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princeleyjeans · 5 years ago

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My first OC: An intro to Amelia.

As some of ya’ll know, Wallace and Gromit was what got me writing, literally, soon as i saw the movie all my chubby 10 year old butt wanted to do was make my own episode for the show and while I knew I was too little to work for Aardman Animations, that didn’t stop me writing fanfiction and beginning a fun and disturbing trot into the fandom world. Amy, was my first character, the one who started it all and yes, her story, is not one of cute mishaps and crime solving like that of her husbands (Well, husband’s dog but you know), it’s not twisted but it’s not light either, she is and always has been hella un-canon to the series, to the world they reside in and sure, as a kid I was told Mr Park wouldn’t touch such a mature plot-line with a barge pole, but it didn’t stop me and here we are today. Amelia Quartermaine: Age: 28 Gender: Female. Height: 5/11. Description: Pale skin, ginger/reddish hair with your stereotype freckles across the nose area of the face with piercing hazel eyes, larger than most cartoon creators like but not technically unhealthy, a physical blend of muscle and squish, huntress thicc, slight hourglass figure but the weight is a little wider than commonly described. --- Amelia begins as a brief glace during a routine visit to her almost stepmother/aunt figure, Totty, as I mentioned earlier, she’s appeared on the specific day to collect the last of Hutch’s things since he’s now living with her family, it’s not an idea situation and Lady T is less than okay with losing her one real link to Wallace, a missed love interest who declined her marriage/business proposal, but knowing of Amelia fondness for him and dedication to animals (Philip the dog, the family’s various large frightening birds and imported Vampire deer happily scattered around Victor’s less impressive manor house) she accepts the idea he’ll be happier there and leaves the matter at that. Speaking of love, it’s obviously Cupid firing arrows at a solid wall, nothing gets through for a while until Wallace suffers a minor injury during a tour of the Quartermaine estate, caused by Lady Tottington asking for his company on a visit to her ex boyfriends estate to attend a live auction of Victor’s hunting gear, various expensive/rare guns and weaponry finally being taken away from his weak grasp following the whole being beaten to a pulp by the angry mob and left needing rehab/reconstructive surgery on his legs/right shoulder. Don’t get confused, this isn’t a choice he’s made, no no, it’s his children, Amelia and her brothers, seeing his altered state and lack of ability to properly hold a rifle and deciding the best option is to save Victor from himself and remove temptation from his home, keeping the good shit for themselves but making sure he can’t get his mitts on any random weapons to use against animals, people, Wallace, you get the idea. He’s a cranky old man at this point and will happily deck the one who put him in crutches/permanent knee brace so what’s safer than remove 99% of all his shooty shoot toys. After said auction, Amelia walks her aunt and Wallace through the hand planted woodland, ranging 500 years old and full of some of the freakiest birds you ever saw, along with the little vampire deers that aren’t actually scary and really like people and small corn snacks, no sooner have they cleared a path and entered the most beautiful memorial pond area for the girls mother, Wallace trips over something and ends face down in the dirt with a vamp deer climbing on his back to reach a random grub on a nearby tree, the whole fiasco causes Tottys almost step-daughter to burst out laughing and thus begins the inevitable woo of the Quartermaine girl as any man capable of making even the coldest of people laugh must be one worth knowing. Of course, with all his love interests, this one holds an unspoken truth Gromit wishes to solve fast, especially given her status, and even with Hutch acting as a comforting example Amelia can be kind, he needs to uncover the other side, when things get tough, how many skeletons fall from the closet? ---- Now: A little background. Amelia is one of three children, being the youngest while her brothers, twins Marcus (Short for Machello) and Dametre are joint first, all birthed via Victors first wife and only love, Giovanna, who was lost to a long running genetic condition with no known cure or explanation. Amelia grew up under the wing of her father, favoring hunting/taxidermy/general gruesome hobbies as the twins preferred a variety of tailoring, cooking, knitting, gardening and lighter crafts, similar to Gromit. They were equally close to each parent although you get the idea that Victor held a certain admiration for his daughter given their shared blood lust, the familiar craving of the hunt and urge to display their kills for the world to see, plus being of similar mind yet him being the obviously weaker of the pair, Amelia dutifully going through with the plan while he either got angry with all the complicated steps or just failed to follow up. Victor, as a younger man, was very much one of those snobby “I’ll kill it, eat it and show you it’s skin because I’m hella macho”, while his daughter, was...well, a killer, a darker presence his weakness clung to, like a mother unable to let go of her son due to fear his partner will replace her in his heart, lack of power, lack of ones own worth so he taught her to be the best, the hunter capable of a big kill, no fear, all confidence and knowledge of entitlement and worth. No surprise, though never actually murdering a person, Amelia was a skilled fighter, handy with a sword, steady with a pistol and indestructible, mentally and physically....at least, until the death of her mother. Although staying strong, it left a rift, a rift concealed by a large vault door and locked tight so nobody could see just how sad it was to lose the only rational/in tact person in her life. Yes, she loved her father but Victor was a proud man, a proud father, giddy over having a child so devoted to the hunt just as he was, as his own father and grandfather, having someone to carry on not just the bloodline but that legacy, that path, despite loving his daughter, his sons, Victor was not someone you could actually...talk to. Giovanna was, she was that small hint of sanity in a strange, abnormal world, riddled in blood and destruction, she was that light at the end, the warm water washing away the deeds of the day, the listening ear and giver of advice, the forgiving hug, the confessional Amelia could tell her sins to with all the promise of them never seeing the outside. Regardless of being a hunter, Amelia also cared about animals, and her relationship with the forest was a complicated sort, it was hypocritical and ironic but she refused to engage that part of herself, she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, no matter of the internal struggles between just and evil. After the mothers death, the brothers took over, Amelia hunted but the twins were her protectors, the homemakers and general kindness of the estate as Victor got more into his cruel habits and needing of money, he did it all for them, but at the same time, he also did it to ease the heartache, the loss, the pain of having his wife around, without her being with him. He believed that the ones you loved never left, but at the same time, never seeing their faces was enough to put all those feelings to the test, all that faith, all that sense out the window. --- Back to the present: With her father’s condition now requiring support/aid, Amelia has taken position as one of the estates breadwinners, next to her brother Dam while Marcus stays home and looks after Victor, the arrangement is stable but with the intro of Hutch and her sudden taking to Wallace, things are looking...rocky, soon to become worse as Gromit gets involved to uncover just how much of her childhood has stuck. (Spoiler: SHE DECKS A BEAR AND PUTS THE VICAR THROUGH A PEW!) Welp Imma end this here, prob gonna do another story post at some point but for now I need a pee and my ass hurts from sitting so long

#Wallace and Gromit #OC #mine #kinda #meh #ew

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writingguide003-blog · 6 years ago

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'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/a-total-blast-our-writers-pick-their-favorite-summer-blockbusters-ever/

'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

As the season heats up on the big screen, Guardian writers look back on their picks from the past with killer sharks, mournful crime-fighters and time-traveling teens

Face/Off (1997)

Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/PARAMOUNT

Madman bomber Nicolas Cage stole John Travoltas dead sons life. So gloomy FBI agent Travolta steals Cages face. When Cage steals his face and his wife and freedom John Woos Face/Off becomes the biggest, wackiest and most operatic summer blockbuster in history, a gonzo combustion that flings everything from pigeons to peaches at the screen.

