#you know. I don't think he needs to worry you can say a lot about lucanis. but fundamentally he's not a quitter
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what does the party think of loop being a different siffrin. like why theyre here. likee do they think loop is a siffrin who.. succeeded? a siffrin who died?
[context: Dagger Ending AU]
Ooh yes. Here's everyone's theories from the first week or two, and what Loop had to say about them!
They've all discussed their theories together (though with some details omitted when Bonnie's there), and they have varying opinions on each other's, but they mostly stick to arguing their own if just because they have a clandestine bet going on. Maybe a little gauche, but sometimes you need to lighten the mood by acting the same way you do for sillier topics.
Bonnie's theory: Siffrin asked the stars for a friend.
Bonnie's story is inspired by some fairytales they were told when they were younger. Those fairytales were inspired by stories from the forgotten island, so Bonnie's version here actually brings it closer to the originals again! Though of course, with a Vaugardian twist.
Bonnie says: Siffrin was worried about being left alone, so since he really likes the stars for some reason, he asked the stars to be his friend forever. So one of the stars came down to be with him! But obviously a dot of light wouldn't make a very good friend, so they had to Change to be a person â and a dot of light that isn't a person yet wouldn't know how to Change right yet, so they just cheated and copied Siffrin. But it's impossible to Change to be exactly like another person, you can only ever be a new version of yourself, so that's why Loop isn't the exact same as Siffrin.
Bonnie: I know you don't want to explain to us why there's two of you, and why you're not aâ you're... more different than people can normally be, but if I tell you my thee-ry, will you at least just say if I'm right? Loop: Hm... Probably not. Loop: But you should tell me anyway! [Bonnie explains their theory.] Loop: Aw! That's a very cute story~ [Loop's smile becomes more forced.] Loop: That is all I am, aren't I? A star friend for pooor little Siffrin, so he doesn't have to be all alone? Bonnie: I knew it!!! Bonnie: Do you miss being a normal star, up in the sky? [Loop takes a deep breath.] Loop: I miss a lot of things. But I asked to be here. Bonnie: Oh! Did you ask for a friend, too? It would make sense for the stars to pick you to send, if you were lonely too. Loop: ... I did! You're very good at this. Bonnie: Of course I am!!! Loop: You know, you should tell your story to stardust. I think they'll like it better than I do. [Bonnie runs off to tell Siffrin about it, and then to tell the other adults that Loop said they were totally right.]
Isabeau's theory: Loop is a sadness made out of Siffrin's self-hatred and loneliness.
There's stories about people finding "their" sadness that mirrors them exactly, including both fiction that uses it as a metaphor for inner battles, and folktales that claim to be true. Isabeau used to not believe the folktales at all, because they vary so wildly, and surely one single person's emotions couldn't be strong enough to make a sadness as sapient as some of the stories claim â no sadnesses are that clever, not even the big powerful ones that are made out of so many people's emotions that they aren't even vaguely human-shaped.
But, now, well... If it is possible, it's hard to find any negative emotions stronger than the reasons someone tried to kill themself. And it's undeniable that Loop seems to be closer to a sadness in physiology than they are to any living creature.
Plus, there could very well be some other factor that pushed Loop into full personhood! Some of the stories include the sadness feeding on its originator until the person wastes away and the sadness takes their place, which is far-fetched, but so is this whole situation. Or, animating a statue kind of involves putting a bit of yourself into it â your craft energy, your intentions â so perhaps Siffrin had put a lot of themself into Loop, in a way that isn't possible with something nonliving. It would explain the craft exhaustion, too, if Siffrin had fueled Loop's becoming in some way or another.
Isabeau: Bonnie said you said they were right. That you're a star sent to be Sif's friend. Loop: I'm sure they did. Isabeau: ... But it's not true, right? [Loop looks away.] Loop: ... I didn't actually tell them it was. I didn't lie to them. Just... parts of it. Isabeau: Parts of it were true? Isabeau: Which parts? Loop: ... What do you think? Isabeau: Well, it would depend on exactly how they worded it, wouldn't it? They keep changing their mind on the details. Loop: What do you think, then? Isabeau: About⊠Loop: Me. Isabeau: Right. [Isabeau makes a face.] Isabeau: I... don't know that it would do any good to tell you. Loop: Wow, that bad, huh? Now I have to hear it. Isabeau: Just, promise you won't take it the wrong way? [Loop squints at him.] Loop: I'll take it whatever way I want. Isabeau: Alright, fair enough. Alright. But, whether or not my theory is true, that doesn't change how I think about you, okay? You're a person, and you're our friend, and I'm glad you're here with us. Loop: Just get on with it, Fighter. Isabeau: Yeah, yeah, alright. Isabeau: Itâs... I think you might be a sadness? [Loop gasps dramatically.] Loop: Ooooh, how could you~? Isabeau: There would definitely have to be more to it. You are a person, and you're stable, Sif's moods don't affect you any more than they do the rest of us. But... you're not human. You don't need to sleep, you can't eat, you're just... not made out of living stuff? But you're not artificial either, you're not an inanimate thing that's been crafted to move. You're alive! And there's only one sort of... being... that I know of, that's alive but not living. And, well... Sif...... Loop: ... They were so very, very sad. Isabeau: Yeah. Loop: Well! It does make sense! Loop: Of course you'd go for the depressing, realistic answer! Loop: You're entirely wrong, of course, but... Loop: I... [Loop looks down at their hands.] [They move their hands up, to grip their arms.] Isabeau: Sorry. I knew you wouldn't like it. I swear it really, really doesn't matter, okay? However you... got here... you're here now, and you're you, and we're glad of it. Loop: ... Isabeau: I'll go see if Bonbon needs any help with dinner.
Mirabelle's theory: Siffrin killed himself, and he both got brought back to life and lived on as a ghost.
To be exact, he successfully(-ish?) committed suicide when he said he was going to go take a nap in the meadow. She thinks it's an earlier attempt rather than the one Odile saw because: Siffrin had originally told Isabeau he wanted to talk again with someone he'd spoken to the day before â which could only have happened earlier in the day, because Siffrin was never left alone later â and while that could be a lie it also explains how Siffrin knew that Loop was at the favor tree at all; Odile mentioned how confident and unflinching he was about it, which could be explained by having done it before; and everyone agrees that the recent changes in Siffrin started, though more subtly, after the nap in particular.
Siffrin not dying from his late afternoon attempt isn't necessarily as much of a factor â Vaugardian ghost lore includes stories of people being haunted by earlier versions of themselves that theyâd Changed away from, so thereâs precedence for living people having ghosts. Of course this means there are other major Changes besides death (or deciding to die) that can create a ghost, but the other ways Siffrin has changed don't seem quite dramatic enough in the right way to have been the catalyst. In fact, itâs strange than Loop seems to be the more Changed of the two! But perhaps pre-Dormont Siffrin actually was more like Loop and just hid it better, or perhaps Siffrin used to be more like Loop at an earlier point in their life, and had somewhat Changed but not enough to be happy with themself. Either way, any of Loop's traits that post-Dormont Siffrin doesn't seem to share much at all would be parts of themself that pre-Dormont Siffrin "killed".
Mirabelle: Loop... You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but... Are you a ghost? Loop: You know, stardust guessed the same thing! And I told them... Well, I don't remember anymore. Something about the Favor Tree being my grave? Loop: Anyway, you could sort of say that! Except, how could I be his ghost when he didn't actually die? You made sure of that. Mirabelle: Well... I thought maybe... Mirabelle: Maybe Siffrin did kill themself? Before that? And you're the parts of Siffrin that they killed, but you stayed because... because you still had things to get done, or Siffrin still needed you, or⊠or something like that...? Loop: HA! Loop: Yeah, something like that!!! [Loop laughs hysterically for a bit, then suddenly stops.] Loop: ... Go away, Housemaiden. [Mirabelle leaves to fetch Siffrin.] [While she's gone, Loop leaves the camp.] [Siffrin finds them and brings them back several hours later.]
Odile's theory: Siffrin wished for a companion.
The final loop through the house didn't include either of the forgotten language books on wish craft, but it did include discussion of the impossibility of time craft, and the diary where a lonely person wished for a copy of themself. Odile initially dismissed the diary as creative fiction, but it was still fresh on her mind when she met Loop later that day!
During the next couple days in Dormont, she asked Euphrasie about how she crafted Mirabelle's blessing, because she loves cutting-edge craft. The conversation turned to the King's impossible time craft, and Euphrasie said she thinks he probably used wish craft. She explained that she doesn't know much because it's hard to find anything more than brief mentions of it, but she's confident it's real. She's pretty sure you need to do very particular things in order to use it, though â not any old wish will do â and she doesn't know what those things are. But it's probably the only way the King could have gotten the power to stop time, and there's a chance that the people of Vaugardeâs wishes for salvation contributed to his defeat (but she's not sure because who knows if anyone actually wished the right away).
Now, knowing that wish craft could be real⊠itâs strange to think that Siffrin might know about something basically unheard of. But they did know about the orrery in the house, and caring about stars is basically unheard of, too! And⊠Loop says theyâre a star⊠and the King has stars on his armorâŠ.. And itâs risky to use one guess as evidence for another, but that could be three instances where the shape or knowledge of stars appeared alongside the use or knowledge of wish craft. And Siffrin spoke to Loop at the Favor Tree, and supposedly thatâs where they spoke the day before too, and a Favor Tree is a place where you ask for something you want.
Siffrinâs craft exhaustion could be a point for or against; on one hand, making a copy of yourself must be powerful craft, but on the other hand, wish craft was what allowed the King to perform craft so strenuous that it shouldâve instantly killed him. Plus, Siffrinâs exhaustion didnât hit till at least a full day after they went to the Favor Tree alone the first time. So Odile doesnât know enough to call that factor either way.
And why would Siffrin try to kill themself shortly after their wish came true? Was it just not everything they hoped it would be? Siffrin and Loop fight a lot, but they obviously care for each other a lot, too⊠But maybe even getting something they really wanted could make a depressed person feel worse, if it doesn't help as much as they hoped it would, and they decide that means theyâre hopeless.
Odile decided on this theory by day three. There are other mysteries that arenât as neatly explained by it, like the ease with which Siffrin navigated the house, but perhaps theyâd made a second wish? Or perhaps that was the influence of the Vaugardian wishes that Euphrasie talked about? And over the following weeks, Siffrinâs behavior has only gotten stranger, in worrying, unexplainable ways. Odile is finding many different pieces to an unknown number of puzzles⊠but sheâs fairly certain sheâs got a good start on the Loop corner.
Loop: Well, Researcher? Everyone else has told me their theories on what and how and why I am. What's yours? Odile: I was wondering when youâd ask. My best theory is that Siffrin made a wish â for a friend who wouldnât leave him, or someone who understood what he felt, or something along those lines â and your existence was the answer. Loop: ⊠Loop: Same story as the Kid, huh? Odile: You did say that they got parts of it right. Loop: It just seems a bit unrealistic for you, Researcher~ Stardust wished for a friend and one just fell out of the sky? Odile: Your entire existence is unrealistic, Loop. But if a craft has the power to freeze an entire country in time, surely it also has the power to create life. Or split it, perhaps. Loop: ⊠But the king used time craft. What does that have to do with wish craft? Odile: The Head Housemaiden of Dormont believes wish craft is what gave him the power to stop time. Loop. W- How does she know about wish craft?? Odile: How do you, Loop? Loop: Theâ Itâsâ [Odile waits patiently.] Loop: The book! The, the diary, in that room, with theâ the thing for the stars. It talked about wish craft. Odile: Ah, of course. The diary of a person who felt lonely and misunderstood, so they used wish craft to make a copy of themself. The diary youâve never seen, because you⊠branched off, letâs say, the day before we fought through the House. Loop: Stardust told me about it! Odile: Of course. You know, they remember a surprising amount about the House? It's been several weeks, and you'd think between the traumatic injury the day before and the fevers afterwards, even the average person would consider it all a bit of a blur. But they still remember details that the others have forgotten, about conversations it seemed they were barely paying attention to. Even one or two things that I don't remember at all. [Loop breathes shallowly.] Loop: Wâ What are you implying? Odile: Nothing in particular. However shaky the wish craft theory seems, I'm even less sure about everything else. Loop: Well, you should be! Because there is nothing else! [Odile sighs.] Odile: I'm sorry, I know you don't want us knowing about these things. You and Siffrin both. But he's... not doing well. [Loop looks away.] Odile: And frankly, I don't think you are, either. But we can't help if we don't know what the problem is! It's your choice not to tell us, but I'm not going to stop trying to figure it out. Loop: It doesn't matter! The other things. He has you now, all four of you. You're helping. They'll be okay. Odile: What about you, Loop? Loop: ... I'm helping too. I'm trying. I'm here to help them. Odile: Loop... [Odile is about to say something, but stops. She takes a deep breath before continuing.] Odile: It would help a great deal if you and he could be more open with us. Loop: ... Odile: Can I take this as confirmation of my theory, at least? Loop: ... Not quite. Odile: But I'm close. [Loop doesn't claim otherwise.]
#mirabelle's theory is so funny. imagine trying to kill yourself and you split like a hydra instead of dying#even funnier bc she's so right. she's got the emotional beats DOWN.#and even the details#yes siffrin killed themself after the morning and before the afternoon#just um. there happened to be multiple years in between those times.#and the instance of 'taking desperate action in an attempt to leave this world' was separate from all the times they slit their throat#or otherwise died on purpose.#anyway the other three guesses are fairly correct too ^^#in different sorts of ways <3#isat#isat au#dagger ending au#isat loop#loop#bonnie#isabeau#mirabelle#odile#it's weird putting them in a different order than normal.. but it had to be chronological by loop convo....#suicide mention#suicide#posts that take 48 hours and three script tabs and one wiki tab to write
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Think I Like You
Title: Think I Like You
Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Half Mink!Reader
Word Count: 4.1k
Master List
Summary: You try to figure out why Zoro wonât take you seriously even if the answer isnât what you expect.
A/N: Iâm not dead! Iâm just all over the place with a lot of stuff. I sleep a lot which I canât tell if itâs a sleep issue or a depression issue, but Iâm always tired. I still work full time but also do school part time now. Plus Iâve still got a boyfriend! But he wanted to end this weekend on 1062 which means Zoro brainrot for me.
You stretch and roll over, burying your face into your pillow. Ever since you changed where you nap, you've started sleeping so much better. Something about being more comfortable or something like that. The actual reason doesn't really matter. You're just happy you're sleeping better.
"You owe me for this."
"I don't owe you shit. Not my fault you nap in my spot." You reach up and pat his cheek. "What do I need to do for you to be quiet?"
"I already told you, you owe me."
