#you know what kim is doing it too gotta give credit where its due her stylists are always on 10

[mangosimoothie]

as per usual the gworls (black women and gays) are eating

[ephemeral-writings]

Everything I Need // 02

oh sehun x reader

genre: angst

word count: 1.7k

Everything I Need // oh sehun teaches you a thing or two about life. but falling for the boy who lived across from you was not what you had anticipated. 

Part 01 / Part 02 / Part 03 / Part 04 / Part 05

.

TL @snowflakesandkisses 

You woke up at ten the next morning, stomach empty and begging to be filled. Your last meal was a protein bar and extra leftover fries from your co-worker, it was no wonder you were starving. Your mother would surely frown upon the poor excuse of a meal that was a bar and a bag of chips from the school’s vending machine.

It wasn’t too cold out, but you grabbed a jacket on your way out anyways. Down the street, at the corner of an intersection, was a cheap diner that you frequented, especially when you’ve yet to restock on groceries. What your mom never told you was how expensive it could be to fill the cupboards and fridge with food.

You ordered your usual, a sausage omelette with a hefty side of potatoes because you loved potatoes like it was your lover. As much as you ate at the diner, you hated being outside in general. As you played with your phone, you tried your best to ignore the gnawing loneliness that crept up. You drowned out the sounds of chatter as people of all ages shared a meal together, and you were mostly successful with food to distract you, but then they walked in.

The group was the same age as you, and you knew that because one out of three of them was your classmate. You prayed a silent prayer that they wouldn’t notice you. Kim Jongdae was a social butterfly, and despite you being anything but, he had never failed to flash you a smile and gave you a simple greeting whenever you bumped into each other.

“Oh, hey, Y/N,” Jongdae chirped as his friends walked by to sit in the booth behind you.

“Morning, Jongdae.” You hoped there wasn’t a piece of potato skin stuck in your teeth. Jongdae was a pretty good looking guy, just not your type and you most certainly weren’t his. He asked you about the paper that was due in two weeks time, whether you had started working on it or not, and of course you did. There wasn’t much in your life besides work to distract you.

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Jongdae rejoined his friends. You overheard one of them ask, “Who was that?”

“She’s in my econ class, we did a project together a while back.”

“Oh.”  

They quickly dropped the subject, and you stopped listening.

Your phone stopped being entertaining when you’ve gone through your e-mails(mostly spam and school related). You never understood how people could stare at their devices for hours on end, two hours was enough to give you a headache. It was twelve by the time you left the diner. On the way back, you stopped by a market and picked up some essentials. You needed at least some source of food before re-stocking with your next paycheck which was due by the end of the next week. Eggs, bread, milk, ramyeon, and a new box of cereal would be more than enough to feed one girl.

You walked back to the apartment with all the items stuffed in one bag, except for the carton of eggs which you held. You decided to stop by the mailroom to check if you had any, which you did. Spam mails from your bank, credit cards ads, and a letter addressed from a correctional facility.

“Hey.”

You snapped your head in the direction of the voice calling your name. Sehun, standing a few feet away, was looking at you with a questioning look.

“You okay?”

You looked at him and back to the letter in your egg carton-free hand. What the hell was it even doing in your mailbox?

You nodded even though you could feel the blood draining from your face. “I’m fine. I gotta go, I’ll see you around. Bye.”

To say Sehun was surprised by how abruptly you had left would be an understatement. Your face had looked pale, but more than that, your hands were shaking as you locked up your mailbox.

As soon as you were in your apartment, you ripped open the envelope. The letter was creased and torn on a few edges  and the writing wasn’t in any better condition. It had, after all, traveled all the way from a penitentiary miles and miles from here.

The day before your high school graduation, your father was incriminated for fraud. Unbeknownst to you and your mother, he had gambled away everything your family owned, including any little money left that was keeping your mother on chemo. In the end, the cancer wasn’t what killed your mother but your father, and for that, you never forgave him. After the funeral and sentencing, you packed everything you could carry and walked out of the empty home. So your father, whom you’ve lost contact with for three years now, how did he find out where’d you lived?