Hong Kong cineastes might applaud a script with roots in the ancient Sichuan opera genre Bian Lian, where performers swap masks like magic. Popcorn-munchers, of which I am front row center, are here to watch whack job Cage and soulful Travolta, two actors who love to go full-ham, play each other and go deep inside their iconographies. Call it hamception. Or just call it a crazy swing that hits a home run as Cavolta and Trage battling it out in a warehouse, a speedboat and, of course, a church. As Cage-as-Travolta gloats to Travolta-as-Cage, Isnt this religious? The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners but youre still not having any fun! Maybe hes not, but we sure are. Bravo, bravo. AN

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Photograph: David James/Publicity image from film company

Theres been an increasing sense of desperation clinging to the majority of roles picked by Tom Cruise in recent years. Outside of the still shockingly entertaining Mission: Impossible series, he was miscast in the barely serviceable Jack Reacher and its maddeningly unnecessary sequel, his awards-aiming American Made was throwaway and his franchise-starting The Mummy was a franchise-killer. But four summers ago, he picked the right horse just maybe at the wrong time.

Because despite how deliriously fun Edge of Tomorrow was in the summer of 2014, audiences didnt show the requisite enthusiasm. It was a moderate success (enough to warrant a long-gestating sequel) but it should have packed them in, its combination of charm, invention and sheer thrills making it one of the most objectively successful blockbuster experiences in memory. The nifty plot device (Cruise must relive a day of dying while battling aliens over and over again) allowed for some dark gallows humor and a frenetic pace that kept us all giddily on edge while it also contained a dazzling action star turn from Emily Blunt whose fearless Full Metal Bitch wrestled the film away from Cruise. Blame its relative failure on the bland title? Cruise fatigue? Blockbuster over-saturation? Then find a digital copy to watch and rewatch and repeat. BL

Back to the Future (1985)

Photograph: Allstar/UNIVERSAL/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

Back to the Future very nearly wasnt a summer blockbuster. The reshoots required after Eric Stoltz was booted off, then the fact Michael J Foxs Family Ties commitments meant he could only shoot at night all meant filming didnt wrap until late April. Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg duly pencilled in an August / September release.

But then people started seeing it. Test scores were off the scale. Said producer Frank Marshall: Id never seen a preview like that. The audience went up to the ceiling. So they bagsied the best spot the year had to offer 3 July hired a squad of sound editors to work round the clock and two print editors with instructions to get properly choppy. They did, and those big trims tightened yet further one of the tautest screenplays (by Bob Gale) cinema has ever seen. The only bit of fat they left was the Johnny B Goode scene: sure, it didnt advance the story, but the kids at those test screenings knew we were gonna love it. Back to the Future is a pure shot of summer cinema: grand, ambitious, insanely entertaining. Deadpool, Avengers, take note: a blockbuster can be smart as hell so long as it wears it lightly. In the end, by the way, the film spent 11 weeks at number 1 at the US box office. Thats essentially the whole summer. CS

Teminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Photograph: Allstar/TRISTAR/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

The first film I ever saw at the cinema was The Rocketeer. We drove into Bradford city centre, bought our tickets at the Odeon and sat through the 1991 tale which followed the fortunes of a stunt pilot, a rocket pack and a Nazi agent played by Timothy Dalton who sounded like he was from Bury rather than Berlin. The way into the multiplex there was a huge poster for Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Arnie sat on a Harley with a shotgun cocked and ready. My dad was a huge fan of the original but he still couldnt swing taking a seven-year-old to see it. It wasnt until I borrowed a VHS copy that I finally got to see what was behind that image. Skynet, dipshits, T-1000s, a nuclear holocaust and a motorbike chases on the LA river.

Blockbusters dont usually have that edge: theres a more brazen mainstream appeal. But Judgment Day was and still is an exception. It did huge numbers at the box office (more than $500m), was a rare sequel that was arguably better than the original and introduced really odd bits of Spanish idiom into the Bradford schoolyard lexicon. I probably would have been scarred for life watching it as a seven-year-old, but as a teenager it gave me a story I doubt Ill ever get tired of revisiting. LB

The Dark Knight (2008)

Photograph: Allstar/WARNER BROS.

The summer of 2008 was a busy one: Barack Obama emerged from a contentious democratic primary to become the first ever black presidential nominee of a major party. The dam fortifying the entire global financial system was about to burst. China hosted its first ever Summer Olympics. But somehow, and not exactly to my credit, what I remember most from that summer is the uncanny, ridiculously over-the-top publicity blitzkrieg that preceded the release of The Dark Knight, which has since emerged as not just an all-time great summer blockbuster, but an all-time great American film, period.

There were faux-political billboards that read I believe in Harvey Dent; a weirdly nondescript website of the same name; Joker playing cards dispersed throughout comic book stores, which led fans to another website where the DA was defaced with clown makeup. Dentmobiles, Gotham City voter registration cards, a pop-up local news channel: the marketing campaign might have seemed excessive had the movie not so convincingly topped it. Ten years later, as films like Deadpool and Avengers: Infinity War try to reach those same heights of virality, The Dark Knight remains the measuring stick by which every superhero movie, and superhero villain, is measured. JN

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Photograph: Jasin Boland/AP

In many ways, Fury Road is summer: arid, scorching, bright enough to be squinted at. The driving force behind all the high-impact driving is scarcity of water, the essence of life in a desert where death practically rises up from the burning sand. Even in the air-conditioned comfort of a multiplex auditorium in Washington DCs Chinatown, watching George Millers psychotic motor opera left this critic sweaty and parched. My world is fire and blood, warns the weary Max Rockatansky (Tom Hardy) in the scripts opening lines. Staggering out of a theater into the oppressive rays of the sun, it sure can feel that way.

Millers masterpiece fits into the summer blockbuster canon in a less literal capacity as well, striking its ideal balance of dazzling technical spectacle and massively-scaled emotional catharsis. There was plenty of breathless praise to go around upon this films 2015 release, much of it for the feats of practical-effects daring, but the hysterical extremes of feeling cemented its status as a modern classic. I cant deny that Ive watched the polecat sequence upwards of a dozen times, but Millers film truly comes alive in Furiosas howl of desperation, and in Maxs noble disappearance into the throng. CB

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Its the music, its the giant boulder, its the Old Testament mysticism, its the whip, its the Cairo Swordsman, its Harrison Fords crooked smile, its the bad dates, its Karen Allen drinking a sherpa under the table, its the melted faces and exploding heads. Its all these things plus having the good fortune of seeing this at the cinema at a very young age, therefore watching most of it through my terrified fingers. (Indy tells Marion to keep her eyes shut during the cosmic spooky ending; way ahead of you there!)

The modern blockbuster as we know it was created by Steven Spielberg with Jaws and George Lucas with Star Wars, so the hype was unmatched when the two collaborated in 1981 with Raiders of the Lost Ark. As a kid I had no idea this was a loving homage to cliffhanger serials from the 30s and 40s, I took it as pure adventure. The seven-and-a-half minute desert truck chase (I dont know, Im making thus up as I go) is probably the best action sequence in all of cinema (John Woos Hard Boiled does not have a horse, sorry), but watching as an adult one notices a lot of sophisticated humor, too. (Indy being too exhausted to make love to Marion, for example, is something that didnt connect when I was six.)

Its strange to think I watched these cartoon Nazis on VHS with my grandparents who had escaped the Holocaust, and no one benefits when you do the math to figure out how young Marion was when, as Indy puts it, you knew what you were doing. But for thrills, laughs and propulsive camerawork (though a little mild Orientalism), nothing tops this one. JH

Independence Day (1996)

Photograph: Everett/REX/Shutterstock

Short of actually calling their film Summer Blockbuster, rarely can a films height-of-summer release date been so central to a films raison detre. This being the mid-90s, when po-mo and self-referentiality was all the rage, brazenly hooking your tentpole film to 4 July was seen as a pretty smart idea.

