#you know what this reminds me of? rogue one with jyn and cassian on the beach

[colleybri]

One of the greatest hugs in any film

Interview question: “Do you think Cassian and Jyn would have managed to connect even more due to their shared life experiences if they had even more time?”

Diego Luna: “Obviously! What a good question. I think that hug represents everything that could have been but was not and everything that was too, because that hug meant they were part of something together and I believe that union lasts forever”.

One of the single best story decisions that was made in Rogue One was this incredible hug between Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor, as they await death from the blast of the Death Star.

It’s sad enough just in the context of the film. After Season 1 of Andor, it’s even more moving. I think some of us will be emotional wrecks after Season 2. 

One thing I’m starting to realise only now is how Jyn’s story, as revealed in the film (and the novelisation), reflects Cassian’s so much. She was also a child of war, displaced and effectively orphaned, adopted before being forced to embark on a new life. She had it even worse than him, in many ways. But just like him she had an early zeal to fight, which she similarly went on to lose because of the bitter pain that commitment caused. She becomes disillusioned and cynical about the Rebellion. It takes a combination of hard knocks and a resulting realisation of the desperate NEED to fight the Empire - in order to preserve all that they hold dear - to radicalise both of them to the extent that they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the cause.

Cassian is already in that place - he reached it five years before. But in Season 2 I expect we will see further challenges, see the desperately awful things he might have to do and what else he will need to sacrifice ahead of his actual life. Sacrifices that wear down his soul, bit by bit. Luthen’s monologue hangs over everything. “ I burn my life for a sunrise I know I’ll never see.” It’s a bitter irony that Cassian is frequently placed in sun-rising imagery, culminating in the ‘sun’ of the explosion.

Jyn, in Rogue One, seems to be the spiritual shot in the arm that Cassian needs. In the same way that being inspired by his love for Clem, Maarva and Bix helps to spur him on in the Season 1 finale (when the chances of successfully rescuing Bix must seem non-existent)  Jyn seems to me to be the crucial reminder for Cassian of why he is doing all this in the first place. Her love for her father stops him from obeying the order to kill him. He just can’t do it. He can’t put someone he is growing to care about through the same agony he went through himself.

In the end, neither can live with themselves if they don’t fight. But both of them are fighting for the right reason: love.

The hug is platonic and therefore perfect because it’s universal, in a way: we can imagine - in their final seconds - that they can both see and feel the warmth and the arms of every single person in their lives who they ever loved in any form: parents, siblings, lovers, friends. And of course they also die feeling the arms of each other - bound together by their fight and sacrifice but also an embrace with someone they might have gone on to know, and to love, if the universe had been a kinder place. 

It’s one of the most perfect and beautiful death scenes in any film I’ve seen. 

But it’s also heart-crushingly sad. 

‘What could have been’. 

…..

Edit:

I think the earlier elevator scene is where they acknowledge the loss of what they could have had together. Cassian stares at Jyn with unblinking focus but he looks like he’s dying already from his injuries, and Jyn - not yet knowing for sure that she’s about to die too - looks completely devastated. By the time they reach the beach and see the blast approaching both of them look accepting of their fate… and I imagine that they can use their final moments to internally say their spiritual goodbyes to everyone they ever loved in their lives - and to each other. They are content to die together. They are at peace as they “become one with the Force”.

….

The sand is coarse on his fingers as he tightens the embrace and closes his eyes. Her face had been that of the last being he will see, and he is at peace with that. After all, she had already started to mend his broken soul and remind him of why he was doing all this in the first place. 

Love.

She is warm against him, her grip intensifying his physical pain, and intensifying whatever is going on now in his soul. They hug as if in the hope of keeping each other whole, the hope of somehow stopping the inevitable coming-apart. Almost as if to stop time and be forever in this state of in-between.

But there is no time at all. 

So he thinks he will imagine that the light is coming from her, her bright spirit - her hot molten core - soldering and melting them into one being. 

‘I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin.’

Extract above from  ‘Dawn Chorus’ chapter 5:

Diego Luna interview:

’ I don’t know where you end or where it is that I begin’ - from the song ‘Vision’ by Peter Hammill.

[notasapleasure]

Wild hopes for Andor S2:

Oh, apparently blorbo *might* be in the trailer? Riding a speeder on Dantooine you say? Aughhhh don't toy with my emotions like this!!

So for posterity, before anything about s2 does actually become clear, my vague hopes/'if I got to write their story' headcanons for my Ferrix badasses are a jumble of the following:

I don't see them immediately going back to Ferrix, they're recognisable (Bix is known to the Empire, Wilmon will be known by association with Salman, Bee is known as Maarva's droid, they had an eye on Brasso as 'the big guy' even before he fucked shit up with the funerary brick...and I can't remember Jezzi doing anything specific but she'll have been seen round Maarva's home and funeral), and riot or not, I'd say the Empire will be in the mood to make an example of Ferrix rather than to go 'oops our bad we'll leave you in peace'. So it seems a bad idea for the fugitives to return there for their rebellion as soon as they've left.

On that ship we know there's a skilled electrician (Wilmon) and mechanic (Bix), and I've always presumed Brasso must know his way around a ship well enough to be able to take it apart, and that Jezzi has some similarly Ferrixian industrial skill. I thought it would be very sexy if they all got involved in making/repurposing tech for the rebellion. In my heart of hearts they're patching together the first fleet of X-Wings.

Orange. Ferrix orange (Brasso's felt jacket orange) and rebel pilot orange. And there's the shot of Cassian in an orange pilot's suit in the trailer. I just. I just have hopes. And dreams. And colour was so significant in Rogue One (the red of the force/rebellion...there was an awesome post on here pointing out way more examples than I'd noticed, but I always think of the lining of Jyn's vest). Maybe it's reclaiming Narkina orange, even? But the look of the Ferrix clothes reminds me so much of the OT aesthetic, I think that's got to be the more likely connection.

Bee? Kay? Do they meet? ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ trying to suppress the thought 'what if Bee helps to make Kay possible?' but the thought has been thunk. (ETA: NOT into the theory that they're the same person that's not what I mean. I'm talking hardware donation. Wires and chips. Not personality)

Dantooine. Dantooine base. After all this time!!!! What Legends book did I first read about the base on Dantooine in?? idek but if I'd ever written the epic angsty plot follow-up to that one fic (only ever just one night) it would have involved the Ferrix gang making X-Wings work on Dantooine :') I have feelings about Brasso the wrecker learning to make things instead :))

It should go without saying that I want to see Bix channel her healing into getting stuff done and fucking up the Empire.

I guess my feeling is that if we're time-skipping over a five year period in a, what, 12 episode season? There's not time for a huge arc for all the Ferrix characters alongside everything else the show needs to cover. My cautious assumption is that this either means a load of them get killed off/sidelined early, or they're kept together in the same setting so their stories are interlinked, but presumably with focus remaining on Bix (and Bee). Dantooine/wherever the rebel base is beforehand/the move to Yavin struck me as a good place for this, where they can still be brought in and out of episodes through whatever time-skips happen because it's a place the title character is going to be coming and going from regularly, like Ferrix is in S1. Naturally it is a selfish thought to want to recreate the S1 dynamic :)) because I want my blorbo(s) to get to be relevant and a part of Cassian's life still, but if that suggestion about Brasso on a speeder on Dantooine in the trailer is remotely accurate then I will cry happy tears.

Who knows, if they get to survive, maybe all those heart-pulverising fics and fanarts about Cassian's (glass) stone being laid on Ferrix will find a place at the end of the series?

[onthesandsofdreams]

From The Sea [2/4]

Fandom: Rogue One Pairing: Cassian x Jyn Notes: Hi, uh, here's another chapter? @mousedetective: look, I wrote another chapter finally!

On AO3

She stares at the man, Cassian, her brain provides. "I am sorry," her own voice sounds dazzled. "But I most certainly have not. I don't know you."

The man, Cassian, gives her a solemn nod. "You did. But perhaps not in the way you think. You cried your pain into the sea."

Her brain near short circuits. "Excuse me?"

"The answer is simple, ma'am." Cassian says, but does not move. He makes no threatening move or sound towards her and remains firmly planted on his side of her door. "My kin and I, well, we live in the sea and we are honor and duty bound to attend those who need us. And you, Jyn Erso, need me."

She took a fearful step backwards, but still, Cassian did not move. This did not make sense! Did this man thought she was crazy or desperate? She wanted to speak, but the words died in her throat.

Cassian seemed to understand, "We are shifters. Beings created for comfort and aid; my kin and I have since time immemorial, have come to the aid of those who need us."

She rose a shaking hand towards her throat, "And how… how do I need you?"

Cassian gave her a soft smile. "You need a friend. You need comfort. To be reminded that no matter how hard things are, you are not alone."

Her pulse sped up, she could hear her blood rushing in her ears. "And you can do that?"

"Yes." Cassian said it so simply, without a hint of arrogance. Just pure unadultered belief. "Yes, I can help you, Jyn Erso."

"How do you know my name?"

"Your tears spoke it clearly enough." Cassian tilted his head, "I am willing to take an oath, if you wish, to prove that I am not here to harm you."

There was something… innocent in the way Cassian spoke. Oh he was sure of himself, but she could not detect the arrogance that made many men she had met before. Cassian seemed… very very different. There was something about him that spoke of truth, of protection, of a way out of loneliness and her heart ached, not for the first time for the father that she had lost. But still, it wasn't quite the same, Cassian was not fatherly, he was friendly. Like the friend who is with you through thick and thin. That steadfast friend who never abandons you, "I'll take your oath," she spoke before she thought about it.

Cassian nodded solemnly. "I, Cassian, of the Clan Andor, do solemnly swear to Jyn Erso that I mean her no harm. That I am here to simply be what she needs in this desperate time of need. That I will behave with honor, and never assume anything in regards towards her wishes. So I have spoken, my the abyss swallow me whole if I have spoke without honor."

For a moment, she thought her eyes were seeing things, but no. Cassian had glowed softly in front of her. The oath was binding him, she thought breathlessly. It took her a moment to recover, but when she did, she took another step backwards, "Come on in then, Cassian. I am about to have dinner."