You open your eyes just a little. "What could I possibly owe you? I don't like to drink, I don't keep money, not to mention I can't even tell if you're the type of man to be swayed by physical charms. What could I possibly offer you, Roronoa?"
"For starters, you can start referring to me by my name like everyone else does." He looks pissed. "You should fight me."
"You didn't take me seriously last time, Moss Head. Why would I bother trying again?"
He pulls on your ear. "I said like everyone else, not like how that idiot says my name."
You ignore him and bury your nose in his stomach. Dinner has been started, and if you don't ignore it you'll end up going to the kitchen early. It's less that Sanji minds seeing you, it's more of the fact that you struggle to suppress the urge to knock shit off the counter and dip your fingers in the sauces. Such is the life of someone like you.
You let yourself doze a little. You can still hear what's going on, but just like every common house cat, you ignore it. What you can't ignore is the gentle scratching behind your ears. As far as you remember, no one has done this since you were a kid. You don't hate the feeling, but you start to feel flustered over it. Ever since you left home, you've made sure affection comes at your own terms so you haven't had this in years.
There's no point in asking him to stop. You're clearly fond enough of him to nap on him, what's the big deal about getting ear scratches? Besides, he's the type to get embarrassed and loud if you point out you're awake. That's not something you feel like dealing with right now. You're too touch starved to complain.
Despite the comfortable conditions, you don't actually fall asleep. You spend the next forty-ish minutes pretending to sleep, waiting for dinner to be done. The time passes by relatively quickly, though you're sore afterwards. You couldn't bring yourself to even twitch, worried that he'd stop.
The dinner call goes off, and you pretend to wake up. You have no clue why you're acting, but it was too late to stop twenty minutes ago. Standing up, you stretch halfheartedly. At first, he doesn't say anything. It's only once he catches up to you that he starts asking questions.
"What's the deal with the noise you make?"
Raising an eyebrow, you look at him. "I don't snore, so I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I'm not stupid, I can tell you aren't snoring. The other noise, the one that's relaxing. I can usually feel it when you're laying directly on me."
"What do you mean? The other noise?" You pause to think it over before it clicks. "We aren't talking about that."
You know what he's referring to. It's not like it's something you can control, but it's still embarrassing. Of all people to be you around, it's been Zoro. No one on the crew has judged you for being what you are, it's just embarrassing to be a mix. Your mother's human, and your dad's a mink. You look decently human, just with a few quirks.
"What do you mean, we aren't talking about it? We're talking about it right now."
Your face starts to heat up. "I mean I don't want to tell you."
His eyes narrow in suspicion. "Why not? Is it supposed to be embarrassing or something?"
"If I say yes, will you drop it?"
"Yeah, sure."
His face instantly relaxes. If you could smack him, you would. The last time you tried, it hurt. So you put your hand on his shoulder and give him a push. The only thing it does is cause his other shoulder to hit the doorframe, but you use it to march past him.
You take your seat, leaning back against the armrest of the booth seat. Kicking your feet up on the space next to you, you watch the crew carefully. Everyone is smiling and in a good mood, so you don't have anything to worry about. You don't ever admit it, but you care about them even if it's difficult to show.
Zoro picks up your legs and lays them in his lap. Since it doesn't seem to bother him, you're tempted to just sit normally. You have no idea what's going on in that head of his, and you doubt he does either. However, you actually do enjoy touching him, so you'll stay like this for now.
There's more commotion as Sanji brings out the plates. The one you're most interested in is a large tuna fillet that gets set in the middle of the table. You can't stop staring at it, the tender flesh a beautiful golden color. It's hard to tell if it smells better than it looks or looks better than it smells. Sanji has never failed to impress you with his dishes, so you can't wait to sink your teeth in.
Before you can even start to load your plate, Sanji sets a small plate in front it you. It contains a disk of packed rice, some avocado slices, and chunks of fish. You're assuming it's more of the tuna. Whatever it is, it was made specifically for you.
You don't mind the special dishes. You'll try almost everything, and unlike Luffy, you'll eat it slow enough to give a review. Everything tastes good so you don't get the point, but it probably makes Sanji feel better to have honest reviews and not just someone who loves food fawning over his cooking. Though if you're not careful, you worry that he'll start having write an essay about it.
"And for you, a special tune tartare! If you like it, I'll make it again for everyone some time."
You nod. "Yeah, I'll let you know. I always do. Not that you've ever made a bad dish."
You can't stop the tip of your tail from flicking back and forth in mild annoyance. By the time you get halfway through the tartare, all of the fillet is gone. It's not like it's the biggest deal, you just wish you could've had some of that too. It's not fair that since you got a special tuna dish, that you don't get the other one.
"If you tell me what that noise was, I'll share," Zoro teases while pointing at you with a bite of tuna. "I bet you can't resist answering now."
"I'm a cat. I was making a normal noise that cats make. Consider it a compliment."
You lean forward and take the bite of tuna. It's flakey and melts on your tongue with a slightly sticky glaze that has hints of honey and garlic. You lick your lips savoring the balance of flavors. None of them are overwhelming, but it's hard to gauge in just one bite what you think about it.
"You can't just," Zoro stutters. "You can't just take the food off of my chopsticks. Get your own!"
You grab his wrist and lick the glaze off of the chopsticks. It feels like there's another flavor there that you can't quite tell what it is. It's some sort of herby flavor, that while you enjoy, you can't pin down.
"Here!" Zoro doesn't look at you as he shoves his plate towards you. "Just take it since I don't want your germs."
You want to tease him, but you'll leave him alone. It's better to leave it in front of other people since Robin's insinuations are becoming too much. For now you'll just eat the food. Later, you'll tease him.
â-
"You're still not taking me seriously, Roronoa. Why did you want to fight if you won't take me seriously?"
You lunge, hand reaching for his throat. He blocks it with his arm, causing your claws to dig into his skin. Using his arm as leverage, you pull yourself closer to him, swinging your sword at his side. His parry is effortless, and he looks bored. It's so aggravating that he won't take you seriously in a simple sparring match. Perhaps he'd take you more seriously if you actually tried to kill him.
You disengage before leaping over him. This time, you swing your sword at his neck as he turn around. It's once more blocked, and he smirks. You're just barely faster than him as he takes a halfhearted swing at your sword arm with his other arm. You catch the flat of the blade with your knuckles, steeling your arm against the shock wave of the blow.
Kicking your leg out in front of you, you aim for his knees, intending to bring him down. Despite the grip on his sword, he catches your ankle in his hand and pulls your leg to the side. You let your body pivot with the movement, twisting until your leg is behind you. You yank your foot forward as hard as you can, pulling him into your back.
He's quick to let your ankle go and grab your shoulder to steady himself. In a fluid motion, you swing your arm and grab your dagger. You flick it in your fingers and thrust towards his ribs. His hand trails down your arm to your wrist and pins it behind your back. He gives it a squeeze trying to get you to drop the dagger.
"Are you actually trying to kill him?" Nami tells from the side. "Are you stupid?"
You roll your eyes, sweeping your leg behind you and hooking Zoro's. Despite your efforts, you can't get him off balance, only causing him to take a step back. By now you're getting pissed off. You aren't a bad swordsman, it's just that this jerk is ridiculously smart in battle. This is probably the only time he'll use his brain all day.
You jerk your head back, hitting his jaw. The sound of the impact makes you regret it, knowing you'll feel like shit later. You manage to free yourself as he loosens his grip, and you elbow him as you twist back around. The only reason you're still going is because he won't take it seriously. It's like he finds it funny that he's able to fend you off so easily.
You rush towards him, tossing your weapons to the ground. Digging your claws into his shoulders, you use your momentum to knock him over. It only works because he's too busy rubbing his jaw to notice you in time. The two of you tumble to the deck, and you lean in as close as you can.
"Why won't you take me seriously? Is this just a game?"
Faster than you can blink, he's able to flip and pin you under him. He's even more smug than the last time you sparred, and you can't tell if you want to smack him or if you should kiss him. Not that you could smack him, he's got your hands above your head. While kissing him would let you win, you're not willing to fight that dirty in a friendly match.
"You're a brute, Zoro. You can't just manhandle the other crewmates just because you feel like it." Sanji pulls him off you. "If you were in the mood to fight I would've taken the offer."
You tune out their fight as Chopper checks your head and shoulder. You're a bit sore now, but you'll be fine in a few hours. Nothing keeps you down for long, even if it's usually just you going against the doctor's orders. The only thing actually bothering you is the fact that for a moment you thought he was going to answer your question. Though the fact you thought about kissing him is also an issue.
It's not difficult to figure out why you thought that way. Your parents made sure that you knew to find someone strong enough to protect you in case of something happening, even if you knew how to take care of yourself. That, and he's easy on the eyes. Even if he's an idiot half of the time, that doesn't matter. Your parents never said to find a smart man, just a strong one. Everything else was your choice.
Chopper hands you a damp towel, and you use to clean under your claws. Tiny spots of blood rest under them, probably from when you grabbed Zoro. If the pinprick wounds bothered him, he doesn't show it. He's too busy trying to shove Sanji off the boat. As long as you stay dry, it doesn't matter if they end up overboard. They can both swim.
After a few minutes, Nami separates them. You watch her glare at the men before you stalk off to take another nap. The sun is just starting to dip below the water, so finding a nice patch of sun to lick your figurative wounds isn't possible. You'll have to settle for sulking in some weird spot. Perhaps it's time to torment the fish in the tank once more.
Lounging on the sofa is probably the second best place to nap. The sound of the tank constantly humming while you watch the fish swim in tempting circles puts you at ease. You stretch out fully, let your arm and tail hang off the edge. The tip of your tails twitches slightly as you trace the movement of a particularly large bass. That should be tomorrow's lunch, perhaps in a stew. Even though it hasn't been long since you had food, your mouth starts to water at the idea of seafood stew.
"He really doesn't take you seriously, does he?"
You recognize Robin before she even speaks. Her stride is longer than Nami's with her steps being lighter than everyone else's. Not to mention she smells floral. It's never overpowering, but it allows you to pick her out from the crew.
"I guess not. Maybe I should've gone for his other eye."
She laughs, sitting down next to you. You aren't opposed to the company, especially if it's Robin. There something about her that puts you at ease.
"I don't think he'd like that," she muses. "What did he say to you?"
You scoff. "He didn't say anything. Bet he's too proud to take me seriously, like the jerk he is."
Robin smiles knowingly. "I'm sure he has his reasons. Maybe you should talk to him, just the two of you. I'm sure he'd tell you when no one else is around."
You frown. "What is he? A shy school boy? There's only one reason for not taking me seriously in a fight, and it would be him not thinking I'm even worth it. No point in having him tell me that in private, he can just keep it to himself."
She reaches out her hand, gently brushing your hair from your eyes. "Then what do you think about him?"
"I think he's an idiot who swapped out his brain for more muscles."
"Let me rephrase that. What feelings do you have about him?" There's a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "At least figure that out."
You shift so you can place your head in her lap. "I guess he's fine most of the time. I don't know why I enjoy his company, I just do. He's never really pushed me on anything, just sort of letting me do my own thing. Not to mention he's comfortable. As much as I hate admitting it, I suppose I like being around him."
She continues to brush your hair with her fingers silently. It's one of those tactics of hers. She'll stay quiet until you keep talking.
"What do you want me to say? He's nice enough to me, I can respect him as vice-captain, and he's decent looking. Everything else I think about him is my little secret." You're starting to get irritated talking about him. "Actually, I think I'll go talk to him now. I'll drag that answer out of him if I have to."
Robin looks at you with worry as you sit up. "Perhaps this is just a misunderstanding. What are you going to do if his answer isn't what you expect?"
"I'll deal with it when it happens," you say with a shrug. "It's not like it'll be anything surprising."
You take your time wandering around the ship. It's not hard to tell where he is, you'd rather put it off for a little bit longer. This weird feeling in your chest has been bothering you a lot lately. It can't be ignored anymore, but that doesn't mean you're one hundred percent ready to admit it.
Thankfully, he's exactly where you knew he was. You won't tell him that you enjoy finding him when he's working out. Something about him being shirtless is nice. Not that he usually bothers with wearing a shirt, so you can usually just stare whenever you want. Maybe he just likes the attention, and you'll gladly give it to him.
As soon as he leans back on the bench, you sit on his lap and stretch out over his torso. You rest your chin on your hand, pressing your palm on his chest. Watching as he sets the barbell back on the stand, you wait for him to start talking. It would be fine with you if he kept working out, but he seems opposed to the idea.
"Is bothering me amusing to you?"
You tilt your head slightly. "You're not cute when you're mad, so no. I was just hoping we could talk."
"You don't have to sit on me to talk."
"That's just personal preference. Besides, you tend to avoid talking about certain things and this keeps you from leaving." you say with a Cheshire grin. "I enjoy your touch, so this is ideal for me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Zoro looks away from you. âYou keep saying weird stuff.â
You donât even blink as you respond, âI enjoy your touch. Thatâs what that means. Iâll even be nice and tell you the answer to your question from earlier. As a cat, I sometimes purr when I feel comfortable and content. Though some cats purr when scared.â
âSo youâre scared of me? Is that what that means?â
âNo. The only thing particularly scary about you is the fact that youâre an idiot.â Your ears twitch. âBut since I answered your questions, you can answer mine. Why donât you fight me seriously?â
He looks at you for just a moment, before looking at the ceiling. Itâs like heâs embarrassed by the answer and is hoping youâll forget about it. However, youâve already made up your mind about what you want. Youâre just waiting to see what heâll do.
âI-,â Zoro cuts himself off to hide behind his hand. âI could hurt you really bad. That would be bad.â
Your tail swishes on the ground in mild irritation. âSo you think Iâm incapable of defending myself. That would explain the times youâve interrupted my fights.â
âItâs not that!â He sits up, wrapping an arm around your waist to make sure you donât tumble to the ground. âI donât want you to get hurt if Iâm around. Itâs my job to make sure youâre safe.â
Youâre nose to nose with him now. Even at this distance, he canât seem to make eye contact. You can smell the liquor from dinner on his breath. It would be so easy to close the gap and kiss him, but for some reason the thought makes you nervous. Youâre usually close to him, so why is this time different?
âWhy should you keep me safe?â you mumble. âDo you save me out of obligation for the crew? If so, arenât there better people on the crew to swoop in and save?â
âDoes it matter why?â The way that his lips almost touch yours as he speaks makes you flustered.
You close your eyes. âYes. I donât want to get my hopes up if you think of me as nothing more than a burden of a crew-mate. Just be honest with me for once, Zoro.â
You donât regret the soft begging tone as you say his name. You regret not saying his name in that almost pathetic tone sooner. The way that he kisses you makes your head spin. Even though heâs holding you close, you have to wrap your arms around his neck to make yourself feel more steady.
