simply threw himself on his throne, waving his hand to the side as a clear order for everyone to leave him alone. Renée didn't waste a second, taking Maria Theresa's hand on her and walking to the queen's bedroom. To their bedroom.

If Maria Theresa was shocked or impressed by anything said in the throne room, she didn't say. Only lacing her fingers with her lover's and squeezing her hand.

And in silence they stayed while they undressed and silent they stayed while they climbed their bed, facing each other. Renée raised her hand to Maria Theresa's face and the woman leaned in her touch, just as it had always been.

-Did you kill her?

There wasn't any judgment or fear in Maria Theresa's eyes. She looked at Renée with care and love just as she always did.

That love was worth anything. Renée would stay all nights awake and go deep into any woods or climb into any mountain or enemies houses to make sure that Maria Theresa would still look at her precisely like that in the morning. So she took her hand from Maria's face, covering them both with their thick blanket and saying a very audible “No”.

But under their covers, she wrote a very big “Yes” on the queen's skin.

No one should dare to offend Maria Theresa with such insolence and indifference, and Renée would make sure that no one else would for as long as she lived.

Maria Theresa simply nodded. The love still visible in her eyes and her care for Renée still palpable in her touch, so they simply hugged each other close and drifted. Both dreaming of the same tomorrow.

[quaranmine]

I know I already commented this on AO3 but I literally cant stop thinking about this fic and I so want to talk someone's ears off irl. Cuz holy fuck. I just absolutely the characterization in the story. The voice and expression of Grian is just so palpable and well-written. You sympathize for the guy even as he digs himself deeper into the abyss. Like, I know from the beginning, from playing Firewatch, that there is no conspiracy, just circumstances. But you understand where Grian is coming from, you hope that he is in some ways right, that Mumbo is still out there (doesnt help that Im a mumbo main lol). At some point, part of you just believe the conspiracy along with him even as everyone else, including the back of your own mind, tells you otherwise. And the other part wants to grab Grian from the other side of the screen and shake him til he realizes. That fucking dread of in some way knowing the ending just created that underlying layer of tension when reading. And, as someone else has pointed out, Grian's agency in his search for Mumbo being like denied somewhat fits in so well and just hits home that, nothing is really in his control, that its all just an accident. Its that gut-renching punch and realization that is stuck in my head after reading chapter 11. And im glad that chapter 12 presents some closure and breathing room. Its not the ending, but its an ending and a start. The melancholy of the last chapter, of Grian's acceptance and him finally meeting Scar. All of it is just, GOD. Anyways, excuse my ramblings, I love this fic and its genuinely one of the best Ive read. You did an amazing job.

THANK YOU!!!! I love this review of my work so much, as well as your AO3 review :)

I like that you bring out that having played Firewatch clued you in on the lack of conspiracy. I know the game's ending is controversial, but I actually like it a lot. I love the way the game makes you paranoid and how the remoteness of the setting reinforces that. I love how it's just a story about broken people running from their problems. Whenever I think about the game, I think about this Medium article I read (massive game spoilers.)

And so with this story, I didn't want to do the same thing as the game's plot, but I wanted to harness some of the same themes and explore them in my own way. I think the fic works well alongside the game because it sort of complements it, neither requiring prior game knowledge to read nor spoiling the game--but having game knowledge makes it even better.

I worked backwards knowing I was going to have an obvious ending. It's obvious because it's the most realistic option. But there is also an interesting extra level of writer-reader meta to play with, which is that nearly everyone is primed to sympathize with and believe the pov character. Everyone is also generally primed to expect better ending, or to expect that impossible will somehow happen because it's a fiction story. So I knew that readers would start off with a similar hope to Grian. And I knew that as the story went on further and further, I could direct readers toward the real conclusion. At some point, the very length of the fic itself and number of chapters left with make readers realize they're running out of time for things to happen. At some point, the reader is going have an objective picture of events and realize how irrational some of Grian's actions are.