Fortunately, all the ducks did line up in a row for ID4: a game-changing performance from Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum at (arguably) his funniest, a rousingly Clintoneque president in Bill Pullman and most importantly in that run-up to the millennium physical destruction on a gigantic scale. Much comment at the time was expended on the laser obliteration of the White House (an early shot from the Tea Party/Maga crowd?), but I personally cherish director Roland Emmerichs signature move of detonating cars in somersault formation. Like many other huge-budget films then and since, Independence Day was basically a tooled-up retread of cheap-as-chips format of earlier decades though who these days would roll such expensive dice on what is essentially an original script, with no comic book or toy branding as a forerunner? We shall never see its like again. AP

Aliens (1986)

Photograph: Allstar/20 CENTURY FOX/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

An Aliens summer is one for moviegoers who prefer to sit in in darkened rooms when the sun is shining; the brutal confines of the fiery power plant make an excellent subliminal ad for air conditioning. In 1986, James Cameron took Ridley Scotts elegant, iconic horror template and turned it into an all-out action blockbuster, forcing Ripley once again to face down her nemeses in a breathless fug of claustrophobia, sweat and fear. Its relentlessly stressful and unbelievably thrilling.

I first saw Aliens many years after its initial release. Owing to its sizeable and long-lasting legacy, it was at once immediately familiar, yet also brisk and brutally fresh. I understood that it was a classic, but I wasnt prepared for just how good it is, for the pitch-perfect management of tension, the pace that never really lets up, the emotional pull. The maternal undertow of Ripleys protection of Newt, and the alien mirror of that, adds a level of heart unusual in most blockbusters, and her frustration at being a woman whose authority must be earned again and again, and then proven again and again, remains grimly relevant, 30 years on. Its also a total blast. Now get away from her, you bitch. RN

Jaws (1975)

Photograph: Fotos International/Getty Images

It is the great summer blockbuster ancestor the film that in 1975 more or less invented the concept of the event movie. And unlike all those other summer blockbusters, Steven Spielbergs Jaws is actually about the summer; it is explicitly about the institution of the summer vacation, into which the movie was being sold as part of the seasonal entertainment. It is about the sun, the sand, the beach, the ocean and the entirely justified fear of being eaten alive by an enormous shark with the appetite of a serial killer and the cunning of a U-boat commander. And more than that: it is about that most contemporary of political phenomena: the coverup, the town authorities at a seaside resort putting vacationers at risk by not warning them about the shark. The Jaws mayor has become comic shorthand for the craven and pusillanimous politician.

A blockbuster nowadays means spectacular digital effects, but this film is from an analogue world. It bust the block through brilliant film-making and an inspired score from John Williams, summoning up the shark with a simple two-note theme which became the most famous musical expression of evil since Bernard Herrmanns shrieking violin stabs in Psycho took the place of actual knife-slashing. I still remember the excitement of the summer of 1975, and the queues around the block at the Empire, in Watford, round the corner from the football ground. The inspired brevity of the title meant the word was repeated over and over again to fill the marquee display: JAWS JAWS JAWS as if they were screaming it! PB

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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thatsnotcanonpodcasts · 6 years ago

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Robotics, Pokemon & Sonic the Hedgehog

Here they come, blowing up your phone, getting funniest looks from, everyone who hears;, hey hey it’s the Nerds. That’s right folks, look out, strap in and enjoy the ride of yet another fantastic fun filled episode of chaos and laughter. Also I know you started to sing along with us in that opening sentence, just go with it and enjoy. First up we look at a robot using origami to pick things up. It is truly spectacular! The boys get Nerdy and geek out over this and the applications it could be used for. When you look at what it can do you will understand.

Then as we wander through the show the DJ giggles constantly like he fit to burst, we aren’t sure what was in his milk that morning but hey, it worked. The next stop on our magical mystery tour is Pokemon and the Brain, that’s right folks Pokemon and the Brain, not Pinky. Although this has been more successful in taking over the world then Pinky; note, we need to copyright that idea before….too late. Anyway, we take a look at how watching pokemon is affecting people’s brains, and we don’t mean the crazy people running out in traffic to catch Jigglypuff.

The DJ continues to giggle as he tells us about Sonic the Hedgehog and the change that is happening to rectify the massive failure that was released to so much anger. This is serious folks, some idiot somewhere is trying to make something look even more ridiculous then Will Smith in body paint…and that is a really hard thing to do. Then as normal we have the shout outs, remembrances, birthdays and events of the week, which has some pretty funny moments for your enjoyment. We apologise if this is too informative for some listeners, also hello to the NSA, CIA and the rest of the alphabet soup, we know you are listening. Also we wish to acknowledge the Penguins as the Earths Alien overlords, they rule the galaxy. As always, take care of each other, stay safe and keep hydrated.

EPISODE NOTES:

Robotics and origami - https://www.sciencenews.org/article/origami-design-helps-robot-lift-delicate-and-heavy-cargo

Pokemon and brains

- https://arstechnica.com/science/2019/05/theres-a-brain-region-for-pokemon-characters-if-you-played-a-lot-as-a-kid/

-https://www.futurity.org/pokemon-players-brains-2054662/

Sonic the Hedgehog movie character changes - https://www.cinemablend.com/news/2471298/sonic-the-hedgehog-co-creator-thanks-fans-for-pushing-to-change-movie

Games Currently playing

Buck

– Assassin’s Creed unity - https://store.steampowered.com/app/289650/Assassins_Creed_Unity/

Professor

– Minecraft - https://www.minecraft.net/en-us/

– Apex Legends - https://www.ea.com/games/apex-legends

Other topics dicussed

Facehugger (Alien monster)

- https://avp.fandom.com/wiki/Facehugger

Spot (Boston Dynamics robot)

- https://www.bostondynamics.com/spot-classic

Farmbot - Backyard robot for a fully automated garden

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqYrAWssrrY

2019 video games hall of fame inductees

- https://www.worldvideogamehalloffame.org/games

Windows 1.0 (Operating Software)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Windows_1.0

Grandmother Cell also known as Jennifer Aniston neuron

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandmother_cell

China having more gamers than the American population

- https://www.pcgamer.com/China-PC-online-game-market-report-2019/?utm_content=bufferc26c7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=buffer-pcgamertw

Stanford University

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_University

Various Stanford university experiments

- Stanford prison experiment - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment

- Mozart effect - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mozart_effect

Baby bump headphones

- https://www.amazon.com.au/BellyBuds-Baby-Bump-Headphones-Bellyphones-WavHello/dp/B01A6B3H9I

Detective Pikachu director’s opinion on the Sonic the Hedgehog

- https://www.theverge.com/2019/5/3/18528628/detective-pikachu-sonic-the-hedgehog-cgi-live-action-pokemon

Sonic the Hedgehog fans redesign live action Sonic

- https://www.polygon.com/2019/3/6/18253330/sonic-the-hedgehog-live-action-fan-redesign

Mario movie in the works

- https://www.gamespot.com/articles/nintendos-mario-movie-gets-a-release-window/1100-6464748/

Nintendo movies Phase One

Image link - https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5nCFkUXsAERrAG.jpg:large

Tweet - https://twitter.com/AwestruckVox/status/1124143052287815683

Apex Legends losing momentum

- https://www.polygon.com/2019/4/12/18300950/apex-legends-content-decline-update-patch-fortnite