~

Dinner, much to her surprise, is a quiet affair. Cassian seems to know how to behave in a human table. At least, he has the manners and eats respectfully and does not complain about her simple food. Since her mother's passing, she has found herself unable to make the elaborate meals she and her mom used to enjoy. Now, she eats to survive, the joy is gone.

~

She leaves Cassian in one of her guest bedrooms. As a test, she leaves her door unlocked, does not sleep thanks to her insomnia.he gives Cassian a guest bedroom and leaves him be. She leaves her door unlocked and does not sle

She reads all night and Cassian never tries to get into her room. Nor does he make a sound.

~

She makes a stronger than usual cup of coffee and when Cassian walks in, he takes one look at her and says, "You did not sleep."

She freezes.

"Your eyes are a bit red and unless you cried - which I would have heard - you did not sleep." Cassian frowns. "You need to rest Jyn, for your sake. I vowed not to harm you, if you must know, my vow would strike me dead if I tried."

When she regains her wits, she blinks and delays answering by taking a deep gulp of coffee, it is bitter and perhaps she should have added milk and sugar and it turns her stomach. Then sets her cup down, "I have insomnia. Can't sleep."

Cassian nods, as if he truly understood. "A grief like yours tends to bring it. But still, you should try and sleep, you will hurt yourself more if you don't."

She looks away. How can she tell him that every time she closes her eyes, the only thing she sees is her mother laying down in hospital bed, gaunt and pale? She swears she can still feel the cold when she touched her mother only to find her gone. "It is hard," she settles. "I have nightmares."

"If you wish, I could keep you company. We do not have to speak, just to remind you that you are not alone."

"Thank you," she says. "Perhaps. Would you care for some eggs?"

Cassian gives her a look like he knows what she's doing. In the end, he nods and she releases the breath she didn't know she was holding.

~

Later that night, she turns to Cassian, "Is the offer still up?"

"About keeping you company? Yes, it is."

They settle in the small office, she lights a fire and grabs a book. "Feel free to read what you'd like," she tells him. "It's only fair."

Cassian nods, settles with a poetry book and lets her be. And for once in a very long while, she feels at peace.

~

She is not exactly thrilled at the thought of needing help. Much less, this man who claims to come from the sea, who claims to have tasted her grief, but she cannot deny the peace she feels around him.

There is something there, something very deep and mysterious that she does not know how to explain that pulls her to him.

She does not want to consider what it may mean.

He will go away again, when she is better. And if she is being honest with herself, she does not know how to handle the fact she does not want him to.

So, she remains silent.

~

One night, one of those rare one in which she falls asleep without Cassian's help, she wakes up sobbing.

The grief she had tried to push away from her, to ignore, she finds that she can't and she now finds herself drowning in it. She is so caught up in her pain, in her sobbing, that she misses when Cassian rushes to her, misses him sitting down next to her, misses him pulling her into his arms and gently rocking her. Misses how soft his voice is when he sings in a language she does not understand.

She misses it all.

But she does not miss it the following morning, when she wakes in his arms. Cassian resting against her bed frame, her small form curled around him.

If she weren't so exhausted, she would pushed herself away. But she does not have the strenght, not with her pain and grief as raw and open as last night.

"I hope you do not mind," comes Cassian's low voice from above her head. "But I could not leave you. You needed me."

A knot forms in her throat. Yeah, she did.

"Thank you," is all she manages.

Cassian rubs her arms comfortingly, "You are most welcome, Jyn. Go back to sleep."

And, as if commanded, her lids turn heavy and she soon knows no more.

~

When she awakens next, she is still in Cassian's arms. Guilt crashes onto her quick, "Oh, Cassian, I am so sorry." She pushes herself out of his arms, and some part of her screams at her for doing so.

Cassian gives her a gentle smile, "There is no need to be sorry, Jyn. This is why I am here. Because you need me."

She clears her throat, "Still…"

Cassian's lips curl gently up, "Jyn, it is a privilege helping you. No one should be alone during such terrible moments."

She stares at him, he is calm and peaceful; undisturbed or annoyed. No, he understands and as much as she wants to deny it, she does feel better. "Would you let me make a special breakfast, as a thank you?"

Cassian's eyes sparkle with warmth, "If you feel like you must, but know that anything is fine by me."

She gives him what she hopes is a relieved smiled, "Alright then, c'mon on. My special breakfast casserole is coming up."

"Lead on, Jyn, lead on."

~

After that, life gets easier and harder.

Easier, because she finally feels like she can properly express her grief and say what's on her mind without being judged, because Cassian does not judge. "People are complicated Jyn, you are allowed to have conflicting feelings."

And she understands.

Oh, she does.

She feels lighter, because Cassian is like a beacon of light and love casting such powerful spell, that she feels like she can properly be again. She feels like she can truly morn and then, move on. Because she knows her mother would not have wanted her to cast herself in doom and gloom for the rest of her life.

No, her mother would have wanted her to dance and sing, and jump in puddles in the rain, to fall in love and form a family (whichever form it took) of her own. Her mother would be cheering her ever on. She owes it to her to honor her that way.

And harder, because with every day she passes, she cannot help but to notice Cassian.

Not Cassian the wondrous being who came to save her.

But Cassian, the man.

The man whose dark brown eyes are always full with kindness and compassion, but she can see the fire there. She knows that if Cassian saw someone being hurt, he would not stand for it. Those eyes that sparkle when he laughs and look at her and make her weak at the knees.

His deep voice, a voice that many times now has lulled her to sleep. There is something there, deep and enthralling about it that much like a siren's song, she cannot help but want to follow and continue hearing him speak.

His lean, strong form. How firm his chest felt on those times she felt asleep in his arms. His arms, that every time he wrapped them around her, she had to pretend to be fine letting go. She wanted to lived encircled in the safety of his arms.

How to forget this? How to ignore this? The answer was simple: There would not forgetting Cassian.

She knew that she was headed for heartbreak, but she did not care. Her mother would have reminded her that it no matter the pain, it was better to love and loose than shielding her heart always afraid of breakage.

And so, one night she arms herself with valor. She hypes herself up and buys flowers for her table, a decent bottle of wine and she whips up a three course meal.

When she calls Cassian over, she does her best to be calm. She did not dress up, she knows she should have; but that would have tipped Cassian that she was planning something, and for this, she would need a bit of the element of surprise.

When Cassian enters the kitchen and sees the table, he gives her a look she can't quite decipher. It feels like an eternity before he smiles at her and sits down, she releases the breath she did not know was holding and she grins. Her heart beats faster at the look in Cassian's eyes. Unless she is imagining it, there is something almost predatory in them. The phrase, 'Hungry like the wolf', comes unbidden.

A wild part of her hopes he will eat her whole.

The dine, under the guise of her thanking him for everything that he has done for her. He gives her a knowing look and says, "I know, and our time together is almost gone."

She bites down the bitterness that comes with his statement, but she will not be deterred. If she will only have even one night with him, the pain of their parting will be worth it. "And I will be sorry to see you go," she says softly. "You have been - dare I say it - almost heaven sent. I would not have been able to mourn and let it go without you."

Cassian shakes his head, "You would have. Eventually, but you are too strong a person to have crumbled, your pain would have diminished on its own; I simply sped up the process."

"Still," she says. "You are the best thing that could have happened to me."

Cassian gives her a look that she can't identify, "And I count myself fortunate, Jyn Erso, in getting to know you."

She does not speak, but holds his eyes instead. She watches as they darken, as they grow deeper and there is that fire. Her heartbeat speeds up, blood rushes in her ears and…

They both stand up as one, Cassin gives two long steps and takes her into his arms. His lips descent on hers, and she responds to his hunger eagerly. Willing to be consume and to devour him. To melt and become one. Cassian's hands slowly go from her waist to her rear, and she shivers as his hands leave trails of fire. A fire that roars when he clutches at her ass, and she, by instinct, leaps into his arms.

They barely part lips enough to draw breath, and then their lips clash again. She clings to him as he takes them to her bed. The clothes come off, nearly being ripped from each other's bodies, strewn all over her floor. She does not care.

All that she care right now, is the passion, the love she feels for this man. All that matter is his hands on her body, his lips on her, the groans she manages to pull from him. All that matters is this mutual pleasure.

And she feels lighter and happier than she has ever been. Cassian draws moans and shivers from her no one ever has, she understands now the French's reason of 'la petit morte'. And she knows that no other man will ever compare to this one, to this kind, gentle, passionate and loving man who fits with her so seamlessly.

Tired, worn, content and more at peace than she has ever being, she falls asleep atop Cassian's naked chest, using his heartbeat as a lullaby.

The pain will come, but right now, all that matters is this moment.

[mostthingskenobi]

CASSIAN'S RECKONING - Chapter 13: The Redemption

CHAPTER SUMMARY: A little more hurt/comfort. Or maybe it's more accurate if I say comfort/hurt…

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READ THE FIC ON AO3

THIS IS A WHUMPY FIC W/GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE. PLEASE HEED THE TAGS ON AO3.

——————–

CHAPTER 13: THE REDEMPTION

Jyn had forgotten how disorienting living on a freighter could be; without the military’s strict time keeping, she would have lost track of ‘day’ and ‘night.’ Even so, she forgot to eat, refusing to leave the medical wing as she followed Cassian through his treatments, experiencing her own emotional turbulence along the way. From the moment the Ghost docked with the Redemption, Jyn disappeared into a nebulous state where she muddled time and relived old fears.

Cassian’s injuries were so widespread and varied the medical staff concurred bacta submersion was his only chance for survival. The doctor’s report was a grim reminder of how much a body could endure without dying. Though most of the cuts on his skin were superficial, each showed signs of salt-based caustic abrasion; his blood samples revealed evidence of multiple toxins that induced massive inflammation, including in nerves and organs; he had a separated shoulder, seven broken fingers, a blaster wound, and first degree burns around his forearms, biceps, and neck. None of this torture accounted for his emotional trauma, nor the physical toll caused by deprivation from food, water, and comfort.