You thought you’d never be faced with the man who was the cause of all your sufferings, but somehow he’s managed to creep back in your life in the form of a letter. Like hell you were going to allow anything further than that. The letter tells you that he was sorry for his mistakes, that he’s repented, and wishes for nothing more than to make things right. His mistakes? They costed your mother’s life. Him realizing his mistakes now wasn’t going to bring her back. Repentment? According to the police, your father had been falsifying fake documents in order to cheat money from the government since before you were born. That was twenty plus years of coming clean of his sins, but of course he’s finally had time to reflect after being caught.

You heaved a few deep breaths, realizing the constriction in your chest. You tear the paper into shreds, until the words were no longer decipherable, much like the father figure in your life.

You brushed whatever tears that unwillingly escaped, and quietly prepared for work.

If it was one thing you could count on, it was work being the worst distraction possible. A bad start to the day just makes the shift that much harder to get through. Your boss lectures you for not properly garnishing dishes, in the middle of a goddamn dinner rush, and you accidentally burn your hand with hot soup in the middle of it all. Just the cherry on top of it all, a man then yells at you for not giving him his food before another table’s when his order came in one minute after.

“Sir, we are working on your order right now. It should be done in any moment.” You try to stay as calm as you possibly can, and placate the angry man. “Why don’t I go check on it, okay?”

Everything was apparently not okay when he hollers back, “Are you even doing your job right?”

Chanyeol, the other server tonight, meets you in the kitchen and murmured under his breath, “You want me to handle it?” You shook your head, willing the hot tears away, but your face was no doubt burning red.

“I’m fine. I got this,” you flashed smile in thanks, but he still looks at you, unsure, as you turn on your heels and head towards the table with the man’s order in your hand. Everyone, and literally everyone, watched as you present it to the man and he all but acknowledges you. Instead, he shot up from his seat, muttering to his wife to stand as well, and promptly stomped out of the restaurant.

To think that was the most that could go wrong. Your boss proceeded to blame you for your lack of competence for not bringing the food to the angry man first, “Because their table only had two orders! You could’ve finished that table’s order before starting on the bigger table! Use your brain, Y/N!”  

You bit your tongue so hard that you broke off a tiny piece, and all you could think of while going through that second round of verbal abuse was how you might possibly choke on your own blood.

You finished off your shift with little encouragements from your co-workers, but other than that, you were ready to go home and sleep until the next ice age.

--

The next day, on Friday, you didn’t have class or work, so you decided to head to the police station. Last night you barely slept a wink. Even though the letter had been physically rid of, you couldn’t ignore the unsettling feeling in your stomach. How easily it had manage to find its way into your mailbox, it scared you half to death to imagine the man himself showing up on your doorsteps unannounced.

The bus ride took half an hour, with morning traffic, before you finally arrived with questions prepared in your head.

Despite your father being a convict, it was your first time stepping foot in a police station. On the bus there, you imagined it to be hectic, dangerous even, but all you were greeted with was a bunch of middle-aged men and two women sitting in front of computers, some looking like they haven’t slept in days. There’s a man in one of the cells behind the cubicles, snoring loudly, which explains the annoyed looks on the officers’ faces.

“Good morning,” you greeted a man at what you think is the front desk.

He’s not one of the ones who looks tired, but his movements are sluggish as he looked up from his computer screen to see who was the random girl so early in the morning. “Morning. Can I help you with something?���

“Yes, I have a question.” You took a moment to find the proper words to ask, “Would you know if it is possible to rejected letters from someone in prison?”

The man peered curiously at you, and asked, “Is there someone harassing you, miss?” You shook your head without elaborating. The officer noticed that, so he went on. “Well, I’m going to assume that the inmate is your immediate family. They don’t send letters out unless the content’s been approved of, and sense no danger in forwarding the message.”

“So, if I can request for the letters to not send, may I?”

He nodded. “You would have to contact the facility directly, and handle it from there, miss.”

You gathered as much from that that your father doesn’t actually know where you live. Now all you had to do was make sure it stayed that way.

[sweetlifetownsville]

Memo Mayor Mullet: Being Seen Through Is Not Transparency. The TCC Culture Of Secrecy Continues Apace.

