#you made him that much of a misogynistic entitled asshole for what exactly? that brings what to the plot? like what's the point here??????

[thewritingpossum]

...yeah, and then you made her last days on earth absolute misery by destroying all of her life plans and forcing her to marry your old ass AND THEN you murdered the man she loved and now you're still acting like the victim???? if you don't choke on those roses Panin, istg...

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Fire and ice gyroids

We’re on the hunt for gyroids - fire red gyroids to be exact! I’m with Rika and Elowyn in the Icy Cascades for the Fire and Ice Exhibition, which takes place every two years. 

Along with the gyroid hunt, there’s also exhibits where we get to learn about various inventions as well as a workshop where we can build our own machines. Not only the gear is fascinating to look at, the red and gold aesthetics are eye catching as well. It never fails to amaze me what you can craft with gyroids.

What’s important to note about these gyroids is that they need to be handled with care. Don’t let the ice it’s encased in fool you - touch it and you’ll burn. The ice in the Cascades is hardcore because it never melts - or so they claim. You won’t freeze your fingers off if you touch it and it chips away somewhat easily with an ice pick or shovel, but it sure can withstand a lot of heat. The texture’s like a smooth glass that was put in the freezer minus the condensation.

So because we don’t want any burnt hands - or other body parts that might come in contact with a gyroid - safety equipment is important. That’s why Rika and Elowyn arrived at the camp yesterday so we can gather what we have and craft what we don’t to prepare for the event. 

Ever since the cherry blossom festival in Corentine, we’ve been trying to make plans for a get together. Unfortunately some of the stuff we planned fell through at the last minute because we’re all busy people. Rika’s doing gigs for various events as well as writing another book and Elowyn’s got volleyball and classes - even during the festival we didn’t really have any time to sit and chat because they were busy working on the stands.

Finally, after what felt like forever, we’re hanging out on a camping adventure. And what better way to catch up than with a gyroid event?

Rika and Elowyn are cousins, though they’re more like sisters. Both have been raised by their Aunt Bice along with their cousins and Elowyn’s brother after their parents killed each other during a family conference. Even after over eleven years, it’s still one of those stories the media brings up once in a while. For the surviving Sala family members, a once prestigious name had become a stigma.

The Salas were a powerful family who ruled Thundering Shores, a remote peninsula outside the cities of Queenstown and Arcania. Olivier Sala, the patriarch, was said to singlehandedly drag the family from being dirt poor to filthy rich. Not surprisingly he was also a classist, racist, misogynist, abusive, and entitled asshole who only looked out for himself.

His son Klaus took over as head of the family and he was an even bigger dick than his father. He had (at least) four heirs in line - Ernest, Audrey, Cornelius, and Maria. By some miracle, his grandkids turned out to be decent people so maybe the parents (or more likely their spouses) did something right.

To break it down:

Ernest - the eldest of the four heirs. He married Bice Leone (aka the good one who deserved so much better). They have one daughter, Beatrice, who’s the third oldest out the cousins but fifth in line as successor to the family fortune.

Audrey - the eldest daughter who’s a cutthroat CEO. She married Royce, who took her family name to elevate his status. They have one son, Adrien, the oldest of all the cousins, who look up to him a lot.

Cornelius - the second son, a serial womanizer. His first marriage was to a woman who deserved much better. They have one son, Noel, second oldest of the cousins. Right after his wife died, he married Liselotte, who was his mistress for several years and Elowyn was born months later.

Maria - the youngest and the only one who never married. She had an affair with a business partner who walked out on her when she was pregnant with Rika. Since then she held a grudge against her daughter and took her anger out on her. Even after what her mother put her through, Rika sometimes feels bad for her.

On the night of the murders, the family met up for their annual conference to discuss business matters. Klaus would manipulate the adults by pitting them against each other, which is how he always got what he wanted. That year, he revealed that he had a hidden gold stash and left a bunch of cryptic riddles for the adults to figure out. Whoever found it would be named head of the family.