Zoro kisses you like heâs been wanting to for months. His hold on your waist makes it impossible to move, and the way that his hand grips yours hair makes you moan. You can barely breathe as his tongue explores your mouth, your grip on reality slipping as his fingers dig into thigh.
Even when he pulls away to let you breathe, you find yourself lost in the way he touches you. Sloppy kisses trail down your jaw and neck, coming to an end with his teeth on your collarbone. The way that his fingernails scrape gently against your scalp as he tugs lightly on your hair causes you to expose more of your chest to him as you lean into his palm.
Youâve never felt like this before. Hot, heavy, and breathless all while being lightheaded. You wouldnât have it in you to resist him if he wanted more. In fact, the pathetic words of begging him to ravish you weigh heavy on your tongue. Yet he just continues to press kisses along every inch of skin exposed to him, ignoring how hard youâre panting as little moans escape you. Heâs oblivious to everything but the act of kissing you.
Zoro only pauses after you tug his hair harshly. You didnât mean to, you couldnât help the reaction to him biting down on the side of your neck. You couldnât even help the strangled groan that leaves you as he leaves a mark. For some reason, your body is shaking like you have some sort of withdrawal.
âYou okay?â he asks, his voice rough and low.
You kiss him again, desperate to get as close as you can. Desperation courses through your body as you realize just how badly youâve waited for this. Youâve spent months being almost attached to him so it makes sense, you just canât figure out how you missed it. The long nights spent curled up in his lap, face buried in his neck has left you craving him so much.
You whine as he pulls away, unwilling to let this stop. It doesnât even matter anymore how prideful youâve been up until this. Itâs so obvious how much you want him. Nothing could hide it anymore.
âZoro.â You donât even open your eyes. âPlease.â
He gives your thigh a tight squeeze as you whimper. You can tell that what little restraint he has is fading with each whine of his name. Yet heâs able to pause and hold you close, breathing heavily into your ear. Eventually, he covers your mouth with his hand, stifling your words.
âNot like this,â Zoro says, his tone meaning heâs serious. âIf you really want it, I want to make it special.â
âS-special?â You donât know what that means. When was the last time someone told you that you were special? âHow?â
âJust better than in the exercise room on the Sunny. You deserve to be treated better than that.â
You nod, and he lets his grip loosen. Despite the fact that nothing much happened, you feel drained. Maybe itâs because you really enjoy naps, but the exhaustion is hitting you hard. You donât hide it, letting yourself go limp as Zoro picks you up.
âYou can sleep in my bunk tonight. Not that it matters if I say you can as you usually show up anyway.â
You caress him jaw before giving his cheek a kiss. âThank you, Zoro.â
The flush on his cheeks goes unnoticed by all beside you. Not that it matters, you donât want to hide your feelings for him any longer. If he agrees to it, youâll parade your feelings for the world to see.
#reader insert#one piece#one piece x reader#roronoa zoro#one piece zoro#zoro x reader#zoro#zoro x y/n#roronoa zoro x reader#op zoro
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I was reading the two posts about Tim's Christmas list, and just thought of the Bat Family noticing how happy Tim is.
Maybe Damian sees the new brushes and asks why Tim has Stephanie's things?
"Oh no, those aren't her's. They're mine. Danny got them for me cause they were on my list. I've needed a new set for a few years, but I only remember when I'm on a mission and needs to use them. Isn't he so sweet? And he got me really good quality ones, too!"
Or Jason mocking Tim for finally getting new hoodies. And instead of huffing or quipping back, Tim just brightens. Smiling in a way Jason's never seen.
"Danny got them for me! They're so soft. There's some of my favorite gifts from him! It's honestly nice to have new clothes that aren't formal. I'm so happy he read my list." And kinda just bounces away.
Maybe Bruce asking if Tim finally got new cups for his office?
"Danny's so sweet, isn't he? He found my list for Christmas and decided to get me a few mugs and thermoses. It's great I don't have to worry about accidentally cutting my mouth open again." đ
Or Stephanie (who was injured on patrol and Tim's Nest, with apartment on top, was the closest place she could get to.) commenting on the fact that Tim has a lot of blankets, pillows, and plushies.
"Danny got them for me for Christmas I love how soft and warm everything is. He even found a plushie of a sleeping ghost! It's weighted, has a heating feature, and is made of glow in the dark fabric. Matter of fact, almost all the plushies and blankets he got me were weighted! Just like I had written on my list. They make me feel so loved. After all, he wants me to feel warm and safe, what's more considerate than that?"
Cass looks for Tim, knowing he's staying in the manor overnight because of a gala the next day. She hears music coming from the bathroom, but the light isn't on. So she goes in to turn it off, just in case Tim accidentally left it on. Only to see that there is a light on. A music box made to look like a record player spinning a vinyl, projecting blue light to look like you were underwater. Tim was in the bathtub, with the music box on the rim.
After the kerfuffle of them realizing Cass walked in on Tim taking a bath, and Tim getting dressed quickly, Cassandra asks him where he got it? It's cute and sounds really nice.
"Oh, it's a gift from Danny. He gave me it for Christmas. He knows I like cute things like that. And it's nice to listen to. He even got me this cat eared fluffy hairband for when I do my skincare or makeup! So cute, right?" đ„°
And slowly, all of them realize they never got Tim what he wanted. They try to justify it by saying he put tech on the list, but they look back through past lists and realize Tim changed his list because no one ever got him what he put on the list.
omg, I love your take on my posts! Your writing is so good! And you're absolutely rightâthe batfamily realizing their oversight and coming to terms with is such an interesting angle to explore! I like the way you went about it, especially all the times Tim kept mentioning the items were from his list!!
That said, I also wanted to address something that a lot of people were frustrated about when reading my original post.. many were upset with the family for not reading Timâs list, wondering if they lost it or ignored it on purpose. I realize I didnât provide enough context on my post for how the list actually functions!
The christmas lists in the batfamily arenât necessarily meant to be followed to the letterâtheyâre more of a reference in case someone doesnât know what to get. For example, Damianâs interests are pretty well known (art supplies, things for his animals, weapons), so most of the family can buy him something without needing to check his list. But for someone like Alfred or Bruce, where their preferences might be harder to pin down, the list serves as a guide.
With Tim, the family assumes they already know what he likes. They donât think they need to check his list because, in their minds, they already understand him. So they keep giving him things they know he usesâcameras, electronics, hard drivesâwithout realizing he already has more than enough. Itâs not necessarily neglectful; itâs just a blind spot.
Danny, on the other hand, actually looks at the list. Not only because he wants to get Tim the best gifts possible, but because he lives with him. He sees what Tim already has in abundance and what heâs been meaning to get for himself but keeps putting off. Thatâs why his gifts are so thoughtfulâhe pays attention in a way the others donât.
I hope this explanation helps clarify things for those who were confused or frustrated!!
#thanks for the ask <3#I kept seeing people pissed off at the bats and realized my mistake oops#hopefully this makes it a little more understandable!
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im a teenager with seasonal depression and a shitty fatigue causing disability and adhd currently still in highschool and: the way you talk abt minors right to autonomy, and How School Sucks, and everything related to that is. The Most Soothing Shit i hear all day. like. reading some of your posts abt how Good graduating early and being a Problem Child was for you was So Damn Calming.
most ppl immediately go to sooth me with the "but you Are smart, and you just need to try harder!! your life isnt entirely ruined today :) just go to school tomorrow and be Good and Learn and you'll be fineee. you aren't one of the bad ones, Dont Worry :))" and that makes me. invent new types of panic attacks and neuroses on the spot.
but having an Actual Adult whos like "no. school can infact be the fucking Torture pit for some people and it is So Utterly Fucked Up how Anyone can make you do Anything, actually. you arent a bad or damaged person this is Normal and your value isnt dependant on Schooliness. do whatever makes you least likely to kill yourself. you dont owe them shit, especially not being Good. be a problem, take up space."
is. genuinely the nicest thing Ever. to me. like. Makes me Kinda Want To Cry nicest thing ever. anyway yea. thanks for that.
ahh, this is lovely to hear. but i'm so sorry you're going through this.
i remember being in high school in 2011 when the gay teen suicides were national headlines, and everyone had Opinions on it, and the "it gets better" trend was everywhere, and -- while those videos did do a lot of good!! -- they just kind of made me more furious?? because i was so mad at all these adults basically saying, "yeah, high school is an institutional pit of death and horror, but eventually you'll be 18!!" i was like hey. Help Us Now.
it was actually the song "make it stop" by rise against that gave me any peace or sense of belonging, because. here was a band i loved full of straight dudes (as far as i know, anyway) who were just fucking MAD. they were righteously angry!! they gave a fuck what was happening!! and lyrics like "the gatherings hold candles but not their tongues" rang SO true to me, as someone who was dealing with endless "oh, so sad he died, but there was something wrong with his brain" discourse.
the memory of that has made it REALLY easy to hold onto my anger in adulthood. because sometimes kids don't need "it'll be fine, just hang on :)" they need "you're gonna be okay, but FUCK ALL THIS."
it's truly fucking Unconscionable to do what we do even to neurotypical, able-bodied teens with good home lives. i want to say i can't imagine being a teen with chronic fatigue and ADHD going to classes eight hours a day.... but i can!! i did that!! and almost died!!
i honestly think the lack of autonomy in the US school system is traumatic For Everybody. different levels of trauma, for sure! but i think that's part of why adults seem so disconnected from our teen years and can't remember the realities of being an adolescent. we overwrite the horrors.
the good news is: it Does get better after school. astonishingly so.
in the meantime: you don't owe anyone Anything. literally your only job right now is to survive. do whatever you need to do to not kill yourself or end up in jail. don't worry about anything else. i promise it Does Not Matter As Much As People Say It Does.
#replies#the jail caveat because some school districts (particularly Black ones) have a pipeline system for truancy#and i do think staying out of juvie needs to be as important a priority as staying alive. for your health#but beyond avoiding jail: fuck 'em. obviously do what you can but if you can't then you can't.#you know your limits better than the adults around you. it's okay to say actually. no. i'm not gonna be a good student anymore.#suicide#trauma#c ptsd tag#tangentially
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To Have and To Hold: Part 13
Fandom: Marvel - Moon Knight (Mafia AU)
Pairing: Marc Spector x F!Reader, Steven Grant x F!Reader, Jake Lockley x F!Reader
Summary: To ensure youâre always safe even after his passing, your father, a mob boss, makes you marry his right hand, Marc Spector. You donât necessarily hate Marc, but you donât get along either. Therefore, this marriage of convenience may be a bit difficult for you.
Series Masterlist
When Marc wakes up, your side of the bed is empty. He hears the shower on in the en suite bathroom, so he knows you're in there.
He stares up the ceiling and lets out a pained, deep breath. He really can't catch a break. Everything with you has been fucked from the start. He never wanted things to go this way. He knew it was going to be difficult, but he didn't think it'd be this difficult.
He thought he'd have more time. More time to get to know you more, more time to process everything. Just...more.
But Marc's life has never been an easy one. He's never gotten anything easy, never gotten any peace. So he just has to roll with the punches.
But fuck, is he tired of getting beat down.
You step into the bedroom, towel wrapped around your body, "Oh, morning," you say with a hint of surprise, but cover it with a nonchalant.
Marc sits up with a grunt, "Guess we should talk."
You nod, "Yup. Let me change first," you walk into the closet, closing the doors behind you. Marc takes the few minutes to gather his thoughts.
He needs to apologize. He might even beg on his knees for you to believe him. From now on, he has to be completely honest with you from now on.
You exit the closet wearing leggings and a loose fitted t-shirt. You stand there, hip jutted out, and arms crossed over your chest. You're guarding yourself. Marc understands, but hates it nonetheless.
"So?" you ask with a raise of your brow.
He clears his throat, "So, yes, I intentionally didn't tell you certain things. Not because I didn't want to tell you at all, but because I didn't want to worry you. You've already been under a lot of stress and I was just thinking about you." You open your mouth to retort, but he cuts you off with a raise of his hands, "I know. I know. I still should have told you about it all: the arrangement, your dad, my now ex-wife. I fucked up.
"I truly am sorry though. I never want to hurt you, Y/N. I care about you."
You had a feeling the conversation was going to go this way. You thought about various scenarios of it while you took your shower. Despite you wanting to paint Marc to be a villain, you know he truly isn't. Despite his rough exterior and "tough shit" you know he has a soft heart. You've seen it first hand the days following your arranged engagement.
You let your arms, and your internal walls, slowly fall.
"I get it...still fucking hurts that you kept all of it from me. And-And I don't know how I'm supposed to trust you-"
"I won't keep anything from you anymore. I promise. Anything that could put either of us or this arrangement at risk, I'll tell you."
"I'll do the same," you say in agreement.
He slowly nods, "Do you...have questions?"
"Who was she?" you ask as you sit at the corner of the bed.
"Layla El-Fouly. I met her back when I was a mercenary...I was ordered to kill her father. I was supposed to get close to her, kill her too but-"
"But you fell in love."
"Yeah. Then she found out that I was the one who killed her father and she left. Didn't see or hear from her in years."
"Did you try looking for her?"
He shrugs, "Not really. I understand why she left. I lied to her," he lowly chuckles to himself, "Guess I really don't have a good track record when it comes to marriages. Both of mine rooting from deceit." He looks down at his lap in shame.
"But you finally found her."
"When your father came to me about the arrangement, he already knew of my marriage to Layla. He gave me contacts to help me find her so I can serve her the papers. She finally reached out a few days ago. She wanted to talk before signing the papers."
You think about when you saw them at the cafe, how he was holding Layla's hand, looking at her. You felt that twinge of jealousy and insecurity crawling into your heart.
"Do you still love her?"
Marc gives a sigh, "I think a part of me will always have some care for her, but I don't love her. Not anymore."
You feel a weight lifting off your shoulders after that. Because, dammit, you know you've fallen for Marc. Despite everything, you really care for him and you know he'd treat you well in this marriage.
It was your turn to release a deep sigh, "Okay."
"Anymore questions?"
"I should have asked about this earlier on, but how long did you know about the arranged marriage before my dad told me."
"Two weeks."
"Did you help create my dad's plan to take Harrow out?"
He shook his head, "I didn't know a thing. I asked him to let me in, so I can help but he told me my strict orders were to get you out of there. All I knew was that he had a plan and it was probably going to end in his death."
"How has Steven and.."
"Jake."
"How has Steven and Jake taken to this life?"
He snorts, "Steven hates it. He's a pacifist, so he's not around often when I'm out and about. Jake...he's a rare sighting. But he's the kind of guy that doesn't care about what measures you take, all that matters is the outcome."
"Aren't you the same way?" you ask him with a challenging tone.