Jyn hovered in the freighter’s medical wing for days. At the beginning she spent hours waiting outside the triage, fearing the worst. After Cassian went into shock aboard the Ghost, she and Melshi administer first aid; she hoped their best was enough to save him. When the Redemption’s medic came to speak with her, Jyn resisted the urge to shrink away; he assured her that, thanks to Rogue One’s actions, Cassian had a fighting chance. The medic offered to stich up her injuries. She’d nearly forgotten about the cuts and bruises that marred her own brow; she lay on a sterile table as he cleaned, sutured, and dressed her gashes, numbly wondering if Cassian had laid there only moments ago. Jyn wanted to cry and sleep and disintegrate. She was tired of facing challenges, of rising to the occasion; she craved slowness, silence, calm.

Did she even know what such things felt like?

After the medic finished, he volunteered to bring her to Cassian. She followed him down a narrow corridor and turned into a dark room where numerous bacta tubes stood upright with ethereal blue lights illuminating each tank’s base. The man led her three rows back, nearly to the column’s end, and there she found Cassian, already floating in the healing elixir. She stared defeatedly, her face aglow in the dark, lit by the tank’s blue hew. Jyn reached out and placed her palm against the glass, willing Cassian to know she was there. His features were soft, relaxed, his hair delicately undulating around his face.

“Did he ever regain consciousness?” she asked the medic who waited nearby.

He clasped his hands together nervously. “No.”

“Do you think he’ll live?” Part of her hated that she needed to ask the question, but her nature had always demanded blunt truth.

“He’s very weak,” the medic replied cautiously. “All we can do is hope for the best. Let the bacta do its work.”

Jyn haunted the halls for days, walking up and down, never able to settle anywhere for long. After what felt like an eternity, she was informed Cassian was being moved to the main medical ward—a huge room full of beds.

She sat by his side until yesterday when he unexpectedly woke with tears in his eyes.

The doctors had finally declared Cassian stable, and with that knowledge she allowed herself to sleep. Her chair was positioned directly next to his bed, her body bent forward, head on her arms, resting on the mattress next to him.

She woke when she felt fingers push into her hair. Jyn sighed gently before turning into the touch. Then her eyes shot open, remembering where she was, and she twisted upright. Cassian cupped her face, affectionately running his thumb over her cheekbone. “Hello,” he smiled weakly.

She wanted to throw her arms around him; instead, she clasped his hand in hers and pressed it tighter against her cheek, squeezing her eyes against the tears that threatened to come.

“You’re still here.” Speaking required a great deal of effort. His voice was tired and dry.

Once Jyn managed to get her emotions under control she said, “I didn’t want to leave you.”

His eyes were very dark and sunken but they had their twinkle back. “Every time I woke up, I saw you. Even in the bacta tank.”

“You were conscious in the bacta tank?”

He barely managed to shake his head. “No, not really. I just remember little flashes here and there. But you were in all of them.”

They held onto each other, their grip tightening. “After everything you’d been through, I didn’t want you to wake up and be alone.”

He carefully traced her stitches. “Are you hurt?”

“It’s a little tender but it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Who did this to you?” His tone was calm, inquisitive, not demanding.

“Melshi.” She couldn’t keep from smiling because she knew the information would surprise him.

Cassian was clearly shocked. “He and I are going to have words.”

“I made him do it. It’s possibly the meanest thing I’ve ever done to Melshi.”

Andor snorted. “I don’t know. Breaking his nose with a shovel was pretty mean.”

“He told you about that?”

“Of course. When he first brought you to Yavin he told me you were a bloodthirsty bitch and that I should watch my back.” He almost laughed but it hurt too much.

Jyn grinned. “I didn’t make a very good first impression.”

“He warmed up to you eventually.”

“If you’d been slaving away on Wobani, you’d have hit Melshi in the face with a shovel too if it meant going free.”

“We’ve already been down that path, haven’t we, Cass?” a new voice spoke as it approached.

Jyn and Cassian turned to see Melshi and all of Rogue One walking through the medical ward toward them. Cassian withdrew his hand and Jyn stood up to welcome their friends. Everyone circled around, warmly greeting each other.

Bodhi offered Jyn a steaming cup of coffee and a boxed lunch. “We came up here to bring you food. I don’t think you’ve eaten for a few days.”

Her heart swelled. “Thank you.” The smile she gave her friends said more than any words. She sat down and started eating while the others gathered near Cassian’s bed.

“You’re looking much better than the last time I saw you,” Melshi said.

“Yeah,” Bodhi agreed. “How are you feeling?”

Cassian shrugged. “I’m tired and really cold, but I’m OK.” He flexed his hands. “Though my fingers still hurt.”

“Tarkin is an old bastard.” Melshi grimaced.

“Was,” Baze corrected.

“Right,” the sergeant agreed. “A dead old bastard.”

“What?” Cassian looked around at his comrades, completely at a loss.

“He couldn’t know,” Chirrut reminded the group.

Everyone looked to Jyn. She swallowed a bite of food before leaning closer to Cassian. “Tarkin is dead. Princess Leia brought the Death Star plans back to base, but she was tracked. There was a battle over Yavin. Some rookie rebel pilot blew the Death Star to hell and Tarkin along with it.”

Cassian’s eyes became huge. “It’s been destroyed?”

Jyn nodded.

“Scarif…the plans…someone got them?”

The entire group nodded, each one of them smiling.

Cassian felt his pulse increase in a wave of gratitude. Everything they had suffered as a team and as individuals was suddenly cast in a different light. All the sacrifices, all the dark decisions, even getting captured and tortured was suddenly worth it because their plan had worked. Rogue One had succeeded. The Death Star was destroyed and all at once the Empire didn’t seem so invincible.

“According to Princess Leia,” Jyn continued, “Tarkin was on the Death Star when she escaped, so we’re assuming he was on board when it was destroyed.”

Cassian remembered the last time he saw the Grand Moff. “He was headed there to interrogate her.” He looked up at his friends. “Tarkin was transferring me to the Death Star with him. If you hadn’t shown up when you did, I’d be dead right now.”

The narrowly avoided perdition made Jyn’s stomach turn over.

“I know you all took a terrible risk for me,” Cassian said, humbly. “I’ll never forget it.”

Baze clapped him on the shoulder, eliciting a wince from the rebel commander. “You’re worth it.”

“The bad part is Yavin was compromised,” Melshi said crossing his arms over his chest. “They’ve had to abandon it, which is why we’re floating around in this thing,” he gestured to the ship that stretched above them.

“So, we don’t have a base?”

“Nope. We’re basically an armada until further notice.”

A silver 2-1B medical droid rolled up and interrupted the conversation. “I’m sorry, but this many guests are not allowed in the wards. You’ll have to leave.” The group protested but the droid would not be overruled. Herding them toward the exit it turned to Jyn. “You too, Lieutenant.”

Her surprise changed to concern and she looked to Cassian for guidance.

“Go on,” he assured her. “Get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

Chirrut appeared at her elbow and took her hand. “Take comfort, Jyn. He’s burning bright in the Force again.” The guardian smiled warmly.

With one last glance over her shoulder, she allowed herself to be ushered away. Cassian could sense it unsettled her. They were both all too aware each parting could be their last.

The 2-1B droid returned to Cassian’s bedside and pulled a privacy drape around the area.

The rebel instinctively became tense. “What are you doing?” He was painfully cognizant of his vulnerability; not only was he bogged down by IVs and monitors, but he certainly didn’t have the strength to protect himself if needed.

“Doctors have ordered a small treatment for the gash on your eye,” the medical droid replied as it pushed a narrow trolly near Cassian and began arranging a protective cloth under his head. “It’s nothing to worry about, Commander. The procedure is painless and of short duration.”

The droid lowered the bed so Cassian was lying flat before positioning itself near the crown of his head.

He became so tense that his fingers went cold and his muscles began to shake.

The 2-1B reached for something on the trolly.

“Wait! Wait,” Cassian demanded. “Tell me what you’re doing first.”

The droid tilted its head and looked down at him. “It is a gentle bacta eye wash. I will spray a mist locally on your eyelid and brow.”

“My eye is fine,” Cassian replied too forcefully. He knew it was a lie but he didn’t care; after the IT-O interrogator tried to cut his eye out, he didn’t want anyone coming near him, especially not a droid.

“Commander,” the docile machine said evenly, “if you wish to avoid long-term complications, this treatment is advisable.” 2-1Bs were programmed to care about their patients, and this unit was particularly gentle. “If you feel uncomfortable during the procedure, I will stop.”

Andor clenched his teeth, realizing the droid was waiting for his permission. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, so he simply nodded.

“Very well,” it said as it retrieved a small spraying nozzle from the trolly. “Please close your eyes.”

Cassian did as he was told.

The instant the mist touched his skin his heartrate skyrocketed. He breathed heavily through flared nostrils, overwhelmed by memories of ice-cold salt water ripping through every cut on his body.

“Please remain still, Commander.”

He tried to comply, grinding his teeth and squeezing his hands so tightly they ached. Only minutes ago, he had felt like the Empire was less invincible, but now he realized he was still firmly in their grasp. “B!” he shouted. “I can’t!”

The mist instantly turned off and a soft towel dried his face. “My name is 2-1-B, Commander.”

Cassian shook violently as his bed rose back to its standard height. “Right. Sorry,” he muttered.

“It’s quite all right.” The droid replaced his pillow with a clean, dry one. “I was unable to complete the procedure. Perhaps we can try again later?”

Cassian gave a reluctant nod.

“Get some rest,” the droid said gently before opening the drape and motoring the trolly back to the supply closet.

Once he was alone, Cassian closed his hands over his eyes and tried to come to terms with the bleak realization that, thanks to Tarkin, he now had a new set of obstacles to overcome.

END NOTES

NEXT CHAPTER IS CALLED “THE SPOILS" - Jyn gets a chance to do some real good for Cassian.

Thank you for reading!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are very welcome!

Much love!