I'm glad it worked to create a lot of tension! I also think the way a lot of other characters interact with Grian creates tension, because most of them are sort of "scared" to be direct with him since they know it'll upset him. And the way every one of Grian's actions keep adding and adding until the potential consequences grow greater and greater continue to add to the out-of-control feeling of this story. My goal for his character was always to keep pushing him to see where it led. It was a sad story to write, but it's a fun one to analyze for me.

I'm glad you liked chapter 12. I wanted it to try and resolve some of the things that needed to be said still, and provide a little bit of rest from the last three major action-filled chapters. The story is really 11 chapters of getting Grian to the first step in healing, and chapter 12 is that first step. It isn't the last one. Just the first.

Also my condolences for being a Mumbo main, I really need to get my blorbo rights revoked. I've been privately joking for the past year about fridging the poor man 😭mumbo ily i promise

[fairestar]

“awakened imagination” by neville goddard · a summary

this post is the second of a forthcoming set in which i summarise and simplify neville goddard’s book “awakened imagination”. you can read the original here, and you can check other summaries here. please note this book is heavily reliant on his religion and, as much as i will try to make it as non-religious and simple as possible, there are still passages and comparisons that i can't take out without hindering neville’s meaning. take these posts as if i were taking notes for future reference during class.

❁ chapter II : sealed instructions.

“the first power that meets us at the threshold of the soul's domain is the power of imagination” — dr. franz hartmann.

neville was first made conscious of the power of imagination through the teachings of his friend abdullah, and he then learned of the coming of imagination to man and the test of sonship, the ability of man to identify himself or another with his aim in life. without this identification, the forgiveness of sin (see chapter one) is impossible and only the son of god can forgive sin. therefore, man's ability to identify with his aim, though reason and senses deny it, is proof of the birth of christ in him; to passively surrender to appearances and the evidence of facts is to confess that christ is not yet born in you (meaning: still identifying to what your senses show you signifies confessing that you haven't yet accepted your true power).

although repelled at first, this teaching took deep root. but still, neville felt uncomfortable when everything he had ever taken for granted was shaken. nonetheless, once in knowledge of the law, not a trace of literal understanding was left: when someone is faced with the law and its implications, all logic is destroyed.

he often asked himself “if my imagination is christ and all things are possible to him, are all things possible to me?”; he then came to take comfort in knowing that all he experienced was the result of his own standard of beliefs, that he was the center of his own web of circumstances and as he changed, so did his outer world.

the world presents different appearances according as our states of consciousness differ.

the state from which we think is what determines the objective world in which we live. what we see when we are identified with a state (everything you believe and consent to as true) cannot be seen when we are no longer fused with it. no idea presented to the mind can realize itself unless the mind accepts it: it depends on the acceptance, the state with which we identify, how things present themselves.

in the fusion of imagination and states is to be found the shaping of the world as it seems: it is a revelation of the states that are fused with imagination. the good man and the bad man, they are what they are by virtue of the state they view the world from; the distinctions between their worlds depend on the distinctions between their states. if you want to be the good one (or the rich, the powerful, the beautiful, etc.) you shouldn't match his actions or behaviour, but his point of view.

outer changes are useless if the inner state is not changed. success isn't gained by imitating the actions of the successful ones, but by the right inner actions and conversations.

the famous barbados story.

in 1933, neville went to his friend abdullah with a problem: he wanted to spend the winter in barbados, but he was broke. abdullah responded “if you'll imagine yourself to be there, thinking and viewing the world from that state of consciousness instead of thinking of barbados, you will spend the winter there. you mustn't concern yourself with how you'll get there, because if you imagination occupies the state of already being in barbados, then it will devise the means best suited to realise itself; you must imagine yourself right into the state of your fulfilled desire and fall asleep viewing the world from barbados. this is not mere fancy, but a truth you can prove by experience”. neville set to work right that moment, he dismissed the senses of his present state and fixed his thoughts towards the feeling of being in barbados and viewing the world from that standpoint. for several nights he fell asleep in the assumption of being in his father's house in barbados. within a month, he received a letter from his brother saying he wanted to have the family together for christmas and to use the steamship ticket he sent him to go to barbados. he sailed two days after.