"I do what has to be done, but I do also try to keep in mind the consequences and who I might be hurting. Jake doesn't care so much for that."
"He sounds dangerous."
Marc snorts, "You have no idea, sunshine." He looks at you with soft eyes, "Are we going to be okay?"
You reach out, placing your hand on top of his, "I think so. Just, no more secrets. Got it?"
He makes an 'X' over his heart, "Cross my heart and hope to die."
"No dying anytime soon, please," you murmur and crawl over, pecking his lips, "I'm gonna finalize wedding stuff."
"Let me know if you need any help!" he hollers as you exit the bedroom.
"Will do!" you respond, your voice echoing through the halls.
"That went a lot better than expected," Steven says in relief.
"You're telling me, buddy," Marc murmurs back with a scoff.
"So it'll be happily ever after for you after all?"
"We can only hope, Steven," Marc replies back as he stands from the bed, and heads to the bathroom to shower.
#marc spector x reader#steven grant x reader#jake lockley x reader#moon knight#moon knight x reader#moon knight imagine#mob au#marvel au
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False Confidence: Chapter 15
Pairing: Javy âCoyoteâ Machado x Reader
Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe
Summary: The Athletic named Javy Machado the fifth sluttiest player in the NHL last year. Heâs a known playboy who leaves every game with a different girl. As far as heâs concerned heâs living the dream, playing his dream job with the dream lifestyle. Unfortunately his friends and bosses donât agree. At 33, they think itâs time for him to settle down. Youâre a kindergarten teacher at an esteemed private school. You don't expect much when you finally accept your colleagueâs invitation to attend her husbandâs hockey game but when you accidentally get separated in the post-game rush, you find yourself in a compromising situation with the last person youâd ever expected to meet. When his PR rep suggests a mutually beneficial agreement, your hands are tied. How long will you have to keep up the act? And how long will you be able to?
Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, anxiety, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.
Word Count: 5.2k
A/N: Itâs Family Day at Hard Deck Arena!
Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter
âJavy, be careful, you donât want to drop them!â You squawk as you follow Javy into the arena, narrowly dodging the giant duffel that swings behind him, holding his gear. Youâd argued that he wouldnât need it today, given that family day is mostly a free skate, but he said there was nothing wrong with being prepared. Heâs got the heavy bag thrown casually over one shoulder, and heâs balancing the brownies, his water bottle, and his keys in his hands. Youâre jogging to keep up, carrying your skates in one hand and Roxie in the other behind him. Youâre not exactly ecstatic to show off your poor attempt at skating in front of all your new friends, but Javyâs been looking forward to this all week so youâre putting on a brave face for his sake.
Javy leads you to the break room where youâd first been introduced to the team to find it already occupied by a few guys and their families. You see wives, a few babies, and even a few toddlers and small kids running around. Javy sets the trays on some tables set up at the front of the room. You wince slightly as you take in a meticulously crafted charcuterie board and various trays of fancy-looking hors d'oeuvres that look straight out of Pinterest. Suddenly your brownies seem silly, out of place at whatâs definitely much more of an adult event than youâd anticipated. They would be a lot more at home at a school bake sale.
âHey,â you tear your gaze from the table to see Javy giving you a concerned look. âTheyâre perfect,â he says firmly, like he can read your mind. He reaches over to lace his fingers with yours. âDonât worry about them,â he reassures you. âYouâre not the one that misread the invite.â You're about to tell him that you donât believe him but donât get the chance as an arm is thrown around your shoulder, jostling you as a blonde head cranes over your shoulder.
âOooo, whatâd you two bring?â Jake asks as he scans the table. âOh, fuck yes, brownies!â He whoops, reaching past you to grab a square. âFinally, some real food,â he grumbles around the brownie that made a beeline to his mouth. âRoadie these are the best, Iâm so glad you could come!â The arm around your shoulders squeezes you in an awkward hug.
âJake!â The three of you look up towards the voice to see Bugs frowning at him. She places her own trays down on the table as she shakes her head. âYou have no self-control you know,â she chides as the frown dissolves. Jake gives her a chocolatey grin in response and she rolls her eyes.
âOh, donât worry, I made sure they were healthy. I know you and Penny work really hard on their dietary plans, so I tried to keep them as nutritious as possible.â You pipe up in an attempt to further dissolve the situation.
âOh!â Bugs looks surprised and you wonder if youâve made yet another blunder until the expression melts into a huge grin. âI was upset that he ran straight in here without me when I asked him to wait.â She gives Jake a pointed look and he has the good sense to look chagrined. âIt wasnât because of the brownies, I promise! Heâs fine to eat brownies, they all are, but I really appreciate your attention to that concern. Anything helps, and I really appreciate it.â
âIâm sorry, Bunny, but I was just so excited to see my best friend,â Jake pouts at Bugs before giving you another squeeze.
âI thought I was your best friend,â Javy says with a playful scowl.
âNah, you canât cook for shit, Iâm trading you in for Roadie.â He ruffles your hair gently as your cheeks heat in response.
âJavy helped make the brownies, actually. He did a whole tray himself.â You pipe up in support of your boyfriend and Javy sticks his tongue out at Jake.
âAnd they didnât burn? Damn, Roadie, you really are a miracle worker.â He finally releases you from the hug, turning back to his girlfriend.
âWhere are the dogs?â He asks and she puts her hands on her hips.
âWhere do you think, mister? You ran straight in here without helping, theyâre still in the truck. Hopefully, theyâre destroying your seats as retribution.â
Jake disappears out the door with a muttered âfuckâ under his breath and you swear you can see a tiny cartoon whoosh of smoke in his wake.
âWhoâs the Roadrunner, now?â Bugs jokes and Javy chuckles as he heads out the door after his best friend. Roxie squirms in your arms and you set her down as Bugs uncovers a tray of what looks like bacon-wrapped shrimp. She follows your gaze and laughs nervously, âI know Iâm supposed to be a better influence, but Jake insisted on them.â You wave her concern off.
âThey look great,â you reassure her, glancing around for plates and napkins. âDo we haveâŠâ Bugs heaves a sigh, shaking her head as she scans the room.
âBob and Dragon were supposed to bring that stuff, I expected them to be here by now.â
âI can run to the store,â you offer.
âNo need,â a voice interrupts and the two of you turn to where Bradley enters the break room. Zamâs behind him, armed with grocery bags full of serving supplies.
âRule number one, Bugs? If you want something done on time? Do it yourself. And never, NEVER, put the boys in charge of utensils.â Zam says as she sets the bags on the ground and starts unpacking them at one end of the table.
âNoted.â Bugs nods with a chuckle and barks echo down the hallway, signaling Jakeâs return. Roxie perks up and heads out the door. Youâre torn over chasing after her, but Javy should be with Jake.
Bradleyâs looking towards the door with an uncomfortable expression on his face. âThe dogs come to family day?â He mutters under his breath and Zam rolls her eyes, clapping him on the arm.
âWhatâs wrong, Bear? You afraid of a few dogs?â You can see the humor glinting in her eyes at Bradleyâs discomfort.
âNo,â he grumbles as the doorway explodes in a mass of fur. You donât realize youâve been hit until youâre staring at the ceiling, your face is being covered with slobber, a heavy weight settled on your chest. You let out a soundless gasp of surprise as your lungs heave at the squish on them. You hear some yelling before the weight alleviates and youâre catching your breath, still staring at the ceiling until a familiar wet nose nudges at your cheek, concerned.
âIâm okay, Roxie, itâs okay.â You assure the dachshund as you sit up, your head spinning slightly as you readjust.
âMeep, are you okay?â Javy sounds genuinely worried as he drops down next to you, a hand at your back supporting you. Jake looks guilty as he maintains a hold on the collar of a frankly enormous dog. Sheâs a gigantic mass of copper fur and her eyes are dancing between the excitement that bowled you over and confusion at being held back.
âShe didnât mean to hurt you, she just gets excited,â Jake apologizes and you wave him off.
âItâs okay, Iâm fine. Just a little surprised is all.â You assure him as Javy runs a tentative finger over the back of your head, checking for a bump where you hit it on the ground. You wince as he presses on a particularly sensitive area and he waves Bugs over. She squats down on your other side. Taking over the prodding from Javy. âIâm fine, really. Itâs just a little spot, Iâm fine I swear.â You feel your cheeks heating in embarrassment from all the attention being brought to you.
âWhy donât you move this to your office, Bugs?â Bradley suggests, brown eyes meeting yours with a look of understanding. He comes over and offers you a hand up, carefully easing you to your feet. You squeeze his hand in thanks as Javy and Bugs lead you out of the room.
âDo you want me to carry you, Meep?â You wave him off.
âIâm fine, really.â
âBugs you have to check her for a concussion.â Javy insists and Bugs nods, leading you to an examination room.
âIâll take it from here, Javy, you head back.â He hesitates but Bugs isnât going to budge so he eventually relents. When you enter the room, you feel a little silly taking a seat on the examination table.
âI donât have a concussion,â you say as soon as Bugs closes the door. She turns to you with a smirk.
âOh, I know. Those boys are just a bunch of big babies, so itâs best to indulge them.â She sits down on the stool across the room. âWell just hang out here for a bit and then go back.â She opens a drawer and pulls out a ziplock bag. âYou want a gummy bear?â You take one and the two of you sit in silence for a moment. âDo you want some ice for your head? I know itâs nothing, but it could help with potential swelling.â
You shake your head. âIt already feels fine. I was more surprised than hurt, honestly.â
Bugs heaves a sigh. âIâm always telling Jake he needs to keep Pudding on a leash, especially when he brings her here. She just gets so excited when sheâs around people, especially new ones.â You nod in understanding.
âThanks again for making the brownies, I really appreciate you putting in the thought to make them more healthy, and for actually making something fun. So many of the other WAGs just make cocktail food and forget that these guys play a game for a living. They have the collective maturity of a five-year-old.â The two of you giggle at that. âHonestly, thatâs probably why youâre so good with Javy.â She points out. âYou do this for a living.â
âIâd say heâs more like a puppy than anything else.â You admit. âHeâs got good intentions, heâs just bad at showing it.â
âThanks for being patient with him. I know itâs not easy, but youâre right, heâs a good guy at his core, you just have to be willing to spend the time to see it.â You smile at Bugâs words.
âIâm not exactly a cakewalk either,â you admit, thinking about how much of your antics Javy has had to put up with over the past few weeks.
Bugs shrugs and you see a faraway look in her eye. âNone of us are, itâs what makes us people. All we have to do is find the right kind of people who're willing to handle all our bumps and bruises.â Sheâs right, you realize. Youâd been so nervous to be yourself around Javy at first, trying your best to hide your fears and anxieties. And while they didnât make you the easiest person to deal with, Javy had been nothing but patient with you. He literally rode through a panic attack with you on your first date. And by some miracle, he still wanted to be with you. There were plenty of people that would be easier for him to be with, and yet heâd chosen you. âJust because itâs difficult, it doesn't mean youâre not worth loving,â Bugs says, eyes soft. âJake taught me that. And Iâd bet that Zam taught Bradley that too. And if Javyâs not trying to show you that in his own roundabout way, then maybe heâs gone headfirst into the boards one too many times. I, for one, love having you as a part of our little family.â You feel your cheeks heat over Bugsâs sweet and heartfelt words.
âIâve never really had a group of friends before,â it comes out less of a blurt and more of a quiet admission. âSo itâs overwhelming, having so many people express interest in me all of a sudden. But just because Iâm having trouble processing it, doesnât mean I donât appreciate it. Youâve all been so nice and welcoming and I really am thankful for you all.â
âThis world is a lot for anyone,â Bugs says with a tired smile, âitâs hard enough without having to navigate it alone. Thatâs what draws everyone together, I think. The world of professional athletes can be so far removed, and the minute you get involved with one, whether thatâs as a family member, a friend, or a partner, youâre dragged right along into that world whether you like it or not. Zam and I already work in this, but at least we had a choice when we decided to fully step into the spotlight. You didnât get that choice. I canât imagine how hard that must have been.â
You remember the horror in your stomach when you found out about the photos of you and Javy first went viral. Youâd been sorely tempted to just call in sick for the rest of the day and lock yourself in your apartment for the rest of your days. Even after youâd started dating Javy, youâd found yourself constantly looking over your shoulder expecting photographers to have found you, desperate to pry open your personal life and expose it for the world to see. You were hyper-aware of the way people looked at you, from strangers at the grocery store to your coworkers to your studentsâ parents. You already went through your daily life fearing the attention and eyes of others, but your overnight exposure to the world had just amplified that. âIt was, but all of you made it worth it,â you admit. âIt felt like my world was ending for a second there, but having a support system really helped me get back on my feet. And sure, itâs not an ideal situation, but Iâm never going to fault Javy for that. Heâs doing what he loves and I know how that feels. Thereâs no better feeling. And this is just a small price to pay to have him, and all of you.â
Bugsâs smile is tender, âyou really like him donât you?â
You feel your cheeks heat in response as well as over the obvious word substitution that does little to diminish its weight in your mind, before nodding shyly. âBelieve me, Iâm just as surprised as anyone, but yeah, yeah I do.â
Before you Bugs can respond, a knock comes at the door to the office and Nat sticks her head into the room. âSorry to break up the party, ladies. Howâs your âconcussionâ doing Roadie?â She rolls her eyes as she says this and you giggle waving off her concern.
âNothing the curative properties of gummy bears and some girl talk canât cure,â Bugs says as Nat lets herself in. She perches on Bugsâs desk, taking a gummy bear from the bag that Bugs holds out. âWhatâs up?â
Nat waggles her eyebrows suggestively, âThereâs a dark and mysterious man asking for you in the break room.â Bugsâs eyes light up.
âCharlie! He actually came!â Natâs eyes bug out of her head as she almost drops the gummy bear she has between her teeth.
âThat broody hunk is your brother?â She asks, shocked. Bugs rolls her eyes.
âKeep that up, and Iâll tell him you said that,â she says pointedly and Natâs cheeks pinken slightly, âI better go find him before Jake says something stupid to him,â she hurries back out into the hallway.
âSo, Bugsâs brother?â You arch a curious eyebrow at Nat who rolls her eyes and chews her gummy bear loudly. When you donât give up the look, she shrugs dramatically,
âIn my defense, the family resemblance is not there. At least Bugs and Tucker look related!â
âAnd you think heâs cute?â You push and she barks out a laugh, shaking her head at you.
âLook at you, Little Miss Nosey, whereâd she come from?â You shrug, a smile creeping up the corner of your mouth.
âI guess I just hang out with you too much,â you muse and she lets out a faux gasp.
âRoadie, how dare you!â The two of you explode into a fit of giggles.
âOkay, Iâm fine, so letâs get back out there, I need to see your broody hunk,â you hold out your hand to Nat who lets out a groan.