——————–

READ IT ON AO3- Kudos and Comments Welcome :-)

READ CHAPTER 1 “The Razor”

READ CHAPTER 2 “The Scythe”

READ CHAPTER 3 “The Cold”

READ CHAPTER 4 “The Expendable”

READ CHAPTER 5 “The Truth”

READ CHAPTER 6 “The Detritus”

READ CHAPTER 7 “The Salt”

READ CHAPTER 8 “The Power”

READ CHAPTER 9 “The Betrayal”

REACH CHAPTER 10 “The Ruse”

READ CHAPTER 11 “The Reprieve”

READ CHAPTER 12 “The Ghosts”

READ CHAPTER 13 "The Redemption"

READ CHAPTER 14 “The Spoils”

READ CHAPTER 15 “The Interrogation”

READ CHAPTER 16 "The Rogues"

READ CHAPTER 17 “The Absolution”

READ CHAPTER 18 “The Reach”

READ CHAPTER 19 “The Hologram”

READ CHAPTER 20 “The Divide”

READ CHAPTER 21 “The Cost”

READ CHAPTER 22 “The Fallout”

READ CHAPTER 23 “The Wounds”

READ CHAPTER 24 “The Hand”

READ CHAPTER 25 “The Heart”

READ CHAPTER 26 “The Beginning”

[technicalthinker]

I haven't even rewatched Rogue One yet but I realise I am still so incredibly emotionally compromised by the ending, specifically the ending Cassian and Jyn scenes. Seeing gifs, bits of it in edits or just thinking about it gets to me and god I rly need to rant about it and explore why (under the cut bc it got long lmao, warning for rogue one spoilers obv if you haven't seen it)

This breakdown is mostly from memory so I've prob misremembered details that is gonna ruin me on a rewatch.

Like ofc we have all the baggage of the entire movie, their conflict and the way they've connected in the background. But I think it's how in the end they're both battered and bruised. They're worn down, struggled to reach this point, and at the end Cassian managed to get up there to save Jyn with his last strength. It is all just scrambling for a win, giving it all they got to just do this one thing (the way everyone on their team has sacrificed themselves to get them here really just enforces that)

And then the moment in the elevator is just... not a word said but it gets me because it's so vulnerable. Both these characters have hard exteriors that they project to the world but in that moment they just look at each other with so much emotion and love. Cassians look especially is just so tired and yet love and admiration for Jyn. The performances here rly are.. it hits me. It's also physically intimate but in a way that just feels calm, soft, like they're resting. And it hits the feeling of, the realisation that exists between the characters from here on out "oh maybe we could've been something-".

and then out on the beach, they're proud. "do you think anybody's listening?". and the thing is, we know SOMEONE IS LISTENING. they did win. this isn't a tragedy of them trying and still failing, they've completed their mission. and they don't know it, but we do, they've saved the galaxy. because they decided to hope and love and do the right thing.

But the tragedy is that they're not going to make it. The fight is over. They're not going to survive this, but there is no fight left to take. They've done enough fighting, so for them to in the end face something so unavoidable is almost peaceful you know? The fact that they get to face the end together is beautiful, but that they have to die at all is so damn unfair. The comfort they share, the support, and god I think Diego Luna summed it up pretty well in the clip that "that hug represents everything that could have been but didn’t happen" ( x ). And so it is sad to mourn what they're losing, that they don't get to live in the galaxy they've saved. They don't get to see the end of the rebellion.

So in the end there's sadness between them as well, sadness and fear of the end, but they hold each other and find comfort in the other. Both emotional, but also as a reminder that they did win this together. Once again, the performances and the shots and everything is just beautiful. It is soft, intimate and the last closeups of their faces as they just hold the other will be stuck in my brain forever.

So in summary, I think the reason why it gets to me, that I'm feeling when typing this out, is that there is this blend of so many different emotions happening in this one sequence. This is also why I've been struggling with grasping it, because there's so much at the same time that captures different things from the human experience.

The vulnerability they dare to share with each other, the pride of winning, the fact that instead of doubt they embrace the hope of their rebellion! But then the sadness and sorrow of what could've been, fear of what to come, but also the comfort of having each other, having shared this experience and saved the galaxy. It is both that we feel what the characters are experiencing, but for the viewers that know they're faith isn't misplaces, that light will prevail, that someone is listening, that really just hits it home for me.

[oh-nostalgiaa]

number one for Icemav please, whenever you get to it. don't forget to drink water and get some rest.

Thank you for the ask and the reminder that we all need sometime.

A few things, though -

I post so many writing prompts that I wouldn't know what this was referring to if I looked back at my archive. You'd have to specify which meme.

Secondly, that is not a pairing that I currently write for, have ever written for, or want to write for. You would have benefitted from taking a look at my pinned post, which is my writing masterlist. You might have noticed that the vast majority of fic linked features Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor from Rogue One.

That is the main (and only) pairing that I've written since 2016.

To avoid making this mistake with others, perhaps take a look at what they post to ensure that they're even interested in the movie or the pairing that you're looking for.

Good luck out there! I know there are plenty of writers who'll do this pairing justice, it just ain't me.

[finishwhatyoustarted-event]

Final Works: Writing part 3

(link to stats and masterlist)

some works NSFW/18+; some text in summaries and tags will also be NSFW.

AO3 collection: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FinishWhatYouStarted2023 

That one memorable incident with the potato clock and the science museum by Ennael, LetoLeGaosaure

Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You - Fluff, Humor, Science - Rated G - "Rhyme really doesn't lose any time. Neku, on the other hand, does lose Rhyme. Joshua helps with one thing, but it could be argued that he seriously doesn't help overall. As usual."

Tastes Like Strawberry Cream by seles

NSFW - Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan - Hange Zoë/Reader - Fluff and Smut, Established Relationship, Wall Sex, Semi-Public Sex - Rated E - " "I need you," you blurted out, emphasizing the desire by sliding your foot alongside the inside of their leg. "We're in public, dear," Hange reminded you with wide eyes and red growing across their cheeks. "Hasn't stopped you before." Hange rolled their eyes playfully. Dismissively. "Isn't it your kink anyway?" Dropping your voice into a deep whisper, you purred, "Fuck me, Hange." "

Beware The Boes! by Ginneke

Tumblr post  - The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask - Link & Tatl (Legend of Zelda) - Mild Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Zinefic, Tatl POV, Playing with monster lore - Rated T "The only scary thing about Boes is not knowing when they're there. Right? Right. Tatl would like to think so… -- Written for the Faces of Evil zine, vol. 7: The Small."

To Catch the Wind by ForestWren

tumblr post - The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien - Background Fëanor Curufinwë/Nerdanel - Character Study - Rated G "In which Fëanáro begins to invent the Tengwar."

It's Just Like Falling Snow (I am Above You, and I Love You) by ForestWren

tumblr post - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Andor (TV) - Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso, Maarva Andor & Cassian Andor, Cassian Andor & His Various Friends and Family - Major Character Death (tagged as a warning), Found Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Afterlife - Rated G "Cassian dies. What comes next is far less lonely than he expects."

Let's be called 'Romeo and Juliet' by sasuhina_gal

Naruto - Hyuuga Hinata/Uchiha Sasuke - Modern Royalty, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Real Feelings - Rated T "It's the story that shook the country of Konoha. It stunned, it amazed, it made the king so incredibly happy. The Heiress of the Hyuuga Family and Second son of the Uchiha family had fallen in love! But it was just a trick to annoy their families. Isn't it?"

Who wouldn't want Hollows and Shinigami living in harmony? Right? by Mysticalbeingwithuntoldpowers

Tumblr post - Bleach (Anime & Manga) - Roka Paramia/Tessai Tsukabishi, Aizen Sousuke/Kurosaki Ichigo - Soul King Kurosaki Ichigo, Mystery, Established Relationship Ichigo/Sousuke, Politics - Rated G “Roka Paramia, ambassador for Queen Harribel, was determined to make her speech in front of Central a successful one, a lot depended on her. Unfortunately, even the best laid plan can't predict everything. How dare someone interrupted the most crucial moment of the peace talks with an anonymous laser beam to her face. And why did the King saddled her with an overprotective seven foot giant that was way too perceptive for her own good?”

Flowers from your Beloathed by Ginneke

tumblr post - The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Link/Revali - Pre-Calamity, Cultural Differences, Flower Language, Misunderstandings, Crack Treated Seriously, Very Mild Innuendo, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Injuries - Rated T "Revali starts finding flowers from an unwanted admirer — or the country’s most inept assassin. With Urbosa’s help, he’ll never figure out what’s going on. Meanwhile, Link is put in charge of figuring out exactly where the tokens | threats keep coming from…"

Hypotenuse by LetoLeGaosaure

NSFW - Lobotomy Corporation (Video Game) - Benjamin/Carmen (Lobotomy Corporation), Ayin/Benjamin/Carmen (Lobotomy Corporation) (two thirds of this are one-sided) - Friends With Benefits, Pining, One-Sided Relationship, Fluff, Platonic Cuddling, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sexual Roleplay, Roleplayed Polyamory, Anal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex - Rated E "Benjamin never thought he'd get close to Carmen like this. Well, of course everyone was friends with Carmen. But… this was… something else. And the most ironic part in all of this was that it was entirely Ayin's fault, and he was totally clueless. Of course."

Run to you by sasuhina_gal

NSFW, CW: Sibling Incest - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) - Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Todoroki Shouto, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Shinsou Hitoshi, Mentioned Enji/Keigo - Mutual Pining, One-Sided Attraction, suggested voyeurism, Aizawa and Shinso are brothers, Alternate Universe - College/University - Rated M "Touya and Shouta, roommates in college, share something in common, their love for their little brothers. They know they'll live in self-disgust, never expecting it to go anywhere, but they'll realise there's a reason their their brother's safe space."

(part 1)(part 2)

[ilove-hatethecw]

I am finally formulating thoughts about the andor show, so this is about to be very spoilery so probably don’t read on. Also I’m on mobile so I bet the formatting is fucked.