Meetings behind closed doors to commit an undisclosed amount of ratepayer money to a vague notion of (yet again) attracting an international airline, and just what is the deal with that City Deal now, has it all been scuttled? The scurrying and squeaking behind the political skirting boards is getting more frantic. Think were being taken for a ride at the ballot box? youd be right, with the system revamped to hoodwink the majority of voters. But The Pie to the rescue with an explainer. The Pie spots some glib sayings during the week, which are simply wrong, wrong and wrong. Also, an unexpected moment of clarity from our council, .while off-shore, our regular weekly visit to the Trumpistan gallery. But first The Campaign Caravanserai Grinds On Across The Landscape, Stirring Up Apathy all Around There has been enough said elsewhere about the triviality of the weeks campaigning, and the totally unedifying leaders debates, which have offered about as much probative value as that smugly orchestrated outrage on Q&A. Candidates from both sides are dropping like flies, all caught out by some ancient un-PC social media posts, giving the finger waggers a field day. Makes you wonder who does the background checks for the parties and what it says about their social media competence to begin with. Our resident toonist Bentley is still sceptical of many issues from both sides, but one in particular he thinks is utter tosh.

Why is this even an issue in this election? Actually, come to think of it, its not, just a wish list distraction. But our bright spark wannabee PM has the right power connections, when it comes to other sensitive issues, like his franking credits swoop on super funds. The very best advice is on hand for him, 24/7.

This is a campaign is search of a universal issue, a cross-generational punch-up starter. As it stands at the moment, the rampant glad-handing emptiness underlines the rampant disenchantment with big party politics The Pie is tipping a balance-of-power parliament. Fear And Loathing At The Ballot Box So youve listened to the pleadings, wheedlings and horror stories until your ears bleed, made what sense you can of it all (or simply believed whichever fairy tale you want), and now you stand in the pre-polling booth, wanting to get your duty over and done with, clutching two ballot papers roughly the length of War And Peace (more characters, but less plot). Youre ready to make your mark for your choice of who you want to lead this country. Or are you? The House of Reps seems to be a doddle

Hmmm, seems relatively straightforward. Licking the pencil with a tentative tongue, you number the boxes, starting with 1 for your first choice, and then number on down in gradients of disgust until all boxes are filled, from most wanted to least wanted. Whew, not so hard after all. Now lets just knock off the Senate vote and head to the pub. As you unfold the Senate ballot paper, you think back to the puzzling advice from the polling officer Please watch your language sir, there are children around. Then you open it.

WHOAAAA!!! WTF, YOU MUST BE FKING KIDDING!! But wait, theres more

Welcome to our loopy democracy at work. But hang on, it seems simple enough, if you vote above the line you just number at least 6 boxes, your first choice being number 1). But if you vote below the line, you must number at least 12 boxes, with the same priority of choice. Note the at least, as though that 12 isnt enough. But no, you can spend a merry hour or two and number the whole lot if you want, you old academic, you. But Heres The Thing A Trap For The Unwary HOWEVER, what you do not do with your senate vote is replicate the voting preferences as you did with the Lower House, where your enter your descending order of disdain. In the Senate, you vote 1 to 6 above the line, or 1 to 12 if below the line,for the candidates you most want to see in the Senate. Its like naming a team you want to take the field for you. Because if you vote further down for a candidates you least want, YOU ARE ACTUALLY CASTING A VOTE FOR THEM. So wonder no more why we end up with fruit loops like Malcolm Roberts and Fraser Anning et al having the power to block laws decided by the peoples place, the House of Reps. Researching all this, The Pie was particularly taken with the practice sample provided on line by the AEC: he wonders if the imaginary names given arent actually pretty good description of the real parties in this election. You choose whos who.

In Passing Couple of polar opposites in names way down the list in the Senate paper caught The Magpies eye.