No one knows who found the gold first but the four siblings were fighting over it. Then things got physical, guns were involved, and in minutes most of the adults were dead. Bice was badly wounded but managed to save Adrien, Noel, Beatrice, Rika, and Elowyn, whose lives were hanging by a thread.

In the aftermath that followed, Bice did everything she could to keep the media out. She and the kids recovered physically, though the scars remained. Since Noel, Rika, and Elowyn had no relatives who wanted to take them in, Bice adopted them. Adrien moved in with Bice as well because there was no reason for him to go back where he wasn’t welcome. When things finally calmed down, the surviving Salas moved to Corentine, Bice’s hometown.

The family massacre is one of those things that’ll always be hanging over their heads. It’s amazing how insensitive the media can be, especially since the survivors were victims. The fact that a lot of news articles have to point out how messed up their family was while also talking about their achievements is infuriating. Like, this is about them, not their parents, so shut up about that traumatic incident that they’re clearly not comfortable talking about and let them live their lives.

In the years that followed, Adrien became a talent agent, first for Noel and Beatrice, later to hundreds of clients. He also runs the business/management side of Viola-Francois, where he helped many promising actors and directors find their way. Beatrice is in a punk rock band called Lighting Rage, has made a name for herself in wrestling and voice acting, and currently working on her first manga. Noel is an actor known for starring in suspense, comedies, and action movies as well as a dancer and aspiring director set to make his directorial debut later this year. All three live in different parts of the world but they make time in their busy lives to visit Corentine once in a while.

As for Rika, she moved to Peace Coast Island for college, where she was offered a spot in Jamie’s entourage and is currently a visual arts major. To deal with loneliness when he mother disappeared for days at a time, Rika turned to magic, which creeped her mother out. She still practices witchcraft, though more as a hobby. She’s more interested in party tricks because it’s less dangerous, plus she has a lot of fun showing off. There is talk about a possible TV show with Rika playing hilarious magical pranks on unsuspecting people, which is totally in her element so that’s something to look forward to. Rika’s also a published author, having released a couple graphic novels and in the early stages of writing another one.

And there’s Elowyn, who’s currently in the process of applying to colleges. She’s not sure exactly where she wants to go yet, but she’s considering joining Rika on the island since there’s a good athletic program there. She’s interested in athletics and media so it’s a good fit for her. Elowyn’s also looking into Spectrum University, Seashore Path College, Providence Isle University, and Mercury College.

Rika and Elowyn are two people you’d want to bring along to a gyroid hunt, especially one that involves ice that doesn’t melt and fire hot gyroids. Elowyn’s great at parkour so she can scale mountains and trees like it’s nothing. Rika’s good at spotting gyroids as well as coming up with creative ideas on how to get gyroids in difficult to reach places. 

When we got all the gyroids there are to find, it was time to get crafty. I made a four seated bike and a latte machine, Rika built a game boy and a unicycle, and Elowyn created a camera and butterfly fairy lights. 

After building our crafts, we spent the evening looking at the various exhibitions, which was fascinating! Elowyn got to use her camera to take a bunch of cool pics with a warm, vintage-y filter, adding to the overall charm of the atmosphere. Then we had dinner at the Ice Cocoa Diner, which is known for their decadent churros y chocolate. Before it got too late, we hit the road and got back to the campsite by around 10 and spent the rest of the night chilling and having a good time.

Of course, we brought back a bag full of (properly stored) gyroids for Reese and Cyrus to work their magic on. I can’t wait to see what they come up with!

[vulva-o-queef]

@hestiaq​ (making a new post because I don’t want to keep reblogging a long threat)

I’m really sorry for what you were put through. I sincerely hope you’re in a better situation now and doing okay. That’s horrific.

I remember the Ted Bundy bit you’re talking about- and she’s…. honestly quite right? If enough men have NPD/ASPD a few of them are going to seem intelligible, I think. I don’t really understand what you’re saying about Ted Bundy- if it’s tongue in cheek or not.