âI hate you.â
âNo, you donât. Not really.â
âHere I was thinking youâd be able to fix Javy, and he just turned you into him.â She bemoans as you drag her towards the door to the office, rolling your eyes.
***
Nat manages to escape your hold and disappears into the labyrinth thatâs the hallways of the arena so you find yourself walking around, enjoying the silence, and trying to familiarize yourself with the layout. Most people are floating between the break room where the food is set up and the rink itself as the first few people have started skating. You know youâll have to head that way eventually, so youâre about to make your way in that direction when you remember that you wanted to try one of Javyâs brownies before theyâre all gone. As you approach the room, youâre surprised to find itâs quiet. You must have lost track of time. You duck in, making a beeline to the snack table, planning to just duck in and grab the brownie before hurrying over to the rink to catch up with the others so you donât see the figure in the corner until his voice catches you off guard.
âRoadie, thank goodness, help me, please.â You whip around, eyes wide in surprise, and you blink slowly as you take in Bradleyâs desperate features where heâs seated in a corner by himself. You arch an eyebrow in question before his frantic eyes glance downward, guiding your gaze to where Jake and Bugsâs pitbull puppy, Taz, is draped over his shoe, looking up at him with blue eyes full of anticipation.
âBradley you scared me, I didnât think there was anyone still in here,â you make your way over to where heâs sitting, your brownie forgotten for the moment. âWhatâs wrong?â His face is pinched in distress but you canât see what could be causing him discomfort. âIs it a muscle cramp or something? Should I get Bugs?â Your brows furrow in concern as Bradleyâs eyes widen in horror at the suggestion.
âNo, no you donât need to get Bugs, I justâŠâ his voice trails off and his gaze shifts again to the puppy lounging on his shoe. The tips of Bradleyâs ears and the tops of his cheeks are starting to pinken. âCan you just,â he clears his throat as the pink starts to blossom into an embarrassed red. âCan you get it to move?â
âIt?â You frown in confusion before you realize what heâs talking about. âWait, Taz?â Bradley nods furiously even as his blush deepens. âWhatâs wrong, are you allergic or something?â You examine the red splotches on Bradleyâs as he shakes his head.
âI just, I donât⊠It wonât stop following me.â You have to hold in the surprised laugh that bubbles up in your throat. âEver since it got here, itâs been following me. And then I sat down and now I canât get up.â You purse your lips together to hide the smile threatening to split across your face. Bradleyâs a big guy, one of, if not the biggest guy on the team. Youâve watched him shove other men his size around like theyâre nothing, and here he is, glued to his seat by a puppy not much bigger than his hand thatâs lying on his foot.
âSo you just want me to get him to move?â You ask and Braldey nods furiously. You squat down then, reaching out to scratch the tiny puppyâs head. He rolls over onto his back, still draped over Bradleyâs shoe and you scoop him up into your arms effortlessly. As dogs go, the Seresin dogs are some of the sweetest that youâve met. They wouldnât hurt a fly. âThere you go, big guy,â you coo at Taz. âYou want to hang out with me for a little bit? I think Bradley needs a break.â The puppy squirms in your arms, tail wagging as he licks at your cheeks enthusiastically. You turn back to Bradley as Taz gets comfortable, âconsider yourself a free man,â you say and he gives you a thankful look. âSo youâre not a dog person, huh?â
You think you see him try to suppress a shudder. âNot really, no. I was raised by a single mom so between her job and having to race me around to hockey stuff, we didnât really have time for pets.â
You nod. âMy parents didnât like pets, either. I had fish a few times growing up, but nothing bigger than that. Puppies are just big softies, though. They just want love,â you pause to kiss Taz on his tiny forehead. âSo no dogs, how about other animals?â
Bradley shrugs, âI donât mind cats. My godmother has one, but I think heâs still warming up to me. He doesnât really like anyone except her. Bob has a cat too, but sheâs terrifying. Sheâs one of those breeds thatâs huge, so she doesnât really feel like a cat. So, I donât mind cats, but Iâm not sure they like me.â
âHave you tried not frowning at them?â He gives you a look of surprise like hadnât expected you to crack a joke but you just shrug and give him a small smile.
âWhatâs that got to do with anything?â
âAnimals are extremely aware of our emotions, so if you frown at them, they probably donât think of you as a friend.â Bradley considers your words for a moment before nodding curtly.
âIâll try it.â Your smile widens softly.
âCan I ask you another question?â You ask carefully. You havenât had a whole lot of chances to get to know Javyâs defense partner and somethingâs been bothering you for a while now. Bradley gives you a wary nod.
âWhy donât you and Javy get along?â Bradley lets out a heavy sigh and you feel nerves twist in your stomach. Maybe you should have just asked Javy, but you wanted to get both sides of the story. âSorry if Iâm putting my nose where it doesnât belong, but youâre partners, right? Iâd think that would be easier if you were friends.â It sounds so childish when you say it out loud but you spend every day helping kids with conflict resolution, so you canât help but want to help Javy and Bradley with this. You know Javyâs a good guy and you get the feeling that his brooding partner isnât much different.
âNo, youâre right.â Bradley sighs deeply. âWe should be closer. I try not to let it affect the way I play, but I donât think Iâm as good at it as I think I am.â You nod, silently encouraging him to continue. âIâve been in this league a long time, twelve years. And even before that, Iâve been playing hockey as long as I can remember, and Iâve seen a hundred guys like Javy. They let the power the world gives them get to their head. They live life like theyâre untouchable like there wonât ever be consequences to their actions, even when they play a game where there always is.â He has a good point. When youâd first been introduced to them, youâd been perplexed by the concept of penalties, power-plays, and penalty kills, but as rough-and-tumble as hockey is, there are consequences to a playerâs actions that directly affect the outcome of the game. âAnd while Iâve seen some guys get off scot-free, Iâve also seen guys who get burned and burned bad. They ruin their lives or worse, ruin someone elseâs and walk away unscathed.â
âWhen I was playing in Philadelphia, we had this rookie join the team. And these rookies, theyâre these 18-year-old, fresh-faced kids who get handed a salary thatâs more money than they know what to do with and get thrust into a world where theyâre essentially celebrities. They have money, they have power, and they run around like a kid in a candy store, testing the limits of those things. Anyway, this kid, heâd been a hotshot in college and it wasnât a matter of whether he got drafted to the NHL, just a matter of what team. He had an ego the size of a truck and didnât have a lick of sense in his head.â Bradley chuckles, his voice sounding almost fond.
âMy coach knew that, however, and he had this kid move in with me. And I hated him. He was so young and fresh and I didnât want to have to come home after a long day and play parent. And yet, I did. It wasnât easy, but I managed to wrangle him and get some sense in his head. It wasnât easy by any means. There were even nights that I locked him out of the house for staying out too late, and it started affecting the locker room. And of course, he tried tattling to the coaches. I thought it was over for me, honestly. Coach called me into his office one day and I thought I was getting traded or something, but instead, he thanked me. He said âhe doesnât appreciate it now, but he has no idea how good he has it.â He was right of course. We worked things out, eventually.â Bradley pauses, a soft smile on his lips. âAnd now heâs one of my best friends.â You smile too and you can see the fondness in Bradleyâs eyes. âYou know, just the other day he called me and he said he asked our coach if he could take in one of the rookies next year.â
âSo thatâs why youâre tough on Javy?â You ask, softly. He nods, turning to look at you.
âI know heâs a good guy, even if I donât show it. And heâs a good player, better than me, but heâs not going to change if I tell him that.â You nod in understanding. âWell, that, and he wonât stop flirting with my girlfriend.â Bradley scowls and you laugh at that. âI know he doesnât mean anything by it, but it still pisses me off.â
âThatâs fair. The player you were talking about, whatâs his name?â
âWyatt Eaton, he still plays for Philadelphia. Youâll probably get a chance to meet him the next time the Flyers come to town.â
âIâd love that,â you say and Bradley returns your smile.
âYou've been good for him,â Bradley says and you feel your cheeks heat at the compliment. âI still stand by the fact that you deserve someone better than him, but as long as youâre happy, Iâm rooting for the two of you.â You smile shyly, bumping your shoulder against his.
âI am. Thanks, Bradley. And thanks for taking care of Javy, I really appreciate it.â He just nods in response. âWe should probably get to the rink. Can you grab me a brownie? I want to make sure I get one of Javyâs before theyâre gone, and my hands are kind of full.â Bradley goes over to the snack table and you follow still carrying Taz.
âSo Javy actually made these?â He sounds suspicious.
âUnder my supervision, donât worry, but yeah he did.â You canât help the pride in your voice as Bradley cuts off two pieces, wrapping one in a napkin before biting into the other. Your stomach drops as you wait for his reaction. He hums thoughtfully, nodding quietly.
âNot bad, Machado, not bad.â He says and you grin. âAlright, letâs go.â
***
When the two of you make it to the rink, you see that most people are already skating. You see the guys cheering as Zam skates gracefully across the ice, jumping and spinning with the practiced perfection of a figure skater. Bradleyâs eyes are on her the moment you enter the rink, a smile on his lips whether he realizes it or not. You deposit Taz where Pudding and Roxie are lying together in the visitorsâ bench area before coming back to where Bradleyâs pulling on his skates with a practiced ease youâre slightly jealous of. You sit down on the bench next to him, reaching for your skates that Javy already brought over. They still feel clunky as you awkwardly shove your feet into them. Youâre sure theyâll be better once you break them in.
Bradleyâs voice startles you, âMachado, stop gawking and come help your girl.â Your cheeks heat as Javyâs head whips around and then heâs whizzing towards the bench.
âMeep! You made it!â Youâre still shocked by how easily he swings himself over the boards instead of using the tiny door at one end. âHere, let me help!â He drops to his knees in front of you and your cheeks heat in embarrassment.
âI can do it, Javy,â you try to protest but he just gives you a sweet grin.
âI know, but I want to.â Well, who are you to stop him, then? You awkwardly wait as he guides your feet into the skates and laces them up like he did last time. âAlright, Meep,â he claps a hand on your ankle, âyou ready for this?â His tone is jovial but his eyes are cautious, searching yours for doubts. You swallow hard, trying to banish the butterflies from your stomach.
âYou wonât let me fall, right?â You whisper and Javyâs smile softens.
âNever,â you nod, then, holding out your hands to him.
âOkay, Iâm ready.â He stands, then, carefully helping you to your feet before guiding you to hold onto the boards while he swings over and then he holds your hands as you clomp over to the tiny door and nudge it open with your hip. Your legs wobble as you step onto the ice. Whoops and cheers explode from the other side of the rink and you look up to see your friends watching you. Nat skates over, face beaming.
âRoadie, you made it! Look at you!â Her excitement is infectious and you find yourself smiling. She holds out her hand you give her one of yours so now youâre anchored between her and Javy. They lead you as you skate over to the others.
âLooking good, Roadie!â Jake calls out as you reach the group where they're waiting for you.
âYouâre looking much better than I was the first time I tried,â Josie points out, pride shining in her eyes. âI fell on my face in front of all of Reubenâs friends because I got cocky.â She winces at the memory.
âYeah, Roadie, youâre a natural!â Zam pipes up. âYouâre sure you havenât skated before?â You shake your head.
âNot before last time, no.â
As you chat with the others and catch up as you skate along with them, holding Javyâs hand in yours, you feel your self-consciousness slowly start to melt away with all the kind words and camaraderie. Bugs was right, this community is important. You were right too, as hard as the past month has been for you, it was worth it to have a group of friends like this. They were more than just friends, this felt like a family and you were glad to have it.
A/N: Well now I miss the Philly boys đ
#false confidence // goldenseresinretriever#fc // goldenseresinretriever#san diego dogfighters au#san diego dogfighters#san diego dogfighters hockey au#top gun maverick#top gun maverick hockey au#tgm#javy machado x you#javy machado x reader#javy coyote machado x you#javy coyote machado x reader#javy coyote machado#javy machado#no use of y/n
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ÒáŽáŽÊÉȘsÊ - ÊáŽÉŽáŽ
ᎠɎáŽÊÊÉȘs
complete masterlist
ÊáŽÉŽáŽ
ᎠɎáŽÊÊÉȘs x áŽáŽ Something a little bit different from me tonight. A very old one shot reimagined as a Lando fic because I canât help myself.
ᎥÊáŽÉŽ ÉȘ ÉąáŽáŽ áŽÊᎠsáŽÊáŽÉŽÉąáŽÊ áŽáŽ ÊáŽáŽáŽ ᎠÊáŽáŽ áŽÊᎥáŽÊs áŽáŽÊÊ áŽáŽ áŽÊáŽáŽ ÊáŽáŽ ÉŽáŽáŽáŽ
áŽáŽ áŽÉŽáŽ
ÉȘ'ᎠᎥáŽáŽáŽ 'áŽáŽáŽsᎠÉȘ ÊáŽÊÉȘáŽáŽ ᎠÊáŽáŽ
Five years ago when Lando Norris asked me to be his girlfriend, I was the happiest I've ever been we may have been young but we were in love. I never thought one person could make me feel like I was on cloud nine everyday the way he did. I had the life so many dream about; the most loving boyfriend, amazing friends, the nice house, the nice car, the luxury holidays. I had it all. It sounds perfect doesn't it? Don't get me wrong it's an amazing lifestyle until the person you love more than anything in the world cheats on you. Not just once but regularly. That's when none of that stuff matters anymore it becomes a world of anxiety, doubt and worry. Where is he? Who is he with? Will he come home tonight? This is the life I'm living now as Lando Norris's fiancĂ©e.Â
"Where've you been?" I ask Lando casually as he strolls into the bedroom of our Monaco apartment. Deep down I know where he's been and truthfully it makes me feel sick but I don't actually want to hear the words come from his mouth. In my head it will be more devastating to actually hear him say what I know has been going on behind my back for months now rather than acting oblivious.
"Just out with some friends, you should come next time" Lando says as he starts getting ready for bed. I don't understand how he's so blasé and how he can act like he's doing nothing wrong.
"That would be interesting wouldn't it" I mumble to myself as I turn the TV off and pull the duvet over myself, cocooning myself in.
"What was that?" Lando asks as he stands in the doorway of our en-suite.
"I said maybe one day. Night Lando" I say turning my bedside lamp off to put an end to our conversation. Hearing the bathroom door close I finally let the tears roll down my cheeks. This seems to have became a more regular thing lately. Lando comes home late with no explanation and I cry myself to sleep. Thinking about our relationship I question how things have got this bad between us. How have we allowed things to get this bad?
"You cried yourself to sleep again last night didn't you?" My best friend Sarah says the next day as I sit in her kitchen.
"What makes you say that?" I don't even know why I'm trying to deny it. It's obvious when you look at me and sadly she's been through this with me so many times she knows the signs.