The show was amazing, obviously, well written, well acted, the designs were everything. But also it hit me and made me think in a way no other Star Wars media really has. Now that may be because I’m young, I was only 12 when Rogue One came out, and now revisiting it as an 18 year old I’m just hit by how well crafted these two pieces of media are. We know they’re doomed from the beginning, we know Cassian is dead when we start the show, and yet it’s the journey to get there that makes it worthwhile. Same with the rogue one crew, and while I have heard time and time again that it goes beyond Star Wars, Rogue One doesn’t work without Star Wars. It wouldn’t work if we didn’t know that these efforts weren’t for nothing. Watching a suicide mission would be ten times more unsatisfying if we didn’t know that what they did mattered. But it does, what Jyn and Cassian do MATTERS. And then you have the paradox of it standing apart from Star Wars by not wanting to just retell the same story of the Jedi and the Sith, but it doesn’t work without George Lucas and his movies. And that brings me to the fact that love is so important in this world, it is the catalyst for everything. Love is what doomed the republic, and yet love is what truly started the rebellion. Cinta and Vel, grappling with their love for each other versus their love for the cause. Maraca loving the people of Ferrix so much she encourages them to fight. Cassian loving people in general that even when he has a negative viewpoint on the world he can’t stop helping and fighting. His love for Maarva making him choose to take the Aldhani job, risking himself for a cause he believes in but doesn’t know he believes in yet. But even further back, his love for his sister leads to the events on Morlana. Even though in my opinion it was misguided and honestly a horrible act, Maarva’s choice to rescue Kassa was out of love for this child who she wanted to be safe, even if she didn’t know him, and definitely went about it the wrong way.

Overall, I think it’s telling that my two favorite pieces of media right now both are tragedies, and they aren’t shy about reminding you that they are tragedies. The story is still important to tell, the love and resistance. Hadestown is the other piece of media and the resemblance is striking. Cassian and Orpheus are so very different and yet they walk similar paths. We the audience know they are doomed, but the characters themselves do not. They are both catalysts for change, and yet they are motivated just by love. I am not very good at analyzing media I just had thoughts and I really need an edit of Cassian and Melshi to road to hell (reprise) because I think it would be amazing and yet it would make me cry. Also this show has dragged me back into Star Wars brain rot so apologies in advance

[colleybri]

Heart of Darkness

Luthen Rael is a character who continues to fascinate me. It’s easy to see him as somebody who is cold and ruthless, but that is only half the truth. Instead, I think he is somebody who has had to make a considerable effort to become cold and ruthless. That’s why his monologue is so powerful: a sacrifice involves the pain of giving up something. Note that he says “what do I sacrifice?” not “ what have I sacrificed?” Present tense. In other words, it’s an ongoing struggle – something he has to work at every single moment of every single day. Fighting the Empire is something he sees as necessary. To do that, he has to give up on his own humanity. And it’s a struggle. You can see how it has worn him down.

I love the scenes at the end of episodes 5 and 6, the former where he is stressed and concerned about the heist and the latter where he laughs in relief … that it has made the news . You see his vulnerability, his human side, you feel warmth for him despite soon realising that he is out to kill our protagonist. 

The question remains – what kind of influence is Luthen going to have over Cassian, Mon, Vel, Saw and the formation of the Rebel Alliance in S2? We know he is unlikely to survive the series. I hope he finds some kind of light in the sunless space that is his mind, even if it’s just some brief spark that ultimately spells the end for him. The first spark of the fire… recalling Maarva’s words for Cassian. There is a lot of speculation out there that Cassian will have to kill Luthen. If that does end up being the case, let’s at least hope it is a “good” death. As for Cassian himself … perhaps he will in turn become something more like Luthen over the next five years. He seems to be in a pretty dark place himself at the start of Rogue One. Or perhaps he will have some kind of spiritual healing influence over Luthen before the end in the same way that Jyn affects him. A reminder of why, in the end, the struggle is worth it.

Or not. But there is so much darkness in their stories – we cannot help but hope for a little genuine light. 

“Kindness. I think I miss it more than love. I have been so unkind. It’s all in a few days’ work. Threaten a baby to make the father fall in line. Wait for a man to come to his mother’s funeral in order to kill him. Blackmail, bribe, goad, lie. All necessary actions and ones I should be used to by now. All so very, very unkind. Yet I want the pain. The pain they cause. Pain makes people rise up and fight as much as anger goads the Empire to oppress them harder. I want the two brought together. A consummation, of a kind. War, if you want to call it that.”

The quote is from this rather dark internal monologue set at the end of season 1.

…

[annisthree]

Andor Wednesday #1, “Won’t You Let Us Wander” by angel_deux

Okay, here we go! As a reminder: this is a weekly series where we recommend Cassian-centred stories to one another. If you have any recommendations, let me know via comments or asks, and it will get featured in some of the future posts. Don’t be shy to self-promote :)

We’re starting off with one my favourites. It has everything: Rebelcaptain, angst, humour, it’s long as hell and beautifully written. What’s not to love?

Title: Won’t You Let Us Wander (series)

Author: angel_deux

Pairing: Jyn/Cassian, minor Chirrut/Baze

Other characters: Leia, Draven, Bodhi, Luke, Han, Mon Mothma

Words: 243,498

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/624404 (supposedly tumblr has issues with external links, so until I figure out an alternative, you’re just gonna have to copy-paste; sorry!)

Author’s tumblr: angel-deux-writes (the author doesn’t seem to be active anymore; also, this series isn’t posted on their tumblr)

Rating: Teen and up 

TW: Angst, torture, occasional discussion of suicide, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, discussion of grief/mourning

Description: The series is divided into 13 parts: that includes 6 main missions and 7 interludes. 

The author describes it as “continued misadventures of Rogue One”, and that summarises it pretty well: the plot is incredibly well-constructed and addictive, and the romance bit is *cheff’s kiss*. Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster, though. 

I remember reading the last mission and being absolutely unable to put the story down, there is sooooo much going on, both in terms of action and feelings. But  the angst is really well-balanced with some fluff and really good humour. 

I hope you enjoy the reading! Thank you for all of your recommendations - feel free to send more, either via comments or in my ask box.

And if you end up reading this story, let me know what you thought (+ remember to leave the author some love).

[mari-beau]

ANOTHER HUMAN - A Rogue One fanfiction

Written for Cassian Appreciation Week 2021 Day 6: Favorite Relationship

(I ship Cassian/Jyn rather hard, but I also enjoy K-2S0 and Cassian’s relationship, so here’s some Cassian/Jyn from K-2S0’s POV)

Title: Another Human

Characters: K-2S0 POV; Cassian Andor, Jyn Erso

Pairing: Cassian/Jyn

Setting: Post-Rogue One (canon divergent in which they live)

Words: 788

Summary: K-2S0 likes exactly one human, so being responsible for another is not something he’s happy about.

Spoilers: Rogue One

Warnings: Usual lack of editing, but otherwise, none? (I don’t think? Let me know if there is)

“Jyn, are you okay?” Cassian Andor knocked on the refresher door. The sound of Jyn Erso vomiting could be heard clearly.

“I told her not to eat that unnamed meat from the street vendor,” he muttered.

K-2S0 agreed that Jyn Erso made poor choices. It was difficult to keep her safe. And unfortunately, it was now one of K2S0’s primary imperatives since Cassian had reprogrammed him in his new droid body. He had informed K-2 that he had befriended Jyn as well, sacrificed himself to save both Cassian and the woman.

But K-2S0 didn’t remember doing those things. The last memory he had was Cassian backing up his programming on Yavin. And it had been exactly as K-2 had suspected. A suicide mission. But he was what constituted happy (for K-2) that Cassian had survived. K-2S0 was less pleased that another human had been consigned to his care.

“Are you sure that you don’t need medical attention?” Cassian asked. K-2 knew the many variations in his human’s facial expressions. This one was Worry.

“I’m fine,” Jyn called from behind the closed door. “Just something I ate.”

Did Captain Cassian Andor, rebel spy, actually believe her? Did he not know? K-2S0 scanned his friend’s face for microexpressions. The human was clueless. K-2 had thought Cassian was more intelligent than most organic beings. But he was not.

“The female cycle in humans is 30 standard days,” K-2 announced.

Cassian shot him a confused look before returning his attention to the closed door.

“Are you still throwing up?” Cassian asked.

“No. I think I’m-” Jyn’s words were cut off by more retching noises.

“Jyn Erso’s cycle averages 28.7 standard days.”

“What are you talking about, K-2?” Cassian glared at him.

“Her last complete hormonal cycle was 56 days ago.”

Cassian shook his head, dismissing the droid’s helpful information, still donning the expression of confusion. And worry as he stared at the door separating him from the woman.

Why was K-2S0 burdened with two beings as stupid as humans?

“You have impregnated Jyn Erso, Cassian.”

“What?!”

Well, K-2S0 had never logged that expression on Cassian’s face before.

The refresher door slid open to reveal Jyn standing there. She was exactly two shades paler than normal on the Fraca Scale. But her expression was a common one on her face. With a partial smile and relaxed features. But the tendons in her neck pointed to a tension at odds with her statement that she was fine.

“All better,” she added, the tone of her voice cheerful.

“Oh, good,” K-2 said. “Did you expel the offspring through your digestive tract? I did not think humans-”

“Shut up, Kay!” Cassian admonished. But his eyes never left Jyn’s face, which was now sporting an expression of confusion. Her heart rate was also increasing. Cassian’s voice was much softer when he spoke to her. Of course. He was always shouting at K-2S0 but it was all soft, hushed tones with Jyn Erso. Well, except for when they argued. But now, Cassian practically whispered, “You’re pregnant?”

Jyn Erso was no longer two shades paler than normal. She was turning quite pink. She nodded her head.

Cassian swore in his native tongue, ran a hand through his hair.

“I forgot my injection,” he said. “This is my fault.”

“No, it’s my fault. I forgot mine, too,” Jyn said. Her eyes were tracking Cassian, the various emotions playing across his face.

“Well, it’s not my fault. I did try to remind you both,” K-2 pointed out. But they had told him to shut up. That gun battles while fleeing a seedy cartel-controlled asteroid city were not the appropriate time for medical care reminders.

“Go check our course, now!” Both Cassian and Jyn barked at him.

K-2S0 sighed loudly and made his way to the cockpit. The humans’ excited voices filled the entire ship. He could detect no indicators that it was an argument, however. And when he glanced back into the hold, he found the pair of troublesome humans embracing. With hands. And bodies. And mouths. (Organics could be so repulsive).