Okay, like I said, I haven’t seen this post she made. necromancerdoll just said that larps said sociopaths/psychopaths “can’t perform well in society/function with others.” I know aspd and being a sociopath are often considered the same thing, and I know a lot of them are pretty transparent assholes. Psychopathy isn’t a formal diagnosis at all, but criminal psychologists do use the term, and there’s a pretty solid consensus on what it means. Some people say psychopaths are a subset of sociopaths, and other people say it’s a similar but distinct thing, but in either case, one of the main characteristics of a psychopath (which a sociopath doesn’t, or doesn’t always have) is that they’re smooth and charming, and they use those traits to manipulate others.

My comment about Ted Bundy was sarcastic (and probably not in very good faith, but also wasn’t really related to the main point of all this), because saying psychopaths “can’t perform well in society/function with others” is the opposite of the truth. Ted Bundy was charming, socially adept, approachable, and likable, which was exactly how he managed to lure in many of his victims. He would put on a fake cast and ask women to help him get things into his car, which is what that scene from silence of the lambs is based on. Larps might be totally aware of all that and just phrased something too broadly. The only way it would be relevant to the rest of what I’m saying is, if she really meant to say that psychopaths are socially inept, it would be another example of how she tries to speak as an authority on mental disorders she doesn’t understand. Mostly I was just poking fun.

Women are over-diagnosed. But I don’t understand how Larps pointing out shitty behavior is the same as “diagnosing everyone”. Also, she’s talked about how borderline personality is over-diagnosed and often ascribed to women who are dealing with trauma. She’s also not talking about it from a “I don’t personally like them” only- “these people” are people who are cruel and vicious and play victim when called out on their cruel vicious behavior.

Clearly, you and I interpret the things she says about bpd and ‘cluster b’ in general very differently. For one, diagnosing anyone over the internet is absurd. In my first response to her, I did agree that she has made some good points, mostly about the link between autogynephilia and narcissism. But that’s about noticing an overarching theme within a specific population, and there’s already a decent amount of academic writing about that link. Case studies done by real psychologists. Actual studies done with controls and statistics and so on. And even with stuff like fucking “trans lesbian” dating profiles that larps points out herself, there is some solid evidence there due to the sheer repetition of entitled attitudes, fetishism, etc, the list goes on. My issue is with the way she thinks she understands BPD when she clearly doesn’t, how she applies “cluster b” or bpd to an awful lot of people, largely young ‘transmen’ or radfems she doesn’t like, and how whenever anyone she’s put down for having BPD tells her to cut it out, or tells her that she’s wrong about them, she dismisses anything they have to say by citing “people with bpd are insane,” or telling them they’re being irrational due to their disorder. Basically she’s using it as a shield to avoid being held accountable for the things she says. “Anyone who’s telling me borderline people aren’t irrational is only saying that because they’re borderline, and therefore they’re irrational!” I’m not saying she’s diagnosing “everyone.” And regarding transmen specifically, there are a lot of psychological factors involved in that situation, and for someone who’s so vocal about the cultlike, exploitative, backwards nature of the trans movement, you’d think she would understand how absurd and frankly just plain egotistical it is to think she can simplify all of those psychological factors and dynamics down to “cluster b.” Again - remember that she’s talking about people she’s never met in her life, usually judging from one blog description, a handful of posts, or sometimes nothing more than a fucking selfie.

Even as a younger girl with supposed “BPD” (who even identified with the label)- I wouldn’t have found this stuff offensive, and if it did (which I might have, and sometimes still do)- it’s really that easy to log off or go outside.