Bravehearts founder and champion of child protection Hetty Johnston is having another tilt at public office, numerous previous attempts being unsuccessful. The Pie has met Ms Johnston on several occasions when he was taking Ruperts shilling, and was impressed with her sincerity, compassion and commitment to her cause. And oh what might have been Hettys most recent foray into the political arena was in 2015, when she ran for mayor of Logan City, but had to withdraw to care for her elderly mother. Oh, just think what heartache and public expense might have been avoided had she won. But then (sigh) as they say, if my aunty had balls, she wouldve been my uncle. And at the other end of the zealots stable we find one Kim Vuga, of the Love Australia Or Leave Party. On all evidence, Ms Vuga, a simplistic vulgarian which, as her party name suggests, campaigns on issues based on racism, packaged up as bogan-style patriotism, but is actually an attack on free speech; she is from the Malcolm Roberts School of foam flecked shouty single issue nuisances. But accidents happen and Roberts undeservedly actually did fall into a Senate spot before being turfed out on grounds of nationality he was found to be a Martian. But you can bet a vote for Ms Vuga will be a vote for an old BBF of hers.

All of which is just one small example of the fruit salad of candidates from which we can choose to govern us. A T-Shirt For The Times

Our mates at the wonderful piss-taking publication the Betoota Advocate reckon the ladies of their local CWA have created the ideal T-shirt for this election campaign and no argument from The Pie about that.

And one Magpie reader has come up with a re-cycling idea which is sure to make hasten the associated activity.

WRONG WRONG WRONG Adani continues to be an on-again-off-again issue in the Federal election, and the heat generated could a handy power source in itself. It also had a variety of people trotting out some banal and incorrect analogies. And the first to get it wrong was this bloke in the Astonisher story. Queensland Resources Council chief executive Ian Macfarlane urged the Government to get on with approving the $60 billion in resources projects in the approvals pipeline.Its great to celebrate the investment secured over the last four years, but no one won a race running backwards, he said. Well, Ian, matey, thats just plain wrong, and will come as a big surprise to this bloke.

Then the Adani issue grew from a thorn to a big rusty nail in the side of The Tool, who has been ducking and weaving on the Carmichael Mine issue because of the confusion in the Short Uns camp about the correct line. From the Astonisher again. Ms OToole re-affirmed Labor had no plans to review Adanis approvals but said the mine needed to go through due regulatory process. That is really important you cant just throw sticks to the ground, put a roof on it and call it a house, she said. Well, in this country, you can actually, dearie. And some are still forced to do so.

Theyre called gunyahs. The Hermit Kingdom Of Jen Kim-un

The closed door culture was at its best with the Townsville City Council this week, when last Tuesdays meeting went into closed session to discuss that item we mentioned last week the ominous sounding International Flight Attraction Incentives Contribution. After the secret session, which decided to proceed with the recommendations of a confidential report, we learned that the council will be in cahoots with Townsville Airport to lobby for direct flights from Singapores Changi airport to Townsville. But things werent too clear in the Astonishers report, when Mayor Mullet was quoted We wont be offering incentives per se to the company. Its really more about what well contribute to a marketing campaign. That of course means paying in part for advertising, which aint cheap. Several questions spring forth like startled gazelles. For a start, which company is being referred to, the QAL-owned Townsville Airport, or the targeted airline (which wasnt named)? And Tony Raggatt neglected to ask what one would think was an obvious question how much are the ratepayers stumping up for this, this time? It may well be justified but we are entitled to know, arent we? And who did the confidential report on which the decision was based , how much did it cost, and when did council vote to commission it, its the first weve heard of it? And heres the biggy on a running issue why is the council doing this, and not Townsville Enterprise, which is laughingly billed as Townsvilles peak marketing and tourism body? (Again we must ask, just what the bloody hell do TEL do, except claim credit for the work of others?) There was some talk that TEL would be involved, which is interesting since the mayor is the vice-chair of the TEL Board to chairman Kevin Rhymes With Gill who is also the head of Townsville Airport. All using public money for this venture. Gotta love this town. And Wither The Much Vaunted City Deal? As The Pie understands it, to get City Deal money, a council development corporation had to be created, which would also hold council land that is deemed suitable to develop in partnership with private enterprise. Why this insistence on yet another layer of bureaucracy which in the wrong hands, is an invitation to corruption, a la Ipswich is anybodys guess, but as it stands as of now, thats all out the window. It would be reasonable to assume that there was no activity, no appointment of new directors, no returns, no report since incorporation. Maybe they just realised is was a dud idea that they were never going to be able to manage. Company Name: TOWNSVILLE EA2 PTY LTD Company Type: Australian Proprietary Company Registered Office: 103 WALKER STREET, TOWNSVILLE, 4810, QLD No. of Current Company Directors: 3 Directors: Name: THOMSON MATTHEW ALLAN Appointed 23/11/2017 Name: YOUNG ADELE CATHERINE MARIE Appointed 23/11/2017 Name: HILL JENNIFER LORRAINE Appointed 23/11/2017 Company Secretary: FINLAYSON GRAEME ROBERT Appointed 23/11/2017 No annual returns or financial reports were recorded by ASIC for this company. And it will be wound up in a matter of weeks. So this company dies from neglect. But there is no explanation as to why all this has happened, especially as it is pivotal to the City Deal worth tens of millions. This May Come As a Surprise, But