A sigh escaped the droid again. The probability that they were keeping the offspring was high.

“I am not a Nurse Droid,” he announced loudly.

“Don’t worry, Kay.” Jyn’s voice was light, happy. “I bet Cassian could reprogram you.”

Cassian’s laughter followed. He was K-2S0’s friend. And the droid had to admit that since Jyn Erso had invaded their lives, his friend did laugh more. But weren’t two humans already more than enough responsibility for one droid?

K-2S0 was uncertain he had the capacity to take care of yet another human. But still, he began accessing what little data was stored in his memory circuits regarding human offspring.

[onthesandsofdreams]

Late Night Meals

Fandom: Rogue One Pairing: Cassian x Jyn Summary: What are you doing?" Cassian's voice startles her, almost making her drop the pot of pasta on the floor. Jyn doesn't turn, but continues towards to sink to drain the pasta. "Mac and cheese." She answers with as much aplomb as she can. "At three in the morning?" Words: 1105 Notes: Amor - Love Prompt(s): 15.- What are you doing? From @fictober-event

Read @ AO3

"What are you doing?"

Cassian's voice startles her, almost making her drop the pot of pasta on the floor. Jyn doesn't turn, but continues towards to sink to drain the pasta. "Mac and cheese." She answers with as much aplomb as she can.

"At three in the morning?"

Oh, she can hear Cassian's doubt in his voice. Say what you will about her and Cassian, but the connection they have is deep, and there are no secrets between them. How can they be, when one will find it by looking at the other's eyes or simply listening to the voice and the choice of words. "I found myself ravenous." She admits. "I am in a point of my book that is really making me think, and you know..."

"...That when you get in that state of mind, you get hungry, yes." Cassian's voice is full of amusement. "You could have woken me up."

She drains the pasta and turns back to finally face Cassian, she smiles. Cassian looks handsome all the time, but there is something beautiful about the way he looks when he's freshly out of bed, tousled hair and barely standing awake. "It's boxed mac and cheese," she says with a hint of amusement. "That is something that won't burn down the house. And thank you, by the way, for buying more powdered cheese. I don't know what it is, but this brand taste less cheesy lately."

Cassian chuckles, "Yeah, I've noticed too."

She smiles and returns to add milk and butter to the pot, then adds the drained macaroni onto it, adds the packet of cheese and then dumps more from the one Cassian had gotten. She knew that they had odd habits, with both of them being writers and Cassian being a bit of an insomniac, they always made sure to have their pantry well stocked with basics and stuff they could just grab and snack when they didn't feel like cooking. Or, like right now, it was an unholy hour of the morning and they were hungry.

She mixes everything and gives it a quick taste, still not cheesy enough. She adds more cheese and tastes again, this time, it's much better. "Want a plate?"

Cassian blinks, "You know, I'm already up. Why not?" He says and sits on the small kitchen table. Then quickly stands, "Hang on, do you want a soda or juice?"

"Juice please," she tells him.

Cassian returns with cranberry juice and two glasses, which he sets on the table. Then, grins, boyish and mischievous. "You know, amor, this reminds me when we were living in New York. Both overworked and underpaid junior editors who were barely making end's meet."

She snorts and places a his portion in front of him, sitting opposite to eat her own. "Yeah, I remember. You know, I recently heard from an old colleague, she rage quit her job because her boss refused to give her a raise and, I quote, 'Perhaps this is not the industry for you.'"

"Asshole." Cassian says and bites into the mac and cheese. She agrees. "I hope she finds another, better paying job."

"She's pretty much like us now, she went independent."

"Good for her."

She smiles. She and Cassian had been in the trenches together. They knew what her friend had gone through, for them, it had come to a head when their landlord had raised their rent and they realized that no, they could not continue living like they were. So, they had began to do their research and moved Portland together. Their work, both as writers and editors gave them a leg up when it came to share their expenses and have some emergency savings. Cassian was a wiz when it came to finances, thankfully. "Yeah, she's unsure if she'll stay in the city, but at least now she can charge a livable wage."

"True."

They did not speak more, they simply sat in silence and enjoyed their early meal. It is her who finishes first and waits for Cassian to finish, when he does, he lifts the plates. "Are you going to stay up longer, amor?"

"I am," she tells him as she stands. "I have plenty of ideas as to what to write, and I want to take advantage of it. You know how writing goes."

"I do. Just promise me you'll take a nap at some point."

"I will likely crash later today," she says with a laugh. "I have not been drinking coffee, only tea, water and juice. So, I'll likely end up falling asleep as soon as I finish what I have plotted already."

Cassian leans back against the sink and gives her a small, knowing smile. "Good, I think I'll read for a while."

Guilt washes over her, "Did I made you loose your sleep?"

"No. I woke up on my own, but perhaps having the food wasn't the best idea, now I'm fully awake and I'm pretty sure I'll be struggling to sleep if I went to bed right now... wait, do we still have the lavender and chamomile tea?"

She blinks, she had forgotten about that tea! "Yes we do. Do you want a cup?" The lavender and chamomile tea she had bought had been a desperate buy after struggling to sleep and whether it be placebo or not, she fell asleep quicker whenever she had a cup with honey. She hurried to the pantry and began searching, unfortunately, they were out. "Crap, we ran out. I'll put it on the grocery list."

"That's alright amor, I'll make myself a cup of warm milk."

She watched him as he moved in the kitchen, gathering what he needed for his own sleeping draught. She did not offer to make it herself, she always got the measurements wrong. Even if Cassian did them by eye and never followed a recipe, his food and drinks came perfect. She could cook and bake - living on her own had taught her that she had better have some good meals on her arsenal - but she was the kind of person who followed the recipe to the letter, else it could be tragic.

Cassian finishes making his drink, toasts her and blows on it. "I'll be going to bed, amor. Good luck with your writing."

Warmth spreads over her chest, God but she loves this man. "Thank you. Sweet dream my love."

Cassian smiles, rises his mug and makes his way back to their bedroom. She watches him go, and only then, she grabs another glass of juice and makes her way to her office. She has a book to conquer.

[fulcrumstardust]

writing tag game

thanks @andorerso <3

20 questions, writer’s edition:

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 17, which are solely SW fandom

What’s your total AO3 word count?

592 056 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Listen, I’m not gonna list all my fandoms because a girl needs a bit of mystery but here are some:

Harry Potter

Star Wars / Rogue One

Fullmetal Alchemist

Vampire Academy

Black Sails

(most of it is not online anymore, but it existed at some point.)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

war dogs

1653 days without luck

the girl with the stardust eyes

transient stars

bring me home

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least I try hard to, sometimes it takes me an embarrassing amount of time and sometimes I simply don't because /mental health issues/ but then I try to make it up on the next update. I think it’s nice to reply to people to let them know that I appreciate their support and without them I would stop updating, but also understand that sometimes I put all my energy into writing the update and there’s nothing left of me. It’s about mutual respect!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s actually unpublished, it’s a rebelcaptain fic that involves major character death when a rescue mission goes wrong and one of them sacrifices themselves to save the other. Very angsty indeed. Sometimes I just need to ugly cry, ok. I don’t know if I have the guts to put it out there.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

basically everything else, I guess ? I don’t know, 1653 days is pretty happy considering they’re married with a child and seeing the end of the war together, but is it proportional to the angst during the way ?

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I don’t think I ever will (unless it’s a crossover with my own OCs lol)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I remember getting some mean comments on a HP fic saying it was just badly written but I was 16, what did you expect my dude

I also get some nasty comments on a reylo fic from time to time that I just delete because I don’t have time for dipshits. It’s very rare though so /dabs/ (special mention when it starts with “I would love it BUT”, it’s ok babe, I love you too <3)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

When am I not writing smut is the better question. I love erotica, I love good one if you catch my drift. That’s actually what got me into fanfics because there’s no porn with a female gaze outside of fandom spaces. I love to write the kind of smut I think should be more out there, I’m on a personal vendetta against bad sex dynamics in mainstream media (and YA specifically but that's for another day). Killing patriarchy one orgasm at a time. It’s all about empowerment and a safe place to explore oneself.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I didn’t make it to that level of stardom lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, a couple with @halflingmerry and @briamarie38, it was awesome! It reminded me of my old days on RPG plateforms, I love the cooperation aspect. Lots of fun! I’m a slow writer so it takes the right kind of partner to work w/ me but I was lucky each time to have great co-authors to pull me through it. I’m looking forward to doing it again when I have some time.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Eh… Rebelcaptain, probably. They really have that thing I love.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

This one fic, Seelonce Mayday. Quick recap: Jyn is an Imperial hostage and convinces Cassian to get her out after they had a one-night stand while he was undercover. Once she’s free, Cassian goes on about his rebel spy life and they part ways. They stay in contact through all his missions and form a strong bond (comlink chatter only, hey see the title?) but she doesn’t tell him she’s pregnant until months later and it all kinda blows up in their face with bad timing. I talked about it before, it’s all about forming an attachment backward and developing a love that’s primarily familial… sort of “that’s my pack”, “I would die for you now even if we’re still strangers at the core” kind of shit. Anyway, first chapters still unpublished because I don’t know if I can write the whole thing but… it’s there. *sigh*

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and action scenes, I'd say.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions! Vocabulary, in-between scenes, sometimes I also struggle with balancing what I know and what the reader needs to know. I hate to spell things out but I can underexplain things, I think. I don’t know, you tell me if you’re a reader of mine! I always accept concrit.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love it, I’ve always done it one way or another. Being multilingual is a part of me that I tend to write into all my characters. I love coming across another language in fics but it has to feel organic and that’s a tricky thing to pull off. I prefer when there’s no translation, so either I look it up myself or I don’t (always assume the reader won’t), but if another character is going to translate then just don’t use another language, what’s the point. I think it works best if the reply lets you guess what was said, or if it’s something meaningful that comes back later.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It has to be Harry Potter, I think? Or maybe….. DBZ (hey, I said I won’t disclose my full legacy lol)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Noooooooo, that’s so hard! *sad noises*

At the moment, probably stardust eyes because I really love to feel my heart being ripped off my chest by all that angst (knowing full well how I will resolve everything in a big clash of emotions). And bc I love to write military settings in general, in case you're new here haha

Well, that was fun! Tossing the ball to @briamarie38 @halflingmerry @incognitajones @imsfire2 💌

[i-write-sometimes-blog]

Safe (Jyn Erso x Reader)

Request: Can you do a Jyn prompt? I just watched Rogue One and now I’m just sad lol. Like where Jyn and Andor are about to die on Scarif but the reader swoops in to save them just in time before they get obliterated. Now that Jyn gets to see R again, she finally admits her feelings? Thanks, I hope this isn’t too much

Word count: 1,174

A/N: First of all, sorry for the delay, I've been really busy but I finally had the time to write this! Second, I'm a little out of practice so I just hope you like it even if it's a little bad. Have a great day/night!