That’s good for you, and I respect your perspective. And you’re right, I could just log off and ignore what larps is saying. You can say that about anything anyone says on the internet, and technically it’s true. But I didn’t. The things she’s saying are ignorant, I find them personally hurtful, and I think she’s spreading misinformation, harmful stereotypes, and regressive thinking. I see that she’s saying dehumanizing and belittling things to women on this site who deserve respect, and probably worst of all, I see that there are a lot of people who look up to her, ask her for advice, sometimes idolize her a bit, and many of them will believe pretty much anything she says. She’s feeding them bullshit and some really vile ideas about mental health stigma, and how people with certain disorders (mainly BPD) deserve to be treated. I don’t think she’s the devil incarnate, and I don’t think she’s out here ruining lives and destroying families. I think she’s an asshole with an inflated sense of her own insight and knowledge, and I decided to say something. I could have logged off, but in this case, I didn’t. That’s all.

...I don’t understand how Larps memeing on a Tumblr blog and often posting insightful ideas about personality disorders is “insulting, ignorant, and dehumanizing”.

Yeah I don’t know what you consider “insightful,” but posting the definition of “insane” and copy-pasting a list of bpd symptoms and saying “see? these people are insane,” and tagging her response to my post with #have u ever noticed how all of these people have personality disorders (callback to “anyone who’s telling me borderline people aren’t irrational is only saying that because they’re borderline, and therefore they’re irrational!”) ...doesn’t quite cut it in my book.

She doesn’t bring up cluster b whenever she “feels” someone is acting unreasonable and dramatic- they… are unreasonable and dramatic- at least in whatever context, and people don’t have to dig deep to see who someone really is to be able to just say “no that’s insane, bye”.

Mmmm... I realize you see the situation differently from me, but am I acting insane? I mean, at worst, I’m making the undeniably blunt way she talks to people into something bigger than it needs to be. And yeah, I know... classic cluster b, amiright? But even if that’s the case, even if I’m misinterpreting her views, surely you can see where I’m coming from. And there are quite a few people who have the same objections that I do (mostly radfems, radfem adjacent women, terves, etc.). When she wrote that tag #have u ever noticed how all of these people have personality disorders, isn’t it clear that she was referring to me, as well as the rest of the radfemmish women who have been speaking against this behavior from her lately? Isn’t she making an assumption that I have a personality disorder (which I do not)? 

Do you really think my objection to the way larps talks about bpd is an indication that I have a personality disorder, and that I’m insane? Unreasonable at worst. But yes, she is absolutely using the excuse that those who object to her saying borderline people are irrational are saying so because they’re borderline/irrational. And like I said, I’m hardly the only example of her saying things like this. Someone just reblogged the original post of all of this and said #I just blocked larps bcuz shes been reblogging random old posts from me calling me a cluster b as bait #as far as I know I’m the only quote on quote crazy bihet that doesn’t have a pd? Someone else wrote #I really looked up to larps hence I’m so torn about this #if I didn’t believe she was a smart and decent well meaning person I wouldn’t care. That’s just on that particular post, within the last few hours.

People with personality disorders are diagnosed because they’re anti social and cause harm to those they “love”/interact with and the cluster b community (that I hung around) spend most of their time groveling in misery- despite often constructing their own fantastical narrative of people horrifically abusing them and demanding to be coddled for every emotion.

Some of them, yeah. Not all of them, and not enough to justify making assumptions about people you’ve never met.

What I mean is- the pain that they’re feeling is an offense to ego a LOT of the time. And other’s shouldn’t have to walk around eggshells to make sure that they don’t injure others egos.

Agreed.

Like it’s not real, rudfems don’t enable or contribute to violence against women. None of these women, no matter how mean they are, contributed to the pain I experienced in childhood for being called BPD- actually it was always men and handmaidens.