- https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidthier/2019/04/26/respawn-has-a-very-good-reason-for-why-apex-legends-updates-are-coming-slowly/#7323db327d9e

A Dangerous Method (2011 movie)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Dangerous_Method

Sigmund Freud Museum

- https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/sigmund-freud-museum

Edward Jenner - pioneer of smallpox vaccine, the world's first vaccine

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Jenner

Ali Maow Maalin - Last person known to be infected with smallpox

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ali_Maow_Maalin

The Shane Oliver Experience (TNC podcast)

- https://thatsnotcanon.com/shaneoliverexperience

Shoutouts

5 May 2017 - “Baahubali 2: The Conclusion” becomes the highest grossing Indian box office film ever earning $120 million - https://deadline.com/2017/05/baahubali-2-the-conclusion-record-box-office-india-imax-north-america-worldwide-prabhas-1202079770/

8 May 1885 - Suicide Woman floats safely - 22-year-old Sarah Ann Henley decided to end her life by throwing herself off the Clifton Suspension Bridge, originally designed by the great Victorian engineer Isambard Kingdom Brunel. It stands 101 metres (331ft) above the River Avon and spans a 400-metre wide gorge. It has been considered an engineering marvel ever since it was opened in 1864. Sarah, a barmaid and a follower of fashion, was wearing a wide crinoline skirt, popular at the time. And according to the Bristol Magpie Newspaper: “There being a breeze blowing on Friday the young woman’s clothes were inflated and her descent was thereby considerably checked and the wind also prevented her falling straight into the water, and she was carried into the soft mud on the side.” - https://www.onthisday.com/articles/suicide-woman-floats-to-safety

6 May 1994 – The Channel Tunnel, latest wonder of the world,linking England and France, was officially opened on this day, nearly 200 years after the idea was first suggested. There were many misgivings, the sea having protected for centuries what Shakespeare described as “this precious stone set in the silver sea . . . this fortress built by Nature for herself against infection and the hand of war”. But the demands of modern commerce prevailed and the completed tunnel – stretching 31.4 miles under the sea – was hailed as one of the “seven wonders of the modern world" by the American Society of Civil Engineers. They rated it alongside the Empire State Building, the Itaipu Dam in South America, the CNN Tower in Toronto, the Panama Canal, the North Sea protection works in the Netherlands, and the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. It took six years to build at a cost of £4.65 billion – £12 billion ($17 billion) in today’s money. There is no facility for vehicles to be driven through – everything and everybody goes by train. Up to 400 of them pass through the tunnel each day, carrying an average of 50,000 passengers, 6,000 cars, 180 coaches and 54,000 tonnes of freight on the 35-minute journey. The average depth of the tunnel is 50 metres below the seabed, and the lowest point 75 metres below. To accomplish the task, 11 boring machines were used, each as long as two football pitches. They weighed a total of 12,000 tonnes, which is more than the Eiffel Tower. One of the machines remains buried under the sea while another, amazingly, was sold on eBay in 2004 for £40,000 ($57,000). - https://www.onthisday.com/articles/latest-wonder-of-the-world

Remembrances

30 April 2019 – Peter Mayhew, English-American actor, best known for portraying Chewbacca in the Star Wars film series. He played the character in all of his live-action appearances from the 1977 original to 2015's The Force Awakens before his retirement from the role. Mayhew was not in Star Wars: The Last Jedi but was listed in the credits as "Chewbacca Consultant". Mayhew retired from playing Chewbacca due to health issues. Joonas Suotamo shared the portrayal of Chewbacca with Mayhew in Star Wars: The Force Awakens, and then replaced him in subsequent Star Wars films. He died of a heart attack at 74 in Boyd, Texas - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Mayhew

2 May 2019 - Chris Reccardi, American cartoon director, graphic designer, animator, character designer, producer, writer and storyboard artist. He is best known for his work on the Nickelodeon animated series The Ren & Stimpy Show, and storyboarded many shows, including Samurai Jack,The Powerpuff Girls, Tiny Toon Adventures, and had directing duties on Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go! and SpongeBob SquarePants. He was also the supervising producer for the first season of Regular Show and creative director for the short-lived Secret Mountain Fort Awesome. In 2007, he co-created and developed a pilot for Nickelodeon called The Modifyers alongside Lynne Naylor, to whom he had been married to since 1994. He died of a heart attack at 54 in Ventura, California - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Reccardi

6 May 1992 - Marlene Dietrich, German-American actress and singer. Throughout her long career, which spanned from the 1910s to the 1980s, she continually reinvented herself In 1920s Berlin, Dietrich acted on the stage and in silent films. Her performance as Lola-Lola in The Blue Angel (1930) brought her an international profile and a contract with Paramount Pictures. Dietrich starred in Hollywood films such as Morocco (1930), Shanghai Express (1932), and Desire (1936). She successfully traded on her glamorous persona and "exotic" looks and became one of the highest-paid actresses of the era. Throughout World War II, she was a high-profile entertainer in the United States. Although she still made occasional films after the war like Witness for the Prosecution (1957), Dietrich spent most of the 1950s to the 1970s touring the world as a marquee live-show performer. Dietrich was known for her humanitarian efforts during the war, housing German and French exiles, providing financial support and even advocating their U.S. citizenship. For her work on improving morale on the front lines during the war, she received several honors from the United States, France, Belgium, and Israel. In 1999, the American Film Institute named Dietrich the ninth greatest female star of classic Hollywood cinema. She died of renal failure at 90 in Paris, France - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marlene_Dietrich

Famous Birthdays

5 May 1921 - Arthur Leonard Schawlow, Americanphysicist and co-inventor of the laser with Charles Townes. His central insight, which Townes overlooked, was the use of two mirrors as the resonant cavity to take maser action from microwaves to visible wavelengths. He shared the 1981 Nobel Prize in Physics with Nicolaas Bloembergen and Kai Siegbahn for his work using lasers to determine atomic energy levels with great precision. He was born in Mount Vernon, New York - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Leonard_Schawlow

6 May 1856 - Sigmund Freud, Austrian neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis, a clinical method for treating psychopathology through dialogue between a patient and a psychoanalyst. In creating psychoanalysis, Freud developed therapeutic techniques such as the use of free association and discovered transference, establishing its central role in the analytic process. Freud's redefinition of sexuality to include its infantile forms led him to formulate the Oedipus complex as the central tenet of psychoanalytical theory. His analysis of dreams as wish-fulfillments provided him with models for the clinical analysis of symptom formation and the underlying mechanisms of repression. On this basis Freud elaborated his theory of the unconscious and went on to develop a model of psychic structure comprising id, ego and super-ego. Freud postulated the existence of libido, a sexualised energy with which mental processes and structures are invested and which generates erotic attachments, and a death drive, the source of compulsive repetition, hate, aggression and neurotic guilt. In his later works, Freud developed a wide-ranging interpretation and critique of religion and culture. Though in overall decline as a diagnostic and clinical practice, psychoanalysis remains influential within psychology, psychiatry, and psychotherapy, and across the humanities. It thus continues to generate extensive and highly contested debate about its therapeutic efficacy, its scientific status, and whether it advances or is detrimental to the feminist cause. Nonetheless, Freud's work has suffused contemporary Western thought and popular culture. In the words of W. H. Auden's 1940 poetic tribute to Freud, he had created "a whole climate of opinion / under whom we conduct our different lives". He was born in Freiberg in Mähren, Moravia,Austrian Empire (now Příbor, Czech Republic). - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigmund_Freud