The battle had already started when you arrived at the tropical planet. Flying through the small islands you could see the rebels running around the beach of Scarif and the big AT-AT walkers getting dangerously close to them but the X-wing arrived just in time to take it down. Such a beautiful landscape for a battle.

The Rebel fleet was ready to attack the Empire on this unexpected mission, ready to do whatever it’d take to get the plans of the superweapon. All of this because of a stubborn girl, all because of Jyn. She was the reason the rebellion was here and was also the main reason you were here, to make sure she wouldn’t get herself killed.

Your mission was to bring in reinforcements to the rebels battling on the beach, however, you were more worried about Jyn. You wanted to find her somehow and make sure she was alright, but as much as you looked around the Imperial base and all the chaos of AT-AT walkers and X-wings you couldn't find her anywhere.

Holding tight to the helm of the U-wing ship you forced yourself to believe that the most probable thing was that she was inside the tall building in the center of the small islands. You just hoped she was alright.

“Where are you, Jyn?” you mumbled to yourself scanning the place one more time only to find out there were too many enemy soldiers. The rebellion was beginning to get out numbered.

And then you finally spotted Jyn.

Jyn and Cassian were leaving the big tower, just as you thought. Your body filled with relief when you saw her, she seemed hurt and exhausted but alive.

The bright smile that started to form on your lips faded away as soon as your eyes met the big explosion rising in the horizon and that was expanding fast, very, very fast. You had to get out of there now, you had to save Jyn.

Punching the gas you hit to go on her rescue

“Come on!” you yelled when you were close to Jyn and Andor that were sitting on the sand, they had surely accepted defeat and were waiting for their death so they were very surprised when they saw your ship.

The escape was a moment of confusion, everything seemed so rushed from the moment they boarded the ship to the very end. Holding your breath with a mix between the anxiety of getting out of there and the hope of surviving this you speeded the ship towards the stars and rushed to make the jump into hyperspace.

There was a moment of silence and peace once you were in the quiet but known safe tunnel of hyperspace.

Sighing, you finally left the cockpit to go and check on your passengers. You knew Cassian needed some medical attention and you were dying to see Jyn, all of those hours without her felt like an eternity, not to mention the fear of almost losing her back in Scarif. You wanted to hold her close to you and never, ever let her go again.

“Jyn” you rushed to say as soon as you arrived at the back of the ship. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” you asked her, pulling her into your embrace, close to your heart just to make sure she was real and not an illusion.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she spoke for the first time since, her voice as delicate as always. “I did it, I sent the plans to the Rebellion, we can end this now.” she told you with a smile, a small tear forming on her eyes.

Cassian came close, murmuring something to Jyn, you barely heard him whispering a “Tell her.”

“Tell me what?” you asked confused. Cassian’s eyes traveled from Jyn to you and the back at Jyn one last time before excusing himself.

“I’m going to report to base so they know we’re coming.” he said before he walked over to the cockpit leaving you and Jyn alone.

You turned your eyes back to Jyn with a questioning glance.

Jyn stayed silent for a moment, unsure of how to start, how to tell you this important thing she had waited a long time to say.

She had just infiltrated a maximum security imperial base, stole the plans of the superweapon with enough power to destroy planets and successfully sent it to the Rebellion but she didn't know how to admit her feelings for you. But having you right there in front of her reminded her just how much you meant to her and after being so close to dying she couldn't wait anymore. Cassian was right, Jyn needed to tell you she was in love with you.

"I…" she started, finally pushing all her doubts aside. "Thank you, Y/N, for saving us." You nodded as she continued "I thought I was going to die at the beach and I accepted it but when I was down there in Scarif, when I thought it was the end the only thing I could think about was you." She said, holding your hands, meaning every single word that made your heart melt.

"Jyn…"

"I love you, Y/N." She confessed looking right into your eyes, not a single sign of fear in her green eyes but pure love made them shimmer. "I should have told you this a long time ago and not wait until an explosion almost ended me."

A big smile formed over your face, you almost lost the love of your life, the only person you had ever loved and now she just told you those three little words you always wished to hear from her lips.

You pulled her even closer gently, trying not to hurt her already injured body and pressed a soft kiss on her lips. A kiss full of meaning, a kiss full of love finally confessed. A kiss that meant a new beginning with Jyn by your side.

"And I love you, Jyn." You murmured against her lips once the kiss was over. "I always have."

Then you just stayed like that for a few minutes, holding each other close while you looked into one another's eyes, there was no need for words anymore, all was said and now you could only enjoy the moment of finally having her.

"I wouldn't mind a bit of help over here" suddenly Cassian's voice broke the trance you were in. Turning around you found him looking over the pilot seat, a playful smile on his face. "I really could use a copilot, I think my ribs are broken." He said and you couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'll be there in a second." You told him. But before leaving Jyn's side you leaned in to give her one last kiss. Then you rushed to help Cassian.

Jyn watched you disappear into the cockpit with a smile curving her lips. This mission had taken everything away from her, everything except you, her savior, her Y/N. Her reason to fight.

Tagging: @natasha-danvers

(In case you want to be tagged for specific things or everything I write, just let me know)

[cjstalkingstarwarsagain]

hi! i’ve recently decided to rewatch all the star wars movies and take notes on them and then,,, share them with you. so if you’re even mildly interested in my star wars opinions, here you go :)

i’ll divide it into a couple categories so,,,

well start with rogue one!!

shit that made me giggle

"oh look, here’s lyra back from the dead. it’s a miracle."

everything K2 says and does. i love him and he’s perfect.

i love the continuous attempts by K2 to appear imperial and how he fails every time. not a single storm trooper or officer ever believes him when he starts running his mouth.

so sorry but bohdi getting his cable caught and trying to shake it loose is such an adorably human moment. makes me giggle every time.

i honestly thought this section would be longer, this movie made me laugh a bunch. 

stuff i don’t like or doesn’t make sense

why does jyn start believing in the rebellion? there’s no indication that she cared before they found her. there’s no real turning point that we can see. she just,,, suddenly is really into this shit. which is strange because the only reason she ever joined was because she was given a non-choice (either help or get put back in prison). i guess i can kinda see how her father dying could have changed her, but we see none of that on the ship after his death. we just get to the rebel council and all of a sudden she’s the poster girl for rebellion.

saw seems really stable at the beginning of the film, so why did he go seemingly crazy and paranoid? it’s probably explained in the novelization but that’s no excuse to just have a character go crazy with really no explanation or backstory.

that being said, a lot of the character development is pretty lacking. i don’t think i’d care about these characters nearly as much if i wasn’t already a star wars fan.

video game cut scene style general tarkin

bor gullet is supposed to make you lose your mind but bohdi was pretty much fine after like,,, a day

how does the death star,,,, move?? like i know it can but has that ever been explained? is it like little thrusters? like the ones you can see in real life to stabilize things in space? there’s nothing i can visually see. i’m not mad about it i just wanna know.

why does saw insist on staying behind? why doesn’t he come and help?? it would have been so easy to just leave but he insists on staying behind and just watching as death inches closer. i think it doesn’t make sense because we know *so little* about his character. give me more on him, make me understand.

since james earl jones is getting older, vader sounds older. was there??? nothing the audio or editing department could have done about that??? not super mad about this one just because darth vader is really cool and i’ll never really complain too much about darth vader screen time.

when the fuck did jyn become a motivational speaker??

my one gripe about pretty much every star wars movie is the sheer number of times people climb through huge shafts and jump around and shit and they’re always *fine*. no way they wouldn’t fall to their deaths in any normal situations.

can someone?? check the science of the hammerhead corvette?? because there’s no gravity or weight in space right?? theoretically all you gotta do is give that star destroyer a bump and it’s spinning out, right?? i know absolutely nothing about space physics but i gotta be right. maybe i’m wrong. i dunno. i’m dumb as rocks. hear that baby girl?? it’s the spare change rattling around in my skull. i got pennies where my brain is.

absolutely no fucking shot cassian survived a blaster hit AND that fall AND climbed out. my belief simply cannot be suspended that much.

DUDE I FORGOT THAT THE DEATH STAR CAN TRAVEL THROUGH HYPERSPACE HOW DOES WORK SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!!

why doesn’t vader just,,, force grab the plans. i know he sees them. why not just force stop the guy running away with them??

final note now that the movie is over. yes, it’s got a lot of issues. the plot is ehhh at times. the trailers don’t match up with the movie shots AT ALL (i wanna know what happened behind the scenes with that). the character development is lacking in many major ways (that has not stopped me from loving these characters though, but that’s the autism talking). but like i’ll say in the "stuff i liked" section, this is such a damn cool movie. i was once talking about it with an older friend of mine and he said seeing rogue one in theaters felt like watching the original trilogy in theaters back in the 70s and 80s and honestly that’s such a compliment. i love this movie, i really do.

just cool shit,,, you know the vibe

DEATH TROOPERS

krennic is probably one of my favorite imperial officers. for some reason he just really sells it for me, the evil and manipulation that borderlines in try hard. and (i mention it more later because you see it more in the "choke on your aspirations" scene) beyond that just the fact that he’s?? a guy. just a dude. at any given moment he could be described as just hanging out. but he’s trying so hard (for whatever reason, we don’t know his evil motivations) to be this big bad evil dude. and it’s just interesting to see someone *trying* to be imperial and *trying* to be evil, as opposed to a tarkin-type character who’s just naturally an asshole.

i love the rogue one main theme. don’t even talk to me. it’s so cool.

it’s cool to see more about the birth of the death star, seeing other people learn about it. sort of realizing the fear and terror that everyone must have been experiencing. especially after being a star wars fan for so long and being like, yeah it’s the death star it’s just a staple of this universe. it reminds me that "oh god this was a planet killer and this was the first time something like that had ever even been heard of".

there’s gorgeous visuals in this movie.

i like the "i’m wanted in 12 systems" guy cameo (did you know his name is cornelius? i googled it)

when the storm trooper asks for papers?? like fuck yeah show me what life is like under imperial rule. give me that shit.

chirrut is so badass i’ll never get over it

"i’m one with the force and the force is with me" i’m eating that shit UP! salivating over the meal in front of me. i really want more exploration of the guardians and jedi worship in general. like gimme that weird funky space religion.

seeing an at-st just walk around a town. i dunno i like that shit.