The Magpie was impressed with the new TCC CEO Mike Chiodos forthright, plain English statements in todays paper regarding the great news for Townsville that the second stage pipeline looks like being built concurrently with stage one, which is already underway. Compare this with the usual patronising political duck and weave: Mr Chiodo said the council could not wait any longer to ensure the appropriate design was in place for stage 1 but that they would still be in a position to use the design, with some alteration and by moving the pumps to Clare, if a funding announcement was made by late May or early June. The fact that we are proceeding with design shouldnt be construed as anything other than we as an organisation wanting to meet our original commitment and being in a position to facilitate stage 2 should that come through after the election, Mr Chiodo said. The Pie just hopes theres more where that came from doesnt have to be stuff with which we agree, but just so long as we are respectfully informed in plain language. Mayor Mullet, take note. Chewbaccas Last Flight To The Stars Actor Peter Mayhew, best known as the man behind the Star Wars cuddly cult hero Chewbacca, departed our planet during the week. By all reports, one of the good guys in life, Mayhew was lauded from all sides as a funny and likeable bloke. And the man who brought to life one of the most memorable movie characters. But he may be encountering a problem on his final mission, according to the New Yorkers Avi Steinberg.

The Week In Trumpistan Attorney General Barrs toady antics is attempting to shield President Agent Orange from the damning details of the Mueller report has been the focus of attention during the week, along with a shameful milestone for the president.

And

Dessert? The Statue of Limitations

.. Thats yer lot for today, folks, please keep up the erudite, high intellectual tone of the political comments on the blog, heh heh heh and, hey, if youre pretty financially flush just now, a helping hand with a donation would be most gratefully received, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/memo-mayor-mullet-being-seen-through-is-not-transparency-the-tcc-culture-of-secrecy-continues-apace/

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week 26

capsule reviews of the songs which debuted on the 7 July 2017 and 8 July 2017 editions of the billboard hot 100

7.7.2007

61) "Lost," Faith Hill

"With everything I have doesn't mean a thing if it's without you." I. Don't know what that means? I could stare at some of these lyrics and not really understand what's happening other than I'm supposed to believe in love and all its power, which is probably the most we can expect out of a late-career Faith Hill song. It's not great, but, y'know, just as I feel weird about trying to assess Fifth Harmony songs, I feel like Faith Hill songs are reaching for that Aunt With Too Many Inspirational Quote Pillows demographic, and I have to respect the choice she had made to service this demographic. This was someone's third wedding song, and I think that's beautiful. (Also, credit where credit's due, Kara DioGuardi co-wrote a song I tolerated.)

65) "Never Wanted Nothing More," Kenny Chesney

This is a weird one. Because it's Kenny Chesney, but it's also Chris Stapleton, but it's also Chris Stapleton writing a Kenny Chesney song. It's complicated. Like, you look at Kanye West's early discography, you see names you know, Jermaine Dupri, Goodie Mob, Lil' Kim, Nas, Alicia Keys, you see respectable names, you can see how the songs Kanye produced would fit into the greater Kanye catalogue. There's a difference, of course, between production and writing, but early Kanye doesn't feel like producer-for-hire. This song is written so outside the voice I've come to associate with Chris Stapleton that I can't imagine him ever writing it. Like, this song fits in with the Chris Stapleton origin story because it shows Chris Stapleton has been doing this thing for a long time and was good at it, but that's the only way it fits. This is just a Kenny Chesney song that Chris Stapleton happened to write, whereas "Izzo" is a Jay-Z song with a Kanye beat. Country music's weird as hell, man. I ain't gonna get it.