I didn’t accuse larps, or any other ‘rudefem’ of contributing to violence against women. I know that men were the reason ‘hysteria’ could be diagnosed in the past, and I know that men are the reason bpd is being overdiagnosed in women today. And I’m honestly not even trying to say larps is being misogynistic to the women she says this stuff to (though re-reading, I realize it could easily sound that way). Misogyny or not, dismissing someone’s perfectly measured, reasonable objection as irrational just because they have a bpd diagnosis - which in several cases, dr. larps diagnosed all by herself - is unacceptable, is the same pattern and circular justification used on ‘hysterical’ women in the past, and is particularly bad because, as we agree, bpd is too often being diagnosed as the new version of hysteria. She’s re-enforcing age-old stereotypes about mental illness, and she’s buying into it so completely that she really believes that borderline people are so unreliable that she knows what’s going on in their heads better than they do. Hence saying that borderline people objecting to her backwards stereotyping are doing so out of a kneejerk reaction to a damaged ego, rather than because they know what she’s saying is false.

Also - she isn’t talking about everyone with “diagnosed” BPD.

If that’s what she means, then she’s the one who needs to say it, not you. Again, I respect that you have a different view of this, and I understand your perspective, I can’t believe what others say about her intentions and supposed read-between-the-lines distinctions, when she doesn’t say it herself, and the things she says and the way she acts do not communicate what you’re saying about her.

Meaning, there’s a distinction between people who have been diagnosed and are suffering, and people who have been diagnosed (or not) and are cruel and have a total lack of insight and disregard for other people.

Mental health is complicated. You can’t divide people with bpd into two clean categories like that. That’s not how it works. And you CERTAINLY can’t lump people into the “bad” category simply because they don’t like how you talk about their disorder. You can’t see someone objecting to what you’re saying and assume that YOU know that they’re coming from a “total lack of insight.” People are not psychic. Larps is using the fact that some people with pds have a lack of self-awareness to dodge accountability when it’s convenient for her. It’s complete circular logic - something you would think she would be above, no? “they’re irrational, and when they complain about me calling them irrational, I can shut them down by saying that any complaint they make is irrational.” I know I keep saying this, but it’s true. In my first comment, I pointed out that this is her pattern, and what was her response? hashtag have u ever noticed how all these people have personality disorders. fucking exactly what I said her response would be, because that’s the only excuse she has. 

And yes, insight is a qualifying factor that “””exonerates”””” (quite a loaded word in this context????) someone from being “really” BPD. The thing about BPD is that they will not (or cannot) change- like it’s not a fixed part of your personality, and if it is- you deserve to be called out, and if it isn’t and you still behave like that… you deserve to be called out, still.

Again, no. If this is the case, then we need to make a second definition to separate “REALLY bpd” from “sorta bpd,” since currently they both meet the same diagnostic criteria. It’s not up to you, or larps, to create definitive new categories of mental illness.

I went from being told I had “borderline tendencies” to being diagnosed with full BPD, to basically nothing at all, because I became aware of those patterns, learned how to be objective about my thoughts and emotions, and practiced resisting them to the point where they only show up if I’m already in a really bad state. I don’t consider myself to have - or to have had - a personality disorder, because I’ve almost completely gotten rid of those mental reactions. But I know people who do have BPD, who are self aware, who are trying the same things I did, but the difference is that even though they now have the tools to keep them in check, those mental and emotional reactions are still present for them, and likely always will be. To say they don’t REALLY have bpd because they’re able to control it is frankly insulting. “If you’ve been able to improve it through treatment, you never really had it in the first place.” I know that’s not how you meant it, but that’s what it boils down to.

BPD is not defined by a lack of self-awareness. It’s a pattern of ingrained emotional and mental reactions (and, subsequently, behaviors). These often develop as a method of self defense against external abuse. Or sometimes there’s no abuse and it’s there anyways. The cause isn’t always clear. But the criteria calling these symptoms “pervasive” doesn’t mean the individual is unaware of them. People who know they have bpd, and who are working on treating their bpd still have bpd.

“...deserve to be called out”... it’s not larps’ business to “call someone out” for having bpd. She can call someone out for acting like a shithead, but simply having bpd is not a flaw that needs to be criticized. Your phrasing makes it seem like that’s what you’re saying, and although I’m pretty sure that’s not what you meant, that’s what larps seems to think.