6 May 1915 - Orson Welles, American actor, director, writer and producer who worked in theatre, radio and film. He is remembered for his innovative work in all three: in theatre, most notably Caesar (1937), a Broadway adaptation of William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar; in radio, the long-remembered 1938 broadcast "The War of the Worlds"; and in film, Citizen Kane (1941), consistently ranked as one of the greatest films ever made. Welles was an outsider to the studio system and directed only thirteen full-length films in his career. He struggled for creative control on his projects early on with the major film studios in Hollywood and later in life with a variety of independent financiers across Europe, where he spent most of his career. Many of his films were either heavily edited or remained unreleased. His distinctive directorial style featured layered and nonlinear narrative forms, uses of lighting such as chiaroscuro, unusual camera angles, sound techniques borrowed from radio, deep focus shots and long takes. He has been praised as "the ultimate auteur". In 2002 Welles was voted the greatest film director of all time in two British Film Institute polls among directors and critics. Known for his baritone voice, Welles performed extensively across theatre, radio and film, and was a lifelong magician noted for presenting troop variety shows in the war years. He was born in Kenosha, Wisconsin - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orson_Welles

8 May 1828 - Henry Dunant, Swiss businessman and social activist, the founder of the Red Cross, and the first recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. The 1864 Geneva Convention was based on Dunant's ideas. In 1901 he received the first Nobel Peace Prize together with Frédéric Passy, making Dunant the first Swiss Nobel laureate. During a business trip in 1859, Dunant was witness to the aftermath of the Battle of Solferino in modern-day Italy. He recorded his memories and experiences in the book A Memory of Solferino which inspired the creation of the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) in 1863. He was born in Geneva, Switzerland - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Dunant

Events of Interest

6 May 1937 - Hindenburg Disaster, The German passenger airship LZ 129 Hindenburg caught fire and was destroyed during its attempt to dock with its mooring mast at Lakehurst Naval Air Station in the United States. Of the 97 people on board (36 passengers and 61 crewmen), there were 35 fatalities. One worker on the ground was also killed, making a total of 36 dead. The disaster, caught on newsreel coverage and in photographs shattered public confidence in the giant, passenger carrying Zeppelins and marked the end of the airship era. - https://www.onthisday.com/photos/hindenburg-disaster

7 May 1946 – Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering (later renamed Sony) is founded with around 20 employees. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Sony

7 May 1952 – The concept of the integrated circuit, the basis for all modern computers, is first published by Geoffrey Dummer. - https://www.wired.com/2010/05/0507integrated-circuit-concept-published/

8 May 1980 – The World Health Organization confirms the eradication of smallpox.

- http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/dm79sp.html

- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7044193

Intro

Artist – Goblins from Mars

Song Title – Super Mario - Overworld Theme (GFM Trap Remix)

Song Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNMe6kF0j0&index=4&list=PLHmTsVREU3Ar1AJWkimkl6Pux3R5PB-QJ

Email - [email protected]

Twitter - https://twitter.com/NAmalgamated

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/6Nux69rftdBeeEXwD8GXrS

iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/top-shelf-nerds/id1347661094

RSS - http://www.thatsnotcanonproductions.com/topshelfnerdspodcast?format=rss

#science #technology #nintendo #pop culture #robotics #trailers #movie news #famous scientists #live-action #famous people #spot #robots #detective pikachu #famous birthdays

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afterspark-podcast · 6 years ago

Text

G1 Episode 2: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

Stinger:

S: What’s your favorite thing out of Rescue Bots so far?

O: Is-is this not feline sleepwear for cat’s pajamas or something?

[Intro music plays]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I’m Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: Today we’re going to be talking about episode number 2, More than Meets the Eye Part 2. Let’s talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah, yeah, let’s do it.

O: Last time on the Transformers, if you remember, because presumably you listened to us talk about how giant advanced robots clearly can’t see a planet coming.

S: Uhm-hm.

O: The Autobots and Decepticons have crash landed on Earth and re-engaged in their eons long fight of good versus evil~

S: [snickering]

O: And we open--back on the oil rig, where we left last time, and everything is on fire.

S: Yup. Cue various Autobots and humans stuck among the oil rig wreckage. [sighs]

O: Which by stuck, I mean giant robots are being somehow stuck by flimsy little pieces of metal compared to them?

S: Somehow--somehow trapped, they are unable to lift this. [sigh] I don’t know.

O: I don’t know either. Anyway! So then, everything’s on fire. I believe I mentioned that. Uh, and they decide to put fire out by shooting at it.

S: And it works somehow. I mean, the Autobots would obviously make bank if they could mass produce Wheeljack’s fire suppression system. Cause he just, like, does one pass, and he’s like [sound effect] of foam. O: Of foam and all the flame goes out. And this was not a small fire, because oil rig.

S: Yeah, I mean, I guess this is how he prevents his own lab fires from getting out of control?

O: Which would make sense or the Ark should have exploded, long, long, [chuckles] long ago.

S: Or Iacon.

O: Or Iacon, probably Iacon. So then, we gotta save the squishies. Uh, and Optimus suddenly forgets how to swim.

S: With the meager, meager weight of two humans.

O: Which are Sparkplug and uh, Spike, right?

S: Yup.

O: And then he’s gotta be rescued by Jazz’s grappling hook, which will show up a couple of times in this epis--in like the next couple of episodes.

S: Um-hm.

O: Um.

S: [snickers]

O: So, then the Autobots bring the two back to the oil rig and proceed to imprint upon the first squishies they see. Optimus Prime proceeds to give Sparkplug and Spike what I can only describe as the Autobots’ elevator pitch of, “We’re the good guys, we’re fighting the bad guys, we’ve been fighting the bad guys for-freaking-ever.” [laughs]

S: Pretty much. [laughs] And then the humans are like, “We know more about Earth than you do.” And that’s basically the excuse used for literally every other human character that shows up in any other series.

O: Unfortunately.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: Yeah.

O: There are good human characters, but then there are bad ones. I’m thinking of the bad ones right now. [laughs]

S: [laughs]

O: So, the Autobots, imprinting upon their squishies, clearly bring them back to their base and we see Spike monologuing to himself while he writes in his diary.

S: Yeah.

O: It then cuts to Soundwave. As he creeps on--

S: [laughs]

O: A sixteen year old boy. Who is, I repeat, writing in his diary. [chuckles]

S: Yup. [chuckles] And while Spike is--Spike while he’s outside an alien base decides to pick up technology--AKA this super fancy boom box, which is Soundwave, admittedly--that he doesn’t recognize and brings it inside. [laughs]

O: Of which, I can only assume that Soundwave, when trying to come up with a plan to get into the Autobot base said to himself, “Oh wait! I know how to get in here by doing absolutely nothing.” [laughs]

S: And he actually does this multiple times in uh--like he does this in the Marvel comics too. He uses, like, two workers to get, like--he’s--he’s just waiting in a parking lot, and one of them’s like--

O: [snorts]

S: here’s this really cool 8 track tape player. I’m going to pick it up, take it past all of these guns, and all of these soldiers with guns, and I’m going to stick it my locker.

B: [laughter]

O: And then the locker explodes later, right? [laughs]

S: Yes, yes it does, and Soundwave unleashes his cassettes and, like--he broadcasts the transmission of him doing all of this stuff in this base, for you know, psychological warfare purposes I guess.

O: [laughing] Okay-

S: But that’s--that’s where that really great, like, contrapposto--

O: OH, got it.