69) "Dance Tonight," Paul McCartney

it's gotta be pretty nuts to know that your status as one of the greatest songwriters of all time is so secure that there is absolutely nothing you could do to remove yourself from that pedestal. Like, the only reason I can find for a song like this (read: a bad one) being made from a dude at this level is, he was bored and wanted to see if people would call it an extraordinary songwriting feat if he just dropped a track like "it's nice when people have fun!"

74) "Let It Go," Keyshia Cole ft./Missy Elliott & Lil Kim

Pretty good! A little subdued for my taste, a little too restrained for a song about letting go, but I think we've talked about how I'm not naturally drawn to R&B simply because the genre is so subdued and restrained, so it's probably my own fault I'm not as into this song as I feel I should be. Like, I like all the names involved, I thnk Keyshia Cole was a pretty decent singer, I like the ingredients of the song, but someone put them together with a different palette than mine in mind. Ugh, and that's just the worst, how the world doesn't make enough things for white males to enjoy. This song, though, I think it's a'ight! I have no complaints about it specifically!

91) "How Do I Breathe," Mario

...i swear i've heard this exact same r&b song at least twice, though. like, "let it go" had missy on the track, it was cool. this is another song about a man who is sad his girlfriend left him and wishes she would come back. mario's a more engaging vocalist than the joes and tanks of 2007, like i'd like to hear him sing a better song, but... man, this week is just songs i didn't need to hear, and not in the sense that pop music is bad and i shouldn't try to listen to this much of it, more that 2007 just kinda said, "hey, here's some shit you've already heard from us, have fun." i feel i don't need to have an opinion on this song because i've already had an opinion on some stargate joint or another, y'know?

97) "Doomsday Clock," Smashing Pumpkins

hey speaking of unnecessary, another smashing pumpkins song! and not even one i need to begrudgingly admit is good, this one is the thing i expected smashing pumpkins to sound like, billy corgan nasally whining about some bullshit or another while the guitar plods along dutifully. nothing here is innovative, nothing here takes smashing pumpkins and frames it in a new light for me, this is just a song that exists. these songs all exist.

Well, obviously, since we’re hitting the halfway point, we’re gonna be doing something special! ...Or I would forget how to count and not realize this was the halfway point. Anyway, no Top 20s because nothing changed. 2017!

8 July 2017

4) "Wild Thoughts," by DJ Khaled ft./Rihanna & Bryson Tiller

I don't believe anything Bryson Tiller says on this song. My understanding of Bryson Tiller was that he was a simpering sad boy who sang about his feelings, so when he comes on a track where he a) has to present himself as an equal to Rihanna and b) has to make the argument that he is a worthy sexual partner for Rihanna, it's hard to take him seriously, because all he's done before suggests he's not this person. Like, someone thought of Bryson Tiller was the answer to the question "Who could make Rihanna think wild thoughts?" and that's just amazing to me. Literally anyone else would have been better. Are we not ready to lean so fully into the Latin trend that we'll give Luis Fonsi a starring role in a DJ Khaled song? Are we just this over Miguel? Hell, we know from "Run Up" that PARTYNEXTDOOR's capable of being occasionally interesting, why not him! This song could've been something, but man, that Bryson Tiller feature sinks it.

51) "Feels," by Calvin Harris ft./Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean

I appreciate the work Calvin Harris puts in to making pop music funky again, I think he's aware there's a direct line in music history from him to The Chainsmokers and he's doing his best to distance himself from that, but there's a limit to how much I can enjoy a song with the line "I know you're not afraid to catch feels with me." Like, this is another good song, Calvin Harris has been doing work this spring/early summer, it's just, one of them has to be the worst, and it's this one with its tumblr-ass hook. I wish I had a more legit reason to not be into this song. Nope. It's just that one word. I don't even necessarily mind that word, it's just, an entire song built around that word isn't a party I wanna attend.