Not only are neither you nor larps qualified to determine the “category” of bpd that people on the internet who you’ve never met fall into, but even IF that’s how she sees it, then, again, she needs to say that herself, and she needs to reflect that view in the way she treats people.

But to conclude, she really does make that explicitly clear that she doesn’t think everyone with BPD is a “screeching, manipulative, hysteric”.

Where

You made a bunch of excuses for her and I still have no reason to believe any of it is true

However, I’m mostly speaking for myself here because I’ve been hanging around tungle for too long and I mostly want to say that this all doesn’t really matter. Like, so many feminists on here ramble on about “but what about bpd women who get misdiagnosed?” yeah I didn’t face brutality at the hands of snarky women on the internet. These are not the people that even enabled the violence that me or many other women with trauma face.

Again, I didn’t say that. I don’t think she’s destroying lives either, I was just frustrated, saw that many other women are frustrated about her too, and I felt like saying something, so I did. That is the extent of my motivations here. I do think that she is spreading harmful stereotypes and misinformation, but I’m under no delusion that she is causing damage on a massive scale. She is, however, just one more raindrop in the proverbial ocean of mental health stigma. Insignificant as a single drop may be, surely it’s no less significant than any of those people with bpd whose bad behavior you say should be called out. If it’s larps’ business to call them out, then it’s just as much my business to call her out.

It’s not up to her and other women like her to clarify every single thing they say- people DO generalize and we should be able to communicate without having to specify for everyone.

I’m not asking her to clarify “every single thing” she says, I’m asking her to stop acting like a shithead, labeling people she’s never met, acting like she’s an authority on personality disorders, and using her actually wildly skewed perception of these disorders which is steeped in regressive, harmful, and demeaning stigma and stereotypes about mental illness in order to manipulate her way out of being held accountable for any of it. I’m not telling her to stop generalizing for the purpose of communication, I’m asking her to stop making inaccurate generalizations based on stereotypes, and to stop using “cluster b” as a catch-all for bad behavior. Just because someone is a shithead, or unreasonable, or overdramatic, doesn’t make them borderline, and it’s insulting to the people with bpd who are truly good people, who also have to deal with their disorder being an internet trend for self-dx’ers to milk sympathy and excuse their abusive behavior (sounds just like what larps would diagnose as cluster b, I know, but it turns out that many people who don’t have bpd exhibit these traits as well), deal with shitty treatment from healthcare providers who read the diagnosis and think they know everything about you before you even walk in the door (back when I had the ‘full bpd’ diagnosis, a therapist said to my face that people with bpd were considered ‘used goods,’ and my current psychiatrist treats me with an absurd and totally unjustified level of suspicion), deal with the massively pervasive stereotypes everyone else holds about bpd (ranging from ‘serial killer’ to ‘used goods’ to ‘fake trend on the internet to get attention’), as well as dealing with - oh yeah - the actual fucking disorder, as well as often comorbid cases of PTSD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc.

I’m just saying, it would be a lot more effective and hurt a lot less people you supposedly didn’t mean to target if you just called out the actual behavior instead of “calling out” a disorder. Additionally, I’m pretty sure that people with bpd who do lack self awareness are far more likely to respond to direct criticisms of their behavioral patterns than they are to respond to the label of bpd being “called out.” They’d just see the latter as more fuel for self-pity. It’s a little harder to justify being the victim of someone saying “hey stop being abusive.”

And if that’s not enough reasons for you, consider: people who have shitty behaviors who don’t have a cluster b disorder (yes, larps, they exist) are just gonna hear criticisms of a disorder they don’t have and brush it right off. Call out the actual behavior, and there’s a chance they might recognize it in themselves. It’s like a quadruple win.

A hallmark of bpd/npd/aspd/hpd is having no insight into that, that people say shit, and you take what you can and leave it-her, or me, or anyone else mincing that up….. doesn’t help bpd women live in a world where nobody is going to mince anything up ever. It did not help me when people coddled me, and I intuitively knew that and was deeply frustrated with it.