the world as we describe from observation must be as we describe it relative to ourselves: people live by committing themselves to invisible states, by fusing their imagination with what they know to be other than themselves, and in this union they experience the results of that fusion.

no one can lose what they have, unless they detach from the state where the experienced things have their natural life (no one can lose what they have unless they stop inhabiting the state of their wish fulfilled). imagination connects us with the desired state, but we must use it masterfully, not as an onlooker thinking of the end, but as a partaker thinking from the end. we must actually be there in imagination, if we manage to do so then our subjective experience will be realised objectively (if we are there in imagination, then we will be there in the outer world too).

abdullah's appeal to enter the state of the wish fulfilled was the secret of thinking from the end. every state is already there as a “mere possibility” as long as you think of it, but is overpoweringly real when you think from it. he also emphasized the importance of the state from which people view the world as they fall asleep, as all prophets claim that the voice of god is chiefly heard by man in dreams.

this experience showed neville that man can be anything he pleases if he makes the wish fulfilled his dwelling state and thinks from the end, and that he could no longer excuse himself by placing the blame on the world, that it all depends on the state from which he views the world. a man who is free in his choice acts from conceptions he chooses, although not always wisely. all conceivable states are waiting for us to occupy them but no amount of rationalising will yield us to them: we need faith, not proof.

the imaginative state is the only thing we seek.

the ultimate purpose of imagination is continual identification with our ideal. only by identifying ourselves with our aim can we forgive ourselves for having missed it; all other work is in vain. on this path, whatever place we convey in our imagination we will also physically gravitate to.

by sleeping in his father's house in imagination as though he slept there in the flesh, he fused his imagination with that state and was compelled to experience it in the flesh. so vivid was this to him he could have been actually seen in his father's house: a man can be seen where he is in imagination because he must be where his imagination is, for his imagination is himself.

determined imagination (thinking from the end) is the beginning of all miracles, though “miracle” is the name given by those who have no knowledge of the power and function of imagination. imagining oneself into the feeling of the wish fulfilled is the means by which a new state is entered, this gives the state its is-ness quality (makes it be).

“that which is, is manifested; that which has been or shall be, is unmanifested, but not dead; for soul, the eternal activity of god, animates all things”. the future must become the present in the imagination of that who wisely creates circumstances, vision must be translated into being, thinking of into thinking from. imagination must center itself in some state and view the world from it.

the purpose of life is the appeasement of hunger.

...and the infinite states of consciousness from which a man can view the world are purely a means of satisfying that hunger. this means, you crave the feeling caused by having that which you desire (not the thing itself) and to appease that hunger you occupy the state of the wish fulfilled.

desire is the mainspring of the mental machinery, it is a right and natural craving which has a state of consciousness as its right and natural satisfaction: every craving (desire) has a means of satisfaction (state of that specific wish fulfilled).

you must want it.

it's necessary to have an aim in life, we drift without it. and in defining our aim, we must want it, for lack of this passionate direction in life is what makes us fail to accomplish it.

the spanning of the bridge between desire (thinking of) and satisfaction (thinking from) is all-important: we must move mentally from thinking of to thinking from the end. reason could never do this because it's restricted to the evidence of the senses, but since imagination has no such limitation, it can do it.

desire exists to be gratified in the activity of imagination: through it, man escapes from the limitation of the senses and reason. there's no stopping a man who can think from the end, for he creates the means and grows his way out of limitation.

it doesn't matter what you've been or what you are now, all that matters is “what do you want?”. knowing that every desire is waiting and ready for the one who thinks from the end, the free one is indifferent to mere reasonable probability and confident that through continuous imagination their desire will harden into fact.

how to persuade people everywhere that thinking from the end is the only living?

how to foster it in their every activity? how to reveal it as the plenitude of life and not the compensation of the disappointed? life is a controllable thing! you can experience what you please once you realise that you are what you are by virtue of the state of consciousness from which you think and view the world.

if every existing thing comes from the state you are occupying, why not change that state so the world conforms to your wishes? why not take hold of this power, instead of continuously placing the blame on “outside” circumstances?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ© fairestar, 2023.