K2 saying sorry for hitting cassian. i’m so soft on this robot.

"clear of hostiles,,,, ONE HOSTILE"

jyn stepping in front of K2 to protect him after she (not ten minutes ago) made the comment “i’m just afraid they’ll miss you and hit me”. jyn,,, your soft side is showing,,,,

i like the cool machine blaster that baze has. it’s awesome seeing different blaster styles when originally the only variation we really saw was chewie’s cross bow style blaster.

i really wanna see more of baze and cirruit. i wanna know what happened that made baze stop believing. i wanna know how they met. i wanna see them evolve and grow together.

i like that jyn argues that 16 is too young to be a solider (she’s 21 in the movie). i like that she’s mad that she’s young and has been put in a position to protect herself and then later save the galaxy. (for context: luke and leia were 19 in a new hope. anakin is 19 in attack of the clones, ~22 when he became darth vader, and rey is 19 in force awakens. stop putting the fate of the galaxy in the hands of people who are *barely* adults)

the testing of the death star is awesome. love seeing wicked cool space weapons. when it blocks out the sun? ominous as hell fuck yeah.

it’s interesting that baze says cassian doesn’t look like a killer, that "he has the face of a friend", when one of the first things we saw him do was kill a man. i think about that a lot. does that say more about baze’s ability to read people or does it say more about who cassian is deep down, beyond what he’s done to serve the rebellion?

cassian’s relationship with death and killing is very interesting. you could argue that cassian is just as brainwashed and deep in the rebellion as anyone imperial. i really hope it’s something that gets explored in his stand alone show. he mentions he’s lost everything and has been a rebel since he was 6. gimme cassian andor backstory.

"careful not to choke on your aspirations director" is probably some of the most dramatic-anakin-skywalker shit i’ve ever seen vader do

i like seeing rebel infighting. so often it seems there’s always general consensus about what the rebellion wants, but it’s good to see that they don’t always agree on how to rebel.

i love the consistent "found family" rebel alliance shit in these movies. it makes my dick so hard.

ARTOO AND THREEPIO CAMEO FUCK ME UP THOSE ARE MY BOYS

okay i totally get that the empire is evil, i really do, but rogue one (and lots of moments in the sequels) really reminds me how fucking cool some of their shit is. like death troopers? imperial droids like K2? the base on scarif? vader’s castle on mustafar and his bacta tank?? fuck me UP.

i loved hearing the troopers doing their dumb small talk about the T-15s on the beach.

i think ben mendelssohn is perfect for the role of krennic, no notes there. he’s just like?? a guy and he’s doing everything he can to fit into this evil role and he just wants to be like this big bad imperial boy on campus. i don’t know. i don’t have the words right now to express how fuckin awesome he is. i’ll write an essay about it later.

THE AT-AT COMING OUT OF THE MIST?? CHRIST ON A BIKE. LAY ME TO REST. LOVE IT.

fucking love me some female fighter pilots. the women of star wars are so badass. doing justice to my return of the jedi ladies.

i think a whole lot about jyn giving K2 a blaster. the way he takes it and looks at it and holds it so gently. i think that’s the first time a human has trusted him with a blaster since his reprogramming. he seems so appreciative of that trust.

i love seeing the faces of baze and the other rebels when a few of the x-wings show up and take down an at-at. i’m so very soft for the relationship between these rebels. not to be cliche, but the *hope* that they have. it’s so moving. this movie is just so full of that quintessential rebel feeling.

hey so i’m super emotional about the death of K2 okay? because in the novelizations you learn that in the last second k2 had before a full shut down, he ran a simulation where cassian lived and even though he knew it was impossible, it made him happy. FURTHERMORE K2 is very well known and his name is often listed along side jyn’s in terms of talking about the history of the rebellion.

chirrut and baze’s deaths are so important to me. we know they’re best friends, and even though we don’t know how long they’ve been together, they love each other so deeply. chirrut being the path for baze to return to the force? touching. i so wish these dumb force husbands could have had more screen time. baze calling chirrut back?? chirrut telling him to find him in the force?? baze looking to see the man he loves one more time before he dies??reminds me of the silken quote about dying in your best friends arms because it’s all you know. anywho,,, if star wars canon has any mercy then these two lovers are force ghosts together rn. don’t care how you feel or whether you "ship" them or not. love comes in so many forms and they encompass all that love.

terribly sorry but i think about those two star destroyers colliding with the rogue one main theme playing over it every day. it’s,,,,, so,,,, ( ´∀｀)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again BEN MENDELSSOHN??? UH YEAH

krennic watching his weapon (his beautiful, successful weapon) power up and kill him,,, the poetic justice of it all,,,,

any time anyone says "may the force be with you" i dunno maybe it’s my religious trauma but i’m head over heels for that good shit

the star destroyer coming out of hyper space as the rebels are escaping and some of the ships hit the destroyer?? one of my favorite things in the new star wars movies is directors and writers saying "oh this can totally happen" and they DO IT

jyn mentioning earlier in the film that she isn’t used to people sticking around when shit hits the fan and then dying in the arms of cassian?? because he stayed?? and for the first time she has someone??

in that same vein: cassian also says earlier in the film that he lost everything too. his connection with jyn is also important to him, just as important as it is to jyn. they need each other. i can’t remember who on this hellsite said it, but someone mentioned that they hope the stand alone cassian stuff coming out doesn’t make him this swindling playboy who fucks around a bunch. i think having him as more of like?? a mandolorian type character would be really cool. like he’s a rebel assassin: make him one. make him independent and badass and cool and DONT give him a bunch of romantic or sexual interests because then that downplays the clear love he had developing for jyn. again LOVE COMES IN FORMS BEYOND BASIC SHIPS. and there’s a lot of love in star wars.

i’ve said it a million times but vader is so cool and over and over again this movie reminded me that he’s actually so scary. i saw star wars for the first time when i was 6 and i can’t remember my initial reaction to him, but i’ve definitely (like with the death star) been desensitized to the fact that if i was in star wars, darth vader would scare the shit out of me. he’s *scary* and that’s cool. i liked seeing vader effortlessly go fucking mad on these rebels. then you understand why they were so scared in that first scene of a new hope.

no i absolutely will not get over the vader scene. i won’t. his saber turning on. his force abilities. his effortless lightsaber work. the choral music over the scene with the hectic orchestra. don’t touch me i’m emotional.

i loved seeing leia. it touches me so deeply every time.

fuck i love this movie despite all its faults.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you!! i hope you enjoyed. please remember that this is totally a safe space for all star wars opinions and you can feel free to disagree with me! i’d love to hear what some of you thought :))

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Best and Worst Star Wars movie, go!

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion so much as an unusual one, because I don't have that many hot takes for this fandom apart from being a major fan of Last Jedi and staunch defender of Rose Tico. I also tend to like Return of The Jedi more than most people. One more thing is that, while Phantom Menace is heavily flawed and low on my list, I can still enjoy it. Qui-Gon is far and away my favorite Jedi, I had no issue with Child-Anakin or the midichlorians, and Darth Maul is one of the coolest villains I've ever seen. Phantom Menace isn't a good movie, but it isn't my least favorite, and Jar Jar Binks isn't even my least favorite character. 

...That's because Attack of The Clones is, for one reason and one reason alone. My actual least favorite character - Teenage Anakin.  He mellows out and becomes much more likeable in Revenge of The Sith...but holy heck. When he's not being beyond creepy toward Padme or obnoxious with Obi Wan...he's being so aggressive and violent that it's a wonder he hasn't been expelled from the Order already. The slaughter of the sandpeople is still unthinkable to me. He committed genocide, was not sorry, and suffered no consequences. How is he not, like, already on the Dark Side after that? Why is Padme still into him after that? Also, as much as I love Christopher Lee and the idea behind Count Dooku's character...he just kinda falls flat for me as a villain. Darth Maul is a tough act to follow. Now that being said, I loved watching Obi Wan. (He's my favorite Star Wars character, by the way) seeing him tracking Jango Fett and uncovering the mystery of the clones...that was awesome! Kamino is such a lovely and yet eerie location. In short, this movie really strained my affection for Anakin and my investment in his relationships (Obi Wan, Padme, etc.) 

But my favorite Star Wars movie of all time? Rogue One. That's another take that probably isn't controversial, but I doubt most people would agree. I can't explain how much I love this movie. The biggest complaint I've seen is that the characters aren't fleshed out enough, but I can't think of a single one who fell flat for me - and characters are usually what makes or breaks a story for me. Jyn Erso's tale is compelling and relevant with everything that's going on. "It's not a problem if you don't look up." Should cut us all to our core. Cassian immediately cements himself as good, but ruthless, and I love seeing that side of the Rebellion. Chirrut and Baze's friendship is one of my favorite relationships across this entire universe. Reminded me of Han and Chewie. Bodhi is so beyond relatable, and K2SO makes me crack up every time. I like how Krennic isn't a total badass, but gets shown up by his superiors. It gives him dimension. Rogue One is the story about the heroes who don't get medals. It felt more like a war movie than most of the other films, and I usually don’t like war movies. It made me actually scared of The Death Star, which is quite feat considering how much the concept has been recycled. Oh, and I'd be remiss not to mention how well Vader was handled. #HallwayScene.