You’re right that it doesn’t help to have people make excuses for you or ‘coddle’ you. But not being unfair and pushing harmful stigma is not the same thing as “coddling.” Nor is “not mincing” words the same thing as saying things that are untrue, unfair, dismissive, and insulting. Much like Trump saying blatantly racist things is NOT “just telling it like it is.” (and no I’m not comparing you or larps to trump or calling anyone racist. except trump)

Many of the women who have ‘spoken up’ about larps on tungle, I’ve seen on other mediums (fb, wordpress) and they’re often just blatantly manipulative

Really? Am I being blatantly manipulative? Or insane? And, to reiterate, is what I’ve said on her post enough for her to assume that I - and anyone else raising these issues with her - ALL have personality disorders? Is it justification for her to say that I’m “glorifying” ASPD/BPD?

and will never have any insight to the fact that all of this is really a non-issue

I gave you several examples above, and here's your treasure trove:

https://larpsandtherealgirl.tumblr.com/search/cluster%20b

Notice how she loves agreeing with everyone saying they’ve been abused by someone with a cluster b disorder, or otherwise says something negative about a person/people with a cluster b disorder, makes sweeping generalizations and basically uses “cluster b” with the same tone that you would call someone an asshole - that is to say, using the same logical standards of “you said some shit I thought was rude, so I think you’re an asshole & I’m going to call you one” when talking about psychological medical diagnoses?

Yeah, occasionally she claims she’s only talking about The Bad Ones, but that’s a pretty thin excuse when 99% of the time you make no attempt to differentiate, and post things like screenshotted symptoms (which - if the “good ones” with that disorder actually have that disorder - would apply to the “good ones” too) with captions like “these people are insane.”

Again, I realize you see the things she says very differently from me, but surely you can see where I’m coming from. And I would hope that you can see that my having this perspective does not justify saying I have a personality disorder, that I am insane, or that I am “glorifying” ASPD and NPD. I would hope that the similar shit she’s said about several other women who said things similar to what I said would also strike you as unjustified. You can make excuses that she wasn’t literally diagnosing me with a personality disorder, but you can’t make that excuse every single time she says something like this.

but instead “leave radical feminism because it’s so full of mean lesbian separatists” and make huge texts about it everywhere else and how rfeminism is a cult.

Okay... this is an entirely separate and irrelevant subject and I’m not sure why you’re bringing it up. I mean it sounds like you’re saying “people who don’t like being told they’re insane are just butthurt kek” which I really hope is not what you’re saying. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of radical women who would object to being called insane and having their opinions dismissed because of a mental health diagnosis, who would raise their objections and still believe in their politics, probably due to the fact that - in this context - those things have virtually nothing to do with one another.

My point is- she’s not just saying ppl who criticize her have bpd- they often do because people with personality disorders come out of the woodwork to be hideously angry at anyone who calls them abusive or “wrong” and “bad” (whatever that means at any given moment).

In summary: I appreciate and respect that you interpret the things larps says in a very different way, and I’m not trying to tell you that you should be hurt or anything like that. But I can’t accept what I see as excuses that you’re making for her, since she doesn’t offer any of those explanations herself, and I don’t see any evidence of the intentions you’re attributing to her, in her own words or behavior.

At the end of the day, larps is the only person who can speak for larps’ intentions (much like the people whose criticisms larps deflects by claiming they’re motivated by irrational emotion and a threatened victim complex SHOULD be the only ones who can speak for their intentions).

And at the end of the day, larps didn’t show anything but disrespect and a total unwillingness to even consider that the way she speaks to, and treats, people with bpd and people who criticize her portrayal and internet-diagnosing of bpd, might not be 100% faultless.