S: --panel of Soundwave came from. [laughs] But yeah, Soundwave. Soundwave is totally big on very--disguises that don’t take a whole lot of effort. And apparently this is just one of his main hobbies, or tactics I guess?

O: I mean if it works, I can’t even blame him.

S: I mean we’ve got two examples out of two pieces of media, so I guess it works...

O: Well, I know he does it in the IDW comics too.

B: [laughter]

S: Oh true!

O: I read that! I know he does! So, yeah--

S: True. Oh god, and I think they do about the same thing in the movies, but it’s with Frenzy.

O: Yes...

S: Yeah, that’s how Frenzy--

O: Something like that.

S: That’s how Frenzy gets on the President’s plane or whatever.

O: Oh god--YEAH, yeah that’s right. I don’t think I realized that was Frenzy, I am going to completely delete that from my brain now. Moving on!

S: [laughs] At least I’m pretty sure it’s Frenzy? But yeah, let’s get back on business! And so Spike wants to know more about the Autobots and Cybertron and so the Autobots decide to show off for their new--their new buddy--their new pet, umm, I guess.

O: And uh, the Autobots are like, “Wow! Earth is really pretty,” and I swear to god Spike’s just like, “Yeah, yeah, Earth is nice but tell me more about your awesome alien planet.”

S: Pretty much, pretty much, he’s--he’s super impressed with--with Hound’s hologram projector and then--

O: [laughs] I think you mean ‘hoelo-gram’

S: ‘Hoelo-gram’.

O: This will be a theme.

S: Probably, yeah. [laughs] And then Hound takes Spike for the ‘ride of his life’. [sighs]

O: Why--why are all the robots in this episode so inappropriate to Spike!?! I don’t understand. We’ve got Soundwave, we’ve got Hound--it’ll be Hound again later!

B: [laughter]

S: I don’t think--I don’t think Hound’s intending to be, it’s just the subtext, except that yeah that screenshot from later is definitely one of the classics. Yeah. But they go see a lovely sunset on this ride. I mean it’s truly beautiful. It’s lovely, and then they get back.

O: So Soundwave, now being in the Autobot base because Spike brought him in--the front freaking door! [laughs]

S: And just left him there without telling anyone.

O: [laughs] Right! Not like I’m gonna take this home--I’m going to leave this over here for no fucking reason. Anyway! Soundwave transforms back into robot mode and ejects Ravage, who--turns into a panther, and then turns back into a cassette tape and hops into the Autobots’ computer to steal information as a cassette tape. Which, yes, I know, I know some old computers did this, but dear lord I didn’t grow up during that time period--so at this point in time in the year of our lord, 2018 it’s just fucking ridiculous because I have no context.

S: [snorts] Neither do I, oh my god. And then, Spike and Hound have come back and Spike catches Soundwave stealing information, and he strikes a pose!

O: ~Draw me like one of your French girls Soundwave~

S: Such contrapposto, I mean he’s like a model.

O: It’s very pretty. So Soundwave and Ravage now try to make their escape. The Autobots capture Ravage...

S: Except like, the first two times they kinda can’t? Or at least two minibots can’t.

O: They catch him eventually though.

S: Yeah after they make people turn on their headlights and their infrared.

O: Yeah. So then we cut back to the Decepticons, cause Soundwave has clearly returned, as they gather round Soundwave, who’s playing a cassette tape that I presume is not Ravage, because he’s been captured, for their Earth history lesson.

S: And they’re glued to the radio like a 1940’s family listening to the President’s fireside chats.

O: [snorts] Only, you know, they’re all giant robots.

S: And one of them is a warlord.

O: And one of them is the cassette deck! [laughs]

S: [laughs] Yeah-

O: Anyway, so uh, Starscream says something stupid--don’t remember what it was, all I remember is that at some point during the scene Megatron is like, [terrible Megatron impersonation] “Your knowledge is only overshadowed by your stupidity, Starscream!” Because of course he does. Um, and after listening to all of--to the like, Earth history lesson from Soundwave, Megatron’s brillant scheme is to steal energy from a power plant. By making a tidal wave hit a dam.

S: [groans] That’s not how that works!

O: I don’t know how he expects...any of this to work? I really, truly, do not, because of course the tidal wave is going to destroy the dam and how do you get the energy? And I don’t know???

S: But I did really like Soundwave’s sort of descriptive hand motion for that, I mean that was….quite nice?

O: Soundwave dispatches Rumble to start a tidal wave. Of which, by the way, Soundwave just shouldn’t be allowed to come up with operation names because he literally ejects him from his tape deck going, “OPERATION TIDAL WAVE.” Which just sounds completely freaking ridiculous.

S: Yup-- and Rumble gets to be a dick to dams.

O: [laughs] The Autobots notice something’s going on so they’re gonna go investigate and then we cut back--so then we basically cut from the Decepticons, to the Autobots, back to the dam and the dam begins to fall apart from like, the force of the water.

S: Uh-hm, and one of the humans hits a malfunctioning read out, like that’ll make it work better?

O: Definitely! Definitely, that’s how you fix everything, you just hit it. [laughs]

S: Percussive maintenance. It’s a thing.

O: The Decepticons attack. Uh, Megatron announcing himself only--as only he can. And by attack I mean, they burst through the wall like the god damned Kool-Aid Man and then Megatron shoots the ceiling...because he can!

S: [laughing] Yup, yup, that’s--that’s Megatron. And-and the dam is, as this happens the dam is crumbling because somehow Rumble’s attack is, well, whatever the hell he’s doing is apparently working. I mean maybe he’s just destabilizing the dam concrete?

O: I have no idea, but I swear it was the same shot as, like, the previous one of the dam crumbling. And it was just like, “We’re gonna show this again.” [laughs]

S: Hey they have to save some money, so...yeah.

O: So then, one of the humans explains to Megatron that the dam is going to LITERALLY explode and Megatron is happy about this because the electricity output is going to be at its peak.

S: And, well, I mean the human that’s talking to Megatron--he either super cares his work, or he just does not give a shit [laughs] about how squishy he is.

O: Because, again, forty foot robot, or thirty foot, or however fucking tall Megatron is--he’s very tall. Anyway--I would like you to stop for moment and say--HOW is any of this okay!?! [laughs]

S: That’s not how dams work! At all! Ever.

O: I guess we have to forgive the alien overlord for not understanding shi-Earth shit for a little while? [laughs]

S: Well, yeah, they probably don’t have water on Cybertron, maybe something else?

O: I don’t know.

S: Erm, I don’t know, there’s the sea of rust? I think there’s a mercury sea? It’s been a while since I actually looked at any of my, uh, the books--

O: Yeah, I don’t know.

S: -that go into Cybertron.

O: Uh, so [clears throat] the Autobots show up, by flying to the rescue.

S: Question mark, question mark, question mark. [sighs]

O: This will not be consistent, later in the series they make it relatively clear that only the Decepticons are able to fly, so, yeah this is fun.

S: Yeah, yeah. With the exception of Swoop, Skyfire, and Sideswipe’s jetpack. [Specs forgot to mention the Aerialbots among a few others here.]

O: [laughs] We’ll get to that! So Hound goes swimming to try to get Rumble, and then Ironhide and Bumblebee attempt to channel the water [from the dam] by shooting at the ground using Ironhide’s BUTT BEAM.

S: [laughs]

O: I mean trunk gun! [laughs]

S: [laughs] Aha, butt beam--

O: [laughs]

S: Butt beam, [laughs] butt beam! [laughs]

O: This works...somehow, even though the channels cannot possibly be that deep!