"Your eyes are red and puffy. The bags under your eyes are something else and your mood tells me that you're beating yourself up. Why do you let him do this to you Taylor?" Sarah says not even needing to ask what's going on.
"I love him Sarah. I haven't actually asked him about anything yet but it's the same signs as the last four times" saying things out loud makes me realise what I'm actually letting Lando do to me.
"Taylor get some self respect! This might sound harsh but I can't watch Lando hurt you any more. He's cheated on you multiple times! You know about four girls he's admitted to but letâs be honest there's probably a hell of a lot more and every time you keep running back to him. You throw him out for a few weeks maybe two months at the most and he begs enough and promises to never do it again and you take him back because you miss having him around! No one deserves to be treated the way he's treating you" listening to Sarah I know she's right but I can't physically admit that my relationship with Lando has ran its course. It's destroying me mentally.Â
"It's not all bad though and I know he does love me" I'm aware I sound pathetic but I truthfully believe that Lando does still love me. Weâve been together for so long now, heâs the only one I think about when I think about forever.
"This isn't how you treat someone you love. Look I'm not going to say anymore because you know I have a strong opinion on this and we don't agree so rather than this ending in an argument I'm going to stop talking. I've told you what I think but sadly I can't make any decisions for you. If I could he'd have been binned off a long time ago" I know everyone who knows me would be happy if I left Lando for good but I can't, I don't want to be alone. I can't picture a life without him in it. I feel like I've put so much time and effort into our relationship to throw it away.
sᎠÉȘ sáŽáŽáŽ áŽÉŽáŽ
áŽÊÉȘɎᎠáŽÊáŽáŽ áŽáŽÊÊᎠÊáŽáŽ áŽáŽÉŽ ÊáŽáŽÊÉŽ áŽáŽ áŽáŽáŽÊáŽáŽÉȘáŽáŽáŽ áŽáŽ áŽÊáŽÉŽ ÉȘᎠáŽÊÊ ÊáŽáŽáŽÉȘÉŽs áŽÊᎠsáŽáŽáŽ áŽÊáŽáŽ ÊáŽáŽ áŽÉȘÉŽ'ᎠɎáŽáŽ áŽÊ ÉąáŽÉŽÉŽáŽ áŽÊáŽÉŽÉąáŽ
"Will you come in with me? I know exactly what I'll be going in there to and I'm not prepared for that" I say as we pull into the garage at mine and Landoâs apartment and I see the strange car in one of our parking bays.
"Taylor this is so wrong. We've been away for a hen weekend and now you're worried to even go in your own house because you know your dick of a boyfriend has most likely cheated on you, again. However I can see how anxious you are so I will come with you but I'm telling you now I'm not being held responsible for my actions if he has got a girl in there" getting out of the car with Sarah I'm terrified. I know Lando has cheated on me probably too many times to count but I've never actually caught him with another girl let alone with another girl in our home.
"Lando?" I say walking into the kitchen not seeing Lando anywhere. This just confirms to me that he's still in our bed with a slut. Yes I'm going to call her a slut even though I don't know her. Mine and Landoâs relationship has been in the public eye for as long as I remember and there's photos around the house of us together. There's no way she can't know about me. Walking into our bedroom I feel sick. Lando is still sleeping with the fake red headed slut next to him and I feel like I can't breathe.
"You don't deserve this Taylor. What are you going to do?"
"I don't know anymore Sarah. I could always block it out when I didn't see anything but how will I get this image out of my head? She's in my bed" I say. I'm angry and I'm shaking but I don't know how to act.
"Not for much longer she won't be" Sarah says walking over to the bedside table where she grabs the bottle of water that is sat there. Before I know it she's pouring water over Lando and whoever that is in my bed "get up now, both of you" I don't think I've ever heard Sarah so angry in the whole time I've known her.
"What the fuck are you doing? You absolute psycho!" Lando shouts as he jumps out of bed.
"How could you?" I say when Lando looks at me actually realising I'm there and not just Sarah. I'm scarily calm and I'm even scaring myself. I don't even shout, I haven't got it in me to raise my voice.
"Taylor babe this meant nothing" always the same speech. It never meant anything when Lando tries to justify his actions.
"Don't you think you better leave?" I say looking at the girl in my bed "I don't care who the fuck you are but get the fuck out of my bed and get the fuck out of my house. Now!" Seeing the look on Sarahâs face I know she never expected that tone to come from me, hell I didn't even expect it.
I don't take my eyes of the red head as she climbs out of bed gathering her clothes, within minutes I hear her leave the house. That's when I let the tears flow free and Lando gets the brunt of my anger. Next thing I know I'm throwing things at him, I'm hitting his chest and I can't stop the tears.
"Why would you do this to me!"
"I'm sorry! It was a mistake. She didn't mean anything to me. Taylor she's nothing compared to you" Lando says trying to pull me into his arms but I resit and pull back.
"Don't touch me!" I scream at Lando not wanting to be anywhere near him.
"You disgust me Norris! You've got the most amazing girl and you treat her like this! You don't deserve her! She should've left you the first time she found out you cheated" Sarah shouts at Lando and I know sheâs right. I should have left years ago.
"Keep out of this Sarah! This is between me and Taylor! Why are you even here?"
"Because your fiancée was too scared to come into her own home by herself because she knew you'd have a slut here! Look what you're doing to her! You're destroying her piece by piece!" Sarah has so much built up anger towards Lando I can see this exploding as both of them raise their voices at each other.
"Stop it! Stop it now! Both of you!" I scream nearly hysterical looking between my fiancée and best friend "I know you don't like each other but stop! Sarah will you give us a minute please?" I say knowing I need to speak to Lando alone.
"I'll be in the kitchen" Sarah says giving Lando daggers as she leaves the bedroom.
"Tay..." Lando starts but I cut him off.
"Don't bother Lando. I don't want to hear it. From my perspective you have no excuse for any of this. We were supposed to get married! Christ it's not like you don't get sex from me because you do! I could understand a little bit more if that was the case! I want you to leave" I say determined this will be the last time.
"Taylor please don't. I love you"
"This isn't how you treat someone you love Lando. Just go please. Stay with a friend, stay with your family, stay with one of the sluts you've been shagging behind my back I don't care anymore. All I know is that I want you to pack a bag and leave. There never will be a wedding" I say throwing my engagement ring on the bed before walking out of the bedroom not giving Lando the chance to respond. This is the final straw I can't go through this anymore. After five years I need to plan a life without Lando Norris by my side.
#formula one fanfiction#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x oc#formula 1#formula 1 fanfic#lando x oc#lando#lando imagine#formula one fanfic#formula 1 fanfiction#f1 fanfic#f1 x oc#lando norris one shot
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How do u think Sophia would react to T!masc s/o coming out to her? ^^ or do u have more general t!masc s/o x Sophia hcs youâd like to share w us ? :))
i decided to do general hcs along with reader coming out to her đ«¶
warnings/tags: fluff, established relationship, transmasc!reader, reader uses he/him pronouns, mentions of dysphoria (1 hc), mentions of transphobia (1 hc), language
coming out to her
obviously sophia is a very very supportive person and girlfriend in general, so when you sit her down and say you want to talk about something, she's a little confused but she doesn't say anything and just lets you talk. once you finish she's grabbing your hands and smiling at you, telling you that it's okay, that she supports you, and that it doesn't change anything about her loving you. she's super quick to switching to whatever name you want to be called and will explain it to the kats if you don't want to deal with coming out again to them, but she won't if you want to. she just wants you to be comfortable with everyone without any worries, so she'll do whatever you want. she won't pressure you into coming out to your friends or the kats if she was the first person you told, telling you that you can take your own time and that it doesn't change anything. that's the one thing she often reiterates in the first weeks, especially when you start telling your friends. she wants you to know that it genuinely doesn't change anything or the way she loves you.
general hcs
âą she will be lowkey forcing you to go shopping with her to get you new clothes and such, most likely using her brother as reference so that you don't look a total mess without style, probably maxing out a credit card but she doesn't care
âą when you cut your hair she just smiles so wide when she sees it and is immediately taking pictures with you in the mirror when you get home, her hand on your head with a grin on her face and captioning it with "my pretty boy"
âą she's very good at making sure you aren't uncomfortable no matter what. like quietly asking if you're okay when out with others or just giving you a look that asks it without her saying anything. if you are but say no, she can immediately tell, and she'll make up some excuse to leave and go back home
âą if you start binding or use tape, she will be telling you to take it off after 8 hours, she doesn't care how much you say "its fine" or that you won't get hurt, she'll just stare at you deadpan until you do it. if you tell her that you've kept it on longer she will smack you on your head telling you to not do it again
âą sophia goes all out for your birthday, she does every year, so it's not a real surprise when you come home and there's a big setup for you. she gets you so many presents you're not sure how she affords them all, but you aren't complaining. she gets you everything you wanted and more, asking her brothers and friends what else to get you cause she worries
âą she will instantly be changing to more masculine petnames and such once you come out to her, they just kinda spill from her mouth before she can think about it, and the first time it happens she thinks she fucked up by your unreadable expression on your face. but the second you smile she feels a lot better, and will definitely use them a lot more just to see you smiling
âą sophia is one of the best people to be with when you're feeling really dysphoric, and she can tell just by your actions and mannerisms. she's not a pusher, she first asks if you're okay, and if you tell the truth then she's suggesting that she stays with you for the day. no matter how much you try to convince her that it's fine, she will stay anyways. she does whatever you need, making your comfort food and just laying with you in bed telling you how much she loves and cares about you
âą she's your #1 supporter and defender. if she posts you on her socials and you see some not nice comments about you, she can instantly tell you're upset about something and will ask about it. when you tell her what you saw she feels so bad, apologizing to you even though she has no control over it, and that she'll talk to her management about it if they can do anything. she knows people are assholes, and she doesn't want you to see her so-called "fans" trashing on you for being your own person. if this were to happen in person, you might have to hold her back from punching someone in the face, telling her it's fine and that you should just leave
âą visiting her family in the philippines for the first time during her birthday, so nervous but she reassures you that they'll love you and you don't have to worry about anything. when you do meet them, it's like they've known you for as long as sophia has with how much she's told them about you. her father was the first one to greet you, and by the end of the trip he's already calling you his son in law which you tell sophia about in near tears and she just feels so happy that you're comfortable with them, especially if you don't have that support with your own family. her brothers get close with you as well, and her mother pulls her aside to say how good you are for her and that she shouldn't let go of you. sophia just replies with "i know, i won't."
âą when you start hrt/t she is so excited for you. she literally marks it in her calendar to remember the date every year. if you ask her to do your shot for you, she's hesitant at first, but she'll do it. she's great at it which surprises both of you, and honestly she's just amazed at how much trust you have in her for her to do it for you. she'll do it whenever you ask, whether that's only a few times when you're alternating the position and have to do your arm, or every time if you're freaked out with needles. she'll doesn't mind and won't ever get upset with you when you ask, she'll do it in an instant, always giving you a chaste kiss when she's finished saying she loves you
âą she will start stealing your clothes. you don't realize it at first, but when you notice hoodies and sweatpants gone you have a feeling. then you come home one day and she's wearing them and you get a warm feeling in your chest seeing her in your clothes. it doesn't bother you, and it's a little silly how whenever she goes on live and is wearing your clothes fans can immediately tell it's yours by how baggy it is on her and that she wouldn't wear those clothes otherwise
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waitwaitwait relating to the can shigaraki read ask i feel like he would need glasses? but ofc no glasses for the might leader of the LOV (+ dragging this man to the doctor is harder than one may think...) so his vision is just getting worse and so y/n just reads for him. idk i get soft when i think abt reading/cooking/doing chores that kurogiri would do for tomura.
Shigaraki makes you read questionable things
I think because of the lack of sleep Shigaraki gets, his eye sight becomes more and more strained. This is probably exacerbated because of his late night gaming sessions.
It's not a big deal, he reasons. Many people don't get enough sleep, it's not just him.
I actually think Shigaraki could get a doctor to prescribe him glasses or eye contacts with AFO's help (the man's pretty influential let's be real), but I think the reason Shigaraki doesn't is because he won't say anything about it.
He's taken loss, after loss, after loss. Sensei doesn't need to know he's struggling with his eye sight,
Sensei doesn't need to view him as something weak.
It's embarrassing, but Shigaraki is just quiet about it. However, I don't think his eye sight is necessarily bad, I feel like he's still able to read, just not if the text is really small, plus it's better if you do it for him.
"If you tell anyone about this, I swear I'll kill you.." Shigaraki grumbles, scratching at his neck as he glares your way.
You look down at him, pumping up your fist with a small grin "sure thing, boss!"
And that's how you find yourself standing next to his gaming chair, reading the dialogue from a busty girl on Shigaraki's screen. One look at her, and you can tell she's supposed to be some sort of Yakuza love interest. (actually, you know this for a fact, because her nickname is literally Yakuza-chan.)
You clear your throat and read, "Uh... Well, boss, I'm sure you need my protectionâ so don't worry about a thing, boss!"
This love interest sure does use the word 'boss' a lot, huh?
Shigaraki definitely does this on purpose, choosing characters that either look like you or have your mannerisms. Then he gets you to read their sickenly sweet dialogue, and it's almost like he's getting the real thing.
A cheat code that he managed to find all by himself.
"Now you guys just moved to a beach date." You start to describe the images on screen, but you're cut off once Shigaraki pinches your wrist with his pointer finger and thumb. You let out a pained grumbled, but Shigaraki just clicks his tongue at your antics.
"I can see that, idiot, I'm not blind"
"Okay...whatever you say...wait, hold on, choose this option" you lean over his body and press your finger against the screen, "this will definitely score you some love points"
Shigaraki turns your way, faces inches apart, "huh, you're pretty good at this.."
You turn your attention from the screen to him, a smug look overtaking your features.
"What can I say? The ladies love me"
"I take back what I said." Shigaraki grumbles, turning his head to the side and leaning back into his gaming chair, trying to put a distance between you two; blush on his pale face strikingly prominent. He can only hope that you don't notice.
And you don'tâ because after awhile you've also found yourself invested in this game, because if you're really going to stand around and read for him you may as well have fun doing it.
"Ok, now choose this option"
Shigaraki hovers his cursor over the option you suggested, 'compliment her swimsuit', but instead he chooses the other one, 'what do you think about my swimsuit'
What do you think about my swimsuit, Yakuza-chan?
"Eugh Boss.. I told you to pick the other one... No girl wants to compliment a guys lame shorts." You grumble, slightly grabbing on Shigaraki's shoulder and shaking him.
"All of our progress! Wasted!"
Even though you complain, you end up reading Yakuza-chan's (stupid name, by the way) dialogue, anyway.
