#you know the situation is pretty bad when Fiddleford has to be the ethical one
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tinfoil-jones · 19 days ago
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Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 4
Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.
Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications
Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here
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CH.4
"If we’re going to get to the pit of this peach we gotta get some variables outta the way first. I need a scan of his brain and yours. While conscious.”
“Mine as well?”
“You said he’s your identical twin - he should be genetically the same as you. We can use a scan of your brain as a comparison to see if there’s physical damage on the organ itself, because brain damage is the most common cause of amnesia.”
“I do have the technology available for an in-depth scan, but… ”
 “But what?”
“It’s in the shape of a ray gun, but like a traditional MRI whoever is getting scanned has to stay completely still.”
“I don’t s’pose in the time it took me to go into town and get supplies, you managed to reconcile with him?”
“Reconcile? He’s still convinced I’m a mad scientist out to harvest his organs, 'or worse turn him over to the IRS'- don’t ask about that second part. If I point anything gun-shaped at him, he’ll freak out.”
“Can’t say I blame him…”
“Hush, Fiddleford. There’s an easy way we can get him to hold still.”
“Stanford- Stanford put the tranquilizing doohickey away. We both know that concoction of yours wasn’t formulated with humans in mind. Surely you have less caustic means of sedation.”
---
“Stanford, anyone can tell that bottle’s been tampered with.”
“I have a theory that this persona of his is so self-destructive he’ll still drink it.”
“Y’know, this bottled water tastes suspiciously like two crushed Ambien tablets.” 
*Stan keeps drinking it anyways*  
“I am impressed, but I also hate that your theory was correct.”
*Ford undeafens the cell*
“Stanley, if you think there’s zolpidem in that, why are you still drinking it?”
“You think two Ambien is enough to take me down? Guess again, I’ve used this stuff to cut coke. You’re gonna have to try harder than that, PhD.” 
“Hmm, so we should have used Coca-Cola instead of water…”
“That ain’t what he meant by- how did you survive by yourself out here?”
---
“Hello there …Stan?”
“Sup babe.”
“Don’t call me that. I was wondering - you’re so handsome already, but it’d surely tickle my fancy a bit more if you put on this here necktie.”
“Hell no.”
“Do you not know how to tie one? I’d be happy to-.”
“I know how to tie a tie, specs. But I’ll never wear a necktie ever again. Not after Colombia… I still can’t shave that part of my jaw without nightmares.”
“I beg your pardon?”
---
“I couldn’t convince him to put the mind control tie on.”
“Fiddleford, why are you staring a thousand yards away?”
“He was explaining to me his time in Colombian prison, then he went on a tangent about necklaces and now I don’t think I can change a tire without thinking about it ever again.”
“... Interesting. We’re not resorting to the tranq gun yet?”
“This is your own brother you’re talking about.” 
“There’s only one thing we can do. The only thing that will 99.99% work on my brother. I didn’t think it would have to come to this so soon. But it’s our only unharmful option left.”
---
“Stanley.”
“Doc.”
“I will give you twenty dollars if you stay still for thirty whole seconds.”
“On one hand this is a set up… On the other hand, I’ve done worse for twenty dollars.”
“You what ?”
“Ten bucks up front.”
To be continued...
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