At the end of the day, larps read what I had to say about her dismissive attitude and manipulative, circular justification for avoiding accountability. Her response was to double down on calling people with borderline “insane,” and double down on her own belief that googling a list of symptoms makes her an expert on psychology, as well as an expert on the thoughts in other peoples’ heads. She used the exact circular, dismissive excuse I was calling out, yet again said that the people criticizing her were all doing so because of their - well “our,” I should say, since she diagnosed me - personality disorders, rather than their actual thoughts, opinions, and perfectly reasonable objections. And then she answered a bunch of messages laughing about how crazy and terrible “cluster b”s are. No, she didn’t literally say “EVERY SINGLE PERSON with bpd is like this,” but come on. She’s not the only person who can recognize patterns of behavior.

[becketted]

Randomly saw your post about Elongated man. Just a comment, no hate of your opinion as you're very much entitled to it, but do you think maybe they bring in an unlikable sexist character like this not for you to immediately like, but as a statement for growth? We've already seen in his short appearance in the show a capacity for change. There's a lot of idiots like that in the world, but they don't have to stay idiots and that's what the character can show us. (I hope) Give him time.

Nah, I don’t think so, we’re supposed to see his msogynistic comments and straight up harassment as funny, because our heroes are not calling him on that or acting like his behavior is a big deal (it is a big deal) so we’re not supposed to think it’s that bad. It makes our heroes complicit in misogyny because the show doesn’t think misogyny is that bad - they are not criticizing Ralph’s behavior or taking it seriously, obviously, in a show where in the same episode we had a Hugh Hefner stand in and they thought it was so fucking funny, a show that so often pulls the “adorkable misogynist” trope, a show where women are usually sidelined and defined by their relationships withmen, etc… The Flash is a sexist show, so no, I don’t think they are making any kind of important point with this toxic character.

The guy has already crossed a line, and the characters have not called him out on that, rather they acted like his disgusting behavior is a minor annoyance that just makes them roll their eyes, instead of telling him he’s not allowed to spew that garbage or treat women like that. It’s for comedic effect. Barry talked to him seriously about how he should prioritize victims over catching culprits and that was the arc of the episode, but he didn’t comment on his misogyny so we’remeant to believe Barry is okay with having that kind of behavior in Team Flash. Ok.

And even if they had brought him on for growth it’s gross, white male characters on fiction can be as disgusting as they want and then get a million chances to “grow”, that’s how the kyriarchy perpetuates itself. Say no to that crap. 

We don’t have to learn to give shitty white dudes a second or third chances. The whole history of fictions has conditioned so that we do exactly that. We have to unlearn that behavior. We have to learn to prioritize the victims of shitty white dudes over their “right” to grow at the expense of others, and at the expense of spreading toxic ideas.

There’s a million stories about white male assholes changing for good (while everybody around them either have to bear with the hurt for the sake of their growth or actively have to do emotional labor for them), do we need another one? No, we don’t. Those stories only teach us to give a pass to abhorrent behavior and to minimize the pain of the victims so that some white dude can “grow”. Nah, we shouldn’t give him time, we’ve already seen this shit in every other show and it’s brainwashing us. We need to stop acting like this is not harmful just because the show wants to pass it as “humor”, it’s harmful and toxic and in light of the discoveries of what kind of environment the DCTV verse operates in it’s truly disturbing. It’s disturbing how fandom doesn’t consider it serious.

Which, it’s the other point. In a fandom wthat often villanizes people of color and/or women when they have done absolutely nothing wrong I’m not about to give a shit about the millionth “this gross white dude is actually a hero” arc especially when the character already has a bunch of people willing to track down every negative comment made about him and tell people they are not allowed to discuss the shows’s misogyny in the main tags.

Like, idk anon, I hope you have sent messages to every person who puts posts about how Iris West should die in the main tags, and you haven’t just come to defend a misogynistic white dude in other people’s inboxes. Because if not, the fact that fandom can go to bat so hard for a sexist white male we’ve known for two episodes but no one gives a shit about the calls to kill off the black female lead of the show… well, that’s the worst part of it all.