"Ah, boss, I think it's really cuteâ because you're realize cute, wait I messed that part up, because you're really cute. My little boss, who's a... A what"
You blanch at the next words, 'who's my good little boy', and feel yourself scrunch your nose up. It took such an adrupt turn, you reread it again to yourself.
Well, you weren't aware of the fact that it was this type of game, but that's on you for assuming Shigaraki would waste any storage space downloading a wholesome otome game.
".. What, read it." Shigaraki grumbles.
You awkwardly clear your throat, averting your gaze from the screen and instead looking at the floor.
"Well, you said you aren't blind...can't you see this part.. It's not important to the story or anything"
"It's blurry"
You have a feeling he isn't being too honest, and you think to yourself, perhaps you indulge Shigaraki too much.
i know you meant reading as in like, cute wholesome reading and theyre both sitting together and Shigaraki eventually dozens off or something, but i just can't resist otome nerd tomura
#mha shigaraki#boku no hero academia#bnha#mha#my hero academia#bnha x reader#todoroki x reader#shoto x reader#bakugou x reader#denki kaminari#mha fanart#Shigaraki x reader#tomura x reader#dabi#touya todoroki#shigaraki tomura x reader#tenko x reader#tenko shimura x reader#tenko shimura
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Jeez girl I regret looking up the arsenal fc tag cause I ended up on your bullshit again.
> "haaland told y'all to act humble and clearly y'all haven't won shit so you are worse than us, act humble"
First of all, you make the critical error of forgetting WHO haaland said that to. Mikel Arteta. Let's leave the opposition manager dynamic out for now and remember that Mikel, for 2 years, was basically pep's apprentice at City. Haaland somehow having the gall to insult a man who worked with him, with his team and with his manager for 2 years on live TV is a pretty heinous act in and of itself. Let's also look at the context of the match, where, after a dubious red card (if you want to argue it's not dubious kindly don't, szboszlai committed the same "offense" a week later with no foul, and after wolves v arsenal I don't think you wanna argue that PGMOL is an impartial body if you want to come off as having any common sense), arsenal had to revert back to Mourinho tactics and somehow a team that had previously never done anything of the sort, managed to hold up a low block that took city 5 full minutes of extra time to break through. The same city (only major injury at the time was rodri) who got all your shiny trophies.
Secondly, yes, this team has not won anything. Why is that? Inexperience. On both the players and the manager, and this is something everyone in the arsenal sphere knows. And yet, we've come close. Closer than any other team to Manchester City, despite not having the finances, officiating bias (as shown in above para, michael oliver, but he is merely one of many many examples), or experience. I know to gloryhunters like most city fans the point of coming second is lost, but ask anyone who actually cares about football: SAF and Wenger was the greatest rivalry in the prems, despite the former completely outshining the latter. And yet, not for a single season, untill the last match did man u or arsenal fans mock each other (aside from the typical banter one expects from what had basically developed into a derby).
> "still not winning the league"
Man City away, liverpool at home, both Brighton games, wolves away. Do I need to give more examples of arsenal getting bent over by the PGMOL untill that fact goes through your thick head? On top of that, injuries. The only other clubs with injuries as bad as ours are spurs and city, and everyone can see they're both shells of their usual selves. Add to the mix the fact that edu gaspar left in the middle of the season and the board refused to replace him even with the oncoming January window.
As for your wonderful advice, don't you worry ma'am we've done that already. For 10 years. For a whole decade we have endured abuse and laughter, to our club, players and 2 extremely talented ex-managers (not to mention the arteta out crowd who must suffer from severe delusions). And yet, here we are. We keep our heads up, despite losses, despite injuries, despite being the refs' guinea pigs for what can fly under mainstream media. However, perhaps it is time for city fans to apply this advice too? Yesterday your manager set up some of the worst tactical decisions of his career, such as benching khusanov and playing marmoush out of his preferred position, and after an 18 year old LB scored against his side, visibly tried his best not to break down in tears. Haaland, despite scoring a goal, seemingly forgot how to make runs (and it's not me saying this: it's thierry henry, and before you argue he's stupid cause he's an ex-arsenal player, do remember he also played under pep's barcelona). Eras end, and pep has without a doubt begun to lose his grip in the game. But I'm no City fan, and I respect the man, so I hope you lot won't turn on him when he stops putting in the numbers.
This is already a very long post, and I'm sure you will use it to fuel your "arsenal fans are sensitive" headcanon, but for those impartial readers who stumble upon this, let me clarify, arsenal are not against banter. Viera and Keane physically held themselves back from killing each other. SAF and Mourinho literally had fistfights with Wenger, but it comes down to respect. No matter how much SAF cussed out Wenger, he hugged him at his farewell. Mourinho still refuses to agree with the man and yet never raises his voice against him. Had haaland not thrown a ball at Gabriel, not tried to throw his weight around on an 18 year old, not pretended like arteta's some lowlife, we would not have had this reaction.
im going to explain this like someone would explain it to a little kid bc some arsenal fans are very dumb wont say another word for it bc they are also very uh sensitive...?
haaland told your players to stay humble because they act and celebrate as if they have won a treble or a ucl or a prem (yk all the trophies city has won) so he said it for you guys to chill out and know your place. Now, the team and the whole fanbase got super offended even though everyone knew what haaland meant and he is right. However, the fanbase and your team have proven his point countless times throughout the season....and you just don't get it. This match probably means to you exactly what it meant to city to complete the treble or 4 in a row. We are not on the same level. That is just a literal fact.
now are city having a bad season...100% that is also a fact. However, even though we are having a bad season does this mean haalands point is not true? no. it is true. the past 2-3 years your whole arguement has been "well how can we compete with them" we've been shit. and your still not winning the league HAHAHA. so my advice to you arsenal people is to look on the inside and just maybe come to the conclusion you guys think youre the shit when you are simply not...?
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bringing lucanis to emmrich's loyalty quest when you're an ingellvar romancing him has such energy of like... 'okay this is starting to feel really serious so I guess it's time to mutually show off some of the familial skeletons in the closet (as it were. ahaha haha....). we've already seen what one of your family parties look like when they go a bit awry, so it's only fair you get to see what happens when my folks go off the rails. there's -- admittedly a bit more unhinged mage hubris and plans for world domination and threatening the fabric of existence than would perhaps be ideal, no two ways about it, can't get away from that. but on the other hand I have to deal with illario. so *anxiousđ„ș rook face* wouldn't you agree we're kind of even in the grand scheme of things'
lucanis voice: well yeah okay when you put it like that fair point actually. (from his comments through this quest I think his main complaint would probably be that it feels a lot like just another work trip fhadskj)
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#johanna's sins according to rye in ascending order of seriousness: planning to destroy nevarra city (uncool!). stealing a floor#of the grand necropolis (uncool AND rude). being mean to emmrich (uncalled for as well as cruel). being mean to manfred (unforgivable)#going against all her oaths and duties as a watcher (personally offensive to me on an emotional and spiritual level). but worst of all#making all necromancers look bad and cringe in front of bae (prepare to die and undie cyclically 4 ever hezenkoss)#he's already a weird little crypt baby he does not need you guys to come in and be embarrassing to throw off his already slightly weird gam#you know. I don't think he needs to worry you can say a lot about lucanis. but fundamentally he's not a quitter#it'll take a lot more than a few skulls and a mad professor sort-of relative to throw him off
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still working on this âfuck a âforgive your abuserâ arcâ 3x11/3x12 fix it fic and itâs like 13.5k gd help me
#gav gab#ted lasso spoilers#writing liveblog#I SIMPLY HAVE A LOT TO SAY#i worry it's turning out like....... preachy or Not Characterful or whatever#bc i truly don't want it to just be a psa about why this shit sucks#and i truly don't believe a lot of how that was handled was In Character - AT LEAST NOT THE WAY THEY DID IT#(i can believe ted could make a mistake like that is what i mean but the narrative Did Not frame it as a mistake)#(as something he said because he was clouded by his own baggage - WHICH IS FINE but that is Not how they portrayed it)#(and i believe the other people in jamie's life if they knew that had happened would uh)#(have SOME THINGS to say about it)#(and in general no we will not be endorsing 'being abused made you who you are (positive)' no sir not on my watch)#anyways#i truly am operating by what i think is In Character and an Engaging story to tell#(i.e. it's jamie trying to force himself down the 'forgive your dad or at least Try To you know For You!' path and uh#having a bit of a breakdown because of it)#but i worry it's gonna Come Off Badly yknow#anyways kicks this tag ramble under the couch#i'm writing it anyway because frankly i need it after all of that abuse apologist mess#and i'm continually bothered by a lot of people also saying that the forgiveness thing was Fine and Good but actually contacting james#was where they drew the line#bc im like no that was. also a really fucking shitty thing to have happen#if it had JUST been the 'forgive. For You.' thing? it would still suck#bc that was a very fast interaction with ZERO nuance or awareness of how fucking loaded and brutalizing forgiveness as a concept is#to a LOT of abuse victims/survivors bc of the way it's been weaponized against us#if you mean 'let go and put it down/stop carrying it/be free of it/etc' then say that. forgiveness is just too far gone for me at this point#abuse ment
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On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.
I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.
It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.
I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.
My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.
Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.
It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.
I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.
"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".
Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.
"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.
Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.
It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.
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#Delete later#There's so much shit happening in my life right now and this has been haunting the back of my mind for ages and I just ugh#What do you do when your boyfriend is going through some fucked up shit and won't respond to your texts asking if he's ok if he wants to#Hang out later or even just talk about things#Like I asked if he wanted to go to a mall later and it turns out he's going to mfing Arizona and. Didn't tell me at all?#He's going through a lot of stuff right now but I kinda want just like. Basic details of what he's doing?#So I can talk to him without sounding like a idiot? And not have to worry about him when he ghosts me for a couple weeks?#And the whole reason I'm questioning things isn't because he's being frustrating I've been thinking about this for a looong time#At first I thought I might have just been demi aro? Because like we were best friends before we were in a relationship#And I really do care about him I just don't know to what extent (what defines romantic attraction anyways? Never been clear on that)#And I'd break up with him and say I just need a couple weeks to sort things out and I think he'd understand#But also he really doesn't need that stress right now things have been getting really bad on his end#Our relationship isn't actively hurting me but if this trend continues it might eventually#I just really want to talk to him. About things. I hope I'm not doing a bad job handling this#Ufhfhdjajajajahrgehehh#Worth mentioning that Phoebe from Ghostbusters is making me question things as well.#Things are confusing all of the time :(
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can't get started âĄ
older bf!logan howlett x fem!reader
logan can't get it up one night and is humiliated. but that just means he'll have to prove he can still satisfy you.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, daddy kink, age gap (reader in 20s)
a/n: the part in dpw where he said he's got whiskey dick with the claws turned me on too much tbh
This had never happened to Logan before.
That wasn't a lie he was telling you to make himself look less pathetic. It wasn't an affirmation he repeated in his own head to feel like he was still hot shit. It was the truth. One he would swear to on anything.
He'd never had a problem getting it up before.
Not with you, not with anyone. He thought the healing factor made him immune to whiskey dick or any kind of down-there dysfunction. But apparently not. Because the two of you finally had some time alone after being amidst the chaos of the mansion all day and his body was stalling.
The second he had the bedroom door shut, you were dragging him over to the bed and climbing into his lap. You were doing everything like usual. Your lips pressed against his, and then moved to his jawline and down his neck. Your hands glided across the firm muscles of his chest. Your hips rolled down against his lap, beckoning the appendage between his legs to reciprocate your desire.
But it just wouldn't. He tried to make it because it wasn't a matter of not wanting you. He wanted you bad.Â
He grabs your chin and brings your lips back up to his mouth so he can communicate his passion wordlessly. He digs his fingers into your hips, feeling the beginnings of where your flesh swells into your ass. He envisions how you'd been prancing around the whole day, cute tits pushing against the fabric of your t-shirt and calling out for him to grab.
You're so soft and warm. The little mewls that leave your lips sound like calls of angels up above. It doesn't matter though. His cock had clocked out for the night.
"God damnit," he grumbles before brushing you off his lap and bringing his fist down against the mattress. He sighs and his head hangs.
He can already sense the look on your face. Worry, hesitation, and affection swirling into one humiliating look. He feels your hand find his shoulder, the touch tender and accepting.
"It's ok, Logan. We don't have to," you say. Your tone is so soft and gentle, and it just drives him fucking nuts.
"But you want to," he says and looks over at you. The look in your eyes kills him. He knows you don't mean it, but it looks so patronizing. As if he's an old dog about to be taken out back and old yeller'd.
"Yeah but I don't want you to force yourself. We can just cuddle," you offer, sweet as can be.
"It's not forcing, I want to do this. I want you so bad," he says and cups your cheek. He pulls you back onto his lap and nuzzles your neck. "Been thinking about this all day."
You let out a little sigh as he lays some kisses on the column of your throat, and that gives him a spark of hope. Maybe he can do this. Maybe he doesn't have to be put out to pasture just yet. The two of you make out and grind and feel each other up some more. But eventually your tits are all but in his face and his dick still doesn't have a pulse.
He huffs and pulls back. 'Fuck, I'm sorry, sweetheart," he says.
You watch him, the gleam in your eyes as adoring as ever. It was the same look you gave him when you'd have to explain a basic function of a cell phone to him.
"It's ok. You don't have to be embarrassed," you reassure and lean in to peck his cheek.
He groans and gently brushes you off. "Don't. I don't need you coddling me."
"I'm just saying. I understand," you say with conviction, hands splaying on your chest to physically convey your empathy, "It happens to lots of guys when they get older. You don't have to be ashamed of it with me."
And in that moment, he wishes he didn't have his mutation so he could just die on the spot from being utterly mortified. He'd actually have preferred if you laughed in his face and called him an old man. A sad, old, perverted fuck who decided to date some half his age even though he couldn't keep up with her appetite. If you'd told him you were gonna find someone who could satisfy you, it probably would've stung less than being talked to like a patient who doesn't know their cancer is terminal.
There was no chance in hell, you'd ever do any of that though. As much as he hated that fact right now, it was part of why he loved you.
All he does is mumble a thank you and kiss the corner of your mouth. He doesn't just cuddle you after though. He gets you off on his thigh. You were still going to cum even if he couldn't. When you're done, he holds you close and rubs your back till you're sleeping curled up to his side.
His night isn't very restful though. It's haunted with the prospect of future incidents like this, of your perception of him changing. The look in your eyes changing from admiration to pity.
He can't live with that. The next day for the two of you is super busy, but he makes sure there's a spot at the end of it for him to secure his redemption.
This time around it's him carting you away from the others once the sun is down, mouth on the curve of your neck before you even reach the bedroom. His hands grope your waist and paw at your tits. You stumble into the door, bumping it loud enough that you'd be worried about someone hearing you if they weren't all downstairs.