S: I mean, it’s a valid--it’s a valid strategy but I don’t understand how it would work cause they’re just like, zzt, zzt, zzt, zzt, zzzt! It’s sending things off at sort of weird right angles?

O: It just, it just doesn’t look very ‘effective,’ is the word I think I’m looking for.

S: Yes.

O: But anyway, it works.

S: Somehow. Special ground penetrating laser.

O: [snorts] His BUTT ground penetrating laser. [laughs]

S: [laughs] I don’t know, maybe it’s the same damn laser that comes out of his back later?

O: Ugh, body parts are weird. [laughs] The Autobots go to attack the dam, which is where--or the power plant in the dam, whatever. Where the Decepticons are now and they blast through a wall, door, something, anyway the point of this is--

S: I think it was already open.

O: Oh, okay, well, we see them shooting at what can only be described as Starscream and his mini me. [laughs]

S: [laughs] Yeah, they um, there were lots and lots of animation errors.

O: There’s about to be more! [laughs] So, we then cut to a shot that includes four Reflectors, three Rumbles, and Soundblaster. Allow me to break this down for why this does not work.

S: [laughs]

O: There are only three Reflectors, they’re-they’re the three little guys that turn into the camera. Uh, Rumble is in the water, and there’s only one of him. Soundblaster doesn’t even show up in Generation 1, but he’s basically the upgrade of Soundwave, um, and he’s basically just black. So they color Soundblaster [Owl’s meant Soundwave here] black for this shot.

S: Yeah, and I mean making you go back to rewatch this bit to confirm, confirm it, and the Starscream mini me was kind of hilarious, because your reaction. [laughs]

O: Basically was--what the hell am I looking at? And how do you fuck up this badly!?! [laughs]

S: They’re surprisingly versatile at fucking up really badly.

O: Oh yeah, Soundblaster’s gonna show up multiple frickin’ times, because apparently we can’t color Soundwave right. And then--Megatron, er, Optimus Prime comes busting in and I swear to god he tells Megatron the Cybertronian equivalent of, ‘to fuck off’--

S: [laughs]

O: And it’s beautiful. [laughs]

S: Yup. And then battle breaks out, there’s some elegant gymnastics by Mirage as he battles against, I think Skywarp and Thundercracker?

O: All I know is he’s like flippin’ all over the place [laughs]

S: Yeah, it’s a 10 out of 10 and completely ignores that these weirdos could fly like, five minutes ago. O: [laughs]

S: Because they’re on this catwalk? [laughs]

O: [laughs] And they’re all fine, but they don’t seem to attempt to fly?

S: Yes, cause MIrage gets knocked off, he grabs hold of it [the railing] and does some fancy ass backflips back on and then tosses some other person off, it’s like, yeah...

O: So then, Optimus Prime pursues Megatron, and Megatron Mufasas Optimus Prime, or at least tries to, because, if you’ll remember, like, a shot ago, or two, Optimus Prime was flying. They were ALL FLYING! And everyone’s going to forget that for like, three minutes, because they’re idiots. [laughs]

S: Yup, and Optimus gets to channel some awesome John Wayne around this area.

O: He does sound very John Wayne-ish here.

S: So Starscream shows up with a slingshot to a gunfight but instead of targeting anyone he just shoots it at the machinery.

O: And it works kind of. I-I don't know what's going on here. [laughs]

S: It sets off some sort of chain reaction I think and Megatron is like kind of pissed about it.

O: When is he not pissed at Starscream I think is the better question here.

S: Yeah that's true. That's true.

O: Anyway! So we cut to Megatron and Optimus Prime, um, on top of the dam doing a cunning impersonation of the Rock'em sock'em robots.

S: They truly do. They're just Rock'em sock'em roboting it up, man.

O: And bonking each other on top of the head.

S: So much bonk.

O: So much bonk.

S: It's like the only damn sound effect that they paid the Foley artist for and they were like this will work for everything

O: [laughs] We have to use it for everything! We've only got this one sound effect. Umm, so, then we get to some quality dialogue between Optimus Prime and Megatron with Optimus being like, “You destroy Everything You Touch, Megatron!” and Megatron giving one of my favorite lines I've ever heard him say which is, [terrible Megatron impersonation] “Everything I touch is food for my hunger, my hunger for power!” and I'm just like what the hell am I listening to!?! [laughs]

S: Yeah, and then Meg--Megs and Op fight with weapons that never really show up again, though they do show up in toys that get sold.

O: Toys, uh, they also show up to some degree in, ah, in some of the games later, like Optimus very frequently is using an axe in the games.

S: Oh, and I think--that they might show up in the movie?

O: They might, I dunno.

S: They might, it's been awhile since I watched that.

O: I try to forget I did!

S: Well, are we talking about the cartoon or the Michael Bay movie or do you want to forget--

O: Um, all of them? All of them. [laughs] Anyway, so we cut back to Hound, who's been under water too long apparently? Spike is getting worried?

[Disclaimer: Bumblebee was not out at the time of this recording but we both enjoyed it!.]

S: So he decides that he's going to dive down and help like, his friend the 20-foot tall giant robot.

O: Right! But before that, Hound and Rumble are fighting underwater which basically means Hound ends up with a bunch of rocks on top of him.

S: Somehow.

O: And Megatron finally knocks Optimus Prime off the dam and then he hela-flails the fuck out of there. By this I mean he's swinging the flail above his head, as he like, flies off off the dam. So it kind of looks like like he's flying through the power of hela-flailing!

S: [laughs] Oh the hela-flail, the good old hela-flail.

O: We never see it again. [laughs]

S: Yeah, and then Prime can’t swim again, it’s like water’s his greatest enemy and Jazz needs to rescue him again.

O: Because Optimus is failing at the doggy paddle. [laughs]

S: Yeah, [laughs] he just fucking fails [quietly] oh my God.

O: So--Spike finally reaches Hound, who stuck under rocks, uh, and he moves a rock, underwater in this really, really strong current and I don't know how any of this works--Spike is superhuman!

S: God, I’d almost say he's techno-organic like Sari, [from Transformers Animated] but...

O: [Cackles] Nope, nope--we’re several series off from that!

S: Yeah and I mean, yeah it wouldn't work anyway [snorts] but maybe someone's written fanfiction about it?

O: I mean..would it make some amount of sense? Yes?

S: Possibly, I mean, Sparkplug’s like the world's most interesting man.

O: [laughs] I built a robot in my youth--totally! This is my son. Although, it does kind of beg the question why he would be named Sparkplug and his son would be named Spike, but whatever. Anyway--so uh, Spike saves Hound. Umm, Hound proceeds to give Spike a suggestive back massage to say thank you. [laughs]

S: Well after lifting him to the surface because Spike was like--I need air!

O: There were hand motions.

S: There were hand gestures involved. And yeah this is like the--one of the classic suggestive screenshots this fandom is sort of...maybe not famous for but it’s like one of the--one of the classic ones if you go look for you know, suggestive screenshots.

O: I would like to take a moment to remind you that all of the robots for being inappropriate Spike here. [laughs] Please make them stop. Spike needs an adult. A real adult, not a fucking robot. Anyway, we cut to the Decepticons stealing energy from various locations, uh, Soundwave is Soundblaster again.

S: Um-hm.

O: Oh, there's a whole bunch of Seekers, I have no idea who they are--they're all over the place. There's one shot that's like, are they stealing from trees? There doesn't seem to be an energy source here but okay...