61) "First Day Out," by Kodak Black

Nope!

83) "Relationship," by Young Thug ft./Future

Comparing Young Thug to the other dudes in his genre is like comparing a wasp to a group of bumblebees. They're sort of the same thing, but Young Thug is so much different and fearsome. ...This isn't his best song? This is the song you'd expect to chart off the album given the pedigree, but also, it isn't, because there's so many other, better songs on the album? But we should be evaluating this song for what it is, not what it isn't. "I put my dick inside her mouth before she act." Neat! Of all the many things Young Thug is, he is not perfect.

89) "Feel it Still," by Portugal. The Man

I AM IN FAVOR OF ALL THE BRASS 2017 HAS GIVEN ME THIS YEAR. The only instance of a brass instrument I remember from 2007 is the "Get Buck" beat, and I am so thrilled with the occasional blasts on this song. It's a fun song by a band I know I've heard about at some point but didn't expect to see here. I thought Portugal. The Man was ponderous indie nonsense, but yo, if they got one of these in them, I'm down to see what else they got. It's weird when it turns out bands everyone says is good make good songs. Like, what happened to bands like the Arcade Fire, who just whined monotonously over jingle-jangling?

100) "Real Hitta," by Piles ft./Kodak Black

...Are you. Guys. Are you serious? Piles? PIIIIIIILES? Of all the fucking. So many rappers hit in 2007, and the one y'all dredged up to make the Deacde Dance Club, literally the week I introduce that as a thing, is maybe the worst one, the one whose name I didn't even bother to spell right, I thought he was so yesterday. I'm not gonna listen to it for what I hope are obvious reasons, but that doesn't mean we can't jump into the AZ Lyrics page. "All that ass she got back there startin' to look like a Pamper" This is the least sexy way to describe a butt since "My Humps." "Sex game undefeated, think I'm 100-0" ...Has Piles only fucked 100 times? I mean. Hey, nothin' wrong with that, I'm not here to prude shame anyone or promote promiscuity or whatever, but even in the last 10 years, 3,650 days, Piles has only fucked once every five weeks or so? Or is he just on a winning streak, like, that's how many times in a row he's ejaculated? (I'm assuming he's not bragging that, every time he has sex, he makes the woman cum. I don't think Piles has ever had a woman's pleasure in mind when setting about his business.) This is a bizarre boast. "Biggest thing he ever did for you was take you to Chili's." ...Okay. Okay, that's pretty good. "That lil pussy was so sorry, I call it minimum wage." You know what fuck it I'll take gross political commentary. Piles had two lines I enjoyed out of the context of the song! There may be hope for all of us y -- oh right Kodak Black "I'ma come through, and I'ma fuck ya like the police lookin' for me" Well, that's about as tone deaf as I expected, alright, well, there's hope for some of us.

Decade Dance Party

...Um. 31) Piles We said that it’s hard to have two hits ten years apart. What this list presupposes is... What if it isn’t?

Who Won the Week?

A few weeks ago, there was like a three-year stretch where the Houston Texans and the Cincinatti Bengals would play each other in the football playoffs. They were boring games and bad to watch, and while the Bengals and Texans were good enough to have made the playoffs, it kinda sucked that one of the two got to go to the next round while a different, more fun team to watch gets eliminated, or was left out of the playoffs entirely. “Feel It Still” is a fine song and is definitely better than “Let it Go,” but like. “Feel it Still” shouldn’t be the champion for the week. I dunno, kinda meh for both weeks, 2017 takes it because I don’t think “Feel it Still” should get demerits for all the Kodak Black I didn’t listen to. So.

2017: 14 2007: 12

Next week, 2007 is giving us what is indisputably greater than all The Beatles songs put together. (I linked to that specific post because gosh that dude adding his two cents at the end is the reason op exists.) But will it be better than the alt-country song and the indie-rock song I for some reason ranked over “Umbrella?” ONLY TIME WILL TELL.