"Logan..." you giggle. You push your ass back against him and glance at him out of your peripheral.
"Not what you're gonna be calling me before the night is done, sweet thing," he grunts and boosts you up.
Your legs press into his sides to support yourself as he opens the door. He takes the two of you inside and kicks it shut behind him before heading to the bed and tossing you on the mattress.
You look up at him with a coy smile, arms propping you up and one of your legs extended to entice him.
"You know... you don't have to prove anything to me, right?" you say.
"Oh, I don't?" he asks and grabs your ankle, pulling you to the edge of the bed so your hips meet, "You're too easy to please, babydoll."
Another laugh bubbles through your lips. Your legs drop to lock around his waist. "I'm just saying. It's like totally normal, and I don't want you to get all grumpy about it."
"Oh, I get grumpy, do I?" he asks as he leans over you. His large body envelopes yours on the mattress. He ducks down further to swallow your words up with kisses.
You hum into the exchange but pull back a little to finish your thought.
"Mhm, you do. And I just don't want you to feel that way cause I knew when we got together what I was getting into," you say.
Your confidence is so cute. You talk with absolute certainty, like you understand all there is to be understood about him. Like you'd known him forever and he hadn't been doing things like this for decades longer than you walked this earth.
His mouth crashes against yours again, his body weighing down on you and crushing you into the mattress.Â
"You did, hm? You knew what you were getting into? You got with me thinking I wouldn't be able to give it to you how you need all the time?" he mutters against your skin.
"I didn't mean it like-"
"Didn't mean it like that? How'd you mean it then, sweetheart?"
"I dunno..."
"Doesn't sound like you knew what you were getting into to me," he breathes.
That little sentence that you'd said in an attempt to comfort him unlocked something between the two of you. He felt his cock waking up and pressing against his zipper, eager to get out and slide home. It's hard to register your clothes being pulled off when he's got his tongue in your mouth and his fingers playing with your clit. In no time at all, he's got the both of you bare and his cock nestled between your thighs.
Like he already knew, the issue last night had never been about lack of desire. And he intended to prove that to you, fuck you so good it wiped your memory of any placating word that fell from your lips.
He ruts into you hard. The mattress rocks on the bed frame and threatens to slide off. His dick is big and even though it's not a new sensation for you, each time you take it is a stretch. It's even more so when he pushes you up by the back of your knees. You whine as you're folded in half. His thrusts hit your sweet spot every time at this angle.
"Thought you knew what you were getting into?" he teases as he pistons himself in and out.
You mewl and bob your head, though you aren't sure if you're shaking your head or nodding.
"Fuckkkk, Logan. 'm sorry," you pant. Your walls squeeze tight around his shaft as your eyes close up. He made every part of your body contract and feel like it was moments from exploding.
He simply laughs at your apology. "Don't gotta be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just showing you what happens when I get older."
His balls hang heavy and swing with each motion, clapping against your ass. The heat between your legs is enough to make you squirm. Constant whimpers pour from your lips as he fucks into you without mercy.
"I know," you moan, "You fuck me better than anyone else."
"That's right," he grunts, "Nobody else could fuck you like this. Just me."
"Mhm, just daddy," you slur and cling onto him tighter. Your arms hook around his neck and keep his sweaty skin flush against yours.
"Just daddy," he repeats, his tone smooth like silk despite his raspy voice, "You don't need anyone else. Not when I can take care of you like this."
His tip prods at your cervix, making you yelp and buck. He doesn't stop though, just keeps battering into you, hammering into your warm, wet hole.
"You don't need any little boys thinking they know how to handle you," he breathes and nuzzles your neck, "Your old man can handle you just fine, make you cum whenever you need."
A strangled cry leaves your lips. Your nails dig into his back so hard that it seems like you wanted to draw blood. His words just make you melt for him. Reduce you down to a compliant jumble of flesh for him to mold and play with how he wants.
"Needa cum right now, daddy," you whine.
"I know you do, spoiled girl. You act so understanding, but I know that little pussy is aching to cum around my cock. To get filled up with my cum," he murmurs.
You nod wildly.
He chuckles at your eagerness and snaps against you even harder.
"Hold on tight, baby," he whispers.
His hips ricochet off your ass, clapping against you with intensity that borders on violent. You squeal and hang on as directed. Your whole body rocks with his momentum. Your head bobbles around like it's empty, which it is. Empty of everything but him.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck," you whimper.
"Let it out for me. Let me feel you burst, pretty girl," he grunts as he continues plowing into you.
Your body rolls. Your hips vibrate with the ecstasy release brings you. It crashes over you in one intense wave, like a gallon of liquid euphoria being poured over you. Your eyes flutter, and you bury your face in his neck like he has his in yours.
He fucks you through it. Coos in your ear too. "That's my baby. My sweet girl. Always sound so pretty when you're cumming."
One of your hands flies up to clutch at his thick, dark hair. Keeping him close keeps the words flowing.
"Getting so tight for me, fuck. No one can make me cum like you, honey. Drains me dry every fucking time."
Moments later he spurts into you, unloading thick ropes of his spend inside you. You let out another moan from that sensation alone. He growls and pants against your skin, his hands locking you in place as his hips pummel into your cunt and make sure every last drop has been released.
He lingers on you for a few moments before pulling out. His body feels loose in the afterglow. He stands at the edge of the bed and looks down at himself and then you. He knows he's gonna have to clean you up. Your inner thighs are shimmery with a mix of fluids, and the bush of dark hair at the base of his cock is in the same condition.
"Time to shower, baby?" he asks and pats your leg. You don't respond at first and he smirks. "Or did I tire you out too much?"
You whine something incoherent and shift to turn your face against the blankets. His smug look grows. He crawls over you again and nips at your jaw, rubbing his nose against your cheekbone.
"You know, it's ok, sweetheart. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's totally normal for pretty little things like you. I knew that going in."
His tone mimics your soft and understanding one from earlier. You make a little growl and swat at his bicep.
âShut up, old man.â
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett smut#wolverine x reader#wolverine imagine#wolverine x you#wolverine smut#marvel x reader#marvel smut#ch: logan howlett đ
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NSFW Alphabet: Wolverine
a/n: I was excited to write a nsfw version of this because his character was surprisingly fun and easy to write for this. I like Logan because you can really be flexible with how he is in bed. It all depends on preference and writer ofc, but still it was fun to write. Wrote mostly gender neutral, on parts where body is described, I wrote for afab and amab. Not edited please ignore mistakes ty <3
18+ under the cut. MDNI.
A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex):
Aftercare king.
He knows just what to do, especially since sex with him is normally pretty rough and crazy. He leaves you a mess under him and you're barely able to walk. "Atta girl/boy, princess/prince, up you come." he grabs hold of you and lifts you up, carrying you to the bathroom to get you all clean.
He's a messy partner so you need a shower to get all the sex off you. He leaves you alone to do anything you need privately, but otherwise he's helping you maintain your balance in the shower and drying off.
You're in such a dazed state, you feel dizzy and lightheaded, still a little loopy. He will get you back to bed and lay you down, feeling pride and satisfaction within himself at how he could bring you to such a state. Only he could do that to you.
He will hold you close to him, you feel cold now, his body will warm you up. He likes skin to skin, so unless you want a shirt, he won't dress you so he can feel your softer skin against his own.
The praise he gives you makes you feel so special and worth so much, it helps when you come down from your high, knowing he was satisfied and loved every moment of the act.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs):
I don't think he really has a favorite part of his partner, but I will die on the hill that he likes his partners a little chunky. He loves to grab onto you, he likes how he can manhandle you without worry of hurting you.
Those plush hips and belly drive him insane. If you are afab, your ass draws his hand in every single time and he loves to smack and grab it. If you are amab, he will grab onto your thighs or soft, relaxed chest muscles and squeeze them. Both afab and amab, his hands come around from behind and gently knead your belly.
Logan is a dude so on himself...he holds his manhood very high, and for good reason.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):
Filthy.
He gets that shit all over the place and he loves it.
He loves marking you inside and out. He loves shooting his spunk on your body just as much but something about releasing inside you makes him somehow cum harder and with more.
He's not that bad taste wise, I mean cum doesn't taste great, but he's not bad. Not too bitter, not too salty, but his cum is thick. And when he does climax, he cums a LOT.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):
Logan, being a primal mutant, loves scents. It's one of the things that he relies on a lot, and your scent is intoxicating. He steals some of your clothes and smells them, or sometimes he will dive into your crotch and inhale you.
Not exactly dirty, but Logan secretly likes when you scratch his head or mess with his hair after sex. He likes to keep himself up as a tough guy most of the time but when you wind down, even if he's the one holding you, he sometimes scoots down enough to let you play with his hair.
He will move his head where he wants your hand to scratch and leans into it when you reach that sweet spot.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?):
He's over 200 years old, he's got experience.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):
Literally anything where he can watch you mewl and moan for him.
He also likes from behind or positions where he can watch his cock sink into you with each thrust.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.):
Logan isn't goofy but he also isn't serious. He's open to messing around and with tossing, turning, all sorts of play, it's not going to be serious 100% of the time.
He will chuckle and tease, sometimes funny noises are made, that's just how it is, and you both will laugh a little...but then you get back to it because who can resist?
Sometimes he will play fight you, wrestle you down to the bed and hold you there, with ease, and he smirks down at you trying to overpower him. It's a fun way to rile him up for sex and he enjoys it quite a bit.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):
Logan is hairy, but not insanely so. I think below he is pretty crazy but he trims it down enough once you two get more intimate. Though he thought it was funny watching you spit out his pubes.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):
He can be romantic but he is more passionate than anything. He likes to make sure you feel good, and he loves doing it. Once he gets you feeling good, he gets a little more rough and tells you what he likes without shame.
He's very forward, and his communication in the bedroom is immaculate. You wished he were like that outside of the bedroom sometimes, because there's no hesitation, no secrets, he's fully confident and tells you exactly what he wants.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):
Sometimes he masturbates, sometimes he doesn't. It all depends on how horny he is in the moment.
He'll fist his cock to the thought of you, or since he likes your scent a lot, he will practically inhale your underwear and jerk himself until he cums all over his hand.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):
Logan...he's kinky as hell.
Dom/sub dynamics drive him up the wall. He loves being in control, manhandling you, having you listen to what he says without fail.
Slight primal play would be up his alley. The playful wrestling and fighting gets him going and he likes to bite and mark you up during sex. Almost looking like an animal attacked you, but no, it was just Logan marking you as his.
Dirty talk king. He is so brazen with his language, whispering it into your ear as he pounds your poor, swollen hole full of another load.
Praise, praise, praise! He loves to praise you and how good you take his thick cock inside you.
Overstimulation/denial, he loves the control. He often makes you cum multiple times before even penetrating you just to hear you cry and whimper for him.
Maybe a slight breeding kink, since he loves the idea of filling you up to the brim with his thick cum, (this goes regardless of afab or amab), he's going to fill you up regardless if it's biologically possible to impregnate you or not. It's just for fantasy anyway.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do):
He will do it anywhere he feels like. He doesn't care who sees. You're his and he likes everyone around you to know it.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):
I love that most everyone agrees that wearing his clothes makes him fucking feral. He would lose it seeing you in a shirt of his...or maybe even naked and only wearing a flannel. Slowly unclasping each button to make him growl and almost rip the damn thing off you.
N = No (something they wouldnât do, turn offs):
He'd never want to hurt you. There are things he likes that might harm you but he doesn't actually want to cause you harm.
He can be rough and he doesn't want to actually hurt you. A spank or choking just enough to get you dizzy is about as far as he would go. Logan would never intentionally try to harm you, especially during something as intimate as sex.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):
He has a hard time picking what he likes better. He loves diving between your legs and lapping you. But he also loves to see you choke around his thick cock.
Logan loves the dirtiness of it, his dick in your throat and watching you try your best to please him. He loves seeing you choke and gag on him, your face gets so sloppy with spit and cum, it makes him more crazy in bed when he's fucking you.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):
With Logan it can be 50/50. He can be rough and hard, or slower and passionate. Most of the time he is ensuring you cum multiple times, and then he fucks you into the bed while you cry around his cock. Then, he gives you another orgasm, he cums, and the cycle repeats until you literally can't take it anymore.
Then he cleans you up and makes sure you know how good you were for him. You'll have trouble walking for a few days.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):
He's down for a quickie, he can make you cum fast when he wants to. However he does prefer to make you whine and beg instead of giving you a solid, quick orgasm unless you really need it.
Sometimes he needs a quick one too, so a fast blowjob helps. But again, he likes to take his time rather than rush it.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.):
He takes plenty of risks. He loves to test the waters with you and experiment with all sorts of things. He's down to try almost anything.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?):
His mutation allows him to have enhanced stamina so be prepared for that.
He can go for literal hours and not be tired at all. His mutation also allows his refectory period to be very short. So...you will be filled to the brim.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):
I don't think he would have any for himself, but he would start to grow a collection if you had any or showed interest in some. He'd keep them under his bed in his room whenever you wanted to spice things up.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):
Logan is the king of teasing you. He loves to tease until you can't take it and tears are rolling down your cheeks.
He always gives you what you want in the end, but not without that asshole making you beg.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):
He doesn't give two shits who hears him, or you, he is loud. He grunts, groans, snarls. Not to mention the insane level of dirty talk he does, and he loves to make you scream out his name.
By the time you're done, you swear half the mansion heard you.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):
He dirty talks like crazy.
Sometimes he will fuck you when you're wearing his clothes, or when he comes back from a mission, he doesn't bother cleaning up before he storms up to your shared room and he fucks you.
Angry sexxx
He lets out his frustrations from missions as he pounds into you.
"Goddamn slim, stupid fuckin' self-designated leader thinks he can boss me around like I'm nothin' but a loyal scout to 'em." he grunts and snarls with each plap of his hips into you, his cock driving against you. You have no idea what happened on the mission but can you complain? No.
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes):
Logan's dick is huge let's get that out of the way.
He's thick, it feels like he rips you open each time he penetrates you and it feels fucking incredible. That also means lots of foreplay~
He's veiny, his cock throbs as he stands erect, and his balls are heavy.
He's a good 8 to 8.5 inches fully erect, the damn thing leaks precum constantly when he's horny.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):
Insanely high. He will fuck you every single day if he could.
He is down to fuck all the time, anytime. You just have to say the word and he's on top of you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):
Logan makes sure you're comfortable before he even attempts to sleep. He stays awake, letting you curl into him and he watches you, making sure nothing he did was too much or causing pain.
Once you seem okay and have fallen asleep, he will allow himself to relax and fall asleep beside you.
Thanks for reading.
*SNIKT*
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