S: There's, yeah, there's a lot of inconsistency running around and it's not very clear.

O: It really isn't.

S: We won’t see any of these other Seekers again.

O: No--well, I think they might pop back up in the back of like other shots?

S: Maybe, but it's never explained.

O: It's never explained. It seemed pretty clear like, how many Decepticons Megatron had with him, then all these other random ones pop up and we’re like where are these coming from?

S: Why are there duplicates?

O: Yeah that too! Why are there 3 Rumbles?

S: Four rumbles actually if we consider that one of them is under water.

O: [Quietly] True. [Normal] So uh, Starscream gets the brilliant of--shooting rocks...rather inefficiently uh, making his spouse mad--I mean his boss.

S: And he’s do--well, he's doing super questionable science cause I mean I don't see him writing anything down. Which I mean, this is relevant in future episodes where it’s revealed--Starscream was a scientist and explorer.

O: You would think this would mean he'd know how to science but we don't really see him science very very often. So, while the Decepticons are arguing, uh, Trailbreaker is spying on them--I mean jacking into Megatron's brain waves, again and, uh, Sparkplug and Spike are in tow for some reason?

S: Hound and Trailbreaker are just super good at overhearing things with their little radio dishes.

O: You-You’d think there be like a blocker or that the Decepticons would have a blocker for this and/or the Decepticons would utilize a similar technique but they don't they usually just send in Laserbeak.

S: [laughs] Hey, he's versatile.

O: He is!

S: And-and Mirage is the spy and we don't really see him eavesdropping on the Decepticons but you did make a good point, which is that he turns invisible so…

O: Yeah, well he can turn invisible so maybe we wouldn't *see* him

S: True.

O: Uh, Megatron and Starscream continue to squabble some more. Uh, at which point Megatron is like, “Assemble the strike force!” or at least I think that was Megatron and we waste a perfect chance for a Decepticon roll call. Waste!

S: Absolutely wasted. And then the Decepticons are on the move, attacking Trailbreaker and the Witwickys. Cuz that's what you do when you’re giant alien robots who are also evil. And then Sunstreaker and Sideswipe arrive to help chase the Decepticon Seekers off basically by, uh, sort of ending up on either side of Trailbreaker and then Sunstreaker’s butt gun comes out. [laughs]

O: [laughs] There's a lot of butt guns in the show what the hell?

S: Trunk gun, trunk gun. [laughs]

O: Trunk gun [laughs]

S: And it's like Sunstreaker’s and Sideswipe’s breakout characterization moment where Sunstreaker’s, “I want to be pretty” stuff comes out and Sideswipe’s just like, “Everything's a joke.” Turn left, only make left-hand turns are right hand turns or whatever.

O: The Decepticons are now mining rubies and making it energon cubes from them.

S: Somehow, yes.

O: Somehow. But this gets better because suddenly we cut to Megatron who while talking about these rubies proceeds to shower himself with...the rubies. Not once--but twice! [laughs]

S: Um-hmm.

O: As I said, rubies are warlord's best friend.

S: And I wrote a haiku. [laughs]

O: Yes!

S: Rubies glitter in A warlord's eye fly they must To please fiendish mind

O: So then we cut back to the Auto...bots. Everything is wrong with his shot. Everything.

S: There's so much. Ratchet’s head isn't colored in and then-then Bumblebees out front but..

O: Also there's another Autobot which we think is Blue Streak--with Bumblebee’s head and by head I mean it's colored yellow and then Ironhide for some inexplicable reason, is topless. And by topless I mean he's colored the wrong color but it makes them look topless!

S: He's gray, his-his chest is colored gray so he looks like he's just, like, unpainted.

O: [laughs]

S: Which is probably the Cybertronian equivalent to being topless? Unless having your armor taken off is the Cybertronian equivalent?

O: So, Bumblebee and Sparkplug are basically picked the infiltrate the mine, to blow it up. Uhh, Sparkplug has worked here to apparently?

S: He’s the world's most interesting man. I mean we came to that conclusion with--hey, he's done oil rigs, he's worked here, where else has he worked? Has he been a secret service agent?

O: I wouldn't doubt it [laughs] considering!

S: Yeah, I mean comic Sparkplug just owns an auto shop. Cartoon Sparkplug is the op--action dude

O: He’s--[an] action hero. [laughs] So basically, while they're trying to sneak in, we see the two Seekers and they’re basically talking about how they want to go home, my poor bois. Uh, the explosion is set but then Thundercracker and Skywarp block the exit and bully the bee...again!

S: With much Bonk because, yeah.

O: Again, it’s the only sound effect they paid for.

S: Yeah. [laughs]

O: So then Optimus sends in Roller, which is like, his little baby, tiny robot that lives in his trailer. And he sends Roller in after Bumblebee and uh--

S: Sparkplug.

O: Thank you. Uh, and then explosions happen.

S: Because of that, uh, that highly technical explosive that they got from Wheeljack, but-

O: Which was set to go off in 60 Seconds?

S: Yes.

O: Which doesn't seem like enough time.

S: Well, you'd think that Bumblebee would be better at infiltrating things, considering that in, like, most of the other generations he's actually considered to be part of the-the infiltration team or something.

O: So shit explodes. Uh, the Decepticons are buried uh, and this knocks Optimus Prime off a hill which is where the episode ends. The next episode, uh, we should to, “Illusions Michael!”, Optimus Prime nearly dying, purple spaceship the second, and ROBOTS IN SPACE (kind of).

S: Kinda.

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs] Yeah and then, yeah.

O: [quietly] Shenanigans will insue.

S: Many shenanigans and also the world's most surprising parachute.

O: [laughs] Yes. All right Specs--what is our fanfic for the week?

S: Okay well, our two fanfiction recommendations for the week are the, “Grunt’s Guide to Warfare,” by Tirya King. Which is set in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated T, it's Gen so there aren't any pairings and the characters are the G1 cast. The summary is, “G1 Some things are universal throughout the galaxy the rules of warfare being some of them. If you wish to be a proper soldier you must learn these very important laws and incorporate them throughout your daily life.” And so, the characters or theme rec for this one was Murphy's Law because so much goes wrong in this episode.

O: Just...so much goes in this episode. [laughs]

S: Yeah...yeah, and then our second recommendation for today is, “Earth studies 101,” by Vaeru. Which is a G1 alternate universe, rated T, and no pairings so it's Gen. Uh, the main characters are an OC, so Evelyn, and uh, the G1 cast. So, it’s--in summary, “It’s a Transformers AU, it’s a Sparkbearer side story,” and if you were listening last week I recommended the first part which ss, “Transformers Juxtaposition” [naturally, also by Vaeru] so to continue the summary, “Professor Evelyn Hughes is accustomed to teaching linguistics but when one is friends with a crew of giant Alien robots one must be prepared to teach lessons of a very different sort. Drabbles and one shots,” and the theme for this one was, “We know Earth better than you!” That quote.

O: [laughs] Will live in infamy.

S: It will! But so those are our recommendations for today. I hope you enjoy them I mean review the fics and let the authors know that you liked it.

O: I think we're going to be doing fan art every other episode since we're doing artists instead of stories and it's just less of them overall. [Instead of just doing a few art pieces we’re recommending a singular artist.]

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check out our Tumblr at Afterspark-Podcast.tumblr.com for any additional information, show notes or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and SoundCloud and YouTube at AftersparkPodcast. Till next time!

O: I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And come back and we'll talk to you more about giant robots.

S: Toodles!

#transcript #afterspark podcast #g1 episode 2

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